#i am not engaging with youuuuuuuuuuu

[queeresthellhound]

Because polls get the most engagement I’m making a poll lol

(For the sake of this poll: a collector is anyone who *currently has* a collection of things either physically or digitally that they intentionally acquired which can be grouped together)

Please please please please pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase tell me what you collect and optionally why!!!! (This is doubly true if your collection is related to a regulatory/“special” interest!!!!!!! That’s honestly the only reason I’m making this poll, I am begging youuuuuuuuuuu

Neurodivergent related tags are for reach as I know a lot of neurodiverse people are collectors. I do try my best not to clutter those tags, if anyone has an issue with it please tell me and I’ll remove them

[a-bucket-of-trash]

Champagne Bubbles – Kelvin x Female Reader – Parte 1/2?

Prompt: If Kelvin is silly, funny and “clingy” being sober, you can imagine how is being drunk. Idea by @hrefna-the-raven

Tags: Smut.

The fact that two of your boyfriend Kelvin's fellow soldiers had become engaged to each other had been an excellent reason to celebrate with the rest of the troop and their respective partners. And the idea of going somewhere became directly renting the bar for the whole night, open bar for fifty people, with karaoke and smoke machine included.

The drinks passed quickly and a few were quite drunk already in the early hours, and among those who were beginning to suffer from the effects of the alcohol, was Kelvin. Your boyfriend didn't have a very good tolerance for alcohol, so your staying there was almost to make sure that mountain of cuteness wasn't knocked out prematurely.

You laughed along with other ladies, as you watched Kelvin sing at the top of his lungs, microphone in hand, standing on a table, exaggeratedly out of tune with one of his favorite songs, Whitney Houston's “I Will Always Love You”.

“AaaaaAaand I!” He breathed for a second, pointing his finger at you, energetically “Will aaAaalwaaaaysss loveeEee youuUuuUUuuuu babbeeeeEEee”

You laughed like the rest, throwing him a kiss so he wouldn't feel bad, knowing that tomorrow he wouldn't be able to speak after such shouting and you waited for him to finish shouting/screaming/singing, to sit him down for a moment and calm him down a bit.

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY” He half sobbed, hugging you. That song made him stupidly melancholy, especially with a few beers on him.

"Love you too, sweety" You smiled, sitting on his lap and combing his hair "Calm down a bit with the drinks or else I'm going to have to drag you home"

"I'm not sooooo drunk" He looked at you softly, hugging your waist more "A little... kinda... But don't tell anyone" He winked at you playfully "So I can do stupid things without them thinking I'm crazy"

"You're crazy." You laughed, patting his cheek.

"Mhm... for you..." He growled, looking at your mouth, eager "Ufff..."

"Uff nothing, sir" You playfully touched his nose "The party is not for you, you have to stay a lot longer to make your friends happy"

"They're going to be happy anyway, am I here or not..." He purred, caressing your waist "Let's go home... my love..."

“Too bad you want to leave… And I wanted to fool around with you a lot, flirt with you and drive you a little crazy” You tease him.

"Fuck, you know I love those things..." He trembled slightly, getting more horny.

"So... Be a good friend and behave yourself" You stood up.

"Yes honey" He gently patted your butt.

The rest of the party was more fun and alcohol, jokes and laughter. Eventually the game arose that each one had to sing and their respective partners had to try to confuse them or make them forget the lyrics, without saying anything at all, just with gestures. When it was Kelvin's turn, you just stood nearby, watching him, watching him automatically get flustered, just by your mere presence.

You were too close, he could feel the heat of your body attracting him like a mist of pleasure, your delicate perfume raising all his hair, your penetrating eyes looking at him from head to toe, devouring him. Being somewhat drunk and very horny didn't help at all, but seeing you sensually lick your lips made him tremble, while his brain remembered the times your mouth gave him pleasure, with the image of your lips running over his skin bouncing in his mind. They all laughed when they heard his lousy singing was pierced by a mini moan. He had lost.

"It's not fair" Kelvin pretended to get angry "I can't concentrate with my woman making those faces at me"

"We are in the same place, old man" Said another soldier, who had lost with the same technique "We have very weak wills and very beautiful girlfriends"

Mostly everyone had lost, although nothing stopped them from continuing to celebrate.

Between drink and drink, the night kept advancing, and Kelvin approached you, already a little more drunk, acting badly, as if he didn't know you, sitting next to you against the bar counter.

“Miss” He greeted, raising his glass “What is a beauty like you doing in a place like this? The fashion catwalk is not here…”

"Oh" You laughed, playing along, feigning seriousness "Not much, I guess drowning my love sorrows"

"Love sorrows?" He moved closer to you “What kind of brainless could make you suffer? Did that person fall out of a helicopter onto a deserted island and crack his skull in the process?

"Ah..." You laughed for a long time since that had been his case "Maybe... Who knows... But that person has left me here, alone, drinking... It's sooooo sad" You looked at him, seeing him laugh.

"What a dumbass..." He awkwardly rested his elbow on the counter, wriggling free for a moment, spilling some beer on himself "Shit..."

“Drunk man.” You laughed, seeing the stain on his half-open shirt. “I hope your girlfriend doesn't have to do your laundry…”

"Shhhh, I don't have a girlfriend..." He looked at you, thinking "And if I did, I wouldn't let her wash my crap... I'm a gentleman, I wash my clothes"

“Mhm? Oh really?" You smiled since it was quite common for you to wash his clothes with yours.

"Ssshhhh" He pushed you gently "I never ask you to do it, honey"

"I know, I do it because I want to" You got very close, caressing his inner thigh for a long time, your mouth close to his "You know I like to spoil you, love"

“F-fuck” He trembled, feeling your hand.

“My pretty boy” You smiled, your hand cupping gently his bulge “You've been hard for hours, it's going to hurt…”

"I know" He whispered, swallowing hard "But if you keep touching me..."

"I plan to go home soon..." Your fingers scratched his fabric, watching him breathe heavily "But I can't leave you like this..."

You stood up, nodding your head at him, and walked to the bar's bathroom. Kelvin took a moment to get the idea and he hurried to follow you, blushing, while some of his friends yelled at him, shouting and celebrating, knowing that you were going to give him a nice and exciting treatment.

Part 2

[goosegoblin]

webbed site

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

OMG CONGRATS ON THE ENGAGEMENT GIRL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ YOU AND DIAVOLO ARE BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER!!!! but i am curious… you mentioned bronwen liked white gold, right? but her engagement ring this time was regular gold :0 what made diavolo pick it for you?

AAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUU ♥︎♥︎♥︎ and yes that probably did seem odd!!!!! Especially when, in the past engagement fics Bronwen had white gold rings instead of regular gold. It was like this for a few reasons though;

-To go a bit more meta here, I like to try and design the rings in a way that they both represent the f/o giving them while also making something that they would likely buy for me- a.k.a that I would like. Diavolo has a major gold association, from his eye colour to his castle to even his demon form having lots of golden jewellery. So, a more traditional gold engagement ring better matched this, with a black diamond as the accent to match him as well.

-In-story, the marriage thing wasn’t exclusively discussed between Barbatos and Diavolo. In the scenes in that one fic yes, but Bronwen and Diavolo of course had a very serious relationship prior to that- and Bronwen was extremely clear that, to her, dating leads to marriage. That’s the main goal; she wants to find her life partner and marry them. Diavolo, thus, would inquire about what type of ring she would like if he were to propose. Bronwen often discussed how she loved her mother’s rings- which were gold- and thus why Diavolo went with that option.

That’s more backstory though, which I didn’t write about and is in my personal notes lol. (Yes, I have notes on my ships XD I’ve got a whole document full of ship notes)

[ignisgayentia]

wait....... you are eNGAGED?????????????HOLY SHIT FAM WE CAME SO FAR LOOK AT YOU ARI U GROWN UP I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I AM SO HAPPY FOR U i am still the first wife lmao jk i adore u i wish u all the best u made my week oHHHH GOD CONGRATS BABE

PFT HECK YEAH UR THE FIRST WIFE!!!! ily visnja omg we are so grown up idk who i am i still feel like a baby BUT THANK U SO MUCH I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 12.07.17 lb

plain text version here. 

self confidence goals: ragini 😊😊😊

anika’s hiding and snooping game be hella weak. 🙄🙄🙄

god this baagad billa looks 🔥🔥🔥 in black. i can’t even. meri saansein ruk rahi hai yougaiz. 😧😧😧

LMAO SHIVAAY REFUSING TO TAKE THE HINT HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂

lololol the speed jis se anika prakat hui when ragini touched shivaay. 😆😆😆

“kaadha? what’s kaadha?” “this? this green green item is kaadha! drink this, and your health will be TAN TANA TAN TAN TAN TAARA!”

hahahahahaha shivaay’s faceeeeeeee. 😂😂😂

this family is super big on its weird kaadhas. i’m on team ragini. it looks weird and hell no to drinking it, no matter what you say, billu in black. 😒😒😒

pfffffffffft, these two be eye-fucking riiiiiiiiiight in front of her. kuch toh sharam karo. 😶😶😶

ragini makes valiant second attempt. 😌😌😌

success! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

lmaoooooooooo if looks could kill, there’d just be scorch marks on the floor where billu previously stood. 🙃🙃🙃

i’m not falling for this tej-jhanvi nonsense again. tej’s a dirty dog who will never sudharofy. he doesn’t deserve to even be on the same continent as jhanvi. 😑😑😑

“kitne dino baad hum normally baat kar rahe hai!”

yeah it’s so sad when someone trying to set you on fire and that puts a damper on civil conversation. 😕😕😕

ugh this simpering conversation is sooooo boringgggggg. im fwdinggggg. 😣😣😣

yup. fully called it. 🙄🙄🙄

WAZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAA QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEN I MISSSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU LOOKING FIRE AS EVERRRRRRRR 😍😍😍

... someone tell me where REAL bechaaaari svetlana is though. 😐😐😐

time for regularly scheduled Faraq Fight of the hour. 😊😊😊

baaat ka batangad. kaadha diya, zeher nahi. untwist your boxer briefs, billu. 🙄🙄🙄

he’s getting angsty and mad at her for believing that ragini is his fiancee, when that’s exactly what he wanted in the first place. stupidddddd boy. 😑😑😑

he’s thissss close to blurting out the truth. he’s this close to growling “how could you believe i could be remotely interested in anyone else?” 😌😌😌

oh ho, kabab mein omki. 😒😒😒

...yeh dikhaana tha? iske liye achcha khaasa sexy shivika moment kharaab kiya tha? 😠😠😠

ok rudra is the unfittest gym bunny i have ever seen. 10 crunches take it out of him???? son, i haven’t exercised since 2003, and *i* can do 10 crunches. 😕😕😕

also @ acp anda (as @vishwaspur calls her): who the fuckkkkkkk exercises with hair alll khulaaa and flowing around? 😑😑😑

caaaaasual misogyny time. nice to see that bit of rudra’s personality is constant. 😒😒😒

RETURN OF OLD SENSIBLE, SNARKY OMKARA. *CRYING OF HAPPY* 😭😭😭😭😭😭

pfffft, shivaay and his tarafdaari of baby brother. 😆😆😆

i honestly love how much shivaay babies rudra. it’s fucking adorable. 😚😚😚

ugh svetlana, girlllllllllll, you can honestly do SO MUCH BETTER? it painssssss me to see you waste your hotness on terrible tej. 😫😫😫

i just realised that i want svetlana and jhanvi to get together. like, as a couple. two amazing, beautiful queens. haaaaye. imagine the flawless. 😍😍😍 #jhanLana #makeItHappen

oufffffff, can this scene enddddddddd already? 😑😑😑

oh boy. what plan? will they steal jhanvi’s face next and put her in the freezer dabba? 😟😟😟

sarcasm singh oberoi needs to shut it. 😒😒😒

omkara is me. i am omkara. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

oh god are they going to sabotage his gym equipment? IT COULD KILL HIM, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! 😧😧😧

of course pedantic singh oberoi has to sit and read the user manual. 😑😑😑

i relate with omki’s frustration level sooooo much rn. 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

why are pinky/shakti on the DBO set of OM? 🤔🤔🤔

TAMEEZ AND DISCIPLINE? WHAT IS THIS, GURUKUL OF MOHABBATEIN? 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooop, shaktiji calling pinky out on the reallll issue. 🙊🙊🙊

oh dang. shaant shaktiji is shaaant no more. 😬😬😬

pffffffft, bhains ke aage been kyun baja rahe ho shaktiji? go do some pooja-paath instead. 😕😕😕

but yeah, this is the slow start to the pinky ka redemption track, methinks. she’ll continue with her ragini wala plan for a while, but then she’ll do something that’ll be her “ek kadam” and the family will forgive her and accept her. whatever. i don’t even care anymore. i just need her to stop being so nasty so i can stop hating her. it’s exhausting. 😖😖😖

“ab toh aaj yeh machine rahegi, ya main rahoonga!”

famous last words. 🤐🤐🤐

📰📰📰 tomorrow’s headlines 📰📰📰: oberoi scion (no, not the hot and short rude one. or the one with the hair. the other one.) killed due to stupidity. absolutely no one surprised. we’re amazed he made it this far. 

eeeeeee callback to “haath chod” moment of yore! omkiiiiiii. alavoooooo. *pulls his cheeks* 😘😘😘

i need the mom of a hot guy to throw her son at me, the way pinky is throwing shivaay at ragini. 😌😌😌 #suchSexPositive #muchProgressive #Wow 

ragini’s amazing faces of the day: 

how the fuck is dadi expecting this whole fucking taj mahal sized mansion to be painted IN ONE DAY?????????? 🤔🤔🤔

awwwww bulbul and her adorable baby cheenkein. 😊😊😊

pft. what a contrived issue. and these idiots are sooooooo useless. 😒😒😒

literally just some pics of shivika being attractively annoyed/annoying: 

this is suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a stupidddddd “problem”, lord. literally just watching for shivika and om’s hella beautiful faces. 😒😒😒

wow. gale force winds blowing inside the room at romantic scene. amaze. 😐😐😐

so... gender reversed fairy lights scene from IPKKND/DBO then. but with... gym equipment. sure. 🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽

it’s amazing how little fucks i give about these two as a couple. i’m literally more invested in prinkveer. 😕😕😕

OH MY GOD WHY WON’T THIS SCENE ENDDDDDDDDDD????????? FWD FWD FWD FWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. can’t believe i’m having to sacrifice on bulbul screentime/rikara romance for this BS. 😒😒😒

there. there’s the beginning to pinky’s redemption. she’s going to try and expose him for jhanvi’s sake. but it’s gonna backfire and he’ll expose the truth about shivaay to fuck her over. oyyyy vey. 😬😬😬

these threeeee fucking idiots. don’t they have their own love/sex lives which are in shambles to attend to? khade ho kar vicariously getting kicks from the most thanda “love story” in the history of the world. 😒😒😒

greattttttt. back to square one. 😑😑😑

shivaay: “tum log ladne ke bahaane ko dhoond kyun rahe ho? come on, be nice to her, she helped you out.”

oh my god. OH MY GOD. irony just died a thousand fucking deaths right now. *lays flowers at its grave* 😧😧😧

ragini: comes to talk to shivaay.  shivaay: literally ignores her to turn to anika and randomly ask her what SHE’S up to. 😂😂😂

ohhhhhhhhh shivaaaay. why you even started this whole stupid engagement drama when you don’t even have the mettle to act on it for 10 minutes is beyond me. 🙄🙄🙄

oh nooo, ragini ki choppppp. 😋😋😋

pinky’s gonna do it. she’s gonna blurt it out. 😗😗😗

yuppppppppp. she’s... 

oh no, shaktiji is putting addddchan. and misunderstanding her intentions. 😐😐😐

I FULLY NEED JHANVI TO GONE GIRL TEJ’S ASS. LIKE YESTERDAY. PLEASE GOD. HE DESERVES TO BE STABBED IN THE FACE, THIS LYING SNAKE. 😡😡😡

ok, when someone is going to SUCH lengths to prove their story, it’s shady af. 🙄🙄🙄

yes pinky, please use your tedhaaa dimaag for productive things like these. leave your son alone for like a day, so he can get laid already.  😑😑😑

LMAOOOOOOOO WHY IS ANIKA SO SMUGLYYYYY SWAYING WHILE SHIVAAY LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE? 😂😂😂😂😂

GENDA CHAAP DANT MANJAN. lolololol. 😆😆😆

produced by same company as chamko detergent??? 😁😁😁

of course he doesn’t know what manjan is. #burgerBachcha 🙄🙄🙄

GOD SHE’S SO STINKING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ONE PERSON TO BE THIS CUTE? IT SHOULD BE BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! THE LEVELS OF CUTE IN HER BLOOD ARE TOO HIGH!!!!!!!!!!! 😧😧😧😧😧😧😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 

“shivaay, aap na meri baat kabhi nahi samjhenge.” “main toh tumhe hi nahi samajh paaya, anika. tumhaari baaton ko kya samjhunga.”

ooooop. things suddenly serious. though, is he talking still labouring under the misunderstanding, or does he Know™ about what she did? 🤔🤔🤔

“story kahin se kahin bhi pohunch jaaye, lekin yeh dono har do minute kisi na kisi pillar ke peeche hi milenge.” “ya phir RK pose mein!” 

lmaoooooooooo 😂😂😂

anika be like bitch i don’t have time for this passive aggressive emotional garbage. ANIKA OUT!!!!!!!!!! 😒😒😒

lololol om’s shiftyyyyyyyyy look. GODDDDD MAN, WHAT EVEN IS YOUR FACEEEEEEEEE I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU 😍😍😍😍😍😍

hahaha khanna be hardcore shivika shipper from literally day 1. shivaay have dinner with some other ho? NOT ON HIS WATCH! ❌❌❌

pft such contrivedddddddd excuses. and these idiots are falling for it too. 🙄🙄🙄

how nice and convenient that there’s such strategic mood lighting that makes their skin look perfect and glowy. 😌😌😌

THIS ISN’T THE FUCKING STOREROOM. THIS IS THAT... ok idk what to call it, but it’s that random performance hall type space in their house. 😐😐😐 

waaah lighting got even more romantic. and there’s dinner too! 😇😇😇

me: waaay more excited about the food >>> the man. 😊😊😊

ooooooooooh. things getting serious. and angstyyyyyyyyyy. 😌😌😌

lmao what the fuck even is this tent nonsense? WHY WOULD YOU SET UP A TENT IN WHAT LOOKS LIKE A FULL-ON FUCKING STORM? HOW LONG IS OM PLANNING TO STAND THERE HOLDING ON TO THE DAMN THING????????? 😕😕😕

JUST GET IN THERE AND CUDDLE WITH HER, BOO. 🙃🙃🙃😚😚😚😉😉😉