#i am down for anything just hit me up :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rotisseries · 6 months

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my insatiable curiosity would be my fatal flaw I believe because everyday I will catch myself on ao3 staring at the worst set of tags known to man like "oh that. that'll be FUCKING HORRENDOUSSSSS" and then I spend 5 minutes in a staring competition with the link to open it

#NONE OF THOSE FUCKING WORDS ARE IN THE BIBLE I'M NOT READING THATTTT #but it just sounds.... so unique... I have to know more #also not the fic this post is about but the other night I was looking at the sokka/jet/zuko tag to be funny #cause that sounds like the worst polycule of the century you know. mma ring. nightmare blunt rotation #so *naturally* I was curious what the tag would look like #THERE WAS AN 82 CHAPTER OMEGAVERSE FIC ABOUT SOKKA AND JET PICKING UP ZUKO LMAOOO #so OBVIOUSLY I was hitting up the tbostuals discord like hey how much would y'all pay me to read this #the answer is I probably would've done it for free I just would've taken them all down with me #AND WHYYYY. I HAVE SATIATED SAID CURIOSITY IN THE PAST I KNOW WHAT THOSE FICS ARE LIKE I WON'T FIND ANYTHING NEWWW #WHY AM I ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ITTTT #“lmao how would that even fucking work” <- bitch who is about to regret every life decision ever

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moonchild-in-blue · 1 month

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I spent the last, what, 1? 2 hours? Resetting my game over and over to convince Genji to move in to Pietro's place. Now that I've finally did it, I'm a little sad to see my sheep clown gone 🥲

#Pietro has been here for what. 3 years now? Yeah #but i need a jock to have the full personalities and pietro just doesn't fit in as nicely as the other two lazies 🥺#i picked up animal crossing again last night for the first time since Halloween and oof. im getting the itch again.#had to spend quite some time taking down Halloween decorations. thankfully not too many weeds to pick #i have a lot of paths and flowers so.#i forgot if anyone here plays acnh but if yall need anything hit me up 👍#my island is pretty much completed and i got plenty of spare materials and moneys and stuff #(i am 5 pieces away to have the art museum done. that's literally all that's left 😤)#animal crossing #acnh

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lesbiansanemi · 1 month

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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

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legionofpotatoes · 1 year

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been playing bits and pieces of horizon forbidden west! game's pretty as hell

#horizon forbidden west #photo mode #my edits #yannow. it got me thinking too. the npc fidelity in this game is off the fucking shits. never seen anything like it #even secondary dialogues are leaving all the competition in the dust. it's an insane level of work #major burnout red flags for sure. but also maybe talking about engines as specialized tools instead of ubiquitous ones isn;t so bad?#i mean there's definitely trends. ramming down RPGs down frostbite's throat has never worked well #while decima is tearing up the open worlds and tech fidelity quotas like nbd even on prev gen #is it really about implementation at this point #maybe some engines just. work best for certain types of hard goals. and choosing that right is what matters #i pkayed this after ragnarok and that game looks embarassing next to hfw. and I'm not even saying it flippantly. I stand by what i've said #shorter games less scope lower fidelity etc. for healthier dev teams. but this can be a scalability tell tale? maybe using something #like decima can mean an easier time for a standard EA dev cycle *without* hitting these insane fidelity goals. just thinking out loud #cause forever salty about frostbite. probably wrong but hey! I am on a blogging website famous for its phobia of deeper contexts #or maybe playing as aloy gave me that stupid self confidence juice #the way she bulldozes into delicate foreign policies with nothing but her ego and hutzpah really proves that whiteness is alive and well #in whatever variant of post-post-apocalypse this story is set into. they better interrogate her issues cause otherwise this plot will like #fizzle out under the weight of her self-righteousness lmao

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keeps-ache · 4 months

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went skating and ending up in a ditch eating grass 👍👍

#just me hi #i always flop the second time i try a hill i fvsh #i'm still getting used to skating again cuz it's been like. forever so #/so i was turning after i'd gone down the hill #and i knew there was gravel at the end of the drive bc i had almost eaten asphalt earlier too (lmao)#so i was too spooked to turn too tightly and then before i knew it i saw the muddy ditch in front of me and the thought process went thus:#not turning fast enough- nudge- nudge- not turning fast enough- okay funk me- and then i just accepted my fate 6 whole seconds before i eve #hit the grass hfvhs #though i Did time it well enough so only my skates ended up in the mud and my face ended up in the dry dry grass #and then i roll up to our car wondering why i wasn't getting scolded for not turning fast enough (very helpful..) and it turns out #Nobody Saw Anything #my glorious face-plant. all for naught #sure it was a little embarrassing but nobody even saw it. smh #i Do bounce back fast though so maybe they thought i was playing in the grass or something hvfhsf #i got grass on. everything again hfsbhd #//well. with all this i am now sneepy #i'm going to. play a game now #'why don't you draw' i am. sneepy #also the Game is in my brain now so hfhs :3 #wwehheeow bYe

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witherbythesword · 2 months

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I feel like a fucking feral animal that needs to be pinned down by the throat and stabbed.. i mean fucked argh no what i wanted to say.. is i need to be fucking sta

#nsfwtext #loosing my marbles #thinking about fucking provoking them #acting out #scratching them #to make them violate me and fuck me to pieces because i need it so so much #but they just think it's cute #poking fun at me for being so desperate for them #being pinned by the throat i slowly start getting weaker and they praise me for being good and relaxing #fucking me oh so slowly and it's NOT ENOUGH #but it's all I am going to get #struggling #trying to fuck myself back into them #but it just makes them press harder #until I am all still #like a little doll #teary eyed from my endless need and how feeling them rut into me so gently doesn't give me any relief.. it just makes it worse #feeling like going crazy and breaking down while they push a finger into my mouth to suck on #slapping me and then going back to chockeing me.#feeling my arousal built more and more #wanting them so much it doesn't matter if it's pleasure or pain begging to be kicked or fucked harder or cut or punched or skull fucked #just anything to truely feel them #argh #i am about to start biting people i need this #thinking about the times someone made me hurt so bad during a scene i felt like I need to throw up #like me brain was all pain and somehow it still got worse with each hit #that pain is so bad i feel like blacking out #saying yellow and #how just one touch was enough to flip the switch and what was pain just a second before was now arousal uggh am so needy for pain rn #when you are so full of pain in a scene it's like your consciousness morphs and all there is is you and pain and your partner

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daz4i · 8 months

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man if anyone else was in my situation I'd tell them "noooo don't listen to the people in your life who tell you you're making excuses and just being lazy, it's clear that you're in pain, not to mention executive dysfunction makes everything so much harder and depression draining you immediately after one action, be kinder to yourself" however. i am not anyone else

#parents 🤝 old therapist 🤝 friends a few years ago -> convincing me I'm lazy and making excuses to not do anything #it eased up a bit when i had the original crohn's scare bc suddenly ppl had to believe there might actually be smth wrong with me -#- and I'm not just faking my pain/it's just in my head. but the novelty of that passed even though it's still unclear if i have it or not #i don't know either. whether I'm being lazy or not. bc when I'm home alone for a week i DO do some of these things -#- that i normally struggle with. but 1 not all 2 as i mentioned i do need to lie down and recharge after everything #even if I'm not having stomach pains my muscles Do Not like me moving around that much but that might also be me being out of shape #which is think is what all those ppl i mentioned think. which is why they try to encourage me. it's not malicious or anything #but it still hurts a lot to hear. esp when it's coming from all directions and i still. can't. do. anything.#being told I'm just being lazy isn't as encouraging as they may think. tho at this point they're also expressing frustration-#- which i can't blame them for i mean I'd be frustrated too. i AM frustrated too #no one is meaner to me than myself after all #vent #man. that post hit hard akdlglg i didn't realize how much i have held up inside me abt this topic #I'm. really sad now. i just started the day and I'm already crying. damn

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hella1975 · 1 year

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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health

#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit #which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it #so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly #i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does #which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things #im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them #like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time #whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down #and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO #so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am #and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway #and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like #and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER #and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just #her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover #me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists #THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH #ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done #latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up #i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house #thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth #godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type #i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community #hella goes home

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dandyshucks · 1 month

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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl #i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads #but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl #it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits #and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot #but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road #i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit #and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl #and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper #its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town #and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times #MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL #im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord #IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING #i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think #so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly #during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone #but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us #so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl #AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM #driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl #after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad #but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl #dandy.cmd #vent //

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your-local-granny · 2 months

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Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(

#God I was feeling so good today but duuuude I’m so scared abt the opera from purely a technical standpoint #like I’m not even stressed about fucking anything up anymore it just hit me that like. I invited people to see this and it might be bad :(#due to variables outside of my control!!!! I hate not being able to fix things #I would be less stressed if my mother wasn’t seeing it but tragically I’m proud of what /i/ am achieving so I really want her to be there!!#but I know it’s going to be SUCH a fucking let down after the other shows she’s seen at my school like #the productions she saw were SO GOOD on a technical standpoint and both of the productions this year were so bad :((((#like even conveptually I don’t even know if I’m fully convinced and I’m in the show!!!#And idk. It’s hard when you don’t have an extended family (or like much of a family at all)#so the only people coming to your show are like. Broadway technicians #the closest thing I have to an uncle is a lighting designer and a stage manager my mother knows #very fun sometimes. Other times I want to throw myself onto a pyre #Why do the stakes have to be so high why can’t they just be happy to support me :)) I shall never be the center of her world. Ah well #But also we would not be as close as we are without our shared love of theater production so. Catch-22 #And at the end of the day I’m more sad that I can’t be proud of the show #it’s not anyone’s fault it just is and I need to be okay with it #I worked really hard and it matters that I’m doing this #GOD SORRY!!!#vent #portal of rambling

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widevibratobitch · 2 months

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#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

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apollo-zero-one · 2 months

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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....