#i definitely enjoyed the bulk of the episode but that just felt like it was done in bad faith and made me uncomfortable

[demigodofhoolemere]

Me through most of Boom: Wow, this is a really solid dramatic episode.

Me when Moffat needlessly sprinkles in anti-faith sentiments without specifying that it’s blind faith in bad things that the Doctor doesn’t like, which makes it come off like the Doctor is just against religion generally:

[cellspex]

Finally caught up on Miraculous LadyBug and...

I always knew I wasn't going to watch this show until there was evidence the Love Polygon was actually going to go somewhere, so when season 5 ended I finally caught up with the show. Except by "caught up", I mean I only watched a handful of 'plot relevant episodes' of seasons 2 and 3 and watch from 4 forwards. Some will say its cheating, and they're right. My view of the show is very different from people who have been following it for years episode by episode. And while I obviously can't tell what the entire fanbase is thinking, the gist I've gotten is that they are very irritated from feeling like theyve been jerked around by the writers in terms of certain character directions, how long its taken for Love Polygon to go anywhere definitive, and by the season 5 finale. So as someone who didnt have to wait through years of expectation and disappointment, i know my view of the series is going to be quite different, especially since I'm comparing the most recent seasons to what I barely remember about watching season 1 years ago and finding it very boring and repetitive, so I admit going in my standards were low. Compared to that, I actually had a lot of fun with seasons 4 and 5, impressed at continuous story threads and continuity, though it was by no means flawless, the bad guys feeling like actual intimidating threats sometimes and the fights having actual strategy, the big difference between this and its predecessor Sailor Moon, where there was no strategy whatsoever, attacks just hit or they didnt until the episode ended. Even knowing that the two leads would eventually get together and that I wouldnt have to wait endlessly for it made the silly romantic drama more fun. But there's a lot emotional burdens both leads have to bare and I think they're handled pretty well. Actually getting together mutually feels too slow and too fast if that makes sense, but I'm glad it happened finally and that they still don't know their identities, so there still a shoe to drop.

The drama around Chloe which seems to be a particular sore spot isn't all that interesting to me, I never liked her, and would have given anything for her to leave, and though there was a point she could have had a redemption, I don't know if her character would have had a point if she did, she just would have been one in the crowd, though I don't like her as the worlds flattest bully either. But the only thing as satisfying than a proper redemption arc is an absolute horror show getting their compuence, though for Chloe she'd need to spend an entire season cleaning toilets with her hair to feel like she got what she deserved, I know she has an awful mom, but at some point that stops being an excuse. But I understand more people feel like the writers are and making her too awful. But then the season 5 finale...

I was enjoying it for the bulk with a genuinely tense and exciting battle and conflict, and then the last 2 minutes happened. I can only guess they did what they did because they're leaving some shoes to drop for season 6, but its VERY unnearned and sells a lot of characters short including Adrien and Gabe. There's just a lot of... why? It honestly felt like an idealistic dream sequence and I honestly dont think its real, or it shouldnt be. But in general I was having fun, but it seems a lot of fanbase isnt anymore. But maybe I just havn't heard from enough of them. How do you feel about Miraculous Ladybug? #Miraculous Ladybug

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: Freddie (4x09)

Ohhhh boy. I haven't checked for the reception of this episode yet, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say Tumblr isn't happy.

Cons:

So here's the thing, the biggest "con" I have for this episode is one that's very conditional on whether Marwa ever comes back. Turning your only woman of color into a white British man and then sending her off, after a full season in which this character is stripped of her agency and turned into nothing more than exactly what Nandor desires is... well, it's a choice. And to be clear, I think it's a choice the show made on purpose, I think we're supposed to think Nandor's behavior towards Marwa is ghoulish and disgusting and all the rest, I think we're meant to feel horrified by it. But that doesn't change the fact that I expected the payoff for this story to be Marwa getting to live her best life, and now instead she's... effectively... erased from existence? I don't know. This ending for her character gives me very weird, uncomfortable vibes. I would have played this differently if it really is the end for Marwa, at least resetting her back to her original state before sending her off into the world. If they go back and do more with this character later, I'll be happy. If they don't, I'm side-eyeing the way this was developed pretty hard.

As far as the rest of the episode goes, I will say that I definitely liked the stuff in the main plot with Freddie more than the subplots. Looks like Colin is now a teenager in terms of development, and I'm kind of ready for him to be his adult self again. This is like baby Groot, or something. I'm ready for the original character to return from his purgatory. Nadja's troubles at the club similarly felt a bit underwhelming to me, I'm sorry to say. Some good jokes here or there, but I felt like the actual comedic bulk of the episode was treading water at some points, to get to our conclusion moment, which did work pretty well.

Pros:

I feel like I need to tap dance so much around my thoughts on the Freddie situation! Suffice to say, if this is building up to a better resolution for Marwa down the line, I'll be totally satisfied. In and of itself, the fact that this fucked up thing happens to her character doesn't bother me, because the point is that all these characters do fucked up and immoral and thoughtless things to people. It's part of the comedy and the tension of the show. So yeah, the fact that Guillermo's boyfriend shows up, Nandor gets a crush on him, uses one of his remaining djinn wishes to transform his wife Marwa into an exact copy of Freddie, and then in the end the two Freddies fall in love and Guillermo and Nandor are both single... that's really fucking funny. That's clever, that totally subverts our expectations... people were ready for Nandor to be jealous that Guillermo had a boyfriend, and never in a million years would I have expected the story to take this turn. I admired the insanity of this concept so much! I just wish I could understand what they were thinking with the resolution of it.

This really has been Guillermo's season, not in terms of everything going well for him, exactly, but just in terms of the screen time and development being given to this character and his desires. We see how happy he is to have Freddie, something in his life that's disconnected from Nandor and the rest of his life as a familiar. The shattering when he realizes what Nandor has done is really effective. There's a rule in comedy about how in order for anything to land, there has to be the moment where it stops being a joke. Like in The Princess Bride, when Inigo says "I want my father back, you son of a bitch." In a lot of ways, Guillermo storming off from Nandor, and Nandor realizing he's deeply hurt his friend, is the equivalent of that moment. It's effective if, once again, we keep it in a bubble.

In the subplots, while I mostly was just kind of shrugging, I did enjoy Sofia Coppola getting her head ripped off, and I liked Lazlo's endless list of vampire music pun names. There are always some fun one-off jokes in this show, even when a certain plot thread or scene doesn't hit quite right.

I think ultimately what this episode sets up, though, is a good thing: with only one episode left of the season, all of our characters have been brought low. Young Colin is going through a change and has thus lost his childhood stardom, Lazlo is trying to navigate the changing role he has as Colin's parent of sorts, Nadja is losing her club, Guillermo has lost his boyfriend, and Nandor has lost Guillermo, or at least it looks like that very well might be the case, along with losing his wife. The stated purposes of these characters at the start of the season have all been shattered. Nandor wanted to settle down and be married. He had it, he lost it. Guillermo wanted to assert a sense of identity outside of his role as a familiar. He had it, he lost it. Nadja wanted to open a vampire night club. She had it, she lost it. I think that works really well as a thematic tie for this episode.

So I'm torn. Again, having not explored the reaction of the fandom, I'm willing to bet that people are livid about what happened to Marwa in this episode, and frankly I'm not exactly pleased with it either. But I do think that structurally and in terms of our core cast, there are some interesting things that have been set up in this one. I know people expected Nandor to be jealous, but this twist was honestly funnier and more revealing about the fucked up nature of Nandor and Guillermo's whole deal. I suppose I'm willing to wait and see where they go from here, although Marwa's exit, if indeed that is the last we see of her, is a serious mark against the show at this point.

7/10

[theliterarywolf]

Alright, so Helluva Boss has finally returned for its second season.

The bloody, raunchy little indie show that could has obviously entranced viewers all over the internet (including some who probably shouldn't be watching it; *glaring at the parents who let their elementary-age children watch it because "all cartoons are totes for children, right?"), but is the series strong enough to hold up a continuation? Or was first season a fluke with an unsteady foundation?

So earlier when I made a bite-sized post after watching the S2 premiere, I had a few people who were unsure of whether my comment of 'that was a lot' was meant to be good or bad. Which is, of course, understandable. I was out and about so I didn't want to make a full post and accidentally end up spoiling people.

However, now that I can make a longer form post, I can firmly state that the first episode of Season 2, titled "The Circus" is definitely a strong opener.

While there were a few pieces of the humor that we've come to know from this production, the bulk of the episode was definitely more grounded and drama-focused due to it following Stolas from his childhood, to the early days of his arranged marriage, and finally the current timeframe (i.e.: where Season 1 ended off)

So, what were the stand-out elements for me?

Paimon - I really enjoyed how Paimon, while being an emotionally neglectful parent, wasn't so in the bombastic, emotionally/physically abusive sense. Oh, he's still not great, but he at least had the wherewithal to, upon seeing his son upset about his 'non-negotiable arranged marriage', try and make him feel better through material means. In comparison to most parents in that trope going the route of 'stop fucking crying, do what you're told, and GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!'

Biltzo and Stolas's initial reunion - While their time together as children was cute, I feel like the reunion was a bit stronger not only because of the setting for it (Stella's "Not-Divorced" Anniversary Party) but also because it gave us stronger context for the famous 'Sorry, I fucked your husband!' scene from the pilot. Stolas's joyous crows of 'That! Was the sound! Of a FUCKING divorce!!' were the icing on the cake.

However, I will admit that there were two elements which, while still enjoyable to watch, weren't executed the best.

Stolas's new song - I felt like it was so much flatter than his last performance. Yes, the moods are different (singing a heartfelt lullaby to your child versus realizing that everything in your life has gone to shit) but it never hit that realm of musical-theatre like 'You Will be Okay' did.

Fucking. Stella. - Okay. *deep breath* Okay, okay, okay. I always knew that Stella's main presence in the series is that of an emotional antagonist to Stolas but there was always the hope in my mind of 'well, she probably has reasons or weight behind her demeanor and actions. While she acts abrasive, there's something else there!'

But... Nope. Spindlehorse has decided that she's literally just a bitch. And I can't help but feel like it's a bit of a wasted opportunity because, initially, there was room for something like 'oh, she's been trying to make this unhappy marriage somewhat presentable for the sake of duty but Stolas cheating on her has just caused her to say 'fuck it' but, no, she's always been violent and angry from birth. So... yay...

Also the thing with her cackling to her friends about 'all he does is lie there in bed, I have to do everything'.

Honey. Your husband is gay. Send for an incubus or some other prostitute to get him in the mood and then push them away for the main deed. Literally, you're rich!! There are ways to go about this, Stella!

Overall, this episode is a strong 7.5/10.

Also, I just remembered that someone on Twitter translated the pages that Stolas was reading during his song and they're roughly along the lines of a recipe for crystals that allow travel to the living world. So, oof, yeah: Stolas is thinking of ending the arrangement he has with Blitzo and its going to be interesting to see how that unfolds.

[lrandconkdors]

You know how anime usually have a packaged animation that they slowly run the ending credits over? Like, they just repeat this one song and dance with each episode and it's up to you to choose whether to let it run or not. Like, maybe you groove with it, maybe you cool down with it, maybe it clashes with the tone of the episode's last scene and you skip it, maybe it's just boring and you skip it. point is, they're not going to surprise you across the anime's run. But, what if they were... non-predictable? What if each iteration of the ED did its own thing?

Well, stop "what-if"ing. That literally just happened this fall. And I'm here to look back at each ED session and decide which I thought were cooler. The anime that dared to uproot convention like this is one that probably needs no introduction.

...actually, was Pop Team Season 2 that popular? I didn't know it was being made until it had already started. Either way, I don't feel like writing any more intro spiel.

D-tier

Episode 4 - the one where they make faces at each other

This is one of those classic Pop Team Epic absurdist moments where typical human concepts like "twist" or "punchline" are abandoned. The visual humor of watching them go off-model wears off once you realize they're looping back to reuse faces. But whereas this spurt of oddity lasted (I presume) for only four little panels in the original comic, the anime makes you gawk at them for 60 seconds before you can confirm that, yes, that's the whole skit. At least the rerun makes itself useful and decides to play outtake footage of a previous skit over the credits.

(No clue where to fit this into the summary but: Why are Popuko & Pipimi supplemented by chiptune noises that all acutely sound like SFX found in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga? M&L players, back me up.)

Episode 5 - upon which the anime's stock market value mysteriously drops

I enjoyed the company of Pop Team Epic B-side, one of the few aspects distinguishing this anime run from its original season, which acted out your ""ordinary"" PTE comedy, but replaced our ""heroines"" with lavishly animated bishonen counterparts. So, feelings were definitely felt when Pipihara informed Popuoka that their segment had, apparently, been cancelled. The latter responds by tossing a grenade at the conveniently nearby Takeshobo HQ, then looks back with a subdued smile, as the building explodes off-screen. The frame freezes on this visually arresting moment, and the credits sequence begins.

As a sad piano version of the ending song played and the screen slowly filled up with images of the boys' past moments (all five of them), I slowly succumbed to the realization that they probably weren't joking about the cancellation.

I saw B-side as the antithesis to the long reign of Bob Epic Team. By countering the uncanny off-model antics with unexpected off-brand sexiness, Pop Team Epic was instilled with balance. Seeing the new blood get sniped out of the sky, my chemistry with Bobunemimimmi dropped from tolerance to resentment. I no longer possess the moral high ground with which to point at people who complain about a network cancelling a cartoon they were rooting for while sustaining one they don't like.

Episode 9 - the one that got away

The last skit of Episode 9 opens on Popuko seemingly racing an R/C car - a very Popuko thing to partake in. But eventually, she runs out of stamina, so I guess she was only human after all. The ending music starts as the car drives off into the sunset, and then barely anything else happens until the chorus, which triggers a slideshow of the toy car visiting sites around the world. I feel like the bulk of this one's intrigue is trying to guess what this moment was like in the original comic. Maybe the whole travelogue sequence was adapted from one sole panel, for instance that panel could have been the image of Popuko receiving a post card we see at the end. Or maybe the anime crew made up that whole part, and it originally just ended on Popuko staring at the horizon.

C-tier

Episode 1 - the one thriving off of port priority

This scene is a bizarre cap off to a bizarre skit with a bizarre setup, bizarre punchline, and bizarre conclusion. It's also just a 60-second-long animated image that slowly zooms out. This may not be a great ED (they didn't even bother to upload this one to the official channel), but it's automatically a good first-episode ED, because it got to be the first to introduce my ears to the soulful triumph that is Nakayo Peas (is that what it's called? The English subtitles translates the song's refrain as "we're just two peas in a pod," but a later ED implies the ピース refers to 'peace,' and then I also saw an outside source that called it "Nakayopiece"...) I don't know of the comedy in Pipimi staring at a picture of herself pulling a super rare on her phone, while sitting at a window revealing the most beautiful ocean sunset of the anime season, but it sure does complement well with the wistful piano into techno breakdown of the ending theme.

No-Subject-tier

Episode 7 - the most bespoke scene of a man heading to the public restroom in anime history

This ending is hard to sort because a lot of the cool things about it are just an extension of the cool things about the episode itself. Episode 7 not only dedicates the entire 11 minutes to telling the story of Hellshake Yano's fall and comeback, but forgoes all animation and motion graphics in favor of recording two guys playing with notebooks using as few cuts as possible, with even the OP and ED using original sequences. If there's something the end credits have going exclusively for it, it's the way it handles the credits varying slightly between original and rerun. They shot two takes of the journey to the restroom, and in the second, a cut-up page is flipped over the cast list replacing the names accordingly.

██████-tier

Episode 11 - the one you've probably heard about already

So, have you seen the works of Kékéflipnote? That guy who draws the funny-cute animations of animals using an animation tool exclusive to a handheld gaming system? Well, someone at King Records clearly had, because we got an ending sequence depicting Pop & Pipi as Kéké's trademark blob-pigeons (among other creatures), engaging in Kéké's trademark buttery-smooth bouncy-dances, all the while presumably flipping the camera off. Furthering the homage, Nakayo Peas sports yet another rearrangement, peppered with synth arpeggios* which sound awfully similar to Robot Rock by Daft Punk, a track used in one of Kéké's more popular videos.

*Did I use either of these words properly here?

If you already know all this and have witnessed ED11 for yourself, you may be questioning why this isn't higher on the list. Well, while I acknowledge what an insane crossover of worlds this was, I also have this petty annoyance with its execution. I just personally think that maybe they shouldn't have sunk all that time and talent into one joke if they were just going to, y'know, censor it out of existence?

By combining the time-forged wholesome aes of funny baguette Flipnote guy with the vulgar slant of kuso manga/anime, this animation holds the potential to revitalize the shock the world originally felt upon witnessing the sight of two (vaguely) moe school girls 🖕🏻deucing🖕🏻 the camera with comically large, anatomically menacing hands. Also, I heard a claim that the ending song's cryptic lyrics about "a game you can play with your fingers" is a disguised reference to the Gesture, so if true, this animation is very in sync with its BGM. But this show should know well that Japanese television broadcasters have feelings about deuces.

They should also know well that said feelings don't extend very far beyond overlaying a dinky pixel effect that doesn't leave much up to imagination. So why, then, did the animator decide to instead erect giant black boxes that cover their entire arms? Besides the opinion that that's distracting, there's the fact that anything could be behind these boxes. Consider the following: do Popu-ké and Pipi-geon have KKFNesque, doodly thin arms? Or do they follow the PPTP way and use hyperrealistic human digits? What if they're not doing that at all? Maybe the birbs have nipples and that was what had to be ██████ed? What if the animals are, uhhh, are waving dildos around? And how would any of the above apply to a snake? I Guess We'll Never Know!!

I remember staring at the screen in disbelief, solemnly waiting for the credits to confirm that, yes, they did get the real Kékéflip to animate this bit. All that I could think about was how people all over the web would be talking about how cool it was that this happened, and how no one would feel the same way I did. I kept thinking about it, past the setting of the sun and into the next day. Whenever my mind wandered, I would hear the war chant set in again: Nakayo peeeeeeeaaaas, nakayo peeeeas, peeeeas, pi-pi- peas... I have used this word frequently in my life, but considering the place it mentally put me in, 仲良ピース （Ｄａｎｃｅ Ｒｏｃｋ Ｍｉｘ） is most deserving of the term "Cursed."

Also, this anime partnering with a French animator reminds me that the JAPON MiGNON segment wasn't able to return this season, which by extension reminds me that its "replacement" Pop Team B-side died an early death GRAAAAFLKGJHDSK

B-tier

Episode 2 - The calm after a storm

This ending caps off episode 2's main story, which places the girls into a giant robot battle for the future of the anime or something like that. Not much visually to write home about, but for a one-use sequence to a parody of a mecha-drama, there could be a lot less. If this were the full-time ending to a real series, I would still respect the seq showing the internals of Biggus McHugeGuy for its unique-while-still-animation-efficient-ness. The music is also tasteful, starting minimalistic and letting the wistful vocals shine, before giving way to dauntless guitar riffing. Though, when I first watched this, my reaction was more like, "It's acoustic now?? But I was looking forward to the cool techno breakdown!"

Episode 12 - wake up babe, Shouta Aoi exercises are starting

So, uh, the season finale, am I right? They just... directed an entire late-game episode of a practically imaginary live-action tokusatsu series. And just when you've forgotten what you came for, and gotten unironically invested in the world of Endless L.O.V.E., the show leans over and mutters, "On your left." And then out of nowhere, an entire horde of Popukos and Pipimis from across the season's run show up to help our heroes (heralded by a triumphant marching band performace of Pop Team Epic's original theme song)! It was the most legendary moment of the anime season... up until they actually started battling, at which point the anime, in one final act of trolling the audience, elects to merely move around stiff .SVGs of the characters knocking a bunch of enemy mooks around, with "eco-friendly anime 😋" printed at the top of the screen.

Thankfully, after all was said and done, the final end roll, in its own way, did the concept a little more justice. Similar to the last episode of Season 1, Shouta Aoi takes the spotlight and does a little song and dance, but this time, he is backed up by (multiple variations of) Popuko and Pipimi, and they're actually animated this time! Hands down, Aoi Shouta Taisou is the most wholesome display to come out of this 4-D prank of an anime. It even takes its idea to a clever conclusion by including designs for Pop+Pipi never before seen - to Shouta Aoi's bewilderment.

Episode 3 - Pop Team Epic will become real in three minutes.

In this one, two mascot costumes of Popuko and Pipimi take a tour of King Records' building. It's demonstrated that Popuko is such an aggresive gal that even her hairdo can't traverse a closed space without getting in a standoff against any bypassers or protusions in the wall.

When I saw this ED, I was under the conception that this was going to be the ED for the season proper, with the first two being special exceptions. (Specifically, various anime hide away their proper OP or ED on the first episode, and episode 2 was clearly a one-off for the bit - imagine Kaguya-sama's first season, but if the special Chika ED was placed even earlier.) And I was completely fine with that. This sequence may not be at the top of this list, but if each of these entries had an entire season each to reign over, things would be different. It's unique and charming enough to be repeatedly entertaining (at least moreso than last season's Poppy Pappy Day), but not so weird and specific that it becomes exhausting.

I missed this when I first watched the episode, but the rerun features totally different footage, of the two visiting Takeshobo instead. Personally more of a fan of the female vocal version, it has a better excitement curve.

Episode 8 - the one where... where the... the..when..... uhhhhhm...

I mean, it's certainly, uhhh... the mixed media is so mixed that it... there are copious amounts of untranslated text, which... the arrangement...bass slaps surprisingly... every chord is somehow the wrong one, creating a sense of... 90% of the footage is different between versions, tricking me into a false Mandela effect..... HOT CAT.

Okay, as much as I want to talk about this one, it's a lot harder since I have no idea what I'm looking at. Like, this must be a homage to something like with ED11, right? there's no way a PTE staff member just felt like making it look specifically Like That, with no precedent. I wish I knew of the context (or at least could read all the on-screen text), because I do not know how to thread my thoughts on this otherwise. It trippy.

A-tier

Episode 10 - the reveal that nature is healing

The tenth ending uses a series of watercolor murals to depict the duo fooling around in some savanna - amongst a gaggle of fauna that prove Okawa bkub's iconic eyes have the potential to make for some freakin' cute critters, and not just the ugly-cute critters that are our protags. Its ending theme, which is now more relaxed than it already was, obtaining the aspect of a lazy river when the original already felt like waves rippling on a beach shore, is arguably the least necessary rearrangement of the bunch, but I'm not complaining.

But of course, there's something more about this safari that made me put it so high up. What's the first animal you see in it? An otter with a duplicitous grin. It looks just like the one in a skit from this very episode! And after that? There's Unyumaru, the thingy also featured earlier! And this jungle setting in general... it's clearly connecting to the nature documentary that centers the episode's Pop Team Story! (Said story kind of loses interest in the "let's import some hyenas with Popuko eyes before this ecosystem collapses in on itself" plot and turns into some sort of quiz parody instead, so it's nice to see how the biome has been doing since.)

Whereas every other credits sequence is connected to whatever came directly before it (like the 2nd), or welded onto the last skit of the ep (like #4), or it just does its own thing (like 8), End-roll № 10 has the innovative idea to draw from the events of its respective episode. And by innovative, I mean that a similar effect can be peeped in multiple video game credit sequences, and the endings of every other animated feature film ever. and probably also a handful of anime that ended their runs. But not one that ended a random one of its episodes! Episode 10 capitalizes on Season 2's unique ED format in a way that the others don't quite, creating a cute moment that isn't just "The credits that roll during skit ��" or "The experimental short played at the end of Episode 𝒚," but truly "The Credits Sequence of PTE2 Episode 10."

Episode 6 - the one Peer Gynt was afraid to diss

My opinion on which ED is my fave flip-flops between the previously discussed and this about-to-be-discussed. But, if asked this question in public, I would find explaining the appeal of essentially four image pans inefficient compared to presenting the comedy gold that is Ending 6.

All cards on the table, I love the animations of Asami Ike. She's only responsible for three bits across both seasons, but they were so revolutionary that I failed to notice there were only three before I was handed her Sakugabooru page. (Mini ranking, why not: this, then the shark short from season 1, and then the giraffe short at the top🦒)

And I love how hard the components of this scene devote themselves to the comedic timing. We get thirty seconds of Popuko acting like she's about to spit fire in the booth, before pulling up a flute, and then just as the song is about to hit the bass- the music cuts off. The art style shifts. The background turns bright yellow. Popuko absolutely holds onto this one note. She seems to get less on-model with each passing frame. The on-screen credits have gone completely scarce in this credits sequence. And then these little dudes crawl out of a hole in the ground and start throwing it back?? (Special shout-out to the official subs for not giving away the switch: the usual "just two peas in a pod" line is displayed in full, for all of one second. it would have been more honest to type only as much as, say, "We're just two--" but honesty wouldn't be as funny here.) The raw power of this bit's execution becomes a lot more impressive if you see the strip it was based on:

Wow!! That's not funny at all! The boys clearly put an insane amount of elbow grease into transforming this pile of ink and screentones into a brand new legend! If you think about it, the whole ethos of this anime series is based in striving to put a bit too much Time and Effort into adapting the world's most nonsensical manga. It's motivational, kinda.

Okay, goodnight, folks!

Originally, I was going to be stumped as to what to write at the end of this, but... you know, every time I came back to this listicle of a post in my drafts, I would see the visage of one miss Makima, backlit by the heavens.

I feel like there's a higher-than-usual chance my fakeout opening actually worked. Up to and during the time Pop Team was once more on air, I was seeing this woman's visage all over the place. Not so much for the girls. If you were to move a few strings of circumstance, I may simply have never found out that PTE was back. When Poptepipic was first unleashed upon television, it was unlike anything man had seen before. But when it received a second wave, its quirks were just what we expected from the famous 'kuso-anime.' PTE2 didn't do very much to subvert expectations. Maybe that's why this run didn't make as many waves. There were, like, how many new elements in this season? You had B-Side, whose fate I've already gone at length about. There was the way each episode had a collab with Square Enix or some sort of advertisement.. the episode previews for a nonexistent anime were replaced with voice actors chattering.. The most ambitious season 2 got was the two episodes they offered up entirely to a single bit each. (I feel like Gal and Dino did a better job of being a Pop Team Epic 2, or at least a cooler one.) This is why I hold the EDs so dearly - it was a mechanic that broke from both its predecessor and from general anime convention. What a shame that they ended up unveiling this the same season that a more popular anime pulled the same stunt but slightly better.

...Anyways, see you in six months when I post a ranking of Chainsaw Man's EDs, and go on a tangent about how your favorite artistic collaboration filled me with existential horror!

[crehador]

last batch of parting thoughts for winter 2023

high card: fun concept and stellar final episode, but the bulk of the season was a bit of a slog for me personally. it wasn’t bad per se but the team dynamics often didn’t appeal to me and sometimes felt a bit forced/over-manufactured. didn’t help that the focus was mainly on chris and finn throughout the first season and i just... did not... really care too much about them, like i didn’t dislike them but ehhhhhh. the last ep was definitely interesting enough to get s2 on my planning though, WHAT IS UP WITH TILT I WANT TO KNOW HIS STORY HE WAS BARELY IN THE FIRST SEASON BUT HE GOT AN OMANJUU WITH THE MAIN CREW LOL

tvdint s2: EAGERLY AWAITING S3 just like s1 there were some bits that were misses for me but i’d say it’s like an 85% hit 15% miss ratio, which is fantastic for a comedy. the final kotatsu games bit of this season was so so so good, though i think the one that made me laugh the hardest this season was the getting stuck in that fake train station bit (also really enjoyed the misadventures of “tsujita” and his himbo boyfriend that one hunter)

cool doji danshi: well i think it’s obvious how i feel about this one lmao i loved it thoroughly and want it to never end (haven’t actually watched the last ep yet but it’ll be over far too soon!)

this one just feels so special because there are plenty of soothing cbdct series with a similar vibe but typically those are high schoolers (kimi to boku, tanaka-kun, gakuen babysitters, tsuritama to a certain extent) and i enjoy all those (especially kimi to boku) but it’s nice to see a friend group like the cool doji boys, who come from different walks and stages of life

anyway to fill the cool doji void, kimi to boku and rokuhoudou yotsuiro biyori are my top recs for similarly soothing shows (special emphasis on rokuhoudou because it’s the rare cbdct series with a cast of grown men and definitely deserves more love)

[aliceisathome]

Love Stage!! Episode 7 was DELIGHTFUL.  We had our second couple confirmed and a rather cute sequence of big brother trying to menace Ryu behind Anda’s back whilst being unable to resist being sweet with his own faen. 

Then a DOUBLE SEX SCENE - both good but Ryu/Anda felt more convincing and their chemistry is off the charts obviously.  Those brothers both like a neck grab don’t they?  

Turbo gives really good sex face (If you know what I mean and what I mean is that he looks like he’s definitely enjoying what’s going on).  

Note:  Kaownah looks massive in this - he’s clearly bulked up a bit since Tharntype and he’s a lot bigger than Turbo. In TT though he managed to appear much slighter and shorter then which worked for the Lhong character.  I just checked and he’s as tall as Tharn and only a cm or so off of Type but he slouches and ducks his head and acts, well, smaller.  Clever boy. 

I’m enjoying this so much more than I anticipated.  *happy sigh*

[poguesofthebau]

paranoia

summary: meeting dylan einstein, a genius forensic scientist from indianapolis, musters up some unknown insecurities about your relationship with reid. however, morgan-- and reid, once he figures it out-- isn’t willing to let you think that way. warnings: mentions of bombings (as pertaining to the case)

word count: 3k pairing: spencer reid x female!bau!reader

a/n: set in season 10, episode 14, this one was requested by @koc-help! as per usual, it took me forever to write, so i hope you can forgive me for that and enjoy what i came up with!! 

bombing cases were stressful. it always seemed harder for you; figuring out a motive, pushing down the overwhelming sympathy for the victims, convincing yourself that all of your team members were safe. because of your unshakable paranoia in the wake of those cases, you were already on edge by the time the team was boarding the jet to indianapolis. and, of course, spencer caught on to the way you were feeling almost immediately.

with the limited information the team had at that point, conversation about the case was reasonably brief. the file was reviewed and discussed, and hotch delegated a role for everyone to take when the jet landed. when the conversation came to a lull, you slid out of your seat, tossing the manilla folder onto the leather before moving to the back of the jet to make a cup of coffee. jj and derek’s voices were audible as they continued to spitball off of each other, masking the sound of spencer approaching where you stood. “hey,” he called to you as he neared. having been enveloped in the chatter your other friends were creating, you jumped at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. when you looked up at him, his eyebrows were raised in concern at your reaction, immediately making you recoil into yourself. “you okay?”

“yeah,” you breathed, pulling the coffee pot out of its place to pour the liquid into your empty cup. “i’m fine.”

“that’s not very convincing, you know.” you turned to face him then, sighing and internally shaking the dread away. “what is it?”

“i’m not a huge fan of bombings,” you said sarcastically. spencer scoffed a laugh at that, reaching out to tuck a stray hair behind your ear as you continued with a bit more seriousness. “just a little worried. it’s nothing, spence.”

“i’m not used to seeing you worried in this way. are you sure you’re okay? i mean, do you want to talk about it?”

the soft-spoken concern in spencer’s tone along with the expression he was looking at you with warmed your heart. if there was one thing that could take your mind off of a murderous bomber, it was spencer. your eyes flickered over to the rest of the team, making sure no one was paying any attention to you and your boyfriend huddled up in the back of the jet, before you leaned up and pressed your mouth to spencer’s. the kiss was quick, but it was also just the reassurance that you both needed. “i promise, i’ll tell you if i need to talk. for now, i just want to get this son of a bitch and go back home.”

being present for the disarming of the second bomb only worsened your initial paranoia. the thought of an explosive device made you anxious enough; having to stand your ground and comfort an intended victim while a bomb was armed less than a foot from you was a whole new feeling. you trusted morgan to clip a wire without killing you, but the adrenaline in the heat of the moment was hard to shake. it had been a few hours since the scene had unfolded, but you still felt like your heart could possibly jump out of your chest at any moment the morning after the disarming. despite the underlying terror running through your veins, you were critically analyzing everything going on around you. your focus was completely dedicated to the case unfolding around you, because the sooner you cracked it, the sooner your thinly veiled fear would dissipate.

you were digging around in the bed of the pickup truck while einstein, the local forensic scientist, examined the bomb itself. out of your peripherals you saw reid and morgan approaching, but the bulk of your energy was going into analyzing the scene as best you could. your boyfriend’s eyes lingered on you for a few seconds as he neared, immediately gauging the nerves you were trying so hard to conceal. reid made a mental note to address that as soon as he could get you alone, but fought the urge to do so right then. spencer knew you well enough to know that, no matter how freaked out you currently were, your mind was concentrating on the scene before you, and anything else would simply be considered a distraction. he swallowed down the lump in his throat that formed at the thought of not being able to help you before tuning in to the comment einstein began to make. “he really went for a bigger boom this time.”

the short conversation that ensued between the two following that comment was something that shouldn’t have bothered you. you knew it meant nothing; reid wasn’t the only genius in the world who memorized excerpts from anarchy cookbooks or mathematical theories. just because some young, brilliant, beautiful girl knew the same book as spencer didn’t mean you had anything to worry about.

nonetheless, you became very worried about it.

you strolled around to the passenger side of the truck, sliding into the empty seat with a quizzical look on your face. “you know, it’s a wonder that he even realized he triggered the bomb.”

opening the driver’s side door as he spoke, reid slid into the truck next to you. “maybe he heard something when he stepped on the pedal.”

“and knew not to move? i mean, what’s this guy got, an ex-paramilitary background we don’t know about?”

the back and forth continued a few more times, and within a minute you and reid had developed the idea that allen archer, the bomb’s target, could potentially be your unsub. upon this conclusion, einstein spoke up again. “that’s what you guys do. you just talk a lot.” her voice was joking as the words left her lips, and a bright smile graced her face as she spoke. regardless of the playful tone you immediately identified, the words triggered something in you.

“well, there’s also a lot of kicking down doors involved,” morgan interjected from outside the passenger door, shaking you out of your internally-mortified state. you watched as einstein announced her departure then, mustering up a measly close-lipped smile in return to the courteous and friendly glance she offered you before leaving.

as she walked away, her words repeated in your mind. it was so simple for her to summarize; you just talk a lot. a woman so young and so intelligent had just condensed your entire career into a five-word sentence so simple that you couldn’t even disagree. was that truly all you were capable of? talking? bouncing ideas off of your coworkers’ ideas and hoping you’d end up catching the killer that way?

you spent the rest of the day arguing with yourself. in all honesty, your own inner monologue was starting to get on your nerves. despite your most sincere attempts to focus on the case in front of you, you couldn’t shake the feeling that  einstein was right. and maybe she was-- maybe your job was nothing compared to hers, and maybe she was a better match for spencer than you could ever dream of being.

this new uncertainty of your career and relationship definitely didn’t help to settle your previously established fear of being blown up at any given moment.

given the circumstances, it was only a matter of time until someone on your team noticed how uneasy you were steadily growing. they knew you. you were y/n-- sometimes stubborn, oftentimes overprotective, and always capable. sure, you had off days at work, just like everyone else. you weren’t always the one to solve the case, but you were always present and attentive, engaged in the investigation with your mind and body. however, right now, your mind was in two places at once. for that reason, you weren’t surprised in the slightest when morgan approached you at the station.

as you walked toward the conference room to find hotch, you were stopped by the familiar voice calling out. “hey, hold on little lady.”

“what’s up, morgan?”

morgan shook his head at that, a knowing look crossing his features as he began to speak. “nuh-uh. what up with you, y/l/n?” you threw him a falsely quizzical look, trying (and failing) to get him off your back by playing dumb. sadly for you, morgan was too good of a profiler and friend to fall for it. “don’t play with me, girl. i know cases like this always get to you a little, but i also know how badass you are. normally you would’ve bounced back from our brush with death by now, so what’s the problem?”

you squinted at him as your face morphed into dismay. of course you couldn’t fool morgan. your mind flickered to penelope, suddenly relating to one of her more commonly made complaints: damn profilers. “my first problem is that you might know me a little too well.” derek scoffed at that, waiting for you to continue. “my second problem? well, my second problem might be that i’m not smart enough, or maybe that spencer is too good for me, or maybe that our job is too easy, or maybe--”

“woah, woah, woah. slow your roll, little missy. ‘spencer is too good for me?’ where’s that coming from?” you blinked slowly in response, not quite willing to give up any more information than you already had. “fine-- i’ll figure it out myself. let’s see: you’ve been acting weird since we got this case, but that’s not what this is about. i’ve seen you on bombing cases before, and this ain’t that. so... oh, i know. is this about a forensic scientist, maybe? maybe one who has the same name as a very smart, very famous--”

“okay, morgan. i get it. you’re a great profiler, and you know my thoughts better than i do. that doesn’t really change the way i’m feeling right now.” your tone was a little sharp, but the look in your eyes was a mixture of sadness and contempt. “and, in case you needed me to put it simply, i’m feeling like shit.”

a look of pity overtook morgan for a moment. he knew what you were going through. sure, he wasn’t dating a genius with an iq of 187, but he knew how it felt to doubt yourself, and especially how it felt to feel belittled for your work. “y/n,” he said, placing his hands on your shoulders and crouching a little to get on eye-level with you. “don’t do that to yourself, kid. don’t forget how hard what we do is, and how important it is. you save lives every day. no matter how you do it, or how much brainpower it takes, there are people all around this world who are alive because of your work. whether they admit it or not, everyone has respect for that. especially our resident pretty boy.”

“i know, morgan,” you sighed. his hands slid from your shoulders as you finally gave in, looking him straight in the eye as you spoke. “sometimes it just feels like he deserves better.”

“just because it feels that way doesn’t mean it’s true. and i can promise you, reid has never felt that way. not about you.” after giving a comforting pat on the arm to go along with his final words, morgan was walking away.

damn profilers, you thought again. why are we always right?

before you got the chance to speak with reid, the team was off again. instead of splitting up this time, you were simply spreading out; hotch and rossi were scouring the crowd of civilians and news crews at the staged ceremony for allen archer, and the rest of you were divided into two suvs with morgan and kate in one and you, jj, and spencer in the other. your talk with morgan had lifted your spirits a bit, but there was still a tightness in the air as you sat beside your seemingly clueless boyfriend.

unbeknownst to you, spencer wasn’t all that clueless. not only had he caught on to your behavior long before anyone else on the team, but he’d also spotted you and morgan’s secretive moment from across the police station. (and, yes, morgan may have whispered “check on your girl” to spencer when you weren’t paying attention. he just wanted to help.) so, while you thought he was in the dark about your current insecurities, reid was very much aware of what was going on in your head. as much as he hated it, though, he was hesitant to acknowledge it with jj in the backseat and the rest of the team on comms. so, like the considerate boyfriend he was, he waited.

it wasn’t until you got back to the police station that spencer got the chance to catch you alone. everyone else was busy preparing to leave for the jet, the bustle of having solved yet another case causing an uplifting distraction for the team. while your friends were distracted, spencer grabbed you by the hand and pulled you into a nearby empty conference room. the surprise on your face was evident when he looked at you, and he couldn’t help but smile. you laughed nervously at his expression, not completely sure what he had taken you aside for. “hi, spence. you okay?”

“i was actually going to ask you the same thing,” he admitted. “except, i already asked you that once during this case, and you weren’t very willing to share, so i was going to approach it in a more insistent way.” although you were amused by this mysterious behavior of his, you were still confused about what exactly spencer was implying that he knew. “did you really think i wouldn’t notice that you were upset?”

“no,” you said unconvincingly.

“y/n, why won’t you just talk to me?” the desperation in his voice almost shattered your heart. the whole time that you’d been in your own head, spencer had been in his. all because you were scared to talk to the one person you trusted more than anyone in the world.

“i’m sorry,” you breathed, taking a step toward him. spencer’s right hand slid around your waist once you got close enough, and your forehead dropped onto his chest as you sighed. when you looked back up to him, spencer was already anticipating eye contact. “i’m sorry i didn’t say anything. i just didn’t want to worry you, or to make you feel like you’d done anything wrong, because it’s not your fault, i just-- i don’t ever want to feel like i’m holding you back.”

“holding me back from what? you could never hold me back.”

“i could, though! you’re this amazingly brilliant genius, and there are so many people out there who are so much smarter than me, and i--”

“is that what this is about? you think you’re not smart?” you felt his hand tense from its place on your lower back, his disbelief clear in his voice.

“no, no-- i mean, i know i’m smart enough. but sometimes when we have cases like this we meet some really, really smart people, and i can’t help but wonder if you would be better off with someone on your intellectual level. someone like einstein.”

“y/n,” spencer seemed stunned at this revelation, and you realized then that morgan had been right. the idea of you not being enough had never crossed spencer’s mind. “you are the person that i’m better off with. you. i don’t-- i’ve never even thought of anyone else as a possibility since i met you. there isn’t anyone else. i mean, before i knew you, i wasn’t even sure that i believed in love at all. the only reason that i know it’s real now is because of you. i can’t think of any statistics of mathematical theories or scientific discoveries to explain or defend it, but i have always known that there isn’t anything for me aside from you. i mean that. no matter how smart anyone else is, or how cool anyone else is, or how compatible anyone else’s intellect is with mine. i love you, y/n.”

and, just like that, your fears were gone. your inner monologue went silent, and the serenity that spencer’s words brought you washed over your entire body. spencer’s arm tightened around your waist, pulling you closer into him. his free hand moved to the side of your face, brushing back your hair as he waited for you to reply. the anticipation on his face sent another rush of absolute love through you, and you quickly closed the gap between you. as your mouth met his, your hands found their way to the sides of his neck, slowly wrapping around until they were laced together behind his head. for what could’ve been an hour, you stood there, melting into spencer as his words of reassurance replaced the chants of uncertainty that had filled your head hours prior. you were forced to pull back from him eventually, but even then your hands remained around his neck and the distance between your faces was minimal as you reopened your eyes. “i love you.”

a knock on the door suddenly interrupted the moment, causing you to release each other as a third party entered the room: morgan. “hey, lovebirds,” he grinned. “nice to see that you’re back to normal. it’s time to head home.” you smiled knowingly at the man, lacing your fingers through reid’s as you followed morgan out of the room. grabbing your belongings on the way out, the three of you headed toward your designated suv, where jj was waiting patiently in the driver’s seat. “so, you finally confessed, huh?”

“of course i did,” you laughed. “no secrets in this relationship.”

“yeah, and i would’ve figured it out eventually anyway.” at spencer’s interjection, it was morgan’s turn to laugh.

“oh, yeah, 187?”

“he is a genius, you know,” you added smugly.

“well, apparently so am i, because i figured it out before he did. oh, and by the way, pretty girl, i told you.” and with that, morgan was jogging off (in a fit of giggles) to the suv, hopping in the passenger seat before you had a chance to jokingly scold him.

damn profilers.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Circe Invidiosa

Circe Invidiosa has 11 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files stories at her website. Some of my favs I’ve recced here before, like Make It Worse and Slap a Goatee On Me and Call Me Evil. She also made a bunch of X-Files collage art, including some cover art for fics (hers and others), which you probably saw if you were reading fic back when authors posted fics on their own websites where art could be shared. Big thanks to Circe Invidiosa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Well, it would surprise me if people did read my fic. As it happens, I don't hear much feedback from my fic these days. Probably because the bulk of it is on Gossamer and my own site rather than AO3. Also, I was never a BNA. I worked a lot behind the scenes – hosting other authors' sites and making fanart and dustjackets. I think that's what I'd be remembered for, if anything.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience?

I miss the collective excitement and discussions we had as groups. When you got in with a group in the XF fandom, you felt like you knew everybody there. Now the fandom feels a little faceless except for the people I still follow from my old groups.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Most of my experience was on Yahoo Groups. I joined Scullyfic while it was still there and then E-muse when it became an e-mail list, which I'm still a part of. I was part of several Yahoo Groups (can't remember all of them now), where I'd post my fic, RealPlayer slideshows (remember those?!), and collages. I never really took part in discourse because I'm shy and don't think anyone cares about my opinions (still don't!). The e-mail address I used for those groups was purged a couple of years ago, so I've lost all those messages.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

My take away is that fanfic made me a better writer, thanks to having some great betas, and it made me a better professional writer for it (my real-life work is writing but not fun writing) because I learned to take criticism.

I also used to make a lot of fanart, collages and dustjackets for fic mostly. My big take away from that was that I really got into graphics and I got super proficient at Photoshop, which helped my own artistic endeavours and photography. I didn't realize how much skill I had developed until I've had to help someone with their graphics or photo editing.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

My mother was watching X-Files before I was and she was raving about it. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but one thing she was usually right about was TV shows. It's where I got my love of Sci-Fi.

I think the first episode I watched was Ice, which definitely hooked me. As for when the shipping started, I remember we were watching Lazarus, and when Mulder was yelling at Lula (I had to look that up) about hurting the hostage Scully, my mom said, "Oh, he's so in love with her." And I was all, "What?! Pfff." But then I could not stop thinking about it. And then I thought about it way, way too much.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I was in my late 20s, and it was around the end of S7 and I kept thinking about what if these two dumb idiots actually talked one day. And I kept thinking about dialogue in my head about what they'd actually say. The internet was still in its infancy back then, but I'd seen fan sites here and there. So I decided to search around to see if other people were talking about it and thinking about it like I was. I was such a noob I'd never even heard of fanfic. Imagine my delight when I discovered it. I found a few stories and thought, 'Well, I can do that.' And I wrote up my first story, found a place to post it (wasn't Ephemeral the best?), got some kind feedback, found a really nice person (not sure she wants to be named since she used her real name in the fandom back in the day) who encouraged me a lot and directed me to all the e-mail lists and Yahoo Groups that I needed to be on, and then, Bob's your uncle, I wrote more and more.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Periphery. Most of my experience in any fandom is now on Tumblr because that's where my attention span is. Show me pretty pictures and funny stuff. I am old now and don't want to think hard.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Veronica Mars was my next fandom experience. A number of my XF friends got me hooked on VM. The VM fandom was a LOT younger compared to the XF fandom. When I joined the XF fandom, I was the kid compared to most of the other fans who were all goddesses and royalty in my eyes. But in the VM fandom, I was in my 30s and the rest of the fandom were all in their early 20s if not younger. It often showed, so I stayed out of discussions and just posted my fic once I started writing it. I took a new handle (invida) when I started writing VM fic. Just in case these kids felt like my writing sucked, I didn't want it getting back to the XF fandom that I’d branched out and failed spectacularly.

By then fandom experiences had moved over to LiveJournal. I never really got involved in the discourse or the fandom fights. I knew what people were saying and where the schisms were, but I was all about the fanfic and the pretty pictures. Most of my LJ friends just discussed the episodes and posted their fic and that was good with me.

What got me writing fic for VM was Anjou's brilliant VM fic Into the Blue. Seriously, if you love VM S1, read her fic. Just so beautiful.

VM was also where started writing a WIP, which was a wild trip. I wrote a much-loved WIP called Damn, Damn the Circumstance which people still ask me about finishing to this day. Someday…*wistful sighs*

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Scully. She was everything! Lapsed Catholic, degrees in science, skeptic, always trying to work within the rules but still not taking crap. Yeah, she was the best.

Veronica Mars was great until she wasn't. I have a lot of issues with her beyond S2. And don't even talk to me about S4. For me, S1 was the best, I enjoyed the movie, the books were okay, but nothing else happened after that. NOTHING.

And the first character I ever loved was Princess Leia. She was also everything to me growing up. I wanted to be her. I still do.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Now and then. Not as much as I used to. I sometimes have it on in the background when I'm doing other things. Back before the pandemic, my BFF and I would have get togethers where we would play Scrabble, eat a lot of candy, and binge several XF episodes. I miss doing that. Hopefully, we will get back to that soon.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I am not an active XF fanfic reader right now. I will read any stories my friends put out. Otherwise, I only occasionally read some I come across on Tumblr in my feed, but I am not seeking them out. I will beta for any XF author who asks me as well.

I am reading fic in other fandoms though – Endeavour, Broadchurch, Sherlock…huh, I'm just realizing that's a lot of British stuff. I have been really into British detective series for the last few years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I used to run an XF fic recommendation site called How Will It End usually with at least one other person (I went through at least 4 partners on that project because I'm a control freak). We'd compile our recs and then I'd post them on my site. We'd also feature authors we really liked and interview them. Not unlike these interviews!

I'm terrible at giving feedback/comments. So I solved that problem by making a rec site. That way I could tell authors I loved their fics by recommending them. I didn't have to comment, I'd just say, 'I'd like to rec your fic'. And then they'd get promotion. Win-win. Back in those days, the fandom would absolutely roast you for promoting your own fic, so to get on a rec site was a big deal. Not that I had a popular rec site or anything. But I think authors really enjoyed being asked.

All that to say I've liked a lot of fics. I can pull up the archives of HWIE and show you all the faves I liked. :)

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Back in the day, E-muse would hold Improv Challenges, where other members would give you a prompt that you had to include in your fic. I was always really proud of the stories I created from those challenges (No Earthly Means and Elephant in the Room if you want to read them).

I enjoyed writing Dead to Rights which is an XF/Dead Like Me crossover because I loved the challenge of writing a crossover. It was the first crossover I ever tried writing even though I only recently published it.

Otherwise, I like re-reading In a Graveyard, Importuning Life for Life, and Some By Virtue Fall. Of my more recent fic, I like Slap a Goatee on Me and Call Me Evil because the premise was ridiculous and I think it's funny as all get out.

Probably my favourite of my VM fic was Stay Outta Riverdale. Because: 1. The title is a Simpsons reference who doesn't love a Simpsons reference? And 2. I think I was hilarious throughout it.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I'm always open to writing more fic (and, of course, I don't mean my WIPs…don't look at me like that). Lately, my only motivation has been from writing prompts on Tumblr. I haven't had anyone give me a prompt in over a year, so here we are. I have snippets of dialogue in journals and word documents that have never found their way into stories. I'd be happy to dust off any of those and shoehorn them into a new story.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

The last fanfic I wrote was a mini-fic over a year ago (with a prompt from Lilydale!). I've written a bit of original fiction but I haven't been able to finish it. Otherwise, I do have a number of real life hobbies which are where my creative outlets lie now.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Lately, challenges and prompts. It used to be from wanting to see more from a scene. I really had a thing for fill-in-the-blanks or scene continuations. And sometimes my motivation is just plain old spite. :)

What's the story behind your pen name?

Circe Invidiosa is the title of a painting by John William Waterhouse. Love the colours and the absolute malice on the face of the subject. It felt like a good pen name – the envious witch. That's me!

I chose it when I posted my first XF fic (which I cringe to read now, ugh so terrible) without knowing there was already a Circe in the fandom. Whoops. I tried to go by the full Circe Invidiosa or Invidiosa as much as possible after realizing that (invidiosa is my url and my username on a lot of sites, etc.). Now I think that I've been around long enough that it doesn't matter as much but I still like it.

As I said, I took the name Invida for the VM fandom which is just a shortening of Invidiosa.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My significant other knows and that was quite a reveal (oh how awkward). However, the SO has been very supportive and has read all my stories since the reveal and sometimes betas them. The SO also wants us to collaborate on writing some original fiction but we haven't found a project that works for both of us creatively or timewise.

My BFF knows because I dragged her into the online fandom. We've known each other since we were 14, but our love of XF really solidified our bond in our 20s. She wrote some short but sweet fics under the penname Helen Quilley which I bullied her into posting, and we wrote Of Ladies Most Deject and Wretched together. She is mostly embarrassed that she wrote fanfic now but we still fangirl together.

No one else really knows other than fandom folks I've met in real life. And some friends know I've written 'short stories' but I don't elaborate. I work in a stodgy, uptight industry where anything fun or actually having a life is frowned upon.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Over the first lockdown, I got my shit together and got my fic site, invidiosa.com, up and running again. My site houses fic by Rain (now @doctorhelena on Tumblr and AO3), Helen Quilley, ML (who I miss so much), Folieadeux, Shelba, TLynn, Oracle, Piper Sargasso, Diehard, and me. And I made all their dustjackets (except Folie's). The site got hacked a few years back and it was so much work to get running again that I put it off for years and years. I still feel terrible that I did not get the site back up before ML passed away, especially when ML had asked me about it a few months before she passed.

Anyway, all my XF fic is here: circe.invidiosa.com. I have 3 of my newer XF stories on AO3. And my fic-LJ also has some of my stories. Some of the newer stories are on Tumblr but the tagging is so erratic that I'd have to list several tags before you'd find them all. I don't know why I haven't moved everything over to AO3. Probably laziness.

I'm @invidiosa on Tumblr. I'm still on E-muse. I'm still on LJ. I'm always reachable by e-mail (invidiosa at gmail).

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Thanks for reading, writing, and commenting. It is always appreciated.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 5, 2021)

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 72 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 61 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 61 responses

Unlike the last couple of weeks, this episode brought in a higher amount of 5-star rankings, indicating the episode was overall well received. 

crazy intense crazy edge of seat 

10/10

It was too short. I need more. Can't wait for the next episode❤️

WHICH MOMENT AT LEVI AND ZEKE’S LOCATION WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 61 responses

There were many focuses this episode, so we opted to split up the favorite moments into a few separate parts. Though Levi and Zeke’s scenes didn’t talk up the bulk of the episode, they were still prominent. 60.7% most enjoyed watching as Levi agonized over the deaths of his comrades after hearing Eren had escaped from prison, doubting whether the deaths had meaning or not in the end. Far behind that, at 16.4%, was Zeke and Levi’s banter about whether or not Levi is popular. 9.8% were happy to get the story about what happened to Connie’s village back in episode 26.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING FALCO, GABI, THE BLOUSE FAMILY AND NICOLO WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 61 responses

When it came to the moments where Gabi, Falco and the others were the main focus, the fandom (at 41%) most appreciated the moment where Sasha’s father talks about why he believes Sasha died, choosing not to punish Gabi for her misdeed. 23%, on the other hand, were happy to see Nicolo reveal the truth about Gabi to the Blouse family as he held Falco hostage. 13.1% enjoyed the altercation between Gabi, Falco and Nicolo beforehand. 11.5% enjoyed the overall tension between Nicolo and Gabi arguing over the circumstances of Sasha’s death. 

I really liked the scene where Niccolo reveals the truth about Gabi and Falco. I wasn’t sure how the reveal would end up happening/when it would happen, but every beat was so satisfying.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING THE SURVEY CORPS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 60 responses

The Survey Corps inadvertently get involved in the restaurant drama and manage to drag in the Yeagerists with them. Though, when it comes to moments that involved the Survey Corps, Eren showing up to menacingly greet Armin and Mikasa was at the top of 65% of respondents’ lists. 

floch epic smile

Eren literally stole the episode with that casual greeting.

Eren just dropping his existence on Armin, Gabi and Mikasa.. nice moment.

ZEKE ACCUSES LEVI OF BEING UNPOPULAR. LEVI DENIES THIS. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 61 responses

During their conversation in the forest, Levi accuses Zeke of being guitless over the fate of Ragako village, to which Zeke retorts by saying Levi must not be popular. 44.3% of respondents aren’t sure whether or not Levi is or ever has been popular, but got a good laugh at seeing him get so defensive over the accusation. 24.6% feel that he must be popular… he is humanity’s strongest, afterall. 19.7% think if he is popular, it’s only among the Survey Corps. 

Petra and Levi crumbs!!!

Well he’s popular in the real world.

He just don’t care

PAPA BLOUSE SAYS THAT IT IS UP TO THE ADULTS TO SHOULDER THE SINS OF THE PAST, AND TO “KEEP THE CHILDREN OUT OF THE FOREST.” WHAT DO YOU THINK? 59 responses

This question had a little less to do with the content of the anime, but more where viewers stand from a general worldview when it comes to what Papa Blouse had to say. The majority, at 57.6%, do feel that it’s the adult’s responsibilities to do everything they can not to burden children with the problems created in the past. 22% feel the opposite, however, and believe that children are no exception when it comes to dealing with the problems the world faces. 18.6% are somewhere in the middle, agreeing that ideally children wouldn’t be forced to bear the brunt of our sins, but that it is regrettably unavoidable. 

All problems in AoT are there because of children inherting their parents/ancestors sins. Stop it, listen to Mr. Blouse

WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE EXPLANATION OF WHAT HAPPENED IN RAGAKO VILLAGE? 60 responses

We appeared to finally get an answer about what happened in Connie’s village 4 years ago. Overall the majority of the fandom has accepted it as fact, with 55% feeling that it really cleared things up for them, while 11.7% accepted it but felt that it was a cheap explanation. 31.7% feel that it was a lie fabricated by Zeke and want to see if any other explanation surfaces in the future. 

I felt like they went over it very fast, would have like a more in depth explanation

DO YOU THINK THAT ZEKE CARES ABOUT THE SURVIVAL OF THE ELDIAN RACE? 59 responses

Zeke claims his actions have all been for Eldia’s sake. Levi is sure suspicious of this statement, but what about the fandom? 45.8% don’t want to say one way or another if Zeke is being genuine about this claim and want to wait and see how things unfold. 32.2% are absolutely positive that this is a lie, and that Zeke would rather see the Eldian race perish. Only a small handful feel the opposite, and believe Zeke genuinely wants to see Eldians thrive. 

i think yes, but only for their use as possible weapons as titans?

LEVI AND ZEKE BOTH SEEM TO AGREE THAT THE MILITARY IS WASTING TIME. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? 59 responses

57.6% landed somewhere in the middle on this question, feeling that it’s possible the military is taking too long to make a move on, well, anything… but that they also can’t just leave caution to the wind when it comes to their delicate situation. 35.6%, on the other hand, feel they are taking too long and there is really no excuse for it (other than, perhaps, incompetence). Only a sliver of respondents think that they aren’t wasting time and doing the best they can to get things under control. 

They are in stand-by for too much time, time and events are catching up with them 

They should be listening more to Eren and prepare for Marley's inevitable attack. Marley and the Warriors are the true enemy, not Eren.

KAYA SEEMS TO THINK THAT SASHA AND NICOLO WERE IN LOVE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 60 responses

58.3% of respondents believe Kaya is right, and that Nicolo and Sasha had mutual romantic feelings for each other. On the other hand, 38.3% feel that the romantic feelings were purely one-sided on Nicolo’s part. We may never know for sure without Sasha’s perspective. 

We haven't seen Sasha interact with Nicolo expect when eating his food so it's hard to tell

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICOLO ATTACKING GABI AND FALCO? 60 responses

Nicolo wasn’t at all welcoming of Gabi bragging about taking Sasha’s life, and in his anguish tried to attack her. 56.7% feel that while this isn’t particularly excusable, it was an understandable thing to do, given the circumstances. 38.3%, on the other hand, were only disappointed that Falco got in the way. One respondent feels the opposite, and hopes that Nicolo gets some kind of karmic justice for his action. 

Falco always takes for Gaby I'm sad 

Attacking Falco, big nope. Attacking Gabi, TWO THUMBS UP!

Glad Nicolo got to punch Gabi, but I'm disappointed he was talked out of it with talk no jitsu. Shoulda killed Gabi on the spot.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT MIKASA’S COMPASSION TOWARD GABI? 59 responses

After Papa Blouse’s speech, Mikasa checks on Gabi and asks to see her wounds. This is quickly followed up by her outright protecting Gabi from Kaya’s rage. 37.3% were just happy to see her get any focus that wasn’t centered around Eren, while 30.5% have nothing but praise for our heroine. 23.7%, on the other hand, wish she hadn’t intervened at all and let things play out as they may. 

Bad Mikasa, bad! I’ve lost ALL love and respect for her now!

Gabi should have died and I will forever hate Mikasa and Artur for not letting her die

Hating Mikasa forever for stopping Kaya

AFTER SEEING GABI’S EMOTIONAL RESPONSES OVER THE BLOUSE FAMILY’S GRIEF, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER? 60 responses

We got a colorful pie chart with this one. 26.7% felt happy to see her finally getting some (hopefully) positive character development, while 23.3% felt the complete opposite - that they don’t think she truly feels anything about it and that they still don’t enjoy her character. 21.7% are happy to see she feels some remorse, but it’s not enough to make them like her. However, 16.7% are starting to feel more warmly toward her. 

i dont like her, but i like that shes developing as a character. If she finally made the connection that all of them, as human beings, shouldnt be carryign the burdens of their past and defining eaxh ither by the mistakes of their ancestors, creating a never ending cycle of violence, which she is shown as on the brink of umderstanding, then i might begin to like her character a little more

I love seeing Gabi’s slow realization that the islanders aren’t “devils”. Girl needs some kindness, and I’m glad that they can forgive her.

I still hate Gabi. No development will ever change that.

NICOLO SAYS THAT YELENA GAVE THEM INSTRUCTION TO SPIKE THE WINE. DO YOU THINK SHE IS THE ULTIMATE MASTERMIND BEHIND THIS SCHEME? 58 responses

Changing focus here, we move onto the wine plot. 39.7% believe that Zeke is the ultimate mastermind behind the wine plot. 20.7% don’t want to say for sure who exactly was in charge of it, and 17.2% believe it is purely Yelena’s doing. 10.3% think it may be someone else that we are unaware of just yet. 

I think Yelena is definitely cooperating with Eren.. but not Zeke? 

i think she got something from zeke, but then continued on to do what she thinks that zeke would want, in zeke's name

FLOCH IS AWARE OF THE SPIKED WINE. DO YOU THINK EREN IS AS WELL? 61 responses

When it comes to Eren’s possible awareness of the wine plot, 42.6% believe that he definitely knows about it, while only 27.9% think that he’s completely oblivious to it. 21.3% didn’t want to say one way or another, and the remainder have already been spoiled on this.

WHY DO YOU THINK THE WINE WAS SPIKED WITH ZEKE’S SPINAL FLUID? 58 responses

Nearly half of respondents (48.3%) believe the wine was spiked with Zeke’s spinal fluid as an insurance in case Paradis does anything to threaten Zeke. 13.8% feel it is on a lesser scale, and that he is simply being cautious about Eren and his intentions. 17.2% believe it’s not related to a potential betrayal at all, but rather the ability to have pure titans available should Paradis be attacked. 

He wants to wipe out the higher ranks to control Paradis himself

I really don't know but I'm sure he has a great plan in mind

WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO FALCO? 58 responses

The majority of the fandom feel more confident than not about Falco’s future, feeling that though he may become a titan, he will be saved by one of the titan shifters. 10.3% believe that he won’t actually be titanized at all, with another 10.3% stating they’re simply not sure. Only a small handful actually feel more bleak about Falco’s fate.

WHY DID NICOLO CONFESS? 59 responses

45.8% of respondents feel that Nicolo felt pressed to confess about the wine due to multiple factors. 30.5% believe he did so because he didn’t want to lie about the ramifications to his friends in the Survey Corps. 10.2% believe he was moved by the Blouse family’s compassion, and 6.8% felt that he knew the jig was up, and another 6.8% believe he simply felt guilty for attacking Gabi and Falco.

WHAT DO YOU THINK EREN WANTS TO TALK TO ARMIN AND MIKASA ABOUT? 59 responses

37.3% believe that the contents of EMA’s conversation will revolve around what Eren’s goals are. 13.6% believe that he’s there to negotiate with them about something or another. 11.9% believe that he’s going to try to get them on board with his plan and try to recruit them as Yeagerists. 10.2% aren’t sure what he’s seeking out, and only one person thinks he’s going to threaten them. The rest have all been spoiled. 

I think he gonna tell tem he is the new final boss of the game 😂

all of the above except threaten snd ive been spoiled 

possibly the first two, i think hes going to ask them to join him after letting them have a little bit of insight, and possibly somehting about their past as friends

DO YOU THINK EREN WILL COME TO “UNDERSTAND” WHATEVER IT WAS MIKASA AND ARMIN WANTED TO SAY TO HIM? 56 responses

Though it’s not clear what Armin wanted to say to Eren beyond trying to figure out what his goal is, 46.4% believe that Eren won’t be having any of it and will not come to an understanding. 41.1%, however, feel the opposite and think that Eren will come around to whatever it is Armin and Mikasa want. The remainder have been spoiled.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Voice acting on the revelation that Gabi is the one who killed Sasha is so superb! I like how our characters want to stop the cycle of revenge even if they appear as unrealistically kind. And Floch, he looks like a demon! It looks like he just feels so great to be in control and I just want things to turn around for him. And Levi's popularity with the ladies? I like the little comedy sprinkled into these episode. I just feel for him the irony of the situation that the person they protected with their all turned out to be like that.

It was sooooo good. The scene with Gabi and Nicolo had so much emotion in it. And I paused and said "holy shit" out loud when  Eren appeared

Caused lots of conflicting feelings towards characters and provided a lot of character development

The wine was definitely sus

Super looking forward to the next episode...I feel like something absolutely crazy is gonna happen! thanks MAPPA<3

Nicolo could have easily been the MVP of this chapter. Then he backed down because of that coward Artur Braus's cringe speech. Shame.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 59 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! 

If you haven’t yet, please take a moment to send in your vote for up to 5 favorite characters for our 2021 character popularity poll! 

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2020 Anime Quick Takes

Thanks to pandemic delays, the Summer 2020 season was slim pickins (and the fall season has been A Lot in comparison) but there were a couple titles I enjoyed!

Appare-Ranman!

Appare-Ranman! technically launched in the spring, but thanks to COVID delays, most of it ended up airing last season, and that’s when I picked it up. The anime follows Appare, an eccentric inventor and his long suffering samurai companion, Kosame. Thanks to a mishap, the pair get blown from their home in Japan all the way to America, circa...well, SOMEWHERE in the late 1800s/early 1900s, but don’t expect much attention to historical accuracy here. Kosame desperately wants to get home to reassure his family but lacks the funds, meanwhile Appare just wants to build a cool car, so both of them end up joining the Trans America Wild Race, the first car race across all of America, and get mixed up with a variety of characters.

Appare-Ranman is just plain fun and I was honestly surprised by how endeared I was by it by the show’s end. The ensemble cast’s designs are all wildly over-the-top and blatantly stereotypical of their respective backgrounds, which is fine for Appare and Kosame, Japanese characters in a Japanese production, but may sit less well when it comes to the black and indigenous characters, for instance.

While I’m not here to say “look past the designs because the characters are ~secretly groundbreaking~” (they’re not, the struggles Hototo faces as a Native American are just barely referenced and Jing goes through a very by-the-numbers arc where she faces some easily resolved sexism and that’s about it), the series does do very well making the ensemble really fun, loveable characters who play off each other really well.. Episode 9- which just has all the characters hang out and interact with each other and goof off and I deeply loved every second of it-made me realize how much the cast had charmed me. Kosame and Appare being confused by American hotsprings! TJ making Dylan feel insecure about his hair! Sofia and Jing getting a cute bonding moment! It made me realize that this show had managed to do one of my favorite things- it could feature any combination of two characters and make the audience love and want to see more of them through small interactions.

Overall Appare is a really fun adventure romp that’s cool to just chill out to and enjoy the explosion of anachronism, action, camp, and cute characters having cute interactions. The final arc did kinda pull a couple things that annoyed me- a boring villain, one of the female characters getting held hostage and the other one being put in the typical “LET’S HAVE THE ONE GIRL ON THE GOOD SIDE AND ONE GIRL ON THE BAD SIDE FIGHT” deal, but other than that, it was a thoroughly good time.

Deca-Dence

Deca-Dence follows a young woman named Natsume and her grizzled mentor,  Kaburagi. Both of them work as maintenance grunts in a giant mechanical fortress called Deca-Dence where the last surviving members of humanity are holed up to shield themselves from the constant attacks of giant monsters. The humans are protected by a weird alien looking race of warriors called Gears, and only elite humans are allowed to fight the monsters alongside the Gears. Natsume desperately wants to fight, but is told she can’t because of her mechanical arm. But Kaburagi may have more experience than he lets on when it comes to fighting...

It’s hard to talk about Deca-Dence because it executes a pretty big second episode twist that changes the entire context of the show. Without spoiling, all I can say is it does end up having some things to say about exploitative systems, things that feel very relatable in the hell year of 2020. It’s definitely worth checking out the first two episodes to see what you think.

Other than that, Deca-Dence is often beautifully animated, has an ambitious, meaningful premise,  there’s some interesting nuance to how Natsume relates to her disability that’s briefly bought up, and it features a nice amount of female characters in prominent roles- in addition to Natsume, the strongest human warrior is a woman and a wonderfully acerbic hacker named Jill essentially holds the plot together with her competence. On paper, it should have been my favorite of the season, but while it was definitely a worthwhile watch... I think I preferred the wacky racing show despite all its problems.

Part of it may have to do with the fact Natsume and Kaburagi didn’t end up being true co-protagonists. It seemed like they might be in the beginning, but the latter half of the show definitely shifted the focus to Kaburagi as protag. It’s not fair to say Natsume ends up serving solely as Kaburagi’s “inspiration” but, despite her efforts to be active, that’s still the bulk of her role, especially in the finale, and it didn’t completely sit well with me and also kind of muddied the thematic waters a bit. It was a show in part about the exploitation of humanity where humanity felt kind of...marginal.

So yes, Deca-Dence is a solid watch and I’d certainly recommend it, but its whole feels a little less than the sum of its parts.

Fruits Basket Season 2 (13-25)

The back half of FB season 2 is notable for bringing one of the best parts of the series, the Sorta Cinderella play, to life. Other than that, not much to say other than what I’ve been sayin’- solid show, some dated aspects, lots of feels. Looking forward to season 3!

[untitledtallgeesepodcast]

[TRANCRIPT] EPISODE 14: ROAD TRIP (NO APOLOGIES)

Cathy  00:03

Hello and welcome back to Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where four old friends rewatch and discuss Gundam Wing. I am Cathy, your moderator for this episode, and I am joined as always, by Kat, Mallory, and Caitlin. If you have been following along, you know that this week's episode — Episode 27, Locus of Victory and Defeat and Episode 28, Passing Destinies — are recap episodes, following the unofficial Season Finale from last time. As mentioned previously, we will be spending the bulk of this episode discussing a topic near and dear to all of our hearts, Gundam Wing fanfic from the early 2000ish through the lens of one very special fic, Road Trip by Sunhawk.  But first, there isn't a lot to talk about that's new in episodes 27 and 28, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention two bits of new information we got. First, that Relena has switched wardrobes, and is now in a Sanc Kingdom school uniform. And she no longer is informing Heero that he needs to come over here and kill her but rather to return to her, echoing Quatre's telepathic insight into Heero's Golden Aura from the end of Episode 26. And second, Treize is now being placed under house arrest by the Romefeller Foundation for his speech in front of Duke Dermail. At the end of Episode 28 we see that he's not alone in house arrest, but rather joined by a ghostly Lady Une still in her peaceful ambassador outfit, who joins Treize, as he looks at blueprints of yet another mysterious Gundam-like mobile suit on his laptop, which spoiler alert, is Epyon. I think, you know, these are interesting episodes. And Caitlin, I know you had something to say about the way the recaps are done in 27 and 28.

Caitlin  01:45

Yeah, I think that it's really interesting how they, I mean, that new information comes to us via these framing narratives, where you have Relena, and a little bit Heero, and then Treize narrating everything that's happened to them. So we get a Relena narration where she's much more strongly identifying herself as the ruler of the Sanc Kingdom. And then we get a Treize narration that links together a lot of his dubious political thought, in the midst of his defeat.

Kat  02:18

It felt like the first time we really understood like, exactly what Lady Une thought his politics were, or his plans were and how he changed those plans, like explicitly.

Cathy  02:29

Yes, there was this moment where he reflects on the beauty of where he is trapped, which I believe is the Luxembourg base, but I don't know if they ever say that. And he articulates it as if to say, "this is what I wanted to preserve. This is what I joined OZ thinking it was to preserve," and then traces his change in thought, which I don't remember that ever coming through necessarily. What he thought he was doing originally before he became the Treize that we know.

Kat  02:56

Cathy, I did want to say that it felt like Treize was really reciting from your theory of anime from last episode when he talks about these "warriors with rebellious wings," and how their like purity of spirit completely changed his life.

Cathy  03:12

Yes, I love it. I felt like [laughter]--

Mallory  03:15

Yeah, I wrote, "Cathy! strong wills, what purity! theory of anime!" in my notes. So there you go. 

Caitlin  03:22

Now we have to address the possibility that Cathy is Treize. Treize was God, he was Hannibal, and now he's Cathy. 

Cathy  03:28

It does, I think, speak to why I've always found Treize a really fascinating character, even if I think he is a huge asshole, and none of his ideas make any sense. But you know, I am always drawn to this idea of people who, and I think I phrased it as "get sucked into other people's deranged orbits?" and Treize is both a person who creates a deranged orbit around himself [laughter] and also gets sucked into the orbit of the Gundam pilots, so I do love that about him.

Caitlin  03:56

Interesting. That explains a lot about you, but also makes me understand Treize a little bit better framing him that way.

Kat  04:03

I know you're sick of her but I did like that Une finally figured out the soul of OZ, that the purpose of battles isn't limited to making ideals into reality.

Mallory  04:11

Since you brought it up... why does Treize refer to her as like, my love? Or beloved? He says, "Lady Une, my love, rest in peace." So is the show trying to make me believe that Treize has feelings for Lady Une? 

Kat  04:26

Is it just awkward writing?

Caitlin  04:28

I think it's just awkward writing but also kind of that. I think the dub at least -- and I only listened to the dub this time -- decided that Treize was in love with her and is going with that.

Kat  04:39

Both of these episodes felt very much like, "Hey, remember this heterosexual pairing?"

Cathy  04:44

Yes! And I remember one time we talked about whether or not this show actually ships heterosexual pairings or just, they thought they were but they're just so horrible at writing heterosexual romances [laughter] that everything comes off really strange and this is definitely an example of that. Like, I could see both sides of this, that we are supposed to believe that Treize had romantic feelings for Lady Une and then it just was written so poorly because nobody on the show has met a real woman before. [laughter] Or, and I guess this would be my interpretation, it isn't that he is like romantically interested in her or was in love with her. But she was very important to him and represented, you know, one of the people that I think he wielded the biggest influences on and that touches him deeply. And her quote unquote, fate being that she is, quote unquote, dead at the end of Episode 26 weighs heavily on him.

Caitlin  05:40

But she's not dead. [laughing] Why does he say it? I know that in the episode, it's meant to be a fake out like, Oh, we know, we saw Lady Une die. And then Treize is talking to her as though she's dead so it's really not until the very end of episode 28 that we get the reveal that she's alive. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Cathy  05:59

So let's address fake outs because there are characters talking in episodes 27 and 28, and I'm not sure if we are supposed to believe that they're talking at the time of the flashback footage being shown to us, or afterwards, right now, in the world of Episode 28.

Kat  06:16

I think Relena's was the only narration that actually seems like 100% anchored to what we were looking at. So... like Treize definitely we hear his earlier thoughts at the beginning and then he explains how they've changed, but with Heero it's just sort of like A, and then B. 

Mallory  06:34

Right, when Heero in Episode 27 says, "I don't consider the other Gundam pilots my comrades, I've never had comrades from the start," I have no idea if this narration is trying to tell me that Heero at this point in time currently, after Episode 26, does not believe the Gundam pilots are his friends. Or if he's referring to how he felt back then.

Caitlin  07:00

I under-understood that as definitely he's talking about that point in the flashback.

Cathy  07:05

It is kind of thrown out there. And it seems like by now he would have had so much interaction with these guys, especially at least with Trowa, that it would be kind of wild for him to say that [laughing]

Caitlin  07:18

He considers Trowa his comrade boyfriend, y'know? [cat meows in background]

Mallory  07:20

It was making me laugh because we've been reading this fic, this road trip arc. And it's kind of incredible how much this arc -- and we'll talk about this -- how much this arc and formed my idea of what the Gundam pilots' relationships were or like, their, their relationship dynamics or that they /had/ relationships with each other. So when I read all these fic, I was thinking like, "Wow, I didn't see any of this coordination in the show. Like there are no safe houses in the episodes that I watched. Oh, that like, it's okay, that must have come later." And now I'm later in the series, [laughing] and I'm finding out that actually, they interact very tangentially for the most part, where I was imagining a lot more camaraderie as the episodes progressed.

Kat  08:11

I know in Episode Zero, you were really distraught to learn that it's not like, "let's all five meet up and team up!" ... 

Mallory  08:19

Yeah!

Kat  08:19

...kind of anime

Mallory  08:21

I mean, I'm really enjoying where it's going now. And I enjoy the sort of bits of relationships that we're getting and the ways that their personalities bounce off each other. And that's what makes, that's what makes Gundam Wing such a rich field to mine for fic, because you get all of these like, glimpses of what these characters could be to each other, within the canon of the show. And it's really easy for writers like Sunhawk to kind of just like, take them and run.

Cathy  08:52

Yes, so let's talk about Road Trip by Sunhawk. Road Trip is part of a larger, 17 part series called the Road Trip Arc by its fans. We are going to be talking mostly about just the first installment -- which is actually barely shippy. Like there are hints of the relationship that will come to be especially the 1x2 part of it. And the rest of the series is very staunchly 1x2 with background 3x4, question mark with Wufei, which I'd really love to talk about later. But at least in the first part, it's kind of more of a, I don't know if action story is the right word...  You know, it starts at some unspecified time in the canon. Heero and Duo are escaping a mission that is kind of going south. They land on earth, on a beach. Heero is badly injured, Duo is you know, kind of beat up but is still mostly functional. You know, he's not internally bleeding and concussed, which is what Heero is. So he's forced to drive them to safety, and eventually to a rendezvous point where the idea is that Quatre and the others will pick them up. But when they get there OZ is basically hot on their heels. So Duo is able to leave Heero, basically in secluded cover, but he has to redirect OZ's attention, which gets him into more trouble. And he almost essentially drowns. So exhausted, pummeled within an inch of his life, he limps his way back to a safe house, again, unspecified location, or why he knows that that thing is there, but whatever, where all the rest of the pilots are staying at. So that's Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Heero's already in the hospital, you know, Duo basically passes out. He's given immediate medical attention, including drugs that cause him to lash out and nearly kill everybody around him. But finally, Heero, near death himself, manages to sneak out of his hotel--hospital room to sit by Duo's side, which calms Duo down and the fic ends with them having this really cute exchange about Duo's IVs.  So I did want to talk about the landscape of fanfic reading at this time, before we really dive deep into Road Trip itself. Do you guys have any memories, you know, or impressions of what it was like at the time when you first started reading Gundam Wing fanfic?

Caitlin  11:12

I remember that... I'm pretty sure I read this fic on a site that had either an all black background with white text; a sepia tinted background, that was like, you know, like a light, brownish, and then like a sort of off gray text. Because back in 2000, the only HTML any of us knew was how to change background color and how to change font color. You could put one image... They had gifs back then. And I don't, that's probably why my eyes are bad now. [laughter]

Kat  11:45

Yeah, it was either like very weirdly colored websites or really, really intensely over-styled websites, where it like, it's a little pop up and it's butterfly-shaped.

Mallory  11:58

Yeah. And there's like glitter and sparkles when you move your mouse and stuff. I didn't have fast like, I didn't get DSL until really late, like I was a senior in high school. So all of these websites just like crashed our internet constantly. [laughing] It was, it was hard for me to read those kinds of archives and stuff. 

Caitlin  12:22

The point here is that these fics were hosted on like, a bunch of different sites. And it was just small, privately run, I guess you could say archives, like it's like it's one person who wants to save all the Gundam Wing fic in the world. Which is actually why we have Road Trip preserved on AO3, Archive of Our Own, which is that it's part of the Open Doors Project where a archivist by the name of Dacia used to run a site called A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, she was really into Duo. She read pretty much every Duo pairing if I recall correctly, like she was really into like all Duo pairings and she started collecting fic from various places where like, she-she wanted to curate like the best fic in her mind. So she would like ask authors, "Oh, can I host this on my site too?" after finding the fic other places and so she collected a bunch of, a bunch of fic. And as probably a lot of us know, Archive of Our Own, which is run by the Organization for Transformative Works, has a program called Open Doors where they will import archives that are closing, fanfiction archives that are closing, or that the maintainers just don't want to maintain anymore. So they maintain, they import them wholesale from the original archive and put them on Archive of Our Own.

Kat  13:49

It's pretty great because there are tons of fic from that time period that I wish I could remember or find or go back and to be able to like even search stuff on AO3 that was on those is great.

Cathy  14:02

So we've talked about this before, but that's where Gundam Wing Addiction is actually pretty funny because they did rescue some of these sites. You know, we talked about the Izumi Fountain District with Alexe Cinz stuff last time, but they also rescued, I want to say it's Lev or Levwolf or something like that? 

Kat  14:23

Leviathan's Lair. 

Cathy  14:25

The-the Leviathan's Lair. There we go. 

Kat  14:26

Ooh, I remember this site. Wow--

Mallory  14:28

Yeah

Kat  14:28

Looking at this site is like getting slapped in the face. 

Cathy  14:31

Yeah, I definitely read a lot of fic on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, which I remember had a lot of text that was like accent text in orange [laughter]. And one of my favorite authors. well, they were an author pair, TB and Marsh, they were hosted on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, that's where I first discovered them. But same thing with Sunhawk, who wrote two really famous series you know, Road Trip is the first one -- and in my memory, the more famous one although I think some people might say it's the Ion Arc, which I really don't remember anymore. 

Kat  15:06

No, like reading Road Trip -- it's sort of like if I didn't read Road Trip, I read a bunch of fics like it, but the Ion Arc doesn't really ring a bell. 

Cathy  15:15

Ok, yeah. So it was also the one that was easiest to talk about because the first part of Ion isn't really meaty enough, I think to talk about whereas Road Trip, the first installment is almost perfectly self-encompassing of a lot of stuff. In terms of dates, you know, I cannot find a definitive date of when Sunhawk first wrote and posted Road Trip, the first archive I could find that was still crawled by Web Archive, thank you Web Archive, was from November 2001 on Steelsong, who was another moderator of a large network of websites, a lot of which were Gundam Wing websites and specifically had their own Gundam Wing fanfic archive. By the time that Steelsong had put Sunhawk on their site, which was some time around November 2001, Sunhawk had already written much of Road Trip, she had already written the first six installments, which is a lot of fic. And at that time, at least in 2001, 2002, Sunhawk was writing Road Trip concurrently with Ion.  My suspicion is that Sunhawk probably first wrote this on a mailing list, you know, the 1x2 mailing list was a really popular one at the time, and so maybe it was that she first started there and then later got into the archives. But this would mean that Sunhawk probably started writing Gundam Wing fic right after Gundam Wing's run on Toonami in 2000.  So another thing I did want to point out is that we are really lucky now that Gundam Wing is available on streaming on Hulu, that there's all these wiki sites that we could basically find all the information we would want. It's possible that Sunhawk did not actually have a way to fact check anything that she was writing at the time. And so you know, one thing I did want to talk about with the fic was this indeterminate canon timeline issue, I don't know when in the series, this was supposed to happen. You know, Deathscythe is called Deathscythe. Much later in the series, Wufei's Gundam is referred to as Altron, which is his second Gundam. But we don't ever get this kidnapping phase that happens in the fic. So I don't know. But then again, I realized when I was Sunawk in 2001, how was she supposed to have checked that? Right?

Kat  17:29

I think also, nobody gave a shit back then. [laughs] 

Mallory  17:32

Yeah. Like, it's also sort of like, did it really matter to your enjoyment? Like, you have all the elements of the Gundam Wing pilots and them interacting and the shipping, and like, it doesn't really matter what canon we're supposed to be in because we're already out of, outside of canon.

Kat  17:52

I feel like there were only like two timelines for fic and it was basically like pre-Endless Waltz and then post-Endless Waltz. I never really felt like, even though there's definitely a definitive plot split between, like, from all the episodes we've seen, and all the episodes we're about to see, I never really felt like fic did.

Caitlin  18:12

It's, it's sort of an interesting question in like Film Studies, where, you know, up until VHS, there was no way to really rewatch a movie that you were writing about. So a lot of film criticism and film theory was written by people who had only like, watched the movie once. So there's, it's kind of like a pathology we have nowadays that we can rewatch everything over and over again, so we can get this sort of like perfect timeline, this perfect like, sense of a film. Whereas in the past, like nobody ever watched anything like that. And there are, there are some film theorists nowadays who's still argue for that as like the true model of cinema, though obviously, that's much less prominent now. That, that gets into my whole idea of fanfic as a form of like interpretation, like fanfic is like a type of criticism of the original series. 

Kat  19:01

Yeah, absolutely. And the thing that people wanted more of in Gundam Wing was gay shit and safe houses. 

Mallory & Caitlin  19:08

Yeah. 

Caitlin  19:09

And it's and it's easy to just like put that in. Like reading Road Trip, I wasn't thinking too much about like, where does this fit in the timeline because who cares?

Cathy  19:16

This is a first person POV fic, which in my mind now is pretty rare for big fanfics to be first person POV. But you, Mallory, had noted how much this voice sounded like the dub Duo voice. 

Mallory  19:30

Yeah, she has gotten Duo's voice down. [laughs] I think it's just the slang that she kind of throws in there, the sort of casual way that Duo thinks and speaks feels very "of the show." Like I hear Scott McNeil's voice in my head [laughs] reading her fic is how good I think it is. Like there's like a cheesy earnestness in the dialogue of both the show and the fic that I think like works really well and is like really charming.

Caitlin  20:05

And I think that, so I think Duo's voice is very well established and it is at least, I only read the first two parts, but in the second part which is Heero's first person point of view, Duo's dialogue lines are also very strongly Scott McNeil-esque, I felt. I think Heero's voice is a little bit less distinct. One of my struggles with these fics was like, does this read as Heero to me? Like I really wasn't sure. And I'll say with regards to the first person point of view, maybe this gets us on to a different topic, but there are so many things about this fic where if I opened a fic like this now in 2020, I would hit I would hit the back button so hard. 

Cathy  20:48

No, I want to talk about this, this is a great topic. I love this. 

Caitlin  20:51

So I would never read something with this much violence. I'd always be like, what I don't want to read that, I don't want to read Duo getting beaten up or tortured, or whatever.

Mallory & Kat  21:00

Oh! [laughter]

Caitlin  21:02

I know! I like, I don't, I don't read that sort of fic these days. Like I don't read whump, the ancient genre of whump. [laughs]

Kat  21:10

Oh, whump I guess is like a ancient genre but an everlasting genre to me. 

Caitlin  21:15

Yes.

Kat  21:15

Cathy, when you were trying to classify this fic, I was thinking, "this is definitely whump, pre-slash."

Mallory & Caitlin & Cathy  21:21

Yes, yes. Yes. 

Mallory  21:22

At least part one is pre-slash.

Kat  21:24

Yeah

Caitlin  21:25

And I would never read something like that these days... Like if it was, it was tagged pre-slash, rated M, and I be like, "but how can it be rated M if they don't have sex?" I'd be like, "no, there's got to be some other reason for this to be rated M, I can't handle it. I need to go back." Like I would hit the back button so hard. And I'd be wrong because this fic is really good. 

Kat  21:47

It definitely feels from, from an older time~

Cathy  21:50

Yes, I agree. And I second everything Caitlin said. This fic was surprisingly readable and I know that sounds like a backhanded compliment but what I mean is, I didn't expect it to still sound as good and like something I would see someone write now, but it is. It's still really good, you know the voices are really good, the dialogue are really, is really good. But everything about it screams back button. Like I hated Quatre and Trowa even in this fic. [laughing]

Caitlin  22:19

Oh my god, oh my god [laughter]

Cathy  22:20

[laughter] Even though they do nothing, I hated them. Outside of Gundam Wing I did not ever read whump or hurt/comfort fic, you know, this was just not a genre that I was ever interested in. In Gundam Wing it was almost unavoidable? 

Kat  22:33

I was gonna say there's no way [crosstalk]

Cathy  22:34

because of the plot [crosstalk] So you kind of had to--

Kat

especially if you like Duo--

Cathy

Especially if you liked Duo! And then of course all of the little fandom tropes that kill me now about the fic might actually have not yet been as deeply entrenched in fanon at the time she was writing as they are now but--

Caitlin  22:51

True

Cathy  22:51

Certainly now when I read it, I'm like, well, there's the safe house.

Mallory  22:55

Yeah, it's like a checklist almost. Like oh, there's that mention of Duo's hair smelling like sandalwood,

Cathy  23:02

Yes!

Caitlin  23:02

Why sandalwood?

Mallory  23:03

It was always sandalwood and it was always Duo. Duo's hair always smelled like sandalwood..

Kat  23:08

I mean it might be this fic though, like this is  The the fic, the landscape of fic reading and stuff, there was just less of it and like the people who are into it are like really spending time to find it and stuff. We're talking about different archives, I read like everything on 1x2x1--

Mallory  23:10

Mmhmm

Kat  23:10

Uh wing-- Shinigami and Wing like and so I think it was like, fanon still coalesces pretty fast now but I think because there's less access to source material too it's like so much easier for it to grow like this, just sort of permeate the entire fandom, not just one pairing.

Mallory  23:48

Yeah, I mean like Kat you were saying earlier you may not have read this particular fic but you have definitely read 10 or 15 other ones that are very similar to it in terms of what you can expect from the action and the characters and the pairings.

Kat  24:04

Duo is gonna get hurt. Heero is gonna be angry over something that he doesn't need to be angry about. Trowa is gonna to be a calm head, Quatre's the kind heart. Wufei I like in this because he's like the friend, the bro, instead of the standoffish fifth guy. 

Mallory  24:19

Yeah, 

Kat  24:19

so that's nice--

Caitlin  24:20

Yeah. Wufei good in this but he has a better like,

Kat  24:25

Rapport?

Caitlin  24:25

He has more rapport with Duo than Heero does [laughter]  

Mallory  24:28

Yes. I was going to say--

Caitlin  24:31

I'm sure we were all in on this but I was side shipping Duo and Wufei a lot. Wufei gave him a bath!

Mallory & Kat  24:38

Wufei gets him! 

Cathy  24:40

Do you guys, can I spoil something about the rest of the Road Trip arc? 

Caitlin  24:43

Yes! 

Mallory & Kat  24:44

Yeah. 

Cathy  24:45

So I okay. And I will first give readers this warning, if you do want to read the rest of the installments of Road Trip, there are warnings on AO3 but I must add that there is a significant part of Duo's backstory that deals with rape and trauma and especially rape of Duo when he was very under age so--

Caitlin  25:10

This also something that would be auto back button for me.

Cathy  25:13

Yeah so I have to I have to put in that disclaimer because I don't want people wandering into the rest of the story. Road Trip the first installment is fine but the rest of the story this is, this is a big part of his character so please don't read it if it is triggering. But one thing about Wufei is you find out later he actually has a BIG honkin' crush on Duo and he is almost always--

Mallory 25:36

I must have read this.

Caitlin  25:37

Nooooo!

Cathy  25:37

 He is almost always there basically like helping like pick Duo up and like--

Caitlin  25:43

no [crosstalk] this is too sad!

Cathy  25:43

Supplements this like emotional stuff that like Heero doesn't get because Heero has a bad problem 

Caitlin  25:49

[agonized] Noooo--

Cathy  25:49

in Road Trip of like treating Duo as like too fragile which pisses Duo off  

Kat  

That was a common dynamic. 

Cathy

He comes to this like realization that he's like really in love with Duo but then he has to shelve it because he realizes that Duo and Heero are soulmates? And so he like, he says he'll be a friend forever and he gives like do this plush dragon. And then the whole thing is it's set up to be eventually a Wufei and Sally Po story? But the very last installment -- that is part 16 of the 16 part series -- is essentially a story where Duo has an anxiety freak out while Heero's away. He calls Wufei over to his apartment, they spend a night together completely platonically. Duo realizes that Wufei is like eaten up inside by something that Wufei won't tell Duo about. And it's like this crush, which all of us know because we all read the part with the Wufei point of view, but like Duo didn't get the memo. 

Mallory

Oh my god?

Kat

I picked up on this and I only read one chapter.

Caitlin

I can't handle this.

Cathy

So he's not sure what's happening. And that at the very end, you know, Wu Fei is like basically telling Duo that he doesn't want to start dating Sally Po because he's afraid of like, basically something that like, and he phrases it in a way that makes Duo think he's talking about his former dead wife, but it's actually about Duo. [crosstalk: No!] And Duo says to him, you have to let the past go. And so then Wufei does and call Sally up for a date. 

Kat

Okay, that plush dragon thing just lit up eight synapses.

Caitlin

I hate this.

Kat

I have read this fic, 100%.

Caitlin  25:57

It's possible that this is why I got into 2x5.

Cathy  27:32

So I just had to add this here because like, I truly felt the same way. Like I shipped Wufei and Duo was so hard and the more Heero like became this like, super protective like... I like this story, but I don't buy it as Heero characterization. Like I don't think Heero was very convincing. But I do find Duo and Wufei very convincing in the series. [laughs]

Caitlin  27:51

Yeaaah.

Kat  27:51

I think this is a big problem with a lot of Heero fanon characterization at the time, though, because like the logical conclusion of the fanon characterization of Heero is just a huge asshole nobody wants to date. [laughs] When the Toonami series aired, it was like a ton of 1x2. That was it. It was like 1x2, 3x4 blah, blah but I think as fanon crystallized like pairing diversity also increased.

Caitlin  28:17

Yeah, the thing is that I'm fine reading fanfic between assholes that nobody would want to date. That is, tends to be the type of fanfic that I read anyway. 

Kat  28:27

Look, I get that.

Caitlin  28:27

So Heero being terrible is fine. The problem is that this fic characterizes him as less terrible than he seems to actually be?

Mallory  28:36

Mmm.

Caitlin  28:36

Like, I don't think Heero is this, I don't think he's this protective. I don't think he's this in tune with his feelings. Part Two, really, like, as some of you might know, I never read established relationship fic, so I wasn't going to continue past Part Two anyway. Even though they have a lot of problems, I'm just like, all right, they already confessed their feelings. I'm not interested anymore. But I just found it really hard to believe that Heero would be able to confess his feelings or even like, recognize love, emotions, or romance that early on. 

Kat  29:10

It's the combined problem of he's an asshole who no one would want a date and the fic is still trying to convince me that him and Duo are like really great together in general. So I wrote a lot of Gundam Wing fic in middle school, so I consumed so much of it on [laughing] fanfiction.net and the characterization ended up getting really, really far removed even further removed than this fic from the actual show, I guess.

Cathy  29:35

So one thing I did want to point out, it's less obvious in Part One, but becomes increasingly obvious as you move through this arc is the total lack or mention of Relena Peacecraft. And, and I mean it, she is not mentioned once in this entire fic, which is odd because it goes from middle of the canon through until the post-Endless Waltz and then [laughter] seven to eight years, and seven to eight years after--

Mallory  30:05

Wow 

Cathy  30:05

the end of Endless Waltz, which, and again at by the end of this fic series, spoilers, Duo, Wufei, and Heero all work for the Preventers. So it seems very [laughter] weird that none of them would interact with Relena. So like I did--

Caitlin  30:14

It seems like they would run into Relena sometime [laughter]. 

Cathy  30:21

I did want to open the floor to talk about Relena Peacecraft and her place in Gundam Wing fanfic.

Kat  30:29

Well, so either you're a het shipper so you're, you're, you're doing fine, your Heero is probably very different. [laughter]

Caitlin  30:41

Wait, let's let's be clear that there were a lot of het shippers

Kat  30:44

Yes.

Caitlin  30:44

And they still are there. There was a lot of het shipping in the Japanese fandom too. I think Heero and Relena were popular. 

Kat  30:51

Duo and Hilde. 

Caitlin  30:53

And the official media that came out was like, oh Duo and Hilde. And, oh Heero and Relena.

Cathy  30:58

Yeah.

Kat  30:59

Relena and fanfiction so you're a het -- you could be a het shipper, so then she's in it a lot. 

Mallory

Or you hate her and she's a monster and she's the the thing standing between Heero and Duo falling in love or being together, which I feel like I read a lot of.

Kat  31:15

She could be shipping them but that was way more rare I thought and then like just not having her around.

Caitlin  31:22

So like, from the perspective of the contemporary moment, it looks bad to just not write Relena at all in your 300,000 word fic about characters who talk to Relena all the time. Like it seems bad 

Kat  31:38

But! 

Caitlin  31:39

but she was so controversial that I could see like I can see the logic of just not including her.

Kat  31:45

And as a reader I, I often preferred that she just kind of not be there be like very peripheral over... like I think at the beginning I really enjoyed the like Relena hating because there's just very viscerally satisfying, but later on, I was like, hmmm.

Caitlin  32:01

The other option is like, write a explainer about why your Heero in your fic doesn't love Relena, he only loves Duo. It just becomes, like, tedious to write that every single fic.

Cathy  32:15

One thing that I was digging up was a lot of Relena hate sites. And one thing we had talked about in past episodes was kind of like hating her because she was this rich girl, she had this entourage, we couldn't really relate to her. And there was a lot of that in why people expressed why they hated Relena. Like she was spoiled. She had everything. She was obsessed with Heero and so she definitely like wanted him as one of her belongings kind of thing? So I think it is one of those moments where now that I've read a lot more other types of Gundam Wing fanfic that I wasn't reading at that time that have, I think, much more interesting Relena characterization, and much more I think realistic ideas about what Heero and Relena's relationship would be like. I think, "God I was so stupid!" but I feel that same way about like everything I was into, right? [laughs] So like, it is kind of humbling and also funny. 

Mallory  33:14

Like reading this fic it's about as comforting as like finding your favorite High School sweater, you know, in the back of your closet when you're visiting home and putting it on and finding out it still fits. And it's because it sort of hits all of those familiar tropes that I remember reading, like the use of "Gods" is like--

Kat  33:32

Yes!

Mallory  33:33

punch in the face.

Caitlin  33:34

Why does everyone say gods? 

Mallory  33:36

Yes. 

Cathy

Everybody!

Mallory  33:37

Okay, and I don't remember, like I remember this being a thing in Gundam Wing fic I don't remember why--

Caitlin  33:43

[crosstalk] Duo was American and was raised in a—

Cathay

[laughing] Catholic!

Caitlin

Catholic. Why would he say Gods?

Kat  33:48

[crosstalk] Yeah Duo would never.

Cathy  33:49

I kind of get maybe the idea of why others would do it if this became like a post colony thing but certainly not Duo.

Kat  33:57

In like middle school. I was always wondering like, "oh, what kind of weird event happened in the future that made everybody until like a polytheist?" [laughter] Like, what kind of world building is this?

Mallory  34:07

Yeah, I thought that there had to be like a reason or is there a rule?

Caitlin  34:12

I kind of thought that just like the people writing fanfic at the time tended to be like pagans. Like, like, that was fine. And they and they were pushing their pagan agenda by having everybody say gods. 

Cathy  34:22

No, I, I, 100. That's 100% my theory.

Caitlin  34:25

that's what I think it is. 

Cathy  34:26

So I mean, Sunhawk was one of the older writers at the time, but I think a lot of the people who were archivists and writers at the time were older, she was probably at least I want to say in her 30s. They're usually older, some of them are Wiccan or pagan and a lot of them were very interested in like education and sort of like bringing up the younger members of the fandom. So Sunhawk specifically, like had a personality who was like very educational? I'm not saying that that's why she did particularly this "Gods" thing, but I do think that that was like part of the general dismantling of monotheistic-- 

Mallory 35:01

Christian god. 

Cathy  35:02

Yeah. So the last thing I want to talk about in terms of this fanfic is all the five pilots working together, coordinating pickup and rescue missions. 

Mallory  35:11

Rendezvous points? How are they in contact with each other? 

Cathy  35:15

And they all appear to have like similar missions? Like, it seems like Heero and Duo were on this mission together instead of what we see in the show, which is that they don't...? Again, I think I just love this idealistic view of the Gundam pilots where they're all not just friends, but also comrades in arms.

Caitlin  35:33

Yeah, I mean, this makes more sense than what the show does, which is that on the show, it's always, oh, they just happen to run into each other on the same mission. And they're like, oh, who are you? Why do you have the same Gundam as me? [laughter]

Mallory  35:47

We shouldn't be fighting. 

Caitlin  35:48

But Quatre's the only one who says that everybody else is like, let's blow each other up.

Cathy  35:53

We joke a lot about how this podcast is basically us questioning the internal logic of Gundam Wing, like why would anybody do this thing where they just sent five teenagers without any knowledge that there are four other of them and just be like, here you go.

Mallory  36:07

Complete a vague unspecified mission.

Kat  36:10

I feel like fanfiction really made them way more competent. Like there's literally that whole scene where the doctors are like, "You guys fucking suck. You're not the perfect soldiers at all." [laughter] 

Mallory 36:21

"You don't know anything." 

Kat  36:22

And then in fics it's like Heero's like, "I'm the perfect soldier. I know everything! 

Mallory  36:28

"I must be the perfect soldier." 

Caitlin  36:30

Oh, yeah. Like they all seem to be much better fighters than they are in canon. 

Kat  36:36

Yeah

Caitlin  36:36

I feel like in canon Wufei is the only one who does his job. And in fanfic, it seemed like they were all doing jobs.

Kat  36:43

Trowa's maybe just doing his own thing. 

Mallory  36:46

But he's doing A Job.

Caitlin  36:47

Yeah, clowning. Trowa's job is clowning! 

Kat  36:50

Everybody got way more trauma than Quatre did in fic even though the show is like here's Quatre's biggest trauma. 

Mallory  36:58

You know, that's very true. 

Kat  36:59

Which didn't even show up in the clip show.

Caitlin  37:02

Yeah, it also doesn't really make sense that Quatre's always this really sane one in fanfic when he's the main one we've seen in canon go apeshit. 

Kat  37:12

Reading this fic and then watching the clip show, I was like, damn, like Wufei/Treize/Zechs was like it's, a whole ass universe. And it's just like, one scene in the first 27 episodes. [laughter] But what a scene. 

Mallory  37:27

Such a good one.

Caitlin  37:29

I think that it's important to note that Sunhawk passed away last year, and so we could consider this episode our very weird tribute to her.

Cathy  37:37

Yes, in 2019 in March, there was a post on Sunhawk's LiveJournal, by her daughter, who had become in Sunhawk's words, essentially somewhat of a fandom secretary for Sunhawk, noting that if you are reading this entry, now, it means that she had passed away, she had been diagnosed with cancer, like in 2015, she said four and a half years ago from the time of the writing of the entry. So Sunhawk, beginning in 2007, did a tradition where every year for the 12 days leading up to Christmas, she would post the ficlet, or fanart inspired by her fics, usually 1x2 related usually an excerpt from or like a special scene or bonus scene from one of her stories about Duo and Heero. And she continued that tradition even up until 2019. 

Kat  38:25

Oh wow

Cathy  38:25

So prior to that she had actually queued up 12 Days of Christmas for 2019, which her daughter posted. And the very last story actually was a coda for the Ion arc, which was left unfinished and her daughter finished it for her. And if you had the chance, and of course, we'll link to this, I really highly recommend you read the goodbye post from Sunhawk.

Caitlin  38:49

It's, wait, it's really good. Can I read just a little bit of this? 

Cathy  38:51

Yes, please. 

Caitlin  38:52

Before I shuffle on off, though, I would be remiss if I didn't address the fandom that I have called home for almost two decades. To everyone, thank you, I realized that we aren't as large as we used to be that the heyday is over. But I've enjoyed being here and writing for you all. And there is one thing that I've learned through all of my years, and all of my time with the fandom that I want to share that I think applies not just to our little corner of the internet, but all fandom. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it, share it. We all start somewhere. We all start with works that are horribly out of character. We write tropes that have been written up million times before. We all stare at blank canvases unable to get the lines down in a way that we want. And we all scrap ideas that we feel just aren't good enough. But a fandom lives because of the people who produce for it. And by those who come to read and view. Yes, maybe that 500 word drabble in which two strapping young men are trapped in a remote cabin during some horrible weather event and there is only one bed, isn't your best work. But what about the work after that, or the one that follows? With each creation you learn, you polish yourself, you grow. Never stop yourself from growing. Never let others stop you from growing. Share the stories you have in you. Post your heart -- Post your art, because at the end of the day life is too damn short to spend not doing something you love to do. To all of the Gundam Wing fandom and all of my friends, I want to again say thank you, reading my work supporting me talking with me, you've made my stay here a pleasant one.

Cathy  40:21

I find it really heartwarming. And one thing that I did for this episode is I went back and I read some of Sunhawk's first LiveJournal posts in 2002, when she started her LiveJournal, and even in the comments to people who were, I don't think close friends of hers, you know, just fans, she was always extremely, you know, encouraging and welcoming, and always told her fans that they should just write, you know, even if they felt like whatever they did wasn't perfect or wasn't in their words going to match up to what she did. She always told them just write it. Coming to Sunhawk and realizing that she'd spent two decades in a fandom that I think a lot of us considered dead and she was still cranking out work there and like encouraging people and being loving in that fandom, it just is it's like everything that one hopes one span that experience will be like and how they'll be remembered when they leave. Well, I want to thank you guys for joining me on this episode where we talk about, you know, Sunhawk and fanfic and being really young and on the internet with dial up. I really, you know, appreciate all of your memories, which are also my memories. And together, we'll keep Sunhawk's spirit alive. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it and share it. Thank you very much and see you in two weeks.

[pineforphantompain]

WCTH S8 Premiere ramblings

Now that season eight has begun, it has only confirmed my belief that the season seven finale was kind of a mess and didn’t end in a good place to pick up for the next season. I’ll save the bulk of those complaints for another time, but essentially it felt like the show was more interested in having a dramatic season finale than in the natural continuation of storylines. And now, as they try to continue it while neither dealing with what immediately follows nor allowing for any important development to happen off screen, that is even more apparent. 

The only exception is probably Fiona who helps at the café while deciding a new path for herself and working toward reopening the barbershop. I kind of like this direction for Fiona, and really enjoyed seeing more of her with Clara, as well as Faith, and how they get to be a part of her new venture too. It’s always great to see the girls bonding. 

The Clara and Jesse + Lee and Rosemary stuff was fine, I didn’t hate it and have no real complaints. That’s it. 

I continue to not care about Carson and Faith as a couple, but aside from that it is nice to see her back. 

Sending Lucas to Louisiana after he had just bought his partner out of a struggling oil company is an odd choice, but whatever. I did like that he was honest and straightforward without being unkind, acknowledging that his jealousy is his problem and his fault. He communicates clearly when important and apologizes well. Quite the stark contrast to the other one; Mr. Passive-aggressive-sulking should take notes. Also I love that Elizabeth was so happy to see him (and he got invited in!). 

As expected, the stuff with Allie’s father was disappointing. It wasn’t executed terribly or anything, but I was hoping he wouldn’t just be a one-note bad guy and that we would get something a little more complicated and interesting. I don’t care that much and it’s not like it was worse than expected, so it was okay I guess. Also, I might care more about the adoption if there had been any previous indication of it being important and something Allie really wanted, but whatever. 

Persistent asking has never been charming to me, so the dinner invitation was not fun to watch. However, while I didn’t like how N got her agree to go in the first place, I’m not that bothered by it, but do agree with the seemingly common sentiment that Elizabeth was kind of rude bailing on the dinner (understanding that that was not her intention, and she was as polite as she could be backing out like that when they were almost to the café). 

It’s nice to meet Helen Bouchard, I actually think her arrival has been built up to fairly well, and I hope to like her. I just hope that next episode allows Elizabeth to be shown to be at least somewhat in the wrong regarding any friction and disagreement between the two as they figure out how best to work together. 

Speaking of looking to the next episode, we’re getting the first Canfield appearance and I so hope they’re a welcome addition to the cast. I haven’t been excited for much this season, but I am happy to welcome the new family!

Favourite scene of the first episode actually goes to a N***** G**** one (surprisingly) - the part when Newton came back to him. He’s such a good, sweet horse and that scene was just lovely. Second place goes to the flirting through nursery rhyme because Elizabeth and Lucas are adorable. Also can we just appreciate that last time he was quoting a scandalous French novel, and this now it’s Mother Goose; the man has range.  

Overall the episode was fine. There wasn’t much I really disliked, but there also wasn’t much I really liked. There definitely was not enough of Florence. There never is. 

[purplesurveys]

1034

survey by tater-tots What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? Hahahaha. That’s a pass for me; I can’t imagine regularly eating fruit at any set time of the day.

Do you enjoy any food combinations that others might consider to be weird? I like to eat fish with mayonnaise, which was always normal in our household but I realized was weird when I first saw the horrified expressions on my friends’ faces when they saw me use the combination. I like mayonnaise with a lot of other foods as well, which a lot of people generally find weird.

What is a green vegetable that you enjoy eating? Broccoli and asparagus.

Name something you might find in a salad. In my salad, you’ll always find tuna sashimi in it heh.

What is your favorite type of sandwich? Anything that’s like an Eggs Benedict or Monte Cristo. 

Which condiment do you use the most often? Mayo, for sure. Banana ketchup too. I also like sriracha sauce but my dad hasn’t been buying a new bottle of it for a while. 

Name a chocolate bar that you enjoy eating. It’s called Whittaker’s - just not sure what country it hails from; maybe Australia? - and I like their peanut butter variant. Google also told me it’s a New Zealander brand.

What is a meat that you do not eat - ever. Dog or cat.

Are you lactose intolerant, or have any other sort of food allergies? I’m mildly lactose intolerant but I ignore it because a lot of my favorite foods use dairy. Other than that, no food allergies.

What was the last food that you burnt your mouth on? Just plain rice, haha. I had been extremely hungry and I just wanted to dig in; but I ended up spitting it back out.

Which brand of soup do you eat? I don’t regularly have soup, much less buy canned brands of it. 

What are some flavors of ice cream that your enjoy? Cookies and cream, mint chocolate, coffee, chocolate chip cookie dough, queso real.

What is the best type of cookie, in your opinion? I like keeping things classic when it comes to cookies, and I’ve always been perfectly happy with chocolate chip cookies :)

Would you rather have popcorn, pretzels, or chips as your salty snack? Chips. I dislike the other two as I only like the softer, doughy version of pretzels.

Have you thought about going on a diet & actually went through with it? No.

--

survey by pinkchocolate

When you woke up today, was there anything on your mind? Kinda. I felt sad and I was aware of it instantly, compared to most days where the sadness will take a while to build.

Who was the last person you interacted with for the first time? Literally speaking, maybe the barista at Starbucks who took my temperature at the entrance before I was let in the store. I interacted with her yesterday.

What colour was the wrapper of the last snack you ate? White. It’s more of a tiny bag than a wrapper, though.

Do you have a favourite mug to drink from? What does it look like? Yeah, I’ve since claimed my mom’s mug for myself. It’s a copper mug with the Starbucks label on it. It looks super minimalist which I appreciate.

What was the last thing you used, that came in a spray can? It was a Lysol spray.

What colour is your favourite bra? Don’t really have one.

Who was the last person you went to for advice about something? I think it was Andi. I’ve been going to them a lot for help, advice, extra sanity, etc. lately. If it hasn’t been for them I probably would’ve left a few months back.

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone lately? Yes. I finally met up with Gab yesterday to discuss a lot things, iron some stuff out, figure out where to go from here.

What was the last compliment you recall receiving from someone? I’m not sure, I haven’t been receiving any.

And the last compliment you gave to someone else? It was most likely a compliment for Andi on how helpful they’ve been to me.

What kind of bread did you eat most recently? Flatbread.

What was the last sound you heard, that you found pleasant? We were watching a mass livestream earlier and I was delighted when they played the closing song.

How many books do you think there are in your house? Take a rough guess. I would guess around 60, the overwhelming bulk of them mine.

Of all the books you own, which do you think has the most pages in it? It would definitely either be Gone with the Wind or Les Miserables, but I’m not sure which one is thicker.

^ And how many pages is that? I checked both of my copies and they’re soooo close – GWTW has 1,440 pages while Les Mis has 1,463.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? What did you think of it? Knives Out. I went to the mall yesterday and the cinemas were still closed, so it’s not like I’d be able to watch new movies at theatres anyway. Anyway, I’ve been vocal about the movie enough times on my surveys but I didn’t enjoy it. Whodunnits were never my cup of tea, but Gab had wanted to see it and I didn’t want to make her watch the film alone.

In the last book you read, what was the main character's name? Haven’t been reading.

What was the last song you heard, that meant something to you? Lose by Niki.

How many people do you know whose name begins with Z? I can only recall one such person at the moment; it’s one of my mom’s aunts who also doubled as a principal sponsor for my mom and dad’s wedding.

What do you expect to be doing at this time tomorrow? Maybe doing my embroidery (my package finally arrived!!) or surveys or watching Start-Up, because tomorrow will be a holiday :)

--

survey by luckforlemmy

Did you start listening to more Michael Jackson after his death? I can remember that there was definitely a brief period after his death that I caught up with his discography and listened to MJ nearly everyday; I read up on him and his life as well. 11 year old me figured he must’ve been an interesting figure because of the big reception around his death, so I wanted to know the reasons behind it.

When was the last time that you played hide and seek? I can vividly remember the day when Nina and I played hide and seek when the house was newly-built and still devoid of furniture, back in maybe ‘07 or ‘08. I’m fairly certain that was the last time I played hide and seek.

Who was your first celebrity crush, if you can remember? It was a tie between Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron, though the older I get the more I’ve been convinced that I ‘crushed’ on Zac only because I was surrounded by girls who went crazy over him in school. I’m pretty sure my first real celebrity crush was Ashley, hahaha.

Do you worry about money? Yeah, especially now. I can’t even enjoy my first paycheck because most of it’s gonna go to Christmas presents, but oh well; at least I can finally buy gifts for my loved ones who’ve always gotten me presents.

Have you ever had to beg for a second chance? Kind of, when I was trying to convince Gab to let our relationship have another shot four years ago. Beg is a strong word for what I actually did, though. It was more of me pitching the idea, not begging.

When was the last time that you sent an actual letter through the mail? I don’t think I even ever did that, not even when I was younger and snail mail was still kind of a thing.

Are you excited to return to school? There’s nothing to return to anymore. Unless I decided to take up a post-grad course in the future, I’m done with school.

Do you hate Internet abbreviations? It can just feel a bit jarring when they’re used excessively in a single sentence, but I honestly don’t mind it for the most part. It’s understandable especially now that most, if not all, of my interactions whether personal or for work happen online.

What was the last insult you gave out? I was never really the roasting type of person, not even towards my friends.

What'd you last look up on YouTube? Hahaha I looked up ‘skynwallz.’ I was looking for the episode of Rhett and Link’s vlogs where they painted the rooms of their offices in the color of their entire person – hair, eyes, and skin. They were joking about starting a new business for it called Skynwallz, so that’s what I looked up.

Are you texting someone really awesome right now? No, I prefer to be alone today.

Do you know when to be serious and when you shouldn't be? Er sure, it’s not that hard.

Do you think that you're funny? I like my sense of humor, yeah, but I know it’s not always going to translate to everybody’s tastes. For example, I’m still figuring out the dynamic in the team I was put in at work, so I can’t make the same jokes that I would normally say with my co-interns with whom I have a more comfortable relationship.

Have you ever sent a secret to Post Secret? I don’t know what this is, so no.

What movie do you really want to see in theatres right now? They aren’t showing anything at the moment. A movie I want to see badly, though, is Ammonite.

Have either of your parents shown affection for you today? My mom made breakfast for us, if it counts. She also gives each of her kids a kiss during the peace-giving portion at mass, so there’s that as well.

What's the last thing that you sang out loud? I watched Start Up before this survey and was humming to the song that was being played at the end of the episode. I couldn’t sing along to it because it was in Korean, but I knew the melody so I hummed.

Is there a word that you always misspell? Rhythm is one of my worst enemies for sure. I also have a love-hate relationship with accommodate.

What was the last thing that you bought that someone else benefited from? I met up with Gabie yesterday and bought her her favorite meal from Yabu to break the ice – menchi katsu with brown rice. I originally got mozzarella sticks for myself but when we got to talking, she mentioned her sisters at one point; I remembered how much I miss them, so I gave up my food and told her to just give my food to her sisters since I hadn’t touched it yet anyway.

Has someone ever made you a really great mix CD? Andi gave me one before she made the flight to New Zealand 10 years ago to permanently live there. I believe I still have it, but I’m just not sure where it currently is.

Have you ever been on Omegle.com? Yes, when I was a teenager and it was new.

Did you talk to someone cool there? Not really; most seem to exit our chat after we did the whole asl thing. I also avoided the webcam option because my anxiety for video calls has always been present.

What song reminds you of your best friend? Any song by The Maine.

Who was the last person to hit on you? Some creep on Facebook.

What's on the paper nearest you? It’s the guide for my embroidery kit. It tells me what stitches to do and the colors of thread to use for the different parts of the template I was provided with.

Do you have a set of lyrics that you really love? From Paramore’s Pool: “As if the first cut wasn’t deep enough, I dove in again ‘cause I’m not into giving up Could’ve gotten the same rush from any lover’s touch, But why get used to something new When no one breaks my heart like you” I scream those lyrics every time they come on. I know I often showed the good, shiny side of my relationship on these surveys; but it was very much toxic at a lot of points and those lyrics - and that song - served as a nest for me, something that told me someone understands how I sometimes felt about my own relationship.

Did you get an A in your last English class? I got a 1.25 instead of a perfect 1.00, but I think that’s still equivalent to an A so yes.

What did you last use scissors for? Cutting thread.

Did you ever secretly hate a friend of yours that thought you liked them? That makes me sound shitty lol, but yeah I’ve acted nicely to people I don’t particularly like.

What do you think of when I say "boat"? That episode of Friends where Joey bought himself a boat at an auction; and Canadian accents.

Would you ever get a tattoo sleeve? Nope. I planned on getting one as a teenager, but I grew out of that phase.

Do you know any really fake people? Yep. I think everyone’s got to be at some point.

What does the last blanket you used look like? It’s pink and has multi-colored polka dots on it.

Do you have appreciation for graffiti? Sure, especially if it’s for political purposes (that I agree with).

Why don't you drive? I do. I just have done it a lot less because I have had little need for driving and traveling to places throughout the pandemic.

Does it annoy you when your printer runs out of ink? I think we have the kind of printer that never runs out of ink, but I’m not exactly sure about the terminologies or how the technology works. I let my sister do the printing hahaha.

Have you ever drank anything from a thermos? Yes, mostly water and coffee.

When was the last time you played in the snow? Never.

Do you know any ignorant people? Sure, mostly Gen X-ers and Boomers.

What is the coolest name you've ever heard? Thylane.

What did you last argue with someone about? Relationship stuff. It wasn’t a full-blown argument, but when Gab and I talked yesterday it was natural for us to disagree on a few points.

Is there anyone that you dislike for no real reason? Hmm, I don’t think so. If I feel that strongly about someone, I usually have a reason otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to them.

Have you had a good day? It was okay; it was nice. I got to do my embroidery hoop art thing, got to watch a couple episodes of Start Up, played with Cooper, and now I’m doing these surveys and am planning to continue my embroidery later. It’s nice to feel productive about non-work things :)

Are you going to have a good night? I hope.

[whalohs]

i’m back with meta. 

( and then immediately i hecked up the tags, so deleting and reposting. sorry for the spam! )

let’s look at caleb and jester’s relationship, as mainly a retrospective of where it started. i’m also going to talk about where it has gone since, and how the heck we got here. not particularly shippy unless you ship it already (in which case i hope you enjoy the ship meta), and ready to discuss anything as long as you’re respectful about it.

as always, general disclaimer: for me, it’s more interesting for me to think “[character] would do this because [actions]”, rather than “[character] would do this because [player preferences]”. i can’t claim to know the critical role cast, and i think it does a disservice to their characters if i try to bring them in like that. a weird distinction, i know, but i always think it’s important to mention! i try to distance my meta from the cast, and take the character’s actions by their own merit. 

anyway.

for all we joke about how ridiculous jester is or how much caleb was ready to run from the mighty nein, it’s hard to deny these two had a really, really rough start. jester was everything caleb didn’t want in a person, and caleb was someone jester never... really had experience with. 

lemme explain, first with caleb’s perspective: caleb is running from trent & the cerberus assembly. the last thing he wanted was to be noticed or seen, let alone get his name out there in any way shape or form - and yet here comes the most silly, obnoxious, ready-to-turn-the-world-upside-down tiefling he has ever met, and he met molly at the same time. 

naturally, he hates it. but it runs a deeper than having to travel with someone who doesn’t give a shit about discretion when caleb is discretion personified. i think when we dislike someone, it’s because we see parts of ourselves reflected in them; not necessarily all bad, but parts we have lost, never had, or don’t want to acknowledge. 

it’s important to note that while caleb and jester are very different, there are parts that are shockingly similar; caleb started as a very hopeful, bright, and confident young man at the time he entered the assembly, not unlike where jester started in their adventures ( now is a different story, and i’ll get to that later ). they are both stubborn in their ideals and put a lot of faith in the people they care about ( caleb with nott, jester with the traveler, marion, and fjord ). 

i would not be surprised if caleb sees a little bit of his younger self in jester. but the conflict occurs where he sees his younger self as a very flawed, terrible individual, while jester is not... that. he simultaneously wants to protect her from becoming jaded (as anyone with experience tends to want to), while also knowing she could make very awful mistakes (like he did) if left alone. 

that said! jester is the way she is because she was able to foster her positivity, her hopes, and her ideals in a way that didn’t come and bite her in the ass. so it’s not “jester is caleb pre-development”, and more “jester and caleb are two different results due to different experiences from similar individuals”. unfortunately, caleb can’t think like that with the experiences he’s had, hence all of this.  

i think that it’ll make more sense from jester’s perspective: jester’s living conditions weren’t perfect by any means, but they weren’t exactly trauma central, either. she had loving, kind people in her life that allowed her to develop by encouraging what she enjoyed, as opposed to molding her a specific way. again! she was able to grow the strong parts of her personality - her hopes, her positivity, her confidence - in a way that didn’t come and bite her in the ass. she doesn’t regret anything that she did, because she has never had a reason to.

you could say that she doesn’t have enough experience to see the negative consequences of her actions, and i both agree and disagree. experience doesn’t always equate to hardships; while failure is an important part of learning, it is not the only way you learn. caleb is not necessarily more experienced because he suffered negative consequences, but because he experienced more types of consequences.

that said, she is sorely lacking in some experiences! primarily in dealing with people with different wants and opinions than her. having a loving, encouraging, but ultimately sheltered environment likely means she got to have a lot of things her way. and we see a lot of that at the start of the campaign. 

so the simplest way to say is: jester has never really had someone who dislikes her for who she is. she has never sat through a level of conflict resolution her and caleb needed, and so in an attempt to do things in the way that made the most sense for her, basically got off on the worst foot. 

and so, you know, this goes on for a while. start of campaign two is hilariously turbulent for the both of them. caleb makes nice because he sees the benefit of someone like jester in a party (and not much else), and jester isn’t going to treat caleb any differently than she does anyone else. hence, friction. 

then the money conversation / argument / caleb-smears-mud-on-his-face-out-of-spite happens. which i think really was a bigger turning point than we originally thought it would be (because the nature of the fight wasn’t too serious), mostly because caleb took forever to warm up to the party (disclaimer: i love caleb). 

it’s interesting because it’s the one of the first times we actually see... any actual conflict involving jester. most people brush jester off as the quirky weirdo at first, and doesn’t take her opinions as seriously as others. that makes sense, and jester is fine with that! but that’s what makes caleb’s reaction to jester basically saying she grew up spoiled really fascinating. 

he’s furious, and rightfully so. and caleb back then was keen on making sure he didn’t attract any attention, that unless she really struck a nerve he was just gonna nod and not think about it. but as we saw -- that’s not how it happened. i think he especially felt stung because he tried to help, because she had been distressed, but all of it backfired terribly. 

so they fight. they’re upset at each other. caleb smears mud on his face then walks away and i think it hits jester on the head that oh, what she said without thinking really did upset someone, when she hadn’t meant to necessarily make them uncomfortable. 

jester, for the limited social experiences she has, is a very empathetic person. it doesn’t take a lot from her to understand why he would have been upset by what she said, once she cares enough to consider it.

the remainder is a gradual, but noticeable change to where we are now; while it’s outdated and my opinions on details have changed, i did write a shorter meta on caleb and jester on an earlier episode point. i think the bulk of it stands true, though, so feel free to read that and then come back!

spoilers: they’re destroying me now.

a few things i did want to add: i think a lot about how out of all of the nein, the main people who notice jester’s slowly dwindling confidence are caleb and caduceus (beau, nott, and fjord notice it too, just in a slightly different way; and yasha is.... bring ashley back 2k19). caduceus pretty much has 3 million in insight so i’ll touch on that later, but fitting caleb in here is interesting!

mostly because he likely, again, experienced that dwindling confidence in finding his place in life, just in a more drastic way than jester; he pretty much hit rock bottom at the start of the campaign! he’s definitely projecting a little, but a lot of relationships are built on people projecting parts of themselves to others; it’s the easiest way to relate to another person. 

as an aside: it really is cool, and speaks to his development a ton, that caleb’s motives for helping the party have become a lot more altruistic than when i wrote the post above. he cares about them now, very, very deeply, and i have a lot of thoughts on why! this just isn’t the post for ‘em; maybe next time.

how he comforts her has changed too. before it was a lot of [ throw frumpkin at her and hope it fixes the problem ]; his attempts at bringing the party together were definitely more material in nature, compared to now.

it’s also really, really good to see jester slowly starting to see the “imperfections” in caleb ( the ones that caleb sees, anyway ), and accept them wholeheartedly. again! she is an extremely empathetic person, and once they understood each other it became a lot easier for her to actually provide the support he needed. 

it’s the subtle things; less jokes at his expense, and more ridiculous things in general. sharing porn with him because she thinks he’ll like it. and, a surplus of optimism about her outlook on life that seems to affect the top row a ton. 

they’re all in love with her. i can tell. that’s okay, jester has two hands and a tail ( i had to ). 

so, where are we now? it’s obvious enough to say that they’re friends, good friends at that! they care about each other a lot! caleb makes the softest faces at jester and jester grins so happily at him and they really do have a good thing going. 

i think the biggest change in caleb is that he trusts her enough to rely on her for things outside of her abilities. i think a lot about the conversation they had recently after talking to the scourger, and how caleb let himself be comforted by jester instead of denying her attempts completely. it speaks to the level of emotional vulnerability he is comfortable showing to the group now. 

that said: i definitely consider jester to be the group baseline for caleb. liam has mentioned multiple times that out of all of the nein, jester is the one person who he doesn’t want to share his past with. which, again, given the juxtaposition in their upbringing, makes a lot of sense! 

but the fact that he’s willing to be vulnerable with someone he didn’t want to be vulnerable is huge. the fact that he doesn’t see her optimism and ridiculousness as a weakness for the group, and instead looks to use them as strengths (how they use polymorph is a huge example) is very different than beginning-of-campaign caleb.

the biggest change in jester is that her worldview has expanded to understand what caleb needs, and how that might be different than what she needs. it wasn’t as huge strides for jester as it was for caleb, but i think that makes sense! a lot of jester’s development is internal, and reflects a lot about what she thinks of herself, whereas caleb’s development has been very external, and how he is beginning to view the people around him ( and allowing himself to be viewed ). 

but still! it’s huge! jester has two decades of solving problems a certain way, and being told that that way was all that she needed; but her ability to listen, comfort, and provide insight in ways that others in the group can’t thanks to her unique world view really helped shaped the types of conversations she had with him. 

a really, really simple way to say this is that jester started taking caleb a lot more seriously. which i think is hilarious, because you’d think that’d be more fitting for caleb’s thoughts on jester. but once she started reaching out to him to understand, the tone of their relationship changed. it seems less caleb-indulges-jester-on-nonsense and two equals who indulge each other on ridiculous nonsense, if that makes sense? 

oh that said: i do attribute a lot of caleb’s relationship changes with the party to the fact that he went through a lot of external development. definitely not the place for that here, maybe i’ll come back to it some day.

well i’m back and surprising no one i wrote like 2k words on critical role so welcome back, me. i’m rusty and rambly and i may have written things here that aren’t as poignant as i wish it was, so please forgive me if anything seems off!

[ilikepipecleanerswitheyes]

criminal minds finale: my thoughts

so, i’ve now had some time to process the finale in full and wanted to talk about how i felt about it!

so overall, i liked the finale! it’s definitely not up there with my favorite tv finales, nor did i think it was like a spectacular ending but it was good. let’s talk about that good stuff!

one thing that made me happiest was seeing penelope do something more for her. honestly, with how positive and full of light she is, it makes me surprised she was able to handle the job for this long. the more i think about it, the job just wasn’t her niche. the people, the team itself, is of course her family, but there was always something really disheartening about penelope being exposed to so much darkness, and seeing her find a position helping people in a more relaxed environment is really great to see!

also her and luke!! it made me so happy to see that become a thing. i was never garvez train at the beginning honestly, but i was towards the end. their interactions honestly give me life, and garcia hasn’t had anyone in quite awhile so it made me really happy to see that become sort of canon, (long distance?)

and the lynch showdown! it was pretty damn epic. i lowkey didn’t know anything about his storyline since i didn’t see his original episode, but i knew of it through wikipedia descriptions. he was a good villain but somehow i feel like he wasn’t quite that memorable? maybe if it was kind of like a replicator situation where the bulk of the season was focused on him it may have been better, but that being said there were limited episodes and i understand that. i guess my nostalgic ass just misses the more compelling unsubs like frank, foyet, or billy flynn. they just had personalities that had me more and more rooting for their death. lynch was creepy af sure, but he didn’t have that “final unsub” energy for me i guess? that being said, i really enjoyed their showdown, and the jet being set ablaze is one hell of a final way to end it. 

this may or may not be unpopular, but i actually really enjoyed reid’s brain haze. “in a coma/nearing death + seeing hallucinations” type scenes are my abssolute favorites. i’m a sucker for them, especially after the recent bojack ending. his interactions with foyet were great honestly, makes me remember why he was such a great unsub. and his interactions with maeve...uGH so sweet and beautiful. i was never a maeve fan, but seeing her as a source of survival and comfort in reid’s head was very sweet. i loved her reminding him the world is not always a horrible place, because the darkness associated with his job undoubtedly shrouds his life a lot. my favorite part of their conversation tho is when they talked about reid’s potential and his passions. seeing him talk about all the things he loved was so heartwarming and makes you realize how great of a character spencer is. he’s just an incredible person with so much talent and so much to give to the world.....which sort of leads me into what i did not like.

i’ll not to knock off too many points for predictability with the finale because i think we all know at this point the show has always kept it safe, not usually taking massive risks (not necessarily a bad thing). some of the character’s endings felt very unfinished and almost unsatisfying to me. not even in an “open to interpretation” kind of way either. just like, their ending didn’t make sense for them.

let’s begin with emily. i will say, i did not ever get around to watching 15x08, but from what i understand a lot of it was centered around her and her offer for fbi director and jj as unit chief. this tease had me excited because both were incredibly fit for their possible promotions (including jj’s new orleans offer), then in the episode they’re just like, “something happened that wasn’t your fault so no promotion for you” to emily?? it made me really upset how they glossed over that so fast. one thing this show has done that constantly frustrates me is its ability to hype up a major plot point, and either kill it abruptly, or flat out forget it exits (more on that later). i understand her next phase of her relationship with mendoza is something to be celebrated, but i would have also liked to see a purely emily win? if that makes sense lol? just a big change that wasn’t relationship involved i guess. 

^ and her ending also ties in with jj’s. no promotion for her either i suppose. honestly feel like her storyline barely shifted outside the whole thing she had with reid. seeing her be recognized for all her talents and work and go beyond just special agent would have been great to see. 

matt, luke, and tara, not much of a change of for them, but i think where they are is appropriate for them. they’re newer characters so i wouldn’t expect any big promotions for them, although an update on matt’s book deal could have been cool and garvez moment was sweet <3

rossi! oh my god. this was one of the more annoying parts for me. again back to the whole teasing thing with the writers. they tease an idea that honestly makes perfect sense, and don’t carry it out. the whole “we’re a family” thing is cute, but i think characters need to be able to exercise a bit of “nah fuck family i matter too”. rossi’s moment of saying he was finally retiring was so freakin’ sweet. he’s a relatively newly married man, he’s just (or so he thought at the time) caught the man he spent so long hunting. he’s literally past retirement age. he needed to turn over that new leaf, and seeing him suddenly go “oh yah i’m staying” especially after his wife almost got killed by the serial killer he spent so long hunting (AND FINALLY, ACTUALLY KILLED) was really disappointing to me. there wasn’t really as a justifiable reason to keep him in the bau besides that cliche one he gave. so i was very meh about his ending.

lastly, my fave, spencer. his ending was very mixed for me. i both liked and didn’t like it. right off the bat, imma just acknowledge how annoyed i am max wasn’t even brought up in the finale. i understand she wasn’t a serious gf, but i would have even taken maeve given reid her “approval” to date her and saying she likes her,, heck even csi ny did that. she was involved in a huge scheme with his arch nemesis like two episodes ago so uhhh some acknowledgement of her existence would have been nice, even in just a verbal mention. the thing that mainly confused me was his conversation with maeve about passions. i am curious to see how others read it, but i totally saw it as him taking his talents to new places, aka leaving the bau. maybe it’s too much of me to ask for 3 bau members to leave, but i feel like an additional member leaving after a brain injury and one being past retirement age would have been perfectly reasonable lol? i am glad he’s doing some teaching, but seeing him leave the bau altogether would have made more sense in my mind.

i think that pretty much sums up all my main thoughts on the finale. if you actually read me ramble for this long, honestly god bless you. and before you leave, do stream my finale crack vid <3