#i am not inocent of the slow distancing from someone before

[ashanbones]

there's not quite a pain like slowly fading to the background when going silent to see if it'd be noticed

i have been the one to reach out first so much because i know for so many, i'd just be left to be no more than a memory if i stopped trying.

this is why ive been the one to leave first in the past

why i struggle to connect to new beings

why i cant talk about myself, be my actual self, because what if this pushes others away?

[gio-is-writing]

May I request headcanons on how Rohan would treat not necessarily a s/o, but a female friend he has a crush on, who is having herself a tough time with anxiety disorder? Like she comes over to check on him with his work and goes to make tea but he goes to find her shaking and tearing up in his kitchen. You can ignore this is if makes you uncomfortable to write. I’m having a rough time lately so figured I’d ask something like this but it’s no biggie. Have a good day! ❤️

REQUEST: May I request headcanons on how Rohan would treat not necessarily a s/o, but a female friend he has a crush on, who is having herself a tough time with anxiety disorder? Like she comes over to check on him with his work and goes to make tea but he goes to find her shaking and tearing up in his kitchen. You can ignore this is if makes you uncomfortable to write. I’m having a rough time lately so figured I’d ask something like this but it’s no biggie. Have a good day! ❤️

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time and if you need someone don’t hesitate to contact me🥺 I tried my best and I hope you like it❤️ have a good day bby

Pairing: Kishibe Rohan x fem! Reader

Warning: anxiety attack, caring rohan

ROHAN HELPING HIS CRUSH THROUGH A ANXIETY ATTACK

Rohan and (Y/N) were close friends

She was one of the only persons that Rohan actually liked rather than just put up with

(Y/N) came over almost daily to check up on him and keep him company

Rohan really liked having her around and sometimes even sketch her out of nowhere

but that also meant that he noticed the little details

ever since he and Koichi met with Reimi and told everyone about Kira, (Y/N) seemed to be on edge

there were subtle changes on her normal behaviour, it was like something was constantly bothering her

Rohan knew everyone was still searching and doing what they could to find the murderer

something about her though was just oddly different

but Rohan swore to never use Heaven’s Door on her without consent

not since the first time he did and recieved the hardest slap since Josuke’s wrath

but he also wasn’t the asking and caring type either so this meant he stuck to just observing

sometimes he simply got too obsorbed in his work and forgot about it

so when (Y/N) visited like she always did, he paid no mind and continued on

he did hear when she said “I’ll make some tea, be right back” and left

then again, it wasn’t something out of the ordinary until what usually took 5 minutes turned into a almost 20 minute wait

Rohan got up from his desk and walked out of his office, walking down the stairs he heard some sniffling from the kitchen

he hurried over just to find (Y/N) shaking against a corner of the kitchen, eyes filled with tears

slowly she slided down until she was on the floor holding her crying face

Rohan didn’t know much about this kind of things but he was pretty sure she was having a anxiety attack

he was shocked, what was he supposed to do? walk away like he didn’t hear a thing or walk right in?

his mind was racing but his heart acted before he could think

a second passed and he was kneeling right in front of her trying to pry her hands away from her face

“(Y/N)... what happend? are you okay?”

“I’m scared Rohan” a sob “what if we can’t find Kira? what if he continues to kill inocent people and we can’t stop him?”

everything clicked in Rohan’s head, all the little things he noticed before were making sense now

his expression softened as he closed the distance between them, holding her close to his chest and rubbing circles into her back

“We will find him (Y/N), he won’t get away for long”

He could feel her racing heart against her chest and she leaned against him hugging him back

they stayed like that for what felt like hours and even if they were minutes Rohan kept her in a tight secure embrace

her rapid breathing slowed down and she stopped crying, just relaxing on his arms

“You feeling better?”

“I think I am”

Rohan nodded but didn’t move from their position, he would stay here for as long as she needed.

[iraniq]

Copy

part pne

You are just the next door girl, but you are the only one who is in good terms with the weird neighbor everyone else avoid. He was lonely and grumpy till you met him 5 years ago. And now, his 3 nephews arrived…

The older one was Jared. He looked classy as fuck and his face was constantly expressing “judging you hard”. The middle one was Jay, he looked like he was in his late teenage years, Happy and free of any worries or responsibilities. The younger one was JJ. He was like 6-7, maybe 10. You weren’t good with children’s age, if they were too young. They must’ve arrived late at night, because you don’t remember seeing them yesterday.

You know their names, because… Well you accidentally saw them in his papers, while helping Nemo find his winning lottery ticket - 5 bucks, but still.

You creeped behind the curtain. The three boys walked out of a big black jeep, the little one whines and the big brother took him in his hands, spinning him around. The oldest one said something, maybe, no, definitely not to be this loud, because he let him on the ground, grab his hand and they all walked in.

-        Damn… - the curiousity took the best of you.

You made your coconut coffee, and walked to his house. You ring the bell, Jay opened the door. He smiled brightly when he saw you.

-        Hi! - his flirtatious mood was instantly on.

-        Am… - you tried to look inocent. - I came to see Mr. Nemo.

-        Who are you? - a stern voice came from the distance.

-        I am … His neighbor. It’s Friday, our coconut coffee day. - you shined a huge smile. It definitely worked, because Jay licked his lips and smiled, looking at his older brother.

-        Oh, am I hearing young girl’s voice in here? - the old man walked, teasing.

-        As long as you are willing I am yours! - you didn’t wait for invitation and walked in, handing him the cup.

-        My pretty girl. - he smiled and pet your hair. - Meet my pretty nephews. - he pointed at the boys. - This one is Jared, he is the oldest. Very ambitious and hard working. - he whispered. - That’s Jay, he is the crazy one! - the old man said and laughed when Jay did a silly face. - And the youngest one is JJ. But he is nowhere to be found. - the old man laughed.

-        Find him! - Jared ordered to Jay.

-        He is fine… - he answered, with his gaze locked at you.

-        Now!

-        Fine… Jeez, no need to yell. – he waved at his brother and left.

You and Nemo walked to the porch and sit there, observing the view. Quiet. Jared was there too – in the distance, you could tell. This man gave you the creeps. He was way too… Serious. You could feel his cold stare. Jay was so warm, his smile… His attitude so free…

-        Is Jay an artist?

-        Yes, musician to-be. - Nemo simply answered.

-        Aha.

-        Jared is a business man.

-        I can tell… You know, his behavior.

-        He is amazing young man. Very successful.

-        You know… A personal advice - it’s so wrong to love one more than the others.

-        Oh dear… - he laughed - I love them all the same way. They are just so unique, I can’t love them the same way. I love one and each in a different way, that suits their needs… I just envy them… - he laughed.

-        Just a little… - I laughed - Just a little honey…

-        Just tea, with a little honey! - he quoted and you both laughed.

You already were more regular visitor than usual at the Nemo’s house, but no one objected. JJ was in love with you, you even brought some of your child’s toys and tag along with him in the games.

It has been already 3 weeks since the boys moved in with their uncle, and they had no plans of leaving. You were getting worried he is sick or something, but everything was fine.

You and Jay on the other hand grew closer. He’d call or text you late at night, and you would keep the conversation going till sunrise. After that you started hanging around in the afternoons, as this was his only free time. Apparently Jared had a lot of in mind for him to do. Sometimes the rebel would come to see you when your parents were out of town. He’d climb the porch and sneak through the window. You lied in the bed and talk stars and dreams. He didn’t even touched you, although he look like hell of a player. But he was just a goof ball… A very sexy one, but still…

Next two months things got more intense. You would go through the town together. Talking and laughing. Your parents strictly forbid you of talking to the boys. You said you weren’t, although all the town said the opposite. You kept answering this “gossip” was a lie. They have no idea about the existing of “coconut coffee Friday” with Nemo, at first place. You have no intentions of telling them.

You started arriving earlier in Friday, because of Jay - to have some stolen time alone, when you shared secret kisses. JJ caught you couple of times, but after a  promise to make him home made cinnamon cookies he kept the secret to himself. Jared wasn’t very fond of your friendship. Or at all of the fact you even talked. He was a control freak, demanded everything to be as he ordered. So you keep it strictly personal, it was a difficult task, but bearable, for now. As he wasn’t very out going, and barely spoke to anyone, as they were also scared of him, the option to hear from someone was completely impossible.

By this time you were sitting in the big rocking chair sharing sweet kisses, Jared was helping his uncle with his bath.

-        You taste so sweet! - Jay insisted. You just chuckled.

-        I know! I didn’t spend breakfast storming with chocolates for nothing.

He laughed and kissed you again. His kisses were slow and gentle. All the tender feelings in a person were gathered in the middle member of the Leto family.

-        Chocolate! - JJ appeared, demanding his payment.

-        Don’t be this rude with my girlfriend, little boy! - Jay demanded.

-        She can’t be your girlfriend till Jared allows it. – the child said this so innocent statement, full of the painful truth.

These simple words made you shiver. “Was he really this powerful. This cruel?” You handed him the chocolate.

-        Why are you always sitting in him? - the boy asked.

-        Because he is more comfortable than the chair. - you joked. JJ just smiled and vanished. - What does he meant with this… Permission from Jared?

-        He is preventing him of becoming me. - Jay joked and kissed you, tightening his grip on you.

-        Yeah… But this is… - he got closer and kissed you.

-        Can I enjoy you a little bit more. The old men will be ready soon.

-        They are coming! - JJ rushed to inform you and you stormed out, heading home to make the coffee.

You got back. Coffee for you and Nemo, Jared also received one; he somehow managed to become the power, and demanded stuff to be given to him, even without words. The 2 other boys got hot chocolate. You sat on the porch and talked. Laughing. It was amazing moment till Nemo felt sick, and the boys had to take him inside. You assured JJ it was nothing.

-        Maybe he catched a cold from his morning walks.

The little boy hugged you in despair.

-        It was Jared … - he whispered in shaking voice, as he stepped away he smiled like nothing happened, he put his index finger on his lip and winked, you faked a smile and he walked in.

Next two days it was suspiciously quiet, you didn’t even saw JJ for his morning run… yeah he was too full of energy, and was allowed, by Jared, as he made it clear he is the master of the house, to go out and run around the house before breakfast.

3 more days passed, not a single call from Jay, no text either, no visit … nothing! You decided to march to the house, although your parents were at home, you didn’t care, something was happening in this house, something bad.

-        Yes? – Jared answered the door.

-        Am … is everything … ok?

-        Perfect! – he smiled, although he was indeed very perfect in every way, this man gave you the creeps. He was ugly on the inside.

-        How’s Nemo?

-        Fever! He got a cold. I told him to be careful with his morning walks, as it’s getting colder in the mornings.

You tried to look inside, but he was blocking the view.

-        What about Jay?

-        He isn’t here.

-        Where is he?

-        Not here!

-        I get this … but where exactly?

-        Why so many questions about my brother?

-        Why not answering, are you hiding something?

-        He is out of the town with JJ. The boy was crying all night that his uncle was going to die. They are in Disneyland, or something like this… - he smiled, a fake one, again. You knew this was a lie, JJ hate Disneyland.

-        Oh … well… - you were getting worried, something was off, you had to think this through very carefully!

-        If you are so worried, why not come in? Nemo will feel much better to see you. – he opened the door brightly and welcomed you in. with the corner of your eye you could see he was trying to reach for your hand. Your panic attack hit the clouds, but then you remember a trick Jay had shared with you – “if you can’t win, play it double”, he used this to save himself from Jared’s punishment.

-        You know… - you smiled, cold sweat on your palms. – How about dinner? Nemo loves the view from the terrace. – you could swear his dark aura vanished.

-        Pleasure! 7?

-        8 … I need my parents to go out for the work meeting. – you smiled and hurried back home.

The night grew darker as your fears. There was a knock on the window. As you peeked, you saw Jay. He signaled you to come down.

-        Hurry up… - he dragged you.

-        What’s going on?

-        We have to go, before Jared realizes I am gone.

-        What’s wrong with your brother?

-        He is not my brother! – Jay yelled.

-        Don’t be ridiculous, you look alike…

-        Yeah, so much alike! – he was still dragging you.

-        That’s not what I meant! Jay, stop, explain!

-        No time for this …

You just saw there was blood on his shirt.

-        What happened?

-        Come with me…

You stepped back.

-        No … it’s not what you are thinking about, I got this while I was trying to run away.

-        Run away? From where?

-        Jared!

You gasped, covering your mouth … “It was Jared …”

-        Tell me … - your got tears in your eyes – What the hell is going on? – you yelled.

You both heard loud noise coming from Nemo’s house.

-        Shit! – he dragged you to your father’s car and start it, jumping on the gas pedal.

-        Hey, slowly! I don’t want to die… - you cried.

-        Me neither, that’s why I am taking you away from this monster.

-        What’s going on Jay… JJ mentioned something about your brother …

-        He is not my brother … - he yelled.

-        But you look alike! – you yelled in response.

-        Because we are clones!

The heaviest 5 sec. of silence.

-        What?

-        The old man Nemo was a pervert. He was in love with you … the pedophile. He had some stuff of yours, pictures … “lost stuff”. He cloned himself to be with you. Jared turned to be too … bad. – he stopped to catch his breath – He was too, demanding, to … much of control, ambition … I am too … careless, I am the art, he is the brain, the scary part of it, and JJ … he is per… was prefect. That’s why he killed him first…

-        He did what?

-        He poisoned Nemo… as he saw you had your inner jokes with him. JJ was next, because you played together…. He was torturing me to find out if you and I had some kind of relationship. He is obsessed with you! He demanded he was the First One and that you must be his … he even tried to clone you … but … it didn’t worked... man this is fucked up… - he handed you some small glass bottles. – hold this please, my life depends on this.

-        What …

-        As we are clones, we age to fast, actually, Jared is the first one who lived. We need this, one for every day, otherwise we will age to fast and die in couple of hours.

-        But there are only 3…

-        I couldn’t find more … I am sorry. I promise I’ll help you run away … as much as I can.

-        He killed JJ … - you just realized what he said!

-        And the woman with the dogs … because she yelled at you once … and … he was the one who rat on your father, to be fired!

-        What?

There was a car following you!

-        Oh my God … it’s him.

The car pushed you out of the road.

-        Hold on!

You hit the woods down on a cliff side …

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http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/168851158442/mr-leto-masterlist-updated

http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/169123259737/imagine-30-seconds-to-happiness

http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/169123468932/imagine-30-seconds-to-happiness-ii

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