#i am incapable of being normal about them sorry

[toxifoxx]

[lavender-phannie]

Even tho I was irritating as hell at 14 I miss who I was back then and how being a phannie felt back then

[herethereverywhere]

once again i am sorry i am incapable of being normal about this episode, but fuck, dude, the relationship between doug and summer. the hushed way she speaks to him over whatever device they use to communicate and the way she instantly goes to his defense when dakota takes a shot at him. doug not wanting to be around pd by allowing them to be in the space that has become the prime rifter’s home because he trusts summer with every ounce of faith in the world of heroes that he has left. the jab he makes at summer because nothing matters if the team isn’t safe, if she’s not safe. the words that neither of them say because there does not exist a word that can capture the gratitude you have towards someone who truly, saved your life.

[watatsumiis]

i think if the sagau were real my zhongli would be SO uncharacteristically full of himself

[basiltonpitch]

having benvi thoughts bc of course i am. will be sharing them later but just know i am going Insane right now

[bethiewhimsy]

also that did not help my love and adoration for will’s starry eyes why on this good green earth are his eyes literally the most beautiful in the world

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

just got my wisdom teeth out and owwww ow ow

pls give yves and montgomery helping reader after the surgury….. would love to see monty lovign on boss ass bitch reader who normally is so put togethre but now needs him to get them fresh ice eveu 15 minutes and listen to them whine about their whole mouth hirting

okay i was imagining them separate but now i am thinkign it wiuld also b funny if they were taking care of rwader together <3 but mostly i wann see put together reader forced to enjoy monry’s company but also be like well this is great that i don’t have to do shit myself lolz AHH just got blood on my pillow fuck

okay bye i go slep <3 i spit out part of a totth i’m not sure if that’s supposed to happen

thaaaaaaaank you an no oressure

"I know, honey." Montgomery petted your head as you whined about your gums throbbing in excruciating pain, his other hand helped you put the ice pack wrapped in a cloth up to your cheek. You kept moaning in pain, letting beads of tears roll down your cheeks.

"I'm sorry darlin'... I wish I could take your place for ya'." You writhe in his lap, but his hold on the ice pack never left. Montgomery planted numerous kisses onto various parts of your head, hoping to distract you from the swelling.

You felt him jolt when he heard the front door opening. You weakly tilted your head to see what was happening.

"What the fuck- I just changed the damn locks!" Montgomery, surprised, was scowling at Yves who entered your house as if he's coming home.

You let out a weak greeting, feeling relieved that he's here because he makes everything right. You expected him to fix this, to take away the agony that Montgomery is desperately trying to free you from but failing.

"Hello, dear." Yves smiled at you and disregarded Montgomery's presence entirely. His voice was kept at a minimum, as to not aggravate you more.

You close your eyes and bury your head in Montgomery's chest, knowing that it will take some time for Yves to wash and disinfect his hands before performing his usual magic. And Montgomery being the man you loved, smugly took this as a sign that you chose him over his rival.

You heard some shuffling. He has returned from performing his hygiene rituals. Yves must be preparing all the items he needed to perform a miracle on the coffee table.

"(name)." He stole your attention, making you lift your head up.

"Leave 'em alone, they're in pain and you're makin' it worse." Montgomery scooted away from the other male, who merely crossed his legs and watched.

"Open your mouth." Of course, he ignores the lower lifeform in the room.

You heeded his instructions and allowed access. Yves hovered his hand close to your face, only to be slapped away by Montgomery.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" He hissed. Yves glared at him and disinfected his hands again with some sanitizer.

"I am changing their gauze, it is completely saturated with their blood." His next attempt to extract the soaked gauze was successful.

"You were supposed to change it every 30 minutes, you fool." Yves spat at Montgomery but with his voice lowered to a hush, so you wouldn't need to be acutely aware that he's berating your partner.

Montgomery shot him a dirty look, but couldn't utter a word because the guilt started setting in. He realized that he should have known better, but he wouldn't admit to Yves that he's incapable of taking care of you.

"My love, when was your last dose of painkillers?" His tone softened considerably, almost like he was never hostile to anyone in the room.

You couldn't answer him. And he correctly took that as a confirmation that Montgomery never gave you any.

He brought his piercing gaze back up to the man holding you. He was merciful enough to let Montgomery explain himself, before tearing another one into him.

"I-I don't want my precious to be eatin' all kinds of strange--"

"Yeller, the painkillers are meant to relieve them of their pain. Hence the name; pain, killers. I do not expect very much from you, but I do expect simple comprehension of English. At least." Yves wasn't even looking at Montgomery as he removed a pill from a blister pack.

"I don't trust no pill, those damn side effects are gonna kill them!"

"It will not." Glowered Yves.

"Oh yeah? How the hell would you-"

"It will not, Yeller." Montgomery was about to argue again, but was immediately silenced when Yves presented Montgomery's hospital wristband from months earlier. Your husband was brought back to the time where he thought Yves was an oracle, with all the impossible knowledge he had on the two of you.

"...Whatever, you fuckin' prick." He looked away and let Yves handle your situation.

He fed you the pill and tipped the mouth of his water bottle to wash it down your throat. You didn't realize how thirsty you were, as Montgomery was too caught up in cuddling and cooing to keep you sufficiently hydrated. This didn't go unnoticed by Yves, he made a mental note to scold him on that later.

When that's all done, he instructed you to open your mouth again so he could put a new, clean gauze over the extraction site.

"Bite down." You did as you were told, and allowed yourself to rest on Montgomery's broad chest once again.

Your husband picked up the ice pack and began icing your cheek. "Everythin' is goin' to be okay, sugar. Everythin's gonna be okay..." He murmured, delicately cradling you in his strong arms.

Yves held onto your hand and tenderly caressed it. Neither man said a word and waited until you slipped into slumber.

Only when you're in deep sleep, did Yves let go of your hand and start to speak.

"I need to talk to you in private, Yeller." Yves is also scowling, crossing his arms.

"Can it wait? You know where I work and my schedule, and you have the fucking key to our home."

"Outside. Now." Yves pointed at the front door, his arm was rigid and voice stern. It almost made Montgomery flinch with how uncannily similar he is to the disciplinarians he used to fear greatly as a child. Perhaps he still does, even to this day as an adult.

"Yeah, yeah. Give me a moment and I'll let you call me stupid as much as you want..." Grumbled Montgomery as he worked carefully to lay you on the sofa.

Yves got up and marched outside to the porch, where the most explosive of arguments can take place without disturbing your sleep.

Montgomery followed soon after, trudging and deeply dreading whatever Yves might say. But he didn't leave without giving you another kiss on the forehead for good luck.

"I'll be back, sweetheart. Gonna get a little scolding from your... goddamned smother" He whispered.

While making his way out, he was mumbling under his breath about how nosy and stuck up Yves is.

While you remain blissfully unaware of the fight or your toothache.

[eldrith]

omg heyyyyy guys!!! <3 tldr for those of you who aren't the stupid cunt still spewing shit in inboxes: thanks for being kind & supportive and fucking normal. appreciate you beyond words, genuinely. my inbox is always open to you.

but to whom it may concern,

i am so fucking serious when i say that you, anon, need to grow up and start talking to real life humans for once in your life.

this isn't a joke. i'm so so so fucking embarrassed for this imbecile who stalks mutuals and any writer or account with decency in this fandom. you're so embarrassing. you are so clearly out of touch, there is something so clearly wrong in your tiny little pebble brain. it's a miracle you can even type words onto a screen because you're so inconceivably obtuse. (btw, you may need to reel in the extent of your lexicon - if you know what that is - for some of the things im about to say)

not only are you so impossibly, functionally incapable when it comes to media literacy - sorry, literacy at all - but you actively seek out to make incorrect points and its so troublesome... you need to learn context, subtext, implicit bias, nuance - honestly, grab a dictionary and look up what the term 'critical thinking' means too. you are SEVERELY lacking. you are deficient in communication and even worse with inference. i could laugh, and i have before.

despite the fact that this is all fictional - the truth is that we are all just people on here who enjoy writing or maybe enjoy a character from a fictional show that isn't even about romance in the first place.

anyways, i digress: the truth is that every single one of my friends on here has gotten this person's weird fucking obsessive comments in their inbox and as pathetic as this person is, i will say this directly to them: you treat writers or other blogs like some sort of sad therapy and you're being embarrassing.

i'm embarrassed when i see the cringey, out of touch shit you say. you act like a minor. i genuinely think you are one. you act like someone who has never had a personal relationship, let alone conversation. i don't think you've had an emotional connection ever. you act like a fucking baby who just crawled out of a sewer to see light for the first time in your life. it's so fucking sad. i would never care enough to say i feel bad for you, but i feel bad for anyone who has ever interacted with you, myself included.

it's so astounding to have to say this, but: WRITERS AND BLOGGERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. WE ARE NOT A HOTLINE FOR YOU. here, you’re so stupid you probably didn’t catch that: WE ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING CHILD.

i beg you - i implore you to fucking block me, to block all of my mutuals who you come to whining in their inboxes, because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE what you have to say. pick up a book. talk to a man irl. ask someone how their day is and try to use empathy for once.

anyways, i love every single person on here who takes the time to be kind, or funny, or care. i love all my writers, all of my friends on here, moots or not - sorry to say this but im tired of pretending that i'm nice to childish pathetic cunts. lol

[lovverletters]

Ok so I did send a request idea but im also still thinking about the serial killer guy and im just.

Im so love him so so much and just

Sobbing crying and holding his face gently.

Im so gay. Im such a gay lil man for big scary dude

And I just wanna.... dote on him.

Like ok I mean yes he HAS killed people and all and is kinda super scary

But god my dumb ass with a big heart just seeing him covered in blood and maybe hurt somehow and going like "hey... hey uh... let's get you cleaned up and patched up ok?"

And just being so gentle with him, wiping the blood off and maybe even learning to stitch wounds closed just for him.

Ok so what if maybe he has kidnapped me. He means well I think! Hasn't done anything to hurt me so I mean come on maybe he is lonely and needs some kindness ya know? (Totally not delusional ♡♡♡)

I mean sure it was scary at first and all but like he's a person too right? He's got a heart. He needs some gentle care and love.

Making him a flower crown, putting stickers on his mask and arms, holding his hand gently and just feeling his big palms with my smaller lil hands and treating him with such gentle care.

I am so sappy and gay im sorry

I just love him-

♡Bunny (whos a gay lil idiot♡♡♡)

Yandere! Serial Killer part 2

A/N : this was supposed to come out on Halloween but um things happens💟 hope you like it! Sorry for the ending heh🐰

T/W : blood, mentioned of murder, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome(?), the reader lowkey kinda insane too, yandere themes.

«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[Name] stared at the screen of the television showcasing a random horror movie absentmindedly, not paying much attention to it as their thoughts were occupied.

It was well past midnight and they were still wide awake.

They were unable to sleep due to the loud thundering sounds of the storm outside and decided to watch a movie instead and hopefully fall asleep to it.

It didn't work obviously as they were currently staring blankly at the scene of a man being brutally murdered by an axe-wielding killer in the movie. It was concerning how they barely reacted to the grotesque scene.

They've seen real horrors before.

[Name] has essentially been desensitised of seeing blood and gore. The sight being far too common nowadays after they met him.

Their ears perked up at the sound of a jingling keys and the doorknob twisting open. He's home. [Name] turned their gaze from the movie to the man who's currently standing at their front door.

"You're back and.. bloodied as usual" They greeted him, eyes trailing over his current state.

Lorn was covered in blood from head to toe, both his and his victim's they presumed. Cuts and scratches littered his muscled arms, some look fairly deep ones as it bled. The killer stood still as a statue all the while [Name] inspected him, he knew [Name] will be angry at him for walking around bathed in blood so he remained glued to his spot.

"Found a tough one. Scratched and sliced me once with a knife. That's why m'so bloodied, had to cut their limbs off f'touching me" He explained, staring at [Name] who were grabbing the items they had kept in the supply closet.

If they had not known better, they would've thought he was innocent, incapable of harm as he stared at them through his red horned mask with those adoring eyes. Who would've thought that the infamous Lovelorn killer was a small puppy towards his object of affection.

"Come here, let's get you cleaned and patched up. Wouldn't want you to bleed everywhere, blood is hard to get out of carpet okay?" They motioned him to strip his clothes off and dump it in the basin of clothes to be washed separately.

As they wiped the blood off of Lorn, stitched and wrapped him up in bandages they were overcome by a realisation. Something feels off about themselves. A normal person would've screamed bloody murder and ran to the police but here they are pampering a serial killer who they are living with.

'I might be insane myself' they thought to themselves, chuckling humourlessly.

It had been months since they were locked inside this house with only Lorn as a company. They were protesting at first, demanding to be freed but even then deep down they didn't really care. [Name] only did it because it's what they thought a sane person would do.

Maybe they and Lorn aren't that different.

[Name] snapped out of their thoughts when a rough hand were placed on their jaw, the touch so gentle they barely feel it.

"What's wrong?" Lorn was looking at them with those eyes again.

They shook their head and smiled, continuing their work of stitching up closed a cut on his arm. After they were done, Lorn stood up and englufed them in a hug, their sizes difference were apparent as he towers over them with his muscular built.

"Thank you. I love you so much, [Name]" He said, burying his face on their hair.

They pat his back and suddenly a thought crept up in their mind. They bit their lip as they contemplate on wether to ask him or not.

Fuck it.

"Hey, Lorn?" He hummed in reply, too busy mooching off their warmth.

"Why don't I join you the next time you went out for a kill?"

«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[formerheroeswhoquittoolate]

as we all probably know at this point I am extremely normal both about siblings and about the summers family and this post will be no exception! and I wanna talk about the x-men. (and also death. sorry in advance.)

so. at the 2022 hellfire gala, krakoa voted to put alex summers on the x-men. actually, technically, forge said he would only join if alex joined too, presumably to piss scott off. scott doesn't want alex on the x-men! which. is fair.

because the last time alex got put on a krakoan team, it was the hellions. and it went. badly. he -- or the demons in his head (which, by the way, no one has revisited and it's driving me crazy) -- literally blew up an entire building and completely tanked kwannon's chances of ever seeing her daughter again. he had become friends with kwannon. and he lost control and it all went to shit.

and I was so excited to see him on the x-men? because. he's got demons in his head. he's definitely pretty fucked up. and his relationship with scott isn't much better. especially because scott is an overprotective big brother and alex is pissed at basically all of krakoa for not resurrecting madelyne pryor, but especially scott, because he feels like scott didn't push for madelyne's resurrection because he didn't want it. also, alex is less sure about krakoa than scott is. he doesn't have that same faith. and he wasn't included in the grey/summers family Kick The Shit Out Of Stryfe fest that happened earlier. and, perhaps most importantly: they don't trust each other. scott doesn't trust that alex is stable and can handle himself. and alex doesn't trust that scott can be objective when it comes to the people he cares about.

but also. the last time alex and scott were on a team together? yeah. alex sacrificed himself to save scott. he pushed his powers past their limits and just... faded from existence. no wonder scott doesn't want alex on the x-men again. you can't protect your brother if he's going to dissolve from existence trying to protect you, now can you?

and alex is all too aware of how human scott is. for a really long time, he and emma were the only ones who knew the truth about how scott had died in death of x -- not killed in a fight by black bolt, but succumbing to m-pox quietly on muir island days earlier. and even when young scott tells the others about emma's deception, he only knows what magneto did. that scott was dead, and emma was pretending to be him. havok is the only one who emma is honest with about how scott died. not fighting, not as a hero, but sick and suffocating.

of course they can't handle being on an x-men team together. not now. every time they've reunited since avx has ended with one of them dead and the other one being forced to bear witness to it. what are they going to do, talk about it? the last time they had a real conversation was before scott died. they're incapable of actually talking about it. the closest they get is just a plot device to punch through the system containing the children of the vault, anyway.

they're brothers. they'll always be brothers. alex protected emma from medusa. for scott. and scott put psylocke on the hellions. for alex. but it's also hard for them to coexist like this. krakoa is security, safety, everything scott has ever dreamed of. and alex sees it as something else entirely -- after all, one of the first things krakoa did was tell him he was fucked up and put him under the supervision of the man who had experimented on him and scott and eventually separated them. scott and alex haven't agreed on much, but something like this is big. it's what scott has always wanted, and it's hostile to alex. and oh, doesn't that hurt. one brother's paradise is another brother's hell.

at least before krakoa, they were in hell together.

[moodymisty]

The fungus. The fungus! THE FUNGUS! THE F- but in all honesty, your honor, my wubby little blorbo shit man is so cute and those headcanons are on point.

Now, indulge my brain rot for just a second. Just imagine the other primarchs finding out that Mortarion had not only found a partner, but that they’re completely normal-looking and super kind. They’re pleasant smelling, friendly, talkative; everything Mortarion is not. I also like to imagine his partner talking about him like he’s a stray cat they picked up off the side of the road. Like,

“Yeah, he has his moments. Sometimes he can be a little cranky but I still love him. Sure he tried to kill Gulliman, but that’s just how he shows love!”

“Oh no I can’t wash that sweater. If I do Mortarion will freak out! He sleeps on that thing every night. Now, I have to go. If I’m not in his chambers at exactly 5 pm he’ll get lonely and cry so hard he’ll throw up”

Jesus christ that last sentence nearly made me piss myself laughing. Mortarion in a nutshell. The man is incapable of expressing himself in any productive way, so to have a beloved that is like, normal? Insane. No one thought Mortarion had any pull. Hell, they thought he had negative pull.

Also. I'm sorry but I got inspired by this so I hope you don't mind a drabble. No warnings apart from it being very rough and I only revised it once. 'She' is used once, but I can change it if you want.

Sanguinius walks into the massive room and makes a line right for the desk, of which Guilliman sits behind. He takes one glance upward at him, and notices the way he seems to be holding back a smile, and his wings are almost twitching. His eyes return to the parchment underneath his pen.

"I am busy. It better be quite important." Sanguinius tilts his head slightly to the side.

"You are always busy. But I can assure you that you'll want to hear this."

Eyes cast upwards at him, Guilliman looks at him with a furrowed brow. It would be quite odd for urgent news to be delivered with such a positive disposition, so he wonders what Sanguinius could possibly need to say. He waits on less so bated breath, and more so slight irritation.

"Mortarion has returned to Terra," Guilliman glances upward, and for a second Sanguinius sees the unfettered rage of a man on his wits end flash through his eyes.

"That is not urgent news." The angel has more words on his lips as he smirks and gently waves his hand. "I know, but let me finish." Guilliman puts the tip of his pen to parchment and continues writing while he waits for him to finish.

"And he has brought his lover with him."

The Primarch of the Ultramarines almost has to ask Sanguinius to repeat himself, even though he knows he hear it correctly. He pulls the tip of his pen lest it begin to drop too much ink, setting it into the well and looking up fully.

"Mortarion is courting someone?"

He would've been less surprised if it had been Ferrus.

Sanguinius' smile cracks through his withheld expression just a bit more. Guilliman wonders if he fought for the honor of surprising him with this news.

"Believe me, we were just as surprised. But she's here in the palace now. I believe Fulgrim got to her first. He seemed completely distraught afterwards, so I wanted to go take a look for myself."

Guilliman hears in his tone that there's an invitation to join him on his lips. And while Roboute knows that he has work to do, as he always does, he can't say this isn't a tempting offer. After only a moment of internal deliberation he sighs, and rises from his seat.

"Very well. I can't say I'm not curious."

The two of them walk side by side down the myriad of halls that only make up a tiny section of the palace, Sanguinius leading. He seems to have an idea as to where Mortarion and his supposed lover is. Guilliman doesn't quite know why he hesitates to fully believe this is even true. He doubts Sanguinius would ever lie but,

Mortarion?

While it takes a bit of searching, eventually the Primarch of the Death Guard is found, and his lover with him. Him and Sanguinius stay back, intent to watch the scene for a moment. And even though the two of them are silent, if anyone had been close they might've been able to hear the two of them thinking.

You seem, normal.

Guilliman thinks you wouldn't look out of place in a shopping district on Macragge. You wear the regalia of your Primarch's legion as decoration on your clothing, fabric a pallid purple, but nothing else seems out of place.

But unlike Mortarion who stands behind you sulking, you are all smiles- speaking to Vulkan with what seems like pleasant conversation. Where Mortarion seems unkempt, cast in a sour, near depressive moue, you seem nothing but clean and polite. Your smile is warm, as you compliment Vulkan about something as simple as the unique embellishments of his legion's armor, and Vulkan takes it with a signature humbleness. Though if he had to guess, Vulkan was also quite surprised that Mortarion's choice in lover has proven so, unlike him.

Guilliman watches, and when he looks to his right, he sees Sanguinius watching his expression closely. Guilliman looks back to the scene ahead of him.

"Hmm. Odd."

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[sewersewersewercouch]

A macro post for a Micro-phone!

To those of you I’ve been threatening with this post for god knows how long–yes, I’m finally doing it. I’m writing the goddamn Microphone meta, because I have SO MANY THOUGHTS on this silly little sentient microphone. (She’s not even my favorite character, she’s my second favorite. My favorite is Cabby, but Cabby makes me go into such a feral state that I can barely form words about her other than writing copious amounts of fanfiction. I digress.) Before I get into it, though, I have some general “please be normal on my post” housekeeping I want to start with.

Firstly, this post is about Microphone. Specifically, about Microphone and the themes of choice and morality as they appear in her arc. This post is NOT meant to comment on the morality or choices of any other character. Specifically, by the nature of Mic’s story in the majority of the show, Taco will probably come up a lot because she’s there for a lot of it, but in a weird way, a lot of this post is kind of about how Mic’s arc doesn’t revolve around Taco as much as it’s often believed to? I don’t know, hopefully it’ll make more sense when you read it, but whatever, this post is not about my views on Taco.

To add on–THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT SHIPPING. I don’t want to hear about how much you like or dislike XYZ ship in the comments or reblogs of this post. Make your own damn post. If you want to know how I feel about a certain ship, you can always feel free to ask, just…like, not here. 

Also, I will admit, part of the reason I started making this post is because there were certain interpretations of Microphone in this fandom that bothered me, but I don’t want that to be the vibe of this post as a whole. I do the “I’m always right about this character and nobody else gets them” bit as much as the next guy, but when it extends beyond being a bit, that’s when you start to be kind of an asshole who refuses to so much as listen to views different from their own. I don’t want to be that. I know I’m not incapable of being wrong, and I also know there’s a lot of this that’s subjective, because it’s a fictional story written by people whose minds I cannot read. I don’t want to make this post to hate on others’ opinions, I want to make this post to love Mic! We are all love Mic!

Lastly, I started drafting (read: rotating in my brain and vaguely mentioning it to friends) this post pre-II16, and as I’m writing this now I’m just after act 1. So this may have spoilers for act 1, but also some of this I came up with before that even existed and had to kind of adjust in order to account for that. Obviously Mic wasn’t in there much, but there are a few small adjustments so I will say here there be spoilers. I also have so much ADHD (so does Mic, but that’s a different meta that I mayhaps will write if this goes over well) and I am allergic to being concise or staying on topic. The title does not fuck around, it really is quite a macro post. Sorry in advance.

That said, it’s Microphone time!

Ok so there are a couple quotes from a Brian livestream that I really appreciated because they kinda summed up the general thesis statement of this post, if you will? So I’m gonna put those here and then refer back to them as needed:

“What I find most interesting is how you would think when [Taco] comes back in season 2, and she’s like, ‘oh, I’m gonna make a deal with Microphone’, that she is going to manipulate Microphone, she is going to be the one in control, the one in power, the one, you know, leading the more ignorant and innocent Microphone, but Microphone at a point is like, ‘I’m done,’ and cuts Taco off.”

“I think Microphone was completely justified to leave [Taco] in Hatching the Plan. Perhaps would have even been justified to do so sooner than that. But, you know, it’s really up to what she wants and what she’s comfortable with, and she set a boundary, and we stan.”

“I really enjoyed the subversion of expectation with [Microphone], that she was not a victim, played an active role, and when a line was crossed, she was like, ‘I’m done, I’m out.’ And you really gotta respect the integrity of that, I certainly do.”

Okay, remember those? Good. We’re going to get back to them in a while, because we’re going through this shit episode by episode.

So, for the first…quite a while, actually, Mic doesn’t really do a whole lot. Like, we see that she’s generally pretty friendly but with a rather short temper, and her main schtick is that 1) she’s loud, 2) this causes her to screw challenges up, and 3) this in term makes most of her team not like her and behave quite rudely towards her. That’s kinda all we got. 

Oh, and she seems to be being stalked by some kind of mysterious entity, but whatever, that’s a later problem.

One of the earlier on scenes I’d like to draw your attention to is in Theft and Battery, where Cheesy walks up to Mic and, apropos of nothing, says, “Mic! I've just experienced the most horrible thing! It was a monstrosity! Your personality! Get it? Because everyone thinks you're annoying!” Which, like, I know I said I wasn’t commenting on the morality of other characters, but I will take this moment to say, fucking asshole. I don’t usually dislike Cheesy but I would have decked him for this one. Mic went so easy on him.

But I digress (I do that a lot! You’re going to find that out over the course of this post!) We see Mic blow up like she usually does at comments like this, but before that, we see inside her head for a second—she imagines being surrounded by Cheesys, all laughing at her expense.

This is the first time we truly see how much all those remarks from her teammates actually affect her. It’s not just a split-second flash of anger—all those things are really, truly, hurting her.

In the next episode, Rain On Your Charade, we see the first time she has an actually good interaction with another Grand Slam, this being Soap. Mic and Soap seem to bounce off each other pretty well—Mic’s impulsivity is a good counter for Soap’s much more rigid way of thinking. They give each other advice on their respective problems and comfort one another. For once in her life (literally in her life thus far, given you-know-what!) we can see Mic having a healthy interaction where she is clearly valued and supportive. Someone who encourages her to listen to her heart—as we see, this is gonna be a theme.

So, of course, it’s just Mic’s luck that Soap gets immediately eliminated.

And now Mic is stuck alone on a team that hates her—that makes disparaging remarks about her every move, and that is doing an absolute number on her mental health. She refers to herself, in her own diary, as annoying, harmful, random, useless, insignificant, a loser. And now she has absolutely nobody in her corner.

Enter Taco, with a cup of tea and a deal to make. 

Okay, the first thing I want to address is the way that Microphone reacts to seeing Taco. Well, I mean, first, she reacts with, “AAAAAA,” as I’m sure many of us would if a British woman jumped out of a bush at us. But after she’s done doing that, she says, “What are you doing here, Taco?” And it makes me sound really silly to say “how’d she know her name?” because, uh, duh, genius, it’s an object show, she’s a taco, but like…you get what I mean, right? She addresses Taco like she knows who she is. Which makes me wonder, did she see season 1? (Did she even exist when season 1 would have been airing?) But she can’t have done, or she would have heard about all the Pickle stuff. The most likely option in my opinion would be that she heard the season 1 contestants talking about it, I guess? But either way, she seems to know that Taco has done bad things in the past, and instinctively doesn’t trust her. (I mean, also she has been actively stalking her, which maybe doesn’t help. Whatever.)

I don’t have too much to say about the rest of this interaction—Taco offers to guide Microphone through the game in exchange for a fifty percent cut of her winnings, Microphone declines, Taco tells her to think about it.

Next episode—Mazed and Confused! As usual, the Grand Slams immediately ditch Mic, and she winds up getting kinda pulled into the Bright Lights group. And there’s some interesting Mic dialogue—featuring the II-typical move of characters not discussing their issues outright but rather showing them via thinly veiled projection. And I will fully admit that I love this. Every time I see it I go nuts for it. Firstly, Marshmallow is talking about Apple using her, to which Mic says, “Maybe it's not so bad if someone uses you, if- if it benefits you as well, right?” Then she has this interaction with Fan:

Fan: B-but in that song, the vocalist lovingly chronicles how they couldn't deal with themselves until they gain the companion they need! It's pure poetry!

Microphone: So, everything he does is decided by someone else? Nice message…

Fan: Well, Microphone, what gives you the right to have an "interpretation"? When's the last time you gained something of value from true art such as this?

Microphone: Ugh... certain people always tell me I have so much to gain.

So, obviously, “certain people” is Taco, and we can see how conflicted Microphone is about the whole situation. On the one hand, she doesn’t like the idea of blindly following someone else’s directions without making any of her own decisions, but also, even if she’s concerned that she’s being used, she does see how it could benefit her. (Also, this is far from the last time we’re going to see Microphone flimsily attempting to justify something going on with her.)

Well, apparently she comes to a decision, because she runs off to get help from Taco. With Taco’s guidance, Mic makes it through the maze, and Baseball even compliments her. We see a clear example of how she could potentially benefit from this partnership. (Well, until she accidentally gives away the position of the exit to Test Tube, but I digress.)

As we get into “Kick the Bucket,” it seems like Mic’s pretty all-in on working with Taco. However, right off the bat, we see a moment where Mic outright gives Taco a hard no on one of her directions, that being, using her temporary paralyzer. (Side note: it absolutely cracks me up how she goes “you don’t do that!” like she’s telling off a small child for stealing candy or something. Never change, Mic.)

We see a couple of things here—one, that Microphone has no reservations of telling Taco she won’t do something where she crosses a certain line. And secondly, with some other evidence, we can figure out where that line is. She refuses to use the temporary paralyzer, she freaks out about Lightbulb and Test Tube being sent back in time, she stops Taco from letting Knife’s minecart go over a drop, she makes her promise “no violence” before they go on the Shimmers’ ship. 

And yet, look at the scene after this, with Balloon. She purposely tries to get in his head to make him feel anxious and afraid that he’s at risk of being eliminated, and then later makes fun of him to her other teammates in order to cast doubt on him. And she came up with this plan against Taco’s advice—although it does end up impressing Taco, that’s not why she does this, it’s pure Microphone. So it isn’t hurting others that she draws the line—one could clearly argue that her messing with Balloon like that is pretty hurtful. It’s specifically physical violence that bothers her, which is kind of an interesting place to draw the line in a world where dead contestants can be revived, but emotions are forever.

Hell, Mic says it outright in the next episode, Alternate Reality Show–”You say that like we didn’t do our share of permanent damage.” She’s aware what she did was “permanent damage,” and Taco didn’t even tell her to do it, and yet, she did. This is where we first start to see the cognitive dissonance that Mic is dealing with here—she has a strong sense of morals, seeing as she’s giving back the temporary paralyzer explicitly against Taco’s wishes, because “it’s the right thing to do.” And yet, she’s actively making choices that go against that sense, and she doesn’t know how to feel about that.

Next up, we’re looking at Mine Your Own Business, AKA one of Mic’s best episodes. Her and Taco’s plan in this episode is to try to get Knife on their side because he’s seen that they’re working together. This goes…not as planned, starting from the moment they blow their cover by getting into an argument about whether you should say “excuse me” when you sneeze, while invisible behind him. (We didn’t get enough of them as a comedic duo, by the way. They crack me up so bad in this episode.) Anyways, Mic tries valiantly to bring Knife in with a very convincing, “Join us…yeah!” When Taco and Knife inevitably begin arguing, however, Mic says “We just wanna help!” Which…do you? Yeah, okay girl, keep telling yourself that.

There’s also the little scene where Mic is trying to get Taco to open up about why she was reaching for the portal. This is one of the first interactions we see them have that isn’t about the game. Microphone just…genuinely wants to know what was distressing Taco so much. You know, like you might with a friend. And that’s one thing that interests me about this—Microphone thinking of Taco like a friend isn’t something that Taco did on purpose to gain her trust, and in fact, she seems rather resistant to it. It’s entirely Microphone initiating these friendly interactions. (Even though soon after she does imply she doesn’t feel she really knows the real Taco.)

Then we see the bit where Knife is about to go off a cliff, Taco gives a thumbs up, but Mic doesn’t approve and manages to get Knife into their minecart. I touched on this above, but this is another example of Mic’s resistance to physically harming others.

The next time we see this terrific trio, Taco apologizes to Mic for not being open with her, and I kid you not, Mic responds with, “aww, Taco!” (I reiterate: Never change, Mic.) And, even when Knife explains what happened with Pickle, Mic still comes to Taco’s defense. Some of this is because of the fact that Mic is beginning to truly see Taco as a friend, yes, but I think another part of it is that previously mentioned cognitive dissonance. She wants to believe she’s doing the right thing, and not just aiding and abetting someone who hurts others, so of course she’s going to want to defend Taco–because if Taco is a bad person, and she’s purposefully helping her achieve her ends just for the sake of winning a game show, what does that make her?

On to Hatching the Plan! (We’re in the home stretch, I promise!) We see Mic joking about the idea of what happened to Pickle happening to her—”At least, until you inevitably ‘drop me too,’ or whatever.” Clearly, she didn’t take too much stock in Knife’s words, and she’s pretty convinced she’s safe from a similar fate. (Which she is! Because Pickle was being unknowingly strung along, and Mic is willingly helping Taco reach her goal. But that’s a later problem.)

Now we see Knife confronting Microphone and trying to convince her to, “stop, idiot, have some dignity?” To which Mic tells him that she “has a voice” (as Taco, in the background, turns off MePad’s volume), “no one’s shutting [her] down” (as Taco powers MePad off) and she’s “not just being dragged along” (as Taco literally drags MePad along.) And the thing is, obviously there’s the ironic juxtaposition of what Mic is saying and what Taco is doing, but Mic also…isn’t entirely wrong?

Remember those Brian quotes from earlier? Here’s where we start using them!

Because here’s the thing—like he said, you would totally expect Taco to be playing Microphone the entire time, to be the one in power and manipulating her, because that’s what happened to Pickle. But that’s…not what’s happening. Rather, Taco has been pretty upfront about what she expects of Mic and what both of them have to…well, for a lack of a better word, gain. And it’s not like Mic has no choice in this matter! She has repeatedly shown that she is willing to say no to Taco when she crosses a line, and as Brian said, she would be totally justified to have noped out way earlier than she ends up doing. But…she doesn’t. She’s making her choices, and then bending over to justify them, because as I said, Mic has a strong sense of morals and knows there’s something that’s off, but she doesn’t want to admit she knows that and has continued to do what she’s doing.

So anywho. Taco and Mic use MePad’s teleportation to go after Fan and Test Tube on the ship, but not before Mic tries to make Taco promise no violence. Taco does not promise this, and of course, immediately kills Fan and Test Tube upon arriving.

This is where Mic’s cognitive dissonance runneth over, and she makes the executive decision to ditch Taco’s ass and leave the game.

I’m going to put Mic’s whole little speech here, because I really like it and it’s kind of the culmination of all the points I’m making: “I haven't been... listening to my heart. Instead, I've been listening to... this... well... It was a voice in my head! And it would tell me how to... go further. Further than I was willing to go. I heard it so often that I never... I never heard myself. So... what's the point?” And also, “I didn't make the best choices. So now... I'm making my first good one. This is what I want.”

Because that’s kind of the thing, right? Deep down, Microphone always knew cheating and messing with people was wrong. But she was, by choice, not listening to that instinct, because what Taco was promising seemed so attractive. Getting the prize, yes, but she also just fucking wants friends. And when she does well in the game, her teammates want to be friendlier to her. And also, as I said she came to see Taco as a friend, and she didn’t want to lose that either.

But…okay, here’s where I complain about a take I don’t like, and I’m sorry about that. I find it to be an oversimplification that Mic left Taco because “Taco hurt her.” Because, honestly, she didn’t really directly? What drove Mic to leave was seeing Taco hurt other people, and that by proxy, Microphone was…not even a bystander to these things, but kind of an active participant. Morally speaking, she couldn’t sit with that. So she decided that the prize and the recognition weren’t worth it, and boom, she was done.

I don’t really have much to say on the following episodes that are already out, because Mic has  barely in here. But I do have a hot take on what might potentially come next for Mic I’d like to share.

I don’t really…care whether Mic and Taco end up on good terms.

Okay, maybe that’s not the best way to say it—rather, I think there are ways to do either way well, and ways to do either way wrong, and what I care more is about whether Mic’s story is well-written than which direction it actually goes.

Quick disclaimer that I drafted this section pre-II16, and at the point we’re at now, I’m operating under the assumption that the deleted contestants aren’t actually going to be dead forever and we will have Pickle again. (If this turns out not to be the case please don’t make fun of me.)

I’ve seen a lot of discourse around the fandom about whether Microphone and Pickle will forgive Taco, and the first problem comes right there with aggregating them into one MicrophoneandPickle entity. Microphone and Pickle are two different people who had very different relationships with Taco. As I’ve said earlier, the Pickle that Taco knew was entirely a facade, whereas with Mic…well I don’t want to say she was entirely honest about who she was, because I don’t think she’s entirely honest about who she is with herself, so let’s just say as honest as she’s capable of being. Pre-II16, my suspicion was that they were going to split the difference and have one end up on good terms with Taco and the other not. Like, I think in terms of the message that the show is trying to give, this would be a good one—if someone has wronged you and tries to make amends, you can choose to accept that or you can choose to walk away, and neither is a morally wrong choice. Post-The Reality of the Situation, I’m going to say that if this does happen, it’s going to be Mic the former and Pickle the latter, just having seen how Taco’s apology went over with Pickle. And that’s the thing—Pickle had no choice in what happened to him. Mic had agency over her situation, and went along with it in full knowledge of what that entailed. The Taco that Pickle had a relationship doesn’t exist, but in Mic’s case, she does. And most importantly—Pickle’s qualm with Taco is that she hurt him, but Mic’s was her actions towards other people, not Mic herself. If it’s proven that Taco has changed and doesn’t want to hurt others anymore…I think it’s not impossible that Mic could be lenient.

But either way—whether Mic ends on good or bad terms with Taco—what would make it satisfying to me is if it’s not framed about whether Taco “deserves” or “doesn’t deserve” her forgiveness, but rather whether Mic chooses to forgive her. Like Brian said—it’s up to what she wants and what she’s comfortable with. Choice has been such a major theme for Mic, and I think she deserves to have her agency at the forefront.

Anyways, it is literally after two in the morning and I wrote this entire thing in a fit of hyperfocus, god help me. Again, if this does well and anyone wants to see a “why Microphone II has ADHD real and canon” post I will absolutely do that.

[musicalmoritz]

Hm is it even good to like Tsukasa? Or ship him?

Why am I getting so many controversial asks today😭 No hate to you ofc, I just think it’s funny. I’ve talked abt SA/incest, problematic ships, and now I’m about to talk abt the ethics of liking villain characters. I guess I should thank you guys bcuz I did say I liked talking abt more complex subjects…

Yes it is completely fine to like Tsukasa, I’m surprised I even have to say this. People have about a million reasons for liking villain characters, watch any interview of an actor playing an evil role and you’ll see them passionately talk about how fun it is. Tsukasa is not a real person and therefore none of his crimes are real, he hasn’t hurt anybody and he is incapable of ever causing any real harm because he does not exist. A person’s taste in fictional characters should never be used as an indication of their real life morals, the only people who think otherwise are people who actively engage in fandoms and have therefore lost touch of the way normal people consume fictional content (aka people like me but I try to stay grounded in reality)

Personally I love characters that are morally reprehensible. Even with characters that are morally good, I tend to be fascinated by their flaws (ex: Kou and Nene). I like Tsukasa because he causes conflict, which gives the story a plot. If he weren’t there things wouldn’t be as interesting. He’s actually my favorite Yugi twin, he’s very entertaining to read about. I love how he just does shit to mess with people, he’s so creepy (affectionate). Characters that do really bad things are fun to analyze, they help us conceptualize certain behaviors without glorifying any real life perpetrators of those crimes. The majority of the time, there is more to characters than their worst behaviors, and fans may like them for other reasons as well

As for the shipping, no there’s nothing wrong with shipping Tsukasa with other characters. I know the fandom as a whole disagrees with this but those takes lack a lot of nuance. What if people are shipping him with characters he hasn’t hurt??? Or shipping him in AUs where he’s more chill??? Also keep in mind that the rhetoric of “mentally ill people shouldn’t date because they’ll hurt someone” is used to oppress mentally ill individuals irl, particularly people with personality disorders. Everyone is capable of growing and changing if they choose to do so

Even if you think it’s problematic to ship Tsukasa, it’s weird to assume everyone who does so is a terrible person. It’s even weirder to assume that simply liking him makes you a bad person

Idk sorry I’m getting so heated about this, none of this is aimed at you specifically. This is just a really important issue to me, it disturbs me to see so many people conflating fictional killers/abusers to human beings. It is the peak of chronically online behavior and I hope to see it dead in a ditch someday. Unfortunately I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon…

[theroundbartable]

Perhaps this is normal but recently I feel a reoccuring sense of dread whenever I think about the future. Or any of the things in my life really.

This is a vent post. I always feel better after writing out my feelings.

I haven't found a job yet and I'm not sure if becoming a teacher is actually the best thing for me to aspire to be, I left the job I liked and the uni that had the classes I liked because of my fear of missing out and my insecureity of being able to do it by myself. It's not just that but the other stuff I rather not write out explicitly.

I felt like I was getting closer with my friends lately again, but now that the holidays are over and they all were in such a bad mood, I feel selfish for having ignored that so that I could enjoy the one day that I had insisted on planning, and even more so for leaving them after getting home because their bad mood affected me too much. I didn't help out much either because I know it annoys them when I ask what to do and I feel like I'm in the way when I simply do. (Or risk getting yelled at, like on our last Trip)

I was the only one who didn't have a bad day during this trip and yet I feel so exhausted afterwards. I feel like I'm constantly regretting everything I felt or said or did. Like, I'm going way out of my comfort zone and it's still not enough. People were complaining to me about each other and somehow I feel like I'm the one at fault.

I went home to deal with that but then I got a rejection letter from the Job application I filed last week and now I feel worse than insecure. I feel incapable. I feel like I keep making mistakes, like I'm trapping myself in a life I'm not sure is worth chasing after.

I wish I could get away from here. From everyone and everything.

I might just be having a day. But I'm sure that if this is how I feel, then my body is trying to tell me something. The problem is I know there are really good days in between, when I have nothing but fun with my friends, when I don't have to ignore problems to brush over the awkward silence. Where I do feel like I'm good enough. Where I can appreciate that my friends accept me exactly as I am, when they listen to my problems and make me forget my insecurities, when they make me more comfortable in my skin and help me be confident with myself and dare to breach my barriers and overcome my restrictions.

And then I make jokes about things that I like in theory, I do write fluffy romance for a reason. And my humor has developed so I can forget my insecurities about more sexual stuff as well. But I feel like lately, people are taking my jokes too seriously and my willingness to overcome my own limitations as something like a willingness to overcome these ones too.

My doctor advised me to have children against PMS, my father seems irritated that I find everything involving having (or rather making) children revolting, or that I'm not sure about my gender anymore because it seems more fluid than before lately, my gf has plans about having children and getting married and stuff, and I wish, I wish I were less complicated. I wish I could look at tiny children and not feel wary of and sorry for them. I wish I didn't feel like I lose all the bones in my body as soon as people want me to make decisions or to commit to anything.

I wish I could stop regretting how I treated the one person I might have been able to fall for. I wish I could be more confident about job applications or know what went wrong last time.

I wish I didn't have to dread every relationship I have or had or am going to have (platonic or otherwise intended).

I wish I didn't feel so lost.

I'm not empty, I feel everything at once. And right now I feel so overwhelmed and yet so lonely and I really don't know if this is just a me thing. I'm sure it's just a phase but it means something, I'm sure. It always does.

Perhaps it's all too fast for me at the moment. Maybe I need to step back a little. Emotionally that is. There have been a lot of changes recently. With the new uni, the new flat and the need for a new job. Maybe it's too many changes at once.

[twistedminutia]

Are there any ships from Twisted Wonderland you like or dislike?

So, I’ll confess here, I’m not much of a shipper in Twisted Wonderland. I’ve read a couple of ship fics I think are cute, but I’m not very deep into shipping myself. But! I do have some ships I think are cute or don’t go as hard for:

Like

- I think EpelDeuce (also known as AppleJuice) is really cute! I dunno, seeing Deuce help out Epel was really nice, and I think they’d be cute together. Give me delinquents supporting delinquents!

- Jamizul is a ship I like mostly bc I think it’s funny. But I also think Jamil deserves to have a partner who can be as scheming as he can and also gives him freedom to explore himself. Azul and Jamil going traveling together seems like it would be pretty nice for them!

- Silidia, I guess? This one’s not a strong ship for me, but I like the idea of Idia having a massive crush on Silver. Idk if this would work out long-term, they’re very different people with very different lives, but I think they’d make cute first relationships for each other.

-This one’s so unpopular I don’t think it even has a ship name, but Sebek and Jack is cute to me for some reason? I just like the idea of two tsunderes falling for each other. Both of them REFUSE to admit they’re crushing but they’re together all the time. They train together. Do people see my vision???

- RookVil, maybe? I like this one all right. Epel’s got two dads now, and both of them are going to lecture him about his skincare (Rook’s like the cool dad though so Epel can go play in the garden after lunch as long as Vil doesn’t find out).

- RidTrey (is that the name? Idk) is also kind of sweet to me. I’m not super into it, but I like the idea of Riddle being a powerful lawyer whose husband runs a little bakery and always slips sweets into his lunch.

Dislike

- Unfortunately, I really don’t like FloRid. I know a lot of people ship it, and I can see where they’re coming from, but ‘one half of the ship constantly bothers the other half who actively does not like it’ is not a ship dynamic that appeals to me personally. I can read Floyd as having a weird crush on Riddle, but I just can’t read Riddle reciprocating in any way.

- LeoVil is, again, a ship where I can see where people are coming from, but it doesn’t do anything for me because I’m not a personal fan of the dynamic. ‘Couple who argues all the time and probably gets off on being mean to each other’ is just not a dynamic I personally find interesting. But I DO see where people are coming from, I’m just over here like, Godspeed you crazy kids, canon is feeding you today.

- Any ships involving a student and Lilia. Yes, even the adults and Lilia. Sorry, but this man is 600 and has a son, my personal opinion is that is he all but physically incapable of seeing anyone around Silver’s age as anything more than a little baby. (And I kinda headcanon him as aroace anyway, so.)

- In a similar vein, shipping Malleus with any of the Diasomnia boys. Lilia, obviously, that’s his fucking dad, but I also feel like Silver and Sebek are kind of his brothers, in a sense? Silver moreso than Sebek, but I feel like Malleus watching them grow up kinda kills off the romance vibes there.

Also, as a bonus, a couple romance headcanons about some of the characters:

- Epel has a massive, unrealized crush on Leona for a while. He’s just like ‘wow, Leona’s so cool! And beautiful! This is a normal platonic thing I am experiencing!’ Vil recognizes the crush pretty quick and immediately gets pissed off. ‘Out of all the people on campus, you have to admire HIM?’

-Riddle’s never been on a date, and has old-fashioned ideas of romance. Part of this is because his mother expects him to marry into one of several selected families, so he’s never considered dating. Post-overblot, he’s open to the possibility of dating, but also kind of overwhelmed by it.

-Sebek has a bit of a hero-worship crush on Malleus. It’s completely unreciprocated and neither person involved actually realizes it’s a crush. (Lilia knows, but he’s not telling.)