#i am a little sappy tonight but LISTEN

[anuphim]

i love my moots...i love the cotl fandom....u are all so cool and have such amazing ideas....i get blasted by happy brain chemicals everytime i open tumblr dot com

[zeroreasonstocare]

Strongest Sorcerer Virgin

Includes: established relationship, Satoru Gojo x fem!reader, oral (m!receiving), unprotected sex (pls use protection!!), Gojo is cocky until he actually has to do it (lolll), kissing, pet names (baby, princess, babycakes), praise (always), creampie I suppose, mentions of satosugu?? (His first kiss), overstimulation (only two orgasms)

Word Count: 1,421

Masterlist

A/n: I have been thinking about virgin gojo for months. It's not funny. I’m so obsessed with him. The voices said “write Satoru Gojo as a virgin” and I will indeed listen.

〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎ ❀ 〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎

You didn’t know when you started dating him, but Satoru Gojo is a virgin. Absolutely no experience, despite his claims.

Oh, according to him, he’s made every girl he’s dated cum at least ten times before putting it in. Little do you know, you’re his first girlfriend. And unfortunately for him, you’re about to find out he’s still a virgin.

He got off easy with convincing you he could kiss fine, having jokingly practiced with Suguru in the past. But he didn’t want to get that far with his best friend, that’s embarrassing!

You’re making out on his couch, the soft pillows sinking under your combined weight, sappy romance movie forgotten in the background. Your hands move to push his sunglasses off his face and he holds your cheeks. You laugh into the kiss when his hips press against yours and you feel just how hard he has become.

“Is tonight finally the night we fuck, Satoru?” You tease and kiss his nose.

“Wanna see what I’m all about, princess?” He chuckles, cocky til’ the end.

“Mhmm, show me that talented dick you claim to have, Satoru.”

His smirk falters. It’s barely noticeable, but you still notice.

“Satoru? Are you okay?”

“Pshhh, whatttt? Of course I am!” There’s that lying voice.

“Satoru…” You have that warning tone to tell the truth.

“What, babycakes? I’m fiiiine.”

“Gojo.” Now he’s done it. He gulps as you refer to him with his last name

“…Okay, okayyy, I miiight’ve lied…”

“About…?”

“I, uhhh, I’ve neverhadsex.” He mumbles super fast.

“What?”

“I’m a virgin! Okay?! I said it!” He pouts and looks away in embarrassment. You almost want to laugh.

“…say something?” He mumbles shyly.

You do laugh. The strongest sorcerer, the most talented man in the world, is a virgin?! That’s absurd! It’s insane! You can’t help but laugh.

“Heyyy, stop laughing!” He whines, face red from embarrassment.

“Sorry! Sorry! I just can't help it! It’s crazy that you were so confident! I never knew!” You giggle. “Don’t be embarrassed, Satoru, I can help you out!”

“That’s even more embarrassing…”

“Oh, come onnnn, it’s just me! I’d be honored to pop the strongest sorcerer’s cherry.” You giggle at your own words and he keeps pouting.

“You’re so mean. And don’t say it like that!”

“Please?”

“…Fine, but only because you caused this problem.”

You look at his bulging pants and grin. “Mkay!”

His porcelain skin is so warm. The two of you had moved to his room and he’s on his back, your plush thighs straddling his lap. You’re both nude and he’s staring up at your body as if it’s sculpted by those sculptors that worshiped the gods. Hands rubbing your thighs nervously as you kiss down his body, stopping at his happy trail.

“You ready?”

“…mhm.” He swallows hard as you kiss his tip.

His body jolts, nails lightly digging small crescent shapes into your thighs. You grin and kiss down his shaft, lightly licking his balls before taking him down your throat.

He gasps from the sudden warmth and bucks his hips. “Shit, that feels good, so much better than I imagined…”

His whimpers fill the air as you fondle his balls and bob your head. You swirl your tongue around his shaft and pull back when you feel his cock throb in your throat and lightly blow on the tip, the cool air making him jolt.

“Fuck, you’re really edging me, princess?” He whines and rubs your hips.

“Come on, can’t have you blow your load so soon.” You giggle.

“I’m not blowing my load…” he mumbles shyly.

“Mhm, sure. Now, since it’s your first time, do you want to do it all or do you want me to just ride?”

His face is beet red. “Wh- I- uh- I can do it myself!!”

You can’t help but giggle. You lay on your back and spread your legs, showcasing just how aroused you are. He rubs your thighs gently and looks into your eyes for approval. You nod and guide his hips.

“Move your hips and slip it in.”

It takes him a while to actually react, shy from your bluntness. He shifts over you, lining his hips up with your body and looking at you for reassurance.

“Like this…?”

“Yep, you can go slowly or quickly, but push in.”

Satoru swallows hard, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He slowly presses himself into you, gasping at the warmth, better than your mouth. His hands grip the sheets on either side of your head, struggling to keep from busting right away.

“I-is this okay so far…?”

You smile. “Just like that, you’re no longer a virgin.”

He lets out a huff of air, laughing slightly at your words. He swallows again, unsure of what to do. You intertwine your fingers with his.

“Move, set your own pace. I’ll let you know if it’s not enough or too much.” You speak gently, encouraging him.

He swallows again and nods, slowly drawing his hips back and hissing at the way you squeeze him.

“So tight, you feel so good, baby… Does this feel good?”

You nod when he thrusts slowly back in, gradually building up in tempo and in turn moving deeper. He hits particularly deep into you and his tip kisses your g-spot.

“Right there! Do that again!” You gasp and hold his hands tighter.

He looks at you with wide blue eyes, pupils blown as he moves harder, eliciting a moan from your lips.

“Th-that good? Does it feel good for you too?” He manages to say through gasps and grunts.

“Yes, Satoru, so so good…”

He clearly likes the praise, moving faster and now at a constant pace, hips barely stuttering from how close he really is. He has to see you cum first. He needs it, needs you to feel good because of him.

“Satoru, my clit, rub my clit.” You whine, guiding his hand to the sensitive nub.

“Do I just-”

“Just rub it!” You buck up into him as he keeps his pace and finally moves his hand too.

His calloused thumb rubs circles into your sensitive clit, and he catches how your folds seem to flutter around him. He bites his lip and watches your face contort into the cutest expression.

“C-close, ‘toru, please…”

“…T-tell me what to do…”

“Just keep up like that, please…”

He nods and fights back every urge to cum, not wanting to miss when you reach your orgasm. You finally cum with a cry of his name, gripping him impossibly tighter and he finally releases as well. Spurts of his seed fill into you as he keeps fucking it deeper.

“C-can’t stop, it’s too much, I can’t stop!” He borderline cries into your shoulder as he keeps overstimulating the both of you, refusing to slow down or stop.

His sloppy thrusts won’t relent on your poor weeping cunt, white forming at the base of his shaft. You dig your nails into his hands, holding impossibly tighter at the overwhelming sensation.

“Satoruuuu! Too much! G-gonna cum againnnn!!” You cry out and clench tighter around him.

He moans and gasps in your ear, too out of it to hear your cries, only focusing on how you’re sucking him in and won’t let go. Not that he plans to ever leave. You reach another orgasm and thrash against the sheets at how intense it was, and again, he soon follows, this time stilling his hips as he whines out your name and so many praises.

“Thank you, thank you, baby, feels sooo good, princess, I love you, I love you…”

He collapses onto you and buries into your neck. You slowly come down from the overstimulated high and play with his hair.

“Satoru, get off…”

“Nuh uh.”

“Come on, Satoru, we gotta shower.”

“Tomorrow, we can do it tomorrow. Can’t move, if I pull out, I’ll just make us cum again.”

You giggle a little and let him cuddle into you. “You’re such a big baby, ‘toru.”

After a moment of silence, you speak up again.

“Was your first time good?”

“So good, you have the best pussy in the world, babycakes.”

You roll your eyes at the nickname and kiss his forehead. “Thanks, idiot.”

“Your idiot.”

“Mhm, my idiot.”

You both fall asleep, not a care in the world. As the moonlight shines through his window, the only thing that matters is that he’s with you, and you’re with him. Satoru Gojo is no longer a virgin. All thanks to one gorgeous girl: you.

[haddonfieldwhore]

fragile - matthew tkachuk

matthew tkachuk x gn! reader

summary: after back to back losses, all matty needs is some words of reassurance from his favourite person

word count : 0.8k

warnings: maybe some angst but mostly fluff, sappy, hinted at nsfw themes for 2 seconds, not edited

you were almost asleep when you heard the door, as matthew finally got back to the hotel. you hadn’t been at the game, staying back with a headache this time, but you had watched it on tv; it wasn’t good. you listened as he kicked off his shoes with a sigh, and heard the soft thud of his clothes and bag landing on the floor. the bed dipped next to you and his arms wrapped around you, pulling your back against his chest, nuzzling his chin into the crook of your neck.

“hey, baby,” you murmured softly.

“hey,” he sighed, his eyes closed.

“i’m sorry,” you sighed; you hated how helpless you always felt watching the team when they were down.

“you watched it,” was all he said. you rolled over in matty’s arms, placing soft kisses up his throat. “is there anything i can do to cheer you up?” you hummed, gently creating a love bite under his jaw. sometimes the best way to improve his mood after a tough game was quite simply to let him take his… frustrations out on you, and you were never going to complain about the more dominant side of him it brought out; but tonight was different.

“i just want to hold you,” he replied, and you were a little surprised, but your heart fluttered just the same. you snuggled into his chest as his arms tightened around you.

“is something else bothering you?” you asked.

“besides the back to back 4-0 losses, you mean?” he laughed bitterly.

“matt-“

“what if it’s me?” he asked, and to say you were at a loss for words was an understatement. matthew tkachuk was someone with a great deal of confidence, often mistaken for arrogance by some; either way, self doubt wasn’t the usual thing for him. you pulled back slightly so you could look at him, his blue eyes sad and missing their usual playful gleam.

“matthew that’s ridiculous. where is this coming from?”

“have you seen my stats? i’m supposed to be this star player, and i can’t even score a goal.” you reached up to gently hold his face, the light stubble on his chin tickling the palm of your hand.

“so you’re off to a slower start than expected- it happens. and besides, you guys are a team; one person doesn’t win or lose, you guys do it together,” you said, admittedly not used to having to comfort him like this. “you guys have been doing great; two games isn’t the end of the season.”

“what if i’m holding the team back?”

“you’re not-“

“what if i am?” he insisted, his eyes that had until now avoided your gaze finally locked with yours. his eyes searched yours with a pleading hopefulness for any kind of sign that he was wrong; that it wasn’t all his fault.

“matty you broke your sternum six months ago; you’re being extremely hard on yourself. you are not some kind of dead weight, and i don’t ever want to hear you say anything like that again,” you pleaded. “it’s amazing that you’re back to playing as well as you are so fast after what happened. i know you’re used to being one of the best - because you really are - but i think you just have to settle for being ‘pretty good’ until you’re back to the place you were at in the playoffs.”

“what if i never get back to that level again?”

“you will. if anything you’ll be better because you want it more.” you promised, and he was silent for a second, as if thinking over everything you’d said.

“what did i do to deserve you?” he asked, shaking his head slightly as the first hint of a smile appeared on his lips.

“i ask myself that about you every day,” you smiled, pressing your lips to his. you hummed softly as his hands slid up your back to deepen the kiss, and you tangled your fingers gently in his soft curls, his hair still slightly damp from the post game shower.

“i love you,” he mumbled against your lips, and you smiled into the kiss.

“i love you too.”

you laid your head back down on matthew’s chest, and felt him press a kiss to the top of your head as you tangled your legs with his under the blankets. the familiar scent of his expensive cologne lingered on his skin as you kissed his collarbone in response, and whispered a quiet ‘goodnight’, already feeling yourself drifting off to sleep.

“goodnight angel,” matthew mumbled, feeling slightly better as he replayed everything you had said in his mind. he knew deep down that you were right; that he was expecting the world of himself, when at the end of the day, he was just a person. but to you, he was home, even in a city miles away from it.

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

[ramblingoak]

could we maybe have copia calling reader while doing “that”👀 for the first time and having reader help him through it?

This isn't exactly what you asked for but hopefully you still enjoy it 💙

Invisible Touch

Papa Emeritus IV x Female Reader ~ You decide to give your Papa a call while he's busy in his office

Warnings: phone sex, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, gets kinda sappy at the end oops, nsfw, 18+ only, mdni, 2300 words, not proofread forgive me (thank you to @foxybouquet for help with the Italian!)

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“What are you wearing?”

You tried not to laugh when you heard Copia fumble with his phone.  He let out a few muffled curses before his voice became clear.

“Eh?  Uh, what was that dolcezza?”

“I asked what you were wearing, Papa.”  With a sigh you reclined back on the bed, shimmying a bit to get comfortable amongst the various pillows.  “I’ve been wondering all day.”

“I’m wearing my black shirt and my vest, dolcezza you saw me this morning, no?  You even helped button me up.”  The sigh you let out this time was laced with frustration.  Copia could be adorably dense sometimes.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, Papa.  It’s just, well, you’re wearing too many clothes.”

The only sound you heard for a few beats was his breathing and you were hoping he was finally connecting the dots. 

“Am I now?”  Bingo.  A thrill went through you at hearing the deeper register of his voice.  “What should we do about that, hmm?”

You stretched out with a pleased grunt, enjoying the feel of his soft sheets on your bare skin.

“I think you should unbutton your vest and your shirt.”  You bit your lip when you thought about his chest.  The dark hair that covered it and the softness of his belly.  “And then I think you should touch yourself.”

“Oh yes, I can do that.”  He cleared his throat and you heard his chair creak.  “Let me just lock the door fir—“

“No!”  His chair creaked again and you assumed he had sat back down.  “No, leave it unlocked.”

“Someone could walk in dolcezza.”

“Then you’re just going to have to be a good boy and listen to what I tell you.  Can you do that, Papa?”

“Yes.” 

“Good, now finish unbuttoning your shirt, but leave it on.”  The sound of fabric rustling in your ear had your heart beating a little faster.  “Leave your gloves on too, I want you to enjoy the feel of the leather on your skin.  Just like I do.”

Copia let out a quiet groan that had you rubbing your thighs together. 

“Do I get to know what you are wearing?”

“I’m not wearing anything.”  You couldn’t help but laugh when Copia groaned louder.  “I’m completely bare in your stupidly big bed.”

“Would you like some company?  I’m not doing anything at the moment.”

“What I would like you to do is start touching your nipples.”  Copia took in a quick breath and you smiled.  “Take your thumb and move it in a circle over one.  Like how I do it.”

“Mmm, but it’s different when you do it.  Better.”  He gave a resigned sigh but you could tell by the pitch of his voice he was enjoying the touch of his own hand just fine.  “It‘s better with you regardless.”

“No need to pout, you’ll see me tonight.”  You let your hand wander to your own chest, grazing a nipple lightly with your fingers.  “You’ll feel me tonight.”

“Si, si I will.  I’m going to feel you everywhere.  In all the little secret places only I get to touch.”  Copia’s dark chuckle had you clamping down on your lip to keep your moan silent.  “You’ll get my fingers, my tongue…my cock.  Everything, dolcezza.”

“You can do whatever you want to me, Papa, but first you’re gonna do what I say.”  It was your turn to laugh at the sound of his whine.  “Stop trying to distract me.”

“It was worth a shot, eh?” 

“I think you should put that mouth to good use and suck on your fingers.  Get them nice and wet for me.”  The sounds of him humming around his fingers, the thought of his tongue tracing over the leather had you starting to get wet.  His cheeks were probably pink under his makeup and you could see the heavy lidded look he got when he was aroused in your mind.  “Now touch your nipple again, switch between them, and imagine it’s my mouth.”

Copia groaned and while he began to touch himself again you started to do the same.  Your nipples were hard in moments, the skin on your breasts covered in goosebumps.  A small gasp escaped your lips and Copia hummed when he heard it.

“I do love your mouth on me.”  He let out a hiss and your eyes closed as you thought of him pinching himself.  His nipples would be hard and red by now, begging for relief.  For the cool touch of your tongue.  “Your wicked mouth, more wicked than even Lilith’s was I’m sure.” 

“P-put your phone down, Papa.  Put it on speaker.”  You waited until you heard the sound of it being set down and for the sound of his breathing to be further away.  “Now untie your pants.”

“Dolcezza, if someone comes in…”

“Then let them.  Let them see what I’m doing to you.”  He cursed under his breath but you could hear the rustling as he started working on his pants.  “It’s not like they haven’t seen worse anyway.”

You smiled at the sound of his laughter, smiling wider when you pictured the look on his face.  It was one of your favorite things, seeing your Papa smile.  It was even better when you were the cause of it.

“Si, but I’d rather you be the only one to see me like this.  With my pants undone and my cock in my hand.”

“Papa, I didn’t say you could touch yourself.”  Copia growled in frustration and you pressed your hand over your mouth to cover your laugh.  He muttered a few Italian phrases in your ear, his pout audible over the phone.  “I thought you were going to be good and do exactly as I say?”

“Mi dispiace, sarò buono.  I can be very, very good.” 

“Hmm I don’t know.  Maybe I should make you sit there and listen to me.”  You moved your hand off your breast and let it slide down your stomach, stopping right above your mound.  “You can listen to me come while I scream your name and you won’t be able to move at all.”

“Dolcezza, please…”

“More Papa, beg me some more.  Tell me how desperate you are.”

“I am always desperate for you.  Always thinking about you, about having you under me and above me.  Of sinking my cock into your mouth and your cunt.”  There was no stopping your moan at this point and you moved two of your fingers through your slick folds as he continued.  “I want to fuck you until you’re screaming my name.”

“That’s funny,”  You pushed your fingers inside of your entrance, panting in your phone as you started to pump them in and out.  “I want to do the same to you.”  He cursed in your ear and you laughed breathlessly as you finally said the words he was waiting for.  “Touch yourself, Papa.”

Copia’s relieved moan had you wanting to move your fingers faster but you forced yourself to slow down.  You didn’t want to cum before he did. 

“I wish you were here.  I wish your tight cunt was in front of me on my desk.” 

“Tighten your fist, imagine you’re inside me right now.”

“C-cazzo, it’s not the same.  This is why I drag you on tour with me.  I wouldn’t survive that long without you.” 

“Use both hands Papa, rub your thumb along the bottom like I do.” 

“It’s better when it’s your tongue.” 

Despite his complaints his voice was getting deeper, his breathing faster.  You put your own phone on speaker and used your now free hand to play with your nipples again. 

“Go faster Papa, pretend you’re fucking me.”

“Trust me dolcezza, I am and I will be.  I’m going to fill you up until you can’t hold any more.  Until I’m dripping out of you.”  His chair started creaking louder and you began to pump your fingers faster again.  “I need to see your face.  Per favore.”

You stopped pinching your nipple and grabbed at your phone, frantically pressing the button to FaceTime him.  He answered it right away and you made a note to remind him to wipe his phone off later.  His face filled the screen and your breath caught at the sight of him.  Most of the paint around his mouth was gone and to anyone else he would have looked ridiculous, but not to you.  

“Hey, handsome.”

“How many fingers do you have inside of you?”

“Such a sweet talker.”  You propped the phone against a pillow and laid back a bit, watching as his eyes glanced towards the part of your chest he could see.  With a sigh you pushed a third finger into your cunt as you smirked at him.  “Three now.”

Copia grinned as he leaned back in his chair, keeping his phone clutched in one hand.  You could see his arm moving as he continued to pump one hand up and down his cock.

“Three?  Will that be enough to get you ready for me?”

“More than enough I think.”  You couldn’t help but snort at his growled ‘brat’.  “I’m sorry Papa, I’m only teasing.”

“I think the time for teasing is over, hmm?”  His head fell back, the muscles in his jaw moving as he briefly clenched his teeth.  “Let your Papa cum.”

“Is that what you want to do?  You want to cum all over your hand as you think about fucking me?”  His frantic nodding was the only answer you got, but it was enough.  You started moving your fingers faster, grabbing the phone and switching the screen so he could watch them.  Copia let out a ragged moan at the sight and you knew he was close.  “I wish you were here.  My fingers aren’t the same, Papa.  N-nothing is ever as g-good as your cock.”

“No, dolcezza, no you need me deep inside of you.  I can reach much, much farther than your fingers, no?”  You switched the screen again so you could see his face, his mouth had fallen open just like yours.  Both of you breathing heavily as you got close to your climaxes.  “Tell me, tell me you need me.”

“I need you.  I need your cock, Papa.  I w-want it all the time.”  Your mouth fell open in a silent cry as you neared your peak.  “I’m empty without you.”

“Fuck!”  

Copia grunted, his chest heaving as he came.  You could hear the wet sounds of his hand running over his cock, spreading his cum on it.  Your own climax hit you then and you buried your face in the bedding as you spasmed around your fingers, gasping his name over and over again.  It took a few moments for both of you to collect yourself, for your breathing to even out.  When you heard his chair move you tilted your head up to look at the screen, smiling at how much worse his face paint looked and at how messy his hair was.

“Hey, handsome.”  He snorted, shaking his head as he used a handkerchief to wipe his hand off.  You grabbed the phone and rolled over onto your back.  “How do you feel?”

“Spent.”  He grinned at you, waggling his eyebrows like the dirty old man he was.  “Wishing I was in bed with you.”

“Oh, I wish that too Papa, but you have a budget meeting don’t you?”  He sighed, nodding his head as he turned to check the clock on the wall.  As he turned back you brought your fingers up to your mouth and wrapped your lips around one, sucking your wetness off of it slowly as he watched.  “That’s too bad.”

“You minx.”  He looked ready to tell you off some more, but the words caught in his throat as you sucked another finger between your lips.  “That’s it.”

“Papa?”  You fumbled with the phone when he abruptly got up and moved offscreen.  “Copia?  What are you doing?”

“I’m getting dressed and I’m going to cancel my meeting.”  

With a grin you settled back into the pillows, watching the screen and waiting for him to appear again.

“And why’s that, Papa?  Something else come up?”

“Not yet, but it will be up again soon.”  

You snorted, your shoulders shaking with the laughter you were trying to keep in.

“That’s a terrible joke.  I can’t believe I spend time with you.”

“I think I know why, dolcezza.” Copia’s face appeared on the screen again as he picked his phone back up.  You blushed when his eyes met yours, the green and white of his sparkling with humor and something else.  “It’s my cock, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s it exactly.”  He laughed, his own blush visible where his paint had rubbed off.  “I love your cock, Copia.”

“Bene, bene.”  

He started walking and you straightened up a bit when you realized he was heading towards his office door.

“What about your meeting?”

“Fuck the meeting.  I’d rather come fuck you.”  Copia paused at his door, looking at you through the screen with a soft smile.  “I love you, dolcezza.”

“I love you too, Papa.”

“Not just my cock?”

“I love everything about you.”  He grinned and it was a good thing you were already laying down, that smile would have made your knees weak.  Still, you couldn’t help but tease him.  “But I love your cock the most.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Papa.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”  He swung the door open and started making his way down the hall towards his quarters, towards where you were waiting for him.  “Four minutes.”

“I’ll be ready for you.”

Copia brought the phone up to grin at you again, his steps getting louder as he began to walk faster.

“I’m counting on it, dolcezza.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist of fic

my archive of our own page

[aphrogeneias]

we've reached a new milestone (there are now a little over 3.1k of you here, which is an insane number if you ask me) and i always say i'm not one to celebrate these things, and i really am not, but i feel like being sappy on main tonight

i've been through a lot of phases in this website, and none of them were easy. mostly because i'm never easy on myself, and partly because i felt overlooked. unseen, ignored, unheard. the last time that feeling took over was when i had decided i would quit for good, and deleted all of my fics from this very blog you're reading right now.

that was two years ago, and shortly after i decided to come back, because giving up is simply something i don't do — and when i did that, i said that perhaps the third time, my third attempt at sticking to being a writer, would be the charm

and as it turns out, it was. and that is because of all of you, who believed in me, who have seen me, and heard me, and made me feel like i belonged. sometimes i still doubt that i do, sometimes it's difficult to go on, but you (all of you, my mutuals, the followers who are always in my notifications, the people i interact with once in a while, the friends i made along the way) made me feel like this can be my place too, and i'm forever grateful for that

thank you for being here, thank you for all the love and the kindness, thank you for always listening. i'm not the best or the brightest, but you make me feel like i can do anything <3

[didyoubringauntienat]

Sleepless Nights

(Gif not mine)

Summary: Y/n can’t sleep, now it’s Wanda’s problem

Word Count: 591 words

Warnings: fluff, Y/n being a little shit

Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @haeva @lilaloubear @natashasilverfox @marvelonmymind @natashamaximoff-69

Google Translate translations (so please tell me if it’s wrong 🥲)

Dekta: baby

Ty suka: you bitch

You have been staring at the same spot on the wall for half an hour, Wanda had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. The pillow, being your chest which quickly got uncomfortable as her chin dug into your sternum. You sigh softly as you twiddle your thumbs trying to distract yourself and hopefully to calm you down, you focused on Wanda’s face.

Usually that would help you fall back asleep with how calmed she looked and following her breathing but tonight that wasn’t the case. “Wanda…Wands… baby?” You gently shake her shoulder as you leave comically over her so your face is inches from hers.

“Mm five more minutes…”

You groan and start to poke her cheek, her hand quickly slaps your finger away. “I’m bored!” You whine before shaking her again.

“Okay! I’m up I’m up jeez…” you grin as she slowly sits up, pushing back her bed hair before hiding a yawn behind her hand. “What’s wrong dekta? Did you have a nightmare?”

She gently rubs your back as she watches you. “I’m bored.” Her hand stops as she listens before letting out a groan.

“You woke me up…” she checks the time on her phone, “At 3am! Because you’re bored?” You awkwardly smile at her as you realise how silly it does seem. “Sorry? I am trying to fall asleep but I’ve got all this pent up energy and it just won’t go away.” You pout and cross your arms, you hear Wanda chuckle at you which makes your pout deepen.

“Have you tried to get rid of some of the energy?”

“Obviously.” You roll your eyes.

“Hey! Drop the attitude I’m just asking.”

“Sorry I’m just grumpy that I can’t sleep…” you smile at her before grabbing her hand which you soon draw shapes on her palms. “I love your hands”

“Oh god” she giggles softly as she interlaces her hand with yours. “You always get so sappy when you’re running on fumes.”

You roll your eyes and jokingly push her away. “Shut up, I'm not sappy.”

“You soooo are” she grins before biting her bottom lip.

“Nuh uh”

“Yuh huh”

“You’re a baby” You huff as you turn away from her.

“You mean your baby”

“That was so corny.” You laugh as you look back at her.

“Lie down”

“Huh?”

“I said lie down” she not so gently pushes you back down before climbing onto your lap.

You smirk as your hands grip her hips. “Damn babe you surprise me more and more every day.”

She giggles before pushing your hands off. “You’re an idiot.” She brings her hand up to your forehead and red wisps slowly leave her fingertips and make their way towards you.

“Your idiot” You fight the heaviness of your eyes as you smile up at her, your hands come back and gently rub her hips.

“Yeah and I’m the corny one.” Your smile wider as she leans down and gently kisses you. “Don’t fight it baby”

“I don’t want to sleep now though…I’m enjoying this right now.”

“I know dekta but we can spend all morning talking tomorrow okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

You yawn and drop your hands. “I love you”

“I love you too.” Wanda carefully gets off your lap and lies down next to you. She watches you finally fall asleep. She lies down and sighs as she relaxes waiting for sleep to take her again. She frowns and turns to look at you, now too wide awake to go back to sleep. “Ty suka.”

[idolatrybarbie]

odd couple

pairing: established francisco "frankie" morales x reader

word count: 2.5k

rating & summary: explicit, mdni! | frankie can't cook, to put it lightly.

tags: no trigger warnings needed for this one, porn with (little) plot, rated e like woah, frankie needs a win, very unedited as of initial posting, stubborn!frankie, premature ejaculation, handjobs, cumplay, overstimulation, sub!frankie moments, multiple orgasms, spit kink/drooling, #petnames4frankie, praise kink, slight dacryphilia, reader calls frankie "wet" in this idk that might not be your thing i guess. look man it's been a hard week.

notes: it's not wednesday and i am struggling a lil' bit (might make a personal life update soon idk ?) but i am being such a brave little toaster about it! writing this definitely made me feel better. when it comes to music, this weezer song is a little generic within their discography but whatever, i like it. hope you enjoy! also everyone go read @wannab-urs sub!max phillips fic because i say so and it's awesome.

You listen to Frankie move around the kitchen from your spot on the couch, trying your very best to ignore the occasional clang and clattering noise that flows out from the distant doorway. Tonight, he has taken on the task of making the two of you dinner. Or trying to, anyway. You don’t cook much either. Your job, like his, doesn’t lend much time to it. Takeout is more than often what’s on the menu—Burger King, of all things, is his favourite.

You know how to cook though. Every once in a while you have the spare time to whip together something truly delicious; slow-roasted pork belly, or maybe a nice pasta with garnish. Frankie doesn’t seem to know his ass from the oven.

The two of you have had this conversation hundreds of times. You stating that he can’t cook, and him pushing back, insisting that he can. Or he could, before the service stuck him with single meal MREs for a number of years and he lost most of the culinary knowledge given to him by various tías, his abuela, and of course Mrs. Morales herself.

His stubbornness spurs the occasional urge to throttle him. It’s fine you can’t cook, you always tell him. Not like he can’t still learn. Still, he insists, and insists on insisting on top of that.

Honestly, you couldn’t be more of opposites. Even excluding skills of domestic labour, he and you are a bit of an odd couple. Frankie’s an early mornings guy, always, while you enjoy a sleepy Sunday—or just about any day that ends in Y. He hates the horror movies you fawn over, while you can’t stand the nature documentaries and sappy celebrity biopics that he eats up year over year. Frankie is highly detail-oriented, the engineer instinct in him always angling towards rigid preparedness; you’re a bit more goal-focused, letting any plan morph and adjust according to the situation.

Another such cooking conversation had taken place on the drive home after declining Frankie’s offer of McDonald’s for the fourth night this week, and now here you are: listening to the man curse under his breath, muttering complaints from the kitchen as he tries his hand at homemade spaghetti.

The kitchen is silent for a moment. You go back to channel surfing, clicking past reruns of Golden Girls and M*A*S*H*. Stopping at a channel playing the cinematic masterpiece Grease 2, you focus your attention on the open doorway behind you again. It feels almost too quiet…

A string of hushed, panicked curses from Frankie confirms your suspicions. Getting off the couch, you use the soft overhead light to guide you through the dark apartment. Frankie is standing over the stove when you see him, quickly moving away and towards the sink. Water splashes into it, surely scalding as steam rises into the air. Or maybe that’s coming from his ears?

You clear your throat in the kitchen doorway, and Frankie turns to you. His face is slightly red, a silver pot held in his grip by the towel-covered handle.

“Is everything okay?” You already know the answer to that question—aggravation rolls off of him in waves, permeating the space between the two of you like a mirage in the Mojave Desert.

Frankie opens his mouth to respond, but the words never come. He does this a few times, wracking his brain for the proper way to put it as he parts and pleats his lips, living up to his call sign.

Eventually, he settles on, “No.”

He heaves a deep sigh, tossing the pot onto the counter. Getting a closer look at it, you see the charred spaghetti noodles stuck to the shiny bottom.

“Don’t, okay?” Frankie says before you look up again.

“What?”

“I know what you’re gonna say. I told you so, blah blah blah. I know. You’re right. I can’t fuckin’ cook.” The words are rushed, like he’s half-embarrassed to even say it.

You frown, reaching an open palm out to him as you shake your head. “That’s not what I was going to say.” You motion for him to come closer and he does, slipping into your arms as you hug at his tense shoulders. “It’s okay. You can take a class, or we can work on it together. I think that’d be kind of fun,” you say.

Picturing making something with Frankie—maybe bowties and broccoli, something simple—has you smiling into his shoulder. For his birthday last year you made red velvet cupcakes with sour cream frosting. The recipe is a little more complicated, but baking them with him this time is a pleasant idea. You already know he’s the type of person to lick the batter off the beater.

“I don’t want to do that to you,” he says.

You pull back from the hug to look at him, those big brown eyes of his crinkled at the far edges. “You’re not doing anything to me,” you say. “At least, not right now.”

A small smile comes to his face then, creeping and dopey before Frankie gives you a soft kiss at the tip of your nose.

“They should really give you a Netflix special or something,” he says.

“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all night,” you muse.

Still in your arms, Frankie glances over at the pot of blackened, noodle-shaped mush. “What are we gonna do for dinner?”

Right now, he’s in the closest proximity to you that he’s been all week. At least, while you’ve both been conscious. Work has you staying later and later at the office these days, while his shifts handling flight operations have him drained, in bed and fast asleep well before you even get home. Tonight is special even if it hasn’t gone the way either of you planned.

You hum, dipping your head to nose at the patchy beard along his jaw. “I’m thinking we skip dinner.”

“Come on, seriously,” Frankie says.

“I am serious.” Leaving a wet kiss on his cheek, you whisper, “Don’t you want your dessert, Francisco?”

A hum rumbles low in his chest. “Of course, but—”

“But nothing.” You move your left hand to cradle the side of his face, his skin smooth under your touch. He leans into its warmth. “I’m hungry.”

You know that he is too. At your words, Frankie practically jumps you, a kiss pressed to your lips hard before your brain can catch up with what’s happening. He holds you in his arms tight, like if he loosens his grip even a bit, you’ll float away. The pair of you move out of the kitchen and back into the living room, the horrible 80’s movie still dancing across the pixels of the TV.

Frankie falls onto his back, bouncing against the couch cushions. The remote is underneath him, the mute button conveniently hit upon his landing. The cheesy show tunes cut out immediately. You move to straddle him as he lays horizontal. Frankie cranes his neck a bit to watch you as you settle over the crotch of his sweatpants. He’s half hard under the fabric already.

Frankie pulls you down into another bruising kiss. You hunch over to meet his lips, his hands circling around your waist. You’ve decided to take the Frankie approach to tonight’s activities; cool and calculated in your plans and decisions on how this is going to go. Grinding your hips down, you watch his face carefully. He huffs out a breath, soft and peppery like the cinnamon gum he keeps in his car.

You reach between your bodies to feel him in his pants. Frankie kisses at your face, quick and sporadic as you palm at him. He moves to lift your shirt off your body and you let him, raising your arms to help him. He tosses the thing to the floor and lets his hands rove over your skin. Continuing your ministrations, you slip your hand beneath the elastic waistband of the grey sweats. Frankie has no underwear on, a pleasant surprise.

“Fuck,” he groans, nosing at your neck.

“What’s wrong, honey bun? Doesn’t that feel good?” you ask, slowly pulling your hand away.

“Yes, please. Do it again?” His voice strains deliciously, the muscles in his arms held taut.

Frankie relaxes only slightly when you return your palm to where he’s hot and achy, cock wet at the tip. You run your thumb along the head of his dick as he pushes his hips up into your touch. You slide the pad of your finger along his shaft, spreading the dampness.

“Aw baby, you’re already a little wet. Isn’t that sweet?”

You start to stroke him in earnest, the tight circle of your hand moving up and down his cock. The movement is a little dry, your skin dragging against the sensitive velvet of him. You push his shirt up his belly, pulling his pants to his knees easily. Then you spit into your palm, jerking him off easier this time.

“Fuck baby. Just like that,” Frankie pants. He’s moving his hips with your hand now, fucking up into it on every down stroke. With your free hand, you prod at the small dip at his hip, feeling the muscle tense beneath the skin.

“Bet you feel so good, baby. Nice and easy for me,” you coo.

“Don’t stop,” he whispers.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, honey.”

You twist your hand at the end of every movement upwards, fingers rubbing over Frankie’s tip as he leaks steadily onto himself. The glide is easy now, lubed with your saliva and his precum. The squelch makes your mouth water as you watch his cock disappear and reappear in the shadow of your fingers.

He puts one of his hands over yours, urging you to go faster. Your hands move together over Frankie’s dick, picking up the pace as the sticky noise turns into a slap with every thrust of his hips.

Frankie breaks pace, stuttering on a caught breath before he spills over your hand and onto his belly. You pause to watch his chest tense and then loosen, his eyes shut tight as he comes down. Raising your hand to your lips, you lick a bit of his cum from the edge of your fingers. It’s the first thing Frankie sees when he opens his eyes again, making him groan. The noise sounds almost painful.

“That was—”

“Amazing?” you supply.

Frankie wheezes a laugh. “Something like that.”

“What about a second helping?”

He furrows his brow, then looks down at his dick. It lays limp and spent on his stomach. “I don’t—”

“Please,” you implore oh-so-sweetly. Frankie sees big eyes batting at him, a twinkle of adoration. The intent behind it is a little more Kubrick, but he doesn’t know that yet.

He can’t say no to you, doesn’t want to anyway. Frankie nods, mumbling a yes at you. His cock twitches with interest when you drag a finger through the pool of cum on his belly and pop it in your mouth. You smile at Frankie as you take him in your hand, strokes slow as he hardens again.

Leaning into his body, you flick your tongue against the shell of his ear. “So, so wet honey. This all for me?”

“Yeah, shit—I can’t,” he mumbles.

“But it feels so good,” you say. “Wish you could see your cute little face. I love seeing you like this.”

Frankie’s face waivers between tightly wound and relaxed in pleasure. You’re using his own cum as lube now, hand practically sloshing across his cock. He tries to keep his eyes open, watching your movements as you sit patiently in his lap, jerking him off.

Your underwear is ruined, the cotton soaked through as you discreetly rock yourself against the rough seam of your pants. You’ll take care of yourself later. Right now, all of your attention is on Frankie. This reward is his punishment. It’s the slightest bit petty, but you can’t let his stubborn behaviour go quite yet. You aren’t an I told you so type of person, but this? This is perfect.

You stroke at him on autopilot, watching the middle distance between the fine thatch of hair at Frankie’s pelvis and his skin coated milky white. He comes with a flinch before you even realize, still moving as he hisses. He’s still hard when he’s done, solid under your touch, so you continue.

“You’re doing so good for me,” you say softly.

“Oh god,” he whines, eyes rolling back.

“Does it hurt baby?”

Frankie doesn’t speak, can’t, nodding frantically up at you.

“You want me to stop? All you have to do is tell me.”

He doesn’t—not with words or the shake of his head. He likes this, and both of you know it. Frankie gets off on the pain, a pleasure so hot that it burns; water blazing to the point that the sensation runs cold, delicate skin held close over a candle flame.

Frankie starts to squirm. You hold him down by the shoulder with your free hand, fingers spread over his overheated skin with a firm press. His whole body is sweaty, soaking a runway down the front top half of his t-shirt.

“Please, please, please.”

He breathes your name, barely getting the syllables past his lips. You never find out what he’s begging for. He probably doesn’t quite know either.

His dick and his mind can’t seem to agree on what they want. You watch this war play out, a losing battle. Every few seconds he presses his hips to the couch, trying to stay out of your reach. Then he slots his hips forward again, seeking out your hand directly.

Finally, Frankie seems to find his words. “Fuck, please. I can’t, I can’t. I’ve got no more, baby, please.”

“One more, honey. You can do that, can’t you? Just one.”

“Mm, shit. It’s—it hurts. It hurts,” he says.

“I know, baby. You’re so sweet for me, so good. I know you can do it,” you assure him.

Leaning down, you position your mouth over him. You let the spit sitting in your mouth pour past your lips, drooling onto his throbbing cock. The saliva slides down his length slowly as Frankie moans at the sensation.

The added slick makes everything wetter, truly soaking as you jerk him off faster. Frankie starts to babble nonsense between short, tripping moans. A split-second decision, you breathe hot air over the head of his dick. The slightest change in contact pulls his third orgasm of the night from him. Frankie cries, groaning loud as fat, wet tears roll down his cheeks. You hunch over him to give his face a kitten lick, collecting them with your tongue.

You let him go when he finishes coming, letting his dick flop against the plush of his tummy. Dragging your own shirt off the floor, you wipe at his skin and clean up your hands before tossing it back down.

Frankie finds the strength to tuck himself back into his sweatpants. He pulls at your elbow, sending you crashing gently into his side on the couch. It isn’t really big enough for the both of you to lay down. You squish yourself against his chest and shoulder, feeling his arm rest over the length of your back.

“How was that?” you ask after a while.

“A five course meal and then some,” he says. Frankie scoffs at himself, like he can’t believe what just happened. “Jesus Christ.”

You kiss his chest through his shirt, his body warm and solid against your cheek. “Nope, just me.”

[abiiors]

George is black cat bf and golden retriever gf coded <3 (do what you will with that)

Sorry it took me so long to do this and also this is so sappy but I hope you like 💞

I’m already saying this but I’m gonna write a smutty part 2 for this 

Support

George is content sitting in the corner of the room tonight. 

He leans back on the leather sofa, feeling quite at home in his expensive and stylish suit and sips on some Scotch. People mill about around him; chatting, engaging in small talk (the horrors) but his eyes are focused on the person at the centre of it all. 

You flit around from one person to the other and then to the next. They’re all here for you after all—your adoring fans and critics alike, here to get their book signed and have a chance to meet their favourite author. Most of them are young people, girls just entering their twenties and boys who are the literary types. Some of them have tried to chat with George too. 

To his credit, he’s done a great job of blending in with the crowd, just another fan but he does get recognised every once in a while. He smiles and nods, says a polite hello but makes sure to tell them that he’s just there in support tonight. 

The small bookstore is decorated in the colour scheme of the book—A soft pink and red, hints of teal and gold but they just barely peek through. He’s read this book now, more times than perhaps even your editor has. He has been here for all the drafts, for all the frustrated tears and the whoops of joy. He has been there to drag you back to bed when the kitchen light is still on at 3 am and you’re hunched over your laptop, or neck-deep in research. He’s been there through your indecisiveness between two cover designs and your countless attempts at taking the perfect author photo and now here he sits tonight. 

Every time he looks at you, at the brilliant joy on your face, he feels the ball of pride in his chest grow bigger. 

Halfway through the conversation you’re having, your eyes wander over to him. He is, of course, already looking so he just smiles wider and raises his glass in cheers. The smile slips a little when he sees you looking apologetic. He’s about to indicate something when he sees you excuse yourself and run over to him. 

The gorgeous purple dress he’s helped you pick out sways and swishes perfectly every time you move. And now as you get closer, he’s once again in awe of how well you’ve carried yourself this evening. 

‘Sorry, sorry,’ you pant a little, ‘I’ve practically abandoned you all night, I’m so sorry.’

The apologetic smile is back on your face and he all but pulls you down on his lap right there. 

‘Baby, don’t apologise,’ he extends a hand for you to hold, ‘it’s your event!’

You grab a hold of it gratefully and sink into the sofa next to him. It’s been a fantastic evening but it’s also been tiring, to say the least. The drink in his hand looks delicious and he wastes no time handing you the glass once he sees you eyeing it. 

‘Go on,’ he signals, ‘you look like you need a breather.’

This is how it goes. He offers a drink, offers to listen to whatever you have to say; be it after a frustrating day of work or right in the middle of a bustling event. There are several tangents to your stories, there always are. Incoherent thoughts that need to be all brought together first before they can be streamlined. 

‘I just,’ you take a sip and let it rest in your mouth for a second, ‘I can’t believe it’s out into the world you know? I worked so hard on it.’

‘I know you did,’ he encourages. 

‘I don’t want to let go of her,’ you confess. ‘All the nights I spent doing research and all the revisions and new drafts. It feels like this book is a part of me and now that she’s finally out into the world, I’m gonna have to let her go.’

George rests a hand on your knee. He knows this feeling perfectly well; he knows what it’s like to feverishly work on something, to dedicate all your waking hours to one thing before it’s finally time to put it into the world. He knows the bittersweetness that comes with it. And he feels a new kinship when he sees it on your face tonight. 

‘It will always be a part of you,’ he says quietly, ‘even when you start something new, even when your next project consumes you.’

You consider his words, let them mull over as you take another sip. 

‘God, you’re so wise,’ you tease. 

That makes him laugh. It’s deep and rich, his first real laugh all evening that goes beyond polite smiles. ‘It’s all the weed,’ he whispers conspiratorially. 

‘You’re right, though. I—’

‘Sorry, excuse me?’ A sheepish-looking guy cuts in. ‘I was just wondering if you were free for a photo?’ He extends a hand in greeting, names the literary magazine he’s from and George watches the recognition dawn on your face. Along with the excitement. 

You’re already turning to him, about to say sorry but he interrupts quickly. ‘Go. Be a social butterfly.’ Then he leans forward and presses a soft kiss on your lips, ‘I’m so proud of you,’ he whispers, ‘and I’m right here.’

You smile gratefully and hand his glass back to him and just like that you’re off with the guy chatting animatedly about something or the other. The glass in his hands is almost empty now. He realises that you needed it far more than he thought. 

He traces a finger over the small lipstick smudge on the rim and smiles to himself. He doesn’t mind being left in the corner for one night. Actually, he’s perfectly content just watching you shine from the sidelines.

[cricketnationrise]

Congratulations on 500!!! 🎉🎉 Extremely well deserved!

How about Zahra, 9:37pm, somewhere in England (I leave where exactly entirely up you)?

I'm on ao3 as hwaelweg 💙

for you my lovely, I have a lil date night moment for Zahra and Shaan. hope you love it, and thanks for being AMAZING and screaming about books with me 💜🦗

want your own ficlet? my followers can submit prompts based on these guidelines through January 31, 2024

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

9:37pm, london

Zahra looks around from her perch at the bar. The pub is all dark wood and the smell of decades of smoke sunk into the furniture. It’s the most stereotypical English pub she could ever have pictured, and she’d never admit it out loud, but she fucking loves it. There’s classic rock playing quietly over the speakers, often drowned out by the laughter of the group of students in one corner. A pair of old men, who look like they might be part of the architecture, are putting away more Guinness than she’s ever seen in one sitting. Someone’s playing darts near the back, for fuck’s sake.

She’d love the place even more if her goddamn fianceé was here with her, but she of all people understands an unconventional working schedule. Especially when the Claremont-Diaz family is even tangentially involved. If she had a nickel for everytime she dismissed that little annoying popup in Outlook that says “Send during normal working hours instead?” she’d be set for life. 

“Another round, dear?”

“I—” A buzz from her phone interrupts and she glances at it, heart giving an excited little wriggle when she sees Shaan’s name pop up. (Well actually he’s saved as “Shawn S” in her phone—a preventative measure against overly-curious June, never-me-a-boundary-he-didn’t-try-to-cross Alex, and too-smart-for-her-own-good Nora. She’ll change it once Ellen’s second term ends and she doesn’t have to interact with those assholes in person on a regular basis. (Shaan had laughed so hard he cried when he found out—Zahra had hit him with a pillow.))

5 minutes. See you soon, love.

>move that perfect ass srivastava >i miss you and stuff

“Sorry about that,” she says to the bartender, a no-nonsense older woman. She runs the pub with kindness hiding an iron fist and Zahra liked her from the moment she sat down. “I will take another round, and can I also get a whiskey ginger?”

“Jack Daniels okay?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Another burst of screaming laughter covers the tinkle of the bell above the door, but the chilly gust of air at her back makes Zahra turn around. The smile that stretches her mouth at the sight of Shann is soft, loving, and completely involuntary. Thank fucking god Alex isn’t here right now. He’d never let her hear the end of how sappy she looks right now. (Alex once tried to high-five her for locking down that suave motherfucker and Zahra had given him a look that made him hide behind Henry.)

“Everything sorted then?” she asks, tipping her face up to meet Shaan’s. He kisses her quickly and sits on the stool next to her.

“Yeah. I finally got a hold of Gavin so that Alex can “sneak out” to the V&A with Henry tonight.”

“Thank god. Now I won’t have to listen to him freak out about the logistics of proposing anymore.”

Shaan just raises an eyebrow as he sips his drink. “He’ll just bother you about wedding details instead.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“I am sorry I kept you waiting tonight.”

Zahra tips her head onto Shaan’s shoulder. “I’ve done it to you enough times. I get it.”

Shaan slings the hand not holding his glass around her waist. Zahra can feel the warmth of him even through their layers of clothing and slumps a little further into his space, utterly trusting him to keep them both upright. They stay like that for a while, not talking, just basking in the fact that they are together and free of their charges for the night. So often they are only in the same country because of some international policy issue. Zahra lets herself sink into the moment, reveling in the rare chance to just sit quietly at a bar with the man she loves.

“This is a good spot. Cozy. Quaint,” she eventually says, gesturing vaguely at their surroundings.

“I’m glad you think so. It’s one of my favorite pubs in London.” He hesitates, eyes distant, then drops his voice and continues. “Arthur and Catherine used to sneak out and come here on dates, actually.” 

“Oh?” Zahra sits up so she can look at him properly. He doesn’t talk about the time he was Arthur’s equerry that often, and she doesn’t want to miss anything. From what he has said, she can tell it was a similar relationship to the one she has with Ellen. Close friendship, fierce protectiveness, and a hold-nothing-back, bantering sense of humor—closer to family than employee and employer.

“They’d put on casual clothes and ballcaps and make a break for it when her mother got particularly overbearing. I followed discreetly—”

“Of course.”

“To make sure they had a back up plan. And then once Catherine got pregnant, they stopped pretending they didn’t know I was there and invited me to join them. The three of us spent many a late night here, just talking.”

“Sounds great.”

“It was. I—I miss him a lot. But it’s been a pleasure to watch Henry grow into himself. He’s more like Arthur than even he knows.”

He falls silent again, and Zahra smiles at the soft look on his face. He really is disgustingly handsome, people should be absurdly jealous of her life. She kisses the side of his neck, unable—unwilling—to hold in her affection any longer.

“Take me home?” she asks. “I want to not be wearing clothes with a zipper any more.”

“I’d be delighted, Ms. Bankston.”

[beaker1636]

A Love Reunited - Ricky Smut/Fluff

A/N: I don’t know why my mind went towards a sappy fluffy cute smut but it did so hopefully you enjoy this anon! I didn’t edit this so they’re maybe some typos, also I upload via mobile so if the formatting is ever off I am sorry! Enjoy!

Edit: for some reason tumblr won’t let me add the imagine below the photo so it’s all wonky. Sorry!

Sighing you clock out at work and make your way out the door, extra glad it is finally the weekend after a long week, but also a little disappointed to be making your way home to your apartment alone. Your boyfriend Ricky is away on tour and unfortunately there is still about a week left before he can be home.

You decide to send him a quick message before you start the drive home, letting him know that you are thinking of him and miss him.

When you pull into your driveway you notice that you have a message so you take your phone out as you walk towards your front door.

“Good thing we got home early then,” you read.

You quickly unlock your front door when you got the message, looking up to immediately gasp. Wasting no time you make your way to where he sits on your couch, sit down on his lap facing him and bury your face in his neck. His arms snake around you, holding you to him tightly as you both sit there in the silence for a couple minutes to embrace and take comfort in being together again.

“Something came up and the tour ended a week early, so I decided to surprise you after work today,” he says softly in your ear, not wanting to let go of you as the two months you were apart has taken a toll on not just you but him as well.

“I missed you so much,” you mumble, trying not to embarrass yourself by happy crying.

The timer in the oven goes off, forcing you to separate from eachother.

“Go sit at the table, I will have dinner out for us in a minute,” he says kissing your forehead as he slips by you and into your kitchen.

You make your way to the dining room table ad smile when you see that there is a beautiful bouquet of flowers itting on it, and candles are lit around the room giving a romantic feel towards the meal, which melts your heart at the effort that he made to do something for you despite the fact you know he must be tired from the tour.

Rick comes out with your plates and then heads back into the kitchen to grab you both a couple of glasses of wine before he takes a seat next to you at the table.

“You didn’t have to do all of this for me, I know you must be exhausted after such a long tour,” you say as you start to eat the wonderful meal that he has cooked.

“I wanted to do something nice for you when I got back because this was the first tour we’ve been through together and I know it is a lot for you as well. I figured we have a nice at home date tonight and then we can spend the weekend being lazy and lying around together. After your week you probably need it too,” he responds back, reaching over to lightly squeeze your thigh under the table.

The two of you continue to eat, Rick telling you all about the fun and weird moments of the tour. Most of this he has already told you during your facetime chats but you still gladly listen to him as its been so long since you have heard him talk in person.

When you both finish eating you move closer to him so that you can give him a kiss, giggling when he pulls you out of your chair and onto his lap, not expecting the sudden playful moment.

“I’m so glad you are home, I missed you so much. I know you would never do anything but just knowing you meet so many fans makes me anxious, you never know what they could do or if you would meet someone better,” you admit shyly as you start to lightly play with his hair, loving the silky feel of it in your hands.

“Baby, listen to me. I don’t want anyone else. Noone comes close to you or how I feel about you,” he brushes your cheek with his thumb, which makes you look at him and making eye contact.

He leans down to gently kiss you again, but this time feels a lot different than any the two of you have ever shared with eachother. You can’t place why but you don’t question it, quickly giving in to the feeling and losing all sense of what is happening around you.

You can feel him smile in the kiss which makes you smile as well. Lightly Rick tugs on your lip with his teeth, your tongues lazily meeting. You can’t help but love how soft and gentle everything is right now. These slow sweet moments together are rare and you haven’t been able to have on in awhile.

His hands trail down your sides before landing on our ass and resting there for a moment before he pulls his lips away from yours just slightly.

“Why don’t we move this to our bed? You can show me how much you missed me,” he whispers, his breath ghosts across your lips making you shudder.

Rather than answering you get up off his lap and grab his hand, leading him out of the dining room and to your bedroom.

Both of you lay down on your sides facing eachother, lips quickly colliding with eachothers again only this time is more heated, both of you getting needy for contact that you have been missing.

One of his hands is resting on your hip as the other is in your hair, holding you closely to him. Slowly he pushs on you, letting you know that he wants you to lay down on your back which you happily do.

His hands teasingly rub the skin of your stomach which is now exposed from your shirt riding up slightly. Trailing his hands softly up your torso until they make their way back down towards the hem of your shirt, which he grabs and slides off of you, your bra quickly going with it while you blush.

The two of you have only been together like this a handful of times before he had to leave for the tour, so despite wanting it you still can’t help but feel shy when he looks at your body.

He gives you another quick soft kiss that is over before you can register that it had begun before they lightly start to ghost from your ear down to your throat. At the same time one of his hands moves to cup a breast, lightly kneading it before starting to roll your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Even after all this time he still takes satisfaction in teasing you.

He know that he finds your sensitive spot on your throat when you gasp and tilt your head allowing him more access to continue leaving marks along the path, because you know that he has to be at that point.

Reaching inbetween the both of you you decide to unbutton his jeans, sliding them down slightly along with his boxers.

He adjusts so that he can kick his them off the rest of the way before his lips slowly start to trail down your chest, continuing to leave marks as you reach down to slowly stroke him, wanting to drive him crazy and tease him as much as he was doing to you. You know you succeeded when he lets out a barely audible groan which makes you giggle.

His lips wrap around one of your nipples, making you gasp and shift at the sensitive feeling, your jeans feeling a bit too constricting now.

He notices you shift and moves to unbutton them, pulling away from you slightly so that you can lift your hip, allowing him to remove them as well as your panties in one quick motion before sitting at your side. He reaches over you so that he can rub your clit but you grab his wrist and stop him.

“No, I-I just want to feel you tonight, please?” you beg, craving the closeness and the connection that you have been lacking out on with him.

His shifts so that he is leaning over the top of you again, his lips finding yours gently as he teases you slightly with the tip against your clit. When you give him an annoyed grunt he finally gives in and slips inside of you, both of you letting out a groan at the sudden feeling of pleasure that is coursing through you.

Hi thrusts get a little bit harder as he goes but he doesn’t get anywhere near as rough with you as he always has in the past. He wants to savor this moment with you and enjoy this feeling. He also feels the change between this act and the other times the two of you have been together.

Pulling away he locks his eyes with you as his hands find their way to your waist, flipping the two of you so that you are now on top.

“Ride me baby, fuck just like that,” he groans as you begin to rock your hips against his, you being inpatient and going a bit quicker than he was when he was on top and leading the two of you.

Knowing that he won’t last long himself after not getting any for a few month he reaches between the two of you, starting to toy with your clit which makes you look away from him, arching your back at the level it adds to everything.

He can feel you starting to clench around him, hear you letting out breathy moans that let him know that you are getting quick and when you do cum rather abruptly he is right behind you, spilling inside of you a couple seconds later.

When you come down you share a couple lazy kisses before you finally pull yourself off him and go to your bathroom to quickly clean yourself up.

When you return you quickly put your pajamas on, and notice that he has slipped into his boxers and is laying on your bed waiting for you to join him. You do so, laying your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him while he begins to lightly run a hand along your back. Both of you sit there quietly, processing what has changed between the two of you but not wanting to be the one to break the silence.

A few moments later Rick decides to be the one to break it, “Being away from you like this for so long made me realize something… well that and one of Chris’ weird peptalks helped me figure it out too,” Rick says softly, still rubbing your back softly.

You move so that you are looking up at him,” Hmm?” you ask.

“This is probably not the best time to say it, and totally is not what I planned to do but I want to say it. I love you, more than that I’m in love with you. I’ve never mised someone so much while gone, or worried about a girlfriend like this,” he slowly stops talking when he realises he is rambling.

“Rick, I love you too. I just was too nervous to say it and freaked out thinking it would freak you out saying it only four months into our relations,” you admit and then before giving him a second kiss lightly.

Suddenly realization hits you and you pull away with a weird look on your face.

“Wait, you confided in this with my brother before you did me? No wonder he has been really weird lately when we’ve talked and asking how things are going with you,” you say giggling slightly.

You lay back down, curling up in his side again, content to just stay like that the rest of the night.

“He confronted me about it, I will explain later, lets just go to bed,” he says, sounding annoyed.

You decide to just let the subject go but totally plan to ask him about it in the morning curious on what that could have meant.

The two of you continue to catch up on everything you haven’t had a chance to with one another before you finally start to fall asleep, feeling loved and cared for, more content in your relationship than ever.

[sammyboyimagines]

stay gold pt.2

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Plus-Size! Reader

Summary: Billy knows exactly how to make you feel better about yourself. He wants to show you exactly what you deserve... 3k words

Warnings: SMUT 18+ NO MINORS (i will tell ur mom, she's right next to me). Degradation, (slut, whore, etc), praise, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it pls), edging, swearing. Idk what else

//okay! sorry this took so long I was busy this weekend! Also I know this is really bad I'm so bad a smut it's ridiculous but I am trying. Let me know if it's okay! Also thank you for the likes and requests. I am working on them!!

After you got in Billy's car, he couldn't keep his hands off of you. His hand was on your thigh the entire way to your house. You could feel yourself getting hotter as he skated his hand further up your leg with each passing mile. "You're a bad influence, you know that, doll? Making me act up." he teases you as he lights the cigarette hanging from his soft lips.

"Oh, like you're Mr. Perfect." you stretch your shirt down further to give him a perfect view of the top of your breasts in the white tank top you chose to wear this morning. You loved how it put him in a trance every time he saw you sporting it. 

Billy knew what made you react, what words to say to get you falling into his arms. "You're gonna be the death of me. I want that shirt off as soon as we get inside. I'm not wasting any time." he took his eyes off the road and looked at you, his gaze full of adoration, not lust. "Need to make my girl realize how amazing she is." you felt your heart hammering in your chest as you listened to his words. He really did know just what to say.

"You're so sweet.." you both had a running joke. Billy despised being called "sweet" by anyone else but you. He didn't want to seem weak around people. "Mhm, you'll regret that sweetheart," he smirks and exhales the cigarette smoke out the window. He loved your teasing, it made him feel like he didn't have to do all the joking and teasing in the relationship. Loving you felt easy. It was a big relief for him. 

"I love you, you know that, right?" he didn't say it often, but when he did, he truly meant it. "Yes, and I love you too. When did you get all sappy on me?" you held his hand, resting them on the middle console. His hands slid from your hand to your thigh again, reminding you of Billy's sensitivity to affection. It didn't bother you because you knew he truly loved you, his love language wasn't verbal.

When you got inside, Billy was anything but gentle. "You're not allowed to wear this shirt anymore. I can't be gawking at you all through class, doll." he practically tore it off of you, and he would have if you didn't stop him to take it off yourself. "could say the same thing about those jeans. Your ass looks amazing in them, baby." you said, laughing at his embarrassed smile.

"We're talking about you right now." Billy couldn't help the smirk that lay across his face as he led you to the bedroom. Without warning, he grasped you, his large hands gripping your ass tight as he pushed you up against the wall. He ignored your yelp. "You're gonna learn tonight, sweetheart. You're gonna learn not to tease me with your tight jeans, and tiny shirts. You're gonna be a good little slut for me, right sweetheart?" he knew you liked being talked to like that. He would never say anything like that if he knew you didn't want it.

Billy didn't give you any time to respond before his lips were pressed to yours, his tongue eventually finding its way to your lips. He'd seen you naked many times before, but this time you were particularly insecure, and Billy wasn't having it. He could tell you weren't fully there in the kiss.

"Sweetheart, everything okay?" his hands held your face. He was really worried now. You never hid anything from him and you figured that you'd hurt him more if you did keep a secret from him.

"I'm just confused. You have girls practically throwing themselves at you, and yet you stay with me." You had kept that thought deep in your mind. Maybe he was pitying you. Though when you looked up from the floor, your eyes met with his angry expression. 

Shit

"Y/n, honey. I don't know who the fuck is putting these ideas in your head, but I don't want anyone else. Even if I could be with anyone else, I wouldn't want to. I want you. You're so fucking gorgeous I can't stand to look at you too long or I'll fall more in love with you." Billy wasn't the best at communicating his feelings, but it warmed your heart every time he did.

"I don't want anyone else. I want you, I want a future with you. Why would I look anywhere else when I've got my life right here in front of me?" His hands had fallen to his sides. It was his sadness that really affected you. As soon as you saw his mad expression turn to a sad frown, you realized how important this was to him.

"Now, can I show you how much I want to be with you?" In your mind, you were picturing what a future with Billy might look like. 

"Show me."

He gently caged you, his hands pressed against the wall you had your back against. He kissed you again, humming when his lips met yours. You felt the excitement rush through your veins as you leaned against him. The look in his eyes when you pulled away was almost sinful. He peppered wet kisses down your jaw onto your neck, leaving marks to let everyone know that you were his. "You can give me some too, so everyone knows I'm yours." the sentiment alone was enough to make you swoon.

Billy didn't waste time pulling off your clothes, in a matter of 20 seconds, your jeans and bra were laying on the floor as he had you pressed against the wall. "Fuck I'll never get used to this." he pecked your lips before leading you to your bedroom. He didn't want to carry you because he knew that it wasn't something you enjoyed. 

"Mmm, take these damn panties off," he ordered you, smacking your ass harshly before you left his side to undress. You enjoyed his rough side. Billy admired many things about you, but one of his favorite parts about you was how open-minded you were. He enjoyed late-night rides with you to random places while Hawkins was asleep. He even let you drive his car once...until you hit a curb and he decided it would be best that he drive.

Billy unbuttoned his top and unzipped his jeans. "Come here, baby." his voice became gruffer the more frustrated he got. It sent shivers throughout your body when his voice got lower. He pulled his pants and boxers down to his ankles, he couldn't be bothered to take them all the way off. "On your knees, sweets." he loved using names for you, he loved the way your eyes lit up every time he used a new one you liked.

You got on your knees, the bed behind you as Billy held your cheek in his palm. "You look so good right now, such a good little slut for me." he didn't miss the way your cheeks heated up at the name. "You like that? Being my slut?" he held his dick in his hand, rubbing himself as he tried to keep his cool. He'd blow his load at just the sight of your body, let alone the view of you on your knees ready to take his cock in your mouth.

"Open that pretty mouth for me, slut." Now that he was sure you were okay with it, he'd be a little mean. He inhaled quickly when you grabbed his dick and licked a stripe up his length. "Suck, don't tease me." he grasped your hair, encouraging you to take him in your mouth. He smiles as he gently pushes your head, admiring the way your pretty soft lips wrap around him. "You love this, don't you? Keep going and I'll give you what you want, princess." he let go of your head and let you do the work, which you did with no hesitation.

Your hands were traveling up from your knees to in-between your thighs. Billy smirked, pretending not to notice the way you were desperately trying to get yourself off while pleasing him. "You're such a greedy little slut, might have to fuck it out of you, maybe punish you." he hums as you let out a low moan, your soft lips still wrapped around him. You felt your wall clench around nothing at his words. You gagged around him, his length touching the back of your throat as you suck him off.

That was enough for him to thrust his hips into your face gently, a wave of pleasure rushing through him. "Fuck you're so good at this, doll." His hand reached down to your hair, his head thrown back in pleasure. Billy looked down at you, the spit dribbling down your chin as you managed to deepthroat him to the best of your ability. He groaned, his breathing picking up speed. He pulled you off.

"Look at you, doll. So pretty like this." he wiped the tears from your face, his heart skipping a beat when you smiled at him. "Now, get on the bed." he watched you climb into bed, your legs spread out for him. "Oh no, you're not getting what you want just yet. I have to punish you, remember?" He crawled onto the bed, his body sitting between your thighs. He stroked your thigh gently, each time, his hand would get closer to your heat, exactly where you wanted him.

"I think I'll choose your punishment for you. I'm not gonna give you what you want until you're a begging mess underneath me, not until you realize how beautiful you are." He couldn't contain the devious smirk on his lips as he gently sat you up in front of the body-length mirror across from your bed. 

"You deserve everything, and if I have to tease you for hours for you to finally realize, I'll do it." his fingers found their way to your clit, making you gasp and move your hips to meet his hand. He chuckled evilly. "Mmm, you like that idea? God, you're such a whore, I fuckin' love it," he growled in your ear, making your body shiver in anticipation. (i love you if you got that reference, pls get it)

His large hand cupped your pussy as he slid a finger into your warm walls. You mumbled a few curse words along with his name, and you closed your eyes. He smirked, "Watch your dirty mouth baby or I'll fuck your face again, you'd like that wouldn't you?" he hums. Your head fell back against Billy's shoulder as he fingered you at a slow teasing pace. 

He watched you in the mirror, his hard-on pressing against your back, dripping with precum from the sight of your beautiful full-figured body in the mirror. "Open your fuckin' eyes, doll. I want you to see how sexy you look when you're close." He halted his movements and smacked your thigh, waking you from your pleasured trance. "Open your eyes," he said firmly, a cocky smile plastered across his handsome face.

When you did, you could see yourself in the mirror. You could see him watching you intensely, biting his lip to keep himself from getting too hot. Billy knew your limits, he knew what you liked. You trusted him to give you what you needed, even when you wanted something else.

His pace sped up as he added two more fingers, making you struggle to keep eye contact with the mirror. "C'mon baby, keep staring." You obeyed, watching the way your body squirmed underneath his grip, his other hand splayed across your waist, holding you in place. He went faster, his hips starting to rut against your back as he lost control of his own body just from watching you. "Fuck you're so pretty." he could feel you tighten around his fingers and your loud moans only urged him to keep going. "You wanna come? Yeah?" his voice was mocking you but you didn't care in the slightest. You watched yourself in the mirror, how your figure looked while sitting in front of him as he punished you. It was a beautiful sight, just as he said.

You were right there, so close to coming undone on his fingers, and he stopped. "No please, please I promise I'll be good." you tilted your head back to meet Billy's sharp blue eyes staring back at you. He laughed.

"No, that isn't how this works, sweetheart. Bad girls deserve a punishment. And you've been a bad little slut haven't you?" he smirks when you nod, your fucked out face expressing desperation. "Keep going, and I'll decide what to do with you," you whined in protest and he slapped your thigh again.

After two more times of him stopping just before splendid pleasure, your legs were shaking as you watched yourself moan unashamedly in the full-length mirror. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you enjoy being denied, baby. You look so hot and bothered, maybe you'd like some more?" Billy was only saying to make you beg. He was struggling too. Even he came close a few times.

"No! No please I'll be a good girl just fuck me already. I know I'm pretty you tell me all the time!" you were saying anything to get more friction than you were getting currently. His hand was cupping your overworked pussy, your sensitive clit rubbing against his fingers each time you lifted your hips. 

"What was that? Keep talking." he pressed kisses to your neck as you watched the way hickeys would appear on the soft skin of your neck. "Please, I'm sorry, I'm beautiful. Please I'll do whatever you want, I need you so bad." Billy looked at you through the mirror. 

"You're right, you are beautiful. Now fucking remember it. Okay?" he smirks when you nod frantically. "I think you deserve my cock now, huh? Use your words, slut." he mocks you in a sweet tone, making you look up at him through teary eyes. "Please, Billy." he felt himself grow harder at the mention of his name from your pretty lips.

"I'm still in control sweetheart. You come when I say, got it?" he held your face. "Yes please just fuck me." you could hardly think anymore as he made you lay on your back. He sat back and took a long look at you.

He kissed your head, a small sweet gesture after ruthless teasing. He looked down at you. "You're so amazing and I never want you to feel like you aren't worthy of everything in this world. Doll, I know you don't usually feel insecure like this but next time it happens please tell me." he didn't like to be super cliche or sappy but he always found himself being a total melt when he was around you. It scared him sometimes.

"God, you are so fuckin' sexy. It's been torture watching you get off. I don't know if I'll last long, sweetheart." Billy usually lasted pretty long, but he'd been waiting for about an hour. All he was thinking about was fucking you until you were a sobbing, moaning mess underneath him as he drilled into you. Billy never held back.

Without warning he slammed into you, making you gasp from the suddenness. He thrust into you, his dick hitting your cervix in no time. "Fuck Billy, faster." you felt him slow down, making you whine. "What did I fuckin' say, huh? I'm in charge." he held your thighs up as he drilled into you, the bed shaking with every thrust. He groaned your name as he tried to compose himself. The feeling of your tight warm pussy wrapped around him made him go crazy. 

He eventually sped up, his hands gripping your large thighs tightly. You were sure that his grip would leave bruises the next morning. You were moaning his name over and over like a prayer. "Shit baby you feel so good." his groans became more high-pitched the closer he got.

He kissed up your leg, desperately attempting to keep his cool as the slapping sounds of him slamming into you filled the room. "Fuck please, it feels so good, you're fucking me so good." you didn't even know what you were begging for. 

"Mmm, I know, baby, I know. Nobody can make you feel this good, right? Say it. I wanna hear you say it." you were barely processing his words at this point. His dick was hitting all the right spots as he pressed soft warm kisses on your chest and neck. After seconds of silence, he slams into you harder, making you scream out in pleasure.

"Fuck Billy! No, no one can make me feel this good-" your orgasm came quickly as Billy roughly slammed into you. You're right on the edge as he sucks your nipples, watching your pretty face contort in pleasure as he bites down gently. "I can feel it, baby, I know you close. Come for me sweetheart," he mumbles into your neck, his own orgasm close behind.

"Scream my name, let everyone know what a fucking slut you are for me. Look at me while you come baby I wanna see those pretty fuckin' eyes." he was saying anything to make sure everyone know that you were his. 

"Gonna fuck you at school next time, let those fuckin' losers know how gorgeous you sound while I'm fucking the shit out of you. Mmm, you sound so pretty." that took you over the edge. You screamed his name as you forced yourself to keep your eyes open to watch Billy groan and stare at you. "Good girl, so good for me." he was rambling, his pace slowing down as he reached his high. "Fuck I love you so much." he moans into your mouth as he kisses your lips roughly.

After you both came down from your highs, Billy kissed you sweetly. "Jesus that was amazing. Do you need anything, sweetheart?" he lay next to you, his sturdy arms holding you close to him. You were speechless. You just nodded and smiled at him. He nodded back. "I'll run you a bath and we'll order some pizza or something. We've been at it for 2 hours and I'm hungry." he kisses your head. "I love you so much, I'd do anything to make you feel confident in yourself. You know that right?" he checked in with you. You finally found the words. "Yes, and I love you too." you watched his eyes light up. "Never change, Y/n. Stay gold." you laugh at his reference to the Outsiders.

"Nerd." you tease him. He chuckles and moves your hair out of your face. "Don't test me baby, maybe I'll feel like another round tonight. Think you could handle that?" he smirks, knowing you absolutely could not handle a second round.

"That's what I thought." he walked to the bathroom, and you threw whatever was closest at him and deemed it successful revenge.

//okay thank you! Let me know if there are improvements to be made (constructive criticism please).

[iantimony]

BIG tuesday

i skipped last tuesday because i was working on a take-home exam and simply did not have the time nor the inclination, so: beefy tuesdaypost today!

listening: my brother recommended 'dead magic' by anna von hausswolff and boy what an album. gothic, punchy, very vibey. the kind of album you let wash over you like an ocean wave.

pulled 'mostly kosher' from my to-listen list. fun, funky, very jewish, good vibes. ikh hob dikh tsufil lib

i've continued to mainline borodin symphonies 1 & 2. idk they're just hitting right.

and the new pieces for the orchestra i'm in - very french this time round: debussy's fêtes: kinda spooky and ominous and also fluid in a fun way! lots of buildup that seems to resolve into nothingness. horn parts for this are pretty good, not too difficult but are definitely Heard. chabrier's españa: really bumpin horn parts. fun bouncy motifs. what's not to like.

pocasting-wise, i'm up to partizan 38. 10 episodes left!!! the home stretch!!!!! it's so good but things are definitely amping up in the end-of-fatt-season way.

i've also listened to my friend b's gotham tv show podcast 'jim gordon must die'. very good and funny. i laughed out loud at some of the episode 3 descriptions.

reading: i was stuck in Bad Airport Times this past saturday (flight delayed 3 hours, then sat for an hour on the tarmac, arrived at 10pm when i was originally supposed to arrive at like 630) so i blasted through all ~150k words of 'freefall' by Kunoichi21 and xoTsundoku. bog-standard mafia au, but with a fun little circus arts twist; fun background fengqing; i do not like that they made beefleaf wholesome. give me my toxic beefleaf god damn it. but otherwise it was a fun read, sappy romcom-style. the fic itself isn't quite done but it's in endgame. the author notes have peak fanfic culture energy of "hey guys! sorry i didn't update, i started nursing school and my dad died" bro .... ;___; goddamn. please take care of urselves

watching: we are almost done with kill la kill! last two eps!!! so tonight we're doing that and also watching last week's dunmeshi together.

friend and i finished comrade detective. incredible. no notes. so funny. we started 'endeavour' which is a detective morse prequel thing and goddd the british-isms, and also started serial experiments lain. i don't know what i was expecting but god it was not this. i literally thought this was a cute fun hacker mystery show in the energy of cowboy bebop. it is Not That. not even close. it's good though i'm enjoying it. currently staggering through life going uhhhhh like lain does in the first few eps.

playing: fallow. i am re-installing disco elysium on my computer though. ive been wondering if i should try to keep going on the save file from last year or if i should just start over because i barely got in there at all.

making: many things. pottery!! some good some not as good.

so this design came out SO nice but the underglaze is so gd streaky! i hate it !!! i don't think it's really fixable either, i tried the hairspray trick to put new solid glaze over top the inside so at least that would look less like shit but i could not get it to work. maybe sanding it down? idk. it's ugly. it was supposed to be a bright teal but the woman who runs the studio mixed the batch up wrong so it's like. a really drab gray and not in a fun or intentional way. idk.

some new bisque:

teacups came out! still mismatched but cute nonetheless! gonna do them in a sort of celadon-type color with white flowers to match the teapot that my SO has :)

i don't feel like adding more photos for these lol they're very boring. the pot for my mom came out fine i think. gonna go in with normal white glaze over top to paint in some trees or other botanical designs. i sponged the underglaze on so hopefully the final result won't be streaky. sponged red on my seder plate to hopefully accomplish the same thing. mugs came through the bisque with no issues but i didn't do anything fun with underglaze on one of them so no new pics of that, but the other i did this tree thing again:

i KNOW it'll be streaky as hell. i just know. so i'm considering how i want to do it. perhaps putting some slightly transparent green over the top of it all to meld it together? unsure.

some new stuff: made a citrus juicer, this was attempt number 2 and just barely got it to work, attempt 1 was a total disaster. also made another mug type object, hopefully it'll still be wet enough this weekend to slap a handle on.

two mugs with red clay, i really loved the lascaux mugs that jessica bartram put up for sale last year but i didnt snag one in time so i was like. fuck it. i will make my own. gonna let them dry to leather hard before going in with black underglaze.

i've been trying to draw again but. idk. i just feel very uninspired. i start drawing and it's like :| :| :|

eating: i was on my own food-wise for much of the last week because my roommate was babysitting for the rabbi, so i did not eat nearly as extravagantly as i normally do, LOL. i made a lo mein recipe that was kinda just a stir fry. this could have been my fault because i added a bunch of extra shit like bok choy and mushrooms. i also didn't use the correct type of noodle, and i didnt have oyster sauce so i used worcestershire, etc. many substitutions so it's probably not fair for me to say it was Just Fine. will have to try again at some later date actually following the recipe. herb and radish salad with feta and walnuts: delicious. 10/10. i tossed in some extra arugula and that was also good. and i made the tofu brussel sprouts tahini/hoisin sauce thing again because it's easy and tasty.

misc: visiting my grandma right now ...... entrenched in the ennui .............. spring break ........................

[tragedicna]

feeling real sappy tonight so here's a little small promo but also big APPRECIATION towards them <3

@ambivalent-auguries

            the woman i'd commit tax fraud with . . . jk  .  unless . . . no  ,  just kidding  .  the light of my life  ,  i am so glad to have met you and had the absolute pleasure of writing with you  .  i love all of our character interactions and i love how you push me to write better  .  thank you for always being there for me uvu and listening to my stupid rants  .  i love how you always indulge me in ideas and don't hesitate to start new things with me to keep me on my toes  <3  .  you're the best  ,  vanda  .

@luvdive & @wcvensouls & @ashcrows

            you guys are the ones i've known the longest and i appreciate y'all a whole damn lot  .  i've switched blogs so many times  ,  changed up my roster so many times and yet  ,  you've stuck with me <3  .  thank you so much for the support  ,  i'm so glad to have gotten to know the two of you  .

@elysiumtouched & @thecircusfreaks & @txnichtgut & @constellaris & @heincus & @solivcgant

            the people who always indulge me whenever i want to use a muse or write a specific plot  .  you all are the mvp of my writing careers  ,  y'all are always so willing to let me throw muses at you even when i don't even have a full grasp on said muses  .  i'm so glad to have y'all as my hype people that always push me to do what makes me happy and knowing that i'll always have someone to write against when i just need someone to help me figure out what direction i want to take my muses in  .

and the inspos of my life  :  @killerhubby & @vonerde & @villain-he & @hembralfa & @v-iciious

            the work y'all put into your metas  ,  your edits  ,  and overall the effort and dedication y'all put into your muses is awe-inspiring and i admire all that you do  .  i am so glad to have met all of you and am so honored that i get to write with you  !!  i love seeing y'all on my dash and absolutely love the amazing content i see .  

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 8 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 3k

genre: fluff, slice of life

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: making out, more fake texts (please politely ignore that it's facebook messanger it's the only fake text app I could find that's actually functional), nina tries hoovering, nina is generally a messy bitch, kourtney is a good friend, ricky is a sappy down bad bitch

summary: you and Ricky spend the night before opening having a classic sleepover at your place. Ricky falls even harder for you. Nini follows a hunch.

song recs: when you're home - in the heights, better left unsaid - ariana grande, research me obsessively - crazy ex girlfriend soundtrack/brittany snow, home is in your eyes - greyson chance

a/n: I WAS SO EXCITED TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER I LISTENED TO THE WIZARD AND I FOR HOURS CAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY SONG THAT COULD MATCH MY TRIUMPHANT ENERGY. as always thank you to cici for beta reading next part posted at 10 good reviows prepz fuk off xxx666xxx. been reading more my immortal if you couldn't tell. I, like profesor trevolry, am too adikted 2 volxemortserum.

tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @brinaslittlefreak @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

Sleepovers at your place are something that’s become a staple in Ricky’s life, and he doesn’t think he’s ever needed one more than tonight. It’s the one night the whole cast has off before opening night, so of course you’re going to spend it together. Tech week was one of the most intense things Ricky has ever experienced. It was one week straight spent at the El Rey, doing homework in between scenes, getting used to costumes, sets, lights, and props, and more importantly, getting used to all of it together. The first full run through felt surreal. If the last few rehearsals had been that exhausting and amazing and exciting, he can’t imagine how great opening night will be. 

So what better way to decompress from a week straight of late nights and re-running the same numbers and scenes and working out the kinks, than being where he is right now. Ricky sits on your bed across from you while you sort through the snacks you’d picked up. There’s a comfortable, cozy energy between you, like there usually is. This is exactly what you both need, he thinks. A relaxing, fun night together before you gear up for show time. You’re trying to contain your excitement, but he can see it simmering, growing stronger in the back of your mind. 

The door opens and your mom enters, holding the last few DVDs of shows you’ve been in. 

“Took me a little while to find them, but here’s Matilda - regular, and the stripped down version - and Fun Home.” She smiles, beaming the way she does whenever she talks about you performing. 

“Thanks mom,” you smile at how excited she and Ricky are about your shows. Ricky looks at the titles in her sharpie handwriting on the plastic cases, excitement fluttering through him at getting to see more of you performing. It might be corny to say, but you’re definitely his favorite actor.

“Which ones have you seen so far?” she asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway, happy to have someone to brag about you with and talk about your shows. Ricky lists off all the musicals you’ve watched together over the last few days. 

“...And we just finished Tuck Everlasting.” 

“That one’s my favorite!” she gasps, beaming, and Ricky agrees. He can see why; you brought the role of Winnie Foster to life, and he can’t believe it had such a short run. She’s about to leave, when she remembers the paperwork she dropped off at city hall earlier. 

“Oh, by the way,” she starts, “I heard back from Mitch in permits and zoning, and all the paperwork was expedited. Everything you need to perform at the El Rey has been approved, and you got a green light for opening night!” You and Ricky start yelling and freaking out - exactly what she expected - and you jump off your bed to squeeze her in a tight hug. 

“Thank you!” you cheer, and Ricky echos. 

“Of course!” she smiles.

“That’s amazing!” Ricky beams, “My dad said it might not be ready in time.” 

“Well,” she continues, “I may have pulled a few strings to get it expedited…” 

She barely gets the sentence out before you’re loudly thanking her again. 

“Okay, okay,” she says, calming down your cheers and heading for the door with a smile “have fun you guys.” 

She closes the door, and you’re alone again. He takes in a breath, embracing this moment, here in your room with you. He looks at your decorations, the snowglobe on your bookshelf, the posters on the wall and polaroids taped to your mirror. The jacket you had been wearing earlier is now tossed on the back of your desk chair, and your backpack is still where you’d dropped it earlier when you got home. 

He’s overwhelmed with that big warm feeling in his chest he gets whenever he’s around you. He loves your room, loves sleepovers with you, loves… he chokes down the thought. He can feel the urge to spill his guts, to bear his soul, but he shoves it down. As easy as it would be to pull you close and kiss the breath out of your lungs and tell you everything he’s ever felt for you, he knows the timing isn’t right. He fights temptation, helping you unbag the rest of the snacks you got to distract himself from the unspoken words he’s barely holding back. You hand him the stack of DVDs and your fingers brush. His heart jumps at the contact. 

"Here," you say, "pick one out." You smile with that easygoing energy that's become so familiar to him. Sleepovers have been a pretty regular occurrence for a while now, and they still fill him with a warm, bubbling excitement. He decides which one he wants to watch first, and you slide the disc into your laptop. 

“Oh wow,” he starts laughing at the grainy camera quality, “Matilda caught in 4k.” 

“Shut up,” you laugh, nudging him playfully, “this was from, like, 10 years ago.” 

At first it was hard to look past the sketchy camera quality and low volume of the bootlegs - or slime tutorials as you jokingly called them - but now he’s learned to see past it. He latches on quickly to your singing, feeling himself get sucked into the story right away. He’s seen another version of you performing as Matilda, but this one is the infamous stripped down one. Even though he knows the reasons behind the drastic set change, the critics were right - it does add something to the way the story is told. He realizes that even though they’ve kind of been flying by the seat of their pants to make it to opening night, it will still turn out okay.

After watching Matilda, you practice your stage makeup, and have Ricky help you pick out the perfect shade of Sharpay pink nail polish. You had put on High School Musical - it was practically obligatory - and you made it about 15 minutes into the sequel before you were in Ricky’s lap. His lips are all over you, pressing into yours, your neck, your cheek. He squeezes your waist, arms snaking around to pull you closer to him. He bites your lip playfully, getting you to gasp a little, and pushes his tongue into your mouth. Your hands are on his face, in his hair, and he can’t get enough of your touch. He lets out a soft moan into your mouth, angling his head to deepen the kiss. 

Your phone buzzes as he pulls away, kissing down your neck. He runs his tongue over your skin, biting, and making you giggle. You get so flustered when he kisses you like this, and he absolutely loves watching you get more worked up for him. You glance down, seeing the notification from the pizza place you ordered from on your phone. 

“Ricky,” you start, and he hums in response, biting your neck again, “Ricky, the-” 

You’re cut off by a knock at the door. He pulls away reluctantly, and you take in each other’s disheveled states. 

“Pizza guy.” you finish, getting off his lap to go down stairs. He sighs, staring at the doorway you just disappeared through. He’s still full of that frenetic energy he gets when you touch him. You look so sweet when you’re blushing and giggling for him, he wants to make you even more flustered like that. His phone buzzes with a text from Nini. He’s still getting used to seeing her contact without the hearts that always used to be around it.

Before he can finish typing out a response, you reenter the room holding up pizza and breadsticks triumphantly. He smiles and sets his phone face down. He wants to be here with you, eating pizza and watching sitcoms, trying not to get too nervous and excited about how close opening night is. The only drama he wants to think about right now is the onstage kind. 

Nina sits on her bed, homework forgotten as she rants to Kourtney over facetime. Ricky left her on read. Again. He never used to do that, not until he started hanging around you. Kourtney’s been listening to her talk about you to death for at least an hour, and she’s out of ways to respond. 

“I am so done talking about this.” Nini laughs, shaking her head. 

“Good, cause-” 

“It’s just, like,” she continues, and Kourtney thinks she should have known where that was going. It was at least the third time Nini declared she was done with the topic at hand. Nini continues, “do you think hanging out a couple times gives you the right to be so possessive over someone?” 

In the time they’ve been facetiming she’s cleaned her room, picked out her clothes for tomorrow, and finished her homework. She’s half way through her skincare routine, and secretly hoping this will wrap up soon so she can get some rest for tomorrow. 

“Like, last summer Ricky went on dates with a few girls - not just hanging out - and by the start of school he only wanted to be with me. So, really she’s just making herself look desperate. It’s just sad that he’s going to dump her soon and come back to me like he always does, and she’ll have no idea it’s coming. Like, that’s going to be really embarrassing for her, right?” the faux sympathy in her voice turns into a chuckle. 

Kourtney’s brow furrows. In spite of how sick she is of hearing about this, she can’t shake the feeling that you and Ricky are obviously closer than two people who have just hung out a few times. She’s seen the way you look at each other, the way you talk to each other. People who feel platonically about each other don’t do that. 

“Uh, Neen, what exactly did she say?” she tries to sound casual so Nini doesn’t get suspicious, but she’s so wrapped up in her train of thought, she doesn’t notice the I have a hunch about something look Kourtney always gets when she suspects something is up. 

“She was like, uh,” she begins in an exaggerated impression of you, “we like, totally hooked up a couple times, but we haven’t made anything official, but that still means he only likes me. Also you dumped him, so… like, you have no right to be in his life anymore, and he basically hates you now.” 

Kourtney squints. Through Nini’s very biased recount of the exchange you had, if any of that was verbatim, if you really did tell her you hooked up with Ricky… what kind of hooking up did you mean? Nini seems to think it’s the casual meeting up kind - let’s all hook up at denny’s after the show -  but Kourtney isn’t so sure. It’s none of her business, it’s really none of her business. Plus, pointing this out to Nini would just make her even more obsessed and freaked out than she is. She needs to move on from Ricky, and the last thing Kourtney wants to do is make that harder for her. She and Ricky aren’t together, and she’s certainly not going to be the one to enable any prying or backsliding, intentional or not. Instead, she redirects. 

“Uh… I don’t think she can cut you out of his life for him.”

“Right?!” Nini exclaims, glad someone agrees with her. “Like, we’ve known each other since kindergarten. I’ve known him longer than anyone. You can’t get that close to someone that fast.” She sighs. “Also… there’s something about her that’s been bothering me…” Kourtney scoffs.

“What about her doesn’t bother you?”

“No, no,” Nini laughs, thinking back, “it was something Gina said…” it's been itching in the back of her mind for a while, and she can't ignore it any longer. She has to finally figure this out. She shakes her head, knowing she shouldn't keep Kourtney up any longer. "It's probably nothing. Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow night, Kourt." 

"Okay. Night, Nini." 

Finally, she hangs up. She should go to sleep. She has a big day tomorrow - it's opening night for god's sake - she should go to bed. Instead she opens her laptop, typing 'broadway matilda basement flood' into the search bar. She clicks on one article, then another. Eventually she finds a picture of three girls in matching Matilda costumes and is hit hard by nostalgia. She was obsessed with Matilda when she was a kid, always begging her moms to take her to New York so she can audition and be a Matilda on Broadway, be part of the friend group of other girls her age acting on Broadway together. The girl on the right was always her favorite, and she used to watch the backstage videos she was in for broadway.com vlogs all the time. She completely forgot about her Matilda phase, how obsessed she was with those girls. 

She looks at the caption of the photo, caught off guard by her favorite's name. It’s the same as yours. But that can't be you, right? The last names are different. And her parents are divorced. She remembers when you mentioned it at rehearsal once. She opens another tab, continuing to search for an answer. Hours pass and she's deep into the Google rabbit hole. Hours pass, and she confirms it’s you. You played Matilda on frigging Broadway. After extensive research, she pieces together that you and your mom both had you last names changed to her maiden name, presumably after the divorce, and it doesn't look like you've acted professionally since. She opens the same tabs on her phone to look at later. She shuts her laptop and flops back into her pillows. She stares at the ceiling in disbelief that you've somehow managed to keep a secret this massive from everyone. 

After eating a majority of the pizza and breadsticks, drinking several cups of tea, and watching some more Netflix, you and Ricky are finally ready for bed and curl up under the covers with each other. You're lying up next to his chest, your body heat minglinf together, and he doesn't think he's ever felt more at peace. Your hand is warm through his shirt, and he keeps pressing kisses across your face just to hear your sweet giggle. You smile at him, blinking sleepily, and when he looks into your eyes he feels it. He's home. He gazes at your face, enamored, never wanting to look away. You look so pretty like this, curled up next to him and half asleep. He's learned to tell when he's going to sleep really well and it's always on nights like this. He never knew how badly he needed to feel his breath sync up with yours, feel your hearts beating in time. He can't imagine being more content than he is right here, with you. Even the air in your room smells sweet to him, just because you're here so often. 

He thinks back, running through the whole night again, returning again and again to being right here with you. Every moment with you is amazing. You have this way of transforming the mundane into something special. He’s still in disbelief that he’s the one who gets to lay next to you at the end of the day, he's the one you have whispered conversations with when you're both stupid tired. He gets to be the one to make you giggle and smile over nothing. He remembers a tweet he saw a while ago that said 'You're in her dms, I'm dancing in the kitchen with her while the bread we made bakes. We're not the same.' You might not be in the kitchen right now, but he really understands the sentiment right now. You're cuddled into his chest, melting into his touch, blushing and hiding your face when he looks at you too long like that. It’s him, not some other guy. He doesn't think other guys could be as devoted to you as he is, they couldn't love you the way he can, the way you deserve to be loved. 

He's really glad you're with him and not with some fuckboy who would just want you for your body and break your heart. The idea that anyone could even think about doing that to you, even some hypothetical fuckboy, makes him sick. You're so sweet, so easy to love. He doesn't know how everyone you've met hasn't fallen in love with you, how every guy isn't throwing themselves at you. A twinge of jealousy passes through him at the thought. He brushes the thought aside, reminding himself that you're here with him. As if proving his point, you set aside your favorites squishmallow to cuddle him closer and his heart feels like it's going to burst. Girls don't do that if they don't really… really like someone, right?

You settle against him and let out a big sigh. He's had enough sleepovers with you to know that means you're about to be out like a light. He is too, and he fights off his heavy eyelids long enough to get one more good look at you before they close. He smiles as he starts to drift off. This is his favorite part, getting to fall asleep next to you do he can wake up next to you, just like he wants to forever. He can't imagine a morning where he doesn't get to see you, doesn't get to hold you in his arms, and he doesn't want to. He brushes that aside, and focuses instead on how nice you smell, how comforting your breath is on his neck. You're so warm, you make him feel so warm, and he can't get enough of your body heat and his becoming one under the mass of blankets. He doesn't know what tomorrow will hold, but he's so excited to experience it, to have his very first opening night with you. 

[inkabelledesigns]

February 4th of 2023 marks the thirteen year anniversary of when I started my first sketchbook. So to celebrate, I decided to redraw the first OC that ever went in that original book: Hearts. I’m about to get really sappy under the cut.

I’m really bad at remembering dates, but this one sticks out in my mind. I remember being on my bed doodling this out, excited to finally throw something down on the page. At the time, one of my best friends had drawn Hearts out, but it wasn’t quite as I had envisioned her. I had been frustrated that I couldn’t articulate my vision, so naturally, stubborn 13 year old me decided the only way to get there was to learn to draw for myself. I uh, didn’t quite hit the mark for a long time, but this first sketch was important. Little did I know it was gonna take me on a journey that would last for so long (and is still ongoing)!

Hearts was a Sonic fan character originally. A baby blue hedgehog with pyrokinesis, defender of a world known as Planet Paradise and the leader of a resistance against a tyrannical king. She never met up with Sonic, they didn’t really exist in the same world, the visual style was just the same in my mind, and the stories were reminiscent of things I liked in the Sonic stories. The secret royalty backstory from Sonic Underground, the Werehog phase of Sonic Unleashed, the interstellar wonders of Sonic Colors (whose soundtrack I listened to all throughout drawing this tonight), it was all there. She was my whole world as a middle schooler.

Nowadays, I’ve re-imagined her to fit in what became of my other former Sonic project, Tales of Sunburst City, a world full of elemental heroes rising up against Tumult, leader of the Anti-Sync, to protect their home and the elements of nature. I think Hearts would work well as a fire elemental with hedgehog attributes. She’s sassy, she’s punk, but she’s always there to lend a hand. I can see her getting along with main protagonist Vibrance Echo very well.

I haven’t worked on her story in years. I had someone in middle school who kept stealing my book and inserting their stuff into mine without consent to make their characters the heroes of my stories, and another person who would also steal it and graffiti all over my art. It made me feel the need to keep it under wraps for a long time. I took forever to open up about my stories, and to improve as an artist. I got bullied within my fandom for not being very good at my craft (especially when I asked for help, I was laughed at), and because as someone who was pretty obviously bad at reading social situations/on spectrum, I was an easy target. That would go on from middle school all the way to college online. But I was determined through it all to become the best artist I could be and love my work. I had dreams of working on something for SEGA someday.

Look at where I am now. I’m standing here after 13 years, and finally, I’ve gotten somewhere. For one thing, I finally drew her hair the way I wanted it! X’‘‘D It took forever to figure out, but we did it, I’m so proud of that! But for another, look at where I’ve ended up as a person. I finally feel comfortable sharing my stories with my friends, and not only do they listen, but they’re interested in what I have to say. They encourage me to keep going. They’re there to help me when I get stuck, and I’ve learned so much from them that’s improved my art and writing game, especially in this last year. From nutcrackers to Bendy, I have a place where I’m happy and fulfilled. Thank you to my friends, you light up my life in so many ways, words can’t do it justice. <3 And it doesn’t matter if a hundred people or just a few see my stuff, I’m learning to love it and make it just for me. I’m closer now to creating the things I want than I ever have been before, overcoming the fear to just be myself. I have hope that maybe I can in fact write my books and tell my stories.

And it’s not just one art form where my skills have improved. It’s been noticeable across all my mediums. I have a bunch of new horizons that are being explored. I’ve gotten some cool voice roles that I never would’ve fathomed years ago. I tried cosplaying for the first time (in private, not ready to be public with that). I have improved on my dolls so much. And my digital illustration has been so much better! I’m getting better at using references, and my lip and nose game? Top notch! I even got to use some of my graphic design and illustration skills to help with the very first Bendy Fambassadors project! That still feels like a dream, the fact that I got to work with the voice actors for one of my favorite game series is AMAZING, and the fact that I can call some of them my friends and say I’m getting to know them as people? That’s the coolest thing ever! I’m so much more confident than I used to be, I finally proved to myself that I could do it. I am an artist, I belong here amongst the people whose work I look up to. I am amazing, I am beautiful, I am kind, I am compelling, I am FREE!

To all the artists out there that are insecure and finding their way, I can say with full confidence, it DOES get better. Yeah, I still have days where I crumble and fall apart, where nothing looks right and I’m in agony over my creations. But they aren’t the same as they used to be. You are the master of your own ship. Chart your course and weather the storm, take that high seas adventure! Find yourself somewhere along the way. There is so much treasure waiting for you, and you will find it. I’m a first believer that anyone can be artist. We can be so much more. Don’t be afraid to go out there and reach for the stars. You’ve got this!

[stardustanddaffodils]

feelin really sappy tonight n before i hop off and get to bed, just wanted to say hi and ask y'all - how are you doing? really, genuinely? what's on your mind, where are you at right now, what's your body telling to you - do you need anything? just a quick little check in with yourself - what's going on? i hope you're well, i am making you a cup of warm tea that tastes bittersweet and smells like a memory

you're all loved, you know that? i really hope you do. someone, somewhere in this godforsaken universe, cares about you. yes, YOU. you. you're loved, by someone or something, and maybe you don't know it or the person and they don't know it or you but it's still there it's still there and i hope you all know that - it's there. that love, that love for you - it's there.

ready? i want you to take a nice deep breath with me, in....two....three, and then let it out....two....three - there we go :) give yourself a nice warm hug alright? have you eaten enough, had enough water, gotten enough sleep, taken a movement break recently? take a moment to listen to what your body is telling you and then give it what it needs - it deserves it, you deserve it

it's going to be okay, yeah? i promise, maybe it doesn't feel that way now, but it really is going to be alright. for now, we just gotta keep breathing through it, and i'm so proud of you for doing that for so long. one foot in front of the other, love, you've got this. and if you're doing well right now, i'm so happy for you. you deserve it, you deserve to feel nice and receive the goodness that you give. i hope the sun always shines on your face like a kiss and when the rain comes i hope it washes away the hurt when it leaves, i hope that we can dance in it together. it's going to be okay.

take a deep breath, love. breathe in....two....three, out....two....three. you've got this. and you're loved. and you deserve every good thing you have and every good thing you are denying yourself. remember that, yeah? and if you can't, i'm always here with a reminder