#like. no. i dont think my situation is normal or ok or healthy or good or pleasant. actually i hate it.

[sillypilled-friendcel]

i wish financial abuse and forced dependence weren't like. only seen as bad when a spouse does it??? lol.

[cathchicken]

Ok so after a bit of me actually taking time to think about the collectors situation this is my sort of realized opinion: (warning: it is very long)

As I saw someone else state, the collector was previously imprisoned for like hundreds of years on the isles. Probably not a nice memory to have. Although, it was pretty much only with you know who, so it’s not like he’s gotten sick of or holds a feeling to flee the entire demon realm itself. But I dont feel bad if he wants some space (haha)

Aside from his siblings, there wasn’t really a specified thing for him to dislike the stars in any way. If anything he felt more comfortable there. he probably misses it a little bit, given the starry aesthetic of the archives and stuff. NOW don’t take this as me saying he is better off there. If anything, I am still a little nervous about the whole situation. The ambiguity of “the stars”, while I like in a petty fashion, doesn’t give much confirmation on what he’s actually dealing with. It is something familiar at least, but we don’t even know if it’s literally space or just another realm (parallel to the demon realm or human realm). If I had to hope of anything though, that if they meet their siblings, he beats them to a pulp. Fuck them. I don’t think he’d get tricked by them again, since he’s clearly figured out their shit even before season 3. Overall, I wish they elaborated on the realm before having him just whizz off there at the end. It could be good or bad, but in the end we do sort of have a reason to feel “wait wtf come back” and “where are you going??” In a way.

NOW the other thing! That people who are angry about this situation are bringing up (and that I mainly agree with). Which is the whole “found family” message of the show, and also the “nobody argued” line. Now, thinking about it from the shoes of Luz/Eda: powerful being who sort of just brainwashed (? Idk what to call the puppet situation. Controlled..? Eh, you know what I mean) a shit ton of people and doesn’t seem to care about their well being. Face-value. BUT!! (Big but) They also see that this being is a child that genuinely does want normal things like love and truth, but doesn’t understand concepts like death and friendship. They see a kid that is really upset, but trying their best to make others perceive themselves as “approachable” and/or worthy of their time (oof). Overall, trying his very best. Luz specifically sees all of this, and even makes an effort to congratulate the Collector when he attempts to take what she said into heart. He IS perfectly capable of expressing himself in a healthy way, he really just needs a proper parental figure to help him out. (Stares aggressively at Camila until she burns up). He’s not “uncontrollable”, he’s just lived the past few years with a crusty old puritan and has essentially learned the exact opposite of what he’s trying to accomplish.

Then, we get to the scene where the “nobody argued” line hits. Oog. I can understand that they think he should take time to himself after all of… that. And they probably respect his choice to mature too. ALTHOUGH. Like, after everything I’ve previously pointed out… wouldn’t any of them be a t i n y bit concerned about him going off all alone again? His whole ordeal these years has him being afraid of being alone!! He is ofc welcomed to the owl house, and can return whenever he likes, but, just like us, we don’t know crap about the star realm. The only things they know is that out there, he has shit siblings that fucked him up. Wouldn’t at least some of them be concerned? I do have a feeling he is going to be fine (we “sort” of see him in the credits so he’s alive which is to be expected). But still, in that moment, it would be weird that “no one argued”. All I would have wanted was someone to say “but will you be ok alone?” And then saying “oh yeah! I like it there, I know how to get around/ I have people there that I am cool with 👍” and then that. Like a little thing… idk. I do like that idea that after a few days he comes back because he realizes “actually I am mentally 9 (and possibly autistic) I don’t know how to figure out social cues on my own.” Like again there could be star people who are cool and will fill that place, but that’s only speculation. This whole time they were building up the idea that he shouldn’t be alone and needs others to figure stuff out! Because he was with Luz, only for a little bit, he absorbed the idea that giving kindness, when it’s deserved, is a better way to make friends than forcing people. And because he was with Luz, he learned (the hard way) how scary and forever death really is. Then in that ending scene with him, he just… figures he will be cool without them for a bit, and they agree too. (?) rehghfjk. This wasn’t a totally terrible decision, but the ambiguity of it just!! Makes it reasonably to feel ok with. How long will he be gone at a time? Are there other people he will be with? We aren’t exactly given an answer. We get allusions, but that’s it.

I am at least glad that King, of all people, would tell them that he wishes the collector would come back soon. (Was that another way of them saying he would come back sooner than later? It’s not confirmed so idk) I like this because, well, King was essentially the person that the Collector was closest to. (Besides Belos but he was the exact opposite on the spectrum of cool people to hang out with) King, as a kid himself, would relate most to him. He says that himself in FTF. He is understandably pissed at the whole puppet thing, but he understands that “I should address this but also acknowledge he doesn’t know better to an extent”. King would want to treat the Collector as he would himself, and how he knows how important having a family, whether it is blood or found, is important to oneself. King wouldn’t be half the character he is nowadays if it wasn’t for Eda and Luz to accompany him. When he told the collector “I hope to see you again” that makes sense; he knows that the collector would benefit from having people like how he did, and it would be beneficial, regardless if the collector does get proper parental figures in the star realm, if he would see them often. And ofc, he would probably genuinely want to hang out with them as well. He was glad to be their friend, to an extent. He was never totally unhappy about his situation in FTF. Also, him giving the Collector Francois at the end was really cute. Just in case he needs a buddy until he gets there. As far as we know, the collector needs Francois more than King does. And I think King knows that.

Ok so I think that’s it for my thoughts. If I suddenly remember something I will add it in. I’m not saying that I’m right or wrong, this is just how I genuinely feel. Feel free to comment your own opinions!! I am open to have my mind changed. In the end, I guess I just want the best for my little blorbo. Can you blame me…??

[girlwithfish]

there has to be a point where i stop thinking abt all the bad stuff thats happened to me right 😃 ill have a week where its not really on my mind and im normal mostly besides all the other hard to function daily stuff constant anxiety like a weight on my chest, or this emptiness i feel in social situations like somethings missing from me and i feel like im being put in an electric chair bc idk what to say and overthink my existence and dont like beinf around other people much like i can get thru social interactions im a nice polite normal presenting person but its exhaustinf and i feel like a scared animal inside and i dont know how to make like genuine connections or friendships w people idk if i ever knew how to do that . But besides from that stuff like usually the trauma isnt that bothersome or i dont constantly ruminate anymore but there's still some days where im stuck in trauma more than others. so cool. like that on top of all the normal day to day suffering i just described. 👍its ok lol i just need something to be obsessed w that will occupy my time thats healthy and not a person or a substance or something that costs money and is good for me. maybe i should get into walking and just walk for hours. but the issue is i am constantly heavy and sad and dont have much motivation to get out of the house so idk. maybe ill get into baking. or stardew valley

[hikari-ni-naritai]

primeeeeeenumb

ive made it home and watched some anime (literally only one show has come out since yesterday despite me watching like 18 of them) so i can finally work on these

2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now?

yellow when i was younger, now i think it'd be sky blue

3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color?

nah makeup isnt my thing

5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real?

definitely not im wayyy way way too demi for that.

7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)

if you mean my first actual kiss on the lips by any definition, it would be when i was like in middle school and i somehow blanked on how my grandma normally kissed me goodbye and my brain was like 'it was lips right? probably lips'. it was not lips.

my actual first kiss with someone outside of family was with my 2nd girlfriend (the one i was engaged to for several years) i stopped her in my parents garage on our way to my car and kissed her. this was notably like, what, several weeks after we started dating? i did not move very quickly.

11. What is your hair like?

dirty :( i need a shower. but it's brown, thin, slightly wavy, mid-back length? so many split ends. usually tied and over my shoulder like a dead anime mom. really need to get some kinda bangs situation going on so i dont look like shit when i do this but eh. the nurse said it was healthy.

13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

usually around noon, and wake up around 7pm. but im diurnal for now so i dont know what my schedule will be.

17. Favorite game as a child?

hmm. when i was in boy scouts we would spend like 30 minutes of every weekly meeting playing Dark Hide & Seek in the church basement we were using. it was a really good location for it, the goal was at the end of a hallway so there was only one way to get there, and there were rooms branching off it, including an open kitchen with an island for circling maneuvers, and at the far end was a big open room with some other rooms inside. provided a lot of variety despite the ostensibly simple layout. mike broke his nose once. its still crooked. good times!

19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn?

like, what id like to be? of these, fairy. id like to fly and do magic.

23. Do you dance? Slow dance?

definitely not regular dance. i would slow dance with a girl if pressed and have before. but not any dances done like, For Fun. bc they are not fun for emily

29. When and who was your first crush?

the cute redhead from my class when i was in 8th grade. 2 days prior i had no interest in romance. the next day i was like 'hmm well theres a couple girls i would be ok with dating'. and then i woke up the next morning and spent the whole day in an impenetrable haze of rapidly mounting obsession as my parents drove me and my brother to the pro football hall of fame and back. and i was a complete lost cause for the next couple of years despite being rejected almost immediately. it was a saturday and i'd planned to keep it to myself, but by tuesday i'd confessed (in writing, because i have never in my life had the guts to do it verbally) and been summarily dismissed. ive never been good at handling emotions, it turns out.

31. Are you superstitious?

nah

37. Are you quiet or loud?

usually quiet. i can get carried away though

41. Worst fear as a kid?

bees probably

43. does not exist!

47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel?

i feel some things!

[96xie]

keeping myself afloat

the past 8 months have been absolutely terrible, honestly im waiting for this pain to go away. i have cried countless nights unlike before and i have begged god to relieve just a tiny bit of pain of mine. i dont want to be here anymore but i cant grant that wish because i dont want to cause sadness upon my loved ones.

i dont look like myself anymore, my eczema has gotten so much worse to the point where i cannot recognize myself. i grieve every. single. day. i look at my old photos and wish i can go back to what i deem as normal. i feel so sorry to my boyfriend and friends because i look so embarrassing. my skin is on fire, its itchy 25/8, wounds open and scab up and its a cycle. i hate this so much.

i am currently on medical leave (currently unemployed) but i dont think i have benefits therefore i cant keep my financials afloat: i barely have enough saved for my car and its insurance for a month. my return date is in a month and HONESTLY i dont think i can recover until then. my entire body is in physical and mental pain: it hurts to bend my hands, arms, legs, body, i cannot twist my neck, it hurts to open my mouth at times, its like im not living. im literally crying as i type. i probably have like ONE good day every two weeks and i just dont want to live like this anymore.

i am trying my best to keep myself sane. i am trying to play games that i once loved but its difficult because my face is so dry to the point where my eyelids get dry too and my eyesight becomes blurry. when i go out, i become so envious of everyone because they get to wear short sleeved shirts, short skirts and shorts, and i have to cover because of my scars and open wounds. my boyfriend still holds my hands, hugs me, kisses me, but deep inside im crying because i feel so embarrassed that he has to be seen with me. ilove him so much but i feel so burdened because he has to put up with me.

my body is so dry its like scrunched up, its entirely red, i cant stretch, my eyesight is constantly blurry, i have no eyebrows, its been 8 months and no sign of healing. i dont know why i have to go through this. i have always always always tried to remain hopeful but its no use. healing is not linear. i know this very well. but each day has become discouraging. i am physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially in a bad place.

i have visited my dermatologist and she has been extremely condescending each visit. i just want to get better except she has been prescribing the very medicine that has ruined me in the first place. she has no empathy and i teared up in the office because she has given me no hope.

it is the same for my mom, i wish she had been more emphatetic of my situation. yes she understands my situation, she knows very well. i am so grateful she feeds me healthy food and herbal teas but the constant yelling and berating, i feel like im trapped in my child-self. i just want her to tell me it will be ok.

i want to be ok. i want to feel better. i want to look the way i have been. i am pushing myself to stay alive each day but it is very much becoming difficult each day. i love my friends and boyfriend but i feel like my breaking point is near.

this is not a cry for help i promise you! just a place for me to vent.

if you have reached this far, thank you for reading! i am finding ways to keep my mind busy despite the difficulties. if you can spare few dollars towards my car insurance or car, i would be forever grateful! my v3nm0 is @/alexieemreen

i will try to live another day being hopeful!

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

my tummy hurts and I refuse to be brave, if it hurts, I can complain

tw for my vent n shit also don't worry it sounds bad out of context it's not as severe as you think I'd add a read more but idk how to tumblr on mobile and don't respond or ask me about it I just need to get it out thanks

also unrelated note, I have realized the reason I don't like the words "I love you" is not bc of extreme romance repulsion bc I'm aro but years of trauma and manipulation to the point where compliments can make me nervous (especially about my looks or inspiring quotes people say like you are loved you are worth something) like don't tell me I'm so beautiful please stop it, I just hate it... it reminds me of THAT person.... (it wasn't in a se×ual abuse situation don't worry) I'm kinda ok ish with "you are beautiful" or ur pretty but the words "you are so beautiful" just make me want to rip off my skin

if someone compliments my dam skin one more fucken time..... I just can't b ew yahsgvsbs

and I hate whispering and people pulling me aside into a small space just tell me away from people in an open room ok? but I can't ask for people to not trigger/make me uncomfortable without saying I have trauma about weird shit. Like closets and bathrooms (again not as bad as it sounds, was not se×ual abuse)

AND DONT TOUCH ME ISTG ASK ME OR LET ME ASK YOU DONT TOUCH ME

also why do people act like there is always a trusted adult. 99 percent of adults in my life have to power to ruin it if they try or if I trusted them enough to let them in. I know people say reach out but they don't get it. I am not an adult, I have no power. all adults have way more power and that makes them too dangerous to let in. at this point it is probably like my life could be in danger if a stupid adult tries smth with my mom or dad. if I trust an adult with all of *gestures to trauma, gay and Trans ness, on going abuse, ME in general* .. that, and they try to do smth about it bc they think they know how abuse works, I might be kicked out or most likely a lot worse. Adults are like those captas where you prove you aren't a robot. every adult is a test to see if I can not set off any red flags that I'm not.. normal. it's so tiring that it's a relief if an adult doesn't care if I live or die.

also, thought I did a good socialization today, apparently it was shit :'( I tried so hard this time, I talked the least I could and didn't fidget in veiw of the new person or the other people. I talked a bit much at the end, I think that was it? I mean, I was talking about what she liked, and I let her finish her words and got through a convo with 2 other people. im the youngest there though so was I not suppose to talk? we were supposed to be meeting her tho and get to know her????? I'm so tired of being so broken l. I just really tried and my big sister is still disappointed in me. she should just leave for collage already, idk why she doesn't hate me yet...... I don't want her to, I just can't be the person she wants me to be. I'm just so tired I can't be anything but a complete shit hole and I hate it.

and I just gave up on my friend. I want to help her but I'm also fucked up but saying that triggers her so I just- and she's out of the hospital and I don't want to be rude but I just don't want to talk or be friends with her anymore, its too much but I can't tell her bc she already thinks that and I think that about my friends to and its too much god wtf are we doing we are kids we shouldnt want to kill ourselves are this age. But I want her to have friends and be happy but she only wants me as her friend and has no one else and she gave up and it's not healthy anymore but I can't just leave and I can't ask for help but I can't just be on call and talk her out of suicide every Thursday I live in an abusive house and I'm also always on call for my mom. I can't just pick her up and drag her along but idk what she's like now bc she might have blocked me so....

I should draft this but ik like no one looks through my posts so eff it

[yesimwriting]

hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

--

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever. 

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’ 

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE 

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’ 

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you 

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and  you just shut up 

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is 

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this: 

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met” 

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.” 

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.” 

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?” 

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you. 

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,, 

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice. 

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other 

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again. 

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely. 

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life. 

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved 

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension 

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row. 

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you. 

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’ 

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there. 

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement 

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever 

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’ 

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement 

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way 

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when 

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden 

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot 

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight 

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension) 

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you 

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way 

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’ 

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him 

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left 

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel 

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable 

[sailorhyunjinz]

What do you mean you're not telling is more?? You can't say that and then not tell us more 😭 what does that mean? What signatures did you analyse and how the hell does one analyse signatures? Anyway, good for ji, he should be confident because he's perfect

- horny! jisung is valid

im a nerd when it comes to like stuff that can analyze a person or a situation i.e tarot cards, astrology, numerology AND MY FAVORITE; graphology.

IM NOT GONNA LIKE point too much stuff out cause its probably gonna annoy the shit out of some and i dont wan by inbox exploding with angry people soooo,,, BUT the ones that kinda,,, raise concerns with me is chans, seungmins and hyunjins. AND JEONGINS IS V V FASCINATING IM TRYING TO PUZZLE TOGETHER WHAT IT CAN MEAN but lemme show you

this is chans signature and also i wanna talk about the text written at the bottom on the second picture SINCE ITS SO FASCINATING AAAA I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS YALL ok the signature in itself in these two examples are written straight which is great, in some ive seen inclining and reclining slants which shows that he changes mood in a healthy manner. the two first letters are big which speaks for him wanting to show a very strong side and confident side when met with new people or just media in general, he wants people to see him as confident and he wants to be respected but you see how the text suddenly gets illegible after the two first letters and they shrink in size? its a facade. deep down he's insecure, he carries them deep down and he hides them very well also HUUUGE insecurity loop in the letter "h". the line is what concerns me the most, the line that goes over his signature. you see how its going forward and then backwards and then forwards again? he's stuck in the past. he often thinks back on his childhood or previous experiences, overthinking them and he just finds comfort being in the past. OH AND the text at the bottom says "i'll eat well, very delicious" and you see how theres space between the words and its a normal distance, maybe leaning towards a bigger one but still considered "normal" which means that he has a healthy distance to people WHICH GREAT but when he writes "stray kids" theres no space. he cares so much about the rest of the group and he wants to keep them close, this small detail shows how much he cares AND I JUST FOUND IT VERY COOL OK MOVING ON

this is hyunjins signature! its illegible pretty much or maybe i cant read like i see an "h" but yeah his signature is big which indicates that he's not afraid to take place in whatever setting it might be but the illegible signature or legit any siganture that you cant see WHATEVER THE FUCK ITS SUPPOSE TO SAY shows that he's secretive and likes the game of having people guessing about who he is and what he's gonna do next. like looking at his siganture i just see a huge "h" which also shows me that he's scared to show his full potential. if you have a signature that only states your first name can mean that maybe you arent so close to your family but in this case he just diminishes himself to one single letter which is once again an insecurity trait and i would more say that this is like an insecurity to show potential yk? he's comfortable with who he is rn and such but maybe a bit hesitant to try something new in fear of criticism. he's a very friendly person tho v v friendly but maybe a bit secretive~ once again the line is very concerning since this one, in comparison to chans is going downwards signaling pessimism that can maybe keep him back sometimes but AH PROTECC HIM <33

this is seungmins signature and OH ALSO disclaimer here!! im sure that this isnt their like "official" signatures, this their autographs aka when they live up to their career and maybe not their signature when it comes to official documents yk since we tend to change them depending on the situation but yeah- this one is legible to some degree,,, the very high i-dot is ahshash mf has confidence. like ive said earlier the line over the signature throws me off but from what i have seen sometimes the line goes above his signature which is like a V V HIGH CONFIDENCE like almost a bit too much so im not as concerned for seungmin as i am for chan and hyunjin since their lines always happen and its always over the entire signature yk?

THIS SIGNATURE IS SO INTERESTING TO ME since i havent seen anyone that has this type of signature. he always draws the fox which signals playfulness but the rest is just a line which,,, like its not even "J" or anything, it looks like a flipped "s" which is a huge sign that he craves anonymity? sure he is an idol and its a job that doesnt allow that ALMOST LIKE DAMN but if we were to remove the fox and just look at the line we wouldnt know that it was written by jeongin? which like hyunjin, v secretive almost wants to be unknown? he doesnt want his idol life to mix with this personal life at all cause i doubt that this is his "official" signature. very straightforward, "im here cause im here bitches" type of attitude judging by the size and the lack of tilt

ok i said i wasnt gonna give out too much and i did but SHUUUUSH DONT-

and i dont wan people attacking me rn like if yall dont believe in graphology thats fine, move right along but i like it and WELL IF YOU DONT THEN DONT AIGHT OK <333

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Wonderwall-part 3

Summary: While all of the avengers facility may be aware of your pregnancy there's someone else who also needs to know.

Pairing: Tony stark x reader x Bucky barnes

Warnings: swearing, Pregnancy shit, angst, 

Wonderwall masterlist

It had been 2 weeks sense everyone found out you were pregnant including yourself. things were back to semi normal. Everyone was treating you like you'd break if things happened to fast and bucky and tony hadn't said a word to each other. Not that they ever actually did speak to each other but now its less than usual. Bruce banned you from going on missions which everyone agreed to. It was the only time tony and bucky had agreed on something so you grumbled and accepted it.

You were currently sat in the main lounge watching tv with your feet up on the table. You had to admit a 9 month break was awesome. you heard the door open and close. “Y/n?”  you heard tony call for you. “over here” you yell back. you see tony round the corner. “hey how are you feeling?” he asks sitting next to you.  “mmmmmm” you grumble closing your eyes. your head falls onto his shoulder. he laughs and you move your head to his lap putting your legs on the side of the couch. “hey so uh I was thinking.” he starts. you tilt your head looking up at him “wow that's a first you say.” you say laughing. 

Tony rolls his eyes. “sorry sorry go ahead what is it?” you ask. “Well sense things have calmed down here for the most part I was thinking of telling pepper. your going to be showing here soon and I just figured ya know” he says. you sit up “uh yea i mean obviously you'd have to tell her and sooner than later makes sense.” you said. “How and when you gonna tell her?” you ask. “Not quite sure. was thinking of taking her out ya know have her mood up before...” he trails off. 

“before shattering yalls whole world?” you say blatantly. Tony makes a face of nervousness. “sorry...just...honest when nervous.” you said messing with your fingers. “I’m sure it'll be fine...right?” you asked. tony shrugged. to be honest he wasn't sure of anything. He hoped she understood this was never intended and that the cause of it only happened because they felt so alone and hopeless.

You already felt sick but the nervousness of how pepper would react made it worse. You launched up running to the restroom hunching over and puking your breakfast out. you groaned and tony came over. he rubbed your back calmly “shh shh its ok” he said softly. you sat back looking at him “ugh i know im gonna love this little one when their born but my god does this suck” you grumbled. tony laughed and pulled you towards him. you laid your head on his shoulder. 

“hey i have an ultrasound next week they'll tell me how far along i am and we’ll see if the baby is healthy.” you said smiling. “that's amazing i'll definitely be there. Is bucky coming?” tony asked. you nodded “yea he's been really supportive actually i'm so happy he's been so ok with it” you say with a smile. “I hope pepper reacts similarly. you got lucky ya know with buck and all.” he says looking down. your smile fades “i know...really fucked this up...Bucky still loves me and I still love him its just....different, hes different.” it was true ever sense you told bucky he had been off. He cared for you and still held you close and kissed you but everytime he left he used to kiss you but this time he just says bye. Its usually in a neutral tone and anytime Tony comes around you can see him become pissed off. 

He cares for you and helps you with the side effects. Helps you with the morning sickness and cravings, dosent get angry when your mood changes every 2 seconds or when you watch sad movies and immediately fall apart. But hes still just...off. You knew he would stay and help but you wondered if things would be good again or if it'll only get worse when the baby is here.

“ok now” you start sitting up and walking to the bedroom, you sat on the bed and tony followed after. “tell me about the missions you know i gotta live through you now that i'm on house arrest” you say as tony sits next to you. “your pregnant not on house arrest last thing we needed was some dude giving you a sob story and you falling apart.” he said with a laugh. you hit his chest “uh huh sure that was why” you said. you moved and layed on the bed, tony laying next to you. “ok ok, the most recent a group tried to pull a major hack into a major bank” he said as you curled into his side. He spoke of how amazing it was to take them down. How steve and hom fought for control as usual. you laughed and smiled but over all you missed your team.

You missed being on missions, missed feeling included and missed the jokes and laughter and overall just missed being with them. you slowly fell asleep during his story. It was just so peaceful and nice you couldn't help it he was so warm and he was rubbing your back. Tony looked down at you and smiled, you looked so beautiful and at peace. Most days you held your guard up though it was falling more and more from your pregnancy. Moments like this you looked so vulnerable and at peace, he loved to just see you so...calm.

 Tony looked up as the door opened and bucky came in. Bucky saw you curled into tony's side and straightened up. He closed the door and looked back at you two. “hey” bucky whispered “hey” tony said back.

“I guess i should go” tony said ready to leave this awkward situation. “no no stay she hasn't gotten much sleep recently with worrying and ya know puking” bucky said walking to the couch and sitting. “im sorry” tony said “Really i am” tony wasn't sure on what to say but he knew he needed to say something, anything to fix this.

“I’m going to tell pepper tomorrow” tony said trying to make conversation. “Y/n tell you she has an ultrasound next week?” bucky asked. tony nodded “I wanted to come if thats ok” tony basically asked for permission. This was new for him he never asked to do anything but he felt like he was overstepping. “their your child of course its ok” bucky said. And with that it was back to silence

“Tony I’m going to ask you this once and i need you to be honest. Do you have feelings for her?” he asked. Tony was taken back by this. Did he have feelings for you? “no no of course not shes your girl.” tony said. bucky shook his head “not what i asked” bucky said. “No i dont i promise” tony said. bucky nodded with a small smile “ok, now on with that, how do you feel?” bucky asked. He felt relieved that tony didn't have feelings for her and it made it much easier to be around him knowing this.

“how do I feel? uh strange i guess. It's strange to look at her and know there's a human growing in there.” tony said. It was strange because she was starting to show slightly and knowing it was the start to a human a child that was his was strange to him. “yea i get what you mean its like you know there was going to be a child there but to see it happening is just something else.” bucky said. 

“yea...i also feel nervous you know, nervous of being a good father. My dad” tony started before looking up at bucky who had straightened up. They never talked of tony's father after word came out of bucky killing his parents. Not that tony talked of them much but it became nothing after the incident. tony looked at tony before looking back down at the bed. “anyways i guess over all else i'm happier than ever. I know i'll love this kid more than life itself so im just...happy.” tony said.

���how about you how do you feel?” tony asked. “happy i guess we talked of having a family before” he said. “what stopped you two?” tony asked hoping he wasn't pushing it. “Well being in the avengers and nearly dying on every mission mostly. then just us not sure on parenting not exactly like she had the best father and I was born in 1917 then when we finally decided to just do it....she went to space” he said looking up at tony. tony avoided his gaze looking anywhere but at bucky. he felt you turn in his arms and looked down seeing your eyes flutter open.

You looked up at tony and gave a soft smile before sitting up and seeing bucky. You looked between the two contemplating how no one got killed in the time you were asleep. “I should go now um guess i'll talk to you after i tell pepper” tony said to you. you nodded and smiled “sure don't get killed” you said before tony gave a small laugh and left. you looked at bucky “no one died” you said with a small smile. he laughed and nodded “nope no one died.” he said. “so does that mean things are ok again?” you ask. bucky nods “things are ok again” he said. you smiled “good” you wanted things to be the way they were where everyone could at least stand one another. where it felt like a family for those without one.

--

Later that night you sat on your bed watching tv while bucky and a few of the others were on a small mission. Anyone who wasn't on the mission was crashing from the last mission. You knew tony was going to tell pepper today which made you keep your phone on hand just in case. your phone dinged and you looked seeing a text from tony. “hide” was all it said. you of course not one to not listen when something says hide, hid in the secret spots you each had that no one other than you knew. It was originally in case bucky went all winter solider again but after that got fixed it simply became a spot incase some people attacked.

yours was a spot in the bathroom, figured it was least obvious, behind the toilet there's a small hole leading to a whole other room prepared with food and water and a bed that could last up to a month. you climb through still with your phone you text back “got it” and sat on the bed. Guess pepper didn't take it well.

You heard the front door slam and yelling. there was the sound of things being tossed around and door opening and closing, probably those who were sleeping and going to find out what the fuck was going on. You sat on the bed waiting and listening to the voices though it sounded like charlie brown teachers you could kind of tell by tone what was going on. Then you got a text from tony saying “come on out, don't worry steve and vision are down here so she won't kill you...or if she does you got back up” you sighed standing up and walking out.

You walked to the living room and saw pepper,tony,steve,vision all standing there pepper looked and stared you down. you slowly walked in “you” pepper said starting towards you. Steve moves in front lighting pushing her back. you hid behind steve “your ok” he whispered to you. “you absolute whore!” pepper yelled at you throwing glass at you. you screamed hiding behind steve fully. “we didn't know we'd be back!” tony yelled. “Pepper-” you wanted to apologize fix everything “No you shut the fuck up!” she yelled. you jumped back and steve put a protective arm around you.

“I don't want to hear it! Were done” pepper said “pep” tony said and pepper turned around slapping him. you moved from your spot by steve to tony. Pepper took the chance and slapped you. you stumbled back and tony grabbed your arm. “done” pepper said walking out slamming the door. steve moved to you “you ok?” steve asked. you felt tears brewing in your eyes. “guess its over” tony said. you pulled away and walked to your room curling up. A few minutes later there was a knock. “mmm” you grumbled. the door slightly opened.

steve came in and sat next to you “you ok?” he asked. you looked up at him and put your head in his lap “I just want to sleep” you grumbled. steve nodded and stroked through your hair. You fell asleep quickly and soon bucky came in. His face was washed in panic. “you heard?” steve asked. bucky nodded “is she ok?” he asked. steve shrugged “said she just wanted to sleep” he said. bucky nodded and sat next to you. “pepper broke up with tony” steve said. “figured” bucky said rubbing your arm. you curl up between bucky and steve. bucky's head rested back against the headboard and slowly fell asleep. steve wasn't sure on what to do so he just stayed stroking your hair as you fell asleep and looking at how at peace his best friend seemed for the first time in his life.

Tig tag list: @vicmc624​

[jung-koook]

Hii I’m back luv !! i hope you’ve been doing well I’m sorry for not sending anything last week I was really busy 😭 but I believe your week went well and also we are starting a new week so let’s hope that week goes well ! Anyways what did you think of PTD in my opinion I loved it made me really happy and it gave me hope of having a tour next year and so many good things 🥺. nevertheless , I hope you’re healthy and staying safe please have a wonderful day and remember we love and appreciate you for everything take care luv !! I missed youu 💞

your daily koo pics :]

please dont worry. you dont need to message me when you're busy ok. i appreciate your messages so much! i always get so happy when i'm getting your messages but you dont have to send them to me every time ok? my week was good. thank you. i hope yours was too ♡ ah yes, i really hope that next year the situation is really good for the whole world to return to ~normal~. i really like ptd! its a song that makes me want to dance and makes me feel happy listening to it ～(꒪꒳꒪)～(~˘▾˘)~ what i love the most about ptd is the choreography 🥺 thank you sweetheart. you too you too ok ♡

[enbyblades]

ok so my roommate and i were talking about starop bc i love dragging her into my bullshit...but also its her own fault for asking why i ship them jsdlafsf but anyway we came up with some good angsty content 

so anyway to be honest we were detailing a potential animatic jashdlasfjsf but it kinda led to us talking about the story potential of having this cross faction romance and all that like parallels between characters; theyre in a fight and somehow starscream winds up fighting against optimus and he fires a missile at him but misses a little too intentionally and megatron notices and like squints his eyes and gives starscream shit about it later of course bc hes suspicious and tells soundwave to keep a closer eye on him,,,, 

whereas ratchet, in a separate battle, starscream gets shot down by one of the other autobots and optimus just freezes and he wants to run to star and make sure hes ok and it shows on his face and his body language and ratchets pieced things together at this point, he knows Smthn is going on between those two, cuz hes perceptive and he just,, nods at optimus and turns the other way, off to help the others...he pretends he does not see it. 

and knockout knows, hes still a bitch but he and starscream have smthn of a mutual respect for one another, mostly bc breakdown acts as knockouts conscience ajsdhlsff, so while he teases star like “have fun with your boy toy, screamer? ‘,:)” he still like covers for him when megatron is wondering where he is and hes off with optimus. 

but the SPICY parts, so starscream kidnaps bumblebee and fucks him up a good deal, probably as a desperate attempt to get megatron off his back a little, and when optimus and maybe someone else arrives to save him, star grabs bee in a chokehold with his gun pointed at his head and optimus of course is horrified and trying to talk him down telling him he doesnt have to do this and wondering whY hes doing this, and starscream shoots bumblebee in the torso, not killing him but yknow, hes gonna be out for the count for a hot minute, and flees the scene 

so they dont see eachother for a while, they stop having their secret meetings bc optimus is hurt and starscream is in his own emotional turmoil over the situation. before optimus can figure out how he wants to handle the situation, he gets a complaint from fowler whos like “WHY is this goddamn jet ATTACKING random truckers???” bc starscream, ever so smooth, decided the best way to get ops attention was to. tackle him in alt mode apparently. ratchet gives him a look and says “looks like someones trying to get ur attention...” and optimus decides hell try to find star in their usual meeting place. ratchet of course is like, long suffering sigh “i cant stop you optimus...i just hope you know what youre doing. be careful.”

so they meet and starscream tries to act like everything is normal but of course optimus has to address the elephant in the room, and starscream is like “i thought we agreed to not talk about war and factions when we meet..” and optimus is like “starscream, you grievously injured bumblebee. you know why we have to talk about this” it becomes pretty heated, mostly bc starscream is explaining himself and is frustrated at the world and their situation and is ranting. he apologizes and clearly regrets what he did, and optimus, having the spark of a saint, forgives him tho hes still hurt. starscreams still VERY distressed though. they have This exchange:

“starscream...please. come back with me... you wont feel like you have to hurt my friends anymore. we wont have to sneak out in secret...”

“how many times do i have to tell you i CANT optimus! megatron would KILL me!” (he used to claim that he cant abandon this cause hes worked so hard for, but hes since come to realize the original ideas the decepticons were fighting for have been lost to megatrons batshittery.)

“we would protect you-”

“oh, like you protected CLIFFJUMPER?”

his eyes widen as he immediately realizes how royally hes just fucked up, and he can see it in optimus face that hes barely holding back a whole slew of hurt, disappointment, anger. it hurts twice as bad bc we all know WHO killed cliff, but also bc optimus no doubt has that leader complex that causes him to feel like cliffs death was his fault bc he couldnt lead them well enough to prevent it, and STAR knows this, and optimus Knows that star knows this, and its just..OOF. so optimus holds it in.

“o-optimus, i- im sorry, i didnt-”

“starscream....i cannot abandon my family. so you need to pick a side....and if it is not removed from the decepticons...i dont think it is healthy for us to keep this up.”

“optimus wAIT-”

but hes already transformed and is driving away. 

again time passes, i havent thought this part all the way thru yet, but eventually they meet again somehow and starscream apologizes (again) PROFUSELY, and optimus, in his infinite patience, forgives him again. they meet in their secret place, and its a pleasant normal meeting, but what optimus said is still very much an issue that needs to be addressed, and its lingering. starscream apologizes again for what he said about cliffjumper, and says smthn along the lines of “if anyone could protect me, not that i NEED protection, mind you......id trust you to be able to.”

“then come back with me...”

he looks conflicted. he wants to go so bad, but....

“we’ll see.” 

they kiss and part ways. optimus drives off, but when starscream turns around hes face to face with lazerbeak. soundwave comes out of his hiding place.

“scrap...”

he doesnt bother trying to come up with a lie. he knows it wont get him anywhere. soundwave heard enough, and no doubt recorded it. so instead he pleads with soundwave not to say anything. he promises he wont betray the decepticon cause, he hasnt given the autobots any information and he doesnt plan to, just PLEASE dont say anything. 

soundwave doesnt say a word. he opens a groundbridge and gestures for starscream to walk through first. 

and the next part also isnt totally fleshed out but i imagine he doesnt feel like he has much of a choice, so he walks through and has to face whatever megatron has in store for him unless he manages to escape somehow. whether he gets out on his own volition or is thrown off the ship by megatron is still up in the air, but the ensuing fallout of soundwave finding out and telling megs is what finally pushes starscream to abandon the decepticons for good. 

ANYWAY. YEA. ANGST.

[hazard-queen]

Hiii!!!! Request are still open right?. I loved the "they cant sleep" of idia leona malleus and azul!!. So you could do one of Vil kalim and riddle?. (I dont speak english very well so i hope you understund me)

Hello~♡

Requests are always open ^^

Don't worry about English, it's not my language either ^^

Take care of yourself and have a good day~♡

Riddle rosehearts

• It was late at night and it should be so dark now but suddenly thunder began to hit the sky in a loud noise, you woke up scared from the sudden noises outside as you pulled covers over your face, and for extra happiness all lights went out...great!

• You looked for a candle to light since you don't have any magic to make any ligts around you and luckily you found one, you placed it on the nightstand as you reached for your favourite book to entertain you until lights come back.

• It has been an hour now and lights still didn't come back and it began to be boring, suddenly you heard some knocks on your door," (y/n) it's me, riddle" you hurried to open the door to see him standing in his night clothes which was totally something new for you to see, silence fall as you didn't actually know what to say at this situation and that's when riddle reads your mind and cleared his throat, " i came here to see if you can sleep well, there's a storm outside and-" before riddle could even finish his words thunder began to hit again lighting up the whole place.

• You were scared but what happened with riddle was the sight tho, shiver ran through his body as he jumped to your side, and as he realised what he did he quickly pulled away from you and his face turned ten shades of red, "ummm you sound good for me, i will leave now" riddle was about to leave when realisation hits you that it was him actually who was afraid from thunder (yeah yeah like ciel phantomhive).

• You held his hand before he leaves, " ummm can you stay with me till the storm ends?" You know well that it was him who wanted to say this, "oh sure then!" You went inside as you sat back holding your book, "so, is that your favourite book?" He peered at the book in your hand as he pulled some covers over him since it was too cold.

• " yeah, it really amazing wanna know what it's about?" As you spoke the candle blew off as the window opened by the strong wind, it made both you and riddle jump from your places, riddle closed it and went back, and unfortunately thunder didn't want to stop, riddle reached his hand and held yours and he was acutely squeezing it closing his eyes.

• You tangled your fingers with his trying to comfort him, and to avoid embarrassment you began to read out some lines from your book," it's really a good book!" Riddle spoke as he began to wipe his tired eyes, "yeah isn't it..." you felt a slight weight on your shoulder as riddle has fallen asleep in your shoulder, you smiled to him placing the book on the nightstand by you.

• You rested riddle's head on the pillow pulling covers over him, placing a pillow between you, you blew off the candle and went into a slumber.

Kalim al-asim

• "Oi (y/n) wake up!!!" You were supposed to be asleep in your room that is also supposed to be closed or even locked from inside so no one could get in, yet you felt some soft pats on your shoulder, you totally ignored this thinking that you might be dreaming and didn't bother....but when you felt someone was shaking you in the dark that's of course not a normal thing.

• You jolted up from your bed as you felt existence of someone else in your room, then you felt a hand on your shoulder which drained blood from your whole body, "aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!" You screamed as you ran away from your place, it was so dark that you couldn't see who was actually standing, you ran to your bed and took a pillow and began to hit the person in front of you multiple times with that pillow, "aw aw aw (y/n) stop!" You heard the familiar voice and reached your hand to the nightstand opening the light to see kalim in fron of you.

• "That's you!!!" You sight in a relief rising your hand to your chest regaining your strength, "kalim, what are you doing here and the most important is how you got in here!?" He began to laugh before he began to tell you how he couldn't sleep and he went to jamil to help him but he just kicked him out of his room " i have enough from you in the morning and i don't want to see you in my dreams too!!!"

• "Ok that's a good story but i still didn't know why are you here?" You poured a cup of water and drink it, " w well....can you help me to sleep?" Your brain geers aren't working yet cause of what just happened and it was a long day beside it's 2 am right now, you thought to yourself before an idea came to your head, " how about i sing you a lullaby?" Kalim's eyes began to sparkle on hearing that, " oh really? They used to do the same thing for me when i was kid at home" kalim took a pillow into his embrace as you began singing.

• Once you finished you looked at kalim to see him sleeping peacefully, he looked like an innocent child, you reached your fingers to poke his cheek but he seems to be deep in sleep to notice that, you pulled the blanket over him placing a small kiss on his cheeks before you close lights and head to the sofa to continue your sleep.

Vil schoenheit

• He did everything he does before going to bed, skin care routine, brushing his hair and reading some sort of books, he climbed on the bed and covered himslef with blanket, he was supposed to be asleep now but simply...he isn't.

• He switched each sides and fixed the pillow and took a deep breathe but still, he opened his eyes giving up, he just can't sleep and this is very dangerous for his fair skin won't take it's rest and relaxation which is a threaten to his beauty.

• He put his foot on the carpet and stood up, he decided to take a walk...he may needed some fresh air but of course he put on a silk robe and let his feet guide him to where to go until he found himself standing in front of your room, rising his hand to the door he was hesitant cause it's of course so late and you can't be awake in such late hour.

• He made some knocks on your door and it took you so very long to open the door only to greet him with your pyjama and messy hair and it semt you fell asleep the second you reached your room and forgot about skin care routine thing oh great....

• Vil gasped on seeing your looking as he never expected to see you like this, "(y/n)! Didn't i give you a daily routine to keep up with your beauty?" Vil crossed his arms to his chest angiry and all you could do is to wipe your sleepy tired eyes " sorry perfect, but....shouldn't i sleep well also to keep up with my beauty?"

• Actually vil didn't you whether you meant that he woke you up from your sleep or if by "sleeping" then you would be doing all the skin care job, "never mind I'm leaving" vil turned to leave when you held his arm, "why are you here at this late hour?"

• " i just couldn't sleep" you blinked to him several time before you yawned in front of his face, he looked at you in envy as how you seem like you can sleep while you're standing in front of him now, "well....can i help in something?"

• "Make me something warm to drink!" He almost pushed you and entered your room like if it was his as you stood there dumbfounded, you wanted to hit him with something on the face for waking you up in such an hour but also it was the first time vil asked you to help him with something.

• You handed him a cup of warm milk and honey and vil gave you the (what is this looking) , " i don't know if potatoes like you know how harmful this drink is at night or not but this definitely is! It can make me put on weight!!!!" Vil threw a party over you and how you are not keeping a healthy diet, " do you want to sleep or not?" You waited for him to finish his speech before you poped the question to him ignoring all what he said, "yes, but i won't drink this!!!" And with this he pointed to the cup in your hand.

• "Ok then i will drink it!!!" Rising the cup to your mouth vil snatched it, "only few sips" he took some sips from the warm drink and his eyes began to close, he rested his head to your lap as you began to wipe and pat on his head, his beautiful eyelids began to close slowly.

• "Can you stay like this for a while?" Vil said softly , on hearing your agreeing he muttered "thank you" as he closed his eyes and went into a deep slumber ....is that magic? Nope, it's the sedative you added to the milk so you can go back sleep soon!

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hiya love!! CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL YOUR FOLLWERS BBYYYY!! 🥳🥳🥳 IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! I HAVENT BEEN FOLLOWING YOU FOR THAT LONG BUT I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU GROW. You deserve it all and more.

If it's still open, is it okay if I get a kinnie coldbrew please? And thank you in advance.

I'm really introverted and hate social interactions and meeting new people, even online

And I hate going outside in public

I just dont know how to make friends or even talk to people without panicking

I see the people around me having online friends and I'm sat there like how??? I just about have irl friends

It takes me a long long time to get used to people and even start thinking about opening up to them

All of my friends are people I've knows for a good 6/7 years, I hate being introduced to new people

I hate havinh big groups of friends as well

Usually whenever my friends go out I tend to avoid it, but when I do I'm usually at the back walking by myself

I just withdraw myself when in big groups and just become invisible

But in small groups of like 3 people or just me with someone else I thrive

My friends think they know me really well, but it's one of them ones where I mask my true emotions and feelings with waffle

It's not that I dont trust them, I just dont want to share my feelings with anyone or talk about myself, usually I just make jokes

I grew up in an environment where I was taught not to cry and not to be emotional, and my mother was very insistent on that, and it just became natural to me. I cant even remember the last time I cried, it was definitely a good 2/3 years ago

I have a lot of patience when it comes to anger, like I dont let it out, sometimes I get really really angry at the littlest things people do, but then it dies down in like 3 seconds. I dont know how to explain it, but it's like a hot flash and then it goes, other times it builds slowly and I just let it fester

But I hate confrontation

Absolutely hate it

I would never actually do anything with the anger or hurt I feel, i just let it sit inside of me and hold it in

People do come to me for advice and help, I wont sugarcoat anything, I'll tell you the honest (and sometimes harsh) truth and then help you get overcome your problem as well

Because of that I can sometimes come across as harsh because i wont bullshit you or beat around the bush if you need me to talk to you like that

I do the absolute most for my friends, I'd drop anything for them if they need help and I often find myself putting their happiness before my own, and lowkey (highkey) it hurts when I dont receive the same energy back, but it's ok we move

I'm usually the one doing all the work in a group presentation, mainly because no one else is bothered to do it, so I just do it all

I do all the work, they present

I dont know how to show the people around me that I love them, even though I really really do

I hate it when people touch me or try to give me hugs and I avoid them

But secretly I yearn for them and I just want someone to cuddle me

But I'm not used to physical affection at all and it really embarrasses me

It's a bit of a sticky one ngl

For me, it's so important to be polite and open minded

I think that's why people come to me for advice and shit, because I suck at comforting people, but I wont judge you at all also because I'm quite approachable as well

Unless you're a trump supporter, then I will roast the living shit out of you

I'm really into literature and reading, whether it be classics, manga, graphic novels, or just normal fiction

I just love reading

And doing anything creative tbh

I read percy jackson when I was young and it basically formed my entire personality

That's where my love for mythology started and over the years its become more refined and I just love it even more

I like to think I'm a nice person

I always try and make people smile and laugh and know that they're loved and acknowledged by me

In stressful situations I find myself being really calm

To the point it looks like I dont care

And I'll tell you that I dont care as well

But on the inside I'm panicking and its eating me up on the inside

I either do one of two things and they're both polar opposites

I either try and resolve it as soon as possible or I ignore it for as long as I can and leave it for future me to handle

It's not very healthy but I'm still here so, I guess it's fine

I dont find myself getting stressed FOR myself that often, if you get what I'm saying

Usually when i feel emotions it's for other people??? Like I'd be stressed for someone else, sad for someone else and angry for someone else, but I'd never really feel something for myself

Yeahh I usually stay calm and nonchalant though

Ahhhh, this is soo longgg, I'm so sorry about that, I just started venting halfway through and forgot that this was an ask. I'm so sorry and I hope you dont mind. Thank you so so much though, I appreciate it a lot. Make sure you're taking regular breaks and drinking lots and lots of water, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Thank you so much xxx 🥰🥰

THANK YOU THANK YOU ❤️

@tsukkispoundlandheadphones

You are a...

Sakusa Kinnie

Similarities

Alright stating the obvious

YOU BOTH HATE PEOPLE TOUCHING YOU

Although it might be for different reasons

That doesn’t change the fact that you both low key hate people

You both hate social interactions

Whether it be online or in person

Being social is just a no go for you two

Your only friends are people who you’ve known for a long time

Cmon

Sakusa’s friend is LITERALLY his cousin

Like FAMILY

You both are very slow to anger

Cant relate

Like when have we EVER seen sakusa get mad at someone

Disgusted with someone sure

But MAD I don’t think so

Blunt bitches

You both are blunt af

You both just tell it as it is

I mean someone has to do it

Ok this is hard to explain cause there’s no evidence behind it...

But he responds to stressful situations JUST like you

Don’t question it to much

It’s just true

Assumptions I Have About You

I’m sorry but your hot

No buts about it

Speaking of

Here 👐 takes some self confidence

You deserve it I promise

LonerTM

How’s being a homebody?

You let people take the lead in most situations

EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO BE A LEADER

Rbf?

Ok we know you don’t like people touching you

But you absolutely HATE strangers touching you

You either genuinely enjoy cleaning

Or you stress clean

Ilysm never change the world needs more sakusas ❤️

200 Follower Event

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[ks-010]

This is a theory I wrote about Amane in my MILGRAM group chat. It was written in 3 separate parts:

So we know a lot through context about Amane but I would like to know how everyone feels about this (this is long btw): So, at least where i live, at the age of 11 your responsible for your actions against the law. Amane is 12 but, honestly I think she just needs to get away from whatever situation she’s in cause it seems incredibly toxic & just be a kid.

Cults often cut off they’re victims from normal ideals, since I 100% believe she’s in a cult, she would have been set up with the cults ideals immediately, she wouldn’t know anything else. I can’t really blame her for anything because her secret/website voice lines show that she’s been heavily indoctrinated. This could change obviously, but I blame her environment & her parents. I could make this longer (Kazui parallels, parents ect) but I don’t want to overwhelm everyone to much so this is the final point: In the end her question is similar to Mu, can you excuse a deplorable action by someone who’s experienced trauma?

Part 2 electric boogaloo:

Amane was most definitely abused by her parents. The fear in her voice when she broke the rules & the talk of being ‘good girl’ is really off-putting given the sub-text. I can only imagine what she perceives as ok or normal behavior, she’s similar to Haruka in that regard, a poor child given a bad hand in life, having to suffer through horrible circumstances, & leaving a slue of mental problems in it’s wake.

The fact she’s paired with Kazui is very interesting, not only the parallel of their ages but their songs. The theme seems to be devotion, devotion to your lover or devotion to your society. I hope that one day they could comfort each other, Kazui showing her what normal, healthy, parent is like, & Amane helping him move on. Anyway Amane’s really interesting.

Watashi-wa-bakada responded:

I agree with the cult theory about Amane. It makes it hard to vote her guilty if she was raised that way. Not to mention we aren't really sure about who she killed. It might have been a friend who knew nothing about the cult's rules. Not to mention how she made a promise. I dont really remember if she broke the rules for the promise, so ill have to look at the voice clips again.

See for Haruka's instance, he was neglected as a child, which let to him longing to have attention from his mother and others. He also seems to extremely regret killing, so that let to me to forgive him. See i dont know if amane regrets her decision or is just scared of the consequences of breaking the rules. Her God complex is very extreme, so she might be scared of God's punishment or what the cult would do to her for breaking the rules. Like how you would be scared of a higher power, but sometimes protected by it.

My Response:

She doesn’t seem to feel guilty in the slightest for her crime, but she says in her voice lines that ‘I believe there are more important things than laws’ showing that what the cult is teaching her isn’t good. She obviously isn’t going to feel guilty for a crime they see as ‘good’ (it’s implied that it was the circumstances/cause that made it good in their eyes). One of the clips I mentioned was at 5:36 in the video, where she practically screamed ‘I’m sorry, i’m sorry. I’m sorry for breaking the rules.

Thank you to @watashi-wa-bakada & @aquatic-feline for discussing this with me & giving feedback, I appreciate it. Also Mahiru’s song on the 15th I can’t wait.