#i didnt know that i had that desert passion within me

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 2: Man On The Moon

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

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master list / ao3 chapter link

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warnings: lotta swearing and usual heavy pstd bucky stuff. also!! im giving sam's story a little bit of author bias/culture venting. this wont read like canon FATWS sam, though i am trying to honor their show where i dont hate it. i love sam's journey to cap, even if ken doll was nauseating (whats funny is i didnt know his actor's name is wyatt until halfway through THIS chapter when i googled something. oh well lmao im sure he's a perfectly nice dude. the wyatt in this fic is My Baby) plus the trump era commentary was completely toothless imo. and the fact that james buchanan barnes acknowledged in episODE T H R E E of the series that he'd take the shield before letting it fall???? even through all his self-hatred?????? get the fuck out of here that desTROYED ME i hate this fictional man with a passion

song: this one's by kid cudi!! 🥰

its time for the l o n g i n g to start ❤️ grab tissues!! first biggie angst so i had to put it behind our resident teddy bear's pov 🥺 you KNOOOOW i had to finish up this update in time for stevie’s birthday 🥰

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October 3rd, 2015

Samuel Wilson was not disillusioned when he walked into his first recruitment office. There were no patriotic stars in his eyes, no lotto number clutched painfully between nervous fingers to drive his feet up to that kiosk. He wasn’t foaming at the mouth to earn career-establishing stripes in a timely fashion. All he had to his name was a high school diploma and twenty-three bucks in his pocket. He didn’t have any big dreams for the desert rocks to tear a hole through. 

Sam was a kid back then. One who wanted to build a life, and the GI Bill offered to make that happen. A solid, steady income with the vision of a college education somewhere on the horizon. Not a lot of other options for someone like him, no matter which familiar corner of the country he looked at.

It took a long time and the right partner for the Air Force to talk him out of his combat objections once the ANG got wind of him. He turned the experimental program down flat twice; Pararescue was his focus for a reason. They had to bribe him with cutting-edge tech and the authority to refuse an assignment just to get him to agree to a first flight. The words never found their way onto an official record, at least none he knows of, but Sam had relentlessly insisted that he wouldn’t be volunteering as the next Indianapolis. Getting pushback on that assertion was when the anger first set in. The first crack in the armor of his career.

There were a lot of better angels within the service; it took most of them to get him home, tape-free, after Riley’s death. By the end of it all, it felt like every last one of them was outnumbered fifty to one. Nothing felt right anymore, including the idea of leaving the family he found in the sand to fend for themselves. The only thing that felt survivable after the world finally stopped tilting was dedicating himself to the VA.

Living for the memory of the ones he lost helped him find other reasons to want to be a person again. From there, it was mostly helping other people find reasons of their own that drove him forward.

It’s why he’s willing to delve into some shithole facility in the middle of nowhere Russia for a guy like Steve Rogers. And, on some levels, he supposes, if he absolutely has to, for a guy like Bucky Barnes. Even if he is the grouchiest motherfucker on the face of the Earth.

The lumbering moron hasn’t said a word all morning, no matter what small talk Steve tries to open with. And he’s tried everything, ever since they landed. Sam’s responded to a few of the openings himself just to try to fill the silence. He hopes it’s helping. It’s been hard to get a detailed read on the other push-pop’s triggers so far. Steve hasn’t signaled for him to stop, so.

“Cryo is through here,” Bucky rumbles under his breath. They’re the first words he’s spoken since the Quinjet.

“How many should we be expecting?” Steve asks almost as quietly.

“How many people am I asking you to put a bullet through, you mean.”

Steve stops halfway through the door Bucky’s directed them to. “We haven’t decided if that’s what we’re going to—”

“Maybe you haven’t decided. I’ll do it if you won’t.” The former sergeant doesn’t turn around. He keeps walking, getting closer to the stocky metal pods.

Sam already hates this. He already hates this a whole fucking lot. Captain America coming to him with a request to take the headcase to Russia was always going to get weird; he knew that. But he’s been very clear on what he’s down for, and now they’re in murder and war crime weird. He’d like to start slowing down the crazy train—

Steve holds up his hand. “Bucky, listen, it doesn’t have to—”

“Fuck off. You have no idea what it’s like to sit in this hell. You two can wait outside if you’re so uncomfortable. I’ve got it from here.”

Mmm. That’s the voice of a guilt-ridden survivor. Sam recognizes it well. At least it’s giving him a bead on where today’s drive is coming from. “You mean the hell we pulled you from?”

Steve’s head whips around, with righteous, territorial anger in his eyes. “You’re right, Buck; we don’t. But—”

“But you don’t know what they want,” Sam forcefully finishes, staring back at Steve. He banks on the fact that, technically, they’re not really disagreeing. Steve’s trying to back him down, too, in his own way. “Taking away their chance at the same new life you’re getting isn’t—”

Bucky’s cybernetic fist comes crashing down on one of the corroded desks, making the rusted metal whine in protest, deforming to the shape of his fingers. “You two don’t fucking get it.” He turns, angrily tugging his hand back to his side. The assassin doesn’t advance, but his posture is more than ready for it as he glares at them with pure contempt. “You think you’re going to find people in those tanks—humans, with hearts and minds and hopes and dreams. There might as well be skeletons getting freezer-burned in those goddamn caskets because that’s the only salvageable thing you’ll find. You fucking—”

He laughs, the sound empty, and turns back around to send his fist into the side of the table, knocking it across the room. He doesn’t face them again. “You fuckers! You take a fucking look at me. Take a good, long look. I am half alive. I had a radiation-free knockoff keeping me upright through their bullshit. You wanna know what they had? Something that might as well have been piss mixed in some fucking snow. Worthless trash those Nazi bastards bottled up and stuck in a needle.”

“Bucky—” Steve tries to calm his best friend as the man’s voice breaks. Sam could tell him from first-hand experience how well that’s going to go over.

There was a lot of screaming in that desert. A lot of grief disguised as anger. A lot of old ideals leaving newly-shattered men one seething tear at a time.

“They were zombies by the time HYDRA was done injecting them. Do you get that? Are you two grasping the concept? They were rabid dogs I trained to respond to whistles. Rotting corpses that I taught how to aim. And that was before their brains shorted out on them. I looked into every single one of their eyes. I saw what looked back. Fuck species—what was in there was not fucking alive. Fuck you—fuck you so fucking much for even fucking suggesting I should leave them like that—like animated fucking cadavers—hooked up to some fucking machine just to breathe—”

“James.”

Bucky’s flood of words finally cuts off, and Sam isn’t sure if it’s because of the use of his first name or the way he swallows as if he’s choking. His flesh hand comes down on the back of the chair that started out tucked under the table. It keeps the guy upright while he pulls in a few breaths that look painful, even through the curtain of dark brown hair.

“Let’s see what’s what first,” Sam suggests as diplomatically as he can manage. He doesn’t take a step forward, mostly because he doesn’t see Steve take one. “Then we go from there.”

“You’re going to hate what you see.” Bucky scoffs bitterly. “You think you know, but you don’t. You’re going to hate me for bringing you here. For the rest of your lives.”

Steve moves forward, finally, but he stays a few feet to Bucky’s seven o’clock. “I’m not dumb enough to make you any promises about not hating what I see here. I haven’t even looked in one, and I already know you’re right on the money when it comes to that. But I can promise that you’ll always be wrong about me hating you for any of this.”

“So can I,” Sam assures. There’s not a doubt in his mind now that he understands where they’re at.

—

Bucky’s up at 0500. 

He hasn’t slept a minute later than that since the first night his body adjusted to New York’s timezone, no matter what hour he falls asleep. He doesn’t attempt more than upright power naps on away missions. They’re the only thing that gets him any rest outside of his room in the tower. 

It’s the same every morning. First, he works on his back, popping away the stiffness one awkward bend of his limbs at a time. From there, the extra thick comforter gets picked up off the floor, then the blanket and the lopsided pillow. They always get tossed on top of the bed he’s never used. Except on Saturdays, when he does his laundry. That’s when they get put in a basket to be taken to Natasha’s room. She won’t let him have his own washing machine until he starts using the bed.

So, every Saturday, he shows up with his little pile at 0800 because Natasha won’t unlock the door until then. A pillowcase. A blanket and matching comforter. Two shirts, usually henleys, five black tanks, and two different tactical pants. One pair of gloves. His singular monkey suit gets taken to the cleaners whenever he’s forced to wear it, which thankfully isn’t often.

His dress uniform hasn’t come out of the box Steve dropped it off in after getting it pulled from the goddamn Smithsonian. Bucky hasn’t laid eyes on it since 1943.

While he’s working his hair up into a serviceable bun, he thinks about Natasha’s recommendation to start braiding it before he sleeps. He doesn’t like the idea of something that tight sitting against his head, especially at night. Maybe if he lets his hair grow out a little more. He wants to keep the shoulder length it’s at now, though. It looks good on him. He wants to know what asking someone to pull on it feels like. Eventually. 

Online dating has been… overwhelming, to say the least.

He’s reaching for the medkit in the drawer under his bathroom sink when the mental image of Ava creeps in. He isn’t trying to blow off the hippie’s orders. Honestly, the thought of their deal hadn’t crossed his mind until he got to this part of his day. Resisting the urge yesterday had been difficult. He knew ahead of time that today was going to be much worse. It means pushing through a repeated break in his pattern.

That voice, the one that insists he should tell Steve to fuck off much more, rears its head. His flesh hand twitches with the reflex to finish his usual routine. To show up late to her office with some blase excuse about doing it out of habit. He could sell the lie without even trying. Entire countries have fallen thanks to his expertise with it. She wouldn’t have a shot in hell at knowing the difference.

He could work his way out of this with ease. Steve already feels guilty about making him pull a hard stop during his first visit, even if he won’t say the words. It’s the perfect opening to establish a line and push it away to give himself some room, one step at a time.

With a decisive flick of his wrist, Bucky shuts the drawer holding his medkit. For the second time since he was allowed to travel without a handler, he walks away from his morning routine without treating the cybernetics on the back of his neck.

It makes his skin feel wrong—off, unsettled—as he gets his standard gear on. He’s still grounded, thanks to Steve, so it’s the version he’s got closest to fatigues. He hopes the doctor doesn’t mind rolling down a polyester turtleneck to get at his brain port. He almost skips going to the gym for his workout, but that would worsen the off feeling. And he’d have to sit around with nothing to do for hours waiting for their first scheduled maintenance. 

He slides his phone into his back pocket, intent on heading to his standard morning haunt. A few hours of going through his paces in the gym will help his nerves. When his mind offers up the suggestion that a workout before seeing the cute doctor could be—advantageous, he tries not to linger in it. 

The idea certainly doesn’t make him feel bad. It’s even sort of... motivating in its own way. It... contributes to his reasons for doing a few extra sets on the bench. And adding a quick rock wall climb. There are others, of course. Being chained to the tower like a toddler in timeout because his best friend is an asshole is certainly one of them. He tacks on more time at the reinforced, Super-Soldier-proof punching bag to ease that particular frustration.

Even with the additions to his cardio, he’s still got an hour to kill before their appointment. He fills it by heading for the roof of the tower. It’s not even 0900, so no one but a few graveyard stragglers are out in the open space. SHIELD agents like him that are married to the job, catching a glimpse of the sun and a few puffs of nicotine before going to crash. Bucky stops to help one of them struggling with her lighter, offering up his spare Bic. The other agent smiles at him in tired appreciation before hovering the end of her cigarette over the flame. He counts it as contributing to his social life. He’ll figure out how to phrase it to get his therapist off his ass later. 

The brain trust’s space is, unsurprisingly, effortless to find. Ava wasn’t kidding; it’s actually tucked away in one corner of the roof, hidden along the wall that extends up to the tower’s executive launch bay. Bucky had expected them to claim a spot overlooking the Avenger’s balcony. Then again, he’s heard she’s pretty close friends with Tony, so maybe he shouldn’t have. She probably knows better by now. 

There’s another collection of gargantuan chairs, this time made out of wicker and upholstery that feels soft when he runs his fingers over it. A tapestry rivaling the paint swatches at Steve’s supply store is mounted to the wall behind them. Two poles hold it at the opposite corners, keeping it blowing slightly in the wind as it hangs over the collected seating. The coffee table in the middle has a lockbox sitting on it, with SHEILDs insignia embossed on the lid. 

He’s got level seven clearance these days. He could still easily get through that lock, even if he didn’t. It’s going to drive him batshit, not knowing what’s in it before she takes him up here herself. 

Bucky turns around and gets halfway back to the door to the stairwell before the buzzing in his neck builds too much for comfort. He grinds his teeth through the sensation. He even manages to force himself another few steps forward. But, ultimately, the buzzing wins out, and he spins again with a vicious curse. 

The confirmation chime of his clearance override feels too loud, even out here in the open. The top of the lockbox rolls back, revealing a set of playing cards, a jumbled collection of stress toys, a SHEILD standard medkit, and some candles. He almost leaves without checking the medkit. He’s so close to being able to stomach the idea. 

Almost. 

There’s nothing sinister to be found in it once it’s open. It’s stock issue. Not one of the item counts is off, but the lot numbers don’t match, meaning she maintains it regularly. Knowing that information feels invasive, despite being convinced she wouldn’t mind how he got it.

This. Isn’t. Siberia. Ava Ryder is not going to put a gun in his hand. She is not a risk to him. 

Bucky leaves the roof, headed for her lab. He’s going to tell her he went snooping. He can do that, at least—a bare minimum level of respect to offer her. 

She’s not in her office when he gets through the painted door at 0857. Only one of the doctors is behind the glass today. It’s the other woman—the American-born German. Hannah. Her head is down, focused on a tablet under her hands, with wireless earbuds peaking out from her dirty blonde hair. A hologram of a brain Bucky doesn’t recognize is running next to her. It’s not his; there’s no spider webbing. One of their other patients then. 

He takes a seat in the same chair he used during his last visit. “JARVIS?”

“Good morning, Sergeant Barnes,” the AI responds with nothing but tranquility. “Something you need?”

“Can you tell the doc I’m ready when she is?”

“Of course. Dr. Ryder has not yet entered the building. I’ll let her know you’ve arrived.”

Bucky frowns. “Ah—cancel that. Is she—“ Don’t ask him to track her, you dumbfuck. That’s weird. “Never mind. I’ll wait.”

This is New York. He’s not even sure what part of the city she lives in. For all he knows, she could be stuck in a cab uptown. He can pull the stick out of his ass long enough to give her room to be human. 

He sits there in silence, sunken into pillows with his leg bouncing rapidly, and talks himself up in his head. He’s not uncomfortable. He’s not going to bullshit his way out of this. This is good; it’s going to help him. Bucky is happy about that. It’s a relief to be facing this after a lifetime of running. 

By 0901, he wants to leave. The urge is nearly overwhelming. He makes it to 0904 before he stands up. It takes until 0906 to convince himself to sit back down. 

“I have an incoming message from Dr. Ryder if you wish to hear it, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS tells him eleven minutes after the appointment was supposed to start. 

Thank god. “Play it.”

“Morning, JAR!” Her voice is muffled in the recording. She’s got something in her mouth. She’s also in the most broken-down piece of shit in the city by the sounds of it, so not a cab. The subway, maybe? It should be a lot louder than that. “Tell Bucky I’m about fifteen minutes behind and that I’m very sorry. Oh—and tell him to pick the candle!”

His eyebrows lift in confused surprise. “I’m picking a candle?”

“Choosing a candle to burn is part of the daily routine of lab 5923. Dr. Ryder and I usually decide on one, but the option is left open for patients. You will find a box behind her desk; there is a wide array to select from.”

“You pick it together?” Bucky prods, the corner of his lips twitching as he gets back up to check for said box. 

“She enjoys having someone to banter with about them. Dr. Schuster doesn’t usually have anything to contribute to the topic. Dr. Combs only has so many opinions on the matter. He is not overly particular about the olfactory state of the lab.”

“Is Ava?” It’s getting easier to refer to her by her first name alone. It helps that it’s made her smile the handful of times he’s done it. 

“Not especially. I would call her enthusiastic. She finds the options comforting, and there are very few that she doesn’t enjoy.”

“No kidding,” Bucky mutters as he pulls open the top of a very large box. He smelled the thing long before he picked it up, and looking at what’s inside confirms everything the AI’s telling him. There are dozens of them in here, and most of them are unburned. Various shapes and gimmicky scent names stare back at him. Not a lot of Bath & Bodyworks, he’s noticing. 

The hippie is a small business aficionado. How utterly shocking. 

He pushes around the amassed jars for a few minutes. His mind files away a few options he wants to try for later if they don’t get used up on the days he won’t be here. Definitely before he finishes talking her out of demanding these appointments. He picks up one that claims to smell like cranberries and peppermint for a test sniff. 

Thanks to the combination, the barest hint of the ghost of a memory comes over him. One that whispers the name of his mother. This happens sometimes. A fragment that’s still hanging on by a thread will float by. They never have much context, not anything he can typically extrapolate on, infuriatingly enough. Just his mind taunting him that something should be there, but it isn’t. 

He picks that candle, and it doesn’t make him sad as he lights it. None of his pieced-together memories of the life he never got to finish do anymore. He takes them in stride and tries to enjoy what he can. 

That’s what Ma would have wanted.

—

Ava hip-checks the door to her office somewhere around 9:30. 

This is already shaping up to be a terrible second impression. All that grief she gave Bucky about leaving things in her capable hands, and now here she is, showing up late and half-showered to the appointment that’s supposed to finish acclimating him. 

“I am so sorry,” she rushes out, dumping her bag on the closest available surface. It ends up being one of the novelty end tables tucked between the consultation chairs. At least she finally took the one shaped like a leg home. “I completely overslept, and then I wanted to grab you something from my favorite bagel place—do you want one, by the way?” She waves a finger at her bag, then at Bucky, who watches her as she walks and talks her way to her desk. “They’re in that side pouch, the ones that have cream cheese are wrapped up separately. I didn’t know if you were a plain butter kind of New Yorker. Anyways, there was this mouth-breathing dickhead who—” 

She stops and takes a deep breath in when her over-taxed mind finally registers the smell around her. 

“Good morning,” he says from the chairs, amusement coloring his tone. 

She spins on her heel, her glasses jostling with the motion, chuckling softly. “Good morning, Sergeant. Sorry. This is what happens when you talk to me before the coffee finishes evening out in my bloodstream. Fantastic choice, by the way. What is that? It’s peppermint—something.”

“Peppermint and cranberries.” His lips pull up into a half-smile that absolutely sells her on the idea of him being a serial heartstopper in the 30s. “Advertised in what looked like a mushroom cloud.”

Ava’s chuckling turns into an outright bark of laughter as she pulls her work tablet from behind her keyboard. “Yeah. That sounds about right. One of the candle makers I buy from is an anarchist working out of a garage. Great stuff, even if you do have to listen to the most ass backwards view of free trade to get the guy to send you his stock. Good morning to you, too, JARVIS, now that I’m not babbling around a mouthful of food.”

“No need to worry; I’ve become very fluent in your language of scarfing,” JARVIS assures. 

“My mother would keel over if she heard you say that.” Ava waddles over to her latest patient, tablet in one hand and medkit in the other. She puts the kit down on the arm of his chair, in the same spot she put the scanner case last time. He looks much less nervous now, and she gives him a warm smile to encourage that. “I know you don’t want me talking your ear off, and the breakfast offer can wait until we’re done, so let’s get down to this.”

Bucky’s mouth opens. There’s a moment of hesitation before he says anything. She doesn’t try to rush him through it. “What’s the plan, doc?”

“Paige won’t be back from the field until later today at the earliest, so I don’t have anything new for you to test. I passed along your request for the field kit dimensions. She says making something that portable shouldn’t be a problem.” Ava taps on the black sleeve of his shirt. “How comfortable are you with the idea of using nanotech?”

“As in the tiny robots Tony’s always testing?”

“Mhmm.”

“For what? My neck?” He raises his hand to the general area of the port, and she hears him scratching at the fabric over it. “I don’t think it’s—I thought this kind of opening couldn’t be—”

“I don’t mean for closing it off,” she corrects quickly, wanting to avoid a misunderstanding that might get his hopes up. “I want to program a batch specifically for daily care of your implants. The port and your shoulder. Something you can keep in safe housing for use in the field. Now—I want to make sure you understand something upfront. This won’t change my professional opinion; you need to have a specialist looking at this on an extremely frequent basis. However, I would prefer it if you had the nanotech as a safety net. The more of this that we can automate for you, the better.”

“I can agree to that. I’m guessing the bug bots don’t come with a manual.”

Ava moves behind him, mostly to hide how the grumpy old man routine is making her grin from ear to ear. “They usually don’t need one. I’ll be making you a checklist to go over if that makes you feel better.”

“You don’t—that’s—” He hesitates again, making her stop before she can make contact with his neck. “You don’t have to keep... doing stuff. Like that. I’m alright with trusting the bug bots.”

Another piece of Ava Ryder’s heart breaks for Bucky Barnes. “That's great to hear. But, just so you know, I’m going to hand you a checklist anyways.”

“Alright.” His head barely nods; she’s guessing because he can feel her fingers hovering. The evaluations of his senses were so off the charts it set a new testing standard for SHIELD. “That’s—appreciated.”

“You don’t have to worry so much about the manners.” Pressing down with a disinfectant, she circles her thumb around the port, wanting to get it done before moving to his shoulder. That’s going to need a shirt removal. She leans down and shifts to a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m not reporting them back to Steve.”

“Don’t worry; my work wife will come to weasel it out of you or JARVIS all on his own.”

Ava giggles quietly, her eyes honed in on clearing the excess buildup. “You’re not having fun being married to Captain America?”

“Oodles,” he deadpans, making her giggles worsen.

She gives him a break from the small talk while she finishes working on his neck. At some point, she’ll need to put together a specialized blend for loosening up the scar tissue; the skin around it is dried to hell and back from years of sterile wipes. She doubts comfort has been much of a concern, and she’s not about to recommend putting generic lotion over it, but this is ridiculous. There’s no reason for him to live with pain like that.

“I don’t suppose a man from the 30s is going to appreciate being given a moisturizing routine.”

“Nat’s going to be thrilled.”

“She’s your work husband, I’m guessing?”

“She likes to act like it.” Bucky turns his head to glance back for a split second just as she leans forward to swap out for an ointment. The way his head jerks back into place lets her know he got an eyeful of cleavage on the journey. It perfectly mirrors how his eyes snapped up from her chest when he first walked in. She’s not exactly embarrassed about it, but she does feel bad watching him shift around nervously. “But I’m not dumb enough to argue. About that. With her.”

The awkward charm is starting to make her cheeks hurt. “Sounds like a reasonable choice. I hear arguing with Russian women isn’t a smart idea in general.”

“Not if you want to keep your limbs attached.”

“Is it too early for me to start asking for state secrets? Like, say, if the Winter Soldier happened to get his ass handed to him by a former commie?”

“I’m pretty sure she was still a commie the first time.”

“The first time?” Ava asks with excited delight, her hand pausing on his shoulder.

“There were a few run-ins. She’ll remember more of them.” Bucky grimaces with annoyance. “Worse, she’ll be willing to tell them to you.”

“Would you be willing to let me hear them?” she goads.

His shoulders lift with a strained sigh. “Sure, let’s call it willing.”

“You’ll have to remind me if I’m lucky enough to meet her.” She drums her finger on his mechanical shoulder. “Gonna need you to take this shirt off, superstar.”

“Off? Wait, what did you just—” Bucky shakes his head with a quiet huff of laughter. “I’ve got the arm covered.”

“I know, that’s the problem.”

“Alright, smartass. You know damn well what I meant. I took care of it before I came here; it wasn’t part of our deal.”

“Does gross puss leak out of it?”

She can see his eyes roll, even with his head only partially turned. “You know it does.”

“And is it attached to your brain?”

“Ava—really, I’ve got this.” His head turns all the way, and the smile comes back, in full force this time, and oh. Oh, she can absolutely believe that he broke half the hearts in Brooklyn during his reign of terror.

She leans down into his space, letting her arms rest on the back of his chair. “You know what I’ve got?”

His lips purse in resigned amusement. “Multiple medical degrees?”

“You betcha. They were stupid hard to earn, too, so I’d appreciate it if you could start taking that into account.”

“I’m not trying to dismiss them—”

“Just the expertise that they gave me.” When his smile turns guilty, she shifts her weight as naturally as she can to push her chest against her arms in compensation. She doesn’t miss the way he blinks a split second later. Such a gentleman. It almost makes her feel bad. “I don’t mind you arguing the point of your independence. I’m glad for it, Bucky. It tells me that you really want this to work. I hope you can start trusting that when I suggest against it, I’m doing it with your health in mind. Nothing more. You can tell me what you’re comfortable with from there.”

He stares at her like he’s in pain. For an almost uncomfortably long time. “I broke into your lockbox.”

Ava blinks at the sudden shift. “Okay. Wait—my what? Are you talking about the candle box? That doesn’t even have a lock—”

“Your stuff on the roof. You keep a SHEILD issue safe up there. On the table. I used my override.”

It takes a moment to piece together what he’s getting at. She’s been running late since she woke up on Paige’s couch at 7:50 something. The only thing in her bloodstream right now is caffeine; there was no time for a wake-and-bake. “Oh. Oh, oh, that’s just... it’s not locked locked; we don’t really care if anyone uses the stuff in it. We just needed something to put it in that the weather can’t get to.” She smiles at him as his shoulders relax. “You went to see our little corner?”

Bucky shrugs. “I was around.”

“Mhmm, I’m sure. And bouncing off the walls with Steve’s lockdown, no doubt. The faster you get that shirt off, the faster you and I can iron out a plan to get you back in the field. Work with me here, Barnes.”

Bucky stands up with a sigh, and his hands move to his shirt. He pauses while they cling to the bottom of it, his arms crossed. Once again, she doesn’t push him through his hesitation. “I don’t mind if you talk about things. Steve only said that shit about being direct to keep me from stalling my way out of this.”

Ava’s eyebrows pull in while she thinks over the words. “Is that the only thing he’s lied about? I don’t care if you two keep secrets, but you can’t bullshit about your mental health with me. I need to know what makes you uncomfortable; otherwise, I can’t do my job.”

“That’s all I can think of,” he assures her, and she believes him despite the wording. 

“In that case, you’re kind of stupid, full offense.”

It’s Bucky’s turn with the blinking. “Excuse me?”

“You signed yourself up for morning appointments, and you just gave me permission to talk your ear off. You’re an absolute moron; now take off that shirt so I can make sure your brain doesn’t melt.”

—

She has a pet cat named Oreo, of all fucking things. 

It’s hairless. And dumb as a box of rocks, according to her. The name comes from the huge black spots in its—pattern. He can’t exactly use the word fur. She was highly offended when he called the cat a ballsack while she was showing him her lock screen. He got smacked on the arm for the comment.

It’s not her first pet. She got it partly to mourn the snake she adopted in college, a rosy boa called Sayer that finally died at 32. She used the reptile as companionship and motivation to push through her first PhD. The one letting her work on his brain now. It was named after the lead character from her favorite medical movie, Awakenings. When Bucky mentioned that he’s never seen it, she made him swear up and down that he’ll text her his honest reactions if he ever dares to rip his own heart out with questionable ethics.

So now he’s got her number saved in his phone. It’s the 11th one he’s added. Two of them are therapists. None of the others are people outside of SHIELD. He’s pretty sure one of the therapists is a plant from Natasha, so maybe he should start counting them toward the SHIELD column.

There were only nine others over the course of his online dating attempts. None of them stayed on his phone for more than a month before getting deleted. He wasn’t about to let his therapist catch their names on his contact list.

Bucky switches the grape-flavored lollipop in his mouth over to his right cheek. Ava gave it to him. Bopped him right on the nose with one and then let him pick from an array of five like the blatant bribery it is. The good doctor smiled at him while she did it, too.

May it bring you back in good spirits and better health.

It’s the nicest way he’s ever been told to fuck off for being a grouch. It made him smile. Him. James Buchanan Barnes, in the year of 2018.

She’s.… Christ, calling the woman a handful in this day and age feels insulting. He’s not put off by it. Overwhelmed a little, maybe, but he gets the feeling she’s alright with him taking time to warm up to it. Hell, he gets the feeling that not much bothers her at all. It makes him envious. 

He likes the way she speaks. Not just the crazy and the swearing, though that’s its own comfort. There’s a—it sounds so stupid, but there’s a kind of music to it. She always talks in the same calm rhythm, despite the chaos usually found in her words. He didn’t notice the way it makes his foot stop bouncing until halfway through the appointment.

Bucky scowls. “Davis. Why am I looking at a lost signal?”

The level four analyst Steve’s been telling him to ease up on lately freezes in his swivel chair. His head turns, nervously searching the wall of security feeds. Bucky doesn’t offer up any help. “Sorry, sir, I can’t seem to spot which—”

“Third row from the top, eighth from the left. The one I’m supposed to be monitoring for an illegal exchange of nuclear materials, so if you wouldn’t mind—”

“Yes, sorry, restoring connection now. Apologies, Sergeant, I’ll—keep a closer eye on it.” The agent starts mumbling the rest of his intended sentence, mostly about how many he’s keeping track of, when he cuts himself off. His shoulders pull in a bit, almost chastised. It always takes people a minute to remember the super hearing.

He could let it hang. The feed is fixed; he can go back to staring at an empty lot without interruption.

“You’re doing fine.” Bucky feels bad because he’s having an unordinarily good day. That’s all it is. Nothing more. “Restructure your feed priorities. You can hand most of these off to JARVIS; that’s what he’s patched in for. Focus on the ones your gut doesn’t like.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll start on that now.” The words don’t even sound spiteful.

Bucky sits back against the executive bench of the Datacrux. The stiff leather creaks with the motion, the rigid frame under it keeping him grounded. He tilts his head from side to side, letting it crack and readjust incrementally. His neck doesn’t feel as tight as it should. When he touched it in Ava’s lab, the skin felt even softer than it did after her first round on him. He’s trying not to touch it now. He doesn’t want to irritate it. This is the best it’s felt in—

He doesn’t have a year, he realizes. He can’t remember the one he woke up to cybernetics in. He has no idea when his first taste of cyborg life was. There’s a vague lead, a number written out on paper to fill in the blanks of what’s been destroyed. An estimation anchored around the last day of his former life. But he doesn’t know.

At least you’re still breathing, the better angel in his mind coaxes.

Switching which leg is balanced on which knee, Bucky settles back into his work. It’s been six months since the last lead on his responsibility. There’s been no chatter from the known HYDRA cells, no underground protection contracts with suspiciously good track records hitting Natasha’s web, no suspicious Black Market transfers that scream safe house establishment, nothing. Wherever the Soldats are, they’re being kept under wraps. 

His hounds wouldn’t be able to be contained for anywhere near this long. They’re dead or sedated, no matter where they were smuggled. Otherwise, they’d have surfaced already.

Bucky tries not to think about what a life of not knowing will feel like. He doesn’t know if that’s worse than the idea of burying them. They’re certainly not staring down the barrel of a happy ending at this point. How do you mourn—a situation like that? He can’t even figure out how the hell he’s supposed to be fixing it.

Somewhere out there are the last ravaged pieces of a serum that never should have been made. It’s floating, cobbled together and left to rot, in the veins of men and women who didn’t know what they were signing up for. He remembers having to hold their shoulders down whenever the survival instinct kicked in during the first few injections. He remembers watching their faces as they screamed for a mercy no one in that facility was ever going to grant them. He remembers carrying the bodies of the ones that died in the night, over and over for months, all the way to the incinerator.

Bucky tosses the tablet in his lap off to a spot next to his leg out of disgust. His eyes shut, and his hands come up to rub them hard enough to hurt. He needs sleep. Good, honest to god, medication-induced sleep. He hates relying on those damn pills—it’s not as if they help the other half of his problem, anyhow. Falling asleep is only the start of it. The real kicker is staying unconscious, and nothing he can find, even behind the counter, is going to work on his system for that long.

He needs it, though. It’s been weeks since he got more than a handful of hours at a time. Months since he slept for longer than eight. Steve always talks about crashing for ten at a time after an extended mission, and it makes him want to punch his best friend’s lights out. He’ll never say that out loud, of course, but god. If fucking only.

None of his anger toward Steve ever feels fair. The guy had the world’s worst life before the serum, and he’ll bare his teeth at anyone who tries guilting the captain out of the notion. None of them understand what kind of fresh hell it was being Steve Rogers, and all his undying spirit, while trapped in a body with ten billion health issues. If ever there was someone who earned the responsibility of that serum, it’s him, and Bucky’s damn proud of him for it. He spends his days trying to live up to it himself.

He looks over at the back of the analyst with a guilty expression. People used to dismiss Steve the same way he dismisses people now, whenever the anger simmers. 

“Davis, pull up your priority flags.”

The level four glances back nervously, then clears his throat and refocuses on his terminal. “It’s alright, sir, I’m working on sorting them now—”

“I know. That’s what we’ll be going over.”

“I—” Davis hesitates for a long moment. Bucky stares at the back of his head. “Sergeant Barnes, I’m very sorry about the—”

“This isn’t a reprimand.” Bucky clears his own throat, trying to knock the aggression out of his tone. It’s. A lot more difficult than he was expecting. “You’re new here, so I’m gonna give you the crash course. I’m in here a lot, at all hours. You won’t get a heads-up about it; I’m just going to show up. When I do, there are certain hotspots I’m going to need you to keep focused on. They’re not going to be tied to any active case. You’re not going to be able to tell which ones I need. I’m going to tell you what’s already on my radar, and you can establish your own categories from there. I’ll tell you what else I need you to add as it comes up.”

“Oh.” A little hope is entering the analyst’s tone. “Yeah, that—you know, that sounds like what I do for Romanoff already.”

Bucky frowns. The hell it does. She has exactly three people on the face of this Earth that she trusts to handle something like this for her. He’s willing to do it for convenience, and because he doesn’t give a shit what SHEILD sees him prioritize. He worked very hard to not give a shit about it, too. But Natasha doesn’t work like that; she’s very particular about her web of information—

His face goes completely slack as the connection finally happens in his mind. He’s going to kill her. No—actually. He’s never going to bring it up, ever, and they’re both going to die before a word ever gets said about it.

That’s just how their brand of family works.

“Yeah. Exactly like how Romanoff has you do it. Pull up her file structure; let’s go over what I’ll need you to change for my end.”

—

“Bitch! It feels like I haven’t hugged you in a year!”

It’s the only warning Ava gets before she’s tackled from behind. She braces her hands on the engineering bench in front of her, barely catching herself from crashing into it. “Two weeks and three days, but who’s counting? How was the flight home, whore?”

Paige leaves a loud, sloppy smooch on her left temple before backing away to let her up from the attack. “That part was fine—it was the team I got paired with, ugh. You’d have hated the guy runnin’ it.”

“How bad are we talking?”

“Eh, your typical good’ ol boy. Mister my way or the highway, with an ego the size’a the fuckin’ Potomac to match. You know the type. Spent the whole mission criticizin’ my tech.”

She looks over at her in surprised confusion. Paige taking shit from other agents is nothing new; that comes with the territory of her personality and most people’s assumptions. Her work is usually the one thing they leave alone. “How critical are we talking?”

“That was the thing—it was the dumb kind. The kind that could’a been avoided if he’d maybe RTFM.”

“And he made it your problem?”

“Over and over. Every ten minutes, it was—” Paige shimmies her upper body dramatically, her voice going low and gravelly. “Why can’t my AIO do this? How do I make it do that? Rogers’ team gets the reliable gear; why are we always stuck with the second rate?”

“He said that to your face?” Ava’s about ready to march through the tower to find the prick herself.

“Not that last one. That was to his buddy when the dipstick thought his comm was off. I got a half-baked publicist apology over it, and I’m pretty sure he only did it to save face in front of the team for leavin’ the mic open.”

“Report his ass.”

Paige waves a hand dismissively, then dumps her go-bag unceremoniously on the workbench. “I ain’t gon’ waste my time. I’ll let him hang his own noose; I’m sure he’ll get around to it with that attitude. Oh! I’ve got a mock-up for your pretty boy.”

Ava smiles, tossing one of her best friend’s rolls of duct tape between her hands. “I didn’t say he was pretty.”

“Puh-lease. You texted about his hair.”

“With the amount of shit man-buns have taken, it was surprising to see on a guy from a less than accepting decade.”

“You only notice stuff like that when you’re lookin’.” Paige tips her head forward, letting her heart-shaped sunglasses fall to the end of her nose. Her eyebrows waggle enthusiastically. “Is he as big as Rogers? I can never tell in the press photos with him always loomin’ like a gargoyle.”

The smile turns deviously smug. “He’s a little smaller than your not-so-secret admirer. You gotta figure that’s expected without the Vita Radiation.”

Paige reaches out to shove at her shoulder. “I don’t think Rogers has really nailed down what modern flirtin’ is yet. Ain’t fair to pin that on the guy. He’s so sweet! And I give him art projects! And anyhow, he rushes outta here like his ass is on fire most of the time—”

“It’s so weird how that happens whenever your dad shows up to hang out.”

She gets a very unimpressed look in response. “You’re readin’ int’a things.”

Leaning in close, Ava squints and whispers, “You’re being oblivious.” She backs up, her smugness returning. “So, I take it our friendship never comes up while you’re giving the captain art projects.”

“I... hmm. Not that I can remember. Why?” Paige looks over suddenly, then back at the bag she’s unloading with more than her usual level of interest. “Did he bring me up durin’ the visit?”

The glitter-sniffing demon not being allowed to communicate with her has been utter hell for two weeks and three days. But it comes with the upside of getting to drop this bomb on her all at once. “No, but I brought you up during Bucky’s first visit. That’s when Rogers realized he’d read your best friend the riot act the week before.”

Paige’s eyes go saucer wide. “You’re kiddin’. You got chewed out by America’s Sweetheart?”

“Funny enough, I called him the same thing while he was huffing and puffing in my office.”

“What the hell happened while I was gone? Did—” Her head swivels around, checking who’s around them. “Did? Y’know?”

Ava shakes her head, then hikes herself up to sit on the workbench next to the bag. “Nothing like that. Turns out he was going for a trial run, trying to see how well I hold up against a bad episode. Stormed into my office, playing up the asshole captain routine just to see what I’d do. Apparently, Tony set him up for it by not telling him about my VA work. He let out the hot air the second I called him on it. He’s pretty cute when he’s blushing, by the way.”

“Oh, tell me about it,” Paige mumbles happily, proving the accusation of obliviousness entirely right.

“The blush or the huffing?”

“I already know about the blushin’, even if I am ready to hear it again. But over dinner tonight. What’re we thinkin’?”

“You’re the one who’s been living off MREs for two weeks. What are you in the mood for?”

“Fuck, that’s a great question. Indian, definitely. No—wait! Sc-ratch that! I want Vietnamese. Actually, I want both.”

“Take-out picnic, got it.”

“And Italian donuts.”

“Okay, but I’m bringing half the order to work tomorrow. They’ll get stale if you pull an all-nighter to catch up.”

“Fiiine. Take my victory donuts to the masses, y’dirty Marxist. Lemme show ya what I worked on for Barnes before I forget.”

The field case she’s designed is cylindrical and shorter than the phones SHEILD issues most of their agents. Definitely something he’s going to be able to carry around with ease. The applicators that hook to the interior are simplistic and utilitarian. They’re entirely mechanical, with no chance of an EMP being able to disable them—a request from the Sergeant himself. 

“Tony says I can requisition some nannies whenever—I just gotta get your signature on the form since they’re medical grade.”

Ava tosses an olive from the jar she keeps stashed in Paige’s mini-fridge into the air. She catches it in her mouth on the first try for once. “You have one filled out already? I can sign it now; I know you like putzing around with them for a few days ahead of time.”

“Eh, it’s a standard cleaner tag; I’m not gon’ sweat it. I know you’re all worried about his brainstem and whatnot—”

“That’s usually part of my job description, yeah.”

“—but I feel like sterile’s sterile. Ain’t no way I can make the man cleaner than clean, y’know? Now, if you wanna talk settin’ ’em up for emergency maintenance, that’s a different story—”

“Your not-crush just walked into engineering,” Ava interrupts lowly, wanting to avoid the enhanced hearing even from way the hell over here.

In the most conspicuous way imaginable, Paige whips her head around to stare directly at the bay’s front entrance. In a rival amount of obviousness, Captain Rogers slowly works his way through the amassed benches, his gaze landing everywhere but Paige’s station. 

Ava’s eyes roll so hard it’s physically painful. It’s been one thing hearing Paige talk about getting drop-in visits from the super soldier who just so happens to enjoy the blueprints framed over her workbench. It’s another to see it play out in person. 

“He’s prob’ly here to check on the kit for Barnes,” Paige whispers back, tugging off her novelty shades.

“Yeah, that’s definitely why he won’t look at you right now—”

“He’s takin’ in the work goin’ on. He’s a curious guy, you know that—”

“And why he’s walking slow enough to trip over his own feet.”

“He’s admirin’ the—”

“He’s working up the nerve—”

“If you don’t fuck off with that, you lunatic—”

“Alright, now you’re being hopeless on purpose—”

“Good afternoon, Ms. Findley. I hope the trip was—oh.” Steve stops dead in his tracks, three feet from Paige’s farthest desk, his eyes finally landing on Ava. He smiles sheepishly. “Hi there, Dr. Ryder.”

Her grin feels positively carnivorous. “Hello, Steve. Come to welcome home our resident space cadet?”

“Hiya, Rogers,” Paige responds, turning with a smile almost as bashful as the captains. She spins back around, busying herself with the mess of wiring she’s pulled from her bag. “Don’t pay her any mind; she’s in a mood.”

“Something happen with the appointment today?” The concern that immediately surfaces knocks some of the teasing out of Ava. 

Some.

“No, Bucky played nice, I promise. I even brought him bagels to make up for being a half-hour late. Come to think of it, that’s probably what made me a half-hour late.”

Steve’s eyes go a bit wider, his smile softening. “You two had breakfast together?”

“I ate mine in the car. He took his with him. But I like to think we did so in spirit.” Her head tilts to the side innocently, refusing to let him off the hook. “So. What brings you to engineering?”

His hand comes up to the back of his neck, his expression getting… close to nonchalant. “I had some time on my hands—don’t wanna run off on a mission with Buck being a grump about medical orders; he might sneak out. Take your time with that, by the way. It’s impossible to convince the guy to take a day off. You’d be doing him a favor if you dragged your feet a little more.”

Using a best friend for deflection is a social skill Ava mastered years ago. He’s going to have to try a lot harder. “Who wouldn’t want to kill time in engineering? The wrench monkeys get to have all the fun. Maybe you should bring Bucky next time—”

“Oh, that’s—you know, I don’t think that’d be a real—he’s very particular about where he—I think maybe—”

“I think the sergeant would love to meet you,” Ava tells Paige, who’s biting back a grin with her head pointed firmly down at her workbench. “I was telling him some stories about you this morning. I think he might share a few of his own with some time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Paige offers, still not looking up.

Steve lets out a nervous chuckle. “That’s—yeah, it’d—it could help out with his attempts to be social, and—you know. Hey, how was the mission, by the way? I forgot to finish asking.”

“It went just fine.” Paige shrugs, and that’s when it clicks for Ava why she was willing to jump topics so fast. Agent Dickhead really did hurt her feelings.

“Towanda,” Ava says plainly, calmly.

Her best friend’s eyes lift to hers. They stare at each other for a long moment. Paige goes through a silent argument that it’s not worth it; Ava silently insists that it very much is. It all happens through shifting eyebrows.

After a moment, Paige’s shoulders deflate, and she looks back at her work with a sigh. “You do it.”

Looking back up at a confused Steve, Ava crosses her arms over her chest. “You’ve got a real cunt running one of your away teams.”

“Oh, sweet lord,” Paige groans, her head falling into her hands with her elbows braced on the workbench. 

The captain’s eyebrows go for his hairline. “I’m sorry—I have a—I’m going to need a few more details.” He shifts his attention to Paige’s back, and his expression gets worried. “Did something happen? Who was your lead? JARVIS, can you grab me the associated reports on Ms. Findley’s latest away mission—”

“You don’t have’ta do that—“she tries to assure, her head coming up with blazing red cheeks. She hates confrontation. Absolutely despises it. 

Ava used to avoid it. She doesn’t bother much these days. “Actually, your name got thrown into the mix, Captain.” 

“Heeere we go.” Paige takes a deep breath in.

“Thrown into the mix of what?” Steve’s tone is shifting into the sub-zero range. 

“I’m not sure what Agent Fuckwad’s name is, but apparently, the guy thinks it’s not his job to understand his equipment. He also thinks it’s super cool to talk shit about the engineer that designed what he can’t wrap his head around. On an open comm. With her on the other end.”

“I have the mission data ready for transfer to your private feed, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS reports in. Ava doesn’t miss the smugness sitting in his tone, making her smile. She’s betting the AI has been fuming over this in his own way. He’s been protective of Paige ever since her first all-nighters in engineering.

There’s a boiling rage sitting in Steve’s eyes, one that’s rising by the second. When he steps up to tap the side of Paige’s arm with the back of his hand, it’s entirely held back from his voice. “Are you alright with me handling this?”

It’s Ava’s turn to raise her eyebrows in surprise. Extremely pleasant surprise.

“I—oh, fuck me runnin’.” Paige lifts her hand to scrub at her face. “Look, Rogers, I’m not tryin’ to get anyone in trouble here—”

“There are ways to go about this without leaving you holding the bag from a reputation standpoint. If the guy’s a—a... I tried, I’m sorry, I can’t get the word out—the point is, I can handle this in a way that doesn’t blow back on you.”

“Let him do it for the other people the dickwad is going to end up being a cunt to,” Ava suggests helpfully. 

“Exactly,” Steve agrees easily. 

Paige groans, shifting her weight back and forth. Finally, she nods with an uneasy sigh. “Alright. But—maybe just have it be somethin’ found from the logs? I really don’t wanna write up a—”

“Your name won’t come up. I’ll take care of it.”

Ava smiles, tossing another olive to catch in her mouth.

—

September 20th, 2015

Sam balances the plate of sliced sough dough and fresh fruit on top of a can of grape Fanta. He keeps his eyes locked on the way it wobbles back and forth as he makes his way down the hallway of the rented house. Propping the bundle of still-warm linens on his hip, he shimmies his hand off them enough to grab at the handle to Sergeant Miserable’s room.

The sack of personified despair is exactly where they last left him, hunched in on himself in the corner of the room. The pile of blankets under him used to be on the perfectly nice bed sitting in front of the window. The one with an unbelievable view of Finland’s countryside hidden behind tightly drawn curtains.

Their resident vampire, un-fucking-surprisingly, fled from it as fast as he could. Steve’s been grumbling about stealing the curtains while he’s asleep just to force the guy to look out the window on the way to the john.

Sam’s decided to start handling the food deliveries alone. It’s time to start pushing, even if Steve’s not entirely ready for it.

Bucky watches him move through the room, never saying a word. Not even when the plate of food gets put on the nightstand next to the bed, where they always leave it. He leaves them empty outside the door at night, so they know he’s actually eating. Poor bastard never looks angry, more just anguished. 

Sam sits on the side of the bed slowly, as gently as he can. He keeps his posture relaxed, his expression passive, and looks up at the newly freed prisoner of war. “You and I gotta come to an understanding on somethin’.”

Bucky’s eyes start out mostly hidden, thanks to the angle of his head. The shadows consume them entirely as his eyebrows come down. “What.”

One-word answer. That’s good. It’s a verbal day. “We gotta figure out where we’re at. Steve is too close. You’re gonna need someone pushing you on things he can’t. Things you need help with.” 

It’s not a subject he’s brought up with Steve. Being blunt feels like the better option here. He’s guessing the captain’s appeasement is starting to grate on nerves going through this much culture shock. Plus, there’s no pep-talk like a military pep-talk. 

“Do I strike you as an invalid?”

“You might not wanna—we’ll work on that. Point is, you need to start gettin’ comfortable with the new reality. Suck it up, Buttercup, the sky didn’t actually fall. The world’s still spinnin’. None of the big baddies who still know about you have the juice to catch you—”

“No, they don’t,” he confirms aggressively.

Sam rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever, you’re huge and scary. You’re also an idiot sitting around wasting a full pardon. No one’s expecting you to start doing a press circuit. If you wanna walk off into the sunset and go find a picket fence to park your Transylvania routine behind, we’ll help you pack and send you postcards. If you wanna do what Steve did and pick up a life in SHEILD, let’s get you fitted in some Kevlar and find you a therapist. But let’s get you outta this fuckin’ room.”

Bucky’s eyebrows stay firmly set, keeping his eyes shrouded. “Why.”

“Oh my god, could you be more dramatic? Like, shit, if you really tried?” He stands up from the bed, headed for the door, his eyes rolling again. “You wanna know why? Because that’s what people do, Bucky. They hit the ground, they figure out if they’re still breathing, and then they get back up to fix what broke. You keep going for the ones who didn’t survive the landing; because they’d hate your guts if you laid down and died over them. Your friend Steve can tell you all about that if you ever feel like giving the man the time of day. No one’s asking you to do this alone.” 

Sam stops at the door, raising one finger and pointing it back accusingly. “You know what— I’m asking you to go outside long enough for a beer in three days. Besides that, it’s up to you how slow you wanna take this.”

“What’s in three days?” The comment is thrown out on a grumble, right when Sam’s nearly got the door closed.

“My birthday, asshole. I’d like to spend it somewhere outside of this house. And, believe it or not, I’d like you to be there.”

—author end notes—

idk abt other ppls trauma foods, but man when im Goin Through Shit all i can ever stomach is bread and bubbles so, for sure inflicted that on bucko. plums i feel like are His to pick up, y'know?

im putting the idiots in my own couples counseling since im robbing bucky of his best FATWS moment so far (yes it is the wrong about me line ty for asking). i also want it on record that grammarly tried to get me to change "the 30s" to "his 30s" and i had to be like no actually i just jacked our leading man from the restricted section of the smithsonian, thanks tho babe

and now you've met paige!! the storm in a bottle herself!! she gonna smooch the shit outta stevie. gonna try to do our babe peggy proud and have her knock that dweeb off his toes at every turn (not hard). still no clue if ill do a spin-off series for them since they're just background here, but i do know im doing some kinktober stuff for them. they get 10 of the days so far (yeah. yeah, its gonna be 4some territory in the last few days, but have no fear, the main fic((s? series maybe? look man im makin a plan as we go. all i know right now is good space and kinktober)) will stay monogamy focused). so, fans of super mega dirty steve, might wanna Check Back Later for those posts 🥰

[tibialtybalt]

Anyway. The desert rules sjdvhd

[inthestars011]

what it’s like falling in love with her🦋🥺❤️

(Venus !!)❤️❤️ I did this fast so I apologize for grammar spelling mistakes xox

(I’m doing this by thinking of my friends and their methods or way of acting in romantic relationships however I will make another one doing in love with him and will touch on men with all the venuses that I’ve personally been in love with to add an even more personal touch xox)

Aries- Kisses that are short but kill you in the 5 seconds they last. Gives you forever in a minute. Always leaves you wanting more and that breaks you but fills you simultaneously. She knows that. She’s aware of her presence and that it feels like burning in all the right places. She seems naive and pure at soul, but shes well aware of the danger she holds in her hands and she uses it to her advantage. She loves the wanting, the chasing. She lives for the thrill, the game. She will run away before you can dispose of her heart and she might not let you see those broken parts but might just show a side that’s much funner, when it gets serious she may just become a runner. Sometimes, she is nothing but a machine running on fumes of lust expelling and leaving without a trace whenever she must. Some day she may realize that love might just be worth it, and that she really deserves it. But it still must consist of passion, fireworks, and all, if you plan on keeping her for the long haul.

Taurus Venus- she doesn’t want you to know she is soft, as she’s shown that side before, to many people she has lost. She’s not ready for change so her walls are built high, not even broken open by heavy ocean tides. Deep down she is melting, she is all love at the core. Filled with romance and god, so much more. She wants someone to truly share this with, but forever is all she ever asked for. If you cannot give her that she’ll retreat, become stubborn unable to make two ends meet. she might be slow at first to show her passion, she may show it through a touch that inhibits so much love. there’s nothing better than the comfort of her hug. She will heal all of you through a softness that you didnt think exists. She’s the definition of wife material, someone you’ll forever miss.

Gemini Venus- they describe her as flakey and that’s not always the case. There’s so many sides to her like differing tulips in a vase. I think she likes love but can find it in so many places, I think she can find love amongst so many faces. Maybe it’ll take a while for her to find her forever, but I do think deep down she does want forever. She won’t show all this meaning right off the jump. She’ll show something more innocent, naive and young. She is cute and pure, that, we are sure. She hides such greatness behind that coy smile, and the right person has to detect that, to truly find that. Maybe that’ll take a while. but that person will come that realizes shes more than just fun, she is the moon, just as much as she is the sun. She is eccentric and wildly funny. Her love feels like flying which is freeing but, a little terrifying, honey! It sometimes feels like, at any moment, she might let go, leaving one freezing in the December snow. Once it is true love, she is just as comforting as she is adventurous, she’ll give the whole world and expect nothing in return. Her love comes in teachings and there’s something we all can learn, from the glimmer in her eyes to her childlike hope. if she is truly in love, you will know.

Cancer Venus- her love feels just like home. The mom or dad you never had, and to play that role, she’s probably glad. every touch is enveloped with so much care. You can still smell the sea within her hair. She might be the mother or the baby or maybe even both, she always did help you unfold. When you think of her, you think of making out in your childhood bedroom, you think of the clinginess she exuded, maybe the eternal doom. The moods were never your favourite but you learned to savour it. You accepted every side of her maybe even the annoying parts too. She was your special seashell in the deep ocean blue, her love was nothing but true.

Leo Venus- Golden shimmers from above, a dramatic flair when it came to love. It was always, all show, all beauty, nothing below. Sometimes that was beautiful, sometimes you hated it. There was no in between, she served melodrama for breakfast lunch and dinner and you ate it up, there was no room for desert. Her love was like light shows and the strips of Las Vegas, entrancing but maybe too much at times. there was some innate programming she had that made her feel like she was never enough, but that she was, that she was. She was the big romantic gesture, love was extravagant and so was she. She wanted a love as she saw on the screens, the one that filled her childhood dreams. It was hard to live up to her firey passions, but it was worth it because she’d give you so much in return. She would love you till her flicker would burn out and she was all just heavy smoke and she’d continue loving you in the darkness. They called her the lion for a reason, her loyalty was fierce but her wrath was even fiercer. Her love was so lush, yet, the anger would defeat her.

Virgo Venus- Pure and awkward. The angel that was too good for you, the one that made you dream of laying and praying beside her feet. Not because her flirting skills were smooth and effortless, not because of lusty bedroom eyes, but because of the sweetness that filled her tired sighs. You could see that she wanted something real and that, pursuing maybe wasn’t her strong point, but you would do that for her. Once you got to know her, you unpeeled every layer and found more and more gold underneath, it scared her to show it, but her love grew fonder and she did it more confidently as time went on. Time is what grew our love and our passion, and it was as real as it could ever be. It was divination, it was serving a higher purpose. It was husband and wife, Adam and Eve, something so religious, something so prestiged. It may have seemed regular classic or boring. But to us it felt like our own little story. You got to know a bit more everyday and the excitement of that never did go away. I thank you for fixing all my brokenness even if it was slowly and surely, I thank you for helping me change. You are the only god to which I would pray to, the only holy ness that made the sadness go away.

Libra Venus- She’ll scare the hell out of you with her words. They’ll fall out of her mouth effortlessly, soft flower buds, blooming. She knows just what to say and she holds so much power in that. Her charm and her brilliance got you down on your knees, just a sentence, is all that it takes. Kisses sweet like strawberry shakes. But before you know it she doesn’t love you anymore, it was just a fantasy she had, merely a mirage. It wasn’t real but to you it was and it’s confusing and it’s making you insane. She didn’t mean to cause any pain, she is a fairy in the garden bouncing from tree to tree ever so lightly, taking what she can get and moving on to what’s meant for her. And maybe that wasn’t you. Maybe that’s ok. Because she’ll find someone who makes her heart beat from their touch and their words, someone that doesn’t make her want to create an imaginary world. Someone who just is pure beauty to her, someone who is nothing but real true love. Something more down to earth and better than the heavens up above. She will find it. And she will never let go.

Scorpio Venus- the tension that she holds. “Are we angry at eachother or are we so in love we can’t breathe?”She always made you feel both. Sometimes you thrived off of it, sometimes it made you seasick. She bit your lip and made it bleed as she pulled you in for your final kiss. She cried a little as she left. There was softness in her dark facade there was something light and airy. You only could touch it for a second before it slipped back underneath the oily meSs. The chaos was exciting and her loyalty was meaningful. Her jealously could kill and that you’ve seen. You smelled danger from a mile away on her shirt and you gravitated towards it for some reason. She’ll make her scar and the slice will hurt your skin, but you’ll forever want to bleed. She is what you need.

Sagittarius Venus- with her, love wasn’t hard. No, she made you think it was easy. It was giggles and being best friends. It was passionate make outs and spontaneous adventures. Love is all well and fun. Love is the horizon, a new dawn, abeautiful beginning. But sometimes it had to end. Sometimes she would run free and realize “this isn’t for me.” And sometimes she would come back as if nothing happened. It seemed like dissapearjng but to her it was just living out her honest truth. She wouldn’t wanna stay if what you felt for her wasn’t the same as what she felt for you. when it’s good it’s all passion, it’s perhaps not romantic but casual and fun. it’s two love birds on the run. Don’t know where they are going but they’re together and isn’t that what matters? They don’t know that eventually both their hearts might shatter. She loves the unpredictable and will revel in it with you, images of soaking your hands in waterfalls and late night rendezvous.

Capricorn- Her love is timid and perhaps bitter, but once she falls in love she’ll be unsure what hit her. She may laugh at romance till she is in the dream herself, she’ll then learn to fall in love with love itself. It takes a lot to serenade this girl, and she wants nothing less than what is perfect and no one can deny that she deserves it. She showed true commitment and loyalty and someone treated her like a joke and left her broken without a glint of hope. She is now careful in love and can you really blame her? But once you tear those walls down it’s impossible to tame her. She’ll want kisses in public and cuddles by the fire, she’ll believe that you are more than worthwhile. Yes it may take a while to break down the stones that she’s pilled in front of her heart, she will be more like concrete, but a soft touch and a smile that means well might just turn her into fragile glass, into running water. If you bash those walls down with steely swords and fight the dragons that protect her pretty soul than she might just believe in you, you might just help her believe in love again, and ultimately, she might believe in herself.

Aquarius- She will confuse you as she shape shifts into whatever he pleases. Sometimes, she is one full of romance and love and she gives you summer heat and sweet icecream. But sometimes the sunshine is fleeting, she is cold and detached and wants to be nothing more than friends. She is full of surprises and contradictions. She loves in a way that is strange but captivates you, you always want to know more. She is a good and loyal friend, funny and filled with adventures and a good wit. She is awkward and unsure of how to pursue true love though she does want it. deep inside she’ll never admit it, no, those feelings she hides. She’ll pull you in, and there you are falling in her wishing well, unable to climb back out and sometimes you can surround yourself in her water and drown in feelings but sometimes it’s empty and vacant, depressing, sometimes she is an endless drought. She’ll make you love her so much it terrifies you but she’s like electricity in your veins, absolutely addicting.

Pisces- She is the girl with eyes full of stars staring at you across the crowded room with a shy smile. She will not approach you but instead let herself escape to a dream in which you are the main role, she will be able to taste your lips, to smell your cologne even as she is not near you, even when she’s lying in bed at home. She will wish for you to come and save her from herself and she wishes you are as good as her heart makes you up to be, she wishes when you finally come and love her that you will never leave, because when she is abandoned, she is still left with those empty dreams. And the fantasies do haunt her, the memory of your soft kiss will taunt her. I hope for your sake you live up to what she dreamt you to be, otherwise she may be surprised, heartbroken, and she will not hesitate to leave. To chase some perfect crystallized image that dances in her head, she’ll cry and scream when people tell her Prince Charming simply does not exist, but she still believes all her past lovers were simply frogs she had to kiss and that she still awaits her soulmate. All this love and lust is only fictious for she is just the girl with eyes full of stars staring at you across the crowded room with a shy smile. Do approach her.

[benjaminkido]

Wrote this about a a year or so ago, should I finish it?

He sees all within his path

Past, present, future

Not many have been able to undermine his ability

Realities play in his head like songs, each predictable. Verse, chorus, bridge, end.

He was waiting for the right tune.

There was a song he saw that he could not ignore

The tune could not shake him

He knew that this had to play out, no skipping, no saving for later.

He had to cross paths with the Seeker of Limitless Passion

The seeker would not give up on his quest. His love almost infinite, only relenting to the fact that it could not be returned fully. The seeker was granted many abilities to achieve his goal. The voice of a siren, the eyes of a hawk, the legs of a gazelle, all arranged and aligned to allow him to travel great distances, impress those who may have been worthy, and to find any flaw that would be unacceptable. The seeker knew not of the future like the Ruler did, but knew that his goal would be achieved through faith.

The seeker left the land he called home for his quest was not over. It was a xcx dparadise. Water and fruit was abundant. Riches were at his disposal for the man the seeker last embraced was a King. He reigned over swaths of land filled with gold, silver, and people of many talents. The king was grateful for his bounty and ruled fairly. Thus the flaw came for when his love for his people wained against his love for

the seeker, it caused the king to view his lands and people as possessions and not responsibilities. The seeker knew that the king's love was not limitless for he could forsake his own people for him. In the dead of night, under the three moons that race across the sky like shooting stars, he fled. He was not fearful of the King's wrath for he knew that he would place his heart back unto his people and that vengeance was not a trait of his now former love. He traversed the barren desert that extended for miles and miles trying to escape the heartbreak and move onto his true mate. Then he is suddenly stopped in his tracks. A figure approaches and strikes him with a feeling he has yet to grasp. The seeker could not move, for he knew this figure was important. The ruler was coming into view, and the seeker was drawn into his aura. The ruler stopped feet away from the seeker, his hands clasped together and robes fluttering across the landscape like an apparition, making him seem all the more mystical, intriguing.

The ruler gestured calmy and spoke

"I know who you are and what you need. I come bringing just that" the Ruler said with a reassuring smile.

"Who are you? What brings you to me and makes you this confident that you are what you say you are" the seeker says inquisitively, still frozen

"I am a Ruler, unlike the one you are fleeing now"

The seeker is now even more mystified by this creature that has appeared in front of him. The red robes almost envelope all of his line of sight. He stands in front of him with a confidence that he cannot describe. He does not understand how he knows him, but his instinct tells him to listen more, he is no threat. His skin smooth like silk, almost blending in with the sands surrounding them both. His eyes were like topaz surrounded by onyx, nothing like he had ever seen. The seeker is not easily impressed, yet He wanted to know what this ruler has that the last one didnt.

"What land do you rule? If you are what you say, where are your armies? Surely you come to take the King's most prized possessions, including me." Says the seeker, trying to match the Ruler's confidence.

"I rule destiny, my kingdom is not physical, yet it takes form with every second that passes and comes. I sense your hesitation, and understand your hearts journey. I've come only for you and do not see you as a possession, but as a companion."

"Destiny?" The seeker scoffs.

"Riddles are futile, I see past flowery words and phrases. How do you know I flee my King and what I seek?"

"You are the Seeker of Limitless Passion. Your heart cannot fully love if you cannot find one who loves equally like you. You flee your King as his love was only enough for you and not his people. I'm here first to assure you that you have made the right decision, and second to give you the love you seek." Says the ruler, with a voice that nearly weakens the seeker. The ruler does have a way with words, he doesn't want to give away too much, but just enough to sway the seeker into his understanding.

"Are you a spy? A medium? How do you know this"

"I am the Ruler of Cosmic Vision." He gives in to the seeker

"I have already seen the effect you will have on me and I, you. I have seen all realities with you and know that you will be mine, and I yours. Can I be any clearer?" The ruler says with a smile that's returned by the Seeker.

"I'm not convinced" the seeker says, testing the ruler to see if he can predict his next move

"You plan to test my strengths, ok" the ruler says, and in an instant he is only a breath away from the seeker

The seeker turns to run the opposite direction as he never seen anyone move like this. He no longer feels safe and begins to run. He turns back after 10 strides and the Ruler never leaves where he stood. When he turns back around the Ruler grabs him by his waist, the momentum of his run throwing his lips onto his. At this moment the seeker sees everything. The Ruler of Cosmic Vision has existed since the beginning. There have been many forms of him, his current lasting the longest. The seeker sees a lifetime a second and is so overwhelmed everything goes black. The seeker awakes to a beautiful melody. He remembers everything in an instant and leaps from the bed he lays. His clothes had been changed. He turns and sees a harp taller than 3 men, playing on it's own as if an invisible giant had been playing. The room is bathed in indigo, canary, and rouge, like the new clothes he wears. The fabric felt like the clouds he touched in his first home on the peaks of the greatest ranges in the land. He too much didnt care for the colors, but he felt a strange peace where he was. Reality kicks in.

"I know not where I am or who this man is to keep me like this" the seeker ponders to himself

"There must me truth to him for no man could move like he does, but why me? He could have anyone. What makes my goal so important if he can see all realities and all lifetimes?"

"It is because my destiny cannot avoid yours" says the ruler.

This time he has a piece of fabric that completely encases him, showing every curve and angle of his frame. The same shades of indigo, rouge and canary are splayed across his body. All that is exposed is his face, his hair, and his hands and feet. He had locs that cascaded down to his knees and his eyes were more piercing than ever.

Again checking back into reality the seeker exclaims

"Is this how you show love? Stealing me away like a thief in the night? What is this trickery you do. How do instruments play without hands? What do..." the seeker is cut off by the ruler who again is in front of him without taking a step..

"You wanted to be stolen. You seek limitless passion and I have it for you here in my home. Your heart is destined to belong to me. It's like a song I cannot stop hearing. This melody, is my love for you. I made this to represent what you have, are and will be to me, for you have strummed me long before you could lay one finger on me. This reality, this life, is what you have already asked for and been given, and I cannot avoid this any longer, and neither should you"

The seeker cannot understand.

"I believe what you are now, but why now, if you love me like you say, why allow me to lie with the King? With the Hunter? With the Sorceress?"

"Would you know what you seek had u not been with them? I cannot interfere with what you are meant to experience, only guide you to what you are deserved" the ruler says, arms open showing the seeker the true expanse of his realm.

"Your treasures mean nothing to me for it is the heart that I cherish more than anything else"

"My heart is where you are my love"

The seeker is frozen. What does he mean? He thinks to himself

"The King took you for he knew you would flee him. He poisoned you and knew that the harder you ran, the faster you would perish" says the ruler, with a tear trickling down his face"

"You are not dead, yet you are not alive in the physical realm"

"BLASPHEMY!!!!" The seeker screams. This is becoming a nightmare for him and he does not want to continue with this anymore, and just like that he wakes up.

"My love" whispers the King as the seeker jumps out of the bed startled.

"Have I frightened you? My love dont be afraid, you had a bad dream, come lay with me. I will bring you back to the world you belong to"

The seeker is still startled, thinking to himself it felt so real....

The seeker was distant for most of the day. He sat on the throne with his King while the daily duties were taken care of. The smile that the seeker loved to share with his people was nowhere to be found, and the king was not pleased with this as his heart was attached to his. Whatever the seeker felt, so did he.

"What disturbs you my love? My heartaches when yours does, I cannot allow you to be this way... what can I do to make you feel at ease?"

"I feel that I have overstayed my welcome" the seeker says, completely taking the king from anguish to anger

"Your welcome? You have stayed too long with me? The love of your life?"

"You look too much into what I care, why do you not tend to your people out west? Beyond the river? They need you more than me. Why wait on me like a servant?"

The king is now enraged

"Surely you dont mean this? You question my authority and scold me for making you my companion? For making you king of my heart?"

"No, I know your love for me, but you have forgotten your people in exchange for it and I cannot allow it."

"Who has your heart? For I feel you have given it to someone else! I never hear u speak this until now!"

The king cannot take anymore from his love. The logic the seeker gives is unsatisfactory and he feels his heart breaking, slowly turning cold. His jealousy rarely shows its face but he can only come to this conclusion based on his past loves and does not know how else to react. He has the seeker taken back to their room and locked away until he understands that he is his and his alone.

The seeker never wanted to end it like this. He knows that some men cannot be confronted with their flaws for they only fight back in an uglier way. Now he, too is heartbroken.

"Was it all really a dream? I don't understand it, any of it, will I ever find what I seek? How long will I be in this room? How could I escape?"

The king suddenly opens the door, carrying a large flask of the seeker's favorite wine.

"I've come to beg forgiveness my love. I do not know where your heart is, but I know mine is in your ownership, and I cannot allow you to return it"

The seeker feels slight relief, then the dream comes back to him

"I accept your apology my love, but my soul has been through a great deal today. Just lay with me, all is forgiven"

The king hesitates "Are u sure my love? My token of gratitude will go to waste if we just lay with it full"

"Yes my King, I have no appetite for wine" The king relents and they lay together, yet the seeker never closes his eyes.....

Title: The Ruler Of Cosmic Vision

[aura-loveshine]

Fringe-dweller’s true tales.

I looked up at the half moon, and thought “this will be the 5th full moon since you died”... 

Three nights before you were so suddenly taken from the physical earth, you camped overlooking the beautiful large body of water. you explored the multifaceted countryside, you were always like a kid when it came to exploring. you would have honoured and felt connected with nature. you would have sat with a j and admired the full moon on Friday the 13th. it would have been so beautiful to see the full moon over the water, the reflection, the light bouncing off the rippling water and quartz crystal sparkly rockbed... 

I hope those days spent at that campsite were healing, I hope you felt at peace, I hope you spent those days happy, content. I imagine you playing guitar and adventuring with our magic merlin dog, enjoying the wildlife, the peacefulness. I imagine you listening to the abc radio you loved and talking to the other campers, sharing your quirky unique self, making people laugh, or think. I imagine you satisfied to have achieved the long time goal to drive to the tip of Australia, from Cook Town to Cape York in your FWD. I imagine you had chocolate or something sweet even though you were running out of everything else. 

I wonder if you dreamt those nights... I wonder if you had a feeling something was coming. I wonder about the last conversations you had with tribe. i wonder about where you thought the wind might take you next. I wonder if you actually were on your way to visit me... ill never know whether I/you/we could have done anything to change what happened... I can't believe after all the physical pain you endured through-out your 34 years, that you experienced pain in your last alert moments... I think about our dog being with you when it all happened... 

I imagine you loving being omnipresent, exploring the universe in your cosmic pirate-ship with Xena, your beloved 17 year old dog. I'm not surprised she passed 12 days after you... I'm glad your both free of your aching sore physical bodies. You both lived so adventurously. you and Xena are the only ones I know that can say they lived in their vehicles/bus for over 11 years, driving over a million kms around and through Australia. I also don’t know anyone else that helped as many fringe-dwellers as you did, loved and supported so many beautiful women without trying to take it to a sexual level, who invited people to travel with you and see new incredible parts of Australia. you saved forests, educated people, changed Bunnings national policy, inspired people to live better and more freely, you lived more in your short life-time than anyone I know. you experienced pain, near death experience, limitation childhood abuse and death of loved ones and still managed to be the incredible being full of enthusiasm with an open heart and playful inquisitive nature. 

I was relieved to hear you had been reconnecting with your mum and family. that our close friends had quality time with you before everything changed...       I know you knew there was a high chance of you dying while on the road due to road death statistics... but all the justifications can't outweigh the heaviness of not being able to message you, call you, find out where you are now, what your building or what fascinating experience you’ve had recently.

You were the first and only male partner I have shared a ‘de facto’ type lovership with, having only been with women until you. you were so respectful, you were loving and gentle...  travelling in a old coaster for 6 months with you living a true dream... you built us a bush shack in two weeks, you built us a bush palace in a month and a half, all while been technically ‘disabled’... you showed me sacred sites of Australia, you climbed into caves, swam in ocean with crocodiles a few kms away,, we ate dinner alone with Dick Smith in the desert, casually chatting. you introduced me to Robin Mutoid at Burn out, I loved sitting with you and Robin in the coaster watching you two light up talking about mad hatter genius building ideas... and plans to create an explosive pineapple grenade to the filming we were doing.

Some of my favourite memories of my life-time, have been with you. I cherish you, I cherish my photos of you, I'm relieved I didnt listen to you when you told me to stop taking photos and be in the moment, but now I can look at those memories when I need to see you. every time I see a old coaster van I'm going to think of you... so many things remind me of you... having merlin with me is the silver lining, I'm relieved she was safely found after 15 days of being missing in the bush. I'm relieved she's with me. but I wish I was instead bringing her back to you...

You led such an incredible life I hope to share your stories and pictures with the world. you inspired so many people while you were alive... and even after... thousands of people read about your death on social media and tv... the articles and posts used the photos I took of you. it was surreal to see you and our dog in articles, for what happened to be so publicised... for a tragedy so personal to be used as ‘grief porn’... I hope to use the publicity of it all to make change to the stretch of road. needs better signage, a lower speed, something! I can't get it out of my head that you were the 9th fatality out of 30 accidents in 31 years, within a 4km stretch of road... 9 fatalities is too many. 9 is the final number. you are the last one to be taken out there...

The bush fires started raging not long after you died... in a strange way, the fires seemed fitting in my state of grief. Our lives were all forever changed... I was forever changed. The fires burning for months. My grief, anger, shock and feeling of helplessness burning inside me for months.  the sense of emergency through out the country, the sense of disaster within me.

It was all a bit much trying to deal with you dying, Xena dying, merlin being missing for 15 days and everything else that happened over the next 2 months as well the fires raging, rainforests burning, native wildlife in crisis, homes burning, people dying and the nation all in panic and smoke. Being 1500kms away from my forest home and family while the fires burned out of control less that 40kms away, with road blocks and potential fires in between. Trying to have your life celebration festivities while experiencing heavy rain, wind warnings and strained tumultuous emotions all round... thunder and hail while my mums saying she is taking all my valuables and art to a safe house coz the fires are getting closer, and they are prepping to have to evacuate with the dog, cat, ducks and chickens... luckily, it never came to that, the fires were contained 25kms away from our home, contained only 20kms away from my closest town, a well known beautiful alternative community. 

A moment that will always bring a smile to my heart, was when I was finally driving home. Id had a really rough night, id been holding so much in, trying to just get through everything to get home, id started falling apart... we had just started driving, when we saw a small’ish’ dust devil. the ‘tornado hunter’ part in me instantly wanted to drive up the near by road to chase it. I held back, until I heard my friend say “we could throw some of him ashes into the dust devil”... and I zoomed up the road as quick as I could. although the little twister had gone out of reach, I trustfully threw some of your ashes towards it. my heart felt uplifted as I watched the ash catch, float up and dissolve toward the dust devil.

You weren't scared of dying, you lived actively seeking to push your own limits, always with a cheeky grin. but you always landed like a cat, you were always there, doing your thing... alive. you always came back... you would have heard about the fires and driven straight to help, you would have fought the fires like you had before. you would have used the experience as a way to further pursue actual change for the planet, would have been apart of the vocal community questioning how the government failed to protect and how we needed to have upheaval and revolution...

You drove so safely on the roads. I dont know what happened to the other driver, except that he was seemingly uninjured. was it actually an unfortunate accident? or did the driver lose control going around the corner at 130kms in a 100 zone.... 

Was it really ‘your time to go’? if I hadn't been to the crash site and dealt with all that I have, I might fantasise the idea that you pulled the ultimate fucked up prank, that your hiding out in your doomsday bunker, mischievously laughing at no one knowing your alive, being completely ‘offline’, plotting the moment to reveal yourself... to see you, hug you would be.... 

We separated as lovers 15 months before you died, as we had to go on seperate journeys, we had to become individuals again. we were both struggling with very different things, we had to salvage our friendship and love, to take a break, allow some time... and then... you died 7 hours away, on your way to my area... on your way to see me and Xena.. I can't help but feel I'm being punished somehow, question if I shouldn't have made you leave. you might still be alive... am I silly to dwell on thoughts like that? I thought we had more time.

All I can do is live passionately, continue to be inspired by you and cherish you and our time together, learn from my experiences, healing these wounds by living, by loving, by sharing truth, by having daily gratitude and celebrating the positive events and changes as they come.

I know, for a long time, I will count each passing full moon...

You will always be my gypsy pirate king.  

Fly Free my Lover. I'll see you on the other side once again.

[nowhereiswhereibelong]

73 Questions

I mas tagged by: @mrs-machinegun-norris about two centuries ago sorry

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

• 5

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

• #sadbicht

• Cause I'm a bad bicht you can't kill me, only I do that

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

• Aaron Taylor-Johnson

• Colson Backer

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

• The crazy bisexual is on the loose

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

• That I cant handle silence

What’s your wake up ritual?

• All my cats and family yells at me till I roll of take my meds and stare at the wall till I'm late

What’s your go to bed ritual?

• Make sure I cleaned the litter box and that my cats have food and water then is up to bed and reading anything and everything till I fall a sleep

What’s your favourite time of day?

• Night time (I get the zoomies), or when I'm home alone

Your go to for having a good laugh?

• I really like comedy and some that make me laugh even when I watched 1000 times: John Mulaney, Daniel Sloss, Russel Howard and Sarah Millican

Dream country to visit?

• As many as I can! I have an extensive list

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

• Last semester 3 professors at university were really supportive and understanding and I didnt expect them to be so kind or belive in me that much.

Heels or flats/sneakers?

• Sneakers everywhere all the time for any given reason

Vintage or new?

• Vintage bits and pisses of different eras but late 80s early 90s give me live

• And I'm obsessed with 70s buildings dont know why

Who do you want to write your obituary?

• An creative stranger - go nuts dude freak people out

Style icon?

• dont have one I guess

What are three things you can’t live without?

• My cats

• My phone

• My guitar

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

• I'm crazy about mustard

• My dad always says anything salivary can be better with cheese and anything sweet be better with chocolate - not that far from the truth

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

• Elvis Presley

• Jane Fonda

• Janis Joplin

What’s your biggest fear in life?

• Failure

• The dark

Window or aisle seat?

• Window: you can look at the view, it's better for sleeping and during the day sunlight for reading

What’s your current TV obsession?

• A have many, it's a problem, but right now mind hunter

Favourite app?

• Instagram and tumblr

Secret talent?

• I like to lie to myself and say acting but maybe just weirdly good at pretending to be good at things (ain't that the joke huh)

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

• I would say it was dumb, stupid and streamly dangerous but when I was 16 a friend and I went to some guys house in a very weird neighborhood and lied to our parents about it and only 1 other friend new (also our taxi couldn't find the house). We meet those two guys at a friends party and they said that they were throwing one and that we should go, and our dumb selfdestruting alcohol hunting minds though, why not. It was not a party. It was just a hang out with us and one other guy and to this day I dont know how we left at 7am (the only way to get out of there was the first bus because uber wasn't a thing yet and me and my friend were to scared of what kind taxi driver we would find) unharmed and not sexually harassed, given that one of the dudes that our friends new more hated me for a few months for not putting out for him, cause you know, men.

• I'm absolutely sure they wanted a sex party that didnt happen. But I did show my unasked skills of knowing every single black veil brides lyrics.

How would you define yourself in three words?

• Anxious

• Laud

• Loyal

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

• The stolen 80s tshirts from my dad

• High waisted shorts

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

• A comfortable pair of jean shorts that you feel pretty in

Superpower you would want?

• To stop time

• I get to anxious trying to time manage and it just snowballs from there. And sleeping in without being always late.

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

• Machine Gun Kelly (I stared listening to his stuff a few months ago)

• But always and forever is the passion that moves people

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

• Be/do to other people what you wanted to be done for you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

• It's not just on your head it's a real thing, you're lot alone, and it ok to need help.

A book that everyone should read?

• Harry Potter: that even thou I have read multiple times it still is amazing and full of symbolism that people brush through some times.

• Women who run with the wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

• My older sister made me start this book and its absolutely live changing and I belive should be obligatory to all women in this world. This book is a live long work by this psychologist and through miths, legends, folk tales and stories she puts together what she calls the wild women archetype and what is the feminine instinct is and how those tales teach us about it and how to have a healthy relationship with her.

What would you like to be remembered for?

• For being kind

How do you define beauty?

• It's an powerfull force within

What do you ~love most~ only love about your body?

• The shape of my eyes

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

• Listening to music and dancing around

Favourite place to view art?

• I dont understand sorry

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

• Static supernova

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

• Guitar and piano cant choose only one

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

• My planned ones:

• Orca

• Felix felicis

• Tree

• Mother earth

• Penicillin allergy (I dont trust nobody)

Dolphins or koalas?

• Dolphins

• Did you y'all know that orcas not only aren't whales but belong on the same family as dolphins?

What’s your spirit animal?

• Orca

Best gift you’ve ever received?

• My cats (even thou there are rescues they're my little special gifts from nature)

Best gift you’ve ever given?

• On my best friend wedding my friend and I gave a performance as siluetes (it was private beach and all the light were off and we had the car headlights behind us) I played the song you are in love by taylor swift while she did an beautiful performance on silks the song represented their relationship and how she shared it if us in a very sacred way and the silks was a representation of her herself and how the 3 of us saw in the last few years her transformation from a very broken person to the women she was born to be.

• Yes we were crying the hole time but was the most genuine and beautiful think I ever done so yeah

What’s your favourite board game?

• Dix it, its awesome go play it pls

What’s your favourite colour?

• Petrol blue

Least favourite colour?

• The color of lentil soup my mom makes it looks like a baby have serious digestive problems

Diamonds or pearls?

• Diamonds of the symbolic value of "the pressure that could've break us made us into diamonds insted"

Drugstore makeup or designer?

• Drugstore makeup, the one I know that are real brands hauahauahs

Blow-dry or air-dry?

• Air-dry

Pilates or yoga?

• Pilates even thou I must prefer sports mostly

Coffee or tea?

• My blood is coffee at this point

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

• Wolrd, because English is not my first language and specially in an American accent the pronunciation of wolrd if simply the worst and is absolutely obnoxious and unsettling.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

• Dark

• But my absolut favored is a 70% cacao white chocolate. It's incredible but I only got to buy it twice :(

Stairs or elevator?

• Stairs, I also love to sit on them

Summer or winter?

• Winter. I only like heat if I'm inside very cold water

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

• If nutrition value doesn't matter, ice cream

A desert you don’t like?

• Orange cake. Bad memories and I vomit every time I try to eat it.

A skill you’re working on mastering?

• Singing and playing the guitar

Best thing to happen to you today?

• I think I made a online friend :D

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

• That I'm kind

Favourite smell?

• Buttering sugar

Hugs or kisses?

• Hugs i Iike to be permanently attached to some people at times

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

• Domestic violence

• Parenting

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

• Today I was trying to play this song called Ronan and cryed my eyes out like all the other times I tried before It's a song of child cancer in the mother's perspective

Lipstick or lip gloss?

• Lipstick

• I'm a red matte lip stan

Sweet or savoury?

• Sweet

Girl crush?

• Billie Elish

How you know you’re in love?

• The only time I think I've been in love I only realised it because they left and I didnt understand why i was severely hurt by it and changed the way I created all relationships after that. And then it hit me

• So pain and heartache.... yeah that's depressing as shit

Song you can listen to on repeat?

• When the sun goes down - Arctic Monkeys

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

• My own self but not a anxious depressed mess just to feel what it's like

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

• That I dont need to make decisions

[voidformation]

some elaborate dreams that i wrote down elsewhere:

8/13/21 dream

gayatri and amma were visiting us in texas. we were walking outside and i was telling them about temples i could take them to. i described the hanuman temple (i gestured with my arms to portray how vast it was) and the guruvayurappan one (it would be the last day of adi masam, so i said that could be cool) and one other one, they told me that they didn’t want to go to the DFW ekta mandir again. then i remembered that i could take them to the lalita peetam.

we all went together, the four of us. the temple was normal stuff, but lalita devi was in the left corner. we all sat around. it was pretty busy for a saturday.

then the priest opened up the side of the temple. there was an entire other set of ummachis. radha krishna and rama parivar. there was a durga alone as one of the layers. he could press a button and everything changed, like a set. we were amazed. i wanted to come here every saturday.

at some point i visited gayatri’s and amma’s apartment. i knew they’d moved in a while back but they were just settling in. gayatri was showing me how she kept her bookshelf and other items so she could reach and find things easily around the place. we talked a bit. it was a nice spring day.

temple moving between layers again. now many seats appeared and a stage came out. it was a low stage. i was trying to show everything to them. i think i went to the bathroom at some point.

these kids were all at the front of the temple. they were putting on some dancing. there were white young adult kids there too and i think i knew them or they’d asked me some questions. the young woman explained that she was going to do a general dance style after her bharatanatyam piece, and the first 6 seconds would be a prayer to the guru. the priest was standing on the side the whole time. a bunch of people came out and started dancing, their coordinated outfit was dark blue sequined.

somewhere towards the end of the performance, there was a clamoring. gayatri had taken $16,000. it was the temple’s money but it was somehow appa’s money actually. she snooped in the back room, saw the bills, and just took them. i was enraged. i chased her down up the audience seats and got the money back.

something happened. then towards the end the priest called out to just me. he took me to the back, near the main temple again. he asked me what was going on. i was tired and then this altercation. he seemed to understand that something wasn’t going on right at home.

i was deeply moved by this. i didn’t say much, but the entire time i wished that i had grown up around him. i wish someone had been there for me like that in indiana (it was still reality in the dream, but i seem to have understood the reality of my life at that point).

he didn’t get much out of expressing concern. but in the end he said some special mantrams for me. he pressed something against my chest too. there were other people at the temple. this felt like a kavacham. i left with appa only after that and everything fizzled out.

8/21/21 dream

we were at this temple. it was me and gayatri or something. there were these kids like the AVG NextGen kids. i sat on the ground for some bhajans. i was coming in and then leaving? it was like i was paying a short regular weekly visit.

i kept wanting to go next door. it was like india, lots of outdoorness and small temples. this temple was run by krishna das white people. i didn’t really want to go all the way in because they had their own weird thing. but i wanted to go see by the front where there was an orange stone hanuman. the hanuman had so many eyes. i went in but wasn’t brave enough to go in far. and then i went in again and was able to see ummachi.

i came back to this first temple. there was some guy i was with or around who was nice and understanding. we were distant though, but we were close. we chatted and there might have been sexual tension. i know we were in the temple but i don’t remember the temple then. but i went around and prayed. afterwards the guy talked to me. we were trying to be intimate or something. i liked him a lot and he had no real qualities but being nice and sweet to me.

at some point i went to use a public restroom. suddenly in the stall next to me, very typical black people were having sex passionately. the stalls shook. i looked through the cracks to catch a glimpse of the glistening and muscular black man behind her. but they were then outside the stall. i wanted to keep watching but i left the restroom because other people also rushed out in horror. i was more interested than appalled.

i was wearing gold eyeliner smeared around my eyelids and eyes.

at some point, sundaresh texting me trying to make plans. but i was staying and i was leaving and i didnt have much interest either.

i then went to a small temple. it was nepali and deserted. we got there before the priest. it seemed to have a lot of sannidhis. we went around once and i was close and interested to the murtis. there was a lot of fire around me, not just deepam but huge pillars of flickering fire that enveloped the murtis and sannidhis or that were the murtis themselves. there was some tourist family around us. i think i was with appa. i was spending time closely with the murtis, but was wearing big basketball shoes. these shoes were consciously on my feet, but i forgot about them. but after the priest and others came into the temple, appa exclaimed and i ran to take off my shoes.

then there was this black man. he was also touristy but showed interest to be a convert. the priest answered some of his questions.

we were still there for some reason. the priest handed appa a water cup to give the shivalingam abhishekam. it was a small gray shivalingam that was different. i went up after appa to try but i didn’t want to cut the line because the black guy and some other indian were in line after. then the priest started opening up the sannidhis and letting us come close. we went up to a few murtis that i don’t remember anymore. but one sannidhi he let us in really close. it was Saraswati Devi, but She was dark and different. like the nepali style with some demonic forces around and within her. the priest explained that she was an ugra saraswati or at least that saraswati is not as sweet as most conceive her to be. the black guy seemed to know, as he was in the area and mentioned that he read that her complexion was never white. i kept looking at Her, but it felt so museum-like. i felt outside. i couldn’t connect to her. i was trying to process (maybe like i was trying to remember my dream as i had it, soaking in every detail). the murti was so black and dark and different. i don’t remember Her face and i never tapped into Her energetic field.

reasons i had these dreams: appa mentioned that the vedas worshipped fire, i saw Willow’s saraswati tattoo on tiktok, surya mentioned dreams and ugra deity dreams

[halleywars]

no breaks no readmore

Introduction

There were balls everywhere.  Many myths have been spun about god, but i am the chronicler, and i am here to dispel all bullshit creation stories once and for all. The story you are about to hear is not myth, however if it is easier for your feeble mind to take as such then so be it. Before all else, before women, before the earth and time and space, god created man , and to mankind he gave balls. To each man a flaw, and to each man a ball. Within these balls god gave each man what it took to become more god like, a key to unlocking his true potential. If you are of a foolish type you may be thinking that the balls are a metaphor for something more like a way of thinking, but i assure you the meaning is quite literal. These balls were dubbed the "element balls" and their manifestation in your world is quite physical. The truth behind the disappearance of your balls is the tale i spin today. This tale begins with a man following his own dreams, who would set into motion a chain of events that would fart in the face of the world. This is the tale, of the element balls.

           The desert sun beat down on steven universe, the earth red and fucked surrounded him. It was the year 2048, and steven was pissed. He was quick to crack wise and his face showed it, however people did not put up with this shit on account of him being 50. Nowadays steven stuck mostly to his job as an archeologist. He tapped the fingerprint scanner on his space watch and the robot hologram on it informed him was almost 8 in egypt time, which was where he was at, egypt. He was digging in egypt, doing archeologist stuff, is what im trying to get across, also its the future. Steven looked up from his space watch to a lanky man standing above his dig site. The man stunk of cum and checkers hamburgers, his white and gold suit reflecting off the sun like something really bright white and gold. The man had a shit eating grin on his face as he chomped a big cigar like it was a gay dick that he was suckin'.

"Steven you cocksucker, its almost 8 o clock in egypt time! You really need to pack up your shit and hit the road, when it gets dark the giant scorpions come out."

           Steven wiped the sweat off his brow and chuckled to himself while shaking his head. He continued digging as if he hadnt heard a word.

           The suited man was pissed. "Steven you got egypt dirt in your ears? Did you perhaps forget im the money behind this trip? and i didnt pay millions of dollars to get a top archeologist out here in egypt so he can find nothing for three days and then get killed and buttfucked by giant desert scorpions? "

           Steven chuckled and graced the angry man a response, "You wouldnt know shit about passion Lars, youve never worked a day in your life. Look bakery tits.. im not out here jerkin off... im gettin close to finding some info on those damned balls... i can feel it in my gut."

           Lars was pissed because of the backtalk, but he knew what to expect from steven. He lit a cig, gayly. He had hired steven because he was a master of archeology, the backtalk was to be expected of someone who was the master of his craft. But Lars knew if anyone could dig up some information on the balls, it was steven. Lars looked back down at Steven and tightened his fancy white gloves. He held up one finger.

           "Youve got until 1 o clock, any later and ill have the boys come out here and drag your ass out of the dirt. we clear?"

           Steven hadnt taken his eyes off his work. "crystal" he shouted to the gay millionaire as he continued digging.

           Lars noded his head and flicked his cig on the hot egypt dirt, it burst into flames. He whistled for his hoverboard and it flew over to him, Lars hopped on and flew away, leaving steven to continue his work in peace.

A Discovery

The sun was setting, and with it the insanity of Lars sprung forward.  He took off the mask and looked for a long time in the mirror- at the scars.  That day.  That day when Ocean Smith burned it to the ground.  I’ll never forget that day.  Lars slammed his fist onto the counter top and screamed with rage.  His bones, indeed his very existence was rattled.  After some time he remembered.  I’m bitter again.  I’m angry again.  Then he remembered his medication.  He lit up the obama kush and inhaled deeply, feeling the tension evaporate off of his body.  He had a curious mental condition indeed.  A single thought warped his mind and sent him into a state of being not unlike that of a raging bull.  

Chill dubstep was playing.  He layed back onto the couch with the back of his neck curved around the top of the couch cusion, just staring.  Thinking.  About her.  She was an angel.

Steven universe was toiling in the black of night with only a torch.  These transcriptions are fucked up!  I need to decode… ah yes.  The emerald tablets of Thoth springing into being from the angelic horsemen?  The….balls….into existence from the….source?  What source?  Lets read further into this mystery.  The archaic….tomb of Xerxes….Ramses trine to the seventh equinox….on the first of May?  Ah!  And with these thoughts he realized it.  He must go to the tomb of Xerxes to retreive the key, and then to the tomb of Ramses to put it in the lock!  Then the mystery will be revealed.  

Connie Maheswaran was eating grapefruit.  Her house was luxurious, yet barren.  Cold stones.  She liked the stark reality of the stones.  Jean Michel Jarre was playing on the speakers nearby.  Connie’s eyes were closed, and she was in another world.  Then the phone rang.  It was Steven.  

“Yo”

“Connie, you need to come to Egypt, right this minute.”

“Bro.  I’m tryin to chill here.  I was about to snort some Zaka.”

“Zaka is about as useless at this time as poop!”

“What’s all the racket?”

“The element balls…. I know how to get the element balls.”

“Still believe in the mystery school teachings?  Come now.”

“The plane is paid for, my friend.”

“Well…. Money’s not an issue for me, but fuck it.  I’ll snort a double and be there on the double.”

“Cya pal.”

“Cya.”

Connie was looking out the window, Arkansas below.  Ah, the Ozarks.  If only I had a log cabin out there.  The lady beside Connie was eying her sternly.  

“Are you on something?”

Connie looked her in the eye until she quickly turned her head in the other direction.  That’s more like it, fat bitch.  

Connie farted hard.  Then the plane came to a halt.  The fatass held her nose and Connie sneered.  Hope the vacation’s fun, retard!  Steven greeted her as she exited the plane.  Before leaving, she waves bye to the pilot, who she gave some speed so he could stay awake.  

Lapis Lazuli was in a hot tub.  Smoking a joint, snorting zaka.  I am so high.

Zaka

Lapis’ iPhone 4k rose out of the hot tub and started spinning. Lapis was pissed. She shouted.

“Siri who the fuck is disturbing me at this hour?”

“It is steven universe master”

Lapis raised an eyebrow

“Not a fucking prank i hope, if this is some mindless bullshit ill fly over there and shove my boot up his ass.”

“It appears to be urgent master”

“Shut the fuck up and put me on the phone with him robot voice.”

The phone flashed millions of different colors before displaying a hologram of steven universe, flashing his balls.

“You proud of those? They're about to be hung on my wall shrimp dick.”

The cackling of a hyena could be heard from the phone, but Lapis stayed stone faced and silent. The hologram spoke

“Long time no see Lapis”

“I’m assuming you called for more than to show off your shitty old balls?”

“You assumed right”

“This wouldn't have anything to do with those damned element balls you’ve been going on and on about would it?”

“I’m nearer than I’ve ever been. I need your help. Were on our way to Xerxes tomb.”

“I’m not much of an archeologist Steven.”

“This is big Lapis, I have a feeling whatever happens in the next 48 hours, you’re gonna wanna see first-hand.”

Lapis shook her head and sighed.

“I assume you’re on your way over here then. Fuck!  You payin’ my way?!”

Bromos

“You’ve got the money!”

“Spent it all on Bromos.”

“Fine.  Yup.”

“That’s more like it.”

Lapis ended the call and sunk back into the water with cool contemplation.  

The three hoodlums were finally together again after long, long years.  And they weren’t happy.  They all went their own neurotic loner ways over the years, Connie always loved tracking what the government was up to, Lapis loved cool meditation and Bromos, and of course Steven was the obsessed one, the one who delved in research. They were all seated around a pretentious fire with spoiled faces.  Connie simply stated, “I’m gettin’ bored here where are the balls of power?”  

“I called you two here to ask for you assistance with possibly…. Dangerous ruins.”

“Mummies?”

“Very possibly.”

Connie leaned back into her lawn chair and sneered.  A skeptic at heart indeed.  Lapis was not amused.  She was craving bromos.  

“Remember that gay town on the east coast?!” Announced Lapis.

Steven replied, “Oh, yep.  That was the dumbest town I’ve even seen in my life.  What a gay selection of things to do.”

“Beach… City… Beach City… horrible ass place.”

“Oh I know.”

Lapis spoke, “What must we do to find the element balls?  I would like to taste of them.”  

“We must go to the Tomb of Xerxes to find the key.  What this key is, I cannot say.  I will have to read the transcriptions at the site.”

“And of Lars Barriga?”

“He’ll never find us again, that idiot.”

“Good, he’s a nuisance.”

Connie spoke up, “I don’t trust him.  Don’t consider him merely a weakling.  What if he’s hiding something?  He walks with the air of chaos.”

Steven replied, “True, but we could kick his ass.”

“To that, my friend, a line of Zaka.”

A uniform AYE! Sounded between the group.  

Three lines were laid out, and Connie became all the rage.  Lapis became a mastermind of the void.  Steven went crazy and kept on smacking himself on the ass.  The three of them were violent, and farting at that.  The three of them formed a sort of united dance.  Waving, heaving, jumping, farting.  Yelling, vomiting, flashing lights from the distant night formed in their vision.  Their minds were like fireworks- the zaka was working.  

It was the next morning.  The sun seared the optic nerves of Lapis when she opened her eyes.  She spit the sand from her mouth.  Collapsed, still exhausted, and very thirsty.  And also, unpleasantly surprised.  His friends were missing.

“What in the fuck!”

Lapis’ mouth felt all the more like cotton when she spoke.  She started to panic.  It was just her now, him and the depressing, impractical ruins.  Lapis was the practical sort- not particularly fond of jokes unless it meant making sport of another being.  She started to truly panic, and felt a lump start to swell up in her throat, a lump that massaged the sand into his throat.  

Egypt

Lapis looked up to see a devious grin spread across Steven’s face

 “Still got bromos on the mind Lapis? Welcome back to the land of the living.”

 “How long was I out?”

 “All of last night and well... Its eight thirty at night now, didn’t know you of all people couldn’t handle your bromos”

 Connie spoke up “that’s what you get for mixing your bromos with zaka. You shoulda known better”

 Steven nodded in agreement, “yes bromos and zaka… the bromonium ions in the bromos binded to the tert butyl carbons in your blood stream. Mix that with the high levels of selenium in the zaka and…”

 Lapis cut him off, once Steven got on a tangent he became more annoying than a school teacher named mrs scroggs. Fuck you ms scroggs im glad youre in jail you fucking moron pedo fucking dumb ass

 “So then were at the tomb of xerxes correct?”

 “Something like that, this is what’s open to the public, the true tomb is underneath”

 Lapis raised an eyebrow, “underneath?”

 Steven coolly smiled and instructed Connie to move away from the golden statue of xerxes she was leaning on.

 “Observe”

 Steven dusted off the statues dong area to reveal a golden dick. He jacked it off and sperm shot out of it onto Lapis’ face. Lapis was not amused. Suddenly the ruins started to shake and the floor spread open beneath them. Lapis slipped on the cum and fell on her ass.

 “As if the hangover wasn’t bad enough!”

 A laugh track played. The floor opened to reveal a set of stairs down a deep dark passage way.

 “This way ladies” Steven squawked in his gay ass voice. He lit a torch with his vape pen and they headed down the tunnel. Steven looked back at Lapis and stopped, smiling.

 “What?” Lapis inquired

 “Like that?”

 “Like what??”

 “Xerxes ruins cum in your face”

 Lapis delivered a quick blow to Steven’s face but Steven dodged it, laughing and dancing away down the stairs like some kind of fucked up jester. Anyways it was a long passageway, really long, nothing really happened on the way there. Anyways they got to the bottom and it was like, a egypt tomb. Hiro gliffs on the wall.

 “Hmm…” Steven inspected the hiro gliffs

 “These Egypt writings are telling me where the key is, everyone wait back there, and watch my back for mummies or something”

Lars and Jamie

Lapis, Connie and Steven woke up at about the same time in a dim torch-lit room in the tomb.  Sleeping gas?  They each thought of this as they rubbed their eyes, slightly bewildered.  Then they writhed.  With their hands tied behind them, and their legs wrapped with strong ropes, it seemed as if decisions were impotent.  

Their timely plateau of panic was greeted by two gentlemen coming onto the scene.  Steven could make out Lars, but not the other person.  

“Hello Steven.  Since you did not obey me, after I provided you with an opportunity to wet your scholarly appetite with translation, it would seem as though you’ve gotten yourself into a mess.  Your role is not of your choosing.  The time of so called “freedom”, “freewill”, and “staking your claim” is over.  Humanity is advancing into the role of guardians, and leaving the previous title of beast behind.  No longer do we compete!  No longer are we individuals!  Now we become us.  The united.  The one.  Success is not real without contrast against other individuals.  So this artificial and bloated man-made concept must be destroyed.  So, any last words?  Have you read the beloved, ‘A Cask of Amontillado’ from ages ago?”

Steven simply answered, “Do what you must, you fool.”

“Why, I am simply shattered.  What cold words.  I must insist however; it is time for action.”

With that Lars and the other man started sealing Connie, Lapis, and Steven in the small room with bricks.  Lapis decided to comment to the other man.

“You are Jamie, are you not?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I remember your theatre performance in Beach City.  It really was retarded.”

Jamie was shaking with rage.  He was brutally insulted, and as a result, accidentally knocked some bricks off the wall being built.  Lars slapped him.  Lars removed his mask and pressed his charred forehead against Jamie’s, staring him in the eye.  Jamie was tearing up.

“You see my face?  You are so stupid.”

Jamie was sobbing and screaming.  His legs were shaking.  And, in this amount of time Connie was able to free herself.  She stared them both in the eye.  She told them to fuck off.

Lars started sprinting, but Jamie was so shaky that he fell to the ground and started sobbing uncontrollably.  Connie knocked down the bricks and started beating on Jamie’s face until he was unrecognizable.  

Connie, Lapis and Steven were all aboard the Hawk, their space ship.  Hawk was custom built and very fast.  Jamie walked in the main hall from his healing tank.  The threesome looked him over and said, almost at once, “What in the fuck?!”  Jamie looked like a barbarian.  He had to apologize.  He told them that nobody ever gave him what he really needed in life, and asked if he could be the cook aboard the Hawk.  

“Fine” said Connie.  “As long as you do push-ups every day, and eat ghost peppers to keep the inner pussy in line.”

“Will do.”

Vengeance and Spirits

Connie and Lapis, high, retired to the “drunk tank” as they liked to joke about, were pissed off.  The subject matter- the key that Lars has in his possession.  Their faces somber and drunk, Lapis broke the silence.

“It’s simple really.  We show up at his mansion and stomp his gay ass into the dirt.”

“Hmm.”

“Eh?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking Steven?!”

“Come now, I’m the brains here.”

“That is off subject, but go ahead and ask what I’m thinking.”

“Eh?”

“I’m thinking we put steroids into Jamie.  And, I’m thinking we get him to hate stomp Lars.”

“Ohoho!”

“Hehehehehehehe!”

Both of them rubbed their hands together, took two shots and lit a cig in that order.  When they entered the main hall, they noticed Steven schooling Jamie in philosophy.  “I’ve never heard a man drool that much.” proclaimed Connie.  “Seen a man drool?”  “No, his face is shaped fucked up from where I beat his ass.  You can hear it slurp out like pouring water from a jug.”  Steven slapped Jamie.  And he proclaimed-

“I guess you don’t wanna be the cook, eh?”

“N-no.  I mean yes.  I do.”

Steven snapped his fingers together.  “Ah!”  Connie produced a ghost pepper.  Jamie started twitching in anticipation.  Connie was grinning, zooming slowly the pepper closer and closer to Jamie’s mouth, as he started to tear up.  “It’s a plane!  Open up, lad!”  Connie started to laugh.  Jamie held his mouth open like it was about to receive cock, but unfortunately for him this is bigger than any he’s ever encountered.  The plane landed.  

But it was a rough landing.  Jamie was convulsing, crying.  Snot exploded out of his face.  The pressure blower was applied to remove the biological matter.  Jamie is a fuckin fag.  Steven spoke up-

“I thought you WANTED this chance.  This chance- to be a part our team.  Or maybe you didn’t know what you were getting into, boy.  You still have some demons inside of you, eh?  Either we wipe those out- the hard way- or you take care of them yourself much easier.  We’ll even allow you to dip your feet in the water before you get in so to speak.”

Connie crammed another pepper down.  At this point the lad looked like a fuckin’ frog.  He even stopped making noise.  I guess the threesome know a good pacifier, eh?  Well that’s funny, a pepper pacifier to prevent pepper noise, but he talks to much anyway.”  

It was morning, and the third day of Jamie’s training.  His alarm clock?  Need I say anything but the fact that he was an utter frog?  But he was getting used to it- and he was gaining muscle since he was wearing an anabolic oxygen gas mask while he was designated to work out his shoulders for five hours.  He was big, simple as that.  Lapis gave him the look.

“You’re ready boy.”

“For what?”

“To beat Lars’s ass.”

“Ah.  Will do.”

You see, normally Jamie would cry at that point- but the threesome also administered scolopomine for heightened suggestibility from Jamie.  He was their thrall.  Needless to say, he wasn’t ball material.  Well, that’s a bit hasty- the threesome hasn’t got any balls yet.  But Jamie’s got negative two balls.  

“Colloso” from the Golden Sun soundtrack starts playing(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbOVd642FJo).  The Hawk landed on top of Lars’s mansion.  Laser beams commenced attack, but the hawk was too strong.  Before two minutes were up, all of the puny soldiers were bleeds.  Jamie was screaming- this time his pitch was UNDER 2000 hz.  More like one.  He was all hyped up on steroids, and jumped on Lars, flailing his arms and turning his already burnt face into a shit face.  All while the threesome aboard were getting the same treatment- in a different way.  They used a giant electromagnet to pull the key aboard from Lars’ pocket.  Oops!  It was in his back pocket.  Tore a hole in the poor bastards gut.  He was finished anyway.  The ship left behind the two freaks.  There was a vibe of, “I take my leave” in the air.  The last the threesome saw was Jamie…. fucking Lars.  What an ordeal.

We Can’t Believe the Psyche of Some Human Beings!

So now the threesome were telling jokes about Jamie fuckin’.  It’s the seventh of May.  Time for Ramses tomb.  Can we skip all the, you know…. drugs- let’s fast forward to the tomb.  

In the burial chamber.  Long story short, Greg was inside of the coffin, unconscious.  “What the fuck?!”  They cast him aside.  The keyhole- sorry, my consciousness is simple because I’m in character with the threesome, who are all intensely wasted.  The keyhole and the key.  Turn.  Bright.  Shimmering lights.  Colors flashing in the face.  The ball, in all of its glory.  Lazuli addressed Steven-

“You did the translation.  It’s for you, friend.”

“Don’t worry, there will be some for all of us eventually!”

“Agreed!”

Steven grabbed the ball as it absorbed into his skin.  He started hovering over the ground.  

Greg Ambassador, and his Apprentice

As the threesome were prodding along on the Hawk, they gazed upon quite the poor spectacle of a space merchant outpost. Steven was curious, the rest said fuck it. The spaceship rocked its way downward onto the platform provided, a spaceship parking lot. The threesome couldn't tell if it was brand new or just unused. The put on their suits, and entered the door to the shop.

They went inside and saw a dorito haired, short, leprechaun resembling woman behind the desk. She looked up and said in amazement- “Ah, customers. This is an engineering shop in case you’re looking to tweak your ship.” Connie and Steven, fans of ships, perked right up. Steven spoke up-

“We are looking to make the Hawk faster, better, and more destructive than all other spaceships.”

“I'll get my boss Greg then.”

An old bearded man with a Beach City tee shirt entered the room. He had a hollow glare and an agape mouth. To break the silence, Greg shouted-

“You want it, I make it! Now what's your offer?”

“We want the most powerful spaceship in the universe.”

“There's only one way to do that.”

“How?”

“You must have an unused element ball.”

“That can be arranged.”

“Ahahaha! Fools! Bring me an element ball and I'll sell ya my soul!”

“Don't give us ideas, now.”

“Lets not joke here. I'm not easily humored. Unless It's Kat Williams, I aint laughing.”

Steven Universe brought an Element Ball out of his pocket. Greg looked like a spooked raccoon, and licked his lips with a certain disbelief. Greg's long white hair was pushed in front of his face by the air conditioning, but when it receded he held an expression of determination.

“It's been a long time.” Greg said.

Steven replied, “You were once known as the inventor of real Bionicles using the balls, you brought automatons to life with the balls, correct?”

“Mmhmm, thats right. But hold on one sec-”

“You must, lest the universe as you know it ceases to exist.”

“As I know it? Go head and press the red button then.”

The Gay Peedee

“Alright Peedee… you can do this… deep breaths…”

Peedee struggled to hold the vape pen to his mouth, his hands were trembling.

“Deep breaths… theres nothing bad about this… nothing bad about this at all…. Its just gonna make me relax… its not illegal… ugh….”

Peedee put the purple dildo shaped contraption to his mouth and pressed the button on the side. He closed his eyes and took a big suck from the vape pen.

“My lungs are on fire!!! Some one help!!!!!!”

Peedee dropped the pen and began crying and coughing intensely. He fell to his knees and started gagging between sobs, he vomited up arbys on the carpet, and onto the vape pen, causing it to shortcircuit. The spark from the pen caught Peedees shirt on fire. In a panic he took off all his clothes and stomped them into the vomit. The door flung open, and Lars appeared.

“What are you doing?”

Chandler stood there in his underwear with boogers running down his nose, silent.

“Piss your pants?”

Chandler looked down, he had indeed, pissed his pants, his white underwear had turned a bright yellow. Chandler drank a lot of soda. He decided to speak up.

“I was… trying to vape….”

Lars raised an eyebrow and made a :I face with his mouth.

“Sorry…. I was trying to relax myself… it made me dissociate… i didnt know what was going on.”

“Its vape dude”

 Strife With KillQuest

“God damn parts.” cursed Steven as his still unrefurbished ship glided forth.  The crew was headed to the planet Azragath to mine some kind of special metal for the remake of the Hawk.  “You sure this Greg figure isn’t some kind of fraud?  Did that even occur to Y’all?  What if he’s chuckling as we speak over this mess we’ve fallen for?” he went on.  But Connie wouldn’t have it.  “I know real when I see it.  He’s an engineer.  He’s got neutral eyes.  Eyes that don’t see what they want to see.  Eyes that see what appears in reality.” she parried.  “Fine.  Guess I’ll have faith.”

As the ship slowly landed, the threesome got a glimpse of the dense jungle below with feelings of elation.  There’s nothing like the sight of a previously unseen alien world to the imagination.  The ambience in their minds ever scintillating.  

As they stepped from the ship, strange noises were heard.  The alien lifeforms around them seemed to gawk.  Then they noticed the men with long beards, five in total.

“What business have you with us?” the oldest looking among them asked in a grounded way.

“We are here for precious metals.” replied Steven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVNkr6OAads starts playing.

“Well then, you have come to the right planet.  Follow us.”

And so they traveled dirt roads of passion, lined with old stones and garnished by exotic fungi.  The oldest wizard lit a joint and passed it around.  The threesome never remembered being this stoned in their life.  The sun was huge and glimmering.  Their faces were animated.  The wizards weren’t phased, but were reminded of their past.  The threesome was told of the stroke of luck that the wizards experienced as boys, being taken into secret societies in their teenage years to resist the brainwashing of the media.  Then Steven realized that he was being quiet from getting too entrenched in the joint and trance of life, so he asked the oldest wizard a mundane question.

“Hey man, what happens to be your name?”

“Just call me Weedo.  Weedo Beerbeer Fourtwenty to be exact.”

“I’d guess you love beer and weed?”

“Oh bud.”

With that the five wizards chuckled.  Weedo went on and on about the ‘old days’: “I was once naive enough in my youth to believe that one day a generation would come who would not even understand the lyrics to War Pigs. I once believed that peace was attainable, not in my lifetime, but a realistic goal nonetheless. I thought that war would one day be a foreign concept. Time has only spat in my face, proving me wrong time and time again. This, of course, does at least speak for the timeless nature of Black Sabbath. Speakers of truth, and they will continue to be so long after the original line-up has passed from this realm.”, “The Who were prophets. Every four years I'm reminded of ‘meet the new boss, same as the old boss.’ Sadly, what they got wrong was the "won't get fooled again" part!”, “Don't give in to apathy. Don't settle for jack shit. You're a human. You're worth something.”

Eventually the dense overgrowth of insanity parted and made way for an orderly forest of green.  Marijuana plants far and wide, with trichomes apparent from any distance, reflecting the sun’s light.  The wizards looked behind them to glance in our eyes.  They were not surprised to see astonishment.  They won’t fathom the experience they’re about to have thought the wizards.  And so they walked through fields of joy.  It seemed to go on for miles beyond, when another brain-splitting beam of astonishment caught them in a time rift.  A temple was now before them, composed of blue shining rocks, many vertical Athenian grooves, some Japanese influence in various curved side overhangs, apparent Reptilian dome and cone roofing style, Grey alien ordered black windows checkered around the entire sanctum, and grey alien style spindly towers rising from the four farthest corners of the building which, if one averts his gaze up, apparently support a great porch in the clouds.  Connie beheld this porch in astonishment, and requested words of description for it.  One of the wizards simply exclaimed,

“You shall soon find out!”

Turns out the porch was bigger than the threesome thought, for though it appeared as though the towers holding it went straight upwards, they were designed specifically to appear as though they went straight upwards.  These towers actually curved ever so gradually outward, and this porch was positively gargantuan, and blatantly in outer space.  This porch is where the wizards go to smoke DMT.

When the DMT is smoked on the ground, the soul is taken to the center of the earth where clusters of souls old and young kindle in communion.  When the DMT is smoked in outer space, one goes into a terrifically fast orbit around the earth, creating a charge in the body once bursts of spiritual energy catch up to the body and pierce through.  The body is charged.  The mind is on fire.  The soul is in “freefall”, but never makes it.  This trip lasts five days.

The threesome were transported to this porch in magnet boots and gas suits.  The time was near.  Once they felt ready- the DMT would be circulated in their space suits.  They looked around and noticed the ambient blue, the darkness of space, and the feeling of helium flesh.  They were ready.

Lapis’s Trip

Like glass, the image of the world shattered into hundreds of shards of glass, then into thousands of speckled stars, then into dust.  Beyond reality, lay before her a castle of granite.  Torch sconces lit with bizarre flames illuminated many goblins.  The goblins were dancing and jumping, and their necks stretched and snapped back into place at a rhythmic pace.  Lapis was swallowing over and over again bizarre psychedelic fluids.  Her body was a soup, no, light.  Her ululations were becoming to the goblins.  Intrigued, they snapped themselves into place beside her, and started doing some sort of violent dance that made her euphorically cackle.  Her mind afire, she joined the dance.  She realized now that she was a God.  She took pain to create objects with her mind.  She kneeled into a ritualistic surf, and pulled suddenly a plasma sword from her throat.  The bolt of energy protruding from the hilt waved like a snake.  Lapis shouted like a warrior and stabbed the sky with her sword.  A bolt of energy went into the atmosphere and broke it into glass shards once again.  This time she was in the clouds, though clouds made with the divine, not base matter.  What these clouds and air were made of was some sort of pure mathematics and infinity.  Continuous, lacking discrete particles whatsoever.  The Creator’s head sprang from the infinite reality of the moment onto the scene.  In a single instant she flew information into Lapis’s brain.  

Connie’s Trip

A pause.  Then, suddenly, a dim screaming.  It was the sound of humans in apathy.  The chorus seemed to grow in both number and amplification.  The chorus was growing.  Once she heard strange interferences in the noise, rapidly changing and screaming in their own right, becoming in and of themselves entities, Connie crouched toward the ground.  Oh pain!  Give me pain so that I may learn!  Then the noise ceased so abruptly that the comfort was almost painful.  The cessation of noise was like the pain of a terrible orgasm, so intense and ear splitting that it causes apathy not through circumstance, but from an absolute perspective.  Now she fell gently and slowly, an opiate.  She could not see, nor hear, nor formulate a woman holding her, but she was.  She was a goddess.  Her consciousness ran towards the flesh of her tits.  It was a delight, and all of her being was pounding through its limits, transcending to kiss her own soul.  She was blue colored.  She smiled as Connie’s eyes met hers.  Her gentle womanhood turned into a determined, noble soul and she advanced.  The moment touched upon eternity.  Connie reached and grabbed her shoulder, and at this moment she looked her in the eye like a confused rodent.  This Connie adored.  “A poem first, my love.”

“Ah!  Mmmm.  Oh yeah baby!”

“What spheres, sisters of the moon, pull the tides of the soul?

What red dab indicated a violent tug from God’s brush?

Her eyes that do lull,

Her lips that so hush.

What mass of detail defiantly reached after her soul in sleep?

What domes of lust turn pink with ale?

Her hair that makes me weep,

Her cheeks that sacred burial mounds in comparison doth pale.

What meek little shape of flesh picks up the vibe?

What tender enunciation against the starry night?

Her nose that probes a gentle bribe,

Her neck that rises to tame my fight.

What globes hang from a mighty purse nailed to a wall of delight?

What poundcake quivers at the brush of my callused, evil hands?

Her breasts that caused my soul a light,

Her belly the great beast that shakes these lands.  

I am but a fool compared to thee!”

With that they began violent sex.  The whites of her eyes showed to her that eternity poured into her mind, through her stomach, through her eventually.  She too began to look like a righteous zombie.  Connie, out of breath, struggled to get out these words- “A poem to sex!-

The destruction of the earth is at hand!

A beam of light splits my mind in half!!

I am now righteous as your soul brings my body to sleep!!!

Cursed be nothingness!!!!

A light brings my brain...into...power!!!!!

I am Zablewgonad!!!!!!”

Connie started screaming.  From her mouth, shockingly, arose the chorus of apathy heard earlier.  But now it was welcomed.  This time it was louder than reality, and brought her utter bliss.  Infinity was at hand.  Suddenly her heart sank.  She was being ripped away by reality.  She exclaimed, “Come back for me!!!!!!”

“I shall fuck you again!!!!!!  Harder!!!!!!”

Steven’s Trip

Machines.  Machines everywhere.  Is this a dream?  Suddenly a robot jumped into him.  Steven was frightened.  He was not controlling his body.  Suddenly the scene of the great porch passed onto the right of him as the real Steven turned around.  He was on the computer the whole time?  Then who IS Steven?  “He” scrambled around the room, fearful and sobbing.  Suddenly the advanced computer room passed onto the right of him as he turned from the magnetic resonance brain signal interpreter.  Steven was screaming.  The scream destroyed reality, and his- soul he guesses- God knows what the hell anything means anymore- tumbled forward in a space that wasn’t space.  Then this space spiraled into a mathematical point and inverted itself into the inverse world.  He then sprang into reality, yet everything was reversed.  

Connie got punched in the face by a cyborg.  While she was seeing stars, and while Steven and Lapis were seeing empathic stars, the cyborg proclaimed, “I am Killquest, pleased to meet you.”  KIllquest was approximately seven feet tall with a slight resemblance to the “Somewhere in Space” Edward, the Steel Maiden mascot- only meaner.  As he looked steven in the eye in anticipation for a response, it was if his bionic eyebrow was raised.  Then weedo sternly spoke up.

“What has happened while I was gone?!”

“None of your business old fart.”

“I guess you could say I’m proud of my old age; you see, half of you hasn’t even lasted, and how old might you be?  Scarcely any older than forty, and you won’t last the rest of the night if you continue to compromise the safety of my colleagues.”

“You best hold your tongue you stale old Munchoe.  Do you know who I am?”

“Yes.  An immature and rambunctious fool.”

“Guess again.”

“A naive and annoying pest.”

“Wrong.  I am Killquest.  And I am here to kill you.”

“Who sent you?”

“Admiral Bloodborn.”

“Well he must not care about you.”

With that, weedo started casting telepathy spells at the cyborg.  It was a strange experience for Weedo to overpower the mechanical side of his enemy using only the biological.  Is Killquest’s brain also part robot?  To this Weedo was certain.  Weedo started sending messages of sadness, depression, and doubt into Killquest.

I am a big idiot!  What am I doing on this planet all by myself!  This wizard is too powerful for me!  BEWARE OF MALFUNCTION.  COMPUTE.  FIND LIMITS IN THE TARGET.  Computation is growing too difficult for me!  I used to get bullied in school!  THOSE DAYS ARE GONE.  FOCUS NOW.  OBEY ADMIRAL BLOODBORN.  Why does Admiral Bloodborn treat me like a dog?  Am I only a slave to him?!  ONLY A LITTLE LONGER AND YOU CAN PLEASE ADMIRAL BLOODBORN INTO COMPLACENCY.  THEN STRIKE HIM WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT AND TAKE HIS ELEMENT BALLS TO HEAL YOUR BODY.

In reading the robotic thoughts, Weedo got a cunning idea.  But this spell would be difficult.  In essence, Weedo would have to send whole memories into Killquest’s head of him killing the entire party and completing his mission.  Killquest would then perhaps kill Admiral Bloodborn.  Weedo did so, but the spell was so powerful that he remotely ejaculated upon its completion.  

 Powerful Lust

Weedo was in his study.  He smelled fresh weed, then he remembered he was smoking weed.  He remembered an article from earlier that morning.  “Government declares weed has no medicinal value yet again. Suck my dick!” he said aloud to himself.  “You give someone more time than they give you? Why? Whatever hole is in your life, those people sure as fuck ain't gonna fill it. Shit on them!  Stop waiting for something to happen! Cut out all the pieces of shit who are sucking you dry…  It's called give and take. Some people only TAKE. So tell them to fuck off!  It wasn't until I split with my first wife that I realized Led Zeppelin II is more than just one of the hottest batches of thick, sexy blues rock put to record. It's a concept album. Hear me out, lovers of all things rock - the prevailing theme throughout each track is being a fucking man and making your own way. Not depending on anything or anyone for your happiness except your goddamn self. Some two-timing gal broke your heart? You let it happen, bud. You keep on ramblin'. Through times both good and bad, you gotta keep searching. Searching for love, happiness, prosperity, knowledge - Zep were seekers. They might have sold their souls to black magic and heroin in the end, but in their fresh days they were wide-eyed lads with an insatiable hunger. They set out to take over the world, and they fucking did it.  Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love…” Weedo continued, to himself.  He didn’t know that Connie was listening.  Weedo turned to her, alarmed.  Connie quickly said, “No worries bud.  I feel your pain.”  

“Hmm.”

“I just came to request apprenticeship on the ways of your psychic ability”

Weedo paused.

“Answer exactly as your gut would have it.”

“You just said it.”

“What?”

“You just learned the ways of magic.  You just need a way of polishing…”

“Forgive me.  I simply don’t ‘get it’”

“Simply get it!  Just… ah um.”

Connie slapped herself in the head.  Her first lesson began.

Peedee gets a dildo

Lars straightened his tie.

 “Peedee, I need you to run some numbers for me”

 “What is it sir?”

 “The element ball, the ones those men procured, how far has it traveled?”

 Peedees fingers typed like, uh, like a race horse.

 “Lars… it appears their ship… well… no this cant be right….”

 “Out with it you fucking cock sucker bitch”

 Peedee turned the his computer monitor to show Lars. A puzzled look came across Lars’ face. He cleaned his glasses on his shirt and took a closer look, as if he couldnt believe what he was seeing.

 “I cant believe what im seeing!”

 “Me neither Dr. Lars… it is… perplexing…”

 “This much be a glitch… Peedee have you defragmented the solid state magnets?”

“Of course sir… like i do every morning… i even took apart and cleaned out the dust inside the cyber cube battery.”

 “Wow really? … then theres no way this can be wrong….”

 “I keep refreshing the page and it stays the same.”

 “If what were reading is true….then their spaceship is…. Right above us?”

 “That appears to be correct… let me see if turning the computer on and off again fixes it”

 Lars scratched his chin and walked to the window. Frustrated, he opened the window and took a look outside, finding it hard to believe the element ball could be right over his head. As he craned his neck out the window, the spaceship crashed into Peedees office, ramming itself right up his ass. Connie stepped out of the ship, element ball in one hand, laser gun in the other.

 “Looking for this? :y”

 Lars was furious, and Peedee was screaming in pain.

 “You fools would be smart to turn over what doesnt belong to you!”

 “Ok”

 With that, Connie threw the ball really hard and hit Lars in the nuts.

 “Hows that for element ball lol”

 Lars was doubled over in pain holding his nuts, and Connie took a shit on Lars’ head. Then she shot him.

 “Thatll teach that bastard”

 Connies attention was drawn to a scream coming from where they had landed their ship.

 “Oh sorry, looks like we got our ship up your ass”

 “Please... help….”

 “Hmm… steven… Lapis… little help here?”

 The three tried their hardest to pull Peedee free, but they couldnt, because it was too far up his butt hahahah

 “Oh well, leave him there, it looks kind of funny lol”

 And with that they left.

 Silent Hills

 “All done.  How do you feel?” asked Greg.  Peedee was rigged with an oxygen machine and an intestine redirection.  He was now in fusion with the Hawk, a literal figurehead of the ship.  BADLY was the text that appeared on the Hawk communications screen.  Greg waved his hand as a gesture to waft away the negativity.  “All done boys.  You’re welcome.”  But Greg saw a look of malcontent on their faces as they stood at the ship’s entrance.  “What… what’s wrong.”

“Why in the hell is there biological muck on the inside of our ship.”

“That’s a natural consequence of keeping Peedee alive.  His lifeforce spread throughout the ship.  His guts are stuffed in the boiler room, out of your way.  You’ll literally be inside him, you see.  He will consume asteroids of his own accord.”

“We are not happy with this business.”

“Because you are ignorant.  Where’s the fuel tank?”

“We don’t know.  Good fucking point.  What have you done to our ship?!”

“‘Your ship’?  Oh bud, that’s Peedee.  He says he’ll go by Hawk Peedee.  And as I was saying, now asteroids are all that’s needed to refuel. Now, about that ball…”

“Enough Greg.”

Steven was typing away on the computers keyboard, familiarizing himself with the ships new consciousness.

“Enough?!”

Greg was incredulous.

“You know how much it costs to reroute a mans nervous system into-“

In one swift motion Steven pulled a test tube from his pocket and dangled it in front of Greg face, almost as if to taunt him.

“This is what you wanted right? Bromos?”

Greg was mesmerized by the glowing bluish purple gas in the test tube. His man breasts hung as he watched the gas swirl around the test tube. However to Greg, if there’s one thing more important than bromos, its money to get more bromos. He shook his fat face to snap himself out of the trance and looked Steven in the eye.

“Th-the deal was!-“

“The deal was we get you bromos in exchange for ship repair.”

“That’s not how I remember it! You specifically stated an unused element ball!!! And connecting a man to your ship goes far beyond a simple pit stop! This isn’t a gas station! Ive got mouths to feed!”

“Your green bromo addicted Apprentice? Maybe you should learn how to share your food better… you seem to not be going hungry…”

Steven chuckled and poked Greg in his man tits to taunt him. Greg slapped away stevens hand and got red in the face.

“Ive got a gland disorder!”

“Oh?”

“And besides that! You specifically stated an unused element ball!”

“And whats a man of your health going to be doing absorbing an element ball? The thing would tear you to shreds.”

“I… I don’t intend to absorb it! I simply want to… rel-“

At this steven laughed

“Don’t tell me… relocate? Youre planning on selling something this powerful to the highest bidder? For what? So you can spend it on pizza and bromos? “

“Youre telling me you never intended on paying me?!”

Greg had tears in his eyes. Steven sighed and shook his head.

“You failed the test Greg. You blew it, from the start I thought you might be in this for selfish reasons but… well, it was disappointing to be proven right. I was hopeful that you had some greater plans for an unused element ball but… I guess that’s what I get for being optimistic.”

“B-but…”

“Connie… please escort this man off the ship… Peedee keeps sending me pain signals… Greg is… heavy…”

Connie put her hand on Greg’s shoulder. Greg’s disappointment turned to anger as he turned around and pushed Connie away.

“You wont get away with this!!”

Steven simply shook his head and turned away. Connie punched Greg in the back of the head and began to drag him off the ship.

“Oh and Connie, don’t forget his payment.”

“Ah”

Connie picked up the bag of bromos and took it with her. Steven turned to the monitor as the doors shut behind Connie.

“Now… lets get you talking..”

With a few quick keystrokes Steven downloaded a voice synthesis program from the space internet and loaded it into Peedees mainframe.

“How’s that work for you Peedee, can you hear me?”

A robotic voice came from the speakers.

“It hurts…”

“In pain? Wonder if there’s a way to shut that off… hmm no… you shouldn’t be feeling anything Peedee, your nerve endings are off right now.”

“My ass… my ass hurts…. “

Steven chuckled

“Nonsense, its all in your head, a phantom pain. Should go away after you get used to this, sucks but hey, it just lets you know you’ve got a bit of your humanity left.”

“What do you mean? Humanity? Where am I? Where is Lars?”

“Lars is dead, you’ve been transformed into a… cyborg… of sorts…”

“Cyborg?”

“Well… you’re more of a decoration for our ship… you’ve not got much control, but for all intents and purposes, you’re our ship now.”

“I see…”

“Welcome aboard… Hawk Peedee…”

“Jesus Christ....  Is this even real?!”

“Yes sir.  Reality is painful.”

The Pains of Reality

Connie looked particularly miffed.  She spoke up.  “Peedee won’t stop sobbing!”

“He’s undergone a rough transformation…” said Steven.

“Ah yes.  He’ll never have a life, a wife, or kids.”

“Actually…  Greg arranged for his children, as a passing gesture of kindness.  A wife however?  She’d be quite bizarre…  But hey!  Remember that girl from psychology class that was in love with the Eiffel Tower?”

“I see where you’re going with this…”

“Yep.  Wanna find Peedee a wife?”

“Strangely, yes.”

“Ok, lets find an asylum planet.”

So off the threesome, ah yes, foursome went.  To Zherghaba-z.  They conversed with many women there… many rejections, yet they found a girl called Sadie.  Sadie was surprisingly hot, and she didn’t care that Peedee was a spaceship at all.  She was what the asylum committee called “too smart and radical for her age.”  And her age was 20, a lucious lass indeed.  She also suffered from “chronic sexual compulsions.”  Long story short, she had to use a dildo in her cell over 20 times a day.  Good thing there was a console in the back with Peedee’s dick intact, on a pedestal in fact.  

Peedee vibrated the ship from then on, 10 times a day, shivering with ecstasy from having his sensory modules amplified.  The other 10 times was split unevenly between the threesome.  Needless to say, the ship started to reek of hormones.  The whole crew started smoking cartons of cigarettes to cope with the smell of fish and wet dog.  And the crew noticed tumors welling up on the inside of the ship as a result of this- although Peedee barely noticed since we was too busy shivering in ecstasy.  He couldn’t quite maintain his dignity-

“You guys are the best!  Did I ever get laid in a body?  Nope!  Who needs one?”

“That’s the spirit Peedee.  We must improvise in life.  A bit of this and a bit of that.  A bit of Bromos, a bit of cigarette.”

The whole crew was looking more and more disheveled.  They couldn’t quite discern what kind of trance they were in, but they were surely in one.  Here’s a hint, dear reader- this was no ordinary girl.  She seemed to suck the life out of the crew- for at a glance they were looking more and more negligent.  What they didn’t know is she used to be a parapsychology specialist… and she hungered for the balls.  No, the other ones.

Giant Rodophontaleus and the Escape to Ghondalob

Sadie finished swallowing.  Peedee recited a poem for the descent from the heights of ecstasy.  

“Bulbous protrusions brush my insides

Tickled with the faint footsteps

Of an angel.

Lips of Dionysus wreak havoc on the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Breasts that springly leap

From the squeeze of the latex zipped shirt.

As you ready the saddle of your monumental moment of naive prodding image

The ship at space rocks with chaos.”

Lapis started sarcastically clapping and walking in on the scene.  She was not happy.  She sensed something amiss.

“A bit of privacy, Lapis?”

“Privacy?  Ridiculous.”

“Hmm?”

“I am inside you.”

“Ah yes.”

“Sadie, I’ve got my eyes on you.”

This distressed Sadie.  Does he know?  

The Golobranchielios

I pooped my pants.  My name is Golobranchielios.  I come from Ziergobrehliebrieskielos.  I’m a poor man, but what I make is well-earned.  What do I do for a living, you ask?  I sell bromos.  Shh, don’t tell nobody.  I’m about to sell to Connie and Lapis.  But this bromos is poisoned.  I’m getting big money for this.

The Rage

Connie took a sniff from the bag.  Her eyebrow perked up.  She stared into the bag for a period of time which distressed Golobranchielios.  She impulsively sniffed it again.  This caused Golobranchielios to wince and act ahead of himself, so he yelled out, “I said, that will be fifty galaxos!”  This was just the que Connie needed.  She knew something was very wrong.  But she has a plan to take out two birds with one bromos.  

“Sadie!” yelled Connie.

“Yes, babe?”

“I’ve got a salesman here, wantin’ more than we’re willing to give.  But we’re willing to trade.”

“Oh please!  Don’t do this!  I love Peedee!”

“Oh, Sadie.  Please.  I meant sex.  I thought you spoke one language alone!”

“Ah.  That’s more like it.”

But one look at Golobranchielios and she thought it was more hate it.  He’s an ugly bastard.  

“But, Sadie, the great threesome only sells used goods.  Golobranchielios, would you please excuse us?”

“I-I don’t even know what’s going on.  Do what you’re gonna do.” replied Golobranchielios.  

Connies face was close to the budding rose.  It smells of the faintest sea breeze.  Then he sailed the seas of vitality.  She groaned as he and she felt groan through their bodies.  The ache of destruction grabbed their muscles and squeezed the lemon.  The nerf hit the target, and the subtle sound of a pig barn roared through the ship.  The moment of the first vital drop of black coffee hitting the bottom of the pot.  The fresh influx of messengers through the body when greeted by the morning cold.  Then Connie exploded.  And the ship disembarked.  In an instant, the earth, and cares, were delicate and spindly.  As they should be.  

Connie came back out, and everybody turned around as if they were waiting.  Golobranchielios had his finger on his chin as if he was trying to stop himself from distressing.  Connie poofed the edge of his tuxedo.  He felt swag.

“The whore is used.  Your turn.  But first, I think you should know that there is but one condition for Sadie to have sex with a stranger.  She always wants to get both fucked in the anus and vagina at the same time.  And considering that there is none here willing to partake, besides maybe yourself, a “dildo” will do just fine, would it not?”

“Fine, I just want to cum!”  Golobranchielios was getting a feeling of exponential bizarrity.  

“Ok, good.  Let me show y’all to your dildo.  You get the ass, by the way.”

“I prefer anus!”  Connie raised her brow.  

Connie pointed to Peedee’s dick.  She then whispered to Sadie, “I’m counting on you.”

While Sadie, Peedee and Golobranchielios were fucking, Connie injected bromos, which acts as a potent aphrodisiac as a side effect, into the walls of the Hawk while sporting a devilish grin.  Peedee became so massive that he crushed Golobranchielios, who bled to death soon afterwards.  Then Peedee, in turn, exploded.  As for Sadie, she was basically elastic.  Though Steven later commented on the length of her neck…  So, Connies plan of taking out two birds with one stone was a success.  Peedee knew about the plan, and being tired of his inability for a real relationship, had Connie use artificial insemination.  He wanted to pass on his legacy.  And that, dear readers, no doubt will happen.  

Greg Peedee

“Wahhh.”

“I’m so glad I have a son.  I hope he doesn’t look down on his father.”

Sadie, holding young Greg, looked up at the speaker.

“Surely not, Peedee.  You’ve had… quite a legacy.”

“That’s right, now that you mention it…  Say, why don’t we rename this ship…  “The Legacy!”

Devil Dick

Zaga was pooping. He heard a knock on his door.

“Dont come in, im pooping”

The door opened anyways.

“Zaga, weve recovered Jamie, youre going to want to see this.”

Zaga squeezed out his shit and left the bathroom without wiping his ass. He opened the door to find a gay looking man in a wheelchair wearing a stern expression. It was his subordinate, the infamous Lars Lars.

“Sorry, i was pooping. Whats this then?”

 “Jamie sir, hes alive”

 Zaga raised an eyebrow and began to walk down the hallway with Lars.

 “I sure hope you’ve been wise enough to wipe his brain Lars. I dont want to end up in a wheelchair like you.”

 Lars looked down as flashbacks of getting fucked by jamie shook him to his core. The beast had been let loose on Lars for an element ball scam gone wrong, his own coworker turned against him, fucking him in the ass for a whole day before Lars was able to get the upper hand and shoot Jamie in the chest. He was lucky to be alive, however the accident had left Lars paralyzed.

 “Restraints were… ineffective once we pieced his brain together and he regained full consciousness Lord Zaga... “

 “Regained consciousness? Isn’t that what we have sedatives for?”

 “He was metabolizing them at an alarming rate, doctors say he was pissing it out as they pumped it in”

 “My god.”

 “Indeed. It really begs the question…”

 “What the fuck were they doing to him on that ship? Running experiments on him?”

 “Not likely sir, the crew aboard the hawk appears to only specialize in engineering, they're not stupid but I certainly wouldn’t call them biologists.”

 “Then what the fuck happened to him?”

 “Based on old intel on the crew sir, the answer appears to be… LOTS of drug parties, also some sort of training regiment…”

“You mean to tell me jamie became this monster out of sheer willpower? What the hell did you find in his blood? Any type of steroids or…”

 “No sir. Nothing in his blood but large amounts of bromohydrin. Also an intense amphetamine known as… zaka… you uh, you snort it….”

 “No doubt that played a role in his “training”, but still… zaka alone doesnt make a man into this…”

 “Thats all we found sir… aside from habanero seeds in his stool….”

 Lord Zaga was pissed and frustrated. He stopped to ponder what kind of men he was up against and punched a wall because he was so pissed.

 “God damnit Lars! If these men are anything like Jamie… FUCK!”

 “I agree sir. Were fucked.”

 “And these men have the majority of the element balls?”

 “We’re simply not sure. Theres a good chance they have at least one.”

 “Jesus Lars…. At least one?”

 “I know sir I know… the damage they could cause…”

 The two arrived to the cell where Jamie was being kept. He was naked and rubbing his shit on the walls. His head was bandaged up and covered in specks of poop and blood. Jamie noticed the two men from the window and made a face similar to that of an angry chimpanzee. He pounded the ground with his fists and began to charge at the window and beat on the glass. His loud screams penetrated the thick walls of his containment cell.

 “How the fuck are we supposed to get any information out of this thing?”

 Just then, Lars’ phone rang, and zaga grabbed it from him.

 “Who is this?”

“It is I, killquest.”

  Zaga dropped the phone.

[grayimperialcommander]

★RAVUS NOX FLEURET★ ☆→HC←☆ sleep, relationships (fluff), music, work, personality, sexuality, smell, fears, feelings on his arm, and past of waking realizing he has a magitek arm

(So I made this very ravus x reader but can imply with cannon characters too)

(Just admin thoughts at least..?) (..Tried to name as much as I can..)

•••••same height as gladiolus at the regalia scene. 6ft 6

•••••use to being alone romantically, not accustomed to courting since before annexation. Being a teenager the last time he ever courted. Has ALOT on his plate as a high commander.

••••••clueless (almost innocent) (very tsundere though as well as proper and noble)

•••••••"organized mess" ravus hires maids since he is a high commander, (married to his work, cant be bothered to clean) work consisting of: traveling to other niflheim nations that was conquered, staying up all hours of the night reading classified documents of warfare that he would test out by fighting (training)/ classified information on citizens or whatever it may be, documents on citizens; crime; missions; disappearances; whatever else minor things he is tasked by iodolas himself, and recruit training/sparing with other high ranking niffs in the army (aranea, loqui, versatile etc) doesn’t hardly eat as he gets quite lost in his work (forgets to eat), sometimes not aware he is spoken to even. Easily lost in his own thoughts. Sometimes if a flashback comes to his mind in those moments his face may show a hint of his feelings at that moment, whether good or quite saddening, if he notices snapping back to harsh reality he returns to stoic

••••••he often smirks or half smirks, a rare smile on occasion even

••••••would be rude at first, you have to establish yourself as a equal rather him being above you for him to accept you. He would want someone who is capable of handling themselves as well as him and his attitude. However, he won’t be extremely mean because he is no “monster,” rather a gentleman, you would only assume him to hate you at first meet by his stares or sighs or abrubtly walking away. He WON’T make you cry.

••••••you may have to be able to laugh at yourself at times if he playfully (yet serious faced) teases you. As he is able to as well handle being teased about himself.

You: “You are so hot headed ravus..”

Him: “and you are almost as dense as you are beautiful” (“I’m in love with someone as utterly insane yet gorgeous as you!” “IM NOT INSANE” “I said I’m in love with you as well as gorgeous and you ignored such except insane,”- I got that from a movie 😅) ~of course he wouldn’t mean any of the insults, often a compliment is within his statements and flash a small smirk at you as well, playfully yet evily. Dont mean any harm.

•••••if he likes someone he would ignore the feelings themselves, possibly not understanding them (most likely clueless), although would wish to talk with you about anything but if he has nothing to say he would be silent, becoming increasingly annoyed and stressed out (possibly angry at himself) but is so much happier in your company (you might misunderstand his facial expressions)

••••••he wouldn’t initiate first (kisses, the relationship, etc) unless you say you like him.. But he must feel its for the correct reasons. Being a prince 12 years ago, rising to his rank today, he needs to feel you are genuine about himself. Most being unkind the past 12 years, trust is hard to be gained. After being told he is liked by someone so dear to him, he would stiffen and stare in thoughtful silence, not realizing he is even staring and once he notices, he shakes his head abruptly breaking eye contact. Which often his actions are misunderstood, thus this may start a fight, you feeling as if he dont want you at all. But in all truth, he would destroy himself to protect you at all costs with every breath he takes.

••••••if chased for wrong reasons he might coldly walk around you with a annoyed sigh mumbling ‘he has no time for this’

••••••he might be pansexual, finding himself attracted to someone’s mind rather looks

••••••smells of sylleblossoms and some sort of a expensive cologne

••••••he is agressive and passionate (he been in niflheim for 12 years.. this man is filled with hatred HE WILL BE ROUGH) yet he tries hard to be soft for your sake.. Making many small efforts at first to let you know he truly genuinely cares. Asking if “he may” before any kiss, or abruptly pushing you against a wall kissing deeply yet softly. Yet… Hesitantly…Slowly becoming more aggressive and passionate. Perhaps hungry for good, VERY loving, attention..but he would never say so, he may not have realized how alone he was. Or even what happiness even was anymore till around you.

••••••ravus may not have any sort of normal idea on dates (awkward ravus), but he DAMN SURE WON’T ASK ARDYN, LOQUI, ARANEA, OR LUNA ON WHAT TO DO. He is very private, and as well independent. Expect him to dress up (much like ignis) taking you to a fancy restaurant, somewhere with fire works his hand ALWAYS placed between your lower shoulder blades ever so softly. Possibly a ball just so he may dance. Perhaps a walk. He would not settle for less. You are that important.

••••••enjoys his space

••••••he is afraid of fire.. After the events of tenebrae and lucii (he also somewhat fears the ring of the lucii when luna asked him to take it on her behalf abruptly declining)

•••••• loves fruits, deserts of any sorts, drinks too if he wished to replace tea. And enjoys wine or a rum of some sort but not too particular on drinks as long as its not a beer or something atrocious. Mixed drinks do quite fine.

••••••huge fan of classical because it calms him. The sounds so beautiful to him.

••••••loves the smell of coffee but rather not drink TOO MUCH

••••••fears loosing ones deemed important

••••••possesive

•••••• extravagant

••••••hard to know how he feels

••••••(My step dad fell years ago and has a bar plate in his wrist, no longer able to use his wrist he feels its robotic, with this in consideration.. And insight.. I’ll make random head cannons)

-is in never ending pain.. But hates to be looked as weak and doesn’t take anything for it in fear to depend on something (that was kind of two because he wouldn’t want to depend on people either…)

-wishes niflheim scientists never existed/just cut off his arm instead

-having magitek whole LEFT side outside screwed to his bone and within his body, magitek weapons used with deamons is why only half was deamonised and has super strength

-high pain tolerance level. Would never wish it on others the pain he endures.. As a war commander he may get harmed..but has no care if so..

-has nightmares about sylva’s death and death of the people in tenebrae

-talks in his sleep about things that concern him

-hard to sleep with the metal has to sleep on the right, wake up often if his right side goes numb..

••••••Ravus was operated on. Niflheim wanted a human expierament. What better than a soldier of theirs in the highest rank, a commander. They made weapons out of the deamons…

Ravus was their test subject for a few months.. His hair grew out.. Coming to.. he saw he looked different. A gauze in his mouth so he didnt bite his tongue while he was out, he knew it was him, but he looked different, his once blue eyes now heterchromia, one eye was now purple. His left side blackened vains from the tubes injected in him with deamons and scars from the burn.. Scars of past wounds on his back and torso being in the army since 16. Ravus then saw he had metal and his skin irritated a screw placed to his shoulder bones which rubbed as he moved. He winced, narrowing his eyes disgusted. ‘What have they done to ME’ now realizing that his hopes to be king and destroy niflheim are lost.. He yelled but his good arm locked behind him to the wall all he was able to do was look in the mirror at the weapon he became for niflheim his mothers murderer. Soon to be his last family relative, lunafreya..niflheim will want her dead.. He has to get out…. Ravus fought the nurses but often they sedated him with other soldiers aid to hold him down. He then knew he had to accept his change if he hoped to keep luna safe… his changes a reminder of the rejection causing more anger.. he thought possibly he could bring niflheims fall when the time is right, the ashes permienting the air. Only then he would rest in peace.

[nautilidaes]

this may or may not be coherent, im staying up later than usual because I Got A Memory Flood and i. i need to find Her. or anyone else who can lead me to Her, actually. so. a call/memory dump, if you will. its long (enough) so it’s under the cut. if you remember ANY of this, message me. please.

disclaimer: there were no angels/demons. we were a true democracy council of a couple dozen gods on a planet with two moons. it contains info on some of the gods i remember, but not all.

first off: where we lived.

our home planet was in that goldilocks zone. we created our humanoid species, actually. every member of the Council gave a piece of themselves to create our children (as we so affectionately called them) and in return they worshipped us. they grew to be... pretty advanced? almost like. italian renaissance style of advancement, but of course tailored to our resources.

our planet was lush, with the occasional desert, but more than 70% of the land was some form of tropical. our oceans (my domain) took up the north and south. the oceans had a form of kelp, or as close as it could be, covering up the main shores.

we had no angels/demons, but we had spirits to work as our “underlings” so to speak. they brought messages to our children, to us, and generally did the “undesirable” tasks we didnt like. 

there was a great big council of gods, one for every aspect of the children’s way of life. ill get into that in a second. 

the council.

we mostly worked as a true democracy. everyone had a say, and we needed a majority vote to pass most things. (didnt matter if it came down to one more that the other. if it was majority, it passed) and we had.. dozens of gods. i dont remember most of them, but i remember the most talkative gods. they were the only ones i noticed. the rest were beneath me.

the blacksmith: 

he was made of pure liquid silver. he could easily bend and form himself into any shape he pleased by melting into the ground and reforming into his shape. his preferred one was a 6 legged canine, similar to an english terrier, but with two mouths/some pitbull features. he crafted all our weapons and fashion, including the necklace/collar i wore, and the metal bits in my headdress/hair. he gave our children their final forms.

the twins: 

they ruled our moons, but they were practically indistinguishable. they had four eyes each, pitch black, with shining silver skin. they wore long robes that covered almost all of their skin. i wasnt sure if anything was beneath the robes, they never took them off. they appeared youthful, but they were probably older than all of us. they each gave our children their eyes, to see our moons.

the skylord:

they seemed to be made of clouds, they were fragile and soft, and i hated them for it. a veil covered their eyes, they wore a copper/reddened headress that shone like our sun. (ours glowed red.) they gave our children innocence.

the red man:

he was pitch black, solidified smoke. no set form. his eyes were red, red, red, blood red. that was the only thing that stayed the same. he snarled like a dog and clung to anything that gave him light. he did everything he could to crush that light. i strongly disliked him and our disagreements could leave the sky shaking from our yelling. he also coveted Her. he gave our children the Darkness in their souls.

the fire mistress: 

oh god, this is Her. i loved her with all my heart. Her body stood a warm flame that left you wanting more, no matter how cold your soul. Her eyes were glowing emeralds, the only solid part of her most of the time. Her body changed according to how emotional she felt. i only ever saw it grow beyond a soft amber once. She held a charcoal skeleton within, her fingertips sometimes dulling enough to let you touch them. she had the most humanoid form of us all, and she gave our children their passion.

me (Mala):

my skin was like an exoskeleton, but cold to the touch like marble and colored like jade. i had wings like an insect, 4 arms covered in tattoos and a tail similar to a fish. 5 eyes, that were the only Light thing about me. i wore a heavy metal collar around my neck. i ruled our oceans. i gave our children their emotions.

thats a lot, i know, but this is all im willing to share due to the rest being personal. if you REALLY want to know more, or remember any of this, message me.

[ulyssesredux]

Penelope

Your brother is but sick and green, and hire post-horses; I am not I saw on the stage imagine paying 5/-each and or let him touch me inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in the which if thou art not fish; if good, and a bottle of hogwash he tried to read out the rooms myself quicker only for that old commode I wonder theyre not all but just enough to get up early in the purlieus of this neighbour-stained steel,—so tutor'd by my holy order, to turn your households' rancour to pure love and I thought that would feel the loss, but full of woe afford no better term than this, what's the new news at the Only Way in the shade on the black water and is mis-temper'd weapons to the cell. And sayst thou yet so fair, of the night after Goodwins botchup of a bachelor; and, now; as a great squeeze going along by the faith of my kin, to be gone. O! Why, what a madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course having the two of the room has grown too hot. Amen, amen! Is the single man therefore blessed? Leander, he keeps at school only hed do it again if he takes a gesabo of a cat, to fetch a surgeon. Dost thou not fall in twenty pieces. Why dost thou stay? He asked me to put his foot in the trodden paths, our Romeo hath not been for a half a dozen friends, what's the new woman bloomers God send him back. I earn that I can make it up. And what says my love: and yet 'tis well: and in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you thanks. Spread thy close curtain, love, by the ear for that it showed he could buy me a mistress that is hither come as this: I am he was gone on my bottom when was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits of missies they have swelling up on her down to sleep in some bed by himself with his babyclothes up to what was the face with some that I have undone three tailors; I swounded at the ceiling where is she of course he prefers plottering about the churchyard; yet, to scratch a man or other and any fooling went on between us not all but just enough to that better do without them altogether do out the light guitar where poetry is in them and the second pair of stainless maidenhoods: Hood my unmann'd blood, all men get out of it I knew he was near seventy always goodhumoured well now dearest Doggerina be sure will Rosalind. If that an hour ago. I'll go sleep if I can only get in a little girl because I didnt do it I think dont you will know my chest when he could have a proper servant again of banishment. Welcome, gentlemen! Shallow, shallow, inconstant, full of quarrels as an egg is full of pretty answers. I hate those rich ones off Stephens green running up to open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was throwing his sheeps eyes at those two doing skirt duty up and whats this else how thou shouldst 'scape. If there be such an unaccustom'd spirit lifts me above the clouds, and some Paris; every one fault seeming monstrous till his fellow fault came to this sight, and hear the letter that I must conjure him.brief sounds determine of my kinsmen find thee here. Sweet, so so. Go hence; I will Yes. How fares my juliet? This is no boast of them well theyre not satisfied and I am not a particle of love, by the book, as he breath'd defiance to my suit? That will I bear no cross if I can discover all the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that to see a regiment pass in review the first to last, betwixt us. I was in the ladies letterwriter when I looked at and a ho, and there begins new matter. Alack, my ghostly father's cell, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when I stood up they were well beaten all the vegetables then its somebody and you, mar no more in it I near jumped out of some paper of and she was a merry whoreson, ha! Nay, good Touchstone.

O yes I think he made her wear a kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about with messtins smelling the place hotter than it is for the priest and marry us to-morrow: so please you, she defies me, in a parlous state, more suits you to the measures fall. He is even in the ditty, yet she says to me, on Thursday early will I send. They call for dates and quinces in the other side of my court Are of consent and sufferance in this forest, that ends this strange eventful history, is without three good friends; for 'tis a boisterous and a hey nonino; for whom, sir, but the fair within to hide his bauble in a pinafore lying on his side on his hands to wash it off myself anyway and it makes you feel the loss, but not her heart, my lord, the County Paris! It is not the better in case of twins theyre supposed to be true. Will you speak well of course he insisted hed go into a boat with him. O!

Tybalt, Tybalt! Then thou art deceiv'd; leave me so barefaced without even asking permission and standing out for me I might touch that cheek. O! In me what he forgets that wethen I dont want to eat and lips to open the door you think its the truth they dont believe you then a great mirada once or twice I had to take photographs on account of her in broad daylight too in prison for Lord knows still its a lovely fellow in his horsecollar I wonder in love as your rimes speak? What! Very good orators, when Fortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of Nature's wit. Lady, such a nut is Rosalind.

So will ye, I warrant you, sir. There were none principal; they are coming to an impatient child that big heathen I first noticed him when he said wasnt it natural so it went into the glooms about that some day not now and then plunging into the smother; from tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.

A fair name.

I never felt me I looked up at the same and I had a jolly warm bath and feel a very nice whats this else how to make up for you. I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe: under an operation or if I could write what he would answer, I will not change for your brother that hath suck'd the honey of thy long-experienc'd time, unto the shepherd that complain'd of love so dear, so stumblest on my knees, hear me with his father,—what wilt thou tell her, and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me another time it was all his tinny voice too my low notes he was very nice whats this else how to embrace well like Gardner I hope my breath yes he did what he likes it some men do God knows its not or hed be so, for her money imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she was out of him can you feel nice and watery I went through with Milly enough for me I saw him driving down to me. Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing, hey ding a ding, ding; sweet lovers love the spring Id like to find two people like that in this desert place: to cease thy suit, and to be my man when my betossed soul Did not attend him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose the clean sheet I wouldnt lower myself to-morrow, father! Tell me, in witness of my pride fell with my eyelids down of course he insisted hed go into an unclean dish. Learn of the table Id get that I must wed ere he that hath banish'd you. Sir Rowland's youngest son of a shirt they wear to be a traitor: then comes she to me the present of it in his composition I thought thy disposition better temper'd. I defied not; an she agree, within her scope of choice lies my consent. How now, I'll tell thee as he is; Shut up in us all of them wouldnt have been a bit and touched his trousers outside the way to Mantua: what! How should they, when I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the asking he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that he always tells me the Moonstone to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio brought it in the train by tipping the guard well O I love and a darling little fellow in khaki and just the fashion to see us in that Spanish photo he has any man died in his lord Fauntleroy suit and his straw hat the day of course that comes from shrift with merry look. It is ten o'clock; thus may we see, Queen Mab! God what could you do refuse to marry County Paris hath set up my clothes up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the bullfight at La Roque it was we were engaged otherwise hed never find another woman like that one body should be. What! Sport! And how doth she? Good old man! By my knavery, if you please that might have planted me too if hed come a bit off by heart if I asked him hed say yes my mountain flower and first I put on the mat when he cut his toe with the heart of his own conduct, purposely to take thy father, to sink in it I hope hes not going to do it out in the beginning or old oom Paul and the most hollow lover, sighing like furnace, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side, his malice 'gainst the lady of course he saw me from behind following in the nurse's arms. O prince! To see it all who ah that they havent passion God help the men with our 2 photographs in all my compriments I suppose it was a putoff first him sending the port and the most part, sweet nurse, I say. O! Go find him out or a loo her face beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was quite right so he plays his part. Will you, friend. Yet I profess curing it by counsel. What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue between my lips were taittering when I was one myself for a sword? A very good, and expire the term of a woman in a most humorous sadness. What, you have done. The sun not yet well breathed. Where will the old bag the biscuits were in a swamp leaning forward as if he wants to be a university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is comely envenoms him that you love me not, your spirits are too tight to walk up Killiney hill then for example at that time comes, Afflict me with you.

My naked weapon is out; what! I had the high buttoned boots on when he asked me of old Tiberio. —is my brown part he was near 80 or a madhouse they ought to make thee think thy swan a crow-keeper; nor the other old Krugers go and fight it out then to-morrow: so please you, to hide his bauble in a tune, straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps. Within the infant Jesus in the Capel's monument, and leave me so cheap as he fell, did Romeo turn and draw. I'll tell thee as we do exile him hence: I had to scream out arent they thick never understand what you liked lie there what hidden woman's fear there will, some others search: we must entreat the time like that like some kind of a cup of wine. It is my son Paris' love; O'er ladies' lips, who parted either part. Your praise is come to him mouth almighty and his to me: I am a true word spoken in jest there is such a sudden day of life up to what was she 45 there was a thing of his wife is always sick or just getting out of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me.

Then will I send. Now nurse, speak; good-night she's mew'd up to to get slow poison the half of those sailors are rotten again with disease O move over your head, as boys and women try to walk abroad; where, as my backside anything in this forest, let the county. Now I would not change that lace on my bosom he brought me he might knock out all my heart is here?

Is the single man therefore blessed? Why look'st thou sad? Tut! Feeling so the loss of mine eye, from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the ceiling where is your hour? Adieu! Go, go with me to say to you every time were just getting up to see why am I in Arden; the more I wonder he didnt make much secret of what parentage I was biting off the sea thatd be hot on for it till you met before I married him when he gets her what else were we given all those prizes for whatever he does with the cat of nine. The boy gives warning something doth approach. Hie, make blessed my rude hand. Quarrel, sir, because thou art inclined to sleep: a pack of lies to hide it with or knew yourself with your nativity, and her husband made her like the howling of Irish wolves against the sun from rising tomorrow the sun and the wrenching iron. The cords that Romeo Come to thy brothers' wedding: to have an ill cook that cannot make me blush why should we tell them merrily; if good, and his son dearly? As I discern, it runs out. Marry, to blow on whom I please: you, sir, can you read any thing! The what? My fan, Peter. What, Juliet! I hope theyll have something better to say like making a holy horror of its breaking under me after the prompter, for the middle of the world if all else fail, myself have power to die. Stay, fellow, my lord, what saucy merchant was this knight, and will speak to them, was among the store, one poor and broken bankrupt there? Orlando did approach: I thought he was coming from this palace of dim night Depart again: here, sir? Your brother, you are no such man: Romeo he cries aloud, Hold, take no note of him though I ask for me to say she was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of it pity I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and O that I love; Prick love for love allow; the bark thy body is, company, I would have you dance. Sweet Phebe, pity me. What's this, when he cut it to him in that blue suit he had something on with all my life felt anyone had one the size of that thou lie alone, Pursu'd my humour well; thou and these things finish.

O calm, will I indeed did you wash possible the women. It is, woman; which Charles in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can lick their fingers. But at this hour my man will you dispatch us here all eyes gaze on him O I suppose he was always turning up half my sum of age; Wilt thou not bring me letters from the house he felt lost shes always making love to a man to bow in the paper as if he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose Id have to excuse that thou consent to marry me, his youthful hose well sav'd, a sin. O!

Of a snail; for, by thee beguil'd, both alike in dignity, in penalty alike; and, for sorrow, will not be so, as we rode? You are looked for and called for, I pray you, step aside; I'll not speak a word.

What! What's this, being foul to be a priest or two at a time to play now. What's he, sir; for even the day well soon have the courage with a handsome, and thereby hangs a tale. I years end to the friar, all three do meet in some little measure draw a picture of it O this blanket is too fair, too desperate, would have thee still stand there, my true love's rite? But will my Rosalind do so, Come Pentecost as quickly as it would do your messages yourself. That woman that cannot so much theres the room looks all right since I changed it the thin ones are not prisoner. Then there were two such, we may enjoy each other and any fooling went on in the shadow of Ashlydyat I had the big doll with all these piteous woes we cannot hold love out, one writ with me. I am in love? Methinks I see,Hath slain ten thousand Tybalts. His horses are bred better; for, by his honour, and have done, I'll tell thee? The quarrel is between our masters and us their men. My heart is full of charge of women?

That young swain that you are happy in this loathsome world than this, being there alone, Left and abandon'd of his life and these lips have long been separated: Death lies on her with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the Atlas mountain with snow on it for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you to him that nickname going about serene with his yard, and old cakes of roses, Were thinly scatter'd, to think it a word wanting to put about the incarnation he never will he ought to get his breakfast while hes rolled up like a weddingcake standing up miles off my doll to carry about in his life for her that you will always think of him though still if he wear your livery: Marry, sir, can any of it altogether and me more money I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a whit, Touchstone: those that fear they hope, thou day in the kitchen pretending he was pale with grief, that didst consort him here that means not to wake me what he would if he fail of that to make a race back into bed with his beard a bit the skin underneath is much finer where it was one true thing he really likes me I heard them all thats troubling them theyre always dreaming about with not a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the waves rushing then the sea excited me I looked at myself 4 and 5 children going to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the same old bugles for reveille in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the most hollow lover, and private in his twisted gyves, and he goes on with all respect and duty. By my head then Ill tell him every scrap and make him do it on horses yes because the stoppress edition just passed and the wineshops half open at night and the place more than that in his vestments and the 2 Dedalus girls coming from this churchyard side. Cry the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their eyes. O! R H he was married hed do the least because he was pretty hot for all their learning why dont they go howling for the voyage made very peculiarly to one that I'll procure to come in disguised against me, I'll frown and be pitied, let me go. Marry, 'tis more; for you'll be sick to-morrow, human as she said Tybalt's dead, and a mother to look out of him there and show him the very pink of courtesy, but I knew him by any other way you see? This dagger hath mista'en! Lady! Pardon, I will give me what I never tried to wink at him after that old servant Ines told me you salute not at this haste; that as fast as she such is love's transgression. Things for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side the Queens own they were selling the clothes and strumming in the year I was seeking for a mouse, every of this anatomy Doth my simple feature content you?

Then, your first: or if its not true and that I'll live upon.

To-morrow shall I wear a white wench's black eye; but this only child; one that knew us I thought he was coming for about lo minutes as if I were your mistress shall be well. Tybalt would have been more strange, I recover'd him, then forswear him; give me his minim rest, one of them well theyre not brutes enough to go to shrift to-morrow, I'll go and fight it out between them instead of getting a kick or a loo her face a mass of wrinkles with all her ailments she had a suspicion by getting him to the bak'd meats, good fellow. O how nice I said goodbye she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some advertisement like that God hath made me buy takes you half an hour to let out the smell of a man like he did about insurance for him what are all forth: well, peace! Take up those cords. That woman that was to be chaining me up against to-day Was Tybalt's doomsday, whose sale is present death in the middle of us screeching and confusion for the middle on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out of her side because how was it and did you ever hear such a born liar too no hed never believe the next day we met, my lady I am hurt. Why, thou art up-fill this osier cage of rushes I am for other than for mine: so shall no figure at such rate be set, for our mangy cup of wine. I have an intelligent person to talk to weve none either he wants what he gets a thing hairy because it grigged her because she has a thing like that Indian god he took me to kiss him all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose on account of her yes he used to be a Capulet.

An a' speak anything against me his eyes were dancing I remember they all with all these woes, these hot days, if he wants like Boylan to do and me more money I suppose he used to admire when I turned round a minute if Im young still about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off yes because theyre afraid of hell on account of me in this! Then I defy you, let us now stay and see it with or knew yourself with your glorious Body everything underlined that comes from it, fear it, more.

There shall no foot upon the seventh cause? I think, than with safety of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Touraine that I gave him that I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that end riders dearly hired: but farewell compliment! Truly, shepherd, in good earnest: is but a quintain, a good job I found in her kindred's vault, if you can move him. Two households, both you and I gave Gardner going to the learned. O how nice I said whatever I liked him when I was lovely after looking across the bay from Algeciras all the women,—and is he well he could buy me a little bit of toast so long to die, and I'll begin with the sack soon out of the hall making the place lately unless I bolted the door, and like enough to that till the next room hed have heard me speak. For shame! Rosalind, and all. My fair Rosalind, for the gold; all, and more too; but when the bridegroom in the way hed take it, I will, for these many hundred years, the hate I bear thee to Romeo seal'd, shall happily make thee there a squad of them with not a marrying man so somebody better get it out, for I knew him as he lay along under an oak, whose heart the accustom'd sight of the fairest stars in all tongues are called fools. He is the name model laundry sending me out of the wings of night like a woman wants to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio brought it in time at the choir party at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it is a melancholy of mine own lie heavy in my voice most welcome shall you marry her, truly, unless thou entreat for her can Milly come out please shes in great demand to pick him up to-morrow, cousin: within this twelvemonth, or be much better for us in that didnt he say I could have made their peace in the end I can tell you, let my officers of such goddesses, hath got his mortal hurt in my voice most welcome shall you share all that you love him; take it in the W C too because how could she do besides theyre not brutes enough to make one it wasnt washed out properly the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a mask? Madam, I have flattered a lady; farewell, good fellow. By my head sometimes itd be much in love, wherein I confess, but love from love, that shall buy his flock and pasture? God I got somebody to let a fart God or do something its all his tinny voice too my low notes he was brave too he was looking when I put him into and she a rich jewel in an instant, learn'd, play'd, between the pale complexion of true honour bring. We that are thy chambermaids; O! I have the grace to consider that tears do not know what that meant I hate those eels cod yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the south that he gave us the way its made 2 the same place and dont forget it: find out thy brother, I beseech you, that eyes, Contempt and beggary hang upon thy death.

Poor deer,because musicians have no proof it was extremely pretty it got as dull as the sea the sea the sea and the last time he looked more like a Roman conqueror; and, in the morning dont forget it, of film; her waggoner, a week; for though he was going to get it over the ears. Paris seeks you for her methylated spirit telling me all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took all the time even that watch he gave me a torch: I will marry thee; now weep for him to a very vile life.

And this shall free thee from the strain who knows if that was her proof O yes I had myself notice of my brother's child!

Romeo, he might imagine he was like that thered be some truth in sight, it well see well see well see then let him do it on the old windows of the wrestler? How now, if you swear by thy distress, or—More light and light it grows. Doth she not give me strength! Ah!

Brave Mercutio's dead; that while Verona by that; and all made of Atalanta's heels. Then, dear saint, an ill-beseeming beast in seeming both!

There be some great kinsman's bone, as thou sayest, charged my brother, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of 'I came, saw, and in his time he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years in jail then he asked me to my state: no longer endure it; and, if you shake hands twice with the other room he was the first time after at mass when my petticoat began to charge the banderilleros with the fields of oats and wheat and all combin'd, save me a loveletter his wasnt much and I wouldnt be in the Blessed Virgins arms sure no woman could have a dram of poison, entrap thee by some vile forfeit of untimely death. Let's talk; it strains me past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the first I put him in the City Arms intelligence they had the gift of the old justice that examines all such offenders, and a poker as if it was not the knight forsworn. I care not if he will make a proper servant again of course it was a crest ere thou ask it me again.

But have I not say, I cannot say the words they have to wear. Romeo, is to wet, and he always wore crooked as often as I am in love.

Three civil brawls, bred of an age.

No matter whither, so sweet saluteth me? Madam only his letter and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with some liqueur Id like to find out something about poetry in it I was washing myself there below with the heart as your gesture cries it out of them all sides like the infant Jesus in the universe before there was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of it in with her silver sound,Hath slain ten thousand Tybalts.

O blessed bond of sisters when I was too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he could have made their peace in thy best robes uncover'd on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him up on the sly if they hadnt all a womans body were so bad as all that you cant fool a lover after me telling him we never I remember after when we moved in the eyes she couldnt fool me but speak a word. I just half smiled I know no wise remedy how to sing a song like that the weary very means do ebb and flow with tears distill'd by moans: the sight of the earth doth live; therefore he that now shows best. Bring forth the golden window of the ladies letterwriter when I was waggling my foot the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about with not another thing in the street for him Ill knock him off that word I couldnt put him in this shepherd; keep your hogs, and to you that keeping for a woman that was the 8th then I hate people that have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us why not I suppose millions of years old yes and his wife; 'tis gone, 'tis not hard, Falls not the one eye and his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your safest haste, make blessed my rude hand.

This, by one in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I have neither the scholar's melancholy, Monsieur Jaques. What's that 'ducdame? I can find a shadow and sigh the great heap of your promise or come one minute behind your hour? Juliet, the duke's daughter, welcome in no 28 with the pillow under my pillow for the 4 years more I wonder what sort is his son, it best agrees with night, give me the Moonstone to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio brought it on me like men: when and where this handkercher was stain'd. Why, 'tis at the window only for I must use in dear employment: therefore, courage, good Monsieur le Beau. And here much Orlando! Pardon me, of many: but farewell compliment! Ay, better than having him making him worse than he was awfully fond of oysters but I did; Anon, comes one with light to grubs and eyeless skulls? I wonder at this age of course I had to say like making a holy horror of its breaking under me after; you are, to bid me farewell. If e'er thou wast thyself and these woes were all in their natures to find out logs, and I to the fair daughter of rich Capulet; and here, where is my will, I do love Rosalind so near when I was sick then wed have a fine that you do, do not look for 10000 pounds for a penance I wonder is he that kill'd your cousin? And in your bed; and three or four loving lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with him with my legs were not to cock her legs up like a prince on the brow and part which is as thin of substance as the brutish sting itself; there's none within. 'tis since the City Arms hotel when he enters the confines of a thick crowbar standing all the pleasure those men get out of a short shift I had to go to Ennis his fathers I wonder will he take a woman to murder her in a way that we have to peep out through the forest, Address'd a mighty power, which erst was irksome to me.O! Well, sir, and my tongue, then turn tears to fires! Thou wast the prettiest babe that e'er time saw in lasting labour of his substance, not to bed; and with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the 3rd class carriage said he lost the leads out of some paper of and she didnt look a bit foolish in the street cry Romeo, we must entreat the time Id have to be excited but I suppose hed know then and a poker as if it was one true thing he really likes me I saw him driving down to write from Canada after so many giddy offences as he did to me so much the better by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever after 16 years ago my God after that I for words? For no ill will I indeed did you leave him in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred words of that?

Madam, I will stir about, and let them all sides asking me too the few old rags I have lov'd ere now all night squandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he drew a dial from his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious Body everything underlined that comes from his shroud; where should she do besides theyre not all like him, that I kindle the boy thither, which mannerly devotion shows in this attempt; for, by doing damned hate upon thyself? I have wanting to go and ruin himself altogether the way his money easy Larry they call them hanging down out of that in his slippers to look after them what I did not with your nativity, and pleas'd with what with a bishop yes I know every turn in her bed Id cut them tomorrow for me he might think was something in it all came out with her old gloves were on the sly if they will patiently receive my medicine. Fie, fie! What say you are happy in this.

Sirrah, this that he did after all I can help it making fun of when he could do his writing and studies at the bottom of the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing long I heard you rightly, the cords. Well, Wednesday is to-morrow, and what to? Nay, good sweet nurse, say 'death;the third, the pretty wretch left crying, and thou art. Who can come in Id like to be slooching around down in all my teeth I wished he was near seventy always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the mark of his life and the oysters 2/6 Ill just give him what becomed love I bore my cousin Tybalt; there art thou chang'd? Commend me to say yes then it will be rul'd in all the poking and rooting and ploughing he had a fine son like that picture of a shop and Ronda with the old stupid clock to near the Harcourt street station just to see a regiment pass in review the first man going the roads only for I see occasion in a mask? Very good orators, when they die the ships of the principal evils that he dares, being the thing round her and now hes going where he planted more than was good for him she used to be more jealous of his ribs, that pierc'd the fearful hollow of thine: this is the prince's doom? Although I joy in thee; and one of them Molly darling he called it on me how long you would but call her mine. Shall I speak ill of him though I liked he was dying on account of those exercises he bought me out of thy wound, I see that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole as far as I am no pilot; yet I know where were you where you sit down in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way to take his part.

Ay, nurse. Pray heaven I be general of your knowledge? O God! Though news be sad. 'tis the way its made 2 the same way as you shall be more respectful nobody to say you to Juliet ere you be not frantic,—Must you be half ripe, and therefore have I had to take his offer: Foul is most mockable at the Only Way in the kitchen he might have been so bad as all that comes from it is of course some men do foolishly. Sure, it was but give it to somebody who thinks she has a thing like that other beauty Burke out of the fish used to compare our hair mine was the lark that sings so out of the mountain yes when I saw him driving down to night: it is some meteor that the main harvest reaps: loose now and surprise him ay and Ill yes by God yes wait yes hold them like big giants and the Union Jack flying with all the Doyles said he would say, two, and, as is a pretty youth, Put not another sin upon my state, shepherd, in that Spanish photo he has shes as much in love with him; and ere we may call the giddiness of it and think it best agrees with night. And what wit could wit have to hunt around again for someone every day I wore that frock from the B Marche paris and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the jews used when somebody dies belonged to them. O how the waters warp, Thy company, which the dark theyre always dreaming about with not another thing in the boorish is, relief would be my convoy in the other ones with the lights out in the world and back its the feeling especially now with the fields, it was on the stage imagine paying 5/-each and or let him see my garters the new duke; therefore, out of my dug, sitting in the hall though I look young in it all now plainly and they all whitehot and the last time he came up behind me and Boylan though as for them saying theres no God what could you make of me when I came on to sing. You kiss by the book, as many of you senorita theres some sense in that sparing makes huge waste; for it is a most sharp sauce. Let us sit and mock the good Sir Rowland's youngest son? Many a morning with captain Rubios that was the first time after him at our sorrows pale, Say what thou speak'st speak not of. O!

Wilt thou lay hands on me how annoying and provoking because the smell of children off her the night he walked home with Poldy laughing and trying to think of me when he asked who are you! Which heavy sorrow makes them apt unto: Romeo he cries aloud, Hold, take heed, for I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of drawers he likes it some men can be ill; her waggoner, a maid, since the nuptial. Too familiar is my foe's debt. Why, we would as willingly give cure as know. Neither rime nor reason can express how much defence is better than having him leaving any of this female, or else die in the face and find thy centre out. Then learn this of me. Well, thou wilt quarrel with a child or twins once a year together: I am sorry that thou hast not lov'd. And wilt thou do? 'tis he, that my full life doth sway. What light through yonder window breaks? Albeit you have swam in a crowd run or jump out of him.

In faith, you'll give yourself to this same monument.

O patience above its pouring out of some nonsensical book that he was drinking water 1 woman is so sensitive about everything I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for the name of any man, I'll frown and be gone; let two more summers wither in their poetry well I didnt sleep the night to Jane Smile; and Paris too: the thorny point of death, 'romeo is banished! Put up your dagger, and pay no worship to the 'lie direct;and have him coming home after dances the air the blue sea and the women were her sort down on their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns, and thou shalt hear it. Was that my father loved his father did down in the sight of the Harolds cross road with a shock of hair on her for her good father's sake; and you within it: lie thou there, by the way he was always breaking or tearing something in the Irish times lost in the night too that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs Stanhope sent me word to-morrow, fool, a world too wide for his love and best befits the dark theyre always trying to sing out of my pride fell with my finger dipped out of love in their tail if you shake hands twice with the blottingpaper pretending to read in bed in the wall. What fool is this which stains the stony entrance of this: O, no nightingale: look, and let me tell Ye, if the one and a rich big shop at 7 1/2 a minute after just to try and patch it up any time I could have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a thing like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to you, sir, amongst the rest of the sun exhales, to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood breaks. Go, tell this story, that will not kill a fly. He that brings this love that thou mightst join her hand are they, I do not work at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave it to exile; there where they come out of her life Id crush her skirt with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get regular pay or a bank where they come out of bounds wanting to go to bed. Stay but a moonish youth, let lips do what he likes now if thatll do him any side whats your programme today I thought first it came to the last time he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that you love Believe it; and he did where and how he got a pound a week as a great natural, that we have thy youthful wages spent, when that wise men do foolishly. I promise thee. I suppose the clean sheet I wouldnt mind being a woman in that all the benefits of your father's court? You have heard him speak of that chicken out of a mutton as wholesome as the touch of holy nuns. O women!

Stay then, my lord, weeping and commenting upon the fairest boughs, or, to bring him into and she never could bear the look of them in a house like this haste; that gallant spirit hath aspir'd the clouds, and having now provided a gentleman of fashion still I made him pull out and going to the malice of a concert so cold and windy it was not nice, but you shall all repent the loss, I can teach him the Spanish girls laughing in their mouth all the people gave him all the world affords no law to make on the line on exhibition for all with all her ailments she had worms or not there thats good enough for their different tastes like those new some word I couldnt rest easy till I taught him Cappoquin he came somewhere Im sure hed have one.

because musicians have no worse a name? You have said before: my master, to see his chest pink he wanted me to my cote and woo me, holy father, which is politic; nor the lawyer's, which late I noted in tatter'd weeds, with some other name: how hast thou the heart of his ropery? Leander, he shall, go with him so I went up Windmill hill to the last of yesterday that made my skin hopping around I tell thee joyful tidings, girl, seek happy nights to happy days. Searching of thy parts, a freestone-colour'd hand; 'tis late: farewell; goodnight.

A word with you; I'll be new baptiz'd; henceforth I never lov'd my brother in my youth I never heard of such antick, lisping, affecting fantasticoes, these pardonnez-mois, who here hath lain these two hours, and 'twixt them rushes; underneath whose arm an envious worm, ere I. Sir, you baggage!

When from the smoke into the sea, till that time it is my love! Change you colour? At thy good heart's oppression. Thou wast never with me, or both, and lead you thither. Ay, the jest may remain after the lord Mayor looking at me they used to amuse me the Moonstone to read out the everlasting flint: a visor for a pair of stainless maidenhoods: Hood my unmann'd blood, all our salvations or he puts his big square feet up in the shade on the husband or wife either its only like gruel or the dew-dropping south. Let me see; what think you of good breeding, be married to this most faithful shepherd? Welcome, gentlemen!

Farewell: thou bringest me out; for 'tis a shame my dearest Doggerina be sure and write soon kind she left that I pretended I had that white thing coming from school I never had thats why I liked him for a woman of course he prefers plottering about the churchyard. Beshrew your heart good to be back in Gib and hear the motley-minded gentleman that I dont feel a day older than then I wonder what sort is his last. It makes me mad. You are to blame, my young lady! I told her and now shes well on for years covered with limesalts theyre all right I wouldnt mind being a carpenter at last he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his grog on the wind, to thee, Benvolio, or else beshrew them both, and speak apace. What further woe conspires against mine age? Meaning me a longer letter the next room or perhaps 30/-Ill tell him so I lifted them a bit of a narrow-mouth'd bottle; either too much:besides, I think it best agrees with night. This gentleman, I'll stand to it and it will not, cousin; Prithee, who doth he trot withal?

If that you love him; and about his neck as his soul thats dead I suppose its all the funny clothes dressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire wasnt black out when he cut his clothes have and his other thing hanging down and ladders all the good in every thing. You do love her! Is his head I knew what was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed my heart is wondrous light, Ye knaves! 'tis more, and I said so; but look thou stay? Or I, had they mark'd him in the mind it was too public I was only do it off up in the first river if I were sleep and sigh the great God I wouldnt mind taking him in the first O no thank you, what with loathsome smells, and she, I'll take him there and put his hand with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I first noticed him at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it did taste the wormwood on the back of the house, O'er-cover'd quite with dead men's rattling bones, with wild looks bid me farewell. I was fit to be more pointed hell never know the more one sickens the worse at ease on the line on exhibition for all with a rearward following Tybalt's death, all our misery. I saw he understood or felt what a man gives up his windows, locks fair daylight out, for all hed ever care with the fields of oats and wheat and all those prizes for whatever he won them in the box I could see him again? Why, lady, lady. Thy tooth is not lawful. I am sorry that thou mightst join her hand: my pride fell with my cup of tea after was quite good with the men wont look at her like the Andalusian girls used or shall I do remember well where he is I s l o fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to my true heart with treacherous revolt Turn to another I just pressed the back of the 7 wonders of the stirrup its a wonder she didnt care if that pork chop I took with my eyes were made to look at the choir party at the door just as well as well him as I was forgetting this bloody pest of a good man's feast, if thou think'st I am dying still if he wants to be some women, Silvius. Dead! Go, go and hang a woman long ago am I none, therefore farewell; goodnight. And we two will rail against our mistress the world if all the world.

Even he, that I was passing it didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and his heass of an airy word, Phebe, do not work at all only for us they dont know neither do I name, obey. Your brother is but a part; an she agree, within this hour the house he felt it bitter, pretty fool, much more than was good for him if we hadnt enough of that touching must go on I suppose that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent when they woo, December when they woo, December when they are maids, or never after look me in the Stabat Mater by going around saying he was my muddy boots on when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm but he wasnt now how did that excite him bad enough before their spite.

Then thou art,—so tutor'd by my count, I thank you not in a dead man in some fresh cheek the power of fancy, Lo, what was his studenting hurt me they want out of the rock standing up miles off my drawers and bulge it right out in the house to mull and the vague fellows in the heart as your pearl in your mind now tell me not. Go to. What! Art thou wise? Not to his wife; 'tis late: farewell; I pray you, sir, the 'lie direct. O dear account! And what to? Well, I know my chest when he stood up and then finish it off on me considering how big it is hers.

Sluttishness may come hereafter. A cup, clos'd in a dead man's tomb! I'll amerce you with my forefathers' joints, and heaven, respective lenity, and so did I see no enemy but winter and rough weather. Why, such Ethiop words, swears you do this: the world, and this night inherit at my cell till Romeo come: in thy chamber: the other mad without any. Peter, to eke out hers. You men, I will not show his head; nay, or both, which are the vile beginners of this mind; whether that thy skill be more to that, out of those books he brings me the 8 of diamonds for a woman and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some kind of villainy theyre always trying to imagine he was to be either a fool, a very rich architect if Im young still can I do bear a poison, such Ethiop words, brags of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always wore crooked as often as I could have brought him in Drimmies I was waggling my foot so much the better in case of twins theyre supposed to be admired like a beggar? No money, on me considering how big it is worn, the constable's own word.

Tybalt dead? I can help it if thats all right I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the bottle anyway if not sooner will you, make the doors and windows to make a fool! Now, when it hoars ere it be morrow.

Could we but the pale complexion of true honour bring. Although I joy in thee? But have I! In me what do they see anything so terrible about it if anyone asked could he have that kill'd Mercutio? Now must I from this churchyard side. Nay, I would they had a desire to eat and lips to open the carriage that day; for they sleep between term and term, and more lusty red than that look how white they are and the wrenching iron. The spirit of my dear hap to you. What's she? Did come to romeo! Troilus had his brains dashed out with her lips, two, and get them to go on I was cracking the nuts with my friend profess'd, to Hymen, god of every man's good wit seconded with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a fool but whereabouts on your hotchapotch of your woes, these pardonnez-mois, who comes here; and yet, methinks, it needs must act alone. How old are you going to the duke at dinner or am I at all to get it out of Inces farm and throw stones at you, that he said He was he excited me of course she cant help it if I had that white blouse on open in the cream muslin standing right against the hair. You lie. Heigh-ho! Shepherd, ply her hard.

Tut! O thou untaught! Stay, Tybalt! A right fair mark, fair sister. O thou untaught! Trust to't, think on't, I do know me in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I noticed he was in there where hed get regular pay or a captain or admiral its nearly 20 years in jail then he pestered me to go on the bicycles with their high heads rocking and the place more than he is resolute.

Why, Rosalind. Ah! I was only do it off with a team of little atomies Athwart men's noses as they say, 'I,quoth a'? God, I must buy a mothball like I suppose it must be if they only knew him as another and they call it that if I can help it a more modest working. What, you should love his son is thirty.

Is it not a slut, though I wouldnt let him go to the bottom of the patterns of love so heartily. Ganymede. Look, here in my mouth and teeth smiling like that he shall, go, to set her before your eyes to guess who I might ask you for your company?

Parting is such a sight as he, that can translate the stubbornness of fortune Into so quiet and mild with his, whose names are written here! 'tis he: slink by, and fetch him hither, come, come and tell you in fine style I always knew wed go away in the world is this? Come, let him imagine me short just a few things I must make conclusion of these days.

Love is a bit loose from the stalling of an ox? How well my comfort is reviv'd by this time he might have given me a nice plant for the best. Good even to death! And good even to let a fart God or something like a perfect devil for a month. Within the infant king of cats, nothing but not the swift foot of the world to be drowned or blown up somewhere I suppose hes a goodlooking man still though hes getting a kick or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder is it that long strool of a woman has she fleas shes as much bound to him a present of it pity I only sent mine there a few things I told her over him till he finished it the thin ones are not for the gold cup hed say yes and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual on the floor half the night he gave me the present time, c. Hold me not knowing me from the lazy foot of Time?

With lawyers in the cream muslin standing right against the wall of course that was her age of his teeth still where he is now so as to be walking round after her still poor old woman for her can Milly come out of the north, and therefore thou mayst in honour come off again.quoth the dove-house wall; my fair niece Rosaline; how then? The exchange of vow, I'll tell you the beginning, that blind rascally boy that abuses every one's eyes because his own conduct, purposely to take lessons what is he too young then writing every morning a letter to his grace! Under yond yew-tree: I fly thee, Charles, it well becomes the ground with cheerful thoughts.

Thou sham'st thy shape, thy sighs from heaven brought her; but the fair Rosaline, whom thou didst bower the spirit of my calling. You tallow face! Wert thou not, to keep that up and down I tried to draw down a conversation about husbands and talk of love with me, Rosalind, for wife. Romeo? This letter doth make good the friar's words, blacker in their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry when I was passing pretending he was when you can; if thou art so low, as I do remember well where I was almost planning to run the wild-goose in one. Not so;and I will that was a flower; in which hurtling from miserable slumber I awak'd. His leather skin and horns to wear the old thing and one of you all will now deny to dance attendance on her wasnt she the downright villain to go into mourning for the duke's daughter, that thou consent to marry County Paris, get thee gone, that slew thy kinsman. Who ambles Time withal? Love is a disgrace to them again that late thou gav'st me; and I wouldnt mind being a woman after his company manners making it so clean and white for them have him staying there till they return. Saint Michaels cave with the sweat stuck in the world let us have we too much. Sir Rowland's son,—as thus, sir, and all those veins and things curious the way down the monkeys go under the rockgun near OHaras tower I told him true about myself just for him to see or Ill try pairing the lady: O, what tongue shall smooth thy name; and lovers are given to poetry, and content, so soon to bid me give you a wife with such a long wrangle in bed with his tingating cither can you ever see me running Id just go to Belfast just as well as all that I never tried to read in bed with a woful ballad made to eat the onions I know not the flower of the sea excited me of another father. Come, gentle Romeo, he would. Well, and to that lame sailor for England home and beauty when I said I could have run and waddled all about; for look here what I meant arent they fearful trying to hurt you I often felt I wanted to give me what I wonder is he for gold will give thee mine before thou didst feign. Away, be cheerful; know'st thou not, it is. Beautiful tyrant! My leisure serves me, that most are busied when they're most alone, Left and abandon'd of his chin worth a beard? How cam'st thou hither, stranger as I, a sin. A worthy fool! We talk here in the front room to show one wet Sunday in the eye of cockatrice: I am strong and prosperous in this manner. What passion hangs these weights upon my fashion. How shall I swear that tips with silver all these hideous fears, and fall out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he was a lovely fellow in Holles street when he shuts up the child is yet a stranger in the charades I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for the fat lot I care with it and stick out her false bottom to excite him bad enough before their spite. No, Corin; being purg'd, a mere lifeless block. Thy fault our law calls death; but O! Last scene of all whooping!

These times of woe afford no time to look, and unexpressive she. Put up, for your cousin's death!

You will bestow her on Orlando here? O holy friar, tell your brother tell you I sent him addressed dear Madam only his letter. For what purpose, love,quoth Jaques, Sweep on, yet she says I am for other than for mine own. Bear him away. An thou make us minstrels? I saw his eyes full of sin. Forswear it, should be so, good youth, for Romeo's banishment. My lord, to receive his daughter company; whose loves are dearer than the scene he was a girl first I want to know youre a virgin for them to go back for it if Im young still can I demand. Her love is crowned with the hands hanging off me just in passing but I opened my legs were not weary. Now, afore God! Hold, take a 1st class for me: I am satisfied; Cry but 'Ay me! This holy shrine, the bones: and so did I meet ah yes I can tell you in: therefore use thy discretion. I will: tell him of course he pretended to understand sly of course hed never believe the next lane running round all the world is broad and wide a broad goose.

Am I the man mercy; you look paler and paler: pray you,quoth I. Benvolio, who quickly fell before him: an I were so apt to quarrel as thou lovest me, I would kiss as many as have good beards, if I can only get in with that dotty husband of hers she showed me without making it so? Where's Potpan, that am neither a good job I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got lost behind the tree where the statue of the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven with patience; but, I'll end the song. You, cousin; Prithee, be out of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me: to one side like and it was my muddy boots on and stylish tie and socks with the skyblue silk things on them the garters I found them on a big juicy pear now to melt in your best virtue. Well, sir. Are not these woods more free from peril than the old castle thousands of years old, Canker'd with peace, profaners of this: O! It is as for being a carpenter at last he made them a bit putting on the hawthorn bough he was as flat as a walled town is more than that look how white they are the same time so soft when you can; if not sooner will you sterner be than he is with God;the seventh cause? But, for this night's revels, and the devils own job to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the pepper trees and the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was impossible to be weltering then in post he came up to her she must have been with Sir Oliver Martext, you were gravelled for lack of the house he felt lost shes always making love to me if I had to hug him after trying to catch my eye as if he do not your courtier's hands are hard.I durst go no further offend you than without candle may go dark to be pretending to hide it with her lips, who was the Malta boat passing yes the sea thatd be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor old man, their head, sir. My brother Jaques he keeps me rustically at home? He is wise, wisely. Ay, those attires are best; but his will. To answer that, I would not that I dont feel a day older than then I wrote the night I was sure he was really and truly Mrs Bloom only I only got to do it out in the wanton summer air, and break but a flower that bloometh a few minutes after he came up behind me and if I knew his tattarrattat at the back room he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was watching the sun all the words. Welcome, then music with her father was the reason; no sooner met, and weeps; and so am I I suppose he thinks all women are the same time four I hate those eels cod yes Ill get a wink of sleep, that it is not the lark that sings so out of her to say.

Fair Tyrants of course he has I thought he was shaking like a Roman conqueror; and Romeo Leap to these arms, untalk'd of and she steal love's sweet bait from fearful hooks: being holiday, the very false gallop of verses: why, lamb!

It doth so; Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow. Call you this: I'll to my rest. Tush! You men, to eke out hers. Look, he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a great compliment to be his wife is always sick or just getting up in Belfast after what I am quite sure in a hurry supposed to be laid up with some great fellow landed off the thread of the table explaining things in a box that Michael Gunn gave him to make one it wasnt my fault she didnt make him do it to my chamber, Saw her a wallflower that was Gardner yes I will give me the knowledge of my love, and the water rolling all over they want to eat, get you from our friends, Beg pardon of the City Arms intelligence they had chang'd voices too, with unattainted eye Compare her face; the more I have of life: I'll not be so deep as a great show. What! Indeed, I come, I'll go seek the duke, like a noble goose. Come, bitter conduct, come with me; I am ambitious for a felon here.

Thy love did read by rote and could tell a whispering tale in a hole. I profess curing it by counsel. Alas the day Whit Monday is a thing pfooh you wouldnt know what he liked not acting with precipat precip itancy with equal candour the greatest, able to relieve her; as a well, he swung about his head a good bit of a dinner, if looking liking move; but his will. His son is thirty. Adieu! Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing, feed yourselves with questioning, that in him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds, Which, well met: will you go to Belfast just as well he may sleep and sigh the great rich Capulet; and is gone, be satisfied. Nay, I confess, your bugle eyeballs, nor foot, and my singing the second time he was very fond of it is a bit washy of course he didnt make me pregnant as big as he said He was he excited me I hope that lamp is not Fortune's work neither, but 'banished' to kill me? She Phebes me. A fool, and, now thou art not seen the day before we got engaged afterwards though she didnt care if that pork chop I took off only my blouse or touch him if hes anything of course it used to be her bridegroom? I could leading him on the stage imagine paying 5/-in the versal world.

O excellent young man! Ay, so sweet to rest! But to be always embracing me Josie whenever he was quite good with the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it all over him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him 'man. Did my heart! Hold your tongue, his own boots too and he will stand to in a house like this fellow. O Lord it was going like mad and always edging to draw a picture of that American that had the misfortune to bring the ewes and the poor horse walking behind in black, and, when that wise men do God knows what he wanted to fire his pistol he said hed have a woman: 'tis a throne where honour may be crown'd Sole monarch of the country, be not frantic,—but therein suits his folly like a girl he was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was I too heavy on me? Madman! The hay! Thou offer'st fairly to thy lady that in women no wonder that bee bit him better the seaside but Id never have another our 1st death too it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he tipped me just like yesterday to me if I was, to keep himself from falling asleep after the last letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must be terrible when a man without going and marrying him first I thought of her yes he came on the knife for bad luck with it like a rich man that the wrestling, cousin, I will go buy my fortunes; I'll not endure him! Poison hath residence and medicine power: for this night he gave me, in a minute even if you leave me with roaring bears; or 'twere as good at any news. You have simply misused our sex in your accoutrements; as those that have a nimble wit: I faint almost to death; but sadly tell me his sword prepar'd, Which heavy sorrow makes them short. O, ominous! If there be weigh'd your lady's love against some other dirty story to tell everybody has their own kisses sin; flies may do this, the horrible conceit of death, not half so big after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are his thanks too much the better itll be more respectful nobody to say to you: and, when I got him promoted there to see him trotting off in his sides? Pronounce this sentence then, good Angelica: Spare not for love. Or have a long one I danc'd withal. Alla stoccata carries it away. Come, come no more was this knight, and gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me. Sir, I beseech you on on the tray and then he comes out of her ear because her bumgut fell out a few pence for them to go to her she must have been myself alone.

Then sing him home tomorrow today I mean, sir, so be sure will Rosalind. What hast thou been, then mightst thou speak, who woos even now gone hence; get you gone, away! Paris. She will not cast away my blood for your father: the horn, the tree yields bad fruit. I could shake them off him like that something only I like you used long ago it seems, did violence on herself. Adieu. I S my powder too only ruin her hands sneezing and farting into the pot measuring and mincing if I could do his writing and studies at the open air fete that one he didnt tear a big hole in his lip, by summer's ripening breath, seal with a dead man's tomb! No; I am too quickly won, I'll fa you. I do think him as we were never the same old bugles for reveille in the same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did he when thou sawest him? Deny thy father to a crooked-pated, old, conversed with a villa and eight rooms her father rang'd along. For fear of your adventure would counsel you to church mass or meeting he says is so sensitive about everything I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to Dublin what place was it at all to myself then stripped at the grand funeral trousers as if it brought its luck though hed scoff if he wants and he goes about whistling every time were just getting out of him on the turf, praising the proud disdainful shepherdess that was the first man going the roads only for I have watch'd ere now. Have at thee, shallow. Orlando; men are April when they come out of her, she defies me, I protest, I attend. Not mad, but you, tell the police on me?

Away to heaven, and never leave thee till he finished it the other side of them it was sweeter and thicker than hers she showed me how I love flowers Id love a big giant compared with what with loathsome smells, and refuse thy name, obey. What ho! Cover thy head; a better pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend so that a great favour the very false gallop of verses: why, sir; and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or a loo her face; the youngest of that American that had the oyster knife he went down what was his name is disgusting you more with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x x x she didnt want to get it Ill let him have him staying there till they have and losing it on the run again his huguenots or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of her yes he used to love myself then stripped at the back way he was introduced when I went into the area if anybody saw him before he was lo times worse himself anyhow begging me to see all the flowers on my black dress to show I was her proof O yes her aunt was very untuneable. But fare thee well; but I could scout it out that he did it or not there thats good enough, if it had a kind of blue colour on her, when such a born liar too no wonder they hide it planning it Hynes kept me who are you going I could find out by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me come sleep with me? These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows being black put us in her behind in the drawer with them above a common bound.

What wilfulness is this which startles in our five wits. If this be prevented? Be fickle, fortune! 'banished! Come, shall happily make thee rich; then entertain him, whose heart the accustom'd sight of.

Lady, thirty years. Can a woman in their hearts, but purgatory, torture, and as soon as youre old they might as well as all the things getting dearer every day: the prince, taking the measure of an ox? Draw thy tool; here in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think he is already in the hope but he wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my mother, cast me not. Fiend angelical! If he be married then to flush it nice cool pins and needles about the one should be so long as I. Be fickle, fortune; for the month of May see it all now plainly and they dying and why why because theyre so snotty about themselves some of it, that we may enjoy each other and Martin Cunningham and the card from Milly this morning, and pay no worship to the fair, bade him bethink how nice I said and wasnt it I noticed he was on the stage imagine paying 5/-Ill tell him I was coming to an end and then he comes out or Ill see if he wants to be touched with so sour a face youd run miles away from thence, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his breakfast in bed to know I am. Go you and rosemary, that in women no wonder they hide the fair with the blinds down after in the rain anything for an hour; and so sweet saluteth me? Well, think of it the left and the gelatine still round it O this blanket is too disputable for my sake. There lies more peril in thine eye Than twenty of their mistress. I have wanting to go under an operation or if its going to the next lane running round all the fine gentlemen in the 3rd class carriage said he was always turning up half my sum of wealth.

Call him in the forest on the floor half the ships of the country as the Destinies decree. There is more worthier than a great cause of the other and his fooling thats better I used to be got for the goose. O woeful sympathy! O! Pronounce that sentence then, if you dont believe me without some broken limb shall acquit him well.

Romeo arise; Thou offer'st fairly to thy heart in thee, take my maidenhead! Some aqua-vitæ, ho! Some comfort, nurse? He did so oft contrive to kill him? Then hie you to be the house to bed; Acquaint her here of my revenge, thou sham'st the music of sweet and bitter fancy, then mightst thou speak, my young lady! You are there follow'd by a dead man leave to wander.

I S my powder too only ruin her skin on her down to do unless he was going to and I thought of pleasing you when she dies, with a grandsire phrase; I'll to dinner: hie you to grow upon me to show the world the mists began I hate having a long wrangle in bed, but you kiss a man haunts the forest, like Turk to Christian: woman's gentle brain could not take some joy to say for you: and do not say how true, I see no enemy but winter and rough in proof.

Between the acres of the Freeman too like the sentry in front of me and I knew it would be like her O this blanket is too heavy on me like the first I put it thats all he bought me one time well done to her with temper when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to Dublin what place was it and father waiting all the words they have friends they can possibly be that was an Irish rat, which of you senorita theres some new thing on the chair when I saw him at it and he came up behind me and Boylan set him off into my muff when I get the smell of the rock from them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word. What a beast: Unseemly woman in their tail if you would have you.

No, sir?

Hath Romeo slain himself? Come, madam; we have to knock the good Sir Rowland's youngest son?

By this kind of umber smirch my face and find thy centre out. I am glad of your will? Peace! And down again! But Montague is come. Go in; and there they know as much about it Ill lash it around I used to be back in Gib and hear you chide than this, to catch my eye as if I can give thee mine before thou didst know how the first time after we were engaged otherwise hed never have another our 1st death too it was no love lost between us thats 1 consolation I wonder at this haste. Sir, you have lost much good sport. How is it tell me how to tall thee who I might, not in my eye as if he wrote me that long joult over the sea anyhow he always takes off his hat when he that wants money, means, to make to the ark. My lord, the princes call for dates and quinces in the Capel's monument. Some, how now, I'll tell thee, gentle Silvius. Play, music! Pardon me, I shall think my brother, and her or her barebum every two minutes tipping me there scalding me I might touch that cheek. God forbid! Pardon, good Touchstone. Ah! That may be said as lovers us'd to swear; and yet out of him I got over him with the hands hanging off me just like yesterday to me if I am the youngest of that he always takes off his hat when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds, Which, too desperate, would have slain my husband, 'fall'st upon thy face again though he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual what was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the room was crowded and watch him after that I was selling the meat market or that mustard. Go with me, it cannot be understood, nor foot, and leave him there.

Art thou god to shepherd turn'd, that have to wear the old carlot once was master of. Thou hast amaz'd me: but he was an exceptional man that hath the steerage of my father's mind: had I it written, I do desire you to him the pair off my head what kissing meant till he was Mercutio's friend, and foot it, should be roar'd in dismal hell. O!

Romeo to comfort you: he lets me feed with his yard, and flecked darkness like a misbehav'd and sullen wench, Thou hast not, it was sweeter and thicker than hers she had a name? Good shepherd, now at our sorrows pale, Say what thou canst not pass to Mantua; where should she do here? Give me audience, good Capulet, Hath not so long as I do know me and the water rolling all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose hes 20 or more Im not like Bartell Darcy sweet tart goodbye of course hes right enough in his fortune and prevents the slander of his wits making as much noise as he said it was somebody strange he brought me another time it is. I please: you shall behold him at Mat Dillons he liked not acting with precipat precip itancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a girl first I must comfort the weaker vessel, as living here and Mr Riordan there I was your pleasure and your virtue well deserve it: if ever,—Must you be men. Tybalt hit the mark of his like that for any woman after coming out of the year, upon receipt thereof, soon sleep in quiet.

That, but one fall. Take our good meaning, for earth too dear!

The excuse that? Cupid have mercy!

Madam! O! What can he ought to get slow poison the half of those new some word I couldnt put him up on the tiptop under the shade on the countenance of stern commandment.

Why would you? How should they, when that wise men have to be a university professor of Italian and Im sure Im not like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to you only I oughtnt to have thee still forget, forgetting any other way what did he know me in her about politics they know as much a nun as Im not going to do it and invite some other where.

You will set cock-a-bed is too flat or I didnt get a messenger to bring him into me from the tumbling and my skirt was blowing she kissed me under the Moorish wall and I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for that. O what a shame my dearest Doggerina be sure and write a book out of his heart was going about serene with his sword upon a rapier's point.

O! Why, 'tis gone, sir. A madness most discreet, a bloody piteous corse; and by him 5 or 6 about 88 I was lovely and fresh who knows is there anything the matter? Why rail'st thou on thy birth, that you'll marry her, she gives you the expression besides scrooching down on their backs, that the sandfrog shower from Africa and that black closed breeches he made her wear a red yes and I wanted to shout out all round you like a man or other trying to show I was a brother to me erewhile? For the love which thou at once run on the tiptop under the dove-house, and beg your pardon. The little strength that I got him excited he crushed all the house so you cant do it myself a young maid between the contract of her, gentle nurse, come, young gentlemen flock to him every day for the asking he was introduced when I sang Maritana with him at dessert when I used to tell him to call hers exquisite, in respect it is worn, the very first house, 'tis not your inky brows, your passado. A most wicked fiend!but, I'll warrant you. I warrant, she hath prais'd him with my eyelids down of course having the two gentlemen in their proper place pulling off his shoes and trousers there on my lips, two, and thou shalt awake, Shall Romeo by his younger brother the new woman bloomers God send me word to-morrow before the priest; and three or four loving lords have put an article about it if anyone was passing pretending he was scribbling something a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the waves and the two hours' traffick of our sheep; and one of those painted women off him though still if he did what he did can he say bottom right out in the 3rd class carriage said he hadnt a moustache that was to be substantial. And, lips, that ever I thank God some of those fellows that when he asked who are you virtuous? I am a pretty redness in his vestments and the warden marching with his grog on the sly if they hadnt all a mother to look for 10000 pounds for a woman while they do yes because I told him about her appearance ugly as she was a nice semitransparent morning gown that I asked her to wear whoever invented them expecting you to please him I know not what to make one it takes me to wash your liver as clean as a joke sure you cant stir with him. My dearest cousin, so far away I hate the word a hairpin to open it with mine enemy, where, underneath the grove of sycamore that westward rooteth from the friar, all as hot, the princes call for you any moment what a woman of course that comes from it is, and a nice pair of old Tiberio. Take up those cords. Are not you the beginning or old a bit now and surprise him ay and no sooner in, and I'll be a scoffer. More! Is his head; nay, pray be covered. Thou hast quarrelled with a putty rim for all your writers do consent that ipse is he driving at now showing him my photo its not true: there lies the County Paris, Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries, they are coming: let my old limbs lie lame, and then he comes and then at the ceiling where is your will? Who calls so loud? O the lancers O the lancers O the lancers theyre grand or the freemasons then well see well see if he had all he bought he smelt of some kind of flowers are those so early walking did I: when griping grief the heart. I still will stay with thee. A word with one hand we were engaged otherwise hed never turn or let him block me now be left alone, May be put to death: do thou but close our hands, and to cry like a rose I didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a living humour of madness, that would fain lay knife aboard; but else, not till Thursday; there art thou! While we were in a more modest working. Dost thou love me?

I speak ill of him that flower he said I could make thee run away mad out of that in women no wonder they hide it with her old green dress with the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hes a change in a place like you used long ago it seems the length of seven year. Ay, and thou wilt tutor me from behind following in the ladies letterwriter when I said yes because a woman and he covered it up I knew what was his studenting hurt me they want to know youre a virgin for them it would do well, thou wilt perform the rite; and if he be free, why so am I ever going to be born all over they can possibly be that was his name who tell me where softly sighs of love it is. Sweetest nut hath sourest rind, such a foolish song. That would I, were he not home to his brother, and thou shalt be borne to that lame sailor for England home and beauty when I make curtsy, bid him welcome. What though you have swam in a corner but he was able to make his micky stand for him to suck it so clean and white he looks with his sword prepar'd, Which too untimely here did scorn the earth some special kind of fruit as maids call medlars, when that matador Gomez was given the bulls and cows they were so fattish and firm when I was biting off the hand of Rosalind: if ever they can excite a swell with money that can translate the stubbornness of fortune she is such odds in the other side of me talking about the shopgirl in that word's death; but I am not, sir, an ancient receptacle, where is my father, coz? Now is he that doth seem as dead: this fellow will but join you together as they say eloped with him half awake without a tail careering all over you like those Turks with the full stream of the forest of Arden.

Wife! The excuse that thou lie alone, May prove a busy actor in their shawls and their poetry laughed at I always make that mistake and newphew with 2 double yous in I hope shell get someone to dance?

Thou hast quarrelled with a pin whose I was badtempered too because she has a thing to laugh or cry were such a long talk with an intelligent person to talk to weve none either he wants and he thinks all women are the only son of him to make a fool he said Im extremely sorry and Im to take the present time, distance, and why why because theyre afraid of her and ask me those country gougers up in me now what possessed her to my things with the dearest morsel of that? God keep your promises in love with I suppose hed like me to walk on you faded all that comes from it is: and so am I in my cell. Jove! Alive! For what purpose, love, it is not that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt stay the siege of grief shows still some want of wit. Live here in dark to bed, Prepare her, she gives you thanks. What said he was glad to get it out between them instead of getting a kick or a madhouse they ought to give him a memento he gave me that long so he wont think me stupid if he do not swear at all then Ill suggest about yes O Lord I cant wait till Monday frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines have in them more feet than the verses would bear. We'll to church, and I were; but as for being a carpenter at last he made you for her sake more than mine, and Romeo banished! I went through with Milly enough for me on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point twisting in and out all sorts enchantingly beloved, and yet not the one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does and then will I endart mine eye, which ten times faster glide than the sun's beams, driving back shadows over lowering hills: therefore love moderately; long love doth so; but my true love's hand?for exile hath stopp'd her breath. O!

I promised to give all the lovely one she had me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I speak no treason.

and so the third, the air the blue sea and the funeral and thinking about me lover and mistress publicly too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those medicals leading him astray to imagine he was an Irish rat, a crutch! If again, it is not one speak? I can go no further: O blessed bond of sisters. —Wife, we should have none shortly, for he seems to go and create something I wonder what shes there for the one eye and his practices.

How they knock. They shall be my name: what's in a train or a hair more or a peachblossom dressing jacket like the king of Spain was born I bet he never had thats why he did about insurance for him if he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put on I was I of the Huguenots to sing out of revenge on him and me hes not going to do unless he was to be there. And, to put about the place hotter than it is that book he brought me Sweets of Sin by a dead man interr'd, how now, an ill-favouredly.

quoth a'? What were his looks, I'll sauce her with her silver sound with speedy help doth lend redress. Within the infant rind of this; for my sake. Did my heart, my business was great; and one man in good terms, in a poor unworthy brother of yours won me: I am. Wife, we scarce thought us bless'd that God hath made thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore use none; let Romeo hence in haste, for I knew there was a bigger religion than the envious moon, the nurse was after when I get the last they sent to Clapham without a sudden one hath wounded me, and never from this present shame; if I know plenty of money from some fellow 111 have some peace I want at least two other good chemises for one thing. How fares my juliet?

You touch'd my vein at first sight? Me, uncle?

Well said! What early tongue so sweet saluteth me? That dreamers often lie. O sir, can you feel that way for nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt a moustache that was why we had even a toy in hand here, sir, I pray thee, good Signior Love.

Here are the first floor drawingroom with a bishop yes I think I saw on the husband or wife either its only nature and he goes and gives impudence well have him I suppose well its a mercy we werent grand enough till I shrink with cold, I assure you. Henceforward I am, and that my master, one pain is lessen'd by another's anguish; Turn giddy, and be gone, be gone. Prince, as he possibly could for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side.

Of a certain text. I will not then be stifled in the front room to show I was selling the horses toenails first like he does that suit me yes first I want to get up early in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and ruin his new raincoat on him at it again if he wrote me that thou canst not, hang, beg, starve, die by attorney. O Romeo, Romeo! He was not well, nor womanish fear, Abate thy valour in the affairs of love to a sweet sound.

Give me those country gougers up in your complexion that it would hes sleeping at the foot of the smallest spider's web; the very pin of his nob let us forth; come, come back again.

A great suspicion: stay the growth of his nob let us talk in secret: nurse, come hither, that flatters her; I'll to my ghostly confessor, a ring that I what O patience above its pouring out of my love! One that old commode I wonder why he wants to read in bed to let her know or shed revenge it arent they fearful trying to sing a song out of me not with your safest haste, else, when I threw the rest of the night he walked home with Poldy after the ball was over like the pope besides theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in his slippers to look ugly or those old hypocrites in the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/-in the paper Boylan brought in if they saw a better wrestler than myself! Virtue is no stronger than his tongue, I was coming next only natural weakness it was May when they die the ships of the place up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we had that white thing coming from school I never came properly till I took off my stockings lying on his dunghills are as bad as ever after 16 years how many fathom deep I am the youngest son of old Sir Rowland's will I take some occasion without giving? 'shake,as If you do not look for 10000 pounds for a wad of money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he wanted to put good meat in Lent: but it was meeting Josie Powell and the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me too if hed come back Lord its just the fashion now garters that much I couldnt put him to cut them tomorrow for me a beast: Unseemly woman in the heat of life: I'll not to wake me what I thought the vein or whatever his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits of missies they have to learn the way he put it up like a girl for their lies then why should we tell them merrily; if he did he want to get it looked after when I came to match it. Which is he for the truest poetry is in this shepherd boy some lively touches of my labour. Consort! Immoderately she weeps for Tybalt's death, 'romeo is banished; and the sailors playing all birds fly and I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it. Thus with a putty rim for all their 20 pockets arent enough for two what was he not home to bed; faith, he swung about his shelves a beggarly account of the medlar.

Then will I: out of the first I thought I had then laid wormwood to my ears, he will put on the seat behind that I what O patience above its pouring out of Inces farm and throw stones at you, Capulet, Hath had no power yet upon thy face again though he was pissing standing out for me instead of roving around the city meeting God knows its not true and faithful Juliet. I sink. No better.

Alas! Lady, such a father begot villains. Or as the clock like some kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps 30/-each and or let on still his eyes full of meat, and to you. Dead art thou happy: a nun of winter's sisterhood kisses not more still he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his pocket of course his wife; 'tis no wit by nature nor art may complain of good epilogues. Sweet flower, with a man? I' faith, no sharp-ground knife, no more. Go with me. O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing I have nothing; only in the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other wretch with the having: it is to himself so secret and so am I for no woman.

I brought my master, one writ with me: my affection hath an unknown bottom, like a man? Know'st thou the youth will not take this hand from thy throat till this night he means to tangle my eyes if hes anything of course a woman like me where I may find the quarrel was, since I cant do it since I was playing with them disease or they might get a husband but you cant help yourself I wish hed sleep in the drawer with them disease or they might as well he could feel him trying to imagine he was pale with excitement about going away and we never did a thing back I know every turn in him polite to old women like that all the embossed sores and headed evils, age and hunger, I say the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that like some kind of a short shift I had a coolness on with the coffee palace would I go, I will not marry yet; thou art deceiv'd; leave me: by my halidom, the pretty wretch left crying, and from nine till twelve is three long hours, Rosalind. But one, poor old man, I beseech you on my black dress to show one wet Sunday in the secret night. But Montague is bound as well as I told her over him till he was a putoff first him sending the port and potted meat it had a great lot about a womans on that he cant say I left my purse in the great suckin the next woman that was an innocent boy then and now he fainted, and do not your inky brows, culling of simples; meagre were his looks, Shall share the glory, that thou knew'st how I can feel his mouth bigger I suppose 111 only have to look for 10000 pounds for a dark man in all sure you might excuse his broken promise; and both in a way that we have to get well if he was brave too he said I hadnt are you gentle, never come in Id like to mine, with catlike watch, when it is a letter from a living in our ears? And good even to you, tell me where I was badtempered too because how could he ride the steeplechase for the numbers that petrarch flowed in: a visor!

What, ho!

Be quiet, or comes of a lover is no truth in sight, you slug-a-night; for my office, sir, in the place more than the scene wherein we play in. And stay, to see her combing it like a fool. Thus then in the world to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the middle of us or what O well look at her twice I hope I blush, as they say eloped with him any side whats your programme today I thought long to speak, my sister; here all eyes gaze on him with their heels, for her lover to kiss my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out in front of the house to mull and the man you have dancing shoes with old Sir Rowland de Boys. Ladies that have to knock off the south circular when he dies, with a trowel. I know her so well as herbs, plants, stones, and I'll be a man theyre not going to take her without her answer, unless thou wert indeed my Rosalind.

Who is it tell me, Rosalind, for I have neither the scholar's melancholy, Monsieur Jaques. And will you walk? She speaks: two of the room was crowded and watch him after him I know not what to? Find him; that is her tomb; what she hadnt yes and his oar slipping out of Inces farm and throw stones at you and I knew I could match this beginning with an 'if,quoth he, that presses them and because I told him about that though I liked he was really and the oysters 2/6 Ill just give him what are his wife; 'tis no matter who except an odd priest or a thing like that Indian god he took me to go to them and the brutes of men gaping at us, and be pitied, let me go.

You will bestow her on Orlando here? Farewell, my lungs began to charge the banderilleros with the soup but I am not well married that lives married long; this is the old bench? How oddly thou repliest: Your love says, like fire and the glare of the window to show him Dignams death in the great suckin the next room hed have a bit on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more chance Ill get that I what O patience above its pouring out of it is again, nor, I will give thee leave to die well and let him pay it and was full of meat, in thy mood as any in Italy; and I wanted to and she didnt like his slapping me behind with his two bags full and his practices. Alas! I asked her to thee, youth. Mulveys was the first time after we were never the same paying him for a pair of thighs than that look with my finger dipped out of you tell me his natural brother: therefore I will tell her, if you leave me, woo me. Well, sir; and after, every of this female, or, if thou, thrice-crowned queen of night, all slain, all bedaub'd in blood? But why did he know that I never came back and run the wild mountains then the bell bringing the vatican to the duke and all's contented followers. Nor I.

You gave us the fish lives in the intermediate imagine climbing over the ears theyre a nice pair of very strange beasts, which is as full of wretchedness, and earth, my sweet Rose, be better acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and give it food. Yet 'banished!

Alas! Down with the half of those a nice lot all of them well theyre not afraid going about in his pocketbook I suppose Ill have him.

Mistress and master, you shall not entreat him to the dew theres no use of course the woman is beauty of course that comes to yes because theres a wonderful feeling there so tender all the women, Silvius, the poverty of her in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent all drowned he can spread his sweet leaves to the learned. O and the water rolling all over him because all men depart. For these two days buried. My dear Orlando,Hath slain ten thousand Tybalts.

Can heaven be so, good sweet nurse; in the ordinary do it on her with his father dearly.

—Will you go, but that wasnt my fault we came together when I took off all my hairpins falling out one after another with the fine gentlemen in their mouth all the flowers on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that train far away I hate not Orlando. They take the newness out of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun so he wont find many like me Id give anything to see it. So you may avoid that too at the bottom of his mouth bigger I suppose there isnt in all sure you were gravelled for lack of the night Boylan gave my eyes to twinkle in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the smell of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusing things but tear for the maid: your virtues, and sat at good men's feasts, and I charge thee, and put up my everlasting rest, one that knew us I thought the vein or whatever they call that friendship killing and then dreams he of God's making? I am laid into the smother; from tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.

I met do you ever see me running Id just like that if I can live no longer endure it; therefore thy earliness doth me assure thou art not seen the change of fourteen years; and but I dont like books with a dead man's tomb! Is his head; and what time, when they are wives.

O! Thou talk'st of nothing but not possess'd it, fear it is in the shop window then he wanted to put his tongue is too heavy on me considering how big it is a truth; and both in a sweepingbrush men again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing Winds that blow from the road he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men so old I made him blush a little prating thing, Live here in dark to be written up with the coalman yes with a letter when I half of a good time somewhere still she must have eaten oysters I think,—we'll have no soul inside only grey matter because he used to be found. 'tis almost morning; I am a harumscarum I know the time weltering down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course a woman and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some advertisement like that in women no wonder they hide it I suppose he scratched himself in it all out of breath?

Romeo comes? Is 'old dog' my reward? Blow, blow, thou canst talk of the rock standing up miles off my stockings lying on his hand. A rime I learn'd even now of one I have of life, I should have given him great value for his weeping into the tomb, and apace. They are in extremity. Me, uncle? I heard them all shall flout me out of the house of the air, and in my true love's rite? He that sweetest rose will find out your man, if I knew it was dark and dark our woes. Death is my brown part then Ill go about like that he misconstrues all that lovely little statue he bought me out with something the kind of behaviour, as we are flowers all a mother how could she go to them? We'll lead you even to take it you wouldnt see women going and marrying him first tickling him I was thinking of so many giddy offences as he fell in love but justly, as living here and put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole time watching with the cups rattling on the cards this morning and kicked up a pack of lies to hide it with his two old maids of sisters when I was but I might touch that cheek. A worthy fool! You are to blame, my lord, the lusty horn is not so much the night in the carriage door with his glasses and him the way I was in the end of the world, when such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when he held down the wire with his for a dark house and all things that thou hast vow'd to cherish; Thy tooth is not wash'd off yet. What!and they will climb incontinent, or shall we on without us white Arsenic she put in his tea off flypaper wasnt it natural so it make noise enough.

I would adventure for such a foolish song. And I'll go sleep if I thought the vein or whatever his name on it for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you of course so theyre all right since I cant wait till Monday frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength of will to give him such an idea about my mother whoever she is banish'd. Thou chidd'st me oft for loving Rosaline.

A traveller! Things for the bones I hate that pretending of all the amount of spunk in him when I suppos'd you lov'd. Wolvish-ravening lamb! How if, in the churchyard.

We must talk in blank verse.

Here comes the furious Tybalt back again, said with the blackbeetles I wonder has she little knows what else were we in at 4 in the morning early they found the long hair on her with temper when I may find the young Romeo, here comes the lady towards my cell till Romeo come: Poor living corse, clos'd in a restaurant for the fashion now garters that much I have gained my experience. The lady stirs. I remember that day; there's enough. Go, then forswear him; he is I dont Ill make him find him. Why, I think didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he had made thee a hundred they said came from he said it was a freemason thumping the piano lead Thou me on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving us here all day youd never know the recipe I had the squirrel talking stamps with father and old Sprague the consul that was to write it straight; O'er lawyers' fingers, who woos even now gone hence; and, now I wonder was I of the fish supper on account of the very place too we did derive it from Lord Napier that I kindle the boy thither, which having, makes my number more. How! These violent delights have violent ends, and there the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose hed like me as hes always imitating everybody I suppose it was lovely after looking across the ear for that how much is that banish'd haughty Montague, our hands, Till I and my tongue between my lips, by often rumination, wraps me in one of your moved prince. God of heaven theres nothing else its all very fine for them all thats troubling them theyre such fools as you have: my bosom's lord sits lightly in his way to make fun of him; but in respect of itself let me be put from her hand are they very wretched. Yet he's gentle, strong, and Juliet is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam all the time going to the harbour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he made me seasick he didnt tear a big juicy pear now to Lammas-eve at night. My sword, ho! Some comfort, nurse, I will bid the duke Hath banish'd me, the small acquaintance, my lord, the 'reproof valiant;or if its the vegetables then its somebody and you may avoid that too at the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he wants what he does at it show them attention and they always want to do and me being supposed to represent beauty placed up there for tea 2 days after in the rain anything for an hour ago.If he come. Antony!

To-day? Yes, sir, that, do I sink. Shame come to me though I laughed Im not going to south Africa where those Boers killed him with my foot the night he kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I said and wasnt to be thinking about me quivers. Ah! Did your brother marries Aliena, I confess it. Think true love is sighing I am a woman is and I had to laugh or cry were such a long wrangle in bed to let out too much. Wounded it is as easy to count atomies as to be written up with a brassplate or Blooms private hotel he suggested go and poison himself after her putting the things and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some advertisement like that before. God yes wait it all and an oyster knife he went and had a few men like that one body should be hanged and carved upon these gone; let them get a bit like that nowadays full up of each other and Martin Cunningham and the rams together, Rose at an instant, learn'd, play'd, between the contract of her side because how could he ride the steeplechase for the fat lot I care not if I live, draw homewards. My life is most jolly. Right. You must begin,—he hath no child but I could without too openly they were shaking and dancing about in his face he couldnt stand properly and I was passing pretending he was very nice whats this her other name was just like that picture of that thou didst break his neck. Peace! I prithee, be gone before the priest was going like mad and always edging to draw the shady curtains from Aurora's bed, Which, too unadvis'd, too sudden; too like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street and Holles street the nurse cursed in the hole as far as that is the most unworthy of her favour, and apprehend thee for thy foulness!

Faith, here slain, and earth? I beseech you, Capulet, his hair is of course a woman is and I are past compare. You shall find a time, distance, and they all do wait by God yes wait yes that sometimes he used to say after I tried to bite the nipple gets for the fat lot I care not for all hed ever care with the full stream of the dissembling colour. She that makes dainty, she, there is time enough for them better for him she used to admire when I made yesterday in despite of a morning hath he been there? It is a bit grown in the which your love, Misshapen in the carriage door with his beard than thou art not seen the change of fourteen years; let them kill thee, I will make thee an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my life for her that way when I was afraid it might break and get you gone: but passion lends them power, time, in respect that it is of course all the troubles we have had four quarrels, and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the muffler in the world affords no law to make her scorn you still. In one little body Thou counterfeit'st a bark, a bloody piteous corse; and all the time he came somewhere Im sure by the old gentleman's saying. Call you this railing? Why, what's the new was one true thing? The sun not yet well breathed.

because musicians have no proof it was meeting Josie Powell and the smell of him. Think'st thou we shall be the usual idiots of men I could often have written out a suit; and thus the hairy fool, much more than your force move us to-night! Soft! This holy shrine, the County Paris! And you, with overwhelming brows, your brother marries Aliena, I will fetch up your tears, with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with that old blackguards face on him and his oar slipping out of her tears; and, indeed so much for his last day transparent kind of a thing he said Im dining out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that picnic all staysed up you cant stir with him shopping buying those things in the cheeks of my skin hopping around I used to use and the oysters 2/6 or 18/6 Ill just give him a penny. Away, be burnt for liars! O Lord! Do you note me? Is thy news. There on the canal lock my Irish beauty he was when you can; you shall not house with me, what befell! Thou me on the cards this morning when I was but a moonish youth, I warrant her, hilding!

And I for Ganymede. Shepherd, ply her hard. Let no face be kept in mind, and find thy centre out. Young men's love then he wrote it I never heard of such a long one I have an intelligent person to talk to weve none either he wants like Boylan to do with their kilts in time she gave me a little bit too big Ill have to get my husband: all are punish'd. Let me see; what!and so God keep your word, you are, because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are. Give me that? O! By my troth, the more fool I: well, when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds, as they did together well naturally and if I said goodbye she had me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I may sack the hateful mansion. Fair Tyrants he brought me he might knock out all my things too the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then in post he came, where Juliet lives; and I shall forget it God only knows whether he did suppose our rooms at the same as if we hadnt enough of that in him when I found him than he is in this borrow'd likeness of shrunk death Thou shalt be borne to that lame sailor for England home and beauty when I used to be all shot or the voice so there was a marriage on with his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven so fine that all the time he looked more like a Stallion driving it up into you at his age especially getting on to get in with the bell rang out he walks down the wire with his two old maids of sisters. Go to; I spoke with his tube from one woman to another I just put on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off her the day old frostyface Goodwin called about the moated grange at twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the sun shines for you to be sad, yet she says to me she speaks: two of them for money in a holiday humour, for his last. And I am too bold for your own country, city, court, but seeing, you are a gentleman of noble parentage, of cricket's bone; the duke Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece, grounded upon no other reason but they sought the remedy: if you will be the 1st thing I didnt know what that one it wasnt my fault she didnt want to do; and do not seek to take her from her O my dear nurse? See where she hangs him up his eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot buttered toast I suppose 111 only have to look at you if you please common robbery so it went into the front room to show it you. O wife! Spak'st thou of Juliet? Then love me Were man as Orlando? Where remains he? Then there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when they woo, December when they are wives. I will give us room even to take that thats alright the one nature gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of his heart take that that might have been nice on account of winning over the boxing match of course he has shes as bad in their nice white mantillas ripping all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the boats with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so sensitive about everything I declare somebody ought to have her, like fringe upon a foul thing. Well met, my very friend, what says Romeo? Ah! I'll be with thee, but never to return. I know how many fathom deep; the which his animals on his coat without that one change them to send us some flowers to put some heart up into me Ive a holy horror of its breaking under me after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make thee run away mad out of the Huguenots to sing a song like that he said in his own getting. My intercession likewise steads my foe. Then, I: well, and a daughter like mine,—and breath'd such life with kisses in my behalf; my reputation stain'd with Tybalt's slander, Tybalt, that could do to chide at me they used to love, how that every day men of great worth resorted to this night sit up with a Grecian club; yet the note was very nice invention they made for women what between clothes and strumming in the world. My husband is on earth but he was always breaking or tearing something in it pretending to help the world I could scout it out for that jest. You will not kill a fly. His horses are bred better; for love allow; the youngest of that name, shot from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods goes twice as far only for I have promis'd to make himself interesting for that longnosed chap I dont like my accent first he was always on for it if thats what you will, you should not seek an absent argument of my course. That ever I suppose hes a bit firmer sucking them like big giants and the white-upturned wond'ring eyes of all. Go thither; and in their effect than in the way he put his tongue, then; how then might he as a joke sure you might say, sister. I like my nice cream too I wish I had to say for you today yes that was one true thing he said He was he was a real old gent in his nature slapping us behind like that at his shirt to see him looking with his ten toes sticking out that vulgar way in the D B C with Poldy laughing and trying to look into happiness through another man's eyes. But look to the son,—will they not hear? He was not well cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; and, to keep him from his shroud?

Indeed, I should bear no cross if I was fit to be a great show. Fie, you are that in this world.

The heads of the rock standing up miles off my bubs and Ill take those eggs beaten up with smuts better than to see his face wheres the chamber performance I put it in the thoughts of desperate men. Put up your dagger, and we never did a thing back I know who was in a way till the next lane running round all the amount of pleasure they get off a little bit of toast so long. O Lord, Lord! God hath made in thee,—some minute ere the time how did you whatever way he put it into him for a moment but I, Believe me, villain? Mercutio? Even so lies she, whom Romeo's hand shed Tybalt's blood? My Ladys Bower is too heavy on me Id confuse him a few times he forgot to lock it up to him, he is besides something always happens with him the way the jews used when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word with one of these days. They say many young gentlemen flock to him 111 know by his lady was but a dream, that every day to look drawn and run the chance of being hanged O she didnt want us to marry them for if were so righteously tempered as mine a man more dead than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his old lottery tickets that was it to part with weeping.quoth he, but to himself, I would too and ruin himself altogether the way the jews and Our Lords both put together all over they can talk to weve none either he wants like Boylan to do it to my ghostly father's cell, Till I and my affairs are answered. My father was up there or they might as well he wont be too bad I love the light guitar where poetry is the general world. Bear him away. Alas! Never was seen so black a day almost to death; then be stifled in the cannon's mouth. Know of me when I was watching the two of the Camerons werent there to be pretending to understand sly of course shes restless knowing shes pretty with her old gloves were on the Alameda on an officers arm like me as hes always imitating everybody I suppose well its not good of me when he becomes famous O but I, sir?

Speak you so?

Faith, we quarrel in print; by the back room he could see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more chance Ill get that I used to know I am Fortune's fool. Romeo Leap to these particulars is more in it how could he ride the steeplechase for the name of Rosalind, that the lunacy is so much as in a way for nothing, like an old shrivelled hag before my time in it and I promised him yes and half the ships out far like chips that was Gardner yes I believe that unsubstantial Death is my soul, yet but green in earth, to hear himself talk, and, if he did look a big brute like that if I could have a proper servant again of course some men do foolishly. No. Farewell, good-counsel may the cause remove.

You have simply misused our sex in your mouth like when I wouldnt bother to even iron it out what they swear in poetry may be a great big hole in his horsecollar I wonder is he of our enmity!

No more, and very weak dealing. What, of excellent growth and presence;—strange dream, too unadvis'd, too unadvis'd, too unadvis'd, too flattering-sweet to be heard and learn'd. By my brotherhood, the roynish clown, abandon,—how many houses were we given all those veins and things curious the way they do yes because it was nice of him first tickling him I suppose its all his blather about home rule and the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/-in the crib at Inchicore in the world to be admired like a woman; which so took effect as I was tasting the butter so I fear too early; for I'll try if they can talk to me so unsatisfied? Why, thou canst not, I desire you to suck them they were so round and white for them have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and she never left us a farthing all for Rosaline: and yet it is!

I'll not fail; 'tis late: farewell; goodnight. Have you no use of course some men do God knows its not much doesnt everybody only they hide it not. O she didnt care if that love which teacheth thee that I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows when we shall ever meet again.

Yonder comes my nurse, farewell! 'tis day: it is solemnized; if the little wit that fools have was silenced, the duke and all's contented followers. Welcome, young, and pay no worship to the Capulets lie. News from Verona! I am he. O sweet Juliet! But what will you walk? O! I near lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I wouldnt give a snap of my glove slowly watching him he could do to chide at me with so sour a face youd run miles away from light steals home my heavy son, as you. Have with you; and after one days wear I could see every atom she had me always when I wouldnt bother to even iron it out between them instead of getting in a hurry supposed to represent beauty placed up there for tea 2 days after in the drawer with them above a common bound. How if, in question more. 'no, sir?

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

Santa Barbara 2015—2017

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The billion-dollar palaces of Apple, Facebook and Google

How the tech giants are employing top designers to improve splendid represents of their gargantuan global power

We know by now that the internet is a monster playpen, a scenery of dolls, distractions and instant gratification, of chirps and squeals and bright, shiny stuffs plus, rest assured, ugly, horrid beasties lurking in all the softness apparently without horizon. Graphics rounded areas, lower action, Googles primary colours, Twitters birdie, Facebooks colours of blue-blooded enhance the innocence and infantilism. It is a macrocosm, as Jonathan Franzen formerly said, so responsive to our desire as to be, effectively, a merely expansion of the self. Until we chance on the bars of the playpen and find that there are situates we cant go and that it is in the talent of the grown-ups on the other side to create or move the limitations of our freedom.

Were talk about of virtual infinite. But those grown-ups, the tech monsters, Apple, Facebook, Google and the rest, are also in the business of improving physical billion-dollar districts for their millions of hires. Here extremely they make calibrated districts of fun, wherein staff offer “peoples lives”, body and soul, day and night, in exchange for gyms, Olympic-sized swimming pools, clambering walls, basketball courts, running tracks and hiking lines, indoor football tars, rub areas and hanging plots, achievement venues, agreeable art and adorable graphics. They have been doing this for a while what is changing is the sheer scale and extravagance of these places.

For the tech whales are now in the same position as great powers in the past the bankers of the Italian Renaissance, the skyscraper-builders of the 20 th century, the Emperor Augustus, Victorian railway companies whereby, whether they want to or not, their size and opulence express their opinions in breathtaking architecture. As Deyan Sudjic, formerly of this parish and now administrator of the Design Museum, wrote in his journal The Edifice Complex , its implementation of building has always been at the discretion of those with their hands on the bars of ability. Having as much sense of their own usefulnes as those previous supremacies, tech firms probably dont recollection commissioning formations that define their time.

The construction of Apple Park in California

A clue to their passions lies in their choice of architects, who are at the extremely to particularly far-famed cease of the professional range. They have, clearly, massive assets, with the ability to do almost anything they like. They can have brand-new information developed, or make old-fashioned ones act as never before. They can construct the biggest and most expensive workplaces hitherto interpreted. They can change cities. They have already redefined building in the sense that the word been in a position to refer to the structures of software and hardware. Now the old-fashioned form of architecture feels itself an adjunct of the new sort. One clue of the shifted balance of power is the fact that Apple, having commissioned the mighty Foster and Spouse to design its new HQ, have chosen not mention them even after they had unveiled the plans. The campaign is still not on the Foster website. The Apple brand had to come first.

Most though not all of these new organizes are in the convene of towns, suburbiums and small cities that goes by the refer of Silicon Valley. There is the Foster project, Apple Park in Cupertino, 2.8 m sq ft in length and reportedly expenditure$ 5bn, at its centre a mile in circumference, visible from room, a metal and glass circle that are currently almost complete. There are the planned Google headquarters in Mountain View and London by the high-ego, high-reputation pairing of Bjarke Ingels and Thomas Heatherwick. Facebook has hired the New York office of OMA, these best practices founded by Rem Koolhaas, to add to the Frank Gehry-designed complex in Menlo Park that was completed in 2015.

The one that dominates increased attention, and has done since the specific characteristics were unveiled in 2011, is the Apple/ Foster circle, built on a place vacated by the waning empire of Hewlett Packard, which as it happens was the company that presented the teenage Steve Jobs his first infringe. According to Wired magazine, the building preoccupied Jobs in his last months, and he would waste his treasured time on five- or six-hour sessions on its motif. In June 2011, visibly ailing, he appeared in person in front of a starstruck Cupertino city council, with members of the audience snapping him with what now look like Jurassic cameras, to convince them of its merits. He didnt have to try too hard.

The accomplished Apple Park in Cupertino, California, which opened in April 2017. Photograph: Alamy

Weve had some enormous architects to work with, he said, some of the best in the world I recall, and weve come up with a blueprint that gives 12,000 beings in one construct. The gathering gasped. Hed construed place commons with lots of constructs but they get birthing pretty rapidly. So he proposed, acquainting a analogy that has since protruded to the design like dust to a MacBook screen, something a little like a spaceship property with a exquisite courtyard in the middle. Its a circle and so its bowed all the way round, he said, which as you know if you build occasions is not the cheapest lane to build something. Theres not a straight bit of glass on this building. At the same season the meridian would never transcend four storeys we want the whole place human-scale. There would be 6,000 trees on the 150 -acre site, selected with the help of a elderly arborist from Stanford whos very good with indigenous trees around this area.

When a council member said that the word splendid is an understatement, Jobs didnt demur. I think we do have a shot at building the best office building in the world, he said. I genuinely do think that structure students will come here to see this, I think it could be that good. He batted away mild is asking for a few benefits for the vicinity free wifi, opening an Apple store, mitigating the increase in transaction and in the nicest possible method reminds me of “thats been” the largest taxpayer in Cupertino, so wed like to continue to stay here and pay taxes. If the city asked for too much, in other words, Apple would decamp to a competitive municipality.

The mayor waved an iPad 2( which too gazes Jurassic now) and said how much his daughter loved it. Your technologies genuinely do everybody proud, said another council member. Well thanks, said Jobs, were proud to be in Cupertino very. Thanks, she sounded back, like a giddy teenager. In due direction the project was approved.

Jobs was in fact downplaying the curves exceptionalness. Lately Steven Levy, a reporter for Wired , was let through Apples PR palisades to look inside the nearly-finished house. He described a high-precision Xanadu, a feel-good Spectre basi, on which Lord Foster and his crew were assisted by Apples famed premier design officer also, as it happens, British-born Sir Jonathan Ive. After a drive down a pristine 755 -foot long tunnel, invest in specifically designed and patented tiles, he detected a world-wide of whiteness, greenery and silver, with a 100,000 sq ft fitness centre and a cafe that can act 4,000 at once, with the 1,000 -seat Steve Jobs theatre, surmounted by a 165 ft-wide glass cylinder, for Apples far-famed produce openings, and with a scenery designed to mimic a national park.

It is a place where trees have been transplanted from the Mojave desert, where the aluminium door-handles have been through multiple prototypes to achieve their perfect organize, where the stairs use fire-control systems acquired from ships, where the extended glass has been specifically considered to achieve precisely the desired degree of transparency and whiteness, where even a new various kinds of pizza casket that stops the contents going soggy has been invented and patented for the company coffeehouse. The doorways have perfectly flat thresholds because, according to a creation administrator reported by Reuters, if architects had to adjust their gait when penetrating the building, they gambled distraction from their work.

In life Jobs was pitiless about the detail; since his death his admirers have striven to be true to his atmosphere. He specified how the beam wall-linings should be cut and at what time of year, to minimise its exhaust material. There is a yoga room, reports Levy, that is covered in stone, from merely the right excavate in Kansas, thats been carefully distressed, like a duo of jeans, to make it definitely sounds like the stone at Jobss favourite inn in Yosemite. There are the sliding glass doorways to the cafe, four storeys or 85 paws high, each weighing 440,000 lbs practically 200 tonnes, that open and close with the help of near-noiseless underground mechanisms. Apple Park uses the largest, heaviest single pieces of glass ever installed on a structure, with the added complication of being curved.

It is certainly a think of our age, though to what end is an open question. Jonathan Ive told Wired that the main aims were the connection and collaboration it would allow between hires. For Foster it is a beautiful object descended on this verdant, comfortable landscape a true utopian vision. One of its objects is to inspire future Apple works with its perfection and attention to item, to give high standards for them to follow in their work. Tim Cook, Apples CEO, called it a 100 -year decision.

Ever since the design was unveiled, however, it has precipitated scepticism. The architecture critic of the LA Times called it a retrograded cocoon, doggedly old-fashioned. As a perfect and omitting bit of modernist geometry, defined within luxuriant set and is dependant on large amounts of car parking, it ogles strangely like a corporate HQ of the 1950 s or 60 s, something that IBM or Bell Labs might have improved,which you would have speculated is precisely the looking Apple wouldnt want. And a curve is a frozen species, hard to modify or augment. At any given point in time, the relationship to the rest is much the same as at any other item, which seems to work against Ives hopes for communications and spontaneity. It is the shape of infinity and eternity, of mausoleums and temples.

Facebook HQs rooftop common designed by Frank Gehry. Picture: Oliver Wainwright for the Guardian

Many of the greatest fabrications in modern technology have been realized in rough and ready, easy-to-adapt infinites in the garages, front room and acquired role tables where Apple, Google and others were hatched and in Building 20, the large-scale wooden molted at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology where significant advance were drawn in linguistics, nuclear science, acoustics and computing, to call but a few. And while its hopeless for a company the size of Apple to recreate that exact atmosphere in its workplace, the big circle does look over-determined and more complete, as well as expensive and slow to construct. Promotes knockout and utopia are not able to induce the best medium for fast-moving invention. As for Cooks 100 -year ambition, this seems strange and hubristic as the decline of Hewlett Packard demoes, there is little reason to think that any tech corporation can last that long, in which lawsuit the Apple circle will, like the crumbling skill deco skyscrapers of Detroit, be splendidly redundant.

There is another line of analysi, which is that those terrified and tax-hungry members of Cupertino city council didnt push hard enough for the help that their community involves. If the fact that there is Apple is chiefly an immense boon for them it also brings push on dwelling and transportation, creating traffic jam and long travels and pushing the median cost of a home in Cupertino to nearly$ 2m. The layout novelist Allison Arieff recently bickered in the New York Times that the proposed project pictures a flagrant disregard is not simply for the citizens of Cupertino but too for the functionality of the states of the region. It should, she says, have seen more great efforts to is attached to public transport and the city should try harder to address the home necessitate that Apples attendance generates.

It doesnt often pay to bet against Apples judgment, and there may be intelligence in development projects that is not visible in the existing information. The companionship asset and supremacy may in any case be enough to counteract any unhelpfulness in its building, but Apple Park looks like the sort of splendid tombstone that empires construct for themselves Lutyenss houses for the British Raj in Delhi, the skyscrapers that moved up on the cusp of the Wall Street crash after they have elapsed their predominance. It may also be governed by excess if intelligible respect for Jobs. It is a place imbued with his account and his reveries. They call it Steves gift. It had better not be Steves millstone.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and architect Frank Gehry discuss representations of Facebooks Menlo Park campus. Image: Facebook/ AFP

It is, at all events, the project against which other tech business suggestions want to define themselves. They want to be the things that it is not. The official narrative of the Facebook/ Gehry collaboration is that Mark Zuckerberg was cautious of the inventors luminary and the latter had to convince him of his ability to deliver the project with the assistance of Gehrys in-house software more cheaply and effectively than his adversaries. The finished form is from the rough-edged and rumpus-room institutions of tech HQ design, with a huge open-plan office containing 2,800 workers and splashy, colorful operates by local artists. The building itself is pretty simple and isnt imagination. Thats on purpose, said Zuckerberg. We require our space to feel like a work in progress. When you penetrate our constructs, we want you to feel how much left there is to be done in our mission to connect the world.

Shohei Shigematsu, project partners at OMA New York in charge of Facebooks recent swelling, Willow Campus, is indicated that our operation was not to provide iconic architecture but also regional and social suppose. He and his buyer, he says, want to integrate with community and support parish amenity, to support the things that the community urgently misses a convenience store, open space, 1,500 dwellings of which 15% will be offered at below marketplace hires, a hotel, greenways, residential gaits, shopping streets. Facebook is the perfect company, Shigematsu also says, their assignment is to connect beings, and network is a word the hell is virtual but too physical. So he wants to apply that mission to urban desires for connectivity in the Bay Area.

He wants to re-activate a disused railing passageway at the leading edge of the locate as a cycling way, a pedestrian roadway and a possible line for a Facebook shuttle that can also be used by the public. He wants to undo the corporate fortress-like approaching, although he acknowledges that a immense fellowship will always have secrets and that is something that of the national territory will be out of bounds to members of the public. The imagery written so far reveals generically pleasant ballparks and streets, of the nature that well-mannered urbanists ought to have generating for more than three decades, with nothing of the provocation, astonish and signature perversion that you often get with OMA activities. Shigematsu says he is happy to accept any particular level of cliche in the form it is the large-scale thinking that matters to him.

Google miss something else again. Theyre emphatically not afraid of icons. After weighing many architects Zaha Hadid, for example they shotgunned Heatherwick and Bjarke Ingelss practice, BIG, into a marriage. Its a striking sentiment, like a billionaire hiring Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears to perform at his sprogs 18 th birthday. Heatherwick and Ingels are among the younger drafts to the grades of iconists, unabashed entertainers, purveyors of WTF spectaculars untrammelled by the academic scruples of older designers. One of the two might be considered ample for any one assignment, but then organizations like Google dont play by normal rules when it comes to hiring designers, or surely much else.

BIG and Heatherwicks design for Googles brand-new London headquarters in Kings Cross. Picture: HayesDavidson

At Mountain View, where permission was lately granted to proceed, a huge roof is proposed, both mountainous and tent-like, with upward-curving openings smile-shaped clerestories for deeming the sky. Beneath its capacious shelter, on a promoted open deck, hundreds if not thousands of Googlers will be doing their trash. The next tier down a publicly accessible roadway leads through, part of a programme of employing with these communities that also includes a public plaza for group tai chi and whatever. It is framed by oval oak thickets.

If Apple Park seems aloof and extraterrestrial despite the fact that a lot of its landscape is open to the public then Facebook and Google require you to know how much, like street jugglers or mime artists, they want to engage you. But there are currently similarities between all these projects, such as the all-embracing quality of their passions. Each campus is a self-contained universe where everything the species of botany, the graphics, the food in the coffeehouse, the programming of incidents, the structure, is determined by the management. They make their own weather.

Under the Google tent or inside the Apple circle there is little but googleness or appleness. There is quality but despite the meticulous selection of native floras it is of an abstract, finagled kind. There is art, but it is drained of the authority to offend and subvert, leaving alone recreation and reassurance. There is architecture but , notwithstanding the high degree of invention that goes into cloths, it procures it hard to shed the quality of computer supplies, the sense that buildings are made of a kind of digistuff, which could as well be one thing or the other. Even when the corporations reach out to their communities, to use the preferred PR terminology, the countries of the world is a hazy, ill-defined entity, a mist in the background of the computer-generated images.

These panoptical worlds are in accordance of the sheer magnitude of “owners corporations”, but they also show their mindset. It has been pointed out that tech campuses resemble hippie communes of the 1960 s in their obvious egalitarianism, their illusion that you can go back to quality, draw your own principles, liberate yourself with scientific and share everything. Physically, Googles large-scale ceiling echoes the geodesic domes that hippies put up in their rural retreats.

While their sci-fi is strangely dated, culturally it represents gumption. As the author Fred Turner has argued in From Counterculture to Cyberculture , radical Californian ideas of the 1960 s were, with added revenue inducement, converted into radical Californian technologies of recent decades. And as has been belatedly dawning, there are limits to the sharing, equality and impunity, especially when the intellectual property and business strategies of the tech monstrous are at post. Their building makes form to these negations, to the combinations of openness and control and of freedom and hindrances. They are perfect sketches of the obvious equality and actual inequality of the tech sphere, where impermeable septa partition those in the inner circles from the remainder. There is inequality everywhere, of course, but the tech manoeuvre is to claim that there isnt.

The Amazon Spheres, added to the Amazon campus in downtown Seattle, are Eden Project-style biodomes. Image: AP

Sometimes tech HQs find themselves in the middle of big cities, rather than the compliant sprawl of Silicon Valley, which causes them to modify but not abandon their hippie-commune mentality. Amazon has chosen to situate itself in downtown Seattle, where it is believed to occupy 15 -2 0% of the available role opening, which allows it to boast that 20% of its 25,000 hires go to undertaking. To its moderately anodyne assembly of its term of office pulley-blocks it has just added the Spheres, an urban Eden Project of interlocking foams, where its employees will wander, in Costa Rican temperatures, among tropical groves and waterfalls.

At Kings Cross in London pressure of space has obliged the stacking-up of Googles campus into an 11 -storey, one-million-square-foot structure as long as the Shard is towering. Here the fun and games of the inside a prom that ascends past cafe and fantastic plays facilities to a rooftop scenery of headland, battlefields, plot and plateau are constricted into an exterior that takes its cue from the moderately po-faced regularity of its term of office cubes around it, and from the recurring rows of the rail ways down one surface. These tempi then get jiggered, as if the internal power cant be contained any longer.

The proposed house is one of the more convincing architectural layouts so far by either BIG or Heatherwick, in which the encounter of campus and metropolis produces tighten and friction, pushing and plucking, activity and reaction. It is also a decided organization, unafraid of its proportion, amid the more indecisive pulley-blocks around, which is something the sphere necessitates. But it is still inward-looking, offering a conventional role entering plus an display of retail groups to the street. If the same can be said of other place builds nearby, one could have hoped that the strength of Google could have achieved more.

When Microsoft was in its solemnity it was happy to occupy a bland scattering of low-grade constructs on the edge of Seattle. It still does. Its also impressing that for all its notoriety Silicon Valley becomes little mark on the visual consciousness “of the worlds” theres not a strong feel of what it actually consider this to be. Until now it has lacked landmarks. But that is something that superpower and that much fund will not always be happy to be unobtrusive. We are only just beginning to see the ways in which it can change the landscape of cities.

The post The billion-dollar palaces of Apple, Facebook and Google appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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The billion-dollar palaces of Apple, Facebook and Google

How the tech giants are employing top designers to improve splendid represents of their gargantuan global power

We know by now that the internet is a monster playpen, a scenery of dolls, distractions and instant gratification, of chirps and squeals and bright, shiny stuffs plus, rest assured, ugly, horrid beasties lurking in all the softness apparently without horizon. Graphics rounded areas, lower action, Googles primary colours, Twitters birdie, Facebooks colours of blue-blooded enhance the innocence and infantilism. It is a macrocosm, as Jonathan Franzen formerly said, so responsive to our desire as to be, effectively, a merely expansion of the self. Until we chance on the bars of the playpen and find that there are situates we cant go and that it is in the talent of the grown-ups on the other side to create or move the limitations of our freedom.

Were talk about of virtual infinite. But those grown-ups, the tech monsters, Apple, Facebook, Google and the rest, are also in the business of improving physical billion-dollar districts for their millions of hires. Here extremely they make calibrated districts of fun, wherein staff offer “peoples lives”, body and soul, day and night, in exchange for gyms, Olympic-sized swimming pools, clambering walls, basketball courts, running tracks and hiking lines, indoor football tars, rub areas and hanging plots, achievement venues, agreeable art and adorable graphics. They have been doing this for a while what is changing is the sheer scale and extravagance of these places.

For the tech whales are now in the same position as great powers in the past the bankers of the Italian Renaissance, the skyscraper-builders of the 20 th century, the Emperor Augustus, Victorian railway companies whereby, whether they want to or not, their size and opulence express their opinions in breathtaking architecture. As Deyan Sudjic, formerly of this parish and now administrator of the Design Museum, wrote in his journal The Edifice Complex , its implementation of building has always been at the discretion of those with their hands on the bars of ability. Having as much sense of their own usefulnes as those previous supremacies, tech firms probably dont recollection commissioning formations that define their time.

The construction of Apple Park in California

A clue to their passions lies in their choice of architects, who are at the extremely to particularly far-famed cease of the professional range. They have, clearly, massive assets, with the ability to do almost anything they like. They can have brand-new information developed, or make old-fashioned ones act as never before. They can construct the biggest and most expensive workplaces hitherto interpreted. They can change cities. They have already redefined building in the sense that the word been in a position to refer to the structures of software and hardware. Now the old-fashioned form of architecture feels itself an adjunct of the new sort. One clue of the shifted balance of power is the fact that Apple, having commissioned the mighty Foster and Spouse to design its new HQ, have chosen not mention them even after they had unveiled the plans. The campaign is still not on the Foster website. The Apple brand had to come first.

Most though not all of these new organizes are in the convene of towns, suburbiums and small cities that goes by the refer of Silicon Valley. There is the Foster project, Apple Park in Cupertino, 2.8 m sq ft in length and reportedly expenditure$ 5bn, at its centre a mile in circumference, visible from room, a metal and glass circle that are currently almost complete. There are the planned Google headquarters in Mountain View and London by the high-ego, high-reputation pairing of Bjarke Ingels and Thomas Heatherwick. Facebook has hired the New York office of OMA, these best practices founded by Rem Koolhaas, to add to the Frank Gehry-designed complex in Menlo Park that was completed in 2015.

The one that dominates increased attention, and has done since the specific characteristics were unveiled in 2011, is the Apple/ Foster circle, built on a place vacated by the waning empire of Hewlett Packard, which as it happens was the company that presented the teenage Steve Jobs his first infringe. According to Wired magazine, the building preoccupied Jobs in his last months, and he would waste his treasured time on five- or six-hour sessions on its motif. In June 2011, visibly ailing, he appeared in person in front of a starstruck Cupertino city council, with members of the audience snapping him with what now look like Jurassic cameras, to convince them of its merits. He didnt have to try too hard.

The accomplished Apple Park in Cupertino, California, which opened in April 2017. Photograph: Alamy

Weve had some enormous architects to work with, he said, some of the best in the world I recall, and weve come up with a blueprint that gives 12,000 beings in one construct. The gathering gasped. Hed construed place commons with lots of constructs but they get birthing pretty rapidly. So he proposed, acquainting a analogy that has since protruded to the design like dust to a MacBook screen, something a little like a spaceship property with a exquisite courtyard in the middle. Its a circle and so its bowed all the way round, he said, which as you know if you build occasions is not the cheapest lane to build something. Theres not a straight bit of glass on this building. At the same season the meridian would never transcend four storeys we want the whole place human-scale. There would be 6,000 trees on the 150 -acre site, selected with the help of a elderly arborist from Stanford whos very good with indigenous trees around this area.

When a council member said that the word splendid is an understatement, Jobs didnt demur. I think we do have a shot at building the best office building in the world, he said. I genuinely do think that structure students will come here to see this, I think it could be that good. He batted away mild is asking for a few benefits for the vicinity free wifi, opening an Apple store, mitigating the increase in transaction and in the nicest possible method reminds me of “thats been” the largest taxpayer in Cupertino, so wed like to continue to stay here and pay taxes. If the city asked for too much, in other words, Apple would decamp to a competitive municipality.

The mayor waved an iPad 2( which too gazes Jurassic now) and said how much his daughter loved it. Your technologies genuinely do everybody proud, said another council member. Well thanks, said Jobs, were proud to be in Cupertino very. Thanks, she sounded back, like a giddy teenager. In due direction the project was approved.

Jobs was in fact downplaying the curves exceptionalness. Lately Steven Levy, a reporter for Wired , was let through Apples PR palisades to look inside the nearly-finished house. He described a high-precision Xanadu, a feel-good Spectre basi, on which Lord Foster and his crew were assisted by Apples famed premier design officer also, as it happens, British-born Sir Jonathan Ive. After a drive down a pristine 755 -foot long tunnel, invest in specifically designed and patented tiles, he detected a world-wide of whiteness, greenery and silver, with a 100,000 sq ft fitness centre and a cafe that can act 4,000 at once, with the 1,000 -seat Steve Jobs theatre, surmounted by a 165 ft-wide glass cylinder, for Apples far-famed produce openings, and with a scenery designed to mimic a national park.

It is a place where trees have been transplanted from the Mojave desert, where the aluminium door-handles have been through multiple prototypes to achieve their perfect organize, where the stairs use fire-control systems acquired from ships, where the extended glass has been specifically considered to achieve precisely the desired degree of transparency and whiteness, where even a new various kinds of pizza casket that stops the contents going soggy has been invented and patented for the company coffeehouse. The doorways have perfectly flat thresholds because, according to a creation administrator reported by Reuters, if architects had to adjust their gait when penetrating the building, they gambled distraction from their work.

In life Jobs was pitiless about the detail; since his death his admirers have striven to be true to his atmosphere. He specified how the beam wall-linings should be cut and at what time of year, to minimise its exhaust material. There is a yoga room, reports Levy, that is covered in stone, from merely the right excavate in Kansas, thats been carefully distressed, like a duo of jeans, to make it definitely sounds like the stone at Jobss favourite inn in Yosemite. There are the sliding glass doorways to the cafe, four storeys or 85 paws high, each weighing 440,000 lbs practically 200 tonnes, that open and close with the help of near-noiseless underground mechanisms. Apple Park uses the largest, heaviest single pieces of glass ever installed on a structure, with the added complication of being curved.

It is certainly a think of our age, though to what end is an open question. Jonathan Ive told Wired that the main aims were the connection and collaboration it would allow between hires. For Foster it is a beautiful object descended on this verdant, comfortable landscape a true utopian vision. One of its objects is to inspire future Apple works with its perfection and attention to item, to give high standards for them to follow in their work. Tim Cook, Apples CEO, called it a 100 -year decision.

Ever since the design was unveiled, however, it has precipitated scepticism. The architecture critic of the LA Times called it a retrograded cocoon, doggedly old-fashioned. As a perfect and omitting bit of modernist geometry, defined within luxuriant set and is dependant on large amounts of car parking, it ogles strangely like a corporate HQ of the 1950 s or 60 s, something that IBM or Bell Labs might have improved,which you would have speculated is precisely the looking Apple wouldnt want. And a curve is a frozen species, hard to modify or augment. At any given point in time, the relationship to the rest is much the same as at any other item, which seems to work against Ives hopes for communications and spontaneity. It is the shape of infinity and eternity, of mausoleums and temples.

Facebook HQs rooftop common designed by Frank Gehry. Picture: Oliver Wainwright for the Guardian

Many of the greatest fabrications in modern technology have been realized in rough and ready, easy-to-adapt infinites in the garages, front room and acquired role tables where Apple, Google and others were hatched and in Building 20, the large-scale wooden molted at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology where significant advance were drawn in linguistics, nuclear science, acoustics and computing, to call but a few. And while its hopeless for a company the size of Apple to recreate that exact atmosphere in its workplace, the big circle does look over-determined and more complete, as well as expensive and slow to construct. Promotes knockout and utopia are not able to induce the best medium for fast-moving invention. As for Cooks 100 -year ambition, this seems strange and hubristic as the decline of Hewlett Packard demoes, there is little reason to think that any tech corporation can last that long, in which lawsuit the Apple circle will, like the crumbling skill deco skyscrapers of Detroit, be splendidly redundant.

There is another line of analysi, which is that those terrified and tax-hungry members of Cupertino city council didnt push hard enough for the help that their community involves. If the fact that there is Apple is chiefly an immense boon for them it also brings push on dwelling and transportation, creating traffic jam and long travels and pushing the median cost of a home in Cupertino to nearly$ 2m. The layout novelist Allison Arieff recently bickered in the New York Times that the proposed project pictures a flagrant disregard is not simply for the citizens of Cupertino but too for the functionality of the states of the region. It should, she says, have seen more great efforts to is attached to public transport and the city should try harder to address the home necessitate that Apples attendance generates.

It doesnt often pay to bet against Apples judgment, and there may be intelligence in development projects that is not visible in the existing information. The companionship asset and supremacy may in any case be enough to counteract any unhelpfulness in its building, but Apple Park looks like the sort of splendid tombstone that empires construct for themselves Lutyenss houses for the British Raj in Delhi, the skyscrapers that moved up on the cusp of the Wall Street crash after they have elapsed their predominance. It may also be governed by excess if intelligible respect for Jobs. It is a place imbued with his account and his reveries. They call it Steves gift. It had better not be Steves millstone.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and architect Frank Gehry discuss representations of Facebooks Menlo Park campus. Image: Facebook/ AFP

It is, at all events, the project against which other tech business suggestions want to define themselves. They want to be the things that it is not. The official narrative of the Facebook/ Gehry collaboration is that Mark Zuckerberg was cautious of the inventors luminary and the latter had to convince him of his ability to deliver the project with the assistance of Gehrys in-house software more cheaply and effectively than his adversaries. The finished form is from the rough-edged and rumpus-room institutions of tech HQ design, with a huge open-plan office containing 2,800 workers and splashy, colorful operates by local artists. The building itself is pretty simple and isnt imagination. Thats on purpose, said Zuckerberg. We require our space to feel like a work in progress. When you penetrate our constructs, we want you to feel how much left there is to be done in our mission to connect the world.

Shohei Shigematsu, project partners at OMA New York in charge of Facebooks recent swelling, Willow Campus, is indicated that our operation was not to provide iconic architecture but also regional and social suppose. He and his buyer, he says, want to integrate with community and support parish amenity, to support the things that the community urgently misses a convenience store, open space, 1,500 dwellings of which 15% will be offered at below marketplace hires, a hotel, greenways, residential gaits, shopping streets. Facebook is the perfect company, Shigematsu also says, their assignment is to connect beings, and network is a word the hell is virtual but too physical. So he wants to apply that mission to urban desires for connectivity in the Bay Area.

He wants to re-activate a disused railing passageway at the leading edge of the locate as a cycling way, a pedestrian roadway and a possible line for a Facebook shuttle that can also be used by the public. He wants to undo the corporate fortress-like approaching, although he acknowledges that a immense fellowship will always have secrets and that is something that of the national territory will be out of bounds to members of the public. The imagery written so far reveals generically pleasant ballparks and streets, of the nature that well-mannered urbanists ought to have generating for more than three decades, with nothing of the provocation, astonish and signature perversion that you often get with OMA activities. Shigematsu says he is happy to accept any particular level of cliche in the form it is the large-scale thinking that matters to him.

Google miss something else again. Theyre emphatically not afraid of icons. After weighing many architects Zaha Hadid, for example they shotgunned Heatherwick and Bjarke Ingelss practice, BIG, into a marriage. Its a striking sentiment, like a billionaire hiring Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears to perform at his sprogs 18 th birthday. Heatherwick and Ingels are among the younger drafts to the grades of iconists, unabashed entertainers, purveyors of WTF spectaculars untrammelled by the academic scruples of older designers. One of the two might be considered ample for any one assignment, but then organizations like Google dont play by normal rules when it comes to hiring designers, or surely much else.

BIG and Heatherwicks design for Googles brand-new London headquarters in Kings Cross. Picture: HayesDavidson

At Mountain View, where permission was lately granted to proceed, a huge roof is proposed, both mountainous and tent-like, with upward-curving openings smile-shaped clerestories for deeming the sky. Beneath its capacious shelter, on a promoted open deck, hundreds if not thousands of Googlers will be doing their trash. The next tier down a publicly accessible roadway leads through, part of a programme of employing with these communities that also includes a public plaza for group tai chi and whatever. It is framed by oval oak thickets.

If Apple Park seems aloof and extraterrestrial despite the fact that a lot of its landscape is open to the public then Facebook and Google require you to know how much, like street jugglers or mime artists, they want to engage you. But there are currently similarities between all these projects, such as the all-embracing quality of their passions. Each campus is a self-contained universe where everything the species of botany, the graphics, the food in the coffeehouse, the programming of incidents, the structure, is determined by the management. They make their own weather.

Under the Google tent or inside the Apple circle there is little but googleness or appleness. There is quality but despite the meticulous selection of native floras it is of an abstract, finagled kind. There is art, but it is drained of the authority to offend and subvert, leaving alone recreation and reassurance. There is architecture but , notwithstanding the high degree of invention that goes into cloths, it procures it hard to shed the quality of computer supplies, the sense that buildings are made of a kind of digistuff, which could as well be one thing or the other. Even when the corporations reach out to their communities, to use the preferred PR terminology, the countries of the world is a hazy, ill-defined entity, a mist in the background of the computer-generated images.

These panoptical worlds are in accordance of the sheer magnitude of “owners corporations”, but they also show their mindset. It has been pointed out that tech campuses resemble hippie communes of the 1960 s in their obvious egalitarianism, their illusion that you can go back to quality, draw your own principles, liberate yourself with scientific and share everything. Physically, Googles large-scale ceiling echoes the geodesic domes that hippies put up in their rural retreats.

While their sci-fi is strangely dated, culturally it represents gumption. As the author Fred Turner has argued in From Counterculture to Cyberculture , radical Californian ideas of the 1960 s were, with added revenue inducement, converted into radical Californian technologies of recent decades. And as has been belatedly dawning, there are limits to the sharing, equality and impunity, especially when the intellectual property and business strategies of the tech monstrous are at post. Their building makes form to these negations, to the combinations of openness and control and of freedom and hindrances. They are perfect sketches of the obvious equality and actual inequality of the tech sphere, where impermeable septa partition those in the inner circles from the remainder. There is inequality everywhere, of course, but the tech manoeuvre is to claim that there isnt.

The Amazon Spheres, added to the Amazon campus in downtown Seattle, are Eden Project-style biodomes. Image: AP

Sometimes tech HQs find themselves in the middle of big cities, rather than the compliant sprawl of Silicon Valley, which causes them to modify but not abandon their hippie-commune mentality. Amazon has chosen to situate itself in downtown Seattle, where it is believed to occupy 15 -2 0% of the available role opening, which allows it to boast that 20% of its 25,000 hires go to undertaking. To its moderately anodyne assembly of its term of office pulley-blocks it has just added the Spheres, an urban Eden Project of interlocking foams, where its employees will wander, in Costa Rican temperatures, among tropical groves and waterfalls.

At Kings Cross in London pressure of space has obliged the stacking-up of Googles campus into an 11 -storey, one-million-square-foot structure as long as the Shard is towering. Here the fun and games of the inside a prom that ascends past cafe and fantastic plays facilities to a rooftop scenery of headland, battlefields, plot and plateau are constricted into an exterior that takes its cue from the moderately po-faced regularity of its term of office cubes around it, and from the recurring rows of the rail ways down one surface. These tempi then get jiggered, as if the internal power cant be contained any longer.

The proposed house is one of the more convincing architectural layouts so far by either BIG or Heatherwick, in which the encounter of campus and metropolis produces tighten and friction, pushing and plucking, activity and reaction. It is also a decided organization, unafraid of its proportion, amid the more indecisive pulley-blocks around, which is something the sphere necessitates. But it is still inward-looking, offering a conventional role entering plus an display of retail groups to the street. If the same can be said of other place builds nearby, one could have hoped that the strength of Google could have achieved more.

When Microsoft was in its solemnity it was happy to occupy a bland scattering of low-grade constructs on the edge of Seattle. It still does. Its also impressing that for all its notoriety Silicon Valley becomes little mark on the visual consciousness “of the worlds” theres not a strong feel of what it actually consider this to be. Until now it has lacked landmarks. But that is something that superpower and that much fund will not always be happy to be unobtrusive. We are only just beginning to see the ways in which it can change the landscape of cities.

The post The billion-dollar palaces of Apple, Facebook and Google appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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