#i can agree or disagree with them but i honesty dont give a fuck about this idiot

[whyshedisappeared]

Taylor being besties with an evil antisemitic idiot who's spreading the worst possible lies and calling convicted terrorist prisoners "innocent" and posting blood libel to 79 million people... feeling really bad about it!!! 😡😬

honestly, dude. i have enough to be mad and worried about to care about what some asshole wanna be model says snd the lies she doesn't even try to make believable.

[flodaya]

Hello there, here to give an honest opinion. I disagree with a few of your takes about Lou. Most people who don’t like her in honesty just find her character random and unnecessary. They feel as if she was inserted purely for drama and not story progression. BUT I don’t really think it’s the fault of Lou’s character or the people who aren’t taking to her well, it’s the writing. Yes, there are people who want the mlm Sascha ending but I believe it’s because we were kinda sold that in the beginning. We were eased into Sascha—we were excepting him. Lou was random—seemed to be tossed into the mix as an after thought and it threw everyone off the vibe. I understand what you mean by people hating on a non conventionally attractive gender non conforming person but I think it’s unfair to state that ALL people who aren’t taking to Lou’s character fits that bill. Sure, some people might not like her for that reason, however, I know alot of people who just really adore the main cast of characters and are salty the underused characters (Finn, Yara) lost the war of screen time to new characters. If people genuinely like the idea of Lou and Ismail, great. But what I find concerning is people who are shipping them just because they feel like it’s the “woke” thing to do or that it would be a bad thing to not ship a couple like them. It seems to be with your logic that if you don’t take well to them, people automatically assume you’re body shaming Lou or not finding her attractive, again that’s an unfair assumption. Personally, I don’t think Ismail and Lou have chemistry and the “chemistry” between them that’s being written is clearly forced. I have no issues with Lou’s character anymore. I did find her a bit sus in her introduction because I wasn’t sure wtf purpose she was supposed to serve but she’s fine to me now.

hi, my friend

so i gotta be honest here and say i am not lou's biggest fan either, i am having a very hard time warming up to both new characters, there were a combined 2 moments where i genuinely liked and felt emotional for these two, 1) was when sascha came to the party in episode 1 and did his little dance thing and 2) was lou in the clip on monday drawing and being all cutesy with isi

i don't think people are always malicious when they don't like lou, not in the slightest, and neither am i saying the entire fandom is like this, i know people in this fandom who love lou or who defend lou, so when i say "y'all are horrible" i am clearly only referring to people who are mean and disrespectful and there are a lot of people making very rude and distasteful comments about her, so if you're not one of them, if you don't like her because you just dont then that's totally okay, we can't all like a character, it's an opinion after all

yet i wouldn't say people ship lou and isi for woke points, maybe, just maybe, some people genuinely like those two as a couple? i don't "ship" anyone this season, i just don't want to see constant hate for lou and isi and for people to keep denying that ismail is clearly meant to seem romantically interested in lou, ship whatever you want, but it's so easy to not be a fucking dick about a character

but it is extremely questionable how the perception of lou and sascha is so contrary, on top of that i remember how this fandom treated ava the last two seasons and it's becoming increasingly annoying how fat characters are seen in the fandom as "they are getting too much screen time" while constantly asking for other skinny conventionally attractive characters to get more screen time (eg. everyone saying yara should get more background but then complain when lou gets a backstory)

i definitely agree with you though, the writing is at fault here, they clearly set up sascha as the LI, which is also why i still think he is the endgame, so they've totally set up lou to compete against a white queer boy and we all know this fandom and their obsession with those. though i don't think we can deny that if lou had also been a white boy or if the genders had been reversed the reception and general opinion would be quite different 🤷‍♀️

so, tl;dr i am not lou's biggest fan either, i could have very well done without her or sascha, i'm just here to call out the hypocrisy of big parts of this fandom

[m-a-k-k-u]

I feel this is blown outta proportion but I don't think that means your in the wrong. I personally feel like you have been very chill with your anons. They constantly come back for a reason. If somebody does not agree with how you talk to them they are entitled to their opinion but I can't understand how they rationally came to that conclusion. I understand why you would be upset if you felt misrepresented. Tumblr is the last place to get an accurate idea of who somebody is and it isn't cool that somebody chose to hyper fixate on your anons to create some reason not to like you. Says more about them really. I mean that person should be able to come to that conclusion themselves. The fact she let something that weak influence her shows she didn't care. If a friend is not willing to clarify misjudgements made about you then they don't care. They don't have to go to battle for you but simply saying "No I talk to them and they are not like that from my experience" isn't hard. It's fair to expect that of a friend even if its means confronting another friend of yours. It's just honesty. Why would you want one friend to have a false idea while the other is misunderstood? If she can't bring herself to clarify things it means she agreed with the misjudgements or was willing to put the opinion of others above your friendship. If she agreed then that should be addressed with you as a freind. If she didn't agree and didn't choose to clarify things then she clearly just lets others walk over her and control the narrative. The fact they both want to make it your fault for literally judging you without letting you actually talk is insane to me. Makes no sense. Your feelings were probably hurt because you expected to be respected as a friend and she dangled it in front of you like a treat or reward. That's fucking weird and not how it works. You came to your blog to talk about it because they clearly wouldn't listen to you so I dont understand how she can act the way she in in her blog? She sounds like a bully. It would be one thing if she was defending herself here and gave a reason to disagree but she isn't and is just being invalidating you with like nothing. If they weren't willing to show you why you were wrong in this situation or give closure than its fair to find that through your blog and by others. You tried to address how you felt disrespected by her/her friend directly and their conclusion was to just end things instead of talk it out. There was an easy solution that she didn't want to choose and she should have understood that leaving people to deal with that alone means they will find a different way to cope how they need to. Your not in the wrong for sharing it and its so rude that she is framing it that way. If she didn't want you to speak out than she should have spoken to you like an adult. She chose to be unreasonable and you are dealing with that.

I appreciate your view completely anon because I can tell you really tried to understand what I was dealing with. I do want to point out though that I was also in the wrong and the way I handled it was not the right or mature way.

Honestly, I was upset that a friend defending me depended on whether she thought I cared about her or not. Especially when the reason she didn't think I cared was because she had hurt me badly in an argument and I had blocked her for the things she said to me.

It really didn't have much to do with her friend just the fact that I would stand up for someone I cared about and wanted the same out of someone who always tried to convince me that she cared about me.

It was on my mind at the time due to my conversation with her when I wrote that ask. But I should have kept my comment to myself. What hurt though was swapping back to dms to see her telling me that we should never speak again. She didn't say delete it or that she disliked it. Just immediately we shouldn't talk anymore. I agreed and blocked her but my posts after that show the hurt I was feeling.

Some people saw angry and drunk but they should have seen hurt and betrayed. This person knew a lot of things I go through. They had told me they cared about me and would be there for me and that I was safe with them. But one ask changed that to never speaking to me again. Hurt people tend to lash out. I know I was wrong. But I also thank you for trying to understand me rather than just pointing the finger.

I do feel like the things said about me and the situation were pretty unfair given the circumstances. But I guess that's all I can expect from internet strangers. I just wish people weren't so quick to judge.

[minblush]

I hope you dont mind me asking but what is right wing? Is it like the conservative side

japanese right wing ideology is kinda specific and has been on the rise, it’s tied with radical nationalism and japan’s imperialistic history, which is a topic very sensitive to koreans because they suffered greatly because of japan (the issue of comfort women) etc, current japanese right wing ideology is re-writing history and trying to suppress the knowledge of atrocities japan has committed in favor of blind patriotism (monuments for imperial war criminals, propagation of the rising sun flag which is to east asian countries equivalent to the swastika, removing mentions of war crimes from history books), that’s why korean fans are mad and hurt, and others are also worried about it impacting the image of bangtan in korea

Anonymous said:apparently japanese fans are also really mad so this was undoubtedly the dumbest decision ever bang pd can fucking choke

i haven’t seen as many reactions from them so i can’t comment on that fully, but stupid decision it really was.. can’t get out of my head that bang pd literally said he admires the world view of that man.. what the fuck

Anonymous said:If bts has the amount of artistic freedom and get to make the choices like they say they do there are seven members surely they can stand up and say hey I won’t work with this producer…. I know we don’t know 100% how it all works and what is going on but if they can’t do that then a. They don’t have the freedom they say they do or b. They don’t have the integrity or awareness/right stance on social issues like they make out they do…

you are exactly right

Anonymous said:But not going to lie yoongis work is nice

yes i agree

Anonymous said:Do u think bts need to gives some sort of feedback or something on how toxic the fandom has become?? Do u think its necessary for an artist to respond? Just want to hear your opinion about it. (And i know its not ideal for artist to do that, they basically saying to some of the fans that theyre wrong etc etc, and it will definitely hurt their ego) sooo despite that do u think they actually need to?

do they need to? obviously not because they can keep going just fine without it, should they? would it help? yes, i believe so. i don’t think artists are responsible for what their fans do, but if something you could say would make a difference for the better, then why not? majority of fans adore bts like gods and blindly believe everything they say, were they to speak up it might influence a very good portion of them

Anonymous said:I agree with your post so much I literally love bts to bits but also like,,, I don’t know how to say it you said it better than me but specially with the ‘saying things about any real substance’ not to get too deep but I’ve suffered with bipolar and ADHD my life was absolute shit when I was 18 years old and songs like sea are really genius impactful, I love them and they help me but they’re never the FACE of their album which is disappointing since we hold them up to THAT standard

yes exactly, i’ve had songs that were very meaningful to me as well, but they are getting further and further away from these songs being the focus and instead we keep getting issues like this and i’m just so tired

Anonymous said:I’m so sorry but being an old crusty ass man and defending obvious sexual abuse and harassment because it gets his sick dick hard is the most vile thing I’ve ever seen. I love bts but If they keep this dude on the album I am not touching that shit it can flop hopefully for all I care lmao

same… like really it’s more important to bang pd to get the media buzz than having any integrity.. ugh

w0n-rabbit said:Hi there!! I hope yoi dont mind me bothering but I have been following youre bolg for quite some time now and I have always valued your opinion on all the issues happening because well I like the way you voice them out and your honesty is 😶 quite charming. On a different note, I find it extremely hard to support BTS right now. I mean was a huge fan at first but became less and less of one solely because of the fandom and now this. Sorry to bombard you like this 😶

hi you’re not bothering me at all! thank you for sharing your thoughts as well and for thinking nice things about me (dakjsd i disagree but i appreciate it ofc

Anonymous said:Hey so I’ve been reading your replies and it kinda opened my eyes a bit but I was just wondering on where you stand? Like are you still a fan of bts or you just don’t agree with bighit?

i don’t know anymore honestly, i’ve been continuously disappointed and hurt by things surrounding them for a long time now and the negatives have been outweighing the positives.. i still am fond of the boys and the their group dynamic and the song that meant to me a lot before still do now.. it’s just hard? how can i call myself a fan when this all is what they stand for now? when the company’s priorities are so skewed and painful? so i don’t know, i am still fond of them as people though

[letsbreal]

I got a call yesterday,

“The facility called to inform me that your contract is terminated effectively today...”

This is what I really want to say to the Director of Surgical Services of that fucking hospital. 

“ I’ve done nothing but be kind, respectful, flexible, and decent to you and your surgery team. Lets be fucking real here. The only reason why you terminate me is because my email hurt your feelings because you don’t have the confidence to be honest with yourself that you failed. That the reason this issue is here is because you didn’t do shit about it! And I’m the only and first that have spoken to you bluntly about the issues of your surgery team. But I guess the honesty to that you cant seem to fucking swallow. So you find a low ass reason to terminate me which your reason is that my email was not professional because of the fact that I was sharing information about me. Personal shit. Yes true. It was fucking personal. Did I like to share it? No. But did I feel the need to? Yes. Because I wanted you to understand my background and what made my character. SINCE YOU WERE QUESTIONING MY CHARACTER AND MY WORK ETHIC! Because you believed what your team said all the fucking lies about me when YOUR NOT EVEN THERE 24/7! So what the fuck do you really know? But I guess you also don’t have the courage to fucking be honest with yourself and me and everyone that the truth of it all is YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK about PATIENT SAFETY, YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK about ANYONE even me, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS FILLING THAT EMPTY SPOT. GET THE FUCK YOU WANT HOWEVER IT CAN BE DONE. DOESNT MATTER WHO FALLS OR GETS HURT! IF THEY DONT DO WHAT YOU WANT THEN FUCK EM RIGHT? So therefore, thats why you told my agency that I should keep my email short and not share personal things. Because you couldn’t find a real legitimate fucking reason why to terminate me could you? You lied to my agency saying that I agreed to do eyes surgery?” I told my agency to look at my skills checklist.... I DIDNT FUCKING LIE! AND YOU MAKING SHIT UP thats not true. IS FUCKING PATHETIC FOR A DIRECTOR TO DO! You just wanted revenge because my email hurt your ego..... 

And you fucking talk about Being Kind when you can’t even do that to others. you’re a fucking hypocrite! No wonder your team talks behind your back. They don’t have a fucking issue to say how much they disagree with your decisions, and how your decisions doesn’t help them! Now I understand why travelers don’t stay long in your facility. I thought it was the team that is the issue. Now I realize its YOU AND THE TEAM. YOUR SURGERY TEAM REFLECTS WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE! 

You can’t even have the fucking courage to confront me and tell me straight up that you will terminate me. You made a meeting about my email shared that with everyone in the surgery team so that they can eat me alive? Or better yet treat me good as a farewell because who knew last week and two days this week was my last day. Oh ya you planned it. You fucking planned it. 

You gotta be a fucking snake in order to know one. Your a piece of shit. You hide from your fucking title as a director but in reality your character behind that fake face of yours is as TRASH as your fucking insides! 

No, Karma will come back to you. For every tear that came down my face because of the hurt you caused and your team to me. The fucking bullies in the medical field. How fucking crazy that you would think being in the medical field people are heartwarming. Nope... there are fucking politics everywhere! And people love to bully others. This fucking hospital will be the hospital your souls will end up in when you die. You know why? Because all of the pain you  all caused each other and all the hurt you put on each other did to each other is in this hospital. This is where your heart is. This is where all the regrets, anger, resentment, revenge, all the fucking negative shit is. And you think your souls will be at peace? Hah! Pathetic! 

You treat others as horrible and you want others to treat you with kindness? Hahaha... isn’t that something? No, Now I understand why travelers were rude to you! Because what you did to me YOU HAVE DONE TO OTHERS! Your a lying fucking fake human soul that has no fucking heart! So with that you will get the KARMA that is DESTINED AND WAITING FOR YOU! 

My tears may not be important, my heart and soul may not be important or respected by others. But God is my refuge. And He sees my tears, my heart, and my soul! He knows what you and your team has done to not just me, but many others who didn’t deserve this kind of treatment! 

All because YOU COULDN”T SWALLOW ALL THAT I SAID! Why does it hurt so much that someone like me said to you, A Director that You preach about kindness yet you couldn’t even ask me first if its true or not what your team has told you lies about me? Your one sided! And your fucking closed minded! Your a pathetic fool that is blind in your own chains! Everyone in your team will eat you up just like they tried with me. And everyone in your team will come for you, behind your back just as they tried with me. AND JUST AS YOU DID ME... IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU. That’s how KARMA IS. You Fool! 

No, none of you deserve my fucking tears. None of you deserve my 100%. I left the facility without mentioning names! Those who were bullying! Those who were lying! Those who were spreading division! And they wanted me out so bad because they know once i fucking drop a name its DONE! But see.... yal are fucking insecure! SO FUCKING INSECURE! 

It only means one thing... You fucking fear me. Because you know that I fucking know and I SEE RIGHT THROUGH EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU! And you can’t stand that! You can’t be at peace with that! So you and your team did what you can to make sure I’m no longer there. Well here is all I’m gonna say.

THANK YOU! Because I don’t want to be where there is no light, no peace, no heart, and only FAKE LOVE! 

So many fucking people just want to kiss ass so they can get that bonus! So that they can get that higher position title. BUT THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF IT HURTS OTHERS. THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF THEY NEED TO STEP ON SOMEONE!!!! That is the surgery team you have! Because that is the HEART OF THEIR LEADER! THEY ARE A REFLECTION OF YOU!!!!

NOW I FUCKING SEE IT CLEAR! So you know what... FUCK YOU! And THANK YOU! Because now YOU JUST GAVE GOD A REASON TO JUDGE YOU and EVERYONE THERE. God can judge me for my sins and my transgressions and my flaws.... BUT I NEVER NOT ONCE INTENDED OR EVEN CHOSE TO HURT ANYONE! THAT IS A BIGGER SIN!

YOU CHOSE TO HURT OTHERS! YOU CHOSE TO PRETEND SO THAT THE FINGER DOESN”T POINT AT YOU! SO THAT THE TEAM DOESN’T BLAME YOU! SO IT WAS EASY FOR YOU TO TERMINATE MY CONTRACT ONLY BECAUSE I WAS 100% HONEST WITH YOU and YOU COULDN”T TAKE IT! 

YA THE TRUTH fucking hurts!!!! IT DOES DOESN”T IT? It’s too much to swallow! Too much to eat!!!! That everytime you try to swallow that truth the deeper you breathe in gets heavier and heavier doesnt it?? THAT WAS THE OPPORTUNITY GOD GAVE YOU TO TRULY MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR THE BETTER OF THOSE UNDER YOUR CARE! FOR THE PATIENTS WHO WILL GO THERE FOR CARE! No... you didn’t just fail them! You didn’t just fail the future paitents of that facility! YOU FAILED YOUR TEAM! AND YOU FAILED YOU!!!! 

Your a worthless human soul with NO FUCKING HEART! AND THAT IS WHAT WILL RETURN TO YOU! I guarantee you the hurt and pain you caused others including me.... WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. And will never be left without a PRICE or consequence! 

In this fucking world of selfish greed of people who only want power and to feed their only fucking egos. This world will die one day and burn..... I hope God will save those who truly deserves it. IF YOU LOVE THIS WORLD MORE THAN GOD. YOU LOVE THE ONE WHO WENT AGAINST HIM. Because of you love GOD MORE.... the LOVE IN YOUR HEART WOULD NEVER CHOOSE TO HURT ANOTHER! NO MATTER WHAT! BUT YOU DONT CARE...... 

and you really planned it didn’t you? No wonder everyone all of a sudden was being nice to me.... after my email to you. hahaha its because you guys already voted to terminate me. And as a FAREWELL to BE NICE just like your fucking team wrote on the white board in the fucking hallway.... BE NICE OR NOTHING. JUST FUCKING WOW! 

ALL OF YOU ARE FAKE!!! and you deserve exactly what is WAITING FOR YOU ALL! hahaha all of you are pathetic! As for me...God leads. I go where He wants me to Go. 

So now I will end this with “deuces!” 

[bitegore]

About Pride- you aren't wrong, but there's a difference between someone wearing leather gear and someone practicing other parts of a kink. Wearing a collar is fine, being on all fours on a leash is really not for public spaces. Because that's involving non-consenting strangers in your kink. Sure, it's good for people to know kink isn't wrong, but something not being wrong doesn't mean it's appropriate for public spaces. Just like sex isn't wrong, but having sex where minors and nonconsenting (1)

(2) strangers can come upon you without warning isn't a good idea. If there's an area that's specifically designated as an area where there will be sex and full kinkplay, great! Mark it clearly and go nuts. But if it's somewhere people could just come up without realizing, that's not a good idea. There are people who don't want to see strangers engaged in sexual activity, and there are parents who would immediately snatch their questioning kid away from any event like that.

(3) There's nothing wrong with indicators of kink in public. Leather gear, badges, flags, that kind of thing. But actual kink /play/ is too much for places where someone could accidentally walk into it. And I really don't think Pride should be designated a place where you should expect to find people performing sex acts randomly scattered about. Not because it's shameful, but because it's something that you need to get people's consent to involve them in.

(4) And I know kink isn't innately sexual, but a lot of it is going to be interpreted that way to someone unfamiliar with the exact scene. Besides, even the nonsexual kink requires consent from all involved. In short: anything that says or demonstrates "I'm into kink" is great, good for people to see, and often stylish. Actually /doing/ that kink, except in areas that are (literally or not) surrounded by "here be kink" signs, is not so great. Because, again, consent. Nothing to do with shame.

-----

This is long, so I’m sticking a cut on it. 

Okay, before I start I want to preface this with: I do actually see your point. I’m going to be arguing with you, but I really want that to be clear. For the most part, I agree with you. You’re just arguing a point that I didn’t try to make, and I kind of want to clear that up. 

Second: my head is hurting worse than usual today (an explanation, not meant as points or to give me a pass if i’m wrong, lol) so if anything seems unclear or hard to understand, please point it out, and i’ll try and correct it/make it clearer. 

Point 1: involving nonconsenting strangers in kink. I agree, that’s bad! But no one was actually talking about doing kinkplay in public at Pride. From what I understood*, it was more about having leather pride at kink, as in like- people wearing leather gear and/or kink gear that isn’t made of leather, and wearing leather pride pins and stuff. Not actually engaging in kinkplay. “There's nothing wrong with indicators of kink in public. Leather gear, badges, flags, that kind of thing.“ That’s exactly what I was referring to, in all honesty. Anything beyond that point is, as you said, involving strangers in your kink without their consent.

However, there’s one thing you said in there that I disagree with.  “Wearing a collar is fine, being on all fours on a leash is really not for public spaces.“

I’d argue that a leash is fine, honestly. Maybe not to be at, I don’t know, a coffeeshop, but at a big busy festival like Pride with a ton of people around, I think something like that has a much higher chance of getting lost in the shuffle. Hands and knees don’t work because, crowds and being at knee height is unsafe, and if I were to take my sub to a place like that I’d be worried she’d get kicked in the face.

Point 2:  “ And I know kink isn't innately sexual, but a lot of it is going to be interpreted that way to someone unfamiliar with the exact scene.“ Again, I get where you’re coming from, but I don’t agree with this either. There’s a lot of elements of kink that people connect with sex, but I think there are also a lot that the vast majority of people haven’t really thought about.** The vast majority of people are not very well educated on kink, and therefore there are a lot of elements of kink that absolutely fly under the radar to vanilla people.  

Also, a secondary aspect of this is that queer people in general tend to be reduced to their sex lives as well, not just kinky people. Straight cis people- especially older people, from my parents’ generation and older- have a tendency to reduce gay men to ‘ew, they have gay sex!’ and lesbians to ‘but how do they have sex? there’s no penis’ and trans people to ‘but how do you have sex with them?’ Reducing kinky people to ‘but they have sex like that?’ is pretty much what they’ve done to the entire rest of the queer community anyway. So I don’t love that argument for the same reason I don’t like things like ‘trans people shouldn’t be allowed at pride, because what if parents of gay or lesbian or bisexual kids see those weirdos and drag their kids off’. It seems like it’s missing a very large part of the history of the community as a whole*** in that particular respect. 

Last point: i just want to call attention to it, I’m not arguing. 

“I really don't think Pride should be designated a place where you should expect to find people performing sex acts randomly scattered about. Not because it's shameful, but because it's something that you need to get people's consent to involve them in.” It’s also illegal to have sex in public. It’s indecent exposure in New York, my home state, and it’s classified as a misdemeanor in many others****. So, you’re definitely not wrong there. 

However, there’s a difference between performing sex acts and making it clear you engage in them without actually having sex. There are a lot of posts around talking about people walking around wearing nothing but pasties over their nipples and thongs and nothing else, or people wearing shirts explicitly talking about sex, or whatever. If you google “pride NYC,” which is what I did because i didnt want to just google “pride parade” and get a ton of canned stock images, you see a lot of pictures of half-naked individuals wearing rainbows. I don’t think that if those people are perfectly alright to do that (and i do believe it should be allowed for people to do so! Pride is for having fun and being proud of your sexuality, so that kind of thing being policed would be a little weird to me) someone wearing a puppy mask or a leash and collar are also just following the trend in their own way. People making sexual assumptions about someone because they’re dressing in a sexual manner or wearing things that imply sexual actions are the ones making those assumptions. The people wearing those things could have chosen not to, but I don’t think they should be barred for choosing to wear them. 

Again, I’m not sure I covered everything, so feel free to point it out if I fucked something up, and I also am not sure any of this is going to make even a little bit of sense to anyone that’s not me, lol, so if this is a whole bunch of completely confusing ramblings, feel free to let me know and I’ll take another stab at it tomorrow when my head hopefully feels less foggy. 

----

*And I might have been wrong. I’m not discounting that. I can be wrong, I’m only human, and my understanding of things might not be 100% accurate. 

**By this I mean like the difference between calling someone Daddy (overtly kinky overtones because it’s become a wildly popular thing in media) vs things like asking for permission for small things or waiting for their Dom to give them a go ahead before taking an action, which is more inherently kinky than just using a title (in my opinion, again, this is all in my opinion) but tends to just strike as a little weird

***i wasn’t around for very much of it. I was born in 2001. But I’ve spent a long time following a bunch of angry older folks on here who every now and again go ‘wow you guys clearly dont remember what it was like in the 80s/90s/are being incredibly reductive, read these pieces from the 50s and 60s’, and I feel like i have a slightly better view on some of these things than a lot of the people I see on here. Naturally, though, I might be wrong about parts, and if I’m misrepresenting something, feel free to send me reading materials

****I did a google search, and the first thing i saw said, verbatim, “ Public Sex is a Misdemeanor. In most states, the laws that criminalize public sex make it a misdemeanor crime. Some state laws explicitly criminalize public sexual activity. Other laws are broader and cover a variety of indecent or lewd conduct.“ The full source can be found here: [x]

[the-little-red-noodle]

4/22/17 10:25pm a letter to my writing teacher about callum

you’ve probably gotten the email by now, so why haven’t you said anything? Well that’s tough, because you haven’t said anything for months, not since that night when, I guess, you thought you’d said everything you needed to.

I want to hear your side of the story

I never thought I’d have to defend myself so much to you, especially considering you were the one who fucked up between us. You abandoned me when I reached out for friends. You told me “If you ever need support, just ask for it. I want to be there for you always.” Well I was asking. 

Hey where are you? I need a friend right now

You never responded that night. I saw a half assed text the next morning of, “Hope it all worked out.” But that was bullshit and you should have known that. As your self-described best friend on campus, I would have expected a little more warmth, but I knew where you were. I knew you were with the problem, and you’d take her side because god forbid you risk blue balls helping your friend.

I wasn’t even mad that you two were getting to know each other, you never would have met without me. I hope it gives you both hell that I set you up. Me, this 'disgusting racist, stupid bitch.’ 

White people don’t talk about politics

The catalyst for this clusterfuck of my sophomore year was her, ranting about how white people are all inherently racist because they don’t talk about political issues at family events. I wasn’t even the first one to call her out on this. The whole room seemed on my side that there are a lot of reasons why people wouldn’t want to start fights over politics with older relatives. It seemed so strange to me how mad she was that people were challenging her. She scoffed and glared and sent huge angry rant texts to you about how the whole room called her out. Eventually the conversation lost the topic and it just sat with me.

Hey I don’t mean to start fights, but this thing you said yesterday kind of rubbed me the wrong way so I was wondering if we could clear it up? I just don’t feel like its fair to say that ALL white people avoid political discussion ALL the time. Its not appropriate to debate grandma on your differing views on politics at christmas because fighting at christmas just isn’t cool to do. You think I wouldn’t like to talk to those relative that i disagree with and argue my side? You don’t do that at thanksgiving. 

Im not going to defend white people. You dont talk about politics because you don’t need to, racial issues don’t affect you.

Ryan’s thanksgiving had the same parameters to not talk about politics.. His extended family is all japanese, but they still don’t agree on political issues that aren’t about race, like money and women’s rights..

*ignores my point* if they disagree with you then you should cut them out of your life. you shouldnt sit idly by while your family is racist.

there are a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t cut yourself off from relatives.. money reasons, or the fact that they’re family...

*scoffs*

I never meant to get her angry at me. I hate confrontation as much as the next introvert, I just didn’t like feeling like things were unsolved. I never expected her to blow up. That night after we parted from a her screaming at me for 2 hours, I texted you for help. I reached out. you were the one who abandoned me, but that didn’t matter. You only heard her side of the story when she was angry and getting high off aggression. That didn’t mean that you had to defend her and ask for my side in a nasty way. I thought you knew me better than to think I was such an awful person, or believe the lies she was telling you.

You weren’t even there, you don’t know what I said

You’re disgusting. You’re a racist. You deserve what’s happening.

I would expect a fight from the problem girl, but not from you. Did you forget about every night you came to my door to cry on my shoulder? Did you forget that I made you dinner every other night for the past two years? Did you forget every time that you said you needed a friend, and I was there? Apparently none of your previous memories of me were as fact as what she was telling you. Forget about the years of our friendship built on honesty, and support, even when you messed up. I took your side in your first breakup, I believed you. I held your head in my lap as you sobbed about how she hurt you. That was me being there for you, not Ms. Problem. but i guess i’m happy i could secure you a side chick for the rest of the year, my parting gift. But through our whole fight, past you calling me a disgusting racist, was calling me stupid. You knew my weak spot. Years of being the dumb blonde and bullied in middle school to eventually dyeing my hair; things you knew. Thus you sculpted your flawless argument of attacking my intelligence

Use your fucking pea sized brain you idiot and read what i just fucking wrote you. Are you really that dumb?

I just want to know what I did wrong.. what did i even do to you?

You are impossibly dense, fucking retard

When you only hear one side of the story, you believe it. That’s true of you, along with the rest of my now ex friend group. I was the only one who didn’t live in this house. The whole lot of 10 people who I thought i was friendly with took the same side you did, blind hate for me. I don’t know what I expected from the rest of this group. Gossip and berating other students was just their way of bonding, and i was the next target wheeled out. 

It feels like my feet are drilled to the floor as this gang takes an archery class. None of them heard my side, and they never would. instead, they collectively shunned me.  Ms. Problem kicked me out of the musical crew for Cabaret. Both relieved to not see them anymore and angry at her, I didn’t come back. The whole crew blocked me on social media and would avoid my gaze as I passed by. Some openly glare at me and give me death stares. There is nothing more isolating than your only friend group one day deciding to hate you, and you never get to defend yourself. You’re just screaming under water, no one can hear you, or rather bothers to listen.

Do you feel good harboring this much hate inside you?

No, but I’d rather keep it to myself and you fucking stop trying to talk to me

This is ridiculous.. I’m just gunna go cuz I can’t take you attacking me like this.

Good, finally you’ll leave me the fuck alone

I never thought our friendship would end like this. that was the last conversation we ever had. Those will always be your famous last words to me. A text fight ending with ‘Finally you’ll leave me the fuck alone.’

You used me for 2 years. Convinced me that you valued our friendship, pretended to care when i was broken, and lapped up my generosity.

you always preferred your significant other to your friendships. you would ditch me in a heartbeat if she said she missed you. ironically, i hope you treat Ms. Problem better than that and don’t run back to your ex. Despite being my bully, I still believe she deserves better. No one wants to be someones second choice, like i apparently was for years. It’s such a disappointing feeling when you learn the hard way that you cared way more than the other person.

I feel too soft to stand up for myself, I am so easily steam rolled and affected. Like stepping on gum, I stick to all the hate and can’t let it go. “Kids can be mean”, my mother would tell me. I feel guilty for complaining and for taking everything so personally. i was just trying to have a civil conversation. i never said anything about race, or racially fueled. I wasn’t trying to defend white people either, I just didn’t want to sit idly by while my friend said a pretty prejudiced statement. I just wanted to hear her out more and speak civilly and have a conversation like grown ups, and from that sparked two huge fights that cost me my two closest friendships on campus and an entire friend group 

sometimes i dont even have the strength to be angry, i just curl up and cry. i’ll get glared at and cry, or get another nasty message and cry. i feel haunted and terrorized and bullied but also guilty for saying anything at all.

something that had been eating at me was the brown paper bag of your things that you’d left in my apartment. a constant reminder of the friendship no longer. a red bowl and a red spoon, followed by your owl mug. id cook you dinner every night in that bowl and hot chocolate in that mug and we’d eat on my cardboard box table on the floor of this room and talk about the little things. that was then. now i was haunted by your little napsack of memories. you’ve probably already gotten the email. i went running around campus to student affairs and westlands desk to finally have the purple door accept it as a lost and found item.

Hi i have this bag of stuff that belongs to a student, but i dont feel safe continuing communication with him, can you take it? its just some kitchen stuff but the other places wont hold it..

we can email him that we have it

thank you