#i am still here

[hooned]

❝ we are beautiful within mortality. ❞

[middleearthpixie]

Proof of Life

I know I've been absent 'round these parts lately, and it looks as if I've abandoned my fics, but no, I'm not dead nor are said fics abandoned.

I'm in grad school. Finishing up my Master's. Which means I am eye-deep in research for my thesis (seriously, I haven't seen the top of my desk in weeks,) the rough draft of which is due to my advisor no later than March 15th. My own personal deadline is March 8th, so between now and then, I'll be spending every free moment I have working on getting the draft done to send to my advisor as well as finishing up my coursework to graduate in May.

But, I WILL be back and I hope you all remember me and for those who are waiting for me to update, I promise you, I WILL be updating as soon as my schedule eases up. If you've tagged me in anything, please know I'm not ignoring it, I will just have a lot of catching up to do come April.

[always-is-always]

I'm still here....

With the holiday week, I've been at my sister's. It's taking virtually all of my focus, as she's on a long road of recovery from a major surgery a year ago. It's been a bit of a bittersweet holiday. It's hard to witness a loved one's struggle.

I've had very little time to take a look at what's happening here on Tumblr, but wanted to pop in for a minute here.... Happy to wake up to Kookie's practice video this morning, for sure!

Whatever you are doing today, make sure to give your loved ones an extra hug or two. Also, tell them you love them. 💜💜💜

[supakixbabe]

This sounds pathetic but it’s 100% true.

I’m a schizophrenic. It was hereditary — my father had it. I’ve been dealing with this since I was 4.

And for years nobody would accept me for me. The only thing in my life that gives me the acceptance, happiness, and love that I’ve always wanted is pro wrestling.

And I always told people: Pro Wrestling owes me NOTHING, I owe Pro Wrestling EVERYTHING.

So you’ll never hear me get upset about any outcome of a match, storyline, etc. Because as long as I get to see two or more people wrestle in a squared-circle for a championship, retribution, or whatever the case may be? I’m happy.

I am still here because of professional wrestling. After the many attempts. The mental and psychotic breakdowns. The hospitalization’s. The medications.

I. AM. STILL. HERE.

[mrskokushibo]

Hey babes. I wish to direct a huge apology to you all for not being creative recently. Unfortunately, my life is extremely busy atm and writing smut is not on the agenda (maybe due to a lot of exposure to the world of entertainment industry that I currently work in).

Just don't feel the inspiration lately to get aroused by fictional characters. With how I live my life, manga and anime, and especially Jujutsu Kaisen are means of escapism from my reality, an essentially smut-free zone.

I know I will be back to writing. Maybe in a month, maybe in six. But for now, I simply can't do it. Please visit or re-visit my numerous works in my Masterlist here:

For now, I will be reblogging my friends' works, commenting, making an occasional short post or drabble, and ofc answering short Asks and messages. Please, don't forget me as I am still here, and I will be stalking my favourite moots and creators on daily basis 😁❤️

[rb19]

© Dan Istitene F1 Dutch Grand Prix ~ September, 2022

[thereisnoaccount]

[direklaus]

Random Springtrap 

[theharrowing]

WATCHING HAEGEUM IS NOT ENOUGH, I NEED TO RACK IT UP INTO PRETTY, NEAT LITTLE LINES AND SNORT IS STRAIGHT INTO MY BRAIN.

I NEED HAEGEUM TO BECOME CHOPSTICKS AND STAB ITSELF INTO MY EYESOCKET SO THAT IT IS ALL I SEE.

I NEED HAEGEUM TO BECOME THE BATHTUB AND SIMULTANEOUSLY HOLD MY HEAD UNDERWATER, INTO ITSELF, SO I CAN DROWN IN IT.

I NEED YOONGI TO SMOKE ME LIKE THAT CIGARETTE AND THEN FLICK ME INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.

[grnherbs]

hey remember me? 😭

[andfinally2998]

Where am I?! W-what happened...!?

I.. I saw nothing, haha.. right, yeah. It was as if... there was never anything here.

[goldenorder]

I have never moved on from this

[the-baschet]

A glow shines in your eyes,

                Sights I have never seen...

[yanban-san]

Happy New Years, y'all!!

[rainyfestivalsweets]

10/28/23

Random notes and thoughts:

- Slept in til like 10:30

- Got busy with some cleaning. Not the tear everything apart and deep clean like I want to do, but a vacuum, straighten and what the heck can I do to make this better.

- Have my happy Playlist going. After yesterday, I am a little mentally sad.

- I am not sure if I should continue either of those books.

- I am pretty darn sensitive. I literally cannot let a worm lay on a gravel road after a rainstorm, know that it will either get crushed or burned to death.

- I am happy that my meat doesn't come from traditional sources. We buy our cows as a family and they run around in fields and have local, small processing. Does this make anything better? Idk man. 🤷‍♀️ Idk.

- Am I crying? Yes.

- I am working to get myself unstuck again. I feel like things have exploded on me.

- Care giving can be a lot. I spend a lot of time trying to balance workouts, housework, and self-care.

- I often just stuck in things I know I should do: composting, upcycling, repurposing, gardening. All have spectacularly failed.

- Where is this going? Oh yeah. Things have gotten bad again. But. They are better than they were, so "bad" is relative. Now bad is way more manageable although there are some things I need a big push to do.

- My plan: to continue working on things little by little ✨️ Remember that tasks done daily do not allow build up.

[cptnleviackerman]

should i take a couple days break from tumblr because I feel like it's affecting me mentally? perhaps. will i take a break? unlikely