#i am experimenting with making things look appealing yes

[skzoologist]

Hiya, I absolutely love your work

I'm not sure if you have already done this but could you do a sort of compilation of times Bae took care of each of the members

Thank you

word count: ~7.4k words, roughtly 800-1000 words per member

warnings: descriptions of getting a cold, Jisung having a bad mental day, Felix twisting his ankle (but the latter two are not thoroughly described)

genre: fluff with some angst sprinkled in

a/n: Hey-ho anon! First of all, I deeply apologise for making you wait for so long, I really meant to write and post this a week ago. But then I wanted to write more, so did, and then the word count just kept increasing... Second of all, thank you very much for requesting such a sweet scenario and for loving my work! It really brought a big, dorky smile on my face. I really hope you like it, I did my best! ^-^

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Bang Chan:

Their leader was doing it again, like always. It was a dance they had been doing for years now, a never ending cycle of exhaustion. He would lock himself in his studio -even remain there for several days if he had nothing else to do in his schedule- and just leave the others wondering about his well being.

The members would try to coax him out, usually to no avail. In the worst case scenario, Chan would even get angry and send them out, locking the door ultimately afterwards. It was never a pretty sight, so everyone was careful about their approach, as if they were in the enclosure of an angry predator.

But even with the chance of being yelled at, Bae always remained by Chan’s side.

He would go to the studio, even if he had a long day and it was nearing midnight, it didn’t matter to him at all. Bae would remain by the locked door with his back against the wall next to it, sitting on the floor on a pillow he always brought with himself in scenarios like this. He always knocked on the door when he arrived, but never expected an answer or for it to open.

So, he simply sat there, a big bottle of water and some easily consumable grocery food laying next to him. Bae left those there every single day, and when he arrived in the next, they were gone; so at least he could relax a bit, knowing Chan was eating and drinking at least that much every day.

Nonetheless, he worriedly remained in his place, chatting with the others on his phone -if they were still up, that is- and calming them a bit. It was a hard task to accomplish, seeing as this whole back and forth between him and Chan put a strain on his own well-being as well. He thought he could hide the eyebags and little yawns successfully, but the calculating eyes of Minho never failed to notice them. If he tried to avoid meeting with his feline resembling bandmate, he would be pestered into sending a selfie -god, his phone blew up so much it vibrated non stop-. He could never escape him and his nagging.

But that was how Bae was, putting others before himself and he couldn’t help it, especially not when he knew his beloved leader was putting so much work on his own shoulders. Just the thought pained him enough to put a permanent crease between his eyebrows, lips arching down slightly.

The sound of a lock clicking and a door opening broke him out of his thoughts, his eyes meeting with dull ones.

“Dal, what’re ya doin’ here?” - Chan slurred out, confusion written on his exhausted face. “Taking care of you.” - was the only answer that left Bae’s lips, his body already up, hands offering the prepared food and water to the older male.

With a heavy sigh, Chan accepted them and downed most of the water, if not all, before tearing open the plastic packaging of a bread bun and wolfing it down. Bae eyed him critically, making sure he ate everything well, not leaving a single crumb behind. As if sensing it, Chan showed Bae the empty packages before pocketing them to throw them away later. Satisfied, the taller one nodded and took Chan’s bag before he stepped in front of him. With a little crouch and a swift grab, Bae took Chan onto his back who just let out a strangled little noise in response.

“D-dal, what’re you doing? I can walk. Hey… Hey, Dal, can you hear me? Put me down, come on mate…” - but as he didn’t get a response, he sighed and finally accepted his fate.

Of course he got no response, Bae knew how stubborn the man was. The moment he let him down, Chan would stumble around and Bae would be forced to watch. It had happened before, so Bae adapted to it and changed his tactics to the current one.

Footsteps and quiet grumblings -cursing directed at him, for sure- were all one could hear as the two made their way to the dorms. Luckily they lived in the same one, so Bae wouldn’t have to walk back to his own one at the crack of dawn after making sure his leader was safe and resting.

By the time they reached the door, only soft snores could be heard, Chan’s breathing tickling Bae’s nape with every breath. He smiled, happy the man finally let himself fall asleep, at least for a little bit. He quietly made his way into the dorms, more specifically Chan’s room, not wishing to wake anyone up. Carefully placing the sleeping male onto the bed, Bae took off his shoes and tucked him in, blanket up to his chin.

Looking over the male one more time, Bae let out a satisfied sigh and took out his phone to take a photo. It was immediately uploaded into their group chat, thankfully no one saw it -it was 5 am after all- right away. Happy that everyone was now sleeping, Bae made his way into his own room, but only after glancing at Chan one last time.

Lee Know:

Bae’s menace of a hyung -even if only by a few months- was resilient, the man rarely got sick or hurt. He was precise in what he did, especially in their dance practices, so it was really worrying to see him make several smaller mistakes in a single session. But when confronted, he brushed them off and continued as if nothing had happened.

It continued like this for a few days, Minho looking worse and worse as time went by, but only slightly. His hair was a bit too dishevelled, he cleared his throat just a bit more than usual and asked back when he didn’t quite catch or understand what they said a suspicious amount of times.

None of it escaped Bae’s attention, and he quite frankly had enough of Minho just brushing them off as if nothing was wrong.

“Minho hyung, you’re sick.” “No, Bae, I’m n–” “You. Are. Sick.” Minho merely blinked back at the taller one, surprised he was talked back to so confidently.

“Oh damn, Bae hyung is not playing around anymore.” - Felix commented, Seungmin muttering a ‘Finally’ as everyone quickly left the room, leaving the two to battle it out. Not even Chan’s leader or hyung privileges could help in the situation, so with a pat on Bae’s shoulder, he left as well.

But before Minho’s sick brain could catch up and retaliate, Bae grabbed his wrist and dragged the male after everyone to the dorms. Naturally, halfway through Minho realised what situation he was in and started loudly whining, unsuccessfully trying to pull his hand out of Bae’s hold. No, the taller had none of it, he simply dashed towards Minho’s room and carefully, but firmly plopped the other onto the bed.

“Rest. I’ll be back.” - he said with a pointed stare, not even waiting for a response from the other.

On his way to the kitchen, he bumped into Seungmin and asked the younger one to make sure Minho didn't escape.

“What’s in it for me?” “You can ask me to do anything, even on camera.” “Sweet, jackpot.”

With his soul being sold to the devil, Bae continued on his way to the kitchen to make a nice, hot soup for his sick hyung. He probably caught a cold, if his sniffing and throat clearing was anything to go by, and that called for homemade chicken soup. Thankfully, everything he needed was available in the dorms -pros of having Minho as one of the residents-, so he could get started right away.

Whenever he could step away for a few minutes, he checked up on Seungmin, to see how he was doing and if he was doing his job. But with the rare reward he got in exchange, Seungmin dutifully did his job and held the door closed.

After an hour or two of cooking, Bae could finally grab a bowl and fill it with steaming, hot soup. Putting it on a tray along with the correct utensils, a glass of water and some medicine, he made his way to Minho's room. He thanked Seungmin for keeping their sick hyung in the room and went in, a dark pair of eyes immediately zeroing in on his form.

“Baeee, I told you I’m not sick.” - Minho whined from the bed, standing up to escape. “And I’m the Santa Claus.” - Bae replied, quickly putting down the tray onto the bedside table and grabbing onto the back of Minho’s shirt, swiftly dragging him back.

Naturally, this earned him a slew of whining and high-pitched noises, but only until the older’s throat gave out and his voice cracked, immediately turning raspy. Minho blinked and confusedly touched his throat, all the while Bae looked like he really wanted to say he said so.

But he didn’t, he wouldn’t.

Instead, he just gestured towards the bed with his head, his hyung sighing and finally giving up the fight, sitting down on the bed with his back propped up against the headboard. Not even a second later the tray was put into his lap, Bae sitting down next to him. He brushed a lock of hair away from Minho’s forehead, putting his hand on it afterwards. Thankfully the male didn’t really feel warmer, which earned a happy sigh from Bae.

“Thank you.” - quietly said Minho after he finished, the bowl and cup empty, medicine taken and being digested.

Bae simply nodded, a small smile forming on his lips at his hyung’s pout that freshly sat upon his face.

“Sleep, I’ll be back.”

And he would be, checking up on the male every few hours, and luckily so. By the morning Minho was absolutely done, the cold knocking the energy right out of him. The most he had the energy for was whining, something he constantly did, much to the annoyance of everyone, especially a certain someone.

“Baeeeeee, my head hurts, gimme a head massaaaaaaageeee.”

The man in question just closed his eyes and sighed, but stood up to saunter over towards Minho anyway.

The things he did for his bandmates.

Seo Changbin:

Changbin was always a very careful person around the gym, constantly making sure his and the others’ stances were good and proper. He never failed to help the others or ask for help if needed, not an ounce of shame or shyness in his voice while doing so -not like there was anything to feel like that for-.

That was why it caught everyone who were at their private gym by surprise when he let out a sudden yell, followed by the loud thud of a weight hitting the floor.

Chan was the first who reached him, quickly assessing the situation and taking control. Jisung was lingering nearby, anxiously following their every move and ready to dash and grab something if needed. It was chaotic, especially with Changbin’s loud cursing when he moved his arm in the wrong way, but the boys managed to support the injured dwaekki and got him to sit down while the physiologist arrived there.

Chan was no stranger to accidental injuries, he worked quickly and efficiently, hence why the first thing he did was calling a medical expert. In the meantime, Jisung updated the others via their group chat, his hands still slightly shaking from worry.

The few minutes they had to wait for the physiologist to arrive felt like hours, their heads already filled with countless scenarios about how severe the injury could be and how long it would take to heal. Don’t get them wrong, the most they worried about was their bandmate’s health, someone they spent so much time with they considered family. But being an idol was a demanding job, and a serious injury could have harsh consequences.

Thankfully, it was nothing like that, Changbin merely pulled a muscle and it would heal in a few weeks.

All three of them heaved out a relieved sigh, the physiologist smiling at their reaction, before giving instructions on what to do and leaving. The three went back to the dorms after that immediately, Changbin’s right arm now wrapped in bandage and resting in a sling. If he wanted it to properly heal fast, he had to rest it a lot and ice it too, so he had no choice but to begrudgingly wear the sling.

He didn’t like it one bit, his training schedule now completely turned upside down and he was not happy about it. The whole way there he whined, much to the dismay of the other two. But they endured it, already used to how the dwaekki usually was, especially when annoyed like this.

The moment they opened the dorm’s front door, 6 pairs of eyes greeted them back. Felix immediately rushed over to them from where he was pacing the room, looking over Changbin’s form and assessing the situation himself. As much as Changbin whined on the way over, he voiced nothing of the sort when he answered the sunshine incarnate, merely trying to calm the boy down.

Bae watched it all silently while he was listening to the physiologist’s instructions from Chan, the elder already knowing the situation would be completely under control with their tall member there. Bae nodded once Chan was done and with a pat on the shoulder, he left to check on Jisung and calm his anxiety if needed. A quick glance told him there was no need for such, the quokka already with Minho who expertly took the younger’s mind off of the accident.

So, Bae simply walked over to ruffle Jisung’s hair, then went over to his injured bandmate -who had a Felix stuck on his uninjured side like a koala- with a raised eyebrow.

“Yah, don’t look at me like that, it was an accident! I don’t know what happened, I guess I moved the wrong way or something.”

Bae hummed in reply with a slight nod, brushing a lock of hair away from Felix’s eyes and quietly asking him to move away. Once that was done, he ushered the loud little dwaekki onto the couch to rest, knowing fully well the man would not stay still alone in his own room. But even with all that, he refused to lay down.

“No, I don’t wanna!” “What do you mean?” “I don’t wanna just lay down and stay still!”

If looks could kill, Changbin would have been a dead man long ago. He noticed it too when he took a peek at Bae, so he quickly corrected himself.

“I will only lay down in your lap!” “... Eh?”

The tall man was shocked into silence, his ears already reddening before his mind could properly process what had happened. The others merely bursted into laughter, not that surprised by their bold bandmate.

“Just give up Bae hyung, you know how he is.” - Hyunjin added in, a sly smile dancing on his lips.

Curse them, they all enjoyed the situation a bit too much.

But Bae could only accept it all, since they were right: it was the only way Changbin would rest, and Bae cared for him more than he cared for his own pride. So, with a heavy sigh he sat down and patted his lap while looking anywhere, but his bandmates’ eyes. The sheer joy could be heard in the noise Changbin made and he wasted no time to situate his head comfortably on his victim’s lap.

Since he had to lay on his back to not aggravate his injury, he had the perfect view of Bae’s bashful expression, giggling at it in glee. He absolutely loved flustering his shy hyung, it was one of his favourite things to do. Bae merely playfully glared at him as he pressed a wrapped up ice pack onto his injured arm -that Chan passed to him-, revelling in the little hiss he let out in response.

“Yah, why are you so rough? Will you poke out my eye too when you’re feeding me??”

Yep, there went Bae’s normal skin complexion along with his ability to form sentences, all the while the others just watched in amusement -and maybe they filmed it too, who knows-.

Hwang Hyunjin:

It was a rare moment where they all had a little break from their hectic schedules and they decided to go to a water park, wishing to cool down on a hot summer day. Of course they would be filming there a bit too, but it was going to be much less strict compared to the shooting of a music video or the preparation for a tour.

Everyone was brimming with excitement, some even unable to contain it as they hopped around in place or pestered someone. Bae couldn’t blame them, really, he himself was extremely excited too, given how much he loved water and peacefully swimming in it. Naturally, this meant everyone teased him about being an otter -Jisung as their leader- just like his skzoo, but it was fine. Worst case scenario, he would drag them into the water with himself and reprimand them there, knowing it would shut them up for a solid 30 minutes before it all started up once again.

“Which car will you go in, Hyung?” - bounded over Felix, the epitome of energy.

Right, the park was an hour long drive away and because they were let go by themselves and weren’t driven around in a van, they had to split up.

But before Bae could even consider his options, a quokka and a cat grabbed his arms -one each- and stole him away, leaving a blinking Felix behind. It all happened so fast, Bae could only blink and gape like a fish out of the water after he was shoved into the backseat of a car, the perpetrators sitting in the front -with Minho driving- and quickly buckling up.

“Did you get kidnapped, Dal hyung?” - asked the soft voice of Hyunjin, who apparently sat next to him the whole time.

He simply nodded in response and quickly put on his seatbelt, seeing as the car already started up and they zoomed out of the parking lot.

“Yea, snatched him right out of Felix’s hold. You should have seen his face!” - laughed Jisung, his fingers already scrolling on his phone to search for a playlist and blast it through the car’s speakers. “Huh… Good job Han, you did something great for once in your life.” - Hyunjin replied as he scooted as close as he could to Bae and laid his head on the older’s shoulder. “Hey, what do you mean by that?!” “Oh you know what I mean.” “No I don’t, Mr. Drama Llama, please elaborate.” “You know, when you kept–” - but Bae flicked Hyunjin’s forehead before he could finish his sentence, earning a loud and dramatic whine from the younger.

He also glanced back at Jisung -who was clinging to the back of his seat so he could face them better-, who sputtered out an apology and turned back around as Minho just laughed in amusement at their antics.

“Why did you hit me so hard, aish.” “It wasn’t hard and you know it. Now come here, you dramatic princess.” “P-princess–”

But Bae turned Hyunjin’s head to face him anyway, gentle fingers swiftly soothing the slightly red skin on the younger’s forehead. This immediately shut Hyunjin up, as he now peacefully enjoyed the rare moment and caring touch of his shy hyung. Naturally, once it was over he resumed his spot on Bae’s shoulder and the car ride continued with relative peace amongst the lively chatting and loud music.

It was all fine and well until Bae sweeped his hand over Hyunjin’s forehead to tuck a stray lock of hair away, when he realised something was wrong. Hyunjin’s skin was slightly cold and clammy, a thin layer of sweat coating it. If Bae concentrated, he could hear how the younger’s breathing was slightly off; laboured and a bit forced.

“Jin?” - he gently asked, only earning a quiet hum in return.

This worried the older even more, making his eyebrows furrow in concern, something that Minho noticed from the rearview mirror and gave voice to it.

“Jin is not okay, can you pull over somewhere Hyung?”

No further elaboration was needed as silence took over the car, the lively chatter dead and the music reduced to a mere quiet background noise.

“Jin, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” - Bae tried once more, his hand now actively running through the younger’s hair in a calming effort. “Don’t feel good… Nauseous.” “Good job, thank you. Rest now, we’ll stop soon.” - Bae replied back, brushing his nose against the crown of Hyunjin’s hair as he glanced at the rearview mirror, eyes meeting with Minho’s who nodded to confirm they would indeed stop soon.

Jisung was already on the phone, talking to the others to tell them they would be late and that he would update them as soon as he could. Bae was really grateful he had such competent bandmates who he could call family, who he knew so well they could understand each other with no words.

The moment the car stopped, they all undid their seatbelts -Bae did it for Hyunjin, with the state the poor man was reduced to- and coaxed their sick bandmate out. It took a while, but when Hyunjin got out of the car he immediately hunched over and emptied his stomach, Bae holding his hair away and rubbing soothing circles into his back. The other two rummaged through the car for some water and a bag for Hyunjin in case of an emergency, not wanting to just stand around and do nothing while their friend suffered.

A few minutes of resting -and somehow making Hyunjin drink a bit-, they all sat back into the car.

“Jin, lay down.”

Even in a sick state this surprised the blonde, because it meant his head would be resting in his hyung’s lap.

“It’s fine, just lay down, don’t worry.”

Bae’s statement left no room for argument and with that, off they went to catch up to the others at the water park.

Han Jisung:

That day was no different from any other, everyone’s schedule full as they went their separate ways to get things done. Bae spent his whole day in the practice room alone, doing their new choreography over and over again, until it seared not only into his mind, but his muscles as well. And when that was done, he did it one more time for good measure before stretching down and tiredly walking back to the dorms he shared with half of the boys.

Upon arriving, he called out a loud greeting in case anyone was back already and indeed someone was, namely Hyunjin, who greeted him back. A quick chat later Bae went to shower and hole himself up in his room, but not to rest, rather to work away on his computer.

While he was not part of the 3racha and he didn’t edit songs, he still had his own computer-related studies he had to cram into his spare time. Thus, he put an earbud in -just one, in case he was needed by someone- to listen to some instrumental music as he slaved away in front of the bright screen in the dark room, the notion most probably damaging his eyes, but he couldn’t really care at that moment.

He was fully immersed in his work, mind focused on one task only, when suddenly a noise caught his attention.

It was so faint he almost missed it.

Pausing his music, Bae took out his earbud and swivelled around in his chair towards the door, waiting to hear the sound again and confirm he was not just hallucinating it -wouldn’t be the first time-. And sure enough, there it was, somehow even fainter than before. He didn’t hesitate for a second as he called out and invited in whoever was on the other side, although he had an inkling about their identity as this had happened before already.

The door opened up just enough for a dark mop of hair to peek through, nothing else could be seen from their dark silhouette due to the lack of light in the room. But Bae could tell, there was no doubt in his mind about who it was, saddened that it was one of those days again.

“It’s alright, come in Ji.” - he called out gently with a nickname he only used when needed.

Jisung stepped into the room and closed the door, but did not really approach his hyung, he merely fidgeted in place -only told by the rustling sounds one could hear from the darkness-. Knowing how things went by now, Bae patted his leg in silence and carefully watched as Jisung slowly made his way over to him and climbed into his lap.

With his knees folded, head buried in the crook of Bae’s neck and arms tightly wound around his hyung’s form, Jisung seemed small, extremely so. His vulnerable form softened Bae’s eyes immediately, the elder hugging his form into himself even more if possible.

“Hard day, baby?” - he hummed out, his protective and doting side taking over as he drew little shapes into Jisung’s back and sides.

All he got was a weak nod in response before the younger buried his head deeper into the crook of his neck, a broken breath leaving his tiny form.

There were days when everything got too much for Jisung, when the weight on his shoulders felt impossibly heavy, crushing his very soul; when he felt like he couldn’t go on any longer, like he just wasn’t enough. And on those days, if he had enough power, he seeked out one of his calmer, quieter bandmates. It was normally Bae, especially after their dorm change, because he was the one around when needed. But the taller one didn't mind this one bit, he simply opened his arms and silently welcomed the other every single time without fail, mending the unseen wounds just with his calming presence.

They stayed cuddling like that for minutes or for hours, none of them knew; the computer screen had turned off due to inactivity a long time ago.

In the dark room only the occasional rustling of clothes could be heard, along with Bae’s mindless humming, his soft voice a calming companion.

Soon enough, the slowly calming breathing that tickled his neck evened out, turning deeper as the hold on his clothes weakened with every breath the younger took. Bae patted Jisung’s head, fingers gently gliding through soft locks of hair before he carefully tightened his hold on the sleeping male’s form and stood up. He only had to take a few steps to reach his goal: his bed, still untouched from when he made it that morning, so he skillfully peeled the blanket away with one arm and delicately placed Jisung down, tucking him in. The younger’s grip was still strong, he barely managed to break away from it without waking the other up, just so he could change into his pyjamas quickly.

Before Jisung could start tossing around, undoubtedly looking for him, Bae slipped back into the bed and watched with a warm expression as the little quokka’s hands immediately found his shirt and latched onto it.

“Good night, Ji.” - he muttered out, the exhaustion he had been ignoring was coming back with full force. But if this was the price to help the others, he would do it in a heartbeat all over again.

Lee Felix:

Their younger little aussie was flexible and talented when it came to doing dance moves that were on the more dangerous side, they all knew he would be fine. But that did not stop them from worrying whenever he got the bright idea of doing a dangerous tiktok or a random taekwondo move out of nowhere. If Chan was nearby, he would immediately put down whatever he was doing and give the boy all his attention, ready to move and catch him if needed. Sometimes it was needed, sometimes not, but usually everything turned out fine in the end. They would laugh it off after Chan sent Felix a reprimanding glare, the latter not attempting to do the move once again in fear of his dad’s wrath.

Such was the law of the jungle.

But Chan wasn’t there with them at the moment, no, it was only Felix and Bae in the practice room, fooling around. Well, the younger was, dragging his hyung along in the process, knowing fully well Bae couldn’t really say no to his younger bandmates and their charm.

“Come on Bae hyung, it will be fun!” - Felix pleaded, hands swinging one of Bae’s around in desperation. “No, Lixie, we won’t do it. No one else is here to catch you if needed, I don’t want you to get hurt.” “But pleaaaase…” “No, and that’s final.”

With that, Bae gently pried his hand out of Felix’s hold and went to his phone to put on some music to practice to, shaking his head when he heard the younger quietly calling him ‘no fun’. He would gladly be the most boring person if it would mean the ones he cared about were safe, but of course, things had to go wrong.

All he heard were the squeak of a shoe, a thud and a yell before he turned around so fast he became lightheaded.

There laid Felix on the floor, his left ankle bending a bit too much than it should be able to. Bae didn’t hesitate a moment to grab his phone -tearing out the cord that connected it to the speakers- and sprint over towards his fallen bandmate, sliding on his knees in the process.

“Lixie, look at me and tell me where it hurts.” - he started questioning, his hands on the sides of Felix’s face. “I–... Nowhere? I’m fine, Hyung, why?” “Okay, it hasn't hit you yet. That’s fine-, no, Lixie, look at me, stop squirming around. Whatever you do, don’t move your left leg, okay? Do that for me, please?” “Woah, I haven’t heard you talk this much in a while.” “Just promise me, okay?” The younger boy nodded -as much as he could in Bae’s hold- and watched his hyung type away on his phone and put it up to his ear.

He felt fine, really, but based on the rushed reaction of Bae, he must have successfully injured himself. It wasn’t his goal at all, he just wanted to move around a bit, but… Guilt ate away at his soul, remembering how his hyung warned him exactly of this situation.

“I’m sorry, Dal hyung.” “I’ll do that, yes and– Felix? Why are you sorry?” - Bae asked confusedly, his attention now split between the phone and the injured sunshine incarnate. “You warned me and yet–” - Felix tried to say, but failed as a hiss left his mouth, face scrunched up in pain. “Alright, see you later Hyung. And Felix, it’s okay, we’ll talk about it later. For now, just continue keeping your promise and wait here. I’ll be right back.” - Bae replied with a small smile on his face as he patted Felix’s head once more and stood up, sprinting out of the room, somehow managing to pocket his phone in the hasty process.

It didn’t take long for him to get back, to Felix it was over literally in the blink of an eye as all he could do was grimace through the pain, teeth on the brink of breaking from how tight he was grinding them together.

“This will be cold, I’m sorry Lixie.” - was all the warning he got before cold mixed together with the pain, earning a loud hiss and a muffled grunt from him.

Scooting closer to his face as much as he could, Bae started carting his fingers through Felix’s hair in a calming effort, desperately hoping it would work.

“Chan hyung and the others will be here soon, along with the medics. Just a bit longer, Lix.” - he hummed out, voice even and steady.

But as much as he tried to hide it, his hand shook for a second and he wished the younger didn’t feel it. He didn’t want to make him feel worse or make him panic too, so he hid his own feelings with a gulp of air, putting on a composed exterior.

Felix would be fine, it was probably just a sprain; at least he kept telling himself while simultaneously holding the cold soda can gently to the younger’s leg and petting his head.

Suddenly the door bursted open and he was gently ushered away, only being able to watch as Felix was quickly taken away to be properly checked over and treated. He simply knelt there and watched, the world seemingly cold and numb to him. He could barely register the touch on his shoulder that never left his side ever since everyone arrived, how it softly squeezed the flesh there and drew little circles in place.

His name sounded a bit far away, but a blink later everything crashed back into him.

“Chan, I was so scared.” - he muttered into the crook of the elder’s neck, his shaking body in his hyung’s steady hold. “I know Dal, I know. It’s gonna be alright.” - Chan whispered back, face buried into Bae’s neck as well, the rarely ever seen scared form of his bandmate worrying him.

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay.”

Kim Seungmin:

They were all at a photoshoot, getting ready for their next comeback with full force and determination. Everyone was excited about it and they couldn’t wait to see STAYs reaction to their new album. The boys desperately hoped they would like it, since all of them really poured their heart and soul into each song and music video. Every single day was spent working on it, from morning till night, and as much as they loved their jobs, they were starting to get a bit tired of it.

“Hey, Dal hyung, you wanna come over tonight? We could watch some marvel movies.” - Jeongin suddenly asked after they were finished with the shooting. “Oh? Yeah, come over Bae hyung, we all can do a marvel movie marathon tonight!” - Felix joined in the moment the word ‘marvel’ hit his ears, a wide grin already sitting on his freckled face.

Not expecting this even after so many years -he really should have been used to it by now-, Bae simply blinked at the two pleading faces in front of him. Knowing that it would be loud with the rowdy boys, he worriedly glanced at the two remaining roommates: Seungmin and Minho.

But before he could even open his mouth to voice his concerns, the two answered it for him.

“No, Dal hyung, it’ll be fine. So come over freely.” “Bae, don’t even think about refusing it, or I will personally drag you over, so shush.” Well, that settled it, so Bae simply nodded and watched as Felix and Jeongin did a happy little dance, somehow dragging Seungmin into it in the process.

After getting their makeup taken off, they were all ready to go back and Bae told his roommates about his nightly plan. Naturally, since it wasn’t a rare occurrence, all he got were ‘Have fun’ wishes and rough headpats that left him disoriented.

It didn’t take them long to arrive back in the dorms, everyone quickly changing into comfy clothes the moment their feet were free from their shoes; even Bae, who had a small stash of clothes for whenever he stayed over. He wasn’t allowed to move a finger even in getting the snacks ready, so he simply sat on the sofa with Seungmin, who was somehow roped into joining them.

The boy looked like the definition of exhaustion, his hair dishevelled and looking like a bird’s nest at best, his eyes slightly unfocused and duller than usual. “Minnie, you can go to bed, it’s okay.” - Bae softly spoke out, afraid that if he spoke any louder, the boy would startle. But Seungmin simply shook his head sluggishly, adamant in his decision of staying up with everyone else.

The older could only let out a sigh of acceptance, his attention taken away shortly afterwards by the other 3 appearing in the room; hands full of snacks of every kind. And then the problem came: who would sit on the other side of Bae? It was always a full on war between the boys, wanting to cling to the taller and tease him until he turned red. Bae couldn’t stop it, trust him, he tried so many times in the past.

Instead he let them fight it out, their sly little maknae sitting next to him while Felix and Minho were busy cat-fighting. Their reaction when they finally noticed was priceless and Bae couldn’t help but burst into laughter. The two could only grumble as they sat on the other side of the sofa, Felix having to hold Minho back as Jeongin made funny faces at him.

A quick forehead flick later, Bae put on the first marvel movie -they were watching them from the beginning, according to the timeline- and let the maknae seize one of his arms as a pillow. He didn’t need it anyway.

As time went by the snacks dwindled in number until none was left even before the end of the first movie. No one else seemed too sleepy yet, all except Seungmin, whose body slowly but surely started slumping against Bae’s side. The older didn't mind one bit, letting their little menace sleep on his shoulder peacefully. Even when Jeongin noticed the sleeping puppy and tried to poke at him, Bae quickly put a stop to it, knowing how rare it was for Seungmin to just fall asleep in the middle of doing something. The boy clearly needed some rest, and he would be damned if he didn’t let him have it.

Bae continued on with his guard duties until the end of the marathon, but he didn’t have a hard time as Jeongin fell asleep too, later joined by Felix. His arms were completely numb by now, so he carefully wiggled them out one by one and waited for some feeling to return in his tingling fingers. Unfortunately, the notion stirred the youngest awake and Bae immediately apologised, but was brushed off by the yawning maknae.

“I said don’t worry, I’ll just go to bed now. Good night guys.” He was quickly followed by Minho and a now awake Felix -Minho may or may not have shaken him awake violently-, only Bae and a sleeping Seungmin remaining.

Looking over at the younger, Bae let out a fond sigh and picked him up into his arms, careful not to jostle him too much. He already knew where everyone’s rooms were like the back of his hand, so it wasn’t hard for him to find Seungmin’s room and carefully tuck him into bed.

He knew how hard the younger was working, how much he sacrificed for the band and he wished he would give himself some slack.

“Good night, Minnie.” - with one final, gentle pat on the head, Bae quietly walked out of the sleeping puppy’s room.

Yang Jeongin:

“Innie.” - Bae’s voice cut through the silence, firm and cold even over the mask he put on. “No, I won’t let you in.” - came the raspy reply, voice muffled by the locked door. “Jeongin.” “Nooo, go away!” “Yang Jeongin!”

After a minute of silence, only a sigh and some shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door, before a click cut through the air, indicating the path inside was clear. Bae didn’t hesitate to go inside not even a second later, a tray of warm soup and medicine balanced on one of his hands.

“But now you might get sick too…” - muttered Jeongin before sniffling, quickly reaching for a tissue for his stuffy nose.

His hyung merely placed down the tray on his desk and gestured towards it, giving him no choice but to sit down and slowly eat the still scalding hot liquid.

“I don’t care, Innie. I did the same with Lino hyung, you are no different.” - Bae answered simply as he sat down on the bed, watching the younger’s movements closely.

Jeongin did not look okay. The cold he caught -most probably from Minho- just did him dirty: he couldn’t breathe through his nose, his voice was raspy and almost gone, his breathing was forced and heavy. Not to mention the coughing rushes that sometimes attacked him, every single one sounded as if he was going to cough his whole respiratory system up. Just hearing it made anyone nearby flinch, eyebrows furrowed in worry and pity.

Naturally this meant Bae too, the man having rushed over the moment he heard of the news.

This surprised no one of course, as it was a common occurrence, hence why they teasingly called him mom sometimes. That earned them a lesson, which consisted of being chased around and tickled to death, but they never stopped with it. Bae had to accept his fate, just like he did before he came into Jeongin’s room with the soup and medicine. No matter, he would get them for it later, he had already made a mental note for it.

Seeing as how the younger had finished eating, Bae stood up and went to the headboard of the bed, stacking the pillows and plushies up so the sick little fox could lean against them and hopefully sleep in a half-sitting position finally. Glancing back at him, the older noticed the untouched packet of medicine hidden behind the bowl, a sad attempt made by Jeongin.

“Innie…” - he sighed out, already walking back towards the other. “W-what? I finished, Hyung.” - Jeongin stuttered out, his hands hovering above the tray, not knowing where to grab. “You didn’t take your medicine.” “I-I did!” “Innie…” “  Sigh  Fine, I didn’t. But it tastes horrible, I hate it!” - the younger pouted, arms crossed in front of his puffed up chest.

It was an adorable sight, even with how sick he was.

“Hmm, then I guess I’ll eat this by myself.” - Bae replied as he took out a packet of sweets from his shirt’s pocket.

Just by the gasp it elicited, he knew he had won, he had gotten one of Jeongin’s favourites after all.

“Buuut, I’ll let you have it if you take that medicine for me.”

He didn’t even have to wait for a reply, the maknae simply tore the packet open and after dissolving its contents in a cup of water, downed it in one go. Face scrunched up in disgust, Jeongin blindly held out his hand for his prize and Bae gave it to him, even offering an extra head pat as a reward.

Satisfied, Jeongin’s face immediately brightened up as he opened the packet and happily munched away on the sweets. It was amusing to watch, especially how he did a happy little dance after an extra delicious piece. It was probably thanks to the sickness and its numbing effects on the mind, but Bae didn’t mind it one bit. Jeongin kind of reminded him of Hyunjin at the moment and his little americano dance. Either way, he watched the younger absolutely devour the pack of candy with amusement dancing in his eyes, his lips arching upwards under the mask at the sad pout once the sick little fox realised there was no more candy.

“Alright, time to rest now Innie.” “I don’t wannaaaaa.” “Don’t whine at me, I know you couldn’t sleep at night because of your nose. Now use your nose spray and get into bed.” “Yes moooooom…” - Jeongin mocked Bae, but with a sharp glare he quickly stopped and did as he was told to do, sitting in bed not even a minute later.

Bae saw how the maknae’s eyes started drooping, the spray working -at least for a while- and allowing him to breathe through his nose. So, he gently pushed the younger into the wall of pillows and carefully carted a hand through his dark mop of hair.

“Good night, Innie. Have sweet dreams.” - he whispered, Jeongin already at the edge of sleep as he took the empty tray with him and tiptoed out of the room, turning off the overhead lights on his way out.

[horreurscopes]

the whole adhd going trendy thing that's now being discussed in, like, npr podcasts (insofar as tiktok is an extension of "the mainstream") is fascinating because that was basically a stage of self actualization that tumblr went through, like, at least three or four years ago. y'know; that's not a symptom of adhd, that's a common human experience. everyone forgets to eat produce in the fridge sometimes. everyone's mind occasionally wanders during a conversation, and so on.

but at least in circles of tumblr with critical thinking skills this has led to better insights, "culturally" (as in - people here don't have to go looking themselves for anti-psychiatry literature to encounter these ideas; it is something that can be absorbed via osmosis if one is interested in social justice and sees relevant topics on the dashboard, which i think is generally a good thing), about the systems of oppression that lead people to attach themselves to these medicalized labels; why, for example, a diagnosis that means "there is something broken in my biological make-up that makes me ontologically unable to complete tasks, and therefore it is not my fault, nor a moral reflection of my character, if i am unable to work myself to exhaustion" might be so appealing to so many people in a society where creating capital for the ruling class via wage slavery is a sign of virtue; and what incentives the psychiatric institution may have to both diagnose and medicate people to fix "can't work" syndrome.

(and yes, people here still debate to exhaustion what "actually adhd" vs, lets say, "culturally adhd" means; but that's not what this post is about. to me it is very similar to the chemical imbalance model of depression: is it likely there are certain individuals who one day, simply and for no reason, experience their ability to feel joy "turning off"; or even individuals who are more genetically vulnerable to becoming depressed when faced with adverse circumstances [the way a tendency towards alcoholism can be inherited]; but these are a small number in comparison to the great majority of depression sufferers who would not be labelled "mentally ill", were it not for the systemic circumstances one is unable to escape, and consequently, cope with.)

and yet now that this conversation has reached the "mainstream", it boggles the mind that the conclusion even the most liberal cultural outlets reach all basically amount to "we need better, more accurate diagnostic tools" and a call for more nuance in psychiatry, so as to better distinguish those "real" sufferers of broken brain disease, who are then allowed to use stimulant drugs to be shaped back into the rank and file (aka, people who have a magical brain that reacts in a special, morally acceptable way to stimulant drugs as long as they are not used recreationally), from the "fakers", who need to grit their teeth through their personal failure to make themselves do shit they would not choose to do were it not for the threat of starvation, homelessness and death, and pull themselves up by their bootstraps (aka, people who have normal non-magical brains which respond to stimulant drugs in dirty, hedonistic, cheating-the-system ways).

and not, you know, the fact that "working yourself to death doing dull boring punishing work" culture might be the biggest cause for people identifying with "really struggle to work myself to death doing dull boring punishing work" syndrome, or than an institution founded on categorizing people via their inability to conform to a set of social norms that do not exist in an apolitical vacuum, might have an incentive to create a label for it.

[lovelybucky1]

Uzi Time, Baby

a little gun play with wade- ddne // divider by @strangergraphics

you sit atop his thighs with his cock seated deep inside you. you’re not moving, which is an agonizing tease in and of itself, but to make matters worse, you’re holding wade’s newly acquired golden gun.

before meeting you, wade would say he had the dirtiest mouth of anyone he’s ever met, but now you’ve well surpassed him in that regard.

“held at gunpoint by your own gun,” you tsk. “i thought you were a pro. i guess all that military training and mercenary experience goes out the window when you get your dick wet.”

“not my fault you fucked me stupid,” he says.

his hands are locked to the headboard above his head to prevent him from moving. wade has enough self control to follow your no touching rules, but the symbol of the cuffs is too appealing to pass up.

you trace the muzzle of the gun over the the divots of his abs, up between his pecs, and along the length of his throat.

“i didn’t make you stupid, wade. you gave this gun to me willingly. what kind of fucking idiot would let someone pull a gun on them?” you roll your hips and he shudders.

“fuck, baby, please,” he moans. “give me something.”

you lean forward and brace yourself with your hand in the center of his chest, pressed against his sternum. your other hand holds the gun in front of his face, so close he has to cross his eyes to look at it.

“i can give you a bullet in your brain. is that what you want? are you stupid and desperate enough to let me do it just so i’d ride you?”

“yes, god, yes. pull the fucking trigger, baby, come on.” wade leans his head forward so the muzzle is pressed between his eyebrows. “want to see the fuckin’ look in your eyes when you do it.”

you sneer. “jesus christ, you’re fucked up. you’re that needy for my pussy?”

“you know i am, baby. you know it’s my favorite thing in the fucking world. you can do whatever you want to me, just fucking fuck me.”

you move the gun from his forehead to his lips, and push your way into his mouth roughly. his lips get pinched between his teeth and the metal of the gun painfully, and he can taste the tang of blood on his tongue. the flavor is quickly replaced by oil, smoke, and an even stronger metal taste.

“one more sound out of you and you’ll be spitting up these bullets,” you threaten as you lift up your hips and let them drop back down.

he struggles to hold back his moans, and part of him wants to let one slip just to see what you’d do, but he doesn’t want to push his luck. he may not be known for making the smartest decisions, but he does know how to get what he wants.

[littlerequiem]

LEVI/F!READER/ERWIN | ROYALTY AU | P. 1 OF 2

Having had enough of your father pushing suitor after suitor on you, you make a vow: before the night is over, you will experience pleasure on your own terms. But as the saying goes, forbidden fruit is the sweetest—and no fruit is more tempting than the one your two knights have to offer.

> Crossposted on AO3

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Levi Ackerman / Female Reader / Erwin Smith (Attack on Titan)

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 - Rated Explicit (18+) - Royalty AU, Inspired by HOTD, Attempted Assault (not by Erwin/Levi!), Period-Typical Sexism, Swearing, Hurt/Comfort, Drinking, Pining, Eventual Smut, Threesome, First Time (WC: 5.5k)

( Next part )

"Princess Reiss, her Royal Highness, First of her Name, and Heir to the Throne of Paradis!"

The attendant bellows out your many titles, the sound of which echoes in the great halls of your forefathers. 

In the distance, a crowd has amassed where your father sits on the throne. All eyes turn as you step in, and you realize there was a reason behind your lady's maid fretting over your hair this morning.

Your eye twitches. 

Another day, another suitor.

"This is Floch Forster, your Highness," the Hand of the King declares. He bows, gesturing towards your father's latest pick. "Lord of Utopia."

The man—Floch—runs a hand through his hair as you set your gaze on him.

He's tall, you suppose, and handsome enough, with a serious face and a firm posture. But he looks at you like some trifling prize to be won, and that makes your jaw tight. You will be Queen of the Realm one day—someone he owes allegiance to, not the other way around.

He won't do.

The meeting does not go well, and you send this Floch character on his way. You can tell he's displeased, what with the way he bristles and huffs like a peacock, glares at the floor like it had personally insulted him. You don’t care; you can't imagine a union with a man like him—someone who'd never see you as his equal, but try to undermine your influence and power every step of the way.

In truth, the prospect of marriage has never appealed to you. If it were up to you, you’d ascend the throne by yourself, and rule without the presence of some man who'd expect you to push babe after babe from your womb. But, of course, as a woman, you have royal duties to uphold.

"I will not tolerate you not marrying, daughter," the King warns later on.

You're now dining with your father in the main halls—alone, aside from the presence of knights and servants. You pay neither your father nor them any mind, digging into your vegetables solemnly.

"Do you have nothing to say?" your father grumbles. "Nothing to apologize for? This is the third match you send away! Soon, the realm will run out of suitors."

You lift your cool gaze at him. You know your father means well by introducing you to suitors, that he loves you in his own way. But the way he keeps on pushing man after man on you is simply suffocating. If you were to ever marry, you would much prefer for it to be with someone you actually cared about. You'd want for things to happen naturally.

But the future of the realm, of securing a bloodline, waits for no one, least of all for you. 

"I don’t see the issue here," you say all the same. “I will marry when I find the right candidate.”

"Yes, and when will that be? When I am dead and buried underground?"

You roll your eyes. "Really, must you be so dramatic, father?"

“You are the reason your father is so dramatic!” Now he stands. No longer is the look he sends one a father gives his daughter—no, this is the look that a king gives his subject. “My advisors tell me I am too lenient with you, but long have I ignored their plights. Now, I see that I have been blind.”

“And what of my plights, Father?" you hiss. "Do I have no say in my future? What if I wished to rule alone?”

“Your plights are of no consequence to the realm, foolish girl. A woman cannot rule alone.” Your father’s jaw locks, tight as a bowstring. “You will marry before this year is over. Is that understood?”

You scoff. "You cannot possibly—"

“Oh, but I can because I am your king and when I speak, my word is law,” he snarls, slamming a fist on the table. A jug of water tips over—neither of you pay attention to it. A servant scurries to handle the mess. “You either listen to me now, or I will force you down the aisle myself until you produce heirs of your own.”

His threat hang in the air. You feel its weight on you, like physical chains summoned around your wrists. It makes you grit your teeth, setting your glare onto your curled fists laid out on your laps.

The tension could be cut open.

You push your chair back, the feet rattling against the stone ground, and stand up. “Fine,” you sneer as you turn away, “breed me like a brooding mare, if that’s all you care about.” 

Your father grates out your first name. "And where do you think you're going? We aren't done."

"But we are!" You swerve your attention back on him, shooting him a look of absolute vitriol. You don't remember the last time you had such an argument with him. "I'm going back to my books, while I still have the liberty to read freely."

"Daughter—"

“—or will you take that right away now, too?"

At your words, your father's eyes gleam furiously; his voice is cold as ice. "This is not the end of this. You will marry, and if you don't make a choice soon, I will make it for you."

You say nothing in return, letting the echo of your scattered footsteps be the answer to your father’s penance.

As you exit the halls that night, you don't see the worried looks your two guards exchange as they follow you out. 

You’ve already got a plan brewing.  

You do not go back to your books.

As soon as you’re inside your chambers, you lock the door shut, only to hurl a nearby vase across the room. It shatters in a hundred pieces, but it gives you none of the relief you thought it might. With blood pumping through your veins; you heave like you just escaped an apex predator’s claws.

You grit your teeth. 

It’s all so unfair. That your father expects you to fall back into line, to do as he says, simply because he commands it. Has he forgotten the child you once were, or does he simply refuse to see the real you?

Damn him. Damn this whole system that cursed you the moment you were born. Another princess might have wept or accepted her fate, but not you. 

Tonight, you’ll break free. 

“Princess?” a concerned voice comes from the other side of the thick wooden door.

It is soon followed by two knocks, slow and firm. The voice belongs to one man, the knocks to another. Your guards.

"Leave me,” you tell them. “I do not wish to be disturbed,"

The two men, Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman, have known you since childhood . They understand you well enough to recognize that you're not actually fine, but thankfully, they seem to respect your need for privacy. Erwin lets you know they’re just outside the door if you need anything. You already know you won’t call for them. 

Not tonight. 

No, tonight, they can’t follow you down this path. Despite being lifelong friends, this journey is one you must make alone.

You eye the corner of your chambers. 

There is a secret passage just behind the bookcase of your bedroom. It is not known by many—just you and your guards. It is the same passageway you would often take to meet Levi and Erwin in secret, to watch them spar on the training field, to talk about books and dreams when all still seemed within your grasp.

It seems you must grasp one more dream for yourself.

The streets of Mitras are lively in the evenings.

Filled with jesters and children, dancers and sell-swords, merchants and entertainers, there is much that is happening tonight. The thick stench of sweat and mud, the taste of tart pie and mead, the sound of songs and gossip. It paints a study in the everyday lives of common folks.

On any other day, you might have stopped to observe your future subjects, but not tonight. As you make your way further down the web of the city, you feel equal parts thrilled and anxious. This is the first time you’re out without your guards, after all; you can’t help but feel bare without them. It makes you glance over your shoulders. Clad in a cloak with a dagger and bag strapped to your hip, you know to remain prudent. 

You’re on a mission, after all, one that is personal, and you do not wish to be stopped.

Sex.

The concept isn’t foreign to you. You know what coupling is; you’ve seen peaks of it in stories, behind closed doors. You know that sex isn’t simply something that people do to procreate, but that it is immense pleasure. Men and women do it, but also men and men, women and women, and all genders that come in between.

You think that this is what pushed you to step out of the comfort of your room tonight. Pleasure, with someone who would be willing to do it for you—not because you must, but because you both want to.

Only now that you’re here, you falter. The Perfumed Quarters, where you now stand, carry the finest brothels. You’re certain that with the coin you carry, you might find one that would be discreet enough to give you the pleasures you desire. Man or woman, you would have your pick.

But are you really daring enough to do this?

You close your eyes, fidgeting with your hands as you eye the entrance door. You had a glass of whiskey before leaving—some liquid courage for the road—but now, you suddenly wish you’d taken the entire bottle with you.

"Hullo there, pretty thin’," slurs a voice close to your ears. The stench of alcohol that permeates makes your stomach wrench. You glance up, meeting the face of a man gazing at you with clear interest. "My, y'ar quite the sight. Skin like velvet..."

He reaches out to touch your face, but you flinch back. 

"Dressed so prettily too, under that cloak... Are ya one of the whores working here, hm? An escaped rabbit from her cage?"

Your brows knit together. "You misunderstand, sire. I'm not a working woman. I simply—"

The man does not listen, seizing one of your wrists. Your brows scrunch low, and with your free hand, you grab the dagger, showing him you're no helpless thing. 

A callous bark rumbles out of him. “Is’tis part of the act, hah? The little rabbit has fangs, and I get to eat ya whole?”

Before you have a chance to show him just how real your fangs are, your peripheral catches a flash of silver. Before you realize it, a long blade, cutting the space between the two of you, brands a path dangerously close to the man’s throat. 

"Get your filthy hands off of her."

Your body freezes; you recognize that baritone tone. 

Sure enough, no later than a second after, your peripheral catches sight of Levi and his golden cloak. He’s the one delivering the threat, though you soon realize he’s not alone: Erwin, to his right, assesses the situation with a sharp gaze. 

Your lips part, eyes rounding at the sight of them. How they found you, you know not, but you know that you're in for one a hell of a talk.

"Golden cloaked guards from the palace." The stranger's eyes are wide with fear as he stares back at you. "But that means, you must be..."

"No one you need to concern yourself with," Levi says dryly, stepping in between you and the man, "now, I won't repeat myself, if you wanna live—scram."

The knot in the man's throat bobs uncertainly, but he seizes his chance while he still can—he scurries away. You scowl, watching his retreating form. You know Levi only let him go to avoid stirring attention, but that criminal deserved a lot worse than what he got. Under your rule, you'll make sure the people working these streets receive better protection from people like him.

You do not get time to consider this matter for very long, however, because you’re soon reminded of your guards' presences. You turn towards them, face devoid of emotions. 

Levi's eyes narrow. "Explain." 

“Not here.” Erwin steps closer to you as well, looking over his shoulder. “We’re drawing unwanted attention.”

Levi sheathes back his sword, his glare still directed at you. “Fine. Let’s go then.”

Despite their words, you stay rooted to your spot.

“It wasn’t a request.” Levi turns, clearly exasperated. He grabs your wrist.

You grit your teeth, glaring at him. You know better than to argue with either of them right now, but you don't appreciate him manhandling you like a piece of meat. 

“I will once you unhand me,” you hiss.

Levi’s gaze levels with you, looking at you like you were glass. He finally releases you, but not without his own flair; he crosses his arms over his chest, staring at you like he expects you to make a run for it, to fight him on this.

You roll your eyes; how dramatic. Even if you could somehow outrun them, your bravado for tonight has all but vanished. 

And so, you diligently follow them, with Erwin leading, while Levi walks behind you. Both of them are quiet on the walk back, the sound of their armors clinking through the cobblestone streets of the city. Neither wish to attract attention to the fact that they were escorting the future queen of the realm, heading straight into the castle's back way passage.

It is the calm before the storm.

"What the hell were you thinking, Princess?" is the first thing Levi says the moment he ceremoniously drags you into your chambers, hand firmly attached to your elbow.

Levi forces the cloak and weapon off of you, a glint in his eyes that makes it clear he's pissed.

You glare at him, ripping your arm away from him.

Out of your two guards, Levi Ackerman is always the one quickest to rile up. You think he has a bad temper and a mouth that ought to be washed with soap. For this reason, you often bicker with him, partly because you're often too prideful to admit defeat, but also because you secretly enjoy the banter.

Tonight, however, you do not have the will to fight.

"I do not know, Levi." You sigh, heading towards your vanity to place down your bag. "I just wished to wander by myself, I suppose." 

"Into the Perfumed Quarters? Don't you know what business goes on in that part of town?"

You whip your head around. "Of course I know. I'm not an idiot."

"Really?" Levi sneers. "Could've fooled me, Princess."

He pops the p in your title, just the way he knows you hate it. Your eyes narrow. 

"Let her regain her breath, Levi," Erwin interrupts, effectively breaking apart this building feud. He's made sure to close every door, every window, shut. He sidesteps the broken vase, the pieces of which are still scattered by the entrance. "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for all of this."

Erwin observes you, seeking to understand. He's different from Levi in that way. He's more patient, more calm than his counterpart. Still, under that mask of stillness lurks a cleverness that you've learned not to take lightly.

You hate this—hate that you've ended up caught red-handed by these two men, by your friends. How did they even notice you were missing? You thought you were being discreet.

Knowing them, they probably defied your orders and checked on you, only to discover your treachery. You sigh, cursing yourself inwardly. Out of everyone who might have caught you, why did it have to be them? This feels like a cruel joke from the Gods. 

The three of you grew up together. First as a girl and two young squires, later as a princess and her two knights. Yours is a relationship forged in friendship, in trust, in loyalty. Where the princess goes, so does her two guards. There is no one she trusts more.

You've heard the whispers over the years. The words that rivals in court like to spin—those who'd rather slit their throats than see a woman like you sit on the throne. A whore, the little birds whisper. A princess that dared to lower herself by opening her legs not to one, but to both her guards.

None of it is true, of course.

But perhaps it is the spirit from earlier that emboldens you, but you find yourself wishing it were, to at least have this part of yourself that would be yours.

"Earth to the princess of the realm," Levi's chastising voice echoes in your ears. One of your eye twitches. "What the hell were you doing tonight? Don't you know what those places offer?"

“Of course I know, Levi. Did you ever consider that I sought such an establishment for that exact purpose?”

“...What?”

It is no secret that Levi’s mother was a prostitute. You know he doesn’t see the job of a working woman or man as lesser, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t look down on people who take advantage of workers and enable establishments from profiting off their labor. 

It must bother him, your words.

You try to soften the blow, because you don't want to lose his good opinion of you, whatever it may be. "I did my research, Levi. I picked one run by a woman, one that treats its workers fairly, with good compensations and living conditions."

"But, why the hell are you looking to... to go to a brothel? You've never… your chasteness—"

"Fuck my chasteness."

Levi’s brows knit together, though the rest of his face looks more in a stupor than anything else. You, on the other hand, are now filled with explosive emotions.

"Why did you seek such a place, your Highness?" Erwin finally speaks up, his smooth voice easing some of the tension in your shoulders. "Why not talk to us about it first?"

Your eyes flicker towards him. There's Erwin. Level-headed, calm, clever Erwin. Always asking just the question you most wished he didn't.

"Because…” you hesitate, “because I wish to know what it is like. I wish for things to be my decision for once, to decide how and where I..."

You close your mouth, feeling yourself growing hot. You know you shouldn't say these words to them. A princess shouldn't want pleasure. A princess shouldn't sneak off to seek a brothel. And a princess should especially not discuss such matters with her two male guards.

They both fall silent, which only renders the situation more awkward.

"You could have at least asked one of us to accompany you," Erwin suggests.

"Would you?" Your gaze is that of tepid coolness. "Would you have let me go?"

At that, both your guards seem a little torn. Levi's eternal frown hasn't wavered, while Erwin's eyes are intently on you, as if you were some puzzle needing to be solved.

You swallow, sitting at the edge of your bed, interlacing your fingers into a knot.

"You heard my father earlier. Soon, I will have no choice. I will marry. And I know it is my duty, I know it. But the idea of someone forcibly taking this part of myself before I am ready to give it up makes me ill. So yes, I went into town. Because I wanted to find this side of myself on my own."

Silence falls. You feel their gaze on you, heated and intense. You look at them. Their expressions tell you enough.

"You see," you say bitterly, "even if I had told you, you would have stopped me." 

Steps usher towards you. In a heartbeat, Erwin is kneeling in front of you, eye-level with you. His gaze speaks of compassion, of soft understanding. "It is because we worry for you, your Highness. We've known each other since all three of us were children. We do not wish to see you harmed at the hands of a stranger."

For some reason, Erwin's words make you glance at Levi. You wish to know if Erwin's words ring true. 

Levi clears his throat, a pout forming on his lips. "Princess, not every lover is created equal. You should... you deserve to know someone who pleases you."

Something heavy fills in your chest.

“And a brothel wouldn’t give that to me?” you ask in a crestfallen tone. “Aren’t they trained in the art of love-making?”

“That is not for us to say, or to judge,” Erwin answers. “But it doesn’t stop us from worrying.”

You stare at your bare hands, reeling them into a fist over your lap. This whole situation feels so deeply unfair.

“Tell me, why must my body be used for breeding grounds?” you ask, more to yourself than to anyone else. “Why must my value only be placed for what’s between my legs?”

Erwin stands back up, his presence a warm shadow on your side. To your surprise, both he and Levi take a seat next to you, with you in between them. 

"Princess, it is not for us to voice what is right or wrong." Erwin places a hand over yours; it sends jitters straight to your stomach. "But we wish for you to be safe."

Next to you, Levi interlaces his fingers on his laps. You can't help but notice how clean and well-trimmed his nails are, compared to even your own. How gentle his fingers look, amidst a sea of armor. You wish he'd place one of his hands on top of yours, just to feel both his and Erwin's touch at the same time. 

"You have known me since I was young,” you say. “Don't you grieve for who I used to be? Who I could have become? Why must I let some stranger do what he likes with me—”

You stop talking, feeling nausea churning in your belly. Clearly, you’re saying things you shouldn’t.

But this is Levi and Erwin. Somehow, with them, words always come out easier. With them, things have always come easier. Natural.

“Princess.” Erwin squeezes your hand. You still don’t look at him, but you admire his broad fingers, filled with scars that speak of past battles. “You know we will defend you no matter what. If your future husband forces you—”

"But what if I never want him? What if I want you both instead—"

You don't finish your sentence. Sandwiched between them, their breaths caressing your bare skin like silk, it's hard to think. 

To your surprise, Levi is the first one to speak up, "Finish what you were about to say."

Your eyes flicker to him. He's close. His gray eyes are relentless and charged, defying you to speak, like a great storm gathering in the distance. And his lips—

Are moving.

"Tell us," Levi says again, grating out your name. 

But you've never been one to say what you want directly—you've never been allowed to. Now that Levi is asking you to tell him, you hesitate. You raise a hand to your face, concealing your shame. "I'm sorry. I know that the two of you are, well, together. I don't know what's gotten into me. I don't know why I'm saying these things to you."

You know what the two of them are. Lovers. You know it to be true, because you see the way they look at one another, the way they talk. You’ve long felt envy in your heart—not at one of them in particular, but wishing you could be a part of it. Wishing that they would embrace you with open arms.

The truth is, you love them. You’ve loved them for a long, long time.

And you suddenly wonder: was this what you were seeking to find tonight? Did you simply search for them in others?

"Princess, we've both—" Erwin's voice beckons you back to the present. Your gaze falls on him. He tilts his head, smiling softly. "We have long known how we both feel about you. If duties and titles were shirked away, don't you know what we would have done by now?"

It is a bold thing he is saying—what a guard is saying to his princess. He could be exiled for such a statement, or worse. But Erwin has always been a bold man, one that takes gambles.

You just never thought you'd actually see the day where he would take a chance on you.

Before you can move, fingers slip between your own, filled with questions. You watch as Erwin carefully runs his thumb over your knuckles, gently turns your hand on his lap.

Instinctively, your head turns towards Levi, afraid that you'll find betrayal on his face for the way his lover is touching you. 

Wrong.

Instead, Levi's eyelids are half-lidded, an intensity to his expression as he assesses your every movement. It turns the spikes in your belly to butterflies.

"I..."

"Just say it." Levi says your first name again, like it was a prayer that would bring absolution to his sins. "Just give us the command."

But you do not wish for this to be a princess' command. You wish for it to be a woman and two men, bound in pleasure and feelings.

"I wish for your touch," you hesitate, "but not because I command it, but because you wish for it. Otherwise, let us never speak of this again. We can forget and—"

You mean to stand back up.

But a warm hand—Erwin's—snakes up to the back of your neck, forcing you to turn in his direction. 

And then his lips meet yours.

He kisses you. 

He kisses you... and your mouth parts in surprise, feeling a buzz of energy vibrate across your body, a path of tingling sensation scattering upwards like dozens of tiny birds flapping their wings. Erwin's kiss is chaste and innocent, like a schoolboy kisses a crush. Soon enough, he leans away, vibrant blue eyes gauging your reaction, and when you stare at him, slightly disoriented, he smiles.

He should have known you’d want more. You’re a spoiled thing, after all, used to the finer things.

Which is why you grab him by the collar and demand another kiss.

Erwin's chest vibrates as he chuckles, and his hands gently fall on your waist as he reciprocates the kiss. His lips open up to you, like a flower blooming under the sun. His thumb fumbles with the thick of your dress, a gentle sigh escaping his lips as you lean away.

A lopsided grin graces his lips and you can't help but return it.

"Forgetting about me, already?" comes a drawl from behind. 

You turn to Levi, amused at his impatience. He's got a brow raised, staring at both of you with a slight pout on his lips. The sight makes you stare back fondly. 

"I would never," you say.  

Levi’s flicker to your lips. Where Erwin was bold and self-assured, Levi is more prudent, like he thought you might catch on fire if you touch him. 

And so, you make sure to set you both ablaze by pressing your lips to his. 

For a moment, nothing happens, Levi just sits there, frozen.

And then, like a switch happening in his mind, Levi's hands fall to your jaw, his fingers winding into your hair, along your scalp. His restraint slips past him as he slides his tongue into your mouth, warm and alive. Your mind reels from the sensation, so different to Erwin’s softness. Levi tastes like black tea, the kind you always see him drink each morning. Levi pushes into you, making you bump against Erwin’s broad chest, and your heartbeat soars the moment you feel Erwin’s steady hands on your shoulders.

Who knew that kissing could feel so lovely, so intoxicating? Who knew what it would be like to feel the embrace of two lovers, of the two people your heart has yearned for?

Levi groans against your lips, his fingers cupping the valleys of your cheeks. Your movement pushes you further onto Erwin, forcing him to lie down as the bed creaks under your combined weight.

When Erwin chuckles, his husky voice vibrates against the back of your skull.

"Ngh —s-slow down, Levi," you huff. "I'm suffocating." 

"Can you blame him?" Erwin says languidly, the back of his fingers brushing across your exposed forearms. "You're a delight."

Levi finally slides away, his blown-out pupils taking in the sight. You, all disheveled, resting against Erwin, whose eyes gleam with knowing pride, with love. The knot in Levi's throat bobs. What a sight he has in front of him, for only him. 

With a swift hand, Levi undoes his cravat, neatly folding it and placing it on the nightstand. When he comes back at the end of the edge of your bed, he stands there, assessing you with hawk-like seriousness.

Shyly, you offer him your hand.

He takes it.

Without saying a word, you guide him back to his seat, nudging Erwin upright with your other hand. Slowly, you intertwine their fingers together, overlapping them on your lap. You watch with evident admiration at the marvel of golden, calloused skin blending with slender pale fingers, the expanse of their knuckles filled with scars that's a testament to their pledges as your knights.

A smile creeps on your face. Both your lovers watch as you lean back, propping yourself on your elbows while they stay seated upright at the edge of your bed.

"Now it's your turn," you tell them, “… if you want."

Understanding flashes on their faces, though it manifests differently for each of them. On Levi, it comes across as perplexed hesitation, looking from you to Erwin, like he didn’t think you'd want to witness this. Erwin, however, seems to have seen this coming, because his mouth twitches as he bends down to capture Levi's lips with complete confidence.

Levi outright melts into Erwin's touch.

You'd long imagined the two of them like this, kissing. Hands exploring one and another, lips moving in perfect accordion, eyes fluttering shut.

But seeing it now , shared with you… it’s something else.

You love them. You love them so very much.

Because there’s so much adoration, respect, and mutual understanding to be seen here. Erwin’s patience, taking and enjoying, contrasted with Levi’s desire to be filled and devoured, all in the span of this little shared space that now belongs to the three of you.

When they break apart, you are certain your eyes are hazy with desire.

"We got a bit carried away," Levi mutters.

You hum. "I liked it." 

You swear a hint of pink kisses his cheeks.

"So we're really doing this?" Levi grumbles. His eyes gleam on you, dark and heady. "It is a sacrilege, what you are doing, Princess. You are debasing yourselves with two people who are far beneath your station. We are not worthy to defile you."

You frown, looking from him to Erwin, searching for an answer on how to make it right. Erwin’s face is blank, and you understand it is up to you to convince Levi, not him.

You reach out for his hand.

"Levi," you say softly, sliding up next to him. Behind, Erwin's fingers brush the nape of your neck, as if to praise you for this step. You look into Levi’s eyes, earnest and true. "In this life, there are not many things that will be mine to pick. So, please... would you be mine?"

Levi melts at your platitude, He takes in the rest of you. You, with swollen lips and hearts in your eyes, must look like quite the delight.

“The two of you are the same,” Levi says, leaning closer with vibrant eyes. “So damn corny.”

You let out a chortle that sounds more disbelief than it does laughter. Levi and his wild mouth. You still think it ought to be washed by soap, though you suppose that it’s got its charms. 

Levi leans back, removing his shoes. Next to him, Erwin chuckles, reaching to unclasp his own armor. Like a giddy young girl, you help them, picking up each piece of worn leather and laying it at the base of the bed, making sure it is all neatly ordered for them to easily dress afterward. Once finished, the two men then take their turns disrobing the outer layer of your dress, with Levi grumbling, “how do you even breathe in this thing?” until you are clad in nothing but your chemise.

You shiver. This is the barest you've ever been in their presence, a vulnerability that feels both thrilling and intimate. 

For safe measure, you lock the doors—this time, you know no one will interrupt. Only you, Erwin, and Levi have a set of keys.

When you turn back around, Erwin and Levi are both gazing at you, their eyes charged with an intensity that makes your chest lock. They inspect you like you inspect them, their eyes sweeping over your form. A lifetime of knowledge, of love, of duty, and honor, hangs behind this moment, this relationship. It pulses in the air, a recognition that this, right now, is a turning point for all three of you.

Because tonight changes everything. 

And you’re prepared to let it.

— Next part / Fic Playlist

[nightscythe]

hii! do you take requests? if you do can you please do turn ons for the primarchs plss? thank you ^^

apologies this sat in my inbox for a while, i had to really think about this one! as usual this is how i view them so please bear that in mind, and sorry if i went a bit off topic.

nsfw, 18+ below the cut but i tried to keep it somewhat tame. mostly pre-heresy

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lion: this was the hardest one. i dedicate my life to this man and this is what happens? innocence and purity, for sure. he's the knight in shining armour, here to save you from everything, even if he can barely get more than a few words out to you before he wants to see you choking on him... when you wear white, when you speak so softly he almost didn't hear you, when you listen to every one of his words directly and do everything he says. it might not immediately turn him on. but he'll be standing somewhere days later, and the image will come back into his mind, and the second he can come find you and show you just how much it turned him on. so then in the same vein, submissiveness as a whole is just it, even in everyday life, but that one time you spoke back to him and put him in his place, took control? never leaves his mind. so really... its the thought of you that turns him on.

fulgrim: of course he would find nice things appealing and i think out of everyone he would appreciate the trouble of a beautiful outfit or especially something more risque like lingerie. probably loves corsets and how they look as well, more so than everything else, and things like gloves and thigh highs etc. aside from that, is majorly affected by things that involve some kind of risk that means you have to prove your trust for one another, which translates to more nsfw activities like choking, knife play, temp play, etc. finds it very endearing to be shown just how much you love and trust him - which brings me onto praise, which he loves receiving and would ultimately turn him on the most. along the lines of 'oh, i am that good, am i?' as he pins you against the bed type thing.

perty: a general turn on would be someone's intelligence, he'd silently watch as someone demonstrated their own skills and knowledge which impresses him generally, but if romantically involved then he'd feel a sense of inner pride that comes from it, if that makes sense? also innocence in the form of experience, ie you're shy and timid especially when it comes to sexual/romantic acts. just think he would enjoy being able to unravel that innocence in his own way. on the same vine, teasing innocently would probably be up there as well. thigh highs that you wore because it was cold, an outfit that exposes some skin as you lean across him to grab something, a playful expression that has a double meaning. oh, and if you touch him very softly, again innocently - cue the heavy breathing and dark stare.

khan: so yes he's a dominant man but if you flipped that and showed him your dominant side it would really get to him. silently, maybe, but he'd watch intently as you raised your voice to him and argued your point so diligently. and its not that he's not listening he's just... enjoying the show. wondering if you can replicate that inner power that night when you ride him or something. your voice itself is a big turn on as well, more specifically noises, he loves the sound of your cries and whimpers and whatever else you have for him. would also appreciate your show of strength in a way similar to your dominant side, but moreso focused on the fact you can diligently swing a sword or whatever your expertise is.

leman: i feel like he respects strength similarly to the khan and seeing you with some kind of weapon, even if its your wit or your tongue, makes him feel a certain way. proud, for sure, but he'd be recalling it later in his mind and getting hot and flustered about it. and if you were ever possessive over him, in the way he's possessive over you? go off, baby. hearing you claim him is intriguing to say the least, he'd want to hear it again for sure, because he's as much yours as you are his. but aside from this, maybe it's just a natural progression of affection that turns him on. you know, he wraps his arms around you from behind, nuzzles his head into your neck, you arch your back just a little, run your fingers through his hair and hold him closer to you, he just wanted some love, but the bed is where it ends up.

dorn: his stoicism is out of the window the moment you speak a few words out of tone to him - as in, responding with something suggestive, leaning into slight dominance or submissive tendencies, or teasing him ever so slightly. the suggestion of something catches him off guard and would obliterate him inside for far too long for him to ignore. he's got everything planned out so meticuolously for you and this would really throw him off guard. so spontaneous acts, i suppose, time away from the worry of preparation and planning, an outward show of your love and affection. oh, and if you ever teased him. like obviously did it. held his gaze a little too long and commented on how you missed him so much. exagerrated parts of your body right in front of him and invited him to touch. then walked away, knowing he was following very closely behind.

curze: i just think he wants to be needed. he can be intimate with you without it, but its just different. say one night you wake up, you've had a nightmare or some thoughts you just can't get rid of, and where he usually isn't beside you - he's there that night. the way you throw yourself into him and bury yourself in his chest, hold him so tightly, tell him what happened like he'd stop everything for happening. at first he's enamoured, but he can't get it out of his mind. a distraction as he tells you he'd never let anything hurt you. or maybe it's something more lewd. he finds you in the dark, his name on your lips, telling him how badly you need him. he'd do anything for you in that moment, he'd give you everything you needed. outside of that, anything soft, taking his dark mind away from its usual thoughts, reminding him of you.

sanguinius: consulting my draft i put 'blood (hehe)'. who knows what i was going on about.. its not often he would divert his attention from what needed him, and usually between you its just a case of one thing leading to another. but there would be moments where he looks at you, almost illuminated by the sun, and he's so love struck its as if cupid himself shot an arrow straight in his heart. he can't think of anything else, he can't concentrate, he just needs you in that moment. and was anything different to normal? probably not, he just got caught up in his thoughts and the way your skin shone, your body curved, etcetc. in a similar way to fulgrim i think showing your trust in him would also inadvertently cause some feelings he didn't expect.

ferrus: check this out - he's so much bigger than you, he's got you pressed against a wall because you said something, a soft tease, a joke that suggested something he hadn't yet considered, he's got your hands held in his own above your head. and there's no turning back. having you in restraints of his own doing, seeing how your hands both fit in his? he's breathing heavier than lorgar in his religious rituals. and i dont think it started out with him actually being turned on, he was teasing you at first, but now he just can't stop thinking about it and how good you'd look if you were naked right now...

angron: emotions are tricky, but he doesn't not understand. and hearing soft words, feeling your touch, knowing that you care, it's enough - and it can send him in the direction of desire quicker than both of you expected. he'd struggle with doing anything similar back, with him its never soft, and i guess that is the thing. i feel like it would be his way of showing back to you how he feels, and therefore its almost like a conditioned response. knowing that, despite everything you still are there, it's enough for him. to summarise - I love you elicts a response of him reaching for you and showing you he loves you too. does that make sense? hope it does. lots of showing not telling.

rob: so let me just explain a scenario. it's cliche but holy. he's a stack deep in paper work and hasn't seen sunlight in a while. you come along and sit your pretty self right on the desk in front of him and force him to pay attention to you instead. quiet his protests that he's not finished, tell him how he's doing such a good job, that you see how hard he's been working, and that he needs a break and won't take no for an answer. perhaps you go for a nice walk. perhaps you offer him another type of break right there on his desk itself. but the praise and recognition, the very slight dominance, and his personal sanctuary right there... his favourite things all at once.

morty: i'm doubling down on my mortarion is a dom accusations. he loves it when you're submissive around him in every day life, no need to be on your knees begging but just, asking him for permission to do things so innocently and sweetly at first, about something irrelevant such as going to bed early. then it would be more nsfw activities like, can i kiss you here or can you please help me feel good. and at the same time the punishment that goes alongside it. you don't listen to him? you don't wait for permission? he'll have you begging and regretting ever not listening. you know, or he is submissive and this is just reversed. otherwise i feel like a major turn on is someone who has a much less depressive look on life, who has enough optimism to share with him.

magnus: as much as he wants you to stroke his ego and tell you how good he's doing, or how good he makes you feel, he wouldn't go a second without giving it straight back to you. seeing how happy you look when he praises you genuinely warms his heart so much - maybe whether he is the one giving or recieving praise defines how the next moments with him go. even subtle acts like going directly to him for advice or answering questions. would also enjoy being in control, he wouldn't be exerting that control often but knowing if he told you to drop to your knees you would? pair that with him knowing if you had a dream about him the night before or you were thinking about him when you were doing something important? that you couldn't take your mind off him and that's why you ended up pulling at his hands to take him somewhere quiet? oh, it's insufferable.

horus: its very subtle with him. he's not showy with his likes and dislikes, trying to keep everyone happy and all, but there's just small moments that get to him which all relate to his quiet dominance over you. the way your eyes search for his in a large crowd, how you hang onto him and clutch his hand, how you stand just slightly behind him when you're worried. it all builds up in his head. then you're alone and he will have the opportunity to ask you if you're okay and you quietly whisper back yes daddy. his mind is blank for a second. and he's reminded of how badly he wants to hear you beg from him to breed you, and yeah. control, i guess, knowing he has that level of control over. oh! how could i also forget knowing his sons think you're hot af. what a power play.

lorgar: the obvious here is his absolute worship of you, how he practically devotes himself to you and promises to take worlds in your name if you asked it of him. the thought of being submissive to you in that way, the very act of submitting himself in those ways - that's what turns him on the most. bonus points if you accept it without a doubt in your confidence. i feel like he has a thing for subtle exhibitionism too, touches in front of people that really shouldn't see, stolen kisses and words that really should be kept behind doors. knowing someone is there to witness just excites him a little. i also feel like, in a really weird way, his jealousy would turn him on too. not sure how to articulate this at all, but my oc astreya is literally sleeping with him, kor phaeron and erebus (chaos hoe).

vulkan: think i have mentioned before that size is a big thing for him, seeing how small your hand is in his, how your body practically curls in his, sometimes he just has massive heart eyes that are a little too hard to ignore. so when you come to him for things, when you tell him you know he will always protect you, or just even to open a jar or something, it gets even worse. i feel like with him its almost accidental, one thing leads to another type scenario. he's got his arms around you, one kiss to your temple, one hand reaching a little further over your waist, and he's immediately turned on (a massive fan of foreplay, btw). the romantic element of your relationship i suppose, as well as praise - both towards you and from you. just anything done with pure warmheartedness, loyalty, and care :)

corax: this one is a bit more nsfw, sorry. i feel like he deep down has a thing for anyone who talks back to him. such a quiet and brooding figure, there's gotta be something deep down the writhes when you defy him or act 'bratty' in general, even if unintentional at first. say he asks you for some time alone, he needs to look at something important or whatever, and you say no playfully, it just unlocks something. he asks again, more aggitated but there's something else behind his eyes. so you say no again, and he may just pin you against the wall, the bed, whatever is closer, and ask you if you really want to play that game. of course you do. so does he. maybe he'd hold your chin and make you watch in the mirror as he has his way with you, something very intriguing about being behind you but seeing your face as well. outside of that, again if you touch him gently, innocently, in just the right spots, knowing exactly what you're doing, it gives him an involuntary twitch that only you can solve.

alpharius: probably takes his control to the next degree with anyone he loves. it's about ownership now in his mind. and if you play into that as well? if you remind him that you're his, that no one else can have you. may just stir him in a way that's irreversible. likewise, any affection is a turn on for him, but exagerrated gestures are something else. not just a kiss, but straddling him, sitting in his lap and feverishly kissing him as though its the last time you might be able to touch him? anything initiated by you actually. it hits different. otherwise i would probably say your innocence as well. not knowing what he's doing behind the scenes especially (as before, i do see him as yandere). the way your sleeves cover your hands or you hold onto him tightly when you're a bit worried. anything that really plays into that yandere fantasy of his, i guess.

[olderthannetfic]

/olderthannetfic/769334704445997057/another-fandometrics-year-in-review-another-bevy

I am - genuinely - very sympathetic to the frustrations of solely f/f shippers and I DO think some people are a little too quick to shrug off the lack of f/f in fandom spaces with “lack of representation in media what can you do” when fandom is all about assigning personalities and backstories to one-line characters. HOWEVER. As someone who likes all kinds of ships, the experiences I have had across many MANY fandoms with solely f/f shippers treating people who also liked the main m/m ship as traitors and bad feminists, not to mention the number of people who have told me, a trans man, that I HAVE to write more f/f and less m/m For The Sisterhood, has made me LESS likely to engage in f/f, not more. Some of y’all are your own worst enemy when it comes to this stuff I swear. (Hashtag not all femslashers, hashtag some of my best friends are femslashers, etc)

--

Demands that people defend and explain perfectly commonplace things always end up generating dumber and dumber explanations.

I agree that that explanation by itself is kind of weak, but "Why are you asking only about AO3?" (as people often are) plus representation problems plus the other commonly cited reasons add up to a perfectly sufficient explanation. People just don't like what they're hearing.

--

The kind of f/f fandom people are often looking for—a by cis wlw, for cis wlw one—is not that different in size from the by cis mlm, for cis mlm one. They are both small.

Yes, I know they pretend that's not what they mean. They are lying. Possibly to themselves. Just look at the bawwwwing over the idea that cis men liking f/f could add to the amount of f/f art or the audience for the same.

Many AO3 slashers are better compared to transbian catgirls making lesbian furry porn or cis dudes horny for Buffy/Faith or something. There are plenty of people who care about f/f. They're just not necessarily the ~right~ people in the right spaces making the right art to count in some wanker's statistics.

Part of the reason our explanations and discussions always sound so bonkers is that we constantly compare apples to oranges.

--

And while we're at it, let's talk about that hoary old ~one-line character~ thing.

The reality is that we like to talk about how we elevate random walk-on characters, but the vast majority of shippy AO3 fanfic is about fairly major characters. Clint/Coulson was bizarrely popular in 2012. It has been twelve years. It is time to get over it.

On top of most things focusing on leads, the focus is often on characters who are given a lot of interiority. The audience is invited to be in their head and care about their feelings. People aren't usually good at analyzing film, so they use more familiar metrics involving text: how many lines do they have in the script? How many minutes does that translate to on screen? They don't know how to quantify a character being treated as an object to be looked at beyond "Booty shorts bad". But it's not general sex appeal or amount of skin on display that matters here.

As audiences, we respond to film grammar and "Just happen to like" or not like some character as a result of it, but we aren't aware of the mechanics, so we can't explain why beyond vague spluttering and "How dare you! Everyone should think this because it's the natural response!"

In general, media with multiple central women who have intense relationships with each other and who are conventionally attractive generate plenty of interest in f/f. Media with one hot girl who has the camera trained on her ass all the time while the men do everything interesting usually don't.

It's a no brainer and the harebrained explanations come from trying to look deeper to find the secret conspiracy where there is none.

--

The biggest mistake of most of this dumb discourse is "But I see all these queer women here. Why isn't there more f/f?"

This presupposes some default "normal" level of f/f without any actual justification for why that would be expected. You see the same nonsense from people going "Why is there so much m/m?"

What's the default? 10% because of the fake statistic that 10% of people are gay? 75% because action movies are sausagefests and all the important relationships are between men? What's the "normal" level of femslash? 25% because f/f, f/m, m/m, and gen are all equally valid? 80% because lots of fanfic writers are women?

Chasing one precise number is a fool's errand, but building a whole theory on the idea that there's an implicit number without even digging into that assumption is more foolish still.

When you look at the fanfic (or art!) spaces that are full of dudes, they often look like a bit of a mirror of AO3. Lots of het still. Lots of f/f. Lots of lady blorbos people are obsessed with. Limited m/m. Depending on the space, there might be a lot more gen. It's not perfectly 1:1, but then AO3 isn't precisely like other chick-heavy fanfic spaces anyway.

--

In my experience, the thing that makes a blorbo take off is that they're fairly major in canon, often driving the narrative even if they aren't the main protagonist, and they show up early.

In the cases where they weren't there at the very beginning, them showing up was the catalyst for fans who like this type of character to get into the canon at all. It's not just Castiel: you see it with Methos from Highlander and plenty of others. It's usually in a context where that fandom didn't have that much established for this type of fan. There wasn't a second dude to pair the lead with or the ship turned some people off or something. Highlander, for example, had fucktons of het shippers, both of canon het and of various OFCs and canon dudes. It was the slashers who stampeded over there when friends told them there was new ship potential for m/m. SPN... Sam/Dean was very popular on LJ, but I think it's obvious why a viable non-brother ship was of interest to people. I watched tons of people get pimped into Teen Wolf for Sterek. Of course they ended up liking it and not really caring about other ships: they were pre-selected to like that specific vibe. (And they are all wrong because Scott is the best and Derek has weird teeth.) The same thing happens with f/f. People get into media all the time because they're promised such-and-such a ship dynamic.

Wynonna Earp had plenty of people who were there for the women because the women are who matter for the most part. People were super into the canon f/f because it's hot and because it didn't seem like they were just going to get hit by a bus and shooed out of the narrative.

How many things that everybody and their sister saw have that many main women who matter? Some, definitely, but they're outnumbered by the sausagefests and by the things with very central het. Not everything with a huge audience gets a big fanfic fandom, but most things with big fanfic fandoms do have a big audience. You need critical mass to make a fandom happen.

Something like MCU has a variety of tasty shipping options, but the characters it spent all its time on first were the small selection of guys fandom cares the most about. When other characters were established very early, they also had an early spurt of fandom. I can't be the only one who remembers Pepperony fandom on LJ. It wasn't just people tagging canon ships in the background: Pepper/Tony shippers were a whole thing.

Yes, there are exceptions, but we make a big deal of them while ignoring the overall pattern.

Again, it is time to get over Clint/Coulson, Arthur/Eames, and people hallucinating that Hux had a personality in that first movie.

These are rare exceptions, and they're all snark-based at that. Darcy Lewis was also obnoxiously popular based solely on a few lines of snark, but that didn't count because she wasn't the correct and virtuous choice of favorite female character.

(Seriously, you should have seen the whining about all the people horny for Darcy who didn't give a fuck about boring Jane. Sorry, but your blorbo is a snooze and mine has amazing tits in addition to being funny.)

--

Let's go look at what's big on AO3 since it's easy and that's what other lazy statistics compilers do and then base their whining on:

Looking at the M/M tag, here's the sidebar:

Castiel/Dean Winchester (111856)

Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (70823)

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski (70134)

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson (67796)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers (61397)

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) (56548)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (55109)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (49179)

Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku (46679)

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (44754)

I'm seeing canons with huge audiences. Teen Wolf and SPN are way more popular in fanfic fandom, relatively speaking, but they're certainly not obscure media.

I'm seeing a lot of leads. Sirius/Remus does stand out a little: they aren't walk-ons, but fanon did elevate them. Same with Draco, but main protagonist/most obvious nemesis is hardly a surprising ship type.

Let's play with exclude filters and see what's next (numbers won't be exact since this is via excluding the previous batches):

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (43234)

Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji/Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian (40115)

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V (38398)

Keith/Lance (Voltron) (32757)

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) (32744)

Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester (31834)

Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) (31527)

Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) (31011)

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter (30819)

Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (30133)

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson (27403)

Original Male Character/Original Male Character (26854)

Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou (26854)

Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin (26454)

Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov (26453)

Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF) (21154)

Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion (20946)

James T. Kirk/Spock (20716)

Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin (20561)

Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet (20113)

Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru (20039)

Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio (18806)

Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel (18013)

Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier (17577)

Dan Howell/Phil Lester (17518)

Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager (17404)

Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know (17390)

Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou (17141)

Tartaglia | Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact) (17041)

Harry Potter/Severus Snape (16773)

Oh look: more leads.

Sure, there are some little oddities, like the fact that taekook is obviously the worst BTS ship and it is a personal attack on me that it is that popular. But come the fuck on: this is a parade of some of the most famous musicians and most popular anime, shows that had huge audiences and particularly huge audiences of the type that like fanfic.

Let's have a look at f/m:

Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug (33773)

Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy (33031)

Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s) (29586)

Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (24192)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (21606)

James Potter/Lily Evans Potter (21088)

Kylo Ren/Rey (16028)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader (15922)

Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley (15635)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (15335)

Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (14552)

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully (14214)

Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin (13616)

Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson (11471)

Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak (11383)

Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan (11272)

Castiel/Dean Winchester (11187)

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added (10529)

Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov (9750)

Original Character(s)/Original Character(s) (9736)

Okay, it is AO3 after all, so some m/m ships have snuck in there, but the general trend is still leads, leads, leads, now with some readerfic. (For James/Lily, you can blame the insanity that is Marauders fandom on TikTok, or so I hear.)

And f/f:

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (21520)

Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s) (17873)

Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan (16168)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (13681)

Clarke Griffin/Lexa (12876)

Adora/Catra (She-Ra) (11532)

Amity Blight/Luz Noceda (10880)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (10532)

Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends) (8925)

Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long (7766)

Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler (7369)

Korra/Asami Sato (7146)

Wednesday Addams/Enid Sinclair (6720)

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added (6684)

Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught (5764)

Original Character(s)/Original Character(s) (5529)

Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell (5347)

Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein (4895)

Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo (4662)

Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggie (4402)

Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan (4284)

Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer (4223)

Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam (3936)

Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova (3876)

Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca (3700)

Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva (3689)

Castiel/Dean Winchester (3664)

Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price (3471)

Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs (3394)

Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee (3324)

Carmilla might be a little obscure compared to some media, and some other ships have snuck in here, but again, we're seeing some fairly prominent canons and the leads or at least main cast who have intense relationships in those canons. If most fantasy tv shows were Once Upon a Time, all of AO3 might be awash in nothing but swanqueen and captainswan.

The big thing that one sees is simply that f/f fandom often revolves around different media, while m/m and f/m are more likely to be into the same stuff that's full, full, full of main dudes getting to do things with one woman who matters.

We do not, in general, elevate anybody.

Not unless some very talented writer leads the way first with a juicy longfic that establishes all the fanon.

We repeat the myth that we do because it suits a certain narrative about how creative and transformative fandom is—and another equally popular narrative about how the lack of ship A/B is a ~conspiracy~ to rob one of one's rightful overflowing feed trough of fic.

It's bullshit.

We write about leads.

[saltnsugarbear]

holy water cannot help you now (18+)

summary: after telling Lip you don't get the appeal of sex, he decides to enlighten you

title from: "Seven Devils" by Florence and the Machine

word count: 1.2k

content warnings: MDNI!!! Lip calls reader kid, mention of recreational smoking, innocent-ish reader, Lip is a little freak /pos, afab reader genitalia, vaginal fingering, oral (reader receiving)

side note: found a way to mention my new ghost undies I love them <3

divider by @strangergraphics

It starts when Lip gives you your first joint.

That fire in his belly as he watches you hesitantly wrap your lips around the bud. It gets worse when you cough at your first hit, watching how your eyes water.

At first, he thought it was a sense of pride. Proud you felt comfortable enough to trust him, proud of you for taking that first hit.

When you asked for a hit from his cigarette a week later, he got the same feeling. This feeling of hunger clawing at his throat as he watched your chapstick leave a faint ring of red around the filter.

"That's all you're gettin'," He tells you, taking the cigarette from your hand. "Don't need y'gettin' addicted.."

His words make you roll your eyes, blowing the smoke in his face. In response, he cuffs you around the back of your head, ruffling up your hair.

"You're addicted to 'em.. Don't know why it matters if I am.." You mutter. You don't mean to pout, but you find it a little hypocritical that he's going to warn you about addiction.

"Yeah, well, if I jumped off a bridge, would you follow me?" It's meant to be a tease, a play on if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? question.

"Maybe.." You mutter, shrugging your shoulders. Lip wasn't expecting you to answer so honestly, getting you a surprised laugh from him. You watched as Lip brought the cigarette to his lips and shook his head.

"You're ridiculous, kid.." He mutters when he exhales.

"I'm older than you, jackass," you tell him, furrowing you brows as you look at him. Your response makes him roll his eyes.

Lip thought the curling feeling he got when he watched you take your first drag would be a one time thing.

However, when you explained to him you were confused about how sex could possibly feel so good, it just sounded so messy and uncomfortable, that the feeling came clawing at his brain again.

It reared its head at him when he asked you if you had ever watched porn, masturbated, anything that might give you any inkling of an idea about why it was so good.

And it's not that Lip got off on you knowing so little and being so innocent and letting him show you - okay, maybe Lip got off a little at the idea of you being this innocent. He had this perverted sense of pride, knowing he would be the one to tell you to show you.

But that also depended on if you wanted him to show you. Something about some stranger teaching you how to fuck made his stomach churn, made him want to tell off this imaginary person. When he asked you if you wanted him to show you how sex could be good, he wasn't expecting you to say yes.

So when you did, he was caught off guard. He didn't get shy, but he felt himself get anxious at the thought. What if you thought he was weird? What if he ruined this experience for you and didn't change your mind at all?

His thoughts were derailed when you sighed his name softly, looking up at him with doe like eyes. All of his worries are forgotten, focusing on just making this experience as good for you as he can. The way he kisses you is different than how he's ever kissed anyone. It's soft and slow and sweet. Everything he pretends to not be.

This is what led to the both of you sitting on the edge of the bed, Lip with one of his hands under your shirt, feeling up your chest. You're breathing heavily against his hair as his mouth kisses down your neck. Lip bites softly at a few different spots, drawing out a whine from low in your chest. He's quick to start slipping off the bed, his mouth kissing the fabric of your shirt over your stomach. His hands are the last to follow, gripping at your skin softly as he moves down until he's grabbing at your waist.

"Gonna let me take these off?" He asks you, pulling at the waistband of your pants.

"Mhm.." You nod, looking down at him. You watch him smirk softly, bringing his hand up to push against your stomach.

"Lay back then, baby.." He says as he starts undoing the buttons and zipper. You're quick to please, laying back almost immediately. Lifting your hips so he can slip your jeans off is easy, and he slips them the rest of the way down your legs and tossing them to the side. He presses a soft kiss to your calf before he's sitting up to really take in the state of you, taking in the panties you're wearing.

"What the-" Lip cuts himself off. The way he speaks is what alarms you, making you push yourself up on your forearms.

"What?" You ask anxiously, brows tugging together as you study him.

"Ghost underwear?" He asks you, blonde brows quirking up when he looks up with a smirk. His question makes your face flush, twisting your mouth to the side.

"They're cute! And fun!" You tell him. You had been excited about the little ghosts on the front of your new panties. Four of the five had little ghosts pasted to the center, the fifth having a whole pattern of the ghosts.

"You're gonna kill me, kid.." Lip sighs, pressing a soft kiss to your stomach as an apology. He listens to you huff as you lay back down, fidgeting as you wait for him to do something.

The feeling of Lips tongue over your underwear makes you inhale sharply. The hum he lets out as he laps at you through the fabric makes your hips buck into his face. Maybe you can start to understand why people love this.

Lip spends what feels like hours in between your thighs. He spends that time lapping softly at your core, slowly working you open with his fingers. The feeling of your first orgasm is overwhelming, walls clenching tightly around his fingers while he sucks in your clit. He spends even longer down there after that, thrusting his fingers in and out of you as he kisses your clit.

Both orgasms have your legs clenching around him, squeezing him between your thighs. The groans he lets out against you overwhelm you, bringing your hands to push his face away from your core. His pupils are blown wide when you look down at him. Lip's chin is shiny with your slick, his face is flushed, and he looks positively smitten.

Your chest rises and falls heavily, blinking hard to clear your head. You watch as Lip uses his thumb to wipe off his chin, popping it in his mouth to clean it off. When he's done, he slips your underwear down your legs before making quick work of his own jeans. Lip is slow to crawl over you, slotting his hips against yours with his cock heavy against your stomach. You can't help but whine softly, lifting your hips to get some sort of relief.

"Look at ya. Already got you begging for it like a slut..." Lip kisses along your collarbone, biting the skin softly.

"Please, Lip," you whine into his ear, rocking your hips up so you can rub against the underside of his cock. Your whining does little to dissuade his words.

"Gonna let me fuck ya? Make y'feel good?" Lip asks as he lines himself up with your entrance. "Gonna let me show y'what you're missin'?"

His words make you feel dizzy, but you're nodding anyway.

"Yeah, gonna fuck ya real good.."

[anxious-witch]

I apologize for irritable tone of this post, but a portion of this fandom is starting to irritate me, so let's analyze catwin through the lens of how age works for ghosts and how situational irony is used in a scene where Edwin and Niko talk about kissing.

Let's start with age. Right at the beginning, when Emma asks Charles and Edwin to take her case, she tries to play it off as her being just a little girl. This is what Edwin replies:

And before anyone jumps the gun and says: "He said SUPERNATURALLY speaking! He is still physically 16!"

Okay. Let's unpack that. Considering how for people who are immortal, which ghosts essentially are, and as such unchanging, that isn't quite a proper argument, is it? Because the way I see it, there are two ways someone could argue this. Either your gripe is about the Cat King finding Edwin attractive despite him physically being a 16 year old or your gripe is that Edwin is mentally 16 and as such, cannot consent.

If it's the first, I think that argument is quite lacking here, because we know the Cat King is aware Edwin is older than 16. And as someone who is an adult and often gets mistaken for a minor, I think the idea that you can just always tell someone's age by looking at them quite funny. Also, by that logic, I shouldn't be able to consent either, because people generally gauge my age to be between 16-18, when I am in my mid 20s.

If it's the second, your point doesn't work because being frozen at 16 would mean being unable to learn and develop firther than what you did by that age. Which we know is false for ghosts, especially Edwin. He changes and develops constantly throughout the s1, and we have a front row seat to that! Human brains aren't clear cut, and before you jump under the post to say your brain isn't fully develop until age 25, I will kindly tell you that human brains, in fact, never stop changing and developing. And that experiences, traumas, etc hugely impact developments of individuals.

One argument I can sort of is perhaps Edwin and Charles having somewhat stunted emotional growth, but as we also see throughout the season, that has more to do with them stagnanting rather than them being unable to emotionally develop. And frankly, I know bunch of adults with the same issues, so.

Now for the "But Edwin said he doesn't want to kiss the Cat King!" argument. How about we look at what Edwin says before that, huh?

He says he has never been kissed and didnt understand the appeal, until recently. And you cannot tell me it wasn't the Cat King who made him realize it. Yes, he wanted to kiss Charles and I am not saying he didn't like Monty too, but if it wasn't for the Cat King getting physically close to him and playing into his desires, he wouldn't have realized that he too, feel physical attraction!

As for him saying "Absolutely not!" When Niko asks him if he wants to kiss the Cat King, I think that's laughable argument to saying "Well, see, he didn't want him!" Because first of all, characters can lie. Edwin most certain, lies about things he wants, both to himself and others, up until pressed.

Besides, if I am not mistaken, given English isn't my first language and I learned this stuff in a different language, this is also called situational irony, aka, someone say something won't/can't happen and then it happens. This is very often seen in romance plots too. A characters says they hate someone and then they end up dating them.

Think of Lizzy Benett and Darcy

And then she goes ahead and married him later, once her opinion of him changes. It's a classic romance trope!

Similarly, Edwin says he doesn't want to kiss the Cat King and what happens at the end? Oh yeah!

He kisses the Cat King. Shocker.

But yeah just like. Y'all are free to not like the ship for whatever reason, but for the love of god, stop making up stuff that's just blantantly untrue. There is an "anti catwin" tag for a reason, if you truly cannot stop yourself from commenting, but in all honestly, you could just enjoy your own ship without putting other ppl's ships down. Cat King is not perfect by any means, but this isn't a predator type of situation. I and many others have addressed the whole "coercion" bit quite a few times so I won't get into it again, but these two arguments I have seen pop up and I just had to address it. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[artist-issues]

Tell me every reason you enjoy Zootopia enough to give it all the rewatches you do.

Every? Oh boy.

Good Story

Perfect Characters

Visual Appeal

Earnestness

Let me break it down.

1. Good Story

Zootopia’s main point is: “Try to make the world a better place by realizing we’re fundamentally the same.”

That’s a really good main point.

It has the benefit of being true. Right now our culture is super into “self-identification,” and this crazy contrast between, “I want to be able to identify as something special” and “Now that I know what categories I fit in, I can choose who’s ‘one of us’ and who’s ’not one of us.’” Okay well that sounds pretty and I’m sure it fulfills some emotional need at some point, but it’s actually super divisive, and self-serving, and it’s the seeds for all prejudices. Including racism.

Do we have differences in origins and experiences? Yes. Of course. Do we also have some fundamental things in common? Yes. Of course. Which truth are you going to give the highest priority to? If it’s “no, I’m a prey animal, I know exactly where I belong, that’s who I am, that’s how I dress, that’s my compass for how I interact with others” then you’re getting all your security from your “sense of self,” and being able to understand what that is…which is just a fancy way of saying “I’m all about me. My own perspective informs everything I do.”

Anyway. Zootopia’s message was super true.

And the coolest thing about it is that if only Judy were in the wrong, and the other half of the dynamic duo, Nick, was this open-minded, un-prejudiced guy…and she just hurts him and has to apologize…the movie’s message wouldn’t be as well-communicated.

They have their prejudices and their hurt-from-being-prejudiced-against in common!

They’re the same…because they’ve both felt what it’s like to be treated like they’re not “the same.”

Nick isn’t the only character being mistreated and written off because of his species. The whole first half of the movie is about Judy being mistreated and written off. They think she can’t be a cop because she’s little and cute and a prey-animal. They think Nick can’t be trustworthy because he’s sneaky and small and a predator.

So literally…if Judy represented one race, and Nick represented a completely different race…the movie would be saying that both those races are discriminated against. They even have discrimination in common. AND, if Nick represented men who people make assumptions about because he’s a man, and Judy represented women who people make assumptions about because she’s a woman—the movie would be saying that both those genders are falsely judged.

I mean. Wow. Right now, your movie is either pro-woman or pro-man. Right now, your movie is either BLM or white-supremacy. Everybody’s lining up on one side of the line or the other. Zootopia says, “it doesn’t matter what character you’re looking at, from the elephant that can’t remember anything to the two main characters—every single one of them has fundamental things in common, and one of those things is that they all live like they’re in their own special category. When actually, they’re all fundamentally the same.”

I don’t want to keep beating the dead horse. But I have a post somewhere that lists every background character and points out that each animal is the exact opposite of what you would assume they are based on their animal-stereotype. The otters are never shown being playful or snuggly, only traumatized and ferocious. The cheetah is fat and slow, not quick or even quick on the uptake. Etc.

Even if you look outside of characters—look at the sets. Look at the environments. The whole city is designed “for animals, by animals.” But it’s in neat little segments. The animals organize themselves by habitat. Of course, in one sense that’s practical—the polar bears can’t live in Sahara Square, etc. but the point is, by making Judy and Nick, the main characters, small animals, in a city where everything is built to accommodate by species—UGH this is so good—they have to figure out how to problem-solve in situations that weren’t made to accommodate them.

Little Rodentia? Judy has to avoid stepping on all the mice or knocking over their buildings. Parking tickets? She has to figure out how to jump to reach bigger animals’ windshields—or she inconveniences smaller animals because the tickets are all printed at the exact same size. Stuck in a cell? The guards didn’t think about the fact that small animals can fit down the pipes made to accommodate big animals.

Zootopia is a city advertised to be where all the animals can come together. But the way they do that is by trying to accommodate every species’ preferences. So then actually while they try to come together, everything from their cars to their districts remind them of their differences. The whole idea is that they prioritize the wrong truths. Yeah, mice can’t drive giraffe cars—but they still have “driving” in common. See?

And oh my word. Initially it was supposed to be a spy story. But they changed it to a buddy cop story. Why? Well because justice doesn’t discriminate. Or at least, it’s not supposed to. So then there’s another lens to look at the story’s main theme through.

It’s just that every layer, every perspective you look at the movie from, is just hammering that truth into you: “Try to make the world a better place by realizing we’re fundamentally the same.”

2. Perfect Characters

Every character is so well-thought-through in this movie, even the side characters. You get the feeling you could watch a whole movie based on the side characters, because that’s the amount of love and nuance built into them.

Look at the main ones, though. Bellwhether is supposed to be soft and a follower. She’s a sheep. Instead, she’s hard and bitter—and she’s a leader. A villainous leader, but a leader, nonetheless. Even as she tries to keep animals divided based on fear of their stereotypes, she’s not fitting her own stereotype. Her voice actress has this strained, half-hoarse, but sweet voice. Like you can tell that this character has spent a lot of time under pressure and trying to manage appearances. Appearing like she’s fine, and she can handle it—until you realize that the appearance she’s really managing is “the cultural fear-based identify of the city.” They dress her in plaid and flowers and she’s a farm animal, because that’s the kind of character Judy would be most likely to trust. But she still has green eyes, and jagged teeth, so that when she does start making evil expressions there are some caricature-pieces in there that come out and accentuate that.

Nick Wilde—everybody’s favorite—is supposed to be sly and smooth and shifty. And he is. He’s a fox. But he’s also brave, helpful, and trustworthy. The first time you see him is when he’s dodging out of the way of a bigger animal ignoring him and about to run him over. Well, that’s important.

Because Judy knows what it’s like to have to get out of the way of larger animals, because they overlook her.

So right off the bat, this character she has to get along with and work with, this character who furthers her development and nails the main point, is introduced in a way that has something in common with her. But he’s also introduced in a way that gives her an opportunity to focus on a different truth—that he is different from her. Because the sheep is yelling that he’s a “fox.” Right away, we’re back to species-as-identification.

And that’s what the movie does, all the way through. It presents new animal characters, and with those new animals characters, more than one thing is true at a time. And Judy has to try to focus on which truth is more important. “Try to make the world a better place by realizing we’re all the same.” Yes, Nick is a criminal. But Nick is also brave, helpful, and eventually, becomes trustworthy.

Judy, too. Judy is an incredibly well-done character. Because she believes, in her head, that anyone can be anything—which is not what the movie ends on. In fact, she goes from saying, “anyone can be anything,” to saying, “we all have limitations.” It’s not true that a fox can be an elephant. But it is true that a fox can be trustworthy. Figure out what’s true, and try to make decisions for the better, based on that.

I could talk about character design and acting. Ginnifer Goodwin gives just the right amount of smugness and self-confidence to Judy without making her unlikeable—you don’t realize she’s smug and her self-confidence is misplaced until she does, when she fails to make the world a better place for Nick.

Judy wears tight, actionable, well-fitting uniforms for the whole movie. In her civilian clothes when she comes to Zootopia, she’s wearing athletic t-shirts and shorts. Ready for action, that’s Judy, even in her civvies. Meanwhile, Nick? Nick wears loose-fitting clothes. Loud, patterned clothes that don’t match. Like he didn’t even what, ladies and gentlemen? Like he didn’t even TRY. “Try to make the world a better place…”

Because when you meet Nick Wilde, he’s long since given up on trying, in life. So his character design reflects that. He rarely even stands up straight, or opens his eyes all the way—his default is drooping. And guess what?

When Judy “gives up?” Quits her job? Goes back home? Stops trying? Her civvies aren’t ready-for-action, trying clothes. They’re loose flannels. And her “ears are droopy.”

SERIOUSLY, you can find things like this in every corner of the movie. For every character. Not one character is a throwaway, not in voice acting, not in design, not in animation, and not in narrative.

3. Visual Appeal

Which leads me into this point—no other animated anthropomorphic animal movie is as visually appealing as Zootopia.

What Zootopia does is it matches the best of the best anthropomorphic animal designs from past Disney movies:

And they marry it with this incredible intentionality with modern CGI.

Did you know Disney invents its own software for things like fur textures?

The sheep’s wool, the velvet pig skin, the fox fur, the bunny fluff—it’s all completely different textures. There’s no one “fur” covering all the hairy mammals.

Nick isn’t just orange. He’s orange with deep red and dark tufts. Judy has black tips to her ears, too—which helps the two of them look like, in some sense, they belong “together” in every shot.

It’s so important to the movie that the animals feel like animals that they worked this hard to do this. And then that extends to the textures of the snow, the ice, the sand, the wet leaves, the grass, the fire.

Every character moves like their animal, and like themselves. Nick and Gideon are both foxes, but they don’t move similarly at all. Gideon is aggressive and glowering and physical. Nick, again, is slouchy, leans on everything, completely non-confrontational.

Other anthropomorphic animal movies like Sing or Puss in Boots—they’re not doing both as well. Zootopia is appealing, without sacrificing realism completely, and without cutting character acting.

The lighting. Nope. This post is too long, I can’t talk any more.

4. Earnestness

There is no disingenuous moment in this movie.

The animators are never lazy. They always go for the challenge. They don’t cut corners. Have you ever seen “Over the Hedge?” I like Over the Hedge. But I watched it recently and it’s crazy how many shots are strategically placed so that the animators don’t have to solve a certain effects problem.

For example, when RJ sprays Hammy with cool whip to make it look like he has rabies? He doesn’t. You never see the cool whip leave the can. It just cuts away, then cuts back when RJ is pulling the can away from his face. The shots are also cut so that you never have to see gas actually come out of Stella—and you never see Vern’s full body as he gets back into his shell, just the upper part of the shell as he wiggles it around, going through the motions of putting it back on.

That’s because that stuff would be painstaking to animate. Any time one character has to interact with props or substances (especially liquids) that are not part of their model, it’s harder on the animator.

Zootopia? We’re getting full-on views of characters getting wet, fur and all, characters touching various objects and elements, foam coming out of the mouth, new clothes, new set pieces, multiple models, huge crowd shots of different animals in different outfits, all with their own movement patterns and acting.

And all that hard work and effort, aimed so totally at the main theme of the movie? Making sure it looks as good as it can? Not just that, but the way it’s written, the acting, is so genuine. They don’t hold anything back. They don’t shy away from real emotion.

Judy Hopps’ apology scene is brutal. She’s crying, having a hard time finishing a sentence, her voice is all tight. It’s not pretty, it’s not romantic, it’s like…ugly crying. And her character is wrong in a super embarrassing way. They're not afraid to go there. The writers, the actors, the animators—they’re not afraid of being too vulnerable with these character flaws.

So many movies, especially kids’ movies today—they just pull up and shy away from being real through their characters. They think a quick sad facial expression will get the point across. And it does. The audience gets that the character feels sad about whatever the circumstance of the scene is. But not as powerfully. Because you didn’t put as much work and heart into it.

Zootopia is all heart, from work ethic to vulnerability to the filmmakers enjoying what they’re doing, enough to make it as good as it can possibly be. I can’t explain it better, other than to say, you feel like they would’ve been happy making this movie much much longer than it was. You feel like they’re cramming every bit of joy and passsion into every little joke, every side character, every hair on a CGI bear.

There you go. Long post, you did ask for it

[captainpetebradshaw]

so i watched 2x22 "the wire" for the first time today and it was a near religious experience so you're getting my thoughts on it under the cut

I love how comfortable they've gotten with each other; talking books? disagreeing about books? garak asking if julian can't just use his status as a doctor to get them to skip the line?

"perfect health, huh??" julian is so offended by garak lying to him about his condition lol

"i'm a doctor, not a botanist" is this some kind of star trek tradition?

"why can't he just tell me what's going on?" "it sounds like you're taking this personally" "i suppose I am... It's just that garak and I have been having lunch together once a week for more than a year now" once a week?! for more than a year?!

and then julian angrily stabbing dax's plant in frustration. let it out.

unsure if quark called julian to come get the absolutely hammered garak from his bar because he's the doctor or because julian is literally the only social contact quark could think of for garak???

"i prefer to drink somewhere quiet" "quiet? excellent idea... we'll go to my quarters" "whatever you want. but first i must make a stop at the infirmary" guess garak wasn't drunk enough for that little trick

but he was drunk enough to not notice the bottle hand-off to quark

"make it stop, make it stop..." aww no, poor baby!

julian using his doctor credentials to basically break into garak's. guess they ended up in his quarters after all

"if i was ever tortured, [the implant] was designed to stimulate the pleasure centers of my brain to trigger the production of vast amounts of natural endorphins" i gotta say, that has some freaky fucked up potential for fanfics and i can't wait to see how often it has been appropriated in the last 30 years

"living on this station is torture for me, doctor. the temperature is always too cold. the lights are always too bright. every bajoran on the station looks at me with loathing and contempt" ah yes, the autism experience

"why don't you just shut the damn thing off?" julian, do they teach nothing about addiction in med school?

i had to rewind this scene a couple times because i was chanting "kiss! kiss! kiss!" in my living room and didn't listen to a word they said. the 4:3 aspect ratio is also doing its thing

"has it ever occured to you that i might be getting exactly what i deserve?" "no one deserves this" julian going from all that taunting and appealing to garak's pride to this???? unexpected softness incoming

garak telling this story about how he is responsible for so many people dying and julian just saying right now he's just concerned for his health and won't let him die??? "you need to turn that implant off and whatever withdrawal symptoms or side effects you may experience, i promise i'll help you through them" like this is insane. i assumed people shipped them for a reason (and lower decks made them "canon" for a reason) but i was LIVING watching this.

it also has to be said that andrew robinson is acting the ever living shit out of these scenes - fantastic

even odo can't get past protector mode chief medical officer doctor bashir

staying by his bedside? for hours???

shoulder touch denied!!!

it's wild, garak must be suffering so much in that moment but he's still spinning up some new potential backstory. maybe this time it's not a lie but we just don't know.

"and so they exiled you" "that's right! and left me to live out my days with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you." "i'm sorry you feel that way. i thought you enjoyed my company." "oh i did! and that's the worst part. i can't belive that i actually enjoyed eating mediocre food and staring into your smug sanctimonious face. i hate this place and i hate you." "ok, garak." addicts do get just absolutely hateful so this sounds pretty spot on to me.

on a side note, i don't think i could have done lunch every week with julian. he is smug and he has a big ego and i relate to the other senior officers who were sometimes a little condescending in their reactions when he was boasting about something or other. but that's ok, i don't have to. garak enjoyed it, it seems.

garak: you still have to learn the truth julian: heart eyes motherfucker

"why are you telling me this, garak?" "so that you can forgive me. why else? i need to know that someone forgives me"

"i forgive you. for whatever it is you did" "thank you, doctor. that's most kind"

so julian goes and finds the guy who's kind of responsible for garak having that implant in the first place. it's also i think the first time julian acknowledges they are friends?

"how sick is garak?" "he's dying" "and you're trying to save him?" "that's right" "strange... i thought you were his friend?" "i suppose i am" "then you should let him die. after all, for garak, a life in exile is no life at all"

"thank you" "don't thank me. i'm not doing garak any favors. he doesn't deserve a quick death. on the contrary. i want him to live a long, miserable life. i want him to grow old on that station surrounded by people who hate him, knowing that he'll never come home again. "what a lovely sentiment" "and it's from the heart, i assure you" <- that made me laugh

we learn garak's first name!

he's well again! back to the regularly scheduled lunch date!

and he's got a new book recommendation for julian, how nice

"what i want to know out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't" "my dear doctor, they were all true" "even the lies?"

"especially the lies"

smiley boys!

this ended up being more of a collection of my favorite quotes from the episode but that's fine with me. it's my post.

[msschemmenti]

girl next door 🏠 - 5

a/n: sorry bout the delay-- very busy week at work and had a bunch of singing engagements this weekend. but here's this!

“Can you stop thinking about fucking our neighbor so loudly? I can practically feel the wheels turning over here.” Emily groaned as she turned to face JJ. It had been days since their girls night and of course they’d been whisked away on a case. As morbid as their job was that wasn’t stopping either of their minds from lingering on the conversations they had in their living room.

“Oh don’t act like you haven’t been thinking about it too.” JJ poked, leaning back in the hotel room’s office chair. “And I already know we’re going to discuss it when we get home– I’m just getting a head start.” JJ shrugged.

“And how are you so sure we’re going to discuss this? It’s not as if this is a normal scenario for us.” Emily tried (and failed) for disinterest.

“Which is all the more reason to discuss it. She said it herself– we’re depriving the women-loving women population as is. We might as well indulge ourselves, at least once. Plus it’s not like it’s the first time we’ve invited a woman to bed before.”

“But it is the first time she’s been more than a passing acquaintance.” Emily reminded.

“Well yes, but doesn’t the longing of it all kind of appeal to you a bit? It’s not like we haven’t been consciously and unconsciously thinking about her since we met her. And like I said it only has to be the one time.”

“I hear you but I highly doubt either of us will be satiated after taking her to bed once.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But even then, so what if she becomes a repeat guest? It’ll be pretty convenient at least. We’d be cutting a large part of the leg work, and still coming out pretty well in the end. No more fishing for good submissives across DC after a draining case. No more layers and layers of anonymity. We could even enjoy her company in the comfort of our own home. Sounds like a list of pros to me.” JJ listed.

“Logistically, yes it makes sense. But are we sure this is a step we want to take with someone we’ve already got a friendship with?”

JJ pondered briefly before leveling Emily with a shrug, “It’s not like were asking her to marry us. She’s obviously in the market for at the very least an orgasm and I think we can provide that. You heard her, she’s open to experiences– long or short. What’s the harm in giving her the option?”

“I guess you’re right.” Emily nodded.

“Of course I am. I don’t know why you’d ever doubt me.”

-

With classes started, there really wasn’t much time for Y/n to feel embarrassed about her drunken confessions on her neighbors’ couch. She’d always been a bit loose-lipped when alcohol was in the mix, but it was always things she 100% meant—just something she wouldn’t typically say aloud soberly.

“Diana– that was good. I can tell you’ve been working on this piece for a while. We’ll keep it in your repertoire this year but I think I’ve got a few other songs I’d like to add too.” Y/n smiled up at the sophomore from the piano bench. It was Friday afternoon and this was her last lesson before she could head home for the weekend. In week two of classes, she finally started to get into the groove of her schedule. Her students were all excitable and respectful. The work they’d turned in so far looked good. All the signs were pointing toward a very enjoyable first semester.

“Awesome, how do you feel about adding a little Anything Goes to the list? I’d really like to master the Patti Lupone belt and Professor Calkins wouldn’t let me even look at it last year.” Diana pleaded. It was only her second lesson (the first one she’d actually sung in) but Y/n could tell she would be fun to work with.

“Sure, why not? These are your lessons. Just let me know, and we’ll get the music.” Diana grinned and nodded before heading out of the office. With Diana gone, Y/n packed her things and headed home. As soon as she made it in the door, her phone was ringing as it typically did on Fridays. Grayson, a true creature of habit, called almost every Friday to debrief but they’d missed each other the last couple weeks and there was much to discuss.

“You’d be very proud of me.” Y/n smirked as she propped the phone against the toaster in her kitchen.

“I’m always proud of you, but your smirk is leading me to believe you got between your sexy neighbors.” Grayson beamed in anticipation.

“Not yet— but here’s to hoping!” Y/n laughed before continuing. “They invited me over for a girls night with their co-worker and you know how I get when I drink. I think I may have complained about them being together and leaving the rest of the lesbian population to date crazy people.”

“Oh, that sounds like you when you drink gin or tequila. You know gin makes you sin.” Grayson laughed.

“I know! I do think it was tequila though. I got a little silly towards the end. So silly I freaked when their friend said they have some sort of open relationship.”

“Open relationship? Shut up, no way.”

“I honestly think it’s a sexual thing. They look like the type to menage a trois.” Y/n explained.

“You say that like you, yourself would not also be the type to menage a trois for the right women.” Grayson teased down the phone. “Or should I remind you of that one time–”

“No! I don’t need you to remind me anything. I’m just saying, I feel like they’re the one and done type. With their job, they probably wouldn’t have the time for a consistent lover outside of each other.”

“Well you haven’t had a consistent lover in months, I don’t see the issue here. One orgasm is better than no-gasms.” Grayson urged.

“You’re such a bad influence.”

“Yes, but you love it. You know you want them, I know you want them. They even know you want them. I just think you should be open to anything that may come to your doorstep. At least once!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear ya.”

[dancermk]

I’m a little disappointed to see so much discourse, fandom competitiveness, and plain arguing going around at the moment in regards to queer film/TV. People complaining about too much sex, not enough sex, too cheesy, made for the hets, too happy, too sad, too realistic, too unrealistic, and a million other petty issues. I, for one, am a queer person in my 50s and I grew up with practically zero representation! Yes, we want to continue onwards and upwards with quality and varied shows BUT let’s be HAPPY we now have representation! Like, actual shows where the central characters are queer, not just a side character who gets f*cking murdered! There is room for all different types of representation - so enjoy the types you like, and let others enjoy what they like.

And on a side note: progress is progress and film/tv is a business that has to turn a profit! If some queer content is made to appeal to the straight community, and will also act as a means of reducing homophobia and increasing understanding, then that’s a good thing. That means in the future more and more content will include queer stories and representation. If only 10% (ish) of the population is the maximum target audience then shows won’t keep getting made!

There is a huge backlash all over the world right now - a “push back” by conservatives and religious groups that want to wind back the clock, and specifically the last decade of advances.

So stick together queers and LGBTQIA+ allies.

I’m super happy knowing I don’t have to wait years between content anymore. And I’ve loved all different types of shows over the last 5 years, for lots of different reasons!

Interview with the Vampire - is giving me the toxic, passionate gothic love affair I’ve always wanted. And addressing interracial relationships.

Heartstopper - is filling me up with pure joy and hopefulness for the future.

Shameless - gave me Ian and Mickey - unique, anti stereotypical gays with a tragic yet ultimately beautiful love story spanning 11 years

Lone Star 911 - is giving me TK and Carlos whose sexuality barely factors into the storyline! Yay!

Looking - gave me an authentic queer experience and an intoxicating love triangle.

Red, white and Royal Blue - gave me a sweet, cute romcom that allowed reality to be sidelined. Fun escapism!

Young Royals - had me captivated by first love and intense angst.

Fire Island - an underrated romcom that made me laugh so hard I cried.

Sex education - shoved the realities of sex in our faces and provided me with laughter and drama and a range of queer identities.

Gentlemen Jack -gave me historical lesbians with spectacular wit, and feminine power.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg- because there’s SO SO SO many more shows I could mention! Don’t at me because I didn’t mention YOUR favourite. This is my point! There is SO much great content it would take all day for me to include everything. This is just a sample - and that’s f*cking brilliant!!

So maybe we could all start posting/tweeting etc about what WE DO LIKE / LOVE / MAKES US FEEL LOVED AND SEEN and put down the device if we’ve got nothing nice to say.

Sending everyone a love filled week! 💜

[jillsandwhichs]

Two girls, one bed

Chapter 12 of RE Characters x Reader Smutshot Collection

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Ashley Graham

Summary: You and Ashley are staying at a Hotel whilst on a road trip. What the two of you don't realize is—you got a room with only 1 bed. Neither of ya's mind considering you're friends, so you share. One thing leads to another and, you two experiment a bit

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Friends

WC: 4.5k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Making Out, Dirty Talk, Slight breast play, Oral (Ashley receives), Fingering (Ashley receives), Clit rubbing (You receive)

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Closing the room's door behind you, you let out a loud sigh of relief. You set your hefty backpack down on the beige recliner near the TV area and simply soaked in the fact you two are finally at the Hotel. That drive it took to get here was no joke; You were both in the car for over eight hours, resting is needed, not optional. You stretched your body out once again, needing to let all of your wiggles out after sitting in that small vehicle for nearly half of the day. You got in the car around noon and it's now almost seven!

Ashley then entered into the room and giggled, dropping her bag onto the floor and removing her white coat before hanging it up on the rack beside her. She is just as exhausted as you are, though the excitement is overpowering that fact. She removed her white beanie (Which had a fluffy ball on the top) and carelessly dropped it on the floor. It has been extremely cold & windy outside today so you both made sure to dress for the occasion.

The reason you two are traveling together at all is because you are on your way to Colorado. Reason being you want to see the mountains and also visit a resort you two have been rambling about for months. A drive from Maryland to there isn't easy - pit stops at Hotels will occur. Luckily, money isn't an issue. Not only have you saved up but so has she and plus, her father is literally the President of the United States so the last thing Ashley needs to worry about is running out of cash.

Ashley glanced around the room then made a puzzled look, which then confused you. You sat up and looked around. "Is this not our room or something?" You asked her, genuine concern lying in your tone. "No, this is our room, the key card worked. It's just that there isn't double beds in here, as I requested." She raised an eyebrow and ambled over to the Hotel room's stationed phone. She picked it up and read off the number on the paper whilst dialing it.

For you, only one bed isn't an issue but it's a bit annoying. You'd like to have your own space when resting but you aren't a very confrontational person.

"Hello? Yes, hi. I'm Ashley Graham and I am currently in room 105 but I have a complaint to register... Yeah, so the room I got does only have one bed despite me stating we needed a double. Over the phone about a week ago, I was told room 105 is in fact a double." She can be so bitchy when needed & you love it. For some reason when it comes to your best friend, a lot of what she does is appealing to you and you'll never quite grasp what that truly means in your heart.

"So you can't just switch our rooms? It's not that difficult." Ashley stated over the phone. Through the line you could hear some older man babbling so you knew Ashley was getting sick of it by the second. "Fine, but just know, you will be receiving a bad review for false advertisement." She then hung up the phone and scoffed. "You know I'm usually not mean in that way but that guy had some real attitude." Ashley stood up and walked over to you before sitting on the end of the bed.

"What's the sitch then? We have to share a bed?" "Guess so but don't worry, I don't bite unlike the probable bed bugs they have here." Ashley joked and unbuttoned her jeans, taking them off right in front of you. You felt your face heat up but you were quick to look down, acting like you were about to pull out your phone. You and Ashley are very comfortable around one another, that is no secret. Although, Ashley does things around you that cause you to feel ways you don't normally feel.

One time in your guy's dorm, she "playfully" grabbed your boobs and squeezed them and that sent you over an edge that night; It was literally all you could think about for a good while.

It isn't any secret that young adult hood is all about exploring your sexuality in many different ways and so far, you haven't been confused. You've remained unlabeled. You do often find yourself attracted to women and fantasizing doing things with them but it's never been taken that far in the real world. You aren't a virgin, you had sex for the first time when seventeen and now that you're twenty-one, you think about sometime trying it with a lovely lady.

Ashley slipped on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top - this is the outfit she plans to sleep in. You brought a similar outfit but except for a tank top, it is a type of sports bra. You two really thought ahead. Knowing that Hotel rooms tend to heat up later at night, especially in this weather, you both brought casual and more lighter clothing. You got off of the recliner and opened your bag, grabbing your sleepwear out and glancing back at Ashley. "I'll go get dressed, then how about we order some room service?" "Sure thing." Ashley grinned at you whilst plopping down onto the large bed.

You entered the bathroom and closed the door behind you, though not all the way. You slid your hoodie off and instead replaced it with your night time shirt. Your leggings, they are black and thick, great for the cold weather, came off with ease as well. You put on your white & purple pajama shorts, making sure they were fit nicely. You checked yourself out in the mirror and smirked. One thing you've never been insecure about is your body. You are one sexy girl, you'll always believe that.

You tied your hair into a low ponytail as well. If you are eating, the last thing you need is greasy Hotel food managing to end up in your hair. You also snagged a white wipe from the counter and wiped off the minor makeup you have on. You just wore eyeliner & mascara today but still, you don't want to sleep in it and half of the time you forget to take it off.

Exiting the bathroom, you shut off the light and closed it behind you. You glanced forward and saw Ashley analyzing the menu provided to guests so they can order room service. She patted the bed beside her and smirked. "They have some good options, come look!" She said. You also realized the TV was on some reality show she must've put on. That is very Ashley of her. You sat down beside her and scooched close enough to see the menu and yeah, she wasn't fibbing.

You immediately spotted a meal you want to try - the smash burger with fries. You haven't eaten since around two so it's safe to say you're literally starving. "I want that, order me that." You pointed at the menu with a chuckle. She nodded and made a mental note. "That sounds good but I'm going to get a meatball sub, I can't wait to eat." She stated with a laugh before grabbing the phone once again and dialing the kitchen to order some delicious room service.

You hadn't really took it into account but she smells divine. All you can smell from her aroma is cherries & vanilla. It's a mixture of perfume and her body wash. It's delectable. You sighed deeply and bit your lower lip, ignoring her enticing scent as best as you could. Ashley is your best friend and you find yourself weird for having these thoughts about her. The most you two have ever even done is kiss a little bit and that was because you two were drunk, therefore, does it even count?

"Yep, that's all! Thanks." Ashley spoke kindly to the worker before hanging up the phone. "She said it'll be here in about ten minutes so until then, let's watch Gypsy Sisters!" Oh, so that's the stupid show she's watching, no surprise there. You snorted and nodded. "Yes, let's do it... Let's subject myself to torture." As you said that she nudged you and leaned back agaisnt the bedframe, her eyes locking with the TV and seemingly never leaving it - unless to look at you.

-

"Mmm." She practically moaned out as she took the final bite of her sub. You snickered and finished off the last few French fries you had left in the box they came in. She nodded and wiped off her fingers and face. Damn, that food was actually good. Well, it's probably only so good because neither of you have eaten for some time. Either way, you two are full and tired. You closed your box and tossed it into the trash can near the bed, Ashley did the exact same thing.

Whilst suffering while watching her stupid reality show, you two ate rather quickly. No complaints though, it was tasty and you feel dazed - as if you're food drunk. She laid back into the bed and covered herself up, grabbing the remote and turning down the TV. "Do you mind shutting off the light? I'm going to try and get some shut eye." Ashley emphasized on try considering she does often have a more difficult time falling asleep in new places. "Sure."

You got off of the bed and with haste turned off the light. The only lights now were from the television and the moon outside (During the Winter season, daylight savings is enacted). You climbed back into the bed and allowed yourself to relax. This feels different. You two are so close. You expected Ashley to move away from you but no, she cuddled up with her pillow and had her eyes closed. Not that you mind, you just thought she'd be as far away from you as possible.

Hopefully you'll be able to get a copious amount of rest tonight.

-

Slowly, you felt your eyes open. The room was so dark, so dark to the point you didn't even realize your eyes had fully opened up. With the slight moonlight casting into the room, you were able to spot the digital clock. It read of 2:45 AM. You got some sleep, but not as much as you intended and you already know it'll be difficult to rest again. You scratched your head and turned around and to your surprise, Ashley was simply laying there, eyes open but she wasn't doing anything.

"Oh, hey." You murmured, slouching back into the bed as you faced her. "Hi." Your best friend said with a soft, tired tone. It was cute. You smiled and sighed softly. "Can't sleep?" "Not really. You?" "I probably won't fall back asleep for awhile." "Me neither." Ashley chuckled and ran her slim fingers through her luscious blonde hair. You gazed at her though it was hard to see her due to the lack of light. For some reason, you just knew the two of you were looking into each other's eyes.

You bit your lower lip and looked away before whispering to her again. "It's so cold." You giggled, leaning up and reaching for the comforter, pulling it over the two of you. Ashley snorted and scooted closer to you in bed, allowing the comforter to engulf her smaller frame. With the two of you closer and the thick, heated blanket over you two, you felt your body heat back up in a way that almost thrilled you. The heat wasn't just thermal but deep within you too.

Looking back over at Ashley, you saw her looking at you again. Without being able to entirely see her face, you could tell something was different about her though you couldn't really pinpoint what it was. You closed your eyes and sighed; The best thing to try and do right now is get some sleep. However, you then felt Ashley's feet graze against yours, then her hand make it's way to your waist, her other hand supporting her head.

Your eyes shot open and you snorted. "You okay?" Now you were a bit concerned. "Sorry, should I move my hand?" She chuckled and moved it, feeling awkward now. Even she doesn't know what's gotten into her. "No," you grabbed her hand and licked your lips in a way that sent plenty of signals. "It's not a problem, not at all." She set her hand back onto your waist and chuckled before looking down, trying to think of what to say.

It's no secret that you and Ashley are close. Very close. You two do everything together. You two have also cuddled but in a way close friends would, but this? This is a bit different. You simply shrugged it off though.

Ashley caressed her thumb against your waist and let out a sad sounding sigh. She seems tired but also full of so much feeling, therefore it's hard to pinpoint what is going on with her. "Ashley?" You whispered but you were suddenly caught off when the feeling of her soft, floral tasting lips pressed against yours. You breathed in sharply and swiftly moved your hand to her cheek as you accepted the kiss.

That was surely unexpected.

You sighed softly and moved your lips with hers. Her hand gripped your waist and her mouth slightly opened, a clear signal. You giggled before slipping your tounge into her mouth, allowing your guy's mouths to conjoin. This is... Insane... You never ever thought this could even happen. You thought Ashley was straight so what is going on with her? You moved your hand up to her hair, playing with it and running your fingers through it's softness.

You don't know how to feel. You feel good, but when it comes to Ashley, you're clueless. She's never been this way before. "Ashley, Ashley, wait." You suddenly pulled away and caught your breath. Your hand didn't move from your face, but hers did from your hip. Now you're all sorts of confused. "What? I'm sorry, shit." Ashley wiped her lips and turned her body, facing the other way. Oh Ashley and her theatrics.

You sat up and set your hand on her waist in attempts to get her attention. "What is going on with you?" You whispered in a soft tone. You said it in a way that was kind and concerning, not demeaning and judgemental. She sighed deeply and began to bite her inner cheeks - a sign of pure anxiety. "Let's experiment some things." She sat up and glanced at you. Experiment? Ashley? This is comical.

You snorted and cupped her face. "You are straight, there's no experimentation needed." You chuckled. You could tell she was feeling ornery and irritated at your words. "That's the thing," Ashley sighed before rubbing her temple, "What if I'm not?" That's a question you've asked yourself numerous times. All you could do was slouch and cross your arms. "Why me then? You have other friends and even girls in your circle that are Lesbian, who would be willing to help you out." "Because I trust you and," she then climbed into your lap, earning a gasp out of you, "I do find you attractive."

Placing your hands onto her waist, you bit your lower lip and looked up at her. The room has gotten slightly brighter due to the moon's movement and you are able to see a bit of her face. She is gorgeous. You've always known that she was. "Okay." You simply said and with that, Ashley smashed her lips against yours, her tounge eager to connect with yours. You felt her tongue slide against your lips and you opened your mouth, allowing her entry into it and she was sure to be cocky with it.

You gripped her hips as you laid back agaisnt the headboard. You could just feel how needy she was and it seriously turned you on. Even if this is out of pure arousal, you don't mind. You find Ashley attractive too and it isn't always so bad to test the waters; You just hope this doesn't affect your guy's relationship at all. She moaned and pulled away from the kiss for a moment to pull off her tank top, leaving her in a bra and shorts. You are still in your sleepwear, it's practically the same as hers.

Ashley began to carefully grind herself against your lap. Fuck. You didn't think she'd do that. It's insanely sexy. Despite being able to hardly see her, picturing the clear image of her shifting against you sexually is arousing. "Oh," you whispered, holding onto her hips and helping her move against you, "That's it. Does it feel good?" You questioned her. "Yeah." She panted out and began to do it quicker, shifting her weight onto just one of your thighs now.

You are hers to use.

As she basically rode your thigh, your hands moved behind her and unclasped her bra. You've seen her tits before but never in a manner where you'd be able to touch them. "Can I?" You gawked at her breasts, just wanting to feel their warmth in your hands. "Mhm." She sighed deeply, her pussy becoming wetter by the second as she moved against you. You were quick to cup them both. You rolled her nipples between the tips of your fingers and you also squeezed them, their plushness was rather enticing.

She came to a halt on your thigh and her fingers gripped your bralette, removing it and throwing it onto the Hotel room's floor. You giggled and sat up, your chest now pressing against hers. It was so intimate. Even if this is just experimental, neither of you are able to deny the chemistry between you two. You kissed her gently and ran your tongue slowly along her lip before you two began to make out only now, it was slower and more passionate.

The sounds the two of you made together were ones of pure desire & horniness. Even with a man, you've never felt this way before. Is this a sign? Enough of that, you just want to focus on her for now. "Here." You lifted her off of you and laid her on her back. You pulled your hair back into a ponytail and that quickly sent signals of what you were about to do to her. Ashley felt her stomach heat up with need and she lifted up her hips, pulling her shorts and panties off with haste and allowing them to end up wherever on the large bed.

It's a bit difficult to see but you'll deal. You just want to show her how much more skilled a lady's tongue is compared to a man who knows nothing about a woman's oral pleasure.

Leaning down, you were face to face with her dripping cunt. She smells amazing, so feminine. You breathed in deeply before beginning to kiss & suckle on her upper, inner thighs. Ashley squealed and let out a soft noise of relaxation. Around you, she doesn't feel nervous. With the men she's hooked up with, she always has. She tends to feel unsafe with them. With you? She feels exactly how she does any other time except in the mood to get eaten out, funnily enough.

The popping sound your mouth made as you stopped sucking on her thigh earned a shutter out of Ashley. It feels so good for her. You are careful with her, sure to make her feel good inside. "You smell amazing." You whispered to her in hopes it'll relax her more and it did, truly. You switched to her other thigh and licked it before leaving a few more hickies on it. You marked what was yours for the night and if another man is to hook up with her soon, you hope the ass sees them.

Alas, her pussy. It's wet. You soaked her up real good. You are proud of yourself in truth. You licked your lips slowly before finally connecting your mouth to her special spot. Ashley gasped and her hands gripped the sheets beneath her. It's been a bit since she received head so naturally it feels amazing but for her, it being you doing it to her is a whole other & new feeling. "Oh God." Ashley sighed and spread her legs open further, giving you more space.

You chuckled and began to suckled on her folds. You lapped & licked at them. She tastes good even. "You taste... Divine..." It was hard to find a word to describe it but divine fit best. She takes good care of herself and it shows. You flicked your tongue against her clit before suctioning your mouth around it, sucking it up and rubbing your tongue agaisnt it in a way that was unique to her. "You're... God... Why are you so good at this!?" Ashley moaned, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as you continued.

Your nose slightly teased her nub as you lowered your head, focusing on getting her entrance extra wet. You stuck your tongue in & out of her little hole at a rate that she couldn't keep up with. On either side of your head, her legs were slightly shaking - you can only imagine how her legs are going to be here in a second. You moved away from her entrance after getting it soaked in your salvia and went back to her clit. That sensitive nerve, it is just begging for your smooth tounge.

Sucking on it again, you brought your two fingers up and chuckled, "Let me-" and before you could finish your sentence, she nodded aggressively. "Yes, please, fuck." She leaned her head back. Well, that was quite a way of saying yes. You then ran your fingers through her folds, picking up her wetness before ultimately sliding your fingers inside of her tight pussy, earning the most earnest moan from her yet. "Oh God..." She whispered. You felt her contract around you, she's already close, just from you sucking on her a little bit and now fingering her.

As your fingers slid in and out of her, you lapped at her clit and her folds. The combo was too much. Ashley could feel herself getting closer to her breaking point. For her, this is the fastest she's ever felt this way before. No man has broughten her to an orgasm this fast. "That feels so good, don't stop... Don't stop." Ashley begged you. She closed her eyes and just focused on the feeling which only fueled her soon to be orgasm more.

With just a few more thrusts of your fingers and a round of licking at her sensitive clit, she finally came around them. She let out a cry and her back arched. You felt her walls tighten even more around your fingers before you carefully removed them. As she came, you didn't stop eating her out. You continued and locked your arms around her thighs. You kept this up until she was literally shaking and telling you to stop. Unlike most men, you listen when told stop.

You pulled away and giggled, licking your lips and grabbing a tissue to quickly wipe away the access liquid from your mouth. Her legs were shaking and she could barely find the words to speak up. "Wow, I just... Holy fuck." She snickered and laid you back onto the bed. You shook your head no and tried to stop her. "I'm not a pillow princess Ashley, no worries." But she shook her head and giggled, "I'm not eating you out."

Then what is she going to do?

She pressed her lips against yours and you felt her soft, small hand trail down your body. You jolted at her hand over your clothed clit, then when she slid her hand beneath your shorts and underwear. "Just lay back, let me do this for you... I wanna see if I like it too." She admitted. Alrighty then.

The two of you kissed slowly and lovingly as she rubbed your clit. Her fingers are skilled, is she sure she hasn't done something like this before? Or... Well... She most definitely has... To herself. You giggled at the thought and considering your mouth opened as you did, she slid her tongue back into it and kissed you. The kiss was wet and passionate, but it was also everything you've been yearning for as of late.

Ashley's fingers sped up and you moaned softly, which you rarely do. "You like?" "Mhm." You said with a shaky voice. Her fingers moved quicker and with more pressure which was quick to make you cum. As you did, you kissed her, your hand holding the back of her head. She giggled and pulled away after you finished coming down from your high. "Well..." She said awkwardly, crashing onto the bed beside you. "I'll have to evaluate this experiment in the morning." You laughed loudly at her statement before kissing her cheek.

"I think the results are clear doc, you are gay." You joked and she giggled. "In all seriousness though, take your time. Sexuality isn't easy. Trust me, I of all people would know."

You then laid your head back onto the pillow and sighed deeply.

Now how are you supposed to sleep after that?

[imlosingitiswear]

Tw: pure vent and lots of screaming

I sincerely thought that I'll be able to keep this inside but the latest episode has made me mad beyond reason so I shall let the anger out, even if it's only for my mental health's sake and no one ends up reading it.

Spoilers alert (though I won't be talking about the events, just their execution) for ep 3

EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT THE LEGITIMATE HELL IS THIS ABOMINATION OF MINDLESSLY COMBINED MANGA PANELS WITH NO THOUGHT, CARE OR YEN SPENT ON ANY EFFORT ASIDE FROM SHINY LOOKING STILLS

I am an animator.

I have fallen in love with animation ever since I started watching anime.

My first anime was Kuroshitsuji.

My reason to be where I am today, creating what I do, fighting for what I believe is right and worthy of passion comes from Kuroshitsuji.

The reason I feel things the way I do comes from Kuroshitsuji.

And some business head only looking to steal as much of the already-limited-budget as possible IS NOT GOING TO BE THE REASON I FOREVER DESTAIN THE STORY AND CHARACTERS WHO COMPRISED MY FIRST EVER CONSCIOUS FEELINGS TOWARDS THE CRAFT OF ANIMATION.

Oh I'm sorry, WAS IT PERHAPS TOO HARD TO NOT ONLY LOOK AT THE SOURCE MATERIAL BUT ACTUALLY READ IT THE WAY INTENDED?

Was it TOO HARD TO ACTUALLY FEEL WHAT THE CREATOR WANTED YOU TO FEEL WHILE I'm not even gonna say reading cus its more of an EXPERIENCING THE MASTERPIECE THAT THE KURO MANGA HAS, IS AND CONTINUES TO BE NEARLY 20 YEARS AFTER ITS CREATION???

Was it THAT. HARD. TO PUT EFFORT INTO THE SOUND DESIGN AND TIMING OF YOUR SHOTS AND HOW THEY CONNECT TO THE OTHER SHOTS WITHOUT MAKING IT LOOK LIKE A FANCY POWERPOINT PRESENTATION???

I feel sorry for every animator who has had to bust their bum to make a shot look pretty and "appealing" even though that's absolutely not what the aesthetic of this project demands it to be but that is partially me being very attached to the og style and also finding NO REASON WHATSOEVER FOR THE COLORS TO BE THIS BRIGHT, MAKING THIS ANIME BLEND IN WITH EVERY OTHER ANIME FROM 2020 ONWARDS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE RIGHT??? THAT'S WHAT KIDS THESE DAYS NEED - SOFT, CUTE, BIG EYED, PAINFULLY BRIGHT POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS WHO MAY OR MAY NOT MAKE NICE PC WALLPAPERS FOR A FEW WEEKS BEFORE THEY'RE FORGOTTEN FOR THEIR LACK OF UNIQUENESS AND RESPECT TOWARDS THE MATERIAL THEY ORIGINATE FROM

I have no idea how Yana feels about this.

I really, really need to know how Yana feels about this.

How is it possible for you to take some of the strongest scenes in the story and execute them in such a boring and cheap way, it's almost like you were doing it on purpose at this point.

Do you guys notice how the new seasons are OBVIOUSLY made by people who have a business and not a creative brain???

They don't care about respecting the aesthetic, ever since the first episode of the school arc when they literally trademarked "Yes, my lord." to be a phrase that sells the character more than it respects it.

The animation is so unbelievably average, it's unreal. The key frames are pretty, sure, but they're not what makes an animation, THEY'RE WHAT MAKES A MANGA AND THE MANGA IS ALREADY BEAUTIFUL BUT MORE THAN THAT, IT ALREADY EXISTS?!?

THE POINT OF THE ANIMATION IS TO MAKE IT MOVE, MAKE IT AN ENHANCED EXPERIENCE THAN READING THE SOURCE MATERIAL, MODERN ANIME HAS FORGOTTEN THAT.

Everything, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE MONEY AND HOW THE BIG BUSINESSHEADS CAN PROFIT FROM THE AVERAGE VIEWER BECAUSE THE STANDARD IS DYING, WE'RE BEING SLOWLY MANIPULATED INTO CHEAPER AND CHEAPER PRODUCTS AND IT ALL SUCKS AAH AND I'M SO TIRED OF IT

You know what didn't suck? THE VOICE ACTING, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING EXECUTION ON THE VAs PART, AT LEAST THAT ARTFORM IS GOING STRONG

But that's not the point...

The point is. We're not doing anything to change what's happening.

As I said, I don't know how Yana feels about this and if this is indeed what she wants from the show, then so be it.

But I find that hard to believe.

But that's just me.

All and all, I'm probably reanimating this episode because f everyone, f clover works producers, I hope they get the profit they're so desperately punishing us for cus maybe, just maybe, they might start thinking about preserving the aesthetic of their projects more than their fancy heating toilets

[kira-fluff]

reaction to finding out you have a chronic disease | fem!reader x haikyuu!!

this idea popped into my head in the shower. shower thoughts are the best. as a chronically ill person such as myself (mentally and physically, LOL!) i felt maybe I was a little qualified to write this. these are all diseases i experience! i can def write some that i am not diagnosed with :) i'm a biology nerd, so i love learning new things, especially about diseases! some of these are more serious than others. i tried to keep the disease symptoms/descriptions general so it can appeal to more diagnoses (for example, nosebleeds are indicative of several different diseases) that way more people can feel represented by what i write!

‼️warnings: mentions of blood, nekoma team being dorks, seizures, WAY too many ellipses (sorry I just love them), pointless bantering (oikawa), dramatic af, osamu described as "caked-up" (sorry not sorry), railing on atsumu for shits and giggles, deep hatred of the word moist

want to see a different haikyuu character's reaction? request here! also, if you want to read a specific disease represented, i can see if i can put it in there too :)

✿ kuroo tetsuro "hey when do you want to- OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?!" blood dripped from your nose onto the gymnasium floor. "oh. another nosebleed. my bad, I'll clean that up..." you said apathetically. "hey, this is sort of a big deal, ya know? shit... yaku, I need a towel or something!" he shouted. they really weren't anything serious. ever since you were little, you had frequent nosebleeds. your mom wrote it all off as the cold weather (even in summer), so it wasn't really that big of a deal to you either (until a few doctor visits later). still, the apathy you felt toward your predicament remained. yamamoto had already rushed over at his captain's call. "does she need an ice pack, too? fuck, I don't know what to do...." "aren't you supposed to tilt your head up?" one member asked. "no, no i think you're supposed to tilt your head down...." another muttered. "GUYS, GUYS I GOT IT. GOOGLE SAYS TO 'sit down and tilt your head forward, pinching the top part of your nose above the nostrils for like, 10 to 15 minutes.'" lev sat back proudly, phone in hand. "can't believe you were smart enough to look that up..." kenma whispered under his breath. "hey, hey, look at me. you still with us?" kuroo said, a hand on either side of your face. despite the towel against your nose, you couldn't help but laugh. "oh my god, guys! it's not like I'm dying! this happens all the time." "but that's not...normal. did you ever get it checked out?" kuroo stared at you inquisitively, his brow raised. his fellow teammates nodded. you sighed. "look, unless there's a lot of excessive gushing or anything like that, they said i should be okay. yes there's a whole disease behind it all with a long-ass name that no one can pronounce and yes there are sometimes other symptoms that could result in death, but I'm totally fine, okay? I'm perfectly healthy!" "you poor, fragile angel..." lev said, a hand on his chest, distraught. "that... does NOT make me feel more relieved. at all. in fact, I'm more worried. should we go to the hospital? that one looked a little... gush-y...." kuroo said, pacing back and forth before setting his eyes back on you. removing the towel from your nose, you shook your head. "no. look, bleeding nose already gone, see? I'm not going to the hospital. I'm completely fine. relax, kuroo." kuroo stared at you for another moment, taking in your expression, searching for any signs of discomfort. at last, he sighed. "ok. fine. I concede. but if you ever feel the littlest bit unwell, tell me or one of us, okay?" after your agreement, and several more minutes of doting from both your boyfriend and all the other team members, you at last parted ways. as you got out of the shower that night, your phone lit up with a notification. tetsu 💕 [11:23pm]: I'm serious about what I said back there. please talk to me when you aren't feeling good. you mean so much to me that I can't imagine what life would be like without you. sleep well, babe. love you.

✿ osamu miya "damn are you o-- OKAY, YEAH, NO. SHE'S NOT OKAY." it was your average day as a supportive, amazing, fantastic girlfriend watching your iconic, sexy, hot, caked-up boyfriend play volleyball with his piss-haired twin and the rest of the team of inarizaki. unfortunately for you (and the entire volleyball team), inarizaki had a recent issue with their air conditioning units. even more unfortunate was the fact that the fans in the gymnasium were practically there for decoration, that's how useless they were. despite it being late march (still quite cool outside), the players and spectators were drenched in sweat. still, you weren't about to let a little (lot) bit of sweat deter you from cheering for your mans! so, you remained in the stands, cheering as loudly as you could (except for the times when you couldn't because atsumu was once again on his I'm About To Serve Power Trip). it was finally nearing the end of the game, and thank GOD it was because you were starting to feel reaaalllly light-headed. at the final score of the match, you stood up, but oh, was that a mistake. suddenly, you legs started shaking. the lights suddenly seemed to dim down and black spots were popping up in your vision. maaaaybe you should sit back down. wait. where is "back down"? it suddenly occurred to you that at this point, you couldn't see anything. beginning to panic, you started reaching out to find something to hold onto, thankfully finding the stair railing of the bleachers in your grasp. slowly, you blindly fumbled your way down the steps of what you hoped were the bleachers steps. you heard someone shout something along the lines of, "you good?" you were far too panicked and far too focused to give a reply. don't fall down. don't fall down. don't faint. don't pass out. you chanted in your head like a mantra. you heard the squeak of shoes against the ground and voices talking back and forth around you when suddenly a steady hand grabbed ahold of you just above your elbow. guess that was all you needed before your consciousness flickered, then extinguished.

-

"....cold like ice...." "...pale as hell...." you could only hear snippets of sentences, and your eyelids felt heavy. "....have something....with sugar, preferably...." when you finally opened your eyes, you were no longer in the gym, but in inarizaki's nurse's office. "hey..." you turned, now noticing the other occupant of the otherwise empty room. "'samu... did I faint again?" his eyebrows rose. "again? like, you've done this before?" "yeah. happens a lot. 's fine though. was a little scary back there for a minute, though." "damn, I'll say. I've never seen someone so pale. and sweaty. and that's saying something, cuz post-practice 'tsumu is disgustingly moist." "'samu, I love you, but never say that fucking word again." "what, moist?" you cringed, grabbing at your ears, "ugh, yes! I'm already dying here and now you're nailing the final mark in the coffin." osamu gave his signature half-smile. "I thought you said you were fine?" you scoffed, "that was just to make you feel better. I'm gonna need lots of cuddles tonight to wave off my near-death experience." he let out a light-hearted laugh. "okay. plenty of that for you regardless of whether you're on death's door or not." he said, giving you a small peck. you pursed your lips. "I need you right now, though." his face split in a full grin as he slid next to you on the small bed. "anything for you darlin'."

✿ oikawa toru "please... please be okay..." you had been enjoying your regular weekday study session. it always went as follows: meet up after class, head off to aoba johsai's library, study (and perhaps get slightly off-topic over some vending machine snacks and drinks), and at last, go to volleyball practice (perks of being a manager!). "ok, ok, we should probably finally look at what we're supposed to know for our next english exam," oikawa said, still in between chuckles. "but toru... i can't go on without a drink..." you clutched your throat dramatically. "must... have.... beverage.... dying of.... thirst!" oikawa laughed again, "geez, fine!" he said, attempting to sound annoyed by your request (and failing miserably). "I'll go grab us something to drink. on me." he winked. "wow. what a gentleman. you really spare no expense, spoiling me with luxurious drinks from the beverage box of wonders! oh how lucky I am to have such a supportive boyfriend..." you leaned back on your chair, drying a fake tear of gratitude, while simultaneously stifling a giggle. "damn, ok. fork out the yen, then, babe." "nooooo~~~ I was kidding! I'm sorry you're the best ever in the whole wide world~~~ my little piglet oinkawa~" "ok now you're paying for my drink too." "I'm sorry!!!! I won't call you oinkawa ever again." "thank you-" "to your face." after at least 15 minutes of more bickering (and no studying) oikawa was off to the so-called beverage box of wonders, also known as a shitty-ass vending machine that was probably last refurbished in the '90s. oikawa was still laughing to himself as he rounded the corner to the library, drinks in his arms. "hey babe, are you finally studying?" he smirked, finally nearing your small alcoved study area.

- thud, thud. the long-forgotten drinks fell to the floor as oikawa rushed over to you. there you convulsed on the ground, your eyes white and pupil-less, and your mouth foaming, turning a slight twinge of pink. you let out small grunts, completely unresponsive. "oh my god, oh my god, hey, hey listen to me." oikawa was already in full-fledged panic mode, tapping your face with his hand. "oh my god, SOME PLEASE HELP HER!" the few left in the library looked over at oikawa, then at you, before beginning to run about. one was on their phone speaking to a 911 operator, another rushed out of the room. one kneeled alongside oikawa, checking helplessly for a pulse. "protect her head." a girl read out from her phone. oikawa immediately shed his jacket, placing it under your head which was hitting the ground rapidly to the incongruent rhythm of your convulsions. "check her bag, does she have any meds?" "SHE'S MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND I THINK I'D KNOW IF SHE HAD MEDS!" oikawa shouted. he didn't mean to snap, but he felt so useless. were you hiding this from him? how did he not know you had seizures? were they always this bad? despite what he'd told the unnamed student, oikawa, jumped up, grabbing your bag and nearly ripping the zipper with the force he'd opened it with. no medication. "no meds." he said, quieter this time. a hand rested on his shoulder. "it's gonna be okay, man. look, she stopped." oikawa whipped his head over to you, chastising himself for removing his eyes from you for even a second. you were still breathing, but it was like you were in a deep slumber. by the time the EMTs arrived, however, you'd begun blinking your eyes lazily at your surroundings.

- "hey oikawa." you said, smiling. oikawa said nothing in return, his head in his hands. you sat there for a moment, taking in your surroundings. "wait a minute, where am i?" you felt a tickling inside your nose. at the touch of your hand, you realized you had a breathing tube hooked up you. another glance around the sterile hospital room showed your heart rate monitor and other cords wrapped up around the hospital bed. you laughed, "...and what's all this stuff on me?" "you had a seizure." oikawa said sharply, though not unkind. you stared at him once more in disbelief. "...really?" "yeah. I came back from getting our drinks when...when I found you lying on the ground, shaking. the doctor says you bit your tongue, which explains why the foam that was coming out of your mouth was pink. they want to do an MRI on you." "oh." you gazed down, then met his eyes again. "you... had to deal with that all by yourself?" "other people in the library helped me... though I don't think I was the nicest guy to be around. its sort of all of a blur." you smiled, "for me, too. I can barely remember what we were talking about before I woke up." oikawa's eyes widened, "really?" "yeah... but I think I'll be okay, as long as you're here." "this hasn't happened before, has it?" "no, not really. I mean, I've always gotten light-headed easily, which is sort of how I felt before I, ya know... went down... but never like that. I don't think. then again, if I wasn't here in a hospital bed, I think I would've just thought I fell asleep or something. it just feels like I took a long nap. still kind of tired, honestly." oikawa shook his head. "I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again." "oikawa, seriously. it's gonna be okay. I'm fine. nothing bad happened, right? I didn't die." "BUT YOU COULD'VE!" he shouted. "...you could've.." he said again in a whisper. suddenly, he got up. leaning over the hospital bed, he pressed his lips to your temple, leaving a soft kiss in its wake. "I just... I don't want to see you suffering. I don't want you to get hurt." "but you were there." "but what if I wasn't?" "but you were." you slid your hand over his own. "oikawa, it's gonna be okay, I promise. I'm a little scared, too, but... I know we'll figure something out, okay?" he let out a mix between a sigh and a laugh, "why does it feel like I was the one who had the seizure? some boyfriend I am, making you feel worse." "oikawa shush." you placed you index finger over his lips. "you're not allowed to talk about yourself in that way in my presence." he rolled his eyes, but his dimples popped out in a wary smile. "you're amazing, you know that?" you imitated deep-thought, your finger on your chin. "hmm... no, doesn't ring a bell." a full grin bloomed across his face now. "then I'll spend the rest of my life reminding you."

a/n: romanticize the source of your medical bills girlies 💕 it works wonders

[theshadowsingersraven]

so @gwyns (correctly, in my opinion) observed that e/riels are normies. i've also held this belief, as well as close friends of mine who have been in fandom and done things like RP'd on Tumblr, wrote/read fanfiction back in the day for things like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc. And @tsundoku-life asked this brilliant question: do you think this was inevitable, with how the idea of fandom has become more widespread?

I am someone whose been here for a while. This has been my one and only mainblog through the literal upwards of a decade I've been in fandoms. This blog has seen me through Harry Potter phase, dips back into Naruto (where my crippling addiction to emo boys started, if you stanned Sasuke when you were 12 also, I see you and I love you) Superwholock phase, anime phase, Fire Emblem, etc.

And genuinely? Yes. I think so. If it wasn't ACOTAR, it probably would've been something else with equally as popular, or easily marketable aspects. However, I do think there is a unique aspect to Elain and purity culture that makes this debacle particularly irritating. Essentially, I'm "Yes, and"--ing this question.

So, I think the thing with Elain is that, to E/riels, she is counter-culture. She's unique, she's the refreshing "not like other girls" character because this genre, understandably, has a lot of female characters that are trained in combat, politically savvy/trained to be spies, or have skills in areas that would otherwise be considered traditionally masculine. Aelin, Bryce, Nesta, Feyre, Manon, Lidia, etc. are often highlighted as being people's favorites, and often times are in positions where they have to regularly take direct action to get the plot moving.

(However, to be fair to Elain, she has not gotten the benefit of rotating POV and therefore more reason to take action like the CC and TOG cast. She is still waiting in the wings for her moment, and I want to give her a fair shake here.)

While I would not say these female characters are traditionally masculine overall, or that their feminine traits should be dismissed, if we're comparing on a scale of 1-10 (1 being most traditionally feminine and least masculine and 10 being most vice-versa), they are all closer to 10 than Elain is, if that makes sense.

However, if we step back and look at least American society overall (I can only speak to my experience, ofc), characters like Elain are the ideal. Traditional femininity, despite how it's also demonized, it's still "correct" to patriarchal society. And with the rise of conservatism everywhere and prevalence of purity culture, Elain is the perfect fictional sword to fall on to further conservative ideology. No one is immune to propaganda, but I don't think it's a coincidence that Elain having such overlap in purity culture via E/riel ship dynamics (she's so pure/perfect/untainted and she'll "save" him, etc.) and her traditionally feminine hobbies that tend to misalign with adventure/fantasy as a genre (you can look at how people treat Sansa from GoT, for example), can appeal to a more conservative mindset.

The poor, overhated, down-trodden female character that just wants to be feminine and refuse the role of a mate in a sea of "masucline" female characters kicking ass, taking names, and falling in love with their fated mates.

I don't think anything sounds more like a conservative woman daydream than that, tbh.

Conservatism thrives on the belief (mistaken one at that) that they're the underdogs, that they're counter-culture in this zeitgeist when in reality...they're just not central focus in a particular format or setting. It's hard not to notice the massive overlap in the love for E/riel, the E/riel version of Elain, and the current rise of conservative values. I don't think it's a coincidence at all that these all interplay. Does that mean that all Elriels are conservative? No, definitely not. I won't pretend to know their values, and I'm sure they believe that their insistence on a ""woman not owing a man anything"" actually applies to Elain directly without the nuance the subject requires (you know, about fiction and depiction versus endorsement, what it means to have a soul bond to someone, how fate is something SJM uses regarding mates and what it means to avoid something inevitable, etc).

But I do think said massive overlap is worth examining and does require critical thought. There's nothing wrong with liking Elain in the first place. I do, too. But I think the reasons why people like Elain and how those certain things can be weaponized against other people are uniquely conservative-coded when it comes to Elriels and their interpretation. Recognizing these overlaps isn't about policing who likes what but about being aware of how broader societal values influence our consumption and interpretation of fiction. E/riels will be the first to point out the "misogyny" in Elucien and that "fiction affects reality" (a statement that can and often times is true, but is irresponsible to use in a blanket statement without examining the subject in nuance), but they ignore the other side of this coin that reality also affects fiction.