#i didn't today but at least i got something done. tomorrow less time in the morning but still some because it's probably not enough time

[tellodona]

silly little om request if you don’t mind

om brothers with an mc who tends to overheat/gets sensory issues from clothes so they just tend to walk around in their underwear, usually they’d do it in their room but this time they weren’t bothered enough to put anything on so they just like walked into the living room or something

can be male mc can be gender neutral up to you

and happy new year btw _(┐「ε:)_

i don't mind at all ! and happy new years to you as well !

the brothers with an mc who has heat sensory issues

heads up: gn!mc, slightly suggestive in asmo's (expected, really)

lucifer

he's busy as he usually is in his study, naturally, but he'd of course stand up and leave for a while to do something. maybe get something to eat or drink or make sure half of the house hasn't burnt down to the ground yet

as he exits, he passes by the living room and nods to himself when he peeks in that it's still in shape, the fire still crackling in the fireplace, you in your underwear, the couches are still there-

wait

mc, why are you in your underwear???????

he does a double take, blinks like three times

oh diavolo, you are in your underwear

he doesn't even think much how it would affect him, he's more or less concerned about you since it was a colder weather today

"mc, why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

he would confront you with the most confused face ever, but there was still a frown

be glad he was the one who found you and you're in the house of lamentation, because if lesser demons-

oh, you have sensory issues

he stops himself from talking for a while

after a minute, he nods in understanding

humans do have a different body construction, after all

but he can't just have you walking around the house in your underwear and ushers you to go back to your room

as soon as you wake up in the morning, you'd find the house a little colder, your uniform loosely fitted, and a message in the group chat about installing air conditioning

mammon

he just got home from his modeling gig in majolish, and they gave him a few bags as samples from his photoshoot

he is totally going to show them to his favorite human!

bags in hand, he trudges to your room with a wide grin

a few steps away, the door suddenly opens and you walk out

he was about to greet you when he looks down

oh his face is red

"MC!!!!!!!! YOU DUMB HUMAN!!!!!!!!"

as if he was running for his life, he dashes to you and pushes you back in your room and closes the door behind him

it was like his whole body was boiling from embarrassment

"wear something, for devil's sake!"

he has the back of his hand on his eyes, and is looking away, his face red

the both of you are just standing still

he isn't looking at you at all

"are ya done or what?????"

he hasn't heard you move

you carefully explain to him why you're just in your underwear

oh

he gulps, then he feels the bags from majolish beside his feet

he kicks them towards you

"check them if they're comfortable... o- of course! you'll owe the GREAT mammon for this one!"

they were absolutely comfortable, i'm imagining mammon naturally taller than you as a demon, so the clothes are a little bigger than you

if you thank him, he'll go "obviously, this is something your f- first man should do! thank me a ton!" and he still haven't looked you in the eye

tomorrow, he brings you to a tailor to resize your rad uniform

he'll always bring a mini fan everywhere you both go

leviathan

this man hasn't left his room in weeks probably

it's time for the super secret mission!

mission: get food from the kitchen without being seen!

he tiptoes out of his room, closes his door as quietly as possible and-

slams right into you

the both of you fall to the ground, him right on top of you

o. m. D! is this that trope where the mc and the love interest bump into each other and have a romantic look into each other-

"i- i- i- i'm so sorry, mc! i didn't-"

he looks down and realizes

he SCREECHES

jumps right off of you, like, this man at least jumps five feet in the air as he does so

maybe because they're used to it, the brothers didn't even think of checking in on him

this man is crying

and is also a blushing mess

he keeps repeating sorry over and over that you had to shake his shoulders to get him to listen to you

you explain in simple details about why you're in your underwear and make sure he's getting everything into his head

he stops for a moment, and nods slowly

he understands how you feel, he himself has his own sensory issues too, and a little surprised his friend is the same way

"s- still... i'm sorry, mc..."

after he got his food and drinks, he spent the whole night researching and sewing

you wake up to a pile of clothes on your desk

satan

is in the library reading god knows what

he's very into whatever he's reading, but he hears light foot steps entering the library

knowing it's you, he greets you before looking up at you

he errors

he slams his book right onto his face, you could see the tips of his ears tinged red

"m- mc... why aren't you wearing anything?" you could barely hear his muffled voice

you mention why

he still hasn't put the book down

"i- i see..."

he slowly stands up, book still in his face, and walks out of the library (he trips like three times), once he's out, he puts away the book and dashes to his room

he spends the whole day studying

when you were finished doing whatever you needed to do in the library, the atmosphere felt a little colder

your phone pinged with a notification in the group chat with "we'll be experiencing human world winter for a while" "what"

asmodeus

was actually looking for you

you're not in your room, you're not in his room, you're not in the library-

just where are you, mc?!

he passes by the music room and sees a lone figure inside, in their underwear

? huh

what's a lesser demon half-naked doing in their-

oh, it's you

...

IT'S YOU

"mc, what are you doing here? i've been looking all over for you!"

he whines as he goes to you, but wears a sly smile and a cute blush on his face

"why are you in your underwear, hm?"

he leans closer, but is in a comfortable distance still in case you might pull away

you explain to him about it

his mouth goes o and nods in understanding

"is that so, mc? you should've told me!"

he practically drags you to his room and looks through his stacks and stacks of oils, lotions, literally anything

you're now holding five bottles of cold-feeling lotion, three stacks of clothing, hair pins, hair clips and hair ties

"hm... i think those are too little..." they're too much

just tell him if you ran out, mc! he'll personally scavenge the entire devildom for every stock!

before you know it, majolish is advertising oversized clothes

beelzebub

he just got home from his morning jog, sweat all over him

he's so hungry... maybe sneaking in a bite before breakfast wouldn't hurt...

he sees you in the kitchen wearing nothing but your underwear

oh, and you're also sweaty

his cheeks tint red a little, as he looks away, embarrassed

he clears his throat, "oh, uhm... did you also work out, mc?"

maybe

you'll explain to him while you hand him a sandwich

he munches on the sandwich, before nodding slowly

"oh... is it like food overcooking?"

...?????

nobody knows the answer to that, chat

you just nodded and went about your day

from then on, you start to notice beel always offering you a bottle of water every time you see each other

he also brings a cup of ice cream with him and somehow it doesn't melt and he only ate like a spoon of it before giving it to you

belphegor

he can't sleep peacefully

so he snuck out when beel was snoring, and went to the planetarium

he sees you sitting on the pile of comforter and pillows he set up and he grinned

oh, he's definitely going to sleep-

where are your clothes.

he physically stops, mouth open

you only turn to see he's there when he drops his favorite pillow on the ground

he's malfunctioning

"mc... where the hell are you clothes??"

his cheeks are bright red

doesn't even look away because of the shock

you explain it to him as much as possible because he looks like he's about to drop dead

"oh... huh."

he hesitantly sits down beside you

"so... what do you do about it? just walk around butt-naked?"

you end up talking about it the whole night until he just falls asleep on your lap

you wake up to find him missing, but a fan is by your body

this was so fun to write !

[thecurioustale]

My 6-Week Tumblr Return Trial Period Is Up

Happy Autumn! Today is the Autumnal Equinox. (That is, if you're in the Pacific Daylight Time zone or earlier; it's actually tomorrow, the 23rd. The moment of equinox is 11:49 pm PDT this year.)

I came back to Tumblr six weeks ago (actually a little shy of seven weeks but six is the highest whole number) and said that I was going to give it consistent effort till the Equinox to see how I felt about it. Well, that day is today!

I've decided to significantly reduce my Tumblr presence, but not go back to zero like before. I still plan to post at least once or twice a week, and more whenever the fancy catches me. I don't want to slow-roll you, so there's the bottom line.

For those interested, I thought I would talk about my experience since returning.

Why I Came Back

A few years ago on my birthday I set myself a challenge of posting in my journal every day for a year—which I more or less did, and then promptly stopped because it had been a laborious thing for me with limited rewards.

This year on my birthday I decided to try that challenge again, except this time "soft": no formal public announcement, and no penalty if I missed a day. Good thing, too, because I missed a day right away! 😅 But I definitely was doing more and better writing on my journal than I had been, and I liked that. Maybe there was a sweet spot between the strict artifice of one journal entry every day and the sad default of no entries for weeks.

Then, a few days into the challenge, I got the idea of diverting this energy away from my journal and into social media, to try and begin the long process of building an audience for my creative works. I recognize with some dread that when I eventually do finish my next novel, no one is going to read it—because no one is going to know it exists. But that's not set in stone; this is something platforms can help with! And you can't just build a platform overnight. You have to start well in advance. In this post-mainstream-publishing era where independent artists' only hope is to create their own following, I knew that I would have to at least try, if I wanted people to actually read my work.

Building a platform is something I had done years ago, around the time the Prelude to After The Hero was coming out, and I was hugely successful at that time in creating lots of content and lots of channels—i.e. the platform part. But I didn't actually get anywhere in building an audience. Then my life fell apart from multiple catastrophes in a short period, and for many years I had no ability to pursue "platform growth" at all.

But I have that ability again, at least temporarily, and maybe this time I could do better.

Marketing and being social are very hard for me. They don't come naturally to me and I am not good at them. But what I can do is write about my creative work, my life, my take on the world, and anything else that comes to mind. With any luck, that would attract some eyeballs. It's the same thing I was doing eight years ago in my platform-building work, but I could be smarter about it this time, and learn from my past mistakes, which involved a lot of wasted effort that no one ever saw. This time I could try going specifically where the people are: social media! Social media was a part of my original platform-building push eight years ago, but only on the periphery. This time I could put all my platform-building into it, and not all the different channels at once, but just in one single place. Concentrate all my effort on a single point!

So I chose Tumblr: the only social media platform that still seems to reward long-form, thoughtful content. (Not counting YouTube video content.) Facebook is definitely on the way out as a relevant social media network, Twitter was unusually toxic even before the idiot took over, and TikTok to put it politely is not my jam. But Tumblr...I still use Tumblr! I still read several people's pages, and have done so for many years.

I was never actually active on Tumblr as a creator myself. As far as posting my own content goes, my social media home has always been on Facebook (and, for a while, Google+). My "return" to Tumblr this summer wasn't really anything of the sort. Even though my account is many years old, this summer was my first time making a big effort here.

And here's what I learned.

What Worked and What Didn't

I went in with very low expectations. In other words, I didn't actually expect anyone to see my work. I expected to put in my six weeks, toil away in obscurity the whole time, and leave.

But a couple people did notice my return, and reblogged my early posts, and between them they had enough followers that their reblogs got me a small influx of followers. (Hi!) So there were eyeballs, at least. I wasn't talking to the wall. It was a good bet that anything I wrote would at least have a chance of being seen by multiple other people.

A good start!

I set about trying to learn about the Tumblr algorithm and people's usage patterns. I learned that there is a very strong signal to set apart the content that people enjoy seeing and the content they don't. On the scale of Zero to Fire, a lot of what I wrote was either hard Zero or pretty decently Fire.

In the Zero category: My short-form humor was dead on arrival. So was my Tolkienian vocabulary series. My fat liberation essay—by far the biggest effortpost I made during my six weeks here—attracted a single troll and no legitimate engagement whatsoever. At 7700 words I doubt many people even read it. Cool art reblogs were also pretty much a Zero. The people in my tiny audience don't want to see any of this stuff, at least not from me.

In the Fire category: People liked my hot takes on copyright law, left-handedness, rationalist-adjacent topics and framings, some personal anecdotes (but not others), and—most promisingly—some of my discussion about the mechanics of authoring and writing, including topics such as redemption arcs, body diversity representation, losing interest in one's own stories, and long sentences. To the extent I am going to attempt to build a larger Tumblr following over time, this "mechanics of authoring" area is probably where I will focus my primary aim.

Not everything was Zero or Fire. There were also some posts in the middle. My posts actually discussing my own work, The Curious Tale and Galaxy Federal, landed in this space. They mostly fell flat for my general audience, but did noticeably better than the hard Zero stuff due to the consistent engagement of a tiny handful of fans. (Thank you, especially you Fip!)

In terms of financial support, six weeks of content creation on Tumblr yielded no book sales and no new patrons on my Patreon fund, though I did get one pledge increase from an existing patron! This isn't a big surprise, since I didn't make any push to attract new patrons and have made no attempt to hide that my book is also available for free. Still, zero is a noticeable number.

What Tumblr Feels Like

I'll be honest with you: I don't really "do" social media. I never have. I don't like social media. I am a creature of individual websites, web journals / blogs, and message forums. Facebook is the social network I use most (if you don't count YouTube), and my Facebook is set up more like a walled garden than a social network node—i.e., it is almost completely restricted to the people on my deliberately-short friends' list. I use it to look at cool pictures of clouds and landscapes, learn about things going on in my city, and keep in touch with friends. I've never really been one to use social media the way it is intended these days.

Nevertheless: Of all the social networks, I've always had a comparatively positive view of Tumblr. Tumblr is where freaks and weirdos come to be freaky and weird, and I love it. (Sometimes in principle more than practice, but still.) There used to be a tumblr called "Fuck Yeah Fat Upper Arms," and that was what I would point to whenever I had to explain to someone why I love Tumblr.

I also know there are notorious amounts of drama and pettiness on Tumblr, but in my experience it isn't so hard to just sidestep it most of the time. Also, I don't follow all that many people, so I probably just don't see much of this stuff in the first place.

When I returned to Tumblr I am pleased to say that it was basically what I hoped for: lots of wonderful niche and countercultural stuff; really thoughtful discussions that get a lot more depth here than almost anyplace else I've seen; and amazing art and fanart. There were lots of takes I didn't like, of course. Lots of stuff that rubbed me wrong. And the drama is definitely alive and well. But that's just life, right? As amplified by social media in all its unnuanced might. On the whole, I have enjoyed my time spent browsing Tumblr these past six weeks.

One thing actually did bring down my spirits about this place, though, and it has nothing to do with drama or takes I don't like: Tumblr feels kind of addictive. Like a giant industrial vat full of churning slurry, and if you fall in there's no getting out. I have an addictive personality, not to booze or drugs (as far as I know) but to content sources, specifically "content-firehose" websites that always have new things to read. I was stuck on GameFAQs for years back in the day, long after it had become a net-negative for me. Right now my big content addiction is Reddit, and it's definitely a net negative in my life for all the time it wastes for so little in return. And there have been many other content addictions in the years between. It's very hard for me to leave a content-firehose website once I've gotten sucked into it. And I really, really don't want to get sucked into Tumblr.

Like, this place is genuinely cool, but it doesn't "do it" for me like it did the last time I paid close attention to it. Fuck Yeah Fat Upper Arms is gone, and with it the innocence of my youth. Social media just isn't my scene, and returning to Tumblr has definitely given me the impression that I've "outgrown" it altogether. (I wrote a few days ago about one of the reasons why I think this.) I don't particularly want to spend a lot of time here. I don't have that content addiction to Tumblr yet, and I can feel myself actively straining to avoid developing it every time I'm on here. That's why I've only been reading my dashboard a few times a week.

I'm not saying social media is something juvenile that everyone is supposed to outgrow; I'm just talking about my own preferences and issues. My ideal use case for Tumble is to check in with Tumblr periodically and see new Samus Aran fanart and hot takes on cool things I've never heard about or thought deeply enough about. But, in practice, reading my Tumblr dashboard feels like dipping my feet in that vat of slurry I mentioned: It's very time-consuming and a lot of the stuff I see I don't really "need" in my life.

This six-week experiment has actually helped me to realize that, going forward, I should be looking to use social media less in my life, not more. It isn't just all-consuming and energy-draining; it has become kind of evil over the years. Tumblr isn't nearly as bad as some of the worst offenders, but on the whole we're slowly being pushed to use these services in very particular ways, ways which degrade us, and it's nefarious. Not just the abuse of our personal information and privacy, but the way we spend our time and think about the world. Social media seems to be making society actively worse on the whole, and that's down to the profit motives of the people who make the rules about how these services operate. It's probably not a coincidence that Tumblr, as one of the least-problematic major social networks, is also not particularly profitable.

I have lamented for years that I wish we would go back to individual people's websites and enthusiast–owned-and-operated message forums. I really think that this viewpoint is not just my nostalgia glasses talking; I think the individual websites paradigm was a better way of experiencing the Internet and interacting with each other. But while I can't do much to change society's patterns in general, I can at least be deliberate about how I engage with social media myself. And I think I'm going to be doing less of that as time goes on.

My actual public face is my Live Journal, even though it has languished for years. Either it or some successor blog is likely to be an ongoing constant for the rest of my life. I hope people will gradually find me there.

The Long Game

You're not gonna build an audience in six weeks. I know that. Also, in my time here, I've only done one of the two things that one needs to do to build an audience on social media: I've created content. I think my content has been more or less decent. (You can tell me if you think otherwise.)

What I haven't done is heavily engage with other content creators. I haven't done many reblogs; I've done zero asks; and I don't follow other tumblrs in a businesslike mindset of network—I only follow the ones I think I might like to read.

If I were to continue, the next step in my trial period would be a 3-month experiment. I've had enough success here in the past six weeks to justify dedicating another three months of my life to daily Tumblr posts if I want.

In that time I would need to focus more on the "networking" side of social networking. On the content side, I would continue trying to figure out what people like to see and what they don't. But it's the networking stuff that would be next in line for my full attention.

I'm also aware that all of my data are biased by the small size of my audience and the nonrandom composition of it. There is a danger in optimizing for that, from a long-term scalability and optimization standpoint. My social networking efforts would have to be geared toward diversifying my audience as much as growing it, because the truth of the matter is that I don't know yet who "my" audience truly is. Most of the people here now are people who are here because they like other creators and respected those people's recommendations—not because they necessarily like my art. The poor showing of my posts discussing my art kind of speak to that point.

So the question is, do I have a 3-month trial period in me? Or even just another 6-week period?

And that's a really tough question. I need to be writing my books, and I need to be paying my rent, and when I'm here on Tumblr I'm not doing either of those things. The best-case scenario is that by being here I'm setting myself up to pay future rents and have more available time for future creative writing. But in the meantime there are rents coming due in the immediate future, and my mental bandwidth is sickly and limited.

Is Tumblr even the place to build my audience? It might not be! It might be YouTube. It probably is YouTube. But Tumblr isn't nothing, and writing short essays is a hell of a lot faster than producing videos. A few loyal Tumblr followers might be just the pop I would need to get a future YouTube effort off to a running start.

One of my flaws as an entrepreneur is that I hate thinking like one when it comes to this whole sales / engagement / audience-building / marketing stuff. I like thinking about people as people, not as economic partners whose tastes and needs I must carefully accommodate to in order to hopefully earn a living from this someday. And I don't like thinking about my own content here as "content." I hate that word. But I am under no illusions about why I am here. I am not here for fun. I've done my Live Journal "for fun" for twenty years (as of last month!) and I have no audience to show for it. Growing an audience is not about having fun. Bonus points if you can manage to have fun along the way, but what it's really about is giving people an experience that they enjoy and want more of.

Social media is a hungry beast, a dehumanizing force (in my view), and an algorithmic rat race. I would much rather create content on my own terms, rather than try to play the social media game. This is one of the many reasons why I am so bad at the whole marketing side of building a business. Successful entrepreneurs dive right into it and give the people what they want. Like that "emotional damage" mate on YouTube: He gave an interview talking about how he just tried different schticks, not even comedy per se, until he found something that worked on people.

In an ideal world, when my next book is finished I could just press a button and everyone in the world know about its existence, and everyone who is interested could buy it and read it. But in the real world, you have to peck and scrape your way to attention, and I'm just so bad at this that it discourages me from even making the attempt.

So, adding it all up, what I come up with is that it would be wasteful for me to just abruptly give up on Tumblr as suddenly as I returned to it. I've started a ball rolling here, and I can build on that beginning if I want. But I also don't think that people need to hear from me on a daily basis. I'm probably not doing myself any favors by posting effortful content every day, not just in terms of my own sustainability but in terms of the algorithms of Tumblr and the mental bandwidth of my readers.

So I've come to the conclusion that Tumblr is probably not where my audience is going to be built, if indeed I ever manage to build one. But there is some potential here, and, more importantly, this is where the vast majority of my current fans are.

Ergo, going forward I will be reducing my posting frequency to a target of once or twice per week, plus whatever extras I see fit to add. I will continue to test out different types of content to see what catches interest. And I will start playing that social networking game that I dread so much, and try to engage more with others and hawk myself far and wide without looking like I'm trying to hawk myself, because for all that we claim to live in an age of sincerity we absolutely don't, and we will see where things go.

I will revisit this at Halloween, and see how I feel about it.

In the meantime, I will try to take some of this bandwidth I am freeing up and allocate it to other audience-building work. More on that as I have it for you!

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and for giving me some of your time. Please please please do give me some feedback if there's anything you want to know or want to see me discuss.

[she-likesorchids]

my dear mandy, you are not only one of my favourite writers but also one of my favourite people 🥰 congrats on 50 love 🥳

could i please make a request for our baby mikey kinsella from the fake dating prompt list? i'll leave the exact prompt up to you, but please, you know what i'm going to ask for - as much amanda slander as possible 😂

- @mindidjarin ❤️

MINDI my love!

So, this one kind of got away from me, but I wanted to deliver on the Amanda slander, so here ya go babe!

I chose the prompt "my ex doesn’t understand it’s over, so I tell them I’ve already got someone new"

LOVE YA BOO, ENJOY!

Michael had grown tired of the song and dance with Amanda. He really wanted to find someone else after Molly, but she just would not stop with her advances. Their relationship was wrong, and Amanda didn't really care, but Michael definitely did. Her advances were getting less and less subtle, and he had to figure out a way to get the message across that he wasn't doing this with her anymore. Unfortunately, after what happened with Molly, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to put himself out there again. 

Molly had transferred to another pharmacy, so at least Michael didn’t have to risk any awkward encounters with her when he was getting his medicine. He first saw you last time he picked up his medication, and he noticed you had a very sweet smile and kind eyes. Maybe the job hadn’t quite gotten to you yet, but he got a very warm and welcoming vibe from you. He definitely thought you were cute, but did he want to go down the road of asking out the cute chemist again? 

Jimmy had invited Michael over to his house for a get-together, and he jokingly encouraged him to bring a date. Michael really didn’t know who he could ask, but he definitely wanted to bring someone along so Amanda would get off his back. It was time to pick up a refill of his medication, and he decided on the walk over that he would ask you to be his date if you were there. He was sort of hoping maybe today was your day off, so he could save himself the embarrassment, but lo and behold you were behind the counter with a smile on your face. 

You felt butterflies in your stomach when you saw Michael walk in. Despite knowing who he was and what he had done, you couldn’t help the silly schoolgirl crush you had developed on him. He didn’t even have to tell you his name, you remembered him from his last visit and went to fetch his medication for him as he approached the counter. 

“Michael Kinsella, right?” you asked in a chipper tone. 

“Uh, yeah. That’s me,” he replied with an awkward wave. 

“Grand! Can you just confirm your date of birth for me?” 

He gave you his date of birth, and you continued ringing up his prescription, but Michael was absolutely mesmerized by your smile and your voice. He finally snapped back to reality when you asked him if he had any questions, and he had to shake his head for a moment to get back in the moment. 

“Are you alright, Mr. Kinsella?” you asked with obvious concern in your voice. You were well versed in CPR and first aid, but you really didn’t want a handsome hitman having a seizure in the middle of the pharmacy.

“Yeah, I’m grand. Sorry.” 

“Oh, it’s alright, Mr. Kinsella.” 

“Please, call me Michael.” 

“Okay, Michael. Do you have any questions for me?” 

Michael could hear his blood rushing through his ears, and he felt like his heart was about to hammer out of his chest.

“Yeah, actually I do. Uh, what are ya doin tomorrow night?” 

Woah. Was he actually asking you out?! Your little schoolgirl daydream was coming true, there was no way this was actually happening. 

“I don’t have any plans, actually. Did you have something in mind?” 

“Yeah, my brother invited me over for dinner, and he said I could bring a plus one, so would ya like to come with me?” 

Accepting an invitation for dinner at the home of a crime family was probably not a smart decision, but, you only live once, right? You figured ‘what the hell’ and decided to accept his invitation. 

“Sure, that sounds lovely. I’m not working tomorrow, but I can meet you here, and I can drive us there.” 

“Wonderful. See ya here tomorrow at seven?” 

“Sure, I’ll see you then, Michael.” 

You said your goodbyes to each other, and you were suddenly feeling giddy at the fact that a handsome customer had asked you out. Michael was happy that he actually had a date to take to Jimmy’s, but now he had to figure out how to break it to you that he wanted you to pretend you had been seeing each other for a while.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Michael showed up at seven o'clock on the dot to escort you to his brother’s house. You had dressed a little nicer than you normally did for work knowing you had a date tonight, and Michael definitely noticed. 

“Wow, ya look nice,” Michael said shyly. 

You felt heat creeping up your cheeks from the compliment, and you couldn’t help but giggle. “Thanks, I do aim to impress,” you replied. 

“Shall we?” Michael said as he gestured across the street. 

“Ya sure, I’m just right over here,” you said as  you led him to your car. 

The ride to Jimmy and Amanda’s was filled with small talk, the two of you asking about each others’ days and such. When you finally pulled up to their house, Michael finally got the nerve to tell you what his motive really was. 

“So, I may have told me family that I’ve been seein’ someone for a while now, and they’re gonna think it’s you.” 

Your eyes went wide, and you suddenly forgot how to form words. “Oh, o-okay. What would give them that impression?” 

“I mighta told them I’d been seein’ the cute chemist and that I was bringin’ ya over t’night.” 

“Wow, well, okay then. So, I guess I gotta keep up the ruse, then.” 

“M’sorry. Truly. If ya wanna just drop me off and leave, I don’t blame ya one bit. But, I’d like ya to stay.” 

You mulled it over for a moment, and against your better judgment, you decided to go to the party with him. It could be a funny story to tell your kids one day, you thought. 

“Ah, what the hell, let’s do it!” 

Michael smiled and kissed your cheek, then the two of you headed into the party hand in hand. He really did like you, but making Amanda jealous was going to be a fantastic bonus.

[y0urnewstepp4r3nt]

Trying my hand at the shovel talks. However, I really don't know how to write and can't stay in one point of view. So sorry about that it's probably annoy but enjoy.

_______________________________

Dustin and Mike

Steve walked into family video expecting to takeover for Keith and spend the next 5 hours being bored out of his mind. What he didn't expect, however, was the little shits bursting into family video as soon as Keith left.

"Steve we have to have a serious talk with you."

Henderson, of course it was, and Wheeler.

"What. What's so important that you barge in here for?"

Henderson had the nerve to look at mini Wheeler like he was already done with Steve.

"Well Steve, we're here cause you can't keep it in your pants and are now dating OUR DM. So if you screw this up like you did with Nancy and he gets sad we suffer. Don't hurt Eddie or we'll kill you."

Henderson just nods agreeing with Wheeler.

"I'm not gonna hurt him chill out."

"No Steve. Mike has a point, you're a resident heartbreaker in the worst way! You can't hurt Eddie because then we suffer aswell and maybe you need to realize that! When you hurt Eddie you'll hurt us. This isn't one of your hot girl dates that you dump with no consequences Steve!"

Before Steve could even open his mouth they had already left. Leaving him to think about what they said and if they really thought he was going to break Eddie's heart. Maybe Mike meant it, but maybe Dustin was just giving Steve a shovel talk first then he was going to Eddie's. That has to be it right? I mean they thought of each other as brother. Steve shrugged it off and continued his ghosttown shift, waiting for Robin to start.

-----------------

Robin

"Ohhh Steve-o! Guess who came to save you from boredom!"

Robin walked in and slammed her hands on the front counter.

"You'll never guess what happened today. Tammy freaking Tompson came and gave a speech about how much the school helped her achieve her Nashville dreams!"

That was definitely something, a Muppet preaching about her Muppet voice success, iconic.

"And you made googley eyes at her the entire time cause you love her muppet voice."

"Oh my god Steeeve! I tell you one time and you never let me live it down. Anyways before you head out as your best friend I have to tell you to be careful with Eddie because sometimes you move to fast and he might get the wrong idea and be hurt."

She's started rambling so Steve cuts her off, feeling a little hurt.

"Rob, I know it'll be fine I won't move too fast he won't get hurt. I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah good see you later dingus drive safe!"

Steve waves and walks to his car frowning. Did he really seem like someone who would hurt Eddie? Robin had a point, he would probably freak Eddie out with his loud love. Maybe he should have thought about that, months ago, before Eds asked him out.

______________

Lucas & Max

Steve was walking up to Eddie and Wayne's trailer when he heard red yell his name and give him a come here gesture. So he turned and jogged over to her and Sinclair. It'll be quick anyway.

"What's up Red, Sinclair."

"We just wanted to let you know that when Eddie feels sad he likes to play music loud. Like at max volume. So if you break his heart just know you'll have to face us."

"Jeez guys I'm not going to break his heart why are you so intense about it"

"Steve if your going to break his heart wait a month until the break so we dont fail."

They both ran back into red's house as Steve started his walk back to Eddie's trailer. At least they said if? That's gotta count for something right, after 3 other shovel talks, if seems pretty optimistic. So Steve walks into Eddie's trailer a little less energetic then when he first got out of the car, but it's fine. He'll be ok.

___________________

[hungrycharizard]

𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

Pairings: Raihan x gn!reader Tags: very slight angst, foul language like twice, kinda sappy Raihan at the end but not really Rating: SFW

"you could at least pretend to be nicer!" you finally snap, fully and wholeheartedly fed up with his public persona.

you'd been standing at the sidelines of the dragon gym turf, conversing with Raihan while he waited for the next poor competitor to come along. fans leaned over the safety railing, cheering and shouting for a small sliver of attention. all eyes on him, Raihan fed into the personality everyone loved from him. which, meant being a douche to you. apparently.

he doesn't flinch. he doesn't apologize. he fucking laughs.

"c'mon, dollface. lighten up a little, you're overreacting." he barks, hands proudly on his hips as he stares down at you.

you jab your finger into the thick material of his hoodie, "i've had it with you! i quit! have fun finding a trainer with enough patience to put up with you."

and with that, you turn and walk out on him. the crowd that was close enough to witness it, gasped. you saw many rotom phones watching you as you stormed off. Raihan sounded unphased as he turned towards his followers, uttering total nonsense. tears pricked in your eyes, he really just didn't care. whatever. that's on him for losing you. trainer after trainer have walked out on him, you lasted the longest for a couple years.

you stomped down the steps, ignoring the agent guarding the bottom. the wild area was quiet and peaceful, unlike the stadium. you didn't stop walking, but you do take a deep breath to try and collect yourself. fuck him. you don't need him.

the more you wandered through the fields, towards the station, the more you regret walking out. then again, he didn't even need you. if you and him hadn't managed to form a friendship, you probably would have been fired. you stood at the station doors, wondering if you should go back or not.

last call for the final train heading towards Wedgehurst meant you had to make a decision, and quick. so you bought your ticket at the kiosk, and headed for home. every notification on your rotom made you check, hoping it was Raihan. it wasn't. whatever. you waited for a text from him the whole ride home, even opening your messages with him a couple times to say something. you chickened out every time, at a loss for words.

the sun was setting by the time you got off the train, making your way towards your home by the Slumbering Weald. you hoped Hop wasn't home. you didn't need him questioning why you were home this early when you walked by his house.

people bid you hello as you passed through Wedgehurst, most knowing you because of your career. you only gave a curt nod as you all but rushed home, wanting to just be done with the day. tears welled up again because you just kept thinking about the fact you quit. you wouldn't be around Raihan anymore. he was an asshole but you really did enjoy his company.

nobody was out when you passed by Hop and Leon's house, luckily. you weren't in the mood for questions. the small pokemon living in your garden out front chirped as you walked by, but you didn't acknowledge them. as you unlocked the front door, your rotom chimed. you ignored it, locking your door behind you. flicking lights on as you went, you made your way to your room. you made quick work of getting changed into pajamas, throwing yourself onto your bed in defeat.

your rotom chimed again. and popped up to hover over your face.

this time, it was Raihan.

dragon boy: i'm sorry 5 min dragon boy: i'm coming over 1 min

you scoffed.

you: doors locked. now

you shooed your rotom away. Raihan wouldn't walk his happy ass all the way here. he has no reason.

today had gone less than ideal. you'd start searching for more work tomorrow. if you recalled correctly, Leon was in need of a trainer. you sighed and rubbed your face, acknowledging the fact you needed to shower, and that you shouldn't have put on your jammies yet. as you got up to go shower, someone knocked at the door.

"there's no fuckin' way…" you muttered, trudging towards your door with cinched brows.

lo and behold, when you opened it, there was Raihan… looking uncharacteristically guilty. you scowled, and tried to shut the door. Raihan shoved his foot in the way, forcing you to open it again.

"look, i'm sorry. i really am." he sighed, rubbing his neck in shame.

you cocked a brow. you sighed, shook your head, and stepped back in invitation. he followed, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets as you shut the door.

"it's pointless apologizing, i see your rotom isn't out. you'll get no fame for this." you snark, bumping past him to sit on the couch.

you give him your best upset expression, crossing your arms with a frown. you've never seen Raihan look so sincerely guilty. he stands in the middle of your living room, looking around as if he's never been here before. he looked nervous, very unlike him. and, he had no companion. usually flygon was always at his side, just as your luxray always was. then again, your own luxray was in her ball.

you nod towards the empty cushion next to you, "don't stand there and make a bigger fool of yourself than you already have."

Raihan sits like he was told, looking everywhere but you.

"why are you he-" "please don't qu-"

you both stop talking. you nod, letting him speak first. he sighs, fixing that ridiculous headband he always wears.

"please don't quit, everything is already in shambles without you. i didn't realize how badly i needed a trainer." he says, finally meeting your eyes.

you scoff, "i'm tired of your shit Raihan. i can't stand getting treated like shit every day because you want to keep up your bad boy persona. i love you but not enough to be pushed around like that, i'm sorry."

his eyes light up. "you love me?"

your mouth snaps shut and your cheeks flush. you had admitted what he didn't need to know. you lean back, stuttering over a bullshit lie but he leans in and follows you, snaking a hand behind your head and one on your cheek. you're shut up when his lips land on yours, your eyes fluttering shut when you eagerly kiss back. you cave in for a moment, enjoying the movement. but then you pull back, angry.

"if you think you can try and use my affection for you against me-" you snarl, pointing a accusatory finger at him before he cuts you off.

"i love you too. i came to tell you that but got nervous and made it seem like i was coming to apologize and beg you to come back."

this time, you pull him in. fisting your hands into the collar of his hoodie, you yank him back to you and kiss him with as much vigor as he had. he cups your face, and you could feel him smile into the kiss. smug bastard. you let yourself indulge for a moment more before pulling back. Raihan nearly whines.

"listen, i love you, but i'm exhausted and need to shower before i can be smoochy smoochy because i will be very upset if i go to bed without showering." you explain, holding his face in your hands.

he smiles, turning to kiss one of your palms, "i'll be waiting when you get done."

you gave him a final quick, sweet peck before getting up and making for your bathroom, cheeks flaming and mind giddy. you left the door to your bedroom open, stripping before getting in the shower. the water heat up quickly, but you were washing before then. you wanted to be out, as soon as possible.

when you got out, wrapped in nothing but a towel, you spot a familiar mass of clothing on your bed. Raihan's hoodie?

you don't question it, putting it on an immediately drowning in the scent that was just so him. you nuzzled into it, stupid lovesick smile plastered on your face. you can't believe all it took was you quitting for this to happen.

finding your warmest pajama pants possible, you scrubbed your hair dry before almost running back to your living room. there Raihan was, in a black tanktop and his signature shorts.

"hey, dollface." he purred, and you scowled.

"don't call me that. you use that mockingly all the time." you say, flopping onto the couch and into his side.

you lean on him in silence, but it doesn't last long.

"so… do you still quit?" he finally asks.

you sigh. "no. i'll be at the gym, same time tomorrow."

[thessalian]

Thess vs Overtime, Day 2

I would be making a lot more headway if my colleagues did a bit more fucking work, y'know.

Temp is just milking Scruffman's absence for all it's worth. She's ignoring longer dictations and anything dictated by people she finds even remotely difficult, or who are known to do more complicated cases, or both (usually both). And I don't know whether it was her or Goblin who dumped a half-dozen reports from two days ago back into the fucking queue for me to deal with, but somebody did and I want their heads.

Neither of them touched today's urgent cases, either.

I mean, I think work is getting done? I've seen the number of dictations in the queue go down further than I can account for, anyway. But because they seem to be taking a snippet here and a snippet there, we've still got cases from as far back as yesterday lunch time now, as in an hour and a half after official close of play. And the only reason it's that good is because I put in an hour's overtime. We're now down to about 220 bits of dictation in the queue ... but it's Thursday. Even if I buckle down tomorrow and at least get us to less than 24 hours behind ... there's the weekend, and Monday. And Scruffman's still away for another week. If they do next week what they did this week, it's going to be back to the same level of ugly when I come back on Tuesday.

I shouldn't be doing this. I'm doing it for two reasons:

unlike most of my colleagues, I do actually remember that there's a patient at the other end of these reports, and either they should be able to have reassurance as soon as possible or (more importantly) they need to start treatment as soon as possible if the news is bad; and

because of the absolute mess our transcription software is in right now, it is nearly impossible to tell who is or isn't doing the work. I'm not getting blamed for their bullshit.

I swear, if Scruffman doesn't have a few very pointed words with my colleagues when he gets back from annual leave, I'm going to have an aneurysm. As it is, I'm exhausted and in no small amount of pain, and intensely grateful to Past Me for making lots of risotto and even more potato soup, and for picking up some bread I can eat yesterday. I think potato soup and salami sandwich is about all I can manage just now. Because no, I didn't have time to eat lunch again today either; I did manage to stuff a few cookies into my face but that and about three gargantuan cups of coffee was about all I managed.

Well, at least I have about a week to figure out how to word my email to Scruffman. You know, the most polite and professional way possible of saying, "I nearly killed myself doing extra because those lazy mares in the office can't be arsed to do anything when you're not watching them and something needs to be done because you can't just not go on leave". For now, though ... just ow.

[ellies-cycling-notes]

Day 8: Baltimore to Vienna, VA

Distance Covered: 50.00 miles

Total Time (including rests): 5:07 (10:13am-3:20pm)

Time spent riding: 4:25

Average Speed: 11.3 mph

Apples Eaten: 2 (fuji - 7.5/10, fuji - 8/10)

Today's ride was a special one. I started by being driven 15 miles out of Baltimore, and then started my ride there. This was because I didn't want a repeat of how horrible yesterday's ride felt, and once you get out of Baltimore, the rest of the ride is much less hilly. Part of me feels like I cheated, but I don't regret it.

After that, the ride became the best ride I've had so far this trip. At least 75% of the ride was on various bike trails, mostly paved ones, and even when I wasn't on bike trails, the ride never got too tiring. The bike trails were mostly rail trails, which meant they were especially flat, which was a bonus.

I only stopped once on the ride, by the National Mall in DC, where I had a quick snack. I almost considered not stopping at all, due to how the ride was feeling, but I didn't want to feel terrible at the end of the ride.

Small Notes on the Ride

Abbreviated Lane - How do you abbreviate "Lane" when it comes to a road name? It's obvious that "Street" is abbreviated as "St" and "Drive" as "Dr", etc. but "Lane" is a weird one. I've always thought that it was abbreviated "Ln", and that seems to be corrected, for I saw street signs with it written that way, but I've also seen various signs on today's ride that had "Lane" abbreviated as "La". So which is it? Does it really matter? Also, I learned today that "Ct" is an abbreviation for "Court" in street names - that makes sense.

The Problem with Pictures and Bike Trails - Something that really sucks is that I never have any pics of the most beautiful parts of my rides. This is because those parts are also usually the bike trails, and are parts where I'm able to ride most smoothly, so I really don't want to stop.

Giving Up?

An update to yesterday's post, here goes. Today's ride went really well, and I no longer really feel like giving up on the trip. I'm going to be getting some repair work done on my bike tomorrow, even though I encountered no problems today - I just want to be safe. Here's to hoping my spirits stay high!

Design Notes

Some new design ideas today!

Roadtrip Games

What are roadtrip games? They are games that can easily be played in the back of a car while on a roadtrip, as a way to keep people occupied. They have no components, and are often group word games. They're really just a way for you to occupy time. Within these games, there's a subcategory of games I like most, which is the games that only work on a roadtrip. For example, the Alphabet game where you have to find every letter of the alphabet in order on billboards and such is one such game.

Similarly, there's a roadtrip counting game I've played before when I'm bicycling. It works best when on a road with a good number of bicyclists, but not too many. It's called the Helmet game, and here's how it works:

Start your count at 0.

Whenever you pass by a bicyclist who's wearing a helmet, increase the count by 1.

Whenever you pass by a bicyclist who's not wearing a helmet, decrease the count by 1.

If the bicyclist you passed by is riding a citibike, divvy, or some other ride-share style bike and is not wearing a helmet, only decrease the score by 0.5 instead.

After you're done with your ride, see what your count is, to evaluate how safe the bicyclists on your route were being.

Time loop: a board(?) Game

This is an idea for a game that takes inspiration from Groundhog Day and other time loop media. It's a cooperative board game, where players work together across the board as various hazards and dangers show up - eventually the hazards overwhelm the players, and the game is reset back to the way it was at the start, but then it starts again, in the same manner as before. However, players may take different actions on their second time around, and with their knowledge of how things will play out, they'll probably be able to get further before getting overwhelmed.

As I thought through this game on the ride, I realized that this game might need to be a game with App Assistance - that is to say that there's a downloadable app that you need to use when playing the game, as it would be able to track whatever details repeat from cycle to cycle.

As I was thinking about this game, I also thought about how the game might have some "butterfly effect" mechanism, where depending on how you take actions differently from round to round, things might change greatly further down the line. Of course, depending on how far you survived on a previous cycle, it might be difficult to tell if something is the same as it would have played out if you had just survived further.

Communication in this game - I think players should maybe be able to freely communicate to help each other out in this game, but with one limitation: note-taking. I was thinking of having a specific rule about how you take notes and how many notes you can take, so you have to try your best to remember things such as "the enemy appears is zone 5 starting on turn 3" for when the next cycle begins.

Theming - I think this game would likely be sci-fi themed. In my mind's eye, I'm currently thinking of something like Alien or Among Us, where players are just running a spaceship and things keep going wrong and have to be fixed.

Time-fuckery: So far, I've covered what I think this game will have if it follows typical time looping rules/ideas. However, I could expand on it: for example, what if each player can carry up to 1 item, and when the time reversal happens, they keep whatever item they're holding? And then, what happens when they go to the location where that item was supposed to be - what kinda time shenanigans might happen then? There's also the butterfly effect thing I mentioned earlier. I also had an idea for certain enemies/hazards going beyond the boundaries of time, but I don't know yet how that work.

Legacy game? - There's the possibility that this game might be able to be played like a legacy game, where each session you play a certain number of time loops. That would only work, though, if the game is long enough and meaningfully changes from loop to loop.

Part of me thinks the game might just be better as a video game, but I really want to try to see how much of this could be completed with only a board.

This is all for today! Tomorrow's another rest day, then I'm headed off on a several camping-day-straight ride to Pittsburgh! Here's to hoping that goes well.

Previous -- Today's Pics -- Next

[mahalshairyballs]

I got iiiiit 😭

He was soooo nice omg. He took his time to talk to us, we were able to say more than one sentence to him, I could actually have said more >_< I was so focused on keeping it brief. I only had two short sentences rehearsed to say.

The volunteers at the table before him were like 'no you can't get two things signed' but I realized afterwards that I *could* have had my friend's art signed. Since when I showed him the other comic issue (the one I wanted to give him, not get signed) he asked me 'do you want me to sign this one too?'

Uuuuuugh I should have given him my friend's artwork to sign too, he would've >_<

At least I showed him, and I said it was done by my friend @luxshine living in Mexico city

And he said 'oh are you Mexican too?'

I said 'no I'm french' (ah the stress, I didn't even say French-Canadian 😅)

But it gave me the opportunity to follow with 'btw your french was good, well that one line' (I wanted to say that at the Q&A, one less thing to say then!)

Ah

And then I gave him the Black White & Blood issue #3, the one with Jake&Marc teaming up.

I should have said 'if you're interested' and told him what the story I wanted him to look at was about >_<

I'm always disappointed by something the moment I finish with an autograph/photoop

'Well I should've said this I should've done that'

He was so sweet 😭🥰 I can't

He had no beard today with short grey hair 😍

Overall I think it was pretty good, I just didn't sound very natural, could've said more, he didn't see my Khonshu bracelet and I could've gotten @luxshine 's art signed, but I guess I respected the rules?

I was so concentrated on what I had to say and how brief I needed to be that I didn't take the time to fully appreciate his face 😞🥰

And I gave him a comic wooh 🥰 I'll never know if he'll ever read it but it's okay

I felt fine the whole time I saw him and spoke to him but the moment I left his booth I started crying 😩😭 no idea why post-strastruck emotions

My day is done! Time to mentally prepare for the Q&A and the photoop tomorrow

Oh I was so lucky I went directly to the autograph place at 1 pm to ask when exactly it would be *because they changed the hours again* he was supposed to do photoops at 1pm! But now it was the autographs? So the line had already started?

Omg imagine if I only went at 3 pm like they said in the email ===____====

So I was early-ish in the line wooh!

[harrowharkwife]

anyone else getting such a sixth-sense, hair-on-the-back-of-your-neck feeling from these past episodes, that just seems to get louder with each passing week?

it's like the writers *know* they're playing chicken with us at this point- it's not a fourth wall break, but something close to it. a quiet tapping on the glass, a "hey, pay attention, viewers, i'm talking to you," telegraphing a very quiet, but very clear message: hang on. hang in there. you're not crazy, there is something here, it's coming, we're going to do it. but we're going to do it right. and that takes time.

-

taylor moved out eddie joined the show, what, four months seasons ago, buck? you could have replaced the couch gotten them together by now.

-

you the audience can't keep playing these guessing games, maddie writers. if you can't figure out what he wants, maybe you should tell him us what you want what's gonna happen. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

the rules are very simple. one hand must be touching a car at all times. it's a game of endurance, patience. no exceptions. last one standing watching drives home in this beauty gets the prize they've been waiting for. let the games begin!

-

our lunch date was 2 o clock, wasn't it? yep. i figured you forgot, but after you canceled the last few times, decided that I would force the issue.

-

i don't know. maybe i just don't have the patience for these movies ships anymore, you know? two people meet, you know that they're gonna end up together. and then you have to watch 'em bumble their way through stupid misunderstandings for two hours seasons. i don't know. it's kind of annoying. so you'd rather your rom-coms have less "com?" i don't know. i guess i would rather see two people overcome real problems and... still get their happy ending. that would be more satisfying. yeah, it would be. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

i don't understand. isn't this what you've been wanting? what the two of you been working towards? it is, it just feels like i'm waiting for... something. you didn't skip the morning after conversation, chim. you just delayed it. and you added a whole new complicated layer. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

we were playing hide-and-seek and he just disappeared. what, do you think maybe he's still hiding? i don't know. it's been a really long time. and i've looked everywhere.

-

we're past apologies. this is a promise. i'm not going anywhere. i'm done running.

-

but when you are, you'll know. and then you'll be ready.

-

hey, karen. it looks like i'll be home a little bit late.

-

it was significant, and we want to give the brain story time to heal develop on its own. how long will he be sedated? at least 24 hours. run more tests, then see where we are tomorrow. i have no doubt, but we don't know how he the general audience will or will not respond to the treatment this storyline. we have to be prepared. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

you knew. didn't you? i suspected. i didn't know for sure until she called 911.

-

today you learned how the element of surprise can refocus a caller's viewer's attention. [a song] was playing on his radio, and by hearing me sing it... it got him to pay attention. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

never enough time. until one day work stops, and everything finally comes into focus. you're not sure what you're looking at. what was the point of... any of it?

-

that's 'cause you were searching for something. what are you looking for now? that's what i'm gonna find out.

-

you guys are really doing it all, huh? marriage, house, and... and kids real, actual, canon buddie? kind of. we've sort of hit a snag on that last part ... nothing seems to get the job done. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

he the writers room has been lying right to my face. in his defense, science club sperm donor plot does sound kind of boring. joining was his idea. probably knew it would make a great cover. smart kid. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

half the thrill sometimes is doing something and thinking you're getting away with it. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

buck! where the hell you this storyline going? pull over! now!

-

you woke up behind the wheel with someone poking at you for gay rep, you panicked, hit the gas, and here we are.

-

i had to fight every instinct within me not to shove him their relationship in the car and make a beeline to the airport send it out into the world.

-

maybe you're the writers are overcorrecting because... because i didn't protect you the story enough. you had to grow up a lot faster than you should have. but that doesn't mean you can keep christopher a kid this story under wraps forever. you can't stop the biological clock from ticking. there a snooze button i can hit? you know, children viewers, they don't just pick up on the things we say and do. they also pick up on the things we don't. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

look, i just wanted to come by and apologize for the other night. we pretty much blindsided you, and i really feel terrible about that. that wasn't the right way to ask show you.

-

doing nothing is giving me more anxiety than trying to do everything.

-

when you're trying and you want it, and it's just not happening, it's devastating.

-

how badly do you want to be a really good doctor to make canon buddie happen? enough that i will put myself and my family through another 12 months of hell if i have to repeat this year. but i'm really hoping i don't have to.

-

i've been giving this a lot of thought. uh, thinking about, you know, wh-where i am in my life where we are in this story and what i want, and... and how this would fit in with that. uh, and honestly, i... haven't figured any of that out. i have no idea what i want. but it is clear to me... that you the audience know what you want. and one thing i do know is-is that i want to help you have that. are you... are you saying what i think you're saying? i'm saying yes. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

no, it wouldn't be enough. we need something stronger. well, you know what? this is a DIY family, so let's DIY it. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

all right, you've got 20 minutes to convince me this was a good idea.

-

han, what did you do? what needed to be done. set me buddie up on a date without even talking to me the audience about it? well, when you put it like that... that's psychopathic. listen. hen, you need to move on from eva move this plot along. you weren't gonna do anything yourself, so i just gave you a little... nudge.

-

turning in those papers the script... makes it real. well, the longer you put this off, the more you're gonna torture yourself. go talk to bobby. then we can move on to the next chapter. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

our drivers writers must be testing out programming for our vehicles. they're the ones who figure out the right sequence of maneuvers to get the robot the show, the characters, the audience to do what we want it to. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

the robot will be able to take water and soil samples audience reactions. then run tests to detect the presence of the elements needed to support life.

-

i've been working on this project for five years now. i'm telling you we cannot do that. all i'm saying is this is our future, and we're gonna get left behind if we don't do something big. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

alvin: well, maybe we should change the purpose of our mission. karen: guys, guys, we gotta lower our voices.

-

life as you know it is about to change.

-

when do you send it into space the world? not for a few more years episodes. we have to make sure every little thing about it is in perfect shape, and then we have to figure out the best way for it to complete its mission. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

you are not a firefighter anymore a writer and you're too close to the situation. i love you. now let us do our jobs. bring her buddie back to me, cap writers. guaranteed.

-

hey. i'm sorry i was late. the traffic was, you know, traffic. i was starting to think i really did get stood up this time.

-

she was afraid you might do something fool-headed and try to force your way inside that building half-ass that storyline. bobby wouldn't let me. how long have they been inside? 20 minutes. feels like forever. it'll be soon.

-

the room is a bomb and the door is the fuse.

-

when i felt like i'd lost you forever. and it scared me. to think of you being gone. never having a chance to fix things or try again.

-

i thought i'd lost you. nope. still here.

-

waiting is mind-numbing.

-

i thought it would never arrive. came a long way.

-

maybe the good luck charm's already working its magic. maybe!

-

you teased an unboxing canon buddie the other day. oh, no, no, no. i look horrible we're not ready yet. besides, i can't wait. we'll, um... we'll re-pack it get less obvious about it for now and do it tomorrow in full glam in a big poetic dramatic storyline.

-

we're gonna have to cut it apart, piece by piece.

-

so, you're really doing it? i'm really doing it. and-and i figure, if i am, i... i should do it right. you know, set them buddie up with the best chance for success. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

listen, it's a run of bad luck, but it turns around tomorrow.

-

(said in a manner clearly criticizing the 'grifters') the best grifters queerbaiters know how to play on people's the audience's desperation.

-

can we please do something about this before something else happens?

-

i know we asked a really big favor canon buddie of you. probably too big. and it's-it's okay if you're having doubts. no, guys... you understand, if you changed your mind, we understand. we just can't really handle the not knowing what's going on because, you know, we keep imagining the worst. and after everything we've already been through as gay fans, honestly, it really means a lot... guys, hey, hey, stop. listen to me. i haven't changed my mind. okay? i w-i want to do this for you. i promise. (‼️‼️‼️)

-

how long have you known? more importantly, how long you been holding out on us? oh, looks like we're here.

-

on the site, there's a little box, "terms and conditions." she checked "i accept." she should have known this would happen. y'all signed up for this!

-

you'd think that he'd the writers'd welcome the publicity. well, with publicity comes scrutiny from people like me straight audience.

-

at this point, he's all in. time for one last desperate attempt. (‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️)

-

do you need a minute? no, i don't-i don't need a minute, i just, uh... sorry, i just, i-i would really rather do this now, like, with, like... right now.

-

i mean, the longer we stayed away from the water from making them happen, the more the fear would grow.

which brings us to:

so, what'd she have to say about my future?

🤡

[euphoricmind]

Journal Entry #1.

May 6, 2023.

Today, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and I'm having some realizations. It's been about 4 years since I broke up with my ex, but why does it suddenly feel like it's just fresh all over again? People would laugh at me for this but honestly this is how I currently feel.

This is so weird and crazy and anyone who would find out about this—especially him that I'm having relapses and reminiscing our relationship in the past, he would probably get SO weirded out (as if he doesn't think I'm crazy enough lol).

I'm going to try my best to explain what I feel as easy as possible because my thoughts and feelings are literally all over the place right now or maybe this is just because of the zodiac thing about eclipse? or maybe because I'm almost having my period which is supposedly tomorrow. I don't know. Tears started going down by the way as I am typing this right at this moment.

I feel like it's because I'm longing for a relationship right now that I just want to be loved and held and protected but at the same time I show everyone that I am independent, that I can take care of myself. I so got used to being on my own, even before I met my ex, with all the family issues I had, being the panganay, I was built to be strong enough to be alone because no one else would carry the baggage I have in me but myself.

Not that I don't have my family's support, especially my sister who's been my rock and armour, but being alone just gives me peace and that's something I need to work on but God forbid, I don't know how to break my walls down. Hell, I can't even let new people in immediately even just as friends.

I miss him. I miss everything about him but maybe not? Maybe I am mistaking this as him, as a person.. but what I miss is definitely the feeling of being loved romantically. Being seen as a woman, as a woman a man would do anything for. Being seen as their partner, someone that I can be myself with, could be my escape from all the misery I got. It's getting bad again.

I thought I was good alone, well yes I am. But I need that someone, I want someone. But can I take it? Can I handle being hurt again? Because the last time I had a boyfriend, I didn't take the break up in a good way. I was so broken, I almost wasted my life for a boy who didn't want me anymore. I'm so scared to go back to that shithole, but I know right now, I already know better.

But do I, really? I'll never know unless I get into another one, for real this time.

When I saw our pictures and videos together after years of ignoring it, it got me thinking, "I already had all the things I wished for, I had it with him. I wasted it" that was what I thought regardless of the fact that he cheated on me. I became a junkee after our break up but man, that was on me. I'm done with that though, never going back.

But hey, he was the only guy who made me feel like I was worthy of being loved. He was so obsessed with me throughout our relationship and I realized that we weren't on the same level of effort. At least that's what he thought. But all along, that time I thought I was giving in the best I could but now? Now that I know better, I realized that ah fuck, that wasn't my best yet. I was so unfair to him, maybe that's why he left and cheated? But I was a kid back then, I was older than him but I was no less of a kid still trying to learn 😞

He gave me his world, he made me his world and that's where it went downhill when he realized that, I was the red flag that time. We never fought about any girls during our relationship, siya pa yung may pinagseselosan, ako wala. He would go lengths just to see me, would angkas going to Antipolo just to see me after my class. And I never did anything to reciprocate that.

I just realized it now. Women could also be the ones in the wrong in a relationship. I, myself is a perfect example for that.

Just like my mother, who wasted my father's love. I am just like her. And I will forever hate myself for that.

How can I move on from this? Have I really moved on from my first relationship? But it's been 4 years? That's so pathetic but is it really possible?

If yes, then I am the epitome of a hung up ex who's getting her batshit karma for traumatizing a guy who was just trying to love me.

That it came to a point wherein I made him feel that he never did anything right for me when in fact, he was the fucking backbone of the relationship. Helped me through my school by inspiring me, sending me food, gifts and everything. I coped with the fact that my family fell apart that time because HE WAS THERE. I will forever be grateful for that and God....

God... how I wish I could tell him that because being with me was his huge mistake, I made him terrible, even his family hates me, I just know. When he was on drugs, when he kept on pawning his grandmother's jewelries, I was his girlfriend that time and he used all the money FOR ME. I am so ashamed.

To my first love, the only person who tried to get to know me in depths, the only person who loved me for me, J.I.S., I am so sorry for everything.

And to myself, I hope soon enough, I can forgive myself too for fucking things up and hurting someone who tried to love me the best possible way he can.

[dawnthefluffyduck]

IT'S DONE

THE DUCKS

Critique is tomorrow but I got this thing done at like, 3AM today and everything's all dry now and I'm so happy to finally be making this post so I'm putting it up earlier than I normally do 😭😭

Assignment details below but warning, it's like an adventure log cause holy crap I have so much to say about this

The assignment was to make a structure that:

Had a mechanical function (minimum two)

Included at least one found object (i.e., something that was not provided by the instructor)

Included at least one carved element

...so there was a lot going on for this. I've never carved before, hence why I panick made those ducks a few weeks ago. They were a failsafe, juuuust in case I couldn't figure out the whole "carve a bird" thing in time. Luckily they weren't needed, though if I wasn't in such a hurry I might not have gotten this weird looking cut on my finger that likely won't fully heal :') (battle scars, so it's okay)

They really did take a long time to carve though. For frame of reference, it took about:

~6 hours of listening to people play Phasmophobia for ducky #1

Another 5-6 of listening to Majora's Mask gameplay for ducky #2

About 3-4 hours of various My House videos for the smallest ducky #3 (thanks again for the recommendation 🙏 I was running out of things to fill the silence to)

I'm glad I started them as early as I could, especially with the breaks needed to let my fingers heal because I'm bad w/ knives.

I speed learned how use a sewing machine (thanks mom for letting me borrow it); I didn't have to make the outfits but they're cute so I don't regret it lol. I put elastic or snaps on all of them so they're all removable... maybe I'll make more outfits for them in the future?

I counted my found object as some plexiglass I picked up somewhere, and it turns out, it's not really hard to cut it. Apparently it's not hard to cut real glass either but I wasn't allowed to use it 'cause it's easier to break. I kinda like the window, I wasn't sure about how it'd look at first but I really think it makes it look more polished :D

The red handle was a last minute addition. I quite literally used a spare piece of wood at 1AM this morning and speed carved+painted it. Since it didn't have any major grooves like the ducks, I could saw it down close to the size it needed to be and then carve/sand off the edges to round it off, so I got it done in about an hour and a half. I'm glad I did because I accidently painted the frame a little took dark and needed something to help tie it in a little better. It's still dark, but it sticks out slightly less now??? I hope haha.

I had a lot less trouble using the power tools on campus this time around. That's not saying much because I never really had much trouble in the first place but still, they're nowhere nearly as intimidating as they look.

All in all it was a lot of fun, and I can't wait 'til it's graded cause I'm really excited to bring it home for good :D

[fizzingwizard]

Taichi Yagami Week Day 3 Prompt: Mentor

(Unedited... didn't have time today. Also this is the last ficlet I have prepped sooo we'll see if I can stay awake tomorrow to write a couple more xP)

Mentor: (noun) a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

Taichi is ten years old, and giddy with excitement as he watches the soccer ball sail down the field. It rolls right up to him, like some sort of sign, and without even thinking his leg swings out and his feet pound over the grass.

He keeps going until he’s well in the opponent’s territory. Defense starts to close in. The window of opportunity narrows, he’s about to trip, he has to shoot now -

“Taichi! Over here!”

Again, he acts without thinking. The ball spikes upward, and the side of his foot hits it with just enough power to send it flying to the left.

Sora leaps off the ground and heads it straight into the net.

There’s a smattering of cheers. Flat on his back, the clouds spiraling above, Taichi struggles to catch his breath. His jersey is smeared with dirt. Sora runs up to him and holds out a hand.

“Good work, Taichi.”

“You too,” he says as she helps him to his feet. “That shot was amazing.”

She grins ear to ear. She’s buzzing with the thrill just like him. That was the first time she scored a goal, he realizes. No wonder her smile is so big.

They make their way to join the rest of the team. Coach waves them in, stooping to look them in the eyes.

“You guys did great,” he says, and someone lets out a whoop. “I mean it. Great play, Yagami.”

Taichi’s chest swells with pride.

“You should all watch Yagami. That’s what it takes to win: nothing less than everything you’ve got.” Coach ruffles hs hair. “Now,” he says, “let’s talk about the next match…”

It’s not until much later, when he’s home, washed, and fed, that Taichi remembers Coach never praised Sora.

In fact, Coach never has too many words for Sora. He’s always yelling at Taichi for some reason or other. Sora’s not a troublemaker, so Coach doesn’t need to call her out. But he could at least tell her good job for scoring her first goal.

He must have forgotten. He’ll say something at the next practice for sure.

But he doesn’t. Not at the next practice, or the one after it. Or at the next game. Not the next time Sora scores a goal all by herself. Not even when they leave the team for middle school.

At some point, Taichi thinks, someone should have asked him about it. But by the time it occurred to him to say something, it always felt like the moment had passed. Coach must have his reasons - he’s said in passing that he’s nervous about having girls on the same team with boys. Afraid they’ll get themselves hurt. Coach knows everything about soccer. Of course, he must know Sora’s a great player, but maybe he’s afraid praising her in front of the group will make her a target for the rambunctious boys. It must be something like that.

Sora doesn’t join the soccer team in middle school. She can’t, really: there isn’t a girls’ team and the boys’ team has never had a female member. Taichi suggests she could be the team manager, unprepared for the withering glare this earns him.

“I don’t want to manage,” she says in an unusual bout of stubbornness. “I want to play. I want to chase the ball as fast as I can and feel the wind in my hair.”

He understands, really he does. After all, that’s what he likes best about soccer too. But there’s nothing to be done. It can’t be helped that she’s a girl.

“It’s probably for the best.” He tries to sound reassuring. “I mean, it’ll be hard for you to play soon anyway.”

She glances up. “What do you mean?”

“Well, like, you’ll get breasts, right? And I bet those make it hard to run fast.”

She wants to slap him.

She doesn’t, but he can tell she wants to.

His cheek stings the rest of the day: the phantom of best intentions.

—

Taichi is eleven years old and a weird mustachioed dude who looks positively ancient won’t stop bothering him.

“Does he have to shake me around like that?” he complains as they settle into their futons in the underwater sanctuary. Fish swim by the window, their eyes as wide as hubcaps.

“Come on,” Jou scoffs. “Gennai’s so old, how strong can he be?”

“Tell that to my headache.”

“Maybe if you didn’t mouth off all the time,” Yamato chimes in, sweet as candy, as usual. Taichi doesn’t know what it is but this kid just flat out doesn’t like him. Now and then it seems they’ve reached a turning point - but before long they wind up turning right back around.

Their little group is odd and mismatched. In their normal lives there wouldn’t be much reason for them to be around each other. Maybe that’s why they butt heads so often. Taichi wants one thing, Yamato wants another. Koushirou wants something different but doesn’t know how to ask. Jou wants everyone to listen to him; Mimi wants to do her own thing. Sora just wishes everyone could get along for a full five minutes.

But lately it feels as though they’ve begun to come together, like a patchwork quilt. Taichi can’t take credit for the simile - Takeru came up with it. Apparently he likes to read. For a little kid, he’s full of surprises. (Taichi doesn’t even know what a patchwork quilt looks like.) They have a goal now: to find the eighth child. It’s the first time any of this “adventure” has felt intentional, like there’s rhyme and reason to everything that happens, instead of the pure chaos of school kids trying not to set themselves on fire.

Yamato will probably always be a pest, Taichi muses, but fortunately he, Taichi, is not the type to let that get on his nerves. He spreads out on top of the blanket and goes to sleep.

Some hours later, he has to pee, and wanders alone into the hall.

Voices murmur from a distance. The mystery is too alluring; he follows them (he doesn’t need to pee that bad). When he comes close to a high, carved doorway, the voices sharpen and he recognizes those inside as Koushirou and their strange guide, Gennai.

“So all Digimon fall into one of the same three categories - Vaccine, Data, and Virus?”

“Exactly right,” says the crackly old voice, and Gennai begins a complicated lecture that Taichi can’t make heads or tails of, but which is probably crystal clear to that brainiac Koushirou. (He thinks this without a shred of resentment: Koushirou works incredibly hard and deserves every bit of praise.)

Even though he doesn’t understand, Taichi lingers in the hall, eavesdropping, until it occurs to him that eavesdropping isn’t a habit which most people encourage. If he’s caught, there might be trouble. So he slinks into the shadows a bit when the door opens and waits until Koushirou bids Gennai good-night and heads back to the guest room. Then Taichi makes a show of yawning as he shuffles into the light spilling from the doorway.

“Ah, hi Gennai. I got lost looking for the bathroom, heh heh.”

Gennai raises one bushy gray eyebrow. “Lost, that’s a good word for what you are.” He cackles some more. “Lost like all of us. The question is, will you be able to find your way out?”

Taichi blinks. “... Uh. I think I can? If I keep going until I see the fish through the glass walls, that will take me back to the guest room.”

Gennai nods. He nearly always keeps his hands clasped behind his back. It makes it seem as if he’s holding some surprise out of sight. “Good. And, if you find your way back, will you also be able to lead the way for others?”

Why would the others need him to lead the way? They were all better at remembering this sort of stuff. Sora and Yamato both paid attention to directions, and no one could work out a maze like Koushirou. So Taichi gives a shrug. “Sure, why not,” he says.

“Are you certain?” Gennai leans in. His closest eye becomes as big as the fish eye in the window. The glow from the doorway gives his bald head a comical gleam. “It’s not the sort of thing you can promise and then ignore, my friend. You don’t have to promise, either. You could say no and that would be just fine.”

This feels like a trap somehow. Taichi squints down his nose. “... What happens if I do say no?”

“Well, they’ll stay lost,” answers Gennai, with unusual frankness.

“What! You said they would be fine!”

“I said it would be fine not to make a promise,” Gennai corrects him. “More fine than to promise and then not persist.”

Taichi groans. “I never know what you’re talking about.” Useless old geezer.

“That’s fine too. You don’t need to know as long as you understand.”

“That makes even less sense.” Taichi pivots on his heel, intent now on finding the bathroom before his bladder bursts. “You should go to bed. Maybe after a few hours’ sleep, you’ll sound less like Yoda.”

“Ah, Yo-yo Ma,” Gennai sighs. “I’m a big fan.”

Shaking his head, Taichi leaves him standing in the light.

—

“Dream big.”

What kind of advice is that?

Take your own advice, you blowhard. How could you make me leave you behind. How could you leave me like this - to wonder forever if there’s something I could have done to save you if I were just a little smarter or faster or less clumsy.

“Dream big.” Like you?

Was it your dream to work for this organization that treats Digimon like science experiments? To watch me and my friends scramble around trying to prevent the Reboot and do nothing to help? Was it your dream to get used by your only friend? Total powerlessness - yeah, that’s dreaming big, alright.

I hate you.

Taichi can’t make himself leave the pod. It’s such a tight fit that he should be full-on claustrophobic by now, but he can’t bring himself to care. Maybe he’ll stay inside it until the world explodes, nice and cozy.

Taichi is seventeen and right this moment has more dark thoughts filling his head than the rest of the world combined. Thoughts of death, and the death of dreams. There was blood on the floor, he’s sure of it now, although in that control room he’d managed to block it out for the most part. Action was important; thinking could come later.

Now he’s left with nothing to do but think.

Nishijima-sensei is dead.

And, despite the accusations Taichi hurls at his ghost one after another, he knows they’re lies. Because, in the end, Nishijima-sensei couldn’t play the passive observer anymore, and that’s what killed him.

There’s no good reason for it, but from the start Taichi found himself looking up to Nishijima-sensei as a mentor of sorts. Maybe it was because he knew him first as a teacher at school - but Taichi has never been the type to look for role models among his teachers just because they were close in proximity. Something about Nishijima-sensei struck a chord with him, however. It made no sense - Nishijima-sensei only ever acted like Himekawa-san’s lackey. Only ever seemed disinterested in Taichi and his friends’ successes and failures. But even now, after all he’s learned, Taichi can’t help but feel like Nishijima-sensei was a kindred spirit. Someone who understood what propelled Taichi to fight on.

“Dream big,” because you can’t afford not to.

It feels like a very long time passes, but in fact Taichi hauls himself out of the pod only ten minutes later, and begins the long trudge back to civilization. Back to Tokyo, back to his friends who are surely fighting desperately under that coal black sky this very minute. Without him.

He stops by a fence. It would be so easy to turn around. Go back to the pod. Let it be his coffin. Put an end to the dreaming.

His feet start to move again.

It would be easy to do nothing. Say nothing. Be nothing.

He crosses the train tracks.

So easy to die.

He might be dying right now - hands are strangling him. One called ‘duty,’ one called ‘debt.’ They claw at his throat, putting a stopper on every breath.

Taichi walks on. A conviction rises.

He’s going to kill Meicoomon.

Not ‘put down,’ not ‘end her misery.’ No pretty-sounding words. He intends to take responsibility for his actions. It’s not ‘the only way’ - it’s just the only way to protect what he wants to protect.

Sensei, from now on, that’s my dream. I promise to protect what I want to protect. Even if it means sacrificing something else. I’m sorry I’m not wise enough to think of a better path. But I can’t stand still. I can’t pretend I didn’t see anything. Besides, if I mess up bad enough, Yamato will definitely punch me for it.

Sensei. I won’t admire anyone anymore. Whatever the consequences, I’ll go down my own path. Whether the others follow me, whether I lose them all, either way, I accept the risk.

Meet me at the other side.

[justaredheadf1fan]

First party hard of the Miami weekend

Masterlist

Hello there!

I don't really know if I'll write that much today since I kinda didn't pay much attention? I got the gist of it tho, but honestly I was doing stuff while watching since listening to the idiotic Spanish commentators from DAZN was giving me nausea. Just disgusting and infuriating.

So, we got more whoring around today, this time it was Sir Lewis Hamilton's turn to leave his mark on our new favorite race weekend (or mine, at least, okay). He didn't have enough serving cunt yesterday, that he needed to add some thirst trap content along the way. These guys will kill me someday, I swear to God.

Other than that, FP3 was more or less normal, if we can call it that, except for a couple things. First, Verstappen's close call, almost hitting the wall dead on. He braked nicely right before crashing.Car failure would've been nice today too, tho. Let's hope for tomorrow. The worst one was Esteban's crash, at the exact same spot where Carlos crashed yesterday. Funny enough, drivers have complained about that turn and surprise, surprise, who listens to drivers' feedback? Oh yeah, not the FIA. I truly hope he's okay to drive tomorrow, poor Este.

But hey, let's complain about a particular driver's piercings, try to force him to take them out under threat of not letting him drive at all if he doesn't take them out and not say anything at all about the rest's jewelry whatsoever (wedding bands, chains, etc.). And all of this after taking 10 whole years to enforce one single rule ✌🏻

Anyway, Quali went on without incident thankfully, unlike yesterday and FP3 today. This track takes too much after Jeddah for my taste, it's not quite as bad buuuut it's still too similar, I think. I don't know. Plus, with all the incidents going on these last 2 days and the track being pretty shitty on its own (they had to re-pave last night some areas in the track), I mean... But so far this is the GP that keeps on giving so who am I to complain? I need to see if Charles whores around tomorrow too and makes my weekend almost perfect 😂

I barely watched Q1 and Q2, I only caught enough to see George and Kevin out in Q1, then Mick and Daniel out in Q2 and, finally, Lewis getting 6th and Demonic Sharl getting pole. That bastard flew like it was piece of cake. That last lap was actually pretty awesome, his so good, it's unbelievable the screech I let out when I saw he got pole 🤪 Now that I see again the picture that comes next, I laugh thinking about the challenge these 2 idiots have done over the week in Miami and the bromance seems funnier to me once more, look at them hahaha

I'll be good tomorrow and write more thoroughly after the race, or at least something better/more detailed. It's 3:12am right now as I'm trying to finish this, after being distracted far too many times by SOA on the background. All in all, not paying attention to anything like the disaster I am 🥲 I'm so tired that I'm not even gonna proofread, so in the words of Negan (probably), excuse the shit out of my goddamn French and try to not take into account any butchery I might have committed here or there, please 🤣

Anyway, laters gators!

[pbandjesse]

I'm kind of struggling tonight. It's not a bad day it was just very hot and uncomfortable. I did just get done with a trail ride with horse camp. And that was fun but it ended when I got a really bad Charlie horse in my leg. But it still was a good day.

I slept much better last night. And set an alarm so I could give James a kiss before they left in their bike ride to Philly. Which went well and they arrived in about 7 hours. Apparently they threw up a few times when they got there but are doing better. I am really proud of them for accomplishing something that they really wanted to do.

I slept for another half hour before I got up and headed to camp. I had my backpack all packed and didn't have to fuss much. I stopped for breakfast. Food was a huge challenge today. Breakfast was fine. But lunch and dinner here were. Not great. Which was very upsetting for me.

But the rest of the day was pretty good overall, despite the heat.

I was nervous about teaching sewing. But it actually went great. We made the teddy bears. The kids did such an excellent job. The councilors helped out tremendously. The only thing that even was kind of an issue was my throat hurt by the end.

The kids were so sweet working on the machine. Only one friend was a little scared but she would still do a stellar job. And I just felt so positive about today. Honestly I hope the rest of this week go so smoothly.

Like I said I would get a little frustrated at lunch with the food but I had my egg sandwich still so I was fine. But I could feel myself being a little snappy. Which didn't feel nice. I don't like feeling that way.

But the afternoon would go well. We did have a storm coming in so I was prepared for that. But it ended up just being some rain and nothing was to scary.

But because a storm was coming in my last group would leave a little early. Ah well. I enjoyed having all my groups today. I even had Charlotte come and hang out with me for a while. She was putting together supplies for the program tonight and I got to be helpful and I love being helpful so it worked out. I felt less like she hated me this week. I don't want her to hate me. I would love if she actively liked me but I can't ask for to much I guess.

I decided to go take a shower before the rain got worse. And I felt a little better after. The humidity really dropped and I was clean.

I hung out behind arts and crafts with Callie and Laura. Callie got me a sprite. And then we went to dinner. Where I got very upset about the food. But I ate some sides at least.

Another councilor was having a hard time so I went to sit with them and talk a little. This summer has been so hard on everyone honestly. I hope that things feel lighter soon.

I walked up the horse camp after dinner and was looking forward to riding a horse. I got to ride Lil Bolt. And he was pretty naughty. Walked me into a bush and would not listen. But I fed him Skittles and I had fun even if it hurt my legs a lot. When I got off the horse I got a wild Charlie horse and was frozen in place for a couple minutes. But we survived. I was just in the horseback a little to long I think. I don't know how people do it for hours.

I got back up here after a little hike to find wine berries. And I've been chilling since then. My legs are real sore. And I think I'm going to make a snack so my medicine doesn't make me feel sick. But I feel alright.

I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day. For all of you as well.

Sleep good everyone. Wash your hands!!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Backlogs and IT Issues

Well, if this is the setting for the next two weeks, I'm in deep shit.

Scruffman, our office manager, is on leave for the next two weeks. I had a feeling that things were going to get a little ... problematic. Goblin has a "when the cat's away, the mice will play" mentality and has a habit of chatting in her usual "I Hate Everything" way whenever she gets the change - read: "when Scruffman isn't at his desk". This monopolises the time and attention of everyone in the office, so less work gets done. That's not even counting the whole thing where Temp will dodge all the longer work - with Violet on long-term medical leave, that still leaves me to do the lion's share of it, because Milady tends to take over Scruffman's duties when she's away and so she's busier than usual for the next two weeks (when not sucked into Goblin's Grumble Vortex)

In addition to this, we had some changes to our transcription software recently and it has not been particularly well implemented. Having to tag our typing with our initials is bad enough, but the window on which we have to do so is slow to come up at the best of times, so that's a fair chunk of time wasted. Again, that's under the best of circumstances right now.

Logged in today and the queue was at 375 and climbing. We were backlogged as far back as Saturday (because of course the various doctors and techs are still coming in on the weekends), and all the ones left from Saturday were - you guessed it - the long and complicated bullshit that Temp doesn't want to touch. But yesterday's typing was effectively untouched when I logged in.

The queue when I logged out for the day was approaching 400. Barely anything got typed unless I typed it (except for seeing Milady take one fifteen minute long monstrosity, for which I am very grateful because I got something like three 10+ minute bits of dictation on top of the ones that don't take long to speak but do take long to type because of having to deal with the formatting - it's a thing). Most of the urgent cases got done - but not all; the longer ones of those were left behind as well when I logged out. I just hadn't noticed because I was busy with all the long dictation and the stuff from the more difficult doctors and techs. I barely saw anything taken out of the queue, and when I did, it was in bits and snatches of shorter pieces of work between the longer, complicated stuff. And like I said - not that much of that got done either.

Of course, some of this might have something to do with the transcription software, which was at its worst today. It crashed seven times, and hung for at least five minutes a dozen more times over the course of the day, at least for me. It's possible that people got slowed down because they were having the same problem, but I don't know because no one keeps me updated when Scruffman's not around. I'd bet good money that they didn't try to talk to IT about it and just used it as an excuse to relax and futz about all day, but at least it's sort of an excuse. Ish. Kind of. I mean, I was slowed up, but I wasn't slowed up that much...

If we're still in this mess when I log in tomorrow (and I honestly expect it to be much worse tomorrow), I may actually have to pull some overtime. I have spoken to Scruffman about doing so if it becomes necessary, because at least I don't have to commute, but I'm honestly not sure I have the spoons for that kind of thing. Thing is, we need to at least get partway caught up. This reflects badly on all of us, but the others don't seem to fucking care. Scruffman's away, so they can do what they want, apparently. And it's leaving us massively behind.

So tomorrow is going to be a day. If our transcription software is still a mess of hiccups and crashes, I'll be emailing IT and asking what the hell is going on. If the queue is still obscenely long (and I would wager, knowing the doctors' work patterns as I do, that it'll be approaching 500 cases when I log in, if my colleagues in the office keep on the way they're going), I'm going to have to log some overtime to at least get us so that we're only one day behind and not two. I'll obviously keep a record and email Scruffman about it, but I can't just let this stay like this. And I can't make Goblin and Temp get a fucking move on - hell, I couldn't do that even if I was in the office.

Fuck. Just ... fuck. Two whole weeks of this bullshit? Are you kidding me?!? Scruffman is obviously entitled to use his annual leave, but we're already massively understaffed because no one hired a replacement for Sunshine and Sid, so if Goblin and Temp refused to pull their respective fingers out, we're going to end up so deep in backlog that we'll end up with calls from clients asking what the fuck is going on. Most of this stuff is fairly urgent. It's histology. It's people being investigated for potential cancer in a lot of cases! I don't necessarily expect miracles, but I expect at least the kind of work ethic that doesn't involve turning the office into a chat-and-coffee corner the minute the managers' backs are turned. If I have to keep the whole place afloat for two weeks, I WANT A FUCKING RAISE. Or at the very least overtime pay.

Thankfully my own week's holiday comes pretty much as soon as Scruffman comes back from his fortnight. I'm going to need it. Especially if I have to pull overtime.

*flashes back to typing queue when I logged out before*

...When. Especially when I have to pull overtime. UGH.