#i am Quite Fatigued

[jtownraindancer]

missing my second favourite revolutionary spy played by burn gorman tonight 🇬🇧

[niconiconwo]

I really don't like these long shifts. Ten hours is far too long to be focused and responsible. I wish my boss was the type to do six hour shifts and have AM/PM crews.

[ruporas]

it's time to go, my love (ID in alt)

[timemachineyeah]

the fact that I cannot simply quit my job. there’s plenty of food and space and skilled people in the world. things could function so much better with a tenth the labor if we were efficient about it. but we aren’t. and under capitalism I love my job - I am incredibly lucky to have it and even find it fulfilling in its way. but also I am disabled and my life would be 1000% easier if I just didn’t have to find miracle jobs to make what still comes to below poverty wages given how few hours I can manage. but even though the amount of money I make is play money to other people, it’s the only thing giving me dignity, both the dignity of privacy in spending and the false dignity of being a “productive member of society”. plus, like, I gotta eat and feed my cats, even if I’m currently rent free. but sometimes I think about the ways money and my job (and their relationship with my health) play as such large factors in my decision making and I just think, ideally, those would have less weight. ideally I could just quit my job and somehow still have money. not because I don’t love the work, but because of the limitations having to maintain both a work schedule and my fatigue put on me.

[tenspontaneite]

Ok so literally no pressure, but I do have a kofi and if anyone feels like showing appreciation for my writing or art or I guess my cat via its medium, now would be a good time because there's a thing I really want to buy and I don't have enough birthday money left over for it lmao

(the thing is an art oriented android tablet. So that I can still draw shit when post work exhaustion compels me to collapse in bed against my desire to,,, you know, draw things.)

Link to my Kofi 👌

[livelaughlovekill]

panic

[straydogged]

wait holy shit when I did the laundry earlier, I didn't get dizzy or anywhere near as tachycardic as usual??? no fucking way. did I seriously just need to go back on beta blockers the whole time.

[unopenablebox]

it's literally so nice to lie down

[bsaka7]

ran 8mi today at a flat 10 I didn't even mean to run that far i just felt like it and it was lovely. Just cruising...

[boundlss]

hm. how do i say what i'm meaning to say with this post... ok, so, it's not that i dislike the muses i'm writing and i do understand why they're some of the only muses getting written---i did re-theme the blog after rui for a reason---but i'm the sort of person who generally feels restless if a lot of my muse list is going unused or if i have to stick to the same couple of muses for a little while. i wonder if it would do anything for me to go back to posting some more content that involves me randomly generating a muse to write, or maybe offering up some things i've done less in the past that involve me suggesting sort of out-there dynamics...? ah well. something to think about.

[echhosworld]

DAY 17 OF DRAWING THE NAMELESS GHOULS UNTIL I CAN GO TO A RITUAL

this here is a nameless ghoul voting for ghost at the amas

i actually got back to voting today after a break because the stress from everyone on twitter yelling to vote got unbearable... so this is not a "reminder to vote", just a silly little thing

i am also manifesting a good night's sleep for today because i swear i cannot take this tiredness anymore haha ha ha- *crying noises*

[mindhowyougo]

at the risk of repeating myself... shaun evans good actor

[tastyflowers]

hmm. not sure I was prepared for how much reading a degree involves. overwhelmed

[saltedsolenoid]

well. productive day ! ( i did nothing)

[cryptidesc]

of course on the rare occasion that my physical disabilities take a break from screaming at me, my emotional anguish claws at me instead. god forbid my existence feels remotely tolerable

[galaxseacreature]

I have been trying one of those recipe box subscriptions even though I'm single and always figured it wouldn't be very efficient as one person

(I should probably have used a friend's code but i signed up pretty impulsively when a decent offer presented itself in the wild)

so far i really like it?! I feel way better about my diet when I do some actual cooking, and it turns out that, for me, not having to think too hard about what to make is a HUGE help in actually feeling up to cooking, especially on a given weeknight.

like i can browse the recipe options when I have spare time and it's...actually really fun! I love thinking about food in the abstract! and then i get stuff that i can just start cooking whenever without having to make a big plan about it. and it even makes it easier to do the rest of my grocery shopping!

also as one person so far the 2 servings have been pretty fair, so it works out to reliably have leftovers for lunch or the next night. Not enough to get sick of and not so little I feel cheated by it, basically. It seems like sometimes I might need an added veggie, but that's fine.

it's definitely not the most "cost effective" option, but i can afford it right now, so that's whatever. why else am i making money anyway? i do feel kind of bad about the extra packaging and shipping, but i can live with it