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#i crave companionship
handcat · 1 year
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back to the dating app 🚶
#got inspired to try it again 🙄#i have a date semi planned now and all of the women in portland are obsessed w me or whatever#bc i like love and dating ppl but i keep falling in love with friends and it HAS NOT ENDED WELL ONCE so maybe stop it you dumbass#(this may be caused by the fact i’ve gotten my hopes up a bit abt a friend of mine but i should NOT… unless…)#i crave companionship#and am#also so scared all the time i’m soooooososcaredddd rn#why can’t everyone just love me all the time#must be my personality bc i’m like really hot rn#also me swiping on ppl just looking for hookups them matching and just 😳 i do not know if i’m at a point in my life where i am confident eno#ugh to do that 😳#as previously stated i’m so so scared#idk i’m conflicted and need to over share about it#idk will continue flirting w that one friend tho#even though flirting with eachother is an ongoing joke in this friend group so i don’t think she would take it seriously lmao#was telling my dear good pal to come over and suck my fingers yesterday like that’s just how it is#anyway she’s cool and makes childrens books and stories and loves dinasours and is tall and can jump really high#we got drunk together at my friends bday and bonded and it was SO CUTE#also she cries a lot when she’s high but doesn’t notice (she’s not even sad there’s just tears lol)#ruh roh just typed that all out and realized it seems like i’m obsessed w her 😳#going to hit my head on a wall okay goodnight
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chaospastry · 8 months
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I went on a boardgame kick some years ago but I have no one to play them with
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nctadoll · 2 years
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I’m so lonely man.
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szfiction · 7 months
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Is it really an enemies to lovers ship if there isn't a moment of one of the characters expressing that if only they knew each other earlier or could meet again in some other way? Because surely if fate had only dealt them a kinder hand, they would have been friends.
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aliferous-ly · 3 months
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Sometimes Tango sees gold. He's deep in the Warden's den, so surely everything is soaked in blue and green.
Prussian blue. DePrussian blue. Like depression. Eh? Good one, right?
Tango sighs. The gold only flits in the corner of his vision and he's tired, he's endlessly tired but he can't leave until he's done. It's already been so long. He's stuck making shitty jokes to haunted faces that would sooner blastificate his face off than laugh.
But the gold. It's like stardust on his tongue. Memories of hellfire. Gorgeous gilded blackstone, the stuff from his days as a blazeling. No, more like dandelions, like sunbeams through forest branches.
Tango sticks his tongue out in concentration, hopping between crackling soulfires. Navigating his own maze requires skill! Skill that he doesn't always have, admittedly.
Releasing a quiet sigh of relief, Tango approaches an unfinished pillar. He twirls his pickaxe and gets to work. Shulker boxes surround him in short order.
So focused on his work, he misses the gold. He misses the yellow, the soft, the scorching, but it draws near all the same, getting closer and closer-
"Ah! Ow, ow, ow, ow," a voice yelps.
Tango screams, fumbling with his pickaxe and building blocks. Both fall to the ground as Tango whirls, nobody's supposed to be here, especially not-
"Jimmy?"
Jimmy sadly stomps his wing out. Black marks mar the feathers, ugly soot staining the gold. "Hi, Tango."
"What are you... How are you here? What are you doing here? You're - you're on Hermitcraft!" Tango gapes.
"Oh, um, crossover event?" Jimmy tries.
"I didn't think there was one of those right now," Tango says. He roots around in his many pockets, making a small happy noise when he finds his comm. He boots it up and peers at the list of people online.
Strangely, Jimmy's the only non-hermit. Tango scrolls through a few lines of Jimmy-Skizz banter, then sees Grian's message of a simple, "join vc".
"Grian got you on?" Tango says, still mystified.
"No, it was more of a group - Tango, quit distracting me! I trudged through all this - this hullabaloo to see you!" Jimmy punctuates this with hands placed determinedly on hips, expression set to a hopeful scowl.
Tango can't make heads or tails of it. It might have to do with the several shots of espresso coursing through his system. Or the lack of sleep. Or the concentration-fatigue, or the way his eyes have been going crossed when he peers at redstone wiring. Any number of reasons, really.
"...why?" Tango finally asks.
This stumps Jimmy. He blinks a few times and furrows his eyebrows. "Why? What d'you mean why? You're my rancher, that's why!"
Well, that's true. Tango nods. Then he paused, frowns, and shakes his head. "Wait, you can't be down here! Spoilers, Jimmy, spoilers!"
Jimmy snaps his fingers. "I'm not a hermit! And I'm certainly going to watch the videos when hermits release them. I won't spill!"
"I guess..."
"But anyway, let's get out of here. It's so stuffy and - fiery," Jimmy says. He flutters his burnt wing helpfully.
Tango wilts. His desire to see Jimmy and guilt at causing him harm wars with his ever-present need to keep working. "I'm busy, Jim. Gotta keep working. It's already been so long, the hermits are getting antsy..."
Jimmy invades his space and as the cavern trickles to silence, he wraps his arms and wings around him.
Tango's always been weak for him. He exhales. Any scrap of energy still clinging to his worn-out body vanishes, and he rocks further into Jimmy's hold.
To his credit, Jimmy just makes a small noise and adjusts so he can support his weight.
"Come on, then," Jimmy says softly. He runs his fingers through his hair. "Let's go take a rest, yeah?"
"Yeah, okay," Tango breathes. He closes his eyes and sinks into Jimmy's warmth. It's rather terrible of his fellow hermits, he thinks absentmindedly. Using his rancher for such nefarious means.
But now the glimpses of gold haunt him no longer. His precious yellow fills Tango's vision, covering him in head to toe with deep contentment.
His rancher. His rancher. Tango smiles, and everything glitters.
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what do you think dros was thinking when he first saw the phasmid? was he experiencing wonder; serenity? did he feel the world was still playing sick tricks on him: did he believe he was going insane from isolation and this was one of the symptoms? was it helplessness - that even though this miracle of nature stood before him, his beliefs prevented him from telling anyone about it? did the phasmid stand over iosef, watching him watch martinaise through his scope? did he feel her eyes on him for hours, until he forgot the eyes and the pheromones burnt a hole in his brain where she used to be? is he in a kind of grief over her absence in his head? is it a coincidence that the character who is most unable to move on from his past is on an island where the only other living being tells the player to turn from the ruin and move forward? that the most self-appraisingly noble and hopeless of causes has looked at the future for too long, and it is destroying him...
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cheekblush · 3 months
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took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.
#i just wanted to have a good time and not rot in bed for once on my work free weekend but of course my brain can’t let that happen#it was such a lovely day actually the weather was sunny and windy it wasn’t too hot or cold ideal weather to stroll through the city#i had delicious food and found some comfortable clothes but at the end of the day i just felt so empty and worn out#seeing all these couples and friend groups and families and i’m still all by myself after so many years#tbh i’m even lonelier now than i was 10 years ago back then i at least had a few friends#idk what i’m doing with my life tbh.. i just want to be happy but even when i take myself on a cute little date i end up feeling miserable#bc it just hits me how truly lonely i am#i fear i’m incapable of forming any genuine relationships anymore bc i had so many bad experiences that i just stopped trying to connect..#with anyone.. even though i crave community friendship companionship and love i completely shut myself off from the world#i’m not even sure what i’m trying to say with all this.. i wish i knew how to be a person in this world#i wish i could be happy#tbh ever since i got back from my italy vacation i’ve been feeling depressed bc life could be so beautiful if i didn’t have to sacrifice..#almost all of my time for work#the post vacation depression is too real…#realizing you can only spend a very limited time traveling and enjoying yourself bc you have to work most of the time just to afford living#let me stop.. i keep rambling and my thoughts are falling like a waterfall#idk what’s wrong with me… i should have breakfast and put my phone away#sorry to anyone who actually reads all this word vomit#☁️
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farmlesbians · 8 months
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like MAYBE i am annoying and a reeeeeally tough nut to crack but i am full of love and want to hang </3 i'm just guarded and independent
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cacophonylily · 7 months
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The Blue Caftan (2022)
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kissesfromher · 1 month
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pretty girls should not have to spend their saturday evenings alone !!!!!
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cherryobsession · 10 months
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Oh to be bed ridden with a future lover in our ecologically sustainable mud house with a self sustaining farm.
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Source
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halfdeadwallfly · 9 months
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it feels stupid how consistently distracting loneliness is
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spirithunts · 16 days
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kda ahri has a very particular diet. not of normal food, but regarding who she feeds on. only terrible people have their spirit essence turned into a snack.
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personthattoleratesme · 10 months
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Something in this video has just altered my brain chemistry. Like this was just so incredibly sweet and domestic it makes me go insane like how are they real I don’t understand
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mad-as-a-box-of-frogs · 10 months
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Doing my part in contributing to Moon Knight trending by reminding everyone that Steven called Marc ‘bloody handsome’ and Marc saved Steven by putting his literal heart !!! in his hand !!!!! after giving up literal paradise because the peace Marc craved all season wasn’t worth it to him if he couldnt be with Steven!!!
Moon knight is a love story 🤍🤍
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surohsopsisofclouds · 9 months
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Sometimes you just gotta sit with a fact about yourself.
In other news, I am once again Thinking about the "eternal hunger" part inherent in vampirism.
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