#i am wine drunk so forgive any typos

[sage-nebula]

Look man, I have never "shipped" Dan and Phil, because they are real people, and treating real people like fictional characters has always skeeved me out, personally. Like I know it's done in the tabloids and such, but I never liked that either. And knowing the lengths Dan and Phil had to go to in order to protect their privacy (the second apartment!), and the fact that people trying to out him and Phil took a real toll on Dan's mental health . . . yeah I did / do look badly on people who would harass them in comments on their videos and try to make floor plans of their apartment and like, even on Dan's coming out video where he specifically asked people not to be like "lol we been knew" people STILL commented "lol we been knew" . . .

But.

They built a house together. Like they are not just roomies, they BUILT A HOME TO LIVE IN TOGETHER. The sheer level of that commitment is like. God. Dan said they are "basically soulmates" but like

Listen

Their relationship is their business. 100%. And everyone needs to respect that. Whatever it is, that's for them. But they built a home to live in together. And they've decided to do that after all these years. After their highest highs and lowest lows. After Phil ate glue. After Dan sprayed deodorant in his eyeball.

Are they a couple? I mean, I don't know for sure, but also I don't think it matters. Because they very clearly love each other, however they define that. They have each other to lean on. And I'm crying (in a good way) because that is so beautiful, and life is hard for us queer folks, but they found and have each other despite that and I'm just so happy for them.

Merry gamingmas, and cheers.

[price1972]

TLDR. If I knew how to put this under a cut, I would, but that bit of tumblr magic is beyond my skills. I’m warning you, this is long. I’m trying to catch any typos as I write, but please forgive any I miss.

Traditionally, I am VERY pro-vax. I’m vaxed, both my kids are vaxed and I am not saying one way or the other that a vaccine(s) are the root of my issues. All I’m doing is writing what I personally have experienced. Everyone should get as much info as they can, talk to your doctor if you have one you trust, and do what’s right for you.

Ryan is my husband. I live in northern Harford County, Maryland, about 1 hour North of Baltimore. My alcohol consumption has never been alcoholic level, I’m talking about a glass or two of wine over several hours in a night, maybe a little more if I was at the pool over the course of a day, or a dinner out or something, but not insane levels consumed. I stopped drinking because it stopped tasting good, probably because of what I was starting to go through.

So, back in 2021 I got my 2 Pfizer shots when I was eligible, had no problems. When I was eligible for the first booster shot, I got that too. At the same time as the booster, the pharmacist said, “hey, do you want your flu shot now too?” Since my elderly parents live with us (also vaccinated) and I didn’t want to risk getting them sick, I said sure. Got both at the same time.

3 days later, I woke up and could barely move my legs, my legs felt like they were encased in burning metal and swords being shoved up my heels and my hands also felt like they were on fire and so sensitive to touch, it felt like they were being constantly scrubbed with super rough sandpaper and also had no strength in them, so they were basically worthless. Went to my PCP (Medstar doctors group), they told me to go to the ER, because they didn’t know what was wrong and wouldn’t prescribe me anything for pain other than Tylenol or advil. Went to Upper Chesapeake ER, spent 14 hours in the waiting room to get 2 bags of saline to help with being dehydrated. However, once they found out I had stopped drinking 6 months prior to that (this was December 2021), they basically treated me like I was a drunk and looking for pills and sent me home to follow up with my PCP instead of admitting me and running more tests. I kinda understand, because it was the height of Covid and the ER was packed and they were running the ER out of the waiting room, but the lack of giving even a little bit of a shit about what was wrong with me was pretty disconcerting. There was a 20-ish year old kid who was sitting next to who smoked so much pot over 3 days that he forgot to eat or drink and the staff treated him more courteously than they did me and admitted him while I was still sitting there, waiting to see if they could find a bed for me.

So the next day, I did follow up with my PCP, and they said they’d been researching it more, and thought I might have Guillome-Barre Syndrome, which is a nerve disease where your white blood cells attack your nerves (most usually starts in the hands and feet), and is dangerous to not get treated because it can paralyze your lungs and kill you. They wanted me to go back to the hospital. I refused to go back to UC, so they suggested going to Franklin Square instead and I agreed. They wanted me to go right away, and would “call ahead” so my ER wait wouldn’t be as long. It was only an 8 hour wait there until I got called back and then eventually admitted me after they found me a bed. Ryan couldn’t stay with me because they were being super strict about visiting hours (armed guards in the ER and everything), so that sucked.

That night, the neurologist examined me and said I probably did have GBS and explained the treatment (there are 2, one is a intravenous medicine given over 5 days -IVIG- and the other was a total blood transfusion or something. ) I got the IVIG and everything that would go along with it. Starting the next morning, the doctor in charge of the ER or something (I don’t remember what his title was at this point, but he was a pretentious blowhatd who had at least 6 if not more of his students following him around like ducklings on his rounds every day) examined me and thought the neurologist was wrong and there was nothing majorly wrong with me and I was most likely just looking for pain meds to abuse. Of course he didn’t use those words, but his demeanor and attitude toward me, even when Ryan was also allowed to be there, made it clear what he thought.

So the neurologist won the start of the pissing match between the two of them, and I got all 5 days worth of the IVIG treatment. On the 6th day, I had to get a lumbar puncture to see if I had the GBS protein that they use to diagnose the syndrome. I apparently didn’t have the protein present, but even though the neurologist wanted to keep me there for more testing (because they are seeing GBS a lot more now than they used to, and they don’t know much about it yet; he was arguing that the protein they look for may have mutated into something different, etc, but otherwise I had all the symptoms of GBS. They two of them had the discussion (fight) in front of Ryan and me, with the ER doctor waving my test results in the neurologist’s face and saying “See? I told you there’s nothing wrong with her! She’s morbidly obese (fair, I was 300 lbs at that point, and looked about 15 months pregnant with a 20 lb baby), an alcoholic, looking for pain meds to abuse and the pain is all in her head. Anxiety. I’m discharging her.” And he won that fight, because I was discharged the next day. I still could barely walk and Ryan had to basically lift me up into the car to take me home. They sent a nurse with us to supervise me getting into the car and keep us from stealing the wheelchair I guess, but she didn’t do anything to help at all. Discharge papers said I didn’t have GBS, but a description of GBS and how I was treated for it, a list of vitamins and anxiety medication to get filled and to follow up with my PCP. Oh, and I wasn’t allowed back there to be treated for anything unless I had documented proof that I had completed a 30 day inpatient rehab program for alcohol..even though it had been months since I’d had any alcohol at all.

So I did follow up worth my PCP. Who has been treating me for over a decade or more as needed, knew my drinking was moderate and I’ve never had a history of looking for pain pills. But it was clear that they agreed with the ER doctor about being too fat, an alcoholic and looking for pills. Even though I never asked for oxy or narcotics, I just wanted something to stop the pain. I didn’t care what they gave me, as long as it worked. Never with either hospitals or the PCP was cirrhosis or potential liver failure mentioned or tested for.

So they gave me a laundry list of vitamins and medication, including Gabapentin to try to help with the nerve pain. Had a bad reaction to that one: it made me dizzy, pass out and fall, most of my hair fell out in one large clump, suicidal thoughts. Basically every side effect that could happen did happen, so I stopped taking that one. The anxiety med I was sent home with could be upped from 20 mg (anxiety) to 60 mg for nerve pain, so my PCP did that. This was around April 2022. I was OK at RJ’s (our son, 23) wedding (issues walking, but not needing a walker or wheelchair yet), but soon after that, the new medication caused me to sleep 23/24 hours per day and to hallucinate horribly when I was unconscious. I still remember most of those hallucinations and I feel so bad for people whose brains make them go through that, because it is SO REAL when you’re in the middle of it.

So this went on for the rest of 2022, until Ryan started to wean me off the meds. His reasoning was that I looked like I was dying, couldn’t eat or drink, couldn’t recognize him or Ryleigh, (our daughter, 17) and if I was dying anyway, maybe I would die with enough sense to be able to say goodbye to them and it mean something. I basically “woke up” on December 1, 2022 as if nothing had happened. I didn’t know when it was or what had happened, but could sit up, get in the shower, get dressed, etc with a walker and/or Ryan helping me, use the bathroom instead of a diaper etc. by this point, I couldn’t feel anything in my feet, very little sensation from my ribs down and hands still basically worthless and painful. Also couldn’t write anymore, type or even see very well, even with my glasses on. But better than being comatose or dead.

At this point, I wanted nothing to do with doctors or hospitals, and I told Ryan if he forced me to go, I’d leave AMA because they wouldn’t believe me, and I wasn’t going to go through all that BS again when it did nothing for me the first time. So for most of this year I walked/moved around as much as I could, did light PT exercises with rubber bands and tried any holistic or natural remedy we could find. But I was steadily getting worse.

Until July 20 of this year when I finally crashed. I was really bad, and Ryan begged me to let him call 911 and go to the hospital. I agreed and after a flurry of movement that I don’t remember much of, I had almost 8 liters of fluid taken out of my liver. The ER doc at UC told Ryan that he’d do the best he could to stabilize me, but that I might not survive until the next day. Also that UC wasn’t equipped to treat me and either University of MD or Hopkins would have to accept me for me to have a chance. UM wouldn’t take me because they didn’t take our insurance and Hopkins wasn’t sure if they could free up a bed for me.

Amazingly, after being at UC for 2 days, Hopkins found me a bed and transported me there. After what seemed like every test in the world, miraculously they found me a liver that matched me perfectly (a 23 year old man who died from a drug overdose; I’m allowed to contact his family, but I have to figure out what to say without sounding like a complete bitch) and my transplant values were bad enough to move me up on the transplant list, so instead of going home to wait for the “bat call” as Ryan calls it and potentially wait years for the transplant and hoping to stay alive in the meantime, I miraculously got my new liver after 2 weeks, on August 6.

I won’t go into the boring details of recovery, but from the start, my body seems to be accepting the new liver very well. The GBS has complicated it a lot (even though I hadn’t been drinking much before, and had 0 alcohol since RJ’s wedding more than a year ago, my liver was so bad, they couldn’t even use it for research. I still can’t feel my feet and have nerve pain in my hands, legs and feet and also have optic nerve degeneration from the GBS causing my vision problems. So I might not ever be 100% or be able to drive again, but it’s worth it to be alive. I have pain specialist, neurologist and neuro-ophthalmology appointments with Hopkins doctors, but not until mid-November.

So hopefully the GBS will eventually reverse itself (for most people this happens, but I’m not holding my breath) or there might be medication that would help my nerve pain and eyesight. Very irritating and tedious, but again, so worth it to be alive and able to walk with a walker and get out of the house, which I hadn’t done since RJ’s wedding last April. I’m doing PT/OT through Hopkins to relearn stuff, learn workarounds for stuff I still can’t do and to hopefully get those nerves to wake up and start working the way they’re supposed to. So for the most part, doing well, and aside from some hiccups with the medications (I take 16 pills daily, some multiple times a day); which I’m told is fairly normal, life is good.

It’s funny. A lot of people in the hospital and since have been surprised at how upbeat I typically am, and not overly upset over the issues I still have. And honestly? Surviving nearly dieing at only 51 and getting a second chance to witness the amazing young woman Ryleigh is becoming and getting to eventually (hopefully) have grandchildren to fawn over and love, why wouldn’t I be supremely grateful and happy about surviving? Yeah, there’s stuff that’s annoying, but if it never gets better than this? WORTH IT!

So, there’s the majority of what’s been happening to me over the last 2+ years. I’m sure you’re sorry you asked, lol. I do really appreciate you caring about what happened and all the good thoughts and prayers I must have received for everything to have worked out the way it did. Not that scared of dieing anymore, but hopeful it won’t happen anytime soon. ❤️

Also, my point of bringing up the Covid/flu vaccines is because (anecdotally; no proof yet) the medical community is seeing a sharp increase in nerve related issues in people after being introduced to MRNA vaccines, which the flu shot is now as well. While they’ve known about GBS for awhile, until recently it’s been pretty rare in our population and it’s not a syndrome like MS or Parkinson’s that’s been studied a lot. Best guess from multiple doctors is that it was more the flu shot, but especially getting it at the same time as a Covid booster that caused the GBS to manifest now. I might have always been going to get it, but probably not until much later in life. They still don’t know enough about the nerve related issues or even the vaccines to say for sure. So that’s been fun.

And, I only weigh 165 lbs now. It’s a hell of a way to lose weight, I don’t recommend it. 😂

I am the lucky recipient of one of those 11 livers.

[ererokii]

What Goes Around Comes Around

T. Shouto x Fem! Reader (inspired song fic)

Song: What Goes Around by Justin Timberlake

Warnings: angst, cheating, like one scene of sex (very small scene), characters are 18+

Italics mean flashback

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This is my first fic and my first attempt at writing angst so I’m sorry if this is quite shit and of course it had to be my boy (pls forgive if there are typos). Also big shoutout to @shoutodoki and @shoutosplaything (also thank u for beta reading gabbi) for letting me tag them!

Don’t wanna think about it

Don't wanna talk about it

I’m just so sick about it

I can’t believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it

Feeling the blues about it

I just can’t do it without ya

Can you tell me is this fair?

14 days

It’s been 14 days since the last time you saw Shouto Todoroki. You refused to acknowledge him as the man that you once loved but deep down inside you knew that you still love him. Everyday your thoughts kept haunting you as if it was a song that kept repeating itself without your permission.

Was I good enough?

Did he not love me anymore?

Could I have known before it happened?

Could it have been fixed?

Maybe I wasn’t putting enough effort?

You thought that your relationship was perfect. Like every other couple, you had your ups and downs. To something as silly as leaving the dirty dishes there or something as serious as miscommunication. Regardless, that was the best relationship you’ve been in for a while. Thought Shouto was the one to be. The one you would spend the rest of your life with. You guys were the It Couple. All your friends would always compliment on your relationship. Soulmates. That’s how everyone described your relationship with Shouto. A bond that could never be broken. The universe bringing two people together to forge the most perfect relationship. That’s what everyone used to say.

Tonight, just like every night you stared up at the ceiling refusing to let sleep take over your body as all you saw was Shouto when you closed your eyes. Laying on the couch, you stared up at the ceiling like you were in a trance, unmoving. The blanket lazily hangs off of the couch as you refused to shield your body from the cold. The unfinished dinner stayed on the granite counter in your kitchen, the half-empty wine bottle laid untouched on your low table. How pathetic you thought to yourself as you let out a weak chuckle and sat up slowly, running a hand through your messy hair. A bang like knock to your door startled you, making you turn your head quickly and could have sworn you almost gave yourself whiplash. “Who in the hell..” you mumbled and stood up, wiping your sweaty palms against your shorts as you made your way to the door, stopping in front of it. You let out a deep sigh and fixed your hair quickly to the best of your ability.

“Who is it?”

“Y/N.”

You let out an indescribable noise as you quickly covered your mouth. Why was he here? What does he need? Is he drunk? Millions of questions raced through your mind. Even with the door separating you two, you could still feel his intense gaze burning holes right through it.

“Y/N please open the door. I just want to talk to you and explain things.”

“There is nothing to talk about Todoroki” you snapped and leaned your forehead against the cool wood. He internally cringed whenever you used his last name. It sounded so foreign to him whenever the word escaped your mouth that he honestly forgot what it sounded like.

“Please all I ask of you is to let me explain”

You let out a low groan and unlocked the door quickly, opening it with force that even Shouto was surprised you would agree to face him.

“Explain?! You’re gonna explain how you oh so magically or you tripped and stuck your dick in another girl’s vagina?! Cause if you have an amazing explanation please be my guess and enlighten me.”

“Y/N come on don’t act like that..”

“No! You have no right to tell me how I should be acting! And don’t you fucking dare call me by my name. We aren’t formal anymore” You snapped and felt tears starting to form. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see you cry. Not again.

~~~~

The thought of marrying Shouto has been on your mind for the longest. Being in a relationship for 3 almost 4 years with him was amazing, you were deeply in love with him and you wanted to take the next step.

Recently you noticed a difference in Shouto’s behavior. He lost his loving touch. As time went on you noticed the bridge separating both of you as if it forbade you to meet in the middle once again. It started off small. He would come home later than usual. Yes being a Pro-Hero called for him to be out at unusual times of the night but this didn’t feel right. It wasn’t right.

“Shouto!” You called out from the front of your apartment, slipping on your shoes. “I’m going to be out for a while with Ochako! I shouldn’t be gone too long!”

Silence.

You were met with silence.

A frown formed on your face as you glanced at the man sitting down on the couch, staring down at his phone. ”Shouto?” This time you were met with a grunt. Least it was better than silence. “Did you even listen to what I said?”

“No. What did you say”

Ouch. That hurt.

“I said I was going out. With Ochako” you announced slowly, expecting that he would take notice this time. ”Uh-huh. That's cool.” he mumbled, not looking up from his phone once as a small smile formed on his face. ”Well..okay then I'll see you later then. I love you.”

Once again you were met with silence but this time he lifted his head up to meet your gaze. The look in his eyes looked unrecognized, something you haven't seen since the beginning of your friendship. ”Ok. Stay as long as you want.”

That was some of the red flags you should have taken notice of, but you were so blinded by your love for him that you didn't bring it up.

You told your best friend, Ochako Uraraka about the situation and she simply told you that you were probably overreacting and just needed to speak with the man himself. “Ochako you know he doesn't even acknowledge me anymore. He doesn't say ’I love you’, he's not affectionate anymore and always pushes me away whenever I try to have sex with him. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?”

The brunette girl sitting beside you swirled the red wine in her glass as she stared down at it. ”I really wish I knew the answer for you Y/N-chan. From what it sounds like you just need to sit down and talk with him. It could possibly just be miscommunication.”

”What if he's cheating on me?”

”I'm going to have to stop you right there. Todoroki may be a bit dense at times but he isn't an idiot. If that were the case I would personally go down there and show him that he doesn't mess with the best girl around. In case you didn't notice, you're the best girl.

A weak chuckle escaped your lips as you took the final sip of your wine, relishing the way it went down your throat and left a tangy aftertaste. “Maybe I’ll buy a little something on the way back. Maybe some strawberry milk and soba noodles from his favorite place.”

“I mean you can do or you could just go straight home and talk to him without any bribery.”

A sigh exited your mouth as you placed your now empty glass on her white table. ”I really appreciate that you let me come over”

A smile tugged on her lips as she wrapped her arms around you, hugging you tightly against her smaller frame. “Of course Y/N-Chan! Let me know how it goes after!”

Then that’s how you found yourself in front of your door, reciting a small monologue on how you would approach the man. You opened the door quietly, staying put when you heard the soft creak of the door. “He should be home..” you whispered to yourself as you shut the door behind you once you entered your shared apartment. “All I have to do is approach and speak my mi-“ Black heels? When did you leave black heels here?

You didn’t. The only pair of shoes that were beside the black heels were your white slippers. You felt as if your heart dropped down in the depths of your body. It was a misunderstanding. It had to be.

You began walking towards your room, taking quiet steps despite feeling that your feet were dragging across the floor. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t capable of doing that. Right?

Turning the corner to enter the hallway you stopped your motion and stared. Across the hallway was your closed bedroom door. It felt like a journey that hasn’t even begun. Before taking a single step towards your destination, you heard it.

“S-Shouto!”

That was it. The moan. The noise of skin slapping against skin and the creaking of your once shared bed where it was him making you feel that good. Him touching you in a way that no one else could feel his touch. It used to be you. Only you.

“No no no” you repeated like a mantra and walked over quickly only to stop in front of the door, hand resting about the door knob. You were hesitating, but why? You already had your answer. Was it because you were in denial? You thought this was a dream?

Taking a deep breath you grasped the knob and turned it, pushing the door open quietly.

There it was. The scene you always hoped you would never see. Your now ex-boyfriend, drilling some woman into your mattress. Your presence seemed to be ignored by them.

“Fuck baby you fuck me so good!”

“You’re so fucking tight” Shouto grunted and threw his head back and closed his eyes before opening them again, tensing up on once he spotted you standing right behind him. His hips stilled as his hands let go of the woman’s ass.

You couldn’t believe it and started shaking your head in denial

“Y/N this isn’t what it looks like”

“Oh? What is it then huh? I know I’m not fucking blind. I can see what is going on with my own two eyes.”

He got off the bed quickly and grabbed a spare sheet, placing it on top to cover himself up. “Please Y/N” he whispered. He sounded desperate as he reached to grab your hand while taking a step towards you.

“How long has this been going on.”

“What?”

“How long have you been doing this behind my back.”

“...6 months.”

The past 6 months seemed like a lie now. Every kiss. Every touch. Every ‘I love you’ was nothing but a lie. Now, you remembered all the red flags that were thrown your way but your denial got the best of you. The constant fighting, blowing you off on dates to go hang out at ‘Midoriya’s place’ or even ‘Bakugo’s place’. Coming home late even when he wasn't called for work. It all made sense now.

”Baby we can talk about this”

“No!” You snapped and pointed a shaky finger at him. “Do not beg me. I gave you everything I possibly could. I put in all my time and my energy for this relationship and for you to just..” you trailed off and covered your mouth with your hand, suppressing a sob from fleeing. ”You know...instead for future purposes. If you want out of a relationship j-just tell them. Don't cheat on them from behind. And don’t you dare call me that fucking name again.” You said as confident as you could but in reality it was the opposite of confident. Your voice was wavering, your once perfect mascara was running down your face mixed with your tears.

Shouto gulped and clenched the sheet in his hand. “I still love you Y/N.. we can talk this out please. Just give me a chance.” He whispered and looked directly into your eyes. Broken. Torn. Guilty. The look in his eyes seemed to stare right through your soul.

“If you really loved me, you would have never cheated on me in the first place. You would have come up to me and spoken to me how you felt instead of doing this behind my back… I’m going to leave. When I come back, I want you out of my apartment. Take everything you own and leave.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What goes around, comes around

~~~~

You shut your eyes tightly as the memory and clenched your fists right by your side.

“I was drunk. I went to a bar right when you left to go visit Uraraka.” Shouto said as he took a small step towards you. It felt like the world was suffocating you.

“A bar? That’s your excuse for cheating on me? Drunk for 6 months? Please. I’m not stupid. I know plenty of men that get ‘drunk’ and they don’t cheat on their significant other. I didn’t expect that coming from your mouth. You disappointed me. You let me down. You made me feel like it was my fault.”

“That’s because it’s not!” He suddenly yelled and you flinched slightly at the sudden change of his tone. He let out a deep sigh and kept going forward till he had you caged between him and the wall inside your apartment. “It was all me. I was stupid. I’m sorry for hurting you..I should have just came up to you and spoke to you how I was feeling. I’m sorry.” He whispered and placed his finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him.

You gulped and felt his intense gaze stare through you. His bi-colored hair tickling the top of your forehead. His face was close to yours, you could feel his hot breath hitting your face as he cupped your cheek.

“I’m afraid of losing you..I don’t want to lose you Y/LN” he whispered into your ear, smiling faintly when he saw you shiver. Even like this, he still had the same effect on you and you loathed it. “We can just forgive and forget.. I’ll make it up to you I promise just please forgive me”

You wanted to. You wanted time to go back and give you what you wanted. A meaningful relationship. Being with Shouto was on your mind everyday as if it was mocking you. You desperately wanted to be in his loving arms again, feeling his body on yours. Now that you were caged behind him, a low level panic started to arise in your body. Could you ever forgive him? How could you forget? What makes this different? What if he does it again?

“She cheated on you didn’t she”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said, she cheated on you. Didn’t she?”

His quietness was all you needed as your answer. You shook your head and looked up at him, stroking his scar gently with your thumb.

“And you felt if you came back to me thinking I’ll let you back huh? You think that because she cheated on you it’ll make us relate on a different level and make everything better right? How’d it feel? It felt horrible huh? Like your heart was being ripped into two then stomped on.”

Shouto growled faintly and gripped your shoulders a bit tighter, opening his mouth to say something but you interrupted him.

“No. I’m not done fucking talking. I cried. I cried and cried for your sorry ass. You and I are not feeling the same type of pain. I loved you. She didn’t. I..I still love you” you whispered the last part under your breath

Shouto sucked in air as he tensed up. Time seemed to stop as the earth stilled. No one said anything. You missed the silence with him. Under different circumstances you would have enjoyed it. “You..you still love me?”

“Course I still love you!” You cried out and pushed him off of you, walking towards him as he kept backing up with each step you took. “But I can’t be with you. Part of me wants to forgive you and throw myself at you but the other half is telling me you’ll just do it again.”

“You think I would do it again?”

“I mean you did it the first time. So what would make it different from the next? Todoroki you just.. you need to leave.”

He quickly reached for your hands and cupped them, holding them to his chest. “I can’t lose you Y/N..” he whispered

“You already did.” You said coldly and pulled your hands out of his grasp. “What goes around comes around huh? That’s your karma now. Get out. I never want to see you again. I want the guilt to swallow you alive.”

He stood there unmoving, hands grasping around nothing as he looked up at you. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry. I hope we can start over again soon. I hope you can forgive me.”

You watched as Todoroki walked down the steps and into the dark night. It felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders but the hole in your heart was still wide and open. Closing the door till he was no longer in sight, you let your head fall against the wood, letting out a shaky breath that you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Goodbye Todoroki Shouto.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What Goes Around, Comes Around

[shewritestheblues]

You Know I Love You II

ONE

Erik Killmonger x Reader

Warnings: None 

Part 2/2 - I may or may not do a part III to this. I have some other stuff I wanna write. But thanks so much for reading. excuse any typos. I wrote this while wine drunk. :)

**

Erik has kept his eyes on you. When you went to work, the gym, the grocery store. How do you think he knew when you made it back to your apartment with the flowers? When you found out about his ‘side piece,’ he felt… foolish. He knew he messed up. He knew you weren’t the type to sit around and cry about stuff. You gave yourself maybe an hour after he left that night to cry your eyes out and you pulled yourself together. You didn’t chase people. You spent a bulk of your existence doing that and that’s not who you were anymore. You would move on because that’s what life did. Time kept going regardless and you vowed to do the same.

You were sitting at your favorite table at your favorite coffee shop. You had your headphones in, completely zoned out trying to finish up your latest blog. A cup appeared on your table and when you looked up, the person standing there took your breath. She was taller in person. The high pony she sported really brought her round face. You could see your reflection in the gloss on her lips. She looked nervous. You sat silently, glaring up at her waiting for her to say something.

“Um,” she started, “I think you know who I am. Can we talk?”

You clench and unclench your jaw and she could see the conflict in your eyes. You could politely say no and go back to working, you could stand up and punch her in the throat or… you could hear what she has to say. Option one was out the door. It was either fight or listen. You chose to listen.

“Sure.” your eyes travel her form up and down. You don’t bother moving any of your things to make room for her. She was invading your space after all.

You stared at her blankley. She needed to start talking before you changed your mind and start dragging her through this shop. You clear your throat and she took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

“I’m Leah.”

You continue to stare at her with the most unbothered expression. She wipes her palms on her jeans and perks up like she’s been hit with a sudden burst of confidence.

“Me and Erik have been dating for a couple of months now. He didn’t tell me about you at first.” your face didn’t change as she continued on. “Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that you need to leave him alone now.”

You scoff at that. “Wow.” you mouthed. You look around you to make sure that she’s really talking to you.

“I’m being dead ass girl. He’s mine now and you need to move on.”

“Me? I need to move on?” you were in disbelief. Erik has been blowing your phone up and sending you gifts every single day since you put him out. Yet, his-- whatever she is, is here bothering you. Before you could continue, Leah’s eyes move passed you at something behind you. You feel a large presence glooming over you and when you look up, Erik is standing just inches away from you with his dark eyes glaring at Leah. Leah smirks at him. His eyebrows connect with a scowl.

“The fuck are you doing here?” he spat at her.

She opens her mouth to speak but you beat her to it. “She was telling me how happy y’all are and that I need to move on and leave her man alone.” you end your word with a smile.

Leah didn’t add or deny anything that you said. She seemed content with your reply.

“I’m not your man. I never fucking was.” he grabbed her arm, bringing her to her feet. “You need to go.”

You watched confused. At this point you were wondering how in the hell did either of them know where you were. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. Erik had been watching you. Leah had been watching him, watch you.

“I’m not leaving, Erik.” Leah snatched her arm away and folded her arms over her chest. “You need to end this now.”

“End what?”

“You and her.” she pointed between the two of you.

“I’m not ending shit with her. You need to get that through your thick ass skull. I been told you I was done with you. The fuck you keep crawling back for?” Erik was now hovering over Leah’s slim body, snarling at her.

Her eyes began to water. She tried to blink it away but she was shaking. “What about me, Erik? You think you can just fuck me and that’s it?” she was yelling now and causing attention to be casted onto the three of you. Erik was pissed. Her eyes grew big, sensing the danger she was in if she didn’t back down. You swiftly began packing up your things.

“That shit was one time!” he barked. “And I shouldn’t have done that. You crazy bitch!”

You stormed passed the yelling duo. You had so many feelings rushing through you right now and you just wanted to run. You had walked to the coffee shop since it was only a few blocks from your apartment so you began power walking back home. Tears were filling the brim of your eyes as you walked.

“Y/N!” Erik calls out to you. He jogs to catch up to you. “Baby, can you please hear me out?”

“What Erik! What is it that you have to say?” You’ve had enough. You just wanted this to be over already. Your mind was already made up. You were sick of Erik’s bullshit.

“Y/N… I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? That’s all you have to say?”

Erik pulled you to the side, out of the way of passing people on the street. “Of course not. You know I love you, Y/N. I just--”

“Spit it out, Erik.” a lone tear had began to fall and Erik rubbed it away with his thumb. You didn’t even have the energy to move away.

“I’ve only been in love once before you. You know that. That didn’t end well and I guess--”

“Really Erik? So I’m supposed to suffer because that bitch had a baby on you? That’s not my fault. I’ve been nothing but good to you. I’ve loved you. I helped you heal.” You let the tears fall as you let out a deep, shaky breath. “I’m supposed to be your wife, E.” That last part came out low. The pain in your voice traveled through Erik’s entire body. His chest became tight seeing you hurt this way.

“It was one time.” his large hands cup your cheeks. He was pleading with you now.

“One time doesn’t make someone believe that y’all are together. She clearly was keeping tabs on you to find me.”

“I swear, it was one time. I know this isn’t an excuse but this whole wedding planning shit was getting heavy. Seeing it all made it real and I got scared. I didn’t want to get all the way there and then my heart gets broken again.”

“Do you really think I would ever do anything to hurt you?”

“I know you wouldn’t. I was being stupid and letting people get in my head.”

You shake your head. You wipe your face of your tears with the sleeves of your hoodie. You were done crying. He doesn’t get anymore. “No,” you look him in the eye. “I’ve been nothing but good to you. I was actually thinking about forgiving you. But this bitch really had the balls to approach me. I don’t need that in my life Erik. I need to know that the man I’m going to marry is honest with me. That he won’t be out here just fucking around on me and disturbing my peace.. OUR PEACE.” Erik tried to get a word in but you wouldn’t allow him. “How do I know this bitch won’t quit? How do I know that when another major event happen for us, you won’t get scared and pull some shit like this again? Huh?”

“It won’t!” his voice was laced with the need to get through to you.

“Yeah, it won’t.” You dug into the front pocket of your purse and pulled out your engagement ring. You placed it in his palm and you could’ve sworn you heard his heart break. Erik’s breathing was heavy and his palm was hot. “I did everything right and it still wasn’t enough for you, Erik. I love you. I swear I do, but I don’t deserve this.”

You made your way back onto the sidewalk to continue your journey home. Erik called out to you. The hurt in his voice almost made you turn back to him… almost. But you had promised to never be that person again. You wouldn’t put someone else’s hurt before your own. No one was worth your sanity. Not even your husband to be. Like you did two weeks ago, you could give yourself time to feel this but you would bounce back. You always did.

Tags: @chaneajoyyy @raysunshine78 @alexundefined @elaindeereads @tgigoldie @shaekingshitup @soufcakmistress @ohliyaxoxo​ @steampunkprincess147​ @soulfxll​ @dangerous-history @abeautifulmindexposed @itsjustshanie @keiva1000 @rbhp 

[shreddedparchment]

To Be Seen

02/26/2019

Pairing: Thor x Reader          Word Count: 9,079

*Masterpost in Notes

Warnings: language, smut, angst, alcohol consumption, drunk sex

A/N: So, this turned into something I wasn’t expecting. I haven’t edited it because I’m hurting and I don’t have the energy to go back and fix it. So please excuse the typos if there are any. There probably are. I’ll come back and fix it all when I feel better. I’m thinking this will be a mini-series because I don’t want to leave the characters yet and would like to explore them some more. I hope y’all like it. As always if you reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

You're heartbroken.

The agony ripping through your chest you’ve known before. You’re familiar with rejection. Over the years the bitter sting of once again not being enough to be wanted or desired has become a toxic friend.

Rather than every wound healing to make you stronger, it has only broken you more. Conditioned you into a fearful and hopeless response when your eye is caught by some person or other.

It's also not like you fall often. It takes you ages to move on. Which leaves you caught in the limbo of pining for someone you know you can never have.

You sniffle, overcome with sorrow as you replay the soft expression on his face. His name doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that as you sat beside him in the small local park, body burning from being so close to him on the stone bench you’d first met, you’d been happy to just be near him.

He was no Adonis. It's not like he had movie star good looks or that he was some ideal that everyone wished for. What he was, was nice. He was sweet and considerate and funny. He had gorgeous green eyes and a soft smile.

His teeth weren’t perfect, but they didn’t make him less attractive to you. They were normal. He was normal. Extraordinary because you cared about him.

After two months of getting to know him, two months over which you fell more and more for him, your crush taking solid hold, you’d done what you swore you wouldn’t do again.

After last time you should have learned your lesson.

“I like you.” Your soft voice, uncertain and barely confident had seeped out those dreaded words without your permission.

He'd made you laugh, made you feel safe, and without your consent you confessed.

The stunned silence that followed had been stressful. Your hands were suddenly numb and your heart had stalled completely as you and he were suspended in unbearable awkwardness.

You’d wanted to take your words back. You hadn’t truly been ready to tell him. You'd just gotten caught up in the moment. Stupid!

Then he'd turned to you, watching you with those stunning eyes and you recognized the guilty shift.

“I…I’m flattered, Y/N but I-"

He was so sorry to say it, sorry to hurt you. Why did this always happen? Why you? What was wrong with you? What were you missing?

You weren’t the most outgoing but with the people you liked you were an open book. You were polite about it, speaking your mind while being considerate to respect the opinions of everyone else. You rarely lost your temper and when you did you never misdirected it and let someone else feel your rage.

You weren't a genius, but you had your smarts. In your own way you were pretty. You didn’t think you were lacking there. Perhaps your beauty, what you saw when you looked in the mirror, wasn't enough?

You'd always been grateful for what you had. Maybe you weren’t a supermodel, but you were you. You had your own charms. Or did you?

Why couldn’t any of them see you? Why couldn’t they, just once, like you back?

You'd quickly reminded him that he'd said he had an appointment, by which you knew he meant date, before he could finish his sentence.

You hadn’t wanted to hear another speech about how you were sweet or so nice or such a good friend.

He’d continued to stare at you until you gestured behind him where a girl, much closer to a supermodel than you were with her flowing blonde beach waves, large sweet smile, and big blue eyes had stood waiting in a short white and pastel blue floral dress.

You’d compared yourself to her even though you knew you shouldn’t. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t right. You were you and she was herself…but why her? Why not you?

“You should go, your appointment is waiting.”

“Y/N…?” He'd said, that guilt in his voice twisting your gut.

“Don’t keep her waiting. It's not polite. Especially when she can see you sitting with another girl. Even if there’s nothing between you and the other girl it can cause misunderstandings.” You gave him a quick smile, trying to ease his conscience but failing.

“Y/N…”

“Please, just go.” You’d quietly begged almost losing your voice completely as you’d turned your gaze down onto his hands which had slid towards you, but he still wouldn’t reach out.

You knew he wouldn’t and still part of you had hoped.

He’d risen slowly and you could feel his eyes on you the entire time. They were always nice guys. They always hated to hurt you. But they always hurt you any way. It wasn’t their fault. You know that.

They hadn’t made you like them. They hadn’t made you confess. You’d done it on your own and so the heartbreak had always been on you. As much as you wanted to hate him, as much as you wanted to be the one who was in the right, you had never been and never will be. He hadn’t led you on. He hadn’t made promises and broken them. All he’d done was be nice. You’d fallen for him all on your own.

Maybe this time you’d finally learn your lesson?

“We’re not done talking about this, Y/N.” He’d said sternly as if he were trying to settle that your confession was more important than you both knew it really was.

You’d known the truth of what he was doing. If he’d really cared, if it had really mattered, no other girl could have kept him from reaching out to you right then, in that moment. It’s not like he was married or in a relationship. He’d told you he was single. Had it really mattered that you’d just told him you liked him, he’d have apologized to the other girl and the two of you would have talked.

Instead he continued to stare down at you.

“Y/N?” He’d repeated with more authority, but you were unmoved.

“Just go. She’s getting upset.” He’d followed your gaze and sure enough the pretty blonde was standing with a frown on her face, contorting her beautiful smile into a nasty pout.

To you she hadn’t looked so beautiful right then, but it was enough to finally pull him away.

“We’ll talk later.” He’d insisted one final time before he turned and hurried to his date.

You’d watched him place his hands on her biceps. She’d pouted a bit more prettily as he got closer, and he’d pulled her in for a quick hug before leading her out of the park without glancing back.

He’d left you sitting on the bench, staring across the small and worn brick path at the small pond where birds, squirrels, and other small wildlife gathered during the daytime, unafraid of human presence.

You hate thinking about it again and again, but it replays itself in your head over and over.

You kick the ground, scuffing up your sneaker as you sniffle again then reach up to wipe your nose with the back of your hand. Very attractive.

You haven’t cried much this time which is a big improvement to your last crush.

“I’ll never like anyone ever again.” You grumble forlornly as you kick the ground again, dislodging a brick and smacking your toe. “Ow!”

You fold your leg up and quickly curl both hands around your large right toe. It feels like you’ve broken it. It’s throbbing and hot. You really want to take off your shoe.

“Oh, sorry. Forgive me, I did not mean to intrude.” A deep rumbling baritone hits your ears like a soothing song.

You sniffle again, hating your runny nose and look up for the source of the intrusion to your multilayered and self-inflicted torture.

You should be shocked by what you see because you’ve never seen any of the Avengers in person, well except for Mr. Stark. However, you’re not shocked. In fact you look down at your foot before lowering it back to the ground as you wiggle your big toe. Definitely not broken.

“You’re not intruding.” He speaks in a funny cadence, accented. It’s pleasing.

You look at him again as you sniffle once more. He’s tall, really tall. He’d tower over you, your head barely reaching his chest if you stand up. He’s large too. Muscles rippling underneath a black heather shirt as he stops his casual walk and slowly shoves his hands into the front pockets of his black jeans. His brown leather boots look the newest. They’re dark and glossy. He’s also wearing a watch—why would he need a watch?—and a few silver rings on his fingers. Large manly rings. Has he acclimated so much to living here with the team that he’s taken to caring about Earth’s fashion?

Your eyes roam over the exposed skin of his clavicle, the two top buttons of his shirt left unbuttoned flashing browned peach skin. He’s so tan. His short blonde hair and full but well-manicured beard looks almost brown save for the soft golden flecks that the sun illuminates as he teeters back and forth on the balls of his feet.

“I felt as if I was.” He insists. “May I join you?”

“It’s a free country.” You counter with a final sniffle. “Mostly.”

He smiles sweetly, no teeth, just a soft curve of his full pink lips. They’re wide and his eyes crinkle at the corners. He seems to genuinely be smiling at you as he moves over to you and sits to your left. He’s large closer. He takes up a lot of space.

You turn your gaze back across the path to the pond and wonder about the heat radiating off of his body. Is it an Asgardian thing?

“I am Thor, by the way.”

“Y/N.” You introduce yourself simply. He won’t remember you later anyway. “And I know who you are, Mr. Thor.”

That sounds weird.

“Please, just Thor.” He waves off your formality. “Hold on, how do you know who I am?”

“Doesn’t everyone know the Avengers?” You shrug and look up a little higher at the beautiful wine, grape, and pearl colored butterfly flowers across the pond.

“Oh, right.”

You feel a little guilty about not being a hundred percent truthful, so you come clean.

“I uh…I also work in the compound.” Your hesitancy draws his brow to a pucker, and you stare this time, his confusion looks funny and for a moment you forget today’s disappointment.

“I have never seen you before. What department do you work for?”

“You wouldn’t have seen me, I’m kept in the back. Hidden from view. I fix everyone’s suits. Me and a few other people. Did you think Captain America’s Kevlar just magically stitched itself back up?” You tease.

“Sort of. Is it a hard job?” He rests his hands beside his thighs, leaning forward as he attempts to get a better look at your face.

“Just a thankless one. I fix your cape and then you just go and tear it again.”

“You have fixed my cape?” He asks, astonished. You know why. Asgardian material is difficult to work with sometimes. When the tears are too big you’ve had to find a weave that is similar.

“Every time you’ve torn it. I had to shorten it a few times and fill it in with some of the stuff we have here on Earth. You know, if you want to make my job easier, next time you happen to be around whatever provides the thread and material for your cape, you’d remember to bring me some.” You feel distracted enough that you smile at him kindly.

It doesn’t reach your eyes and he seems to see that because he frowns.

Feeling exposed, you turn tender eyes back onto the pond and shift uneasily in your seat.

“I shall keep that in mind.” He assures you. “Is something wrong? When I found you, it appeared as if you had been crying.”

Damn.

“Your eyes are still red.” He continues relentlessly.

You sigh and cross your arms across your chest, hating to be so obvious.

“If you do not wish to tell me-”

“I don’t.” You reply quickly. “But…it’s no secret. I’m kind of a loser when it comes to romance and I confessed to a guy I was crushing on.”

“Crushing on?” Thor asks, that cute look of confusion shaping his chiseled features again.

“Someone that I have an interest in being with. Someone I like.” You explain gently.

“Ah. What is wrong with confessing? Unless of course he…Oh. I see.” Thor realizes what must have happened.

“He doesn’t feel the same way.” You confirm for him and he turns to look out across the path at the pond too. “It’s a stupid reason to cry.”

“Love is a very powerful emotion. The strongest, I would say.”

“I don’t love him.”

Your eyes are suddenly wide as you think about the big ‘L’ word. You definitely don’t love him.

“Perhaps not, but an attraction that would bring one to tears is sure to have been deep and with the potential for love. It is a sad thing to lose. A terrible hope to crush. I am sorry that this man did not return your affections.”

Thor’s right of course. And as he talks about the potential you’d seen with him, the future that now you know for sure is lost forever, you feel your chest give way again and let the pain back in.

Your lip trembles and your eyes spring with large salty tears. You turn away from Thor, angling your body towards the small empty gazebo. It’s surrounded on all sides by wild flowers and tall grass. It’s picturesque and pretty but you don’t see it. All you see is your rejection. Not just this one. All of them. This isn’t so much about him anymore. It’s about all of them. One after the other. Blow after blow. How much more can you take?

You jump slightly as a warm graze prompts you to turn back towards your left. Thor’s hand rests against the side of your bicep with a neatly folded handkerchief clutched between his thumb and forefinger.

After staring at the small square for a few seconds, you look up at Thor expecting to find him watching you but he’s not. His eyes are courteously trained across the pond to give you your privacy. You take the piece of fabric and carefully unfurl it.

“Thank you.” You offer thickly.

“You are most welcome.”

You wipe your cheeks and eyes first then your nose before balling the fabric into your hand. You’re not handing it back to him until you’ve washed it. Gross.

“This place is charming. I’ve never seen such a collection of flowers in one location. Not like this.” He gestures around at the way the flowers grow in whichever direction they want to among other flowers that look nothing alike. The wild grass and the barely maintained pathways all lend to the beauty of the garden.

“It’s a wild flower garden. It’s maintained by some of the locals and they plant new flowers every season. Some spring up on their own. The point is not to control it but to let it grow on its own. It’s pretty.”

You’re suddenly smiling again, glancing around at the numerous flowers and the way their contrasting colors oddly compliment each other. The soft song of bluebirds, common sparrows, and cardinals fills the air pleasantly once again, for a moment, making you forget your sadness.

“That it is. Very beautiful.” His voice is soft as velvet and quiet so that only you might hear him.

Suddenly, you spot a bright red cardinal. It stops first on a stone in the pond then flitters over to the gazebo and hops forward along the railing.

Quickly you turn to Thor to see if he’s seen it too but instead find him watching you. “Did you see-What? What is it?”

You reach up to quickly wipe at your nose and then at your cheeks. Had you made a mess of yourself?

“Nothing.” Thor says with a shake of his head. “So, who was this man who rejected you? A fool no doubt?”

Great. You’re back on this topic. “Just one of the guys from work. No one important.”

“That cannot be true if he has made you shed tears like this. Shall I give him a stern talking to? Perhaps he simply needs a guiding hand to lead him down the proper path?” Thor offers, the threat clear in his tone though it’s slightly teasing and the smirk on his lips affirms the joke.

“Really, he’s just another guy. It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it and then I’ll probably fall for another guy who won’t like me back and I’ll repeat this process over and over. It’s my own personal time loop. Doomed to repeat the same mistake again and again, somehow expecting a different result. Which means I’m crazy. So, I’m fucked.”

You sigh heavily and beside you, Thor answers you with his own long sigh. “Hmmmm.”

Watching him, you can see the cogs in his brain turning.

“I need a drink.” He concludes. “And I do not like to drink alone but my friends are away on mission. Would you do me the great honor of accompanying me to the local bar?”

“Me?” You laugh because it sounds stupid. You and Thor in a bar? Drinking? If anyone from work saw you out with him it would cause quite a lot of gossip. Not that you care about the gossip. It’s just strange.

“Yes. I have enjoyed our brief conversation and would like to continue. I beg you, do not let me drink alone. Join me. I shall pay.” He asks again.

“I don’t know, Thor…” A drink sounds great but you’re also a terribly emotional drunk. “I’m not exactly a stable drunk.”

“You need not get drunk. Just one drink to relax and forget your trouble for a few hours. That is all I ask.”

“Thor…”

“Please! Please join me. I will not take no for an answer. Unless you really do not wish to go in which case, I cannot force you though I will be very lonely and depressed to be drinking without you at my side.”

You watch the uncertain expression on his face and measure up his invitation and the look of sincerity on his face. His lips suddenly curve into a very small pout and you laugh. “Fine. I’ll come.”

“Excellent. We shall imbibe into the wee hours of the night and laugh and celebrate with great joy that I have made a new friend and that you are rid of your crush and shall soon find a man worthy of your affections.”

“Right.” You sigh again, highly doubtful that he might ever be close to right.

Thor rises and towers over you as he offers you his large hands. Your stomach twists nervously. Are you making a mistake? What if you become a mess after having a few drinks? It would be so embarrassing to fall to pieces in front of Thor. It would be embarrassing to fall to pieces in front of anyone, but especially Thor since now he knows who you are and that you work at the compound.

You carefully slide both of your hands into his. They’re calloused and warm. Rough, manly hands but soothing in their heat. He closes his around yours, devouring them in their enormity, and gently gives you a tug to your feet.

“Promise me something?” You ask him as you fall into the space before him, turning your chin up to look at him with pleading eyes.

“Anything, Y/N.” His lips curve into that sweet soft smile from before and you can’t believe how close he is. This man is an Adonis. Perfect and so out of your league that your mind and body reject the idea of him immediately. The thought doesn’t even cross your mind.

“Please don’t let me get drunk. I’d hate to do something stupid now that you know I work for Mr. Stark.”

“I promise, on my honor, I shall keep you safe and ensure that you do not become intoxicated.” He drops his hands and with his hefty assurance, you follow.

The world is spinning. You can feel strong hot hands hovering around your waist as you spin in circles, blurring the room around you. You can still vaguely hear the steady and bopping beat of Deniece Williams’s ‘Let’ Hear It for the Boy’. It fills your body with unbridled joy, and you can’t fight the rhythm as it prompts you into a final spin.

A deep chuckle reaches your ears making your chest feel warm. You look for it’s source and find Thor standing before you, his eyes focused on you completely but he’s a lot shorter. How did he get down there?

“Hey…” You slur and reach down to place your hands on his wide shoulders. They’re so firm. You give them a squeeze. “How’d you get so short?”

Thor’s smile widens. “Perhaps your drink had a potion to make you taller?”

“We don’t have potions here on Earth, silly.” You giggle as his joke makes no sense.

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot.” He blinks slowly, smiling softly up at you. “Then perhaps you should come down from the table and we might correct my height. However, if I am honest, I cannot say that I mind this view.”

You’re not sure what his words mean. You shut one eye, watching him in confusion. Is he flirting? It kinda sounds like he is but your mind is so befuddled that you can’t decipher his meaning.

“You like being short?” You stupidly surmise.

“If it means that I can look up at you, why not?”

What the hell does that mean? Frustrated, you semi-explode. Luckily, you’re not a screamer when you drink. You’re just prone to strong shifts of emotion.

“Are you flirting with me?!”

Thor laughs. “I might be. Come down. I would hate it if you fell down and hurt yourself.”

“Okay.” You laugh like an idiot and with his hands firmly held on your waist you let him lead you first down onto the seat of your booth and then onto solid ground. “Woah.”

You sway unsteadily but Thor catches you up, wrapping his left arm around you loosely as he waves to the bartender across the emptying room.

“Some water, I think.”

Suddenly, the bar is filled with the infectious notes of ‘You Make My Dreams’ by Hall & Oates. As if it is beyond your control, your body begins to respond and there, within Thor’s arm, you begin to dance again. You sway your hips left and right then like a deranged but rhythmic tornado you spin again, laughing.

“You make my dreams come true!” You laugh again, singing excitedly. “Oo-oo, oo, oo, oo-oo.”

“If I had known you would enjoy music this much, I might have chosen a venue where we could have danced.” Thor doesn’t let you go and let’s you dance around him.

At least until the bartender approaches with two glasses. He places them down on your table and Thor wraps his arm more firmly around you as you spin again to stop your dancing.

You’re so disoriented and dizzy but your body feels happy and warm. He’d stopped you mid-spin, pressing you back against his large body with your back pressed against his front. You squirm in his grip, eager to keep dancing.

“Gods save me...Please do not move so, Y/N.” His voice is suddenly nervous as he leads you back to the table. “I am still a man and your hips are taunting.”

“Why? I wanna dance.” You completely didn’t hear his reason.

“You were not kidding about not letting you get drunk. Come, sit. Let us drink a little water and then if you wish to dance again, you may.” He moves to your side of the booth and turns you around then with large hands on your shoulders he sits you down. He slides a glass of water over to you and you stare at it with a small pout. The Police’s ‘Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic’ just came on!

As Thor drops into the seat opposite you, you finally allow your eyes to roam over the space again. The bar is nothing great. A hole in the wall, probably privately owned. Nothing fancy but it’s nice. It’s one of those bars that you choose to go to every day, and it becomes a regular space to inhabit where everyone seems to know each other. You remember the bartender greeting Thor as if he knew him and the way he brought Thor’s drink without being asked for it.

You wrap your hands around your glass of water and appreciate the dim lighting and the plush blue cushion you’re sitting on. There are small candles at the center of every table casting a soft glow on the patrons. Or it would if there were any other patrons in the place. It looks like it’s just you and Thor now. A waitress lingers around the bar chatting up the middle-aged bartender.

“What time is it?” Now that you’re sitting, you’re regaining your sobriety if only fractionally.

“Very late. You danced for a long time.” Thor leans forward, elbows on the table, as he watches you with that same soft smile he’s been giving you all day.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” You demand before taking a drink of your water.

“Do you think I did not try? I’m sorry I did not believe you about letting you get drunk.”

You’re still drinking but you narrow your eyes at him.

“I enjoyed watching you. I think you have been needing to relax for a while.”

Finally, you put your glass down, almost empty. “Why do you come to a regular bar? This stuff can’t get you drunk, can it?”

“No. But I enjoy the flavors. And the company is excellent. Especially today.” He gives you a toothy grin and the sight of it makes your heart stutter.

You must still be really drunk.

“Thanks for asking me to come. I…I did really need to cut loose a bit.” You sigh, remembering your afternoon.

Thor’s smile wavers and he reaches towards you with his right hand but before he can touch you and before the sting of your rejection earlier in the day can bite, the melodic Ahh of ‘Don’t Worry Baby’ by the Beach Boys flows through the speakers of the bar.

“My song!” You proclaim and rush up onto your feet.

You stumble your way towards the large digital jukebox at the far end of the bar, grabbing chairs and tables as you go so that you don’t fall.

Pressing your hands along the hard plastic and then the brilliant touch screen you begin to sway your hips to the left and the right in time with the music. You sing with familiar voices, your voice soft and gentle as the smooth tones and sweet melody begins to stir up your emotions.

“Well it’s been building up inside of me for oh I don’t know how long. I don’t know why but I keep thinking something’s bound to go wrong.”

You can hear Thor’s heavy footfall approaching.

“But she looks in my eyes and makes me realize and she says, ‘don’t worry, baby’.” Your voice cracks.

“Y/N?” Thor’s deep tremble is directly behind you and you lean your forehead against the machine, the fingers of your right hand fiddling with the screw on the bottom right corner.

You sob once. Thor places his hand on the space between your shoulders and gently coaxes you to turn towards him. You do. You let him lead you closer and you don’t try and hide the way your tears fall.

“What is wrong? I thought-?”

“Why can’t they see me?” You sob, fat heavy tears splashing down onto the floor.

“What-?”

“I’m not mean. I don’t do anything wrong. Not that I know of. Am I too nice? Should I be meaner? I can be meaner...I think. I have feelings. I can feel. I’m not empty. My heart breaks. I have hopes. I have dreams. Why can’t they see me, Thor? What’s wrong with me? I-I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m not pretty like other girls. But I’m patient. I listen. Should I not listen? Should I play games and pretend that I don’t care? Is that what they want? Do they want me to be aloof? I can’t do that. When I like someone, I can’t pretend that I don’t. When will it be my turn? When will I be the one that they choose? Why can’t it be me?” You shut your eyes tight, gripping Thor’s forearms while your body shakes with heavy sobs. “Why am I the only one that ever gets hurt? Why? I just want to be seen.”

Large hands suddenly engulf the sides of your face. You open your eyes, looking for their source and find bright blue eyes and a narrowed brow watching you. With your hands still gripping his forearms, Thor leans down and presses soft warm lips against your own.

You gasp against his mouth, shocked by the contact but you don’t pull away. You can’t. He’s got you held in place.

He’s so gentle in the way he massages his lips against your own. Unable to fully comprehend what’s happening you don’t kiss him back.

When he pulls back, he gives you only enough space to speak. You can still feel the heat of his breath on your lips. “Why…?”

“Forgive me. You just…to answer your question. Perhaps these men of Earth are not worthy of your vulnerability.”

“And you are? Why did you kiss me?” You demand.

“I needed to.” He confesses.

“Oh.”

And he kisses you again, once again startling you. You gasp again against his lips, this time your heart flutters. Unsure of what it is that you’re doing exactly, you give in and pucker your lips against his. He responds to your kiss and pulls you closer, dropping his left hand to wrap his arm around your waist to pull you flush against his body.

The way he moves is intoxicating. You’re not sure what you’re doing. You’re half not thinking. You’re drunk. Sort of. You’re sober enough to know that you’re making out with Thor in the middle of a bar. But had you not been drinking, would you have kissed him back? Not this soon, maybe. But it feels so good. Suddenly you’re pulling him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck as he finds your legs and guides them up around his waist as he lifts you up.

Your kiss deepens as he opens his mouth and traces the edges of your lips with his tongue. You let him in, mingling with him as you mewl at his touch. As he kisses you, his beard tickles you but you don’t dare pull away, shifting your head to the left as he also adjusts to keep your kiss going.

You kiss him until your lungs begin to protest and you pull back, gasping for air.

“Forgive me.” He says again, confusing you.

“For what?”

“You are…I cannot help myself.” He explains, his voice low and husky.

“Then don’t.”

“You are so starved for affection.” He looks down at your hands as they trace the shape of his biceps and shoulders.

“I…” You feel shame course through you, and you begin to pull your hands back. “I’m sorry.”

“Was that your first kiss?” He asks and it makes your neck and ears burn.

Had you sucked that much? You nod.

“They do not know what they are missing.” He assures you.

You look up at him, wondering if he’s serious or simply trying to make you feel better.

“Are you sober?” He wonders.

You think, trying to examine your own mind but the dizziness you feel could be from Thor’s kiss or the copious amount of liquor you’d drunk earlier. Because you can’t tell, you shake your head.

Thor sighs heavily. “Then we shall stop here for tonight.”

“But…” You protest, wanting so much to kiss him again. Now that you’ve had it, you want it. He’s right. You’re starved for it.

He unhooks your legs from around his waist and helps lower you down gently to the ground before he lumbers towards the booth, you’d been in to grab your bag.

He moves back to you, grabbing your hand as he passes and after a nod to the bartender, he leads you back out into the night.

“This is where you live?” He wonders, staring up at the small house.

It’s not exactly nice. It’s cheap. The shutters are falling down, the paint is faded, the windows barred, and the lawn overgrown. You feel embarrassed again.

“The landlord is supposed to come and fix it up, but they never come.” You look up at him but find him watching you instead of your house.

“Do you live here alone?” He wonders, worry in his voice.

You nod.

“Come, I shall escort you inside.” He pulls you up the rickety steps of the porch, stopping to look down at them as they protest against his weight.

“The wood is rotted.” You explain with embarrassment.

You release his hand and move up to the door and first slide your key into the black metal security door, struggling with the lock for a moment before it finally turns. You pull it open and it creaks loudly. The second door is easier to open. You unlock it and push it open before moving inside. Thor follows and your heart hammers in your chest as you drop your bag and keys by the small table near the door and flip lights on as you go, moving towards the kitchen.

Thor keeps close behind you, his eyes roving over the small living room and the sparse decoration.

Your kitchen is dated. The last time the house had been remodeled must have been the fifties. It’s canary yellow, counters made of cheap plywood. Your fridge is rusted in certain areas, also no older than the fifties, with the handle for the freezer missing, replaced by a rope you’d found in your boxes when you’d moved in. You sigh as you look the space over feeling more and more self-conscious as you expose your home to him.

“I know it’s ugly. I mean, compared to what Mr. Stark must have for you guys up on the compound? He’s got such an eye for modern design. I love working at the compound.” You turn to look at him, to explain that this is only temporary until you can save enough money to move out of here into somewhere much nicer, but you don’t get the chance as he’s suddenly lifting you up to sit on your counter.

He closes the space between your bodies and sighs heavily as he leans down to rest his cheek against your own, itching to kiss you again it seems.

Your mind is a jumbled mess of sensory information. His large hands on your waist grip you tightly, his large torso, so close to yours washes you with wave after wave of heat. His breath tickles the curve of your lips and once again his beard gently scratches along your cheek.

Your surroundings, the way he’d found you today, crying in the bar, you’re suddenly worried about why he’s doing this, and you pull back to look at his face. His blue eyes search yours, curious as to what you’ll say.

“Thor, I’m not…I don’t need you to save me if that’s why you’re…you’re doing this. I know that my life kinda sucks but it’s really great too. I might not have a boyfriend and I might have been rejected earlier today and then gotten drunk and made a fool of myself by crying at the bar, and I know my house is shit but this is my life and I’m okay with it…for the most part.” Obviously, you could do without the constant rejection. “I don’t need you to save me.”

Thor pulls back, giving you a bit more space as he smiles down at you. “Is that why you think I kissed you?”

“Isn’t it?”

Thor sighs and reaches up to caress the back of your head before dropping his hand to rest on your right left shoulder.

“I kissed you because you make me laugh. I kissed you because you can’t hold your liquor. I kissed you because of the way you dance. I kissed you because…because you wiggled against me.” His cheeks flush. Even beneath his scruffy beard you can see the red hue burn bright.

“When did I wiggle against you? I did not!” You argue.

He laughs lightly. “I kissed you because of the way your hips swish in time to the music. I kissed you because I have never seen someone open up the way you did when you cried in the bar. And now I want to kiss you because you prove that although your heart was broken this morning, you do not need to be saved. And I like the way you taste.”

It’s your turn to burn.

“But…” You begin, unsure. “I’m nothing. No one ever wants to kiss me. No one has ever wanted to kiss me.”

Not to mention this is Thor in front of you. You look him over again and your heart aches with how beautiful he is. And he’s nice too! It’s not enough that he looks the way he does but he also has to be nice and funny? How is it fair?

“I do not think you understand just how much you have made me want you.” His voice drops in octave again, making it husky and fluid as he speaks. “If we had not been drinking and I were certain that you are not drunk, I would take you into your bedroom and have you in every way I could think of.”

You swallow hard, suddenly wishing you hadn’t been drinking tonight but also remembering that you’d just met him. “Thor…”

“We will have plenty of time for that. For now, I will have to make do with your lips.” He leans down and catches your mouth in another searing kiss.

This time he kisses you until you’re dizzy. His heady scent, fresh spring rain and the slightest hint of ozone, overcomes all of your senses as he deepens his kiss once more. You could sit here in your kitchen and kiss him forever. His lips move with such gentle passion, his hands exploring the curves of your body without moving too far into taboo territory for a first date.

No. That hadn’t been a date, had it?

You’re not sure how long you and Thor make out but when he finally pulls away, you give in to the comforting heat of his form and lean in against him. You rest your cheek against his left shoulder, your eyes staring at the tight muscles of his neck as he swallows and forces himself to breathe slowly.

“What if I wake up and this has all been a dream?” You ask, reaching up to grab a gentle hold of his right ear with your left hand.

“I will show you that it is not a dream.”

“This is really weird, Thor. We just met today.”

“Did we?” He asks, teasing uncertainty.

“Didn’t we?” Your brain quickly tries to think of another time you might have come across Thor but you’re drawing up a blank.

“I should go. It is very late, and you need rest.” Regrettably he pulls away from you and with your hands held in his he helps you down from the counter before moving for the front door.

The closer he pulls you towards the it the heavier your feet seem to get. You don’t want him to go. The idea of him leaving weighs heavily on your chest until he’s reaching for the handle and you yank back on his left hand.

“No.”

Thor’s blue eyes find you again, “What is the matter?”

“Don’t go, Thor.”

“I must go.”

“Because I’m drunk?”

“Well…yes, but-”

“I’m not drunk.” You argue, ignoring the way the world sways beneath your feet. “Please, don’t leave me. Stay.”

“I cannot. I do not wish to take advantage of you if you are not of sound mind. We will have plenty of time to revisit this possibility, Y/N. I-”

Throwing caution to the wind you throw yourself on him. You pull his head down so that your lips can move with his. He kisses you back, gentle and uncertain if this is right.

You want him. You’ve never wanted anyone more. Now that you’ve kissed him, his intoxicating lips, you need more. You move your hands down slowly along the taut muscles of his back before they come to rest on his waist where your fingers search for the seam of his shirt. They yield their purchase and with yearning intent your hands caress the surprisingly smooth skin of his back sliding his shirt up further and further as you explore.

He suddenly groans into your mouth and slowly he backs you up until he can turn you and press you up against the wall of your hallway. You break the kiss to catch your breath, excited by the feel of his skin underneath your hands.

Shifting slightly, he trails his burning kisses down along your throat. He reaches up and pushes your t-shirt aside to kiss the bare skin of your shoulder sending shivers up and down your spine.

“Stay…” You whisper, begging in what sounds so much like a moan.

“I should not.” He argues, the groan in his voice as he struggles with your pleading sending flutters into your stomach.

“Stay…” You insist.

“No.” He argues, still kissing his way up and down your shoulder and neck.

You reach up to catch his face once again and pull his lips back to yours as you initiate a slow salacious kiss.

“Mmph.” He moans against you and you know just a little more and he’ll cave.

While his hands are busy massaging the flesh of your hips, you let your own snake their way down to the front of his pants to undo the buckle of his belt and the button of his pants.

He breaks the kiss, startled.

“Stay…” You beg against his lips.

“Y/N…” He warns.

You search for the small metal tab along the front of his pants and find it in triumph before you slide it down. The sound of his zipper echoes around the hallway loudly. Your fingers go searching, delving into the front of his pants to find the soft fabric of his briefs, and the growing heat of his rod. He shuts his eyes tight and flexes his jaw hard, fighting some internal struggle as you touch him.

“Stay with me.” You plead one final time.

Suddenly his hands on your waist are rough. He lifts you up, slamming you slightly against the wall of your hall. You gasp and your hand falls out of his pants. He grabs your left leg firmly and wraps it around his waist as he holds you against the wall with his body alone then rocks his hips against your sex.

He uses his left hand to pull your shirt up over your head and you raise your arms up to help him pull it free. He rips the latch of your bra and you quickly peel it off for him and toss the fabric aside, gasping as he pushes himself against you.

For one long agonizing moment, Thor simply stares at your chest. Does he not like what he sees? Your insecurities begin to manifest quickly then they’re quickly wiped away as Thor leans down and suckles on your left breast.

You gasp, your core growing slick quickly. How long have you wanted to be touched this way? How long had you waited for the perfect one? The man who would finally have you? You’re so glad that it’s Thor.

As he traces long tantalizing circles around your nipples moving each of them into his mouth in turn, his right hand finds its way to the front of your jeans. He pulls his own hips back then undoes them and without warning slips his hand in underneath your underwear.

You moan as his fingers find your wet lips and immediately he begins to slide them up and down along your slit searching for whatever spot might please you most.

You tremble as he finds your nub, your little bundle of nerves at the apex of your lower lips and he pulls back to watch the twist of pleasure in your expression.

“Does that feel good?”

Does he really need to ask?! “Yes.”

He wraps his free arm around your waist as he continues to play with you, then turns and waits. “Which way is your bedroom?”

“Th-Third…ah!” You shudder against his hand, gripping onto his shoulders tightly as you lean forward to bite down on his shoulder.

He stops his fingers so that you can speak. “Third door on the right.”

As soon as you’ve released the desire information his fingers are back at work, pressing hard against your nub so that you shudder against his large body.

You have no time to look to see what he thinks of your bedroom. Nothing much in it but a small full-size bed on a rusted bed frame and two sets of drawers, both mismatched and out of place. He’s too busy to care about what’s in here too. He drops you onto the bed and pulls his hand free of your pants only to remove them along with your underwear leaving you completely exposed for him to see.

Nervously you attempt to cover yourself, but Thor reaches for your wrists and pulls them away from your breasts and presses them into the mattress over your head firmly, indicating he’d like you to keep them there. You do as he wants and with nervous flutters in your stomach you watch as he stands back up. He reaches back behind his neck with both hands and pulls his black shirt up over his head exposing for you large rippling muscles. How can he look like that? It’s not possible.

Your jaw drops as you gape at him in awe.

He smiles knowingly at you before pushing his pants and briefs down exposing his fully erect staff. You panic slightly, wondering how the hell he’s going to fit inside of you. This makes you clench your legs together, worried that you’ll disappoint him suddenly.

“Thor?”

He removes his watch and tosses it down onto his pants before he moves back to crawl over you slowly.

Your heart racing in panic, you reach up to press flat palms against his approaching chest. God, he’s hard.

“I…I’ve never…I haven’t been with anyone before.” You confess feeling self-conscious again.

He suddenly stops his advance, lowering himself down against you but keeping his weight supported with his arms.

“You have never made love before?” He wonders, surprised.

“No.” You shrug bringing your arms down to cover your chest again.

Thor frowns and reaches up with his right hand to push your hands away from blocking his view.

“I…I told you that no one has ever, they don’t see me.” You say, reminding him of your breakdown in the bar.

“I see you.” He whispers then leans down to kiss your lips.

That you like. You like his lips. You kiss him back eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck. You’re so intoxicated by his kiss that you don’t realize he’s positioned himself over you, nudging your legs up and open as he presses the tip of his rod against your very wet entrance.

You pull back, gasping at the strange sensation and look down between your bodies but he’s lying almost completely on top of you that you can see only the tight well-formed muscles of his stomach.

“I will be gentle.” He assures you. “But if you would like to stop, we will stop right now.”

He’s giving you an out. The fear you feel at never having done this before, the pain it might bring, the consequences it could yield, and your inexperience all scream at you to take it. You might suck. What if you suck? With Thor? And he’s so…so big. Will it hurt?

“Y/N?” His voice brings your eyes up to meet his. “Shall we stop?”

And you might have said yes. If you weren’t looking into his stunning blue eyes and if you couldn’t see the kindness and gentle patience in them, you might have stopped. He reaches up with his left hand and caresses the side of your face slowly. You shake your head.

“Don’t stop.”

He leans down to meet your lips again while simultaneously pushing himself slowly inside of you. Your limbs spasm, quickly reaching up to clutch him closer, tighter, as you fight the strange sensation of being filled. It hurts. It does, and you groan against his lips. He stops and lets your body adjust before he pushes in a bit more, all the while kissing you with soft feather light kisses.

He pulls back to trails those soft, apologetic kisses along your jawline and up towards your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, your other cheek, and back to your lips.

He finally stops moving and you realize that he’s all the way in. Your pelvis hurts only a little and slowly the throbbing dies down leaving you feeling strangely stuffed.

“Are you alright?” He asks gently.

You nod. “It hurts.”

“Shall I stop?”

“Please, don’t stop.” You try to focus on something other than the ache and pull him back down for a quick kiss.

“If you want me to stop…” He begins, giving you another out but he pulls back slowly, sliding out of you almost three-quarters of the way before he pushes himself back in.

You gasp, squeezing your eyes shut as the pain is renewed.

He stops.

“Keep going.” You beg.

Thor hesitates but you pull him into another lusty kiss, and he begins to pump himself in and out a little faster.

You wish it had gotten better after a few minutes, but you didn’t enjoy your first time. Thor didn’t dislike it, but you can tell that he’s regretful that your first time was painful. He reached his release and that makes you happy. At least you were able to make him feel good.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, breathing heavily over you, his hands massaging your shoulder then arm.

“Don’t be.” You slip your hands into his hair and gently scratch his scalp. He shuts his eyes, enjoying the sensation before he slides his hand down between your legs.

“Thor…” You begin, worried that he’s going to obsess over your lack of orgasm.

“It is not fair.” He argues and proceeds to press his fingers against that nub of yours again.

You squirm slightly, shifting your hips beneath him.

“It will get better with time.” He assures you.

You reach down to grab his wrist and hold it in place, brow furrowed as you search his face.

“You…You want to do this with me again?”

“Of course. Did you think this was a passing fancy?” He demands, half laughing at how ridiculous he finds that notion.

His fingers move again, and you buck against his touch. He plays your nub until your hips surge upwards, seeking one final push as your body is suddenly awash in euphoric climax. Thor worms his arm underneath your waist as you lift your body up towards him with the power of your release. He holds you close and lets you ride out your orgasm until your body is slack in his arms.

“I feel better.” He sighs, happy to see you content.

You laugh and reach up to pull him down for a long kiss.

“If someone had told me that I would wake up this morning alone and end up in bed with Thor, the God of Thunder at night, I would have called them psychotic and delusional.”

“You do not give yourself enough credit. You are irresistible, Y/N. And if I may, I’m almost certain that tomorrow you will end up in bed with Thor, the God of Thunder again. And this time, you’ll enjoy your time together much more.”

“I did enjoy tonight.” You assure him.

“You’ll enjoy it more.” He promises.

You take him at his word and then look down at your body. “I should go shower. And we should change the sheets.”

It’s not a large stain but the red on the sheets is embarrassing. You slip out of his grip and roll off the side of the bed, feeling sore, but eager to get cleaned up. You’re also still dizzy, drunk still but you’re not telling Thor that. You concentrate hard to keep your body from swaying.

He watches you, slowly getting up too so that you can strip the bed of the soiled sheets.

“You do not regret my staying?”

You look up at him as you ball the dirtied sheets in your arms and are startled by the soft look of insecurity on his face. How can he be worried about you wanting him here?

“No.” You assure him sweetly. “Thor…”

Quickly you move around the bed to his side and without hesitation wrap your left arm around his waist. Where you’ve found this sudden confidence, you’re not sure, but you know that you need to show him that you love his being here.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to stay if I didn’t mean it. I wanted this. I wanted you. Do you regret staying?” Now it’s your turn to be insecure.

You loosen your arm and he’s suddenly wrapping you up in his own.

“Never.” He promises.

“Good.” You smile. “I’m gonna go shower.”

You pull out of his arms and wander into the bathroom. It takes you ten minutes to clean up. You hope that the soreness will fade quickly. You want to try that again soon.

In the room, Thor is laying on top of a freshly made bed, right hand under his head, left on his chiseled stomach, still completely naked. He must have found the sheets in your closet and made the bed for you.

You stare at his perfect form and reach over with your right hand to pinch your left bicep hard. “Ow.”

Definitely not dreaming.

It’s a whisper but Thor’s eyes shoot open at the sound and he pushes himself up to look at you, a sweet smile plastered onto his perfect lips.

You had been wanting to wait for a while before you tried again but just watching him lay there, naked, looking good enough to eat, you unhook the corner of your towel and let it fall away.

As your nakedness is exposed once more, Thor’s smile falls away and he swallows hard as the rod between his legs twitches and slowly stands erect again.

“I think I’m ready to try again now.”

“Then come here.” He murmurs huskily and you happily obey.

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To Be Seen

@zoey-odinson-stark @slice-of-thunder

[slyther-bird]

1-92 😘😘

Child pls… I’m gonna put these under a cut because holy shit that’s a lot of questions and I’m not flooding anyone’s dashes (forgive any typos pls. It’s late for me)

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

That would be you, so nah bro

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Fuck no

3. Have you taken someone’s virginity?

I think so? I was told yes but I don’t know if that was true or not

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Sometimes, but it depends on the situation

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Nope

6. What are you excited for?

Right now probably my next skating day

7. What happened tonight?

I shut myself in my room and watched vine compilations while fighting with a drawing and then decided I deserved alcohol and snuck into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. And got harassed by my cat because she’s ridiculous

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

I guess it depends on what happens when they get really wasted? I’m usually the one drunk and don’t remember a lot so I couldn’t say

9. Is confidence cute?

In the right situation yea, but not if the person is being cocky and rude

10. What is the last beverage you had?

I’m switching between a white wine and water because the wine isn’t cold and keeps drying out my mouth

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Maybe 3 max?

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Yup

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

If I can’t make it to skating probably just watch YouTube and draw

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

It honestly depends when I end up getting a job, but I do need more wood panels for mosaics so probably those

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Nope

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

I fucking hope so

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

You tbh

18. The last time you felt broken?

Probably within the last week? It was recent and it’s been a shitty week so

19. Have you had sex today?

Nah mate

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

Not really? I’ve been trying to keep busy with things so I can’t think of anything

21. Are you in a good mood?

I’d say a decent one

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

If it was totally safe and controlled then yea sure

23. Are your eyes the same colour as your dad’s?

No, mine are a really dark brown and his are hazel

24. What do you want right this second?

Probably some motivation tbh. Or a pita

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I’m not interested in/looking for anyone right now so it wouldn’t matter?

26. Is your current hair colour your natural hair colour?

Partially. I still haven’t cut off the bleached bits yet. I really should

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Depends on their other qualities. I’m not totally in touch with emotions so something could make me laugh one day and not the next

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

My cat shoving her paw under my door because she heard me quietly singing

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Not really? Like I miss you but I usually do so?

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

It depends on what they did/want a second chance about

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

It was my brother so no not really

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I don’t have feelings for anyone right now, I’m trying to figure myself out before I worry about that

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

I haven’t been drinking it a lot because I’m actually kind of taking care of myself and paying attention to a diet lately

34. Listening to?

Waltz Op. 64 No. 2- Chopin (because it’s in the ost playlist for a fanfic I like)

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

I do in sketchbooks or randomly on my walls if I don’t have paper or my phone

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

I don’t know who the last person I kissed is so no?

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not really. It seems like it’s more based on appearance than anything

38. Who did you last call?

I think you?

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Definitely you, we were dancing in the car a bit ago

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

I’m not sure since I don’t know who it was

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Oh god probably some time last fall?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Yup

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I’ve embarrassed myself in front of a crush more times than I haven’t

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don’t tan at all if I can help it

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

I don’t think so, I think I was done bitching about sai a couple hours before I actually fell asleep

47. Who was the last person to call you?

I think my mum… She decided she needed to call me instead of texting me and scared me because my ringer was on

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Really quietly because there’s always someone here but yea. It’s honestly more of a performance tbh

49. Do you dance in the car?

Not wildly, but it depends on the song

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Yup. You need to remind me to let you try mine btw

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

At last year’s Lions convention I think

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Sometimes, but they’re nice

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Hell yea it is. I have more than one house to get ready for Christmas

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

I literally had those for supper tonight… One of my favourite things tbh

55. Favourite type of fruit pie?

I don’t like fruit pie all that much but I don’t dislike apple pie as much. As long as it’s drowning in caramel and warm

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

The only ones I definitely remember are figure skater, astronaut, astronomer, and palaeontologist

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Oh yea

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Literally more often than not I do

59. Take a vitamin daily?

No but I should be

60. Wear slippers?

Usually only if I’m sick

61. Wear a bath robe?

Not often tbh

62. What do you wear to bed?

Sometimes the clothes from that day, but usually boxers and a shirt or nothing, depends how much I can get off

63. First concert?

I’ve never been to one oops

64. Wal-Mart, Target, or Kmart?

Target was always the best when I was in the states for competitions but I haven’t been in ages so Wal-Mart I guess?

65. Nike or Adidas?

Nike because I like the name more. I don’t even really know what these brands make

66. Cheetos or Fritos?

Cheetossss. That’s how I corral my little cousins

67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds?

Sunflower seeds if they’re not too much work

68. Favourite Taylor Swift song?

Bad Blood or Shake it Off

69. Ever take dance lessons?

I took ballet and tap when I was younger. I was kind of thinking about starting ballet again because I like it and it’ll help with skating

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Nope, I don’t even entirely know what I’ll be doing

71. Can you curl your tongue?

I can now. I couldn’t until I was like, 13 for some reason

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Never been in one

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

My cat touched my nose with her paw and closed her eyes and purred the other day so yea

74. What is your favourite book?

I guess Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke because I always go back to it and it doesn’t get boring to me. I feel so bad because my favourites are definitely Harry Potter or Artemis Fowl but not a specific one, just the entire series really

75. Do you study better with or without music?

I never studied at all because that was always a guarantee that I’d screw up the test/exam

76. Regularly burn incense?

I wish, but my mum gets huge headaches from smells

77. Ever been in love?

More than I’d like to admit or think about tbh

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Maybe Panic! at the Disco, but I’ve heard that the tour Adam Lambert has been doing with Queen is good too. And it’s Adam

79. What was the last concert you saw?

I’ve never been to one

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?

Usually I’d prefer tea but sometimes I need the higher boost from coffee

82. Favourite type of cookie?

I really like these double chocolate ones my grandma makes. They’re so bad for you but they taste really nice and they’re super soft and gooey

83. Can you swim well?

I think pretty decently, but it’s not impressive or anything. I don’t like being in the water anyway

84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yup. But I have to hold my nose if I’m diving into water because of my piercing

85. Are you patient?

It depends what I’m supposed to be patient about but usually I am

86. DJ or band at a wedding?

DJ, they usually have a nicer music selection

87. Ever won a contest?

Competition yes, but I’m not sure about a contest

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Nope

89. Which are better, black or green olives?

I just got back onto olives and I only had green ones so I’ll say those

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

It’s fine as long as you’re careful. I’d be such a hypocrite if I said something against it omg

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Family/living room. Or a study

92. Do you want to get married?

It’s not off the table, but I’m not overly concerned about it at this point

I hope you appreciate that this took me 2 hours man I’m dying