#i couldnt talk until i was four and only to my mom!!!

[sundere1181]

Sometimes i feel like there’s important facts of me an my childhood that i jist forget so here are some things that have happened to me that you might consider odd because i love talking abt myself

-when i was four i got run over by a horse drawn carriage transporting horse shit to dump with my amish grandma. I escaped with only a huge ass leg bruise bc she laid on top of me (thanks grandma u a real one 🙏)

-every single year when i was younger it was a tradition to go to the NFR every year and it was also a tradition for me to get sick and miss it every year. One of those times (also when i was four i think) i got croup, woke up in the hotel room unable to breathe, and nearly died. Also my parents waited for this to happen twice before driving me to the hospital. I now have an extreme fear of suffocating

-my dad hung me on a peg by my overalls once because i was being a brat

-this was much more recent but once i had just run in the rodeo and was getting off and my horse spooked for no reason and ping ponged off a bunch of trailers and trucks with my hanging precariously off the side of him. I also escaped that with only a large bruise (this time on my ribs)

-i have fallen off many, many horses. One memorable time was when i fell off one and slid down a fence, hitting my head on every rung, and my parents friend offered me chocolate to make me stop crying (it worked)

-ive been on diners drive ins and dives when i was seven. I said “its so good i just want to keep eating it”.

-my kindergarten teacher tried to convince my mom to put me in counseling bc i was smarter than her and kept correcting her spelling and grammar

-i grew up on an isolated ranch in Wyoming until i was thirteen (my parents were the ranch foremen and very busy and i didnt see them alot) (i used to think i had gone insane)

-we used to be ‘snowbirds’ which means VERY YEAR we would pack up our shit in our truck and car and horse trailer and move to a different state. We lived in wyoming and arizona. In wyoming we had the ranch and our house, but in arizona we stayed in a different house every single year. When we moved to az permanently when i was thirteen we moved around a lot STILL because we couldnt figure out where the fuck we wanted to live. Long story short, im really good at packing my shit and leaving. Also, on one instance of driving across the country, i stayed in the horse trailer the whole time with nothing but a few books, an ipad that died an hour in, and a chocolate milkshake. It was awesome

-the ONE year our ranch had calves, one of them got sick with deadly diarrhea i think. We named her Loretta and i slept the night with her in the scale house once. We buried her right next to where we dumped the horse shit and i found a drowned squirrel in our horses water tub to bury with her. My parents think it was a rat but i knew it was a squirrel

-one time we went to the top of the mountain that we lived right next and was owned by the ranch (we kept the heifers on it) to spread my grandpas ashes and when we got to the bottom i looked up and there was a very sooty looking tornado at the top of the mountain.

-there was this dinner and show thing we used to go to in wyoming called the bar j and we were friends with one of the guys in the band so we sat at the same table everytime. There was a space outside where kids would play and past the “restricted area” was a little stone memorial for a dead couple that i always went to whenever it got too loud.

[haloburns]

had some free time to think today and i just. got really sad about the life i used to think i was going to have before i became disabled

(whoops this turned into a Journal Entry, so im putting it beneath a read more sry lmao)

like. i had plans to travel europe and work in cafes and stay out too late in clubs with my new friends and then stumble in to open the cafe with my clothes from the night before and smeared makeup. and like, maybe thats a weird dream to have, but id spent so long in this tiny little box in my hometown (kinda. its complicated bc ive lived where i am now longer than the place i was born, but my birthplace will always be my hometown, to me.) so i was reaching for experiences so drastically different from the life id known.

but then i went to college out of state. 10h from home, almost in canada. and i did spend a good chunk of my first two years partying exactly like i described: work until 8/9, go home eat something fatty and greasy, change into smth slutty and cool, and go out with my friends and stay out until the wee hours, making out and dancing with whoever asked. two one night stands came of it, both embarrassing for different reasons (thats a whole different post lmao but i dont regret either, actually) but i had so much fun. i felt free. like i could truly be myself for the first time in my life

and then i became disabled.

(caveat: ive probably been disabled my whole life, but i simply. never noticed. i didnt know it wasnt normal to be in pain, because i didnt know what 'pain-free' meant. it wasnt until i started making diasbled and crippled friends that they made me realize that living at a 4/5 on the pain scale All The Time is in fact not normal)

i got a terrible cold my first thanksgiving. spent the entire break on the couch in the lounge sniffling and coughing, trash can, tissues, hand sanitizer, and lotion all right next to me because i was DETERMINED not to get anyone sick (context: this was pre covid. wearing masks was like. not a thought.) despite everyone having gone home/away for the break. i got my first (and only) case of viral pink eye. i had bronchitis until april. that same january, while i still had bronchitis, my knees suddenly swelled up so badly i couldnt move for two days. my knees have ached almost daily since then.

from there, it was simply a cascade failure of things. fingers and wrist hurt constantly, no matter what i did or what brace i wore. (hint: i ended up having de quervaines tenosynovitis and had to have surgery bc it went untreated for 5+ years) back was constantly cramping. feet hurt after only a four hour shift. stairs became impossible. i was constantly exhausted, no matter what i did.

then, in december 2020, i was home like everyone else, and i was working in my mom's office full time while also attending classes full time remotely (like everyone else). my mom took a week off. finals week. she left me in charge, since i was the second most senior person in the office with my roughly two years experience. my half sister was demanding to know why our other sister wouldnt talk to her after she borrowed our car to go see our estranged father. again. (we gave her permission to borrow the car, but it still hurt). the exhaustion was getting worse and worse until thursday of that week. my coworker was threatening to call my mom to come pick me up because i couldnt think, could barely talk, and i was nodding off at my desk. and then my half sister called out of nowhere and wanted to talk. and i was so tired, so done with EVERYTHING, i let her have it. that took the last bit of my energy and i told my coworker to call my mom.

i spent a week in bed with the worst pain in my life. my entire body ACHED. my cat couldnt lay on me because it felt like i was being crushed to death my a bed of needles. my elbow swelled up so badly i could hardly move it. i could barely sit up to eat or stand to go pee. i slept SO MUCH.

i returned to work maybe a week or two after. i maybe finished my classes but i hoenstly dont remember. i moved back up to school in jan/feb with covid restrictions so i could finish my senior year on campus. i couldnt walk to the mail room and back without needing a nap. i couldnt go to starbucks and bring back two coffees without needing a break in the middle of my walk. i went to the health services because something wasnt right.

after some tests and lots of arguing with some shitty doctors and PTs, the light of my life, dr k diagnosed me with chronic fatigue. i finally had an answer for all my issues.

i thought that was it.

that summer, june/july 2021, i developed postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and fought to get it taken seriously. two er trips with elevated heart rate, brain fog, and high bp, and it took the second trip to have them take me SERIOUSLY and get a referral. the cardiologist told me i was fat and just needed to exercise more, the three heart monitors don't show stereotypical tachycardic events, so im just experiencing elevated heart rates. i was fine. finally convince him to put me on propranolol, the "as needed" dose, and fuck off when he says he wants to work me off them and get me exercising.

i found a doctor who took me seriously and listened when i said "i have x problem. i would like a solution." and gave me referral after referral after referral, chasing more and more diagnoses. she never once made me feel insane for my symptoms, never made me feel unheard, and she never failed to make me cry in relief every time i went to see her and didnt have to fight for just an ounce of care.

since then, ive been diagnosed with moderate asthma, psoriasis, fibromyalgia, and potentially (almost assuredly) hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome. (for those of you keeping track, thats six diagnoses in four years) dr m, my savior, retired this year, and ive found a new doctor im hoping i can teach to treat me with the same care and respect. shes already given me a second referral to gastroenterology for my stomach issues (which... might just be from too much ibuprofen... :) rip me) and neurology bc my migraines that have crippled me for upwards of a month before are no longer being managed by my meds and i need something more specific before i start new meds. she said shed find me a doctor to dx heds, bc shes still new and wasnt comfortable with the tests required and didnt want to do it wrong, which endears her to me just a little more

but all of ^^^ that is just a big winding way to say that my life has changed a LOT since i graduated high school. i can no longer stand for long periods of time. i cant lift more than maybe 5-10lbs, and i certainly cant carry it for any significant length of time. i get migraines so easily. my joints slip out of place if i step wrong. i cant go out one night and expect to be up and at'em early the next day. i have to weigh my energy vs what i want to get done vs what needs to get done, and most days, nothing gets done at all.

and sometimes, usually when i get a new diagnosis and a new complication to my life, i mourn the life i used to dream about for myself. i mourn the things ive had to lose out on because my reality has changed so drastically. i cant go to amusement parks anymore. i cant go to standing-room-only concerts. i cant go to the grocery by myself. and you can forget doing things like wandering through the mall to kill time or going for a leisurely walk around the park.

being disabled is not the worst thing to happen to me, and i dont think im damaged or broken or anything like that. despite all the pain and complications and accomodations i have and need, i love myself the way i am. after all, i am now the funniest fucking person in ANY room. i dont think i want it back, because i love the life i have now (meaningful volunteer work, a dnd group i love, and a partner i thank the stars for regularly). but sometimes, its hard not to mourn the life i thought id have

[alonelymidwestdreamer]

fuckin peachy

———

i really thought i could do it

i dont know why

well, no

fuck that

i do know why

i thought i could get my shit together, finally, because people are supporting me

because im not keeping myself in a shitty relationship

because im forcing myself to sit with just myself and learn to be ok with that

because im trying to be a good person

because i was making fucking progress

i was taking steps

someone, maybe everyone, is gonna say that progress isnt linear

but have you ever been forced off road after just getting off a detour, just getting used to a nice straight highway

it doesnt still feel like progress

in fact, it feels like why not take another drink, why not feel good instead of crying over a cancellation

it feels like why not pick that pocket knife back up, why not take a hammer to your knuckles till theyre all purple

why not see if that one girl you ruined ur life for over and over finally has u unblocked

it doesnt feel like progress

it feels like derailment

im losing my fucking mind

ive been watching this show

its sadder than hell but i can’t stop watching it

it reminds me of that girl who i, yk, ruined my life over

she was a pisces

it reminds me of her because it reminds me of all the trauma she sat through with me

it reminds me of being homeless and of my parents fights and my fights with my parents and just

everything

it reminds me of things i buried pretty damn deep

this show triggers the fuck out of me

i cant sit with myself reliving this shit, but she sat through all that with me as it happened

she was the only constant in my life for so many years

but me wanting to get better was the breaking point

that was the line

we used to scream at each other

shed trigger me on purpose when i made her mad

how fucked up is that

but when i wanted to fix myself, when i wanted to create a life that could hold her and i both in it without all the fucking anger

that was that

she still has me blocked

i havent told almost anyone, although now youll all know, but i made a new account, just to try to talk to her

when someones in ur life for so long and so deeply it just feels wrong when they leave

or maybe thats just me

i hadnt talked to her in like two years?

i just wanted to know what her life looks like now

she did not believe that

and shes still mad at me

ig i never realized she ruined her life over me too

when i asked how she was she said “what are you drunk or something?”

i really thought i could do it, i thought i could be ok

i just wanna get drunk

all the time

i wish i was drunk when i messaged her

i wish she was right

i wished a little too hard ig cuz i did start drinking again

i keep pretending its not all i think about

its not that serious, cant be

if it was that serious someone would notice right?

being drunk doesnt even feel great anymore

but if im gonna fuck up by just existing, at least i get an excuse if im shitfaced

i tried so hard

i mean im still trying

but every day i get closer to doing it again and again and again

isnt that embarrassing?

i dont like it, i dont want to

i just also dont like me very much

and who would even care

no one noticed the first time until i told them, i think honestly everyone preferred me buzzed all the time until they knew thats what it was

no one knew i was overdosing in bledsoes room either tho

sitting behind keleah in college algebra trig

the room spinning so violently i thought i was dying

i guess i was dying technically

after, i sat in the rose garden with someone and tried to breathe

i walked my siblings home

i thought i was gonna die

no one even knew

i went home and threw up four or five times

i threw up so much i thought i was gonna suffocate cuz i couldnt catch a breath

my mom didnt even ask why i threw up

so at least its just drinking again

and its not as frequent anyways

fuck i really was doing so good

i swear i was

[shatteredfears-arch]

me, singing from the rooftops. DONNA. B/ENEVIENTO. BEING. NONVERBAL. AND PROBABLY AUTISTIC. DOES NOT. MAKE HER. ‘TOO CHILDISH’. AND THE ABLEIST WAY SHES DESCRIBED IN MIRANDAS NOTES CAN SUCK IT

[morwap]

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇. 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇, 𝐁𝐎𝐘

➸ vampire!eddie munson x fem!reader

➸ STRANGER THINGS S4 V1&2 SPOILERS

➸ smut, angst | A/N: i don’t know much about dnd or kas, but this is based off kas theory BUT do not come at me for not getting the kas shit right or whatever bc this is my own version and y’all are gonna get what you get and DONT throw a fit😋🫶 also vecna earthquake has happened but the upside down is slowly leaking into hawkins its not rapid like the end of season 4 anyways hot horny vamp!eddie

➸ nav • e.m m.list

dom!eddie, sub!reader, p in v, “character death”, depression, blood/blood sucking, biting (eddie cant turn you bc i said so), oral f! & m!receiving , praise, pain kink,, “cunt”, pet names, choking, creampie

♡ ───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧─────── ♡

four months, four fucking months of sleeping with eddies extra hellfire shirt and wearing his pick necklace constantly.

hawkins school had simply passed everyone, you graduated officially without eddie and without a celebration since everyone was helping gather things and rebuild things from the earthquake. just the piece of paper that meant fucking nothing to you while you knew this was what eddie was working so hard for, all this year, wanting to graduate with you, by your side.

you couldnt even look in wayne’s direction at first, knowing he loved eddie just as much then you figured it was better to comfort him and honestly you were surprised when you went to talk to him and all he did was hug you, squeezing the breath out of you and sobbing into your shoulder. you heard him mumbled that he had some things he wanted you to have.

at this point your tears had ran out, feeling like you couldn’t cry anymore and it was just numb. not bothering to get out of bed or even answer the phone when steve, nancy or dustin tried to call, the only thing you could do was close your eyes and replay that terrible day.

the way eddie kissed your forehead before ushering you up the makeshift rope before cutting it, the way you and dustin both screamed for him to not do this. tears streaming down your face as you watched him run out the trailer. your shoulder still gets some pain from you landed on the ground without the crash pad, chasing after him with dustin close behind. both of you screaming eddies name then seeing the swarm of demobats.

chest burning and shoulder in pain as you ran as fast as you could to him, seeing the demobats fall to the ground and not even knowing what happened for them to do that unless they had gotten to vecna but that couldnt even cross your mind at that point. literally no one crossed your mind other than eddie.

getting onto the ground immediately, scuffing up your knees as you did so. dustin was at your side almost immediately. crying and trying to get eddie’s head in your lap without hurting him.

the rest was a blur, you remembered him talking and you responding while it felt like your hearing had gone muffled.

you remembered having to leave him there, dustin tell you that you both needed to go and that they did it but something else happened, something bad. dustin basically had to drag you to the trailer to leave and regroup with steve, nancy and robin.

steve tried to comfort you but nancy had stopped him, shaking her head ‘no’ and telling him to try later.

you forced yourself to help gather things for the things they were doing for people that need help from the earthquake. knowing if eddie was here he would want to help and would want you to help.

when steve saw you dropping things off he asked you to follow him to his car, needing to give you something.

almost breaking down in tears as he got out eddies vest from his trunk, giving it to you and hugging you.

since then you’ve barely left the house, either sleeping all day and night or staying up all hours and fighting sleep since sometimes you’d dream of him. sitting in the shower for hours until your mom was knocking at the door and asking “are you okay in there?” and still denying phone calls. you havent even seen max at the hospital yet, which made you upset and curse yourself for being a bad friends but it was dreadful to even think about leaving your house.

-

you moved around in your bed, flipping from one side to the other. you had been trying to sleep for hours now, finding yourself not tired at all once your head hit your pillow. it was well past 12 am and your mother had gone to your aunts house to help her do somethings which left you alone in the house.

something felt off, knowing no one was in the house but you still felt like you were being watched. you clicked on your lamp before sitting up in your bed, pulling the blanket off you and putting your feet on the cold hard wood.

shivering as you looked around your room, expecting something to be there but, it was empty. getting up and heading out if your room, going all the way down to your kitchen slowly.

you took a look around, the feeling of being watched never left you—if anything it felt like it was getting more intense. you grabbed a yogurt out of the fridge and a spoon and sat at your dinning table.

eating the yogurt quickly, wanting to be back up in your room as fast as you could and be surrounded by the comfort of your blanket and probably now cold sheets. you tossed the empty yogurt cup into the trash by the back door, taking a peek through the thin curtain that dangled in front of the small square window.

almost expecting something to be looking back at you or at least just something be there but, there was nothing, just pitch black and a lonely street light that flickered like crazy and barely casted any light. sniffling as you moved the curtain back to how it was before and tossing the spoon into the sink, cringing the loud clinking it made against the side of the sink and a glass cup.

you went back to the door and made sure the door was locked, thankfully it was and then going to the front door and checking it as well.

a little squeak came from upstairs, furrowing your brows, you had never thought of the windows or maybe it was just the house settling and if anything it would be dustin or steve and robin just checking up on you or something…right?

calming yourself down and starting to walk up the stairs, you didn’t hear any talking if it was steve and robin so you ruled out the noise being your friends because even dustin would talk to himself if it was him.

your nerves settled when you saw no one in your room, and you came to the conclusion that it was most likely the house settling. getting back into bed and pulling your blanket over you, it was colder than you remember.

you turned and took in a shaky breath, your window was open, fully open and the curtains you had were blowing in the wind. shooting up in your bed and scrambling to your window to shut it.

slamming it down and moving the lock, hearing another noise as you laid back down and pulled your blanket over your head. squeezing your eyes shut as you heard another noise, now it dawned on you that if something did come in you had shut and locked and exit point.

feeling the mattress dip next to you, hoping whatever it was would just go away. a hand pressed against your thigh.

“i didn’t mean to scare you princess”

your breathing stopped, it sounded like eddie. exactly like eddie.

the blanket was slowly being taken off you, you forced yourself to open your eyes and look at whatever was speaking to you.

it was eddie but something was off.

your lamp gave a decent amount of light, enough that you could see him. your eyes looking into his, his brown eyes now had a red tint to them and his skin was more pale.

“eddie?” you asked in a choked whisper.

eddie’s red stained lips curved into a smile, you looked at his teeth and furrowed your brows. were those fangs?

“the one and only” eddie quipped, he watched as your eyes became glossy.

you wrapped your arms around him quickly making him gasp a bit from the sudden movements. your face in his neck and hands fisting his leather jacket.

“m’sorry! m’so sorry, i didn’t wanna leave you there” you cried, gripping onto him tighter as his hand came to rub your back and he hushed you in soft voice.

eddie took in your scent, god you smelled good. it was overwhelming and made him go fuzzy.

“don’t worry about it sweetheart, all that matters is that i’m right here” eddie whispered, pulling you from him and taking his thumbs and wiping the tears from your cheeks and under eyes.

eddie brought his lips to yours, a soft kiss at first but quickly turning rough, your arms wrapped around his neck as his tongue slipped into your mouth. his body pushing your back down to your mattress and moving between your thighs.

“i missed you so much baby” eddie mumbled into the kiss, you whined against him as if saying you missed him too.

you gripped at his leather jacket, trying to push it off him and eddie helped take it off. tossing it onto your bedroom floor, you noticed his shirt wasn’t his hellfire shirt instead it was just a black tshirt.

your hands went to his hair, you could feel him grow hard against you. eddie lifted up, yanking off his tshirt and tossing it beside his jacket, your eyes locked on the faded scars on his sides. eddie leaned back down and kissing you softly before moving down to your chest.

kissing your skin and moving down lower and lower, lifting your shirt so he could kiss down your stomach. you left a bit embarrassed that you were horny just when your boyfriend comes and you should be doing something wholesome and probably crying more but eddie seemed like he wanted this just as much as you did.

you grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up and over your head, eddie was already at the elastic of your shorts.

“eddie i want you-” you whined, sitting up on your elbows and looking down at him.

“and you’ll get me, i’m gonna taste you first. its been too long” eddie said sternly, cutting off your whining. he looked up at you and you couldn’t help but wonder about the red eyes.

the red eyes, pale and fucking fangs…god you would sound fucking crazy if you said it out loud, actually maybe you wouldn’t just four months ago you were in a different dimension fighting a demobats and vecna and hearing all the stories about some girl eleven and robin, steve, dustin and erica’s starcourt shit so maybe a vampire wasn’t something too out of the ordinary.

your shorts were being slipped off of you, along with your panties. his lips on your inner thigh, leaving sloppy kisses along your thigh.

“this might hurt a little bit” eddie muttered against your thigh. you bit your lip and took a deep breath, this wasn’t the first time you two had done things with pain involved but you were a little nervous.

you felt his teeth against your skin, feeling fangs start to puncture your skin. your hands fisted your sheets and your eyes squeezed shut. a soft moan slipped from your lips.

eddie let go of your thigh, licking the blood that leaked form the puncture wounds and humming in delight.

“tastes so fuckin’ good” eddie groaned, moving to your other thigh and biting again. you let out a whimper and your hand moved to his hair.

it felt good in a odd way. you hummed as he licked up the mess he was making and a gasp came as his tongue went from your thigh to your cunt.

eddie licked a stripe up your cunt before pushing tongue through your folds, one of his hand moving up to your boob.

his tongue lapping at your clit, you fought the urge to close your legs around his head.

“just like that eds” you mewled, back arching as he sucked and licked your clit. eddies fingers played with your nipple.

it was embarrassing how close you were already, but not having him or even masturbating was too blame.

“m’gonna cum, m’gonna fucking cum eddie” you moaned loudly, your legs closing around his head. your cunt clenching around nothing and you rocked your hips on his face. hearing him hum as he continued what he was doing.

your mouth stayed agape as you came, gripping his hair and trying to get him closer. moans fell from you as your rode out your high.

“off, off, its your turn” you panted, looking down at him as a he wiped his mouth the back of his hand. you pushed yourself up as he got up and off your bed.

eddie started unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants and getting them off as fast as he can, your lips went to his neck, sucking on his skin hoping to leave as many marks as you could.

you kissed down his body till you got to his cock, taking his shaft in your hand as you licking up to his tip.

“oh fuck, it has been too long, no wonder you came so fast” eddie teased, you smacked his thigh with your free hand causing eddie to laugh.

wrapping your lips around his tip and moving your tongue on him, hollowing your cheeks and sucking on his tip before taking him all the way in your mouth.

hearing eddie groan, his head going back as his hand went to the back of your head.

moving your mouth up and down on his cock, taking him to the back of your throat and fighting the urge to gag.

fuck you missed his cock in your mouth, your cunt was getting wetter and wetter by the second and you were waiting for him to start fucking your throat.

it was almost like he started reading your mind because, his hand held your head still and he started to thrust into your mouth. the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat over and over.

you looked up at him and he moaned loudly, cussing under his breath. you breathed through your nose and let him fuck your mouth.

“doin’ so fucking good f’me baby, so proud of you” eddie praised, spit dripped down your chin as you hummed around his cock.

“just breath baby, almost there then im gonna fill your fucking cunt” eddie said in a breathy moan, feeling eddies cock throb in your mouth. you moved your hand to his balls, massaging them and letting your eyes close.

after a few minutes eddie stilled, his cock down your throat as you breathed and waited for his cum to shoot down.

cumming into your mouth as his thighs tensed, you swallowed around him and opened your eyes to look up at him.

eddie’s hair was messy, bangs sticking to his forehead. he pulled his cock out of your mouth, his thumb wiping spit from your chin.

“perfect fucking cock sucker” eddie whispered, grabbing your jaw and bringing his mouth to yours.

your thighs we’re sore and you whimpered into the kiss, eddie guided you to lay down and he hovered over you. you wrapped your legs around his waist and winced at the contact on the wounds.

eddie’s hard on pressed against your stomach, “please eddie” you begged in the kiss.

eddie broke the kiss and leaned back, “only because you asked so nicely” he teased. eddie slid himself between your folds, making sure to graze your clit over and over before bringing his tip to your entrance.

you moaned as he pushed into you, stretching you out just like you remembered. eddie was moaning too, relishing in how you clenched around him.

“fuck, you’re so tight” eddie mewled, finally all the way inside you and watching you squirm underneath him.

eddie’s head rested in the crook of your neck as he started to thrust in and out of you, making sure to brush against your clit with his pubic bone. your nails dug into his back, clawing it up without any thought.

you felt eddie’s fangs brush against your neck, feeling his tongue lick where he was about to bite as you prepared yourself for the pain that was about to come.

a squeak came from you, your nails digging deeper into his skin and cunt squeezing him cock as he bit into your neck, hearing him moan as his fangs were in your neck. eddie’s pace never slowed, it was actually gradually getting faster.

“you feel so good” you whimpered, eddie let go of your neck, licking up the blood that poured out.

eddie’s hand grabbed your throat, squeezing a bit as you moaned loudly. eddie was panting loudly.

“i love you” you choked out, one hand leaving his back to grip his wrist. your cunt clenched around him, spasming as you got closer and closer to your climax.

“i love you so much” eddie groaned, feeling that you were close.

“cum- i know you’re close, fucking cum for me” eddie ordered, his hips hitting harshly against you. your eyes squeezed shut as you focused on cumming.

your legs tightened around his waist and your mouth made an o shape, your brows furrowing together as you came around his cock, ragged breaths and moans coming from you as he continued to pound your cunt.

eddie’s hand still around your throat tightening as your orgasm triggered his, your cunt squeezing him so tight it made it hard to keep thrusting.

his cum painting your walls, after a few thrusts, his hand easing around your neck as you took in deep breaths.

both of you panting and resting against each other. you rubbed his back trying to ease the scratches, if he could even feel them.

eddie pulled out of you and got up, he grabbed his shirt and came back to clean you up. you smiled at him.

after you both were cleaned up enough eddie threw his shirt back to the ground and crawled in bed with you.

eddie laid on his back and pulled you to him, snuggling into his side and holding him tight. you weren’t gonna let him go anywhere.

“i missed you so much” you mumbled into his side, closing your eyes and tangling your legs with his. eddie’s finger was drawing shapes on your skin, he smiled and mumbled “i know, i missed you too..”

[soft-boi-eli]

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

[happys-crazy-queen22]

A True Love The Final Chapter

Gif credit @yourwonkywriter

Taglist. @nocturnalherb16 @leaalfred. @creepers-baby-girl. @jesseswartzwelder. @writerwithasoul. @glimmerglittergirl. @ilovetaquitosmmmm. @twistnet. @baylishh. @tomhardydallasstarsgirl. @spnaquakindgdom. @mayans-mc. @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo. @withmyteeth. @miss-nori85. @mrsmarvelous1995. @believinghurts

While Nestor talked with his men. Miguel smoked his cigar with a smile on his face. He knew the Mayans had something to do with your disappearance. But he didnt know if they took you or if you ran off with one of them. That stumped him. But he would soon find out.

"Kill them all if you have too. They're no use to me". Miguel told Nestor.

"What about the deal we had with them? Alvarez isn't going to like that".

"You let me deal with Alvarez when the time comes. Just take them out and bring me her". Miguel eyed Nestor. Nestor nodded and went to do his job. He's never seen Miguel like this before willing to kill entire club for a girl when he could have anyone. He didnt understand.

So the plan was set, Ez would take Gilly and Riz with him to Pops to look after you and your family. Angel and the others would take the bodies and the girl they paid off to Nestor at the designated place and time. It all seemed to perfect. Everyone had a gut feeling this wasnt going to work but they all knew the risks.

"You protect her. If anything happens call me. Ill be right here". Angel hugged Ez before leaving.

"Dont worry about us. You be safe".

"So I'll see you when we get back"? Angel grabbed you by your belt loop, bring you close to him.

"Not if I see you first". You both chuckled. You played with his chain on his wallet.

"I'll be alright. Dont worry". He moved your chin up with his hand.

"I'm going to worry. I just need you back home safely. I want more sneaking around". You giggled.

"Oh we'll have to sneak around, here at pops. He has ears like a dog. Plus your moms here and your grandfather. He scares me by the way". Angel chuckled wrapping his arms around you.

"Just come back to me".

"I will. I love you".

"I love you too". Angel leaned down and kissed your lips. Maybe for the last time. He kissed you long and hard. Not wanting it to end.

"I have to go". Angel released your lips and your waist, he grabbed his helmet from Ez.

You blew Angel a kiss before getting into the truck. This might be the last time you see him. It scared you. It was like going into battle and never knowing if you're coming home.

Angel and his guys road off down the street. And you in the opposite direction. You couldnt let this be what it came too. Going into the unknown. You had a plan of your own.

Getting to Pops, he met you outside and greeted you. Your grandfather took a liking to him. He was a simple man and he liked that.

"You can have my room and I'll take the couch". He offered.

"That's kind of you but I cant throw you out on the couch. I'll sleep on the couch or I can just bunk with my little sister". You said with a laugh. She hated sharing a bed when you were kids. She'd hate it worse now.

"If you're okay with that. That's fine with me". He chuckled and went inside the house.

"Hey Ez, where's the bathroom"? You asked.

"Go past the kitchen and it's your first door on the left". He said bringing in the suitcases.

"Thanks". You walked past him and headed in that direction but you made a little detour to the back door and started running. You just hoped Angel hasnt got to Nestor yet.

Angel and the others flew down the highway. The truck behind them carried three bodies. Two male and one female. With a girl passenger in front. His mind raced. He wanted this to work. He needed it to work. He was kinda second guessing his choice. Maybe he should have chose to leave. But it was to late for that. They turned off to the place they were to meet Nestor.

There stood Nestor and five of his guys. Their guns in hand.

"What took you so long"? Nestor asked before they could get off their helmets.

"Had to chase this one down. She wasnt cooperating with us". Bishop started off.

"Was Y/N there"?

"There wasnt any sign of her. Her family said they hadn't seen her in years". Angel spoke up, taking off his gloves.

"They could be lying. Has she said anything"? Nestor pointed to the girl.

"No. We dont think she can talk".

"We dont pay you for your thinking. Get her out of the truck and put her in the van. Now". Nestor ordered.

"Where do you want the others"?

"Bury them here. As long as they're dead she has no place to to go". Nestor got back into his car and waited for them to finish up.

Angel, Coco and Creeper got the bodies out while Bishop watched Nestor making sure he didn't pull something over their heads.

Nestor watched them as they unloaded. He got on the phone to call his boss but Miguel didn't pick up. He figured he was having another one of his fits. Nestor wasnt okay with taking and killing the girl as she sat beside him. He figured he would let the mayans do the dirty work and kill her as well.

"Loza". Nestor barked at the presidente. Bishop went over to the car.

"Take care of her too. We dont need her after all". Nestor opened the door for the girl and she got out.

"What do you want me to do to her"?

"Kill her. She's a witness". Nestor said coldly.

"Fine. After all that hard work and tracking her down. You just want me to kill her"? Bishop had to make it convincing.

"Yes. Bury her with the others". Nestor rolled up his window and his driver took off down the road.

That's exactly what the mayans wanted.

"Here's four thousand. Creeper will drive you where you want to go. Dont come back here dont speak of this to anyone. Okay"? Bishop handed the girl a wad of cash and sent her off to Creeper.

"You think he'll buy it"? Angel came up behind Bishop.

"Yeah. We have this in the bag. Get these bodies buried and let's head out". Bishop ordered and the others started digging.

While Angel's problems seemed to go away, you had yours. Getting back to Miguel's was hard without a car. You had to sneak everywhere. Looking behind your back and watching over your shoulder. His guys were everywhere.

But then you saw the house. You knew a secret way to get in without being seen. It was your only way in and out without Miguel finding out. Going through the woods and finding the back door you sneaked in.

No one was around, which was suspicious. No noise or anything. That's when you knew Miguel knew you were coming.

"Welcome back, Mi Amor". His voice scared you as he came up behind you.

"You look well". You sarcastically said at his appearance. The bags under his eyes. The day old clothes.

"I've been worried about you. Where have you been"? He steps forward, you step back.

"Around". You kept your answers short.

"Well, I've looked everywhere for you. No one has seen you or heard from you. So you went willingly. Because there was no ransom or demands. Just your wedding ring". Miguel tossed your wedding ring at you.

"I needed to get away. I couldn't do this any more".

"Do what? Be loved and cared for. Get everything your heart desired".

"Be afraid of living my life. I couldn't with you. You controlled everything I did. Who I saw. What I wore. Everything. No one should live like that".

"So why did you come back? Maybe to save someone"? Miguel chuckled. You knew he figured that it was a mayan but not which one.

"I came back to end this. To tell you I want out".

"It's not that easy, sweet girl. You and I are joined until death". Miguel stepped forward and grabbed your arm. Squeezing you tight. Angel was going to he pissed once he seen the bruises.

"Let go". You gritted your teeth as you clawed his hand. He pulled his hand back and slapped you across the face. That was the first time he hit you and it was going to be the last.

Miguel jerked you to him by your wrist. "I gave you everything. A nice home. A man that loves you. Nice things. Anything you wanted you got". He yelled in your face.

"Not everything. I needed freedom and I needed someone to love. I never loved you. I have hated you since I met you. That was our wedding. I dreaded to be alone with you".

"You ungrateful bitch". Miguel went to raise his hand again but you saw the gun in his waistband and grabbed for it. He saw it too and went to get it. Both of you struggled for the trigger. It simply went off. Both of you were shocked but only one was shot. The gun fell to the ground and so did Miguel. A gun shot wound to his lower abdomen. Shock on your face.

You stood over him, watching the life drain from his eyes. You knew you should call the police but why they were on his payroll. So you went to the security room and deleted all the tapes for that day. Wiped away any evidence that you were there. Looking at the house one last time, you left all your belongings. All the pictures you had of your family. Everything you had was in there. But that didnt matter. You had Angel and your family back. That's what was precious. So you headed back to Pops. Angel was probably there already. Killing Ez.

"You had one fucking job to do and you screwed it up". Angel yelled at Gilly, Ez and Riz.

They looked all over for you before Angel got back. You were a ghost in the wind. Once again.

"I'm sorry. She couldn't have gone far. She has no car". Gilly piped up but regretted it when Angel gave a death glare at him.

Angel was so angry. He fought for you and now his little brother lost you. He was worried that one of Galindos guys picked you up or worse you're dead. But all his worries changes when he saw you coming up the driveway. Something about you changed. Your hair was free flowing and you had a smile on your face. Not a care in the world.

Angel ran to you, picking you up and twirling you around in the sun. You kissed him deeply with everything you had. He was finally yours and you were finally his.

You were no longer Mrs. Galindo. You were now who ever you wanted to be. No labels. Just free. Except for Angel he was the only one that had a hold on you and you weren't going to let him go.

Gif credit @angelreyesgirl.

THANK YOU ALL 😘🥰😍

[brelione]

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

 “So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky​ @jjjmaybank​ @gracelovesbroadway​  @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor​ @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8​ @stupidpendeja​ @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian   @simonsbluee  @deionswannabegirl​ @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld​​@annmariek8 @harryswigss​ @ibookofstars​  @lostaurorax​​ @cheshirecat107​​​

[yikesharringrove]

PT. 1 this isn't really a headcanon cause its heavily based on one of my favorite fics from you- but steve and his mom had a good relationship for a while, he takes after her a lot and they got along (or at least better than the one with his dad) Or at least he thought, one night hes going out for a date with billy and his mom is home for some reason, he goes to say a quick goodbye and asks if she needs anything before he leaves but she is super drunk and just responds with 'I never loved you'

PT.2 and I think after that he just broke for a good week, like he shut down cause for the longest time his mom was the only person he had, he couldnt get out of bed or even dare go downstairs and look her in the eye cause he just feels so betrayed and disappointed. Billy and Robin had to come over regularly to keep him company cause steve just needed reminders just they still love him and people still love him

-

This is either modern au or no homophobia/steve is out to his mom au

-

Steve’s father hated how close Steve was with his mother.

Ever since he was a little boy, he was always trailing behind her, one chubby hand fisted in her skirt.

He would toddle up to her, a big smile on his face as he made grabby hands and said uppie, uppie Mama! until she picked him up.

He would sit on the counter of her large vanity, watching as she did her hair and makeup. He held her hand walking down the street long after his father deemed him too old for such nonsense, Steven.

He loved his mother.

Loved her with his whole damn heart.

He tromped down the stairs, shoving one arm through his jacket as he went.

“Mama, I’m going to meet Billy.” He poked his head into the sitting room. She was perched on the couch, glass of wine in her hand. Steve glanced wearily at the two empty bottles on the coffee table.

He didn’t like how much she drank. Knew it was because she was unhappy. And he never wanted her unhappy.

“You need anything while I’m out?”

“No, Stefano. Thank you.” He smiled brightly at her.

“Okay, well, I’ll probably be home late. I love you.”

Her eyes were glassy when she looked at him, cold and dead.

“Do you?” Steve’s smile slid off his face. “I think I loved your father once. It’s been a long time.” She always got like this when she drank, all introspective. “And I certainly never loved you.”

It felt like all the wind had been punched out of his lungs.

“Wha-what?” She sneered at him.

“See? Very stupid. Always so stupid.” His vision was beginning to tunnel. He felt like he was gonna pass out. She just turned back to the television, staring at the infomercials.

“You, you think that I’m stupid? And that’s why you don’t love me?”

“One of many reasons, Stefano.” She sipped her wine, not looking at him.

Steve fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket. She sighed.

“Must you be so infuriating?”

It was like being kicked in the stomach.

He thought they were close.

But she had been pretending all this time. Pretending to listen to him, pretending to care about him.

Pretending to love him.

He raced back upstairs.

He tossed off his clothes, tears in his eyes, and dived under the covers.

He curled up into a tight ball, stifling his sobs into his pillow.

-

Billy parked next to Steve’s car in the driveway.

Fucker had stood him up.

He figured he like, forgot they were going out or something, or got caught up watching a movie with his mom while she was still in town.

He let himself into the house, found his mom in the kitchen, washing a wine class.

“Hello, Mrs. Harrington. Is Steve in?” She smiled brightly at him.

“I don’t know where he got off to. Maybe check his bedroom.” She swept past him, heading for the master bedroom on the main floor.

Billy raced up the stairs, barging into Steve’s room.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the words died when he realized what was going on.

The room was dark, the curtains closed tightly, all lights off.

Steve was huddled under his bed covers, not moving.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, when Steve buried himself in his bed and couldn’t get out.

Billy sat down next to him, pet over where he figured Steve’s hip would be.

“Sugar, it’s me.” The little lump under the blanket gave a hoarse hmm noise. “You missed our date.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve croaked out from under the blanket.

“It’s okay. I know how you get.” It was quiet as Billy took off his shoes, sitting on the bed further. “Can you talk to me?”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Baby, I just wanna help you.”

“Can’t.” Billy sighed.

He was mostly just fishing to figure out if he had done something to send Steve into a spiral like this.

“Can you please tell me what’s causing this?”

“My mother.” Billy furrowed his brows. Steve always referred to her as Mama, talked about her like she hung the damn stars.

“What happened.”

Billy felt Steve shift under his hand, give a big sigh.

“She told me doesn’t love me. That she never has.”

“Oh, holy shit.” Billy was fucking gobsmacked.

Steve and his mom had always been really close. Steve told her everything, said she was probably the most important person in his life.

And she had pulled the rug out from under him and went to bed like nothing had happened.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“Am I unlovable?” Steve’s voice was tiny. Billy’s mind was reeling.

“Of course you’re not unlovable. I love the fucking garbage outta you.”

“My own mother doesn’t.” Billy stood up, shoving himself under the bed covers with Steve.

He was curled in a tight ball, just in his socks and underwear. Billy wrapped himself around Steve as best as he could.

“I’m so sorry, Stevie. I’m so sorry.”

Billy had always kinda figured his mother didn’t love him. Figured if she left him with Neil there must be some disconnect there.

But Steve had felt loved by his mother. And apparently, it was all fake.

“I’m not faking anything. I really do love you, Stever.” Steve hummed. “I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a dick in my eye, or whatever it is.” He wanted Steve to huff a little laugh, maybe loosen up a bit, but nothing happened. “I mean it.”

He laid with Steve for a while, just tracing patterns on his skin.

-

“She told him she doesn’t love him. That like, she never has.” Robin’s jaw dropped open.

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah, right?”

“That’s fucked.” She shook her head.

Steve didn’t come to school today, and Billy had filled her in, wanted her to come over with him to Steve’s after school.

Steve was still in bed when they got there, didn’t move or make any sound when Robin pulled open his curtains.

“Hey, Dingus.” He hummed at her. “Billy told me everything.”

Billy sat down on Steve’s other side, patting his back.

“Did you get outta bed at all today?”

“Don’t wanna see her.” His voice was rough.

Robin fluttered about.

“I’m going to go make him something to eat. She closed the door quietly behind her.

“Have you eaten?” Steve huffed at Billy. “Right. Dumb question.” he tugged down the blankets to expose Steve’s head, brushing his fingers through his hair.

The product from last night had gone a little greasy.

“Robin’s making you some food. Because she loves you. Because people love you.” Steve remained quiet.

Robin came back quickly, turkey sandwich on a plate.

Billy manhandled Steve until he was sitting up.

His eyes were red and glassy, and he looked pale.

They sat with him as he slowly ate.

“Dingus, people care about you.” Steve gave no reaction to Robin’s words. “Sometimes the family you choose is just, better.”

He finally looked up at her, his bottom lip trembling.

“I just, I want my mama.”

Billy thought he was gonna start crying as Steve dissolved into tears.

He pulled Steve into him.

He genuinely had no idea what to do.

-

“He hasn’t left his bed in four days.”

He curled up tighter as he heard Billy on the stairs.

“We’ve been forcing him to eat.” Robin’s voice was there too.

There was a soft knock on the door, and a gentle weight on his bed.

“They told me everything.”

Joyce’s voice was soft in the darkness as she addressed Steve. “I’m sorry.”

He kinda wanted to cry, but it felt like he had no more tears left.

“I remember the first time Lonnie got mad at me. Got really mad. I felt like you do. Completely betrayed. Realizing this person, this person that promised to love me forever, didn’t. It felt like my spine had been ripped out.”

And Billy watched from the doorway as Steve actually pushed away the blanket, as he sat up to look at her. Eyes dull but focused.

“What did you do?”

“Focused on my boys. The people that I could say without any doubt that loved me. You’ve got a lot of people that love you, Steve. But I know it hurts, and it probably will for awhile.”

Steve’s eyes found Billy’s. Billy offered him a small smile.

“You’re not unlovable. She’s incapable of love. And that’s not your problem to fix.”

And Steve looked back at Joyce, and nodded at her.

Joyce smiled.

“How about you come over for dinner tonight? We always love having you over.” Her tone left no room argument as she stood up. Steve nodded at her, and actually smiled. Just a tiny thing.

“That’d be nice.”

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Potions and Princes (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Virgil never really had much talent, at least not where his family was concerned. His brother Logan was the brightest witch their teachers had ever met, his mother the most beautiful, and his father the most powerful.

And then there was Virgil, utterly useless and utterly pathetic at any and all magical endeavours.

He wasnt even sure he should still be at the boarding school for witches in training, he'd barely passed his entrance exams, Logan always told him that he was better at magic than he gave himself credit for, but Virgil never really believed him.

"I'm telling you Lo, they're gonna kick me out any day now! You graduate next year and then there's nothing stopping them from doing it!" Virgil said, spread out across the couch in the common room.

"Virgil, they're not going to kick you out just because I'm not here, you've been performing magic perfectly well for a sixteen year old witch, and you've still got five years left to improve," Logan said, twirling his wand in his hand and watching the blue and pink waves emanating from the end of it.

"That's easy for you to say, you've never had a problem getting a spell to work or a potion to mix correctly," Virgil said, pouting slightly.

"I think you're perfectly attentive with potions," Logan replied, spinning his wand in a quick circle to cancel the spell and putting it back in his pocket.

"Clearly you've never actually watched me make a potion," Virgil replied, grimacing.

"Well, you have some of the highest potion marks you can get, so clearly you must be doing something right," Logan continued.

Virgil paused for a few seconds, fidgeting with the hem of his black skirt.

"Can we talk about something else. . ." Virgil said finally.

"Of course," Logan said, sitting down next to Virgil and moving so Virgil's head was resting in his lap.

"How'd that meeting about your top surgery spell go?" Virgil said.

"Swimmingly," Logan said, a grin spreading across his face.

Logan and Virgil were similar in a lot of ways, but they were also very different. Whereas Virgil could go ages without a hair cut, wear skirts, and didnt mind not having his binder on, Logan wouldnt be caught dead dressed femininly, Virgil liked the darker aspects of magic, those made Logan shudder just to read about, Virgil laughed at just about anything, it took a very well times joke to get Logan to laugh, Logan had a loving boyfriend named Emile, and Virgil was so undesirable that not even a toadstool would've chanced him.

"That's good, how do you feel?" Virgil asked.

"Its a little sore, but it wouldve been like that without magic to," Logan answered

"I'm just glad your happy," Virgil said, smiling.

"Have you written to mom and dad yet?" Logan said.

"No. . ." Virgil replied. It wasnt that he didnt like exchanging letters with his parents, but they always wanted to talk about his classes and his marks, never how he was feeling or if he'd made any friends.

Granted, Virgil hadn't made any friends, he was just as lonely now as he had been when he started attending the school at age six.

But none of that was helped by his status in relation to the most famous family of witches in the millennia.

Roman Prince-Duke and Remus Duke-Prince were the most coveted pair of twins from the moment they made their availability known. Within the year Remus had found himself smitten with one Patton Boleyn, but Roman was still very much available.

Not that it mattered since he practically hated Virgil's guts. He'd glare at Virgil when he walked into the room, whisper about him when Virgil thought he wasnt listening, and would absolutely lose his mind if they had to work together.

So Virgil had given up hope of being noticed positively by the handsome prince, because Roman had made it very clear where he stood on Virgil's existence.

Virgil awoke the next morning twice as exhausted as he'd been when he went to bed. This was of course, perfectly normal form him, he never got sleep, that was just how he worked.

He checked the schedule on the side of his bed and felt his heart sink as he read his first class of the day, dueling.

Virgil was a complete disaster when it came to duels, he couldnt focus enough to get any spells to work right and he was always so busy thinking about spells that he never remembered to block them.

The sinking feeling in his chest was only amplified once he read over his partner for today's duel. Roman, of course it had to be Roman. Roman with the smile that could stun better than any form of magic, Roman with the brain that could come up with a new spell within seconds, Roman that could block any attack with a flick of his wrist.

Virgil began mentally preparing his will as he walked inside the building.

"I cant duel with him! Are you sure theres no way to change the pairings?" Virgil froze as he overheard Roman's voice talking to the instructor, he sounded scared, maybe even upset. But Virgil just assumed he was imagining things and moved on.

He barely paid attention to the other duels until his name was called, only then did he finally look up to the stage.

He felt numb as he stepped up to the center, and even worse as he watched Roman approach from the other end. He wanted to curl up in his overly-large sweater and disappear into the abyss.

"On my count, the duel will begin in five!" Virgil's grip on his wand tightened.

"Four!" He watched as Roman dug his feet into the wood.

"Three!" Dear gods why was he smirking? Did he have to be smirking?

"Two!" Virgil tried to keep himself focussed.

"One!" A flash of light, sparks, and then it all disappeared.

And in the center of the smoke, was a small, red and white, frog.

Oh gods oh gods oh gods nonononono please tell me someone else did that nonononono this cant be happening- Virgil's mind was racing as he watched the teachers rush over to what had been Roman mere seconds ago. He wanted to run, he heard yelling, angry yelling, he felt things being thrown, heard people getting their wands out.

The teachers made quick work of getting Roman back to normal, and Virgil had rushed out of the room almost as soon as he saw the shock on Roman's face.

"Virgil!-" Roman called after him, but Virgil was already rushing across the grounds back to his dorm, he didnt need to hear anything else about what a horrible witch he was, and he certainly didnt want to risk getting cursed.

He was so busy rushing off in fact, that he barely noticed the figure watching from the tallest tower of the school.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@meowthefluffy

@willowaudreykeyes

@thefivecalls

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@melodiread

@frog-candy-bee

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@teamplutoforlife

@pricklyfish777

[tomdiddlyumptious]

A.R| Just cry Already

Summary: did arvin take you on a date- oop.

Warning: slight sexual tension, just a little tense, NOT SEXUAL- terrible flirt, and of course unedited

A/n: smack my ass like a drumb ✌️😌- YALL I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE ABOUT BEING LATE- IM HAVING A FEW PROBLEMS AND I HAVE TO RE WRITE THE SHIT I RIGHT BECAUSE IT SEEMS RUSHED!

Chapters -> one ✨ two 🤠 three ✨ four 🤠 five

Arvin isnt a stalker, he just wanted to know where you live, turns out just across the woods. Lenora called him ‘freakin crazy’ while his grandmother called him ‘in love’. He wants to sneak you out so he does, he grabs his coat and nicer pants, he cleaned himself up, brushed his hair back with some water and brushrd his teeth.

“She is gonna love you man” he says to himself in the mirror, after checking himself out. He grabbed his keys and headed out.

You on the other hnd were right awake, thinking about the preacher and how disrespectful he was. “God he just seems-“ you cut yourself off, you were honestly having the second hand embarrassment, how it is to be in his place.

“Im not falling in fucking love, hes a white boy god dammit” you murmured, the room dark and the door closed while you placed your hands under your ear, closing your eyes.

Until you heard a light knock.

You jumped as you looked out your window, a hat appearing as hands start to open the window, you quickly got up and grabbed your heel. You grabbed the foot of it and held the heel up.

“Oh shit- how hard can it be to open a damn window?” You hear youre guessing a man groan, you walk up to the window and see white hands, your first instinct is to pierce it but you soon realize who it is.

“Shit arvin you scared me! I almost put a whole in your hand!” You whisper yelled as you put down the heel softly to not wake anyone up. You grab his hands and let him inside, softly planting his feet on the ground and looking at you with his chocolate brown eyes that the moon shone on.

“Hey” he let out a chuckle as he looked at you. “My dad is gonna kill me and you, what do you want arvin?” You ask seriously, placing your hands on your hips and honestly missing your bed.

“I-uh wanted to take you on a date- as i said theres a drive through and a movie is playing” “is this your ticket to makeout with me?” “I mean no- but that would be nice” you sigh, then you hear wood creak. “Shit! In the closet- NOW” you whisper yell, pushing him to the closet and closing it, throwing yourself on the bed and under the sheets.

Your door opens as your eyes are wide open, your father entering. “Why are you up? And why is your window open?” “Its hot and my head hurts a bit” “not sneakin boys in here are ya?” He switches on the light looking around in your room. “Now why would i do that, dad?” You let out a giggle. “I dont know, i hope you know your my little girl and your never leaving, ever” he lets out rather harshly. Arvin crinkled his eyebrows and mentally added notes about your father, now understanding what you meant earlier.

You gulp and nod, not wanting to answer. He smiles and turns off the light, closing your door all the way shut before stepping off. Sooner or later the closet door opened with a smiling arvin.

“Get changed! We gotta go!” He whisper yells, you smack your lips and sigh in defeat before getting up and walking over to your closet. “Well you gotta get out!” You say, he raises an eyebrow in confusion “of my closet?” He lets out an ‘ohh’ before standing up and dusting his pants off.

You take out some of your brothers jeans, a tank top and some 2 inch black heels. “Arent women not aloud to wear pants?” “So you arent a feminist?” Arvin lets out a ‘pffft’ “of course i am, Especially for you” “oh shut up and let me change” it became awkward of course as you had to hide yourself from arvin.

Of course you didnt have a bra on, so when you took off your night gown your breats slapped on your stomach, arvin just leaning against the window seal with his arm as he watchs you without hesitation “you are such a creep, i can feel you staring at me” you comment. He only giggles as he watches your back move, your glowing back move to put your black tank top on.

You turn to him and meet his eyes “turn around arvin” “why?” “So i can take off i pants?” “O-oh yeah” you give a smile while he turns around, dropping your pants still facing him you grab the jeans and slide them on.

Arvin really wanted to see you, he knows you arent shapped like these others, he wants to touch and admire you everywhere, every flaw would be his favorite part, he just needed his fingers on you. “You almsot done-“ “look?” You ask, he immediately turns around and meets your dressed body, well you didnt button your pants all the way, he smiled as he looked at you up and down “gorgeous” he licks his lips. “Havent took me on the first date” you remind him making him roll his eyes silently.

You both sat in the car, music distantly playing as he had his hand on your thigh, looking at you for some moments while you looked straight ahead. He looked again and you caught him “what?” You giggle, making him smile and blush “your like, really beautiful- i hope you believe me” you bite your lip and shrug “i dont know just yet”.

He bought you the famous pineapple upside down cake and some Bees Knees, as you guys pulled up in the drive through. “Scary movie, classic move arvin” you rolled your eyes. He only laughed as he continued to look for a spot “do like them?” “Yeah i do, which one is this?” “Only the famous Nosferatu” “cool” he chuckled as he parked his Chevrolet Bel Air in one of the best spots.

“I hope you dont think your getting me tonight” you look at him while he sios his drink, he only shrugs “you dont know” he winks. You smirk but turn away from him as you turn on the radio to the right channel, hearing the movie you grabbed a fork and took a bite out of the pineapple-cake.

About an hour in he tried his best to flirt with you. “Hey y/n” he said, you turned to him as he picked up the same fork you had and took a bite, sexually. You sucked in your lower lip to keep you from laughing as he continued to eat it and make eye contact with you. And then he wasn’t expecting it, you started cackling.

He didn’t understand why as he made sure to lick the fork clean. You were out of breath as he rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw. “I-im so-sorry” you only started to laugh harder “b-but that! I cant-“ “whatever” “dont get mad at me, im sorry” you sucked in your laughs and patted his shoulder, giving a playful frown as he looked back at you with his lips tucked to the side.

“Im not mad, no need to apologize hun” “oh we’re doing pet names?” “I mean, yeah” “alright sweetcheeks” you said as he smacked his lips and couldnt fight the urge smile.

He turned off the radio and turned to you, you had your heels off showing your pretty piggies that arvin laughed at, he looked up at you and seen you smiling at him. “What?” He asks, his cheeks slowly heating up. “Youre beautiful arvin” you complement as his cheeks become scarlet. “Your too sweet” he says back, biting his lip to stop himself from grinning more “well tell me about yourself, will ya?”

“What do you wanna know?” You ask as you lean back, your lower lip popping out over your top. “Your favorite color, movie something like that?” “Well, i like F/C my favorite movie is F/M my favorite food is F/F and i love rainy and cloudy days” “how come?” “My little brother, and because they are relaxing” you sigh and give a small smile.

“Well i like red, i dont really have a favorite movie? I love my grandmas cooking so i also dont have one, but i like sunny days- even though we rarely get those” he chuckles, you place your hand on top of his “how nice” you grin.

“I-i feel so embarrassed- about in church- god” he groans. “Dont be arvin- i dont care and nobdy else does- well i dont mean it like that but you know-“ “yeah” he sighs, relaxing a bit as his legs slightly open, his elbow on the ontop of the closed window as he rested his head on his cheek.

You felt happy but sad, you dont want him to feel that way at all, nobody deserves it, not even the racists deserve it. “Look let go of it, it was a moment and you are moving on” “you say that like it was a week ago” “oh well, arvin”

“So you snuck out last night?” Cloudy asks again for clarification, you look at him annoyed but nodded. He chukcled as he shuck his head “ what?!” You ask, slapping his arm as you guys walked down to the lake for a bit.

“Dad is gonna fucking kill you, do you even like this boy?” “We went in one date! And it was nice, we actually have an emotional connection” “how much?” He asks looking at you. “We talked the whole movie through” “i swear if he-“ “calm the hell down cloudy” you giggle, he only rolls his eyes as he huffs.

“I hope you know no one is gonna be happy” “well I guess im thankful for you” you wrap your arm around his arms, holding his shoulder in your hand and rubbing it some as he chukles. “How was school by the way?” You ask suddenly, he only shrugs as he looks at his moving feet “talk to me cloud”. “I seen lenora around and stuff” “did you talk to her?” “No” you sigh as you shake your head in disappointment.

“Well get out of your comfort zone- do something” you raise your eyebrow at him, slightly annoyed. “And who are you to tell me what to do?” He says, cocking the same eyebrow. “I am your sister, your older sister- the one who-“ “changed my diapers” cloudy mocks, already knowing what you were gonna say.

“Exactly, although we might not be able to do a whole lot of things that doesnt mean we cant bend the rules just a bit, right?” You give him a small smile as he chuckles “you are the exact opposite of dad” “i know- thats why you love me so much” you giggle as you take your hand from his shoulder and start walking normally side by side.

“Hey y/n?” Cloudy asked after a few minutes of silence, he looked at you as you hummed and told him to continue,” you know how you promise me and mom that youre gonna take us out of here?” You looked at him and nodded.

“Do you ever rethink it? Or even think about leaving us?” He hesitated. “Well- i dont pray, i dont work, and i barely help anyone. So sometimes i do think about it- think about if we do get stuck here, if we dont leave and if we are gonna stay miserable” “so yes?” You nod and poke your lower lip out.

“But when you saved lenora- do you think that god seen that as a good sign for you?- like arvin is a good sign?” He asks curiously, you only shrug and bite the side of your lip. “Are you telling me your believing in god now cloud?” You ask him. “I mean- he did make this earth right?”

You stop dead in your tracks and he follows turning to you as you put your hands on his shoulders and gives them a squeeze, making cloudy groan but pay attention. “Look here- i dont care that you belive in god- but what you wont do is put faith in that god damn preacher, ya hear?” You say sternly.

You were never really serious when you talked with cloud, you had no reason to be hard or hate him. Hes your younger brother after all right? But he knew when you gave him those talks he needed to agree, he always puts faith in you and believes what you say because your really all he has.

Dad is manipulative- whatever mom said to him was because dad told her to. When you were young you barely listened so he kinda gave up on you, so when cloudy was born you took him under your wing because you utterly refused for him to be brain washed by the asshole of a dad. Why did your mother even get with your dad? Because she was desperate and vulnerable.

She killed her brother, on purpose. Your uncle is sick- was sick. He tried to touch your mom also- to all the black folks she was the prettiest girl in the small town- and your father took advantage of it. Your mother was always a free woman and doesnt like to be trapped, but as she got older she grew tired and just gave up- just listened- it meant less work for her anyway.

He nodded “yes ma’am”. You give him a weak smile as you find yourself next to the river already. You heard giggles and the water waves as pictures flashed, then a strong punch. You silently slapped your brother as you told him to get down, both crouching knowing you had to get out of there.

“I want you to go the car cloud” you whisper at him, crawling ahead and turning to the bushes, slightly getting a view of the people- of course white people.

“Im not leaving you y/n-“

Shots fired.

“Get your dumbass to to the fuckin car NOW!” You whisper yell, cloud stunned but quickly taking the keys from you and running to the car. You start crawling more and see an old man, well mid-30s with a camera around his neck and a women fixing herself- and of course a dead man bare naked with bloody coming from between his legs.

You sat there, shaking, your hand making its way up to cover your mouth, your eyes widening with shock as they started to take care of it.

Now you knew better then to report it because it only meant bad for you, but what happend- what you just saw is absolutley horrible. You only froze and continued to watch almost forgetting about cloudy, you look back at the parked cars and back at the couple your guessing- but they’ve disappeared.

You took your chance now to run back to the car, lifting your pink dress and running in those combat boots. You saw cloudy basically mesmerized- paying no attention as he just looked ahead- the keys already in and the car started as you just drove away.

Taggie! @jeyramarie

[shatteredfears-arch]

its 330 am, i have work at 11 am and have to be awame by 8, this is fine, heres more donna/angie/claudia thoughts

if claudia’s bones formed Angie, and claudia’s soul was attached to those bones, donna sharing her cadou with angie adda to the idea that angie’s personality being so vastly different from donna’s is because it isnt donna’s personality, it’s the personality donna looked up to and wished she had: its claudia.

donna is based on the folklore surrounding the weeping spirit haunting a desolate ground, the possession of dolls and the calls of the banshees.

donna was transformed after claudia’s death, and claudias canon death is 1996, at the age of 9 years old at most. donna was given angie after the fact, and given to miranda as a gift of her parents loyalty shortly after that.

miranda clearly let donna be raised in the house still, since the servants mention her steadily changing personality. which, as donna’s appearance change is never mentioned while theyre alive, leads me to believe miranda was performing more minor tests first. definitely looking at the young (likely 8-15 years old, at most) donna. The diary (in japanese text) says she suffered from extreme interpersonal fear as a small child, and i doubt it ever truly got better. The ‘gift’ seemed to be growing, and Donna started talking through Claudia. But Donna hadn’t received the Cadou yet, at least not fully, because if she had he would have seen her scar. he never mentions it.

also, something kind of concerning if you look at it too long. the part of angie’s face not made from the family crest? it looks like a younger donna. it looks like her dad might literally have deboned claudia’s corpse, and kept her face to preserve it in some way and use in angie. Meaning Claudia would be even more attached to angie.

which leads to this point: if claudia was the one actually speaking. the gardener says Donna was speaking through angie. Ventriloquists, most of the time you dont see their lips move when they speak. for all he knew, it was donna that was speaking, but the only time donna canonically speaks is when she forces a hallucination on ethan symbolizing speech. She does not talk, she’s nonverbal, and clearly miranda decided that was enough reason to claim her too ‘mentally ill’ to properly function as Eva.

Even in Miranda’s notes, she says Donna’s affliction with the cadou is extremely affinitive. If she were already disfigured from the cadou at that point, i doubt miranda would give such high prospects. she dissed all over cina for far less. i think the cadou disfigurement was after those notes were made, maybe miranda saying she’d offer donna more ability to spread the cadou to her dolls, not realizing what the cost would be.

and, maybe she didnt care, because claudia’s disdainful spirit, the only person donna actively listened to, was pulling her strings.

donna is the looming spirit, the haunting figure who’d been controlled and ignored all her life, and the only ones that cared either died or killed themselves. claudia’s death likely wasnt natural, and could have been a result of miranda’s experiments, thus making the likelihood that if angie’s made from claudia’s corpse, angie and claudia are one and the same all the more likely.

and donna giving angie most of her spirit with her initial transfiguring of power, would mean she gave most of her spirit, her power, and her mind to her sister, not a simple empty doll like her other dolls are.

thats why angie has the most power, and angie controls the rest of them.

and donna’s physical body is now too weak to do anything.

claudia could be steadily trapping donna into angie’s body with her, ensuring that they’d never be alone. And when Duke buys Angie off of Ethan, he’s getting the essence of not only Donna, but Claudia as well.

and one thing often stated in folklore

nothing is often stronger than the spirit of a deceased child.

[steponmepinkjun]

oh my sweet jesus

i just found out about your post saying that you get overstim. by super loud noises

AND DAMN-

MY WHOLE LIFE I THOUGHT I WAS JUST A BITCH SVACHABSFAB

because my mom would often talk to me over the vacuum cleaner while i was doing something else, i.e. doing my homework while playing super low classical music AND I WOULD JUST SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY

I FELT LIKE A BOMB READY TO EXPLODE, i would get this almost like rage feeling and i obviously didnt want to make my mom feel bad by asking her not to talk to me at that moment, so i would just bottle it up.

(so thats why i thought i was just a grumpy teen aka a bitch vsjscsbsva)

thanks sara <33

Honestly if I hear too many noises at once I INSTANTLY become a huge bitch lmfao and for like 80% of my life, I thought I was just annoying and dumb. And at first it was really hard to ask people in my life to be considerate to those needs, because it's super inconvenient for them (it's really not, they just think it is, like it's not hard to not scream across the house when I'm trying to do my taxes) , and I know that it seems like it makes no sense. It was hard to describe how there is a Right Time to talk to me or that if I get really overstimulated and don't have the time to go off to someplace quiet and come down slowly from it, if I'm forced to keep being in that environment that's overwhelming me, I will continue to get more and more frustrated and make more and more mistakes with whatever task I'm doing until I reach a breaking point and I either completely freak out or do something stupid. That's how I got that second degree burn over my entire dominant hand, I was trying to prep four different components of one dinner dish while there was music playing and then my roommate kept asking me questions and distracting me and then the smoke detectors were going off for no reason and I couldnt stop everything to calm myself down so I got so flustered that I grabbed the handle of a pan that'd been in the oven for 20 minutes with my bare hand and ended up with a $500 ER bill. I often would have to hide in the fitting rooms at my last job to try to calm down when handling more than one customers incessant neediness would make me feel like my head was going to explode. If I'm trying to do a task and someone derails me, I genuinely get overcome with a psychotic rage that makes me want to rip their eyeballs out lmfao. It's why I hate crowds, and why grocery stores make me so anxious and grumpy, and why I have to pause the movie if you wanna make a comment or observation about what we're watching, even if it only takes ten seconds. And also why if I'm in a bad mood already, ANY noise that I cannot control, like someone's chewing or breathing, will make me RAAAAAGE, like one time at work I was having a horrible, horrible fuckin day and a customer 50ft away sneezed in the otherwise empty store and my first thought was, "DO YOU FUCKING MIND?!?!" like cracked out of my mind angry that this man sneezed audibly in my presence lmfao. Coming to understand that anger is the easiest reaction my brain can muster that will likely force me out of an environment that's overwhelming me, and that I don't actually want to be mean or yell at the people I love when I enter overstim, helped me deal with it a lot better. But it's a challenge, for sure, cause most people really don't get it and aren't motivated to try.

[rae-arts777]

Ok I’ll spar you guys the million screenshots!

RAE IS MAKING A MINI STORY ON THIS! Cause just cause i was bored doesn’t mean you guys have to be ill post the picture of the summary at the end

TW: death stuff, this is Danganronpa simulation by the way

Chapter 1:

The motive was freedom, the first blackened, if they can get away, they’ll be able to walk away, into the outside world. Of course, all you got to do is kill and be free, easy right?

It didn’t take long for Coleman to go mad. Just kill one person and he can leave right? Sam was alone, he can went off the explore the area they were stuck in.

It was too easy. Too easy. All it took was one clean hit to the temple, and Sam was dead. He did it. He could leave now? Right?

A body has been discovered. 

Clark screamed, seeing his brother dead on the ground. Makoto wrapped his arms around Clark tightly, he didn’t expect a murder so soon. Coleman just looked at them and laughed. He could le-

No one ever said anything about a trail. The trail...how could Coleman even defend himself? Clark and Makoto saw him over Sam’s body. It didn’t take long for the votes to be casted, as Coleman was dragged out of the room to his doomed faith.

Chapter 2:

The motive was revenge. There were a few people here who had bad blood against each other.

Liu’s eye flickered to Dorothy, that woman, costs him many things. His plan was simple, such a poor weak looking woman would not stand a chance against him.

His kill would be brutal, he wanted her to pay.

Late that night, Liu walked quietly up behind Dorothy, who was alone in the rec room. Her headphones blocked out any noises. Just as he raised the knife to kill, a body tackled him.

Shi Won Kim. The two wrestle for the knife. Dorothy took over her headphones and spun around alarm to see them fighting.

“DOROTHY!! RUN!” Was the last words like left Shi Won’s mouth when a knife was plunged through her heart.

Dorothy let out a heartbroken scream. Watching as Liu continued to stab at Won’s body. Even though Dorothy wasn’t his kill, this woman under him also screwed him over.

Dorothy darted out the room screaming still, her screams carrying down the hall to the others.

A body has been discovered

The trail was quick, Dorothy was still sobbing. It should have been her. It should have been her. Liu cursed Dorothy out as he was dragged away to his await punishment.

Chapter 3:

The motive was obsession. It was no surprise Ishigami had some admiration obsession with Akemi. It was no surprise Akemi had the obsession of keeping Makoto as her own. Despite knowing he was against her, Akemi still, chose to give Makoto her full attention.

Akemi spent whatever time she could with Makoto. Makoto would only go with her cause he knew she would not back down until he said yes.

Over the pass few days, they actually grew sort of close. Oz hated it. Seeing the way that woman laid her hands on his son. The way she called him son, telling him to call her mom. It hurt to see that Makoto did prefer Akemi over him.

Akemi could see the way Oz would look at them. She won’t have it. She won’t have this man take her son. Ishigami, would do anything for Akemi. Anything. She told him to prove his loyalty. Kill Oz.

Need say more? Ishigami followed Oz until he saw the perfect moment. The training room, Ishigami used a cord from the rec room, and choked Oz out. He watch in pleasure as Oz’s face turned blue. The last sight Ishigami saw was Oz’s body going limp, before a forced behind him broke his neck.

Two bodies have been discovered

The trail, Makoto couldn’t help but cry, he had regret. He didnt think Oz would be a victim of this game. Sure Makoto held a grudge against him, but seeing another parent dead, Oz actually being dead, it hurt. Akemi was in the hotbox. It wasn’t a secret she wanted Makoto to herself

Akemi admitted she did ask for Oz to be killed, but Ishigami she didn’t know.

Everyone stood conflicted, couldn’t they even trust this woman? She just admitted she asked for Oz to be killed. Abby sighed heavily and raised her arms up.

“It was me...”

Abby thought she could have saved Oz in time, she figured it was worth dying if she could save him. But she failed.

Makoto broke down more, not Abby.

Abby walked towards the three other members of Team Confidence. Laurent, Cynthia, and Makoto. The four of them shared a tight hug, the three of them holding Abby tightly and close. It didn’t take long for the tears to start pouring, from all four of them. Abby started to sobbed, hugging the three tighter

“Thank you....for making my life worth living..”

Abby walked willing to her execution, waving a sad goodbye to her family. (Hello I’m crying now )

Chapter 4:

The motive was lovers sickness. Being so close together for a long time sparks love between a few people.

Dorothy still heartbroken over Shi Won, Laurent dreaded over Abby’s execution. The two pervious lovers, started to lean on each other for comfort.

Clark tried his best to comfort Makoto. He hated seeing the man spending his days looking like a shell of a person.

Clark made it his mission to take care of Makoto. And to as far as starting to sleep in Makoto’s room at night. It didn’t take long, Clark..loved him. He loved Makoto. He loved him so so so so so much. His Makoto.

Over the pass few days, Makoto being to become himself again. He knew Abby and Oz would want him to keep fighting. He was going to survive for them.

Makoto went to go see how Laurent was holding up. During his time with Dorothy, Laurent learned the feeling he had for her were long gone. However, Dorothy had started falling for the Belgian man during their time together. Laurent smiled as Makoto walked up to him.

The two men hugged each other, both taking a deep breathe. Losing Abby hurt, but they will get out of this for her. Makoto melted into Laurent’s arms, as Laurent held him close. It wasn’t much, just a peck of the head. Laurent pressed his lips against Makoto’s forehead, feeling the small man melt even more into his arms

Clark felt his blood boil from a distance. How. Dare. He. Try. To. Take. His. Makoto?

That night, Laurent was heading to Dorothy’s room to talk to her about how he felt towards her. As he open the door he was me at by a horrible sight.

Dorothy’s body swung back and forth, strung up by her neck on the ceiling fan. Blood dripping from her mouth, the room was trashed like there was a struggle.

Laurent fell to his knees shaking. Not Dorothy too..

Clark busted out of the bathroom holding a bat.

Laurent and Dorothy hung side by side. Clark smiled at his work, leaving a note on the nightstand. Lovers suicide, surely everyone would believe it.

Two bodies have been discovered

Clark held Makoto during the trail. It was a suicide what are they suppose to do?

“Suicide?” Casano shook his head “its more like a homicide”

Salazar nodded in an agreement. The two men had been in a messy business long enough to know when someone was covering up a murder with a suicide. So they did have a killer. But who?

Clark couldn’t contain his laughter. Oh. He had fail. How...interesting.

“YOU COULDNT JUST LET IT HAPPEN HUH?!” Clark snapped at the two men.

Makoto’s eyes widen as he pulled himself away from Clark. “Clark-“

“What? Oh baby..” Clark smiled at him sweetly “don’t be so scared, I did it for you. For us! Don’t you get it?! Laurent was in the way of us! And I couldn’t risk his little girlfriend seeing me killing him! So I took care of her first!!”

Makoto stared into horror. This...wasn’t the Clark he knew.

Clark was dragged away to his punishment, he kept yelling for Makoto.

“Baby! I did it for you!! Please! Come on! Baby! ANSWER ME!!!”

Makoto ran to Cynthia’s arms for comfort. The redhead covered his ears to block out Clark’s yells.

Clark died with a sickness, but they never knew what that sickness was.

Chapter 5

There was no motive involve this time. Sometimes a killing really is an accident.

Cynthia and Yao were auguring by a flight of stairs. It was getting heated. Kudo overheard and went to investigate. He tried to make himself the medium. He knew he had to calm them down, cause to things got messy, Cynthia didn’t stand a chance against Yao.

The fighting got worst, as Yao got in her face, Cynthia scratched his face with her nails. The man screamed in pain and walked backwards holding his face. Before he was warned, he felt his foot fall.

The big man fell down the stairs. Now a fall down the stairs can’t kill you, unless you land on your neck just right. That was the case for Yao. The man laid at the bottom of the long flight, with a broken neck.

Cynthia started shaking. She killed him. She killed him. And now. Oh god. She’s next.

Kudo tried to calm her down. Maybe they Can reason, it was an accident! She didn’t mean too. Kudo grabbed her by her hands and lead her to the kitchen. Some tea would calm her down.

Two bodies had been discovered.

Makoto felt sick during the trail. They had found both Yao at the bottom of the stairs and Cynthia in the kitchen dead. Thomas was quiet the whole time, staring at the ground.

Just as they began the discussion, Kudo confessed.

“I’m sorry...”

Kudo explained, he knew Cynthia would have faced a horrible death. He knew she was scared. He knew there was no way around it. He wanted to lead her out of this world in peace. A poison of the tea, nothing painful. She fell sleepily and that was that. She went out in peace.

Makoto wanted to be angry, but at the same time...Kudo was taking Cynthia’s place in a horrible death.

Kudo smiled cheerily as he was lead out to his doom.

Chapter 6

It was a homestretch, the motive was given to one person, and it was self driven. It was looking they were going to make it out of here. Right?

Thomas couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to be alive anymore. He thought he could make it out of here, but after seeing Cynthia dead...something pushed him over the edge.

The next few days, Thomas begged someone to kill him. He wanted to die, he couldn’t go through with suicide, so he needed someone to kill him. Salazar tried to smack the man straight

“Would Cynthia want to see you like this.? She want you to live”

“Cynthia........please...just...I want to see her again”

Thomas’ wish was granted.

A body has been discovered

Thomas laid bleeding on the ground. His head was broken open, a bloody bat next to him.

The trail was tense. There was so little people.

Makoto looked around and scanned the faces. Everyone suspected everyone.

“I’m sorry....”

Makoto bowed “I just granted him his wish...does that really make me a horrible killer..?”

Akemi screamed, no no no no, not her son. Not him. Not him. Not him.

Salazar looked at the young man..disappointed.

Casano huffed and shook his head “a killer is a killer..but...I guess some killing can be just”

Makoto stood up “I....I’m sorry...I...” he looked up “just want to see everyone again...” a sad smile spread across his face. “When you guys get out of here...make sure a sick game like this never happens again..”

A motive was the chance to see everyone again...but there was a price.

Makoto slowly walked to his death. Akemi tried to run after him, but was held back by Salazar.

When Makoto took his last breath, a door the three had never seen opened.

It was over......but why did they be the ones to survive?

Why couldn’t...at least Makoto survived?

[microcroft]

i dont feel up to making a big post about this, i just want to get it out no matter how disjointed it sounds.

on monday, i took xena to the vet, which i made a post about while at the vet. it was for an internal medicine appointment, to make sure her kidneys were doing alright and determine what to do about her megacolon medicine so she wasnt having diarrhea anymore. she spent 2 hrs at the vet getting xrays and having tests done, she was doing fine, just dehydrated and the doctor called and told me what she found and what to do (make sure shes drinking water and just cut back lactulose until she was only on .5 ccs, start taking gabapentin for her arthritis, that was the plan. she was fine). i got there and the vet told me they needed a bit more time because when xena came out from sedation she started getting really stressed out and then started panting. cats dont pant like dogs do. xena had done this twice before, i believe both were during car rides. the first time it happened my parents and i were starting the 3 hr drive back from my apartment to home for summer break. the a/c was being weird and the air coming out wasn’t cold, it was warm. xena started panting and i frantically googled what it meant. i figured out she was stressed out and the heat probably wasnt doing her any good and she should get some water in her. after about half an hour in the other car she was fine. i cant remember the time after that much. i think i might have been driving and i just had to calm her down.

i told the vet that she had some sort of trauma related to dogs before i got her and now she gets extremely stressed around them, even hearing them. they said they would give her a bit more sedatives and monitor her until she stops, and to go back home and they would call me when she’s ready to go home.

i was talking to my mom on the phone, driving ten minutes home. they left a voicemails then i noticed them trying to reach me. my phone for some reason didnt answer the call when i hit answer and it went to voicemail.

i spent a while on hold with the front desk, apparently they were on the phone with my mother, because i had given them her number one time.

the doctor told me xena had gone into cardiac arrest, they had been performing cpr, she wasnt responding, they needed to know if i wanted to continue.

yes, yes i did.

apparently 15 minutes passed and it felt like one, i was just sitting on my couch trying to process what was happening. 

they called back. instantly i knew from her sad, soft voice, that this wouldnt turn out well no matter how much it by all means shouldnt even be happening to begin with because she was fine and maybe they mixed up the cats and this cat they are performing cpr on isn’t xena but i knew they would never do that.

there wasnt anything else they could do except go into her chest to try and restart her heart and the chances of that working were very small. she asked me if i wanted to. i knew it wouldnt work but i also just wanted her to be okay and happy and laying on top of me purring and calming me. i couldnt bring myself to say it. 

xena is my child. she is my little baby girl and this shouldnt be happening. it was a regular vet visit, she was alive and prancing around that morning. 

an underlying heart condition. thats what took her away from me. her heart that showed me so much love, that loved me more than i had ever known before. she was so pure and defied all that i thought i knew from my research on cat behavior. she never failed to come to me to give me comfort and receive comfort. she, like in all things, was not subtle about it. when i took her to the vet to do blood work she was like a child, clinging to their mother at the doctors office to get away from the needle. 

i loved her, i adored her, i did everything i could to provide for her no matter the cost. she was my child, my daughter, my first priority and now she is gone because of something hidden within her that no one noticed. something no one saw coming. gone before i even knew what happened. 

i spent time afterwards with her, remembering all i had learned from Caitlin Doughty, trying to find any way possible to minimize the pain. i thanked her for everything she had given me the past four years. i told her she was one of a kind, because she truly was in every way. how i wished there was something i could have done but i didnt know because of all the issues she had, her heart was never one of them.