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mwplanet · 2 years

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Ward in Colour

Introducing Mary Ward’s newest student-run creative project

By Katrina Ross Rodriguez

Ward in Colour Logo

The community at Mary Ward is overflowing with creativity, skill and artistic talent, with a new project being launched to give creatives a platform to showcase their work. Introducing Ward in Colour! A meeting was held during lunch on November 23rd, 2022 to formally introduce the club to those interested. Lanay Combs, a grade 11 student and one of the creators of Ward in Colour, was interviewed regarding the initiative. They shared their ideas and spoke on behalf of all of the new club’s creators.

Katrina R: What is Ward in Colour? How would you describe it to readers?

Lanay C: The best way I could describe it is, essentially, an art club for all kinds of creatives including visual artists, digital and graphic designers, people into fashion, makeup, photography, and writing. It is a digital zine that we will be releasing seasonally and the purpose of the club is to get the creatives of the school community together and to get those creative juices flowing, because I know that showcasing your art might not be accessible, so with Ward in Colour we hope to build a space for that kind of expression.

Katrina R: What inspired you initially to make Ward in Colour?

Lanay C: During the summer, my friends and I thought, “what if Mary Ward had its own magazine?” We had this 5 hour long conversation just spit-balling ideas for this but decided that it might be too ambitious. We then thought, “what if we just did a small seasonal issued zine that everyone could be a part of and you were always able to hop onto?”

Katrina R: What are some of your sources of inspiration?

Lanay C: Coming to Ward, what attracted me was actually the art room. I was looking around at some of the projects they were doing and I was super fascinated by the things that the artists at Mary Ward were capable of. I wanted to be a part of that in my own right, as well as enable other people to be a part of that as well. Not everyone is in an art class, not everyone is able to pursue art as a career, but they are still passionate about art, so my main inspiration is the idea of inspiring others.

Katrina R: What do you think your personal contributions to the zine will be?

Lanay C: I think my contributions will go as far as helping other people properly get what they want across in their creative vision. Of course, I want to have my own creative visions realized but my main priority is letting other people do that first.

Katrina R: What are your favourite artistic mediums and materials?

Lanay C: I love visual arts as well as digital art. I feel like I excel more at digital art simply because it’s easier and waste free but I love working hands on. I love collaging and cutting things out and creating mosaics of random trinkets of media to create a more cohesive image.

Katrina R: Where do you think you’d want Ward in Colour to go after you graduate?

Lanay C: Another motivation behind Ward in Colour my friends and I had was that portfolios are a big thing for people that want to get into the arts and we thought that having Ward in Colour would be great on a resume or portfolio, but before anything we just want to be able to express ourselves. The purpose of Ward in Colour isn’t to get famous, the point of it is to have a place to express ourselves and that’s the most important thing, the portfolios and the resumes come after. I think we just want to have fun!

Katrina R: Is there anything else you would like to say to readers prior to release of this project?

Lanay C: To the readers prior to the release of the first issue, we really hope you enjoy! Please do not feel like you have to remain a reader forever, you are always welcome to participate or to join. You don’t have to commit yourself fully but if you have even the inkling of an urge to participate in Ward in Colour, please do so. I’m a grade 11 student, I’m not here for that much longer so I’m going to try to do as much as I can with who I can, but we need you first. Sign up sheets are coming soon and I hope that you enjoy it!

Ward in Colour is a collaborative project created by Lanay Combs, Erin Montegrejo, Esther Antwi-Boasiako, Miqo Nimako, Jouie Palconit, Sherika Anthony, Mia Colavincenzo and Francine Martinez. The zine’s first release will be before Christmas break, with their debut title “Frost” being Christmas and New Year’s issue themed. More information can be found on the project’s Instagram @wardincolour or on its Google Classroom, with the code being: vlc5orc

#katrina ross rodriguez #ward in colour #community #mary ward #mary ward planet

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theteapotofdoom · 2 years

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I was really afraid you lost interest in bnha and shigadabi so I'm really glad that you still like them

Oh don't worry, these boys have hooked for life at this point!

And I still care about MHA a lot, just not AS MUCH as I used to. But it just means that MHA went from "number one obsession only thing on my mind ever" to "one of my favourite things that I like a lot". I'm just more casual about it these days, but I'm still working on my shigadabi fics, still following the manga from afar and still lurking in the shigaraki tag!

But yeah I'll be honest: you're probably going to see less MHA content on this blog at the moment. Again, I will still talk about it, but it won't be the main thing on my mind. To tell you the truth, it was a matter of time. I've been on Tumblr for almost ten years, and for many years, I was very much a multifandom blog switching from one obsession to another every two months. So it's genuinely impressive that I managed to stay hyperfocused on MHA for four years!

My life has changed a lot since I first got into MHA, I also changed a lot, and MHA itself changed a lot. And that's how things should be! As the manga is slowly coming to an end, it feels almost appropriate that this part of my "fandom life" is changing too. It will always be incredibly important to me because I made lifelong friends thanks to this manga and it genuinely impacted the way I write and the way I view storytelling. But, as you surely know, the MHA fandom can be ... a lot to deal will. It wasn't always nice. I mentioned it before, but there was a time when a certain part of the fandom almost made me drop MHA for good. That was also on me though, because I was just waaaaay too invested in this fictional world and these fictional characters. I try to be more casual about my fandom interests these days. But yeah, this fandom is intense, mostly in the best way, but sometimes in the worst way.

So I think I got some sort of "MHA fatigue" after a while. At times, it feels like we're all running in circles and having the same arguments over and over again. But again, it doesn't mean that I'm quitting the fandom for good or anything! Just that I'm taking a step back and enjoying other things. And honestly, it will only help to keep my love for MHA more vibrant every time I come back to it!

I'm still very much in the shigadabi fandom though. As I mentioned before, I'm a guest writer on the TouTen zine Monochrome! I wrote two stories for this awesome project (one sfw and one nsfw) so if you love the Touya x Tenko pairing, don't hesitate to get your bundle right now!

Okay so as always, I turn a very simple ask into a full-on introspection essay I'M SO SORRY ... It's just that since there are some changes happening on this blog and since I know that a lot of people got to know me through shigadabi, I always feel the need to "clear the air" and make sure that everyone knows where I'm at right now.

But in conclusion: I still adore Shigaraki and Shigadabi, I still read MHA, I still write for Something Good and all my other shigadabi fics, I'm just more low-key about it, and I also want to share other fandoms with you guys :D

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lilydalexf · 3 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Audrey Roget

Audrey Roget has 10 fics at Gossamer, with some different ones at AO3, fanfiction.net, and her website. You might know her from her very good fics or as part of Musea, a collective that all wrote fic and posted X-Files fic recs. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas and The Shirt. Big thanks to Audrey for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)? A little, yes. Not so much by folks who were around in those days. I sometimes go hunting for beloved stories from the early years, both those I read and loved, and those I never got around to. I am always delighted to hear that later generations of fans have stumbled across my stuff, especially since I haven’t posted anything new in a number of years. It’s fantastic that both years-long fans and new ones are out there continuing to rec fic from all eras, and to maintain archives for fans yet-to-be born. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general? It may sound corny, but the main thing I think of, and the thing that has ultimately been most valuable and lasting, has been the friendships. The feeling of having found a tribe – not just of TXF fans, but of other people who could be as enthusiastically engaged as I was (if not more so) with fictional stories and characters – was mind-blowing. Since I was a kid, I had often mulled over the books/movies/TV I loved and speculated internally about what happened off the page or off-screen, or created new stories for characters in my head. But, except for an elementary school phase where I and my two BFFs regularly played Charlie’s Angels, I hadn’t engaged in that kind of gleeful immersion in a fictional world with others until TXF fandom. My involvement in fandom followed pretty quickly from getting hooked on the show, so for me, it’s all one big ball of experiences. Even as my interest in/involvement in fandom has waxed and waned over the years, I’ve been lucky to remain friends with wonderful people who I originally connected with as fellow fans.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)? What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

My initial entrée to the fandom was through fanfiction. I didn’t get interested in the show until mid-season 5. Around the same time, I read an article in a zine called Might (co-founded by Dave Eggers) about this thing called fanfiction that people would write and publish online. At first I thought it was satire or a joke – the fic cited involved Wilma Flintstone and a polished sabre tooth, as I recall – but then realized this was an actual thing. So I figured that a show then at the peak of pop culture must have fanfiction, and I went looking. Early on, I scrolled atxc on a daily basis and downloaded stories. But I didn’t engage in discussions about the show on Usenet, since I only knew how to access it with my Earthlink email client, and I didn’t want to post using my real name.

Later, I set up a pseud address with Yahoo and subscribed to a couple of email fanfic/discussion lists, and stayed subscribed to those for years. There was also a period in there somewhere – of maybe only a year or so, when I think about it – when I’d often nerd out into the wee hours with other fans via IM chat groups. That was around the time the small writers’ collective Musea was founded, and we were active for several years after the show’s initial run. In the early aughts, I followed many authors to LiveJournal and eventually set up my own account and stayed involved in fandom that way, until it mostly dispersed as well. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? In a word: Chemistry. I had casually watched a couple of episodes during the first four seasons, but I’m not a huge sci-fi/horror fan at heart, and the story lines didn’t immediately grab me. But I happened to tune into The Red and the Black in 1998, and BOOM. For the first time, the intense layers of emotion and attraction between Mulder and Scully really struck me – and then of course, upon further viewing, I realized it was unmissable, an essential element in the fabric of the show. As a wise woman once said, a switch had been flicked. Mulder and Scully’s magnetism was like nothing I’d ever seen, and though I eventually came to appreciate the storytelling, humor, production values, and other components that made the series so successful, watching those characters interact has always been what kept me coming back. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files? I was part of a list-serv discussion group for The West Wing for a while, which was a fun melding of character and plot analysis with political discussion. Later, I got into the House, MD fandom, again mostly as a fanfic reader/writer. I was finding that other fandoms, unlike TXF, were more dispersed, the networks of people structured more loosely, if at all. There were fanfic and discussion communities on LiveJournal, and fanfiction.net was the other main hub for posting and reading, but if there was anything centralized like Gossamer, Ephemeral, or the Haven, I never found it. Within all those fan communities, as in TXF, there were partisans for various characters and pairings, and flame wars erupted over plot developments that outraged this faction or that. One main difference was that those other shows had larger, ensemble casts and more varied subplots. So on one hand, there was more opportunity to explore back stories and multiple perspectives. In House MD in particular, there were several entrenched rival shipper camps, which were about equally grounded in canon, rather than TXF’s central ship. I was less into TWW fic, but my impression was that readers were less militant about their pairing preferences than TXF or House fans. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I was deeply fascinated by Greg House for several years. (And the love-hate chemistry between him and Lisa Cuddy was a strong draw for me.) House MD came early in a wave of TV shows centered on anti-heroes, and Hugh Laurie brought amazing complexity and thoughtfulness to the character.

Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) are a lethal pair of antiheroes. The inherent moral conflict of a sympathetic narrative from their POVs, and the global political conflict they embody was TV catnip for me. The internal struggles at the hearts of those characters were so exquisitely written and performed, they completely fascinate me.

The West Wing felt so much like a show created specifically for me. I’m especially fond of story arcs and scenes that centered on CJ Cregg, Charlie Young, and Josh Lyman. Though I loved Martin Sheen’s human portrayal of Jed Bartlet, the fact that he was the President always made him a little untouchable in my mind. But CJ, Charlie, and Josh were basically hard-working functionaries who were ambitious and idealistic and funny and flawed, and they spoke to me. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I do continue to think about Mulder and Scully and watch episodes somewhat often. I’ll sometimes run a favorite episode as background when I want something comforting on. I read TXF fic pretty regularly, which can inspire me to go back and watch a particular episode or story arc I haven’t thought about in years. Just recently, I started listening to The X-Files Diaries podcast (@XFDPodcast, @admiralty-xfd), and that’s a fun dive into the characters, and how other fans react to and interpret episodes.

Every once in a while, a TV show or movie – and more particularly, the characters – will grab my attention and make me curious about how fanfic writers have interpreted the original material. Random example, I saw Singin’ in the Rain for the first time in a theatre a couple of years ago, and the chemistry of the three leads sent me to AO3 as soon as I got home. I also loved the first season of Mercy Street and found some well-done stories in that fandom. I usually peruse the Yuletide gifts every year and have been amazed by the sheer variety, creativity and cheekiness of the output. There are a bunch of other shows I’ve followed faithfully, and sought out fanfic – Broadchurch, The Killing, Agents of SHIELD, Elementary, The Good Wife. Although I’ve found some well-written stuff in those fandoms, I’ve rarely gotten the same charge from them as reading TXF fic. Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

syntax6 (@syntax6) – Universal Invariants/Laws of Motion. I’d also shout out to syn’s Hunter fics, too – well worth reading even for those who have never seen or particularly loved the show itself.

JET – I re-read Small Lives Awake every year around Thanksgiving time. Other annual holiday re-reads: Revely’s The Dreaming Sea and Jordan’s Through the Fire (both set at Halloween).

Amal Nahurriyeh’s Casey universe – the rare post-col fic that felt hopeful, made extra intriguing by a kick-ass original character. [Lilydale note: the series starts with Machines of Freedom and has lots of additional fics and snippets.]

Prufrock’s Love – Finding Rokovoko was genuinely terrifying and tender.

melforbes (@melforbes) – Seaglass Blue is a recent favorite, lyrical and bittersweet.

These are just a few (apologies to those that didn’t come to mind immediately). Fortunately for readers, there’s an astonishing number of authors who have written in TXF fandom whom you can depend on for a good yarn, insightful character study, and/or ingenious “fixes” where 1013 went awry.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Probably the two set in my own (former) backyard of Southern California: Enivrez-vous and Ravenous. I’d first read the Baudelaire poem that was the source of the former’s title back in university days, so I was tickled to be able to use a few lines as an epigraph. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online? It’s not out of the realm possibility. I’d meant for “Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas” to be followed up with “And One Time She Did.” In fact, the idea for that never-finished story was what inspired “Three Times” in the first place. I have a couple of scenes sketched out and – unusually for me – even know exactly how to end it. Every year, November rolls around, and I think I should finish and post it…maybe in 2021?

Where do you get ideas for stories? Sometimes it’s from my environment. “Enivrez-vous” and “Ravenous” describe places that I’m fond of, that made me want to place Mulder and Scully there. “What Not to Wear” has that element too – I set it in Memphis as a tribute to a great trip there with a sister Musean. But WNTW was also inspired by a kink challenge in a years-ago LiveJournal thread, so sometimes ideas come from fandom discussions or even other fanfics. In the House MD fandom, a fic by another writer made me want to continue the story, and the author kindly allowed an authorized sequel. What's the story behind your pen name? I wanted my pseudonym to sound like it could be a real person’s name – or at least, maybe like a romance writer’s pen name – rather than an online handle. I also wanted to use a slightly obscure fictional character, to amuse anyone in the know. I had long had a bit of an obsession with Whit Stillman’s 1990s film trilogy, which started with Metropolitan; the 3rd installment, Last Days of Disco, came out the same year I started down the TXF rabbit hole: 1998. The central heroine of Metropolitan – who is mentioned in or makes a cameo in the other two – is Audrey Rouget, a lover of Austen and, eventually, a book editor. I altered the spelling of the last name as a nod to every writer’s companion, Roget’s Thesaurus. Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions? I have a few close friends – from outside TXF fandom – who know that I’ve written fanfic. I don’t know if they know my pseud; if they do, or if they’ve ready any of the fic, they haven’t said so to me. They are fannish sorts themselves, but not really TXF fans. A smattering of other friends and family members know or could intuit that I’ve been a fangrl on some level for years. My boss, whom I’ve known for about 3 years, recently mentioned off-handedly that she was really obsessed with TXF “back in the day,” and I am DYING to know if she got involved in fandom, but don’t think I’ll ever work up the courage to ask.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now? Most of the X-Files stuff continues to be generously and steadfastly archived by Forte at The Basement Office. The House MD stories and some TXF things are at fanfiction.net; same for AO3. If ever post anything new, it will probably go to TBO and AO3. I really ought to get it all together in one place, one of these days…

(Posted by Lilydale on April 6, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #audrey roget

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roadtripzine · 3 years

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Lucheek's Road Trip Journal (Page 1)

Gravity Falls: Road Trip is only $6 USD away from having raised a total of $400 for HOCHTX!!

Let's keep this convoy going- download the zine here and set your own donation amount! The zine's sale period will end on September 4th!

Before the sales period ends, I'll do some little journal pages like this for fun!

This was the first zine I ( @Lucheek ) have ever organized! I'll tell you a little bit about how the zine came to be in this first Journal Page, below the cut.

Highlight:

...

If you create anything, feel free to tag me and I'll give it a look over and a reblog.

Inspired by @project-summerhome, another wonderful Gravity Falls fan work, I was thinking of ideas for a continuation of the series. (I enjoy fan-work!!)

The show itself had always reminded me of my experiences as a child, where in the summer my parents would take us on two week long road trips across the country and pack the entire trip with multiple stops a day at places akin the Mystery Shack. My family's tradition was while we were driving, we'd practice writing by writing journal entries in a shared notebook about what we did that day on vacation. (My mother is a teacher who was always eager to find ways to educate us, as well as a scrap-booker.) I'm so glad we did, because now I can look back at these journals and remember so much.

(My favorite journal entry is from my older brother during our trip to Roswell, New Mexico. My brother had a kind of... deadpan cynical X-Files flare going on. It's a hilarious read.)

I didn't want my hypothetical fan-work to seem too similar to the original premise, I wanted to shake things up enough to be distinct, because I wanted to honor that the story had ended, but keep the heart. Now, especially with the information from Journal 3's release- that the town Gravity Falls was a magnet for weirdness- it made the show even more rooted in it's locale. A traveling theme would help create a very distinct point of view, but stay connected in the weirdness, the kitsch, and the characters.

I planned a whole AU for "Road Trip"- with a villain, plot points, original side characters, and how the canon cast had aged. I put the idea on my twitter, and a friend linked me to the "Roadside America" website. It was hugely inspiring just to see what was out there.

However, I realized that it was all... very likely not something I would ever finish. (You may not know this if you don't follow my main account, but I have way too many projects already!) I was completely enamored with the concept though, now that I was seeing so many potential "weird" stories in the locales I found. I decided to make the zine as a way to sate my own apatite to tell stories of the characters beyond the Falls, and to inspire the creation of those stories in others. (My comic in the zine actually references plot points I had in the original complete AU!)

I also thought a for-charity fan-zine would be a good way to "practice" zine organization, something I'd be interested in doing before. As with many things, I rushed in, and put together the zine's logo and this blog just a few weeks after the original idea. I thought, since I was not a "big name" in the Gravity Falls fandom, it wouldn't get much attention. I was wrong! I was blown away by the response I got, and I continue to be blown away!!

Zine organization is tough, and I wouldn't have been able to get through this without the support of the contributors- who offered guidance and moral support every step of the way. Thank y'all so much. I had... quite the year of big stressful events in 2021, so having the forgiveness of my contributors was a huge relief.

Even if you're not a contributor to this zine, I would love to see any work you create that takes the theme- the characters of Gravity Falls at locations around the world discovering the weird and wonderful. I honestly am still so hyped for the potential this concept has. If you create anything, feel free to tag me and I'll give it a look over and a reblog.

(Have you heard of the Corn Palace? How about a Corn Palace made of Human Teeth?)

#gravity falls

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varibean · 4 years

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Try Turning It Off And On Again

This was my piece for the tangled dreams zine that can be found here! I wanted to try writing a bit of Team Awesome/Dadgene so I hope y’all enjoy and lmk what you think!

Read On AO3

It was no small exaggeration to say that, on paper, Varian was living a near perfect life. It was hard to imagine the boy-or as his father so often called him, ‘young man’-wanting for anything and for the most part he didn’t. After the battle with Zhan Tiri and the terrifying day of the eclipse, all of his dreams had been practically handed to him on a silver platter. Royal Engineer, renowned alchemist, best friend to several important people; with all that under his belt it was hard to imagine him not being in a constant state of euphoria over how well his life was playing out. Especially after his rocky start.

However if someone was to catch him in the early hours of the morning, they would be led to think that nothing had ever gone right in the history of his entire life.

It wasn’t a fact of Varian not being a morning person that was the issue but rather the sheer number of things he had to do once he got up. Early on in his career as royal engineer, Rapunzel thought it to be a great idea that he live in the palace with them. He’d been excited about the prospect at first; getting to live close with his greatest friends? Spending his days working on machines? Winding down at night in the grand ballroom for dinner? Absolutely perfect.

What he hadn’t considered was the fact that, by living in the palace, he was essentially on the clock twenty-four seven. Every morning when he woke up he skipped his usual routine of combing his hair or brushing his teeth in favor of opening up his bedroom door. That action was always greeted with a pile of neatly placed but still numerous scrolls, all left behind by the morning castle page. Each one was either a task, request, or order form filed by any and all who needed his service. It was only after he picked them all up and read through them that he continued his other morning tasks.

Life at the castle was more boring than he’d ever considered life in a castle could be. The whole place worked like clockwork and not the fun kind. The only thing that broke up the monotony of the place was Rapunzel, with her always chipper nature, and Eugene, who often tagged along with her despite his own duties as Captain of the Guard. But even that small burst of excitement was becoming less and less as time went on. Less Rapunzel, less Eugene, more work.

When Varian first arrived, everything had been wonderful and new. The scrolls at his doorstep were exciting projects, not boring chores. He had time for his own inventions and endeavors no matter how small they were, and most importantly, he got to spend time with his friends. All of those things were slowly fading, dwindling in time and importance as his daily tasks grew and grew. When writing his father about it, the older man simply replied that it was all part of growing up. Varian hated that. Still, the days dragged on, the ever steady pace of the castle completely uncaring to his internal plight of drudgery.

____

It was on a day of heavy rain and wind when Varian got the notice that something was wrong with the boilers. Nothing major enough to cause an entire village to explode, he’d been sure to put that safety precaution in place, but enough to warrant a knock on his door as he was preparing for lunch. No ham sandwich break for him today.

Apparently some rainwater had managed to seep through the shallow earth and gotten into the underground reservoir used to fill the tankers, in turn causing them to overflow. It wasn’t the overflow that was causing any structural issues, the machines wouldn’t rust overnight after all, but it was causing an imbalance in the chemical reaction. Too much water meant there was more liquid than the chemicals could properly heat, leaving everyone with lukewarm water. Tragic.

Duty called though and lunch would have to wait.

“Lukewarm water. Oh”, Varian said sarcastically to Ruddiger as he prepared to go down and find the leaky bit of earth that was causing the problem, “The horror of it all.”

The people of Corona could survive a day or two without hot water, but why should they when they had a Royal Engineer at their disposal? Nevermind the fact that he was a person too, who was currently missing out on his meal so that everyone else could wash their hands in comfort.

He bit back the desire to spout out another sarcastic comment to his furry companion, knowing that he was just being unreasonably bitter because he was hungry. Food would still be there when he got done; the longer he ignored the problem the worse it would get. In all fairness, it took priority. Besides, something like sealing up a bit of loose earth and diverting the dripping water from the tankers would be an easy fix. He could do it in his sleep.

____

Varian had been correct in assuming that the boiler problem would be an easy fix, maybe slightly tedious at best. What he hadn’t accounted for was how difficult it would be to simply get down to the reservoirs in the first place.

The problems started the second he stepped out of his room and into the main hallways of the castle. Ruddiger trotted beside him happily, the fat animal knowing that his only job was companionship and nothing more. Given the time of day and the raininess outside the place was busier than it normally was. Gardeners muttered over their tools, maids rushed to clean up dirt and grime that had been tracked in, and all the other servants began to hustle and bustle around in order to make sure that everyone was safe and well attended to.

It shouldn’t have been a long trek, just a few turns before getting to the downstairs, but the trip was elongated by everyone constantly bumping into him and pushing him aside.

Despite being a respected member of the staff, he was still just a boy in many of their eyes. He glared at the people who brushed past him, knowing that he’d helped each one of them with at least half a dozen things at some point or another. They’d been perfectly kind to him then but now he was nothing more than another body blocking their way. It was easy to be nice to someone while they were doing something for you and even easier to ignore them when the time was over.

Half way through the crowd to his destination he felt a hand grip at his arm and turning around he was met with the stern face of a maid, face flushed with frustration.

“Excuse me young man, you’re the Royal Engineer correct?”

Her voice was twice as haughty as she looked, speaking as if she couldn’t believe that she had to stoop to the level of talking to him in the first place.

“Varian. Just Varian.” He didn’t have time to deal with whatever nonsense the woman needed him for even though he had a sneaking suspicion that he was about to be given no choice.

He was quickly proven right as the woman gave a soft huff and pulled him alongside her to whatever issue she needed fixed. For a moment he considered squirming out of her grasp or maybe telling her that he was busy but as nice as those both seemed he knew that it would only come back to bite him in one form or another. If he didn’t fix whatever problem she had now then he would have to do it later. He was already missing lunch, might as well make the most of things.

She all but shoved him into one of main rooms, where he was met with several maids and servants covered in dust and circled around one of his many machines.

Ah , he thought, That explains a lot.

“Your blasted machine blew up. How are we supposed to clean up dust when the device that you made to help does nothing but blow it back in our faces?” The woman huffed as she crossed her arms.

Varian would have rather been scolded by old lady Crowley than whoever this woman was. At least Crowley didn’t balk like a fish when she was angry.

“Have you tried turning it on and off again?” Varian tried to joke to lighten the mood, but was met with only a cold shoulder and a stifled chitter from Ruddiger.

Eugene or Rapunzel would’ve found it funny.

He signed while leaning down to the device and fixing it up with one very simple step: Flipping the switch from ‘blow’ to ‘suck’.

“Let me know if you have any actual problems with it ma’am. Sadly, even I can’t fix operator errors.”

He skittered out of the room before anyone could berate him for his mouth. He smirked to himself, thinking how funny one of his friends would find that line. That was only the beginning of his troubles though.

It seemed that every step he took towards the boilers, someone needed his assistance.

Nigel’s mechanical pen needed the ink chamber fixed, Hope needed the automatic laundry cart’s wheel to be tightened, one of the chefs needed more preservation chemicals to keep the food fresh until next week.

By the time he actually got to the door to the boiler room it was well past his lunch break, time slowly and steadily creeping towards dinner. Hours of helping crowds of people with their problems and all that just so he could get to the actual problem of the day.

But yet again, right when he was about to turn the knob on the door and enter the stairwell for the boilers at long last, another hand grasped at his arm.

“Hey there buddy-”

“For the sun’s sake I just need to fix one stupid problem!” Varian shouted, turning around to face the stranger who’d grabbed him only to find that it wasn’t a stranger at all.

Instead he was met with Eugene’s surprised and amused face looking down at him, red uniform dampened slightly from the outside rain and hair slicked back in an admittedly stylish fashion.

“Well hello to you too short stack.” Eugene’s response was met with a groan as Varain pushed in the door and began to descend into the underground area. “Rough day?”

“Not more than any other day here.”

“So I’ll take that as a yes. What’re you doing going to the boilers so late, it’s almost chow time kiddo. You know how your dad will chew us out if we don’t get you your three squares a day.”

Even with Eugene’s joking nature Varian could hear a bit of sincerity in his words. He couldn’t bear the thought of confessing that he hadn’t gotten a chance to eat lunch. Instead he just kept walking downwards, the other man following close behind with Ruddiger.

“The rain cracked through one of the underground tunnel walls, which has been causing the small reservoir down there to flow faster. It’s overfilling the machines which means the formula for heating them isn’t working and that means a bunch of people upset at me until I can fix it.”

“Well of course, can’t imagine what a tragedy it must be to go a full day with only lukewarm water.” Eugene’s tone was sarcastic, mimicking Varian’s earlier sentiments on the matter.

Despite the day he had, the alchemist laughed. Of course Eugene of all people would share his same sense of humor at the situation.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if people would just let me get down here in the first place.”

“Nah, they can’t make it too easy on you kiddo, that’ll just make you go soft.”

Another chuckle rang out against the walls. It was more than Varian had laughed in probably an entire week. Suddenly the task of fixing a leak didn’t seem so bad; having company helped and though he loved Ruddiger to pieces, there was only so much conversation that a single raccoon could have.

“So what do we have to do to fix it?” Eugene asked after the laughter had settled and the two made it to the bottom of the steps, leading to the underground tunnels.

“I’m just going to put some of my newest solution on the crack and up the Flynnolium for a few hours. That’ll give everything time to reset by morning and then I’ll adjust the Flynnolium solution release back down to four percent per tanker. And it’ll also give everyone else ample time to find something new to yell at me about.”

Though he spoke with a joking tone he could see the flash of concern that drifted over Eugene’s face, making him instantly regret saying anything at all. He didn’t want to appear ungrateful to the older man; he really did love his job even with the few pitfalls that came with it. His snark was nothing more than the result of a little stress. That’s what he told himself at least.

The rest of the walk was short and comfortably chatty, Eugene going on about his latest guard duties while Varian laughed and ribbed him on his work ethic. It was nice to finally get some time to talk to his friend again, Team Awesome. He almost didn’t want his work day to be finished but the fixes he needed to implement were easy; it had just taken him forever to get down to do them. Just as soon as the two (plus Ruddgier) had made it to the caves, they were back to the top of the staircase.

“Well kid,” Eugene started, “now that we’ve got that all done let’s go get some grub. Don’t want to keep everyone else waiting.”

Eugene began to walk in the direction of the dining hall but Varian stayed put. He was hungry, that much was for sure, but he’d spent all day around people. Being around them, fixing their problems, having them bump into him and squawk at him. It was nice to spend some time with just Eugene but an entire room full of more people...now that was something different entirely.

“Actually I still have some leftovers from lunch in my room.” By which, of course, he meant his entire lunch. “I’m not that hungry anyways so I think I’m going to pass tonight, tell everyone I said hi.”

“Are you sure? Heard there was going to be cookies tonight-”

“Yeah, don’t-don’t worry about me it’s just been...been a really long day.”

Varian mustered up his best smile and gave a thumbs up as he walked away before Eugene could say anything else.

It had been a nice reprieve from his regular day to day drudgery, but it was time to go to bed and start the whole process over again tomorrow.

____

When Varian woke up the next morning he wasn’t tired which was his first clue that something was wrong. He stretched and yawned, squinting as the sun shone brightly through his window which was the second clue.

The third, and by far the most obvious clue, came when he cleared his nose and sniffed a few times and was met with the scent of fresh ham and eggs. Turning to his night stand he saw a brilliantly decorated tray of toast, butter, and scrambled eggs with ham and tomato slices mixed in.

“What in the-oh shit!” Next to the delicious smelling breakfast was his alarm clock which had apparently not gone off despite having wound it up the night before, seeing how the time displayed on it read 11:12. He was late, beyond late. It was nearly noon, he would never hear the end of it. Not only that, but there was a bigger issue at hand.

“The Flynnolium!” He darted up out of bed, not even bothering to put on his work clothes or brush his hair.

He nearly tripped over his own feet trying to reach the door. When he opened it, however, he ran face first into a solid body, sending him reeling back from the impact.

“Well good morning there sleepy head. Man, you really must’ve been worn out to sleep that long huh? Any sweet dreams?” The voice was calm and teasing with just a hint of sincerity playing against the tone of a smile.

“Eugene!” Varian steadied himself and once again tried to get by him. “I can’t talk right now, I have to go. I overslept somehow and-and the Flynnolium has been set on high for too long, I need to get down there and-”

“Set it back to four percent per tanker? Already taken care of buddy. Now come on, I worked all morning on that breakfast and you haven’t even touched it. Well, the royal chef worked all morning on it but I was in the room so i’m pretty sure that counts for something. Supervising, you know, is a very important part of the process.”

“Wha…”

Varian couldn’t even finish his sentence as Eugene guided him back to his bed and sat him down, moving the breakfast tray onto his lap.

“Well don’t sit there wasting all that hard work, dig in.”

“But I don’t...I don’t understand how-what the hell is going on?”

“Language.” Eugene chidded jokingly before sitting down beside the other, “I noticed you seemed a little stressed yesterday. So, I took it upon myself to give you the day off. Woke up this morning and turned the Flynnolium down. Bribed Ruddiger with a few apples to get him to turn your clock off and let you sleep in.”

Varian looked down at the food in his lap, speechless. He hadn’t been that tired, had he?

“Why though?” He asked, quizzically picking up a slice of toast and slowly biting it.

“I just told you, you’re stressed. We’re Team Awesome and Team Awesome looks out for each other.”

Varian continued to crunch slowly and Eugene let out a soft sigh before putting his hand on the other’s back.

“I know the people here demand a lot from you. It would be a big adjustment for anyone just to exist around this place, let alone be the Royal Engineer. Doing projects every day, people only giving you the time of day when they need you, running around like Pascal chasing after a fly. And I know I...probably haven’t helped much in that regard either. You’re the Royal Engineer because Rapunzel and I know you can handle it. But just because you can handle it on your own doesn’t mean you should have to.”

The more Eugene spoke the more Varian relaxed, shoveling more food into his mouth as he got more comfortable.

“Fankfs.” He said, his cheeks full like chipmunks, causing Eugene to laugh.

“No problem buddy. Anyways, like I was saying, I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much-”

“That’s not your fault.”

“No, but it is my fault for not trying harder. And for not realizing how tough things have been on you. So, here’s the plan, once a week from now on you’re getting a full twenty-four hours of off time. Maybe after a few of those and we’ll finally have you back on a decent sleeping schedule. Anyone who interrupts it gets thrown in the dungeon, my royal decree as Captain.”

“I don’t think Captains can make royal decrees.” Varian stated flatly, suppressing a smirk.

“Ok smart mouth, well they can now. You have the rest of the day off.”

There was a comfortable silence for a moment as Varian finished eating, setting aside the tray and closing his eyes. He leaned against Eugene’s shoulder, content and full and happy.

“Thanks Eugene.”

“Anytime kiddo. Team Awesome?”

Eugene extended his fist and Varian happily, if not a bit tiredly, pounded it with his own.

“Team Awesome. Now, since I have the rest of the day off…” In a split second Varian was falling back against his bed, rolling himself up in the blankets pillows, “I’m going back to sleep.”

Eugene laughed and playfully shoved his shoulder.

“Lazy bones. Well, have sweet dreams. Sugar plum fairies and all that.”

“Nah, I’m going to be dreaming of cute blonds who look like Flynn Rider and take me on daring adventures.”

That caused Eugene to laugh even louder.

“Wow, you really are such a teenager aren’t you? Well tell dream hotshot that if he wants your fantasy hand in marriage he’s going to have to get through me first.”

“And my dad.” Varian joked bluntly.

“Personally I think I’m the more important one to impress but, yeah, that guy too-” Suddenly a pillow hit Eugene’s face, muffling his chuckles, “Ok ok I get the message, I’m leaving, I’m leaving.”

“Eugene?”

“Yes sleeping beauty?”

“Thanks, I needed this.”

“Any time kiddo. Love ya.”

As Eugene closed the door, Varian closed his eyes, sinking down into his mattress and into a day of blissful sleep.

“Love you too.”

By the time Varian got the drowsy words out, Eugene was already gone, but it didn’t matter. He already knew.

#Eugene Fitzherbert #varian #team awesome #tangled the series #dadgene #zk fic #hope yall enjoy!!!!!!

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ceallachs · 4 years

Text

thank you.

This announcement is a little overdue, but I’ve gained over 1k followers on this blog! 🥳🥳🥳

I actually passed this milestone a while ago. Life has just been getting to me with so much to do that I can only manage a couple of drawings at a time. So I don’t have anything special other than my heartfelt thanks and some words. Under this post, I address a lot of things in regards to my art journey, fandoms, future plans with BakuTodo, and a lot of it is about AkaKuro.

So if you are interested, please read on. If you’re here just to check my art, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to let my work be part of your day and for your support. ^^

I know I was mostly only posting KnB/AkaKuro stuff until only a couple months ago, so the change from KnB to BNHA was pretty drastic and nerve-racking. I’ve been thinking of making the move as early as December 2019, but I hesitated for the longest time. As someone who has built their fandom “identity” around AkaKuro and KnB, making that move to another fandom, to another OTP even, may have come as a surprise to a lot of my old followers and friends. I do not keep track of every individual followers I get; surely some have left, or maybe some still stick around to see if I will get back to AkaKuro again, one day.

Interests are fleeting and people change constantly. In a time where people always jump onto the next big thing to another in a short span of time, I can say that I have a pretty good streak of committing to my main fandoms. My first online fandom lasted for seven years. The next was KnB, and this one lasted for nine years.

I was a teenager when I joined the KnB fandom and now I’m in my 20s. I still love AkaKuro with all my heart; it will always be a big part of who I am, but I have to admit at some point where I am now in life, and I will say I have already moved on.

This is an excerpt from my Twitter that I thought I should also address here because it sums up everything I’ve wanted to say. I’ve made some major tweaks and edits and added more things to properly articulate my feelings about the matter. I hope it is understandable enough.

It started in November.

In the first few months of dabbling with BakuTodo, I was very, very scared. I was worried because I was such a prominent person for the AkaKuro fandom; I hosted and held events for years, I stayed "active" for AkaKuro even five years after KnB had ended. I wrote fics, drew stuff, promoted every AkaKuro thing I can even when all my AkaKuro friends have moved on. I have so much AkaKuro merch and doujins because it had taken over my life that prominently.

So after all of that, I didn't know what would happen with a change because I felt like I was already in too deep to move on now. I wasn't sure if I could (should) like anything else, or if I was even allowed to like something else as deeply as AkaKuro without letting people down.

Eventually I just gave in three months later and became more vocal about this new interest. I lost followers which was expected, even those whose handles that became very familiar to me because they actively interacted with me about AkaKuro and KnB before. It stung but not as badly as I thought it would. The change was nice; I felt free.

I think it's only now that I've become comfortable to admit all this in public. To admit my worries, to admit that I've liked a ship more than AkaKuro for a while, to admit that the weight of AkaKuro being prominently tied to my name like an identity has become too heavy a burden to bear. I still do love AkaKuro, it's a part of my life that will never change, I think. But it's also not my main source of happiness nor inspiration anymore, and I hope that, it's okay for me to feel that way now that I've said it out loud.

It's strange to explain, but I think it's because I've dedicated a huge chunk of my life to AkaKuro that I think I've already exhausted all I have to give for it. Nine years of being solely dedicated to one ship is a long time, you have to admit. It's not like my other ships that are more casual, so that burst of excitement will always be present when it gets brought up once in a while. With AkaKuro, my feelings for it have significantly mellowed down, like a precious memory now tucked away in a special place in my heart.

A friend told me that it's okay to move on, and that somewhere down the line AkaKuro will become something I'll look back on fondly even though bittersweet. I have no doubts that'll be the case. But it's also nice to finally just be honest and set myself free.

I've also been feeling very guilty of promising an AkaKuro zine last December and now... it is just the last thing on my mind. I have so much more I want to do that is no longer about AkaKuro, and I shouldn’t force myself to do this zine out of obligation. But if ever someone else were to host an AkaKuro zine, I will support it and even participate if the timing is right.

About my future plans, I don’t think I will be drawing KnB again out of leisure (maybe for commissions, or projects, etc). I still have a lot of unfinished and unreleased KnB fanmerch though (an AkaKuro yukata standee and Carnival AkaKuro standee, and maybe a re-release of some old charms for the last time), so that may be the last of my contribution to this ship out of my own volition for a while. It would be a waste to scrap them.

Right now, all my love and inspiration for anything creative and self-indulgent is being driven by BakuTodo and it’s the best feeling I’ve had in a long time. I want to draw more about them; I have long list of ideas I’m excited to get into. Not only that, my love for writing was reawakened too, and I hope to also post fics about them along with my art.

I still love AkaKuro, and people can still talk to me about AkaKuro, but it is definitely not my priority ship anymore. Who knows if I'll come back to it again, but for right now, I hope everyone will be okay with the change. And if not, that's okay too and I expected it, I also put this out here to give the go signal if anyone wants to unfollow or not. I know there are people who only follow for specific content, and I've come to terms with myself to be okay with this happening with me.

Just know I'm happy where I am. I'm grateful to friends and acquaintances who still stick around to support me even after this, and I also understand if some don’t. I hope those who leave will find another content creator to cater to their needs. Thanks for giving me a chance. ^^

I hope this clears up the kind of content to be expected from me from now on. I will never forget my time in the KnB fandom because this is where it all started for me. I will also be slowly getting rid of more AkaKuro doujins, fanmerch, and official merch collection once the lockdown situation eases up. Hopefully someone else will find homes for them.

Tumblr is not my main social media but I still do like the format of blogging here, so I stay to cross-post my art from Twitter and Instagram.

From exclusively drawing cheebs, I’m now also drawing non-cheebs and I’m having a lot of fun. My art is far from perfect and that’s okay. As someone who gave up on art for nine years, being able to do it again now, sharing and posting my art and actually be happy about it is more than enough for me. I’m not striving for perfection, I know where my level is at. Drawing and writing are both hobbies I hold dear -- a creative outlet for me to express my love for what I’m currently passionate about and what makes me happy. I really appreciate it if you stay with me for this ride because I know I’ve come a long way these past 2-3 years.

To anyone who views my art, likes and reblogs, leaves nice comments and all, I hope you know that I appreciate you a lot. I rarely get messages on here, but I do read tags on my posts often, and going through them always puts a smile on my face to know that I have an audience here who genuinely likes what I do.

There isn’t much more for me to say here so I think that will be all. Again, thank you for 1k+ followers! If I can make even just a single person happy with my art, whether you’re new here or just dropping by or have been following me for a long time, I’ll be content. And if I can make someone like BakuTodo too through how I portray them, that’d be even more amazing. ^^

Until next time. 💖

#chii speaks #akakuro

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arecomicsevengood · 4 years

Text

AGING ALTERNATIVES

We live in a culture that worships the large-scale spectacle of the obvious. Partly because of this, the most affecting thing a person can do is something with a large amount of effort behind it, delivered to a small audience: An elaborate meal cooked for a loved one, a labored-over zine in an edition of ten. But of course, time has this great leveling effect, and attempting something large scale can easily crash and burn, and in so doing become something only for a limited audience.

There is an ongoing conversation being had about older comics but they are almost always superhero comics, with some weird eighties genre trash thrown in. This conversation includes a great many alternative cartoonists, but it is very rare for a forgotten art comic to slide its way into the discussion. There’s numerous reasons for this: The larger the print run, the larger the chance a work will find its way to a bargain bin. But also, artists are competitive, and largely inclined to promote themselves or their peers. Once an artist is no longer producing work, they are rarely championed.

Obviously, not everyone finds their way into “the canon,” but you would think that work intended to be somewhat personal would end up being valued enough by individual people that you’d hear about it now and again. The case for alternative comics is the same as it ever was: It’s an artistic medium that can do anything, and it’s released in the fairest most egalitarian way, via mass production, for it to find people who will support it. The art is immediately striking in a way that gives it an edge over the written word, but it’s distributed to shops across America rather than galleries, and so should have long life after its initial release. Of course, the vision falters due to the reality that most of what gets produced is pretty bad, and not really expressing anything particularly unique or individual, and this only goes unspoken at the time of a work’s release due to admiration for the amount of labor that nonetheless went into it.

But what ends up happening in retrospect is this thing where banal superhero work gets reevaluated, with certain aesthetic decisions dictated by the technology of the time (like the coloring) becoming romanticized and recognized as things of beauty, while tons of black and white comics made by people who were desperately trying to push the medium forward and make something that works as art or literature get tarred with a blanket dismissal, associated with either the indulgences of the highest-profile practitioners or simply casualties of their pitiful attempts at graphic design. Only the small handful of practitioners whose publishers have steadily championed them and kept their work in print get to escape this fate. But obviously, if you’re working at something risky, you might end up working with publishers who are not economically viable in the long term, or, if they are, it’s because they’re being subsidized by projects way more commercial than yours.

There’s plenty of stuff which had a large enough print run for copies to be found, but functionally exist at the level of visibility of a zine. But, while I might be interested in extending the same amount of charity I would to someone making work with no hope of commercial success, to engage with the work honestly means that the fact that it was attempting to find its place in the world of commerce must be taken into consideration when thinking about the goals it set out to fulfill. That so much fails to meet these commonly-held goals can make one feel pretty depressed about the medium, and maybe this is another reason for people to avert their eyes: When you’re talking about superhero comics of a certain vintage, while they might not have attempted to be art, at least the people making them got paid.

Obviously, The Comics Journal has been fighting this fight for decades. I am sure all of the books I am going to write about, they have already covered, and they probably came to the same conclusions, and depending on the writer, they might’ve been more entertaining to read than I will be. But I want to offer these reconsiderations in light of all the other reconsiderations being made, that are coming to the opposite conclusion of what The Comics Journal would’ve. It is easy to look back at the 1980s now and say, for instance, that Elektra Assassin is a better comic book than American Splendor. There’s a discrepancy between what is the best work being produced at a given historical moment and what is the most exciting scene to be a part of. I like to think if I had been writing for the Comics Journal in the early nineties, I wouldn’t have gone all-in praising Palookaville, but I get that in the moment it would’ve felt important to do so. Now, of course, there is very little that feels exciting at all, in the context of real-world community, due to the global pandemic. This is an incredibly lonely moment, and nostalgia has a powerful allure.

But I’d like to ensure the nostalgia we feel compels us to fight for what’s human, rather than allow us to simply surrender our past to the colonizing forces of corporate interests. In the interest of the human, I will not make any grandiose claims for the works I’m writing about. I’m not describing anything as a masterpiece. These instead fulfill the humble virtues of being charming, cool, interesting. They didn’t upend my value system of what the comics medium could be. But, since it was all of the Picturebox releases that shifted my perspective on comics on its axis when I was in college that caused me to ignore some of this stuff, that its virtues can endure after such a flip is itself notable. Anyway, I have no reason to have written such a long preamble. I could’ve easily just made separate posts for each comic I wanted to talk about, but all this additional context seemed important to me to articulate. All of these are books I bought online over the past few months.

Shuck Unmasked, by Rick Smith and Tania Menesse

Feel like the main thing holding this comic back is a certain lack of joie de vivre to its line. There’s a certain cuteness to its designs that seems reminiscent of Jeff Smith or Goodbye Chunky Rice era Craig Thompson but it’s a little bit stiff in ways those cartoonists aren’t. The mask Shuck wears resembles the face Chester Brown draws himself having in Paying For It. I feel like this is maybe the only comic I’ve seen that frequently has dialogue that’s misspelled in an attempt to capture phonetic dialect and presents that through lettering that feels like a font. There’s a sense of being rounded instead of being scratchy, a lushness that feels hinted at, but also tamped down. There’s a literary flavor to it, an attention to the language, a deliberate and delicate sense of stately melancholy that’s present.

The Shuck of the title is a demon, living on Earth, tasked with making sure the dead don’t escape the afterlife and roam around. Despite his horned form, he’s able to wear the mask of an old man, and fit in with his neighbors, which include a little girl, with whom he develops a bond. There’s a gentle quality to it, but also a sense of darkness that prevents it from being cloying, an interest in the esoteric that suggests the profound. The premise could be a recipe for sitcom-ish stasis, but actually the status quo shifts quite a bit, over the course of these self-published comics, collected into a book by Top Shelf. It feels like each individual chapter should be reread a few times before proceeding on; the chapters have a nice density to them. That’s the funny thing about a lack of velocity to the line, it suggests a studiousness with which to approach it, but doesn’t invite the eye to return to it. Two issues of a sequel were self-published afterwards, I would read those.

Tales Of Woodsman Pete, by Lilli Carré

I’ve heard a couple people call Lilli Carré the best cartoonist of her generation. The first time I heard it said, I had never read anything by her, but I was struck by the assertion because there’s so many heavy hitters in that cohort I’m not comfortable making such declarations about anyone. There’s a collection of Carré’s short stories I’ve checked out from the library, but I found that collection inconsistent, with notable highs that didn’t still didn’t quite bowl me over. This could be partly an issue of format - Few cartoonists of Carré’s generation have a short story collection of their work available, and it might not be the best way to examine the work and see its strengths.

(A sidenote irrelevant to the larger thrust of this conversation - I started keeping a google doc of what years cartoonists were born, and have a my own idea of “generations” of cartoonists in terms of whose work it makes sense to consider alongside one another. 1960-1967 is one cohort, then 1968-1975, then 1976-1982, then 1983-some point unclear to me at this point, there’s a generational divide for sure but I don’t yet know the rules of it. I lump Carré in with Eleanor Davis, Dash Shaw, and Michael Deforge, rather than the slightly older group which includes Kevin Huizenga, CF, and Sammy Harkham. That’s not to say the people championing Carre are making the same distinctions, these generational lines are weird and arbitrary and some people are “on the cusp” and everyone chooses their own peers to a certain extent. However, I do think these generations are important or useful to think about, in terms of who came up with access to alternative newspaper strip jobs vs. the Xeric Grant vs. Tumblr, and it’s just generally interesting to think about what was around to serve as an influence at a formative age. People born after 1967 have had very few opportunities or chances for institutional support, by my reckoning. Over time, more people became acclimated to making uncompromising art, and there also became way less economic opportunity for people making work intended for adults. I suspect the forthcoming generation will be more inclined towards making content for kids because they grew up with things targeted to children, and they can be part of the push to make that stuff more diverse. This coincides with all of the economic infrastructure except for libraries being obliterated.)

Tales Of Woodsman Pete is a smaller object, of digest proportions, that Top Shelf released, early in Carré’s career. It’s worth noting her style nowadays is far more experimental and minimal, although I suppose at the time her work might’ve been considered pared-down, closer to folk tales than novels. This comic follows a woodsman, who monologues to no one, speaking to the trophies he’s made of his kills, in a series of short strips. This is juxtaposed against bits involving Paul Bunyan and his ox Babe, who share a camaraderie between them that doesn’t truly abate Bunyan’s sense of loneliness. It is, like Shuck, a gentle thing, and is able to conjure up some emotion, but I wonder if the sense of tweeness present within it is something Carré feels she’s outgrown? That’s not to say I object to it, just that I recognize a shift away from that stuff. I believe Carré is a Calvino fan, this stuff might be closest to the early stories in Our Ancestors, but Calvino’s work became far more overtly experimental afterwards. I don’t know, I still don’t have a bead on who Carré is or where she’s going. And that’s great, why should I?

Hectic Planet: Checkered Past, by Evan Dorkin

In high school, I read a Hectic Planet comic called The Bummer Trilogy, and liked it a lot. That was a single issue collecting three short stories that were the last work Evan Dorkin would do with the characters. While in retrospect, high school is probably the ideal age to read this material, those strips still feel more mature, in a sense of being personal, than much of Dorkin’s work. He’s written some superhero comics for the big two that never did much for me, and he has some collaborative genre comics I’ve never read, but he’s most associated with his humor cartooning, which I have kept up with despite only finding them intermittently funny. There’s always a sense of Dorkin as a performer of his material, where the humor tends to feel angry, but his most self-consciously autobio material is about the fact that his psyche is a dumping ground for assorted pop culture detritus. What’s interesting about this material is that is, in fact, still kind of immature, but it’s moving away from the science fiction premise, to be present enough to make jokes and talk about feelings. It’s the falterings towards finding a voice and having confidence in it, a youthful move towards what might not be maturity, but is, at least, work. So chunks of this are about a dude who’s heartbroken because he caught his girlfriend cheating on him and so he’s annoying all of his friends by complaining all the time and he’s thrilled to meet girls who like the same bands as he does and he goes to the grocery store and only buys junk food and while this might sound dumb, in context, it’s the beginnings of a worldview that feels fairly true to life for someone who would’ve been that age, at that point in time.

So, considering the era, and the sense of a science fiction premise being abandoned, it might make sense to think of this comic as following in the footsteps of Love And Rockets, albeit from an East Coast Jewish male perspective, and nowhere near as good. It almost feels like if a low-budget eighties sci-fi movie had cast a stand-up comedian in it, and when the budget got cut, they let him fill out the runtime with his routines and riffs, in an attempt to make it a star vehicle in case he ever got cast on SNL. Slave Labor put out a lot of alternative comics, and they all kind of got looked down upon to one degree or another. Much of what they published is both really poorly drawn and nakedly chasing whatever youthful subculture audience they could. Dorkin is easily one of the better artists they had, but the desire to be cool according to the terms of the subculture of the times makes for comics that feel dated now. All the characters in this book are really into ska, the back of the book has all these images taken from ska compilations and 7-inches featuring the characters. But that’s also interesting, because sensing the book’s quest to find its readership lends such authenticity to the young adult milieu, of what it means to be on your own and trying to find your people. It’s from a moment in time when talking about young people put a work in dialogue with alternative culture and not major book publishers, who due to generational differences, would not have understood any of the things this comic is about.

(This piece is sort of a variation on what I talk about in my article in But Is It… Comic Aht 2, by the way. There, behind a beautiful Lilli Carre cover, you can see me talking up more explicitly “all-ages” comics Slave Labor published, like Zander Cannon’s Replacement God, and Scott Roberts’ Patty Cake. Halo And Sprocket was a little bit later than the time period the article focuses on, but I liked that as well. Maybe the most interesting thing I’ve read from Slave Labor that wasn’t all ages and was never collected into a book would’ve been Jon Lewis’ series Ghost Ship. I also like the issues I’ve read of Bernie Mireault’s The Jam, which ran at multiple publishers, and I would like to read more of.)

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transannabeth · 4 years

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hi! you’ve modded zines (and/or big bangs?) before, right? i have an idea similar to a multi-animator project, and was wondering if you had any tips/advice when putting something like that together and managing all those people, esp over the internet. thanks, hope you’re doing well!

i’ve modded zines, secret santas, and fandom weeks!!! and i’d be happy to give some advice! a lot of this is stuff i’ve learned from zines, but i think could be applicable to this too! the advice may vary depending on the size of your project (are you organizing 5 people or 45, you know?) but hopefully there’s something useful here!

from the jump, have your socials ready!

(note: by ‘from the jump’ i mean after the interest check, but having everything prepped before if you KNOW you’re going through with it won’t hurt! please just change it from the default theme no one likes that)

tumblr and twitter should be your mains, but instagram might not hurt. the more cohesive you can make your handles, the better (same with your email) because people will recognize you cross platform, and also it looks professional. i also recommend having the same icon everywhere for recognizability!

in line with that, for at least tumblr, find a decent theme. if you’re not sure what kind to use, click through some zine blogs! see what info they have and how their pages are set up. prominently featured are usually a schedule and faq— make sure your asks and dms are open on all sites and there are clear areas for contacting you!

(linking your personal accounts is also important because people like to see your own work and if you’ve done projects like this before— which i’ll get to)

trust me, the more professional, clean, and put together, the more seriously people will take you. your job is managing this, so your socials should reflect that!

you don’t have to have a hard schedule off the bat, especially in a multi-animator projects, many of which i’ve seen go very off schedule, but having a tentative schedule is important because then people know if they can make time for it or not

mods!!!!! if you can find other mods oh my god THAT!! friends are good if you want at least one person you know, but opening mod apps is great because you can find people with experience in areas you might not have. ESPECIALLY if this is your first time running a project like this i’d recommend at least one mod with some experience, because it’s always nice to have others to help you out and people like knowing someone on the team has experience! mods are such an important support team for the head admin and can really change how a project is handled

for both mod apps and regular apps check out event boosting blogs! one off the top of my head is @faneventshub, but if your project is fandom specific, you might have a fandom event blog as well that tracks stuff like this!

use discord for the project!! discord is literally a godsend for this sort of thing! it puts all (or most) of your contributors in one place and gives you immediate contact to them if needed. how you set up your server is up to you, but typically i have channels for general stuff, rules, schedule, introduction, questions, sharing stuff, and art/content creation. i also create a whole mod section that’s locked, with different channels depending on the project. plus you can pin stuff which is fantastic

Keep Everything In One Place— everything should go to the project’s google drive. all check-ins, all final files, all process stuff, all spreadsheets. that way you’re never hunting for things in other places

and finally managing everyone

spreadsheets are your friends!!! you don’t need to know any fancy excel stuff, just list everyone’s name and make columns for their discord id, all the check-ins, and if they’ve submitted their final file (or however you’d like to do it). i like color coding things but really it’s just whatever is the easiest way for YOU to quickly see at a glance where everyone is at the moment

make sure your timeline is clear, but slightly flexible, and at least early on, give people extensions if asked for. things happen! especially right now, where everything can be super up in the air

remind people a few days before check-ins, dm those who aren’t responding or checking-in, and as daunting as it is, don’t be too afraid to @everyone

having multiple mods is also super helpful here, because you can tackle dm-ing different people and contacting people and everything, without it all being on you

and also? know you’ll probably get ghosted. you’re probably going to have some drops. some that might be super super late in the game. things will probably get off schedule and there are going to be some frustrating times. but you can do this!!!!

good luck!!! i hope something in here was useful!! and i definitely want to see this project when you’re done

#THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG #answered #zine talk #(sort of)#not pjo #Anonymous #Thanks from the Argo!#zine anon

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reblogthiscrapkay · 4 years

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The Myth of Persephone in “Mythic” The Musical

Most of these Persephone Project posts are for books or chapters of books so it’s always exciting and mildly anxiety-inducing to encounter a visual medium to write about. I’ve only done one musical in these Persephone Project write-ups and that was for my favorite musical, Hadestown. Now the myth of Persephone is underlying in that musical, which is part of what made writing about it a unique experience and I eventually expanded and edited my original write-up for the Hadestown Zine. But then my buddy Suzi told me about this musical. It took me a while to work up the nerve to listen to it as it’s a teen pop rock musical version of the myth of Persephone. If you couldn’t tell from me saying Hadestown is my favorite musical, I should say that teen musicals are not really my thing. I think “Heathers” is the only one I would cite as really liking. I wasn’t even into teen musicals when I was a teen. But in the interest of post consistency, I’m going to divide this into two parts: one where I specifically talk about the way the myth is done and one where I just talk about the show. The Myth In this version of the myth we get a lot of interesting character development for Persephone and Demeter that is happening concurrently throughout the show. Because of the “teen musical” concept the main theme is heavy on the ideas of growing up, finding one’s place in the world, and accepting your children’s adulthood.

To zero in on Persephone first, we find out somewhat repeatedly throughout the first three songs that she has lived her whole life on Earth and hasn’t really met the other gods but is motivated by a desire to find a place where she feels like she belongs. We get the sense that she feels smothered by her mother, a bit superfluous next her mother, and that while she’s okay with her life she hasn’t seen enough of the world to feel like she’s sure she wants to stay where she is. She wants her own purpose basically. The idea of shifting a focus to Persephone and giving her these motivations gets an A+ from me and is obviously a common feature of modern adaptions of the myth (I think this is most comparable to George O’Connor’s Hades comic).

She bumps into Aphrodite and convinces her to take her to a party Zeus is throwing for Athena (Aphrodite and Zeus are main characters numbers 4 and 5, by the way, and have their own motivations that I will get to). Seph says some not at all nice things to her mother before she leaves when Demeter tries to stop her. At the party Persephone doesn’t really have much fun and bumps into Hades who has come to yell at Zeus about a surplus of virgins in the Underworld. They chit chat a bit, she tells him he’s nice and he denies it, but this is an establishing of their chemistry. Another common trope in modern retellings: having them meet before going under.

Aphrodite then decides she wants to “stir shit up” and plans to do that by getting Hades to hook up with her. He shoots her down and as revenge she curses him to kiss Persephone (who I think is also cursed because she goes from “wow, my first kiss” to “take me to bed” in literally twenty seconds). Now the idea of their relationship starting from a love god’s influence is an interesting detail that is uncommon but certainly not unheard of. Ovid did it as was the case with Allison Shaw’s Persephone comic but I think both of those used Eros instead of Aphrodite. Either way, the force of their passion (or like, the force of Hades’ horniness at this point) leads to them going underground and Aphrodite is immediately sorry for what she did. We get this unique detail about how spells are broken underground which I’ve never heard before but kind of organically makes sense. Like, why would earth/sky god magic have any effect in the land of the dead? It works.

Once underground, they break apart and get awkward. I haven’t really addressed it yet but the interpretation of Hades in this one has elements I have never seen. First of all, his primary motivation in this one is just to be left alone. Persephone asks him to take her home and he tells her he can only go above ground once every six months. This six months rule I have really never heard of but I guess it does set the audience up for six months being an important concept later on and provides a reason for him to not help her. I mean, that reason could have been a lot of other things but it’s a reason. He then tells her to just go away and stay out of trouble and when they meet up later he apologizes for getting her stuck down there but basically says there’s nothing he can do. Overall, his characterization at this point reads as someone who is trying very hard to be perceived a certain way (a “deep, dark damaged soul”) but is actually just kind of socially awkward and not in any way bad.

Alone Persephone basically decides to go around sprucing up the Underworld through interactions with Charon, Ascalaphus, and Minos. Hades gets annoyed about it (annoyance is kind of his primary emotion) and after he thinks about locking her up over it, they have a heart-to-heart about his daddy issues and this reputation he never wanted. It’s kind of their starting to fall in love moment. Persephone then gets attacked by furies and Hades saves her. They have another actually falling in love moment where Persephone convinces him that the Underworld is actually kind of great and he believes her.

This should clinch things for their relationship but then Aphrodite shows up in the Underworld to try to fix things (a thing that definitely never happens and also kind of can’t) and Hades tells Persephone to go with her because he seems convinced that his feelings are still a part of the spell or something. Persephone refuses and basically tells him off that she likes it here and runs away. Then she chooses to eat the pomegranate mostly for personal reasons but one seed is definitely for “the guy I love”. The whole interaction is curiously hostile. It leaves me in this weird place of wondering if I should even be supporting this relationship.

After eating, Demeter shows up (again, a thing she probably can’t do) and she and Persephone make up and offer some tearful goodbyes since Persephone can’t leave now. Hades comes after hearing about the seeds, apologizes, offers to make her Queen of the Dead, and they kiss or something. Then Aphrodite and Zeus show up (WTF) for some Zeus Ex Machina that doesn’t work. Persephone gives Demeter back her powers since she’s Queen, which she lost going underground I guess because of the established curse rule but it’s kind of flimsy, and Demeter sets the six months rule since she is the maker of fruit anyway. While this ending feels sloppy in a lot of ways, I like the idea that Persephone and Demeter did these things for each other. I just wish Demeter’s decision didn’t come off so self serving and this probably could have been solved with a tip from, of all things, the Hercules: The Legendary Journeys interpretation where Persephone says outright that she doesn’t want to be forced to chose between them. At least it’s better than Zeus setting the rule, which is how it is in basically every other telling (except like, Hadestown).

In Demeter’s concurrent plot, her primary motivation is find Persephone, of course, but to do this she has to get over this fact that everyone thinks of her as a lesser goddess without any real power. This was really strange to me, but that set up does pay off. She takes down a cyclops, confronts Zeus (a thing from most myths!), and then destroys the crops on hearing what happened to Persephone (also good). So her story is actually fairly in line with a lot of myth retellings except for this inferiority thing. Where does this come from? Well, that’s where her plot rubs up against Zeus (and also Aphrodite and implicitly Hades). Zeus’ primary motivation is to stay in charge and part of how he does this is by belittling everyone else. The Act 2 reveal for Demeter is that Zeus was lying about her weakness, and she’s only been operating on half a tank forever. Effectively, Zeus is the antagonist of the story. Kind of interesting since in a lot of versions of this myth, Zeus approving Hades suit of Persephone or alternatively offering Persephone to him, is the catalyst to the rest of the story, but this is seen as a neutral thing.

Overall, there were some interesting choices in adapting this myth to a musical for a teen audience. I feel like the Demeter plot works really well and that the Persephone plot works pretty well too. The problem I have is with how the Hades and Persephone aspect of this story is handled. It has a lot of great notes to it, but it doesn’t really come together because of the need for frequent denials and a sort of uncomfortableness with Hades character. From a strict story perspective, the concept of Hades and how his relationship to Seph develops is one of the weakest things about the book.

So that leads me to... The Musical

This musical is, uh, kind of a mess.

As I said before, the ending is really sloppy and the book handles Hades’ character and his relationship with Persephone really poorly. Aside from eliminating or reframing some of those million times he denies her, I think the musical could have really benefited from a song or a dialogue scene where Hades is the main character. Persephone and Demeter have really well developed motivations and personalities because they have a lot of moments where they are speaking more to themselves than anyone else and we can see what they really think and feel. Aphrodite gets a few moments of this in act one and a whole song (that I dislike so much I can’t even listen to it) in act two. Zeus has a whole song explaining his drive. But every Hades song is in the context of him speaking to Persephone with the exception of a very brief moment in “Summer All The Time” where we get an initial vibe for who he is. A moment in act two when we can actually see his real thoughts and feelings towards Persephone would do a lot for making their relationship (and maybe even his denials of her) make sense. I really like the two songs they have together but the utility of those songs is different from actually showing what Hades really feels.

There are other weird book issues, the relationships between Zeus, Hades, and their father springs to mind, but I gotta move on.

To talk a bit more about the music and lyrics, this musical has a lot of cringe. Like, a lot. I have a whole document of the cringiest lines in it and it’s much longer than my lists of “ridiculous but great” lines and “just great” lines. There are so many failed attempts at being hip that I physically cringe when I listen to the soundtrack and after 20+ times I’m still cringing. I get that it’s directed at a teen audience, but I work with teenagers. I know they would cringe with me. The lyrics that aren’t cringe have a tendency to be kind of trite or unmemorable. I think Demeter’s songs are the least cringe, but they’re also some of the least interesting musically. The music overall is kind of blandly enjoyable really. The songs are fun mostly and I do really like some of them (”My Own Place In The Pantheon” is cute, “Mess Around” makes me want to dance, “Dark, Damaged Soul” is so cringe that it loops back around to fun pop punk, “Rebellious Children” makes me laugh, and both “Not A Chance In Hell” and “Beauty In The Darkness” give me some feelings) but none are a brilliant work that I would send to my non-musical friends as purely a good song.

So about the acting and singing. Well, let me be clear that I did not see either the London or the Montreal productions (although tragically I think the London production was running at a time I was in London and Montreal is a long but not in any way unreasonable drive from my house so I’m not pleased to discover this musical so late). My opinion is based on the London soundtrack and an audio bootleg of the Montreal show (which is how I know all the dialogue bits too).

I think London Persephone has a better voice but Montreal Persephone makes better acting choices (pitches her voice down a bit so she sounds a bit more mature, reads lines in much more reasonable ways, etc).

Both Demeters are good singers but I think Montreal Demeter makes better acting choices. She feels more authentically Demeter to me by mitigating the coward aspects of London Demeter.

Between Hadeses there is no contest. I love London Hades’ voice. As a Hadestown fan I was skeptical of a tenor Hades but his voice has this very beautiful sound in the lower notes (he doesn’t sound like Michael Arden but Michael Arden’s voice also has this quality and I love it) and it’s very powerful and he has just the right vibe to sell it. Montreal Hades has a very reedy voice and overall gives off a distinct whiny teen vibe that is just all wrong. Young Hades I am totally fine with in a story like this but he has to be mature to compensate.

Both Aphrodites are great. The character of Aphrodite is a type, and I’m fairly certain you will always be able to find a good Aphrodite.

The Zeus situation is weird because the interpretations of Zeus are wildly different in both productions. London Zeus has a nasally voice and a kind of guido look and vibe that I think works great. He’s really slimy. I feel like he’s going to pull out a wad of cash to make someone sleep with the fishes. Montreal Zeus is more big personality gospel singer and is styled accordingly. It doesn’t feel right for the character as written but it’s a fully integrated performance.

For our minor Underworld characters, they were all male in London but Montreal made Ascalaphus and Minos women, which I wholly cosign but I think Minos should have been an alto. Also Alecto is in it but male which is weird because Alecto is female. She’s a fury. Basically they genderbent everyone but Charon, I guess. Okay.

If you’ve got a choice of which to listen to (like if you have a Montreal hook-up) I still say go with London overall. It’s on YouTube.

So finally, I’m going to talk about the aesthetic. Both shows seemed to have really minimalist sets, which I’d kind of have to see in action to understand. It seems like an odd choice but it might just be a cost effective one. Every image from London looks more like a concert than a show (by product of the success of Six, maybe?) but the Montreal shots look a bit more “acting-y.”

As for costumes, oh boy. Let me present an image of our mains from London:

So let me ignore the obvious for a second to say that Demeter in both shows is very hippie and Aphrodite is always blonde and wearing some kind of shiny silver thing. Both of these things work. The Zeus’ as I said before are very different but tailored to the performance being given.

Now, um

A list of responses from my musical-going and myth-aware friends about this picture: * That is NOT THEM. * Oh no. * Looks like the costume designer was really inspired by American Idiot. * This takes me right back to high school in 2003. For the reference this is Persephone’s underworld look specifically but since her above ground look is a black t-shirt, jean shorts, fishnet tights, and Converse it’s not much of a change. I think both shows adopt this idea that the Underworld changes your wardrobe.

This mid-2000s pop punk styling is just a weird choice all around (although you could argue that Hades is actually more classic punk while Persephone is very specifically mid-2000s but still). On a more minor note, what’s with the hair? I mean there’s nothing saying you can’t have a blonde Persephone but why do this when you already have two other blondes in the main cast? Usually Persephone is a redhead or has brown hair and that would have been nice. With Hades hair I don’t even know what to say aside from why? I’m not going to say that Hades should only have dark, grey, or white hair depending on age (I’m gonna think it though) but this was a really curious choice. Also, the facial hair. Is that a John Waters mustache or am I losing my mind?

Montreal did a lot better here.

Hades’ look is solid. I like the warlock coat and how it’s kind of a fast track to intimidating. I like how without it he’s kind of at an intersection of art student and goth. It’s all good. I don’t even mind the hair because at least it’s not silly.

Persephone’s look is fine. I’m a little ruined by my friend pointing out that her above ground outfit is really 70s, but I’m trying to forget it. It’s better; I didn’t say it was the best they could do. Her underworld look is a great idea but that dress looks really unflattering to me. Maybe something like a black leather-y obi belt would really improve the shape and bring a bit more underworld to the look. Not sure what’s going on in the middle picture unless she has two underworld outfits but it looks fine. The barrettes were definitely a choice. Was flowers too obvious? Flowers would be better.

Also, Ascalaphus is adorable.

So in conclusion, someone hire me to red pen this musical so it can be good enough to continue its life after covid. I have a special place in my heart for flawed musicals that need a good red penning.

#the persephone project #persephone #hades #mythic #mythic the musical #musicals #demeter #personal

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rentfreecat · 4 years

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Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Recs

so yeah I figured I should get around to making a list of some of my faves to promote them, I’ve got a big enough collection of bookmarks now. in no particular order. not all of them are necessarily complete or alive

Final Fantasy VII

The Gold Saucer’s Golden Arches by belderiver

Before he doomed the world to ash and ruin, Sephiroth wanted a burger.

note: Sephiroth + sudden hunger pang = mcgold

Meetings by Yinza

Aeris reflects on her few encounters with Sephiroth over the years since her escape from the lab.

note: Aerith having known Sephiroth before is just one of my favorite headcanons

lather, rinse, repeat by annperkinsface

She knows she shouldn't confuse this act of kindness for anything else, but it's hard, when Aerith is draping a towel over her shoulders, when Aerith is warm at her back, humming as she works a thick lather across her hands.

note: adorable Aerti. Aerith being a weirdo. Tifa blushing and being kinda horny. perfect. in case you couldn’t tell I ship it.

In Circles by Larissa

Tifa hates Midgar, and yet she stays, and she stays, and she stays.

Character study/pre-game gap-filler. Written for the Tifa Zine.

note: beautiful mood piece

the nodding golden tansy by Kieron_ODuibhir

“You think this troubles me?”

“Yes,” said Cloud, without looking up from his tea.

note: one of my fave takes on Seph and Cloud’s relationship. wonderfully quiet and melancholy.

not one before another by Kieron_ODuibhir

1) Sephiroth almost corrected the first person who called Aerith his sister, a woman they’d met before they were even out of Midgar’s slums complimenting him on taking such good care of her, while their mother shopped.

2) The other half of Project S took after their father.

3) Blue eyes contemplated him narrowly for several seconds, and then Genesis’ smirk came back, lying on his face more easily, somehow. “So brothers-in-arms to the skirmish shall we hence?”

4) It felt wrong to be relying on anybody but Mother, but Mother…only cared about Sephiroth, and it wasn’t fair. Loz sniffled. “Will she take care of Yazoo, too?”

5) “I’m glad he’ll have a big brother,” she said, as Sephiroth crossed the room. “Little ones always need someone looking out for them.”

Sephiroth nodded, and bent forward, and peered at the squashed little pink thing until it stirred, objecting probably to cool air on its face. “What’s his name?”

“Cloud."

(Five times in five worlds where Sephiroth was somebody's brother, and one where he wasn't anymore.)

note: exactly what it sounds like. personal fave is 4.

Angels Still Have Faces by Kieron_ODuibhir

On the fourth day, Sephiroth looked out a window and spotted his two friends together on one of the outdoor training fields, once again exchanging harsh words, only for Angeal to wheel around and storm off at the end.

note: fics where someone other than the main character time-travels are amazing and this is that and also outsider pov mother bear Sephiroth who doesn’t know what pizza is

Final Fantasy IX

puppet play by zalzaires

starting a drabble collection for ffix. i mostly just write about kuja so hence the name.

note: my personal fave is "curtains, bookends, stars of the show” because Kuja is such so... Kuja in there

Final Fantasy XV

ffucc the wedding by Givethemtriumphnow

Gift for Victortor, inspired by their fabulous ffucc Universe.

Noctis and Luna are the same person, one soul split into two bodies.

In a world where everyone lives and nothing hurts, the wedding is still a symbol of the peace, and the show must go on. Noct and Luna just can’t wait for what comes afterwards: the Big Reveal.

note: I just really like the one person two body trope okay? pretty entertaining read!

Poor Wayfaring Stranger by lithos_saeculum

Out on a mission, Cor Leonis finds a teenager, lost and sick and partway to becoming an MT. Against the advice of all and sundry, he brings him back to Insomnia. There's not a lot of love lost for MTs in the Citadel, but some of its inhabitants may still be young enough to put aside their prejudices.

note: also on my list of likes is MT Prompto trope, and honestly fuck canon that’s just there for inspiration. TW for implied pedophilia and stranger danger in one of the later chapters.

Will You Be There, Standing at the End of the War by Adel Mortescryche (Mortescryche)

When they're attacked by the Imperial Forces at Tenebrae, Regis wasn't prepared to be rescued alongside Noctis, Lunafreya and Ravus by the Commanding General of the enemy forces. Not after the man already cut Sylva down before them.

He was even less prepared for the face lying in wait behind the mask.

He dropped down to one knee, and rather pointedly cupped the left side of Drautos’ head, delicate, making no move to actually hide the fury raging through him.

“Talk, Titus.” Regis whispered. “Before I take this airship down from the sky.”

note: Drautos time-travels and is an absolute bastard. I like seeing his and Regis’s exchanges!

For Want of a Flan by magicgenetek

For want of some patience, Ifrit never freed Ardyn from Angelgard to rebel against the Astrals.

For want of Ardyn, Nifleheim never invented MT Troopers.

For want of MT Troopers, Lunafreya and Ravus were able to escape with Regis, and Nifleheim never cornered Lucis in their war.

For want of a kidnapping, Luna, Noctis and Prompto were able to work together to get ready for the prophecy, and Ravus is ready to suplex an Astral to make sure someone survives the prophecy.

For want of separation, the four of them go to Angelgard to figure out what secrets lay there, and accidentally adopt Ardyn into their plans to save the world.

For want of 2000 years’ prep time, Ardyn’s going to have to get up to speed on the modern world fast if he wants revenge or to fulfill his half of the prophecy.

note: has a good deal of worldbuilding and linguistics nerdery. I like that. I also like the recovery element of Ardyn’s arc.

A Little More Time by Asidian

The sun is brilliant overhead – set in a blue sky dotted with clouds that float like wisps of spun sugar through the high arc of the heavens.

It's more than lovely. It's entrancing, and Noctis takes one long, final look before he turns his gaze back earthward. His vision dances with sunspots for a moment, afterimages from the blinding light – but when it clears, Noctis sees a small black dog there, patient and watchful as always.

Umbra has been waiting.

"Alright," Noctis says. "We're ready to go back."

note: short, punchy, and absolutely chilling

Eschaton by nirejseki

Sure, it's the end of the world, but that just means someone's got to fix it.

And then the world found its somebodies.

(aka, with Noctis gone into the Crystal and no one sure when he'll be back, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto end up saving the world one piece at a time)

note: I like worldbuilding and MTs alright? and schoolteacher Gladio will never not be funny/great

Astra Inclinant by thekindmagic

“Look,” Aranea laughs, shaking her head. “I’m not trying to shit on your destiny. But the way I see it? A lot of the time, there’s no big mystery. You either keep going, or you don’t.”

note: how could I not rec femslash? beautiful melancholy mood. I’m so sad for Luna

Starlight and Shadow by ohmyfae

While Noctis and his friends are setting up camp, Ardyn Izunia happens to accidentally stumble onto the runes of their haven. The magic of the haven pulls him into two halves; One is Ardyn, a small child with a bit of an ego and a limited knowledge of the world at large, and the other is the Scourge, shambling and groundless, determined to seek out its former host and consume the light it finds there.

note: fun read!

On the Care and Keeping of Prompto by ohmyfae

Congratulations! You have been chosen to ensure the well-being of PROMPTO, who is: 1. An absolute darling. 2. Of more intrinsic value than you, your significant other, your ancestors, and the world at large. 3. Two years and four months old 3a. This is very important to remember 4. Behind you.

note: also a very fun and fluffy read! also the fic that introduced me to the amazing crackship of Ardyn and Cor, and I say crackship but... I want more of it

Kingdom Hearts

The Price of Melodrama by LawnNinja

Xemnas never imagined that one of the hardest parts of his plan would be the stupid names.

note: deny it all you wish but you know this happened. also XULORD

(i don’t need you to) Worry for Me by Cygna_hime

In a fit of defiance and desperation, Vanitas disobeys his Master's orders and goes looking for the missing half of his heart. He finds it, and something else as well, something he never expected to find anywhere...

note: I absolutely love this I’ve read this like... 3 or 4 times? go read it now

Bleeding Heart by keelahselai

Xemnas was fundamentally a bad person. Born from the fracture of Xehanort's heart, he had only caused pain to those he banded together with under the promise of finding a way to return all their hearts. He shattered the Organization he'd founded for his own gain, and he understood this with cool indifference. But beneath everything, carefully kept folded away and hidden from Xigbar's prying eye, he was also made from the other inhabitant of Apprentice Xehanort's body. And as troubling as it could be to their plan, he kept it hidden from all.

(Or, how Terra managed to keep his head above the water for thirteen years)

note: I absolutely love the.. I don’t know what it’s called, but let’s say Terramas even though that sounds like a ship name... I absolutely love that trope. this one has such just a great mood y’know?

By Choice or Chance by Six_Piece_Chicken_McNobody

Lazy afternoons are a universal phenomenon.

note: I just love Xehaqus’s tragedy. this is nice, fluffy, and one of them is going to murder the other in his own selfish lust for power. (I know III said Xehanort had other motivations but I just love the “he’s such an utter bastard that all his relationships are going to end disastrously” interpretation)

Whatever Will Be by NanakiBH

Once I tell you the words I've been unable to say, it will be goodbye.

note: more explicitly melancholy mood than last one, still great.

#fanfic recs #final fantasy vii #final fantasy ix #final fantasy xv #kingdom hearts

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sir-severance · 5 years

Text

connective tissue - mlandersen0

this is my piece for the fantastic Slenderverse Zine (2019). this was a pleasure to write, and i am honoured to have been a part of such a wonderful project. you can check out the zine here, and read this fic on AO3 here.

a quick disclaimer - i hope it's quite clear that i do not support the views which the character Shaun Andersen expresses in this fic. this is an exploration into mental health stigma, the entitlement of neurotypicality and the damage which can come about from both sides of any relationship within which someone is suffering because of mental illness. i am not interested in any discourse. please take this fic for what it is, and if you disagree, feel free to write your own. likewise, please heed the content warnings.

thanks, and i hope you enjoy <3

cws: mental health, mental illness, ableism, sickness, anxiety, depression, blood, twins, abuse, therapy, gore, terror, horror

Shaun’s parents often address him in the same breath as talking about Michael, as if the two are immutably connected, their meaning solely defined by virtue of each not being the other. But the parental Andersens could not always retain this facade of equality in front of their youngest child. No, Shaun found the documents when he was ten, long after Michael’s departure.

At the time, the words he found staggered him with polysyllabic ambiguity:

Monochorionic.

Parasitic.

Anemic.

But one phrase unfurled its roots and lodged itself into the squishy whorls of his brain.

The night of the discovery, little Shaun Andersen ran screaming into his parents’ bedroom, tears and terror marring his face the way fresh understanding of horror always does. When his mother hushed Shaun, held him close and begged him to explain what was wrong, the boy’s answer made the colour flood from her face.

All too soon, Shaun found himself confronted with yet more walls: walls so staggeringly bleached that, to Shaun, the paint served not as a reminder of cleanliness, but of spores and fungi and bacteria, swelling into turgid contaminants ready to burrow through his skin and pick his bones clean.

“Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome,” the therapist reads from her notes. She smiles at Shaun, with too many teeth. “Where did we hear such big words, hm?”

Shaun keeps quiet. In the time since Michael left, the value of silence impressed its qualities upon him. The art of disquiet is something everyone knows about, but few possess the gall to produce. Shaun maintains fixed eye contact with the therapist, while revelling in the security offered by his glasses. There’s a plastic quality to her dimples: an artificial construction of pleasantry that only a child could see through.

She doesn’t care about you.

Shaun believes there’s relief for both of them when the light goes out of her eyes.

“It’s okay, Shaun,” the therapist says. Her voice quavers noticeably. “I think you’re a very smart boy. You’d like me to tell you the truth, wouldn’t you?”

I think you want to tell me the truth and not have to deal with me, Shaun thinks. The therapist continues on regardless:

“Sometimes, when people have babies, things can go wrong. The baby might come out sick, or a bit different.”

The therapist watches him for a response. Shaun tries his best not to blink. Her mouth twitches.

“When a mom has a baby inside, the baby gets their food from an organ called the placenta. It’s kind of like a phone charger — it gets plugged in to the wall of the mommy’s tummy, and when she eats, nutrients from the food are transferred to the baby. These nutrients are transferred by blood. Do you understand?”

You’re talking to me like I’m an idiot. This doesn’t feel professional at all, is what Shaun Andersen understands. How old does she think I am?

“With twins, sometimes they share one placenta, instead of having one each. And sometimes, blood gets passed between the twins.” Her face creases, like she’s recalling something unpleasant. “This can mean that one twin doesn’t get enough blood — they’re called the ‘donor’ twin — and the other gets too much blood, making them the ‘recipient’ twin.”

The therapist actually looks away before going on, and Shaun is sure it has more to do with practiced decency than genuine upset.

“Michael received the blood your other brother didn’t get.”

It sounds like she’s reading from a script. Maybe she prepared this. Wanted to scare me and take me off guard so she can get into my head. I’m not going to say a damn thing. Fuck her.

“I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did, Shaun.” The therapist’s mouth twists in a grim approximation of sympathy. “But it’s just a fact of life.”

A fact of life that Michael devoured his twin in the womb.

It’s only now that he’s in some lightless attic, face-down on the floor with his skin prickled against the cold, that this wash of memories coats Shaun with their accusatory foam. There’s a peculiar, pickling scent prodding at his gag reflex; this room reeks of mold and misery. It’s as if the air itself is frothing from an unseen mouth. For Shaun, this triggers a memory encased in nausea. A taste identical to the sour pills the therapist gave him that day spills onto his palate: anti-anxiety medication.

Shaun vomited the first batch he took, so he ceased taking them all together. Instead, he replaced each pill in his medication box with chalky, pastel candy, and made a big show of swallowing one in the morning and one in the evening.

He’s just like Michael, really. As long as there are witnesses, he’ll put on a show.

Splinters impale the meat of Shaun’s mouth, and sawdust cakes his tongue. He hacks and coughs, and writhes on the floor. His knees manage to find purchase in the gloom, but his muscles tremble and quiver with the effort of kneeling. He’s been bashed and bruised, dragged carelessly and tossed aside like a used rag. Tenderised meat before the slaughter.

And Michael’s going to be the same.

Shaun’s breath pulses out in panicked bursts. He can just about see his exhalations curling away in the freezing cold. No, he can’t be this weak — he must shove it back, quash the feeling. He’s worth more than this. If he goes back on the things he said to Michael now — horrible, hateful things — then he’ll never be able to live with himself.

So Shaun breathes steadily, working his way around the anxiety attack the way his therapist never showed him. As his heart rate steadies and adrenaline drops, all that energy and fear circumvents his guts, and heads a frontal assault on his brain. This leads to a conclusion burning through his mind with perfect clarity

This is all Michael’s fault.

Shaun never knew the name for whatever disease ravaged his brother’s mind. Not that he ever asked. The less he knew about Michael’s... abnormalities, the better. He remembers phrasing it that way to his parents, when he finally said no to another trip to see the remains of their estranged son.

Each week flowed the same way: stilted conversation between siblings, and pained platitudes from their parents. All meaningless little words of encouragement deliberately skipping over the elephant in the room — or, rather, the room containing the elephant, with its queasy walls and claustrophobic bars on the windows. No one in there ever used words like crazy or sick — in fact, they gave you a sheet of words to refrain from using when in the presence of the patients. All the relatives and guests of the inmates were expected to behave in this fashion.

This nauseated Shaun. He knew his brother was still in there. And he knew better than anyone how Michael liked to play his little games.

Regardless, Shaun tried his best to make Michael talk, and find something recognisable in the muddy depths of his eyes. But every visit, the dark deepened. No matter how many toys he tried to share, no matter how many stories he’d try to tell, and no matter how many times he affirmed to Michael that they were best friends and one day he’d get out of the hospital so they could play again... he stayed the same.

The final straw comes one dismal, rainy Friday afternoon. Shaun and his dad sit next to each other, opposite Michael with a table acting as barrier between them, saying nothing.

An aide took them both aside before they entered the main facility, and explained that Michael is being trialed on another type of medication. The visit is going as miserably as the weather foretold.

Michael looks barely human. Something is altered in the familiar shape of his body, like a bent coat hanger hastily reformed into an approximation of its original structure. The older Andersen brother slumps back in his chair, his skin several shades whiter than the wall behind him. His mouth is cracked with dehydration, and his hair is tangled with sleeplessness and grease. But worst of all are his eyes. They sit listless and devoid of comprehension, with blank pupils gazing aimlessly at his family, through them, and beyond them. A candle snuffed out before shrinkage of the wick.

Shaun remembers the emptiness of his therapist’s eyes. The glee in outwitting her. The pleasure of looking into those sad, brown depths.

There is no joy in peering into Michael’s skull.

Without warning, Shaun’s temper seizes him with all the ferocity a young boy’s hormones could. He slams his clenched fist down on the table, rattling metal. All conversation in the room ceases, a veil of corpselike silence.

Michael, however, doesn’t react. He doesn’t even acknowledge the sound.

The words jump from Shaun’s mouth like oil from a sizzling pan, murderous in their venom.

“You’re such a freak.”

Before the aides can reach him, Shaun’s dad grabs him by the shoulder and yanks him out of the room, into the hallway. Shaun can tell he’s furious, but there’s so much anger pumping through his blood that he just doesn’t care. He needs to do something, anything, to puncture the film over Michael’s eyes. Anything to make him so much as flinch.

But Michael remains unaffected.

As expected, the facility removes them both immediately, and Shaun is given a one-month visitation ban. This doesn’t bother Shaun in the slightest — in fact, he feels victorious, and righteous in his fury. There’s no way he’s coming back. Not this time. Michael squandered his last chance.

Even so, he’ll never forget his last view of that room, before his father pulls him away.

Tears spilling freely down Michael’s stony face.

From then on, the pre-trip talk with his parents is a minefield to navigate. They try so hard to make everything light and cheery, to speak about Michael like he’s still a part of their family, but Shaun overhears them speaking about their visits when they think he’s not listening. Now, more often than not, Michael’s arms are bound throughout their visits. Other times, they’re only able to converse with their son from behind a pane of tough glass.

Sometimes, they came home early.

‘Oh, Mikey’s feeling a touch under the weather today,’ their mother chirps. ‘But he says he misses you lots and lots!’

Her happy tone belies the true quality of their visit. It doesn’t matter. Shaun never asks for further details. Eventually, Shaun is old enough that his moods are ascribed to the terrors of puberty, and he is left to his own devices.

In retrospect, the seven years between Shaun’s Michael-detox and their first meeting as adults seems superfluous. The difference the years wrought upon Michael shocked Shaun.

Where once there existed a timid, chubby little kid with the brightest of smiles, now stood a gangly, hollow-looking man, with eyes like pits of coal. Though the corners of Michael’s mouth upturn upon seeing him, Shaun doesn’t register any warmth.

Somehow, this infuriates Shaun more than his brother’s tears ever could. He’d always assumed that even though his brother is older, Michael would remain the same size — adulthood somehow being barred for the mentally ill. Resentment boils away in Shaun’s stomach seeing how much taller his brother is, how clean-cut his features are. But this isn’t the thing which incenses Shaun the most.

It’s that, in those eyes, those chasmic clefts gouged out in his pale flesh, Shaun saw quiet patience.

Intelligence.

Forgiveness.

Just the mere hint of any kind of pity from his brother makes Shaun’s thoughts curdle with rage. How dare he be okay? He’s supposed to be sick! Isn’t that the whole reason why he got locked up in the first place?

Shaun knows these are irrational and angry thoughts, but would rather cut out his own tongue than internalise them as ‘unfair’. He slaved away the better part of his life playing second fiddle to his parents’ worry and concern, always visiting Michael, paying more attention to Michael... all while their favourite son plays the part of a theatre dummy.

So Shaun makes the decision there and then. He is under no obligation to take care of this man forced upon him by blood — but he will. He will be the most selfless, compassionate human being his brother has ever seen.

Then they’ll see who has the right to forgive.

The walls of the attic Shaun can’t see feel like they’re closing in on his aching body, dragging themselves closer with hidden, noiseless claws. If you hadn’t lied about seeing the Tall Man, he wouldn’t be as sick as he is, his thoughts hiss, and he thinks that the walls are growing mouths and speaking to him, indicting him, readying to pluck his head from his shoulders and smack it on a pike.

Yet, as his fear increases, tiny increments of light make themselves known in Shaun’s vision. Eventually, he’s able to zero in on a shape just out of each — something large and mostly crimson, with a long curved blade extending from its middle. Sickly, distended panic courses through Shaun like a white-hot fever when he recognises the shape.

It’s a fucking chainsaw.

The enormity of the situation crashes into his nervous system. He’s being laid out, prepped and ready for consumption. Oh God, he drugged me to tie me down and cut me open, and then he’s gonna go find Michael and do the same thing-

Keep it together! Express some reticence, for fuck’s sake. You’re not going to break down. You’re not going to give in. Michael’s the one who hurt you, kept hurting you, all this time. Without him, you would have a real family. A home. A future. Not biting the dust spilled on some dank basement.

The attic betrays nothing but the acrid stench of death. People have died here. People have been tied up and carved open like autopsy specimens, all for the gain of their sadistic owner. Shaun, despite his terror, continues to squint at the weapon.

You’re about to bite the dust anyway...

When Shaun sees the blood staining the steel, he screams.

Another flashbulb memory comes searing into his head: his brother’s wafer-thin form keeling over in the snow. That chokehold of panic throws Shaun into immediate action, forcing him to run and cradle the body of his brother. He’s so desperate and terrified, not knowing if this is really Michael, what this body could be capable of...

And yet Shaun grabs hold anyway, all grudges suddenly forgotten, and oh fuck it must be Patrick, because his nose is bleeding and his limbs are as heavy and wet as the white beneath their boots. Shaun hauls him the best he can, inwardly cursing his lack of strength, and as he drags Patrick over to the frozen table he can only pray his mental fortitude is made of stronger stuff.

“I came here to apologise.”

“Really.”

The sarcasm pours out of Shaun without a second thought, so heated it almost scorches the icy air. But there’s no way he could ever dam this wave of fury.

‘There’s still a lot you don’t know...’

It takes everything Shaun has to not to let his poker face flicker, but the rage beneath makes him want to seize Patrick by his lapels and bash him against a wall. How dare he. This freakshow of a bodysnatcher can’t even keep his brother’s body alive and well long enough to stand up while having a conversation, and yet has the nerve to patronise him?

Shaun hears, ‘I’m sorry for Stormy,’ as if from the other end of a tunnel. All that’s brewing in his head is the conundrum sitting in front of him. Two personalities, one body. They’re interchangeable now, one and the same. Twice the twin, half the skeleton. Michael, playing patient zero to a contagion which wrecks and wrings until bloodied flesh is all that’s left behind. Patrick, a disease forged in the womb and soaked into the being of a boy who could have been something different.

Should have been.

Never will be.

No one could reconcile the two but Shaun.

So it must be a sickness, an illness, a disease. And everything bad that ever comes from sweet Michael’s mouth is a result of his condition.

If that’s the case, is it so awful to want to be as far away from them — from him — as possible, whoever — and whatever — he is?

Patrick is only sharing the broken-down condo which remains of his brother’s body.

Taking back his stolen property.

And where does that leave Shaun?

As the unspoken martyr, of course.

There’s only so much room in my head for bullshit, Shaun seethes. I’m not going to live my life cleaning up after him — not for Michael or Patrick.

And that’s it - that’s the one thing that people never let him have. The realisation which hits upon their return to the motel, where Michael cowers beneath the words spat from Shaun’s molten mouth. He always possessed a thought process blessed by rapidity, but a tongue cursed to be silver. Shaun is nothing but a host to a panoply of pain as essential to him as his own veins.

As essential as the blood flowing between Michael, and the brother he never met.

When Shaun storms out into the cold, determined to be somewhere, anywhere that puts great distance between him and the entity Michael/Patrick Andersen, he feels the full force of the Virus, nesting, breeding, multiplying beneath his skin. There’s no room for guilt and worry and pain — just the cure.

To never be near his brother again.

When Shaun saw Patrick’s nose bleeding, he had to swallow back bile. He knew in an instant that their brother never left, not really. Once, connective tissue held the bonds of their brotherhood fast. The transfusion continues. The real question is — who is the donor, and who is the recipient?

Even his own family emphasised the importance of their blood-bond, unable to comprehend Shaun’s behaviour.

“He’s your brother, Shaun, and he needs your help,” his mom tells him one night, barely holding back the tears. “I know he can be difficult to deal with, but this isn’t his fault. He didn’t ask to be sick.”

And Patrick didn’t ask to die, Shaun wants to scream. No one blames Michael for cannibalism, do they?

Now he’s facedown in the wood, sawdust clinging to the hot streaks his tears leave behind, and that mortifying image which plagues his nightmares comes looming large from the recesses of his mind; two twin boys, floating without care in a shared amniotic sac, their umbilical cords respectively attached to the same fleshy hunk in lieu of a beating heart.

Shaun feels like his foetal never-brother. Severed. Shrink-wrapped in his own sac, the very thing keeping him alive. And then eventually swallowed whole.

It’s time for Shaun to cut the cord for good.

Why couldn’t you just be normal? The tears start for real now, fat and salty and rolling down Shaun’s face in a tempest. His internal monologue is louder now, drowning out the background noise of his softer (yet much more insidious) conscience.

Stormy would still be here if you weren’t so fucked up... I could have had a normal life if it weren’t for you...

There’s no time left for forgiveness. Because of Michael... Patrick... because Shaun willingly exposed himself to this pathogen again and again, he is going to die here, in this glacial attic, with no one around to know or care.

But, as the lights are turned off, and a dark, unfamiliar laughter fills his every sense, a set of horrid thoughts riot in the screeching crowd of his brain; the thoughts that could never quite be buried.

Michael didn’t know what he was doing... Michael didn’t know what he consumed…

Shaun once made the mistake of asking his mom what his other brother was going to be called.

No-one ever asks to be infected.

Shaun’s eyes shut against the darkness for the last time.

“I always liked the name Patrick.”

#mlandersen0 #the andersen journals #slenderverse #michael andersen #shaun andersen #patrick andersen #slenderversezine #quinnwrites

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clarinemarelika · 4 years

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Project 3

Zine Question and Answer

I had just finished doing further research about my topic and the questions that I have to answers for my zine. After more thoughts, I decided to change one question to allow a variation in the interview questions. Below are the questions and answers that made it to the final design in my zine.

Q1. First of all, Where and when did you come from?

Well first of all, we weren’t invented yet back then. We only came to this world only recently in 1980s. For us, we were first introduced to the society by the name of AARON. We existed because a group of computer engineer designed a paint program for a digital artist name Harold Cohen. However, this first digital paintbrush isn’t exactly what you readers think it is. It is not the same of how we do and look like now. It was first designed as a machine that will create large drawing on sheets of paper. It was not until 10 years later in 1990 when the digital paintbrush we all know (US, THE TWINS!) were introduced and released for everyone to use. Thanks to the technology that keeps on developing, artists now have the freedom to freely create their artwork anywhere they like.

As for the other paintbrushes,

I asked around and this is a summary of what they told me. The first ever paintbrushes that was first recorded in history dates back to 300 BC in the Qin Dynasty in China. Invented by Meng Tian, the original paintbrush was originally designed for caligraphy and writing with ink and was made with materials such as bamboo and fur of animals’ hair. It was not until the 1930s that paintbrush made its first debut in the Western culture, thanks to a Tuscan painter names Cennino Cennini. The history of paintbrush didn’t stop there, after it was first introduced, each country had its own materials to make the paintbrush with. For example, in Egypt, they use macerated weed fibre, in East Asia, they use feathers and in Europe and America, they use animal’s hair. Paintbrushes were developed throughout history to what we know and have now.

Q2. How has the art and design industry evolve?

As someone who witness and heard of the stories of how art and design has developed, I can say that there are major changes that can be seen throughout history. One reason being the development of new materials and equipment that allows artists to be able to express themselves more freely through art. This development leads you, to us! Digital paintbrushes! However, aside from that, the visual and meaning of each art that were made throughout history have also evolved ever since. If we look at the Palaeolithic era, we can see how your ancestors mostly drew things such as animals that are being hunted and also the human form itself. Same goes with another different era, take Ancient era for an example (3500 BC), they mostly draw things that are heavily influenced by law practices and religion of the country. Whereas now, the century we live in, people are now in the phase of contemporary art, where they focuses on modernism and the innovative way to represent and express art. In conclusion, each era that is recorded in history has its own individual job in creating the art industry unique and to what we know and see today. The way people think and express themselves adapt and evolve through what their current situtaion is like.

Q3. It seems like you as an object are involved with so many different fields from design to makeup. If you hadn’t been invented, What would the design world would look like?

Well if you want the obvious answer, the design world would have to stuck with using their hand or other alternatives materials such as a stick to create artwork. The paintings that were made by historical artists like the Monalisa, that was made by Leonardo Da Vinci or The Old Guitarist that was made by Pablo Picasso wouldn’t have existed in this world if paintbrush isn’t a thing for people to use.

If you look back about 40,000 years ago, you would know that our ancestors, or yours to be exact, they used stick and their own fingers as a way to express their feeling and message through art. And may I add that they didn’t even use canvas to paint on. They painted in a cave! They had to poke and dab each holes and lines that they wanted to make to create their artwork. In addition to that, they had other material alernatives, such as horse hairbrushes and blowing the paints using bone marrows to resemble airbrushes. Although brushes was known as one of the option of materials that they used, the quality of the brushes might not be as nice as what we have now and if it wasn’t made as an option, people who used to do cave painting can only use the other materials that they had.

How about us, the digital art brushes? Well, the designers before the 1980s survived without us! They used pencil and traditional art objects and material to create their design. Can’t you imagine your life without us? It would be so much harder for the designers to survive in the design world.

Q4. I know that you’ve been used by historically famous artists like Van Gogh, Leonardo Da Vinci and many more inspirational artists. How does it feel like to be apart of inspirational artists’ journey in the design/art industry?

Well, my sister and I obviously weren’t invented during that period where historical artists create a change for the society’s perspectives of art and design. We are however, involved with the design and artwork that are made in this century after we were invented and it makes us feel very honored to be apart of that process. I did asked our paintbrush ancestors or siblings as they liked us to hear us call them, and in summary, they said that they feel popular knowing that they’re involved in something that shape the history. They did say that the best part of being involved as a part of history is knowing different techniques each artists use. Each historical significant artitsts uses their own techiques to make their own artwork unique and resemble their own personality. For example, the techniques that is used by Van Gogh. Van Gogh uses bright and vibrant colours to apply his unique technique to each of his artwork. He used a flat brush that was loaded with two different thick paint colours on each sides of the brush to create the effect of having two colours side by side.

Q5. As a design object that is used by designers and artists throughout the world, from beginner to professional, you as an equipment for are constantly being used and bought. The prices aren’t always cheap either, What Influence do you have in the day to day life that allows some people to spend some money to be able to use you in their career?

I guess the more simple and straightforward answer is how they say the more expensive we are the better quality we tend to be. I guess that’s the main reason why many people would spend quite a bit money as an investment for art. For example, cheap art materials such s clay and paint, their durability might not be as long as products with a higher and more expensive prizes. Therefore buying materials that are cheap might be a waste of money since the durability is not a long time for other people from other future generations to be able to see your artwork throughout history. Aside from that, us as an art equipment , we have our own purpose and usage that allows us to differs from one another. Take us as an example, the both of us can’t quite resemble what one another do. One of us are meant for digital drawing in drawing apps whereas my twin is meant to edit and trace objects in Adobe apps. Due to our own individual role that helps artists to be a designer or a better artists, people tend to invest to reach the result they wanted.

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knyfanzine · 5 years

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INTEREST CHECK IS NOW CLOSED!

Thank you all for your interest in this zine! We had over 500 responses and we're so excited to announce that we're definitely more than ready to get this project going. Below are some of the questions that people had about the zine. If you have any other questions, feel free to send us an ask or email us!

Posting a bit more in the info of the zine would be helpful. Like is this one character per colour, or just monotone images?

Artists will be able to choose from one of 7 colors: Pink, Red, Orange, Yello, Green, Blue, and Purple. The illustrations will be using an analogous color scheme of one of the colors, but artists can feature other colors in their work so long as their main is clearly prominent.

Are AUs allowed in this zine ? I just wanted to know, thanks !

Absolutely! Artists can choose to illustrate AUs, canon-divergent, or canon content.

I am curious about how the colors will have to be displayed because CYMK is used for printing art and depending on the colors, can make the art's palette change in an unappealing way.

There is a soft proof that can be done in photoshop for people who uses photoshop! However, in the case that the artist does not use photoshop, Mod Jian will be more than happy to change the profile to CMYK (given the artist’s permission). From there, tweaks can be done so the vibrancy gets somewhat restored.

I'm a writer interested in writing for the zine, if writers will be included?

We have one writer that will be writing 7 proses for this project, one for each color!

Can you be more specific on your policy for the ships because it’ll be hard to tell people no after they draw a piece that’s too shippy that might make other people uncomfortable.

Artists can allude to a certain ship but their pieces aren't going to explicitly showcase it, e.g. through kissing. We have multiple check ins through the project. We hope that we don't need to do it but, if we feel that a piece is too explicit then we will discuss it with the artist.

Just wanted to ask if there is a set list of 28 characters you wanted covered vs letting it be completely up to the artist, and having multiples

We'll be leaving character choices primarily to the artists. If we feel that certain characters are being repeated, we will discuss it with the artists to make changes - though we hope we don't have to do this! (Our limit for the character repeating is 3 but other artists can utilize multiple characters in their piece so long as the character they chose is their focus). The limit for colors are also 4 artists per color.

I’ve never been in a zine before, so I hope this is good for beginners too!

Of course! You won't need previous zine experience to illustrate for this project. We want to welcome everyone and encourage them to apply, irrespective of working on zines before.

If chosen as artist, can we pick the characters we'd like to illustrate?

Once accepted you'll be notified of the color you'll be illustrating for. We'll be asking you to name 2 - 4 different characters that you're interested in illustrating and then assigning one to you - we will always try to get your first few choices, so you'll never be forced to illustrate a character you don't want to.

Is there a due date for artists? And if we do eventually get involved, would we only have to illustrate just canon characters or could we draw characters that we've created for the fandom?

We have multiple check ins from January to March. Our final deadline is March 21. All characters within this zine must be canon, featured within the anime series or the manga.

Please make sure to set a realistic schedule for artist to work on and that there is enough time between check-ins for artist to work on their pieces, thank you!!!

We appreciate the concern but we feel that the 3 months we have set should be sufficient time for artists to illustrate their pieces. We only have 1 check in per month and that is merely to check on progress of pieces, seeing whether they'll be completed on time.

You can check the full list of our FAQ here!

#faq

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anythingsaidproductions · 4 years

Text

My song “Riot Grrrl Zine” is a long time coming from the way I grew up. Being a child in the 90’s put me in an odd spot with finding what it was to be empowered as a girl. Flooded with pop culture, I became immersed in a certain idea of “GIRL POWER” that would later drown me. I saw women who performed music in an entirely different way than I saw men. Therefore, as I grew into a young woman who, herself, wanted to be a singer, my idea of what I had to look like became my main focus.

I appreciated the large landscape of possibilities with music from a young age. I loved how it made me feel, without having to be touched. As I grew up, insecurities would set in, and self doubt would pave the way to self sabotage. The desire inside to sing and perform music has never been questioned. I simply didn’t see in the mirror what I saw on TV, or in magazines. The reality of being a pop singer felt like less of a possibility as time went on.

By the time I was 15, I had dealt with “normal” issues like parents divorcing, moving towns, and gaining emotional-eating weight. The end result left me unhappy with my body and unhappy with myself ultimately. At that age, I had made attempts at self-harm and being bulimic, but I wasn’t able to push past the physical pain of it. When a friend of mine gave me a burned CD of The Used’s self-titled album, I was reminded of how music numbed my emotional pain. I couldn’t get enough of this beautiful, angry and very sad music. Anything in this genre, I became obsessed with. Linkin Park, Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance became my remedy to life.

By the time I was 18, I was figuring out music was my only answer. I remembered how badly I wanted to be a pop star when I was younger, but I didn’t look like Britney or Christina. I started desperately seeking a woman to look to for guidance. Paramore became my rock. They embodied the music that got me through my years, but had a woman singer who I could relate to. I no longer wanted to be a popstar, I wanted to be able to sing. Sing my heart out with every bit of pain I was drowning in.

The problem was that every time I opened my mouth to sing, my childhood insecurities resurfaced. I was comparing myself to the level of talent and skill of experience Hayley Williams had herself. I just wanted to make music that felt good and sounded good, but I had no real understanding of what it took to become that level of singer.

I did what I knew I could, and I found a voice teacher who specialized in live-performance singing and rock music based training. I trained and I practiced and I visualized and I believed this was happening for me. I believed that my dreams were around the corner, and I was going to be on stage with Paramore themselves, singing a duet. I worked hard, and started writing a lot of music. I was able to write and record a 6 song EP entirely on my own.

As quickly as I believed it was happening, I just as quickly lost hope in my dream. The EP I put out didn’t get me signed, it didn’t blow up on soundcloud, and my youtube videos of song covers weren’t going viral. I blamed everything on not being “good enough.” Finally, the glorious day came when I watched the documentary called Miss Representation. I took the red pill, and I woke up from “the matrix” of the patriarchy. I had no idea how my mind was manipulated into seeing myself as a participant in this world.

Flashbacks to being 10 years old, in the locker room of the tennis club, as my grandmother stands me in front of a mirror. She pinches my tummy, which is exposed from my two piece bathing suit, and tells me “This is fat. You don’t want this.” She was a Hollywood starlet, and I know honestly it wasn’t her fault she believed this was the base of a woman’s value. She was looking out for me, the best way she knew how. In her industry, to be skinny, was to be liked. This is what fed my doubt for the next decade of my life.

At 25, I watched the documentary The Punk Singer, about Kathleen Hanna and her part in the Riot Grrrl movement. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had the green light to go after my dreams. I wanted to sing my pain, and these women knew how. The honesty of their experiences, being screamed through a microphone was a whole new world for me. Up until this point, I thought only men could do this, and definitely the only ones who were taken seriously. I finally saw that I could make my music, and not have to look or sound a certain way.

I desperately sought anyone who would want to join me in my crusade to make loud music. I struggled to find bandmates, and so I looked to my partner of 5 years. She had originally introduced me to Riot Grrrl music, so I asked if she’d be willing to learn the bass guitar. A short amount of time went by before our band, I Dream of Darlene, was created. We wanted the name to combine our passion for strong females in good sitcom television, and our “punk rock” attitude. Naming our band after Darlene Connor from the show Roseanne, we felt like we had plenty of inspiration to get us going. We wrote songs surprisingly well together, and made a set list we were both proud of.

I was too eager. I was too earnest. I wanted to be on stage creating an experience. I booked us shows, and before I knew it, we were on stage. Simple rhythms and easy chord progressions were trying to carry the meaningful message I felt like I was singing. When the show I had put the most time and thought into finally came, we played to a nearly empty venue. Drive and passion are important, but I was reluctant to do the work before putting it on display.

Hiend sight truly is the clear vision of our actions, and most definitely the mistakes. The self doubt was obviously still eating me from the inside, because I practiced music the same way I looked in the mirror, with blinders. I never really allowed myself to examine my body too closely, for fear of how badly I would tear myself apart. I never allowed myself to participate in my own music, for fear of hating what I was working on. I don’t think I ever truly gained the calluses on my fingers that would have led to proper guitar playing.

Like every other project up until this point in my life, I put it up on the shelf to be finished at another point. This was in 2016, and since then I stopped performing live. I went to my voice lessons, but still hiding away from the world. Until I got an invitation to audition for t.v. show The Voice. I thought to myself, this is it! Immediately, I began my training like I was going to the Olympics. I pushed myself farther than I ever had before, my own dedication actually inspired me. I sang so much, that come the audition, my throat and voice was shot. Regardless of not getting it, leaving the audition I was elated. I was actually doing what I had always wanted to do. Sing.

A lot of events happened in my life between 2016 to 2019 that molded me and helped me grow. For a year, my wife and I took care of our niece when she was just 10 months old. I grew patience, I grew understanding, but most of all I gained the faith in my capabilities to go after any dream of mine if I took the right steps.

My voice teacher set me up with his best friend’s son to produce a song together. For years, he had told me that he loved my song “Riot Grrrl Zine,” and promoted it more than I ever did. It needed some finishing touches before being sent off to be produced, so I sat down with my wife and asked her how she first discovered the music of the riot grrrl movement. I wanted the song to have these answers for people hearing it for the first time, and who don’t know about this movement. Filling in some new lyrics, and finding a bridge to complete the song, finally it was finished and sent off to the producer. Now I waited... Finally the day came to go to the studio. Things were finally moving forward and I was going to a real music studio to record my own song!

The hardest lesson to learn is that I needed to experience life to grow. No book or movie can give the full understanding it takes to make things happen. I sat back in my comfort zone for many years, hoping that enough wishing on stars was going to make things happen. Action has to take place, and the more times that action occurs, the stronger that dream becomes a reality.

“Riot Grrrl Zine” is my story of how I may not have grown up with riot grrrl music, but it eventually reached me and made its imprint on me. I may not embody the punk rock spirit entirely, but the music is a piece of me and I am excited to share this with the world.

#riotgrrrl #riotgrrrlzine #spice girls #millenial #music #lgbtq #selfhelp #selfesteem #selfimage #body dismorphia #90’s music #essays

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