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ilovelifeandiwanttotalkaboutit · 1 year ago

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Ryan Tedder Imagine:

🌶️ Under The Sheets: Ryan Tedder x Reader Insert

Summary: You're a new musician and Ryan offers you help on releasing your album when he hears your talent. He brings you on a little vacation to a private cabin in the middle of the snowy woods, and Ryan finds you awake in the middle of the night, which leads to a deep chat and something deeper: enjoy ;)

Warnings: Minors dni or I'll smack the lips off you, age gap (you're 23 and Ryan is 44), loss of virginity, unprotected sex, oral female receiving, missionary PIV, a lil vertical doggy action (no clue what the position would be called honestly). Also, there are mentions of previous emotional relationship abuse.

Word Count: 13,222

A/N: Just like in my previous imagines where I have to take Ryan's beautiful wife Genevieve out of the equation, I just want to note that I love her and the issues I write are purely for this fictional use <3

A/N 2: Also, this imagine is a request that was made originally over on Wattpad, and I just want to say sorry this took me like eight months, but I hope it's good lmaoo

Link to Ryan Tedder Masterlist

A piping hot cup of tea sits on my lap, burning well into the skin of my palms. I have a slight tremble to my fingers, but I'm just sitting. The house is quiet and dark, and only the warm lamp beside me lights an aura around my body that's curled up on the couch. I bring the mug up to my lips and blow into it with a small sigh, trying to easy my body into calming down. Just when I thought I had done all this successfully in the quiet, I heard a door down the hallway open. Then, there was the sound of gentle feet shuffling.

I looked up, almost a little guilty. A little sluggishly, Ryan came around the corner of the hallway and peeked into the living room where I was sitting. I swallowed hard and gripped my mug a little tighter.

"Hi... sorry," I say quietly, seeing him rub one of his eyes with his palm. "Did I wake you up?"

"Mm," he gave a small grunt, leaning against the wall a moment with his shoulder. His voice was clouded with sleep and his words sort of slurred together as he formed the sentence. "What're you doin'?"

I glanced down at my mug for a moment, not really sure what to say. It's been an eventful week to say the least. I was a young musician. Well, wannabe musician, and I was twenty three years old. I had been trying to find my break into the industry, but when my manager called me a couple months ago and told me Ryan freaking Tedder had listened to my demos and wanted to help me out, I nearly passed out. After meeting with me in LA when he had an afternoon free, he took me out to this beautiful house he has access to in the middle of nowhere as a getaway to really get to know me and work together on some songs.

And now, two days into the week-long trip, Ryan was standing in front of me, all squinty and sleepy, but still looking concerned.

"Um," I muttered, gazing back up at him nervously and gesturing at my mug. "I wanted tea."

"You... wanted tea," Ryan stated, sighing a little and coming off the wall to enter the living room more.

"Mhm," I hummed, still obviously not looking convincing enough.

Ryan sat down beside me on the couch with a small sigh, looking over at me. I stared into his eyes for a moment before averting back towards my lap. He could definitely tell I was trembling a little bit. He gave a slight inhale and I watched as he brought a caring hand towards me, wrapping over one of mine.

"You're shaking," he observed in a soft tone. Then, after one of his fingers had touched the mug of her hot tea, he flinched and he quickly took the mug from my hands. "And you're probably burning your hands."

I watched him set the mug down on the coffee table and look back at me. He looked much more awake now.

He said my name softly, taking my hands in his, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on my palms, "What's going on?"

I frowned a little, glancing down at the motions his fingers were doing on my heated hands. I didn't really know what to tell him.

"Nothing," I insisted, glancing back up at him. I could tell that Ryan didn't believe me at all. He had that look on his face; the slight frown and his serious eyes that held concern.

He just muttered, "Please?"

I sat there for a moment. I glanced back down towards our hands, where his long fingers were curled around mine. I began to nervously bite at the inside of my cheek before I said quietly, "I'm alright."

Ryan just sighed a little bit and he started saying, "I know my offer is a lot, and it's probably stressing you out. I'd imagine it felt like your world is crumbling down because things are working out - I'm happy to take this chance on you. Your demos were absolutely amazing, and getting to know and working with you now has proven your talent to me even more--"

"It's not that I'm stressed out," I said, looking over at him.

Ryan stopped talking for a moment. He squeezed my hands a tad and leaned in closer to me, "Then, please, tell me what's going on. What's got you up in the middle of the night?"

I chewed my inner cheek a little more with reluctance, almost going to cringe at my next words. If Ryan really wanted to know, then I guess I had no choice but to tell him. He deserved to know if it was really bothering him this much.

"I get nightmares sometimes," I decide to say simply. I paired the phrase with a tiny shrug. "It's really no big deal."

Ryan seemed a bit relieved that it was something as silly as a nightmare; I watched his shoulders visibly relax.

"Oh," he said quietly, taking a moment to glance back down at her hands. "Just a nightmare, huh?"

I could see myself getting into the clear without talking about it and I nodded. "Just a nightmare."

Ryan seemed to be a little more satisfied, but not enough to my liking. He nodded slightly and asked, "Can I ask you what it was about?"

I'm sure my expression fell.

"Or not," Ryan said immediately with a comforting tone. He released his gentle hold on my hands with one, and I see him bring his fingers to my hair to brush it aside. The action felt so bizarre. It felt nice, of course, but the fact that it was coming from him made my cheeks feel hot.

Ryan tilted his head a bit as he brought his palm softly on my cheek in cupping it for a moment. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm not going to make you."

With my face still hot, I avert my eyes and nod a little bit. I felt so internally confused. I set my gaze back over to my cup of tea on the coffee table in front of us.

Ryan was still holding my hand, his other I could feel on my upper back, rubbing in slow easy circles. I felt like he could feel my heart beating. To me, it sounded ten times louder than normal. It was pulsing in my eardrums, and I could feel it pounding in my throat. For a second, I almost felt like I could be sick.

When Ryan softly says my name, my eyes dart to look over at him. His gaze was soft, and with the warm lighting from the lamp, his blue eyes had an orange glow in them. I watched him carefully, still feeling my heart in my head. He looked like he wanted to say something. I watched as he leaned in a little bit before blinking and pausing.

Ryan cleared his throat a little bit and he straightened back up. He gave my hand a little squeeze before he let go. He glanced over at the steaming cup of tea too. Only a moment later, he stood and he said, "Um, I guess I should get back to bed then. You're sure you're okay?"

I nodded slightly and felt my mouth going a bit dry, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Seeming satisfied with that answer, I watched Ryan straighten his shirt before he started to walk away back towards the hallway. Before he went around the corner, he paused and turned to say, "By the way... Please be more forgiving with yourself," He paused and smiled a little bit. "Whatever you've got going on, I'm here to support you, alright?"

I just worked a tiny smile back on my face and I nodded a bit, "Right."

Ryan turned and disappeared back down the hallway quietly. I sat on the couch for a long moment. I felt like I could breathe again at that moment. I glanced back down at my mug, pursing my lips as I picked it up by the handle and blew on it. After taking the tiniest sip and nearly burning my tongue, I could hear Ryan's footsteps coming back down the hall.

I blinked and looked up from my mug, still holding it by my lips. Ryan came back from the hallway and he immediately stepped towards me with purpose. I was about to ask him what he was doing, then he sat back down next to me on the couch and reached for my mug. Ryan took the mug from my hands and set it back on the coffee table before he took each side of my face and leaned into me. Ryan's palms pressed lightly against my cheeks as he came closer quickly.

Within seconds, before I could even think, his lips were on mine. His kiss was gentle, but powerful. I felt my heart race and I blinked in disbelief, seeing his shut eyes so close to me. I fluttered my eyes shut for only a moment before he backed away.

When I looked at him, he was still holding my face, looking serious in trying to gauge my reaction. I don't even know what my reaction was. I was just in a state of shock, and I stared at him.

When I finally found my voice, it sounded a bit raspy and not like me, "Why... Why did you--"

"I really like you," Ryan admitted. "I really, really like you."

I was staring at him. I felt almost a little embarrassed that he had kissed me.

Ryan sighed a bit and he took his palms away from my face slowly, "I know I'm a lot older than you, but..."

I thought for a moment. Ryan was forty four and I was only twenty three. Plus, there was an even bigger problem:

"You're married," I say suddenly, looking at him and already feeling the hole of guilt start to grow inside of me.

Ryan gazed back at her with wide eyes and said, "Well, hold on--"

"I'm twenty three, and you have a wife--"

"A wife that's divorcing me," Ryan interrupted her, giving her a look of slight desperation, "Please, just listen to me and try to understand?"

I could still feel the guilt in me and in my throat, but I swallowed it down. If what he was saying was true, and Ryan's wife was really divorcing him, then... did that mean that kissing him was okay? I kept quiet and let him explain.

"Thank you," Ryan said, sighing a little with relief, "Look... Gen and I have been married a long time. Nothing really happened - we've just grown apart. My music career has always been hard on her, and I've known that. It got harder when we had kids. Lately," Ryan pauses as if he was trying to find the right words, "we've just decided that it would be easier on us if we weren't exactly committed to each other anymore. We still love each other, and everything is okay, but..." Ryan gave me a soft gaze, "You understand?"

I had listened to the whole story and didn't really know what to think. I felt like my brain was still short circuiting from that kiss he gave me.

I found it within myself to nod gently and mutter, "Yeah."

Ryan seemed a little more relaxed now. I watched the tension ease in his shoulders as he took each of my hands in his. His thumbs traced my palms as he softly said, "Good. Thank you."

There was an awkward pause. During it, the room felt stuffy. I could feel my heart racing a little still and I glanced down at our hands to avoid looking at his face. My eyes traced his long tanned fingers and saw how they curled with mine.

While I was losing myself for a moment, he said my name in a soft tone and it made me look at him. He had a small smile about him as he brought some of his fingers up to brush my hair behind my ear. He asked quietly, "Is what I did okay? Was the kiss okay?"

I gazed nervously between his eyes, my voice passing almost as a whisper between my parted lips, "I think so."

Ryan had a small amused smile about him as he clarified, "You think so?"

I felt my cheeks grow warm and my mouth grow a bit dry. "I wasn't expecting it."

Ryan tilted his head a bit and had his blue eyes on me. His fingers moved from my hair to weave into it, caressing the back of my neck. I was sure he could feel my quickening pulse against his fingers. He leaned in a bit closer and breathed out, "Well... How about if you expect it this time?"

I felt like I was breathing deeper as I watched him come closer this time. As if he had his own gravitational pull that was strong enough to affect me, I leaned in to him too. He guided me, and my eyes shut as our lips touched once more.

His hold on me made me feel warm, and his lips on mine made me feel even hotter. I could feel his short facial hair brushing against my chin and upper lip as he kissed me. His lips were warm and soft, giving me a sweet but deep kiss that made me feel like my breath was leaving me. With one hand on the back of my neck, his other was holding my hands. I drew a slight breath and kissed him back.

For what I thought was going to be a shorter kiss was a bit of a longer one. Ryan pressed his lips against mine once more, letting out a gentle sigh with a touch of vocal tone. It was like he was satisfied.

When he pulled away once more, I could still feel my cheeks defying me as they turned hot. We held each other's gaze. Ryan gave me a soft smile, his hand behind my neck and slipping forward to caress my cheek.

"So," he sighed gently, his other hand coming up to caress the other side of my face. I was held in his light grasp and that was that. Ryan looked between my eyes before at my lips for a moment, finally whispering, "I've got some serious feelings for you."

I couldn't help but feel the insecurities creeping up on me. My next inquiry was a bit stupid, but I couldn't stop myself as I asked, "Why?"

Ryan found me amusing and tilted his head with a little smile, "Why?"

I felt myself grow a bit embarrassed. Ryan had only chuckled and ran his thumbs over my cheekbones before he leaned in and placed a light and short kiss on my lips again. While he remained about six inches away from my face, he said in a soft voice, "Because you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

I wasn't so sure how true that was.

Ryan leaned a little closer and was looking at my lips, whispering, "Why don't you believe me?"

I swallowed hard. I glanced up at his eyes before his lips. I drew in a soft breath and whispered back with hesitation, "I just don't."

Ryan took a moment before looking back into my eyes. He was so close, and I could practically visualize his thoughts forming as I could read it in his blue eyes. He leaned in closer to me and kissed my lips lightly again. The tension was palpable.

He seemed to be contemplating something in these moments. Ryan was staring at my mouth. He finally sighed and backed away a bit, looking at me seriously in my eyes. He dampened his lips and drew an inhale before he said, "All I want you to know is that I really like you. I have liked you since I met you and I don't..." He paused and said, "I don't want to take my feelings for you lightly.

"I understand that this is complicated," Ryan continued with a reassuring tone, "and right now, I'm going to go back to bed in my own room and try and get some sleep. I'll leave you to think, but just know," he gazed seriously into my eyes, "I'm ready for whatever it is you want to do, whether it's for me or against me. And regardless of what you say or feel, I still want to help you with that album of yours - that is separate from what we have going on here."

After finishing what he said, he took my hands in his and raised them to his lips. He placed a kiss on my knuckles warmly before giving me a soft smile and getting up. As he started stepping away, he turned to look at me from the hallway entrance like before, and he kindly said, "Goodnight."

I blinked and gently responded, "Goodnight."

When Ryan disappeared down the hall again and I heard him enter his room for real this time, I felt a deep breath come through me. I sat there in the living room for what felt like a while. I didn't even drink my tea. I just sat there. I had so many thoughts swirling through my mind that it almost made me feel sick. I wanted to make sense of it and I wanted to do the right thing, but I didn't know what the right thing was. How did Ryan make me feel?

It was about another twenty minutes I sat there like I was making a life changing decision before I stood up. My mind carried me towards Ryan's door. I knew Ryan snored, but I currently didn't hear any. I tapped lightly on the door as a sort of knock before I twisted the knob and let myself in.

As I suspected, Ryan was awake. Hearing the door open and my tiny footsteps, his head lifted from his pillow. He sat up immediately, but he didn't say a word.

I quietly shut the door behind me and I came and sat on his bedside. As I sat, Ryan gently reached out and his fingertips were grazing my elbow in a caress. I hadn't thought about how I was going to word this, but the words came out quietly, "I'm sort of messed up in the whole relationship department."

Ryan considered my words for a moment before responding, "What does that mean?"

I swallowed hard and I knew I needed to explain now. I spoke gently, "I got out of an abusive relationship about five months ago. It wasn't good and it took me way too long to realize that the guy was never going to change and that I didn't have to deal with it."

Ryan was quiet for a while. His hand was still gently on my arm, rubbing in a supportive manner. His tone was easy as he muttered, "You know... I would never do any of that to you, right?" Then he paused and sounded hurt, "Oh my God, but I did though. I just walked right up and kissed you. I'm so sorry, I probably scared you. I didn't know--"

"My ex wasn't physically abusive like that, Ryan. It's okay," I tell him quietly. Ryan sighed a bit and in the dark, I could see him bring a hand up to rub his eyes a little. I sigh inwardly and explained, "He was more verbally and emotionally manipulative. He wouldn't really let me touch him or anything and he wouldn't even..."

I could feel the humiliation rising up on my skin in little tingles.

"He wouldn't even, what?" Ryan asked softly,

"He wouldn't even have sex with me."

The silence that fell after I said that gave me sickening butterflies. I had my hands clasped in my lap and felt like I had no clue what I was doing and that coming in here to explain this was some sort of mistake. I had no idea what Ryan wanted with me, and like he said earlier, this was complicated.

Ryan sat still for a while, his fingers halting movements on my arm.

I swallowed thickly and I said barely, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Ryan asked immediately but in a kind tone. He scooted forward in bed to get closer to me. His hand was now on my upper arm, giving it a light and caring squeeze. "You don't have to apologize to me."

I just thought about it for a moment. "Sorry, I... I just... I don't know."

Ryan had sighed a bit. I could feel his thumb tracing warm little circles on my arm. He finally questioned, "So this guy never let you touch him either? Did I hear that right?"

I nodded a little bit. "It's why I'm so terrible at it."

Ryan tilted his head a bit and he continued lightly touching my arm. We were in the darkness of his room in the quiet. He had the window barely cracked open so the cool snowy winter air was grazing us. Ryan broke the quiet and whispered, "Did I make you uncomfortable by kissing you?"

"No," I say immediately, blinking and looking over at him. "No, you didn't."

I could see the silhouette of Ryan's shoulders relax a bit when I said that. It took him a moment, but he shifted just ever so slightly to me and he murmured, "I want you to kiss me."

I could feel my heart rate pick up and my tongue grow a little dry. I parted my lips and murmured, "What?"

"I want you to kiss me," he repeated gently, his hand coming up to caress my cheek with his warm and borderline intoxicating touch. "I want you to kiss me and I want you to feel me."

"Ryan--"

"But I want you to only if you want to," Ryan adds seriously.

I looked at his figure in the darkness. I thought about it for a moment. Ryan kissed me three times already. He made it pretty clear about what he wants with me. I parted my lips in thought and remembered those kisses. Ryan smelled good; he smelled like subtle clean laundry all the time. Ryan felt good; his lips were soft and his touch was gentle but passionate in its own right. Ryan simply was good; and I knew he cared about me. I had seen it every day since I met him.

I found myself leaning towards him until I could feel his breath fanning my face. Our noses grazed, and we just sat there for a moment. We hovered near each other, and I could feel him resisting leaning into me more.

After another breath, I leaned into him all the way and pressed my lips against his. He sighed and immediately kissed me back, brushing my hair back and holding my face closer to him. His lips were soft and warm and he held me so carefully. I could feel my heart racing in my chest and a warm and fuzzy feeling spreading over my body that I hadn't felt in a long time.

Ryan continued to kiss me. His lips gently pressed against mine time and time again, and he relaxed into me. I felt one of his hands leave my jaw to press against the flat of my back and pull me a bit closer. I scooted on the bed and my thigh touched his.

My hands were trembling a bit due to nerves and I kept them on my lap. Ryan noticed and he parted the kiss finally, the pair of us breathless. He hovered near mine, whispering, "Touch me."

I felt my heart beating wildly in my throat, and it was making me so nervous. I felt a shiver go up my spine and I just froze. Ryan smiled gently and he reached down to carefully curl his fingers over mine. He touched my hands and he held them up.

"It's okay," he told me softly, bringing my hands up and putting them right up against his chest. He wasn't sleeping with a shirt on, and my heart increased in speed as I felt his hot and slightly hairy chest against my palms. Ryan chuckled a bit at my reaction and he repeated, "It's okay."

I felt my face heat up greatly.

Ryan leaned back in and kissed me again. I could feel his lips pushing up against mine with a bit more force this time. Ryan kept my hands on his chest, moving them to feel him. I had never felt so flustered.

Ryan could sense how nervous I was being and he parted our lips once more. He brought one hand to my cheek and said, "Is this too much?"

I shook my head carefully and said through my racing heart, "I want to, Ryan, I just don't know what I'm doing."

"You want to... what?" Ryan asked quietly, brushing some of my hair back.

I felt like my heart was going to burst. I felt short of breath and like my lungs weren't doing their job. I mustered out, "I-I want to do it."

Ryan drew a small breath, and I could tell that he was a little surprised by my admission. He's very gently rubbed my hands that were still lightly pressed to his bare chest and he nodded a bit, "You really want to?"

I nodded carefully and concisely. If I was going to do this, then I wanted to do it right. I knew Ryan would be careful. I know he would give me that experience because I knew now that he cared for me like that. Over the past few weeks, he has shown more care for me than my ex ever did in several years.

I drew a shaky breath and I confessed, "Ryan, I really like you too."

Ryan's eyes widened a bit in the dark and a soft smile rose on his features. "You do?"

I nodded and responded in a quiet voice, "I do."

Ryan gave a small nervous chuckle. It was something that I had never really heard from him, but I thought it was sweet. Ryan reached his arms around me and pulled me all the way closer to him. My butt slid forward on the bed and my legs still dangled off the side, but I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He held his chin on my shoulder, giving me a warm hug. The subtle, comforting scent of him filled my nostrils as he squeezed me into this nice embrace.

He murmurs next to my ear, "That makes me so glad."

When he pulled away from the hug, he caressed my cheek again. He sighed with content and he couldn't help but say with a subtle care, "It's the middle of the night. Are you sure you want to do this now? I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do."

"No, I'm not tired," I let out a small breath of relief, but I muttered, "I want to."

"Hm," he hummed a bit, sweetly brushing back some of my hair. His voice was soft and easy on the ears as he suggestively whispered one word, "Yeah?"

I could sense my heart literally skip a beat. I dampened my lips in anticipation, imagining the things we could do. I felt like this was a chance. Just like when my manager told me Ryan listened to my demos and wanted to help me out, I felt like I needed this chance.

I spoke into the darkness of the room, "I can't promise I'll be any good."

Ryan couldn't help but let out a light little chuckle. Recognizing I was seriously anxious about it, his laugh faded into a subtle smile and he said, "Hey... If you really want to do this, do you want me to take the lead?"

I felt a sort of sense of relief. I could feel some of the tension in my shoulders elevate, but I didn't sigh with content just yet.

"Um..." I agreed. "That would be nice, yes."

Ryan grinned for a moment, his hands like two hot surfaces on my lower back. He gazed between my eyes then down to my lips once before he began, "Before we start, I just want to make sure you're fully comfortable and we're both on the same page," he drew a breath before asking carefully, "Since your ex didn't have sex with you does that mean it's been... a while?"

I could see him placing his words carefully as if I'd shatter if they were any different. I blinked and my fingers were grazing his tattooed arms. It was a little embarrassing to put it bluntly in words, so I could only say it softly, "It's been never."

There was a pause in the air.

"You're a virgin?"

I bit my tongue a little bit. I could feel my cheeks turn rosy as I couldn't help but speak a self-deprecating comment, "I know. Sad at twenty three years old, isn't it?"

Ryan couldn't help but crack a small smile, "It's not sad. It just makes me wish you got to experience more. You're young. These are your experimental years."

I gazed over at him and inquired with an easy tone, "Then, is that what you think this is for me?"

Ryan has a certain look wash over him, almost one of hurt. He took my hands and he said, "Hey, hey... What we're doing isn't experimenting. That's..." He drew a sigh and shook his head a bit before asking, "Is that what this is to you?"

"No, it's not," I frowned a bit and I told him, "Sorry, I didn't mean that in a shitty way."

"Yeah, alright," Ryan gives a ghost of a smile. After a few moments, he softly admitted, "I told you earlier and I'll say it again; I really like you. I've felt a lot with you these past few weeks."

His palms were now on my outer thighs, gently rubbing up and down nice and slow. I gazed at him before saying in a hush, "Can you show me?"

"I would love to," Ryan smiled and he leaned into me, kissing me lightly. He caressed my cheek once again as he pulled away and he said, "I'm gonna take it slow, alright? And communication is important. I want you to talk to me too."

I could feel my heart rate climbing a bit as I nodded.

Ryan leaned back into me and kissed me longer, his lips sliding against mine in a passionate fashion. It felt like he was taking my breath away. He scooted me closer to him, easily wrapping his arms around my hips and pulling me up. I gave a gentle sound of surprise against his lips when he brought me onto his lap. He pulled my body onto his, an arm locked around my lower back and his other hand reaching up and twisting into my hair. My heart was racing as I felt his lips part onto mine in our kisses and he was kissing me deeper.

I had my arms wrapped around his bare shoulders tenderly, my lips moving with his. I had my legs perched, my knees on the mattress on either side of his thighs. Ryan started to lay back on the bed, and he caressed the back of my neck to bring me with him. My hands came forward to rest on his chest to hold myself up.

I felt Ryan start to smile against me as he moves both his hands onto my back. Ryan starts to push himself up and onto his side, flipping us over. My hair sprawled on the pillow underneath me, and my legs are spread. I feel the warmth, the weight, and the feel of his body on mine, and it's enough to make my heart race.

As he's on top of me, Ryan's lips part again in the midst of the kiss and I can feel the tip of his tongue sensually slide across my bottom lip. A feel a fire of goosebumps tingling my whole body and I gently part my lips too. As his tongue enters my mouth at first and gives me a taste, Ryan makes a quiet groan.

A warmth spreads across my face and I find myself naturally caressing his jaw on either side. His tongue entered my mouth and at first, I didn't really know what to do. I tried being as careful as possible and didn't want to do anything stupid to ruin this.

After everything that we had talked about and done - the long road trip out of LA and sitting together with our laptops and at the keyboard, this was actually happening. We were really in bed together, heavily kissing right against the mattress like we belonged there.

Ryan smiled and broke the kiss, and gave a light chuckle. He caressed the side of my face, "You're cute, you know."

I blushed, not really sure what to say. I felt like my body and part of my mind were numb to him. There was a single part of my brain though that was telling me something. It was an itchy kind of feeling.

"Ryan," I murmured as he started kissing down my neck. His lips were so soft and warm, and it was making me feel all hot. His hair tickled my cheek.

"Hm?" Ryan hummed a bit, his voice making the sensitive skin on my neck vibrate a bit as he kissed it.

My eyes fluttered and I whispered, "Can you guide my hands?"

I can feel Ryan smile slightly against my neck. His lips slid along the skin, placing light kisses of fire in their wake. I felt a fluttery feeling spread across my whole body. Ryan shifted forward a little bit and spread my legs wider, making my heart skip a beat. He put his weight on his knees, his lips leaving my neck as he sat more upright. I lay there before him, feeling the heat splay over my face as he gazed down at me.

Ryan took my hands in his gentle and warm grasp, but instead of bringing them closer to him, he put them on me. He made me feel my stomach over my shirt, pressing my palms onto myself. I stared bashfully up at him as he brought my own touch over my breasts, right on top of my pajama shirt. My breath caught as his large hands covered mine and he squeezed, making me squeeze my own breasts.

I saw Ryan through the darkness get a satisfied little smirk as he told me, "Not what you expected me to do?"

I let out a slightly shaky breath, a nervous smile spreading on my lips as I responded, "Not really, no."

"Hm," Ryan took his hands off mine. He leaned back down and gave me a kiss before he shifted his body down. Ryan moved lower and he lifted my shirt a little bit, placing a kiss on my bare tummy.

I was starting to feel a little nervous. This was really going into uncharted territory. I tilted my head a little bit to watch him place these gentle kisses along the soft skin of my stomach.

He could feel me tensing slightly, and he pulled back a smidge to look up at me. Ryan smiled a little bit and he took my left hand this time, moving it to my stomach. He kept his heavy gaze on me as he slowly started sliding my hand further up my body, our fingertips nudging my shirt as we went. Then, he brought my hand over my bare breast. My eyes were flickering between his, and he smiled and said, "There's nothing to be afraid of. Do you feel yourself? Do you like what you feel?"

I gave a tiny smile and I muttered, "Sorry, yeah."

Ryan's gaze softened and he reassured me, "You don't have to apologize to me."

Ryan was squeezing and kneading my hand that was over my breast, just teasing the touch that would eventually be his and his alone. I dampened my lips a little and watched him as he murmured, "Can I take off your shirt?"

My heart thudded in my chest, but I knew I needed to. I nodded a little.

"Words, sweetheart," Ryan told me in a low voice as he placed a slow kiss right next to my belly button. "Use them."

I could feel my heart jump at his voice and I nodded once more and said, "Yes, you can take off my shirt."

Ryan smiled and moved to sit back up. He took his hand off of me and he told me, "Good girl."

A heavy blush formed on my cheeks as Ryan got on his knees once more between my spread legs. He was upright as he took the bottom of my shirt and he began to pick it up. I lifted my arms to help, sitting up a little too. Since it was the middle of the night and I was in my pajamas, I wasn't wearing a bra. I relaxed back against the bed, feeling a little flustered. I'd never taken off my shirt in front of anyone before except the doctor. My boyfriend never got this far with me, and he never wanted me to.

Ryan hovered above me, balancing on one arm again as he slowly ran his hand down my body. I shivered a little as his fingertips traced my collarbone and downwards through the valley of my breasts. His touch grew lighter as he grazed it towards my left breast. I was watching his face. I saw his expression soften into one of appreciation. The tips of his fingers were creating little goosebumps as he slowly brought them over my breast. A shiver threatened my body as the buds of my breasts grew harder.

His eyes met mine once again and he whispered, "You're gorgeous, you know that?"

I felt a blush rise on my cheeks, which made Ryan chuckle. He leaned into me again and placed his lips onto mine. I kissed him back, feeling a bit of an overload of stimulation as I tried to focus on both the kiss, and the fact that his hand was now lightly squeezing my breast.

I felt my eyes fluttering open once more when he broke the kiss. He started gently kissing down my neck, the soft feeling of his lips making my heart race. He kissed my throat slowly, his lips and tongue lightly teasing my collarbone. My fingers grasped his tattooed arms, feeling a certain tingling in my body when he moved his lips lower. Ryan had smirked a little against my skin as he squeezed my left breast, simultaneously swirling his tongue around the hard bud. My lips parted and my breath grew deeper as Ryan opened his mouth and passionately sucked my nipple into his mouth. I immediately shut my mouth as I almost felt a noise urge to escape me. I swallowed it down but felt breathless in his hold.

"Mm..." Ryan moaned a little bit, caressing my ribs as he lifted his head. He smiled and gazed up at me, his fingertips just teasing my breasts. His voice was smooth as he said, "How are you feeling right now?"

I felt all flushed in the face and body. It was unreal having him laying right between my legs, touching me like he was. I gave him a slight nod, looking between his eyes.

His fingertips paused and he quirked a brow. Then, I remembered his advice from earlier: Words, sweetheart.

"I'm good," I told him in a slight murmur.

Ryan's smile grew a bit and he dampened his lips, his eyes trailing over my body once more. He still laid there, his fingers around the underside of my breasts. He tilted his head slightly and said to me, "Can I continue a little further?"

My breath felt deep and even. An inhale passed my parted lips before I gently asked, "What else do you want to do?"

Ryan came up and pressed his lips against mine in a hot kiss. My eyes fluttered shut and I could feel my heart literally skip a beat. With the sound and feeling of the kiss lingering, I felt completely mind-fuzzy as he lean towards my ear. I felt his hot breath fan right against it as he kissed my earlobe, making me shiver and want me to tighten me legs against him. I refrained from doing so, resulting in a flustered blush spread across my face.

"I want to do a lot of things," Ryan muttered into my ear, placing a light kiss on it before he backed away just to look at me. He balanced himself on one elbow, using his other hand to graze my body. His touch left hot goosebumps on my skin. He looked into my eyes as his fingers moved down the valley of my breasts again, down my tummy, then lower.

My gaze flickered between his with intensity of the moment. His touch grew lighter as if to tread lightly as he hovered around the tie of my sweatpants. Ryan then gave me a subtle smile as he says, "I want to do things that your ex never did for you."

I felt yet another tick of warmth spread around my abdomen, and there was a split second where I wondered if this was how it was meant to be. The want to be intimate with someone. The desire to really let Ryan take off my clothes to do whatever he pleased. While it made me nervous, I'd found that it also made me excited.

I gave him a soft nod before whispering, "Go ahead."

Receiving the green light, Ryan smiled and leaned back in towards my lips. Before he leaned all the way, he hovered. As his fingers began pulling on the tie of my sweatpants, undoing it, he whispered right near my mouth one demand: "Kiss me."

I leaned in the rest of the way and pressed my lips softly against his. He took the kiss away with passion, breaking away to sit up and start taking off my sweatpants. I felt so exposed as he took them carefully off me, leaving me in only my underwear. As he took them off, he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on my calf. He brought his fingers to his sweatpants and he started taking them down too, also leaving him in only his boxer-briefs. This made my heart race too.

"Just so we're even," he says with a cute smile, clearing trying to ease my nerves with his tone. He tossed the sweats away once he had them off. He places his hands on my knees, gently spreading my legs. I chewed on my inner lip, feeling a little more vulnerable now. Ryan grinned and he traced his hands lightly on my thighs, saying in an admired praise, "Look at you..."

Seeing how blushy and flustered I got when he said that, he continued caressing my legs, looking me in the eyes as he said reassuringly, "I can go slower if you want me to. Just say the word, and I'll do it."

I gazed between his eyes, feeling an odd sense of care from his words. I found myself shaking my head a little bit and saying, "I'm alright."

"You're sure?" Ryan quirked a brow, smiling a little bit as he ran his hands smoothly down my knees and onto my thighs, rubbing them closer to my underwear.

I felt my heart race and I swallowed nervously, glancing up at him. My fingers fiddled with one another as a coping mechanism over my stomach.

"I... Um..." I stammered, watching him carefully.

Ryan rubbed his thumbs barely along the line of my underwear before he pushed his hands back up to my thighs. He gave them a light squeeze before he scooted closer, leaning back over me. "There's plenty of things I'd like to do, but I don't want to unless you're comfortable."

I don't know quite what came over me, but visions sort of came to mind when he said this. All of said visions included me and Ryan in quite some passionately compromising positions. I felt flustered still, but I told him, "Try them."

Ryan smiled gently and he said, "Really?"

"Mhm," I nodded immediately, my eyes flickering between his eyes and his hands. I watched him as he sat up for only a moment, scooting himself further down the bed. The sheets bunched up around his feet, pushing them down further. Ryan got down on his elbows and his positioning made me feel an incredible amount of anticipation. He laid on his stomach, his hands touched my thighs again to feel the smooth skin.

I watched as Ryan placed his palms under my thighs to hold them up as he started placing kisses on them. I feel my mouth grow dry and my breath hitch at the feeling of his lips and tongue and short facial hair on my bare skin. I shiver a little bit, my legs twitching subtly at the thought of what was to come. All these touches and kisses to my thighs felt really nice, but it was still making me a little anxious.

My heart fluttered in my chest as he softly kissed my inner thighs slowly, his eyes making contact with mine as he did so. Seeing what it was doing to me, he smiled and he lifted his head a little. His thumbs remained petting slow little, antagonizing circles on my skin. He asked in a gentle voice, "Is this alright?"

My breath felt like it was the only thing I could focus on in that moment, but somehow, I managed to say, "Yeah."

Ryan chuckled gently and he brought his hand up and slowly felt the top of my stomach, "You sure? You seem very flustered."

A nervous smile spread on my lips as I told him, "I've just never done this."

"It should feel good," Ryan said in an easy voice, pressing another light kiss to one of my thighs. His hand on my stomach came a little lower to rest on the band of my underwear to hold me, but he didn't push his fingers any further than that. "I want to make you feel good. Right now, you're my priority."

I felt my heart tingle a little when he said that. I'd never really had that reassurance before that someone could really care for me.

"I'll take this nice and slow," Ryan spoke with care, his fingertips gently moving underneath the elastic of my underwear. He paused, his eyes meeting mine. "Can I take these off?"

"Yeah, okay," I murmured, raising my hips to aid him.

My heart beat deep within my chest when he slowly slid my underwear down my legs. He sat back up on his knees as he started taking them off, watching me with a gentle smile as I became naked on the bed. In the dim moonlight coming in from the window, he could see my naked form. He seemed to give a satisfied smile as he sat there above me. He looked down at me. I could feel the cool air coming in through the window, creating that cold atmosphere that rose goosebumps over my skin. Ryan's hands smoothly moved down my knees before he slowly spread my legs apart.

Just as I was starting to feel a little bashful, he breathed out, "You're beautiful."

With the way he said it, I couldn't help but believe him.

Ryan moved lower onto my body, his arms on either side of me as he pressed his lips right back against mine. Our lips participated in a very passionate kiss before he started moving down my jaw and towards my neck. I caressed his head towards me, feeling the softness of his hair between my fingers. He gently kept his body up against mine, his hand on my waist as he started slowly kissing my neck. There was a lot going on at once that I wasn't used to, but it felt like heaven.

Ryan lips latch onto a soft part of my neck, and it made butterflies absolutely burst in my tummy. I shut my eyes and a little sigh passed by my lips. As he was busy making little marks on my neck, I could feel his hand slowly moving on top of my waist and starting to move down to my hip. I breathed deeply as his fingertips started moving onto my abdomen, making me inhale suddenly.

He leaned up into my ear, his lips kissing my earlobe before he quietly murmured, "May I touch you?"

When he asked for my official permission, I got chills over my body as I whispered, "Yes."

I was aching so badly for something, feeling my body getting so worked up over everything that he's done for me so far. When his fingers are very gently touching my slit, he gives a hum of approval into my neck.

He places a hot kiss against the skin right under my ear before muttering, "You're so wet for me, princess."

My body felt like it wasn't mine for a moment as he calls me that. I lie as still as I can under him, but I can also feel my muscles naturally tensing and twitching at the sensations. He gathered my arousal on his fingers before slowly starting to rub my clit.

My breath immediately hitches and I feel a burning desire for more. I shut my eyes and I had to close my mouth when I could feel an embarrassing sound wanting to work its way out of me.

Ryan raised his head from my neck to give me a gentle look. His blue eyes glanced over my face to watch for my reaction to his touches. I fluttered my eyes open to gaze at him, forcing myself to take a deep breath before something else could happen. A smirk rose on Ryan's lips and he rubbed my clit with a little more pressure now, making my brows twitch and furrow and my thighs clench. At that, he chuckled and took his touch away. He looked down at me and rested his hand on my inner thigh.

"You're holding back," Ryan tells me in a quiet voice, leaning down and peppering little kisses from my jaw, to my cheek, then to my lips once. He pulled away and looked at me fondly, "If this feels good, don't be afraid to act like it. Trust me, I want to hear the cute, little sounds you make."

I feel the warmth of a blush rise on my face, my gaze following him as he starts to move lower on my body. He places kisses down my neck, over one of my breasts, then down my stomach. As he got down between my legs, he kissed one of my thighs while making eye contact with me.

I shiver just a little and I ask, "What are you gonna do?"

He gave me an eager little smile before he said in a gentle voice, "Just close your eyes."

I hesitated for a few moments, breathing deeply. I knew I needed to trust him, and so, for the first time intimately ever, I did. I shut my eyes, trying to lay back and relax.

I could feel his hot breath fan my heat and it made my brows twitch a little. I kept my eyes closed and my hands over my stomach, holding my fingers together to calm myself down. I felt his hands pet my inner thighs, keeping my legs spread. His lips kissed my other thigh once more, a little closer to my center.

"You're being such a good girl for me," he praised quietly, still petting my thighs slowly, "See? Nothing to be afraid of. Are you alright?"

I felt a flush of embarrassment go over my face, but I remained still, "Yes, I'm okay."

"Good, good..." He wavered, placed another few kisses in the inside of my soft thighs. Ryan then got really close. I felt his lips graze my clit, and in that moment, my fingers clenched harder against one another.

Then, in the matter of a second, Ryan pressed his lips and tongue right up against my pussy, making me open my eyes with an unintentional gasp. My eyes shut and clenched around his head and he looked up at me with eager eyes. He smiled against my skin and used his tongue and swirled it perfectly over my clit. The pleasure surged up my spine and it made me squirm.

I suddenly found myself gripping the bed sheets, low and deep sounds that I've never made before escaping my throat. Ryan was making sounds too. His lips sucked at my clit and he was moaning against my skin. His hands perfectly wrapped around my hips.

When I realized that my legs were still relatively tight around his head, I released them. He chuckled once I did so and he came up. He gave me a wide grin and squeezed my hips, "You okay?"

"Oh..." I whispered out, my hands reaching down to lightly graze his, "I-- yeah."

Ryan gave a light little laugh, looking back at my wet pussy in the dark of the room. He shifted back on the mattress and he very gently rubbed his thumb against my clit that made me twitch.

"Mm," he hummed quietly, bringing his fingers lower. He coated his fingers in my juices and he brought them up to his lips. His fingers slipped into his mouth and he groaned, giving me a look and commented, "You're delicious."

I shivered a little bit and I watched him with flushed cheeks. He watched me carefully and leaned closer. Within moments, he opened his mouth and pressed it against my heat again, devouring me. I could feel my toes curl and I let out a soft groan that I didn't want to let escape originally. I felt a bit embarrassed by it.

Ryan smiled and lifted up again, giving his head a little tilt, "I love the sounds you make. Please, don't hold back."

He immediately went back down on me, making the muscles in my body clench. I recognized the feeling of him pushing a single finger of his into me as he gave my clit that perfect amount of attention with his mouth. In that moment, I felt completely his.

I managed to make a low moan, shutting my eyes once more and tilting my head up against the mattress. I never thought I would be this kind of girl. With my ex, I thought I'd remain a virgin forever and I'd never be sexual in any way, shape, or form. But Ryan was proving me wrong.

It nearly made me nervous now.

Nearly.

With the way his mouth was working against my pussy, I felt as if he really wanted to be doing this. He held me closer to him if that was even possible and he ran his tongue and lips enthusiastically over my clit in a continual rhythm. I could feel the pleasure arching up my spine and making me moan.

"Mm, that's it," he whimpers against me, moving his finger slowly in and out. He looks down and watches for a moment, seeming so satisfied in just looking, "I can tell I'm gonna have to stretch you out a little first, sweetheart. You're super tight even around just one of my fingers."

I felt like I was melting into the sheets at the sensation. I grabbed one of my own thighs, my fingers wrapping tightly around it while my nails made little crescent shapes into my skin.

Ryan then looked up at me and a smirk rose onto his lips. I draw in a slight breath when I felt a slight sting and I glanced down. Ryan was slowly pressing a second finger into me. He saw the slight furrow to my brows and he leaned in and gave my clit a slow lick.

"Relax," he whispers, then wrapped his lips around my clit to suck on it in a perfect way.

I let out a slight grunt that made me feel rosy as he managed to get both his fingers inside me. I gritted my teeth slightly at the full feeling. I tried to do as he told me, but it was a little difficult to relax when he was perfectly massaging my little bundle of nerves with his mouth like that.

"I... I can't," I managed to say in a partial cry, feeling my legs tense up and twitch with his lips and tongue against my clit.

"Mmmm," Ryan moaned against my skin, the vibration of his voice against me making my hips shudder. Before I knew it, he fully pressed two of his digits into me, slowly moving them in then out.

It still stung slightly, but once I felt his fingers hitting and rubbing a certain spot inside of me, I could feel myself getting all tingly. It felt almost uncontrollable. Ryan's left hand reached up and held mine comfortably, almost as if to let me know he was there even though I couldn't feel this without him.

My jaw fell slack out of my control and a longer, quiet moan came from my throat. The pleasure was making me lose control of myself. I squeezed Ryan's hand, the other tightly holding the bed sheets. As I could feel myself coming to a peak, it all grew so much more intense. Ryan could see the way I was reacting and he smiled against me, rubbing his tongue in the exact same rhythm and pressure. I felt my body curve and tense up as it all became too much. The best I've ever felt completely washed over every cell in my body and I was left absolutely trembling on the bed.

My thighs threatened to close and Ryan took his fingers out of me before tightly wrapping his tattooed arms around my legs and hips. He sucked on my clit as I finished and groaned against my skin. I gasped and immediately reached down to lace my fingers instinctively in his hair.

The sounds I made were unlike any I'd made before, but the constant and strong stimulation of his mouth was almost too much. Soon, I became too sensitive as my orgasm finished. My fingers were still in his hair and I started to push a little, trying to ease him off of me.

Ryan came off my clit with a solid kiss sound and a little laugh erupted from him as he gazed up at me with twinkling eyes. He still had his arms around my hips, but then he put his hands on my thighs, rubbing them and spreading my legs once more. I was a shuddering mess on the bed. I could feel from the way my body was flushed and exhausted that it took a lot out of me, but it was so exhilarating. I breathed out, feeling my heart race and trying to calm down.

Ryan gave his lips a lick that were slick with my juices, giving me a hot and satisfied hum, "Mm, how was that, princess? Was that okay? How do you feel?"

I propped myself up on my elbows once again, closing my legs a little as he knelt up on the bed to tower over me. I gazed up at him and down his body. He was so lean and perfect; a runner's body with just enough muscle on top to be fit. I blushed a bit as I noticed the very obvious bulge in Ryan's underwear.

"I... Uh," I stammered, taking a moment to try and get my brain up to speed, "Jesus..."

Ryan couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that. He adjusted the elastic on his underwear before sitting back slightly. He gave my knees a little squeeze and smiled down at me, asking with both amusement and care, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I agree immediately, realizing that I was okay. Intimacy has made me so nervous for so long, yet right now, all I can do is want more of it with him. I quirk a slight brow and ask him, "Are we going to do more?"

Ryan loved that answer.

"Yeah, of course," he grinned, crawling over my body and placing a sweet kiss up on my lips. He gazed between my eyes with a soft satisfaction as he inquired, "Would you like to do more?"

"Yeah, I would," I admitted quietly, trying to keep myself from stuttering. I pushed myself up onto my elbows.

Ryan adjusted himself above me, still giving me some room to breathe. He reaches a hand out and cups my cheek with care, his blue eyes searching mine in the dim light of the room. He said quietly and with reassurance, "You don't need to be nervous with me, honey. I'll go nice and slow with this and take good care of you."

Ryan slid us up the bed, wrapping his arm around my waist and around my back. He hoisted us up with a slight breath. I felt my head push up against the pillows and I lifted it to rest on it. Ryan let me relax and he propped himself up with one arm. I laid underneath him, his body between my legs. In the darkness, I watch his eyes observe my face with a tender smile on his own. He brushes his fingers through my hair in a soft motion, keeping the strands from sticking to my hot neck.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers genuinely, saying my name after the fact.

As my heart rate picks up, he leans down and kisses me softly before pulling away. He gets up on his knees one more time, towering over me like he's done a couple times now. He brings his fingers to the elastic of his underwear and asks me gently, "Are you comfortable with me taking these off?"

The nerves spread goosebumps over my skin and make my throat a little tight. I nod my head up and down a little, saying breathlessly, "Yeah."

With a subtle smile, Ryan starts peeling down his underwear. It was very dark in his bedroom, but the pull-down shade he had over his window had an open gap at the bottom that was letting in the cool Winter breeze. The snow reflected the pale moonlight, which allowed for only a little clarity through this darkness.

I glanced down his body, making out all the shapes as he shifted to take off his underwear. As he moved to sit, taking his underwear off his ankles, I catch glimpses of what's to come. His cock had sprung free, and he let out a slight breath as he dropped his final bit of clothing over the side of the bed. As he got back up on the bed above me, I observe with a blush as Ryan wraps his hand around his length, giving himself a few slow strokes. I feel his hand on my thigh, pushing my legs apart. He doesn't make any move closer to me. Yet.

I laid with my hands on my upper stomach, observing with a shy gaze and feeling like I shouldn't try and stare.

"It's alright," Ryan eases, letting go of himself and starting to lean over me. He placed his hands on the mattress, entrapping my body. He presses another slow kiss to my lips, his fingers messing with my hair a little by my shoulders. He mumbles against my lips, "Tell me what you want to do."

I reached up and tentatively caressed the sides of his face, glancing between his blue eyes. I tried to figure out how to say what it was that I wanted.

"Just..." I wavered, pulling him back down to press his lips against mine. I moved my arms to wrap around his body, making him almost lay on top of me. The weight of his body felt really nice against me, and the fact that we were skin-on-skin made my stomach do flips.

Ryan let out a soft groan against me when I pulled him down like that. His soft lips pressed fervently against my own time and time again, his tongue massaging mine. He wrapped his arms around me. For a moment, I could feel his cock against me as he shifted up, and it made me falter slightly. He let out another tiny groan and pulled away from the kiss, telling me with his voice a little hoarse, "I'm not going to start unless you want me to, sweetheart. I promise."

The way he was treating me almost made me emotional. I gave him a tiny nod and ran my fingers through his soft hair, gazing between his eyes. My voice was quiet, and the words found themselves on my tongue seemingly without my brain telling them to say, "You can. You can start."

Ryan's breath was hot against my face and neck as he looked at me and paused, "Really? You're sure?"

My head nodded yes and I caressed his cheek more, feeling his stubble under my palm, "Come here."

Ryan adjusted himself properly, bringing himself up a little. He brought his hand with care down my body, feeling my left breast, then my stomach, then my abdomen, then very gently, my clit. I was still just a little sensitive after my first orgasm, and my thighs tensed up a little. He smiled at my reaction and he took his hand away, giving his cock another stroke.

"Oh," he groaned out slightly, looking up at me one final time to ask more firmly with desperate eyes, "Are you sure?"

I drew in a shaky breath, "Yes, I'm sure."

Ryan came closer to me in an instant, giving me a gentle feel for him. I can feel the head of his cock rubbing against my clit, and it makes me breathe in a soft gasp. I can feel my fingers wanting to shake, but I kept them on his tattooed arms, holding them in my grasp. Ryan lets out a little groan himself, rubbing himself up my slit to gather my wetness.

"Mm," He parts his lips and looks down at me, gazing between my eyes as he whispers, "Ready? I'll go slow and just tell me if you want to stop."

My eyes were locked on his as if he were grounding me there. I gave him a nod and tried to calm my racing heart.

"Words, babe," he muttered, leaning down to press a little kiss to my ear. "Remember?"

"S-Sorry, yeah," I stammered slightly, rubbing my palms up and down his upper arms slowly, "I'm ready."

With that, Ryan lifted his head and stared at me once more. His expression was awaiting and patient as I could feel him entering me. I furrowed my brows together as there was a slight sting at first. He stopped moving and stayed there, leaning down to pepper sweet and slow kisses to my face. He kissed my jaw, my cheek, my nose, then between my brows.

"You're doing so good for me," he says quietly, trying to ease me into it.

I felt as if my legs were trembling, and I think they are. Ryan pressed himself a little deeper, making me let out a slight whine and squirm a little at the sting.

"Am I hurting you?" he asks calmly, his lips brushing against my ear.

"I..." I cut myself off, "Only a little."

"We're going to stay right here then," he decides in a soft voice. Ryan adjusts himself to balance on one arm and he takes one of my hands. I lay there and gaze between his eyes as he takes my fingers and brings them lower. I wonder what he's doing, but then he settles my fingertips over my clit. There's a flicker of possession in his eyes as he starts guiding my fingers in small circles, making the furrow in my brow relax slightly. Ryan gave a glance of satisfaction as he mumbled encouragingly, "That's it, princess. You touch yourself."

I feel my body grow hot as I continue to slowly rub myself. He covers my body with his once again and starts very slowly easing himself out and in, going a bit deeper each time. The stretch still stung a little, but with me rubbing perfect little circles over my bundle of nerves, it helped.

It wasn't long before Ryan's hips were right against mine and he let out a groan, giving slow, but deep thrusts. He wasn't being rough yet, but my body gently moved under his now when we fully pressed together. It felt different than anything I was used to.

The pain was starting to fade away and a subtle moan escaped my throat when he started to move a little faster. He lifted his head from my neck to watch me, clearly enjoying watching me under him. I moved my hand away from myself, wrapping my arms around his waist loosely. He kept himself steady as he thrust into me at a swift pace, letting out a groan.

I could feel myself being stimulated doing this now that it wasn't hurting and my lips parted. Ryan noticed the switch in my facial expression and he smirked, "You liking it? You're taking me so well."

I could feel my stomach flutter and tighten a bit at his words. The twist made me moan and hold onto him more. Ryan paused to adjust. He took my hands off his body and forced them up next to my head. He laced his fingers with mine and pushed my hands back against the mattress, sliding under the pillows. This allowed him to get even closer to me.

He slowed his thrusts to be slow, but strong. My body was stuttering under him as his pelvis nudged mine roughly. I let out a sudden small cry of pleasure, feeling it rush up my spine and make my fingers tingle. Ryan moaned next to my ear, murmuring my name before bringing my earlobe between his teeth to nibble it.

My fingers clenched around his, my back subtly arching up to press my chest against his.

He lifted himself after that, pressing his forehead against mine. I exhaled a sudden breath of surprise when he pulled out and he let out a tiny groan too. He looked down for a moment, starting to release my hands. The lack of contact was a bit jarring, but then Ryan started passionately kissing down my neck and over my breasts.

A slow moan exited my lips as he sucked my nipples between his teeth just to feel them. He gazed up at me as he pulled himself up and off. He sat up on his knees and offered me his hands, "C'mere."

I slid my hands into his and let him pull me up. As he guides me up to get on my knees too, I ask lightly, "What are we doing?"

Ryan smiled gently, moving his hands on my bare waist to hold my body against his. He moved his palm to passionately caress my cheek before muttering, "Turn around."

He aided me in turning. He brought my hands up and pressed them against the top of the headboard. He positioned himself behind me and started pushing back against me. I inhaled when I felt him enter me once again, the squeeze and the angle at which he was hitting now.

He let out a bit of a groan and brought his hands down the length of my arms as he thrust his hips against me from behind. I shut my eyes at the sensations as one of his hands gripped my hip and the other tightly held one of my breasts. My hands wanted to fall from the headboard, but I gripped onto it like it was my lifeline.

The sounds that filled my ears were some of something I never thought I'd experience. At least, not with Ryan. Sudden skin-to-skin contact repeated and he was making a new kind of pleasure arch my spine. My thighs clenched and my toes curled, my breath catching as I felt it leaving my lungs.

"Mm," Ryan groaned behind me, taking both my hips for a second to create the right rhythm. Then, he moved his left arm completely around my waist and I suddenly felt his right hand lightly around my throat. He pulled me up and took my leaning support off the headboard, keeping me right up against his body. I felt his chest against my back, his breath across my ear, his fingertips pressing on my pulse. I tilted my head back against his shoulder as he took me, a rather rattling moan escaping me as I felt my stomach lurch in pleasure.

"Yeah?" Ryan muttered into my ear with a low tone, holding my neck with a firm hold, but not at all to where it closed or clenched my airway. He just held me there. I felt more pleasure stirring inside me as he continued at a readily pace, making my trembling fingers grip his arms. His voice cut through the sounds again, breathless and grunting, "I can feel you're close for me."

I drew in a soft cry, my fingers tightening around his arms. He just didn't stop.

"Come for me, princess," he hissed into my ear, his other hand that was on my waist creeping down my abdomen and playing quickly with my clit, "Come for me."

I felt slight tears escape my eyes as it became too much and my back arched. I pressed myself back against him and I felt like I lost control of myself for several seconds. A sound I never imagined making slid past my lips as a hot cry and a gasp. My body was trembling in his hold and I collapsed forward. While in the midst of my fit and relaxing from it, Ryan flipped me over onto my back. He had his hand wrapped completely around his length, stroking it.

"Can I finish on your stomach?" he breathes out quickly, asking me permission first.

I brush my hair from my sweaty forehead and I nod, trying to capture my own breath as my orgasm was starting to fade, "Yeah."

Ryan forces himself to nod a little bit and he pushes my thighs apart to get closer. Suddenly, in the darkness of the room, I see him gaze down at me once before he slightly tilts his head back. He lets out a deep moan and he quickly strokes himself. I look down at myself, watching as spurts of his hot cum lands on my stomach. He groans as he finishes completely, eventually letting go.

I'm still a little star struck from my own orgasm that was unlike anything I've ever experienced on my own before. It didn't stop me from watching his own ecstasy unfold before my very eyes.

Ryan was out of breath, both of his hands resting on my thighs now as he stared down at me. I felt his thumbs rubbing on my inner thighs in a slow, petting motion. We stay like that for many seconds, the only sound in the room was the both of us breathing deeply. He eventually glanced over at the bedside table and leaned over me a little, asking quietly, "Mind if I turn on a light?"

"Um," I say wearily, "sure."

With a click, I squint in the warm lighting of the lamp as it fills the bedroom. The darkness covered us no longer and Ryan and I are revealed from our actions. After getting used to the light for a few moments, I look up, and Ryan is staring straight down at me. His eyes glance once over my body before settling on my face. He gazes between my eyes now with a soft and caring look of satisfaction.

"You're beautiful," he whispers with genuine affection, leaning down with a smile and pressing his lips against mine for a sweet kiss. When he pulls away, he caresses my cheek with his palm, his fingers slightly in my hair as he brushes it away from my face, "Are you feeling alright? Was that okay?"

My heart was still racing from all of it, and I'm sure my face was still a little flushed. I swallow my nerves and I find that a smile forms on my lips, a laugh making its way up from my heart.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I say with slight realization, looking up at him with gratefulness.

Ryan couldn't help but grin wider at my tone, leaning down once more and pecking my lips before getting up, "You're cute."

Ryan stands on the side of the bed and he helps me up. I feel almost a little unreal, like my steps aren't my own and my body isn't mine. He curled his fingers with mine and brings me into the bathroom across the hall.

"Let me clean you up, princess," Ryan says as he twists on the shower. He twirls his fingers in my hair as we wait for the water to heat up and he looks at me fondly, "How does a hot shower and a good night's sleep feel?"

Ryan took extremely good care of me, sliding soap up and down my body and shampoo into my hair. The late night was filled with exhausted little whispers, shy smiles, and little kisses. When we were finished with the shower, Ryan and I laid back down together in the big bed in his room. We were cuddled up in the center, wearing pajamas, and relaxing in each other's hold.

Falling asleep that night, I breathed in deeply directly against Ryan's chest and smelled the soap and the scent of clean laundry. For the first time ever in any kind of a relationship with a man, I truly felt safe and wanted. Ryan kept his arms snug around my body and he held me right up against him. Whenever we shifted throughout that night, I would wake up slightly and feel his fingertips give the skin on my waist a little rub under my pajama shirt before relaxing as he drifted back off into sleep.

The entire rest of the cabin is completely silent, as is the snow falling outside. There wasn't anyone around for miles to know what just took place. The only people that knew at that moment, was the new couple, tangled under the sheets, and enveloped in their newfound comfort in each other.

#onerepublic #ryan tedder #ryan tedder x reader #ryantedder #ryan tedder x reader insert #smut imagine #smut imagines #ryan tedder smut #ryan tedder fanfiction #fanfiction #ryan tedder imagines #ryan tedder imagine #onerepublic fanfiction #xreader #xreaderinsert #under the sheets

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sleepycupcake-uwu · 3 years ago

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Being In A Relationship With Frank Includes...

as usual, all these fics are written by my frnd (props to them <3)

Warnings: Like one swear word??

Hugs. Frank was what you'd describe a gaint teddy bear filled with fluffy cuteness (and shy). Since both of you weren't much into pda or lovey-dovey show-offs, consider surprise hugs no surprise.

Like the times you try cooking something, expect a pair of hands to slither up your waist, and a shy kiss on the neck. You'd stay there, slowly swaying, lost into each others touch-

"Oh shit! Y/n, the pancakes are on fire!"

Okay, maybe a bit too lost.

Books. You love books, that feeling of submerging into the world of fantasy made you a complete bookworm. So it also comes with having forced your boyfriend to practically read all of your fav collection. The poor sweet boy couldn't say no, but now considered him hooked.

Cuddles. That's a must. It could be anywhere, anytime and anyway. Usually, it's Y/n who sits on the lounge, treading her hand through his hair or y'all just spooning in the bed, weather be it sleeping or just those rare lazy days, no monsters, no demi-godly business, just you guys enjoying with your other half.

Speaking of demi-godly business, it ain't easy to date the Patreor of Rome, with busy hecking schedules and stuff, but you always make it work.

Fighting- You were more into swords and slashing, being Greek, while he was more into archery. Were you to be placed it a team (which was rare, as he'd patrol with his Pegasus. Or during capture the flag.)

Kisses- more intimate compared to wild make-outs. That's just how you liked it. It could be in the middle of a Netflix show, of when making love but it was always soft (unless y'all went wild- literally).

Shape lifting- Happens when either of you are down, or its just frank being frank and randomly turning into smth. You wonder if you're kids would inherit this, and have already signed up Nico and Will to help you, where you guys ever to have them.

CLUMSYYY- you have the house practically baby-proofed due to both of you being clumsy. But while Frank stumbles over things and gets over it, you practically curse, whine and chastise the furniture and walls for being in the way. Your boyfriend used to question your sanity (well, whatever left in you demi-godly mind), but now being used to it, he kinds just chuckled to himself (he figures its a way to let out your steam, so who's he to judge?).

Despite every ups and downs, you couldn't have asked for anyone other than him.

#frank zhang #frank zhang x reader #PJO #pjo fandom #pjo x reader #PJO/HOO/TOA #pjo headcanon #percy jackson #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #percy x annabeth #percabeth #percyjackson #xreader #xreaderinsert #reader inserts #gimme more tags ppl

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ererokii · 5 years ago

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Tsuki || Shouto Todoroki

Shouto Todoroki x Fem! Reader

Tsuki means Moon in Japanese

Warnings: light cursing

Word Count: 2237

Synopsis: It’s time for you to walk down the aisle and Shouto reminisces your relationship beforehand.

Taglist: @shoutogepi @shoutosteakettle @shoutodoki @sugacookiies @burnedbyshoto @kingtamakimurder @pixxiesdust @fryingpanitachi

➺ Note: This is for the @bnhabookclub bingo event! The prompt is Wedding Vows

Bingo Masterlist

Todoroki Shouto adored you. Everyone could see it. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted you to be his for the rest of his life. He jumped at any opportunity that was given to him to make advances in your relationship.

Shouto stared into his reflection as he quietly fixed the bow tie of his suit. He tugged at the hem of the suit as he fixed the cufflinks on his undershirt.

“Todoroki!” Midoryia peeked his head through the door. “Are you almost ready? The ceremony is supposed to start soon.”

Shouto briefly nodded and pushed back a strand of hair that fell out of place. “Yeah. Just fixing myself. Do I look fine?” He turned around and held his arms out horizontally for emphasis.

He wore a dark grey suit that complimented his right side but somehow made his right side pop out in color. His hair was slicked back except for the hairs that were too stubborn to stay in place, falling in front of his face.

“You look great as always! But hurry up, I don’t know how much longer Kirishima can hold Bakugo down!”

From the outside, you could hear Bakugo’s yelling and the sound of explosions. Not too loud but loud enough.

A sweatdrop fell from Midoryia’s face as he stepped back. “Yeah we should get going before he somehow explodes this place”

“Right behind you.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

“What if he lied and says no? What if this is some sort of game there are cameras secretly hidden so he can laugh in my face?!”

You paced back and forth, hands twitching by your sides as your dress dragged behind you. “What if he doesn’t love me?!”

“Y/N!” Jirou yelled that snapped you out of your panic, your head lifting quickly to meet her expression. “What?” You whispered meekly.

“Y/N honey” Momo places a hand on your elbow, a smile on her features. “You’re overreacting. Shouto loves you. Everyone can see it. I bet even strangers can see the love he has for you radiating off his body. There’s nothing to worry about. Plus he isn’t the type of man to joke about things like this.”

“He would be an idiot to say no! You have that boy wrapped around your finger! Tsu stop moving I can’t fix it” Mina grunted as she stood on her tiptoes, pushing the blue headpiece into her green hair. There! Perfect!”

You stopped in front of the full-body mirror, hands resting on your hips. The lace of the long sleeve ran it’s way down until it reached your forearm, the trim wrapping around with delicate patterns. Your back was exposed as the lace began again at the small of your back, flowing out as it trailed behind you. The dress hugged your curves, making you a walking statue of beauty. Your hair was in a low braided bun, strands of hair framing your face. A crown-like headpiece circled your head as your veil effortlessly enclosed around your body, making you look ethereal.

You teared up and began to fan your face. “Here they come” you choked out as you let your head hang back, a way to keep your tears at bay. “Aw Y/N” Ochako cooed as they came to surround you, wrapping their arms around your body but cautious of your dress and makeup.

“There’s no need to cry! You look so amazing! Every other bride out there in this world wishes they look as good as you!” Hagakure reassured, running her hand up and down your exposed back. “You look so beautiful. Shouto is one lucky man.”

The room erupted in agreement as a knock silenced all you.

You cleared your throat and fanned your face once more before speaking up, “Who is it?” you called and took a step towards the door.

“It’s Kirishima! It’s going to start right now so we all need to get paired up.”

Soon. Soon you would be walking down the aisle, holding the flowers tight to your chest to calm your nerves. Soon you would be saying your words of love to the man you were to spend the rest of your life with. Soon you would be leaving this place with your husband.

At the thought of leaving this place as Shouto Todoroki’s wife brought a smile to your face. You looked down at the carpeted floor as you gently kicked at it with the tip of your shoe. You were ready to start the next beautiful chapter with him. You remembered him acting strangely the day he asked you to be his on your fourth anniversary. He was a bit quieter like he reverted to his old school ways.

“Hello earth to Y/N? Did we lose her already?!” A hand waved in front of your face as a hand tapped itself on your shoulder.

Your head lifted quickly in shock, your eyes blown open as your mouth was parted. “What?!”

An amused giggle left Momo’s lips as she opened the door wider, allowing the rest of your bridesmaids to exit the room. “Don’t worry Y/N-San. It’ll be okay. We’ll all be up there!” she flashed you one of her charming smiles before exiting the room, leaving you by yourself.

You looked up at the ceiling as you let out your final breath, grabbing the flowers from the table and held it close to your chest. The music started playing, signaling everyone that you were to come soon. The beautiful melody filled your ears and it warmed the depths of your heart, the rhythm making your heartbeat join in sync.

You followed behind whoever was in front of you. It was hard to remember who was paired up with his groomsmen. Mina, who was in front of you, looked over her shoulder as her arm was interlocked with Kirishima’s arm. “It’s okay Y/N! It’ll be alright!”

Kirishima nodded in agreement. “It’s unmanly to be nervous! I bet Todoroki isn’t nervous at all!”

“Will the both of you shut up?!” Bakugo snapped as he fully turned around, dragging Hagakure in the process. “I want to get this shit over with but we can’t if you guys keep fucking talking!!”

Before you could retort back the doors swung open, allowing the first couple to walk through. Ochako and Izuku walked arm in arm together down the aisle, both showing their best smiles as your maid of honor and Shouto’s best man.

With space in between, each couple walked down in coordination before splitting up at the front.

You let out a deep breath as you clutched your hand to your chest. “This is it..” you whispered and let one foot move before moving the other, walking forward to a new chapter in your life.

As you made your appearance everyone stood up, Shouto’s head perking up at the sight of you, his mouth parting slightly. “Wow...” he whispered breathlessly as if you took his heart away from him again.

At the sight of your form walking closer and closer, he couldn’t help but drown in your appearance. You were beyond this world, something he couldn’t describe.

You walking down the aisle made him reminisce about how he got here. How he went from someone who didn’t need friends in his time in high school to having an almost wife by his side.

He remembered your first date. To be honest, he didn’t even know it was a date till you departed ways, asking for another one. Course he didn’t say anything about it but kept it to himself, lost in his thoughts.

The next dates after that were better than the first. The first being way too awkward that you did most of the talking. He noticed your form get closer and closer to him as you guys walked in the street, feeling the outline of your hand brush against his.

Your first kiss was… something to say the least. Your heads were angled weird as you bumped noses, emitting a noise from you and a soft smile to display upon his face.

Another date turned into another, then another, till it turned into your first anniversary. Your hardships only brought you guys closer, stronger to each other.

Your first fight tore him apart. He was being too distant as you said. He would come at late hours of the night and would leave first thing in the morning. You understood that he was a Pro-Hero, knew that he would be called whenever needed. You felt as if you weren’t needed and voiced your concerns.

One thing turned to another as he labeled you as clingy, not understanding, and whiny. You labeled him as distant, uncaring, and an emotionless bastard. The fight ended rather quickly when he saw your tears spewing out of your eyes as you whispered your insecurities to him. Right there he devoted any of his free time to you.

Yet here you were approaching him as he held his hand out for you to grab. Your smaller hand was engulfed by his bigger ones, leading you up the small steps to meet him at the top.

Your smile greeted him as he placed a kiss to your knuckles, placing your hand down by your side.

The voice of the Officiant, who was to wed you both was drowned out in the background. All Shouto could do was stare at you. His eyes drank in your figure as he slowly traced your form with his sight. To the way your hair was put in place to the flowing veil that covered your back, hiding you from the world. To the lace hugging your curves just right.

He snapped out of his trance when you took his hands in yours, facing him completely. Your lips moved that felt like an illusion to him. Your sweet voice filled the entire room as you declared your love for him. Your eyes gleamed with delight as your mouth was tugged up in a carefree smile, your hands twitching and squeezing with every word spoken.

Your eyes swelled up with tears as one of his hand reached to your face and gently wiped them away, his thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek gently.

“I promise to love you every day with my whole being Shouto. I promise to give my all to you through thick and thin. I love you Shouto.” You choked back a sob as you brought one of your hands to your mouth, covering it.

Shouto reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a white folded piece of paper. He unfolded it, fixing its creases as he stared down at his writing. “I had something pre-written down but,” he folded it again and placed it back inside. “I rather say what I feel right now.”

He let out a deep breath, “Y/N,” he began and lifted his head to meet your gaze. “No words can describe how much you mean to me. You’ve given me so many opportunities to prove myself that I was good enough for you. You were always there for me despite knowing what happened to me. You listened to me. You are my shoulder to cry on. As you are here for me, I promise to be there for you even though I know I’ll mess up.”

He grabbed both of your hands and held them to his chest. “You are my everything. You are my moon. You shined so brightly when I was in a dark place. In the dark, you showed me that there was something else out there that I couldn’t see. I promise to love, protect, and cherish you until I die and even until after that. My moon, I love you so much.”

He finished as your tears were openly flowing, your shoulders shaking as you shook your head.

“Todoroki Shouto, do you take Y/LN Y/N as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

“Y/LN Y/N, do you take Todoroki Shouto as your lawfully wedded husband!”

“Yes!” You cried out and gripped Shouto’s hands tighter, your makeup messing up slightly. Shouto could only smile at your messy appearance but to him, you were beautiful. Full of emotion. Full of love.

“I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss the br-“

Shouto wrapped a hand around your waist and brought you flushed against his chest, one of his hands cradling your cheek and he placed his lips on yours, sealing your bond of an ultimate form of love.

Cheers boomed throughout the place, sobs erupting from your bridesmaids.

“They’re just!! So cute!!” Mina sobbed into her arm as Tsu rubbed her back gently.

“Todoroki-Kun and Y/N-San are cute!! I can’t wait to babysit their kids!!” Momo wailed out as she shook her flowers, the petals falling off everywhere.

“That’s so manly!!” Kirishima wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, Midoryia reprimanding Bakugo for making a smart comment.

“This was a beautiful ceremony Kacchan! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Bakugo grunted and looked away from everyone, a small smile forming at his lips. Even though he wouldn’t say it, he was happy for both of you.

You pulled away and leaned your forehead against Shouto’s, your lips ghosting his as you bring your left hand to stroke his cheek. “I love you, Shou.”

He placed his hand on top of yours, leaning into your touch.

“And I you, my love.”

#bnhabookclub #shouto todoroki #shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki #todoroki shouto #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #bingo event #bokonoacademia #myheroacademia #todoroki x reader #xreader #xreaderinsert #my fic #fic

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throne-of-embers-and-storms · 5 years ago

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Seeing the Stars

Castiel X Reader

It was midnight and Dean, Sam and I had just arrived back at the motel. I look up to see the whole sky is blanketed in pure black without a star in the sky. Three months have passed since all angels fell from heaven and during that time I have joined the Winchesters on their hunting trips. I had to get used to human life fairly quickly once I fell and I still have many difficulties understanding the humans strange customs.

"Those vampires were a bitch…bar anyone?" Dean asks the two of us whilst already heading in the direction of the bar across the street from where we are currently standing. But suddenly, a metallic thrumming noise starts from the alley way to our left.

"Can you guys hear that or is it just me?" Sam, the younger Winchester, asks with a confused yet curious expression on his face.

"Never get a break around here…" Dean mutters quietly under his breath. The three of us start walking towards the alley where the noise appears to be coming from. At the end of the narrow aisle, a strange blue blur is appearing in and out of my vision. Is this some kind of demon trick?

The three of us inch our way to the strange sight ahead of us at the end of the alley, weapons in our hands. The blue blur takes a few seconds until it starts to materialize into an actual sight. A blue box with the words 'Police Phone Box' stand in front of me and it comes in and out of my view a few more times before it stops.

"Uh, Cas. Any idea here?" Dean asks me with wide eyes. I don't reply because honestly, I'm just as clueless right now. So instead I just shrug and the three of us start to move closer to the box ahead.

Out of nowhere though, the door is burst open by a man with a bow tie and shaggy brown hair who quickly takes in the sight of myself and the two Winchesters on either side of me as well as our, not so concealed, weapons.

"Uh, there's no need for weapons. I'm not here to hurt you." The man says with his hands slightly up as if in surrender. What is this blue box? I've never seen something like this. It just appeared... seemingly out of thin air.

"Who are you and what the hell is that?" Dean shouts at the man in apprehension and fear of the unknown.

"I'm the Doctor and this is the TARDIS. She's my ship. Who are you?" The Doctor asks.

"This is Dean and Sam Winchester," I say with glances at the two hunters. ", and my name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord." I say to the man in front of me.

"An angel? Well, I haven't seen an angel in centuries. Please come in. Let me show you around." The Doctor says, ushering us all into his TARDIS. Seen an angel? So he's met my kind before...

Who is this man? I have never heard of this Doctor, although he seems to know of my kind. Walking into the box, I look around and stop. I can vaguely hear Dean shouting how we won't all fit in here, but stepping into the box, I see that it is bigger on the inside. How? This technology is more advanced than humans possess. If only I was an angel… then maybe I could do something. But I do not believe this man wants to hurt us.

"Cas, man. Get out of there." I hear Dean shout from the outside. The Doctor leans against what looks like the control console of this contraption.

"Dean, Sam. It's fine. There's nothing to fear. We'll all easily fit." I shout back to the two brothers standing outside. "What is this?" I ask the Doctor who has gone to a screen behind me and is looking at it intently and focused.

Behind me, Sam and Dean slowly and anxiously walk into the Tardis, guns in hand. "Weapons away. You won't be hurt in here." The Doctor says with a glance at the two and a confused glance towards me. Why?

"Y/N, come in here. We have guests." The man with the bow tie exclaims out of nowhere.

"No need to shout. I'm here." A girl with (Y/H/C) hair comes bouncing down the glass stairs on my left. Wow. She's beautiful. I've never seen a girl like her. The way she walks with such confidence. "Who are these people Doctor?" She asks the man with a friendly smile.

"Y/N, this is Sam and Dean Winchester. They stopped the apocalypse." He says motioning to the two behind me. Wait, How does he know that? Both are still looking in awe at their surroundings when they finally notice the girl called Y/N. Their eyes are focused on the girl in front of us and both walk forwards to be closer. She is stunning.

"Hello." She says with a soft angelic voice."I'm (Y/N) (L/N). This is the TARDIS. It's bigger on the inside due to sciency things, but I'm sure the Doctor hasn't explained a thing to you, going by your expressions that is." She says with a laugh towards the Doctor. "I guess you've never been in a time machine before. Wait apocalypse?" She says with a shock at the end, changing the subject.

"Against Lucifer." I offer to her. Turning her head, her (E/C) eyes meet my ice blue ones and all over I feel a warm feeling.

"Lucifer. What like the devil?" She asks and I nod my head as an answer, not being able to keep my eyes off her. "Huh, I thought they were just old stories you know, hell, heaven. In the future, religion really isn't a big thing. Nearly non-existent. Oh and you are?" She finally asks for my name in a sweet voice. Religion isn't a big thing, the future?

"Did you say the future?" Sam asks the girl. Her head turns away from me before I can answer and she starts to talk to Sam. For some reason I feel disappointment and another strange feeling to her talking to another man.

"Yes. I'm not from this time. I'm from the 51st century and live in what you would call London. Doctor what's going on?" She asks confidently. Her eyes shine with hope and dreams... and even a bit of rebelliousness.

"I found them outside. I've been wanting to meet you three for a long time. The ones that stopped armaggedon and that fight between the two archangels." The Doctor says whilst rapidly turning to us. His eyes are blazing with curiosity. "You've never met an angel have you (Y/N)?" He asks the girl.

"No. I haven't. Why? One of you aren't angels are you?" She says with the same curiosity in her bright (E/C) eyes as the Doctor. Her eyes shift amongst the three of us.

"My name is Castiel, I'm an angel of the Lord... or was." I say,my eyes falling to the glass floor.

"I was wondering about that. Where is your grace Castiel?" The Doctor asks, looking between the screen and I. That must be why he keeps looking at me strangely.

"Heaven was closed up and the angels fell. My grace was stolen by another angel, thus making me human."

"All angels fell?" (Y/N) asks me, stepping forward slightly.

"The trials right?" The Doctor asks. I don't say anything but stand in silent shock. How could he know that? "I'll take your silence as a yes." He says before checking more equipment on the console.

"How the hell do you know so much?" Dean asks angrily, obviously getting annoyed at the man's vagueness about himself. "Who are you?"

"You haven't told them?" The girl asks with a shake of her head before leaning on the console.

"I'm getting to it." The doctor replies, waving his hands at her to stop leaning on the controls. "So I'm the Doctor. I'm a Timelord from the planet Gallifrey and I'm very old. I'm basically a madman with a box." He says quickly, seeming to be in a rush. Timelord? I've never heard of a Timelord or Gallifrey before. "Okay, you guys ready?"

"Ready? For what?" Sam asks the man.

"An adventure." The Doctor says with an excited glint in his eyes before pulling down a lever. Then the doors shut and the room lurches up slightly. The metallic thrumming noise is heard again from the centre console of the room and everyone immediately goes to hold onto something to stop themselves from falling down. Sam, Dean and I are still in shock whereas (Y/N) and the Doctor are just laughing giddily to themselves.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean shouts from beside me.

"Wait and see." (Y/N) says calmly. Once the room stops shaking, the Doctor and (Y/N), who seems to be a companion of sorts, walk out of the room and step out of the doors. "Come on guys." She calls to us. Looking at each other, we slowly walk out the TARDIS and are shocked to see that we've moved.

"What..." Sam says, not being able to think of a solution for our shift in space. Laughing, (Y/N) and the Doctor look at us all and just walk around the place, commenting on the different species of people around us. Apparently we are not on Earth anymore and are on a planet far away. The Doctor says he just wanted us to see something and felt random at the time. I get the feeling that this is a normal occurrence with him.

During the day, the three of us had become settled into the new enviroment, Sam asking the Doctor plenty of questions about the universe and Dean trying every food he came across. I went a separate way, following (Y/N) as she showed me plenty of different things from a variety of cultures.

"Hey Cas. You hungry?" She asked me as she pulled me towards a cafe of sorts. "This place has great food. You'll love it." For some reason, I felt a connection towards this human girl from the future. She was beautiful, but it was more than that. I felt like I'd known her my whole life.

"Yes. I am actually." I answered to which she just smiled a breathtaking smile and pulled me to a table near a water display of sorts.

"Any idea what you want?" She asked me and when I looked at the menu I had no idea. As an angel, I never required food, but now, as a human, it was needed to keep me alive. Shaking my head at her, she smiled and ended up ordering for the both of us. "You'll like it, I swear." She says to me before starting on her food once it had arrived. I copied her way of eating, with both hands, the strange yet delicious food. I hummed in delight at the food in my hands.

All day I had been getting to know (Y/N) better, both of us asking questions about the other. She was interested in the fact that I was once an angel as she said that she had never heard of my kind. "(Y/N), if you don't mind me asking, but why did you join the Doctor on his trips?" I anxiously asked, hoping I hadn't 'crossed a line' as Dean says.

"Why not?" She replies with a laugh. "I had nothing keeping me home and I saw an opportunity to see the stars. Plus, I couldn't not go. Who wouldn't want to see the whole of time and space?" Thankfully I hadn't upset her but I'm curious as to what she means by 'having nothing to keep her home'.

"Why wouldn't you have anything at home?" I ask quietly. Her face dropped and I immediately started to regret my question. "I... I'm sorry. Forget I asked." I hurriedly say before she cuts me off.

"No it's fine, Cas. Really..." She says before stopping for a second. "My parents gave me away when I was a child and I grew up in an orphanage with a bunch of other kids. I never had a real family and all I had when I was older was my job. I was a soldier in the army but I lost my friends and squad due to an attack and I couldn't carry on. So I left the army and met the Doctor. We've been travelling together ever since..." She says and my hand immediately finds hers. I don't know why, but her soft small delicate hand in mine feels right.

Smiling at her, I become lost in her eyes. Bright with happiness yet hurt from her past at the same time. A slap on my back brings me out of my thoughts, and I notice how I had unconsciously moved closer to her. Both of us jump away from the close proximity and I turn around to see the Doctor along with the Winchesters smiling at us knowingly.

"Well. As much fun as the day has been, you should probably get back. Come on. I'll take you three back home in the TARDIS now." The Doctor states before walking back to the blue box that brought (Y/N) to me.

Walking with Dean and Sam, the two ask me about (Y/N). "So what? You like her?" Dean asks with a grin.

"Maybe...I don't know." I answer but like isn't a strong enough word. There's just a connection between us two and I feel like she can see into my soul, if angels had one that is.

The two brothers laugh but quieten down by the time we arrive back at the TARDIS. All five of us enter the room and the Doctor immediately starts to set the controls to our time. The Winchesters and (Y/N) laugh about the differences between the present and the future as well as things they have seen today. The TARDIS starts making the same metallic thrumming noise and after a few seconds the Doctor opens the doors with a click of his fingers and I can see we are back where we started.

"Well. It was nice meeting you three. Today has been fun. If you ever have any alien trouble give me a call." The Doctor says before turning around to look at the screen once again.

"See ya Doc, Bye (Y/N)." Dean calls out with a wave before stepping out of the box.

"Yeah. Bye guys." Sam says before following his brother. Now I have to leave. I probably won't see her again.

"Goodbye Doctor. (Y/N)," I say, walking up to her where she is standing at the door saying goodbye to Sam and Dean. "I'll miss you. Goodbye." I reluctantly say before walking out of the box.

"Goodbye Castiel. I hope we meet again." She says with a smile and bright (E/C) eyes. She turns to close the door but I quickly grab her wrist.

"Stay with me." I ask her, wanting nothing more than to kiss her in that moment.

"I can't. I'm sorry. The Doctor... needs me. He can't be alone. It's not good for him." She answers, looking back at the Doctor worryingly. She told me how close the two were. Almost like brother and sister.

"Oh..." I say. Disappointment showing clearly on my face. "Well. Then I guess this is it." I reply, letting go of her wrist reluctantly. My hands already missing the contact.

She steps forward suddenly and grabs my face within her hands. She looms down at my lips before flitting her gaze to my ice blue eyes. I lean into her touch until I feel her soft lips brush against mine. I lose myself in the kiss, forgetting about the fact that I'll never see her again. My hands reach up to twist in her (H/L) (H/C) hair. After a minute we break apart.

She pulls away and steps backwards, back into the blue box behind her. "Goodbye Cas." She says with a sad smile that doesn't reach her eyes before closing the door between us. My shoulders visibly fall at that moment. Already missing the warmth I felt whenever she was near. After a few seconds the TARDIS starts humming that metallic noise and the wind around us starts to pick up slightly.

"Cas. You okay?" Dean asks me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No. But she'll be happy with the Doctor. Seeing the stars." And with that I walked away, never forgetting the girl that stole my heart within a day. Hopefully I'll see her again...

#castielxreader #spn #xreaderinsert #castiel #castiel oneshot

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awkwardbirdnoise · 8 years ago

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I am showered and ready to write.

Drop anything in my ask, who knows. I do a lot of fandoms. I'm feeling extra productive right now.

#fanfic #xreaderinsert #Pokemon #dragon age #mass effect #dream daddy

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thevanillerose · 10 months ago

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TRAINEE | TOKITO x READER | DEMON SLAYER

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

He was soft faced…

Eyes a gentle teal, skin like porcelain. Delicate and demure like a doll, almost feminine at first glance. Tokito.

When you first heard you’d be training with the Mist Hashira, you honestly weren’t worried. You felt no concern, figuring (naïvely) that he always carried the same attitude, and as such…would he not be tender with you?

What you didn’t expect was how his personality could do such a 180, that when he was a teacher, he wasn’t really Tokito anymore.

“In a real battle, you won’t just be getting bruises. You’ll be getting sliced and torn apart. You won’t just be aching the next day. You’ll be dead.”

His stern tone, so different from what you were used to, echoed in the training room, all ten of you standing to attention as he paced back and forth.

“At this rate, anyway. From what I can see, not one of you is prepared for a real fight.”

You were standing furthest at the end of all the others. Your stance was tense, and your head was low. You found it a little hard even just to look up at him whenever he passed by, as if meeting his gaze would somehow double down on your nerves.

“All of you, need improvement…”

His black-socked feet padded down the extent of the room until they had reached your position, and he stood before you, giving you a full view of just how that once sweet, sparkling gaze had shifted. Now it looked coldly focused.

“That includes you, [Y/N].”

The training session proceeded. Just as you now expected, he was ruthless with every contender. Each harsh smack of his wooden sword against flesh was enough to make you flinch, and as he worked his way down the line, picking out each person to spar, your sense of dread grew and grew.

He actually made some of them cry. You worried you’d do the same, and he’d think of you as a weakling from then on. Though perhaps it was fair to say he already did…

“[Y/N]. Your turn.”

Slowly raising your head, you met that chilly gaze again and swallowed nervously, before nodding and walking forward with stiff limbs. You positioned yourself before him, holding your own weapon before you, unable to hide how nervous you were.

He saw it. He saw the way you were quivering, trembling, but still, made no comment. He only signaled for the fight to begin.

The two of you circled around each other warily, staring at one another, though compared to his more serene, confident expression, you must have looked like some frazzled little field mouse.

I have to prove myself!

A little too hastily, you attempted to strike him. However, with a sharp CLACK! he easily parried, then prepared his counter attack. The wooden sword cut through the air towards you with such smoothness it almost seemed like a real blade, and you squinted, freezing in place, bracing yourself for the pain that was surely coming-

…Yet it was only a gust.

A small puff of air, as Tokito deliberately stopped the sword from touching your neck mere millimeters away. Had he not, you’d have been sent crumbling to the ground.

Shaking, a bit bewildered, you opened your eyes and looked at him again. He may have stopped himself from hitting you, but that didn’t change how stern he still looked now.

“So. [Y/N]. What do you think of your own performance?”

The rhetorical question he posed had you utterly on edge. You knew what the answer was. ‘Poor’. You already knew, it hadn’t been good enough.

It hadn’t been good enough…

“Disappointing, overall. Tomorrow we’re going to have to up the ante I guess.” Tokito uttered in disappointment, and dismissed the group. Only, as you were filing out after the others, also about to leave, he put his arm out and stopped you.

“Not you, [Y/N].” he said, waving you back a few steps, “You and I need to do some extra training.”

Looking over at him sheepishly, a part of you wanted to plead with him not to do this. You could train on your own time, right? You’d had enough humiliation for one day.

However, he wasn’t having it. And as you were guided to the center of the room, you soon had one of the swords thrust into your grip again, Tokito looking across at you expectantly.

“Now. We’re going to spar until you get this right.”

This time around, you didn’t try going for him first. That hadn’t worked out so well previously, after all. But he still came at you with a quick attack and you, again, couldn’t avoid it in time. Moments before the sword hit you though, you swore you saw a flash of worry in his eyes. But it was snuffed out as quickly as you were smacked, and you doubled over with pain, clutching your left side.

“...I know it hurts, [Y/N].” he uttered, “But it’s going to hurt far worse when it’s an actual weapon.”

“I-I know–” you grunted, a little tearfully, but pulled yourself together as best as you could and straightened up again.

Every time you did this, every time you tried to face him head on, bravely, he would counter with a strike that left another welt or bruise on your body. Finally, it got to the point where he’d left you too winded to stand properly, and his frustration finally showed, his teeth grit as he tossed his sword aside and stepped right up to you.

“[Y/N]! Why even bother with Hashira training if you’re never going to get it right! It’s like you’re not listening to any of the advice I give you!”

You had still been doubled over, holding yourself while he snapped at you. But you slowly, a little wearily, raised your head and looked up at him, sniffing. Tears that you had been fighting hard to bite back earlier were now lingering around the edges of your eyes.

Tokito was startled. His stony, disgruntled expression wobbled into something more emotionally raw. The worry was back, and he was finding it hard to hide too.

“I’m sorry…I know I’m weak, and I’m useless. I know I should have never signed up for this! It’s just…” you winced, and gripped your side a little tighter, “...Demons killed my sister. If I can’t avenge her then there’s no point for me to keep on living…”

Hot, salty trickles streamed down your cheeks as you let out a little sob, shaking your head, “I don’t want to give up but…I know I…I know I can’t do this!”

There was a moment of tense silence between you two, a pregnant pause during which you were too afraid to look at him, too afraid to see that cold expression again. Yet, when you finally braved it, you were shocked by what you saw.

He was looking at you sadly. Guiltily. His visage was soft and tender once more, his ocean eyes wide and glimmering like they were on the verge of crying too.

And he finally spoke.

“[Y/N]...do you know why I’m trying so hard with you? Why I’m pushing you this much, why I’m being so serious about it?”

Gazing up at him, a little lost, you shook your head slowly and quietly. In return, his lips broke into a gentle smile, and his slender hand met your shoulder with a soft, comforting touch.

“It’s because I know how much that means to you. I know you don’t want to give up. For your sister’s sake…”

To your surprise, his hand slid up to your cheek, the pad of his thumb gently brushing away the tears upon it.

“But…you should also do it for your own sake. Prove it to yourself. You aren’t as weak as you think you are.”

As his hand smoothly pulled back again, it graced a few strands of your hair, tugging them gently and letting them slip between his fingers smoothly. You felt a heat in your cheeks, a tiny flush spreading there, covering the red marks and bruises that had been left.

“Do you…really think that?”

You asked him innocently. He smiled warmly.

“Yes, [Y/N]. I do.”

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS! LIMITED TIME SALE: 20% OFF ALL COMMISSIONS UNTIL THE 31ST OF AUGUST! ♡

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #muichiro tokito #demon slayer tokito #tokito x reader #xreaderfanfic #xreaderinsert #xreader #readerinsert #fanfic #writingcommissions #fanfic commissions #anime #romance #fluff

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kirisaki-daichi-scenarios · 8 years ago

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How would Hanamiya react to his s/o crying because of something he said?

At first, Hanamiya had just been blank to your emotions. He didn’t care that you were crying, didn't’ care that he had caused it but now your crying was becoming so annoying…

Although stubborn enough to want to consider himself always in the right as far as arguments were concerned, and manipulative enough that he didn’t have to apologise, eventually enough was enough. At this rate, the rest of the team would come in- and start chuckling about what a bad boyfriend he was. Hara, like the slimy rat he was, would come over to you and start acting caring when all he wanted was a fangirl.

So, what to do?

Would a kiss shut you up?

#hanamiya #hanamiya makoto #hanamiya x reader #hanamiya makoto x reader #kirisaki daichi scenarios #kirisaki daichi #kiridai #kirisaki daichi x reader #x reader #xreaderinsert #scenarios #kuroko no basuke #kuroko no basket #the basketball which kuroko plays

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ilovelifeandiwanttotalkaboutit · 2 years ago

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Ryan Tedder Drabble:

🍬 Anything For A Cuddle: Ryan Tedder x Reader Insert

Summary: You wake up in the middle of the night to a swelteringly hot body holding you against him, and you try to pry yourself to the cooler side of the bed. Quite cute and fluffy: enjoy ;)

Link to Ryan Tedder Masterlist

I squinted my eyes awake, feeling unbelievably warm. I turned my head to the culprit. Ryan and I were laying facing each other, my arms tucked into myself and his wrapped lazily around me. Although his grip was loose, it was still enough to keep me right against his hot body.

I closed my eyes again and tried to fall back asleep, but I really couldn't. I was just too hot. I sighed and did the thing I wanted to do the least. I moved.

I rolled myself over in his arms so I was facing away from him, allowing myself further out of his hold until we were no longer touching. With my head on a colder spot on the pillow and my body touching cool sheets, I relished the sensation. It all slipped away though when I heard Ryan take a deep inhale and shift too. Not but a moment later, his hands found my waist, successfully wrapping back around me and pulling my body towards his. I was hot all over again, my back and behind pressed against him, his palms on my stomach, him trying to tangle our legs together. I even felt his hot breath on my neck as he breathed in a sigh into my hair.

I'm much more awake now, my hand going over his on my body and kicking my legs further from his. I turn my head up towards him and whisper, "Hey."

He notices my legs being brought further away from him and already lifted his head. "Mm?"

I gently pried one hand off, wanting to scoot out, but he held me to him.

"Wha's wrong?" Ryan murmured, still coming out of his sleep.

"You're making me hot," I complained quietly, still trying to evade him. "Get off."

"But..." he rested his head back on the pillow with a little huff, letting his hands off my body as I sighed a relief. I scooted myself closer towards the edge of the bed, peeling the duvet back to my waist.

"Sorry," I whispered. "You're just too hot."

He paused for a moment before rolling over, getting up with a little groan. Worry began to prickle my skin as I sat up, watching him leave the room.

"Ryan?" my voice was small.

Did I make him angry? Where was he going? Why was he leaving?

He left the room door open which made me think he was coming back, so I waited patiently. Less than a minute later, I squint and listen as I hear the air in the house turn on. What happened?

I hear his feet approach the door again, and he enters the room, shutting the door, before hopping back into bed.

"What the hell did you do?" I asked, feeling a gentle but consistent cool breeze wash over the side of the bed where the air vent was.

"I just turned the air onto the lowest it'll go," he says with a cheeky smile. Once he lays down, he smiles proudly at me and brings the duvet to his chin. "I'll give you a few minutes darling, but when the room drops to sixty degrees, you're going to be crawling back to my side of the bed. I can't wait."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're ridiculous. Anything for a cuddle."

He gave a smiley nod and a little triumphant 'mm hmm'. "You better believe it."

#fluff #ryantedder #cute #ryan tedder #xreaderinsert #xreader #ryantedderfluff #ryan tedder fluff #x reader #ryan tedder x reader #ryan tedder x reader insert #ryanteddercute #ryan tedder cute #ryantedderdrabble #drabble #ryan tedder drabble #anythingforacuddle #anything for a cuddle

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sleepycupcake-uwu · 3 years ago

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Imagine having to share a bed with Leo Valdez (alternate version)

The original version

a/n: This was written by a friend. NOT MY WRITING.

Summary: The title (leo vadez x fem!reader)

"So...what now? We...share the bed? " Y/n smacked Leo's chest, feeling the vibrations as he laughed.

"No, Valdez, you are sleeping on the couch, while I get the bed." She stated.

"What? No fair, that's sexist," he whined.

"Hmm, what about the 'I'm a gentleman' façade you put up there, hmm?" The daughter of (g/p) teased with a smirk. "Gotta be sexist to be one."

Well, how did they end up here? Pretty simple.

Being sent by Chiron with your crush to a quest for retrieving a stolen parchment sounds somewhat easy. But doing it? That's a whole new level of hardness.

They were successful, nevertheless, back on their way to camp-half blood, but had to stop halfway on the nearest motel to call it the night. Which, unfortunately, only had one small bed. For two.

"Nah, I'd rather be wise when it comes to bed or the couch," he gave his stupid grin (that Y/n really wanted to smack off his face).

"Fine, rock, paper, scissors - winner chooses" she decided- a decision which was regretted it immediately.

"I win! Ha!" Leo pumped his fist in the air. Y/n rolled her eyes, muttering a, 'whatever, loser' and proceeded to the bed, taking the rug from there.

"You think I'd actually let my friend rot on the couch?" Two hands sneaked around her waist, and the intruder was met with a swift punch one the nose, and an audible crack, before Y/n processed his words. Her eyes widened.

"Oh shit. Shit. Fuck, I'm so sorry Leo. Are you alright?"

A groan from the demigod on the floor, "Remind me never to give you surprise hugs again."

She pried his hands away, assessing the injury. "Yep. Definitely broken. Hold on, lemme get you the first aid kit- and ambrosia. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks for the commentary." Ah, sarcasm. "Of all the ways to get my nose broken, why does it have to end up like this?"

"Shut up," Y/n wiped the blood off with the wet cloth.

"Looks like we'll have to share," Leo said.

"Yeah, share," she relented, "But rules. No touching, or anything of that sort. You, me, corners of the bed. Get it?"

"Damn right girl, I ain't coming near you for the next month." The (h/c) girl smirked.

"Think I can count on that, Tinker lord."

•••

"Stop wriggling, Valdez."

"What? I'm still in my line."

"No- you just caused the pillow in between to move."

"Sheesh, drama queen."

"Says you. 'McShizzle'"

"Whatever."

Silence prevailed.

"Leo?"

The demigod facing the window hummed.

"Do you ever, like, think what life would be if we weren't demigods?" It was no more than a whisper. Leo frowned, before smiling softly at the moon.

"Sometimes."

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ererokii · 5 years ago

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What Goes Around Comes Around

T. Shouto x Fem! Reader (inspired song fic)

Song: What Goes Around by Justin Timberlake

Warnings: angst, cheating, like one scene of sex (very small scene), characters are 18+

Italics mean flashback

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This is my first fic and my first attempt at writing angst so I’m sorry if this is quite shit and of course it had to be my boy (pls forgive if there are typos). Also big shoutout to @shoutodoki and @shoutosplaything (also thank u for beta reading gabbi) for letting me tag them!

Don’t wanna think about it

Don't wanna talk about it

I’m just so sick about it

I can’t believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it

Feeling the blues about it

I just can’t do it without ya

Can you tell me is this fair?

14 days

It’s been 14 days since the last time you saw Shouto Todoroki. You refused to acknowledge him as the man that you once loved but deep down inside you knew that you still love him. Everyday your thoughts kept haunting you as if it was a song that kept repeating itself without your permission.

Was I good enough?

Did he not love me anymore?

Could I have known before it happened?

Could it have been fixed?

Maybe I wasn’t putting enough effort?

You thought that your relationship was perfect. Like every other couple, you had your ups and downs. To something as silly as leaving the dirty dishes there or something as serious as miscommunication. Regardless, that was the best relationship you’ve been in for a while. Thought Shouto was the one to be. The one you would spend the rest of your life with. You guys were the It Couple. All your friends would always compliment on your relationship. Soulmates. That’s how everyone described your relationship with Shouto. A bond that could never be broken. The universe bringing two people together to forge the most perfect relationship. That’s what everyone used to say.

Tonight, just like every night you stared up at the ceiling refusing to let sleep take over your body as all you saw was Shouto when you closed your eyes. Laying on the couch, you stared up at the ceiling like you were in a trance, unmoving. The blanket lazily hangs off of the couch as you refused to shield your body from the cold. The unfinished dinner stayed on the granite counter in your kitchen, the half-empty wine bottle laid untouched on your low table. How pathetic you thought to yourself as you let out a weak chuckle and sat up slowly, running a hand through your messy hair. A bang like knock to your door startled you, making you turn your head quickly and could have sworn you almost gave yourself whiplash. “Who in the hell..” you mumbled and stood up, wiping your sweaty palms against your shorts as you made your way to the door, stopping in front of it. You let out a deep sigh and fixed your hair quickly to the best of your ability.

“Who is it?”

“Y/N.”

You let out an indescribable noise as you quickly covered your mouth. Why was he here? What does he need? Is he drunk? Millions of questions raced through your mind. Even with the door separating you two, you could still feel his intense gaze burning holes right through it.

“Y/N please open the door. I just want to talk to you and explain things.”

“There is nothing to talk about Todoroki” you snapped and leaned your forehead against the cool wood. He internally cringed whenever you used his last name. It sounded so foreign to him whenever the word escaped your mouth that he honestly forgot what it sounded like.

“Please all I ask of you is to let me explain”

You let out a low groan and unlocked the door quickly, opening it with force that even Shouto was surprised you would agree to face him.

“Explain?! You’re gonna explain how you oh so magically or you tripped and stuck your dick in another girl’s vagina?! Cause if you have an amazing explanation please be my guess and enlighten me.”

“Y/N come on don’t act like that..”

“No! You have no right to tell me how I should be acting! And don’t you fucking dare call me by my name. We aren’t formal anymore” You snapped and felt tears starting to form. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see you cry. Not again.

~~~~

The thought of marrying Shouto has been on your mind for the longest. Being in a relationship for 3 almost 4 years with him was amazing, you were deeply in love with him and you wanted to take the next step.

Recently you noticed a difference in Shouto’s behavior. He lost his loving touch. As time went on you noticed the bridge separating both of you as if it forbade you to meet in the middle once again. It started off small. He would come home later than usual. Yes being a Pro-Hero called for him to be out at unusual times of the night but this didn’t feel right. It wasn’t right.

“Shouto!” You called out from the front of your apartment, slipping on your shoes. “I’m going to be out for a while with Ochako! I shouldn’t be gone too long!”

Silence.

You were met with silence.

A frown formed on your face as you glanced at the man sitting down on the couch, staring down at his phone. ”Shouto?” This time you were met with a grunt. Least it was better than silence. “Did you even listen to what I said?”

“No. What did you say”

Ouch. That hurt.

“I said I was going out. With Ochako” you announced slowly, expecting that he would take notice this time. ”Uh-huh. That's cool.” he mumbled, not looking up from his phone once as a small smile formed on his face. ”Well..okay then I'll see you later then. I love you.”

Once again you were met with silence but this time he lifted his head up to meet your gaze. The look in his eyes looked unrecognized, something you haven't seen since the beginning of your friendship. ”Ok. Stay as long as you want.”

That was some of the red flags you should have taken notice of, but you were so blinded by your love for him that you didn't bring it up.

You told your best friend, Ochako Uraraka about the situation and she simply told you that you were probably overreacting and just needed to speak with the man himself. “Ochako you know he doesn't even acknowledge me anymore. He doesn't say ’I love you’, he's not affectionate anymore and always pushes me away whenever I try to have sex with him. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?”

The brunette girl sitting beside you swirled the red wine in her glass as she stared down at it. ”I really wish I knew the answer for you Y/N-chan. From what it sounds like you just need to sit down and talk with him. It could possibly just be miscommunication.”

”What if he's cheating on me?”

”I'm going to have to stop you right there. Todoroki may be a bit dense at times but he isn't an idiot. If that were the case I would personally go down there and show him that he doesn't mess with the best girl around. In case you didn't notice, you're the best girl.

A weak chuckle escaped your lips as you took the final sip of your wine, relishing the way it went down your throat and left a tangy aftertaste. “Maybe I’ll buy a little something on the way back. Maybe some strawberry milk and soba noodles from his favorite place.”

“I mean you can do or you could just go straight home and talk to him without any bribery.”

A sigh exited your mouth as you placed your now empty glass on her white table. ”I really appreciate that you let me come over”

A smile tugged on her lips as she wrapped her arms around you, hugging you tightly against her smaller frame. “Of course Y/N-Chan! Let me know how it goes after!”

Then that’s how you found yourself in front of your door, reciting a small monologue on how you would approach the man. You opened the door quietly, staying put when you heard the soft creak of the door. “He should be home..” you whispered to yourself as you shut the door behind you once you entered your shared apartment. “All I have to do is approach and speak my mi-“ Black heels? When did you leave black heels here?

You didn’t. The only pair of shoes that were beside the black heels were your white slippers. You felt as if your heart dropped down in the depths of your body. It was a misunderstanding. It had to be.

You began walking towards your room, taking quiet steps despite feeling that your feet were dragging across the floor. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t capable of doing that. Right?

Turning the corner to enter the hallway you stopped your motion and stared. Across the hallway was your closed bedroom door. It felt like a journey that hasn’t even begun. Before taking a single step towards your destination, you heard it.

“S-Shouto!”

That was it. The moan. The noise of skin slapping against skin and the creaking of your once shared bed where it was him making you feel that good. Him touching you in a way that no one else could feel his touch. It used to be you. Only you.

“No no no” you repeated like a mantra and walked over quickly only to stop in front of the door, hand resting about the door knob. You were hesitating, but why? You already had your answer. Was it because you were in denial? You thought this was a dream?

Taking a deep breath you grasped the knob and turned it, pushing the door open quietly.

There it was. The scene you always hoped you would never see. Your now ex-boyfriend, drilling some woman into your mattress. Your presence seemed to be ignored by them.

“Fuck baby you fuck me so good!”

“You’re so fucking tight” Shouto grunted and threw his head back and closed his eyes before opening them again, tensing up on once he spotted you standing right behind him. His hips stilled as his hands let go of the woman’s ass.

You couldn’t believe it and started shaking your head in denial

“Y/N this isn’t what it looks like”

“Oh? What is it then huh? I know I’m not fucking blind. I can see what is going on with my own two eyes.”

He got off the bed quickly and grabbed a spare sheet, placing it on top to cover himself up. “Please Y/N” he whispered. He sounded desperate as he reached to grab your hand while taking a step towards you.

“How long has this been going on.”

“What?”

“How long have you been doing this behind my back.”

“...6 months.”

The past 6 months seemed like a lie now. Every kiss. Every touch. Every ‘I love you’ was nothing but a lie. Now, you remembered all the red flags that were thrown your way but your denial got the best of you. The constant fighting, blowing you off on dates to go hang out at ‘Midoriya’s place’ or even ‘Bakugo’s place’. Coming home late even when he wasn't called for work. It all made sense now.

”Baby we can talk about this”

“No!” You snapped and pointed a shaky finger at him. “Do not beg me. I gave you everything I possibly could. I put in all my time and my energy for this relationship and for you to just..” you trailed off and covered your mouth with your hand, suppressing a sob from fleeing. ”You know...instead for future purposes. If you want out of a relationship j-just tell them. Don't cheat on them from behind. And don’t you dare call me that fucking name again.” You said as confident as you could but in reality it was the opposite of confident. Your voice was wavering, your once perfect mascara was running down your face mixed with your tears.

Shouto gulped and clenched the sheet in his hand. “I still love you Y/N.. we can talk this out please. Just give me a chance.” He whispered and looked directly into your eyes. Broken. Torn. Guilty. The look in his eyes seemed to stare right through your soul.

“If you really loved me, you would have never cheated on me in the first place. You would have come up to me and spoken to me how you felt instead of doing this behind my back… I’m going to leave. When I come back, I want you out of my apartment. Take everything you own and leave.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What goes around, comes around

~~~~

You shut your eyes tightly as the memory and clenched your fists right by your side.

“I was drunk. I went to a bar right when you left to go visit Uraraka.” Shouto said as he took a small step towards you. It felt like the world was suffocating you.

“A bar? That’s your excuse for cheating on me? Drunk for 6 months? Please. I’m not stupid. I know plenty of men that get ‘drunk’ and they don’t cheat on their significant other. I didn’t expect that coming from your mouth. You disappointed me. You let me down. You made me feel like it was my fault.”

“That’s because it’s not!” He suddenly yelled and you flinched slightly at the sudden change of his tone. He let out a deep sigh and kept going forward till he had you caged between him and the wall inside your apartment. “It was all me. I was stupid. I’m sorry for hurting you..I should have just came up to you and spoke to you how I was feeling. I’m sorry.” He whispered and placed his finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him.

You gulped and felt his intense gaze stare through you. His bi-colored hair tickling the top of your forehead. His face was close to yours, you could feel his hot breath hitting your face as he cupped your cheek.

“I’m afraid of losing you..I don’t want to lose you Y/LN” he whispered into your ear, smiling faintly when he saw you shiver. Even like this, he still had the same effect on you and you loathed it. “We can just forgive and forget.. I’ll make it up to you I promise just please forgive me”

You wanted to. You wanted time to go back and give you what you wanted. A meaningful relationship. Being with Shouto was on your mind everyday as if it was mocking you. You desperately wanted to be in his loving arms again, feeling his body on yours. Now that you were caged behind him, a low level panic started to arise in your body. Could you ever forgive him? How could you forget? What makes this different? What if he does it again?

“She cheated on you didn’t she”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said, she cheated on you. Didn’t she?”

His quietness was all you needed as your answer. You shook your head and looked up at him, stroking his scar gently with your thumb.

“And you felt if you came back to me thinking I’ll let you back huh? You think that because she cheated on you it’ll make us relate on a different level and make everything better right? How’d it feel? It felt horrible huh? Like your heart was being ripped into two then stomped on.”

Shouto growled faintly and gripped your shoulders a bit tighter, opening his mouth to say something but you interrupted him.

“No. I’m not done fucking talking. I cried. I cried and cried for your sorry ass. You and I are not feeling the same type of pain. I loved you. She didn’t. I..I still love you” you whispered the last part under your breath

Shouto sucked in air as he tensed up. Time seemed to stop as the earth stilled. No one said anything. You missed the silence with him. Under different circumstances you would have enjoyed it. “You..you still love me?”

“Course I still love you!” You cried out and pushed him off of you, walking towards him as he kept backing up with each step you took. “But I can’t be with you. Part of me wants to forgive you and throw myself at you but the other half is telling me you’ll just do it again.”

“You think I would do it again?”

“I mean you did it the first time. So what would make it different from the next? Todoroki you just.. you need to leave.”

He quickly reached for your hands and cupped them, holding them to his chest. “I can’t lose you Y/N..” he whispered

“You already did.” You said coldly and pulled your hands out of his grasp. “What goes around comes around huh? That’s your karma now. Get out. I never want to see you again. I want the guilt to swallow you alive.”

He stood there unmoving, hands grasping around nothing as he looked up at you. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry. I hope we can start over again soon. I hope you can forgive me.”

You watched as Todoroki walked down the steps and into the dark night. It felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders but the hole in your heart was still wide and open. Closing the door till he was no longer in sight, you let your head fall against the wood, letting out a shaky breath that you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Goodbye Todoroki Shouto.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What Goes Around, Comes Around

#bhna #mha #bhna x reader #todoroki #todoroki shouto #shouto todoroki #todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #my hero academia #bokonoacademia #xreader #xreaderinsert #readerinsert

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simplysherlockfanfic · 8 years ago

Text

Connection Thirty Five

Connection. Read Chap One here. Two. Three Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty One. Twenty Two. Twenty Three. Twenty Four. Twenty Five. Twenty Six. Twenty Seven. Twenty Eight. Twenty Nine. Thirty. Thirty One. Thirty Two. Thirty Three. Thirty Four.

Sherlock x reader

An American forensic psychologist hired by Mycroft Holmes. You thought it would be more interesting and fulfilling than your previous job with a law firm in London but you had no idea how much it would change your life. Or really, how much one person would change everything. Word Count: 4441

A small corner of the table in the sitting room had been taken over by two of your textbooks, a notebook, and a pile of notes. To Sherlock’s credit, he hadn’t complained or said a word about your small workspace beside the chaotic organization of his open casework across the rest of the table. He had kept his things out of that small section where you once again sat reading and scrawling, refining and tweaking as your thoughts raced faster than your hand.

After your third visit to Sherrinford, even though she only spoke one other time, you had a thought that had been stirring and developing into a theory. It took you a few hours to find the right materials in your storage bins in the basement then every chance you got you were going through your books, making notes for everything that could be related, even though you were leaning toward a certain disorder, you didn’t want to pigeonhole her either. Too many had already done that to Eurus and even though you promised you wouldn’t come as a therapist, you couldn’t banish the thought that something had been missed all these years.

Sherlock’s socked feet barely made a sound but you were still aware of his easy stride into the room. You scribbled a notation along with a page number then glanced up. He had picked up his violin and stepped in front of the window but his eyes were on you. “Interesting case?”

Even though he had already approved and encouraged your thought process on his sister, you still felt a hot lash of guilt and something else that had been creeping along the periphery like a shy old friend. “Do you think this would even help? It’s not like anything I find or prove will give her a chance to leave that cave. Nothing I do can absolve her.”

He looked out the window as the violin found its home on his shoulder and he gently touched his bow to the strings but didn’t make a noise. A few seconds ticked by then his chin hugged the chinrest. “I think she’s been in the dark because the people who should have helped her have failed her for far too long.” He met your gaze, “it’s about time someone treated her like more than just a lab animal in a box.” He winked then began to play turning back to the window.

It took longer than it should have to place his reference but you made peace with your mental rehabilitation process and the time that it would take. Professor Harding and Shelly had been victims of Moran grabbing at straws to get you to show your face or maybe they had been a final request from Moriarty but either way, it had been a good thing you didn’t know about their deaths. You had never even thought to check on news from the states, all of your focus had been on Sherlock and John and you couldn’t really predict what you would’ve done had you known that the last sniper victims were the last two people you had contact with in the states.

It still hurt but not as much as it used to when the nightmares starring them would jerk you awake and you’d spend the rest of the night or morning trying to erase the haunting images. While you were still at Mycroft’s house, Sherlock coaxed you from the vivid nightmare’s grip and you finally opened up. He thought it got into your subconscious through a conversation he and Mycroft had outside of your hospital room. He hadn’t wanted to tell you until you were fully recovered and you understood his reasoning because had done the same with the images plaguing you at night so he wouldn’t have something else to worry about. The nightmares didn’t go away completely but you did gain some kind of control over them and they became few and far between before you left for Christmas. You couldn’t recall having one since. At least not with the intensity they used to carry.

Maybe there was something about Eurus that reminded you of Shelly, maybe that’s why you had been so taken with seeing this developing theory to the end. Even if she could never get out of there, she deserved to understand and to be understood. Your theory had been sparked by the person in that cell in the first place because she wasn’t the woman you saw on the street and she wasn’t the woman you saw on the tapes at Sherrinford.

The loud creak on the middle step of the staircase alerted you both to a guest. Sherlock only paused for a second before continuing to play and you briefly wondered if he was expecting anyone because you were sure John was with Vic today. There was only one set of footsteps then the distinct tap of a cane or rather an umbrella.

You glanced at the doorway from the corner of your eye and tried to recall if it had been open when you shuffled out just before dawn. Mycroft finally stepped through the doorway, “hard at work this morning?”

You turned to him with a smile but it faded at the all-business stance along with the stiff look. “Good morning. Coffee?”

He placed his umbrella in front of him and rested both hands on the handle as his gaze blazed at Sherlock’s back. “I’ve been told you’ve been taking a guest on these regular trips to Sherrinford.”

You tried to intervene, “Mycroft.”

“This is serious!” Mycroft snapped and the violin screeched before the tense silence.

Sherlock turned from the window bringing his violin down to his side, “there’s no reason for that.”

“There’s no reason for sneaking around.”

Mycroft was angrier than he should be and you couldn’t pinpoint why. “She’s a human being. She…”

“She’s a murderer!”

“She’s family!” Sherlock spit back.

“Yes, and we’ve seen first-hand what that means to her.”

Both men were now glaring at each other and you were surprised they had kept the distance between them. Mycroft’s contempt was so deep it was difficult to see past it now. He was just a child when the whole situation was put into play and he was only working off the belief that was placed in him along with the pain and fear that he experienced. You didn’t know exactly what he and his mother discussed but you’d been around him enough to know that he still didn’t forgive Eurus and at this point, it was unlikely he ever would. But she didn’t need forgiveness, she needed understanding. She needed to be treated like a human being.

You thought of the little girl you heard on the tapes from their hours spent inside Sherrinford and how Eurus used the ruse of a phone line when she allowed the child out. The stirrings of a theory as you watched her force them through different experiments to study their reactions to each stimulus. How the cold, detached woman shot an outsider just because she was the most important person to the man who controlled her captivity for so long and the polar opposite you heard in that scared and lost tiny voice.

“You’ve tried Uncle Rudy’s way, how well did that play out?” You reeled yourself back hearing that old anger seeping through each word. You walked over to Mycroft and laid your hand on his arm, “I’m sure he thought he was doing the right thing but plenty of doctors used that excuse for decades when there was no research, they gave out the only diagnosis they had. Have you ever stopped to wonder if your sister just became what she was told for years that she was? You were told this was the only way, you were just a teenager and uncle Rudy had no idea what he was dealing with. At the time, honestly, most psychologists probably wouldn’t have either but it’s different now.”

He inspected you, “you have a theory.”

You met his gaze and wanted to convince him, you just weren’t sure of what yet. “She’s still a child, partly, she’s that little girl. Her love for Sherlock was possessive, that love could’ve been corrupted without knowing, without understanding it became an obsession, very much like a stalker. She was a highly intelligent child who wanted to play with her brother and when she didn’t gain the possession of her object of desire, she took away what she perceived as the thing holding her back from it. Instead of dealing with that obsession, with the genius who would cut into her own skin to understand the inner workings, instead of helping her understand what that was and helping her move past it or learn a healthier or better way, she was locked up. That obsession with Sherlock never paled, she only became more set on it.”

You watched him file the information without a trace of revealing his own thought on the matter, you turned and looked through the window. “Years of forced solitude is more than cruel but worse is the problem was only allowed to grow and fester. I’m sure she saw a kindred spirit in Moriarty and reached out to him because of it. They were both obsessed with Sherlock and if he shared with her his desire for Sherlock to be him, to feel what it was like… She was given just another example of her own condition that made it more normal, made her more normal.” You looked over your shoulder and met his gaze, “she will never be released but she might be able to find peace and understanding, something that, if diagnosed and treated earlier, could’ve avoided all of this. We can never know for sure but you have to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“What do you mean she’s still… a child?”

“It’s very possible that the little sister you knew is still in there after what happened at Musgrave,” you glanced at Sherlock, “she may have fragmented, the scared little girl that couldn’t handle what she had done to her brother and the intelligent, cold hearted person you’ve been talking to for… possibly since she was sent away, maybe before. Dissociative identity, one separate from the scared little girl… with the way that Sherlock described finding her in Musgrave… and what I saw on the tapes from Sherrinford…”

“I thought you didn’t miss a thing? You’re…” He stopped short and disgust twisted his features as he looked down and away. The disgust clearly wasn’t directed at you, he was going to say you were slipping and he hated himself for it. You were at least eighty percent sure.

“You can see everything, Mycroft but you still don’t know why or how… without context, those emotions could mean too many things.”

“What?” Mycroft paled then shut down and the word Eurus used in the tapes played in your head.

You winced, “I have theories, I believe your sister may have dissociative identity disorder but that’s not enough for a diagnosis. You know my methods, you know it takes more than just a look. There are too many variables.” His jaw clenched and he looked away, “even you saw how she reacted when Sherlock turned the gun on himself in that locked room instead of shooting you. She couldn’t bare for him to be taken away from her and maybe that was the little girl grappling for control, I don’t know. Did you ever wonder if Sherrinford’s hatred for her and delight in torturing Sherlock was because he knew she loved Sherlock more than the lot of you? It’s also possible that she had fragmented even earlier and Sherrinford liked the cold hearted Eurus and tried to bring her out. Did she ever get upset when you called her Eurus or ask you to call her something else?”

His shoulders tensed and his eyes were hard when they met yours again, “and the alternative? Maybe she didn’t involve you or Will because if she wiped you off the board, he would be dead already and she wouldn’t be able to delight over his torture. You can’t underestimate her just because you always want to help the different ones especially the ones you feel have been slighted in some way.” He turned to the window, his jaw clenching and relaxing in a far too measured way.

He was right, it was something that lingered in your mind while you researched, the fact that if she truly was a psychopath instead of just one of her alters then she could play you by knowing enough of your past. The very thought had fed your doubt that had been wreaking havoc during research and at other moments. You softened your tone, “she will never be released, we won’t allow her to hurt anyone else, and she will never be able to hurt him again. Just give us a chance.”

He turned back and studied you but didn’t flash any sign of what was going on in his head.

“She spoke to her,” Sherlock added.

“What?”

“Eurus spoke to Y/n. It wasn’t much either time but I could see her thinking about what Y/n said. I’ve never seen anything on her face unless she was playing and reacting to the music.”

He turned away and looked out the window again. You glanced at Sherlock and noticed Will standing in the kitchen doorway watching Mycroft with concentration. Before you could say anything he walked across the room toward his uncle. “Will…”

Mycroft turned toward his approaching nephew then Will stopped in front of him and grasped his hand, “uncle Myk.”

Mycroft squatted down with a smile, one reserved mainly for his nephew, “you shouldn’t be bothered with this…”

Will squeezed Mycroft’s hand with both of his small ones, “every person has a story but we can’t know if we can’t listen.”

Your eyes widened and your gaze shot to Sherlock. He was already watching you, a soft smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He pointed at you and nodded.

“Love you, Uncle Myk.”

You tried swallowing the lump in your throat as you looked back at your son who was hugging his uncle. Mycroft’s wide gaze was on you. You realized what Will had seen that you hadn’t. Mycroft wasn’t just afraid of what she could do to Sherlock, but how she could hurt or affect Will, maybe somehow make him fear the rest of his family. The possible scenarios were endless and you couldn’t tell what exactly he feared but it directly connected to Will.

Mycroft’s mask was down and his vulnerability was almost blinding. “I wasn’t going to stop you. I just wanted to warn you and maybe… I should be there sometimes. I could make sure she wasn’t trying to manipulate you. She may not hurt Sherlock but she has no problem eliminating the rest of us. No more guests.” His glance to Will was clear, his fear palpable. Will did look enough like Sherlock at that age to cause worry, to give credence to Mycroft’s distress.

Sherlock scoffed but you nodded, never losing Mycroft’s gaze, “if you would like to. I won’t argue.” You glanced at Will, “we won’t let that happen. No one else will get hurt, not on our watch. Isn’t that right, uncle Myk?”

Will beamed up at him and Mycroft stood ruffling his hair. “Precisely.”

We grow, evolve, adapt, and change. If we don’t continue on after disaster, through the trials and hardships and learn from them, if we don’t adapt and change through the stages we all go through, then we stagnate and lose what keeps us going. We can lose what makes us… us.

We are all human moving through life searching for what feels right in that time and place. We’re all sifting through the mess that life can be and deep down, most of us are seeking connections; bonds that make us thrive, that make us happy, that fill the holes of what has been broken away by past hardship. Family, friends, and lovers. Some connections don’t last, some never forge, and some are cemented forever, but all serve their purpose in the greater scheme.

All of these types of bonds can be for the best or the worst and it can take time to weed out the ones that break us even more but when we’re lucky, at least one or some of those will be a bond that not only never breaks but helps to sever the poisoned ones. Those are the connections that make us stronger, bring us joy, and truly make the worst obstacles in life bearable. When you find those connections, protect them, nurture them, and above all, enjoy them because no matter how strong you are there will come a time when you need those people to get you through the day or night or even longer.

During your darkest night when the moon is nowhere to be seen, the stars will shine even brighter. Savor the bonds that give you life and light the way home because while the fear of death is survival, the fear of life is deadly.

You stared at those last two sentences biting your bottom lip and wrinkling your nose not quite sure what was bothering you.

“Still writing?” Sherlock rubbed your shoulders and looked at your laptop screen.

You leaned back and sighed as he worked out knots you hadn’t realized were building. “I can already hear what you’re going to say.” With a dramatic flair of your hands, you continued, “all life is pathetic and futile, we reach and grasp but what is left in our hands at the end?” You tilted your head back with a smirk.

He leaned down and his lips brushed against to your ear, “yes but that was before someone changed the script. I have more than John’s stories now, I have an inner circle, a legacy, and a woman who manages to confound me even when I can least explain it.” He pressed a kiss to your neck.

You stretched your head to the side, “I’ve told you it’s something much more powerful than emotion or sentiment.” He kissed again, this time sucking slightly on that one spot that stoked something deeper, waking something primal that couldn’t be ignored.

“Sherlock Holmes, are you trying to distract me or seduce me?”

“I thought they were one in the same?” You turned your head and kissed him. His hands traveled down your arms and captured your wrists as he whispered against your mouth, “what is this power you have over me?”

“I hold nothing over you but I do have something with you.” His brows rose in a comical irritation then he spun the chair, smiling at your sharp gasp and pulled you to your feet. He took your seat and tugged you forward until you climbed onto his lap. “A connection, like a live wire, that binds us together. A force that can withstand time and separation.”

He smirked, “fanciful science fiction.”

His fingers were painting invisible designs up your arms, the game was already on. The two of you had been playing it for years but more often and with a greater intent since your extended stay in the hospital or more likely due to the experiences just before that. “How do I still confound you and draw you in? You say you know the chemistry of love but do you truly understand?” You slipped your right hand along his neck until your fingers rested over his carotid artery. His eyes flashed delight along with the tug of a smirk. You brushed your left palm softly over the back of his hand and slowly advanced the feather light touch of your fingers up his arm. “Why does a simple touch cause your pulse to increase, your pupils to dilate?” You leaned in without losing eye contact, “it’s not that dark in here, Mr. Holmes. You should have that checked.” You winked, feeling the steadily rising pulse against your fingers matching your own.

“My body’s betraying me.”

“No, I just know how to speak its language.”

He watched you as his smile grew then he turned his head enough to glance at the computer screen, “what’s it called?”

“I was thinking A study in Connection. Or A breakdown of the psychology inside the adventures of Holmes and Watson.” He grimaced. “Yeah, I thought the connection one was better. And it’s all because of you. Not that you need any more flattery.”

“Mmm. I tend to inspire all sorts of blogs.”

“Not the book. Me.” His gaze flickered back and forth between your eyes then searched your face. You pressed your fingers to his lips before he could interrupt, “there’s something that you need… that I need you to know, something that needs to be said.” You glanced away as your plaguing thoughts of Mary’s final moments flitted through your mind; all the things she wanted to tell John and never got the chance.

Sherlock kissed your fingers and you swallowed the lump in your throat, gave him a soft smile, and moved your hand away from his mouth over to his shoulder. “After my parents, I never allowed any kind of meaningful relationship. I was petrified that I wouldn’t be able to endure that kind of loss again. For years, I went through the motions and gathered my achievements trying to fill the deep empty spaces left after their loss. I had nightmares that plagued me and some nights I went without sleep not because I was studying but because I was terrified to see what would be conjured that night. It wasn’t until you snuck into my life, you crept under my skin before I even realized it and when I finally did, I was terrified. It’s debilitating, that moment when you realize another person holds so much more than your heart in their hands. Like your very life force is at that person’s mercy whether they understand it or not.”

His eyes widened slightly yet remained focused on yours with a small pinch in his brow. “You stood me up on Christmas Eve.” Your words clearly affected him but didn’t ruin his good mood as his hands rubbed your back in a familiar soothing motion.

Heat flooded your cheeks, “yes, I did.” You dropped your gaze and leaned into him as that pull he always caused inside you tugged gently.

“I still got what I wanted. Took some time but persistence pays off.”

You chuckled with a roll of your eyes, “you got what you wanted? You weren’t really the dating type.”

“Yes, but I knew what you were.” His right hand brushed through your hair and you met his gaze. “It just took me some more time to catch up. My brain is extremely fast.”

“I didn’t really think about it until I was writing something up and thought about my time in the hospital. How you helped me through the nightmares. How you all helped me through the stress and recovery. How you, Sherlock Holmes, not only gave me a family but completely changed the course of my life.”

His eyes flicked back and forth between yours then his brow rose, “the fear of life…”

You nodded then slid your hand down to rest above his heart, “maybe I knew of it before I met you. I just couldn’t admit it.”

“So, you’re saying we were more alike than you first thought?”

“Well, I spent all my time helping others because I didn’t want to admit that I needed the help myself.” You raised your brow and he looked away but his smirk was answer enough. “Very much so. Interesting, isn’t it?”

“Less fanciful, I guess.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips and you followed him as he pulled back. He grinned, “I did tell you in those first meetings that there were no other men like me.”

“And here I was just thinking you reminded me of my father.” You burst out laughing at the look on his face until he pulled you back to his chest and his hand caressed your cheek.

He studied you, your skin tingled as your face warmed under his gaze and your lips parted. He leaned in, closing the space between you but his lips never met yours. You opened your eyes and the mischief sparkling in his threw you.

“Oh, by the way, John and Rosie are waiting downstairs with Vic and Will. We had dinner reservations, remember?”

“Shit!” The haze vanished and you reached over his shoulder, clicked save document accompanied by his groan in your ear as you slapped the laptop closed. You shifted in his lap and he groaned again grabbing your hips. You grinned, “you deserved that. I can’t believe you!” His delight flickered across his face and he gripped your hips tighter anticipating another movement, “you’re such a...”

He wrapped his arms around you and stood holding tight until you got your feet on the ground. “John’s the drama queen. Probably down there whinging about us taking so long.”

“You were stalling and taking too long.” The laughter couldn’t extinguish the tingling once again climbing up your arms and heating your skin. You were far too aware of the distance between his mouth and yours and the painfully demanding ache.

“I never consider alone time with you stalling. Well, most of the time.” He leaned down, rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. You shut your eyes and breathed him in, the mint on his breath mixing pleasantly with his aftershave and freshly pressed shirt. It was heady and his description of you being a drug completely understood in the moment. His hands expertly smoothed up your sides then slid around to your back and with just a gentle pressure, he pulled your body tight against his.

“We could be very bad for each other,” you whispered, deeply aware of how much your voice gave away.

His right hand moved up your spine while the other swooped down to your lower back slipping under your shirt. His right hand slowed as he reached the back of your neck, adding a bit of pressure to the tendon as he continued up into your hair and cradled the back of your head. You opened your eyes and met his heated gaze. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”

Epilogue

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