#i chose to post it bc we can all do with thinking a bit about what we're seeing before we judge people for their adhd traits

[edge-oftheworld]

real talk though how much of their success was facilitated by the fact liz hemmings sees 'child with adhd' and thinks 'future world renowned musician' and just invested so much love and time and money into nurturing not only her own child's ambitions but also these two kids he brought home from school and the table drummer from her year 9 math class of 2009

[mikodrawnnarratives]

*cracks knuckles* @paper-lilypie

WEDDING BELLS YALL

and brainrot. I've been sketching these ideas out for like, a year. And done nothing with them until this point

this has been festering. in my mind.

*note: I didn't get around to drawing it, but I imagine Sun, Moon, and Y/n say their vows at the Bell place thingie that I need to reread in the fic. Y'know, the place Moon climbs up to, to get away from y/n. Yeh they declare their love up there and smoochies*

I should really reread that bit actually lol

Before moving forward, I'm gonna rant about outfits

this is the outfit that I base Sun and Moon's wedding look on because I just think it fits so well. I share this so you guys see the vision and forgive my inexperience with drawing these folds

Cool? cool.

Also, I went through several variations of what Y/n would wear before settling on this bc nothing that came up when I searched "gender neutral wedding gear" really fit

Wanted a mix between gown and suit and y'know this ended up being more suit but I like it a lot so we're going with that. It also came to me in a vision so that has to say something.

(Ok but I did envision Y/n having a dress similar to this one character's dress in Bad Guys but I couldn't draw it so I scrapped it)

(ok some details stayed but most of the concept had to go)

so like- you see it right?

Btw. All of them (including guests) have pockets. just. to ease your mind.

ok back to actually drawn wedding shenanigans

Because, there are many, wedding shenanigans

Y'know the trend of smashing wedding cake into the bride/groom/wedded partner's face right?

There's no way this wouldn't escalate and y/n wouldn't enlist their siblings in the chaos.

They'll get like- one or two good wedding pics before this.

the cake tasted good tho

Let me just say. I am so proud of how I did these hands I'm oogling my own art I did so good GHGHHHHHHFDS

I like??? Want to do more?????

cuties shenanigans below they are obnoxious and they know it

By the way by the way you may notice the flower dress

I WILL be getting around to Lily x DCA STUFF I WILL

Tho I got busy and had a really hard time drawing/finishing sketches when I did have time so. I chose to post what I have so far so it's out before November ends

CONSIDER THIS A PART 1

LILY YOU ARE NOT SAFE

well Ig u are safe

for nowwwww

Bouquet toss real

fun fact I initially wanted to draw Sun, Moon, and Copper y/n tossing the bouquet together

but their arm lengths would NOT make that work kjfdkljsdklj

so y/n tosses the bouquet bc they are the specialest

(Or they won the round of monopoly)

(who's to say)

(we don't talk about game night)

But all three of them are the criminal. masterminds. They planned this from the start. Holly and Chica HAD NO CHANCE after the role they played in getting Y/N AND SUN AND MOON together.

I think this video would also be something cute that I could see happening for their wedding lol

Y/n and the daycare attendants hand the bouquet to Holly and then she gets proposed to by Chica

Anyway I still have a whole list of wedding shenanigans I need to draw

Sarah and Yao being some because when I tried before I couldn't sketch them out to my liking.

And the more CCRT gets expanded on, the more I'm sure will be present in their wedding since there are only 3 chapters out so far and enough art for me to make my guesses dlkkldsf

I'm sure there are plenty of fun things that can be included into this wedding, or edited, once more is revealed of the characters and their relationships

and who would be wedding guests is a little more up in the air, for instance and... who'd be able to show up in the first place considering unknown state of... living

(*cough cough*-Glamrock Foxy-*cough cough*)

...and being on good terms! thats.. important too. y'know moon and foxy weren't really exes but it may still be a bit awkward if he got invited y'know yknow

[babyjakes]

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event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | harness

pairing | daddy!dom!ari levinson x little!sub!reader

warnings | ddlg and dom/sub dynamics (daddy dom!ari and little sub!reader.) me not knowing anything about handiwork lol. reader struggles to ride. size kink. minimal foreplay (pussy rubbing, nipple play.) reference to rope play. p in v sex, protection unspecified. riding (with help lol.) safeword reminder. mostly sweet praise and encouragement, a little bit of mocking/humiliation tho (he calls reader a whore once.) they come together :D!!! orgasm from penetration. he comes inside. soft sweet reassurance/beginning of aftercare at the end.

word count | 1,284

an | kind of scared that people might not like this one, but i've had this fantasy for soooo long lol i just had to finally put it out there. something about a big beefy daddy laying back and casually tugging at a rope (WITH BIG ARM BC. I LOVE ARM) as he pleases to fuck his pretty little baby up and down along his cock, ,, it gets to me 🤤 also if you're confused by the logistics of the harness, i made diagrams 😭

thinking about daddy dom ari with his sweet little subby baby who has a hard time riding him (understandably!!)

you're such a good girl, you try so so hard but it's just too much 🥺 you get up there and he's soo huge you can barely take all of him. and even if you do manage to lower yourself all the way down onto his massive length, then you have to find some way to move yourself up and down along him?? poor baby, it's just too difficult 😔

so daddy comes up with a brilliant idea, he's gonna install some very special hardware in the bedroom to help with your little problem

he makes an entire day of it. mapping out the blueprint in a notebook, checking to make sure there's a sturdy ceiling beam overhead, researching the best parts to buy on his laptop as you lay comfortably at his side, snuggling into him

the harness itself he orders online, custom-made for your measurements. you're curious and ask to see, but he wants it to be a surprise. he makes a list of the rest of the parts and takes you with him to the hardware store. you get to ride in the cart as he's picking everything out 🥺

"you excited, baby?" he asks on the way home as you hum along softly to the radio. he's smiling as you nod sweetly, reaching over to brush back your hair. "gonna make sure everything's right for my little girl," he promises. "just gotta be a little patient when we get home, sweetheart. you can watch daddy work if you want"

you're a little intimidated when you see it starting to come together. he installs the eye hook as the system's anchor in the ceiling and puts together the pulley system with the sturdy rope he bought. he sees your wide eyes and comes over to kiss your forehead, promising, "don't worry, baby. it'll all be safe. daddy's making sure of it"

a few days later, the harness arrives in the mail. he brings you to the bedroom and has you undress, helping you into it. it's not too bulky or uncomfortable, but sturdy enough to be safe. your heart melts as you see the baby pink and white accents he chose. "so pretty, daddy!" you cheer as he undresses himself and climbs up to lay in the center of your shared bed

he gets you sitting up on his thighs, facing him. your poor pussy leaks excitedly as your legs are spread by the wide straps wrapped around your upper thighs. "you wanna play with daddy a little, baby?" he prompts as he softly begins to run his fingers over your bare mound

you take his big cock in your hands, teasing gently at it as he works your clit in circles for a bit with his thumb to warm you up. with the other hand, he's adjusting the ropes to make sure they're all untangled and ready for when he wants to strap you in for your first ride 🤠

his dick and your cunt are both twitching in anticipation. ari can see you eyeing the contraption a bit warily. "you're okay, baby," he hums as he brings a hand up to pinch and tweak at one of your nipples, making you whimper. the harness is conveniently designed similarly to a lot of your daddy's rope work, tightening around the breasts and thighs to keep you prone and in place

he waits for some of the apprehension to leave your face. finally asking, "you ready, sweetheart? you gonna let daddy setb you up in your pretty new harness?" your eager nodding is all the convincing it takes

he buckles you in with the safety-grade carabiners, giving the rope a gentle tug as a test. it jerks you up slightly, bouncing you on his legs. he gives you a wide, nearly greedy smile "okay baby, let's get you up on daddy's dick"

he tugs again, helping you up a bit into the air (though your legs are still resting some on the bed below) and moves you over with the other hand to position you over his hardened length. all you have to do is sit in the pretty gear and let your daddy do as he pleases. he positions his tip at your dripping entrance, gently easing you down onto him as he loosens the tension on the rope little by little. you let out such a sweet moan as you're filled to the brim, your eyes rolling back slightly in delight 😍

"shit, princess," ari takes a moment to adjust to your tiny little pussy swallowing him up. he tightens his grip on the rope, his voice low and rumbly, "you gonna be a good girl and let daddy fuck you now? that's it baby, just let daddy do the work"

he tries to go easy to start but part of him can't help it; he's been waiting for this moment for so long. he gives you a few pumps up and down on him at a gentle pace, but the feeling of you bouncing like that so effortlessly and the sight of your mouth falling open as your sweet little cries intensify quickly cause him to start acting with abandon

the system works so well, it looks like it's straight out of a porno. ari lays back, groaning deeply as he jerks at the rope at whatever pace he pleases. the way his arm looks when he flexes is so 😮‍💨each tug bounces your perfect form against him, your poor insides aching in pleasure as he rams right up against your ceiling

"d-... d-... daddy!" you sob, your little hands flailing a bit as you grow increasingly overwhelmed by his forceful pace

his eyes flash with a hint of satisfaction at your adorable undoing. "c'mon baby, you can take it. remember your word," he reminds you as he uses his free hand to gather both of your wrists and secure them tightly behind your back. you're left completely helpless, nothing but a living, breathing toy for your daddy to use

"d-daddy, it's s-so much... 'm gonna..." he's grinning wider as he sees your impending orgasm; it's rare for you to come from penetration alone

"oh are you, sweetheart? are you gonna be a good little whore and come for daddy? such a dirty girl, getting off on daddy fucking you like this"

"mmmhhh.... d-daddy!!" you're squealing as you squeeze down on his slippery cock. the sight of you coming like this nearly sends him over the edge, he quickens his pace, tugging more forcefully at the rope to bounce your poor little pussy over him faster

"fuck, baby. daddy's gonna come," he growls, tightening his grip on your wrists as his face contorts with concentration. "you want me to fill you up, princess? want daddy to come in that sweet baby cunt of yours?"

"y-yes please, daddy! please, please fill me up! please, want your come!!"

he lets go of the rope just in time, letting you slam down against him as he hits his peak. he grabs your waist to hold you firmly in place as his seed shoots up into you, your walls fluttering in sync with his dick's throbbing

when you both start to come down, you slump forward onto your big daddy bear 😮‍💨he's rubbing your back, whispering so sweetly in your ear, "good girl, so good for me, baby. so proud'a you, did so well. i'm here, sweet girl. daddy's here"

hmmm yeah i don't even care if no one else is into this, this is MY dream scenario let me have it 😭😭

[general-cyno]

I'm caught up with manga rn so I wanted to share a few thoughts (ramblings) on egghead arc zolu too. first, this convo after the crew leave wano and find out abt what's gone down in the reverie, and wrt to vivi specifically,

I do agree with some stuff I've seen about how using ace here as an example was not exactly the best one since we know how that ended up. that said, I think it's lowkey sweet that zoro still remembers so clearly what luffy said back then and well, he's not entirely wrong.

as I've mentioned in other posts before, zoro takes the crew and his own role in it very seriously. these are his companions, his friends and family I daresay, and part of his duty as both crewmate and friend includes keeping them all check and safe whenever it's needed. especially luffy, as we've seen in different occasions (water 7, thriller bark, punk hazard, wano, just to name some arcs with relevant moments related to this). storming into marijoa, THE world government/navy stronghold, without any information and/or plan whatsoever is a bad idea all around.

luffy may be impulsive and stubborn at times, but he isn't really an idiot and he knows zoro's right even if he doesn't like it. hence this:

ngl I love how grumpy luffy is at zoro here. these two are usually on a similar wavelength but there are key moments where their approach to things differ, and it ultimately works bc it's kind of... a complementary thing. making up for what the other lacks or needs to hear in those moments. I believe they bicker relatively less than other straw hats do in comparison (precisely bc of how similar they are imo) but it's funny when it actually happens. I can so easily picture luffy here fuming and stomping like a brat also being seconds away from asking for a divorce

this one's perhaps on a more delulu note on my part, but I like that zoro brought up ace in specific bc he was there both times when ace and sabo asked the crew to take care of luffy. it was curious to me that in the former case, zoro was kinda shown with this "!" reaction sign and later when it came to sabo in dressrosa, he was the one to fondly point out he sounded just like ace did in alabasta (and the "!" is back).

(the fact that sabo handed zoro luffy's vivre card there also lives in my mind rent free btw)

so yeah. zoro's definitely not one to mess around when it comes to the crew and luffy's safety, though he may get a handful of grumpy straw hats (captain included!) for it.

another thing, and do bear with me bc I might be reaching once again is... the break up flashback between shanks and buggy. I pretty much forgot to make a post about water 7/enies lobby zolu bits (too busy crying over robin, I admit) but this actually reminded me of it.

the context and personalities involved differ from each other, yeah, but I believe this shows exactly how easily it could've been for luffy and zoro to have a bad ending of sorts under different circumstances.

I can't say for sure how much of whiskey peak was intended to affect zoro and luffy's relationship later in the manga (I personally find some parts of it kinda goofy), but it at least served as an early example that they're not immune to suffering from misunderstandings and miscommunication issues. though unlike shanks/buggy, the fact that they're more similar than they're different and their differences tend to complement each other's likely works more in zoro and luffy's favor. still,

if luffy hadn't listened to zoro here - if he'd failed to stay true to what's expected of him as the captain (and being the captain is related to his journey to become the pirate king), to stay true to the kind of man zoro believes him to be and that he chose to join in that marine base, we could've had a similar scenario to shanks and buggy's imo. more so when you consider that zoro's as headstrong as luffy is, that he's been mistaken for the captain and now has turned out to have the color of the supreme king too. hell, zoro used to be a bounty hunter, is still called the pirate hunter. I don't believe it'd be easy for zoro to leave despite what he says, or that they'd become enemies per se, but it isn't (or wasn't) out of the realm of possibilities. zoro has admitted that he sees no point in being a pirate unless he's part of luffy's crew as well.

as it is, the fact that luffy values zoro's imput and listens to him whenever the need arises is such an important part of their relationship. as loyal as zoro may be, as great as his displays of that loyalty are, they only exist bc luffy cares for him just as much and has earned them through his actions. I love it!

last thing before this gets too long is this:

the mobile app's pic upload limit is my enemy so I can't share it but I also liked the page before this one, where luffy asks zoro if he needs some help, to which zoro tells him to focus on kizaru instead.

this is such a great showcase of how much they've grown in terms of strength - that zoro can take on one of pre-timeskip luffy's strongest foes now, and that luffy himself is no longer unable to do anything against enemies like kizaru. and yknow, I find it special that luffy can go against him now considering kizaru was the one who almost killed zoro in sabaody - one of those instances in which luffy was genuinely worried, upset and feared for zoro's safety to the point he was actually all teary when rayleigh managed to save him.

I would've liked to see zoro's reaction to nika!luffy since he was knocked out in wano when it first happened, but I suppose he's already seen the wanted poster and his lack of reaction now isn't that out of character probably. godly power up or not, that's still his silly gremlin captain ig. can't wait to see what else is in store for these guys in this arc and onwards!

[doyozen]

hola <3. can i request idolbf!haech feeling insecure, jealous and getting sulky bc he thinks, gn!reader is spending too much time w their male friend? and gn!reader makes it up to him w cuddles and assures him that he's the only one. love ur work <3

Hi lovely thank you for your request❤️ i hope you enjoye and thank YOU for loving my work ILY!!

idol!haechan x gn!reader

genre fluff

warnings haechan is a jealous boy </33

you were incredibly proud to say that lee donghyuck is the love of your life, although your relationship wasn’t perfect just like every other relationship in the world, the two of you hardly got into serious arguments and always found ways to talk clearly about your feelings.

haechan warned you that when you started dating, there was going to be times he was much too busy to spend time with you, and you understood that. you were fully aware that he’s an idol and is going to be busier than you liked, but you loved him enough to push through it and cheer him on.

it had started up again, nct 127 was preparing for a tour and your already very hard working boyfriend was pushing himself to his limit. you were worried, of course, but he insisted that he was strong enough and there was nothing to be concerned about.

“do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked, turning away from his gaming setup to plop next to you onto his bed. you instantly dropped your phone next to you to give him your full, undivided attention.

the bed dipped a bit when he got comfortable next to you, and you felt all of your stress and worries disappear with him being next to you and pulling you into him. “um, i think somin and myungsoo wanted to get lunch?”

his head perks up a bit, “myungsoo?”

“yeah, you met him, remember? at my birthday party a couple months ago?”

the boy thinks for a bit and then hums. “right, yeah, i remember.”

“we haven’t seen each other since the party, so it’ll be nice to catch up!” you continue, not thinking a single thing of it.

you hadn’t thought anything of it because the entirety you’ve been dating haechan, he had you believing he was not the jealous type, which was a big fat lie. of course you never really did much to make him jealous, not because you felt like you couldn’t have guy friends, you just didn’t have many friends in general. haechan tries to swallow the jealousy bubbling inside him because he didn’t want to seem like a crazy, overprotective boyfriend.

to his own surprise, he doesn’t think much of it the next day, he found himself getting over it over-night because at the end of the day, you chose him, and he chose you. he had no reason to be jealous.

“who’s this on y/n’s story?” mark asks him, pointing his phone in his groupmates direction to reveal a picture of the two friends and your lunch posted on your instagram story.

haechan sighs and grabs a towel to wipe the sweat dripping down his forehead, leaning in to get a good look at what mark was showing him.

fuck, he thinks, he’s attractive. why does mark know me so well? or… he thinks he does. i am NOT jealous. i’m their boyfriend. not him.

“what do you mean? that’s their friends, duh,” he says in a tone that made it seem like it was obvious, and it was. mark was just very used to seeing his best friend get jealous even over him having other friends. although it was secretly adorable, it was unlike him.

“right…” the older sings, not saying another word as the two of them got up to finish practice.

haechan calls you that night and even though it was quite late and you both were exhausted, you never went a day without talking on the phone. “hi, baby.” he greets, and your heart skips a beat at the pet name.

“hi,” you grin, “how was your day?”

“tiring,” he groans without hesitation, “taeyong hyung was being a little bitch—sorry, he’s a great leader but i absolutely hate when he puts on the strict leader act. it drives me crazy.”

you laugh at your boyfriends rants. “poor baby.”

“yes, feel bad for me. i have it so hard,” he sarcastically pours and you glare at him, making him raise his hands in defense. “sorryyyy. how was your day?”

“it was fine, i had fun with somin and myungsoo, and i had yummy food, but… i was thinking about you all day.”

haechan gasps and puts his hand to his heart, squeezing his eyes shut playfully. “y/n… cuteness overload. don’t do this to me.” he was so cheesy but it was so cute that you couldn’t help but laugh every single time.

the conversation goes on and he’s relieved that the day is over, because that means you’d never hang out with myungsoo ever again. or he was just telling himself that to feel better, because he would never ask you to stop hanging out with your friend when you didn’t even do anything wrong.

but then you do hang out with myungsoo… again. and again.

haechans becoming busier by the day and you miss him like crazy, you felt alone and isolated and so you try to out get of the house more to make yourself feel better, and convince yourself that you don’t have to depend on your boyfriend to have fun but it was just too damn hard. however, it doesn’t even cross his mind that you wanted to distract yourself from how much you miss him. he can’t stop thinking about how much time you’re spending with myungsoo.

his main concern was that you would tell him when you were hanging out with myungsoo, just not what you were doing together. he couldn’t help his clouded thoughts and started to get insecure over you and your attractive friend becoming closer. he wouldn’t have known that you never hung out with other guys alone unless it was in public, because he never bothered to ask.

“hiii,” you sing, “i miss you so much.”

“i miss you too,” he deadpans from the other side of the phone, and you feel your face drop.

“you okay?” you knew he wasn’t, you knew you had every right to be worried for his well-being, he should’ve listened to you when you told him to take care of his health first, you thought.

“i’m alright, just tired,” he says.

you nod to yourself, feeling bad that you can’t help him, but more feeling guilty for being upset that he wants to sleep more than he wants to talk to you. “oh, okay. go to sleep, babe. we’ll talk tomorrow.”

you wait for him to sleepily insist that he’s perfectly fine and he’d rather stay up all night talking to you, but he doesn’t this time. “okay, i love you. i’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

you stay silent for a second but respond. “goodnight.”

the phone hangs up and you immediately regret not telling him you love him back, you don’t even why you wouldn’t say it back, and now he’s going to sleep thinking you don’t love him. you panicked and couldn’t help but feel like it was something more than him being tired, but you couldn’t push or force it out of him.

the thought keeps you up at night and so the morning after, you text haechan good morning and tell him you were sorry for not saying i love you. you thought he probably hadn’t thought much of it and you were being dramatic, but he tells you it’s okay and that he understands if you were upset.

that’s when you take matters into your own hands and message one of the members.

you: mark

is haechan okay

mark: he seems fine to me

why?

you: hes been kind of distant lately

and not in the way that he’s busy with schedules and things like that, but it feels like there’s something he’s not telling me

i’m sorry i dont want to be that type of partner but im seriously worried for him

mark: oh y/n :( he hasnt said anything to me im really sorry

he hasnt even seemed off to me at all, like hes pretty normal at practice and rehearsal

well as normal as haechan gets

and don’t apologize thats really sweet of you hes lucky to have you seriously

you: oh okay

why is he distant to meeee im sad

but thank you anyways

mark: ofc!

you realize quickly after that you probably shouldn’t have done that, because mark telling you that he seemed completely normal in his presence made you feel even worse.

you hadn’t seen each other in a little over two weeks and you figured it may have just been getting really hard on him not seeing you, the same as it was for you not seeing him. you didn’t want to assume anything but you also didn’t want to believe that he could’ve been mad at you for something.

for the first time in a good week, you cancel your plans with myungsoo and take the day to prepare to surprise your boyfriend.

you didn’t tell him that you’d be at the dorms when he got home that night, and so you picked up a few of his favorite snacks and drinks and made yourself comfortable in his bed while you waited for his arrival. after about an hour of being alone in the dorm, you hear the front door open and your heart starts pounding.

you had no idea why you were nervous to see yor boyfriend at all, maybe because you were worried he really was mad at you and the plan would backfire.

still, you pretend to not be phased and look relaxed as his footsteps get closer, and soon enough his door swung open and there he stood. his eyes immediately lock with yours and you watch his blank expression change to surprise. every single negative thought leaves his mind at the sight of you, and you can visibly see the tension leave body as his shoulders drop in relief.

“hi,” you greet sweetly, standing from his bed and be drops his bag without a word and walks over to you.

haechan still says nothing when he wraps his arms around you, damp with sweat but you honestly couldn’t care less. you return the gesture and you comfortably hold each other in silence for a little while.

“i know it’s late, i’m sorry,” you apologize once you pulled away.

“what’re you doing here?” he asks, disregarding your statement. not that he wasn’t happy to see you, just wasn’t prepared to face you after getting in his head about you and your hot friend.

“i was worried about you, and i miss you.”

his eyes become even softer, suddenly feel guilty and he drops his head. “i’m sorry.”

your furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “what for?”

“preparing for tour has been more difficult than i thought, and i’m exhausted, and you’re the only person who makes me feel sane and it’s so fucking hard when i can’t see you. i just miss you and… and, i don’t know. you have a really hot friend and it makes me sad because he’s hot. i wish he was ugly.” he rants.

you listen to him in full understanding at all his words, until he got to the last statement. “i get you, and i miss you too… but, are you—are you talking about myungsoo?”

“i know it’s stupid and trust me, i feel stupid but i don’t know…” he pouts, “you’ve been spending a lot of time with him…”

you know the situation was a very un-laughable situation, but you truly can’t help but chuckle at his mumbled words when talking about myungsoo. “haechan… myungsoo and i are just friends, i promise. i’ll stop hanging out with him if you want—“

“no, i know you’re just friends and i am not accusing you of anything,” he replies quickly, “i don’t want you to stop hanging out with him because of me. i just hate how attractive he is. i’m sorry. it’s stupid but i feel insecure for some reason.”

you nod, “i hear you, and it’s not stupid. i could’ve been better at reassuring you, but you’re my boyfriend… not him. i love you, not him. i don’t think i need to tell you that you’re hotter than him, your head is big enough.”

you smile when you manage to break a laugh out of him. “no, actually, it’s not. i need you to tell me how hot and sexy and awesome i am or i’ll cry.”

you playfully sigh and after he sits down on his bed, you crawl into his lap with your legs hanging over his and your arms wrapped around his neck. “lee haechan, you are the most attractive person i have and will ever lay my eyes on. you are so perfect inside and out, and i love you.”

he didn’t expect you to take it seriously as the two of you joked around way too much but he was pleasantly surprised with your response. he gives you a cocky smirk, but you can tell his heart was beating fast in his chest and his stomach was exploding in butterflies. “you promise?”

you nod as he hugs your waist tighter, “i promise.”

then he sighs loudly and falls back into his bed, taking you with him. “i’m so in love with you, it’s sick.”

“don’t ever get jealous again, i’m yours, and you’re mine,” you say, “and it’s only and always you—”

“y/n, please,” your boyfriend stops you, “my heart can’t take this.”

“and, there will never be a reason for you to be jealous or insecure.” you fight a laugh, watching him bury his face into your neck shyly. he wasn’t shy whatsoever, you just managed to make him flustered. it was basically a super power.

“now that i know this is what it takes to get you to compliment me, i’m gonna get jealous much more often,” he nods.

you gasp, slapping a hand on his chest which only earns you a laugh from him. “shut up! i compliment you all the time! don’t like you don’t watch your own fancams, either.”

“i knowwww, i’m kidding, i love you. thank you for giving me all the compliments in the world.”

you hum in satisfaction, “yes, of course. i love you so much.”

the boy leans over and equips you with a very sloppy kiss right on your cheek, to which you groan in disgust at the feeling of his saliva but smile lovingly. “i love you more.”

[vasito-de-leche]

I saw your post regarding the Self-Aware R1999!AU and it was good and mind-blowing! Now I'm wondering how will it go with 6 or 37 regaining consciousness, considering that they're always seeking for the "truth", and maybe the Reader's existence would heighten the quest for the truth more!

;R1999 37 - Self Aware AU

Headcanons about how 37 would act upon becoming self-aware. Related to this Self-Aware AU post.

I RECENTLY FINISHED 6'S ANECDOTE, SO NOW I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS THIS ASK IS A GREAT EXERCISE TO GET THE BRAIN GOING o7

this post only contains 37, since it got a little long and I didn't know how to format it the usual way because I LOVE rambling and rambling. I think there's another ask somewhere about 6 in the self-aware AU, so I'll get to that one soon!

also I think this post is impossible to read if you haven't read chapter 5 at least, bc I use a lot of the terms used in Apeiron!

37 is such an interesting character. Okay okay, bear with me for a bit while I get all of my 37 thoughts out of my brain!

I feel like people downplay how cruel or detached she can be. Because of her innate ability to see numbers in everyone and everything, essentially seeing "the truth" and being able to provide Proof to support her claims, 37 lives disconnected from her entire community while also being upheld as a genius and beacon of progress. She's the "Star of Hermes," after all.

A lot of her character focuses on this alienation and "othering," how her mindset and beliefs set her apart from others as she cannot understand the importance of soul numbers from an emotional standpoint--like she says in the main story, she's always known she's 37. Everyone's known this. And she does not understand the importance of knowing WHY she's 37. She doesn't care about the traits assigned to each number, that is meaningless rhetoric to her, what matters is the final result. She's 37, and that's it. She upholds the purity of numbers, practically worships this pure aspect of the world of Forms. She's at her happiest when she talks about how numbers will always be numbers, no matter who tries to figure them out, or when or how.

And we also see the cruel aspect of her that I believe people overlook--37 admits that she enjoys revealing people's numbers because she wants to be the first to prove this truth. It's only near the end of Chapter 05 that she wonders, if only briefly, whether being the first to prove someone's number means that she knew the truth better. Other than that, she has absolutely NO trouble revealing Vertin's number, nor attempting to tell Sophia her own number as kids--and 37, while she does not care for the rhetoric of numbers and their assigned virtues, knows how much the journey of self-discovery means to her entire community. And she still chose to do this, because she does not see the value in the process.

This isn't to say that she's exclusively a cruel character nor a misguided little baby, I would say that she's cruel the same way a child can be--37 is a very lovely and complex character! I just think people take her cute appearance at face value and forget the extent of her abilities and her perception of the world.

In the context of a Self-Aware AU, I believe that this self-awareness would be recontextualized as yet another eternal truth for her. Her curiosity wouldn't be applied to this, because there is nothing to figure out--the world has always been a game, that's it. Instead of focusing on the emotional or existential aspects, 37 would focus instead on the "guidelines" that rule this fake world.

It would revolve around the mechanical aspects: she understands that every fight follows a set pattern, as this is a turn based combat game. She wants to know why some people stand out, why they're assigned as 6 or 5 or 4 or 3 or 2 stars. Why not a 1 star? Why not 10? Why this system in particular? Why doesn't Sophia have any stars? Is it because she hasn't figured out her number yet? No, that can't be, because 210 also lacks stars. And so on and so forth.

The focus will still be numbers, so she would be the perfect assistant for Players who care a lot about meta!

I'm also willing to say that 37 would be one of the very few characters who has no trouble at all coping with the fact that she's a character in a videogame. To know that she's a bunch of "code" wouldn't change a thing for her, because she was already 37 in the first place!

There is also the aspect of finding out that her mother's death (as well as Sophia's father) was scripted. I'm going on a long tangent here, so bear with me for a second.

I feel like... 37 would see that as a positive thing? First of all, we know that the death of everyone in that boat was caused because of a miscalculation from Sophia and 37's part, which is the catalyst for 37's Emanation research. I do believe that, even though 37 shows little to no (conventional) emotion in that specific moment, she still grieves and mourns in her own way--and the way she does that is by clinging onto the one thing that is left of her mother: her pneuma analysis and research, the computer that stopped working, the pattern of the "Storm". We are told that 37 became a recluse, isolating herself even more from her community, when her and her mother's research was proven to be wrong, that she only came out of her lab when Vertin and her team arrived. We see her muttering while unconscious in the cave with Vertin, calling out for her own mother and telling her that their research wasn't wrong, that they were right all along (because they were missing one vital piece of information that only an outsider like Vertin could deliver).

Second of all, we know that 37 does not understand nor care about fate, she does not care for wordplay that muddies the true essence of numbers. So she would not think that the death of all those people can be attributed to something as vague and nonsensical as "fate."

Third and final point of this tangent, 37 does not like to be proven wrong. Or rather, 6's character event shows us that, no matter what she's told or how she behaves, 37 will always believe that she's in the right.

With all of this in mind, I think that finding out that this accident was something scripted--that is to say, part of the "truth" (or canon, from our perspective) of this world--would reinforce 37's beliefs. This miscalculation was a mistake born from her former self, the 37 that did not truly understand the world, before she achieved self-awareness. And now that she's wide awake, there's no way that she could ever make a mistake like that ever again. If else, I can see her being mildly irritated that it took her this long to open her eyes, struggling with the fact that she's not the first person to become self-aware. And just like she casually reveals other people's numbers, she would dangle the knowledge of self-awareness in front of others instead of keeping it secret.

On the subject of finding out about the Player, I'm not quite sure how 37 would react. Sure, 37's life is ruled by the same dogma that rules everyone else within Apeiron, but her approach is devoid of that same spiritual and religious devotion that others like 210 carry. Like we see in 6's character event, 37 does not care about the importance of the number 6 nor whoever holds the title, because the "truth" is that everyone within that bloodline is going to inherit the title at some point or another. Compare this to 210, who treats the previous 6 (Atticus' aunt, Alma) with such reverence.

So perhaps that's how 37 would act, then? This "divine" figure is yet another 6 for her, someone who has all relevant knowledge, nothing more and nothing less.

I like to think that 37 is able to see the Player very clearly right away, the same way she can see people's numbers, whereas 6 is the one who can hear them clearly, the same way he inherits the Revelation from his ancestors.

And unless you're another super math genius like her, I can absolutely see 37 pouting about it. How come someone like you gets to be "outside" in the world of Forms? Maybe she becomes curious about finding "proof" of your world, to confirm whether you live in the world of Forms or something else entirely, perhaps yet another world of Matters, full of Fragments. Realizing that the world the Player lives in is practically identical to her own--minus the existence of integers and fractions, just a world full of imaginary numbers--would be a curious experience for 37.

I can also see 37 telling Vertin the Player's own soul number the moment she figures it out, perhaps as a way to repay the favour for the events of Chapter 05. Assuming she survives that bomb, I actually don't know what happens in Chapter 06 LMFAO....

Long story short, not many would realize that 37 has become self-aware, since her behaviour remains largely the same. And it wouldn't affect her as deeply as it affects other characters.

[chirpsythismorning]

Something that does genuinely concern me is the possibility of the Duffer’s being a major conflict of interest when it comes to supporting the strike out in the open. They’re not just writers but also producers and the show runners. Arguably they have the tightest relationship of any production to Netflix, and so just knowing that they’ve always been very much intertwined, are they going to be willing to voice their support for the strike, beyond just being WGA members who likely voted in support of the strike? Like even the cast, complete silence. I know that it can be hard for a lot of reasons, but the complete silence, besides that one writer who posted about it, has me side eying the situation as it’s unfolding.

For the last few Friday’s, they’ve been active posting about stuff, and so are they going to keep that going by posting today, hopefully something to agknowledge the strike, or are they going to just act like nothing is going on and carry on with Easter egg like content? Or worse, are they not going to post at all and so we won’t even know what to think?

It’s just so weird bc they’ve known about this strike for months now. They’ve known about it when they’ve been stringing fans along with little things over the last month. And now, silence, at a time when silence is not the best choice, especially when they are the hugest show in television rn. The duffers coming out and saying something about putting pressure on Netflix would actually have the capacity to get something to happen, and yet they don’t… and it makes me think they’re a conflict of interest bc unlike their writers, they get paid A LOT!

And when it comes to filming starting, I’m concerned that just because they have the first few scripts written and finalized, the Duffers are just gonna say fuck the strike go through with it and start the production for those earlier episodes, either without any writers present bc they’re on strike and so no rewrites, meaning we’re risking the quality not being as good as it would be with them. Or worse, the Duffers are gonna go cross picket lines and scab, and rewrite the scenes themselves essentially going against the strike and their own writers to side with the studios that want it done…

Like I want Stranger Things filmed as soon as possible, I really do. But I also am a little bit unsettled by s5 being soured just knowing they chose a route that sided with corporations and not the writers getting paid mf crap while they are in Netflix’s pockets.

Even though I’m skeptical, I’m still hopeful that they’ll say something, maybe the st writers Twitter will make a statement for all the writers, including the duffers to show their support. But just considering how quiet it’s been, I do wonder how they view the situation.

Do they think it will be over at any moment, without their interference and so they’re just waiting for that? Are they genuinely being advised to say nothing, including the cast and so that’s going to be the case until this is over (if it’s even over any time soon).

Like wtfff is going on in their brains I need to know what they’re thinking about all of this.

Bc them being silent all throughout or even worse doing the exact opposite of supporting the strike by literally starting filming anyways against all of their writers best interests, would be the worst possible course of action. The final season won’t be remembered for all the love and dedication put into it, it’ll be remembered for the greed. And that pisses me off bc the writers don’t deserve that! This is their baby and they’re literally out here risking it all to have a live-able wage, only to be undermined at the risk of everything. It fucking sucks.

[onemillionfurries]

not for nothing, but around 2021 the CEO of the studio behind palworld was tweeting about ai generated pokemon designs, and how he “can almost not tell the difference,” referencing that exact article, actually. I do not think every single design was ai generated or that any ai references were used from start to finish with no human touch, but the CEO is very openly interested in ai technology and its applications in game development! I don’t think its a stretch to guess it may have been used somewhere in the pipeline. and as someone who also messed around with fakemon generators when the tech was still a bit novel, some of the designs do have that ai stink to them, even from around that time.

yeah i chose that article specifically bc i knew that the CEO had referenced it in a tweet. I WANTED to get into it in the post, but it was also 9am and I hadn't gotten a wink of sheep that night (... bc i was up all night playing palworld WHOOPS--) (im writing this off a 2 hour nap so pls forgive me if it's incomprehensible)

I remember the whole "palworld used ai to gen its monsters" narrative literally started because someone qrt'd someone pointing out that CEO's tweet and extrapolated that because the CEO spoke positively on AI generated pokemon, then the game MUST have AI generated monster designs which... wasn't what the original tweet was saying at all. but unfortunately nuance and reason is like poison to twitter so the speculation spiraled from there. (not like tumblr is much better. but I at least have the space to explain myself here, however poorly that may be :P)

And like, the unfortunate thing is that nearly /every/ CEO is interested in AI. their whole job is to make money, not art. some are just louder about it than others. with the insane crunch that the pokemon developers go through, I wouldn't be surprised if AI is also used in those games somewhere in the pipeline, whether that's in the past or a future release.

Let's also not forget when the pokemon company international was interested in hiring simeone with knowledge in NFT/web3 technology. if we're automatically assuming that open interest in something means that it's implemented, or that it will be at some point, then we better get to boycotting pokemon now!

I wanna be clear that I'm not defending the use of AI art in game development. it may very well be that AI /was/ used somewhere in the Palworld pipeline. I just don't want people to be asserting something as true with little to no actual evidence. ever since I got "called out" by an ex-friend of mine for some heinous shit that i quite literally never did, I've been a lot more diligent in figuring out if something people are freaking out about on social media IS actually true, or if it was a mountain made out of a molehill, as it tends to be 99% of the time.

(btw I'm curious as to what pals you think have that AI stink to them? im generally trying to avoid spoilers for later game pals bc i wanna discover them on my own, but if you wanna send a list or something that I can look up when im further in the game I'd be interested.)

[mpregfrance]

i saw you say that you’re take on spamano diverts from canon and honestly i’d love to know more about it, i feel like most spamano shippers do this and i love hearing all takes because i feel like they’re all interesting! and i love them so so much!! do you have any hc’s that you think are unpopular with the fandom?? or do you like they way spamano is represented for the most part??

Hi! Thanks so much for the ask 💕 If you're the same anon who sent the last one I'm working on it. To answer honestly, I don't interact with Spamano fanwork enough to know what is and isn't popular or accepted as fanon these days.

But I'll hesitantly say that no, I think my views on this ship differ from that of the fandom status quo, as they usually do. I don't say this for the sake of being edgy or a need to always play contrarian, but bc I have a unique perspective.

Disclaimer; long post ahead. my opinion was asked for and you're about to receive it. Everything stated is opinion and I'm not discrediting alternate headcanons.

So I'll start by saying I'm not an expert on Spain's history or characterization. I have mentioned this before but the way Himaruya chose to portray him is a bit odd to me. Then again, Hetalia nations aren't really direct representations of their government, but instead stereotypes of their people. If everyone was accurate they'd all be unsympathetic assholes.

Spain as an empire was once a ruthless colonial force, and as a nation in more recent centuries they have a history of fascist rule, violent uprising and general civil discord.

Spain as a character is a sunny, bubbly himbo after he lost his reputation as a global power. I think he has a tendency to downplay the harm he's caused in the past and manipulate others into viewing him as a shiny happy goofy airhead.

Don't get me wrong, I think Antonio is adorable. He's cute, right? Dude's main personality trait is having a GREAT ASS 🍑 and liking tomates 🍅 He loves to cook and dance and do fuck all. The Hetalia wiki describes him as a, quote, 'cheerful country bumpkin' and honestly, let's go with that for the sake of his personhood?

This is why I like human AU. I enjoy reading historical Hetalia, but writing it isn't for me. As a creative, I don't want to operate within the limits of real world events and not gonna lie I prefer writing them as people!! And that's where I exercise some divergence from canon.

So obviously there's the dynamic of boss and his underling that existed when Romano was young. We can't entirely ignore that that arc exists and is part of his character development, but when Romano grows up I don't see them that way, and there's no denying their romantic potential.

I hear, and understand the common criticisms of Spamano. I don't view them as related, and Romano is not Spain's territory anymore. To me it's fair game. Hetalia is complicated bc well... these nation-beings are hundreds of years old, therefore the case for morality in shipping isn't black and white.

Personally I don't believe any ship is 'too problematic' to exist. I'm of the opinion that we can explore just about any dynamic in fiction as long as we do it mindfully. I'm a multishipper, these characters are all so versatile.

This might sound silly to say about an anime character but my analysis of Romano's personality is more in depth. As someone of Italian descent I recognize his stereotypical traits; and feel pretty strongly about his mischaracterization.

For one, he has a small dog Napoleon complex and that's a big thing for Italian guys (more on that later)

In canon (i.e. world history and Hetalia itself) when Romano was young, Spain did spend a lot of money protecting and defending him. Now as an adult he feels guilty, like he has an obligation to him, and he doesn't want to be seen as weak, reliant or incapable ever again. I don't think he'd allow himself to be dominated, in any way, or even want to be.

Here's an unpopular opinion; he is very masculine, but I think people have a hard time comprehending what constitutes masculinity.

And I'm not saying Antonio is therefore feminine. They're both cis men to me, and switch in the bedroom, but I will admit I prefer Lovino as the generally more dominant partner - in a physical and hierarchical sense.

Ultimately I don't think they box themselves into heteronormative roles all too much. Maybe for funsies, because Lovino likes feeling needed and Antonio to me doesn't have the discipline it takes to wear the proverbial pants in the relationship.

In a comic strip, Spain proposed to Romano when same-sex marriage became legal, and he basically said yes as long as you cook for me?? They're husbands!! It's canon 😎

It's a bit hard to explain, but in my perspective, Lovino would protect and cherish Antonio like a man would his 'wife'. He's his Carino. His Tesoro. His Amorino. Toni might be taller than him, but he's always talking to him like a child - mostly affectionately, but we've seen otherwise.

One of my favourite Romano lines is from the April Fools episode, "No talking to me when you look stupid", that to me is a defining moment of their relationship 💖💖💖

So anyway, this attitude of his brings me to the topic of Maschismo. If you're not familiar with that term, it's a performative, arrogant, and fragile brand of toxic masculinity that's prevalent in men of Mediterranean and Latin American descent. Any man can be machismo but the term is associated with these cultures.

(Again I'm of Mediterranean descent, I have lived experience with this, please don't think I'm racist and if that's legitimately your takeaway you have the reading comprehension of a sea cucumber)

In machismo society, men are discouraged from showing any emotion except anger. They're expected to be strong, and are extremely affected by any implication of personal failure, or threat to their (imagined) role as top dog. When something upsets them, aggression is the default response.

Men affected by machismo are often possessive, competitive, and motivated by material success; because there's an expectation to provide for - and honor - your family. They will often talk over women, objectify or ignore them completely, like second class citizens.

Whether this was a conscious intention or not, Hima actually does a great job at displaying Romano as a machismo poster boy. He's simultaneously expressive and repressed. He's stubborn, defensive and argumentative, and if that doesn't say Italian dad to you then you're probably a WASP /hj

What the fandom might see as a little tsundere uke, I see as machismo tough guy. He's not soft, that's the thing, but he deserves space to be soft because so does everyone. Maybe Antonio does bring that out in him. But it's not easy and it's not for anyone else to see. He pretends to hate when Toni calls him cute because he doesn't allow himself to feel appreciated on that level. He actually has a deep, unspoken respect for Antonio. It's just easier to tease him.

And he actually does care. He just does it in a way that isn't instantly recognisable as caring because it's not 'gentle'. He's jealous of Feliciano because he's the 'nice' brother. He's concerned for Feli when others mistreat him. That concern and protectiveness translates into condescension and ironically, distancing.

Sorry for going so in depth on what is essentially old man land mass yaoi, if you've read this far thank you and congratulations I guess.

[keylozmi]

yellowjackets team (alive by season 2) rating and ranking

1. Misty - 9.5/10

i said she was annoying but like i get her now. in both the crash and adult timeline, she has the best story and characterization. maybe because her actresses are so great, but definitely her whole arc is unrivaled.

2. Nat - 9/10

her storylines in both arcs are extremely good. definitely the most important yellowjackets member along with misty, i love their little tandem. i just don't like her purple era but she did find a daughter there!

3. Shauna - 9/10

make up your fucking mind girl! one minute she's against lottie's weird cult shit, the next second she's chasing natalie so she can kill her for food and say the wilderness chose! however her craziness post-birth must be a sort of post natal psychosis. adult shauna makes up like 7 points of the 8.5, she's the better shauna for me because she's a straight up loser with an equally loser husband.

4. Coach Scott - 8/10

high ranking out of pure pity like i am so worried for this man. i hope he's still alive and he's experiencing time-traveling hallucinations or whatever, since time traveling is a pretty big theory. i wish he does survive and all the paul scenes are his present scenes but he's gone off the rocks and thinks he's still in the wilderness. this dude is the only one not extremely or supernatully fucked up bc he didn't participate in the cult thing hopefully. BURN THEM CABINS DOWN BAYBEEE

5. Lottie - 7.5/10

when your schizophrenic dreams are misinterpreted by the rest of the group and you're forced to be the face of cannibalism 😂😂🤣🤣. robbed shauna of her cannibal crown. was just being un-medicated then the rest of the team decided to honor her like a god. there were times were she was annoying but you realize she quite literally has done nothing but every single sidekick of hers decides to speak for her and it just goes wrong every single time.

6. Taissa - 7/10

tie. extremely curious about the bad tai and the man with no eyes, which serves as the only "supernatural" event in the series shown that is not in the wilderness or post-wilderness. it would be fucking crazy if tai was the one who bought "It" in the wilderness instead of it like actually already being there, like maybe that was their home? with all the cult symbols or whatever. sometimes i do just find her boring im sorry, she's just like shauna she's extremely indecisive and it's pissing me off! only 7 bc FREE SIMONE ❤️ joking

8. Travis - 7/10

i pity this man so much but sometimes he's boring and his season 1 arc had me skipping scenes. but his brother went missing, "died", came back, then actually died and then no one said "sorry we had to give up your brother to the wilderness, it was either nat or him and the wilderness chose him! we honestly could've atleast tried in helping him get out of the ice cold water but we were hungy". like can we please give this man a break? i wouldn't be surprised if him and natalie refused to hunt for them, if they're all just going to pick cards and eat each other, why hunt for deer, right?

9. Van - 5/10

i feel like one of the only people with a dislike for van's character like. lottie dickrider, i get you "owe" the wilderness for letting you live like you're obviously the favorite but the way she treats the other yellowjackets pisses me off, especially when she straight up said to travis she wasn't ashamed for sacrificing javi? why is she a stronger indoctrinated christian than lottie? i wish they reveal more about her because to be honest her character's a bit of a blank slate, it would be amazing if they start showing a more deeper relationship between her and whatever's in the wilderness. i feel like, in both the show and the fandom, van doesn't have much to her character without tai. her only storyline without tai is with her mother, which we were shown barely 30 seconds of.

10. Mari - 3/10

i just need her gone

11. girl with the shoulder length hair aka pit girl contender number 56 - 2/10

i remember one line of hers and she was rude to shauna and i just didn't like it

12. lesbian w the cap - 2/10

rude to shauna! dye your hair black and i'll give you a bigger role as possible pit girl number 57

[luce-ing]

why are people fighting on twt about who’s more important for bts? like making so many posts about how bts wouldn’t be anywhere without Jk, is a bit absurd don’t yall think??

genuinely some of these fans have problems. BTS wouldn’t be bts without any of them. Each of them contributed to the project, and worked to achieve this great harmony that the members have.

Fighting for who would be more successful without bts is also as stupid. And pointless. Because as we all have seen this week, if the majority of you wanted to stream and support each member, they all would be equals in streaming and wins and so on. But you lot are so freaking picky, you only stream when it is convenient for you.

So yea, Jk had more international success bc that was his goal with this album. The other members made their albums having different goals or expectations in mind. No one forces anyone to stream something you don’t like; music is there in order for you to enjoy it and im sure bts wants the same thing; but don’t come forward saying jk would do great without bts or that bts needed jk to be this great, because thats simply not true.

bts is a project that is as successful as it is today bc of all the boys work. all of them worked hard for this. And besides their obvious talent, bts work hard to maintain their group environment and make it a safe place for each other. they have chemistry which helps them grow and work together. It’s not only their talent that sustains bts work, but their off camera bond.

lastly, we all have seen this past year that they can release solo albums. they can be successful on their own, in their niche or globally. i don’t think its our right to judge what they chose to do. but at the end of the day, they chose bts. they chose to be together. they chose to do ms within the same time period for them to be together and do group activities after.

they themselves chose bts. so as much yall “fans”whine about your fav ruining their career for not going solo, respect your fav’s decision for wanting to be with bts. thats the least you can do.

[angelicgaming1007]

Im not updating my game Thank you @darkurgediaries for recording all the kisses. Reasons below the cut for my decision: Don't open if you don't want to hear my opinions its fine, you guys can scroll past it no problem.

Ill be honest I hate ascended Astarions kisses besides the 3rd one. the 3rd is the ONLY one I like out of them. I do like the lip bite in the one kiss but I have issues with the kisses overall.

Im not going to get too into it bc I just went on a huge discord rant in dms to some friends about it and sent feedback to larian about it. If you like it, thats great for everyone else but I'm going to stay here on patch 5 until either modders change it or larian themselves do because im tired of feeling shoehorned into good paths if I dont want to feel punished as a player.

And thats how I feel. I feel like with the bhaalist durge ending and now with ascended Astarions kisses that the players are being punished. Thats my personal feelings on the matter and it leave a bitter taste in my mouth and just makes me so goddamned disappointed and let down. On the knees: My issue with this one is his cold facial expressions + tav / durges scared ones + the fact this is not appropriate in many settings especially in public. The expressions make this look ABUSIVE not consensual. It appears cold hearted and distant.

Lip bite kiss: I like the lip bite, its nice. However the way he shoves her face away lowkey looks like hes slapping her. Again it makes it appear abusive and cold hearted.

Karlach's old kiss turned a A!A kiss: This one I actually like but I would like if it was tied to if you chose him to be rough or gentle when being turned and this be an option for if you chose rough.

The reason all of this bothers me: To me it feels out of character The game always emphasized choices. Even on ascended path you could choose what you both would do. hes never been portrayed as abusive. Manipulative and toxic yes. But not abusive. He does love you but these animations do not show it.

In the ending if you manage to get to the end without long resting he LETS YOU GO. he doesn't force you to stay if you break up with him he respects your decision. Likewise he wont force you to become his spawn and is willing to wait until YOU are ready. This shows he respects choice and autonomy

During the scene when he turns you, you can CHOOSE for him to be gentle or rough and he'll comply. AGAIN respects choice and autonomy. These kisses do NOT feel like its respecting your autonomy in any way shape or form with the expressions and rough actions. It doesn't feel consensual because of the expressions and how forceful it is. And im someone whos kinky af and I DO like dominant men but this does not feel like a dom / sub, this does not feel like we're his consort. It doesn't even feel like we're a pet like some people like to justify it as.

These kisses feel like our choices didn't matter. Like it didn't matter what our character wanted or what we as players wanted. Because if we chose for him to be gentle, now hes being rough and our characters DO NOT look like they are consenting.

How do I suggest Larian fixes it?

I get theres people who WILL like these kisses, and im not shaming you or saying its wrong if you do. My suggestions are as follow

Fix the expressions so tav / durge looks more into it and give Astarion a more passionate / loving expression thats less cold

Make the face push less forceful or change the expressions

Make it so your choices on what im dubbing "bite night" matters, if you choose for him to be gentle have kisses different to these ones that are still dominant still possessive but more romantic, passionate and a bit gentler. Think the butt grab kiss something on that line of forcefulness. no grabbing the neck, no pushing the face, no forcing you on your knees if you chose gentle.

likewise if you chose rough have THESE animations, the ones im talking about in this post as the animations for that choice.

Everyone would be kept happy without sacrificing their "Vision" for the game or without screwing another group of fans over.

If you feel the same way send feedback here

[tokillamockingbird427]

hello :)

as it is literally night while im writing this(totally not the only time actually free in my room/desk and go through my mess of thoughts) , i was thinking deeply about a logan (voice) hc that i decided to share here. im not too sure if this was talked about already a LONG time ago but feel free to let me know :D

mainly, it revolves around if he gets comfortable enough and decided to talk around other people besides hesh & elias, because well, social gatherings are scary. but even between elias & hesh, i feel as though he really just uses sign language unless its in a place he truly feels comfortable in talking in.

but getting more into the mans voice, i feel as though he mainly speaks in a whisper, or if anything is a soft speaker. a soft speaker with a raspy, soothing voice with a bit of an accent if we add ur head cannon of hesh & logan being of mixed race bc of mama walker ! (if we add in the (multilingual) hc from my first/second ask, his voice would of course be with a way more deeper accent.) and the reason why i chose him being a soft spoken speaker was mainly cause the walkers kinda generally have a soft spoken voice when theyre not yelling :). (i noticed that when i watched a 4 hour play through for the second time to really analyze the characters for fun.)

now, if we really think about it, his voice is pretty good to fall asleep to and is generally shocking(but not like keegans…his is a whole ‘nother story like your post on it lmao.). and if we add how hes a menace, its something that really catches you off guard when the usually quiet guy is talking so lowly of you with a soft raspy voice.

but ofcourse if we talk about all the ghosts here, hesh would be the main contributor to have him talk more, as the supportive older brother, with elias also following in. not too sure what the other ghosts would do besides surprised pikachu face or being excited over the fact logans starting to get comfortable with them cause i know that shit took long.(i feel like some walruss moments may also happen...)

(my main boost of energy to write this was listening to some S.O.A.D(system of a down) and my very mixed up playlist lmao)

—🎧 anon

Hullo! Good to see you again. I think you did talk about it but only a bit, so I'm very happy to hear you elaborate!

Yes, I agree. Depends on the people he's talking to AND the environment. Like the mess hall? No thank you. Just chilling in his room with Hesh? He'll talk his brothers ear off. (Funny scenario, a Ghostie becoming very confused when they hear two people talking in a room when there's only Logan+Hesh in there because they outright forget Logan's not 100% mute. No briancells for these guys.)

Oh, fun fact, and a less mentioned HC I have, I like to give Logan a tablet for speaking when he encounters people who don't know ASL. Has quick words button but also a place he can just type. And sound effects! He fucking loves the sound effects. I have this HC because he seems to just have a tablet on him a LOT in the game, so why not for speaking purposes?

You and me be shaking hands over combing the game for details lmao. Though tbh I didn't think to focus specifically on their voices, so I now have a reason for another playthrough! >:D

Logan speaks like he's doing asmr lol. But less joking, yes yes, very much I like. I like think Logan might have some gravel in his voice, but unlike Keegan (Majority gravel+bass) his is more raspy than gravely. (And his voice isn't as deep.)

Elias and Hesh being around could be what helps Logan acclimate to speaking around the Ghosts more. They're "safe places" for him, so it could start with him talking to them specifically around the Ghosts, which then transitions to him speaking to the other Ghosts directly.

I think Keegan, being similar in the sense that he's quiet (but not as quiet at Logan) would be the first Logan really speaks too. Which is absolutely something Keegan would love to brag about. He's the favorite after Elias and Hesh and the rest of you can SUCK IT! It's also a tell of how comfortable Logan is with Keegan. He's an outlier because he's not only the first Ghost Logan gets comfortable speaking to, he's also the record holder for how quickly Logan starts speaking to someone. Which may or may not have something to do with the crush Logan has on him.... ehehehe.

[ahamkara-apologist]

you have GOT to post guardian pics I'm begging you. feed us (me?) information about your characters. I must know. it is imperative

TYSM FOR ENABLING ME ANON BC THEY ARE MY BLORBOS AND IM VIBRATING ABOUT THEM. buckle the fuck up because this is gonna be a long fucking post

Okay first up is Aeris Sharphawk- aro/ace, he/him. he's my main character, my hunter, and the Young Wolf of my timeline.

He’s half-Awoken, half-Human (I’ll get to that in a moment, he’s actually an older oc of mine that I ported over from Bloodborne whose bastard nature needed a D2 equivalent), and the older half-brother to my solar titan, Marcelline Attenbough- one of the few little remnants from their past life that they were able to discover in a diary on Marcie’s corpse when they were rezzed together (which occurred because their ghosts are twins). He’s autistic, lawful neutral, and vastly prefers using Darkness over Light because of sensory issues; his ghost (Hoarfrost, previously Mercury) mods his helmets to drastically reduce noise, but he can’t help how Arc tingles, Solar burns, and Void numbs. Tends to spend most of his battles either hyperfocused or dissociated to deal with it. As for the lawful neutral title, that’s because he doesn’t fight for the Vanguard because of a loyalty to humanity, but exclusively for the survival of the Last City and everyone in it. This extended to House Light and the Cabal under Caital instantaneously, and would do so to Eramis if she so chose, because he really just doesn’t take most things personally. He's sometimes derogatorily called 'the Vanguard's Hound' because of this.  

He’s skilled with a bow, and is cursed with a resting haunted stare that can rival even the fiercest bird of prey- hence his title, given to him because his last name wasn’t present in the little diary that Marcie had when they were rezzed. Personality wise, he’s quiet, stoic, extremely efficient at what he does, fiercely protective of those he loves, and deeply curious about the unknown- though if you don’t know him, you’d never be able to guess it, because he struggles deeply with facial expressions and tone, giving him the appearance that he’s ruthlessly cold and unfeeling (pretty much the Guardian we see in game). Because of this, he tends to do much better with Eliksni than most of humanity- bar the Awoken, though Mara makes him deeply uncomfortable- and is thus far more comfortable with them. He’s the moon to Marcie’s sun, and helps keep her in check, for despite her cheery personality, she has a very strong sense of justice and a penchant for impulsive, temperamental behavior when she thinks that justice has been wronged. This goes both ways, however, as Aeris is the very definition of ‘curiosity killed the cat’; he voluntarily gets bit by venomous snakes at venom labs to see how immunity/allergies develops over time, and has a fascination with the Vex that got him a ‘needs watching’ report after he nearly jumped into a pool of radiolaria to see what would happen. The older-brother affection isn’t related to just Marcie, though; he’s unofficially adopted Eido as his younger sister (or kid? Because uhhh that curiosity of his has extended to fucking Misraaks once or twice), and is a mentor figure of sorts to Crow, though he’s unaware that Crow idolizes him; he only hunted Uldren down to keep Marcie out of trouble, as he didn’t like Cayde and was neutral on Uldren, so seeing Crow for the first time didn’t bother him at all. Tutored on occasion by Osiris, and thus has a very deep respect for him. 

People other than Marcie that he likes:  Zavala, Ikora, Osiris, Eido, Misraaks, Eris, and Variks, Petrichor-12 (oc), Viper-4 (oc, lightless guardian), Crow

People he dislikes: Cayde, the Spider, Clovis Bray, Savathun, Mara Sov, Petra Venj (can’t read her very well), anyone who is loud or insistent or confusing 

Primary class (Dark): Stasis

Primary class (Light): Arcstrider

Motifs: Dark, cool blue/silver, viper and hawk symbolism

Likes: Learning about things, working with the Eliksni, being good at being a hunter, bows/glaives/swords, playing with Strand, Gambit (surprisingly)

Dislikes: Crucible, loud noises, fusion rifles, snipers because of the kick (despite being very good with them), shotguns, fans and most other guardians 

Fun fact: When Hoarfrost and Solaris found them, it was in a frigid part of old Russia, with Aeris holding Marcie close to his chest with his back to the door- they had frozen to death while trying to keep each other warm, and were under a thick layer of permafrost. When they were risen, they found out their names, their relationship to each other, and the fact that their father was a cheating bastard who produced Aeris after screwing an Awoken woman for the novelty of it because Marcie had a little diary in her front pocket, which had been somewhat preserved by the cold. Both their ghosts theorize that the reason why Aeris is so drawn to Stasis and Marcie to Solar is because of how they died, though neither guardian will say anything about it. He can also speak near-fluent Eliksni.

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Then there’s Marcie, younger half-sister to Aeris and the sun to his moon; she/her, Solar Titan, lesbian, lawful good. Where he is quiet and introverted, she is loud and bombastic, and where he likes to dart in and strike down his enemies from afar, she likes to punch. I just recently made her in Destiny because the character creation doesn't really match how I see her, hence why she's got Arc on here

(closer to her actual face minus the blue eyes; this is a very old bloodborne pic)

Unlike her half-brother, Marcie is a full human, and- according to the diary she rezzed with- was objectively her father's favorite, though the feeling was not mutual, and their relationship was strained by her taking so kindly to the bastard son he tried to send away. Compared to Aeris, she's bright, bubbly, and outgoing, but has a fierce temper, and is quick to snap if something has pushed her too far-think a jack russel's terrier of a human being. Her ghost's name is Solaris (previously Quicksilver), and she prefers the Light and Solar by far. Her preferred method of combat is to hit first, ask questions later, which can be incredibly effective or incredibly dangerous depending on who's on the opposite end of her wrath. Her and Aeris share many quests together, with me typically attributing all the seasons that I didn’t play to Marcie, given that I didn’t make a Destiny character for her for the longest time. 

She was best friends with Cayde, and was so devastated by his death that Aeris had to go instead, as she would have killed anything and everything in vengeance without a second thought. She did, however, kill Riven- something that Aeris himself was somewhat reluctant to do,given his fascination with the Ahamkara. She's stubborn as a mule, surprisingly strong despite her small stature (well, small-ish), and is an absolute massive lesbian, with her type specifically being 'big strong ladies who can kill me'- which was primarily why she wasn't allowed to fight Eramis, or other big hotties, as she has a pretty hardcore crush on her. (The second reason was that she would have stood and bickered with Eramis about the ethics of what she was doing until either one or the other yielded). Instead, she was assigned to work with Misraaks to evacuate House Light refugees, which ended up being a fortuitous partnership with the coming of the Endless Night. Now, her primary work for the Vanguard consists of aiding Eliksni refugees, along with general alien-human politics and tackling xenophobia, as well as working on being an apprentice Splicer. She is very, VERY passionate about equal rights and will drag you to the Crucible if you fight her- and good fucking luck winning against her, because she fucking loves the Crucible and will beat your ass everytime. She’s somewhat of a local celebrity in that reguard

Her deep fondness for her brother comes primarily from the fact that he is one of the few people to take her seriously without either asking her to calm down or come off as patronizing- he's also a well of stability to her excitable moods, the voice of reason to her hyperempathy. While he keeps her from biting off more than she can chew, she acts as his translator + guide, yanking him back onto the path of sanity if he starts to wander into the Deep, and helping him with dysfunction things that Hoarfrost can’t do. She also enjoys working through the data he collects, even if she has no desire to go searching for it herself, so they make a good pair- even if, like most siblings, they will argue over every little thing and sometimes drive each other up the walls with their stubbornness.

I've already mentioned that she got along with Cayde, but her other friends at the tower are Shaxx, Drifter, Saint-14, and Ada-1. Misraaks is her mentor, as well as one of the few people who can talk her down from stupid shit, with uh…questionable results. And while she couldn't stand the sight of Crow when Aeris dragged him back, she managed to befriend him reguardless, mostly because he was so different from the Uldren she remembered that she couldn’t help but accept him for who he was. She often went out drinking with him and Amanda, and was devastated when she died. 

People she likes: Cayde, Shaxx, Drifter, Saint-14, Ada-1, Misraaks, Crow, Amanda (rip), Caiatl

People she dislikes: Uldren Sov, The Osmium Siblings, The Spider, Lakshmi-2, anyone against the Eliksni or people who are rude to Aeris, Calus

Likes: Crucible, Gambit, fucking around with weapons in new and creative ways, going out to drink with friends, playfully flirting, helping with construction work around the Eliksni District, playing around with the Light, moths and other fuzzy creatures

Primary Class (Light): Solar

Primary Class (Dark): Strand

Dislikes: Fighting Eliksni, any exploding enemies that she can’t punch, bows because Aeris will always be better than her at using them, the fact that Aeris fucked Misraaks at one point for science, being alone, her inability to score a girl who isn’t a war criminal

Motif: crimson and gold, bears or lion with eagle wings

Fun fact: Her grasp on Eliksni is actually more fluent than Aeris, and she spends a good deal of her time in the Tower socializing with people while he’s off doing…whatever.

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Okay, now onto Petrichor-12, who decided to nope out of being a Guardian so I deleted their slot to make Marcie before I really did anything to dazzle them up

Petrichor-12 is a now-retired guardian that actually came from a dream I had before I even played Destiny. They/them or he/him, neutral good, Void titan, ghost is seldom-speaking and called Whisper. Neutral good. I attribute them with D1 content, so they’re the guardian that killed Crota and Oryx, though Marcie and Aeris were also there to help.

Petrichor is an older, somewhat quiet, melancholy do-gooder that's been haunted by guilt ever since they found out the memories of who they were via the Deep Stone Crypt- a bodyguard for Clovis Bray that was turned to a path of anger, abuse, and violence after agreeing to be tested on for power, and got corrupted by the Darkness. This, paired with being rezzed in the Dark Ages, means that they have a lot of trauma surrounding violence, power, and the dilemma of being made to kill when all you want to do is save people. As such, Eramis's predicament troubles them greatly, and while it was them who gunned her down in conjunction with Aeris, they often found themselves returning to her frozen body on Europa to talk to her (presumed corpse) about Darkness corruption in a sort of venting monologue-advice system, which worked both as a way of fending off their troubles as well as keep an eye on her state- though now that she’s defrosted they’ve vowed never come near her again out of embarrassment. 

While retired, they are a stalwart defender of anyone who needs it and a keeper of peace, driven partially by a genuine desire to do good and a need to prove themselves not the person that they used to be. No longer able to mingle with other guardians or humanity at large due to PTSD from what they learned, they live in the Botza district as an ambassador between the Eliksni and humanity, they like to knit + quilt in their free time, teaching whichever hatchlings will listen and getting tutored on weaving by old Wolves in return. They're also 6'3", so…lorge. Zavala and Misraaks are the two people they talk to the most outside of the Eliksni refugees, and they drop by to say hi to Eva and knit with her whenever they have the chance. The war with the Witness is threatning to bring them out of retirement, something that they are deeply unhappy with. 

People he likes: Namrask, Misraaks, Saladin, Zavala, Ikora, Osiris (recently), Marcie and Aeris, Saint-14, Eris (complicated)

People they dislike: Themselves, Osiris (formerly), Eramis (reminds them of themselves), Ghaul, Oryx, Xivu Arath, Clovis Bray, anyone who goads them to fight, Elsie and Ana Bray by association, Rasputin 

Motif: gold and sapphire blue, used to have a gryphon motif but stopped wearing it because they don’t want to be recognized as the Kingkiller

Likes: Knitting, sewing, weaving, gardening, really anything restorative they can do with their free hands that forces their mind not to wander

Class (Light): Void, sometimes Arc

Class (Dark): no.

Dislikes: War, fighting, being a guardian, everything that has to do with what they used to be, anything Braytech sciences, the cumulative trauma from the Dark Ages and seeing recordings of who they used to be in the Deep Stone Crypt, their own fear of themselves

Fun fact: Petrichor-12 can speak Eliksni fluently, having modulated their voice and hearing to be able to incorporate the subsonic clicks and chirps in their speech, and is now working on learning Ulurant despite not at all liking the Cabal empire

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Ash: Another dream character of mine, and my newest Guardian (so she’s somewhat of a wip). She/her, solar + void warlock, chaotic neutral to lawful evil depending on her mood. Pansexual but bitchless. Rezzed in the tail end of the Dark Ages, just long enough for her to see how horrible everything was but not long enough to see the true extent of it. Scholar of the Light, and most recently a scholar of the Dark as well.

Ash is a warlock with an awful temper, a moral code that changes on a whim, and a ravenous appetite for knowledge that comes at the cost of everyone else, including herself. Her ghost (an anxious and caring little lass) is called Nutmeg, and is pretty much the only indicator that she has a soft spot. Ash dedicated herself to learning how to get closer to the Light, but unlike the more conventional meditations that people usually do to, she was inspired by ancient Greek priestesses and decided for a more unconventional route- by doing hard drugs. By getting either extremely drunk or very high, she claims that she overcomes the need for meditation (or, rather, bypasses it entirely because she’s too impatient for it) and gains a deeper connection with her powers, as she’s connecting with it instinctually rather than choosing to seek it out. Nutmeg and many others are not as convinced about this method, but they also can’t deny that it doesn’t have its perks, as Ash does have a very powerful connection to her light- mainly through exploding things, or setting everything around her on fire. It’s how she used to survive the Warlords she’d steal from in the Dark Ages, and she’s known specifically for her ability to mimic a nova bomb, but with solar power, which is strong particularly for how unexpected it is. 

However, being constantly hungover and harbouring no friends doesn’t exactly have its benefits, and as a result Ash is almost always grumpy, abrasive, quick to anger, quick to turn to cruel jibes and mocking when being defensive (which is often), and is generally awful to be around. She has no friends other than Nutmeg (whose bond has become strained as of late, since Ash is now turning to substance abuse for coping with the impending threat of the Witness rather than simply using it for her studies), her apartment is an uncleaned shithole she only uses for crashing in when she’s particularly out of it, and she's constantly in a state of passive-aggressive warfare with Osiris, as she and him used to occasionally cross paths and share research; they might have had a student-teacher dynamic if they didn’t grate so abrasively, and if Ash wasn’t so much of a lone wolf. He’s tried to whip her into shape a couple of times, but to no avail- they just devolved into shouting matches. Pretty much the only people she listens to are the Drifter and Nutmeg, but whether or not she’ll actually take their advice is a toss-up. 

Despite this, she will overall always choose to do what's right and will begrudgingly trudge along with people in random strikes to ensure that important missions get done, as she fears failure more than she does judgment. And yet, to an extent she also fears judgment, for part of the reason why she’s so cruel is to keep people at arm’s length, so as to prevent them from learning her weaknesses- not even her constant complaining about being bitchless will cover up that the core reason why she makes no effort to clean herself up and be nicer is because she fears vulnerability. She’s also brilliant with the Light and cunningly adept with the Dark, which is why the Vanguard continues to ask for her help and expertise.   

People she likes: the Drifter, Hawthorne, Nutmeg, Eido, Toland, Shaxx to most everybody’s surprise

People she dislikes: Pretty much the whole Vanguard and 90% of other guardians, Saladin, the Iron Lords, Osiris, Misraaks, 

Primary class (Dark): Stasis, wants to learn Strand but has a hard time letting go

Primary class (Light): Solar, Void

Likes: Learning nuances of the Light that others don’t go into detail to, connecting with the Light, growing more powerful and shaping it into new, experimental Supers that would make Zavala have a heart attack if he saw them in action, taking leadership in Strikes and prodding around New Lights to teach them about what it is to be a Guardian (but gently), killing assholes to put them in their place, spooking people

Dislikes: Being told what to do, being reminded that she’s a mess, being reminded that she’s afraid and that her behavior is starting to turn self-detrimental, being looked down on by other Guardians, the restrictive nature of Vanguard protocol that keeps her from playing around with her experimental supers, guardians who have no respect or care about mortal lives, getting kicked from bars for fighting said guardians with no respect or care for mortal lives, being reminded that she has a soft side and cares so much for other people that it scares her

Colours/theme: black, flame-gold, and green

Fun fact: Likes the Hive aesthetic, and knows their tongue just for the hell of it. Has quite a bit of fun tormenting and taunting Hive Lightbearers, loves digging around the Osmium Siblings. Despite this, she’s not passionate about the Hive, and doesn’t care one bit if they’re wiped out or not. She also pretty much never takes off the Stag helm, as dropping a rift on death has saved her ass more than once, and tends to sleep in her robes. It’s a miracle that she doesn’t stink something awful, but smells perpetually like smoke instead.

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and last but not least: Viper-4, an ex-guardian who I have almost nothing on because he tends to be a side character: he/him, trans exo, primarily black chassis with red markings, not yet settled on alignment. A friend of Aeris, he's an ex-Hunter who is now the primary caretaker for a variety of venomous snakes whose species have survived the Collapse. He collects their venom to try to recreate old Golden-Age medicines and antivenom- which he does with Aeris's help- and had his forearms modded with soft silicone so that the snakes don't hurt him if they bite him. Generally a friendly and chill guy, but has a melancholy air as most Ghostless do, and wants to learn Strand so that he has some modicum of control over the elements again, as his lack of feeling the Light was the hardest part about his Ghost's death. Much like Brya and Sagira, his ghost sacrificed her to save him, but he blames himself for her death and pretty much entirely refuses to talk about it. Used to be quite adept with Void. I note that he's trans here because it carried over into his exo body, as he was raised with synthetic top surgery scars that were then worked into beautiful engravings of flowers, swords, and snakes by Viper-1

[malvo-ish]

what is a good starbula song

Omg thanks for the ask anon! ❤️💙

Haha I kinda make myself crazy with chosing but let me work that out. :P

Putting a read more bc this gonna be a longer post!

(Please have in mind that's how I interpret lyrics)

For their overall vibe I really love "Superstar" by MARINA. A song about finally feeling belonging with someone, overcoming difficult times together. It's a really beautiful song for this two because it can viewed from both their perspectives:

Before I met you, I pushed them all away Soon as I kissed you, I wanted you to stay What I like about you is you know who you are What you like about me is I know what I'm not

Really love the beginning of the song fitting so perfect on Nebula.

You never judge me for any of my fears Never turn your back, always keep my body near All of the days that we spend apart My love is a planet revolving your heart

While this part is so perfect from Peter's perspective.

And of course the chorus who's just so perfect from both their sides ❤️

I love the way we worked so hard Yeah, we've come so far Baby, look at me, you're my superstar When I'm afraid, when the world's gone dark Come and save my day, you're my superstar

-

Next catergory is "longing"! To specific "Nebula realizing too late she fell for Peter and now yearning for him"! Lyrics should be self explainatory. :) I just dig that vibe on her.

No one can love My closed heart That’s what I believed At some point, my heart is opening My hardened heart Can never get a rush again That’s what I believed Every time I see you, my heart beats

[chorus]

I really don’t want to give Or receive any more scars now That’s what I believed Why does is it like that won’t happen between us It will take a while For the scars in my heart to heal That’s what I believed At some point, I am in your embrace

[chorus]

My heart that became as cold as ice At some point, you softly stole it You are a warm, shining sunlight On my scar, and new skin is growing over it Without me knowing, At some point, I lean on you The heavens might have given me one more chance That’s what I think baby

-

Angsty song for Peter's perspective! Mostly fitting pre-vol3. His feelings while Nebula cared for him, slowly falling for her. Knowing that she's just as broken as him. Knowing they are the same in a way. Two broken souls. Legit the entire lyrics are perfect. XD

Where have you been? Do you know when you're coming back? 'Cause since you've been gone I've got along but I've been sad I tried to put it out for you to get Could've, should've but you never did Wish you wanted it a little bit More but it's a chore for you to give Where have you been? Do you know if you're coming back? We were too close to the stars I never knew somebody like you, somebody Falling just as hard I'd rather lose somebody than use somebody Maybe it's a blessing in disguise (I sold my soul for you) I see my reflection in your eyes I know you're sick Hoping you fix whatever's broken Ignorant bliss And a few sips might be the potion I tried to put it out for you to get Could've, should've but you never did Wish you wanted it a little bit More but it's a chore for you to give Where have you been? Do you know if you're coming back? We were too close to the stars I never knew somebody like you, somebody Falling just as hard I'd rather lose somebody than use somebody Maybe it's a blessing in disguise (I sold my soul for you) I see my reflection in your eyes (tell me you see it too) So close, so close Yet so far away (so far) I don't know (I don't) How to be solo (no) So don't go, oh, no, just stay You and I were bright, shooting through the sky daily (yeah) Lighting up the night, wasn't always right, baby (mm-hmm) Yeah, every time that we realized it's crazy And you save me We were too close to the stars I never knew somebody like you, somebody Falling just as hard I'd rather lose somebody than use somebody Maybe it's a blessing in disguise (I sold my soul for you) I see my reflection in your eyes (I sold my soul for you, I know you see it too) Yeah, I brought same ones too I know you're tired, I know you're tired Just say it, I agree with you Sick of all the poison in me What did I do wrong for me, babe? Uh, I see myself in you, I see myself in you, baby I see myself in you, alright I see myself in you, maybe you should too

-

Bonus: songs I just associate with them without going on full explaination:

[mono-lee-mmxxii]

Alright I'm posting this bc my cherished mutual on main said they'd read it if I did, sorry not sorry if ya follow for TMNT

Nightlights

Chapter/Part One: Drop With Rosie

Tags: Caregivers & Littles AU; Designation AU; dissociation, non-sexual age regression, autistic aroace Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Little Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Caregiver Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Switch Vox (Hazbin Hotel), bad to outright negative self care, everyone has a complex dissociative disorder it came free with your designation, Rosie is a little bit codependent but she is self aware as hell and we love her for it

Summary:

Hell is a fucked up place, but sometimes the people in it can do good things for each other. Alastor doesn't know what to do with that.

Seven years away from Hell had left Alastor in relative privacy to manage the most miserable punishment the Divine Eternity could give to sinners. He didn't find any of the “natural wonder” that Charlie went on and on about in his designation. There was no joy when he thought of the inevitable next time it would come knocking on his door, demanding his time and attention and most disgusting, vulnerability. 

Drops were the bane of Alastor’s life after death. 

Now, he was at the Hotel. Things needed to be different than they had been in the last seven years. 

Rosie was the only person that knew his designation and would respect his privacy in how he handled it. She'd always been a confidant and constant in his life, and one of the few individuals he would deign to call his friend. She was his opposite in many ways, from the way they chose to rule as Overlords, to how they took their tea, and up to including their designations. 

She'd think he was a stupid fool for what he was going to ask of her, but she'd do it anyway. 

His headspace was not, in and of itself, a terrible thing. 

Being a Little was not a punishment more terrible than any he'd inflicted on others; he'd done far worse to people than make them dissociate severely for several hours if their social needs went unmet. Dissociation was undoubtedly the right word, but Alastor wished it came with a side of amnesia as well. Being vulnerable as a Little was something he hated to remember. When he recalls the visceral feeling of losing control of himself, of his own reactions and responses, he wants to raze the entirety of Heaven to the ground until the Divine Himself rescinds this curse. 

Social needs. His face threatened to wrinkle at the very thought. Not social needs as he'd known them in life, as a human. These were needs that scratched an itch in his brain, that soothed tensions he hadn't realized were there, actions that had no meaning before suddenly full of a million things to interpret.

Letting people do things for him, letting himself be held or taken care of. Small things could be used to keep full drops at bay, or at least to ease the severity of a full drop. Drops could even be handled by a Little on their own, if it's not a bad drop. He's seen it. Nifty manages her own drops very well, for the most part, surrounding herself with toys and soft things until the fuzzy headspace has faded.

Most Littles had that. They had a method that worked, or they had people, or sometimes could pay someone, to care for them through their drop cycles. 

Alastor was not most Littles. Eventually his body would force a drop. It had been four months since his last drop, with very little happening in between to meet his social needs or ease the building stress. When he did drop next, it promised to be bad. 

Which was why he was in Cannibal Town. 

In all the years he'd known Rosie, she'd always worn a rose perfume that was heavy and sweet, but it couldn't hide the sharp scent of decay that covered her delicate figure. The smell drifted like an invisible cloud, a heavy odor that announced her arrival before she came into view through the parlor door. She was carrying a tea tray, of course. 

“Oh, Alastor, darling!” Rosie's voice was bright and over the top and she set the tray down to press kisses to both of his cheeks. She urged him to sit, gloved hands pressing on his shoulders with familiar authority. 

“It's been seven years! I refuse to count the Overlord meetings or her Highness's favor. Where have you been?” She demanded. 

“I'm afraid I can't share that one with you, my dear.” Alastor grinned, reaching for the teapot. “Allow me.” 

“No, no, I insist, let me pour for you.” Rosie swatted his hands away from the teapot; the sting, however slight, made him bristle. 

“I can do it myself.” He would deny any testiness in his tone. 

“I know you can, Alastor. But let me? I like to do things for you.”

“Rosie, I am capable of pouring my own tea.” He snapped, and she pursed her lips. Shit. He'd made her mad. 

“Fine, fine. You're a grown man, you can handle yourself. What did you need from me, Alastor?” 

He deliberated on how to say this as he poured, but he already knew what to say. He'd scripted his part of this conversation several weeks ago. 

“I find myself in need of suppressants, my dear.” He said it quietly, taking extra time setting the teapot down with deliberate motions. He needed to collect himself a bit more, and he was frankly glad the teapot wasn't trembling, even slightly. She hadn't slapped him yet, thank the stars. 

“Alastor.” 

“Yes?” He sipped his tea. If he didn't look at her, he couldn't see how much she was judging him. 

“How close to dropping are you?” 

“How close of friends are we?” Alastor countered, because he couldn't answer that directly but both of them knew he was far too gone to actively lie to her. 

“I'd say we're rather close friends.” Rosie was eyeing him critically. “Finish your tea, and I'll pour you a new cup.” 

He looked down, surprised to see it was already almost empty. He didn't remember drinking that much of it. Regardless, he followed the first part of her instructions before he thought better. 

When she reached to pour him a new cup, he stopped her. 

“Alastor.” 

He hated how she said his name. With pity, like he was a child who couldn't understand that bedtime meant the lights went out. 

“…” 

How did he explain this to her? That if he let her do this one little thing for him, he'd be falling over the edge of his headspace when he was already grasping for straws. 

“You've been missing seven years. For all I know, you haven't dropped in seven years, haven't had a Caregiver or even a friend, in those years. Do you expect me to give you suppressants when I don't know how long it's been since you dropped? I'm not letting you poison or stress your body into a second death.”

He blinked, and then laughed a bit. 

“No, no! It hasn't been seven years, gracious no! It's… it's been four months. I am going to drop soon, that much is inevitable but I cannot be at the Hotel when that happens.” There was no one he trusted there, and no one he trusted anywhere else. The Radio Demon had far too many enemies who would just as soon use his headspace to kill him as they would mock him. 

“You know my rooms are always private.” Rosie offered, and he hummed noncommittally. 

“We'll see what happens.” He said. “I just need to get past the extermination.” 

“I'll give you one bottle.” Rosie said. “Come back in three weeks, and we'll see how you're doing.” 

He nodded sharply, reaching out to take the bottle. She pulled it back a little, and he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“But Alastor, you know as well as I do, I won't give you a refill until I know you're dropping regularly.” 

He scowled, if one can scowl and smile at the same time. Rosie was one of the best illegal drug suppliers in Hell; she prioritized her clients well-being above all. 

“As you wish.” His tone was as hard as the little tablets crashing around the bottle; he hoped it wasn't nearly as rattled. He didn't know how the hell he was going to manage a single drop in the next few weeks, much less trying to go down regularly. 

But right now, at least, he could afford a moment to relax. He could make it work, if he could get just a bit more soothing before he went home. He could hold out on a drop, no matter how tenuous his threads to the present felt at the moment. 

“Please, stay and eat.” Rosie was saying, and he found himself nodding. A meal with Rosie sounded like a good idea. She'd bring in the plates and make sure he hadn't forgotten his napkin before they ate, and she'd probably see to their drinks just to spite him for the tea. 

“Rosie?” His voice felt strange, and his eyelids were slow and heavy when he blinked. That wasn't good. She hadn't drugged him, had she? She was his friend, surely not. They were friends, right? 

“Yes, we're friends.” Rosie seemed concerned at the question. “Are you okay, Alastor?” 

He bit his tongue, uncaring that the sharp pins of his teeth weren't as sharp as normal, that he couldn't taste his own bitter blood. The pain was still there, more than enough pressure to make sure his tongue didn't slip away from him again. He hadn't realized he'd asked that question out loud, and now the answer to hers eluded him so thoroughly he concluded it must be a no. 

“You know you're safe.” She said, and he nodded again. 

Everything felt soft around the edges. His drop was happening faster than he'd expected. He hadn't taken the suppressants yet, but they wouldn't work now. Everything was out of his control now; weightless in his own body, a falling numbness in his limbs. He didn't want to drop, he couldn't. He'd be a laughing stock and a fool. He'd be dead within a week if word ever got out. They were gonna kill him. Dropping was a risk, a threat; he wasn't safe.

“Rosie.” He repeated her name with a great deal more urgency. 

“I'm right here, Alastor.” 

Except he was safe, wasn't he? Because she had just told him so. Friends didn't lie to each other. 

“This is gonna be a bad one.” His words were slurred, and he hated the sound of them. But he had to communicate, before that slipped away like the ability to move more than a few inches. “May not remember it.” 

“I know, sweetie. I'll take care of you. Food, toys, and a light show, that's all. I'll lay you down for a nap after all that, and we'll talk more about this when you're big again. How's that sound?” 

He nodded, just a touch too eagerly. 

“Please,” he said, and his tongue gave up entirely after that. 

He frowned, trying to form the words he wanted to say.

He knew them, he knew that he knew the words. How to spell them, how to read them, how to say them. Why weren't his words working? 

Al could feel cotton in his brain, making keeping a train of thought difficult. Why did he need to talk again? He didn't want to talk to anyone. No, no he wanted… he couldn't remember. It hadn't been important if he couldn't remember it. 

---

Rosie was sitting across from him, watching as the demon in front of her went from sharp angles to soft curves. His antlers had receded, leaving little knobs of velvet sticking up out of his hair, and his ears flicked about constantly with each little sound, but he probably didn't notice those things. 

“Alastor, honey, are you hungry?” She asked, and he stared at her with round, wide eyes. 

He was smiling, but it was a very small smile. Scooting the platter pinkies she'd brought with tea closer, she nodded at him in encouragement. He slipped off of the chair, pulling the plate closer as he made himself comfortable sitting on the floor. 

Little Al usually enjoyed pinkies as much as his Big self did, and she hoped that hadn't changed. 

It hadn't. 

His teeth weren't as sharp as they could be but he had no trouble making quick work of them. These were prime choices, of course; they wouldn't serve anything less to an Overlord. She'd have eaten whoever thought it was a good idea to send chewy or tough meat to a meeting between her and Alastor, and was glad that such measures hadn't proven necessary. 

He was picky, though, which was something she'd forgotten. 

Currently he was sorting through the tray of provided pinkies, arranging them by size. 

Each mouthful was chewed diligently, and swallowed carefully. After each bite, he’d take out the bone, all the meat cleaned off, and methodically set it aside. 

Alastor started humming, something she'd heard on his radio more than a few times. A favorite song,one he'd enjoyed for a long time. 

He was arranging the bones on his tea saucer, the tea cup moved onto the doily. She moved it onto the tea tray before it got knocked over, obviously already forgotten. 

“Do you want to draw?” She asked when he finished eating and was just playing with the bones. He was making a castle, remnants of sinew the flags flying from the parapets. 

Rosie had to try not to laugh as she watched him sit forward so fast he had to use both his hands to catch himself against the table before he smacked into it. He was nodding, strands of bright red hair falling down into his eyes. He didn't bother brushing them back, just staring at her more, an unnerving gaze as eerie as any cannibal’s in Hell. 

She wasn't sure why the Divine had made him a deer when he was still obviously a cannibal. Why not just make him an eyeless undead like the rest of them? Maybe the All Knowing had known that the demon would tie himself up in the Hotel, and it was to spare the sensibilities of those seeking redemption. But his wide, dark eyes would be considered doe-like on anyone else, and they were as captivating and endearing as the phrase would imply. 

“You can draw, just don't make a mess too big to clean up.” 

He needed no reminding of where she kept her drawing supplies. Within moments he was at her desk, pushing her chair out of his way. 

Rosie smiled, clearing off the tea table so he could color on the table. She'd have the pinkie bones he'd spit out earlier washed and cleaned; they'd look nice strung together as a little bracelet. Maybe she could get his name carved on it? Something nice, to celebrate his first drop since coming home.

Al remained unaware of her wandering train of thought, pulling out stacks of paper and crayons and colored pencils from the drawer in her desk that he knew kept all of it. It was his favorite of her desk drawers, aside from the one that had candy. That one was his absolute favorite. 

He carried the supplies back over to her, ignoring both desk and tea table. Dropping everything on the carpet, it was clear he'd rather be on the floor again. 

Sheets of construction paper were spread out in front of him, blank canvases for when he wanted to draw something new. Everything was ready, he just needed… colors! He needed to pick colors. 

He hummed, picking through the crayons. 

Red and black were his favorite colors as an adult, but it never failed that the moment he was in Littlespace he reached for the cyan and gray crayons first and the red ones second. 

She knew why, of course. No one was friends with Alastor for as long as she was without becoming privy to things the demon hadn't yet divulged. 

He hummed, drawing pictures of televisions and radios arguing, and the radio always won, of course. 

Every picture was presented to Rosie for approval, and she made sure to complement each one. 

His favorite seemed to be one where the radio danced on the television set and had blasted the antenna of the TV clear off with his radio waves. He'd taken care with the detail, one red and one black dot taking up the television screen and two bright blue dots for the irises. 

“Is the TV your friend?” She asked, and he shook his head no so fast strands of hair whipped around. 

“He's your enemy?” 

More hesitant, but still a no. 

“He's your rival. That's different than enemy?” 

Alastor nodded happily. He kept drawing, before he showed her the picture again and she took it with a smile. He'd added Rosie to the picture, smacking the television with a long stick that ended in a crudely drawn skull; her cannibal Overlord scepter. With his coordination at the moment, the entire drawing was imperfect and uneven. 

“Such artistry! This one is going on the fridge!” 

Beaming with a bright smile, Al laughed. He pulled another sheet out of the stack and grabbed another set of crayons. 

While the boy entertained himself with drawings, Rosie put on an old record, one of her favorites. Shortly after the soft music started playing, his feet were kicking in the air. 

It was a sight she never got tired of: little Al, laying on her floor, drawing and kicking his feet. It was his favorite thing to do when he was little, but she'd never asked him why. It didn't matter why he liked to draw and refused a table to do so, it mattered that it made him happy to do it. 

He'd confessed more than enough that he hadn't had someone to ease his drops for a long time, and she missed being able to give him that. 

Taking care of her cannibals was plenty to keep her own Caregiving impulses in check. She had plenty to take care of when it came to her town, and she'd guided more than a few lost Littles back up out of their headspaces. Poor things usually came looking for her, regressed and contracted to her, and she always took them back to their Caretakers. 

If they didn't have one, as most of the new sinners didn't, they stayed with her until she could get them a house, and get them established in Hell and taking part in community drops and guides. No one in her town went uncared for. 

Taking care of Alastor was always a little different though. 

There was some small, selfish, impulsive desire to have him as her Little, to be the only one to take care of him, the only one who got to guide and guard him during his drops; she recognized it was the same selfish, hungry impulse to own that had driven her to devouring her second husband. 

It was only part of why she'd never offered, and why she never would. She respected him too much to pretend that being his Caregiver wouldn't change his public image, which she knew he was already worried about if he was looking for suppressants. No, while she enjoyed caring for him through his drops on occasions he needed it, their interests and paths diverged far too much. 

She'd never let Alastor know she thought this either. To do so would only damage their friendship, and she'd never do anything to betray that trust in any way. 

Besides that, she'd rather not make an enemy of a fellow Overlord. 

Little Alastor snaps a crayon and starts crying, and she knows that her night is far from over.