#i did want finland and sweden to end up in the top two together so at least i got that but hhhhnnnnn wrong order

[multiakimo]

i definitely think that if anyone deserves to be the first woman to ever win eurovision twice its loreen, but bro.... not like this 😭 

käärijä is the real winner this year, fuck the international jury

[tmblrvision]

Tmblrvision 2021 Head of Delegation Intentions Survey RESULTS!

As is now annual tradition, you filled out a survey which looked at your intentions to participate as Head of Delegation (HoD) for Tmblrvision 2021. You were asked which countries you were interesting, as well as some additional questions that would help shape the contest.

This year, 29 of you filled out the survey. Last year, I received 35 survey responses and ended up with 41 participants. If I set the range to ±6, that means I should anticipate between 23 and 35 participants this year!

Most of you who filled out the survey are previous HoDs, but as always there's room for new faces around here!

I'll start off with the results that y'all are probably most looking forward to: Which countries are y'all gonna go for?

Top 11 Most Wanted Countries

At the top of the list this year is United Kingdom, though (SPOILER ALERT) there may be more opportunities to claim that one, so who knows if the battle will be as difficult as you anticipate. Italy, Sweden, Australia, Finland, Ukraine, Belgium, and Ireland were all amongst the most wanted countries last year as well, with Germany joining the group. Many of you are also aiming for the Special Guest spot, despite not knowing which options are available, which is interesting. Finally, quite a few amongst you don't really know what to go for, which is fine! Maybe the results of this survey can help. (Also, if you need ideas, join the Tmblrvision Discord server, get the song suggestions role, and look through songs that have been suggested by others!)

Other Popular Countries

18 countries in all had at least two people thinking about claiming them, including countries we did not see last year, such as Greece, Austria, Hungary, and Malta.

Less-Wanted Countries

22 countries had exactly one person thinking about claiming them, and if you're one of those people, maybe you're best off going all in on them! These countries include four countries which have won Tmblrvision: Slovenia, Israel, Algeria, and current winner Luxembourg! Also, someone's interested in the Vatican... I wonder what they have in mind?

Unwanted Countries

The list of "unwanted" countries is once again not very surprising. Smaller countries (such as Andorra and Cyprus), the Caucasus (Azerbaijan and Georgia, both of which were last seen in 2018), and MENA countries (Tunisia and, surprisingly, Turkey) were on nobody's minds out of people who filled out the survey. Maybe someone can find a hidden gem for one of those countries!

Special Guest Country Poll

Here are the results of the Special Guest Country poll! Only one country didn't get a single vote, and while there were clearly three tiers of countries based on number of votes, the Top 5 was never in doubt. Because there's a tie, and I can't be bothered to find a way to break this tie, all five countries are now eligible to be claimed if someone picks the Special Guest Country. These countries are: Brazil, Canada, Kosovo, New Zealand, and USA! As always, if one of these countries is claimed, they will be ineligible to be the Special Guest Country for the next two editions.

Which Platform Will We Use?

A majority of you use Discord (89.66%) or Twitter (79.31%), with less than half of you still using Tumblr (37.93%). (One person uses Reddit!) Also, a majority of you said that you would participate in Tmblrvision if we used Discord (86.21%), and more than half said Tumblr was fine (65.52%). Despite its wide usage, only 37.93% of you would participate if we used Twitter.

In line with that, Tmblrvision will remain hosted on Tumblr, with important things such as sign-ups and song reveals going up on this page before anywhere else. However, the Tmblrvision Discord server will also continue to be an important part of the contest, with most communication happening through that platform. In addition, the rule requiring participants having an active Tumblr account will be withdrawn this year. You will be allowed to participate as long as you're an active member of the Discord server. More specific information regarding this will be included in the rulebook for this year.

Also, I asked for your suggestions on what to rename this contest, but most of you said to keep the Tmblrvision name. Since Tumblr will remain the contest's home (at least in terms of where most of the content is), we're keeping the name! Thanks for your suggestions, though. Some suggestions included:

EuroFan Song Celebration

Europalvision

Renvision / euRENvision

Recapvision

PollDaddyVision

Brian

Should the United Kingdom be split up into its constituent countries (England, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales) for Tmblrvision?

This was asked a few years ago and the results were highly mixed. This time, it seem like a large majority of you want it, so: This year, you will be allowed to claim England, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales! Eligibility rules for each country will be the same as every other country, meaning that if someone is eligible for England, they are probably not going to be eligible for any of the other countries.

Should Belarus be allowed to participate given its broadcaster has been suspended by the EBU?

This one was also a resounding YES. We will be using the white-red-white flag for Belarus this year.

When Are Sign-Ups?

Sign-ups for the 2021 Tmblrvision Song Contest are on Saturday, 10 July, 8pm CEST and will run for a maximum of 48 hours. Time and date are subject to change in case of anything important that pops up but this will be communicated to you ASAP. Last year's winner has yet to inform me of which country they're claiming so... hang tight. Also, if you've never done this before, you'll need to put this date and time in your calendar and be quick: Last year, I received 33 country reservations within less than three minutes of the link going up (Tumblr posted the scheduled post about two minutes late). Don't believe me? Here's the timestamps...

One Last Thing...

...I thought this would be a fun time to reveal the logo and the emblem for this year's contest!

The slogan, Resplendis pour nous!, is inspired by a lyric from Luxembourg's first Eurovision winning song, "Nous les amoureux", which won 60 years ago. Incidentally, outside of the Special Guest Country, there are 60 countries eligible to participate at Tmblrvision (including the four constituent countries of the United Kingdom), which is why the emblem consists of 60 different circles coming together to represent a glowing sun.

See you in July!

[scarlettlillies]

Hetalia - The Last Night

Back in 2019, I had written a fic under the same name for Nordipalooza but I wasn’t happy with the ending I had made. Finally after almost two years, it’s finished! I wrote around five or six different endings but none of them seemed to mesh well with the story. While I’m not 100% satisfied with the outcome, I like this ending a lot more than the last one! I'm very happy I can finally cross this fic off my to-do list.

This fic is set around September 1939. The original prompt for this was "Finland, Any character - Final meeting". Both characters are brothers in this.

If you prefer to read this at Ao3, you can click the link here.

Summary: Finland and Estonia meet up for drinks at their usual spot in Tallinn. But Finland can't shake off how cold his neighbour is acting and Estonia avoids any attempt at setting the record straight.

-----

In a dimly-lit bar, they share a drink together. As chatty as everyone is, their voices are low and soft while the mood is somber at best. There are few smiles as a singer in the background reminisces of a long lost love. Finland though is in his own world and pulled out a case from his chest pocket and offered Estonia a cigarette but the man declined.

“C’mon Estonia, live a little. I bet you’ve never smoked a day in your life.”

“For your information, I live a fulfilling life and doing just fine without them,” he laughed. “Besides, smoking too many of them will kill you.”

“Details!” Finland said before he lit up a smoke. After taking a few drags, he let it lay against a glass ashtray and placed the lighter next to it. “It isn’t like we can die anyways.”

That got a chuckle out of Estonia when he placed a finger to his lips, “Shh… don’t say that out loud. No one is supposed to know about that.” With a few friendly jabs back and forth, their conversation quickly died and the two men were left to sit in an awkward silence that had Finland feeling out of place. It wasn’t normal for their conversations to just dissipate like that. He watched Estonia’s mannerisms closely as he took a few more drags of his cigarette. The man was staring mindlessly into his liqueur with an expression that would rival a grieving widow. Finland was beginning to lose his patience. In a move that was out of character for him, he smacked the table with such force that Estonia jumped from his seat and startled the folks at the surrounding tables.

“I didn’t sit on a boat for two and half hours to watch you stare at your drink all night.”

Finland’s tone was harsh and Estonia stared at him like a deer in headlights, “Uh, right, I’m sorry.” he replied as he turned his head looking rather embarrassed. Finland quickly returned to his usual self when he realized what he had done. He rubbed the back of his neck feeling rather guilty. He couldn’t believe he lost his temper like that.

“Estonia, I’m so sorry,” he said apologetically. “It’s just—I’m worried about you right now.”

“I know, I know,” Estonia replied. “And you don’t need to apologize. I should be the one apologizing. I’m the one who invited you and yet here I am being a bad host. Let’s restart this from scratch shall we?”

Estonia lifted up his drink up and with a grin he proposed a toast, “To friendship and brotherhood.”

Finland was impressed just how quick Estonia changed his entire persona. He was dying for a topic change and was delighted to put all of this in the past, for now at least.

“To friendship and brotherhood!”

Estonia seemed to be loosening himself up after having two drinks as they chatted about everything under the sun. Finland went for sports and his adventures of playing catch-up with Sweden. Meanwhile Estonia talked about music and his fascination for the sciences. Even as the patrons slowly emptied the bar and the shows were ending for the night, they continued on as if the world around them didn’t exist, ordering drink after drink. Finally at one in the morning, the owners grew tired of them causing a ruckus. One of the men, who spoke Estonian with a notable accent and dressed in an expensive blue suit, announced they were closing shortly and the two of them needed to leave. They didn’t contest and Estonia paid the bill. They stumbled out of bar, laughing at the top of their lungs, and their arms entwined. The owners had never been so grateful to see someone leave as the man from earlier locked the door behind them.

Estonia walked Finland back to his hotel. He felt guilty that he couldn’t house him but Finland didn’t seem to mind. It wasn’t Estonia’s fault that he lacked a spare bed and there was no way he was going to let Finland sleep on the bedroom floor. The rooms in Tallinn were cheap, cozy, and it suited his needs just fine. Finland’s feet were killing him but luckily his hotel wasn’t too far from the bar they spent their evening at.

The air felt like winter was just around the corner and Finland hated it. It was made worse when the mood between them had also reverted back to how things were at the bar earlier in the evening. Estonia insisted it was because he was tired but Finland was not buying it. He doesn’t press him about it however. He doesn’t want to end their stellar night on such a sour note.

When they had arrived to the old-style wooden hotel doors, Finland was taken aback when Estonia showered him with so much open affection. Estonia wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in for a warm and familiar embrace.

But his hug felt different than usual. He had felt this kind of hug before—on the night he and Sweden said their goodbyes before Russia took him away to Saint Petersburg. The memory of the mighty Sweden failing to keep his composure; his tears stained his shoulders as he whispered “I’m sorry” over and over in his ear, was one that he’ll never forget for eternity. It was only ten years ago that Sweden had opened up to him that he truly felt that he was never going to see Finland ever again.

Now, it was Estonia’s turn. It was one to feel it from Sweden but Estonia was his brother—his best friend. They had spent so many centuries apart even though they lived under the same ruling powers. Sweden would tip-toe around the rules to keep him comfortable. Russia, on the other hand, had given him more freedoms than Estonia ever hoped to have when he began living under his roof—though he later realized this was only because Russia feared he’d rebel in order to return to Sweden. But now that they were free together, Finland couldn’t bare to lose Estonia again. He wouldn’t let that happen again.

Finland noticed the sorrow in Estonia’s aqua-coloured eyes when he had pulled away. Though he promised himself that he wouldn't push the issue, Finland can't let it slide any longer.

“Estonia, please talk to me. You haven’t been yourself all night.”

There’s a long and lengthy pause, and Finland never got the answers he wanted. Instead Estonia avoids the question entirely. He shouldn’t have expected anything less from him. Estonia always tip-toed around questions he didn’t want to answer by changing the topic or continuing on as if nothing happened. The man had such strong walls that few could tumble down.

“Thank you for such a wonderful evening. Promise me we’ll do this again?”

“Of course. But—”

“Excellent. I’ll be looking forward to it,” Estonia grinned. “Please send my regards to Sweden the next time you two meet.”

He stuffed his bare hands in his coat pockets and Estonia turned to walk away into the night. Finland however was quicker and grabbed on to Estonia’s right arm with a tight grip.

“Wait!” Finland cried out desperately. “Please stay the night with me. It’s late out and there’s nothing running at this hour. My bed is big enough for the both of us.”

Estonia turned his head back with a smile. It’s not the kind that Finland wanted—it was somber at best—but it was still a smile.

“I’m flattered but that’s not necessary. Don’t worry, I’ll be alright. Tallinn is pretty safe at night.”

In a move that surprised Estonia (though it probably shouldn’t have), Finland yanked him backwards by pulling him by the arm. They grew closer as Estonia could feel Finland’s head pressed deep into his upper back. Quiet sobs could be heard and it was cracking Estonia’s hard composure. He hated seeing others cry but hurt more when it came from the ones he loved most. He tried to rationalize himself that all of this was because Finland was tired and a little drunk. But even that couldn’t get Estonia to believe his own lies.

“Please talk to me,” Finland softly repeated, in between sobs. “Whatever it is, I won’t judge.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Stop lying to me.”

Estonia hung his head low and bit his lip for a brief moment. He opened his mouth, took a breath—and then nothing. One half of him wanted to spill his emotions out. But no matter how much he tried, the other half was too stubborn to admit the truth: his freedom was at jeopardy and he was too ashamed to admit it. The war brewing in the west will not spare them.

The only thing he could muster up was a warning—

“A word of advice: if Russia comes to your door, don’t answer it. He’s the devil in disguise.”

Finland’s eyes opened wide when Estonia used all of his strength to pull himself from his friend’s grip. Without looking back, he ran as fast as he could through the streets of the downtown without a word. Hotel patrons arrived to their windows startled when Finland yelled out his name loud enough that his voice had cracked. He couldn’t get the energy to go after him and stopped after making it a few blocks away from the hotel. He watched helplessly as Estonia disappeared further into darkness.

To say his words hadn’t struck fear into him would be a lie. A warning from Estonia was never to be taken lightly. The man seemed to carry a sixth sense and could feel danger approaching long before it would take place.

It really did feel as if this was their final night together.

And in the end, Finland never slept that night.

He stood up in his bed until dawn smoking each cigarette, one by one, until his case of eight was emptied out. The sun was beginning to rise though its light was stuck behind dark grey clouds—a fitting end to his time in Tallinn. He watched attentively at the dead streets of the Old City through the dirty hotel window while the radio cycled through various soft jazz tunes. It was an easy distraction to keep his mind from replaying the events from last night.

It was nearly six the morning. He had to get himself ready or he’d miss the cruise back to Helsinki. He was still dressed in the clothing he went out to the bar with, minus his jacket which had been tossed on to a chair at the room’s entrance, but he made sure to clean himself up. He hardly recognized himself in the bathroom mirror. His light blond hair looked ruffled like a bird’s nest while his eyes looked dark, heavy, and blood-shot. His white-collared shirt was wrinkled from front to back and his suspenders were barely hanging on at the edge of his shoulders. Finland looked as if he aged by at least five years. He wasn’t sure why he bothered splashing water in his face—it didn’t fix the bags underneath his eyes. But at least he felt a little more refreshed as he dried himself off.

His belongings were packed and he pulled the wrinkles out of the bed he ended up never sleeping in. After calling for a taxi, he carried his heavy bags down the long-winded wooden stair case to the small lobby. Finland was ready to pay his bill but the young clerk had mysteriously disappeared. He lightly tapped the silver bell for service. It was there on the counter where Finland saw a copy of today’s paper and he grabbed it to have a closer look. He had suddenly lost the colour in his face when he saw the solo photographs of Estonia and Russia’s bosses side by side. His eyes read the black bolded headline and Estonia’s words rang in his head like a broken record:

If Russia comes to your door, don’t answer it. He’s the devil in disguise.

If Russia comes to your door, don’t answer it. He’s the devil in disguise.

If Russia comes to your door, don’t answer it. He’s the devil in disguise...

He understood everything now. It won’t be long that he’ll be next in line. He was always Russia’s favourite after all.

[anotherescsite]

The Eurovision Song Contest we had to have

The journey from Tel Aviv to Rotterdam was an unexpectedly long one. Who knew that when Duncan Lawrence raised the trophy in May 2019 that another Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final would not take place for another 736 days? Having to wait such a long time between two Eurovision (excluding 2 x Junior contests) was excruciating, soul destroying and plainly depressing. And just like that, Eurovision 2021 has come and has now gone.

As the title says, it is The Eurovision Song Contest we had to have. It is a bold statement and I considered it for a day before putting it there. In reflection the song contest in Rotterdam was a wonderful event for many reasons which I’d like to discuss a bit. So this may take a while, but bear with me and hopefully, I’ll make it worth your while.

THE HOSTS

Four hosts was two too many, but let’s talk about them. Chantal is beautiful and the most professional of the foursome. Jan was the token male and while his performance was contained to a very small potion, it was nevertheless, fine. Edsilia was much more chilled than I expected and provided a warm presence amongst these people. Nikkie was probably the most down to earth of them all, possibly the most personable, but also somehow cold.

In actually effect, while there were four of them, they worked. No one took a lite load but they each had an equal presence in the show. As many other people have mentioned, everyone would have preferred more Edsilia and Nikkie to Jan and Chantal, but I’m not terribly fussed. They were all well practiced and very on point for the event and as a viewer I was pleased by this.

THE STAGE 

Like most Eurovision stages, they do not look like anything unless you turn on the lights. That was definitely the case for this one. The lights were on, the stage sparkled, and the stage was alive in every way that it was asked. The screens provided everything that were needed for each of the songs and other performances. The transparent screen in the middle of the venue added so much to some of the performances and was the masterstroke that made some of them visually exciting.

There was one thing about the stage that felt like they were reminiscing stages of the Dutch past. I felt a hint of the Amsterdam 1970 stage on the sides. I don’t think it was a co-incidence, but I liked the fact that the paid homage like that. Everything else was state of the art.

POSTCARDS

The postcard films were well put together to present a place in the Netherlands, a tiny house structure with items that belong or relate to the act coming up and then a green screen appearance of the act in the tiny house. 

While the postcard as a whole were well put together and cleverly created, I felt I missed out on seeing more of the Netherlands because they were focused more on what was coming and less with the airport, the canal, the lighthouse, the field, the tulips and whatever else was presented. So it’s only a small thing in a small film, but I wanted more of a Netherlands tourism experience in the films.

THE INTERVAL ACTS

It’s a funny thing about this year’s interval acts, and to be completely honest, I happy about it. If you asked a fan about Eurovision 2014, people will say that they remember ‘Love love peace peace’ and Justin Timberlake. In 1994, people remember ‘Riverdance’. In Tel Aviv, there was Madonna. I like that the intervals this year did not overshadow the entrants to the song contest. They were a time filler, a light refreshment and then it was over. For the most part well performed, entertaining and gone before you know it

I recall there was something about water in the first semi final, there was a dancer and a bike in the second, the former winners sang on Rotterdam buildings and some unifying song and dance. Nikkie did some little films about losing, and behaviour in the green room during voting. All were quality performances that were well constructed, organised and presented. They held the viewers attention while we waited for the votes to commence/announcement of the qualifiers and because they were each engaging, they seemed to go quickly.

THE OUTCOME

In most cases, things went as expected in the semi finals. Fans were disappointed with Croatia not qualifying, but I don’t think the betting had them qualifying. Romania was expected to qualify, but Roxen could not sing the song and move at the same time. Ireland suffered the same fate with an impressive staging. Semi final 2 went as expected as well; maybe Austria was expected to get through in place of Albania; i disagree.

The results/placings in the final were a bit of a surprise to me, but there was one certainty for me and that was that Italy deserved their win. There is a very simple reason for it’s success too. It’s not that it was a loud song or that the song was outlandish, or the way they were dressed. The reason that Italy won was that the performance of the song was a natural performance. I’m sure there was choreography of movement, but they were not outside of what they usually do. There was no gimmick, no dance routine, no green screen to worry about, no spinning diamond or large gimmick hanging from the roof of the stadium. It is also why the French entry was such a success and for a lesser part Iceland and Ukraine. Finland and Portugal also presented an entry that was in essence what was expected for that type of song.

Switzerland was a vast success in my eyes. They rolled the dice and they came up on top with the juries. Switzerland have rolled out a prop in the past to highlight a song, but this year they added lighting and camera work to add to the tension of the entry and it worked. Gjon looked a bit clumsy at times, but it was  excellent captivating three minutes.

There were some countries that were dependent on a large prop. Some were there to attract votes as they went with the song while others to distract from it. Russia and Cyprus had several well placed props that worked well and were relevant to the song. Greece had a large invisible prop that made what was a good song appear like a joke entry. Malta had a prop that didn’t make sense to the entry being performed. Bulgaria’s rock was both inspirational and strange to me. Moldova’s revolving diamond worked for her also, but it was just a surface to perform choreography on. 

I want to spend a moment of praise on Serbia and Belgium that had very different performances, but appropriately performed. Serbia took their sexy manic, hair choreographed selves all over the stage gyrating and moving like they had drunk 15 cups of coffee. Belgium, on the other hand, was very intense and sedate in their presentation mainly because most of them were playing instruments that were unmovable. 

Of the countries that retained their choreography from a national final, other than Iceland, was Lithuania. They had varied it only very little from the national final and in their case, the performance was crazy perfection to match the theme of the song.  I was disappointed with Norway, Azerbaijan and Sweden for retaining almost identical choreography to their songs from the film clip/national final, but I wasn’t a big fan of either song in the final. They seemed tired in appearance and in formatting. Azerbaijan needs a further slap for submitting their 2020 song with a new name.

I feel some disappointment for a few of the entrants. I’m going to start with the United Kingdom. Poor James Newman. He had a thumping good song that fans liked. There was enthusiasm from the fans that the UK would do better this year and they did worse. What I find astounding is he does not appear to be a shy person, yet he allowed someone in the United Kingdom delegation to produce that choreography, that outfit and those props for that song. To my ear, James sounded sad and dejected in the final and I was unbelievably disappointed that they didn’t score something from somewhere.

I’m disappointed for San Marino too. Senhit has showed she is a class act and has spent the last year enthusiastically covering Eurovision songs. But at the song contest, she appeared to be a forgotten entrant. Even with the addition of Flo Rida did not give the song some cred. I have a recurring image of Senhit’s shoulders slump and physically shrink on hearing that her efforts accounted for 50 points.

I’m also disappointed for the Netherlands. They most likely did not want to host again and it is a sad curse that countries that host usually end near the bottom of the scoreboard (excluding Super Sweden). But to score so terribly for what was a gloriously performed entry was unconscionable. I praise the Netherlands for choosing such a wonderful cultural performance for the stage.

At the bottom end, Spain and Germany had very different entries, performed with contrasting enthusiasm and it got them both a very low level of support. Spain had the most tired song that was boring as all hell and the presentation of the entry gave the audience nothing in return but a large grey beach ball in the sky. Back to the drawing board?  Germany was destined to fail in March. The charisma and fun of their film was completely missing from the staging and it was never going to go well.

Albania had the misfortune of being ignored, given a terribly bad draw for the second year straight and not given anywhere near the appropriate amount of votes required. Anxhela gave a good stylish and appropriate performance. She was on-point vocally and in her performance on stage.

Israel, on the other hand, was a spectacle. The song was kind of meh, performed with a lot of choreography to distract from it. She did a whistle note; so? I’m sure she had to get noticed somehow with her t-shirt dress, her nude illusion reveal and the headdress she stole from reigning RuPaul Drag race winner, Symone. (Did she not no know where she was coming and who would be watching? Picked that up immediately)

IN CONCLUSION

There is one other things that I have not mentioned so far and it only occurred to me after re-reading some of the above comments. The Dutch were very time conscious. They said they were keeping the final under four hours and they pulled it in and got it done. In my opinion, it was a Eurovision that was very breezy, and very light experience because while the experience of Eurovision was 8 hours of your week watching the shows, this year did not seem like an ordeal. I felt that the shows progressed quickly without fuss or propaganda. As a package it came together well across the board.  

It was a good Eurovision year and had something to cater for the taste of everyone. Some songs were not suited to everyone, but that happens. Below is how I saw this years song’s after the three shows and believe me I have changed it a few times before settling on this list. Looking at it, I want to move them around again.

So that’s it. Next year it will be somewhere in Italy; maybe Turin, maybe Rome, Milan or Bologna. It won’t matter. Feel free to comment, complain, debate. I’m happy to back myself and for you to convince me otherwise. I haven’t got anything else to do. : )

[krypteretnetwork]

Camp NanoWrimo April 2021: Day 22

Word count: 1299 (21491 total)

    Unfortunately, however, even with as much as she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to envision anything with Denmark.

    ‘So it can’t even be done when I want to see something,’ she thought to herself, letting out a heavy, exasperated sigh. ‘How annoying…’

    She did her best to keep her dismay at a minimum and just tried to enjoy the situation at hand: living and let live; just trying her best to relax a little bit ever since the incidents had started to unfold.

~~~

    “Because I, like… don’t fucking want to go home? God, what is wrong with you? Where is your common sense?” snapped Alleos into the phone. A few more days had passed since Alleos had come to stay with Norway, and Sweden had finally given her a call. As she spoke, Norway nodded as a form of encouragement- as much as it felt strange for her to be acting like this on both of their ends, it was just… how she was in this world.

    “It has been almost two weeks since you left… Alleos, I would appreciate it if you came home. Even if it was just for a few days…” While Alleos was unbelievably difficult to deal with, he still cared for her and wanted to make sure she was alright.

    Alleos sneered. “And for what reason, exactly? For you to yell at me for shit that thing pulls?” by ‘that thing’, she was referring to the other micronation that resided within his country.

    Rubbing his temple, Sweden sighed. “He is out with Finland for a while. Please at least consider coming back, even if it is just for a few days…”

    Upon hearing that Ladonia was in fact gone for at least some period of time, Alleos relented. “...As long as he doesn’t fucking interrupt anything, I guess I’ll go back… but only for a little while.”

    “...Thank you. I look forward to seeing you again, Alleos.”

    “Whatever,” and with that she hung up, looking over to Norway.

    He nodded. “You did well…”

    She smiled in a bittersweet manner. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this… I never liked Ladonia in any of the other worlds, but still… he at least would mind his own business to some degree… not go after the network and such…”

    Patting her shoulder, Norway offered her a faint smile that he hoped she would find assuring. “I’ll be here if you need any help…”

    “Thanks… I guess…” Alleos let out a sigh, a wave of sadness rushing over her.

~~~

    As she approached the house, Alleos felt a little bit intimidated. So far, she’d only had one encounter with Sweden in person- and it was the time that she’d woken up from having been really sick for… an amount of time that had still gone unspecified. Regardless, she was feeling well now, or as well as she could feel with everything going on.

    Entering the home, Alleos was rather quiet- almost suspiciously quiet. She was facing away from his general direction as she was taking off her shoes and getting her house slippers on. Poking his head out from the kitchen, Sweden nodded at her. “Hello, Alleos. I heard your eye is doing better… how do you feel?”

    Upon hearing his voice, the micronation jolted a little bit. She just barely glanced in his direction before staring directly ahead of herself, a blank expression on her face.

    ‘Just act edgy… or something like that.’

    She wanted to cringe at the thought of that. Not only for the obvious reasons but also because it just felt wrong. While her connection with the Swede in the Icelandic world was rather minimal, he was still kind to her… and he was especially kind to her when she was a Finnish micronation. Such a drastic change was something she was having trouble accepting, even if she had time to practice it.

    “Fine, I guess…?” she made sure to have a bit of a snappy attitude as she spoke.

    ‘Shit, even with practice it’s even harder to execute in person.’

    Although the Swede suspected something was up, his gaze softened. “I see… that is good. If you want to come help me with some cooking, you are free to.” He desperately wanted to spend some time with her, which was partially why he’d sent Ladonia off to spend some time with Finland.

    Alleos’s eyes narrowed as she peered back over to him. “...If that fucker is gone, then maybe I will…”

    Hearing this surprised Sweden. While she was indeed being snappy and rather standoffish, she was never this calm and relenting. However, he just nodded, even though she could no longer see it. “If you do wish to join me, you are welcome,” he reiterated before focusing on his work once more.

    On top of just wanting to spend some time with her, there was something else on his mind regarding a large project he knew was coming up. He was aware that Alleos enjoyed helping out in the workshop at first;that she enjoyed doing her own thing in the workshop nowadays. She seemed quite skilled at the projects she’d do, and so he was wondering whether or not she’d be willing to help out. However, this was a proposal he planned to drop on her later.

    Much to his dismay, though, she wound up not coming down to help him. With a heavy sigh as he finished preparing dinner, he got a plate for her. It wasn’t like he’d expected her to actually join him.

    Alleos sat rather quietly in her room, staring over to the drawer she knew had her drug stash in it. From what she gathered, she went pretty hard in this world… it made her wonder if she could really even get by without partying or something here. She figured she could just go to Norway if she was really in doubt… right?

    Then came the knocks on the door, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Uh, it’s open…?” she said, her brows knitting together.

    To have her invite him into his room was just another surprise for the Swede. Reluctantly, he entered her room, looking around before placing the plate off to the side on her desk. Leaning against her dresser, he looked over to her, his brows knitting. As he stared at her, she just stared back, her eyes narrowing.

    “Can I help you with something? I’m doing… stuff here…”

    “I am just delivering dinner to you… is everything alright? How do you feel?” his own eyes narrowed before he just spoke up directly: “You have been acting strange ever since the infection.”

    Swallowing heavily, Alleos felt herself growing irritated. Maybe this feeling would help her play the part better? “Uhh, yeah, and? Is there a problem with that? Maybe I’m like, doing better physically, but… some of the numbers can take time to fix themselves…” She felt marginally better with that performance.

    Although he felt entirely unsure, even with her assurance, he just nodded as he tilted his head. Something was up alright, but he didn’t know if it would be a good idea to pry. “I see… if you say so, then.”

    “Do you like, need anything else?” her irritation was growing that much more apparent.

    Shaking his head, Sweden moved a bit from his spot. “I do not. I will leave you to it, then… do whatever you must to make sure the network is alright.”

    And with that being said, he left the micronation to her own devices, feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach. Something was up with her, but that’s all that he knew. He was unsure on prying due to her tendency to have explosive reactions. Despite being used to her reactions, he still felt reluctant… why?

[emikochan]

Nordic 5 with the s/o wanting to learn their language but with a slight twist, the s/o wanting to try and learn their language but they fear they won’t be able or good enough to if that makes sense.

I'm so hyped for this. Thanks for the request, Cat-chan!🌸

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Norway:

"You can do this, (y/n)."

"Hell no, Lukas. I'll make a fool out of myself"

You crossed your arms in front of your chest in a protective manner. Today, the market place seemed to be louder than ever before. It seemed to be buzzing with life and it was loud. What if the old man at the candy stall couldn't hear you and you had to repeat yourself awkwardly? What if he understood the wrong thing and accidently had you insulting his mother or something like that? The risk of messing up was just too damn high.

"Just go for it"

"No!" Cold fingers suddenly entangled with yours and you looked up to see him right by your side, looking down at you.

"We'll go together. If you mess up, I'm right there to correct it. You don't have to be afraid."

With a gulp you snuggled a bit closer to Lukas' side and you two approached the friendly old man, that welcomed you two with a warm smile.

"Hei"

"Hei" your eyes scanned the cute wooden boxes that were filled with sweets. They finally locked with the cute fish shaped candy that Lukas adored so much.

"Unnskyld, hvor mye koster det?" ( Sorry, how much does it cost?)

"20 stk koster 5 kroner" he replied and you felt Lukas' hand squeeze yours as an encouragement to go on.

"Det vil jeg gjerne" ( I'd like to have that) you felt a bit of sweat form on your forehead as you flashed him an unsure smile.

The old man nodded and packed your candy in a cute bag before handing it over to you. You gave the good man his money, bid him farewell and took a deep breath as you two went on your way.

"You did well, elskede." Lukas' lips had the softest tug of a smile at their corners and you felt your heart soar, a triumphant smile coming around your lips as well.

~~~~~

Denmark:

His lips covered your neck in thousand kisses. His breath sent shivers down your spine every few seconds and his soft touches left you yearning for more.

"Jeg elsker deg, (y/n)" he whispered and your clouded mind contemplated on wether you should say it or not.

Mikkel went on to whisper way more intimate things, that usually didn't show that much of an effect on you, since you couldn't understand a word. Today you blushed a bright red though.

Struck by surprise your eyes widened slightly. You actually understood some bits and pieces of the dirty things he growled. During the last few weeks you wondered if your lessons even had any effect on you but it's good to know that all of your efforts weren't in vain.

Maybe you weren't doing as bad as you thought you did?

Having enough of him being so cocky, you placed both hands on his shoulders and flipped him onto the bed with you on top of him.

"Hvad siger du, skat?" (What are you saying, darling?" you asked with a smirk and had the confident Dane under you with his eyes wide as little plates and an open mouth staring up at you in awe.

Mikkel didn't let you leave the bed that night and continues to beg you to speak more Danish even weeks after that.

~~~~

Sweden:

You actually caught him by surprise when he talked to his boss on the phone. He was so occupied with his thoughts that he accidently talked to you in Swedish.

You just finished your lessons for that day and were just as occupied with your thoughts as he was, so you replied in Swedish without even noticing it first. It took Berwald a few seconds after hanging up until he truly realized it.

"(y/n)? I didn't know you picked up so much Swedish." You blinked until the realization hit you too.

"Oh... well... it wasn't that good. I'm suprised you actually understood me." you started while fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

"No, you almost sounded like a native. You're doing very well." he simply stated.

A straightforward man that states the blunt truth. That's why you loved him and his compliment made you smile brightly.

"Tak för det" (Thank you for that)

~~~~

Finland:

What on earth have you done to yourself.

Your hands were clasped over your head, smoke seemed to come out of your ears and your tired eyes could barely focus on the sheer endless lines of words and phrases that literally never.found.an.end anymore.

You were literally "Vapisee kuin haavan lehti" – which is something like "To tremble like the leaf of an aspen tree" or something around that gist- God you don't even know anymore.

"Rakas, are you finished with that project of yours?" A certain Finnish man peeked behind the opening door and found your exhausted body slumped over the desk with big tears swelling up in your eyes and his smile instantly fell. He came rushing to you in an instant

"Oh Hani, what's wrong? Did...did the project go so bad?"

You couldn't answer as you began to sob uncontrollably, the deep feeling of disappointment rising up in you since you totally failed to learn Finnish. Even the basics were too difficult to keep inside that damn head of yours and it just frustrated you to no end.

His hand was quick to rub your back in a comforting manner, while his other hand quickly ripped out a tissue from your desk's tissue box. His eyes fell on the several pieces of paper that lay spread all across the wooden surface. He instantly recognized it as his mother tongue and his eyes widened in astonishment as he noticed your handwriting, that apparently wrote all of those texts and notes down.

"Finnish?" he asked and picked one of the sheets up to examine it closer.

"Puhutko suomea?" ( Do you speak Finnish?) he asked you softly and you simply shook your head.

"I tried, ok. I tried but I just don't get it, it's just too much."

He frowned but it was directed to himself, not you. He nodded and pressed a kiss on your head as he continued to skip through the papers that you finished during the last hours.

"Rakas, you don't have to do this for me. I know how hard my language is, you don't-"

"But it wouldn't be fair! You learnt English and it would be just to at least try and learn your language too!" you exclaimed and he was taken aback for a second before smiling softly.

"Calm, sweetie, calm. How about we take a break today? Let's do a fun trip tomorrow and learn some easier vocabs than this."

That sounded good enough for you to finally calm down, go downstairs to sit on the couch with him and sob your heart out on Tinos shoulder. You confessed your frustration, hate and insecurity towards this new challenge and Tino listened and responded with nothing but reasurance, compassion and love all night long. He'll help you, don't worry.

~~~~~

Iceland:

Gosh, that dude started getting on your nerves. He was really testing your patience with his endless pestering and horrible pick-up lines in broken English that just made you cringe.

You just wanted to wait for Emil to come back from the bathroom so that you two could finally go the rollercoaster but this random guy just wouldn't leave you alone. His English was so bad that he didn't understand your rejection completely and just went on with his pestering, so you had nothing to lose, right?

You had enough.

"Ég er giftur! Drullaðu þér í burtu!" ( I am married! Shit yourself away/Beat it!) you hissed and the stranger took a few steps back before throwing his hands up in the air and finally disappearing.

You huffed and hoped he got the message, Emil most certainly heard it.

"What got you so worked up?"

You turned around in shock and instantly felt shame coming up in you as you locked eyes with the familiar pair of violet orbs. You wanted to improve your icelandic in secret and eventually surprise your beloved boyfriend by saying something nice to him and now the first things he ever heard you say in his native tongue were horrible swear words.

You sunk your head in shame.

"You know, we're not married...yet. But I liked that part very much" he said while placing his gloved hand on your chin to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry. I...wanted it to be perfect when I talk to you" you confessed with sadness still lacing your beautiful voice.

"Sounded perfect enough. Now let's go" Emil wrapped his arm around your waist and gently guided you away from the bathroom stalls.

He's really, really proud of you; don't think he didn't mean what he said simply because he kept the same expression the entire time.

[gigi-sinclair]

It’s @ferrame‘s birthday!!!!!!

If you don’t know, this is the author of the definitive John Irving/Tom Hartnell modern AU, I dreamed of the fine deep harbour I’d find, as well as the entire Another New World series, which is A-MAZING.

As a little birthday gift, I have the first part of an untitled Irving/Hartnell plane crash AU I will likely never finish, and which was going to be super sad if I did. (Hint: Tom’s brother died of cancer several years before the story is set.) Rated M for a bit of naughtiness. 

Happy Birthday @ferrame!

Tom arrives at his parents' house just as the snow begins to fall.

Betsy is the only one of the kids still at home, but their parents still decorate as much as they always did. The same wreath—faux pine branches with Styrofoam apples and wall-eyed wooden birds—is on the front door. The same string of multicoloured bulbs hangs from the eaves. There is a new addition: a wire-framed reindeer lit up in the middle of the front garden, snowflakes landing on its back, its antlers, its festive red scarf. With a smile, Tom raises his hand to ring the bell.

It seems the polite thing to do, given he no longer lives there. When there's no answer, he slips his key into the lock. The hall is in darkness, but firelight flickers from the direction of the front room. It sends out shadows, dancing on the floorboards and on the opposite hallway wall.

“Hello?” Tom hangs his coat on a hook, and puts his scarf on top. He kicks off his boots, then lines them up carefully against the wall. He didn't live with his mother for twenty-one years without learning something.

“Tom? We're here.” A voice comes from the other room, where the firelight glows. Tom follows it, his socks sliding on the wooden floor.

This room is also decorated, of course. The tree is short and scraggly as always. Betsy is the type of person who chooses that type of Christmas tree. Its spindly branches sag beneath the weight of half a dozen childhoods' worth of handprint ornaments and painted baubles and twinkling lights. Up top, an angel with a paper cup body and a golf ball for a head surveys all.

“Hey! What took you so long?” Tom's brother Johnny says. He's lounging on the sofa in tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt, his feet up on the coffee table and an open tin of Quality Street chocolates on his knee. Tom stops. He can't quite remember why, but he didn't expect to see him here. His presence is a surprise, but it's not the biggest one.

“John?” At the other end of the sofa sits John Irving, formal and tidy, his feet on the floor. He's dressed nicely as always, in a knitted jumper and corduroy trousers. “Like you're fifty years old,” Tom often teases him, but in truth, he likes the look. It suits John. Tom can't picture him wearing anything with an elastic waistband. “What are you doing here?”

John and Tom weren't going to be together over the Christmas holidays. They decided that weeks ago. “I have to go to my dad's,” John had said.

“Maybe you could drop by our place on Boxing Day,” Tom offered. “Or I could come to you.” It was worth a shot, even though John's reaction was exactly as Tom had expected it to be.

“I'm so sorry, Tom.” He seemed it. “It's not that I'm ashamed of you.” Tom knew that was true. “It's complicated.” That was also true. Tom knew he was lucky, as far as families went. They drove him mental most of the time, but there had never been any question of acceptance. From the earliest days, Tom knew there was nothing he could do, no one he could be, that would make his family love him any less.

John, it seemed, couldn't say that about his father and stepmother.

“You didn't tell me you had a posh boyfriend,” Tom's brother accuses, unwrapping a chocolate from its crinkly purple paper.

“I'm not posh,” John protests.

“Oh, no. Of course not.” Johnny laughs. “'I say, old boy, would this happen to be the residence of one hot piece of arse known as Sir Thomas Hartnell, Esquire'?”

“Shut up, Johnny.” Belatedly, Tom's heart soars. “I can't believe you're really here, John.” He goes around the sofa to sit beside him. “What made you change your mind?”

John licks his lips. His cheeks are pink, from the fire or from embarrassment. Tom knows John well. It's probably embarrassment. “Christmas is about love. I decided I wanted to spend it with the person I love the most.”

Tears prick at the back of Tom's eyes. He has more questions: does that mean he came out to his parents? How did they react? Tom's not sure he wants to hear the answers, or if John wants to share them now. Instead of asking, Tom kisses him. His hands go to John's strong shoulders, his thigh presses against John's. John kisses him back, softly and sweetly, with all that natural talent that made Tom doubt, the first time they did it, that John was really as inexperienced as he claimed to be. “Why would I lie about being a virgin at my age?” Was John's counterargument. Tom didn't have an answer for that one.

“Right, then. If it's going to be like that, I'm fucking off out of here.” Tom hears Johnny stand up. “And I'm taking my chocolates with me.”

“Bye,” Tom says, his lips still against John's.

“Don't come on the sofa,” Johnny warns. “Mum will kill you.” John's cheeks go from pink to scarlet, even as Johnny leaves the room.

“Ignore him,” Tom advises.

“He's...”

“An arsehole.” But Tom loves his older brother. He can't believe he's here, and John as well. It's going to be the best Christmas ever. “He likes you.”

“How can you tell?”

“He only takes the piss out of people he likes.”

“Oh.” John's eyebrows furrow, adorably. Tom kisses the spot between them. He lets a hand slip beneath John's jumper, tracing the muscles of his abdomen and his chest. That was a very pleasant surprise. Tom knew John was kind, and sweet, and as handsome as fuck from the moment they met. He hadn't known John was built until the first time they had sex. Which had happened to be John’s first time. 

John presses closer as they kiss again, exploring Tom's mouth as he slides his own hands up the back of Tom's hoodie. Tom pauses just long enough to pull it off, tossing it aside. The fire pops. John startles a little, and Tom laughs fondly.

“He's right though,” Tom admits. “About the sofa.”

“Oh. I, I, I...”

“So I'd better swallow.”

“Tom!”

Tom wishes he had a bearskin rug. John deserves decadence like that. Instead, Tom kneels on the beige Berber carpet, urging John to slide his hips forward. Gratifyingly, his cords are tented already. Tom reaches for his belt, and John lets out a groan that goes straight to Tom's own cock.

“Tom,” he repeats. John unzips him. The fire is hot at his back, warming him. The lights on the Christmas tree cast a festive glow on John's cock. “Tom,” he moans.

“Yes.”

Again, “Tom. Tom, stay with me.”

“Always,” Tom promises. He shivers as he takes John's cock into his mouth. And shivers, and shivers, and shivers.

“Tom!”

First, he notices the smell. Fire. Real fire, burning wood, not like the odourless gas fire at his parents' house. The cold is next. He's lying on his back, wearing a coat that doesn't feel like his own. It's big and bulky, but still, the cold permeates, making him shake.

The dark is the last thing. He opens his eyes to see nothing but black.

“Tom.” The voice says again. He doesn't know it. “Are you awake? Thank Christ.” Whoever it is sounds genuinely relieved. A pinprick of light pops into Tom's field of vision, cutting through the darkness. There's a man beside him, standing over him, holding up the overbright light of a mobile phone. He's got blue eyes, and a large gash on his forehead. Tom doesn't know him. There's a polar bear pin on his jacket. That, Tom recognizes. He can't think why.

“Where am I?” Tom's voice is weaker than he expected. He clears his throat. “Where...” It doesn't help.

He's lying on a bench of some kind, an uncomfortable sofa or chairs, but he's not inside a building. It's far too cold for that.

The man sighs. He looks tired, that's obvious even in the thin light. Tom feels tired, too. Maybe he should go back to sleep.

“You need to stay awake,” the man says, as if reading Tom's thoughts. “ What do you need? What can I get for you?”

Then, Tom remembers. Everything comes back in a flood, the dam broken by those few words. Tom wishes it hadn't been.

***

“What can I get for you?” The flight attendant smiled at Tom from behind his drinks cart. He was good-looking, Tom noticed, in his navy blue suit and red tie. His name tag read “Thomas”, and there was a pin on his lapel shaped like a little polar bear.

“Coke, please,” Tom said. He glanced beside him, to where John slept against the airplane window. “And a water for him.” He would want something when he woke up.

Thomas shovelled  a scoop of ice into a little plastic cup and poured half a tin of Coke on top. He passed it over, carefully avoiding the man on Tom's other side, then gave him John's cup of water and two packets of biscuits.

“And for you, sir?” Thomas turned his attention to the other man in their row, the one in the aisle seat. He was dark-haired, with thicker sideburns than Tom had seen on anyone for a long time. He’d spent most of the time watching what seemed like a home improvement show on his tablet.

“I'll have a gin and tonic.”

“Certainly, sir.” Thomas poured the drink as Tom fought to open his biscuits. Thomas gave the other man his cup, followed it up with a quick kiss to the man's forehead, and continued down the aisle.

Tom didn't say anything. Growing up in a big family, he'd become an expert at minding his own business. Still, the man beside him said, “That's, ah, that's my, um, my husband.”

“Ah.” Tom nodded.

“We're going on our honeymoon.”

“Congratulations.” Tom didn't really want to continue the conversation, but he said, “In Toronto?”

“We're flying on from there. To Nunavut.”

“So are we.” It was a longstanding dream of John's to see the northern lights. They'd talked about going to Finland or Sweden, but he wanted to do it in northern Canada. It was a big trip, and an expensive one, but the look on John's face when Tom agreed to it made it all worthwhile.

Almost. There was an engagement ring burning a hole in the pocket of Tom's carry-on bag. That would make it extra worthwhile, but he wasn't sure about it. Rather, he wasn't sure how John would feel about it.

Tom wasn't sure what else to say, so he put his earbuds back in and picked up his phone.

Tom hadn't flown that much. Of the two of them, John was the more experienced traveller. He didn't seem nervous when the plane started to shake. Nobody did. Thomas' cheerful voice came over the intercom informing them Captain Crozier had turned on the seatbelt light, and asked them to return to their seats. John, who had been in line for the toilet, came back grumbling, but he didn't appear worried. Obediently, he buckled his seatbelt, a moment before the plane dropped what felt like a hundred feet in one go.

That was when John started to look a little nervous.

As a concerned murmur ran through the crowd, the man on Tom's other side unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up.

“Thomas!”

“You should probably sit down,” John advised.

“He's married to one of the flight attendants,” Tom explained. Thomas had likely been standing up. He might have been hurt by the sudden drop. Tom wouldn't have been that inclined to sit down if John was in that position.

“Still,” John insisted, “you should...”

Another drop, although this one was less severe. Someone screamed, then someone else. More than a few began to cry. The man beside Tom stumbled, and sat down again.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Thomas' voice returned on the intercom, as smooth as before. So he's okay, Tom thought. He was glad of that. It would suck to be injured on your honeymoon. “Please stay in your seats. We'll be making an emergency landing in Gander.”

The murmuring didn't abate. John reached for Tom's hand, and squeezed. “That's not so bad.” John’s voice was calm, reassuring. Steady. “We saw 'Come From Away', right?”

[bruntriceballs]

Hetalia Xmas Event

December 16 Prompt Decorations/Presents/Traditions

Man has it been a while since I have written anything for the Hetalia fandoms. But I did this and I am super excited and proud of it because it has been forever.

Main character: Human Female Iceland and Human Sealand

Side characters: Human Female Hong Kong, Human Female South Korea, Human Seborga, Human Ravis, Human Norway, Human Denmark, Human Sweden, Human Finland.

Things to watch out for: mention of a car crash twice and implied death.

Summary: Emila and Peter spend another Christmas together.

Emila grew up in Iceland for the first ten years of her life, she knew that she had a brother out there somewhere. But for the first ten years it was just her and her mother. Emila always longed to have the family that her friends had over for Christmas. She wanted the big family dinner, decorating the tree with the brother she never met and cousins she only ever heard about.

Then she did get it. Yes she moved to Norway, and then to Denmark later, but she did get the big family Christmas she wanted. Her Christmas was now filled with the family she always wanted. It was tradition to get together with her extended family, though they left decorating to just her immediate family. Which consisted of her parents, her brother, her brothers best friend Soren, and her cousin Berwald and his husband Timo. Of course there was also herself, and later Peter.

As she grew older, as she made new friends, she added more traditions to her Christmas. Some changed over the years, skyping her friends turned into eating and exchanging gifts when they started to live together. Her friends turned into a family, a family away from family as it were. They supported her when her family didn’t. Even if her idea of wanting to finish high school in Iceland was a little out there.

In the end she did her last year of high school in Iceland, even if she didn’t spend Christmas with her family. She stayed in Iceland for college, and another year of Christmas before she was able to come over for Christmas. Being with her family again felt wonderful and the then twenty year old even met with her cousins kid that.

Christmas ended up being the one time a year that she would see her family. Between college and working she spent most of her days in Iceland, the only down time she would have was spent sleeping. And she only got about three to four days off to visit her family. Emila was happy though, and after moving into an apartment with her friends, they had started a tradition of going out to find the perfect tree and decorating it before she left.

Then tragedy struck. Emila had already been home for a day, leaving behind her family to take a trip to her grandparents in Norway. So when she gets a call from an unknown number she knew something happened. In the living room of her apartment, in front of her best friends, she was asked to come back to sort out papers and medical information.

She did, but not before asking about Peter. Peter was bruised, someone had protected him against everything. She made her way back, taking the next flight back and calling in favors to get her next three shifts covered. Emila got there in time to get custody of Peter, just before he was put back into the foster care. She wasn’t as close to Peter as say her cousin Ludwig and Lilly due to age, but there was no way she was letting the government take him. Peter had lost his first family, he wasn’t about to lose his second. Even if it had gotten smaller in such a short amount of time. Even if she probably wasn’t the best person to take him in.

She was twenty-three then, and it was hard, especially when Christmas came around they next year, but they made it. Making some traditions that was just between the two of them and keeping others that reminded them of family. But those thoughts were for later. Right now they had to pick out a tree and Peter needed to come down so they could get going.

Emila looked towards Peter’s room with a raised eyebrow, usually the fourteen year old wasn’t this lazy, so to say, when he knew that they were going out. Just when she was about to call out for him to hurry up, he started to come down the hall. A camera, one that Natalia gave him last year for Christmas after he expressed an interest in them, hanging around his neck.

Peter looked up, then down red dusting on his cheek, before looking up again to answer her unasked question. “Niccolo wanted to see pictures of Iceland in Christmas, so I wanted to make sure that I got the good pictures.”

Leona, standing next to her wearing three layers and ready to brave the ‘ass freezing cold’ as she like to call it, nodded. “We’ll have to get them developed so we can put them in an album.”

Peter brightened up and smiled, something she was glad for, no matter how many years passed she knew that there would always be lingering sadness around this time of year. But if Peter can smile, then she can smile too, because it means that he was healing. She shook her head and got Peters attention.

“You ready to go?”

“Yup!”

“Good.”

They all piled into the car, Peter and Min-seo in the back with her and Leona in the front. It only took half an hour to get to the tree farms, not long due to the early morning, and they parked and got out quickly. Peter looking around with his camera up to his face, she smiled at him when he focused on her. A click and shutter sound later had her shake her head and Peter looked up and smiled at her. Min-soe and Leona, the dramatic people that they secretly, or not so secret in some cases, were demanded that Peter take pictures of them too. Her something of a nephew slash little brother obliged and started taking pictures of the to as they waking up to the trees

Peter stopped when they started to split up, Peter staying with her while the other two went off by themselves. He could have gone off by himself, the tree farm wasn’t that big and she trusted Peter enough to be good and take care of himself, but he didn’t. She didn’t say anything, only let the younger one wrap an arm around her when they were alone and ruffled his hair.

It didn’t take them too long to find ones that they all liked. They had gotten here early enough that they basically could pick any that they want. So the four of them converged back to the front and started to show off the ones that they saw. A vote, and a call to Ravis who would be getting back sometime tomorrow, helped them pick one that looked full and was tall. Not all enough that they couldn’t fit it in their house though.

Getting back it took some cordenation to get the tree in the house but they did get it into their living room. Leona and Min-seo making sure that it won’t fall down while Peter and her went to find the decorations. When they had them all in the living room the two of them shared a grin, it was amusing to watch the other two putting up the tree. Mainly because they always started arguing about how straight it was.

Before they started Emila had Peter help her make a batch of hot cocoa. This had become a tradition long ago when she was his age, having hot cocoa as they decorate the tree. Usually it was her mom making it, now it was her and Peter. She wanted to be sure that when he was older, off living with by himself or with his own family, he would know the recipe. So she made what was really a one person task into something that the two of them could do.

They walked out into the living room, each holding two cups full and topped to everyone's preference. The tree was up now, and the boxes were opened and the decorations laid out. She handed out the cups and then took her own from Peter before looking around.

“Shall we start?”

Peter shook his head, “We have to have music Aunty.”

Emila nodded and hid a laugh, “Of course, of course. How about you pick some out?”

Peter nodded and jumped his way to the speaker, she sneakily took her own phone out to take photos. She might not be his father, not even his mother. No that honor went to her beloved cousin, but one day maybe the rest of their family would wake up. And she wanted to be ready, ready to show them how their littlest one had grown.

Later, when they have the tree nicely decorated, Peter will put the star on top. Later, the two of them will go out and enjoy the cafes and live music. Peter will take pictures of the city to show Niccolo and she will take pictures of Peter. They will skate a little bit and make their way home, and while everyone else is either out and about or asleep they will call Soren.

They will ask about Lukas and Berwald, the only two survivors of the car crash that took her parents and Timo. They will talk, Peter will fall asleep and then she will talk some more. After that she will hang up and help Peter get into bed before cleaning up the kitchen and then prepare it for tomorrow's cooking. Then she two will go to bed, curl up and hope once again that her brother and cousin will wake up. But that’s for later, for now music plays and laughter sings across the room.

[melekseev]

so i FINALLY bring you my esc19 toplist, all under the cut, with short comments.

also be aware i literally... enjoy my top 31. so twenty something places might sound bad.. BUT THEYRE REALLY NOT, I JUST LOVE A LOT. i went into this year thinking it was weak, and then after i had this playlist on so much, hello, i love a ton. nevertheless, just my taste and opinions and good luck to all of them~

1. France ABSOLUTE KIN G stuck in first place because this is undoubtedly my most listened song this year, and i'm absolutely hooked on it. i am somewhat worried about that coming revamp, but. but i fcking love this song, and he improved those vocals like d amn 2. Russia i.... am in love. every time i hear this song it gets me into that sort of dramatic ecstasy and it's so big and beautiful that it just... it kills me. i die. thats it 3. Italy soldi is still my jam, and i adore it to bits 4. Slovenia this masterpiece is one i just want to protect. so soothing, i LOVE listening to it, it's just ethereal 5. Netherlands this song, at one point, was almost at every possible spot on my list from middle to top 15, but then it stuck with me and now it's utter love 6. Hungary i adore his voice, no bias. his whole vibe, his unique delivery and technique, that folky sound, like... yes please 7. Switzerland i am not ashamed to say i am utter trash for this song. every single part i love about this. like holy shit, this time switzerland better make it thEY EARNED IT 8. Australia she is QUEEN, i considered dropping it from my top 10 when trying to readjust ONE TIME and upon relistening i instantly was like "okay no way it's going anywhere", i just unironically love it a LOT 9. Norway actual legends... this song just cheers me up to SUCH an extent! love the joiking... i love eveything, bless you norway 10. Belgium at first, i had issues with it, because i wanted a bigger drop near the end, but now i'm just absolutely... in love... it convinced me. the instrumental, the building up, the dark undertone, just. i adore this 11. Poland oH I LOVE THEM SO MU CH. li s t en. i can't explain it, but they give me like a lowkey vibe of soft punk-rock theme but also like...?? japanese pop?? but no, it's polish and slavic and traditional and i'm really really vibing with it, because some of it is familiar from my own culture, and these girls S LAY 12. Albania albania always delivering those vocals.. i love the mystical vibe with the ethnic sound, it's simply gorgeous 13. San Marino can you believe i unironically HONESTLY thoroughly enjoy this song?? serhat is an icon, but his voice actually really fits with this song and i always get super into it. i'm so happy this exists lmao 14. Azerbaijan i'm very very much into this song, and i'm EXTREMELY curious to see how he pulls this off live as it seems to be such a radio song, but i have hopes. i just dig it, like... like a LOT 15. Czech Republic this is the most chill song this year, and despite the silly, easygoing lyrics it's just... extremely fun, and it's been my jam since it came out 16. Croatia listen. l i sten. i love... theatrical. i love big strong voice explosions. this CHILD is talented as fuck. i know many people hate this, but the song actually grew on me, and then today i just honestly love it. i wish the whole song was in croatian, but even with the not so great lyrics, i'm eating it up and singing along. i know he won't make it, but oh well. it's okay Roko, i love your voice and song 17. Armenia i really love this one, too. she convinced me further in amsterdam bc she absolutely killed it (although i feel like she had a nervous slip in the very beginning) but then after that.. holyshit. such a tiny girl with such a huge voice 18. Spain honestly, if you tell me earlier it would end up this high at one point i wouldn't believe you.. i never /hated/ it per se, but i also wasn't really impressed or as into it as most people were. i think the revamp was the one that convinced me in the end, because it forced me to face the fact that i do honestly enjoy this more than i want to. also now im nostalgic towards anything spanish, even if its different, bye 19. Finland yes, this might be nothing special, but i just... enjoy it. i genuinely do, and there are certain parts i especially love, and so therefore. like. yes. 20. Estonia as much as i didn't want to like this originally, i do. like, i really do. it just happened, and i'm not mad about it 21. Romania this song is a big grower for me, and to this day the more i hear it the more i get into it still 22. UK Michael's live delivery elevates this otherwise not so amazing song like... so much. i feel like the UK does tend to send songs with this particular theme, but i actually enjoy it quite a lot when he's doing it live. his voice is impressive, and so... here he. 23. Sweden these two ^ i always moved around together for some reason, as if they were linked, which might be because John wrote both songs, although i learned that later(??? but in the end, i feel like i prefer UK a bit more. this is also really good though, it works, and it has a great vibe for esc 24. Portugal so this one slipped quite far off, as with time i sort of lost the enthusiasm for it. i still find it unique and enjoy it nevertheless though, so it could definitely be worse 25. Greece i'm in quite a pickle because after not necessarily being super into this song, i started to really like it (VOICE, BRUH) but then the amsterdam concert happened. I KNOW she was sick, though, so i sort of have this on hold. if she delivers later, which i'm sure she will, she stays, but if not, this might drop a few slots 26. Lithuania this is another song that just makes me happy and makes me smile, and i can't explain it. i love lionboy. i'm just here for it 27. Serbia her voice is quite literally pristine, i love that she's singing in serbian, and i do appreciate her a lot as i honestly enjoy this song when it's on. it tends to slip my mind, though, which i hate it does, because it's beautiful and i'm rooting for her 28. Cyprus super unpopular opinion, but i actually like this a lot more than Fuego, and don't necessarily compare the two. HOWEVER i do kinda feel like i'm seeing the same thing from the same country, like, immediately after, which makes me a little less excited about it, oof 29. North Macedonia see, the message is very nice. the song actually grew on me a bit compared to the first time i heard it, but i still just... wish it was better. i like it overall, but it's just about pushing it 30. Israel he's actually very talented and on point vocally. the only reason it's not higher is simply because it's just not really my style, but it's one i still appreciate on stage 31. Georgia there is something about this that i like. i respect him, and when near the end there's sooo much power, then especially i really dig it 32. Montenegro the revamp did help them quite a lot, but overall it still kinda feels like a high school chorus, and i'm just not really for it 33. Moldova her voice is really nice, and despite how i found it just... done several times and kind of boring (oops), her live made me appreciate this just a bit more 34. Ireland i feel like this song is just kind of... there, for the sake of being there. it's not even bad, it's just... meh? 35. Malta that chorus is a major turn off for me, and it's neeeearing that point where a song just starts to annoy me... which i feel like is worse than simply not liking something, so it's on thin ice 36. Austria first of all i think her voice is very lovely. BUT... after about the 4th yo-o-o-ouh it does tip and starts to annoy me, which i wish it didn't, but... but it does 37. Belarus i wanna talk about how they had a huge shot with Michael Soul, but i will not go down that road and focus on Zena. this song just feels like a mess to me. like... a young britney spears song, but bad. i really don't get the appeal, at all 38. Latvia hhhhhhh. this one annoys me so much, i just can't begin to explain. it's flat, repetitive, and the chorus (??) fries my nerves in a matter of seconds, IM SORRY 39. Denmark oof... o o of. i don't want to be rude but basically this feels exactly like what you'd expect a junior eurovision song to be like.... except those are actually better. it's just... no. no. way too much sugar. it’s all just... no 40. Germany speaking of songs that annoy me? i feel like this is definitely the one i can't stand the most. *screeches* SISTAH x4 41. Iceland listen i'm not going to talk about this for long but basically i really heavily dislike this for a few reasons and can never listen all the way through without like.. suffering. the funniest thing is that i love the beat. but then.. the singing (NOT even the style) it just. it makes me angry, cuz this could be good. but it's not. also i don't like the pretend-gay stuff. but that's just me

[taste-in-music]

My Favorite Songs of 2018 by Genre

There was a LOT of music this year that I still wanted to talk about but didn’t get put on the other posts I made, so I decided to put yet ANOTHER list together. (Read my top albums and EPs of the year lists if you want some context.) Buckle up, because it’s going to be a long one, folks. Here are the rules for eligibility:

The songs on this list most likely a) weren’t on an album that I loved in its entirety/didn’t feel that strongly about, b) were on an album that I didn’t have time to listen to, or c) were released as singles. 

No songs from the albums or EPs I’ve previously mentioned are eligible. 

I’ll try my best not to include singles that are for albums coming out next year (for example, I’m not putting Light On by Maggie Rogers or Party For One by Carly Rae Jepsen on the list.) Those songs will be eligible if I do a list next year. If I accidentally do put an album single on the list, it’s because I didn’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, presented in no particular order, let’s get to some tunes.

POP

Used to You by Dagny: If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I’m obsessed with Norwegian pop star Dagny, who I learned about through a recommendation from a friend. This song is one of her best: uptempo but melancholy, with honest, vulnerable lyrics about a strained relationship. 

Crush by Tessa Violet: On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we’ve got a bubbly sugar-pop song about having a crush on someone. It’s quite simple as to why I love this song: it’s just so joyfully adorable.

Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max: Okay, why is this not a hit the U.S.? It’s already gotten to number one in Norway, Finland, and Sweden, and is making a splash in the U.K. While I’m iffy on the lyrics, this song has one of the catchiest hooks of the year. It’s a giant guilty pleasure of mine. 

Sucker Punch by Sigrid: This was named the eighth best song of the year by Time magazine and it’s easy to see why. It has all the elements that make up a Sigrid song (catchy melody, her signature raspy vocals,) but has just enough quirky touches and eccentric details to it that set it apart from the rest of her discography. 

Do Right by Glades: Glades are so underrated, and I’ve mentioned them in a bunch of posts before. This song is them at their best, with one of the stickiest choruses of the year and a sweet synth riff. 

Batshit by Sofi Tukker: I first heard this song in an iPhone commercial, oddly enough. I’m not going to say that this song is good, because I’m fairly sure that it isn’t good. The chorus is literally the word “batshit” said over and over and over again. But somehow, it’s perfect? It’s simple while at the same time having so many cool elements that it’s never boring. The funky bass riff, lowered vocals, electronic drop are all so infectious. Sofi Tukker are my guilty pleasure band, so check them out if you’re into strange dance club music. 

Chasers by Bahari: This pulsating, electronic groove from California based trio (now duo :/) Bahari is like a dangerous lullaby. The twinkling production and harmonies keep the tone tense but enjoyable. I hope they release more music soon. 

Cause You Did by Willa: Willa exploded onto my radar with her powerful, ass kicking anthem Swan, which she released back in 2016. I was so excited to see that she had released new music. This song is a bit different from her previous work, swerving more into the pop lane, but is still charming as hell. (Fun fact, she was in an episode of Supernatural. 10.13 Halt and Catch Fire. The more you know, am I right?)

San Francisco by Fickle Friends: This is my favorite song off of the Broken Sleep EP (I think it’s an EP? It’s only three songs... Check it out regardless.) Fickle Friends’s sound is so summery and tropical, it never fails to put me in a good mood, and this song is a perfect example of that. 

F**k U by Kailee Morgue: A whole tell off anthem. Like her other material, this song balances darker material with a sweet and innocent sounding vocal delivery. Just make sure you listen to the uncensored version. Listening to the clean version is like listening to the radio edit of IDGAF by Dua Lipa or “Forget” You by CeeLo Green. It has no bite to it without the title word being said.

Emotion by Astrid S: When I first heard Such a Boy, I knew that Astrid S had the potential to be a pop starlet in the vein of Zara Larsson. This song is a lot of fun, with a whistling hook and Astrid S’s usual sassy delivery.  

Cherry by Rina Sawayama: This is a whole BOP, from the whispery intro to the rushing production to the melodic, get-stuck-in-your-head chorus. This song is much like its title suggests: bright and sweet with just enough of a twang to keep it interesting, just like a cherry. 

Baby Don’t Talk by LÉON: Of the two singles she released this year, I can’t help but like this one a little bit more (but don’t get me wrong, Falling is a whole bop and a half.) This song is just so likable, from the snappy percussion to the “ooOOooOOhs,” to the unforgettable melody. LÉON is so underrated, I can’t encourage you enough to listen through her three EPs and other singles. They’re all gold. 

Daughter by L Devine: I can’t tell you how shook I was when I first heard this song. It’s L Devine at her finest, with a catchy melody, relatable lyrics, and just the right amount of electronic elements. This song is the wlw bop that no one’s talking about that everyone should be talking about. 

Carousel by Skylar Spence: I found this gem thanks to Spotify’s Indie Pop playlist. The pulse to this song always makes me want to tap my toes. It’s like if the color yellow was a song. The lyrics are super cute, and the glitchy, robotic chorus just works somehow.  

R.E.M. by Ariana Grande: While I found Sweetener as an album a bit uneven in quality, it’s still by Ariana fucking Grande. She could sing What’s The Fox Say and it would sound beautiful. This track is my personal favorite, with the cute little “bum bum bums” and the all around dreamy atmosphere. There’s also a funny amount of self awareness in this song, with the whole “’Excuse me, um, I love you,’” and “does this end?” It adds a layer of charm and personality that elevate this song. Ariana Grande is definitely the pop idol we need in the hot 100 right now, dear Lorde.

Sue Me by Sabrina Carpenter: What a fricking BANGER! This song rocked me to my core. Sabrina Carpenter is one of the best singers to come out of the Disney machine, and she’s always had potential for greatness (remember Thumbs? That song slaps.) There’s something visceral and inexplicably powerful about this song, I feel it right in my gut. It’s my favorite off of Singular Act 1, @eleanorschidis thank you for convincing me to listen through the album.

Love The Lie by Call Me Loop: I don’t feel like I can communicate why I’m so obsessed with this song, but I’ll try. It’s catchy as fuck, the twinkling guitar riff, the beat and melody... it’s all just so perfect. You know what? I can’t do it justice. Just listen to it. 

Drink About by Seeb ft. Dagny: This might be my favorite pop song of the year, and I both do and don’t know why. On one hand, the lyrics are repetitive, it’s simplistic, and it’s just another club dance song. But on the other hand, there’s something about it that elevates it beyond that. First off, there’s Dagny, who I’ve said before I LOVE, and her performance brings so much emotion and pain and personality to the song. Then there’s Seeb’s production, managing to make an unforgettable drop and chorus out of only a handful of lines. There was a period of time where I would just listen to this song on repeat, and it never got old or tired despite its repetition. It’s like a rush of euphoria whenever I hear it, and I can’t recommend it enough. 

R&B/HIP HOP

Honey Dew by LION BABE: Like Say Lou Lou, I first learned about LION BABE by reading about them in Teen Vogue. I put off checking them out for a while, and when I finally did, I wasn’t disappointed. This songs is one of the chillest I’ve heard this year. Jillian Hervey’s smooth voice and the twinkling pianos and shuffling percussion of Lucas Goodman’s production just meld so perfectly together. 

After the Storm by Kali Uchis ft. Tyler, The Creator and Bootsy Collins: There’s something about Kali Uchis’s voice that is so unique and so sultry, I can’t help but get sucked into her music. This song mixes together her lovely crooning, a rap verse from Tyler, The Creator, bubbly production, and uplifting lyrics, and I can’t help but feel happy whenever I hear it. This song feels like emerging from a cold lake, it’s that refreshing. (Also, count In My Dreams as an honorable mention, that song is great too.)

The Kids Are Alright by Chloe x Halle: The song is awe-inspiring, from the powerful harmonies of the opening to the rhythmic switch-ups present all throughout the song. I love the “we are we are we are” mantra that repeats all throughout the song. It almost sounds like a poem put to music. 

Blue Lights by Jorja Smith: Mixing a spoken word style hip hop and reggae elements into her usual graceful sound, Jorja Smith manages to craft a pretty sounding R&B song with a meaningful message behind it. Her debut album Lost & Found isn’t what I usually listen to, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. Also, can Jorja Smith drop her skincare routine? How does she get it so dewy and smooth? She’s so hecking pretty, I can’t even. 

Honey by Raveena: YouTube played this song as a commercial before a video I was watching, and I fell in love with it. Raveena’s voice is so delicate, fragile even, and just lovely paired with the simple but glistening production. 

Summer Pack by Childish Gambino: Okay, I’m putting both songs on here. My only explanation for this EP is that Donald Glover took the entire season of Summer and managed to distill it into two R&B songs. Summertime Magic has a watery, tropical mood that’s always refreshing to hear (am I the only one that is reminded of Wii Sports Resort?) and Feels Like Summer makes me feel like I’m sitting on my front steps in the middle of August with a melting orange popsicle. 

ALTERNATIVE/INDIE/ROCK

Baby by Bishop Briggs: While more pop leaning than her usual content, the blatant sexuality, personal lyrics, and Bishop Briggs’s usual powerful vocals sell this song. Also, the music video is AMAZING. I’ve put it on my animated music videos that give me life series, but I can’t reiterate enough how great the animation is. Holy hell. 

Gold Rush by Death Cab for Cutie: This song is downright ethereal. It sounds like it’s lulling you to sleep, but in the best kind of way. It isn’t boring, it’s soothing. Hearing this song on the radio is what got me into this band, and while I haven’t heard their entire discography, I know that this song will remain one of my favorites.

Hand It Over by MGMT: Just like Gold Rush, this song is so soothing it’s practically therapeutic. Every time I hear it, I just melt right into my chair. I’d say I’m a casual fan of MGMT, (I haven’t heard their less mainstream albums,) but I really like Oracular Spectacular and Little Dark Age. This is one of my favorite cuts off the latter album.

Idaho by Gorillaz: While The Now Now didn’t leave a big impression on me, this song makes me glad that I decided to listen to it. The production has this swell to it at the chorus, which is just so calming. I really like how the song is dappled with nature sounds, too. It makes me feel like I’m in a cabin next to a lake in the middle of the woods and it’s raining outside but I’m cuddled up in a cozy blanket with a cup of peppermint tea.

Baby You’re A Haunted House by Gerard Way: I’ve never listened to My Chemical Romance, so I didn’t know what to expect from this song, but holy crap. It’s a total banger. The guitars on this track are so fuzzy and aggressive in all the right ways. This was what I had on repeat all throughout Halloween. 

Blood and Bones by TRACE: The only word I can use to describe the song is entrancing. TRACE’s smooth vocals and the laid back production always make me feel so relaxed, and the funkier electronic touches and glittery piano riffs add just enough to keep it all interesting. 

Nobody by Mitski: I told y’all I be mentioning Mitski on one of these lists! While the entirety of Be The Cowboy was lovely, Nobody stands out as one of the catchiest, strangest, and most depressing songs of the year. How can a song about crushing, isolating loneliness that literally has a lyric about the hypothetical aliens living on Venus bop to the gods? I have no clue, but Mistki pulled it off. 

Fruity by Rubblebucket: Speaking of weird lyrics, this one takes the cake: “I said I’d make it to the party / But I’ve got a lot going on / The lioness gave a feast for forty off her body / Then slept on the ground till a flower grew out.” I have no clue what the hell that's supposed to mean, but it works. The little “lalala”s and the whispered vocals make for an interesting listen. Thanks, Spotify’s Discover Weekly!

Pristine by Snail Mail: The brain child of nineteen year old Lindsey Jordan, Snail Mail is one of the most intriguing indie rock acts I’ve heard this year. Her debut album, Lush, is full of awesome songs, but Pristine has got to be my favorite. The lyrics about the monotony of party culture, accompanied by an upbeat guitar riff and communicated through her raw vocals, all come together to form a song that you can both headbang and relax to. 

She’s Kerosene by The Interrupters: I don’t listen to ska punk, but this song is a just a ton of fun. There’s a sweet saxophone solo, and holy crap does Aimee Allen have a ton of personality on the vocals. Even my dad liked this song.

Body Talks by The Struts ft. Kesha: AND I MEAN THE KESHA VERSION. The original is fine, but when you’ve got a version of a song with Kesha on it, do you really need to hear the other one? This song has such an explosive and rocking chorus and Luke Spiller of The Struts and Kesha have great chemistry. I hope Kesha ventures more into the rock genre in the future, because she, well, rocks at it.

Midnight by Black Honey: A grimy banger complete with bold vocals, a chorus that will get. stuck. in your. head, assertive guitars, and a kick ass synthesizer solo? Yes, please. I loved Midnight from the first time I heard it. I might have mentioned before that I heard of this song through YouTube recommendations, and I’m so happy to have come across this song and this band. 

Lavender Bones by Stand Atlantic: As I mentioned in my artist recommendation post, this song is the update to Misery Business by Paramore that I never knew I needed. It’s noisy, it’s angry, it’s so goddamn catchy. I’m not always into the whole punk sound, but this song surpasses its genre. It’s just so good. 

Shame by Elle King: Since hearing Ex’s and Oh’s back in 2015, I’ve been obsessed with Elle King’s debut, Love Stuff. It’s one of those albums that I can put on and listen to all the way through. Her follow up, Shake The Spirit, was also pretty good, showcasing her gritty, powerful voice intertwined with rock, blues, and country elements. This song is the standout, explosive, boot stomping, and a whole lot of fun. 

Uh Huh by Jade Bird: This song is the epitome of a headbanger. It was a tossup between this song and her other singles, Love Has All Been Done Before and Lottery, for this list, but this one just had to be on it. This is one of my most listened to rock songs of the year. The energetic guitar gives the song an electric pulse, and Jade Bird’s vocals... holy shit does she have pipes. Her voice reminds me of Alanis Morissette. This song sprints at full speed, as over as quickly as it started, and a hell of a rush too. 

Fireworks by First Aid Kit: I’m not a big fan of country/folk music, but this Swedish sister duo have surpassed my usual genre bias time and time again. This song is my favorite off of their album Ruins, (they dropped the EP Tender Offerings this year, too. It’s a lovely little slice of folk that I’d definitely recommend y’all check out.) This is a grand, soaring ballad, showcasing the sisters’ harmonization and a showstopping string instrument. Just gorgeous. 

Reasons Not To Die (Demo) by Ryn Weaver: Ryn Weaver was one of the first artists I listened to when I was first defining my taste in music. Her album The Fool is what got me into the indie pop and alternative genres. While hopeful that she’d drop more music, I was also pretty sure that it wasn’t going to happen for a long, long while because she doesn’t currently have a label. Then this song came along. Everything about it is beautiful: Ryn’s vibrato-rich voice, the melody, the lyrics, guys. This song’s lyrics are so personal and authentic. As the song continues, it builds up to this crescendo, and Ryn’s voice gets more powerful and yet more vulnerable at the same time, the music swells... and then it drops back down again. This song makes me teary whenever I hear it, and that doesn’t happen that often. Please, Ryn. Drop more music. Lorde knows we need voices like yours in the current music scene. 

Listen to the complete mix of all these songs HERE. What were your favorite songs of 2018? Any artists, albums, singles, etc. I should know about? Leave your thoughts and recommendations down below.

[omdaily10]

RIGHT PLACE RIGHT TIME

Album: Third

Writers/Producers: Claude Kelly, Steve Robson, Chuck Harmony, Ed Drewett, Steve Kipner, Lucas Secon, Wayne Hector, Andrew Frampton, FutureCut, Iyiola Babalola, Darren Lewis, Jim Eliot, Iain James, Julian Bunetta, John Ryan, Carsten Mortensen, Adam Argyle, Martin Brammer, Matt Prime

Release Date: 26/11/2012 (Original) / 25/11/2013 (Reissue)

Chart Positions: #1 (UK), #1 (Scotland), #3 (Ireland), #5 (Austria), #6 (Switzerland), #14 (Sweden), #17 (Canada), #19 (US), #19 (Denmark), #20 (Australia), #22 (Germany), #27 (New Zealand), #32 (Japan), #38 (Finland)

Sales: 1.38m (UK, 4x Platinum), 100k (Germany, Gold), 15k (Ireland, Platinum), 35k (Australia, Gold), 10k (Austria, Gold)

It goes without saying that ‘Right Place Right Time’ is unquestionably Olly’s best album to date – certainly the one that fans cite as their favourite to this day. The 1.38m copies it shifted in the UK alone might explain that one away, but it doesn’t tell the full story of why he is still to this day the only male solo graduate of The X Factor to better the sales of each of his subsequent albums. However, just as with its lead single, Olly’s third album in as many years had a bit of a shaky start. At least, to its US release it did.

The plan from Colombia had initially been to release an American version of the ‘In Case You Didn’t Know’ album (proposed artwork here), which would have been a 50/50 split of songs from his first two albums, in early September 2012. The flop of the US remix of ‘Heart Skips A Beat’ quickly put paid to those plans – and just as well really, for by the time that idea was put on the backburner, he had a new studio album ready to go that could be released across all markets. Naturally, however, his home turf would be the first to get the album.

Knowing full well that this was an album with an eye on launching Olly internationally, the feel of the music was reflected in the choice of producers in order to appeal to as broad an audience as possible. On his down days in between the One Direction tour in the States, Olly hooked up with Claude Kelly in New York to write with his collaborative Stateside partner Chuck Harmony, collectively known under their performing  moniker of R&B/soul outfit Louis York. Out of those sessions  came several songs for the album: ‘Loud & Clear’ and ‘Head To Toe’: one, a sweeping, lighters aloft torch ballad that called to mind ‘X&Y’ era Coldplay, and the other a toe tapping swingathon with a jaunty piano line and a set of counting in verses.

Columbia also granted him access to two of their star boyband’s chief writers for the record, in the shape of LA based Julian Bunetta and John Ryan, who turned in possibly the most perfectly Olly song that’s ever existed on an album of his before or since. Little wonder then, that ‘What A Buzz’ was written especially with him in mind, a shuffly slice of kitchen sink breakbeat pop calling to mind Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim)’s remix of Cornershop’s 1998 chart topper ‘Brimful Of Asha’. It’s suitably cheeky Essex lilt about first date nerves was added courtesy of lyrics from Ed Drewett, a much in demand singer and songwriter from just over the border of Essex in Bishop’s Stortford, who had turned in two number one hits for The Wanted and duetted with Professor Green on his 2010 single ‘Need You Tonight’. The pair quickly became good friends and have continued to write together on subsequent albums of his.

Whilst it is less pronounced on this record, Olly was evolving and shifting sound again, this time, to corner the same funk laden pop avenue populated by Jamiroquai, M People and Maroon 5. The sound of the former is particularly prevalent on both ‘Troublemaker’ and on ‘Hey You Beautiful’, a four to the floor come-hither belter that proved a fan favourite after Olly’s performance of it over the suspended catwalk section of his supporting arena tour around the UK and Ireland for the album in the spring of 2013.

That tour was also a first, as on several of the numbers, Olly got to showcase his skills on the guitar and piano that he’d been painstakingly practicing away at in the year since the last tour. It was the latter that got an airing for his performance of this album’s closing track – a simple but stripped back piano number called ‘One Of These Days’. It trod the same path as ‘I Need You Now’ on the last album, but also took a slight leaning towards the sound of modern country and adult contemporary radio.

The album’s original release was accompanied by a deluxe edition, on which were four additional tracks (plus a small change in colour on the artwork’s font from black to dark red). This would be the first album of Olly’s to come out on two separate formats. Adam Argyle and Martin Brammer are once again behind three of the four songs on the deluxe version, best of all being the soaring midtempo piano pop stormer ‘Sliding Doors’, a conversational track about dreaming of life with someone else in another moment that was inspired by the Gwyneth Paltrow film from 1998 of the same name. The closing track, ‘The One’, was another of his collaborations with Ed Drewett, which Olly also played guitar on, and is a rousing number, almost evocative of a poppier ‘Tender’ by Blur, about offering support to a friend in a dark place.

Critical consensus was divided between applauding and denigrating his approach of going forward by advancing the same sound that had carried him through two multi-platinum albums already. But it was seemingly missing the point either way. As Lewis Corner, reviewing the album for entertainment website Digital Spy wrote, “it may not be a big departure from Murs’ previous efforts, but when you're on to a good thing, why change the pace?” With this still being the biggest studio release of his career by far, Olly’s third album definitely was a case of being in the right place at the right time.

RIGHT PLACE RIGHT TIME: SPECIAL EDITION 

When viewed retrospectively, 2013 was truly the year when Olly went global, with tour dates and promotional commitments expanding not only to Europe, but also to America, Australia and even Asia by year’s end – not to mention his successful stint supporting his ‘showbiz brother’ and former X Factor duet partner Robbie Williams on every single UK and European date of his ‘Take The Crown’ stadium tour that summer (the two would also record a rousing cover of ‘I Wanna Be Like You’ from the Disney adaptation of The Jungle Book for Williams’ second swing album ‘Swings Both Ways’).

This did however, create a small problem, in so far as all this hive of activity meant there was no time to record a new studio album for the end of the year, as had been the case in the last three years. Thankfully, Sony saw a little more mileage in the campaign for ‘Right Place Right Time’ to keep Olly active and present until he had his next album in the can, hence its repackaging and reissue with all new artwork almost a year after its original release.

The original twelve tracks on the album remained, and joining them were several tracks that had been recorded during the album sessions (some even earlier than that) but which for one reason or another hadn’t made the final cut first time round. It meant we got to hear ‘Stop Tryna Change Me’, a gentle paced toe tapper Olly co-wrote with Claude and Chuck which again, had a slight feel of country pop.

First demoed for ‘In Case You Didn’t Know’, ‘That’s Alright With Me’ was another jaunty post-Britpop offering from Samuel Preston and Mark Taylor, the sort of guitar flecked number you could see spilling forth from the mouths of The Kooks or Preston’s old band The Ordinary Boys. A stripped back seasonal take on Wizzard’s festive evergreen ‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday’, recorded back in December the previous year for BBC Radio 1’s popular ‘Live Lounge’ slot on Fearne Cotton’s mid-morning show follows and is a heart-warming delight.

Rounding out the new tracks were collaborations with two European pop chanteuses, both done to try and break Olly into their respective territories. It means that he turns up on ‘Did I Lose You’, a hypnotic, wistful track that you could’ve imagined playing over the opening credits of a Bond movie, for Italy’s Giorgia, whilst his own ‘Dear Darlin’ was given a Gallic reimagining by popular French star Alizée, who had scaled the UK top 10 in 2002 with her Europop thumper ‘Moi...Lolita’. Olly performed this version with Alizée at the Parisian date of his European tour that autumn whilst she was taking part in the French version of Strictly Come Dancing.

But the special edition didn’t end there. Footage of the first O2 show in London on Easter weekend from the spring arena tour that year had been filmed and broadcast live via Olly’s Facebook page, and it was quickly decided, after much demand from fans, to release it on an accompanying DVD, marking the first time that a live show of Olly’s had had a home video release. It was undoubtedly a large factor in helping the album to return to the top end of the album chart a year on from its debut, as well as being amongst the top 5 biggest selling albums of the year in the UK for two years running.

[eurovosion]

 some thoughts on this year’s entries

or i guess just a ranking with comments tacked on

albania - this year’s nf season was a let down for me, partly because a lot of the winning songs weren’t the best on offer, and partly because albania picked first and nothing could live up to it. i love the depth this has, the dark, almost tribal vibes, and most of all i love how they didn’t fuck up the revamp like they usually do. if this is staged correctly, i think this could do really well. 10/10

greece - i feel like this has been overlooked in the wider fandom, which is odd because greek entries are usually pretty polarising, for better or for worse. regardless, i really like this. it’s atmospheric, powerful as hell, and katerine is more than capable of nailing it live. don’t count greece out just yet! 9.5/10

portugal - festival da canção was easily the best nf this year and the portuguese public picked wisely. telemóveis is such an intriguing song with a really curious sound, so traditional yet so modern at the same time. i’m not 100% on the staging, but they have time to figure it out. 9.5/10

spain - la venda wasn’t the song i was rooting for in the selection (rip todo bien, never forgotten) but i’m fully on board with it now. this works so well with a big audience, and you just know that the crowd will be on his side. if this doesn’t go top 10 at the very least i’ll be stunned. 9/10

cyprus - this is just as instant as fuego for me. not sure if tamta will do as well as eleni, but the cypriot delegation has definitely found their winning formula. 9/10

malta - malta is not fucking around this year. this is a verified banger, and their best entry in years, perhaps their best ever. take as many youtube ads as you want, michela, you deserve them. 8.5/10

azerbaijan - without a doubt, azerbaijan is back with a vengeance. you can tell they’re determined to set the record straight and prove that last year was just a blip, because this is great and hopefully the live performance reflects that. 8.5/10

denmark - i really should hate this, but i can’t. it’s so innocent and cheerily optimistic in a way that i can only be jealous of whilst humming along to the chorus. this deserves to do well. 8/10

italy - it took me a little while to warm up to soldi, but once i finally got there i really started to appreciate it. i don’t think it’s a winner, but it’s a very good song, and in the end that’s all that matters. 8/10

san marino - yes, serhat is in my top 10, and what of it? you only wish your fave could write a song in ten minutes and have it go off like this. and yes, if he doesn’t qualify you’ll catch me openly sobbing in the streets for weeks. 8/10

switzerland - an unabashed bop with some actual choreography, but lacking lyrically. then again, so was fuego and that popped off live. he’s also working with the same stage director as eleni, which can only be good news for him. 7.5/10

the netherlands - don’t get me wrong, it’s a very polished song and i’m sure duncan’s great but like... is that it? this is the big fan favourite? i’m very whelmed. 7.5/10

armenia - i was expecting something like yete karogh es from srbuk, so this came completely out of left field in the best way possible. i thought we’d lost our token edgy pop song when ukraine dropped out, but armenia saved us at the last minute. the only thing i’m worried about are her vocals, because, from what i’ve seen, she isn’t the most confident performer. 7/10

serbia - another respectable but ultimately pretty safe pick from serbia this year. nevena has a really strong voice and she sells the song well, so i think she’ll avoid another moje 3 style placement. 7/10

germany - first of all, aly ryan was robbed. secondly, thank god the surprise song didn’t win. thirdly, this is alright. nothing spectacular, but it’s cute and the spinning stage was a great stylistic choice. 7/10

latvia - thank you latvia for letting this win and rejecting markus riva’s basic ass for the sixth year in a row WHEW i really love the whole atmosphere that surrounds this. barring a miracle, however, i don’t think it’ll qualify, but it’s still a good attempt. 6.5/10

sweden - i don’t think it’s john’s most solid composition, but it’s a decent entry nevertheless and it’s nice to see sweden picking an entry that isn’t generic pop again. 6.5/10

united kingdom - my only faint glimmer of national pride so far this year is that we managed to pick the only good song from the flaming garbage pile that was our nf. yeah, the lyrics are redundant and it’s a ballad by numbers, but michael gives it his all and it really pays off. 6.5/10

ireland - this will absolutely not do well but who cares, it’s fun and harmless. super chill and easy to listen, and i think sarah’s a big eurovision fan already which is nice. also i’d just like to take this opportunity to thank her for ditching the ylva and linda song she originally applied with. 6.5/10

iceland - hm. this is one where you need to listen a few times to get a full impression of what the fuck you’re hearing/seeing. i really did not like this when i first heard it alongside all the other söngvakeppnin songs (and most of them sucked lbr), but now i’m kind of ambivalent towards it. i still don’t like the screaming or the key change, but it’s something different and i can admire that. 6/10

slovenia - fine, but forgettable. she has a nice voice, but there’s a distinct lack of stage presence from the two of them and i fear that this might get lost in the semi final. 6/10

israel - i’m conflicted here. i definitely don’t think home is as bad as the fan polls and reviews imply, but it’s not great either. a verse or two in hebrew would have really elevated this and i’m a little baffled as to why the writers didn’t include even a little bit considering the contest is on home turf this year. still, kobi’s a very convincing performer and israel probably didn’t want to win again anyway. 6/10

poland - this is an odd one, which isn’t a bad thing at all in a year full of safe entries. not sure if using the bilingual version was the best shout, but it’s clearly still very polish and i’m glad to hear that they’ll be wearing the traditional clothing on stage in tel aviv. 6/10

czech republic - the chorus absolutely slaps, and if i was judging by music alone this’d probably be in my top ten. unfortunately, though, the rest of the song exists. the lyrics are truly abysmal, with some of the lines ending awkwardly and without proper rhymes where they’re needed, and the spoken-word section is genuinely unbearable. 5.5/10

austria - i honestly don’t know where to place this one. very underwhelming when it was first released, but now i feel like there’s potential here. most of austria’s recent entries have been very under the radar only to end up doing quite well. i’m not as optimistic about this as some of those, but only time will tell. 5.5/10

hungary - not a patch on his previous entry, but pleasant enough. he’s a good performer and unless the staging really sucks, he’ll do fine. 5.5/10

north macedonia - it’s a nice ballad? i guess? and, unlike a lot of their recent entrants, tamara is an established singer who we all know can sing live. there are also rumours that the delegation has been planning the performance for a while, so who knows, perhaps this’ll qualify. 5/10

georgia - this has been growing on me lately. the song itself is a bit of a bust, although the revamp helped, but oto really brings it to life on stage. even if you don’t understand what he’s saying, you can tell by the emotion in his voice that he really means it. 5/10

russia - the nightmare dream team hasn’t produced a good song in over a decade at this point, this included. kirkorov needs to quit fooling himself and let someone else have a go. 4.5/10

belgium - belgium’s had quite the glow up since 2014, but i fear they’ve gone for style over substance this year. wake up is very polished, but it doesn’t go anywhere and eliot’s live performances haven’t been convincing as of yet. 4/10

lithuania - i don’t know what was more shocking, him winning the selection or me finding out that he was lolita zero’s real voice in 2017. this isn’t awful, just very repetitive and strangely put together. 3.5/10

norway - sue me, i don’t like this. the bald guy feels out of place and out of tune, it sounds like it was written by a child, and oh my god it’s so unbearably cheap. 3/10 

estonia - eesti laul was such a let down this year. usually there’s a good mix of mainstream and alternative genres, but the new producer doesn’t seem to give a shit about variety, which is a real shame. anyway, victor’s performance is slick, but he can barely sing and the song itself is nothing to write home about. 3/10

romania - when this was first selected i didn’t mind it, probably because i just really didn’t want laura bretan to win, but as the season drags on i’ve really soured to it. it feels like it lasts for a minute longer than it actually does, and the whole ay-ay-ay part was not a good choice. 2.5/10

australia - as someone who was a big fan of estonia last year, this is honestly the furthest thing from that. it comes across as quite cheap (even without the questionable staging), and the chorus really grates on me. 2.5/10

belarus - i didn’t watch the entirety of the belarusian auditions for them to reject the potato monks in favour of lidl’s own brand zara larsson. 2/10

france - this is why delegations should be wary of selecting social media stars for their national selections. yes, they might get the viewing figures up a little, but they’ll probably win and the song will be Bad. i respect his message, but holy shit is this hamfisted as hell. 1/10

finland - if anyone was wondering how darude only ever had one hit two decades ago, here is your answer. 1/10

moldova - they really don’t want to qualify this year, huh. could’ve had ca adriano celentano, but nope. basic tune, painfully simple lyrics, but i guess her voice is nice enough 1/10

croatia - this... is awful. upsettingly so. at least jacques’ last entry had a novelty factor, but he’s doomed this poor kid to failure. 0.5/10

montenegro - i have absolutely nothing positive to say here. honest to god one of the worst songs i’ve ever heard, and no amount of clumsily shoehorned in folk instrumentation was ever going to save this. i can only pray that they’re spending their preparation time wisely and taking singing lessons, but considering that they probably blew half the budget on the music video, it’s unlikely. 0/10

as for potential winners,  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a lot of the big fan favourites don’t have a winning vibe about them, so we might be in for a shock this year. please let it be albania or greece

also feel free to drop me an ask if you want to chat about last year’s entries since i kind of ditched tumblr for a year or two lmao

[mexicaneurolover]

Eurovision 2014 my top 37

Hello and welcome to another episode of this ESC tops series, and I only have to review 5 more contest and I’ll finish this before I go back to school. In the meantime I go back to May 6, 8 and 10, 2014, when the 59th edition of the contest was held in Copenhagen, Denmark, after Emmelie de Forest’s victory in Malmö last year. 37 countries took part, while Poland and Portugal returned to the contest, Serbia, Croatia, Cyprus and Bulgaria withdrew because of financial difficulties. The contest was won by Austria and Conchita Wurst with the song Rise Like a Phoenix, making this their second victory overall and the first one after 1966, 48 years later. And now, let’s review the songs!!! Also I have to say the postcards are stunning and the best I’ve ever seen. 

1st Place: SWEDEN/Sanna Nielsen-Undo (Real Placing: 3rd-218 points) 

This entry has a special place in my heart, I love Sanna so much, her voice is so great and the music is lovely, the lyrics are a bit bad but that doesn’t change anything, the performance was so shiny and it works perfectly for this song, and indeed I think this is a very powerful song, this or Conchita are my winners of that year, and UNDO MY SAD Sanna. 

2nd Place: AUSTRIA/Conchita Wurst-Rise like a Phoenix (Real Placing: 1st-290 points)

Behold the winner, and WHAT A WINNER SHE WAS, the song is something from a James Bond movie, her voice is stunning, she’s stunning, the performance is pure fire and magic, and the lyrics are so empowering, I’m so glad she won that night and the music is so perfect, with a live orchestra this would’ve been miles better, if that was possible because this is such a perfect song. GO CONCHITA, I love you. 

3rd Place: THE NETHERLANDS/The Common Linnets-Calm after the storm (Real Placing: 2nd-238 points) 

What a gentle and perfect song, this has a very calm and soothing music, perfect for a road trip and they have amazing voices together, the performance is so intimate and wonderful, the lyrics are beautiful and it’s one of the songs that relax me so much. A deserved runner up and what a result they had! 

4th Place: SWITZERLAND/Sebalter-Hunter of stars (Real Placing: 13th-64 points)

YEEEES this entry is everything, he’s so handsome, he has a nice voice, the music is so memorable, this has some catchy lyrics and the performance is so good, the whistling is perfect and it’s a nice detail to the song, I think this song deserved so much more and this is Switzerland’s last qualification, I hope that can change soon.  

5th Place: SAN MARINO/Valentina Monetta-Maybe (Forse) (Real Placing: 24th-14 points) 

SHE DID IT, SHE DID IT, this was their first qualification and this song is very nice, it’s one of my favorite entries from San Marino, as always Valentina’s voice is perfect and the performance is beautiful, surely this is a very beautiful ballad and I hope I get to see San Marino in the final again. 

6th Place: UKRAINE/Mariya Yaremchuk-Tick-tock (Real Placing: 6th-113 points) 

The hamster wheel is iconic in this song, and her voice is so good, also the music is amazing and it’s a very catchy song, I fell in love with this song since the first time I heard it, and it will never leave my head. An amazing entry as well and it’s perfect. 

7th Place: HUNGARY/András Kállay-Saunders-Running (Real Placing: 5th-143 points) 

Wow, this is such a strong song, the music is so dark, as well as the lyrics and the performance, his voice is good, a bit dodgy at the end but this is so amazing, a deserved top 5 result and it’s an amazing entry. 

8th Place: IRELAND/Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith-Heartbeat (Real Placing: 12th SF2-35 points) 

Another song that IMO deserved the final, the music is so perfect, maybe her voice was a bit weak and that kinda ruined this, but the performance is so nice, the Irish touch in this is so lovely and it’s so enjoyable, surely this deserved more.  

9th Place: SPAIN/Ruth Lorenzo-Dancing in the rain (Real Placing: 19th-74 points) 

YAAAAAS SPAIN, this is such a perfect ballad and Ruth’s voice is so perfect and beautiful, also the performance is so cool and I love the music so much, she’s a goddess on stage and I’m in love with the lyrics, they are beautiful, and I have a thing for Spanish ballads so this is my perfect song. 

10th Place: UNITED KINGDOM/Molly-Children of the Universe (Real Placing: 17th-40 points) 

Oh this song is pure awesomeness, her voice is so amazing and I love the music because is so inspiring, also the lyrics are so strong and overall this is a very strong song, and IMO this deserved so much more. 

11th Place: ARMENIA/Aram MP3-Not alone (Real Placing: 4th-174 points)

At first I must admit I hated this song so much, but after many listens I appreciate it more, his voice is so special and I love how this song builds until the end, and the performance is so perfect as well, the dubstep ending is perfect and now I see it’s a very good song.   

12th Place: POLAND/Donatan & Cleo-My Słowianie - We Are Slavic (Real Placing: 14th-62 points) 

Another epic and wonderful song, the music is so perfect and I love the performance so much, it’s stunning, also her voice is so special and it makes the song so amazing. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. 

13th Place: PORTUGAL/Suzy-Quero ser tua (Real Placing: 11th SF1-39 points) 

Ooooo this is such a wonderful song, the music is very catchy and I always dance to this one, and she has a nice voice, also the performance is so lovely and appropriate, this reminds me of Danza Kuduro but still it’s an amazing song. 

14th Place: ISRAEL/Mei Finegold-Same heart (Real Placing: 14th SF2-19 points) 

Okay this is something I don’t understand, why this didn’t reach the final, this is such an amazing song, her voice is so stunning and I love her so much. This is something epic and it’s a very pleasant song, I like this entry so much and maybe the performance was the problem here. 

15th Place: SLOVENIA/Tinkara Kovač-Round and round (Real Placing: 25th-9 points)  

This song is also a very good one, I love her voice and the music is so perfect, it’s such a catchy song and the chorus is amazing, also the performance is simple but effective, and I can’t understand how this song finished so low, and it surely deserved more. 

16th Place: MONTENEGRO/Sergej Ćetković-Moj svijet (Real Placing: 19th-37 points)

Awwwwwww a beautiful Balkan ballad, and it granted Montenegro’s first qualification ever, which was an accomplishment, the music is so beautiful, and his voice is stunning, also I love the performance and this song is one of those I want to listen while flying or running in the forest, it’s a stunning entry. 

17th Place: ICELAND/Pollapönk-No prejudice (Real Placing: 15th-58 points)

THIS SONG IS SUCH A HAPPY ONE, the music is so crazy and the lyrics are nice, also I love the performance because of the costumes and the colors, the voice of the lead singer is good and I always smile at the last part because of the good vibes they bring, such an enjoyable song to listen. 

18th Place: NORWAY/Carl Espen-Silent storm (Real Placing: 8th-88 points) 

This is such a dramatic and sad ballad, his voice is such a delight to listen and I love the staging so much, and the lyrics are so touching, I’m in love with this song and it’s a very moody song, I always stay silent while listening to this song. 

19th Place: GREECE/Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd-Rise up (Real Placing: 20th-35 points) 

Woah what a dance song, this is a perfect song for a party, and the performance is so cool, sadly I must admit the live performance was so weak and this failed to be a banger live. This in studio is an amazing song, and I wanted it to be like that live. 

20th Place: FINLAND/Softengine-Something better (Real Placing: 11th-72 points) 

THIS IS A VERY AWESOME SONG, I love the music so much, also his voice is stunning and overall this is one of the best recent Finnish songs, and what a result they had. This is so much my kind of music in that 2014, and it’s so wonderful. 

21st Place: FRANCE/TWIN TWIN-Moustache (Real Placing: 26th-2 points/last)

Why this came last? This might not be one of France’s best songs in the contest but it’s a very catchy song and the performance is so colorful and crazy, I’m crazy about this song and it’s such an earworm. Such an enjoyable song and I love the music video. 

22nd Place: DENMARK/Basim-Cliché love song (Real Placing: 9th-74 points)

Awww this is so nostalgic to me, it’s like old Bruno Mars songs, his voice is so cool and I love the music, it’s a very catchy song and it’s a perfect host entry, the performance is so amazing and it’s one of my fave sing along songs ever. 

23rd Place: FYR MACEDONIA/Tijana-To the sky (Real Placing: 13th SF2-33 points)  

Another nice song, the music is so good and she has a very particular voice which makes this a very enjoyable and pleasant song, it’s so catchy, sadly the performance is a letdown here but I love this song. 

24th Place: GERMANY/Elaiza-Is it right (Real Placing: 18th-39 points) 

This entry has a very amazing music, and she isn’t a bad singer, I always enjoy listening to this song, sadly it was crushed between two amazing songs and it was a bit forgotten. Still it’s a very good pleasant song to listen. 

25th Place: ROMANIA/Paula Seling & Ovi-Miracle (Real Placing: 12th-72 points) 

Awww one of my favorite duets ever is back, and this song is a nice one indeed, they sing as well as in 2010, and those high notes from Paula lift the whole atmosphere here. This might not be Playing with fire but this has it’s charm. 

26th Place: ESTONIA/Tanja-Amazing (Real Placing: 12th SF1-36 points) 

WOW THE PERFORMANCE HERE IS AMAZING, also she has such a nice song and I admire her so much because of that dance routine and singing at the same time, the music is so wonderful and it’s a very likeable song. 

27th Place: RUSSIA/Tolmachevy Sisters-Shine (Real Placing: 7th-89 points)

Oh the lovely twins from Russia who won JESC in 2006, this is a nice ballad that builds so well and they have amazing voices, also I love the seesaw and they are so cute. Somehow I think it’s one of Russia’s weakest songs but it’s an enjoyable one. 

28th Place: BELARUS/Teo-Cheesecake (Real Placing: 16th-43 points) 

I kinda think this song is a bit mediocre, but I always sing along to it and I find the music so good at the same time, also he’s such a charming singer and I can relate to the lyrics so much. 

29th Place: ITALY/Emma-La mia città (Real Placing: 21st-33 points)   

Ahhh this song is so powerful, I love the music so much and she has such a nice and amazing voice, the performance is a bit weird but I like her dress so much. It’s one of those songs I hum randomly and always that voglio te comes to my mind I start singing it.  

30th Place: ALBANIA/Hersi-One night’s anger (Real Placing: 15th SF1-22 points) 

This song is very nice, I love how the song changes every verse and the chorus is so powerful, her voice is also so good and I enjoy the lyrics so much, I was obsessed with this song when I first listened to it, and I still like it, as many songs that year. 

31st Place: LATVIA/Aarzemnieki-Cake to bake (Real Placing: 13th SF1-33 points) 

A cute and beautiful song, I love the music so much and the performance is lovely, also the lyrics are so nice, this entry makes me feel so happy and I surely want to bake a cake while listening to this song. 

32nd Place: MALTA/Firelight-Coming home (Real Placing: 23rd-32 points) 

This song reminds me sooo much to Mumford and Sons, this isn’t a bad song, it’s just I like other 31 songs more than this one, his voice is so good and the performance is cute, but I think this song could’ve been better. 

33rd Place: MOLDOVA/Cristina Scarlat-Wild soul (Real Placing: 16th SF1-13 ponts/last)  

This is a bit of a guilty pleasure, the music is so epic and the performance is quite good, but I think this has too many things going on and it can be a bit distracting, still it’s nice to listen. 

34th Place: BELGIUM/Axel Hirsoux-Mother (Real Placing: 14th SF1-28 points) 

Uhhhhhhhh, this is a quite boring song overall, his voice here was a bit bad and the music doesn’t stand out, but I like it more than the other songs below, nothing else to say, it’s a bit flat though. 

35th Place: AZERBAIJAN/Dilara Kazimova-Start a fire (Real Placing: 22nd-33 points) 

Azerbaijan outside the top 10, and I can see why, this is a very boring song without a hook, the staging is gorgeous and it’s the only thing I like about this. 

36th Place: GEORGIA/The Shin and Mariko-Three minutes to Earth (Real Placing: 15th SF2-15 points/last) 

A very interesting choice, the music is pleasant, but nothing else captures my attention in this entry, it’s a bit flat and I can’t connect with it somehow, a weird song indeed. 

37th Place: LITHUANIA/Vilija-Attention (Real Placing: 11th SF2-36 points)

For me this song is so annoying, her voice is a bit weird here and the music is hard to listen, it’s one of those songs I want to skip because I can’t stand all the package, also the performance is so... curious.  

[blockbustersgang]

When work brings you new homes around the world

Thoughts of working abroad and lessons so far learned by our Co-Founder Iiris, working as an 1st Assistant Director, currently in Stockholm Sweden until mid-March 2021.

There was a time when I only fantasised of working outside Finland - or even just outside of Helsinki. I thought I’d never have the opportunity to be on a crew of any international productions and especially anything that’d be filming somewhere else than in Finland. 

Firstly this myth was broken when I joined Iron Sky team to work on the post production of extended cut of the film. Obviously I realised I’d jumped into a massive three counrty co-production, coordinating crews from Germany, Australia, Finland and even Slovenia. I was puzzled, over the moon. At 20 years old I found myself already accomplishing my dreams. 

Lesson #1 learned: dream cost-effectively, dream even of small things, like working on any international film, on any role. You may realise suddenly and very quickly you’ve already accomplished it. 

My first film markets as part of Iron Sky team, Berlinale & EFM 2013 and Cannes Film Festival & Marcé Du Film 2013.

After my work at Iron Sky I visited animation world quickly by being Director’s Assistant on Angry Birds Toon series. We had crew from dozens and dozens of countries on board - literally I’d hear a new accent every day when walking to the studio. I met top level animators, storyboard artists and directors of the world. Even though I wasn’t really doing exactly what I wanted I got lots and lots of practice on understanding leadership and different working cultures - not to mention animation workflow itself. 

Lesson #2: international productions aren’t that simple or easy. Actually they require two times more communication, to make sure everyone is on the same page though they’re not using their first language.

Farewell card and Rovio team card with office breakfast in 2014. Still miss these amazing, crazy and inspiring animators!

I would have maybe never understood my potential unless there’d been Production Value workshop that was recommended to me. It was truly jump to the deep end, I felt like I’d die of the scare I had, that I’d never be as good as all the rest in the workshop. Still to this day I have no idea how I got in as I didn’t have that much experience. But somehow someone saw something in me and this is the pure reason why no one should ever stop trying to chase their dreams. 

“It has become very clear to me it was a step to the right direction and has given me more confidence and skills than I (or anyone else) realised. Suddenly I do understand making films outside Finland will be possible for me and there is no limit when I just keep on going. I never really thought about this so far but now it feels making my first international co-production in the AD department could be just around the corner.”

This is what I wrote to my final report in the beginning of 2015 when completing my training. I’m deeply thankful for getting that sparkle in.

Soon after I’d finished my work at Rovio began an era I truly started my 1st AD work on professional films. On the first years I was the most frustrated of only landing in domestic productions, not getting to widen my ideas of ADing, sometimes being even arrogant on thinking these wouldn’t educate or challenge me enough. I made enough mistakes to get real and understand every single production teaches me. I am never ready. I always have things to learn. 

Fast forwarding to lesson #3: even domestic teaches you to be more ready for international stuff. Work.

I think the first time I ran a professional, large scale set outside Finland was in 2016 for some commercials in Estonia. I didn’t have much time to prepare and I knew no one in the crew. I was more or less horrified - and lucky, as it went well. I found solutions I could offer and met some people who later became my good friends (also tell a Finn who doesn’t love jumping into an Estonian set and meeting old schoolers who know how to speak Finnish with them, with the lovely, warm Estonian accent). But my real stepping stone was filming feature film Heavy Trip in Norway in 2017. 

Dear lord I had craved for a production like that. I was thrilled. I loved every second. And somehow besides the chaos it all just went very well in the end (at least for me as a 1st AD). We were exactly on time and figured out massive plan B’s and C’s when needed. Yes it was rough. It wasn’t a surprise these things mostly are. But I noticed my energy being many levels up compared to former productions. Somehow the multi-nationality crews and locations further away keep my heart beating stronger and lungs breathing clearer.

Last night feels before my first shooting day in Norway as 1st AD. 

Since that everything just moved rather quickly and now I’ve run sets in Sweden, Estonia, United States and Djibouti. After Heavy Trip I only did one domestic feature - all others have included filming abroad and at least two countries co-producing. More or less all other productions have somehow had an international aspect on them. I’ve also loved filming international projects in Finland. 

I think one of the key factors of me getting to do these projects I’ve so massively wanted to participate is that I really put a lot of energy, time and money into understanding filmmaking outside Finland. No one will come and get me from my home, right. So I’ve stepped out, humbly joined events and conversations, made a fool of myself, learned so much of networking and taken my English to a new level while working and working and working on it. (Still not perfect, unfortunately.)

Giving a lecture of 1st Assistant Directing in Greenwich University January 2017. Would not have had the chance unless amazing former Intern Luisa would not have suggested me as a guest lecturer to her teachers.

Lesson #4: Networking matters. It might be someone surprising who gives you the next opportunity to show your skills and talent. 

My first shoot in the States as 1st AD - Iron Sky the Coming Race pick ups with Digital Sputnik in LA May 2018.  

Lesson #5: Jump in to every crazy, stupid, badly paid production if you feel like it’ll give you something more than others. 

Working Together workshop gang in the end of 2018. Never stepped this strongly out of my comfort zone. Not only changed me as a filmmaker - but also as a human. 

Lesson #6: European organisations offer fantastic professional trainings for filmmakers and many countries (like Finland) offer scholarships or funding for them to participate. Invest some time to look for these and apply!

On-set friends in Estonia and Djibouti in 2019. 

I must say - after four features in a row outside my home country - that working abroad can be quite exhausting. I’m missing home and I appreciate Helsinki lot more than I used to. I’ve always felt it as my home but now I really know it’s got a special place in my heart. I'm actually really looking forward getting back home and working in Finland for a change. I’m really enjoying speaking in English though - which my mom must find very amusing as I absolutely hated studying any languages in school - and am wishing I can keep evolving my language skills even when getting back to Finland. 

Ah - I’ve tried to learn other languages too. When leaving to Djibouti last fall 2019 I’d been studying French for 2 months. Let’s just say I only got to say hello, how are you, thank you and good night. And in Sweden it’s been a bunch of all three languages I can somehow speak - everyone else speaking Swedish together (I can follow up around 60-70% of discussions) and English to me and me trying to balance with my elementary Swedish that translates to Finnish in my brain but still mainly talking English. It's been lots of work for my brain.

Lesson #7: Working on other languages and within other cultures might be exhausting no matter how much you enjoy it. Try to rest more than usual. Tell your family and friends you might be more tired than normally and ask for additional support if needed.

I don’t think I’ll ever satisfy into not having the world open anymore. Covid-19 is truly testing my limits on all levels - work and personal ones. I don’t need to travel at all times or only work on big sets. I was very happy just at home with my dogs and spouse for two months last spring during lockdown. But there’s so much to see - so why not go when having a chance. 

I recommend you all: take that chance. Make a little effort to get the first one, and the next ones will follow. 

With love from eternal dreamer, 

Iiris 

[hellolittlefoxie]

With You - Part 1

Sometime in the early morning hours of December 31st, our first year together officially began. It was nothing extravagant, no flowers, no romantic dinner. It was just in the intimacy of sitting alone while the the city slept that it began.

Our first full day together was surprisingly casual, not to be surprised given the circumstances of the time but it was a day I cherish very much. Running errands, such as picking and dropping of your momma, a workout session along the Embarcadero, a meet up with a friend for dinner, and watching the city glisten from a new viewpoint as we brought the new year together in the calm and quiet of your living room, giving each other a smile as we looked out the window to your neighborhood. 

January

The first day of the new year was a bittersweet one. You took me to Chinatown, where you got me some hong kong milk tea, and some deliciously flaky egg tarts. And then drove me across the the bridge to show me Sausalito for the first time. Here I fell in love with the small town vibes, and serenity that came from viewing SF from the distance as the windows turned to gold while the sun set. But that night would be a lonely one as I had to say good bye to you a and drove down the darkness of the 5.

The 2nd adventure of the year took us to the legendary Bill Graham to see none other than your favorite trance DJ, with BJ and the rest of Norcal Anaho. A blurry night where we broke our necks you broke your neck as you complained about it for the rest of the weekend. Had some wonderful family time with Anaho as we did a photoshoot at an abandoned bunker, had dinner at my fave place in SF, San Tung, chilled at Amanda’s house, explored new areas of the city, and had one of the more memorable nights at Travelodge with our first wine and snack night. 

February

“Are we celebrating Valentine’s?” “No not really.” 

Was basically the gist of one of our conversations. But that weekend after Valentine’s  had us back together, me dressed up a little nicer than usual, and you glowing in your pretty gray dress, and coat, as we spent our first “non valentine’s day celebration” in the middle of downtown. A night where we explored LA’s downtown night life together for the first time, where I pointed to to you the Denny’s I went to after prom, a geography lesson on LA’s layout on top of a rotating bar. Then home to celebrate with some sparkly you had given me as part of my gift. Our cravings the next day took us to Koreatown for KBBQ, with Evelyn and Steven, the nicer side of Melrose for some disappointing milk tea from Alfred’s Teahouse, and a spontaneous double date with Jazz and Danny to some pizza diner in Hollywood. A little detour to Little Tokyo, and to find the instagram hotspot with the red and blue lights and our weekend came to an end as we waved good bye to each other as your bus pulled away taking a sleepy you back home.

March

After a commitment that was made at Snowglobe more than a year before, this was the month we traveled across the country to finally walk the fabled grounds of Ultra. The whole month was full of kandi making and anxious anticipation of what would it be like to finally be at the festival both of us had only been able to experience from livestreams, and youtube videos. Finally on the third weekend of March we saw each other at the airport with Ben and Amanda cockblocking my hug to you. Waking up at 5 in the morning that day felt like a distant memory as I had gone from LA to Austin to holding your hand in Miami after a 12+ hour trip. That night as it is the usual for Anaho to do after a long time apart had everyone talking loud, challenging each other to drink more shots, and of course the night wasn’t complete without a few people throwing up. The next three days had us jumping up and down to Tiesto, vibing to Kaskade, getting wild for kayzo and being had us in awe at the reunion of SHM, and every night had us wandering through downtown Miami as we raced everyone else back to the airbnb to see who would be able to shower first. Dressing up as Jasmine and Aladdin, having matching outfits with your silver top and my gray camo for day two, munching on some expensive festival food, getting lost in the crowd of internationals while you held my hand, downed at least three red bulls a day, and I couldn’t have asked for a better rave bae or better way to experience Ultra. 

April

A few weeks back you had asked me if I wanted to go with you to the the AKPsi formal, not wanting to miss out on this I excitedly said yes, that weekend in April I flew in late in the afternoon where you drove us down to the outdoor shopping mall in San Jose, after not being able to go to the rooftop bar you initially wanted to take me to, we ended up at a different bar, you seemed flustered at that but it’s okay because we still had a great time, especially after a seafood dinner, and some ice cream. A boba pitstop later and our second road trip began we made our way to our hotel in the good ol’ Central Valley. Two hours of your Merced playlist, and singing our hearts out to some throwback songs, and before we knew it we were checking in and drinking wine at our surprisingly nice hotel, too bad for the squeaky bed though. The next day we found ourselves in Merced, a coffee shop and a creepy antique store later and we found ourselves at the banquet hall where I started to meet some of your Merced fam. We helped out for a while and realized how much it felt like college, helping out and setting up for a banquet, and it brought back good memories. After saying bye to my new friends we headed out to explore the bustling metropolis that Merced is, you were the boss and tour guide here as you showed me around telling me stories of where you would go hang out, where you used to run, your old apartments and every now and then I would interject telling you “HEY I’VE BEEN HERE TOO!” It was great hearing your stories from college and made it easier to imagine 2011-2015 Tiff and all the wonderful memories you made there. After a Tacobell snack at the park we went on to your little’s house to prepare for the banquet. The rest of night consisted of me admiring you in your little black dress, and hearing other people rave about how good you looked as well, seeing you with your line, and your fraternity and people saying, “I’ve heard so much about you!” Was heartwarming as we ate and danced for a bit at the banquet. However the real party would be afterwards and it felt like I was transported back to my college days as we stripped down to comfier and more fitting house party clothes. The pregame began, and the warmth from the alcohol went hand in hand with the warm night in Merced. It was amusing to see how our night unraveled as we snuck in the back of the house to avoid bouncers into a dark and humid room with a bunch of dabs grinding and dudes being bros. Then as soon as the alcohol ran out, we jumped over to the next party, until the college drama started and we ended walking out and back through the neighborhood to our pregame spot. A few shots later, and a few lines as well and everyone was having a great time with both new and old friends. After a the cops showing up, and people knocking out or being too drunk the party started to dwindle down and we found ourselves on the couch you and your hot pocket, and me in tears about how much I love you. After waking up and getting ready a quick photoshoot with my film camera and we found ourselves on campus for your little’s grad shoot. Some quick thai food after and a couple of good byes to both your littles we were back on the road to the bay. Our April weekend coming to an end up on the hills of Berkeley, with the sunset and some “vegan pizza.”

May

The first half of May, you found yourself halfway across the world, exploring the old continent. Your two week cruise vacation across Europe would bring you to Denmark, Norway, Germany, Estonia, Russia, Finland, and Sweden. You explored new and old cities, and we would be in touch sparingly as you were in and out of wifi connection, we would webcam at odd hours, but either way it made me happy you were back in Europe because you speak so fondly of it. And despite not having a good connection you still managed to send me constant videos, pics, and updates while I was sleeping or in class, and it made me excited to be able to webcam you even if it was for like 5 minutes. Once you were back in the States, it was a struggle for a couple days for you to make it past 8 without knocking out whenever we would webcam.

The second half of the month was filled with many adventures as we saw each other not once but twice! In a weekend full of firsts I can’t help but highlight how amazing it was to experience camping with you in such a picturesque part of California, the visuals in your car and just melting in your seat as the music took us to a different dimension, and then the journey through middle earth that we undertook while on shrooms, even though we probably only walked like 100 yards in real life, dying at Jared’s exaggeration of “Car… Car… Car…” and Steven’s “IT’S A MILLION MILES AWAY.” And then our intimate bath experience under a sky full of stars and the waves crashing beneath us was truly a magical moment. Showering naked in public and smelling the earthy body wash and looking over the darkness is something I will hold onto because it was such a unique experience. And coming back to cuddle in the tent until it was time for us to leave and do another mini road trip. A drive that took us to the little underwhelming McWay Falls, Sharkfin Cove, Carmel, Santa Cruz there’s nothing better than driving back to SF jamming out to Christian music. This time our good bye didn’t feel too sad because we would be seeing each other the weekend after.

The last weekend of May was wild as all of Norcal came down to “surprise” Ben for his birthday. Even though the surprise failed it was still a great way to show our best friend how much we appreciate him as we got lit to wine, met and fed a few friendly floofs, and rented out an Airbnb to continue the party for the rest of the weekend. Four full days of you and I was feeling quite spoiled. My favorite memories from that weekend were exploring the south side of OC, and playing spikeball as the sunset, all the cuddle sessions of sleeping for four nights together, letting you drive Aria down to our airbnb as I DJ’ed, and feeling like our time together was never going to end, playing table tennis, and basketball with you , and having the opportunity to share so many different plates of food with you everywhere we went.

June started off great as well as I saw you for the third consecutive week, this time you decided to pull of an Illenium like I had done last year and had decided to surprise me to go see my favorite dubstep DJ, MaRLo, at the almost legendary Exchange. We decided to surprise the trance fam squad after getting some dranks up somewhere in the LA skyline and then going back to the car so you could change and we could pregame a little more, and I remember that while Char spazzed out over you, some people weren’t that happy to see you *cough.* And even though our time this weekend was short lived I am grateful that you were so down to do something like that for me.

Our first official summer get together was coming up to see you! My first time at Temple, and to top it off having a table with bottle service, seeing Jazz get litty like we hadn’t seen, and then singing Cinema with Steven as lit you got the better of me and we ended up having an argument outside El Faro. A little funny now that I think about it, but like every other argument before this it always ends on a positive note with one of us seeing the mistake in their reasoning, apologizing or compromising and learning from our mistakes, a walk through the hood, and we found ourselves back at Evelyn’s where you accidentally stayed the night by knocking out on the couch after stuffing our faces on El Faro burritos. I remember the day after was a really warm one as we wandered the Castro to Dolores park a little high on brownies. Thinking how great it was to experience one of SF’s unique festivals with you and some matcha ice cream from your favorite spot. The day after was probably one of favorites too as we walked around the main parade but had to end the day early because Bryan had to leave early. But this didn’t stop us from coming back to the celebrations, except this time we had some fizzy Rosé to accompany us as we walked back to Civic Center where the main event was taking place. Taking in the atmosphere of such an event and having you there to talk about which one us would make it to 90K first made my flight down a happy one, as I reminisced about you, the cherry cooler we bought later on, our time in the backseat next to the park, and the delicious lasagna.

[mapleleafstrash]

Offbeat (Part Two) - Auston Matthews

A/N: Due to all the positive feedback I was really motivated to get this up asap! Let me know what you think!! :)

Thanks for all the support as always guys, and I’m pleased to announce I’ve reached over 500 followers!! WOW!!

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Auston Matthews (Feat. Connor Brown, Morgan Rielly, William Nylander, Zach Hyman, Mitch Marner, and Kasperi Kapanen)

Words: 4,625

Warnings: Language 

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven]

“You didn’t mention this was a group excursion,” you gritted out, as your best friend just grinned sheepishly towards you.

When Connor had invited you up to his family’s cottage for the long weekend, you hadn’t expected a bunch of his Leafs buddies to be joining. Sure, one or two, but not six. That seemed a bit drastic.

Now as you stood with your arms crossed in Connor’s driveway, Kasperi’s familiar jeep pulled up, and Zach arrived shortly after in his own vehicle.

“Oh c'mon babes, we have more girls with us this time,” Madison chirped from beside Connor, her pink tinted ray bans flashing in the sunlight. She looked absolutely stunning today. With her long hair, down in waves, and a cute beach outfit on, Madison looked beautiful. While you, well you didn’t feel so attractive.

You had your hair up in a pony tail, and one of your many ball caps on. You were wearing your pair of worn out keds, along with your set of rolled up light wash jean capris. On top, you were adorning your lucky t-shirt. It was from a hockey tournament you had won when you were sixteen. The grey coloured material had pulled over time, and a few holes could be found along some of the seams. Due to the holes, you had just put on a bandeau underneath, leaving a few glimpses of your pale skin free for anyone to see.

If you had known it wasn’t just going to be you, Connor, and Madison, you would’ve made a better effort to clothe yourself this morning.

When you saw the other Leaf girlfriends who were joining you, you definitely wanted to go die. Alannah, Zach’s lovely girlfriend, was a sweetheart, but she was also a bombshell. The funny part was that Zach knew it and loved to show his long-term girlfriend off. The other girlfriend, Annika you believed, was everything you weren’t, which made you cringe. She was tiny, but her body was sculpted beyond belief. Yep, there was no way you would be going out to the lake this entire trip.

“Y/N!”

You sent your Swedish friend a smile, as William charged up towards you. You hadn’t seen him since your club night a couple weeks ago as he had gone back home to visit his family.

“Hey Will,” you greeted, and laughed when the power forward gave you a tight hug and lifted you slightly.

“How’s my favourite Canadian?” he questioned, causing a loud shout of “Hey!” to come from both Connor and Zach, who were preoccupied with packing the latter’s trunk.

You stifled a giggle, “I’m alright, how was Sweden?”

“It was awesome,” he sighed, a smile appearing on his lips as he thought of his home country, “you’ll have to come next time Y/N, you’d love it,”

“Maybe one day,” you replied, and William’s lips suddenly made an ‘O’ shape. “Speaking of the trip, I brought you back some presents,”

“What? You didn’t have to do that,” You said as William scrambled back to Kasperi’s jeep.

“Well yeah, I had too, besides it’s nothing huge or anything,” William shrugged, as he handed you the small giftbag.

Taking the tissue paper out, you laughed as you pulled out two boxes of Swedish cookies. William had kept them stashed away at his apartment, claiming they were too good to share. But one night in front of most of the guys, William did allow you to have one, as you were his favourite Canadian after all.

“There’s one more,” William told you, as he took the sweet treats out of your hand.

Reaching in, you chuckled and shook your head when you pulled out the bright yellow shirt. “Did you seriously get me your shirsey?”

“It’s a limited addition Y/N, they’re from the world championship, so I thought you could add it to your collection,” William explained, a hint of humour in his voice. It had become a running gag in your group of friends to give you their hockey gear as presents.

“Thanks Will,” you smiled, giving him a one-armed embrace.

“Hey! You didn’t get me anything!” Kasperi complained, as he joined you both.

“That’s because you’re spoiled Kappy. Besides, you’ve been to Sweden, where Y/N here hasn’t joined us yet,” William pointed out, giving his best friend a shove. “When I take her to Sweden, we’ll come visit you in Finland,”

“Hey party people!”

Looking over, you grinned and waved towards Morgan, who himself had just arrived. “Is that everyone?” you then questioned, looking towards Connor specifically.

“Auston and Mitch should be here any second,” he replied, and your stomach dropped. Of course, he was coming.

“So how are we dealing with the seating situation?” Zach then asked, approaching your group.

“Well Mads and I are coming with you and Alannah. Leaving the seven of you,” Connor explained.

“Well why don’t Y/N and Will come with me, and then Mo can go with Matts and Marns?” Kasperi suggested, and I nodded, silently agreeing with the Finnish Leaf.

“Yeah, okay, sounds good, now we just have to wait for dumb and dumber,” Morgan sighed, and Connor nodded, “Matts said they were on their way,” and just as he finished his sentence, the sound of Mitch’s car revved around the corner.

“You’re late,” Zach chastised when Auston rolled down the passenger window when Mitch’s car came a stop in front of the house.

“Sorry, dumbass here got lost,” Auston sighed, earning him a smack from Mitch.

“Well let’s go, we’re burning daylight here,” Morgan said, making his way up to Mitch’s rear door, and slipping in.

As you turned away to walk towards Kasperi’s vehicle, you stopped when Auston’s eyes caught yours.

“Hey Y/N! You need a ride?” Auston’s voice called out to you. Morgan then wiggled his eyebrows from the back seat and Mitch sent you a playful wink.

“Nah, she’s coming with me!” William’s smooth voice then replied, answering for you as he pulled you along. You sent Auston an apologetic smile as the Swede hauled you away, while he just raised an eyebrow.

“You made the right choice Y/N,” Kasperi chuckled as you and William slid into his back seat. “We’re the cool car,”

You snorted, “okay Kap,”

The three cars pretty much drove together for most the ride. It was about a two-hour drive to Connor’s cottage, and you’d done it multiple times throughout the years, so you knew what to expect.

You mostly just stared out the window, and bopped your head slightly to the sound of the music coming through the cars’ speakers. The conversation between William, Kasperi, and Annika filtered through your ears but you honestly weren’t paying too much attention. Your stomach was still in knots. The thought of spending four days with Auston and being at a cottage caused your insecurities to run rampant through your head.

You had decided you wouldn’t be going anywhere near the lake, as you didn’t want to wear a bathing suit around any of the guys, let alone Auston. You were semi-disappointed that meant not being able to participate in any of the water sports, but you knew you’d be able to go boating. What about room arrangements? Connor only had five rooms and a pull-out couch. Knowing your luck, you’d end up on the lumpy sofa bed. You sighed just thinking about it.

“So Y/N,”

Turning your head away from the window, you looked towards Kasperi’s blonde girlfriend, who was looking at you intently.

“Oh here we go,” you heard Kasperi sigh, earning a chuckle from the boy sitting next to you.

“You and Auston huh?” She asked, raising her eyebrows and sending you a grin. You groaned and turned back away. You didn’t want to hear what she had to say.

“Annika!” Kasperi chided, sending her a look and she pouted, “What? It was just a question,”

You sighed and decided to play along, “what about it?”

“Well how long have you liked him?” she asked, blinking her big blue eyes towards you.

“Is it that obvious?” you questioned, snapping your head back in defeat.

“At least he’s clueless,” William said, patting you on the thigh in comfort.

“I think it’s cute,” Annika smiled, “you’d be the lovable, dorky, odd couple,”

As her words sunk into you, the feeling of utter dread seeped back into your body. You knew she didn’t mean it in a rude way, but it still hurt regardless. “I see,”

“Y/N,” William sighed, knowing exactly where your thoughts were going. “She didn’t mean it like that,”

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it in a bad way! It’s just that the girls Auston typically go for aren’t exactly like you,” she explained, “as in like you’re not his type. Oh, crap, no I mean, I just,”

“Annika!” Kasperi scolded again, and she firmed her lips together.

“It’s fine,” you finally voiced, bringing your knees up to your chest and staring back out the window at the passing forest terrain, “it’s not like she’s wrong,”

“Y/N,”

“We’re almost here anyways, it’s the next left,” you spoke, hoping to end the conversation.

As Kasperi pulled up onto the long gravel drive way, you smiled slightly at the familiar sight. The Brown Family Cottage looked as good as ever. The beautiful home had a long balcony that stretched around the front, and held a path that led down to the small beach. The cottage also came with a newly finished boat house, that held two boats and a few different seadoo’s. The best part however, was that you could go up onto the top of the structure, and either sun bathe, or star gaze, whichever met your fancy. The beach was complete with the long dock that stretched out past the boat house, and led to the deeper water.

“Wow,” William breathed out from next to you, and you flashed him a smile as you both made your way towards the cottage home. Carrying your bag in, you set it down onto the long table.

Once you walked in, you immediately found yourself in the kitchen and dining room area. Further in sat the entertainment area, which included a flat screen, a sound system, and a piano, along with the wood-stone fire place. Past that, was the rec-room. Memories of playing mini-stick hockey with Connor made their way through your head. You used to spend countless hours on rainy days playing in there.

To the left of the main room, held the long hallway which led to the five different bedrooms. There was the very large master, two suites, and then two regular sized rooms. There was one bathroom as well, but it was mainly for the two bedrooms that didn’t come with their own ensuites.

“I call master!”

You were pushed to the side when Mitch zoomed past you. Turning back, you almost ran into Auston’s chest, who had clearly followed his hyperactive teammate through the front door. You opened your mouth to speak but closed it as Connor’s girlfriend ran past the both of you.

“Mitchell Marner, it does not work like that!” Madison screeched as she chased after him, wanting to claim her room.

Auston chuckled softly as you suddenly heard a loud 'ow!’ echo from down the hall.

“Y/N, you can just use your normal room, okay?”

Grabbing your attention, you nodded towards Connor and walked past Auston, tracing back your steps to collect your bag. You were inwardly thrilled you were getting your own room. No lumpy sofa-bed for you!

About twenty minutes later, you were lounging in the living room with Morgan and William on either side of you. Once the room arrangements had finally been decided, everything seemed to be going smoothly.

“I just don’t get why I have to be on the couch,” Mitch muttered, as he walked in to join us, taking a seat on the small sofa across the room.

“We all drew straws Mitch, fair is fair,” Auston said, taking a seat next to him.

Auston, William, and Morgan would be sharing the other remaining bedroom, which came with a double bed and a bunk bed. Leaving poor Mitch on the sofa.

“But Y/N gets that entire room to herself,” Mitch whined, “it’s a queen-sized mattress, she doesn’t need all that space,”

You suddenly felt bad. He wasn’t wrong, you didn’t need all the space but you wanted your privacy, which was precisely why you were given your own room in the first place.

“Maybe one of the guys will let you cuddle?” You said, and the two boys on either side of you and Auston all suddenly looked upwards, avoiding yours and Mitch’s gaze.

“Well don’t you all volunteer at once,” you laughed sarcastically.

“Who’s ready for the lake!”

The five of you all turned your head towards Madison, who had come out of the master suite in her bright bikini. William whistled low causing you to whack him hard in the gut.

“I’m going to take the boat out too, so if you want to join, now would be the time,” Connor added, walking in behind her.

“Nah, Lannah and I are going to go tan,” Madison then told her boyfriend, and flashed a grin when Zach’s girlfriend also came into the room in her bathing suit.

Connor rolled his eyes as the two walked past him and out towards the beach area.

“I’ll come,” you spoke up, causing Connor to send you a grateful grin. You knew you wouldn’t have to go into the water, and you always loved boating with your best friend.

“Anyone else?” Connor questioned, as you stood up to join him.

“I think I’m going to take a nap, jet lags killing me,” William then said, stifling a yawn.

“Mitch and I wanted to go fishing off the dock,” Morgan explained, while Mitch nodded.

“We ready?”

Zach then appeared into the room with his swim shorts on and his sunglasses perched on the top of his head.

“Auston what are you going to do?” Connor then asked the younger boy and he shrugged, “I guess I’ll come with you guys,”

“Sweet, now let’s go,” Zach said, moving towards the door. You chuckled and walked beside Connor as you followed the older boy down to the lake. You could hear Auston’s footsteps trailing behind as the four of you went down to the boathouse.

“You can actually drive this thing, right? Like legally?”

Connor scoffed while you just chuckled. “Yes Zachary, I can,” he bit out, as you all made your way down the dock and towards the boat.

“I’m so excited,” you grinned. Just thinking of the wind in your hair and the light mist from the lake made feel right at home. Connor just sent you a knowing smile.

Once you reached the boat, Connor leaped into the water vehicle, while Zach shakily stepped in from off the dock. Auston followed Connor’s lead, his long legs allowing him to hop in easily.

Crouching down, you gripped the edge of the dock, and placed one foot down into the swaying boat.

“Here, take my hand,”

Looking up, you flashed Auston a grateful smile and took his hand, as he helped you safely into the boat. “Thanks Auston,”

“No worries,” he shrugged, sending you a small smile.

“Hey Y/N, would you mind untying the ropes for me?” Connor then asked, as he pulled the buoys into the boat while Zach had taken a seat in the passenger chair, pulled his shades down, and placed his feet up comfortably onto the small dash.

“Princess here has already gotten comfortable,” Connor pointed out, snickering at his teammate causing Zach to just simply flip him the bird.

“Yeah sure,” you smiled, stepping back towards the edge of the boat and untying the three knots keeping your boat at bay.

Once you’d untied the ropes, you waited for Connor to start the motor before you pushed off from the dock, allowing the boat to float out into the open water.

As Connor pulled out of the small bay, you took a seat at the head of the boat, opposite Auston who himself was already staring out around the lake.

You passed by many small islands and lots of other gorgeous cottages. You were heading to the marina to get some gas to bring back for the weekend to fuel the boat and the seadoo’s. It was a twenty-minute ride out to the small marina, which was located on the other side of the lake.

Staring out into the sparkly blue water, you adjusted your hat and placed your fly away strands behind your ears. Connor and Zach had fallen into their own conversation but you were having a hard time hearing them due to the sound of the water coupled with the loud revving coming from the motor.

“So how many times have you been up here?”

Turning to look back at Auston you shrugged, “I probably couldn’t count, Connor used to drag me up here all the time when we were little,” you explained, “we’d come out three or four separate times during the summer,”

Auston nodded, “must’ve been nice,”

“Yeah, it was,” you grinned to yourself. “It was a little escape from everything,”

“I can see the appeal,” Auston spoke, as he looked back out at the surrounding scenery, “now I know why everyone in Canada seems to be obsessed with cottage country,”

“Well when you’re living in the city all year, its nice to come out here and just unwind. Get back to reality, right?” you said, curving your lips upwards.

Auston smirked, “Yeah, I think we all need a bit of that,”

Once you arrived at the marina, you stood up and helped Connor properly connect to the dock. As you began retying the ropes against the dock you smiled to yourself once you realized Auston had also stood and was tying the rope next to you. By the time you had finished your one, Auston had completed the other two. You were surprised to say the least but you just shrugged it off.

The four of you hopped up onto the dock and walked down to the gas meter. Connor had brought four gas canisters that needed to be filled, so you each carried one. While you waited for the marina employee to fill the canisters, you stayed with Connor while Zach and Auston walked into the convenience store to grab some drinks.

As you stood tapping your foot up against the wooden dock, Connor conversed with fuel attendant. Your eyes trailed around your surroundings, looking at all the different people and the different boats that were around. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as busy as you thought it’d be for a Friday afternoon, but you supposed it was better for you. You usually had to wait for your turn in line to buy gas so it was a pleasant surprise when you found the line was empty.

Turning around to look back out onto the water, your eyes widened suddenly.

“Shit!”

Running back down the dock, you heard Connor question you while you ran away, “What? Y/N What’s wrong- Oh fuck!”

Connor’s boat obviously hadn’t been properly secured and had begun floating away. Even though it hadn’t gotten too far, it was well enough away from the dock. You could hear your friend’s heavy footsteps trailing after you as you sprinted to the end of the wooden platform. Without thinking, you took your phone out of your front pocket and dropped it down onto the dock safely and kicked your flip flops off before you dove into the water.

Your nerves screamed within you as your body hit the ice-cold lake water. Kicking your legs, and sending you upwards, you took a huge breath as you popped up to the surface.

“Shit that’s cold,” you cried out as you pushed on, hoping to get used to the water’s temperature sooner rather than later. Because you were in such a deep part of the lake, it was much cooler than the water back at the cottage.

“Y/N!” Connor called out to you, but you put your head down and began swimming forward, your arms and your legs moving as fast as they could.

“What the hell?! What happened?”

That was Zach, who had clearly witnessed the commotion.

As you kept swimming ahead, your limbs were beginning to get tired. It seemed that even though you were swimming further and further out, the boat just kept drifting away. You were determined to catch it, but you weren’t sure if you were going to have the strength or the energy to push it back. It was too big for you to be able to do it on your own. You figured you’d have to climb in and either drive it or paddle back.

“Are you okay?!” Connor yelled out to you, and you turned back slightly and gave him the thumbs up.

Once you finally caught up, you reached up to grip the side of the boat to try and pull yourself up and over the edge. You grimaced as your arms cried out for you to stop. You typically weren’t even able to pull yourself up out of a pool without using stairs let alone a boat. But you were bound and determined this time, and despite the pain and fatigue you were able to put your foot up onto the side and lift your body up and over the edge.

Rolling over, you landed onto your back and placed your hands onto your stomach. Breathing in and out deeply you sighed and closed your eyes, trying to catch your breath.

“Y/N!”

Sitting up, you stood shakily and looked back towards the dock. Auston had now joined the others and him, along with Connor looked extremely concerned where as Zach looked absolutely stunned you’d been able to swim out that far.

“Just take a minute!” Connor told you, “make sure you catch your breath!”

Sending him another thumbs up, you keeled over and placed your hands onto your knees, making sure to ventilate properly. Taking another deep breath, you then walked down to the end of the boat. Looking at the ignition system, you groaned when you noticed Connor had taken the keys with him, leaving you no choice but to use the spare paddle that was lying in the back near the motor.

Picking the wooden oar up, you took a wide stance and began paddling the boat back to the dock. You winced as your arms continued to throb, but you knew you couldn’t stop.  About five minutes later, you were only about fifty feet out from the dock. Noticing you struggling, Connor took action.

“I’m coming Y/N!” Connor then proclaimed, as he stripped his shirt off and jumped into the water, leaving Zach and Auston behind.

Popping up, he took quick strides as he made his way out to you. Groaning from pain and from his weight, you helped Connor roll over into the boat. Pulling him in you let out a large sigh of relief. As he walked over towards the driver’s seat you plopped down square onto your bum, and tossed the paddle away.

“Please tell me you brought the keys,” you wheezed out, as you laid back down onto the floor, and Connor chuckled, “I’m not that dense Y/N,”

“Thank god,” you sighed, closing your eyes and feeling a sense of relief when you heard the boats motor turn on.

You sat up when you felt Zach and Auston jump into the boat. Thankfully, they were kind enough to load the boat.

“Y/N, that was really fucking cool, like totally badass,” Zach admitted, and you rolled your eyes, “thanks Hymy,”

“Here, I made sure it stayed safe,” Auston said, as he pulled your phone out of his hoodies pocket. You sent him a thankful smile.

“I need a beer,” you groaned out, as you slowly lifted your body up off the floor, and fell down onto the leather passenger seat.

“You need a medal,” Connor joked back as he turned the boat around to begin to head back to the cottage.

“What the hell happened anyways? I thought you tied the boat down Y/N,” Zach then questioned.

You shrugged, shaking your head, “I thought I did,”

“It was my fault,” Auston then spoke up, “I didn’t tie it down properly, which was probably why Y/N’s knot got loose.”

You knew he was right. He was spot on. But you weren’t blaming him, you should’ve double checked.

“Accidents happen,” you sighed, trying to make him feel better, but he shook his head, “I should’ve been the one to swim out all that way though, not you,”

“It was instinct, I didn’t have time to think or place blame Auston, I just saw the boat floating away and I acted, don’t worry about it,” you explained and he nodded, but turned his body away from the three of you.

Zach waved his hand, silently telling you to ignore him, but you couldn’t help but pout slightly. You didn’t want him feeling guilty.

By the time you got back, everyone immediately questioned why you were sopping wet. Connor had dried off quicker due to him only wearing his swim trunks, where you were still wearing your full outfit.

“I think I’m just going to go lay down,” you spoke up once you all had gotten back onto the beach.

Everyone seemed to understand, and you headed up to the cottage. Shrugging your flip flops off, you went into the bathroom and stripped yourself of your soaking clothes. Using one of the many bath towels under the sink, you dried yourself with the fluffy material, and hung your clothes over the side of the tub.

Pulling your hair out of its pony tail, you grimaced when you noticed how knotted it was. Exiting the bathroom, you walked into your bedroom and closed the door quietly. Grabbing your hair brush, and dropping your towel, you stood in front of the vanity’s mirror and attempted to brush through your tattered hair.

You screamed out in frustration, and slammed your brush down onto the vanity when the knot in your hair just seemed to get worse and worse. You didn’t have the energy or patience to deal with it right now. You figured you’d just go have a nap and then go shower afterwards. A thick glob of conditioner was sure to do the trick.

Suddenly without warning two quick knocks rapped against your door and just as you were about to speak, you squeaked instead when your bedroom door was thrown wide open. You reached back to grab your towel, but it was already too late, the damage had already been done.

Starring wide eyed, you took a step back as Auston Matthews stood in your doorway, his eyes surprised, but not shocked as you thought they would be. You were shocked enough for the both of you. He licked his lips as he watched you, and you shook your head.

“Auston!” you screamed, wanting him to get out.

He didn’t respond, as his eyes instead trailed up and down your barely-covered body. Your heart was rapidly beating and your throat had gone dry. You were beyond embarrassed. You were absolutely mortified.

“Auston! Get out!” you squeaked out again, this time getting his attention.

But rather than turn around and leave, Auston shocked you by stepping fully into your bedroom. His brown eyes never left yours, and you suddenly recognized the look he was giving you. You took a shaky breath and gulped, this wasn’t happening. You then took another step back, as Auston slammed your bedroom door closed, and stared you down.