#i barely have any friends and have never dated someone irl

[angeltism]

nnnnnnnnno i'm crying to love songs again fuck

[punkeropercyjackson]

Is the Pjo fandom aware that Percy is like.......actually not a normal person.Not the demigod thing,i mean he's neurodivergent and has mental illnesses from trauma so his set of beliefs,thoughts,onward actions and tastes are completely different from society's ideals and norms.It's not like he acts the way he does as a joke or to look cool,it's kinda a big thing he can't stop acting like himself no matter what???It gives him self-eestem issues but it really is for the better for everyone involved because it makes him an actual role model for irl troubled kids who got to read him grow all the way up until adulthood alongside us and him never masking being potrayed as what made him the best and realest hero in the whole franchise

He's never been tempted to join the gods and talks shit to them because he has no interest in power and they're child abusers who run an oppressive system,not because he's a BAMF and 'sassy'.He dosen't try to cover up his 'sensitive' and 'soft' emotions because he thinks they're stupid,it's a defense mechanism from growing up with an abusive stepdad,ableist bullies and teachers and a society that expects peak masculinity from him despite his desire for femininity instead and there's a reason why almost all his friends in the og series were girls and he insults other guys based on being too manly

Related to that,her complete lack of romantic interest in Nico wasn't because she's 'a tragically straight boy' but because she's A)At least only partially a man(transfem bigender)and he's gay and B)Too old for him and has some damn decency so she loves and treats him like her little brother and pseudo-son instead and she shouldn't be expected to return his feelings,much less be called a bad person for not,when she never fucking said she likes him or flirted with him and he loves her as his older sister/brother and sees her as mom/dad back and she also proceeds to do the same with Hazel within ONE book of knowing her since she's in the same parental situation as Nico and she used to take care of Tyson before he moved in with Poseidon and of Bianca as well before she died

Her loving and dating Rachel at one point wasn't 'toxic' or 'unrealistic' or especially not 'one-sided',they were just two teenagers finding solace in eachother due to similar experiences and being happy to indulge in the other's interests to the point where it became some of their's too and y'all deserve to get smacked upside the head for having the AUDACITY to make fun of her when Percy was all over her and Jason more than he was Book!Annabeth's little femcel ass(not you Leahbeth,never you Leahbeth)and erase her to say 'Percy's type is blondes' as if any actual punk like Percy would be into someone because they live up to traditional standards and when she hates 2/5 of the blondes y'all are talking about(Luke and Apollo)and her demisexual ass barely knows 1/5 of them,them also having an actual canon bf(Magnus + Alex)

They never wanted to be normal or special,they wanted to be ACCEPTED.They're an outcast because they can't hide who they truly are even though none of what makes them different is bad but they're not this or they're so that so it can't possibly be actually good that they're the way they are and do the things they do and that's how they get treated in-universe AND by bloggers who have 'a woman's place is in the revolution' or 'Boykisser' on their theme but get squeemish at the thought of positive change or queerness that's not packaged shipping tropes.Percy Jackson's not suddenly 'the standard protagonist' instead of a staple of representation for freaks because you're a poser

[ambrosialdesire]

Congrats on 30 followers! :) Since you’re requests are now officially open I have oneeee.

Canon verse yandere childhood best friend Eren :) Maybe reader starts dating someone and Eren won’t accept having the love of his life be taken away from him.

(I’m not really sure if this is how to write a request btw.)

boundless

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 eren x fem!reader word count: 2k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, one-sided pining, childhood friends, kinda angsty at first ngl, implied non-con at the end, all characters are 18+ synopsis: you start dating and it's not the man that everyone had expected, the one who's been at your side since forever. love is a powerful emotion and eren has too much of it for you to ignore. a/n: thank you sm anon and this is a perfectly fine request! depending on how descriptive a request is somewhat affects the length of the fic :) btw this is pre-rumbling and pre-marley invasion (aka when eren was pretending to be a injured soldier). really bad and unreliable synopsis but hope this is a good read!! double posting today haha (mostly because i haven't posted in a bit lol) note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

The sounds of cutlery hitting the plates and the wooden table caused your cheeks to flush more, a hand rubbing at your nape as you began to avert your gaze from the group. Wide eyes were staring at you, as if you said something that was a complete shocker. God, this had to be worse than actually fighting Titans.

"You're what!?" Sasha was the one that finally broke the silence, hands slamming on the table as she got up from her seat abruptly.

"And to who?!" Connie followed suit, slamming his hands down but instead hitting his dinner, gravy sauce going everywhere. His face cringed at the mess but he still stared at you with seeming horror.

"Guys, it's not that serious."

"Bullshit, it's not serious! You're dating��"

"—And it's not Eren?!"

Your body tensed up immediately, realizing that he was the only one that barely reacted to your confession, still focused on his dinner as his now long brown hair marred the side of his face. A part of you felt nervous not being able to really know what he was thinking, the other part of you felt worried. Jean slapped the back of both Sasha and Connie's heads, a scowl on his face.

"Knock it off you two! Of course she wouldn't date him, we're talking about Eren for God's sake."

They started bickering with each other and you tried to resolve it as always, but every single sound and word started to muddle together like his head was pushed underwater. His fist clenched around his spoon, to the point where he could feel the metal bend to the shape of his hand. You didn’t pick him. He wasn't as nearly surprised as the others, mostly because he had already seen it coming, but witnessing it come true was a pain that was utterly indescribable.

Out of everyone, they had to be some random civilian that caught your eye. Someone who doesn’t know the true horrors of the world out there, someone who never struggled the same way you and he did growing up. Maybe he'd be fine if you ended up with Armin or fuck, even Jean was a viable option but no. You went off and found yourself some guy who didn't come close to understanding you.

It didn't make sense, Eren's been with you since the two of you could walk. He was the one that saved you over and over again by those bullies that taunted you and Armin, never minding the fact that Mikasa had to save everyone at the end of it. He was your shoulder to cry on, especially after everything that happened back when everyone was still young scouts. He was the one who sacrificed everything for you. Everyone in the squadron knew that the two of you were inseparable, like two peas in a pod. No wonder everyone was surprised that you guys didn't end up together but the Paths denied him the end he sought out for years, even if he had only seen the flashing glimpses of the inescapable future.

"Er— Ere... Eren. Hey Eren!" You snapped your fingers in front of his face, his gaze latching onto yours immediately. You always had such a kind look in your eyes, he's glad that it never went away despite what you've gone through.

"Your spoon." He looked down and saw that he completely severed the metal utensil in half, the indentations of his fingers prominent in the silver handle. The others were looking at him, puzzled and confused expressions on their faces. He knew what they were thinking. Why didn't you take a chance?

There was no chance to begin with. Eren was on the losing side of the game no matter what.

"Must've forgot how to hold a spoon. Remember what happened the last time I held one like this?" He mused, placing the broken halves down on the table. The more they quietly stared at him, the more he wanted to run out of the room with his shattered heart pieces. He dismissed himself out of the mess hall, saying that he was exhausted. They knew that he wasn't but none of them mustered a word of any sorrowful condolences, his frame disappearing into the shadows of the hallway.

The pitter-patter of running came up from behind him and he felt the brush of a hand against his, heart pumping back to life as he recognized the familiar texture of your skin. Eren looked beside him and saw you, smiling at him like you had no clue what was running through his mind. Breathlessly, you asked him a simple question.

"Rooftop?"

He nodded, letting you lead the way for him. Rooftop meant that you wanted to talk in the spot that you found for each other back when you two started in the Survey Corps, a flat area at the top of the building where the night sky was all that you could see. The rules were that you weren't allowed to bring anyone else up there besides each other and that you weren't allowed to go there without one another. Eren wouldn't admit it but he did sneak there every once in a while, basking in the memory of you and him being young and slightly naïve.

"You're upset." You finally stated as you settled yourself down on the floor, an old blanket covering the rough ground.

"I'm not."

"I know you are, you get all awkward about it instead of bursting out your feelings." He grimaced, was he really that predictable as a kid? Eren leaned himself back on the edge of the roof barrier, staring up at the sky.

"Are you... happy that I'm dating someone?" He could hear the hesitancy in your question, curiosity and fear intermingling. His hands clenched against the concrete, the texture scraping his skin. If he knew that this is what you wanted to talk about, he would've avoided you like the plague.

He took a slow inhale.

"What do you want to hear, the honest truth or an honest lie?" Eren heard you stand up and walk closer to him, cautious hands grabbing his and pulling him towards you.

"The truth."

You've always looked so pretty under the night sky, the way your eyes reflected the stars and the way the moon shone down on your form. He never told you because he was so scared of ruining what the two of you have. This was nothing like what he felt towards Mikasa or Armin. You were special, you were his. Now that he knew what lies beyond the future, he should've said something before. Would that have changed anything now?

"The truth is, I'm not happy. There's nothing you can say that will change my stance about it." You frowned and squeezed his hands before letting go of him, your warmth escaping him.

"Eren, you can't keep disapproving every man I'm interested in."

"Yes I can and I will. You've always had terrible taste, remember how you liked Bertolt back in training?" You gasped in horror, hitting his arm.

"Stop! I never want that to ever be brought up again and I only liked him because he helped me out that one time with the chores," There was a flush on your cheeks, embarrassed about how you once was ever interested in a traitor. "But I'm serious this time, this relationship is serious."

In all of his years of knowing you, serious was never a word that fit you. Eren rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning towards you.

"How long?"

"How long, what?"

"How long have you been seeing this guy?"

You started fidgeting your hands, your tell-tale sign that it's been a while and you're figuring out how to lie about it. You could never lie to him though, he'd always figure you out.

You finally sighed and relented, giving up on trying to say anything but the truth. "2 years."

"Fuck, so it was right under all of our noses huh?" His hand gripped against his sleeve, his voice almost shaking as he spoke. He thought that you trusted him with everything, whatever you tell him would be confidential. He would never snitch on you, he thought you knew that. Eren had to turn away from you because if he didn't, you would've witnessed the tears roll down his cheeks. He felt your hand against his back, slowly rubbing circles on his back.

He hated you. He hated the way you made him feel like a pile of mush. He hated how you pretended not to know that he loved you, not as the childhood friend but as the man who pined after you the minute he was able to comprehend what he was feeling towards you.

He hated your smile, that annoyingly beaming grin directed at him whenever and for whatever reason.

He hated your affection, how you pretended to truly care about him when you were off loving another man.

He hated your warmth, radiating like an everlasting sun and cheering everyone up as if you were a carbon copy of Historia.

With all the love he had for you, there was the same amount of hatred that came along with it.

Eren looked at you, turning his body towards yours and you looked at him. As if he was under a spell, he felt himself mouthing the words that he longed to tell you for years. Your reaction was unexpected, perhaps even completely expected. His cheek stung from your strike, your eyes big and wide as if a Titan just walked up in front of you.

"Eren, y-you don't mean that do you?" His hand rested on his cheek, his fingers digging into his skin.

"I meant every word," He uttered softly, suddenly grabbing your hands and pulling them close to his chest. "Do you feel it? I love you. I'll love you until my bones are nothing but dust, I'll love you until my lungs stop taking in air, I'll love you until the world falls apart. Please Y/N, I'm already forever yours. Will you be mine?"

There was only silence that came from you after his confession, the pounding reverb of his heart being the only thing he could hear. You pushed him away, a stunned and confused look reflecting in your moonlit eyes. He felt wounded, like you stabbed a blade even deeper into his chest.

"N-No, no. Eren, I'm already dating someone. You can't just say all of this now." Your hands gripped your uniform pants tightly, the fabric scrunching together. "You're too late."

He shakily sighed, pushing his hair out of his face. What he hated most about you was your ability to constantly deny anything that you didn't want to hear.

"I thought you might say that."

He was instantaneous, quick. You never reached the level of ability of being fast on your feet in sparring and you wouldn't ever beat him in it now. He pinned you down onto the old blanket, his hand gripping both of your wrists tightly together above your head as he rested himself in-between your legs. You fought back but he didn't budge, only pressing you harder into the ground. His other hand made quick work in removing your pants and undergarments, shoving your panties in your mouth to keep you silent. No one needs to know about the rooftop after all.

Eren's selfish, you've always known that he was. You just didn't know how deep it went, how his selfishness of what he had deemed was love for you dug in and rotted into his heart. You tried begging through the cloth, muffled and incoherent cries being the only thing that was heard. He clicked his tongue, dragging his thumb across your spit-slicked lips before giving you a light kiss on the side of your face.

"If I can't change your mind with words," Eren pulled back and drank in your partially nude body, admiring you as he watched tears form at the corners of your eyes. He placed his free hand over your mound, fingers barely inserting themselves into your folds, your body reactively shivering from his touch. "I'll fuck you over and over until you can think about nothing but me."

[outro-jo]

nct 127 at hogwarts (pt. 2)

paring: nct 127 member x reader

type: headcanon & blurb

summary: short stories about the nct 127 members time at hogwarts

warning: mark’s mentions injury, mentions of drinking in haechan

 a/n: everyone is aged down bc hogwarts is basically middle and hs. also if doyoung has a fear of sneks irl he doesn’t in this universe. quidditch positions only for those who i think plays

part 1

masterlist | info

——————————

pinterest said this was doyoung if it isn’t… it’s 3am

doyoung

house- ravenclaw

pet- snake

patronus- blackbird: a blackbird patronus is the epitome of intelligence, intuition, and deep thought. blackbirds are fiercely protective and will come to the aid of those it loves when most needed.

fav class- divinations

the holidays at hogwarts were by far your favorite time of year. you loved the way the great hall was decorated and enchanted for the season. though it was a challenging time with exams coming up, the overall excitement far outweighed any stress you may have felt. you were specifically excited that you were now allowed to attend the yule ball as a fourth year. it was a tradition that all of your family members had talked about for years growing up and it was finally your turn to go—that is, if you could ever get a date. the day was drawing ever closer and by now all your friends had dates. it started to feel as if you would have to go to the ball alone. you sat in the courtyard in your favorite tree, feet swinging in the air when a fellow fourth year walked under your branch, looking up at you. “hi, doyoung.” you greeted him. you remembered working with the ravenclaw on a project for your potions class. for him the memorable part wasn’t the good grade you got but that he finally had an excuse to talk to you. he can still think back to the sorting hat ceremony and how cute you were even back then. no matter how he felt about you, he couldn’t seem to get over his shyness enough to say anything to you. it was taking all the courage he had now (and a little felix felicis jaehyun made) to speak to you now. “hi, y/n. i have something i need to ask you.” he said desperately trying to calm his nerves. you hopped down from your perch and stood in front of him, waiting for him to go on. doyoung let out a deep breath and pulled a dark calla lily that he may or may not have stolen from taeil’s garden. “how did you know those are my favorite?” you nearly squealed. “oh, you said something a while back.” he mumbled. “i can’t believe you remembered that.” “i remember almost everything about you.” he said breathed out wistfully. “but not in like a creepy way, i promise!” you chuckled, “it’s ok, doyoung. what is it you wanted to ask me?” doyoung took another deep breath and stepped towards you. “will you go to the yule ball with me?” he held his breath. it felt like time stopped and the time between his question and your answer could have stretched on for life times. in reality, there was really no hesitation on your part. you felt that he barely uttered the words before you said, “i’d love to, doyoung!” an entire weight lifted off his chest and he actually smiled. you’d never seen the ravenclaw smile before and it was quite honestly the most adorable thing you had ever seen in your life. “really? amazing! i’ll see you then! merry christmas!” he said before rushing off before you could change your mind. there was no chance of you changing your mind. 

jaehyun

house- gryffindor 

pet- cat

patronus- newfoundland: with a calming presence and kind demeanor, newfoundlands are indeed a man’s best friend. If you have this patronus, you are probably one of the most loving, affectionate, and kind friends someone could have.

fav class- potions

quidditch team- chaser

you couldn’t have been more excited. as you ran through the crowded halls of hogwarts, there was only on thing on your mind: telling him. you spotted johnny first, unfortunately but it was only because he was so tall but thankfully jaehyun was usually close by with the other boys. “jaehyun!” you cried out, giving him just enough time to brace for impact. he opened his arms to you and pick you up into an embrace. “i’m guessing this means good news?” he laughed at your antics before setting you down. you nodded frantically, showing off the piece of paper in your hands. “i got an s on my owls!!” his face lit up before he pulled you in again. “that’s amazing! in professor markham’s class, too? not even taeyong got a perfect score on their exam!” he exclaimed. “thanks, jae.” the hufflepuff deadpanned but was swiftly ignored. “im so proud of you!” jaehyun said before kissing your cheek. 

jungwoo

house- hufflepuff 

pet- cat

patronus- otter: otters are nature’s fuzzy, cuddly, and friendly pets. Their curious demeanor makes them fearless, granted they also do not have many predators. If you have this patronus, you likely have a close circle of people you are loyal to for life.

fav class- art

jungwoo held your hand as he quickly led you through the dark halls. he came to you earlier saying he had found something and that you would have to sneak out past curfew to see it. leave it to jungwoo to find one of hogwarts many secrets. “allohomora.” he whispered the spell to the locked door before gesturing for you to go inside. in the corner of the dark room, you could barely make out the glass. jungwoo muttered a spell and you could finally see it clearly in the new light. it was a mirror. “go look in it.” he urged. you approached it cautiously and saw your own reflection. slowly emerging behind you was jungwoo’s reflection as he approached you, he placed his arms around your waist and began kissing your cheek. however, when you reached a hand up to touch his head you felt nothing. a gasp left your lips as you whipped your head to see that jungwoo was right in the spot you left him and not at your side as the reflection showed you. “it’s the mirror of erised!” you whispered breathless. he grinned as he nodded. “what did you see?” it was a loaded question. the answer could change everything but it was something that was always just bubbling just beneath the surface and it was just a matter of time before it was revealed. “umm… i saw…” you paused. “myself on a hippogriff.” jungwoo chuckled at you, “you do love your magical creatures. maybe hagrid can help you learn to ride one.” you smiled at him before turning to look back at the reflection. “yeah, maybe…”

mark

house- gryffindor 

pet- owl

patronus- leopard: those with a leopard patronus are outstanding leaders and people respect and look up to them. not only are they determined, but very friendly and easy-going as well.

fav class- defense against the dark arts

quidditch team- chaser

the world seemed to move in slow motion. one minute mark suspended in mid air and the next he was falling to the ground. you held your breath as you watched the coach rush out to the field where mark laid unconscious. it felt like forever before you heard them yell, “get him to the infirmary!” that was all you needed to start pushing through the crowded stands and rush to meet him at the infirmary. you stood watch at the edge of the room while the nurse tended to him. when she had finished, she turned towards you and nodded, allowing you to come to his bedside. your heart ached seeing him still unconscious and bruised, lying in the cot. she told you he would be fine and left the room. you sunk down into a chair next to the bed and slid your hand into his limp one to bring it to your lips. the next several hours were spent whispering silent prayers to gods you weren’t even sure you believed in but they were calls to bring your mark back to you. you never took your eyes off him. finally as the sky began turning golden, mark began to stir. his eyes fluttered open and as they adjusted he met your gaze. “baby?” he questioned groggily. the breath you had been holding for what felt like an eternity was released. “mark! i’m so glad you’re ok!” the tears you’d held at bay silently fell down your cheeks. “hey,” he shifted, bringing his free hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb. “i’m ok, baby, i promise. don’t cry.” you nodded, trying to smile through the tears. “everything’s ok now.” 

haechan

house- slytherin

pet- cat

patronus- weasel: what weasels lack in size they make up for in quick-witted intelligence. owners of this Patronus are spontaneous, playful, and intuitive. But they can also be a bit chaotic. (trust me, he wasn’t thrilled about it)

fav class- potions

quidditch team- seeker

the sky was painted in hues of gold and pink as the sun began it’s descent and though you needed to be back on hogwarts grounds soon you were certainly in no rush. haechan walked hand in hand with you as the pair of you stumbled along the dirt path back to your school with your bellies full of the sweetest golden nectar the three broomsticks had to offer. “i think you’re the prettiest.” haechan slurred. “no! i think you’re the prettiest!” you shot back beginning the argument that would stretch for the remainder of the trek. just before you stepped back in the grounds haechan stopped, “no!” you froze with his sudden sternness. he raised his hand to caress your cheek and suddenly the loopy feeling of the alcohol wore off. haechan dissipated the space between you, coming within inches of your face. the fading warm light danced on his bronzed skin making it appear luminous. his chest heaved slightly as whatever distance between the two of you began disappearing and his lips were pressed softly to your. your heart began to race with the touch and you hoped it would never end. all too soon he separated from you but your eyes remained closed and your bare lips chased after his. haechan chuckled at your display and commented, “cute.” that day you learned about a different kind of magic at hogwarts.

[cosmicalart]

Trope grading game

Thank you @artsyunderstudy and @hushed-chorus for tagging me in this.

Actually took me a little bit after work to fill this out as I don't usually think too heavily about why I like a trope, and sometimes I'm in the mood for a specific trope and will look for those tags exclusively, but most of the time I'll read anything that isn't a big nope for me.

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded 0 - don’t care either way +10 -> very enticed nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: -9

I wanted to say nope to this one, I’ve never really been in a ship/fandom that had any major age gaps, but ones with larger gaps or when one person is barely legal (18-20) it just puts me right off and gives me creep vibes. However, I didn’t give it a nope because there are some smaller age gaps that are fine, like Penny and Shep, if I remember correctly she’s 19 and he’s 22 when they met, an age gap like that is fine

Codependency: +5

Kinda hard to explain this one, it changes with the context but I do lean more towards being enticed

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +5

In cases like Simon and Baz, yes, 100% into that, but when it gets toxic or violent then I want nothing to do with it, there is nothing romantic about that

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +3

As long as that's not their defining trait, then I do enjoy seeing different dynamics where the characters balance each other out, plus I find even relationships irl tend to have some opposite differences to balance them out

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +10

Absolutely, I eat this shit for breakfast, but it does have to be done right (like Snowbaz) they have to bond and actually fall for each other, not just be physical attraction and that's it, you can’t just have the characters hating each other and literally trying to murder the other only to turn around and bang it out

Friends with benefits: 0

I’m indifferent, I mean if it ends with them being lovers and there's some angst then hella yeah, but if it’s just friends banging it out for no reason and then happen to date because of it then no thank you

Sex to feelings: 0

As someone who is demisexual, this is a bit hard for me to grasp, but that doesn’t mean I won’t read it, sometimes I’m just really in the mood for smut and this can have the potential for some good hurt/comfort

Fake dating/relationship: +9

Now I really love this if done well, and I have read some really good Snowbaz fics with this premise and wish there were more (I may attempt to write one myself but idk if I’d be able to do the trope justice), but it can sometimes feel a little surface level and frustrating in the “why don’t you just communicate and everything would be better” kind of way

Friends to lovers: +6

This can be really fluffy, or extremely angsty and I’m down for both

Found Family: 0

I like the concept in theory, especially for Simon, his friends are his family (and once he learns about his actual family them as well) but I see this as more of a platonic thing and not so much as a romantic trope, and it can a lot of times be used to gloss over the trauma from biological family when found family isn’t some magic bandaid

Hurt/Comfort: +10 For everyone who’s read carry on, do I really need to explain this one

Love Triangle: 0

Depends on the ship, technically there was a love triangle between Agatha, Simon and Baz. I like it in a more light-hearted way where no one gets hurt

Poly, open relationships: -5

I’m perfectly fine with open relationships, and certain situations get a pass (Someone wicked for example) but I’m pretty monogamous and when reading a ship I usually look just for those two characters. I will say in previous fandoms I have read really good poly relationships so I might read it

Mistaken/hidden identity: +5

I think this would be a funny trope that could be done more, if done right. I have read a few wrong number texting fics that I will count as mistaken identity and they can be great

Monsterfucking: +5

Depends, I have to be in the mood for smut and it has to be written well because it can very easily turn me away

Pregnancy: -9

Again, another one I wanted to nope on, I click out of anything with mpreg; that just isn’t my thing, if it’s a hot couple or the pregnancy is through surrogacy or something then I have no problem with it.

Second Chance: +10

I need this, this works with hurt comfort. Break-up fics destroy me so I need a second chance trope to mend my heart

Slowburn: +10

No explanation needed

Soulmates: +5

Can be really cheesy which is fine, but if it’s cheesy and just not written well then I have a hard time getting into it, but when it is done well then I love it.

Tags under the cut

I already tagged a bunch of people this morning for wip Wednesday, so I'm just gonna tag a few and leave this open-ended to anybody who wants to try

@cultofsappho @bean-mints @ionlydrinkhotwater @larkral @vkelleyart

[via-l0ve]

Hay there B) I'm interested in the silly lil 🎃 :D

Fandom Supernatural, of course! Don't be afraid to pair me up with someone who doesn't get as much traction or isn't the main two (of course, if I don't get one of the main two). :)

I'm an avid enjoyer of everything spooky and scary and hunting would definitely be something I'd do if I were in the SPN universe. I feel the loner but necessary alliances type, but I wouldn't be one to get too attached unless I felt a serious spark. Not against working with the same individual more than once, either.

I personally like to imagine my own self-insert as some "earth angel" or spiritually in-tune young woman who can read auras, emotions, feel what one feels, etc etc. I'm what others would call an empath irl (not in the super trippy spiritual way if thats what you don't believe in), I'm just super compassionate and empathetic. I don't know if that part's important, but as rough and violent as I can be (when need be), I'm all for peace and tranquility within one another. I'd always try to solve any tension rather than make it worse. I keep quiet, reserved and to myself unless someone I care about is hurt and needs someone, or if someone tries to start bs with me. I was always that mother friend.

My anger and my envy I experience typically come from not really having a normal childhood even in real life. I never got to experience high school dances, dates, or hell even an irl high school to begin with. Just homeschooling, barely even any real irl friends or social cues. I envy everyone who gets anything and everything they've ever wanted.

My taste in overall men (and women) can be kind of unstable. I'll love the hero, but I'll also fall hard for the villain. My red flag is I think I can ease the villain's heart. No matter how clingy, or obsessive, or dickish they are. I'm also kind of obsessed (shhhh don't tell anyone...)

My hair is long, wavy and dirty blonde. My eyes are kind of sad, down turned like Blue Diamond's from SU. I like to dress in many different styles, if I'm feeling it but typically I go for something simple. Long, flowy skirts, blazers, t-shirts, flannels. If I'm feeling nice, a pretty white dress with pearl headbands. Or I'll try to look like a school girl coming home from a long, tiring day from dealing with her bitchy teachers and even bitchier classmates. Either light or dark, it depends on the mood. I'm also Christian.

I'm obsessed with true crime, demonology, mythology, and other spooky stuffs. I also enjoy writing, reading fanfics/novels, the occasional sketching and drawing, and I also wanna look into making custom dolls. I've looked into white magic before, attempted it a few times in the past. I'm a huge music fanatic, all genres (yes, even country...), but I typically listen to shoegaze, noise, metal, rock, and goregrind. Anything with screaming, distorted vocals, distorted/soft guitar, or no vocals at all, basically. (Examples being Duster, Deftones, Ghostemane, Giles Corey, Have A Nice Life, In This Moment, Birthday Massacre, etc)

I'm into some pretty dark shows and movies. I'm not in many fandoms, I don't see my own SPN self in many either, but I've seen a fair share of fucked up films. A Serbian Film, Dog Tooth, Lolita, The Handmaid's Tale (mainly the show), Miss Violence -- I watch them for comfort from my own trauma, and I see myself doing the exact same thing in SPN. My twisted past with ex boyfriends and abusive family members are probably what's gotten me head over heels, reeling over villainous characters that could snap me in half if they wanted.

I just want to be loved.

Anyways, I hope that's enough for you! I kind of overshared, but I hope it's alright! TL;DR I just want someone, anyone to love me for who I am and enjoy some of my hobbies. Take all the time you need, I understand your box might be full as hell.

first of all i love you so much and you absolutely deserve to be loved and worshipped because you’re beautiful and worthy of love and acceptance and care <3 (if you ever want to talk more my inbox is always open)

with that being said:

i ship you with cas :)

i know you said to not be shy to ship you with someone who isn’t the orig/main few, but i got heavy castiel vibes from you <3333

i think that he’s be drawn into your quiet but badass energy. how you want to diffuse traumas or tension before it even happens, but he also sees you on hunts as such a badass demon killing person. he also finds it fascinating how empathetic you are.

he loves all of your hobbies and often will sit next to you while you write or read. when you mention custom dolls he will freak out and absolutely ADORES watching the process.

he thinks you’re gorgeous. your blue eyes match his and your hair mesmerized him.

i also think that you guys can bond over traumas. while you have childhood based and family/ex-lover trauma, castiel definitely holds some trauma in thinking he’s not good enough or things from the other angels in heaven.

you guys balance eachother out. you teach him so much and you guys have the cutest little dates, the type to be up until 4am having deep conversations.

castiel also isn’t a rat and you deserve someone who isn’t a rat <33

[max1461]

.

not feeling super ok right now.

no sleep, eating weird, still have this bad toothache

still struggling with pandemic-induced brain badness and it's impacting my ability to be normal at this grad program. like I'm mostly getting the work done just fine but I missed a lot of class last quarter and had no social life because it's basically a nightmare to get myself out of the house. also have completely lost my ability to focus on anything so homework takes like 3-4 times as long as it did in undergrad. just fucking miserable still to do everyday normal tasks, even though it's probably two orders of magnitude less intense than a year ago

increasingly worried I will never talk to [person] again, or at least never in a meaningful way, which kind of makes me want to die die die die die.

literally 1 irl friend who I talk to on a weekly-ish basis, rest of my irl friends are just, idk, otherwise preoccupied...

just so not myself due to the brain badness, just can barely get out the door so I always feel like shit and I look like shit. trying to work out again but it's so fucking hard. just feel like shit look like shit. dating app profiles using 4 year old pictures now which is probably, like, deceptive or something. whatever, not like I'm actually gonna meet any of those people anyway

and then last week I learn that my dog has cancer and I just genuinely felt like I wouldn't be able to live any longer. idk. luckily I guess the prognosis seems to be not too bad, and she's very old already, so the vet said it may not shorten her life expectancy. which basically means, well...

literally if she passes away I would like to vanish out of existence please.

idk why I'm even posting this. it's none of anybody's business. just feel like I'm going to explode if I don't tell someone.

I'll be fine don't worry about me. I am not going to kill myself because I have various commitments and loyalties remaining here on earth. but I may be 90% zombie at this point and feel like I could become 100% zombie any day. whatever.

[v-anrouge]

exposing myself on the internet for a character assignment go brrrrr

also: *sweats in aroace*

Okay so I possess a distinct lack of hobbies because ✨ mental illness ✨ and also I am a total hikkineet. I do however, have less active hobbies like drawing, painting, reading/writing. I do enjoy rewatching Musicals from my childhood whenever I’m feeling down or generally empty. Some faves would be “The Sound Of Music”, “Mary Poppins” and “Anastasia”. Ya boi likes singing along with em even though I am terrible at it hehe ❤️

God okay. My personality. Uhh. I have a lot of feelings (and cry a lot) and I am extremely affection starved so show me positive attention and compliment me and I am fucking worshipping the ground you walk on so.. affectionate? I guess. Also Kind of quiet. I’m in my head a lot, and I have anxiety about voicing my opinion and thoughts to people. Especially irl. I’ll usually just remain silent or provide a few comments but otherwise mainly a listener. But if it’s a special interest and I can see that you are actively listening to me instead of waiting for me to stop talking I’ll turn into a walking Encyclopedia about Said thing. I do love physical affection but only when I am in the mood for it lol.

Giving love language is acts of service and gift giving (flashbacks to the time I offered to buy you something even though we barely knew each other). Receiving love language is words of affirmation probably idk i have 3 irl Friends outside of Family so my experience on the matter is limited.

Also people who are audibly/visibly angry will set off my fight/flight/freeze response and I will physically distance myself from them due to discomfort/fear. I’d also definitely go non-verbal as a result. This would be a time where touching me could result in a panic attack/me just crying lmao

Okay bare with me here because I have never actively considered my type so I’m only really thinking about it now

Type wise, perhaps someone kind but firm, I’d say? I lack a lot of motivation, self-discipline and self-respect, so a partner who is gentle, accomodating and understanding of my situation but isn’t afraid to call bullshit when they see it would definitely be preferable. Also direct communication because I CANNOT read between the lines. And.. someone who would go places with me. Not even for like the cute coupley things like Dates and Shopping or whatever (though that would be great too) but literally as a Support Person for stressful situations like dentists, doctors and other such appointments. Lord knows I need it because I stutter so badly when talking to strangers irl and stare straight at the ground and go silent when I inevitably become embarrassed at my lack of social skills💀 I don’t really have a strong preference for any hobbies a partner might have, but it would be cool to watch musicals together. And dress up and stuff. Maybe even cosplay. Idk just Indulging in each others hobbies would be fun. Also I struggle with like, mobile(?) communication and find it difficult to take the initiative to start text convos or call people, so they’d need to take the lead on that otherwise I may accidentally end up ghosting them. Not maliciously, but as I said, ya boy is stuck in his own little world a lot.

Also my favourite colour is green! HEX Code : #9AEEC8 (this probably wasn’t necessary but teehee)

And if a partner can’t handle spice I will constantly give them shit for it but in an affectionate way ❤️

(THIS WAS SO LONG IM SO SORRY IDK HOW TO SHUT UP WHEN PPL GIVE ME ATTENTION 😭)

THIS IS PERFECT ACTUALLY U GAVE A LOT OF DETAILS VERY IMPORTANT DETAILS AND THAT MAKES RHE JOB WAY EASIER!!

I match you with...

ROOK HUNT let me start this off by saying that this can be taken in both a platonic or romantic way and that in either way u and rook are like made for eachother im serious like u two are fucking inseparable, rook absolutely adores everything about you, you two have A LOT in common and he LIVES for it, rook and you can constantly be found almost sobbing over eachother and how much you mean to eachother, you two are so close people consider u both goals (couple or friendship it's up to u). rook is absolutely sure you two are soulmates he has never felt so connected to someone like he feels connected to you

rook loves spending time with you he adores talking to you even if to other ppl it might seem like he's being ignored rook knows he isn't he knows that you are listening intently to him and he loves it, most people hate it when he starts talking to them since he talks A LOT but you? you don't mind it! you stay there and listen to him ramble and sometimes even join him! rook always feel so warm when he manages to make you feel safe enough to ramble and infodump him and he'll be very happy if you allow him to do the same in exchange you two have a lot of interests in common and love talking about them to ppl that actually care so this normally ends w u both talking for hours non-stop and not even noticing as time goes by (not u two talking about vil for 5 hours straight)

rook absolutely adores your works, wether it's a drawing, a painting or a piece u wrote he'll love to see it, he could spend hours talking about your works seriously it became one of his special interests his ur number 1 fan now he'll always hype you up and even do some of them with you (like painting and reading together etc)

rook swears he can feel his heart exploding in his heart when u give him a gift this man won't stop smiling as he goes on and on about how much he absolutely adores you and how much he loves the gift and how he's so honored and happy to receive something like that and there's literal tears on his eyes as he does so, rook feels so happy when you offer to help him too, it means he gets more time to spend with you! and rook loves spending time with you<3

if you like words of affirmation than rook is the man for you, this man constantly writes poems about you and the special connection you two share and even though he has written multiple of them somehow they never ever look the same it's always so fresh as if it was his first time writing something like that, it also never fails to make you smile rook is very observant so he'll def know what makes you smile and he WILL be making a LOT of use of his privileged knowledge

rook knows how you get when someone is mad and being loud about it so whenever rook feels an situation escalating he'll immediately take you away from it and make sure you're okay, if rook ever happens to arrive to late he'll do his best to help you calm down, rook is super patient and even if you go non-verbal rook somehow still always know what to say and what to do, if you like company in times like these rook will not leave your side, he'll constantly be making sure you're feeling alright and comfortable and paying attention to your body language if you can't speak

rook will always encourage you to try new things at the same time he'll immediately take you out of any situations that make you extremely uncomfortable, for rook it isn't easy to trust people, however he trusts you, and he wants you to trust him back so he wants to be there for you, to show you he will always be by your side to support you and he wishes that you feel the same towards him

if you want to talk to someone or ask for anything but you're too nervous because they're a stranger rook will offer himself to do it for you, he has no problems doing that for you, rook would never shame anyone for not having good social skills because rook himself used to be very shy as a kid and he understands how hard it can be to talk to strangers

rook LOVES to watch and re-watch musicals with you! it's one of his favorite things to do, rook feels so happy when he's watching a musical you two like by your side he truly wishes that moments like these lasted forever, because there is no place rook would rather be than by your side

other possibilities: vil ( u two are like made for eachother seriously as i read ur info i was like omfg it makes sense why you love vil so much) lilia, cater & malleus

[wheeboo]

congratulations on 1k!! 🥰

my question for you is: if you could you put yourself as the main character in any of your fics, which would it be and why?

join the celebration!

THANK U SM OMGG <33

also this question is just ... WHY ??? this is so hard because i would love to be the main character in nearly all of my fics LMAOO. okay but since i literally cannot choose just one, i'll choose 2 of them which are: seasons w/ jeonghan and catnaps w/ wonwoo. also i'm gonna go on a lil rant i'm sorry pls bare with me </3

seasons is like the definition of what a relationship may appear over time, and i absolutely loved the concept when writing it because it is what i envision to be how a relationship naturally develops! there's always the dates and getting to know each other in the beginning, then the honeymoon phase where both parties are content, happy, and cannot get enough of each other, then the phase where you both are doing your own thing and clash together which might lead to some potential arguments, then the phase where you both find balance in each other's lives. this is the kind of relationship i want to experience, because i've made note in the fic how communication is soo important in order to maintain a healthy relationship. also jeonghan in this fic is just so domestic and fluffy this fic has a special place in my heart tbh <3

catnaps is the kind of thing that i wanted in high school but i never got. the mc is this fic is essentially ME: the kinda awkward, ordinary girl in high school who knew lots of ppl to be acquainted with but not entirely close enough to hang out of school with (i did have a group of close friends tho, so its okay!). i was also incredibly stressed during senior year of high school which is where the fic takes place in and had sm pressure from peers and family for what i want to do in the future... yeah it was such a fun time for me (plus i did put academics over relationships because seeing my friends around me get into them and break up for reasons made me absolutely despise relationships in general). ANYWAY, just like the mc in the fic, they have a crush on wonwoo but never does anything about it. whenever someone shows a liking to them (or me irl tbh) their first instinct is to run away because they believe the other person deserves better. putting myself in the shoes of mc i def would have acted the way they did whenever faced with this kind of situation, but in the end, it all works out anyway... but not for me 😭 HOWEVER ITS OKAY, because i am perfectly content with where i am rn in life (tho admittedly very touch-starved lmao) <3

i hope this make sense because reading over what i just wrote rn it feels like a jumbled mess and does not make sense lmaoo

thank u for the question tho <33 it was a good one too

[rubyleaf]

Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

the reason why I think that Jimin might be cautious of what he says about Jungkook is that it's in his personality to talk about him. among the members, it's Jungkook who he's eager to talk about or he'd have side comments. so seeing changes about him makes me think whether he's just guarding what he says. I'm used to Jungkook keeping mum about him so the constant mentioning of his name is a surprise, even if it's not alluding to them hanging out. I remember when he had IG he has never interacted with Jimin, never liked any photo. even in the early lives I can't recall him mentioning Jimin in passing, maybe barely. but 1 live for him? and he certainly doesn't look forced or bored. it's funny when he told army in the chat that he won't read comments and he did barely read them.I guess it paid off. he's #2 in brand reputation. lol

Jimin has mentioned Jungkook a lot of times, and it was always random tidbits, or how he practiced this or that with Jungkook. But that was always while BTS was the BTS we knew. We knew they were spending time together, even if it was just for schedules. So I just honestly believe he's not mentioning him that much because there isn't much to talk about. If you spend a lot of time with someone, you have anecdotes with them, they're fairly present in your mind because you're around them a lot. If you don't see them often, you don't share that many activities with them, then it's just natural that you won't have much to talk about them. And I think that's how things are right now. Or at least is a valid, logical possibility to consider.

In fact, not too long ago in one of his lives before FACE was released, Jimin made a comment about JK which was suspicious to me because it was in the past tense. Jimin talked about how he'd realized he can't text and speak to people irl at the same time, and he said something like "back then, Jungkook was the same and I thought he was ignoring me on purpose". The words "back then" were surprising to me.

I think also people are hyperfocused on what he says about Jungkook or if he even talks about him at all because they're trying to prove that they're still together or whatever. But Jimin doesn't talk about anyone, actually. As I've said in another post, it's not like Jimin talks about anyone else. There would nothing suspicious in him talking about Jungkook, anyways. Maybe there's just nothing to talk about.

Jungkook is seen literally several days a week out and about having dinner. Does he talk about them? No. So if seeing someone and not mentioning them means they're concealing something and trying to hide a personal relationship, then Jungkook must be dating half of south Korea. I'm sure Jimin too goes out on his own or with his friends and he's not seen, but he doesn't talk about it either. Jimin went to a football game with Hoseok last year and neither of them posted about it.

That's what I have a problem with. I have a problem with this conspiracy theory that has settled that because Jimin doesn't talk about Jungkook, MUST mean They're being privet and closeted couple struggling to live in a homophobic oppressive society. Let's just stablish for once and for all that neither Jimin or Jungkook talk about which people they meet. It is regular behavior for ALL BTS MEMBERS. As I've said a million times too, taekookers thought that taekook were never seen together because they were a secret couple but the truth is that they just didn't meet often because they were NOT dating. Most times the truth is as simple as that.

I think it's also useful to look back and realize how much "off schedule" content there has actually been through the years and most importantly what was the source of said footage. Were they seen? Did they talk about it? Did they post about it? And realize that it's not much different from how it is right now.

I had to block this person because they kept insisting about the privet off schedule couple and didn't care to understand my point, but all the content you have ever seen about jikook always came from the company. Period. I'm not saying it was a lie, I'm just saying that's where everyone got their interactions from. Look at jikookers now, crying and throwing up because they don't hang out, because a year has passed since the last time they were seen in the same frame. And realize that the difference is that there's no more source for the content, because the source used to be bighit content, official content. The source for ALL jikook "moments" has been BTS content, and it stopped the moment BTS content stopped too.

And this one just to point out how Jimin hasn't really been acting strange, at least for me.

[mintywhale]

My love life atm

Should I be putting this out onto the internet, maybe not but I want to get it off my chest somewhere and since this is my shitpost space I thought this would work. And if you know me irl (aka only Kat), you know who Im talking about.

I’ve been in a situationship with this guy from back home (I moved ~5-6 hours away but he stayed in my hometown) since like April or May 2022 and last night I found out that he has a girlfriend now. I don’t hate him for it at all cause we were never exclusive with one another but it doesn’t stop it from hurting. Like I’ve never experienced heartbreak before and wtf it physically hurts. 

I really did and still do like him, he’s an amazing person that I felt like I instantly had a connection with. I don’t want to tell him that I feel hurt this way (at least not yet) cause I don’t want to ruin any relationship/friendship that we have now and I don’t want to loose him as a person in my life. I still care for him and I’d rather be friends than cut him off and loose him. I was giving him advice about a situation involving his gf last night and his friends (his gf did nothing, the friends were in the wrong) and I acted like nothing was wrong while I felt like I had a hole in my chest where my heart once was. After a night of sleep I feel better and in a better head space than I was.

He’s made it apparent that he’s moved on but I find it hard to. On top of still liking him I don’t make crushes very easily, I’m pretty sure my elementary to middle school life really put me off dating and having crushes. Not to mention the fact that I’m socially introverted and since moving I’ve only met and talked with 4 guys and the rest being girls that Im not romantically interested in at all (Half of the girls that Ive met here are d!cks). Out of the guys 1 is a psychopath, 1 I see as more of a younger brother and don’t talk to anymore, 1 is leaving next semester, and 1 I barely talk to. 

At this point I swear I’m born to be alone in life. I’m generally fine with that but most of us want just someone to be there for you and that you can call ‘yours’ and that’s the part that hurts. I’m sure a friend can fulfil that but I don’t have any close friends here that I could have that with. My only super close friend (childhood best friend) is great but she even says that she’s not the greatest person to talk to about issues and she hates other people physically coming near her. 

Welp time for me to start from scratch and be single for the next 5 years

[diaryofabrokegirl]

Dating at 31 in the 21st century. 

Long has past the day I thought I was going to get married. Growing up, I always thought I was going to be married by the latest, 27. That is the age my mom had me, which for whatever reason was the last year my juvenile mind gave me to get married. While I crept up to 26, my life was nowhere near where I thought it would be. I was back living at my dad's house, back in university, casually dating guys I knew I wouldn't be spending forever with. Fast forward to 31, I am no longer living with my dad, I am in a new city ( well not really new, but new in the sense that I haven't lived here in over 6 years). I am running two businesses while completing a master’s degree. 

Dating isn't my top priority, but I also know I am not getting younger and doing things with a significant other at times seems better than doing them alone. I have spent the majority of my first year in this city finding myself (for the 6 millionth time), casually dating (mostly dating app dates), and trying to make enough money to survive ( yay Victoria living). Since I dont have a lot of free time, I have pretty much scratched off the notion of running into the love of my life at a coffee shop. I am also not a huge fan of going to bars, add in the barely having any friends here situation and there really only leaves one place to find people; dating apps. 

I am no stranger to these apps. I use 3 in particular. Each of these has its own reputation, after listening to what other women have said, Tinder is a great app to meet up quickly and get laid. Hinge an app to meet a potential significant other. Bumble is a mix between the two, I am still undecided on if I even like this app. I have met people from all 3 apps and feel like I am almost ready to give up on dating and really settle into my spinster cat lady status. 

Up until the beginning of this month ( the month I turned 31), I was cooling down on dating apps. You might say the nerves of being 31 and alone crept up on me, but I logged on and tried my luck again. I updated my profiles and decided to start the swiping game. I matched quickly with people on each app and decided I would give 4 guys chances. Dwindling down my choices was strategic, I went with two guys that were not my usual type, one that I thought might be out of my league, and one guy that I was definitely my type. I did keep talking to some randoms, just in case. 

Immediately, I found the two guys that were not my type. We matched and they were very active in talking to me. One I met up with and after our dinner, I unmatched and gave him an “I'm sorry, I'm not interested” text. The next guy was actually sweet. We went out a couple of times, but after a few hangouts, he started showing controlling vibes, which I’m not here for so I let him know my thought and have been slowly ceasing communications. I won't lie, because I myself am a bit strange and unusual, I thought maybe I would end up with someone super, not my type and maybe opposite than me. One was from Tinder and the other from Bumble. 

The man that I thought was out of my league, was not, he was just pretty. This guy was actually a jerk. I knew from the moment I sat down for brunch, I was never going to be speaking to him again. This guy knew the right things to say via text, but his IRL personality sucked and he was rude to the waitresses so, hard pass. I met this guy off Hinge. 

This brings us to the last guy, coincidentally the guy I decided to ask out on a last-minute date after I found out some good work news and wanted to go for a beer. This was the only guy I didn't do a hardcore CIA deep-dive into. I decided I would meet him at the brewery down the road, where I personally know a lot of the people who work there. So if anything weird happened I knew I’d be safe. This guy is a charmer. He is not only funny and good-looking but down to earth. Not sure why I didn't start with him- haha. BUT here is where the issues come, dating in the 21st century as someone with anxiety is BRUTAL. We had a great date, it went on past the brewery and into dinner and music bingo. Now two days later, I’m being that weirdo sitting by the phone wondering if our last communication ( this morning) would be our forever last messages. 

Ghosting is single-handedly ( in my eyes) the most terrifying action that has happened in dating. If you’re new to dating right now, here is a quick update: Ghosting, also known as simmering or icing, is a colloquial term which describes the practice of ending all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said person. Or could it be that he is also just casually dating others? Or did it not go as well as I thought… see what I mean, dating sucks. Another part of this that is brutal is that I dont have many girlfriends, so I dont really have many people to talk to about this.

There seems to be a list of no-nos/advice when it comes to dating that I’ve come to learn from girl groups on Facebook. 

If you message first in the morning, let the other person message you first after any type of break in communication. 

Dont message first more than two times in a row. 

Dont message too fast after a long break in communication ( 1+ hours). 

If they respond with a singular emoji, it could be a sign that they aren't into you. 

Going over this list, I am trying to follow it, since it's something I've never followed before. SO far it has me anxious and hoping he messages me back. So anxious, that I decided I’d start blogging again. 

To anyone else sitting in the same boat as me right now, I wish you luck and hope it works out.

[transgenderer]

@kata4a tagged me

What was your:

Last beverage: coffee this morning, unless water counts. im gonna have some cranberry juice with lemon soon. so good Last phone call: i dont have phonecalls often! probably IT at my job. maybe a tinder dude like a week ago Last text message: tinder dude ive been talking with, he seems cool so far Last song you listened to: golden jackal song! what a great song. Last time you cried: like a week ago i cried right after work in the bathroom. not sure why

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: my first boyfriend! we broke up and then briefly got back together a couple months later. god. that relationship was bad in such a boring way, i was just desperate but wasnt particularly into him Kissed someone and regretted it: not really? i mean. ive had bad kisses. but its never caused like Consequences Lost someone special: like, they died? nah. i alienated my long distance best friend when i was in like 9th grade and havent talked to her since. bummer Been depressed: lol Been drunk and threw up: ive never thrown up AFTER getting drunk but for some reason last year i vomited on the WAY to the wine garden. i think i overexerted myself or something?

List 3 favorite colors: hmm green, orangey-pink, like teal/turquoise

Last year, have you:

Made a new friend: hmm. sort of? ive gotten much closer with people i hadnt been close to before. idk if ive like properly befriended any totally new people? idk. its ambiguous Fallen out of love: i mean, sort of aidan? i was never really in love with him :/ Laughed until you cried: i think so? idk if i do this Found out who your true friends are: is this code for "been betrayed"? weird. i havent been betrayed Found out someone was talking about you: my friends talk abt me sometimes i love it :) i love it when people talk abt me. i love it when ppl on here mention talking about me irl. Anyone on your fb friends list? facebook more like fakebook

General:

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?: (facebook fakebook)

Firsts:

First surgery: when i was a baby i had my thumb stuck at a right angle! they had to like. cut a tendon First piercing: i dont have any piercings! First best friend: girl from preschool who lied all the time. so weird and bad First sport you joined: i did t ball when i was real little First vacation: my parents took me to hawaii when i was reallly little i think

Right now:

Eating: pbj for dinner :/ Drinking: just water I’m about to: post, I guess (i second kat)

Your future:

Want kids: hard no Get married: hopefully! Career: hopefully math PHD and then yknow. do something with that. probably not in academia

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: hmm, lips probably, i dont usually look at eyes lol. i feel like face is about the hole tho... Hugs or kisses: probably hugs? kisses are nice too but theres something so safe... Shorter or taller: taller :/ kind of a woman moment Older or younger: older, double woman moment. gender Romantic or spontaneous: this is a weird dichotomy. spontaneous i guess? Nice stomach or nice arms: arms! love arms Sensitive or loud: sensitive Hook-up or relationship: relationship! or at least, yknow. more than once Trouble maker or hesitant: troublemaker

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: depends if you count tinder boys i barely no Drank hard liquor: yeah Lost glasses/contacts: ha i dont need glasses. fucking poindexters Sex on first date: literally dozens of times Broke someone’s heart: yeah... :/ Arrested: nope! ive been like, accessory to a felony tho (cooking DMT) Turned someone down: loads Cried when someone died: i think my great grandma? Fallen for a friend: yeah...

Do you believe in:

Yourself: i guess? idk really know what this means Miracles: ofc not Love at first sight: i mean...idk, i feel like this is weirdly undefined as a concept. like, obviously you cant KNOW someone on first sight. you can know someone after a first meeting, mabe... anyway you cant love someone you dont know Heaven: lol nah Santa Claus: no? Kiss on the first date: yes? Angels: no

[coolfire333]

More demiaroace thoughts but it's a really long post I won't subject any of you to I'm just kinda rambling and getting my thoughts out.

Tldr: I've tried looking for demiaroace spaces but sometimes even then they lean "too allo" or "too aroace" for me to be able to connect with, and it's all so alienating sometimes being in spaces that are just bi or just aroace. I don't really know what I'm looking for but I'm not finding it.

For real though like being demiaroace is hard. My boyfriend jokes about "me and the bi gf staring at the big booba goth girls together" (which is funny to me, don't worry) but honestly it's not accurate. I don't really experience physical or romantic attraction based on looks at all.

Like I'm able to identify (I think?) what a "conventionally hot" person is, but to me it's more like if a lesbian had to point out the hottest man in the room. Like it's just an educated guess really, and it's not like the lesbian is gonna be fantasizing about how hot that guy was all week, because she's not attracted to him, she just recognizes that to some people he'd be considered hot.

Another thing is that I honestly am not sure if I've ever had a real crush before. All my "crushes" were on close friends of mine, and eventually they faded away after a few months. I had to pretend to have crushes when I was younger because nearly all my peers thought there was something wrong with me when I insisted I didn't feel that way about anyone.

I tried dating someone I didn't know well, once, before my current boyfriend. It went terribly. I forced myself to go on the date because "you never know what'll happen" even though I was petrified about going on a romantic outing with someone I barely considered an acquaintance.

When my current boyfriend asked me out, we'd been friends for a couple of months, and we had a lot in common and had become pretty close. He wasn't unattractive, and he was very nice and friendly towards me, but I had zero attraction towards him at the time he first asked me on a date (don't worry he knows this).

I knew him well enough to actually mean it when I said "oh ok!" to his proposition, because something felt more relaxed knowing that we were already friends. But I really didn't feel anything romantic towards him until a few weeks into our "dating."

I really cannot understand the concepts of "blind dating" or "one-night-stands" or "love at first sight" or even most irl crushes. For me, sex needs romance first and romance needs friendship first.

It's easy for me to become attracted to fictional characters because they're malleable and often have obvious personalities, so I can end up crushing on them easier than with real people.

I don't know, I just go into bi spaces and see people like "the real problem with being bi is that everyone is hot ;)" and I don't relate to that, so I go to aroace spaces to try to find where I fit in and all I see is "pfft, who needs sex and romance that's lame" and I can't relate to that either so I feel stuck in between both.

I guess it's kinda like my gender. I feel "not cis" enough to be cis but I definitely don't feel trans either. For simplicity I say I'm a woman whose gender is genderqueer but that doesn't really explain how I feel in ways that people would immediately understand. Similarly, I can say I'm bi to most people, or maybe sapphic to some, and then further elaborate that I'm demiaroace to others, but I always feel like I'm coming across wrong.

[kingmojomonkey]

ignore: dumb shit personal rant below

i'm in a dumb situation that i brought on by myself but it's not really a situation at all...when i was visiting my friend abroad we went out to a club with her friends, and one of her friends was cute and got me insta, then at the end of the night we "danced" together and then made out and that was pretty much it and they put their arms around me at the bus station then they went home, me and my friend went back to hers and that was it and i spent my last day hanging out and doing cool things with my friend i was staying with and went home on the monday....but heres the dumb situation her friend that i made out with started texting me from the morning after the club, not much just a couple of texts here and there but it's so dumb that we did text we don't live in the same country, they don't really speak english and i don't speak any dutch and i dont really know anything about them because we barely spoke....but now if we text i will start to learn about them like i now know what they work as...and we will likely never ever see each other again in real life and its not like we dated or anything i spent like 4 hours with them and made out with them and that was it....but they were really nice and they seem sweet and like someone that would be good and anyone that ive tried texting on apps has been shit, but it's delusional thinking and acting to continue to text, not only do we not live in the same country but i barely live in my country right now i go abroad again in less than 2 months and i dont know how long it will be until i return home...but i don't want to be a bitch because they are nice, but i don't want to catch feelings for them either because of this which i feel like i might if i were to keep texting...like i get a tiny bit excited thinking i might have a text off them already so i know I'll be disappointed when the fun of the weekend fizzles out and we won't text anymore....i had been kind of giving dry replies so they could just you know not reply so i wouldnt have to been the one to not reply, but the way their last text was means i have to choose to agree to their statement (dry af), extend the convo or just give a heart and ignore it.

I also, until this summer, was never really in these situations, so i know i come across like a schoolgirl drama but all of this is new to me and i don't know if this is normal over thinking or my anxiety/panic disorder, but i feel dumb that i cant figure out what to do because i literally only knew this person for a short space of time and barely spoke irl to them and its funny because they arent the first person i made out with in a club in recent months, in october in a spanish club i spent like 3 hours dirty dancing and making out with someone and they would say some words to me in spanish and i knew enough spanish to make conversation but i didnt particulary want to talk that night so even when they spoke to me in english i just smiled and didnt reply i never learned their name but when we were all leaving the club i spoke then to let them know i wasnt going home with them and then we talked to their friends and my friends and shit, i never learned their name even though my friend later tried to find out who it was because apparently they worked in their hotel (not mine lucky enough) but even though i had fun and made out with that person for a much longer time i didnt care about not texting or knowing them again or for example the person i had sex with in summer (my first) i had been texting them for a bit before but i really didnt care that much about them at all and i didnt particularly care if i met up or text them again, though i went their house twice, and i still have them on insta but i know ill never text them and when they give my story the odd like every now and then im just like ah thats that person but i never thought anything more about them then im going to sleep with this person and that was that....which is what is worrying me more about this dumb situation because in my head im like i can potentially see if the fucking world aligned that we might be a good match but it is not and therefore the situation is dumb and me writing this is me procrastinating what my reply is and i feel like a fucking tit