#i didn't understand or care for half of it

[strwberri-milk]

Oooh could you give reactions of the LaDS guys when MC rescues them?? I can imagine their stunned faces followed by intense worry for MC

Zayne didn't think that disaster would strike the hospital but here he is using his Evol to try and help patients and their families escape. Anybody who had an offensive Evol was part of this shoddily thrown together front lines, desperately trying to buy time until the authorities arrived.

He thinks he's about to be closed in as the roof comes down, doing his best to try and lessen the damage when he sees you come to the rescue. Somehow you manage to push him out of the way, rolling the two of you to safety as you get up to continue your path. He immediately grabs you by the wrist, wordlessly asking if you're okay. You offer him a quick nod before running off to continue, both of you understanding that time is of the essence.

When he finds you again later he's giving you a full physical, wanting to make sure that you're okay despite the accident. He can only rest once you're safe, holding you close.

If you sustained a life threatening injury he's there the entire time. He's making sure that you're okay, monitoring your progress as much as the doctors will allow him to. They don't want him getting in the way, knowing that he's especially emotional because it's you despite never having seen him like this before. He knows he shouldn't be interfering but honestly, he can't help it. He's worried and he's going to blame himself for the rest of his life if you don't get better.

Xavier lost his mind when he lost sight of you, trying his best to fight while also looking for you everywhere. When he finally sees you after you took out a Wanderer he pulls you into his chest, hugging you tightly as he asks you if you're alright. He does his best to appraise your current condition, doing whatever he can to mitigate any pain you feel and trying to convince you to rest before things get worse.

The attack doesn't seem to be letting up at all and you know that the two of you have to split up to continue no matter how much he hates it. He decides fuck the orders and follows you anyway, knowing that he won't be able to focus if you're not there with him.

He hears the Wanderer too late - turning around and drawing his sword half a second later than he should when he hears your guns going off. The Wanderer immediately turns to you, giving him an opening to strike back. It's faster than either of you thought it was, the scream he hears from you shutting him down.

He's glad you saved him but not at the cost of your life and he wastes the creature, knowing his body will suffer the consequences from how powerful his attack was but that doesn't matter if it means it saved you. He immediately takes you to get help, refusing to leave your side until you're actually 100%. He promised himself he'd protect you and he's going to be even more protective of you from now on.

Rafayel didn't think that his studio would be ambushed like this but he was more than capable of handling it - or so he thought. He was close to burning down his whole studio if he needed to in order to escape the assailants, surprised when they suddenly start collapsing without him doing anything.

When you emerge with your weapon drawn he's happy to see you but immediately worries about how you got through the other people they said they brought with them. You were able to take them down thankfully but he's not convinced you're alright, securing his studio with you to ensure that the two of you have nothing else to worry about.

If you sustain a life threatening injury he's immediately calling for help but also takes care of you right then and there. He doesn't want to lose any time to waiting for medical staff to arrive or your fellow hunters - he knows how to take care of you and his fire Evol is thankfully good at cauterising wounds despite how awful he feels about you trying to be brave as he burns your skin. The scars that linger upset him deeply because to him, they represent a time he failed you but in spite of them he doesn't let it drag him down. He knows it'd just make you more upset to know that's how he feels so he just focuses on making sure his skills stay sharp enough to protect you.

Sylus doesn't normally get attacked when he goes out on a job but this was a first. He was a little underprepared, thinking he'd have a quiet evening but the fight wasn't too rough, thankfully. He turns, preparing to leave without realising that there was another figure hidden in the shadows, ready to strike him down when he hears someone fall behind him. You stand over their unconscious body, a little worse for wear but nothing some TLC couldn't solve.

Sylus insists on taking you home, knowing that while you look fine there was always a slight chance that something was being overlooked and he did not want to be negligent in your care. He doesn't like the fact that you got attacked most likely because of your association with him, telling you that you need to be more careful to avoid things like that happening.

When you do get attacked because of your connection with him he has no reservations killing the person who had the audacity to hurt you. He takes you back home, patching you up and making sure you're okay in the comfort of his house. You have round the clock care and you think that Sylus isn't too shaken about your near death experience until you realise his sleep is even lighter one night. He can't sleep properly and probably won't for a while. He'll always be even more alert, constantly having either Mephisto or himself on your trail to ensure that nothing like that happens again.

[shrimpybbq]

affection is a remedy for many a problem

continuation of a contended husband is no menace to the kingdom

______________________________________________

Aegon doesn't entirely change just because he feels loved and cared for, no. The trauma and lack of affection in his childhood still incites his drinking, but it's to a lesser degree. Still, it's not uncommon for his niece to wake to his slumbering frame reeking of cheap Flea Bottom ale, his late night antics with his sleazy friends having ended with the guards dragging his body into their shared chambers in the early morn. One would think she would be repulsed by such situations, and yet, Aegon often finds himself in the large tub with his wife washing his hair, her delicate hands bringing a soothing pressure to his waning headache. The Prince would be silent as a deep sense of shame settles over him, his expression settling into a grimace as he remembers the conversation that led him to Flea Bottom this time. His mother had been yelling at him for declaring his lack of desire for the throne - a desire that had never increased no matter the number of conversations they had. A sharp slap to his cheek before she sent him away from her chambers had been his final straw. He didn't remember much after that. Aegon is thankful that his sweet wife understands him, knowing he is trying to be better for her. She is always by his side.

The one thing that cheers him up the most is seeing his sweet little babies. The twins had come soon in the course of their marriage and though he'd been reluctant to become a father, there was soon nothing more important to him than caring for his children. He saw opportunities for redemption in them, and his wife was so good with them. She was motherly in a way that his own mother had never been, always coddling them and squeezing them tightly, praising them and laving them with affection. To see his own children loved so much healed something in Aegon. The married couple spend many hours together with the children in the nursery each day, playing with them and conversing. When the Twins had learnt of their mother's second pregnancy they had become even more excitable, always babbling to the babe and asking when their brother or sister would be born. As Jaehaera clings to her father and plays with his matching silver strands, Aegon can only look over at his wife and Jaehaerys as he presses his ear to her stomach, seeking to hear the babe. His heart swells at the realisation that he finally has a family that love him, and he who loves them more than anything in the world.

(I 100% believe half of Aegon's problems could be solved with a lot of love and affection)

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death Part 4 - End

Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3

Epilogue

Finally, after weeks under intensive medical care, she was cleared to go home. Her recovery was far from over. Lena didn't look forward to the intense physical and occupational therapy in store, but at least she could rest in a more comfortable space. Have a bit more freedom.

Alex had insisted on taking her home, though Kara had walked with them until she received a Supergirl call. Lena understood now why Kara randomly took off, and with that understanding came a slow acceptance.

The door swung open at the press of her thumb against the keypad. Alex pushed her wheelchair, and shut the door with her foot behind them. They made it almost to the sofa when the shouts erupted around them.

"Surprise!"

Lena nearly fell out of her chair at the sudden noise. People leaped out from behind the sofa, tumbled out of the kitchen, and poured in from the hallway. They were all there: Kara, Brainy, Nia, J'onn, Kelly, and even Sam and Ruby.

"Welcome home!" Alex said with a grin, meaning she was in on this too.

Lena had no idea what to make of this. She'd never had a surprise... anything before in her life. "Um, thanks?"

Ruby nearly bounded into Lena's lap with her fervent hug. "I'm so glad you're home! We were so worried when we found out." She pulled back with a teary smile. "You gotta stop almost dying on us. Because we need you here, you're family, and Mom and I sort of just got here today, so all I have is this card." She handed it over and put her hands behind her back.

Lena opened it to the words, "We love you. Please try not to die again. Or we'll drag your sorry ass back to the world of the living." The asterisk after 'ass' had a note at the bottom that read, "Ruby was allowed this one curseword in honor of you."

Lena smiled and ran her fingers over the handwriting, some of it Ruby's and some Sam. Why they bothered, she didn't know, considering how she'd ghosted them. She took a deep breath to try to stop the urge to cry. "Thank you, Ruby. I love you both too."

Sam walked up behind her daughter and smiled, her eyes glistening. "Kid has a point." She leaned forward and gave her a half hug, planting a kiss on the side of her head. "I'm glad to see you up. We've been so worried."

She handed Lena what looked like a phone at first glance, until she saw the hinge. Opening it revealed a note that read: "Answer your phone! <3 xxxoo Sam." Under it was one of her guilty pleasures, a very specific hard candy only sold in Ireland.

"Sam..." Lena didn't know what to say. She wiped away tears, frustrated with herself. Since her near death and disablement, she'd become a weepy fool. "Thank you. I'll be better about staying in touch. I promise."

As the others moved forward, one at a time to greet her and welcome her home, Lena found herself smiling and dissolving into tears yet again. She wasn't used to this much care, and it still felt unreal. Like the shoe could drop at any moment, and yet it didn't.

Alex had continued to care for her, Kara and the others had continued to visit, and now that Lena was cleared to rest at home? Here they all were being the sappiest people she'd ever met.

"Make sure you kiss your beefcake," Nia whispered as she dropped a box of chocolates on Lena's lap. "She set this up, and I kind of have money on the line, so give a girl some help?"

Lena laughed, but she couldn't stop herself from sneaking a look at Kara who stood, swaying back and forth on her heels, as she waited impatiently. "Sure, Nia."

Alex gave her a backpack of all things. "Hey, don't give me that look," the director said with a cluck of her tongue. "Think of all the science-y things you can stuff in this thing and loop onto your wheelchair. Nothing will stop you now."

She lightly swatted Alex's arm. "Maybe if I was five, but really, thank you." At least the bag was black, so it matched the chair's coloration.

Kelly's gift was perhaps the most useful. A tool to grab things from afar. Lena immediately snapped it in Alex's direction, who danced out of reach with a scowl. "It's perfect," she said with a grin.

"I know you have a long recovery in store," Brainy said with a bow of his head. "But I will give you access to my favorite..." he glanced at Nia, "... toys as Nia calls them." He held out a small, palm-sized square. "Press your thumb and a holographic interface, encrypted for our communication and projects, will appear."

Lena couldn't resist. She pressed her thumb, and the interface swirled around her, filled with all sorts of delicious programs. "Holy shit, Brainy. Thank you. This is a delight." She pressed her thumb again, and it vanished.

J'onn stepped forward and bowed his head. "I wish to apologize for my actions in not bringing you in sooner. You've always been one of the best of us, and so I offer you the aid of my community. We have had many soldiers wounded in battle, and I will gladly aid in your recovery. So that you may find the mobility that fits your needs."

Lena studied the stoic man and thought back to something Kara had said to her. "You're a good swordfighter?" When he nodded, she smiled. "I was nearly an Olympic fencer. That's my goal. To recover enough to challenge you to a duel."

He bowed to her. "I accept."

Kara came last, of course. "Hey you." She knelt and wrapped Lena in a tight hug. Lena leaned her head against Kara's shoulder and breathed in her usual vanilla scent.

The pain hadn't full healed between them, but they were taking little steps. And with each one, Lena settled into the reality that Kara wasn't some omnipotent do-no-wrong-god, but a trauma-filled, messy alien who feared loss almost as much as Lena did.

That's one thing the past few weeks in Alex's medical ward taught her: perfection didn't exist, and that's okay. It was okay to be imperfect. She'd still be loved for who she was, even despite her sometimes bratty, petty nature.

Kara pulled back and kissed Lena's forehead. "I made this." She handed her a cylinder with lines and dots on all sides. "It's a puzzle box like what my father made. Give you something to do as you heal."

"Kara," she leaned her head against Kara's shoulder. "God, I love you so much," she whispered. "Thank you."

"I love you too." Kara carded her fingers through her hair. Lena gladly took the brief moment to recalibrate herself for more people interaction. Alex's words hovered in her head, "I need you to recognize your limits."

She took stock of her pain, her emotional bandwidth, and decided she could handle an hour. Then she'll ask to go to the bedroom. Plan in place, she pulled back from Kara with a smile.

She blinked away her tears. "Thanks to all of you. Now, I'd like to sit down on the sofa, if you don't mind?"

Kara chuckled and gently scooped Lena into a bridal carry. Her face flushed, likely as pink as her own. "As you wish, milady."

Alex groaned at that while Nia cackled.

Settled on the sofa, Lena leaned back into the cushions in relief. Fatigue plagued her still, and the pain simmered despite the pain meds. Still, she was much improved than a week ago. This ordeal had taught her that even small steps were worthy victories.

"So you ready for cake? Because all welcome home parties need cake." Kara practically hopped from foot to foot.

"Sure, Supergirl," Lena drawled. "Better fly me the best."

"Oh, you betcha. Straight from Belgium." Kara sounded quite proud of herself.

"Kara..." Alex pressed her palm against her face.

"Supergirl?" Sam echoed, her eyebrows raised.

"Wait a second," Kelly looked around, surprised. "Kara is Supergirl???"

Well, it was nice to know she wasn't the last one told after all.

***

Six months later

Lena gripped the bars, most of her weight on her arms. Her legs trembled beneath her, her right foot turned slightly to the left. Kara stood at the other end of the torture session with a grin. "Come on, Lena, you can do this."

"Oh shut up." Lena growled, but there was no heat in her words, only a deep affection. She carefully took a step, and her leg held. A tingling sizzled up her leg muscles, but she didn't crumple. Slowly, she lifted and plopped her other foot down. That one proved weaker than the other, so she leaned into the bars more.

"Remember to breathe." Her physical therapist stood behind her ready to catch if she fell.

She took a deep breath and managed another step. The rhythm of walking felt strange, like a foreign language she'd forgotten after months of using a wheelchair.

Since the attack, she'd kept a low profile. Sam returned as temporary CEO, and Alex proved to be just as protective of her as she was of Kara. Nia's article of the attack won the public's favor for Lena, which had been a nice, short boost for L-Corp.

So she slowly made her way down the bars, each step mores stable than the last. Her muscles screamed at the effort, but she pushed forward, determined.

Kara, as always, lived up to her promise and stayed at her side. Assisted her lab work. Accepted with grace the occasional microscope she threw at her head. Since becoming an independent writer and science consultant, Kara spent more and more time at her penthouse, and it had started to fill up with knickknacks, paintings by Kara, Kara's clothes randomly strewn over chairs, and a kitchen full of enough food for a hungry Kryptonian.

Lena knew she wasn't always the best partner. Sometimes Kara and her fought bitterly, but they'd learned to come together and talk it out. To share space for one another's feelings. To tentatively explore what being together really looked like.

All a step at a time.

Her trek reached the end of the bars, and there Kara stood, her arms out stretched.

"You did it! I told you so," Kara said with a delighted laugh.

Lena leaned forward and let herself fall into Kara's embrace. She looked up and smiled at her lovable dork. "I suppose I owe you that ice cream, my love," she said, wryly.

Kara nodded and brushed her nose against Lena's. "You sure do."

Lena placed her hand on Kara's cheek and kissed her lips. As she pulled back, she smiled at the goofy dazed expression Kara always wore when Lena sneaked a kiss.

"I'll make it two, for being such a good motivator." Behind her the physical therapist cleared her throat. Lena chuckled and for the first time in her life, she actually felt happy.

She'd cheated death yet again and won a girlfriend from it. Quite the bargain when all was said and done.

[calsrottencorpse]

would I hug, kiss on the cheek, kiss on the lips, or get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with criminals

got bored..👅

Eric Harris

Ok.. realistically, I dont think he'd like me in the first place, but most people on here likely wouldn't either, but, if we ignore that, I'd give him a peck on the cheek, hes a cutie imo

Dylan Klebold

..even with all things considered, id still kiss him on the lips. Even if yes, hes got a foot fetish, and also a bondage enjoyer, but I could care less about both, shrug. I also think he's pretty cute

Leighton Allen Labute (DollyFlesh)

Believe it or not, I had no idea he was a criminal, at first I just thought he was another bobby lemon situation (funnily enough, they're both Canadian), but I looked him up and found out he was arrested for two accounts of murder and abuse (of animals). But anyways, what would I do? Nothing, at most maybe a hug.. but in all honesty I don't think I want to hug him, he's also not a looker, but i think thats because of his hair, it looks like a wig, specifically kinda like those wigs that George Washington and whoever wore but black

Elliot Rodgers

He's cute, but I think he'd be insufferable, I don't know much about him, or his case, but from what I know, I really don't think I could deal with him, then again, I have known people who are likely worse, and I honestly have a high tolerance (in my opinion at least) but im getting off topic. I would at least kiss him on the cheek.. but I don't think he'd let me anyway...

Adam Lanza

He freaks me out, he always looks shell-shocked, or like he just saw the worst thing imaginable. But he's not bad looking. But I'd probably only hug him..

Andrew Blaze

I feel like out of all of these people, she'd be the only one I'd get along with, even if just a little bit. Mainly because we share similar interests, but she also just seems like she'd be the only one who I wouldn't feel like I would get murdered, doxxed or threatened every day if i stopped being friends with them. Kiss on the lips, or perhaps freaky tiem👅👅

Ted Bundy

no.

Pekka-eric Auvinen

As much as I love him and his case, I don't think I'd get freaky, hell, I probably wouldn't kiss him on the lips, even if i want to, he intimidates me lowkey. At most a hug, or if I feel braver, kiss on the cheek

Artyom Anoufriev

i know just about jack shit about him and Nikita, so forgive me for not saying much, but I think id just give him a hug

Nikita Lytkin

Don't know much about him like I said earlier. Maybe a side hug, I feel like he spells horrible, I would probably try not to breathe though my nose around him

Jeffery Dahmer

I can't help but think of my half-brother who is also named Jeffrey, and gay. Maybe I'll give a hug .. he intimidates me, but he also seems chill

Brandon Hole

Only giving him a hug, funky looking dude, his head looks like an upside down pear that's starting to bruise. Probably smells. We share a few similar interests, I guess

Dylann Roof

I know a dude or two at my school who look like him and are completely insufferable. Don't know much about his case to be honest, but i think I'd give him a kiss on the cheek, he kinda cute.. kinda

Thomas Matthew Crooks

Oh.. it's freaky time for sure vro👅👅 (thats mostly a joke)

These are all the people I can think of currently👅

Extras!!

Cal

Hm... if this was earlier on when I first joined the tcc, I'd say freaky time, but I think i'll just give him a kiss on the cheek

Andre

That one scene where he gets on his knees with the shotgun in-between his legs while he conceals it... ughdjsj I converted from Cal to Andre.. I love Andre.. I don't think i have to say my answer atp

Alex (Elephant)

I didn't really get much from elephant when I watched it, I was very confused, started to understand and got confused again. But this is about Alex, not the movie he's in. He's good looking for sure, but I think I'll just kiss him on the cheek

Eric (Elephant)

hmmm..also kiss on the cheek

Dylan and Eric in Zero Hour

Sorta random but when I was trying to find the actors names, on the IMB page it says that Eric and Dylan themselves played as themselves😭😭🙏 like ah yes, they brought them back to life just to film this!! Anyways, they're both fine, though still probably just gonna kiss them on the cheek / lips

[bianca-mii]

One of the most iconic kisses between our guitarists from the 2022 tour. I can't write as beautifully as @woodswallow, but I made this gifset as I thought there is a very interesting thing to point out.

The Auslaender outro started almost as usual, with Richard feeling the music probably somewhat more.

But this moment shows one massive difference from arguably every other Auslaender's kiss: Richard is not smiling. He's not focused on seducing Paul with that evil grin. There's no tension, no predatory stare. He is... sad? He looks Paul in the eye, and while Paul is in that playful-teasing-I'm-not-that-easy-to-get mode of his, in which he rather avoids eye contact with Richard, he must realize something is off with the lead guitarist...

But they both go for the kiss. In the beginning, I thought maybe Richard was sad, at least partially, because during some of the 2022 shows Paul seemingly didn't feel like having that little smooch. From what I've read, Paul is very uncomfortable with PDA and, in general, tries to keep his private life as far from the public eye as possible. 2019 kisses were fun and outrageous, which Paul loves, and also had a political impact. But by the half of the 2022 tour, it was obvious nobody cared about any political impact anymore and the guitarists kissed just because they like it. Richard doesn't care if people are watching, he may even like it better that way, so perhaps he couldn't entirely understand Paul's hesitation. Also, on the previous show, still in Europe, their kiss was very quick, too quick for Richard's liking:

He made that gesture with his mouth as if he wanted to say: "Ahh, it ended before I could even taste it!" On which Paul said something, maybe like: "I've told you already: quick pecks - for the audience, the actual kisses - only you and me, no witnesses..." And Richard was like: "Oh, okay, but a boy can dream, can't he?"

Going back to Chicago's kiss: so it's not the case that Richard is sad because he thinks Paul wants no public kisses: they go for it as usual. I also don't think he's sad because he'd prefer the kiss to be longer - that doesn't sound like an actual reason to feel sad. It has to be something else.

Whatever it is, Richard tries to pull away first as he probably thinks the kiss will be over by that time anyway. Indeed, it's usually been (if not any other time) Paul who pulls away first; I also think Richard's hand on the back of Paul's neck used to be there for that extra control, to keep him in place just a little bit longer, but it wasn't hugely sufficient. This time though, again, Richard thinks the kiss will be over just after a moment. But what happens next? Especially from this angle, it seems very clear: Paul doesn't let go. And his reaction is really intense: he keeps his lips locked with Richard's, his right hand, put on Richard's shoulder, grabs it more firmly; you can see all his body leaning on his partner; if you look at his butt, it slightly goes up as he maybe even gets on tiptoe.

I remember reading suggestions Richard was that surprised because maybe Paul slipped him some tongue. I'd love to think that, but what I believe really happened was that Paul sucked hard on Richard's lip to keep their mouths together as Richard tried to pull away.

This is not the best quality, but it sort of confirms that theory: you can briefly see Richard's mouth, and then how it literally gets sucked:)

Paul pulls away when it's over but also slightly pushes Richard: "now, that should do!", but Richard, despite experiencing a massive WTF?! moment, remains sober enough to put some pressure on Paul's nape, doesn't let him go, and pulls him back close again, for a hug. He also starts to laugh so heartily that it makes my heart melt. Perhaps he's realized what face he's just made and laughs, just a little bit, at himself too. Paul, on the other hand, briefly returns the hug, but then is all like: "there, there, don't overdo it, babe." He gives Richard a few pats on the back, like the male friends with no benefits would do - he is back into his no PDA mode, and puts his right hand back on Richard's shoulder, this time trying to push him away.

But now Richard does not have it: "nah love, not so fast, you should have expected now I need to thank you for what you've just done... *mwah*". Another kiss on the lips, brief one this time, and finally Paul can go, obviously showing to everybody: "look! Just look at this little naughty thing right there!", Richard is doing something similar for a moment, too (what a complete pair of dorks:D).

So, I imagine Richard was so surprised because Paul not only didn't want to end the kiss quickly but literally forced it to be longer. I love this moment so much for two reasons: it totally makes sense Paul is uncomfortable with PDA, but as soon as Richard feels worse, or Paul gets sentimental himself (like by the end of tours), Paul stops thinking about any discomfort and goes for it with no hesitation, which pretty much says that comforting Richard is simply much more important for him. I think we saw it here, we saw it during Puppe 2023 or this tour after the German football team lost.

What I also more than love, is how Paul's little mouth-to-mouth treatment really brings Richard back to life and turns the night into the day for him (no wonder, who wouldn't be more than alive if they just got a kiss from Landers himself?). Richard is over the moon here, and seeing him undergo such a 180-degree mood switch is an almost otherwordly experience...

Here's the whole video cropped by me, original credit to till_lindemann_pics on ig. One of the other gifs by @davecumstaine, the other one - I can't tell, I downloaded it a long time ago and can't find it here anymore, many apologies;(

[starrysharks]

evilution

[kagooleo]

I did this one to celebrate Silver's bday back in 2021, a sonboy to me who deserves the world ;-;

[asocial-skye]

as the holidays come to a close, i'm left to wonder....

how does religion work in the pjo universe?

[moe-broey]

Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡

I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO

Moe just has...... SO many problems.......

Close-ups of my fave shots!

The elusive Líf...

[carriehobbs]

every day i am so grateful that you enable me. ocposting is my favourite hobby in the world

(these are probably not the best screenshots i have of seraphine but they are my favourite screenshots of seraphine. i love her little scooby doo peek-around-from-behind-the-door)

seraphine is (one of) my redemption durge and she's a drow college of lore bard who i have romancing astarion. i said specifically that i wanted to talk about the way that she and astarion are mutually (and, in some cases, not-so-secretly) using each other in their act 1 romance, but to make that make sense, i'll have to explain a little bit about her.

one of the things that (as her player) sets her apart from my other tav/durge runs is that seraphine is really rather pragmatic (and a little ruthless) in her approach to handling problems. she gets off the nautiloid and knows only two things about herself: that she has an illithid tadpole in her head and that she has violent and inexplicable urges. whereas juno (my other redemption durge) immediately responds to her dark urges with revulsion, seraphine compartmentalizes that shit until act 3 (thereafter she handles it so badly she tries (and fails) to break up with astarion). it's not that she likes the urges (and she certainly doesn't like that she has these seemingly external forces trying to make her do things she does not want to do - if she's going to murder her way across the sword coast, it should be because she wants to do it, not some unwanted urge), it's just that she has bigger problems that require more attention than fretting over if she's a bad person. specifically: 1) not becoming a mindflayer, 2) not slaughtering her way through the countryside uncontrollably, and 2.5) in case she does slaughter her way through the countryside, finding a way to make sure her newfound allies with an unfortunate amount of morals do not kill her for it.

see, seraphine recognizes that power doesn't just come from who has the most money or political pull or even physical power. there is power in being liked, and there's power in being owed. and the way she sees it is that, if she fails to resist her urges and does kill someone, if she's built up goodwill with her companions who like her and feel like they owe her for helping each of them with their personal troubles and being an all-around-good person (helping the tieflings in the grove, etc.), they will be more likely to forgive and ignore her own issues (and, to her credit, this does work: she gets caught after she kills alfira and, while they disapprove, no one tries to kick her out of camp or kill her. she just gets the verbal equivalent of a slap on the wrist).

so when astarion approaches her and starts flirting with her and suggests they have a sexual relationship, between him coming on way too strong and the fact that she's actively endearing herself to everyone else in the camp using similar tactics, she can easily spot his attempts to manipulate her. at this point in the game, she's figured out what will make the other companions like her, but she's only just figured out how to handle the issue of astarion (in her playthrough, he propositioned her immediately after handling the gur hunter in the swamp, which is the introduction of the cazador-is-looking-for-astarion plotline). and when astarion propositions her, she realizes that she doesn't need to figure out how to get astarion to like her, or how to make him feel like he owes her. he's handed her on a silver platter a way to manipulate him into needing her, such that he will tie his own fate and his own safety to hers (and, if she goes down, he loses his protector, so he better be inclined to prevent her from going down if need be).

i think it's important to mention that seraphine does actually like astarion (because i definitely just made it sound like she doesn't). they're not super close at this point, but she genuinely enjoys his company. he sees the world in a similar way (not perfectly similarly - she wants to shake sense into him when he disapproves of helping people because she's playing the longest con of her life and he's not getting with her program), at least in terms of wanting power (so that he can have freedom). she also finds him funny and she gets his sense of humor. one of my favourite moments in the earlier stages of their relationship is when astarion runs pickup lines past her and she's having a grand old time giggling like a schoolgirl at the melodrama of it all. so she's using him, but she does also like him. just as he's using her, but (in time) comes to like her too.

(an odd note, as well, that doesn't really fit into this but is tangentially related: seraphine starts helping with the companion's personal quests because she needs them to like her and, over time, helps them because she grows to like them as people. but it always feels like she is helping them with their problems. but with astarion, freeing him from cazador always felt like their problem together. it was something she felt actively and equally involved in, even from the start, even if she didn't understand it. in fact, in astarion's act 2 romance scene where he tells you that he has real feelings for you, seraphine realized in that exact conversation that she had real feelings for him too, and all of her behaviour very quickly made sense.)

so it's in this fashion that seraphine and astarion are both using each other in act 1 (and into parts of act 2). seraphine fully knows that she is trying to manipulate him and that he's trying to manipulate her. astarion, on the other hand, doesn't. (i think that, as a character, he would be socially savvy enough to put together what was going on, but the game itself doesn't seem to anticipate that players might take this approach to his romance. i think that's why, in astarion's act 2 romance scene, you have the option to get mad at him for "revealing" that he began your relationship with the intent to manipulate you, but have no option to tell him that you were manipulating him too. so canonically, astarion didn't know that seraphine had figured out his game. i headcanon that she does eventually tell him this - maybe in act 3?).

of course, as their romance progresses their feelings for each other change and the manipulation tactics disappear and they're just two people who love and care for each other deeply. as i get closer to the end of act 3 in seraphine's playthrough the more i am convinced that they become strangely domestic post-game.

[icewindandboringhorror]

A very interesting cloud formation!

[sskk-manifesto]

Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´；ω；｀)

[shopcat]

one thing that's always been so confusing to me for years now is the way people like overexaggerate how deku was treated in middle school and their whole middle school experience in general it's so ... 😭 like in order for them to push their own perception of bakugou (unapologetic villainous sadistic cruel bully who shows no sign of remorse and will never own up for or change his behaviour AKA people incapable of deducing what a character arc looks like and a pretty simple one at that) and sort of like i guess be like SEE... deku is a VICTIMMMM!!! and must be Saved and Nurtured or something. i would say it's woobifying him if he weren't the like protagonist lol.

like this isn't even about he and bakugou's relationship as is bc that's a whole other thing i just mean like. the other kids at their school poked fun at bakugou and didn't take him that seriously EITHER, no one was trembling in fear or letting him do whatever ... he wasn't Top Dog just because he was generally "popular" and to be honest from my perception i don't even think he was popular considering the way people reacted to him i think they all knew he was well. bakugou. they all also called him by his first name and willingly yelled at him and junk which is indicative of a more casual relationship lol not whatever it is ... fanon says. the two friends that were there even made a point to be like "well that was harsh weren't you childhood friends" when he told deku to jump off a roof.

i dunno it's just funny at this point when people act like it was this horrific particularly cruel school full of people who would beat deku every day and make him eat dirt when the whole point is it was kind of an incredibly average school where they all have known each other their whole lives and the casual cruelty of kids words and actions still having an affect on someone and their general self esteem and perception. "kids make fun of me [for being quirkless & wanting to be a hero]" like you don't need to exagerate or just plain make up harsher bullying scenarios just to get people to take deku as a protagonist seriously or something let alone if you're just doing it because you hate bakugou which is just like what the hell ever man. the notion that in order for him to overcome something bakugou needs to have ruined his life from when they were babies (categorically untrue and you don't understand anything going on w their friendship and the way it affects the narrative at ALL!) AND his mom neglects him or something (insane and you're all actually evil) and all might told him to kill himself as well (would have been funny as fuck to be honest but obviously not what happened) is so dumb and offensive to the actual story being told. and i mean above all else at the end of the day this is a shounen and they're a bunch of kids who are meant to be kids And kids act ... childishly. crazy. everyone needs to stop taking it so seriouslyyyyyy can we just be silly please...

[littletrumpetcat]

i got my wisdom teeth out (abridged version, i was not put under, i babysat a half hour later. long story) and i am in PAIN. also taking out the bloody mess of a gauze every hour fucking sucks. i almost yakked every time i pulled it out of my mouth. the worst part? every time i burp i taste remnants of paper towel. i need to know if anyone else can relate. this is so gross. im tired

[tenok]

.

[corset]

Really feeling that experience of being an autistic person in an environment that's terrible for me where I'm basically trying to figure out really hard how to not be an emotionally unstable wreck all the time who throws "childish tantrums" over "dumb shit" because I hate feeling like my family always expects me to just snap whenever anything happens and whether or not I do just depends on how much Repression Juice I've got left in the tank or how Unshitty the circumstances have been for the last week or even few days