#i can't sleep tonight anyway

[tardis--dreams]

Having the worst time here bodywise

[piplupod]

i feel like i am losing my mind a little bit bc i spent over half of my counselling appt talking about my fear of spiders and this lady kept telling me i should just kill them, and that the only way to get over my fear is to kill them, and i shouldnt catch and release them anymore ??

and now i am thinking about it and wondering do they actually remember how to get into the house,,,,,, if i put them way on the other side of the house in the garden under a plant where its safe, will they just... come back inside? because I don't remember ever seeing any duplicates of spiders that I caught and released, it seems to always be a different looking one each time so :|

but she just seemed so confused and kind of amused by me trying to explain how i think that like... every life has value and I don't think I should be killing spiders if I can avoid doing that. and she straight up laughed at me saying that they are fascinating very interesting little critters.

i don't know, i just feel kind of sick i think. that was just really not what i was expecting and I'm confused like... is this ... the only way I can get over my fear of them? to just start killing them whenever i find one in the house?? that doesn't seem right at all to me but maybe I'm being too soft or something

they talk about values in DBT and how you must make sure your actions don't go against your values, and this seems very backwards to that, especially since this woman started the DBT program at the hospital. so i feel like maybe it's wrong of her to be telling me this, but also maybe she's right about this. idk !!!

[that-was-anticlimactic]

just accidentally spilled an entire water bottle on my bed :)

took my sheets off and put a towel over it. then looked up what to do just in case and. like everything said "use a fan" and "mold could happen so be careful" and now i am Terrified of getting mold since so much spilled and since i don't have any fans. i am so tired oh my god i just want to go to bed

[astrxealis]

dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

[feliz-navidad]

vent post in tags

[saprophetic]

did my grandmother actually "horrifically abuse" me, or was she just making sure that i would never fall prey to a hag's tricks 🤔

[weed-cat]

having so many active potential causes of abdominal pain that you legitimately worry that if your appendix burst or you had a hernia or ovarian cyst you literally wouldnt notice <<<

[piedoesnotequalpi]

Man this day keeps getting worse and worse huh

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[chaoticeddie]

12am conversation with my mom

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 19

"Let Me Drown" by Orville Peck

[putuponpercy]

As someone with siblings that are identical twins it's actually pretty easy to be able to tell them apart just by the tiniest little mannerisms that outsiders aren't able to pick up on, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to believe that the rest of the Little Western are able to tell which is Donald and which is Douglas instantly, while some of the other engines need to have a quick glance at the tender before calling them by name.

[izzy-b-hands]

I have my shot drawn up (managed to stab my fuckin' finger with the back of the lid of the sharps container trying to open it in preparation, which is just stupid funny to me after being initially extremely irritating lmao. Ain't got the damn shot done yet, but still made myself bleed. What a talent I am lol)

I have about half of the cjizzy smut fic written (and my god im. i just love writing smut for these two so much. They're so much fucking fun, bc they both always find rest and safety and stability with each other in these moments, in between the cutest lil silly things and jokes and. These two!!!! also. also. trans izzy for this one bc I can)

It's gonna be three AM soon. I should sleep once shot and fic are done.

HOwever. However. I just remembered the idea I had for a smut fic involving modern au Ed and Izzy, the application of T gel (Ed applying it for Izzy), and then the dorks purposefully taking the drying/waiting period post gel application to start teasing each other until they can fuck (technically it isn't a super long period, but I remember when I was using it it was like. pls do try and not get it on other stuff/ppl/let it dry if possible before covering that area w/clothes, and try not to sweat a whole lot right away if you can help it. So like, in this fic, they've specifically carved out this time to do the application like this so that they can do this little routine: apply, tease, maybe cockwarm a little, then finally fuck once gel is dry and they've given it some time to sit/Izzy should be able to sweat safely lol)

So what if I just keep staying up and write that also. I'm tired, but every time I try to stop, my brain throws Additional Thoughts About Everything at me and uhhhh. That will prevent me from sleeping so like. What if I just do this and sleep later.

[justinefrischmanngf]

i have not been sleeping well and i do think it's doing bad things to me because the thoughts i am having are not reasonable or helpful

[dandyshucks]

junebug: [eating pasta for the 149th day in a row]

guz: "okay i love u but u should try eating some other kind of food, please can we go get burgers for dinner tonight"

junebug: [has been totally willing to eat other food but pasta has just been cheapest and most consistently available and easy to make] "okay fine, lets go burger boy"

(and then juno proceeds to continue to call him "burger boy" for like four straight months before they finally let it go)