#i beat my head trying to figure out something to do for FAHM and nothing

[snackugaki]

Titles Under Consideration

“For the love of fuck, do NOT burn a jar of Vick’s VapoRub as a candle, VapoRub is for RUBBING, they have separate products to use as wax melts, and for for a humidifier ffs.”

“You have a bruise? Vick’s. A bug bite? Vick’s. A burn? Vick’s. You want to lay a curse on some pota? Vick’s.”

“It’s October, motherfuckers!”

“Happy Filipino American History Month”

“My face when it’s October, and Filipino American History Month and I was considering doing another comic like last time but no ideas came to me until 4 days in about St. Malo, the first Filipino settlement in the U.S set to the lyrics of Bahay Kubo. But now there’s not enough time to do an in-depth mini-comic so now you either let it slide or frantically slap together something because this will haunt you ‘til next Filipino American History Month. (Even though postponing would give you time to deliberately dedicate time to crafting  a full story instead of a sad collection of vague artistic panels where the reader has to piece together a narrative)”

“Fil-Am Kulam”

“Fil-Am Kulam (fuck, that’d make a badass comic title)”

“Fil-Am Kulam (wag mo akong isumpa bhest, i just like tacky word play)”

[exhaustedfander]

Oh, Bi the Way [Analogical]

Here’s a fun little Analogical highschool au where Virgil comes out as Bi to Logan. Reblogs and feedback are really appreciated! 

a03 link

word count: 2,351

Virgil paces tight circles in his bedroom, his hands woven in his hair as his mind runs rampant. He glances out the window, the daylight golden and fading outside. Logan will be here soon, he realizes with dread, his heart hammering even faster at the thought.

I shouldn’t be this fucking nervous, he thinks to himself as if most things in life don’t make him anxious. Virgil’s been plagued by horrible anxiety for most of his life, but this really isn’t something that should be putting the pit in his stomach that it is.

But he’s been hiding something – is still hiding something and it’s so goddamn stupid. It really isn’t a big deal. He should be able to go ahead and say it no problem. Except Virgil’s stupid brain has to make things so fucking complicated, doesn’t it?! It has to mess with him and make him think that maybe people are going to freak out and maybe it’s going to be a total disaster.

He’s bisexual.

Yeah, yeah. He knows it isn’t a big deal. Tons of people are queer, and he just happens to be one of them. For fuck’s sake, his best friend Logan is gay! It’s not his fault that no one had told him there was an in-between. He was anxious enough about crushes on girls so once he figured out boys too? Well, he didn’t have the balls to tell anyone.

Sometimes he blamed it on the fact that he grew up in the foster system. Getting shuffled around from home to home the way he did, he didn’t exactly have a chance to get a good set of parents to teach him the ins-and-outs of the LGBTQ+ community. He was a fourteen-year-old getting bounced around, not even trying to get close to any of the people whose care he was under because in a blink of an eye, they’d be gone.

And then he’d gotten adopted by the Knight-Hart’s. It was still what Virgil was probably the most grateful for in his life. He was fourteen-in-a-half, having lost hope of being adopted years ago and yet here he was, brought into the home of two of the sweetest people he’d ever met.

It’s so stupid – Virgil’s parents are gay! He’s got two dads and he can’t even tell them he’s bi? Why does his brain hate him so much?! His fathers’ have helped him so much in the few years he’s been in their care, bringing more happiness and joy into his life than he’d known in so long. His Pops is always making dad jokes that Virgil can pretend he despises all he wants, but really, they crack him up. He’s such a kind, good-hearted guy who’s been nothing but supportive of Virgil since day one. His dad is no different in that respect, loving just the same but with a bit more bravado and eccentricities. What can he say? His dad’s an actor and his flair for the dramatics fail to surprise Virgil any longer.

He loves them. He really loves them but it’s still so hard to think about coming out to them, let alone Logan. God, Logan’s going to be there anytime now!

Virgil continues his pacing, trying his best to steady his breathing. If he can muster up the courage, he’s going to tell him. Virgil’s going to come out to his best friend.

After everything the pair’s been through, Logan deserves to know. Virgil met John in the beginning of high school, a time where he found it almost impossible to make friends of any kind. Virgil’s anxiety and self-doubt made having a mere successful conversation feel like an accomplishment of some kind. He didn’t think he’d ever get the chance to have a true friend, let alone a best friend. But when he met Logan that all changed.

Despite Virgil’s hesitations, they got along famously right away. Although Logan was far stiffer and more out of touch with pop-culture than anyone Virgil had ever met (Seriously, he pronounced “fam” as fahm) he was also an incredibly smart and interesting person who Virgil was proud to know. Logan could tell him so many interesting facts about outer-space or the ocean and was always really good about handling Virgil’s anxiety. Virgil had never met someone who he clicked with so instantaneously before, they just got each other. Even if they were spending time together doing separate things, Virgil was thankful to merely be in Logan’s presence. He kept him grounded.

So, of course he fell hard for him. it’s not like Virgil doesn’t know that there’s a change that his feelings are reciprocated, it isn’t impossible. Just unlikely, and damn does it sure feel impossible. Virgil’s been spending the nearly four years he’s known Logan trying to convince himself that he’s straight as an arrow and doesn’t feel anything for Logan – neither of which things are true, of course.

The two friends are going to the same college, so it isn’t like Virgil’s gonna have any room to breathe and get other his feelings. He’s been dancing around things for so long, and frankly it’s getting kind of exhausting. Virgil isn’t expecting Logan to feel the same way – god, he’s never been that much of an optimist in all his life – but telling him is something Virgil’s decided he has to go through with.

If he can manage to muster up the courage, that is.

Logan arrives, punctual as always and beautiful as ever. Logan’s the only kid Virgil’s ever met who wears a tie almost daily, claiming such attire is an attribute of his “seriousness.” Hah, as if Virgil doesn’t know about his unicorn onesie, not that he’d tell anyone about it. He’ll let Logan keep up the “serious” act, if that’s what he wants. It suits him, anyhow.

Virgil’s going to give it a minute, he decides, and they start to do their homework in relative silence. This is no oddity for the pair, they often spend time over at each other’s homes after school to do work or catch up or both. But Virgil’s heart isn’t usually beating out of his chest when he’s doing his fucking APLit homework. He told himself he was just going to take a minute to collect his thoughts before breaking the silence, but god, it’s been like thirty minutes at least and he hasn’t said anything and he’s getting too fucking nervous and he doesn’t think he can do this and –

“Virgil?” Logan’s voice cuts through the haze of his mind, voice calm and collected.

“Uh – yeah?” Virgil replies dumbly, his eyes snapping up to meet Logan’s gaze. Logan shuts his book, moving from his spot at Virgil’s desk to sitting beside him on his bed, a look of concern etched into his face.

“Are you alright? You seem distressed, and you’ve been reading that same page for over five minutes now.”

Shit, Virgil hadn’t even noticed. Logan’s question has offered him the perfect Segway to what he wants to say, it couldn’t have been laid out better. Except…Virgil can’t do this. He’s too nervous, and his hands are trembling, and this is going to be an absolute train-wreck.

“I’m fine,” Virgil mutters, hoping Logan will just drop it. He just wants to burry himself in his own cowardice, thank you very much. “Just a little distracted, I guess.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” Logan’s voice is even and steady, so the opposite of how Virgil’s feeling, “but you appear to be very nervous. For several days now, your anxiety has appeared to be heightened. I didn’t want to voice my…” Logan swallows thickly, “…concerns, fearing it might only worsen things. But I must confess, I’m getting a bit worried.”

Well fuck, is all Virgil can think. Logan, in the absolute sweetest way possible, has backed him into a corner. Evidently, Logan’s been worried about him and the thought makes his stomach turn. He hadn’t even realized he was acting any more nervous than he usually does.

"I don’t suppose you won’t just drop this for a while?” Virgil asks with a fleeting hope that maybe he can escape this in one piece.

“I’m afraid not.” Virgil sighs. It figures.

“Okay. Okay, you’re going to think this is so fucking stupid.”

“I highly doubt that. When was the last time I reacted in such a way to you telling me something?” Logan makes a good point, as Virgil can’t remember a recent instance.

“I mean, sure, but this is really dumb, L. I’ve kinda been trying to tell you this for forever, but, big surprise, I’m really anxious about it.” Virgil flinches as he feels a hand settle onto his shoulder, seeing the sincere concern in Logan’s eyes.

“Whatever it is you want to tell me, I’m here, Virgil. I’m your friend and your fears are not baseless or dumb. It’s okay to be afraid.” Virgil’s pulse hammers in his ears as he nods, taking a shaky breath.

“Yeah alright…s-so uh, I’m bi.” Virgil nervously ducks his head, his eyes landing on the carpet. It’s not like it would make sense for Logan to react poorly, but like, what if he did?

“Well, thank you for telling me, Virgil. How long have you –.”

“I dunno, a while,” Virgil interrupts, still not looking at Logan, “See? I told you, stupid.” “I never said stupid. You aren’t stupid for not coming out until now, there is no time limit or restrictions when it comes to identity. I’m glad you told me, Virge. Thank you, I know that it can be very hard to do so.” Virgil finally feels confident enough to meet Logan’s eyes, a lopsided smile forming on his face.

“Thanks, man. That kinda makes me feel better. You’re, uh, the first person I’ve told. I wanted it to be you who I told first, that is. Cuz, you know, we’re…” Virgil hesitates, struggling through the words “such good friends.” The pressure on his shoulder reseeds and is replaced at his hand where Logan has laced their fingers together. Virgil feels a shiver run down his spine.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me, or was there something else as well?” Virgil can feel the heat radiating off of him, knowing his cheeks are going crimson. Fuck, fuck Logan knows. He knows and he’s pitying him.

“I – uhh –,” Virgil sputters, incredibly dignified.

“I only ask because you still seem to be rather nervous. I’m not trying to provoke you and I apologize if that’s what I’ve made you to believe. I’m –.”

“I’m also, uh, kinda really in love with you.” Virgil can’t help it, it just comes up like word vomit. He can’t believe he just said that! He’s sure any second now Logan’s going to let go of his hand and push him away. He’s sure Logan will leave and never come back, and he’ll have lost his best friend.

“You…you are?” Logan doesn’t sound outraged or disgusted. He sounds relieved.

“Uh, y-yeah. Shit, did I just make things weird?” From the way Virgil finds Logan taking a fistful of Virgil’s hoodie and pulling him into a kiss, he’s inclined to believe that no, he didn’t just make things weird. The embrace is clumsy at first, their teeth knocking before Virgil’s hands are laced in Logan’s hair, melting into this kiss.

“I love you too, in case that wasn’t clear,” Logan says breathlessly as they part, their foreheads pressed together. Virgil laughs, relief washing over him in waves.

“Fuck, L, I thought I was about to lose you as a friend or something. I never entertained the thought that…”

“That I’ve been in love with you for years?” Virgil’s lips curled into a smirk.

“Years, huh?” He asks, as if he probably hasn’t loved Logan for just as long unknowingly.

“And here I’ve been, suffering in the belief that you were heterosexual. And you know my stance on feelings.” Virgil laughs, kissing Logan again and wondering how quickly you can become addicted to something because holy shit, this is amazing.

“Yeah, yeah, their “the bane of your existence” and all that.”

“Priestley.”

“Full disclosure, there’s no way I’m finishing my homework now,” Virgil says. Logan swats him.

“You horrid delinquent.” Virgil chuckles again, throwing his arms around Logan and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. For two boys who claim to be averse to most physical contact, they seem to be enjoying themselves a fair amount.

“Okay, this is probably a stupid question, but are we a thing now?”

“Are you asking to be my boyfriend?”

“Maaaaybe.”

“Well then I accept. I find your presence to be tolerable.” Virgil snorts, holding Logan closer than he ever has and never wanting to let him go before a thought comes to mind.

“Hey, L?”

“Mm?”

“You wanna stay for dinner and help me come out to my dads?” Virgil can’t believe it, but for once in his life he’s feeling brave. Logan’s made him feel brave.

“I would be more than happy to offer my assistance.” Virgil grins. “It’s gonna be great because they already love you, I mean, you’re so fuckin’ smart, and nice, and cute, and –.” “You’re rambling, Virge.” Virgil pulls away to see the flush on Logan’s cheeks.

“Aww, you’re embarrassed!”

“I absolutely am not.”

“Lo?” “Yes, Virgil?” The fondness in Logan’s tone was just about to kill him it was so sweet. Virgil kisses him again, long and slow, his hands planted firmly above Logan’s waist. His boyfriend – oh my god, he has a boyfriend! – continues to lean in, even as he pulls away. There’s no way Virgil’s ever going to recover from the cuteness.

“I love you.” Logan sighs contently.

“I love you too, Virge.”

“Virgil, honey, dinner’s ready!” Virgil’s Pops calls from downstairs. Virgil and Logan share a somewhat nervous, lovesick glance.

"Let’s go tell my dad’s I’m bi as fuck and have an insanely nerdy boyfriend,” Virgil says as he gets up from the bed, earning a chuckle from Logan. Logan grips onto his hand.

“Lead the way.”

=+=