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m0tiv8me · 2 years

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Ok fitfam this post is likely to run on but if you’ve followed me for any length of time or have a legit interest in your physical and mental health please keep reading. I’d really appreciate peoples feedback and input. And if you actually read all of this and respond (privately or publicly) it tells me you are legit interested in what I am suggesting.

Ok, here goes…I’ve been struggling this year with my own motivation and trying to find a way to reignite my own spark to workout consistently. In all reality I think I’ve made larger progress this year with my mental health and less so with my physical. All this mental work has been great but it’s taxing in its own regard and perhaps it has contributed to my lack of wanting to physically work out…I really can’t pin it on any one thing beside feeing bored with it all.

When trying to overthink ways to get myself excited about working out again one random idea jumped into my head. When I started training the network of people and support here on Tumblr provided accountability for my daily activities. It was fun and exciting having others cheer me on, comment on my progress and provide support. As time passed I did indeed progress more than I initially ever thought I would. Tumblr also changed ALOT. Many left or moved to other social platforms Like many of us still using this platform as our part or full time health minded soapbox we’ve become inundated with spam accounts, bots, sugar daddies, and the uncomfortable creepers and gawkers that lurk the Tumblr underworld. This can make posting anything with certain tags or our self feel risky and uncomfortable at times depending on your comfort level and tolerance for the aforementioned.

Enter my random thought…what about a PRIVATE Tumblr accountability page? Ok, I’ve tried private group blogs before and they all failed rather quickly. Mostly because people, including myself don’t have or want to take the time to post on their own personal blog PLUS a second blog, it just becomes more work than it’s worth. But how would this page be different you ask? This is where I look to the people interested in such a thing for thoughts and ideas. I have some of my own and here they are…

First off, it’s a private page, that people must ask to join and be provided a password to access. And not just a “hey I wanna join” request but some screening questions would need to be answered and considered prior to approval to better ensure members are truly interested. This shows you are serious and will use the page as intended and weeds out the spammers. gawkers and lurkers.

Next, I really want this page to be a safe space for accountability and a strong support group for all people of all ages and levels. Just starting out or been at it for years and everywhere in between. I want people to share their mental and physical progress, also their struggles. I want to create small mental and physical challenges weekly and monthly to keep us all engaged and supporting one another through action and results. I want people to feel comfortable posting and saying what they want without fear of trolls or creepers looking on. I want to feel inspired and help inspire through the actions of myself and others. I want to teach and learn through trial and error along side others and share those stories along side others. I want members to post and share from their own blog or use the space as a safe space for content they may not normally post publicly. I want it to be a judgement free zone but also an honest respectful one. I don’t want any adult or inappropriate content but do understand that physical progress does require sometimes seeing physical parts of a person. Keeping the group private and of like minded people should hopefully keep comments and feedback positive and respectful in nature. I don’t want people to be afraid of failing, I want them to share those failures amongst a group they trust and hopefully receive the support that helps them move past those failures and in a positive direction. I want to feel accountable for my physical and mental daily, weekly and monthly actions with people who want that same accountability.

Now, what do you want? What pitfalls or positives do you see such a page/group providing? Would you even consider joining such a page? If you did would you post to it regularly or on occasion? Why or why not? What could make something like this better in your mind for staying accountable and working towards your goals?

The thought of a group like this gets me excited to go workout again and share in a space free of what I dislike about publicly posting on Tumblr. I feel excited about doing little mini challenges with people in the group and keeping each other accountable. I feel liberated by being able to share failures or struggles without the concern of trolls piling on and chewing away at my mental state. I feel like something like this could really work…for me. BUT if you’ve read this far the ultimate question is do you think this could work for YOU? If the answer is yes I’d love to brain storm this even further and get the process of this becoming a reality in motion.

What says you??

tagging some long time fitfam mutuals. Even if this is something they have no interest in i value and respect their insights and would appreciate any thoughts on the idea. @bigbruthag @jacqattacq @fatmaninalittlesuit @fitnessgeekandcoffeefreak @idratherbehiking @healthymist @labrat-to-gymrat @cam-strong @weight-warrior @becoming-her-beast @ashtons-world @belovedgoofball @emmasternerradley @theroadbacktoboston @justhiitit

#feedback #fitfam #fitblr #mental health

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theabyssalmuses · 3 years

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Arknights Verse: Kirschtaria Wodime

In this re-imagining verse, Kirschtaria Wodime takes up the role of Rhodes Island lead Doctor. A completely different life, a completely different person than the same “Wodime” from Fate/Grand Order. Just what kind of life could he live in this new and different world?

For other Doctor roleplayers, I am happy to diminish his status to that of Medical Staff / General Assistant if you wish, or we can simply have two doctors or something. Whatever you’re most comfortable with! :)

anyways this is long lol be prepared.

Wodime was born to a wealthy family in the city of Victoria. He was cared for, and his every want and need was catered to. Even so, he had no friends growing up, as his family were very wary of threats from outside.

His father is the CEO of Kirsch Corp, an extremely wealthy business that, on top of owning several other businesses, is well known for their incredibly luxury hotels all across Terra- a favourite of nobles, aristocrats, lords and the like.

Deep within the bowels of this company, though, something far more shady lurks. Their latest innovation, a series of large, flying hotels for only the elite of the elite to visit- but yet the CEO is not satisfied.

The true goal of Kirsch Corp? Space. The Skies above. Their use of originium for vertical propulsion is steadily progressing, and they soon hope to be able to exit this planet and find another - one free from the scourge of Oripathy...

...of the infected.

Kirsch corp, by it’s nature, from it’s CEO down to it’s secretary, are anti-infected. It’s only a thinly veiled secret- those higher in society believe it all to be for a good cause, while the infected are down trodden, and are told they are what they are fleeing from.

However. The CEO - Wodime’s Father - grew ill. It was not with Oripathy, and he was expected to recover in some time...however, for the time being, Wodime himself was pushed to cover public appearances for the company. It was at this time he was assigned a body guard - Neptune - for his own sake. Just in case.

Wodime did his best to please the public, to give the best image of their company that he could, however...he always felt something was wrong.He was told they would leave this world, for somewhere far more beautiful...but what? What was that beauty?

Months past. And then years. Wodime’s father never full recovered, remaining mostly out of the public’s sight. However, his extended isolation, his own greed and own twisted psychology...saw something. Wodime, in his position as public face- he saw his own son as a competitor. He belived that Wodime sought to take over the company. He saw it now- as he spoke to the crowds, they all thought HE should be the head. Hah. No. Certainly not. Wodime’s father gave Neptune a day off - which he reluctantly accepted...and on that very same day...

--BLAM--

The bullet pierced Wodime’s chest, causing him to fall backwards-- still alive. As the assassin reloaded, the man sent by his own Father to kill him- Wodime activated his arts -- A teleport of a short distance. It was out of control. It was unpredictable...and then his vison went black. Below the streets, in the maintenance tunnels is where he awoke. A dirty rag covered him, and the stench of rot filled the air. Disgusting. Repulsive. He tried to move, but struggled with even that- he was weak. And so there he lay for some time. Waiting for death to take hold...when he heard footsteps. Far from the killers he was expecting, a small infected boy appeared from the tunnels, holding a small piece of bread. He broke a piece off, before placing it beside Wodime - and then retreating to the otherside of the room and eating his bread silently.

This was..how things were for a time. Stale bread. Cold sleeping. Dirty Water. It was terrible. It was awful. And yet- Wodime saw it. In the eyes of that little infected boy, who nary spoke a whisper- there was a beauty.

A beauty in life - in wanting to live - in living, no matter what.

It was beautiful. Even through the pain, and the suffering, he managed to smile. His will restored, he pushed himself to get up. to get moving, to go. To get out of here...and after some time, he finally managed to stand for the first time in months.

Still, he stayed for a time longer, wishing to get his bearings, and ensure his assailants would not return...and it was in this time that the small infected boy - who’s name Wodime did not know - collapsed. His Oripathy gripped his small, frail body- which no longer had the strength to fight, no longer was there beauty in life- only agony and terror.

He did the only thing he could think to do. Wrapping his saviour in that same ragged blanket, he took to the streets of Victoria. Late at night, he scoured through the darkened roads for help, and by some stroke of luck-- he found it.

Luck...or perhaps Fate? Who can say? There was a large transport vehicle headed away from Victoria - full of the sick and weak - going to a place called ‘Rhodes Island’. Wodime boarded, blending in as best he could with the crowd, and began his journey...

His arrival at Rhodes Island was...interesting. People stationed outside the main landship eyed him with scrutiny as he strode inside. (the anti-infected ways of his father’s company weren’t exactly secret.) but even so, he faced it head on. Stepping inside he asked, begged and pleaded for help for his friend. Swearing to protect the infected, of course the boy was administered for care...and relieved, Wodime turned to leave...before collapsing himself.

Waking up in intensive care, The Doctor of Rhodes Island stood beside him. For Wodime, he was terrified- something about this person chilled him to the bone. Yet for The Doctor, Wodime was someone of interest. They had no expected someone from such a sheltered life could...act in this way. Someone of high stature, someone so deeply in grained into the anti-infected rhetoric. And yet, Kirschtaria Wodime sat- barely recovered, talking as if the fate of the infected was his responsibility. “The lives of the infected..matter to me! I wont allow anyone to discount that! No matter what...I... want to protect that beauty found in Life!”

Wodime, who had long since searched for the beauty his father spoke of, found it nesting in the eyes of what his father despised.

The Doctor, who was a master of the chessboard...The kings, queens, pawns and knights-- had come across a Joker Card. Something unexpected. Something new. From an entirely different game.

In the months that followed, The Doctor hung around Wodime alot. A sick curiosity, perhaps. As they shared time, Wodime learnt more of The Doctor’s tactical prowess - and yet. Wodime refused to back down on his belief; All Life Was Sacred.

To The Doctor- who was twisted beyond recognition of themselves...what a breath of fresh air...Not enough to save themselves, not someone they could call a friend...but, if the situation called for it...

Another King on the board. Another player in the game. A spare piece.

It was by [redacted]’s request that Wodime be placed into Cryo alongside The Doctor...however, when only Wodime recovered from the freezing...it was only natrual that the baton be passed to him. His beliefs unwavering, yet his memories fuzzy - though not entirely gone, he carries the will of The Doctor, and he fights--

He fights for the beautiful world he had always searched for.

“--Welcome back, Doctor Wodime.”

#verse post #Kirchstaria Wodime: Grand Order - Animusphere #Doctor Wodime: To Find beauty in it all.#ANYWAY #this is very #uhm!#self indulgent #i just wondered what it would be like to have him in this univverse because his character is very interesting to me #and his original fate backstory #actually ported over really well (As you can see!)#so! it's fun!#but YEAH if u rp a doctor we can work around this however u want u dont HAVE to make yours be his friend or whatever #you can have yours not remember him at all!#or ..!#i can make him just a general assistant or med staff or smthn!!#i REALLY dont mind!!! whatever makes u happiest friends do not hesitate to lmk #or we can just have 2 doctors u kno whatever #this does work well with this considering ''the doctor'' still exists in his backstory it's not as if he replaces them entirely #anyways! myes #Wodime in Arknights #who will stop me :)#Hope you enjoy!#this is his backstory by the waey #heheheh

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jafreitag · 5 years

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Grateful Dead Monthly Extra: The Story of the GDC

Did you guys know that I’m a gang member? I am. True story.

In 2002, I moved from Chicago to the suburbs and finally got home internet. It wasn’t fast (DSL), but good enough to surf the web. Napster was a hollow shell of its former self, but other dark(er) arts were emerging – torrents, download services, etc. I didn’t know about any of that. I still bought cds otr. I was rediscovering the Grateful Dead, and discovering Phish, and I found a place where people chatted about both – the Phantasy Tour message boards.

I visited the Phish one (PT Phish or just PT), mostly, because it was super active. I registered and got posting privileges, but didn’t have the nerve to jump in and actually chat. The frequent posters – with super h3++y usernames from lyrics I didn’t recognize – had all seen Phish umpteen times, and I hadn’t seen them once yet. I was still locked on Farmhouse and Round Room. So I lurked, basically, and took what I learned there and on phish.net to help decipher the Live Phish series.

Eventually, I found my voice, and that had nothing to do with the band. It’s hard to describe peak ’03-04 PT. There were alot of threads unrelated to music (Kon and Pucplaya, yo). I frequented ones about post-modern lit, and eventually established what my online pal NolanRyanHatesYou called the C-List Massive. We weren’t the most popular posters; we weren’t the least popular. We were the PT version of h.s. Honors English geeks. If you wanted to talk about Pynchon or John Barth or DFW, then you were welcome. Otherwise, fuck off. Noly and I, and a nice group of other folks (hey, Tabs and Phoo) riffed and mocked and generally annoyed people who weren’t into our particular jam. I remember posting a sweet long and passionate rant about why “it” matters. Dunno anymore what “it” was, but Dave Eggers was involved, and he definitely didn’t matter. It did. It probably still does. Anyway.

There was a regular poster on PT who started a thread about a different GD show every day. He didn’t visit my obnoxious book-worm threads, but I visited his. Soon enough, other like-minded people gravitated into our weird orbit. At some point, I asked that guy if he would be into a mining expedition: Digging through the Dead’s library on the Live Music Archive, which then included most of their shows in pristine soundboard recordings (downloadable lossless format, if that still makes sense), to find hidden gems. I proposed compiling a list of 100 shows that weren’t famous famous like Cornell (5/8/77) or Veneta (8/27/72), but were under-the-radar amazing. The guy said yes, so we all geared up and tromped off. We called our weird spot on PT the “Grateful Dead Clubhouse.” And, patterned off Twin Peaks’ Bunkhouse Boys (in my mind, anyway), we became the GDC crew. Our virtual mascot/pet was a goat. I don’t remember why.

Over the course of a year or so, we listened to most of the Dead’s archive. There were parameters, so the end result would be representative of the band’s entire career. We could’ve picked 50 from 1971-74, and at least another 10 from 1977 alone, but we spaced it out. Transport to the Top GD Archive Shows HERE.

Having spent so much freaking time together online, and learning our individual preferences/blind spots (along with a lot of personal stuff), we kept it going. 100 shows was easy. What about the Top Ten versions of (almost) every notable song or segment? What about the Top 31 versions of the jams? Yeah. We did that, too. We called each one a project, and the whole thing our projects.

Then life happened. We drifted away from PT (jobs, kids, whatever), and stopped listening. I mean, we kept listening to the Dead; we just stopped listening together like we used to. (Our last project was Bertha or Lovelight? We started something else, maybe Good Lovin’, but never finished it.) Over the years, we kept touch via text and email. One of us, DireWolf600, even started a website – gratefuldeadprojects.com (the header image was the home page) – to document what we compiled. He updated us about hits/traffic, and we responded with enthusiasm. Thing is, though, websites like that aren’t free. When the bill came due, and we didn’t pay, all of our stuff disappeared.

DW recently found it via a wayback internet thing that I don’t understand. The point is that our projects still exist. I’ll post them here tomorrow without a long-winded preface. (A lot of them have their own long-winded prefaces written by moi.) I’m pretty sure that all the links in tomorrow’s post are solid, and I’m also pretty sure that the links within the links are, too. Clicking on a few random ones, there was a lag for me, so be patient. Everything seems to work just exactly perfectly.

More soon.

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#IFTTT #WordPress

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thepcoslife · 7 years

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Intuitive Eating

My story is long- But here is how I went from a disordered eating pattern caused by the stressors and pressors of the PCOS dieting world and now thrive in a life eating abundantly.

It starts back in college- sitting in my dorm room eating chocolate flavored rice cakes with gallons of water to puff them up and feed my starving, overexercised PCOS pudgy body. I was done. So done of stressing about my size, about working out twice a day in a stinky gym I hated and constantly counting everything I ate. So I stopped. I stopped stressing and fighting my PCOS and I just started living my PCOS life.

Hiking, frisbee, strength class, yoga- I started having fun and when it came down to eating I listened to what my body wanted. I found easy to prepare foods from frozen to meet my hectic life- I went to the grocery store and spent HOURS learning about all the flavors and snacks to enjoy. My stress went down, my food intake went up and my weight DROPPED. I started a process called Intuitive Eating- without even knowing thats what I was doing. I lost 45# on my small 5'5" frame and people started asking. What are you doing? How did you do it? And my answer is always the same- I stopped fighting PCOS and starting living my PCOS life. And thats where this all started- but more on that in another post.

I stayed at this weight for years- 8 to be exact. Of course I never knew exactly how my PCOS was doing since it was being masked by sprinolactone and birth control bills. Of course my eating changes throughout the years, I was now done with college and had a degree in Nutrition- also IBS and gallbladder problems made me restrict some foods a little here and there. My weight started to creep up a little bit, but I thought it was due to age, not my new resctricted diet.

Last year I started with a new doctor who challenged me to really LOOK at where my PCOS is. I stopped all medication and the first thing she told me to do is EAT- alot. My labs showed my body thought it was starving. From years of disordered eating- my body started holding onto food since it never know when or where it was going to get the food from. I thought I was eating plenty- heck I was eating WAY more than when I was in college- I thought my intuitive eating was enough, but the doctor said EAT so I did. And I ate, and ate and ate. Month after month she would check my labs and keep telling me to eat, my body wasnt seeing it yet ( of couse good to note I did have insulin resistance and a pill was needed to keep my BS in check while this process was going on- a doctor was needed). And after 4 months of eating the most I have ever eaten in my life- every 2-3 hours- I got my period!! I have never had a natural period in my 27 years- until then. And I kept getting it- every 2 months. My last check up- ALL my PCOS markers were negative. My body started its own fight- and all it needed was food. Now I know not everything works for everybody. And there are SOOOO many different types of metabolic differences with PCOS- we are all human and we are all different. But I wanted to share my story. I am now starting the process of IVF- and it is all possible with food. LOTS of it!

So what is Intuitive Eating? This is from IntuitiveEating.com-created by two fellow RDNs (Registered Dietitian Nutritionist) who make it simple to understand.

10 Principles of Intuitive Eating 1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating. 2. Honor Your Hunger Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food. 3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt. 4. Challenge the Food Police .Scream a loud “NO” to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating minimal calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating. 5. Respect Your Fullness Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you’re comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level? 6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence–the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you’ve had “enough”. 7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won’t solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You’ll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating. 8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape. 9. Exercise–Feel the Difference Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it’s usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time. 10 Honor Your Health–Gentle Nutrition Make food choices that honor your health and tastebuds while making you feel well. Remember that you don’t have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It’s what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts.

So why AM I TELLING YOU ALL OF THIS! I think in the PCOS world its easy to get swept up in the "food is bad" philosophy. But food is good- SO good. I know eating every 2-3 hours, listening to your bodies cravings and being stress-free about your weight and excercise is not possible for everyone- and its NOT the right treatment for everyone- but I think learning to LIVE life is! It so easy to get stuck thinking we need to FIGHT this PCOS but really we just need to LIVE it. I hope The PCOS Life will start to show you that my PCOS life can be different than your PCOS life- but in the end we can enjoy it and just LIVE it.

The PCOS Life is being revamped- Im bringing it back to its roots- and why I even created this in the first place. To share my love for food and my knowledge as a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist with all of you- Live your PCOS life, The creator of The PCOS Life- Kelsi (RDN, LDN)

#PCOS #PCOS diet #PCOS nutrition #pcosawareness #intuitiveeating

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nrsranger · 3 years

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3.1

CHAPTER Three Readjust

The New Republic MC-80 Star Cruiser, Ranger (NRS-67) a flying city of Mon Calamari Steal, Measuring in at 1,550 meters long, this Cruiser servers as both Cruiser and Carrier, housing squadrons of A, X, and Y Wing Star Fighters. This ship serves as a flying home for 10,200 Officers, Pilots, Engineers and Crew members. This ship is formidable on and off the Battlefield. Now a new threat is lurking in the fringes of the galaxy. The Ranger’s enemies can be lurking anywhere and everywhere, there is nowhere to hide when the battle is all around you

Coordinates N-13

Deep Space

Night Owl Squadron

0924 hrs

Three Y-wings flew in a formation of four groups of three Y-wings. Dovinivan Castile Night Owl Six callsign Credits glanced at the scanner on his right were the two other Y-Wings that made up his patrol, he and his gunner “4” made up the left side of the formation. Making up the right position was Night Owl Seven, Fluaid Daunt callsign Hotshot and his gunner Noss Dor, the Kel Dor gunner with the fitting callsign of Mask. The patrol leader was the squad Flight L.t Mac, he had no last name on his official record but his callsign was Cheese, with the gunnar Micran Debim callsign Mad covering his back. Just out of range to his right and left were the other patrols.

Credits’s Rodian gunner crackled over the comm “were now five hours and twenty four minutes into a eight hour patrol”

“Are you comfortable yet, four?” Credits asked

“Yeah, just board” Four’s Rodian voice said over the internal comm

“I’m going to bring up the Bantha in the room?” Credits said

“How so?” Four asked, acknowledging the many Banthas in the wake from the destruction of the Hosnian System to the rumors that every other Star System has either surrendered or fallen.

“What does your family think about having all four of yall assigned to the same ship” Credits asked

“Well not for much longer,” Four said

“What?!” Credits asked

“Grunnd is staying with the Night Owls, Leoin is transferred to the Torrent’s Y-Wing Squad, and Locatha got his qualification for X-Wing Pilot and is joining the Raysho Station Defence Squadron.” Four explained somberly

“....and what about you, buddy?” Credits asked

“I got orders that I am being transferred to the Theed’s Y-Wing Squadron, I would have told you sooner but this just came in recently, apparently Vine does not want all the sons of one mother on the same ship.” Four said

“I understand, but man I’m going to miss you guys alot, you guys accepted me into your family, heck Gosp Ma even yarned a sweater for me for life day. I just hope that the next guy could be half as talented as you” Credits said

“Ha ha, and I just hope my new pilot is twice as talented as you that way I only have to risk my life every other time I climb in” Four said

They both laughed that off, then went back to study their instruments and scanners.

“Patrol Squad, this is Firebird, is the Ranger Clear to Jump into sector N-13?”

“Firebird, This is P.L one; you are clear” Squad Leader Vines the leader of Patrol One

“Firebird, This is P.L two, stand by, I am getting some interesting readings” Credits’s Patrol Leader; Flight L.t Mac said”

“Roger P.L Two”. Firebird said

“Firebird this, is Patrol Leader Three, reporting clear” Sr. Pilot Officer Merrik said his voice betrays the lack of sleep he's had.

“Firebird, P.L Four here, we were clear too.”

“Roger, P.L Three, were standing by for P.L Twos clearance” Firebird said

“Got’cha!, Patrol Two, a ship is decloaking right above us, 3.4.2 Mark 6.0, 2 Kilos” Cheese said

“Roger,Cheese” I’m picking it up on scanners” Credits said “it’s transponder is reading as First Order”

“It does not appear that it has noticed us yet” Mask said.

“If it hasn’t yet, it soon will, Patrol Squadron Two, form a bombing lane on me” Cheese said, accelerating his Y-Wing and inverting so the bottom of his Y-wing faced the First Order Ship. Hotshot’s and Mask’s Y-wing pulled up behind Cheese and inverted as well, the Credits followed suit.

“If this is my last mission with you four, let's make it count” Credit said

“You better believe it,” Four said, spinning his turret to face the enemy ship.

“Follow my lead, we have to take it out before they can alert the First Order!! Or else we will have a lot of angrey company, and the Ranger and Torrent won’t come to our rescue” Cheese said, pushing his yoke down diving toward the First Order stealth ship. Hotshot waited ten seconds then pushed his yoke down. Credit waited ten seconds after Hotshot then pushed his yoke down.

Cheese took a breath and went over day one of learning how to make a bombing run, the magic angle was 70 degrees perpendicular to the target and to release the proton torpedoes 200 meters from the target, any further and the targeting computer could not guarantee an accurate hit, closer than 200 meters you risk not being able to come out of your dive. Cheese opened his targeting computer and selected the newly decloaked ship as its target, then his angle and distance appears on screen, he steepend his angle at 1,500 meters the Ship did not react,

“They have not noticed us yet, so let's take advantage of that.” Cheese said lucky, that his squad will have drawn the first, First Order Blood.

At 500 meters he ementy his mind and focused on when to press down the button to release the torpedoes. He felt his thumb tense and pressed the trigger as the yellow numbers counting down from 300 to 200 turned red as it counted down from 200. Cheese then pulled on the stick hard back peeling away from his vector, two purple torpedoes streaked from his bomb bay doors and scored two direct hits against the hull of the enemy ship crippling it.

“Their shields are down!” Mad, Cheese’s gunner said

Hotshot took his turn next, riding ten seconds behind Cheeses Y-Wing. Hotshot turned on his targeting computer and adjusted his dive angle and marked his distance at 1000 meters and waited patiently as his distance meter ran down from 1000 to 200 his finger rested over the firing button but as a random spasm jolted through his arm causing his hand to clench accidently pressing the button at 450 meters the two proton torpedoes fired and raced toward the crippled ship, but they only passed by harmlessly nothing more than two meters away from a hit.

Credit could feel the tension grow, it was up to him to knock out the stealth ship, if he missed they could alert the entire First Order Fleet that the New Republic was in bound. He pushed the pressure out of his mind, “now not the time to screw up because I got nervous” He thought to himself as he switched on his targeting computer. Currently his dive angle was at 80 degrees he pulled up just a bit to where his dive angle was at 60 degrees. By this time the Stealth Ship rolled over to bring their anti fighter craft batteries to bare. At 1000 meters the first laser bolts zoomed past Credits canopy, in return he grabbed his throttle and pushed it all the way forward, maxing out his speed. Next time he blinked he was at 500 meters and the laser fire was centimeters from his view, however he could not make any evasive maneuvers in fear of messing up his dive angle. At 300 meters he eased up on the throttle, then he saw his distance count switch from yellow to red. Credit waited for a few more seconds and the distance counted down from 200 to 150 to 130 to 120 to 110 at 100 meters he released his torpedoes and pulled out of his angle, maxing out his inertial dampers and scratching the paint off one of the rear engine units. It was a direct hit. The Proton Torpedo's initial explosion decapitated the ship cleanly in half , with secondary concussive explosions shredding the remainder of the ship and throwing shrapnel every which way. Due to his delay of releasing the torpedo until he was only 100 meters away, Credits Y-Wing was still in the blast zone when the ship disintegrated, it caught some of the shrapnel mostly in the rear engine units.

“Credit!Four! You guys alright!” Cheese inquired about his comm!”

A few heart pounding seconds later Fours Rodian voice broke through the comm

“Yes, sir, we're alive, our sublight engines are offline, but our hyperdrive is still active. Our hull and paint job took most of the shrapnell''

“Oh dear, Chief Canton is going to kill you for damaging one of his letter birds!” Cheese said

“P.L Two did the Stealth Ship send out any transmission?” Firebird asked

“Let me check the sensor logs, R5, did the ship send out any comm chatter?” Cheese asked his astromech.

“Bad new sir,” Cheese voice said quickly deflating from what was a quick victory to an loss “a message was beamed out before Credit could destroy it”

“Thank you Patrol Squadron Two,” Firebird’s voice said, more deflated than Cheese’s “good work Credit” he added. “First Blood,”

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jafreitag · 5 years

Text

Grateful Dead Monthly Extra: The Top 100

Did you guys know that I’m a gang member? I am. True story.

I visited the Phish one, mostly, because it was super active. I registered and got posting privileges, but didn’t have the nerve to jump in. The frequent posters – with super h3++y usernames from lyrics I didn’t recognize – had all seen Phish umpteen times, and I hadn’t yet seen them once. I was still locked on Farmhouse and Round Room. So I lurked, basically, and took what I learned there and on phish.net to help decipher the Live Phish series.

Eventually, I found my voice, and that had nothing to with the band. It’s hard to describe peak ’03-04 PT. There were alot of threads unrelated to music (Kon and Pucplaya, yo). I frequented ones about post-modern lit, and eventually established what my online pal NolanRyanHatesYou called the C-List Massive. We weren’t the most popular posters; we weren’t the least popular. We were the PT version of h.s. Honors English geeks. If you wanted to talk about Pynchon or John Barth or DFW, then you were welcome. Otherwise, fuck off. Noly and I, and a nice group of other folks (hey, Tabs and Phoo) riffed and mocked and generally annoyed people who weren’t into our particular jam. I remember posting a sweet long passionate rant about why “it” matters. Dunno anymore what “it” was, but Dave Eggers may have been the takedown target? It doesn’t matter. I mean, it probably still does, but whatever.

There was a regular poster on PT, fenmanNC, who started a thread about a GD show every day. He didn’t visit my obnoxious book-worm threads, but I visited his. We became friends, and soon enough other like-minded people gravitated into our weird orbit. There was BrobaFett (my real-life brother and now Chairman of the LN Board), Ashaman200 (OM), ECM (I can’t remember his PT handle), aweiss (he’s the LN seasonal playlist contributor), ribot for president (the weird NJ attorney who hated us, but loved the Dead), duanebase, mike_nimzo, and a dude who called himself DireWolf600.

At some point, I asked fen if he would be into a mining expedition. Digging through the Dead’s Live Music Archive, which then included most of their shows in pristine soundboard recordings (downloadable lossless format, if that still makes sense), to find hidden gems. 100 shows that weren’t famous famous like Cornell (5/8/77) or Veneta (8/27/72), but were under-the-radar amazing. Once fen said yes, we all geared up and tromped off. We called those PT threads the Grateful Dead Clubhouse. And, patterned off Twin Peaks’ Bunkhouse Boys, we became the GDC crew. Our virtual mascot/pet was a retarded goat with irritable bowel syndrome.

Over the course of a year or so, we listened to most of the Dead’s archive. There were parameters, so the end result would be representative of the band’s entire career. We could’ve picked 50 from 1971-74, and at least another 10 from 1977, but we spaced it out. I can’t remember exactly how many that we agreed for each era, but the list still exists. Transport to the Top GD Archive Shows HERE. (Thanks, BW.)

Then, having spent so much freaking time together online, and learning our individual preferences/blind spots (and a lot of personal stuff), we kept it going. 100 shows was easy. What about the Top Ten versions? Yeah. We did that, too, for 25 or so songs, duos/trios, and jam segments. We called each one a project, the whole thing our projects. And, ugh.

Second person with me for a bit. You and your friends spend a month or so hashing out the best such-and-such. And you make a list. And you go on to do the same for alot of such-and-suches. Like alot. And months of effort turn into years of effort. And also alot of lists.

Then one of your friends says, “Hey, I want to post all of this online as gratefuldeadprojects” or something like that. And you say, sure, rock it out. That friend does it, and it’s awesome. Cool art, links galore to the LMA, etc. And then he can’t pay his web host (why TF didn’t he ask us to contribute, or, why didn’t he use a free host like WordPress, where this here blog lives in perpetuity). And then the lists that you made are gone. Poof.

So you email that friend, “Hey, man, can you at least send me a word doc with the lists?” Just so the rest of us, and anybody else, can access them. That friend does not respond. That friend has disappeared. And you’re pissed. I’m pissed.

DireWolf600, where are you?

Send me the lists, please. I’ll post them here. We did that together, and we own it together. Our collective work should still have a home. Miss you. Hope you’re well.

More soon.

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