#idk i’m conflicted and need to over share about it

[handcat]

back to the dating app 🚶

[cxtori]

Michizo Tachihara ✮ Rest

summary: Living a double life is hard and sometimes Tachihara just needs a break. Which is why he’s lucky to have you 

genre: not really angst but not really fluff either, kinda just, melancholic? Yeah, let’s go with that. Hurt and comfort? Idk man.

wc: 1.3k

warnings: SPOILERS for Tachihara’s character. all covered in season 4 of the anime so if you’re caught up in reading/watching you’re all good!

tori’s note: I love Tachihara soooo muuuuuuch. I was so happy with the screen time he got in season 4 and 5. I hope he comes back 🥹

Playing the part for both sides is exhausting. More so than he ever imagined it would be. 

Being a spy for the Hunting Dogs, being a member of the Port Mafia. Two identities that contradict each other, and he was somehow keeping up both.

Most days he could manage, shove aside the conflict enough to continue on. To do his job. To rest.

But then there were nights like tonight, when the weight of both responsibilities proved to be too much. When the thought of going to his mafia apartment or his Hunting Dog dorm was nauseating.

It was nights like tonight, when he needed a break from his double life, when he needed time to just exist, that he came to you.

He never told you about his being a mafia member or a military agent. You only knew him as Michizo Tachihara, and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could.

He knows you have questions, that you’re concerned, and he hates hiding such a large part of himself from you. He hates lying to you. But he can’t tell you the truth, not now. Partially for his own selfish desires, but also for your safety. 

You have your suspicions. There are only so many things he could be out doing all day and all night. Things that require secrecy, that result in him having minor injuries, that he refuses to share with you.

You used to ask questions, lots of them actually. But most of the time you were met with silence, odd excuses, or he would just outright say he couldn’t tell you. You eventually gave up on gaining further information, deciding that he would tell you on his own when he’s ready.

You knew you should probably cut ties with him. A man who actively hides almost everything about himself from you must be dangerous, right? You would always tell yourself that tonight would be the last night. That unless he tells you something, anything about why he’s always covered in cuts and bruises, you would turn him away and ask him to never come back.

And yet, every time he shows up on your doorstep, you never have the heart to turn him away. You’re always the first to reach out, take his hand and lead him inside.

And so tonight, when he shows up at your door, face bloodied and bruised, hands dry and scraped, amber eyes darker than usual, you do the same as you always do.

You don’t say anything as you take his hand in yours and gently pull him inside. You lead him to your bathroom where he begins to remove his clothes as you turn on the shower. 

As he steps into the shower, you go back to your room and tidy up a bit before rummaging through one of your drawers to pull out some of his clothes, a collection that’s grown significantly over the months.

You grab your first aid kit on your way back to the bathroom, another collection of things that has grown in the time you’ve known Michizo. 

You step into the steamy room just as the man is drying himself off. You used to knock, and you both used to be awkward about him being naked in front of you. But it’s so routine now that neither of you think twice about it.

You set his clothes on the counter and take the first aid kit in your hands.

“Are you hurt?” You ask, despite seeing the obvious cuts and bruises littered randomly across his skin.

“Nah, I’m okay,” he states blankly, his eyes focused on the towel he’s wrapping around his waist. You glance over at him and see a rather painful looking cut on his bicep.

“You idiot, yes you are.” You sigh and grab his hand to pull him over to you so you can get a better look. It’s not deep, but it’s not a surface scrape like the others.

You frown and open your kit to take out a bandage and some disinfectant. Michizo moves to sit on the counter beside you, having done this enough times to know that’s where you prefer him to be.

You clean his cut in silence, not an awkward one, but not exactly comfortable either. Just… silence.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers. You don’t have to ask what he’s apologizing for. He’s sorry for dropping in unannounced, sorry for needing you to clean his wounds, sorry for keeping secrets, sorry for worrying you.

You don’t reply as you finish cleaning the cut, and he doesn’t take offense. He knows how you feel, that he doesn’t need to apologize, that you don’t mind helping him. He knows that you care. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be sitting on your bathroom vanity as you clean a cut that you know he won’t explain.

You carefully place a bandage over it, a heavy, oversized band aid of which you’ve bought several  after realizing your little finger bandages weren’t going to do anything. 

Once you’re done, you leave the bathroom again to let him get dressed. You climb into your bed and lay down, scrolling through your phone while you wait. Michizo comes in just a few moments later, dirty clothes in hand.

You watch as he makes his way over to your hamper and tosses the clothes in, an odd expression on his face.

He seems more somber than usual. Though it wasn’t usually on his best nights that he came by, he was typically still a bit chipper, teasing you about little things like how messy your room is or the silly graphic t-shirt you’re wearing. 

But tonight, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t comment on the trashy 90’s comedy playing on the tv and he doesn’t laugh at your rainbow-puking cat shirt. And his eyes lack the sparkle they almost always held.

Against your better judgment, you let the words fall from your lips, though you already know the response you’re going to receive. 

“Are you okay?” He turns to look at you and gives a small smile, though you know it’s not sincere.

“Yeah, I’m good.” As always, brush it under the rug, pretend everything is okay, don’t explain a thing. You wonder if you’ll ever learn to accept his obvious lies.

He walks over to the bed but hesitates to climb in. You study his face, his internal conflict written all over it. You lift the covers, a silent invitation for him to lie down. But he doesn’t move.

“Michi,” you say his name gently. His eyes snap to yours, like he’s just broken from a trance. 

He doesn’t say a word as he gets into the spot beside you. He shuffles closer to you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you close. He presses his face into the crook of your neck and you get a whiff of your body wash. Maybe you should buy some of his own to keep here.

You remain in that position for a while, his head nuzzled in your neck and your fingers running through his hair. He doesn’t move for so long that you’re beginning to wonder if he’s asleep when he whispers something against your throat.

“Thank you.”

“What for?” You ask quietly.

“For… everything,” he sighs. “For being here. For letting me stay. For letting me in even though I never answer your questions. All of it.”

You don’t reply immediately, but you know he can hear the way your heart beat has picked up pace.

“You don’t have to thank me. You don’t have to apologize. Having you here is enough for me.” Michizo’s arms tighten around you and his face presses further against your skin.

“One day, I’ll explain everything. I promise.”

“And I’ll be here when you’re ready to.”

©Cxtori 2024 please do not copy, plagiarize, repost or translate any of my works. reblogs are appreciated

[saintship]

hi!! idk if u still take requests and i also don't know if ur comfortable writing about depression and suicidal thoughts/ideations? it's comforting reading someone have someone be there for them during those times so if u could write something with ghost like that i would absolutely appreciate it, love ur writing, xoxo!! 💕

I’ve been there, I hope you’re having a good day when you’re reading this, no matter what that looks like for you<3

Made reader a medic because I love the medic reader trope more than some family members

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, panic attacks, nightmares

Save you - Ghost x Reader

“MEDIC! WE NEED MEDIC NOW! FUCKING HELL!”

You were trapped—rain pelting at your head while your body remained pinned under a pile of building debris. The pressure on your chest was too heavy to speak, but you saw them in the distance. Price leaning over Simon. Blood seeping into the grooves of the wet pavement. Tears welled in your eyes as you reached with one arm, your vision spotting.

“MEDIC! PLEASE, PLEASE, WE NEED A MEDIC!”

You managed to emit a noise;

“No..”

“NO!”

You sat up, your back prickling with a cold sweat. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t breathe,

“I can’t breathe..”

The weight next to you rose, strong arms cradling your waist. You tensed, your heart pounding. “I can’t breathe.. please..” you hiccuped, drawing breath roughly.

“You can. Listen to me.” Simon’s voice cut through the darkness, his hands running up and down your side. “Listen. Feel my hands.. hear my voice.”

His voice was bleary with sleep, only furthering the tears spilling down your cheeks. You knew a full night’s sleep was rare for him, and your nightmares were a contributor.

“You’re safe.”

Those words finally anchored you back to earth. You all but collapsed into his arms, laying your head on his chest as he moved to lay flat again. Your breathing eased into a steady rhythm, still hoarse but not gasping anymore.

“Good..good.”

Simon somehow knew that saying less meant more; his touch washed away your panic while his carefully chosen words reached the corners of your mind that were so afraid of losing him.

“You were dying..couldn’t save you..” You whispered into the fabric of his shirt, at which he resumed rubbing your back.

“I’m okay. I’m right here..”

“I know..” emotion weighed down your voice as you reached for his head, thumbing through the shorter hair on the sides. He smelled like your body wash; he always said he’d replace his own eventually but he never did. You never insisted.

You woke up to an empty bed and the sound of quiet conversation at your door. Sitting up slowly, you spotted a mug of your favorite drink on the nightstand, a conflicted smile pulling at your cheeks. It felt wrong to be treated this way; with kindness. You shared this trait with Simon, you knew he often felt he was undeserving, but being on the other side of that felt just as helpless.

You grab your drink and wander into the kitchen, spotting Simon pulling a few items out of a takeaway bag. He paused when he spotted you, abandoning his task to walk over.

“Was about to give you a shove, you slept so well.” He kissed your temple, his hands resting on your hips.

“Yeah..I’m sorry about last night, I—I don’t know, I should get it under control-"

“What? You can’t control nightmares, sweetheart.”

The pet name fell so easily from his lips it made you want to hide away forever.

“I’ll always be here for you. Like you are for me, yeah? You get on my ass for sayin’ shit like that, so I’ll get on yours.” He smoothed the wrinkles in your sweater sleeve absentmindedly. “I care, you know?”

You nod quickly. “Yes.. I know.”

He leaned down to kiss you slowly, his thumb grazing your cheekbone before pulling back to guide you to the table.

The guilt melted a bit after his little deceleration, and breakfast was nice. You also got to watch him put way too much hot sauce on his food, coughing through his words while insisting he was fine. You laughed gently, retrieving some frozen fruit for his tongue.

Soon, too soon, it was time for you to head to work while Simon stayed and attempted to burn through his paperwork. Sometimes you came home while he was in a meeting, witnessing the hilarious sight of Simon Riley being outsmarted by a video call app.

You felt sort of numb today. You walked around base feeling like your legs weren’t all there.

You’d had nightmares before. He had comforted you in the dark before. And now, he had reassured you about the ordeal entirely. But if he wasn’t sure, if he was losing too much sleep, would he say anything? You tried to wring yourself out, busying yourself with small tasks in between meetings and even helping a visitor’s young girl that scraped her knee.

Nothing worked.

It only got worse the drive home, since your phone died and your radio had been stolen a few days ago. Traffic blocked the freeway that led out of town, leaving you to sit in a percolating mess of your thoughts.

How could you take away his sleep? He already went through so much, he has been through so much, the least he deserves is a peaceful place to rest. How could you do that? How could you do that to him? Why is he with you, why is he putting up with this, why are you living while he is surviving?

Why are you alive?

The car behind you blared their horn. Space had freed in front of you during your train of thought, and you pulled forward, weaving through cars, desperate to get home and yet terrified to walk through the door. When you did, you didn’t hear the tapping of his keyboard; just the soft wind you knew came from his office fan. You set down your things, making your way to that room. Peering through the open door, your heart sank.

He was sprawled on the small couch behind his desk, practically spilling off of the thing because of his size. He was sleeping. Drawing deep, steady breaths, his chest rising and falling peacefully. He must have been so tired he took a break to nap.

You exited the room as silently as you could, not being able to stop the tears welling in your eyes. Your thoughts raced, back and forth, back and forth.

You’re being dramatic.

This is proof.

He’s finally getting sleep because you’re not here.

You’re such a

It’s not that serious!

How could you do that?

Just stop crying.

What if you were never here again?

You threw up in your kitchen sink.

Saliva trailed from your bottom lip, and you could only watch, knowing you’d woken him up. Again. He could never find peace. You spit roughly, turning your back and sinking to the floor. You registered Simon’s footsteps, his figure in the doorway, the smell of your body wash.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

His voice floated somewhere you couldn’t reach to. You noticed only now your breathing was frenzied, hoarse and uneven. Your hands trembled.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me, breathe.”

God, only you could manage to have a panic attack wrong. You must have made an upset noise through your hyperventilating, because he moved to face you.

“Come here.. come here.”

And then you were collapsing into his chest, sobbing harder with every breath. He didn’t say anything, holding you securely and rocking the both of you with an even rhythm

“It’s my fault..” your broken voice cracked through your tears.

“What? What’s your fault?” Simon ran a hand through your hair, still holding you to him.

“You..You’re never able to rest..” you hiccuped. “..while I’m here..you’re always taking care of me, you never get to sleep.”

You couldn’t stop now that you’d started.

“I shouldn’t be alive..”

Simon stiffened. He leaned forward to retrieve a dish towel, wiping away your tears, snot, and saliva so that you could see him clearly. You’d never seen his eyes so dark, so hurt.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Do you hear me?” His voice was a murmur, like he was whispering a promise.

“I- I don’t..” You were about to break into a sob again when you felt his palm at your jaw.

“You have no idea how empty this world would be without you.” He paused. “It’s not like I’ve never thought about it too, but it doesn’t last forever.”

You looked up at his admission, your breathing beginning to steady. “You’ve thought about it?”

He nodded. “I promise, you will look back on this, and realize how much you appreciate everything. You only get one shot at being alive. You cannot cut it short, do you understand me?”

You nodded, unable to say a word.

“You have no control of what happens at night. When your brain starts playing tricks on you. I’ll be there every time, because I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve done it for me.”

You inhaled a shaky breath, reaching to touch his face. “I love you..”

“I love you.” He returned, pulling you close again. Anything else in the world seemed to dissolve; this was all you had ever hoped for.

[xoxoalette]

Maybe its only me who noticed this but is Eddie the fan favorite on here? I feel sad for Diva so lets give her some love and attention too! Are there any interesting facts about her that you want to share with us? Leave Eddie at home today lol

This is more of a personal one but does it ever bother you (the creator) when fans ask about Eddie more than Diva? You don’t have to answer this part if its too personal

Eddie sure is a fan favorite yeah !! I wouldn’t say it bothers me— I do get a bit sad but Ik the community prefers yandere men over women, so it makes sense for everyone to levitate towards Eddie. Not to mention I haven’t really done Diva any justice with my writing ^^

There have been times where I considered changing Diva’s sex but eh, I like her how she is rn :3 I just gotta work on her character

But onto the facts !!

Diva actually owns a collection of guns, her grandfather enjoys them and she picked up that interest from him. He’s also where she gets her interest in cars from !! She also has pretty scary aim.

Diva also does cam services, and it’s how she makes a lot of her income— glucose benefactors, onlyfans. That being said— she does it just for fun and would have no problem quitting once she got a partner and they voiced their discomfort towards it. That being said— Diva would not do twitch streaming, idk she’s just not v into gaming streams, so she’d probably get a job related to fashion/marketing.

I think a lot of people missed this since I’ve only mentioned it a few times and waaaay back— but Diva has a large scar on her back due to conflict with Eddie in the past. While she holds no grudge against him, I don’t think she cares too much about how he’s still hung up over it. (Not in like ‘get over it’ kinda way but like, ‘it’s not my problem’)

Diva doesn’t live in the same town as Eddie, she moved after getting a scholarship to a university a few towns north, so she lives in a city that’s a few hours away. While Diva typically comes off as a bimbo and almost airheaded, she’s very smart and it comes more naturally unlike Eddie who has to actually study.

Cannot cook, can barely bake. It’s just not in her genes and she has a hard time following recipes because she can be pretty lazy geehee… so she typically eats out or someone she knows cooks for her.

And here’s some things I’ve been thinking of rewriting/adding to her character:

Under read more cause I’m typing on my phone and done know how long this post actually is 😋 keep in mind, the canons below might not be set in stone

Cw:

Diva is still very social and bubbly, and she’s extremely friendly. It’s her natural personality, but also— it sure helps draw people closer, and those she’s interested in even closer.

Not to mention when someone likes you, they’re more malleable. Diva’s thoughts not mine !!

Her toxic trait? Poking a bear with a stick. But not in the sense that she wants to get people mad at her— in fact, it goes the other way, she wants to see how far she can push someone when they’re into her.

Unlike Eddie who is repulsed by his violent tendencies, ever since Diva moved to the city, she’s had bad influences. But at least when she needs people to disappear she knows who to call. There’s no blood or dirt on her hands. Usually.

Maybe she isn’t a yandere after all, maybe she is. All that matters to her is how far you can prove how much you love her :)

She wouldn’t stalk MC babes actively, but she would so put an AirTag on one of their possessions without them knowing just so if she did want to check on them, she can check her phone.

Impulsive. Impulsive impulsive impulsive. You’d think because she’s smart she’d make better choices, but Diva is only human.

[hauntedhokage]

PART 14: Proposals pt 1

WORD COUNT: Kirishima wants you with them full time, now that you’ve smoothed things over with Bakugou. But is it too soon for the two of you to be comfortable under the same roof?

SUMMARY:  1.4k

WARNINGS: none, just the KiriBaku content I’ve been wanting to write since the start 

[series masterlist] | {ao3} | [tumblr masterlist] | {ko-fi} | [spotify playlist]

Kirishima was nervous. 

Never had Bakugou ever seen his lover so nervous that he was practically dancing around a real conversation, but he was going to let it slide. Whatever was going on was something he trusted his boyfriend to bring up when he was ready to do so - since it likely had something to do with either their work or their parents. He was never nervous to talk about their little anchorwoman, so it couldn’t be that, which was why the blonde was going to let it go. 

Until he couldn’t. 

Two days was much too long to dance around a subject, signifying the concept of hiding something rather than simply being conflicted about bringing it up - and that just wouldn’t do. A text to the beautiful news woman asking what was wrong with her boyfriend was met with a response that she also didn’t know what was bothering one Eijirou Kirishima. 

‘Idk but he’s your boyfriend too? Ride him into the sunrise and he’ll say something after that I’m sure.’

That wasn’t helpful, but he doesn’t tell her that since she knew it wasn’t helpful. Which was fine, because he’d get to the bottom of it tonight. Neither of them would be out on patrol, it was date night and they were staying in for their dinner date and a movie, and he’d find time to ask the question that was not yet burning but definitely had some embers lit in the blonde’s curiosity. 

The time comes when Eijirou returns home from running errands, delivering the bottle of wine and green onions that had been requested to the kitchen where Katsuki is working on cooking dinner. 

“Can I ask why you’re being cagey?”

“Huh?”

“You’re dancing around me, like you’re hiding something or afraid to tell me something so I’m asking if you’re okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” The way Eijirou starts doesn’t bring any comfort to Katsuki, who was trying his best to keep patience while the redhead took a deep breath. “Our lease is expiring soon.”

“It is.”

“And so is hers.”

Ah. He was catching on to what had Eijirou so nervous. The proposition of having the little news lady with them all the time rather than most of the time.

 “I’d like for her to live with us full time, shared lease and all of that. But I need you to be okay with it, and I wasn’t sure how exactly to ask without-“

“Yeah, I get you.” Katsuki has to cut off the nervous rambling, for his own sanity more than anything else. “But she already practically lives here, why would it be a big deal?”

“You guys are still in the puppy love stage of dating, I wasn’t sure how weird it’d be for you - or if it’d be weird at all.”

“Not puppy love for me, it’s more than that, for one. Two, not weird, and three, does she have thoughts?”

“Haven’t asked. Wanted to clear it with you since she normally asks what you’re wanting before telling me what she wants.”

Of course she would. Her consideration of his comfort was pretty annoying, considering the fact that he’d probably do anything for her. She didn’t know that he was that down bad, but he hoped she’d figure it out soon. It wasn’t like he was good at admitting those things.

“I like having her with us, and feel better knowing that she’s coming home to us here every night so we’re not worrying about whether she made it home okay. We’ll just have to get a three bedroom so we all have a personal space.”

He hasn’t even looked up from the cutting board, just continues to chop at the green onions he’d been given in an effort to hide the blush that’s warmed his face at the thought of having her around all the time and all of the possibilities that came with that. He was so down bad he was truly fucked, having both of his partners in the same vicinity, but it’d be fine. 

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just expected you to freak out a bit more.”

“We spent like twenty minutes making out on the couch the other day. And then another thirty taking turns making out with you before she had to head to the station. I think we should be okay.”

There’s no tension in his shoulders, no jaw clenching or bottom lip biting, none of Katsuki’s tells that he’s uncomfortable or compromising. Just a blushing man who has moved on to cutting the tofu on the other cutting board while the vegetables cooked. 

“Dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes, are you picking the movie?”

“Was thinking we’d finish the season of that Chinese drama about the princess needing to travel to her arranged marriage.”

“Yeah while trying to get out of it? I like that one. We should watch while we eat, makes more time for the handsy stuff since we have to be up early.” And now Katsuki is grinning, clearly pleased with himself while also excited for the evening they had ahead of them. He’d have to let her know that he figured it out and dealt with Eijirou’s cagey behavior and then rode him into the sunrise as she suggested. 

“Oh, let’s watch the news first though?” Eijirou asks, turning back into the kitchen to look at Katsuki. “She’s got the video package and interview with Hawks about the Hero Commission and future projects.”

“Of course.” 

He wanted to watch that anyway; she’d been so nervous about finally meeting Hawks despite all the coverage she’d done on hero activities. He’d actually sat down so she could run practice interview questions, and he was eager to hear Hawks’ answer to her question about increased community service for heroes outside of their paid duties and the response to future Fight Nights. Hero work should be more than just punching people and getting paid for it, and her ideas surrounding avoiding another Fight Night were worth consideration - she just didn’t know that he’d already taken her research to Hawks for consideration. So far, he’d only heard positive things about it but he hadn’t heard about how it went over with local and national governments - just high ranking heroes and retired ones. 

Plus she said she’d wear the red shirt they both liked so much, since the floral one she’d worn when he’d been interviewed was now saved for just him and Eijirou as a symbol of some pivotal points in their relationship. He really liked the red shirt.

And he was extremely smitten with her. So much so that his eyes were glued to the television, except for when he was grabbing drinks for himself and Eijirou. Even then the redhead was watching intently, grinning when Hawks commended her for her help on the ground during Fight Night and her continued service keeping Red Riot in check. 

“He’s right y’know.” Katsuki comments as he sits down again, setting their glasses on the coasters in front of them.

“What does that mean?”

“You’re a handful, in multiple ways.” The statement is accompanied by a strong hand gently grabbing Eijirou’s thigh. There’s no complaint when that hand moves higher, but a whine does escape the parted lips of his boyfriend. Eijirou was needy, with a high libido and even higher level of touch starvation, going even a couple days without some kind of sex was equivalent to being put to death. 

“Week?”

“Tragically.” The word comes out as a soft moan when Katsuki squeezes the growing hardon through the sweatpants he’d changed into. “You’ve both been busy and my hand is subpar.”

“Hand isn’t enough when you’ve already been to Heaven.”

“You get it, baby.”

Why either of them expected to focus long enough to finish the three episodes left of the season was comical, but the sentiment of the suggestion that they’d have a quiet evening was nice in and of itself to Katsuki, even though he was the one who initiated this time. 

“Also pretty needy tonight, babe?”

“Missed you,” is all he says at first, leaning in to kiss at his boyfriend’s neck in the spot that he knew tickled. “Hate when our schedules don’t line up.” 

“Kats, baby, please don’t tease tonight.” 

“You’re an insatiable brat,” the blonde scolds, grinning at the tug to his hair to guide him back to look into the scarlet eyes he loved so dearly. “But I love you for it.” 

“Love you, too. Wanna take me to bed?”

[scaranation]

Hi are you open for requests?? I wanted you to try making a story out of this thought I had in my head about scaramouche. So like reader died but here's the thing she keeps getting reincarnated and would always found her way back to Scaramouche. The first time she died Scaramouche thought that the reader's passing was another betrayal so he was sad and angry about it, years later he met with reader but has no recollection of her past life but she's still the exact same person, same everything. Idk whats next...

Just Scaramouche realising that reader never left him.

You can throw this away if this doesn't pique your interest.

I’m so sorry this is also late I was intending to write it since a while ago and it might be slightly short but I did my best <3

Also the prompt was so good ahh I’m just scared I haven’t covered the scope of it

༊*·˚ 𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄

Pairing: Scaramouche x GN!reader

Content: Angst, fluff, comfort, death

In which Scaramouche thinks you’ve betrayed his affections at your death, only to realise years later that you’d never truly left.

The first time you fell for Kunikuzushi was under the shade of a maple tree.

Leaves swaying in the wind, gently swishing as his hands gripped yours in earnest. In a promise of sorts, as you realised that you loved him as more than just a friend. At that time, Kunikuzushi decided he wouldn’t ever be able to bear losing you - and his hold on your hands turned into a desperate plea to keep you with him. He hadn’t yet joined the fatui, and so his eyes were bright as they searched yours for the same promise.

Sunny afternoons and dates underneath cheerfully vibrant leaves turned into a norm for the two of you during summer. Words were often unneeded, rather, you would simply sit by each other in quiet companionship. Watching the clouds drift by from your vantage point, feeling as though time no longer mattered.

The feeling of your fingers gently carding through his hair, the peaceful silence of the Inazuman scene. Kunikuzushi was certain there was no greater pleasure than this. The love you shared wasn’t overly dramatic, but it was constant. Enduring, despite small arguments or difficulties. He never had much to do, so Kunikuzushi always waited for you - a member of the Kaedehara clan - to return to your meeting place each day and gently hold him in your arms.

-

The first time you’d betrayed Kunikuzushi was also under that same maple tree. Crumpled crimson leaves splayed around your body like rivulets of dry blood, his hands holding yours once more - not in tentative love, but in hurt and anger.

It was almost as though he refused to register the blade embedded deep in your chest, refused to piece together the fact that you’d been assassinated on account of conflict within the Kaedehara clan. Rather, the young puppet could only focus on how you’d left him.

Had you thought of him, as your eyes glazed over? Not that it mattered. With the one constant stability in his life ripped away, that was the last betrayal Kunikuzushi needed.

-

And so, you couldn’t blame Kunikuzushi - now called Scaramouche - for his reaction when, decades later, he saw you again under the withered branches of that tree, looking as though no time had passed at all. You couldn’t blame him for being distraught when you held no recollection of your past life, only offering a meek smile as he collapsed at your feet and begged for you to stay.

How cruel, fate was, to put you in front of him like this - and yet have you remember none of your past. And yet, instead of stinging betrayal, Scaramouche could only feel relief as he clung to your confused form. Relief that at least, you were somehow alive again. Truly, you had never left him.

You, on the other hand, were confused as to why a fearsome harbinger was burning his face into your neck and wrapping his arms around your waist - but the ordeal felt surprisingly natural.

As though you’d done this thousands of times before.

[elderwisp]

The Sims is love. List 5 facts about a favorite sim couple of yours, and why you love them so much. Then pass this on to 5 others, whose sim couple(s) you also love. 💘💕

HIHI thank u for this ask! AHHH this is such a difficult question because i’ll get in these sappy/supportive moods whenever i’m working on certain couple arcs! there are even some that are top secret that are truly some favorites GAHHH. this is how i feel like, genuinely:

i do feel like lately, i hyperfixate on atlas’s relationships. one reason is i’m like in the trenches writing-wise where i’m finalizing some things. then the other is it’s one of those interesting dynamics between either parties that feel complicated but also being able to dissect it and go wow, love is truly versatile! both feel valid in their own ways and were the thing that maybe atlas might’ve needed in the moment. i really don’t have a favorite between the two because they’re both so idk, fulfilling to me. i think it would be neat to go over the relationship between atlas/taryn and atlas/rowan ft a wip pic:

𓆩♡𓆪 Atlas met Rowan in a very transitional phase of his life. There was a lot of uncertainty surrounding Atlas's future and it was truly a time where being a pushover was not working in his favor nor authentic towards any of his needs. Rowan has a knack for identifying someone in pain and gravitates towards it. Where Dan believes Rowan tried to take advantage of Atlas's insecurities, Rowan more so wanted to bring out those deeply rooted thoughts to the surface because why hide who you are? There's power in pain.

𓆩♡𓆪 Part of why I believe Taryn and Atlas's relationship would not be viable as of right now is Atlas is still really picking up the pieces of his tumultuous relationship with Rowan. I feel like break ups can go through the similar motions of grief just on a different scale. There's a lot of bouncing back and forth between anger and sadness, so couple that with his coping method creates a lot of chaos. There's a deeply rooted sentiment in Atlas that there is no way in hell he deserves a relationship with Taryn.

𓆩♡𓆪 Rowan sees a lot of himself in Atlas. The both struggle to really connect with their parents and dislike the concept of control. A desire for independence. They're artists and have an appreciation in self-indulgence. However, there is one huge difference and that's confidence. Atlas is much more insecure than he let's on and that causes a huge rift between the two.

𓆩♡𓆪 The other part would be Taryn's current state. I will start off with Atlas has been a huge influence on not only setting boundaries with people but also encouraging her to share her work, growth doesn't come at an incline but almost a jagged, bumpy mountain. (💀) All that encouragement to be vulnerable (the book, trying to open up her heart to atlas, the mf kids at the library) to be met with constant rejection is pushing her back into this almost hardened demeanor. It takes a lot of courage to open up and unfortunately she's reached her limit to do so.

𓆩♡𓆪 Rowan has always known that commitment to one person can feel incredibly constricting for someone who, well, likes to indulge. So while he absolutely adores Atlas, there's some conflict that arises in the notion of an open relationship. Atlas really struggles to grasp that idea (well less of an idea and more of this is reality baybeee) and it triggers those deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy.

𓆩♡𓆪 I will say Atlas and Taryn do take the longest to get together but it is really one of those scenes that makes me emotional. Seeing how they progress until that moment feels like two terrified people finally finding some solid ground in a world that is always shifting. It feels like the one thing that finally makes sense and Taryn, my god, she can be quite the romantic with her words and gestures.

[zoominsainz]

Sainz Sr has always rubbed me the wrong way, maybe not like Jos Verstappen levels of ick, but pretty up there… that mentality he taught Carlos from the young age that he has to toughen up if he wants to succeed, I can’t imagine saying to my kid that he can’t be himself and be successful at the same time. And sure, maybe this mentality is right for the sport, but it seems like it’s not right for Carlos as a person which in turn affects him as an athlete because he’s afraid to disappoint his father or embarrass their family name so he has to play up the ‘tough’ act. Idk. My perception is that he’s just different than his dad but he’s been molded into someone else his whole life so there’s a big conflict inside of him. His dad needs to step away from managing Carlos’ career me thinks, I feel like that would bring Carlos at least some peace

I wanna relate the ‘toughen up’ with the way he acts around people, he’s so constructed around patriarcal masculinity that being soft around people is weak and so he has to masc his affection by being rough (ie. his way of showing affection is physical touch but feminine! So I’ll hit and shove and throw you around bc I’m a man and I’m supposed to be rough)

It’s so obvious that senior is the most important member of the sainz family, he’s a renowned sportsman plus I’m guessing he’s the responsible one for the family’s wealth and political power so everyone looks up to him as the leader and so being named Carlos, after him is such a big honor and you’re the only boy! So you have to carry on the legacy of the successful sainz family, so you have to live up to be as great and efficient and be a leader, be a shark, a force to be reckoned with, that’s what you father tells you since you are 6, and all the family around you telling you “you got to be as great as your father”. In a family with such conservative and patriarcal values there’s no room to make a mistake or even be mid, it’s glory or failure, and they won’t hesitate throwing at his face everything they have given him and his only job being to be the person they boast around in gatherings and events.

But Carlos, he’s soft, he show he cares, he doesn’t like putting people down, he never boasts about winning bc he can see that the real fun part was the activity and not the result, ofc he likes winning, everyone does but like with lando, when asked who wins at golf and saying ‘oh in the end we didn’t keep score’ or with charles in the challenges, whenever charles gets too competitive he always offers to share the points instead or recognizing his efforts out loud.

I think he does feel immense pressure of living to his dads standards, show him he can be as good as his dad expects him to be, a carlos sainz as good as carlos sainz and the spanish media have a whole cultural background approach to carlos that he has to be perceived as a tough, emotionless guy, he always sounds snarky and very masculine coded when talking to dazn, very matter of fact. With his country also expecting him to succeed like the other spaniard in the grid with 2 wdc.

I agree with you, if his dad stopped managing him I think he would be able to relax and craft his approach to the sport that he loves in a more personal way and not with his dads expectations but also financial and political interests looming over him.

This was very rambly and messy and the anthropological pov discourse possessed me for a little bit there.

If you have any more thoughts I’ll be happy to read them.

[nyababymao]

How I would write Neteyam ig

I also feel like having lo’ak being the secondary protagonist(the protagonist being jake) and the movie mainly following him is kinda cliche, for lack of a better word. The movie is still great dont get me wrong but the “underdog, rebellious son” storyline is just overdone so much lately that it feels boring and predictable. I feel like they could’ve explored and write a much more compelling plot and arc if they had followed Neteyam instead. These are some ways I would’ve rewritten the movie. I’m gonna bullet point this because it’s really just ideas and some headcanon that are bouncing around in my head rather then one cohesive storyline.

- neteyam’s arc would probably follow him trying to be as good a soldier, eldest brother, and son he could be and while he doesn’t hate it, it does end up making him feel like he has to carry the family on his shoulders and that he’s responsible for his younger siblings

- so then when lo’ak goes missing, he goes ballistic and lashes out against aonung, conveying that even though he has the levelheadedness and quick thinking of his father, he still has his mother’s fierce protectiveness and ferocious anger

- after lo’ak is safely back, Neteyam goes off deep into the forest further into the land so as to find solace in a setting he’s more familiar with to calm down. He climbs further up into the trees the way he’s used to doing and the familiarity brings a comfort to him.

- aonung may somewhat know the area because he lives near it but to traverse the lands and more specifically, the tall trees means to utilize his biology in ways it’s not used too. His slightly bulkier build makes it hard to balance on and move through the trees, his thicker tail is not prehensile like the omatikayan’s and can’t grip the trunks, and his more slippery skin that used to help him glide through water now hinders him and makes him slip on the branch’s. This mirrors how the sully family, and neteyam specifically, had to learn to maneuver through the seas and water with their omatikayan biology.

- but it is his determination to get to neteyam even through terrain he’s not used to and even though he fails multiple times that displays and proves his growth and genuine guilt towards neteyam for putting lo’ak in harm’s way. Eventually neteyam sees this and helps guide him in climbing to a high enough branch for them to look over the lands. This is when aonung properly apologizes to neteyam and they make up. Neteyam also makes a comment on how they share a similarity in being the eldest and future leader of their clans.

- after this, neteyam and aonung has little moments such as doing chores together or mindless chitchats in the background. Maybe neteyam tells aonung about his old home and it’s traditions and culture.

- neteyam’s personal character conflict is really more of an internal self-esteem issue relating to how he needs to stay strong for the family and how he can’t faulter rather then an an open conflict with jake like lo’ak’s is.

- i think if we really need a death in this situation, I think I would choose Jake for it. Maybe Jake dies saving neteyam and he internalizes that as his fault because he was supposed to be the one protecting everyone and now his father is dead because of him(idk this part is kinda weak still working it out). This is more so we still have the scene of when neteyam was young and catching a fish with Jake near the end of the movie but instead of Jake reminiscing his dead son, it’s Neteyam reminiscing his dead father; same scene from a different angle.

- this would probably happen in a third move rather then this one but i like to think about how if neytiri resents and lashes out/hisses at spider because he’s the son of/same species as her mate’s killer, neteyam then in response lashes out/hisses back because he’s lost one of his family, he’s not gonna lose another, even if that means fighting his own mother.

and that’s all I got so far, I might make more posts about this, I just really think neteyam had so much potential that we just never got to see.

[eluminium]

more insane thoughts about life seires skizzleman coming up

okay so as I continue to sit in this basement and every wall is nothing but thumbtacks and red string, I am slowly losing even more of my marbles. As in, I have a lot of scattered thoughts about Limited Life and I'm about to share these slightly insane ideas with all of you. Please enjoy, as I'm starting to run out of red string and I might die if I do.

Skizz being The Dove/A manifestation of peace or something insane like that idk man I'm punching the wall:

Okay, hear me out on this. In my previous post about Limited Life (The Skizz and Number 3 one yes this is a link), I talked about how technically, Skizzleman could be considered a Dove. Y'know, a symbol of peace. The last warning before everything truly goes to shit. Skizz very much prefers negotiation and deals over violence and all that, man chooses to be kind. Not out of naivete, but out of a pure will and want. 

He has ONLY killed with justification he's never just...killed. And every time he's tried to kill without reason he has failed spectacularly and probably also died. Like, take Jimmy and Cleo from 3rd Life. Skizz killed Jimmy because he was an active threat to The Red Army and because the Red Desert had been antagonizing Dogwarts for a while. It wasn't something against Jimmy, it was more against the Red Desert itself. He later spares Scar by changing the bargain to "Give us the banner and we'll leave you alone" instead of just straight-up murder. Because he had already taught the Desert enough, there was no need to spill more blood. Cleo is even easier to understand. Cleo attacked Ren, Skizz's king and the guy Skizz was THE most loyal to during 3rd Life. Of course, Skizz acted in defense of his king and took Cleo out. And he also spared someone this time too. Bdubs. He let Bdubs take Cleo's stuff back. There wasn't a need to spill more blood. 

Then we have the latest of his kills, his Bdubs kill in Limited Life. An honor duel. Skizz had been wronged, knew that it was going to get in the way of future alliances, and was looking for revenge, but he still made sure it was going to be clean with no resentful feelings afterward. Then after killing Bdubs he made sure to make it up to the man with not only a very sweet compliment but a golden apple as well. By doing this, by cleanly ending his feud with Bdubs, TIES were able to complete a very promising-looking alliance between them and The Clockers. 

Skizz only sheds blood when he has no other option. When it's better.

And then there are the times he's tried to kill without reason but he's just, failed. Horribly. He died in 3rd Life by mindlessly charging into the Crastle, failing to kill anybody. He got no kills in Last Life because when he turned Red, he was just running around trying to kill people once again, mindlessly. Or in service to another, in one instance. And he died in Last Life almost the exact same way as in 3rd Life. Charging an enemy like a wild beast and being put down. Skizz just can't get a kill when it's out of pure bloodlust and a wish for revenge.

And that's what makes Skizz a Dove. He only kills in instances when it is needed. He's not a symbol of peace because he's a perfect little pacifist who never wants to hurt anyone, no. He's a symbol of peace because he unintentionally and intentionally acts as one of the biggest forces of it. Not only choosing mercy for enemies who pragmatically should have been taken out but also killing those that push for war and conflict whether intentionally or unintentionally. And when the Dove tries to strike like an eagle, the Dove dies. And with it, peace dies. After Skizz died in 3rd Life there were no other forces for even a negative peace between Dogwarts and the Desert Alliance. The rest of it was all just a bloody war. After Skizz died in Last Life, the Wither was summoned, forcing the remaining players into groups. Red names and Non-red names. They fought bloodily too until both groups rotted away slowly. 

And do you wanna know something even crazier? The ones who were present while the Dove was put down, would go on to be 2nd and 1st in survival rankings. Grian killed Skizz in 3rd Life while Scar was there for backup. Grian won and Scar was second. Ren killed Skizz in Last Life with Scott as a backup. Ren came second and Scott came first. And it makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, the two who witnessed the death of peace would, in the end, turn on each other. It makes sense. IT MAKES SENSE.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

One comes first...the other comes second. Those are the only numbers above three. three. T H R E E. NO. NO THERE'S MORE BLOODY EVIDENCE FOR THE STUPID CONNECTION BETWEEN SKIZZ AND THE NUMBER 3. I. I WANT TO CRY. WHY. WHY AM I STUCK IN THIS DUMBASS BASEMENT JUST MAKING MORE AND MORE AND MORE CONNECTIONS FOREVER???

AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE.

Because if you buy into the "Skizz as a symbol of peace or whatever" concept...it makes Limited Life make even more sense. Y'know how some people have been saying "Oh Skizz is inheriting the Canary Curse from Jimmy!!!". While this is valid, I think my utter insanity has, at least in a little way, proven that Skizz himself is cursed in some way. Or blessed even, I don't know at this point. But instead of taking Jimmy's curse, it could be that his curse as a peace guy who's doomed to be the server's final warning is just showing up earlier. Because it could be that this time, peace dies quicker than the coalmine can kill the canary...because if you know you have limited time... what's the point in keeping the peace? Nothing is gonna matter anyways, your time is so obvious that it's unavoidable. That ticking in your brain isn't just a vague feeling you sometimes acknowledge. It's loud. It's unavoidable. You can't close your eyes, the digits are inscribed inside your eyelids. You can't cover your ears, the ticking keeps on like the beating of your heart. With such limited time, why waste it on trying to maintain order and peace? Why put so much energy into compromise when everyone is gonna die soon? In the other series, you don't know how much time you have, so you try your best to buy as much of it as possible by maintaining some semblance of peace. In Limited Life, what's the point? The consequences don't matter, because you KNOW your time is limited. It's all around you.

And so Skizz, the man possibly most aware of their limited time, the man who's trying to use that time to be nice, to not make enemies, to be as peaceful as a man in this series can be, is the one who's on track to die first. The Dove, the peace, the will and want to choose kindness and care when cruelty and selfishness are so much easier to justify, is up for slaughter.

Once again, Skizz is not a peace symbol because he's a perfect little guy. He's not a peace symbol because he's always nice, or innocent, or a pacifist. He's a peace symbol because he has only spilled blood when he had no other option and made as many amends as he could to minimize the pain afterward, he's a Dove that only pecks you if you burn the olive branch in its beak. He's a peace symbol because he actively chooses to push for it, to truly believe in the good of others even when that has gotten him killed or exploited many times, not because he's stupid or naive, but because that's what he does. He's a peace symbol because, without him, the series enters its final and most bloody crescendo. 

Y'know, I know Skizz started to be drawn as an angel because he's best friends with Impulse, and Demon/Angel best friends are a killer thing. But maybe we accidentally hit some pure gold there by mistake. It fits too well, doesn't it?

Or maybe I am just actually losing all my marbles and I'm never getting out of the red thread basement.

You be the judge and jury on that, dear reader.

[pearlsinmyhair]

༄ breath of venus ༄

experimental chapter - you are dismissed

this chapter will happen at the end of the first part of the series. this is a piece of dialogue that i’ve thought about and wanted to see written, and i figured i’d share it with you all. also, i may be projecting some of my eldest-daughter syndrome into venus here.

warnings: angst. like father-daughter issues angst. venus shows her torture scars. mention of torture. mentions of child abandonment. self worth issues.

an: one of venus’s biggest journeys that she goes through is identity. so this is a exploration of a step in that journey.

this dialogue is not cemented, but the feelings are. tread lightly.

“it’s was cowardice that drove you away. it was not to protect your family, it was to ignore the conflict that was rising. you ran!”

“what was i supposed to do venus? leave them? let them stay in a war zone and let them suffer? become warriors before they were ready?”

“like how you did to me?”

the question was like a slap to the face. venus refused to meet his eyes as she gazed out at the ocean.

“like how you let me be taken and tortured? like how you left me with a pack of marines and just…trusted that i’d handle it? like how i’ve became a warrior and faced death and loss and hardship for years?”

her words turned harsh as they continued, and when she turned her gaze on him he suddenly wished she looked away.

her eyes were full of heat and anger and hate that made his mouth go dry. three months of constant suppression of her thoughts and sadness over their absence had hardened into cold acceptance.

she turned suddenly and lifted her hair and braid, revealing two perfect circles at the nape of her neck. they were white, but the skin around them was red and angry and streaked with what looked like white lightning.

“they tortured me, father. they strapped me down and dug through my brain.” she dropped her hair and turned back to him. “and i endured it all. all in hopes that you would find me. that you would want me enough to save me. that you would love me enough to risk your own life!”

her voice cracked with tears, chocking on the raw emotion balled in her throat. but she plowed on, the words tumbling from her lips like a waterfall.

“why don’t you want me? why? what have i done to you to make you abandon me?”

she looked at jake, pleading for him to speak. but all the words were gone from his throat. his brain was flooded with memories of the past years.

venus watching as he trained neteyam. venus asking to hunt with him. him denying her, telling her that he needed to take lo’ak to practice his skills. how venus retreated more and more, going on hunts with tarsem and coming back late at night from flying on her ikran. how over time she stopped calling him ‘dad’ and he became ‘father’, and then even that was gone as he became ‘sir’. how he caught her crying a few months after the war broke out, and he had left her curled in a ball on her mat. how she had looked limp in quaritch’s arms as he lifted her into the sampson.

and then it dropped. the question that he always knew was coming and dreaded having to face.

“is it because i’m not your daughter? or is it because i’m his?”

he winced, but he did not answer.

her eyes widened at his silence.

“never mind that grace raised me. never mind that i was only three when you found me. never mind that you taught me most of what i know, and mother the rest. never mind that i have lived with you for nearly sixteen years.”

tears rolled down her cheeks as she pleaded with him, trying to understand.

“all i wanted was for you to fight for me. all i wanted was for you to call me yours and defend me. i’m sorry…if that was too much to ask.”

she pushed past her mother as she exited the marui.

series master list

idk guys i had to write it. it was getting to me.

MY TAGLISTERS I HAVE A QUESTION. do you have certain things that you do and don’t want to be tagged in? let me know, because i feel like i bombard you guys.

taglist:

@lisedanie @avatar4eva @xstarsmvxz

[melodyssolarsystem]

3/4/13 for the pjsk ask game!!

OH FINALLY I CAN SHARE MY UNPOPULAR OPINUON !!!

for number 3 i definitely have two things. i think saki shouldve been able to be angrier about honami and shiho not visiting her in hospital. i think she forgave them far too quickly and i think it wouldve been a fun little thing if once leo/need got together/after the main story there’s an event where one of the vsinger are like “there’s still some true feelings left to be discovered” and it’s saki. saki is still upset about the hospital and not being visited by honami and shiho and despite letting them into the band she wants them to know how much it hurt her. i think that could’ve lead to some fun conflict.

ALSO the over rad squad cards. listen. i haven’t read the events because they’re on jp and i’m on EN but the set. LOOKS pretty but i feel like they had a chance to go for a more sentimental tone/theme considering they’re surpassing the event that was nagi’s swan song instead of. riches or something. they know what they’re surpassing and it’s like. grhgejbshjbshj y’know? there were opportunities…

also not rlly a missed chance or smth that could’ve been done better but i think they should have a fight. like like not like a little disagreement that spans for one event and is quickly resolved i mean like a proper main story fight that lasts for and effects a few events. i know each group is trying to reach their goals but like. idk i guess it’s kinda boring to see them get along ALL the time? i think they should get to have some conflict it’d be good for development

unfortunately i’m a basic bitch so i’m not AS fixtated on rarepairs as i am on the “main” pairs BUT. i do have two … consider. emu/shiho. sun and moon black cat and golden retriever or whatever i just GRHDBDBYDBDY THEYD BE SO CUTE TOGETHER.

also honami/saki is so important to me. poly/need is my main but secojd to poly/need is honasaki and ichishiho they’re so very important to me.

for 13 it was definitely a mixture of gameplay videos and wanting to get more into vocaloid. vocaloid started with friends at school when i heard them discussing it and i said “HATSUNE MIKU ISNT REAL ???” and then they had the Vocaloid Talk with me. then that slowly evolved into hey i actually know a lot of vocaloid songs (be it only the popular ones) so i said i want more. THEN i watched like one gameplay video because it had a song i liked. then there was another. and another. and another. and another. then hey this game looks fun as shit i wanna try. and then the vocaloid obsession grew and here we are. leo/need is so very special to me now and pjskeai/vocaloid has ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY permanently and ultimately changed the trajectory of my life. thanks for listening to me ted talking or smth

[femmefatalevibe]

im getting so tired of my friends… idk what to do, i used to feel so comfortable and love them so much but now they always leave me out, i don’t have that much fun when i hang out with them and i just feel like they don’t like me that much anymore… it’s like i’m the boring odd friend and i don’t relate to them anymore, i can literally spend an hour in silence when we hang out and they don’t notice, they only care about them and it’s like i’m the charity friend. these were are my best friends and idk what to do now, i’ve tried to affirm that they love me and sometimes they’re so sweet to me and i feel like the old days but other times it’s like they only talk to me because they feel obligated to/ pity me

im sorry to burden you, i don’t know what to do…

Hi love! I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your current friend group. I can only imagine that this situation feels incredibly isolating! In a situation like this, it is important to consider: whether there is an unknown conflict that needs to be addressed, how your self-perception can affect your friendships, and whether you've simply outgrown these friendships. I'll briefly elaborate on each point below:

Gently start a conversation: In a non-confrontational manner, share with your friends that think life might've gotten in the way and the friendship feels a bit more distant than in the past. Ask them if they have any bonding activities or conversation topic suggestions. Focus on the friendship's growth and evolution, not accusations. If they have a problem with you, they will most likely bring it up with this suggestion (if they actually want to continue being your friends). If they brush off this concern, it's time to get new friends.

Evaluate Your Self-Image: Your friendships are a reflection of your self-perception. Others will treat you based on how you treat yourself, so it is important to find ways to build up your self-esteem and confidence. Remember the qualities that make you special and enter conversations from this abundant energy (calling yourself the "boring odd friend" is likely untrue and doing you no favors). Self-respect is essential to receiving respect from others.

Accept When You've Outgrown Friendships: We all change as we go through life, so it's normal to part ways with some of our friends as we all evolve and grow in different directions. The common bond, interest(s), or lifestyle you and your friends once shared might not exist anymore. Without any hard feelings or self-doubt, know that it's ok to outgrow friends to make space for new relationships. Get out there. Explore your goals and activities that excite you. Be pleasantly surprised by the relationships you can form over common goals and interests.

Hope this helps xx

[igbylicious]

welp your girl got too rambly to fit in the replies again XD honestly, I just can't help it. You're always so nice, I feel like I got a penpal that I can just share my excitement with!!

NEW PROJECTS YOU SAY (✧ ∇ ✧). Duuude I legitimately could just read your grocery list and love it atp. ahh I'm so conflicted now, and I feel extremely greedy T_T. Honesly, you just made such an inviting little world, and even though it's not fantastical, it's still so alluring that even the little mentions of the other members get me wondering about what they're doing and how they connect to our trio, like the tea spilling sessions between woo and hwa must be so much fun plssss. I wonder where jongsang fit there too and if yunho is ever getting over his little dry spell. idk just little thoughts like that.

Of course I'd take the time! You take the time to write and post them after all!! for free too????? I just really admire what you do a lot, and you do it so so well bless you.

Again, thank you for your kind words. I'm glad my rambling can cheer you up icb im being perceived like that (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄) and I wish you an abundance of spoons ^^

aww hehe you know i love it when you get rambly!!! your excitement is contagious! (´ ω `♡)

oh YES new projects :3 some scifi, a zombie au, more vampire stuff, an assortment of shorter smutty scenarios… there’s a lot waiting in the back! i work on the shorter ideas whenever i need a break from whiway, but i really try to keep the longfic benched until it’s done ^^;;

OHHH i rambled abt the other members somewhere, let me dig that up!

Yeosang and Wooyoung are childhood friends in this fic hehe~ Yeosang moved into Woo’s neighbourhood when they were like 6y old and when this shy quiet boy joined Wooyoung’s class, lil Woo was like “i got this, i’m gonna take care of this dude 👍” and instantly adopted Yeosang lol ♡

Jongho and San are big karaoke buddies! Jongho and Wooyoung were actually drinking buddies first, and now Wooyoung ‘complains’ they never have a quiet drink anymore, there always has to be singing too lol (he secretly loves it tho hehe)

whispers Mingi is one of the subs that San and Yunho tag-teamed ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

POOR YUNHO RIP but yes i assure you he lives a very fulfilled life despite everything ♡(>ᴗ•) (i love that you remember that asdkjadskjadjk)

asdkjadsjkdsa ahhhh thankyou pls, that is such a lovely mindset (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ it’s why i always try to comment on fics too :’3

I’LL TAKE ALL THE SPOONS I CAN GET ASKJDASKJASDSK i feel a bit more stable mental health-wise atm (hence why i popped up on tumblr again lol) but oof some more spoons and a few less forks are very very welcome!!! σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

[just-antithings]

Uh I need some major advice please help:

one of my irl friends who I see nearly every day (mainly at school) and who I am really close to has proshippers on their toy house dni. I uh. I myself don’t have any more problematic ships with one exception that isn’t even that bad just very slightly questionable so if he heard I’m just more of one in a “I think harassment over it so stupid” way (especially since I don’t heavily care for labels and tend to stay out of discourse cause conflict avoidance) he probably wouldn’t care but agh just seeing it really bothers me, especially since I’ve had issues with friends in the past and have a tendency to think everyone secretly hates me. I don’t think I follow him on TH anyway (if I do doesn’t matter since I haven’t used my account since creation lol shit is so outdated) and idk how much he really cares (again esp since I don’t have any really bad ships I’m just anti hareasement and there are some people who considered themselves “anti harassment antis” who care more about “educating” pro shippers or whatever) but it still makes me scared.

it’s not like I’m really open on my opinions on this. My one exception ship I have never posted about, I’ve never revlogged proship supportive stuff on tumblr even though my moots wouldn’t care and my irl friends don’t follow me. The most I have (excluding back when I was an anti) was recently I posted to Instagram, as a kind of “not saying anything outright” amend to anti stuff I have shared that was basically “I don’t care about shipcourse anymore I do fucked up things in video games but I wouldn’t in real life I’ll extend benefit of the doubt to other people” but I don’t think he even saw it.

anyway please send advice. I don’t think this will come up and even if it does I really hope our friendship is strong enough for this not to break it (especially since I don’t have any really bad ships myself and just agree with the “someone can like dark things in fiction without being bad people and don’t harass ppl” aspect) but I still want advice especially since this is likely going to trigger my anxiety over friendship problems

Followers?

[saedii-gilwraeth-simp]

Med Report - a Squad 312 2.0 drabble

Idk fam I just really wanted to write a fic with two of my faves of the 2.0 squad.

~~

Kal had been hunched over his desk when Shae's uniglass rings from across their shared office space. Their squads had been stationed together on the contested edge of Rikerite territory, trying to talk the three species sharing this sector of space into a truce. It had been another AL squad here until negotiations had turned sour two months ago. No-one could deny it was because Squad 986 was the laughing stock of the Legion, so Shae and Kal's squads had both been shipped in to stop an all-out war in the sector.

Kal had to admit, all tenuous border conflicts aside, he was enjoying being so close to his Be'shmai. They'd been Alpha's in the Legion for 5 years and a couple for 4, but these two months were the longest time they'd been able to cohabitate, and he loved being so close to her. Being able to go to sleep with her and wake up with her every day has been a dream. Realising she's wearing his name across her heart on days she gets out of bed earlier to address something and accidentally takes his blue-striped Legion jacket instead of her own had taught him how much he liked her claiming him so openly.

"Admiral, what can I do for you?" Her voice interrupts his musings and his interest piques at the fact his dad is the one who's calling her.

"Well I would have thought you two might have found a better way to tell me I was going to be a grandfather than some random bureaucratic reporting structure, but I guess congratulations are warranted either way," at that, Kal's vision tunnels and his head flicks up to look straight at Shae. She meets his eyes and instead of the expressions he expects (guilt, excitement, satisfaction at getting something past him), she just seems confused.

"Admiral Jones, what are you talking about?" Shae asks his father, brow furrowing. Kal stands from his seat and circles his desk so he's sitting opposite Shae at her desk, out of sight of his father on the uniglass but able to hear the conversation. Shae clocks the movement but seems unbothered by it.

"Well, your annual med report. One of the docs noticed the computer had signed you off as fit for work, but they wanted to check with me whether Legionnaire's should be withdrawn from high risk zones when pregnant," his dad says cheerily and Shae’s mouth drops open a little. “Shae?” Tyler questions when she’s unresponsive. She blinks once, twice, a third time.

“I hadn’t had a chance to read the report, I just checked I had been cleared,” Shae says quietly, beginning to twist the stylus in her hand. Kal doesn’t know what to say, his mind reeling. Realistically, he knew he wanted to have a big family with Shae, and she seemed to be on the same page, but he also knew how much her career meant to her. She glances at him again before looking at her uni. “No offence intended Admiral, but I’ll need to call you back. Thank you for telling us though,” and with that she ends the call. He almost laughs at her abruptness.

Shae slumps back in her seat, resting her elbows on the armrests and clasping her hands together against her lips. He watches her for a moment before rounding the desk and leaning against it so their knees pressed together.

“What do you think?” Shae asks after a moment of silence. He swallows, then shrugs.

“Feel like I shouldn’t let you walk into a room of gremps tomorrow to negotiate,” he says. She looks at him and lets out an amused snort.

“Sucks to suck, I’m the primary on this mission and gremps don’t negotiate with men,” she says, lips tilted in a small smile. After a moment her eyes drift from him to stare out the ship viewport. Her normally relaxed energy is wild in his senses and he frowns a little.

“What’s going through your head?” Her head turns to him again and she lets out a huff of laughter.

“That I want to go Aurora Station and punch the doc who put my implant in,” she says and he wants to laugh at the statement.

“Probably couldn’t get there and back by tomorrow morning, so maybe wait until after your meeting,” he suggests. They watch each other for a second before Shae tilts forward in her chair and starts laughing. Her forehead presses into his thighs and he slides his hands into her hair as her shoulders shake.

Eventually her laughter dies down but she stays hunched over, taking deep breaths.

“What are we gonna do?” Shae asks against his knees.

“I don’t think we need to know tonight,” he answers, and then pauses for a second before asking the question he knows he has to ask “do you want this?”

That prompts her to sit up and look at him. He scans her face but it’s jumbled with every emotion he can put a name to. “It’s okay if you don-“

“I do,” she cuts him off, before letting out another amused huff. “I wanted us to wait until our deployments were done but… I suppose children aren’t always convenient are they?” Kal shakes his head and Shae stands up, pressing towards him to make him we widens his legs so she can stand between them. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and leans against him, letting him drape his arms around her waist. He kisses her softly and she smiles against his lips.

“Besides, we’re the best,” he gestures to himself, “and second best,” taps her waist, “Alpha’s in the Aurora Legion, we can handle a baby,” she scoffs and shoves his shoulder.

“And yet when both our squads got called in, yours was the secondary,” she says with a saccharine smile. He rolls his eyes and uses his hands on her lower back to push her closer.

“Well we both know I like it when you’re bossy,” he says before kissing her, his hands scrunching in the back of her uniform shirt as she presses tighter to him with a pleased hum.

Just as her hand trails towards the buttons, the uniglass in his breast pocket buzzes.

“I think that’s-“

“Ignore it,” he whispers against her lips, which she is happy to do. Until it buzzes again. And again and again. Shae pulls away with a small laugh and pulls the uni out of his pocket and hands it to him. He taps the screen to see a flood of messages, all labelled O/G/J/DS Cuz GC. He opens the first notification and groans as the flurry happening amongst his cousins floods his screen. “So it seems my sister was spending the evening with my parents,” he notes. Shae tilts her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“Ah, and I assume your father didn’t know that?” Kal nods. “So would that be the group chat with all your cousins who have just found out because Lae is an incorrigible gossip?” Kal nods again and Shae hums.

“They’re arguing over who’s going to be the favourite aunt,” Shae frowns.

“Wouldn’t they all be second cousins except for Lae?” Kal hums and puts his uni down on Shae’s desk.

“I’m less worried about that and more interested in continuing what we started, wouldn’t you agree?” He asks, turning them and lifting Shae onto her desk.

“As out of character as it is, I have to agree,” Kal laughs into her mouth as he kisses her soundly and she continues to work on his shirt buttons.

~~

Anyway… ✌🏻✌🏻