#i don't drink anymore cause i'm on so many medications & shit

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i'm a woman with substance use disorder. i didn't get sober through some grand noble journey to Get Better (not that there's a single thing wrong with that!). how i got sober differed depending on the substance. one medication, for a long time i kept stringing psychiatrists along and eventually was unable to keep getting my prescription, and i was going through a string of moves so i was unable to get it off the street, so getting off it wasn't really a choice (i do have one dose left though, i hold onto it just to feel like i have the option to use it if i need). another medication, i still have a prescription for but the comedown was getting so brutal that i just couldn't handle it anymore, so i don't often get the urge to use it because i know what fresh hell is waiting for me on the other side. i did used to have a daily weed use habit, but as i got older i my allergy to it randomly got worse so i had to stop that too. drinking i still struggle with, i binge every single time, but tbh nowadays i'm too lazy to keep up on my stock so the problem is more under control. all this to say, i guess my advice is to try to make it as inconvenient as possible to use, for me that's a big deterrent. you could also try to allow yourself use but on a very strict schedule, like only on a certain day(s) or only x number of times a week. PLEASE remember to ask yourself H.A.L.T. (are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?), it helped me address some of the underlying causes of my use which helped me reduce it. i've heard people who swear up and down by AA or NA or groups like that. they have a big religion component and the men there can be scummy but having that support and a social group can make a world of difference, for me it was a general group therapy group. i do also think there's something that can happen to addicts where we can become addicted to being sad/suffering, like there's an edginess to it that makes you feel smarter and cooler and more honest than everyone else, like no one else Gets the Depth Of Being Human and they're all naive and etc. no one likes to talk about it but it's true, and acknowledging that i was in love with being at my lowest really called me out on my own shit. i'm keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the absolute best luck, it'll suck so hard but it's 1000% worth it <333 ily

oh my god thank you so much this actually already helps a lot! and yeah there is such an identity component to drug use many dont talk about… its true. i mean my therapist will help me to get in some sort of program so i really do have access to resources and shit and i think going to a clinic is not the issue but life after… i have tried going sober several times and always had some sort of yoyo effect basically. i also dont just struggle with substances but other addictions and lack of impulse control too. and ive tried doing it in moderation but it never works out longterm. the HALT tip is actually gold, thank you thank you thank you for sharing and your advice and your kind words it means a lot! 🩷

[lovemesomesurveys]

How are you doing today? It's only 5:20AM, but so far my nagging cough Is acting up which isn't fun.

What day of the week is it? It's Sunday.

What's something you used to believe in that you don't anymore? So much has changed within just the past 6 years, things I never saw coming or was prepared for and not in a good way. So many setbacks. There was a time I thought I'd actually do something with my life, but now… it's hard to see past all this.

What do you admire most in a person? Motivated, ambitious, driven type people.

What's your favorite dinosaur? I don't have one.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as? No.

What are 3 scents that you like? The ocean/beachy air, coffee, garlic.

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321? I've tried it a few times before.

What's the silliest thing you've gotten injured from? I know there's several incidents, but of course I can't think of any at the moment.

What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy? The first one I always think of is eggs and ranch. shrug

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence? Uhh. I have no idea.

Do you play any instruments? No.

What is an unpopular opinion you have? Sushi is disgusting.

Have you ever done a crazy dare? Nope.

What's your favorite type of cheese or cheese substitute? I loveee cheese. Various types.

What are things you still enjoy from your childhood? Some of the same music, shows, movies, foods… I really, really miss that time of my life.

What smells better.. fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee? Aw, both are lovely but I gotta stick with my pal coffee.

What's the oddest text you've received recently? I actually received some sexual spam texts a few weeks ago like wtf?

What's something you believe everyone should have? Of course ideally it'd be our necessities

What's the first thing you do once you get home from a trip? I'm the person who unpacks as soon as I get home.

What has been the worst kitchen mishap you've made? Starting a small oven fire.

Do you know how your parents met? Yeah, they were coworkers at the time.

Do you believe love is blind? It can be.

If you could get away with it, what crime would you commit? I don't want to commit any crimes.

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve? Nah.

Have you ever met a president? Nope.

What food tastes better than its appearance to you? Probably how mashed potatoes end up looking up on my plate cause I put so much gravy, so it ends up just looking like a glob of brown stuff lol.

Do you actively post on social media? Tumblr is the one I actively and consistently post on, both my personal and this one.

What was your favorite childhood book? I loved Nancy Drew, Goosebumps, The Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High, Judy Blume books, Beverly Clearly books…. how young are we talking? If younger, then books like Little Critter, Arthur, Barenstein Bears…

Do you ever experience intrusive thoughts? I think everyone does.

What do you consider to be the smartest animal? Apparently, Octopus are.

What movies make you laugh the most? Hmm. I don't know.

What's a product you use everyday that you wish you could get a lifetime supply of? Currently, there's several medical products I have to use and unfortunately my mom has to pay out of pocket for a lot of them and I feel bad because shit is expensive and quickly adds up.

What's the best name you've heard a pet named? shrug

What always makes your day better? It's been rough, ya'll…

Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion? I like having different things to choose from to do for hobbies, but having a passion is entirely different to me. I haven't felt passionate about anything in a long time. :/

Coffee or tea? Coffee. It still trips me out that I don't drink it everyday like I used to for so long.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones? No.

Would you say you're good at saving money? I can be, but man I'm such a sucker for Boxlunch and Hot Topic sales. They consistently have really good sales, plus they have their Lunch money/Hot Cash.

Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster? Yeah. The only roller coasters I do is the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and the Cars roller coasters at Disneyland.

Would you rather have free massages for a year or facials? Meh.

When was the last time you've had an adrenaline rush? I don't even remember.

Have you ever used a whole chapstick? Honestly… I don't think so.

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift? Yeah.

[angellesword]

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (06)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: mention of sexist behavior, (old men being trash) forced marriage.

SERIES: CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 7

Jungkook never imagined that he would be spending his Monday with a bunch of men he didn't like.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this..." Taemin smiled apologetically at Jungkook, but he didn't seem apologetic at all. It was as though your father planned all of this to happen.

Taemin didn't even ask Jungkook if he wanted to be a part of this. The head architect was actually surprised when right after he dropped you off to work this morning, he was escorted by Taemin's bodyguards to the parking lot, saying that your father needed to talk to him.

"No worries, as long as I'm still getting paid today. My hourly rate is not a joke, you know..."

Taemin laughed. This time his smile didn't seem fake, like he truly appreciated Jungkook's assurance.

"I can double your pay today. It's Monday after all."

Jungkook nodded because he was pleased. The double pay was just a bonus. The fact that he got to spend the day away from the construction site was already a breath of relief.

Mondays were the busiest time of the week for Jungkook. This was why he didn't understand why Taemin and some shareholders of Castle decided to play golf today.

They just mingled at the party last Saturday. Wasn't it enough? What more did they need to talk about?

"Architect Jeon! Come play with us!" When one of the shareholders called Jungkook's attention, he realized that the party was indeed not enough time to talk about business.

This was an extension of that party. Jungkook just wasn't sure why he was suddenly included. Was it because he got to talk to Mr. Wang last week? The latter was a prospective investor after all.

Maybe these men wanted to know what Jungkook thought about Mr. Wang. Admittedly, he was the only one who got to talk to the older man. Mr. Wang was hard to read. They were surprised that he spared the head architect some time.

Perhaps this wasn't about Mr. Wang at all. Maybe Taemin and the shareholders just wanted to know Jungkook's secret and charm.

"Be right there," Jungkook nodded at them before turning to look at Taemin.

"Let's join them?"

Your father nodded as well, standing up and grabbing his golf club.

Jungkook enjoyed golf. He was a decent player. He was told that this game somehow revealed the personality of a businessperson. He usually met with different clients so he figured that it's best if he could at least get an idea how people in this industry acted.

This was Jungkook's first time to play golf with Taemin and the shareholders though. He normally played this with his business clients.

"Congratulations again for closing that deal with Mrs. Lee, Architect Jeon..." Shareholder Kang said while scanning the course map.

"Ah," Jungkook momentarily stopped setting up his swing upon hearing that. He stood up straight, scratching the back of his head while smiling awkwardly at the older man.

"Thanks, but it won't be possible without Architect Soojin. It's her team's idea after all..."

Mr. Kang snickered, causing Jungkook to raise his brow.

"Why? Did I say something funny?"

"Not really." Mr. Yoo was the one who answered Jungkook's question. "But we feel like you are the sole reason why Mrs. Lee accepted the proposal."

The other shareholders hummed in agreement, smiling. Jungkook did not find this amusing though. In fact, Mr. Yoo's take only caused your best friend to raise his brow even higher.

"I don't understand. It is not my idea. I'm barely assisting Architect Kim and her team."

Jungkook's tone was edgy. He wanted these men to realize that their belief was bull. However they continued to justify that they were right and he was wrong.

"You're too humble for your own good, head architect." Mr. Song teased, knees slightly bended as he leaned forward at his hips.

"Ms. Kim Soojin's idea is..." He paused to look for the best way to describe the project.

"Unrealistic, unconvincing, shallow." Mr. Lim supplied.

Mr. Han laughed mockingly.

"In short, her idea is lame."

"Exactly. It's better to file for bankruptcy if all the architects in Castle are like that." Mr. Yoo playfully swung the gold club, waiting for his turn.

Shareholder Song was taking so long in hitting the ball.

"I mean, come on!" Mr. Kang groaned. "A luxury spa? Who wants that when there are saunas everywhere? Hell, I'm a millionaire but I'll choose a public bathhouse. It's cheaper."

Mr. Han shrugged off.

"Me too. I'm just glad you're part of the project, Architect Jeon. You can fix Ms. Kim's lapses."

Mr. Lim agreed.

"It's also a good thing that Mrs. Lee is stupid enough to agree with the proposal. Ah, women..." He shook his head. "They have big ass and tits but they lack this!"

The men cackled when Mr. Lim pointed at his brain, implying that women had small brains.

Jungkook was starting to think that the double pay wasn't worth it if it meant he had to spend time with these imbeciles. Would it even be enough to cover the medical expenses he would incur if he beat the shit out of them?

"That true! Have you seen Ms. Kim's ass? Taemin!" Mr. Song turned to look at Soojin's father.

"I just have to say this, man. Your daughter is so sexy, especially when she's wearing those tight skirts. Damn!" Mr. Song continued, twisting his shoulder to bring the club all the way up. "Tell her I'm willing to buy all skirts for her—"

Jungkook couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut your mouth." He barked at Mr. Song, but his eyes were focused on Taemin, wondering why he was quiet when his own daughter was being treated like shit.

Jungkook thought that his threat was taken seriously by them. They actually stopped laughing, some of them even cleared their throat like they regretted opening their mouth in the first place.

Mr. Song didn't say anything for a while either. He just swung his golf club, finally hitting the ball.

It went straight to the hole.

The men cheered, but Mr. Song wasn't smiling, just glaring daggers at Jungkook. The latter didn't feel intimidated at all.

If Soojin's father wouldn't do right by her, then Jungkook would. He couldn't just stand here and let this sexist piece of shit blabber.

"What?" Jungkook squared his jaw, inhaling. Mr. Song was standing too close to him, almost hitting his chest.

Mr. Song's jaw clenched. Jungkook readied himself to throw a punch, but he was surprised when the older man chuckled loudly.

"Good, good, little Jeon!" He patted Jungkook's shoulders, the smile on his lips was still apparent.

"You know how to defend your woman, huh?"

Jungkook parted his mouth to speak. He wanted to tell Mr. Song that Soojin wasn't his woman. She was her own person. He also wanted to say that he would defend any woman who was being harassed by someone like him.

He wasn't able to do it though. Mr. Song cut him off.

"See, this is the attitude of a true king." He patted Jungkook's shoulder again before turning to Soojin's father.

"Am I right, Taemin? Architect Jeon is fit to be the next chairman of Castle..."

"Yes." Taemin smiled tightly. The other men approved, saying that Jungkook had their votes when it was time to elect for the next chairman. Kim Taemin wasn't getting any younger. Sooner or later, he had to give up his position.

"Architect Jeon will surely be my successor."

"Sir." Jungkook said pointedly, flickering his irises at Taemin. What the fuck was he talking about? He was not the successor. It was Soojin.

"Oh, look at the time!" Taemin beamed, glancing at his Rolex and purposely ignoring his adopted son. "It's getting late, isn't it? Shall we have lunch together?"

"Ah, right." Mr. Lee caressed his stomach. "Diabetic men are not allowed to skip meals."

Lunch with Taemin and the shareholders was torture. Jungkook didn't know how many times he had to stop himself from punching these men.

Seriously. He couldn't count how many times they talked shit about women and people who weren't as wealthy as them.

They also complained about literally everything. Mr. Yoo smacked the head of one of the waiters for getting his order wrong.

"I said I want a well done steak! Not this garbage!" Mr. Yoo stabbed the medium well steak with a fork, causing the poor waiter to flinch.

"Ah. We should've eaten at home! You dogs should try my wife's steak. Hell, she's really perfect in my kitchen."

Jungkook wanted to say something, but Taemin subtly shook his head, silently telling the younger that it's not worth it.

But it is. Jungkook was dying to say. Keeping quiet implied that he was okay with this even when he was not.

"Let it go. We'll talk about it later." Taemin assured Jungkook when the latter looked like he was on the verge of walking away.

This was the longest hours of his life. He couldn't stand up, couldn't take a break from listening to them. These men took their time, just mocking people while drinking coffee and blowing cigarette smoke.

Jungkook stole a glance at his wrist watch. It was already 4:42pm. Shit. He was supposed to pick you up at five o'clock. Guess he should just rain check on that dinner date he promised you tonight, huh?

He was about to send you a text message when he realized that he left his phone inside his car, his car that was in the parking lot of Castle. Damn it.

Jungkook wished he could just head home and kiss you, however it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

"Where are we going?" He asked Taemin who took a left turn, direction away from the office.

The shareholders called it a day, saying they had to head home and sleep.

"You'll see," Taemin didn't reveal much, causing Jungkook to get more annoyed.

"No. Tell me." He was having none of it. Jungkook was exhausted. He didn't understand why Taemin had to drive and send his bodyguards home.

The older man didn't like talking when he was driving, saying he had to 'focus," because safety was their first priority.

Jungkook was pretty sure this was only an excuse. Perhaps Taemin didn't know how to explain his behavior when he was with the shareholders. He probably knew that he sucked for not defending Soojin and for lying about Jungkook being his successor.

"I'll tell you when we get there."

For the nth time, Jungkook wasn't able to do anything. He gave up. There was no point in arguing with Taemin because he would only be met with silence or dismissal.

Fortunately Jungkook and Taemin arrived at their destination before the former lost his patience.

The drive wasn't long, distance-wise, but the traffic jam in Seoul was getting worse.

"We're here." Taemin announced, stopping the car right in front of the columbarium where the urn of Jungkook's father was stored.

Jungkook's creased his forehead

"Why are we here?"

"I miss him." Taemin simply shrugged, getting out of the car and heading straight to the building.

Jungkook followed him. He visited his father as often as he could. He was sure the flowers he brought not more than a week ago hadn't wilted yet. Still, he felt bad that he came here today empty handed.

Taemin brought a flower though. It was a piece of orange geiger that he probably plucked at the golf course.

The flora was already crushed because Taemin kept it in the pocket of his slacks. It didn't stop him from putting it right beside Jong-in's urn.

"He hates the color orange." Jungkook reminded, snorting as he stared at the polaroid film placed against the urn.

It was a picture of him and Jong-in when he won first place in Taekwondo. He was only ten years old that time. You were the one who took the photograph, supporting him all the way.

"He hates cowards too." Jungkook added.

"I know, me too..." Taemin was also staring at the photograph. "That's why I hate myself."

Jungkook balled his hand into a fist.

"Then why be one?" He almost snarled at your father. "Why did you let those men say those...stupid things to Soojin? Why let them get away with it?"

Jungkook was fuming. The frustration he felt was too much that he couldn't hide it anymore. Tears brimmed his eyes.

It pained him to hear them talk about Soojin like that. He didn't love her in a romantic way, but she was his family. He treated Soojin like his little sister.

"Your father..." Taemin spoke after a short while. He still couldn't face Jungkook.

"Your father loved Castle. He poured his time and energy in the company. I am aware that you know this too. You sometimes joked about it, right? You asked him if he loved Castle more than he loved you..." Taemin smiled.

Jungkook couldn't help it. He giggled as well. Yeah. Those were the good old days. Jungkook could never forget the face his father would make whenever he asked that question.

"When he was still alive, he would always say that he wants me to take good care of you and the company if ever something happens to him."

Jungkook's smile immediately turned into a scowl. It had been many years since his father passed away, yet this was still a sore topic for him.

"That's what I'm doing right now, Jungkook-ah. Those filthy men are the lifeblood of our company. We have to be careful around them."

Jungkook shook his head.

"Does that mean we have to keep silent even if what they're doing is wrong?"

"Yes." Taemin didn't even bat an eyelash. Those men had big shares in the company, they were part of the board of directors too.

"Business is a game. You can't win if you don't have resources. Better build an army rather than collecting enemies."

"What's the point of building an army if they can't respect you?" Jungkook scoffed.

"People will only respect you if you don't go against them. You will never be respected if you don't have power." Taemin retorted. "So stay in power, Architect Jeon. That's when you'll be able to really control people."

Jungkook attempted to ponder about what Taemin told him. The older man was his mentor for years. Admittedly, he had learned a lot from Taemin. What happened today was probably the only lesson he didn't like and understand.

"Can you drop me off at the office, uncle? I left my car there..." Jungkook blurted out, heart beating fast upon realizing that he hadn't called you all day.

It was already 6:22pm. Did you wait for him? Did you call him? Were you mad? God. You're probably pissed at him.

"I'll ask my secretary to take care of it. We need to go home. Family dinner. Everyone's waiting for us."

"Everyone?" Jungkook hiccupped. Did it mean that you would be there too?

"Yes. My children and my wife. All of us."

Jungkook simply nodded, choosing to conserve his energy because he knew he still needed to apologize to you. Maybe this would also be the perfect opportunity to finally tell Soojin what he felt for her.

They arrived at the mansion at exactly seven pm. The house was usually quiet, but tonight was different.

Everyone seemed to be in a hurry, causing Jungkook to think if he had missed something. Was today someone's birthday?

"Are we celebrating something?" This was what Jungkook said the moment he took a step inside the dining area.

There was a feast.

Taemin was right. Every member of the family was present. Jungkook's eyes shifted to you, like it was natural for him to find you whenever, wherever.

You were not looking at him though. Your eyes were trained on your empty plate.

"Are you kidding me, Jungkook? It's your engagement—" Taehyung who was seated on your right, tried to speak, however he was cut off by Sin-ae.

"You two are right on time! Come! Sit!" Sin-ae grinned nervously, helping to remove her husband's coat.

Soojin tried to do the same with Jungkook.

"I got it..." Jungkook stopped Soojin from latching on his arm, his eyes were still focused on you.

He wanted to ask if you were alright. You seemed down and you hadn't spared him a single glance.

"Sit beside me, JK," Soojin still managed to hold onto his biceps, pulling him to sit right across from you.

"What are we celebrating again?" Jungkook was talking to Taehyung but his gaze was still on you.

Your youngest brother turned to Jungkook, a playful smirk was plastered on his lips. He looked amused.

"Why don't you ask my lovely sister Soojin?" Taehyung was munching a piece of pickled radish. "Or my mom? I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you since it looks like you don't have any idea what's happening..."

"Let's just enjoy our food first, shall we, huh, Kim Taehyung?" Sin-ae gritted her teeth, giving her youngest son a pointed look.

Jungkook shrugged. He wasn't that interested anyway. He only went here because you were here. He wanted to apologize to you.

It was clear to him now that you were pissed. You liked shrimps, but hated peeling them so he did it for you. Using his chopsticks, he picked up the two shrimps and transferred it to your plate.

Instead of thanking him or smiling at him, you just pushed the seafood to the corner of your plate, like you didn't want to eat them.

"You're awfully sweet to her, aren't you, JK?" Namjoon who was sitting on your left, voiced out, noticing how Jungkook treated you.

Your flinched, heart skipping a beat.

"You just gave her shrimps." Namjoon said again when Jungkook just creased his forehead.

"Ah. She likes shrimps." He shrugged, failing to notice that the act was a big deal. He had done this many times already. Jungkook always peeled shrimps for you ever since you two were kids.

"Careful there. Soojin might get jealous."

"Why would you get jealous?" Jungkook asked your sister directly. "We're not dating."

Seokjin and Taehyung choked. Namjoon dropped his fork. Sin-ae was flustered while both Soojin and his father sighed: the former in exasperation while the latter did it in exhaustion.

You remained silent despite the fact that everyone seemed surprised because of what Jungkook said.

"What?" The head architect raised a brow, confused. "You're all acting weird."

Except you, but Jungkook already knew you were damn good at hiding your emotions.

No one was aware that you were shocked and confused too. Why was Jungkook acting like he had no idea what was happening?

Could it be because....it's the truth? Was he really clueless?

Your assumption was confirmed when Taemin awkwardly cleared his throat, shifting his attention to your best friend.

"Remember when I told you earlier that you're going to be my successor?"

Jungkook raised his head slightly.

"Well...it's the truth. You're going to be the chairman of Castle after marrying my daughter—" Taemin gulped. "—Soojin."

"No." Jungkook stated, so fast he didn't even blink.

"Jungkook—"

"I said no." Jungkook's voice was full of authority, his eyes were dark, jaw and fist clenching.

"But we have already announced it publicly." Sin-ae mumbled. She didn't realize that Jungkook would react this way. He was always so kind, sweet, and level headed.

He was different tonight. Truthfully, he looked terrifying as he glowered at Taemin.

"I get it now," Jungkook cackled, wetting his lower lip. "Meeting with the shareholders and bringing me to the columbarium? These were all part of your plan."

Huh. He was so stupid to fall for your father's trap. Taemin didn't give two shits about his 'promise' to Jong-in. He was only doing all of this for his own interest.

"You need me to marry Soojin because it's what the shareholders want, right?"

Taemin didn't deny Jungkook's accusation.

"They will withdraw their shares in the company if Soojin becomes the chairperson. They want a man to be in power, Jeon."

"Then let them go. It's their loss."

"You know very well that it's not. Our empire will fall without them."

"Then let the empire fall." Jungkook threw the napkin on his plate. He was done. He lost his appetite. "I don't care. I'm not marrying Soojin."

He said it with finality that Soojin couldn't help but gasp.

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook!" Her fist landed on top of the table. "Does the idea of marrying me so bad that you're willing to let our company fall, huh?"

"Yes." Jungkook didn't hesitate. "It's bad because I don't love you like that, Soojin. I can't love you the way you want me to."

"Nobody said you two need to love each other." Seokjin took part in the conversation. He only said this because he and his wife didn't marry for love. It was for business too.

"Then why get married? I don't believe in marriage for convenience. I will only do it for love." Jungkook switched his gaze at you the moment he said the word 'love'

He was surprised to see you already staring at him. You looked away when he caught you though.

"So sappy, JK." Taehyung teased. "Why? Do you love someone else?"

"I do." Jungkook was very honest and it was starting to annoy you. You wondered if he ever processed his thoughts first. It looked like he just kept saying things that entered his mind.

"Who is she?" Soojin demanded. She wanted to scream.

Jungkook looked like he was about to say something without thinking again, but before he could do that, you interfered.

"Oh no!" Your eyes dilated, elbowing the glass of champagne and letting the sticky drink stained your dress.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Sin-ae rolled her eyes, snapping at you. "You're so clumsy! You're ruining our night!"

"Eomma..." Taehyung warned. He was about to grab a napkin so he could hand it to you, but Jungkook was already on his feet, going near you.

"Are you okay?" He leaned closer to you, dabbing the napkin onto your dress.

You took advantage of his close proximity.

"Don't say anything about us. Please." You whispered and then you slightly pushed him away.

"I'm okay. Thanks, Jungkook." You stood up quickly, almost stumbling in doing so. Fortunately your best friend managed to grab your wrist.

"Careful..." He said softly, hands grabbing your waist.

You pushed him away again, trembling.

"I-I'll just change." You didn't wait for their approval.

You just left with your heart still beating fast.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

CHOOSE

Alexander “Tig” Trager x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: First part of Choose. I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“So, what about (Y/N) and you?” Bobby asks sipping from his beer.

“What about what?”

“Ar'ya alrede' ‘official’”? Chibs adds while Jax, Juice and Happy leans above the table with a naughty smile drawn on their lips, palming the picnic table and making some noise.

“She's just a groupie, man”.

You can't hear Tig chuckling, because of the sound your heart does by breaking itself is louder.

“A groupie?” Jax's voice sounds confused, raising a blonde eyebrow as the palms stops.

“Yeah, you know. She's not one of those bitches that come here to eat us. But she's not my girl either. We just have fun”.

“You just have fun?” Juice asks incredulous, shaking his head just for a moment.

“Yeah, man! I must say I have eaten a lot of pussies, but, shit! Hers is a fucking delight. And she doesn' have any contagious disease, that's an important plus too”.

“If she was my mom, I would pull out your eyes”. The scratchy voice of Happy appears from nowhere, somewhat disappointed. “And I would eat them”.

“What the fuck?”

“Brother, that girl really lose her shit for you”. Bobby says, because it's something pretty obvious. “And you can say whatever you wan', but you're strained to the bone for that sassy girl”.

Tig's laughs flood the main yard, before drinking his beer.

“Man, you call her when we're ridin'. And her house it's the first stop when you come back”. Juice assures placing his forearms over the table.

“Yea', and you also have clothes in her house, and she in yours”. Jax hit the wood with his knuckles, watching the look on his face trying to hide how right they are.

“Oh! And remember that time (Y/N) told us that Tig brought breakfast at bed”. Ratboy palms Happy chest breaking into laughter, joying the talk, sitting by his side.

“We didn't even know you cook, brother”.

“C'mon, shut up!”

“And tha time ya brought ha' flowers”. Chibs points at Tig with pursed lips joking on him.

“Yeah, that was pretty romantic”. Jax continues with the jokes, making him feel angrier.

“I said she's just a fuckin' groupie. We fuck when I want. That's all”. Trager finishes the conversation, upset of their brothers teasing him about you.

Sitting on the sofa under the closest open window to them, you rest an empty beer on your lap. With your eyes on it and an incessant pain growing in your chest, lash after lash, you don't even know who the fuck are you. Then, the last year has been a lie. All those times he said he loved you, they were a lie. All those times he said he missed you, they were a lie. All those times he said you he didn't want a life without you, they were a lie. Like many others. Yes, he never asked you to be his girlfriend, but you didn't know he had to do it to make it ‘official’. You thought it was implicit in the fact that you really look like a couple. Not like Tara and Jax, but somewhat like. And it's confusing look back and seeing all the shit he did for you and all the shit you did for him, only to hear that your a clean pussy to put his cock in whenever he needs it. No feelings. No compromise. No nothing. Just sex.

You take off the black high-heels, holding them by the strips, leaving away the beer. Getting up and putting on well the dress you bought for him, feeling stupid on one of these garments, you walk barefoot towards the exit door at the end of the hallway' dorms. Your car is parked there. Safe from the Sons' of other subsidiaries and their non expected fights just for fun. The only thing you want to do is drive your way back home and hide in your bed of the shame you're feeling, after listening him talking like that about you with his friends.

“Brother, listen”. Jax sits on the nearest stool at the bar. “I lost Tara for fourteen years, don' commit my mistake”.

Tig has another shot, ripping his throat as he cleans his mouth with the back of the left hand.

“I was fuckin' scared of seeing that I was in love with her. We do all this shit that has our families in a continuous danger, but I don' regret about what I feel for my wife”. He defends the point of view he's trying to make him understand. “She's a good girl and you look focused since you met. Think about it”.

The other man doesn't say anything with the blue eyes placed on some bottles in front of him.

“You ok?” Tara's voice pushes you to reality.

You shake your head somewhat confused, raising your gaze towards her.

“I've been standing there for the last five minutes, without you noticing it”. She chuckles, closing the door behind her back to have a sit at the desk, having a quick look of the medical records on it. “Too much work?”

“I wish… It's been a quiet day and I need to distract myself”.

“It's everything okay? Didn' Tig like the dress?”

By the look on your face, putting away your eyes, Tara knows something isn't going well. You leave a heavy sigh, closing your eyes just to contain a wild tear.

“I'm just a… pussy for him”.

“What the hell…? Don't tell that, (Y/N). Maybe he's not the most romantic man on earth, but he loves you”.

“Yes, that what I thought”. Laughing somewhat bittersweet, you put your arms above the table. “Last night I heard him talking with the guys. Telling them I'm just a groupie to fuck when he needs it”.

The woman snorts resting her back on the chair, rubbing her eyes with both hands.

“The only difference between those... bitches he used to fuck and me, it's that I don't have HIV”.

“Maybe he was dru—”.

“I never heard Jax talk about you, as Tig talked about me, when he's drunk”. You reiterate shrugging your shoulders. “He just… told me all that bullshit about love and a family and a future to suck his cock. And I was so fuckin' stupid that I believed him…”

“I'm sorry, sweetheart”.

“Yeah, I'm too”. You answer getting up and taking off the medical gown to hang it on the coat rack. “I'm done with my meetings. Could you tell Marcia I wasn't feeling okay and I went home?”

“Yes, sure. Don't worry about it”.

All his stuff is already on a plastic bag. His clothes, his motorbike' things for when he travels… Everything. It was painful collect them all, with his smell flooding your room while you were keeping them. Placing it over the table in the kitchen, you sit there just waiting for him to come. You didn't call him, but even if he lied to you, you know something about him. So, when he didn't find you last night, he probably went first to the hospital by morning. And proving that you're right, the roar of his engine comes closer as he reaches your house. Crossing the back door in front of you, he takes off the helmet putting inside it the leather gloves and the sunglasses.

“Your boss told me you weren' feeling ok, what's up?” He asks truly worried, or at least seems like. Leaning forward he tries to kiss you, but you pull away your face without any words.

Now he's confused as fuck, getting up finding the bag on the table. Opening it with his forefinger to have a quick look twisting the neck just for a second, the blue eyes go straight you.

“What's that?”

“Your things. I want you to leave”.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” He demands making some gesture with both hands, as you get up of the chair.

“I'm not the one who lied every time I said ‘I love you’!” You push him away when he tries to take a step next to you, with all the pain concentrated on it.

“The fuck does it means? I didn' fuckin' lie to you”.

“Yeah, that's what you tell me in the meantime you tell your friends I'm just a clean pussy!”

“Who told you about that…?” He snorts cross-armed, supporting his waist against the counter.

“Nobody! I fuckin' hear you, Trager!” You scream totally mad, throwing him the plastic bag. “I just… fuckin' thought that someday you really would want to have a family... Shit, I'm so fucking stupid I feel so sorry for myself…”

“Sunshine, list—”.

“Go fuck yourself!” You push him away again, as he tries to grab your wrists, stirring under his grip. “You're a fucking dickhead!”

“Calm fuckin' down and listen!” He shouts at you for first time since you know him. Your heart stop, as your body does. Not because you're afraid, but because it's enough for you.

“I don' wanna see you anymore… Leave me alone”. You almost beg to him, shutting up some sobs stuck in your throat and your gaze away from the man.

He just nods in silence knowing that you are not going to come to your senses right now. So he grabs his things with anger, before throwing your house's keys on the table. Only when he disappear from the kitchen is when you break in tears. You had too much contained in your heart and you can't help but cry louder than never. Sometimes you have had fantasies about living together, having some free days and getting lost on the road, with nobody close to bother you. Sometimes you also have had fantasize of a kid running through your house calling him “daddy”. But it was just that. A year full of lies and a bunch of fantasies.

“What's that?” Bobby asks behinds the bar lifting up an eyebrow.

Tig throws the bag to the nearest wall, furious with himself and the way he has fucked up. His heart is beating fast, having a sit on a stool and grabbing a bottle of whisky to drink from it. There's no music in the clubhouse, just silence, so his guilty becomes louder of what he said. All those words dancing around him once and again.

“Clothes?” Juice asks taking the bag to open it confused.

“(Y/N) heard me last night”. He answers with his eyes getting reddened, trying to hold in the tears.

“I would have rip off your chest with a knife wetted on vinegar and salt”. Happy says without losing sight of the tip of the pool stick. After hit the white one, he raises his eyes towards him. “Later I would have pissed on you. Be thankful she kept your things in a bag”.

Jax looks at the ex-nomad not knowing why he's surprised about his threats. Walking close to Tig, with both hands inside the pockets, he supports a forearm against the bar.

“Now, what?” The president asks, lifting his chin in a simple gesture.

“Now nothing. I already lost her for being a fuckin' asshole. That's all”.

“Yeah, brotha, ya said fuckin' mean thengs bout ha'”. Chibs palms his back a little bit harder, making him spit the whisky in his mouth.

“Even if we were jokin'... Fuck man…” Jax shakes his head sighing, having a quick look of the Sons' faces. “Wan'me to talk with her?”

“No. I will… try to fix it”. He coughs by clearing his throat after the hit, having another sip.

“One year enduring your bullshit…” Bobby clicks his tongue, leaning above the bar. “I thinks it's fuckin' obvious what you should do, Tiggy”.

“Yes”. Juice, Chibs and Jax said in unison.

“That's the only way to fix it. And if you don' think so, then leave her alone”. In moments like that, Tig sees how much Jax looks like his father, with all those advices and wise words. “She's not a warm pussy, she's a woman who didn' care you're mentally fucked and who didn' care about what you do with the club”.

“I know…”

“Then, choose”. Palming the wooden bar, Jax finishes the conversation as if it was a table-business to Samcro.

[boncorner]

HUMAN HERMES ADHD HEADCANONS

TYPE :

Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD

DIAGNOSIS :

Has been diagnosed since early age, for all his father's flaws, he could tell this was one hyperactive child.

MEDICATION :

Has tried many different medications but decided on methylphenidate in the end, since the immediate effect worked best for his lifestyle.

THERAPY :

Has received therapy throughout his life and still sees a psychologist who specialises in the condition every now and then, but he often cancels on them since he feels like he's got no need for it anymore.

FIXATIONS :

Has more past interests than Aphrodite had lovers. Here's a list of things he's fallen in love with at some point then just kinda continued on enjoying but never really mastered because he found something new :

Biking | Gymnastics | Swimming | Dirt-Biking | Skateboarding | Rollerskating | Parkour | Streetdancing | Breakdancing | Cars | Motorcycles | Comics (specifically comic strips) | Quick live sketching

And a short list of things he never gets tired of ever because they're his eternal fixations :

Running | Animal care | Horseback Riding | Astrology | Gambling (more on that later)

STIMMING :

√ Body

Can't sit still, always on the go, drumming his fingers or hands against a surface or humming to a tune that isn't playing anywhere. He'll also occasionally make his own sound effects, like shwoop, clang, bang, pa-chah!

Mainly stims using his feet; tapping, kicking, switching weight from one foot to the other, jumping, rocking back and forth. He'll also play with his piercings, like the smiley right below his lip, or softly spinning his nose piercing while he's thinking.

√ Jewellery

Has jewellery that's subtly designed to work as stim-toys, like dangling earrings or chains with parts which you can spin or flick. At first he thought it a little overkill, but it really does help him focus on what he's doing when he's making a trade or studying somebody's pokerface.

√ Wings

If your human Hermes has wings a la reincarnation or some other fun flavour, he could also ruffle the feathers or stretch them subconsciously every now and again.

PROCESSING :

√ Thoughts

His mind runs faster than most people's do, and he can get frustrated when others aren't understanding what he's talking about, when he's really jumped ahead of the conversation by like 4 steps and the other doesn't even know what happened at step 2 or 3, or what topic they're on. It can almost feel like time travelling sometimes! Where most of what actually happened is still stuck in Hermes' head, and you just can't get him to share it because how do you not Know This already??

He's also prone to getting distracted mid-conversation and interrupt you with his own thoughts on something, or to throw something in that he Just thought about, which will later feed his RSD (see later)

√ Speech

If you speak too slowly or don't get to the point fast enough, you also risk causing him understimulation fatigue, and he'll get antsy and restless, or even bored and tired. More often than not he'll end up losing track of your conversation, start thinking about his own thing, then realise you're still talking and he has no idea what you're talking About and Oh No time to Bullshit his way outta this one!

That, or he's already started talking about something completely different out of nowhere like how water isn't actually wet or something.

The risk of speaking to him also of course comes with the risk of his brain just deciding to Not Process That Right Now, and he might have to act like he totally knew what you were saying but really it all sounded like complete gibberish.

Also sort of on the topic but needless to mention he speaks very quickly and will sometimes almost run the conversation all on his own, and occasionally stumbles on his words and has to let out a little Bluh while sticking out his tongue til he finds his words again.

✓ Sound

He's pretty good with sound and loves a good beat, and turning up the volume way high, but low repetitive noises are his enemy, and they will completely throw off his focus when he's trying to do something. The sound of a dog barking a bit away over and over every 3 minutes is driving him mad, and the soft ticking of a clock is throwing off his thoughts something insane. Talking in another room might make him unable to think clearly, and writing and listening at the same time is just Not happening.

√ Touch

He comes across as really inviting and friendly, but he doesn't like being touched unless it's on his conditions and his conditions alone. He can initiate hugs, but if you suddenly go for him without him being totally for it, he might panic like a bird being grabbed by a big hand. Just like with a bird, you need to show him what you're about to do next. He may seem hasty and wild, but he's really more delicate and alert.

Worth mentioning is also clothes, he loves loose fitting yet stylish outfits, and you can notice him fidget and twist when he's wearing things just a little too stiff or fancy.

√ Sight + Smells

He's fine with most lights and smells, save if he's overstimulated of course.

ADDICTION (TW: Drugs)

Addiction is a Problem when you have ADHD, especially when it turns out to be a way to self-medicate if you don't have the means to do so yourself. While he does have these means, he's slipped into gambling (slot machines, dice and cards are his favourites), mild drug use (pills mostly), smoking (with the help of Charon), as well as those damn energy drinks...

Auctions are also dangerous cough... And buying things you don't actually need. But the worst one is the rush of stealing. When he's feeling down or stresses about money, taking something valuable makes him feel more in control, giving him a rush and a spur of confidence. You'll sometimes find outfits in his wardrobe that just don't match his bank account...

RSD [Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria]

He may seem cool and aloof, but he overthinks everything you say about him. His family says he talks too much? Now he'll ask you if he should shut up, apologise for going on tangents, and stop himself in the middle of talking about something he loves because he caught himself talking "too much". You tell him one thing in the wrong tone of voice, and he'll laugh it off, then go home and spiral into the dark abyss of "I guess I'm an annoying piece of shit and they actually hate me haha". It also works against him that his impulsivity makes him blurt out things that he ends up regretting down the line.

[dr-mizmix]

My sunshine(part 1/?)

Many people have already written about this but I couldn't help it. This fic follows the headcanon in which Five kills Dave.

TRIGGER WARINGS

warzone/mental breakdown

Word count: 1500+

13+

Enjoy!

“It's just another name, it's just another mission” Five never thought about who he had to eliminate. It wasn't worth the time thinking about their lives and getting involved in an emotional level. That would be irrational and compromise the mission. It didn't matter if they were innocent, guilty, men, women or children Five just wanted to get the job done so he could move forward to the next one until the day he finished his equations or his contract whatever came first.

“Eliminate Dave Katz at all costs”

As soon as Five read the name, it made him wonder “Huh, this is weird. I wonder what this soldier soldier must have done for the temp comision to send me instead of letting him die at warzone.” He then looked to Dolores who remained motionless “............” Five then tried to act unbiased “You are right Dolores, that's none of ours business," he read again the name and location “we should get going.”

After that he packed for his unusual destination, even for a time traveling hitman like himself 1968 Vietnam.

While Five was onto his grim mission Dave Katz, his future victim, was having a great time with another time traveler who happened to be a Hargreeves too, but whose plans of what to do with him couldn't be more different.  

At the disco Klaus was killing it the dance floor when discretely he winks Dave who has been watching him from the distance. He takes this gesture as a signal and starts to slowly approach him while dancing “Haha, you have some nice moves” Klaus decided to cautiously flirt with him trying to see where he could go “Really? I could teach you some of them if you wanna” Dave followed Klaus’ game “Oh, and how much would it be for the lessons?” he wished this was 2019 and not 1968 “Well, I would usually charge a lot to know the secrets of my moves.” Dave kept getting closer to him “Oh really?” he said with a playful smile “Yeah but because you are obviously desperate I'll make you a deal. I will lower my price to just one shot of whatever it is your favorite drink.” he knew that if he said to anyone else he could get in trouble. But not to Dave “Then it's settled. Bartender two shots of whiskey please! My treat.” After that they danced together all evening with the excuse of teaching each other dance moves.

“Klaus” Dave called him in a really low tone but he caught his attention “Follow me” They went together to a secluded area. “Are we allowed to be here?” Klaus tried being cautious but Dave made his thoughts disappear in less than a second “What, what are we?” Klaus didn't know how to answer. “I don't know, what am I to you?” Dave thought for a moment “I feel like I can trust you with my life, I would say that you are my friend but that would be lying to myself” Klaus closed his eyes “Keep going” Dave closed his eyes too “You are the most kind,wonderful, brave and handsome person that I've ever met” Dave felt like his heart was about to to leave his body, when Klaus wrapped his arms around him “You are very wrong, because you are the most handsome, strong, brave and vulnerable person I've ever met and you clearly know yourself” Dave got as close as he could to Klaus and when their lips were almost touching he whispered “May I?” to which Klaus responded “Yes you can” They shared a long kiss, when they separated Dave was incredibly blushed “Did I do it wrong?” Klaus giggled and started playing with Dave's hair “No! Why would you say that” Dave looked kind of embarrassed “I'm kind of new to this thing” Klaus then gently grabbed his face “Don't worry, we can do whatever you want” Dave hugged him and a slow song started playing “I've, I've never danced to anything like this before” Klaus smiled and placed their hands on the position for a slow dance. “Hey remember I told you I'd teach you how to dance” Dave shaked his head smiling and they continued dancing through the whole night.

Several months have passed since the night Dave and Klaus shared their first kiss. Since then they've been secretly dating. So far no one noticed anything more than them being really good friends. That or they prefer to ignore it. They even got themselves some matching tattoos which Dave chose. In their way to the front, at the bus, Dave seemed distant “Today it's going to be tough” Klaus puts his arm around him “You always say that, and look at us! We only get so emotionally scarred for life!” He tried to joke around it to see if Dave would relax a bit “Right, right” Klaus started to get worried “Are you ok?" “Well It's just that I heard that my squad is going for the front line this time and I I…”Dave couldn't continue. There was a pause “Is that all?Then I will be going with you”Dave shaked his head with a sad smile “Come on Klaus you know that we can't do that. We are in different squads” Klaus though for a moment “Well then tell someone from your squad that today is their lucky day because I'm not letting you go alone.” Dave laughed “You are going to make some lucky bastard very happy”

Five loaded his trusty rifle and waited for the perfect moment when nobody would notice him. It was weird to witness all those people dying in front of him but Five had to constantly remind himself that it was none of his business. Chaos arises in the trenches and Five decided to shoot his target, knowing help wouldn't come. He activated the trigger and the job was done. A man starts screaming with a somewhat familiar voice. Five feelt startled by it and decided to take a closer look. “Something feels wrong”

Meanwhile the in the trenches Klaus was screaming for help “Medic! Medic!” He held Dave in his arms “You're going to ok Dave, you'll get through this” Dave placed his hands behind Klaus head “I'll be ok Klaus I know I'll be” Klaus cried even harder “Stay with me Dave please, I'll take you with me” Dave closed his eyes “Sing for me” Klaus couldn't think of any song until words started flowing almost automatically from his mouth “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” Dave grabbed his hand “You make me happy when skies are gray…” Klaus tightened his grip “You'll never know dear how much I love you…” Dave's hand relaxed a bit “Please don't take” Dave opened his eyes “my sunshine” they both smiled “I love you” Dave lost all his grip “Away… ” Klaus looked at Dave, he didn't move “Dave? Dave! Medic! Goddammit I need a need a goddamm medic!”. As he realized that help wouldn't arrive, he looked Dave's lifeless body and laid on it crying. “He's dead. He's dead” his mumbling kept going until it became unintelligible.

Dolores in his back as always stayed silent. “Is just the screaming, he shouldn't have found him so fast. We are in the middle of warzone.” He made a pause to get Dolores perspective. “It's just” he squinted his eyes in an attempt to see the man's forearm, Five sighed as he saw the man wore long sleeves and looked back at Dolores “You are right Dolores, I have no family anymore” He closed his eyes trying to forget the familiar pitch. “What would they be doing here anyway?”He picked up his stuff and left as he never had been there. He was now awaiting for his next assignment.

“Eliminate President Kennedy at all costs”

When Five found himself asking “is it worth it? Is it worth killing l so many people to go back knowing that the future is doomed?” He remembered Vanya and the rest of his siblings and found a reason to keep living.

But this was not the moment to think about his siblings, this was a moment of action.

As Five used his briefcase for the last time he thought of his siblings, and while it was kind of hard to admit, he started questioning if they would accept him. They only knew him for 13 years and he is now 58. What is he going to tell them? He'd been alone for 40 years and now the feeling of being able to come back to his family terrifies him. But it didn't matter now, the apocalypse doesn't wait for anybody.

He arrived at his destination, there he started apply his equations to time travel back his family. He'll show Dolores she's wrong. He knew his arrival would probably cause a huge anomaly so he expected his family waiting for him. What he didn't expect was that one screaming man from his last mission in Vietnam. The first face he saw “Klaus” It suddenly became clear. He got distracted over that fact. So much so that his body started morphing into his 13 years old self.He finally went through it.

“Shit”

I will continue this fic in the near future so stay tuned!

[rogue-bard]

(1/2) My grandma has five birds (two Cockatoos, three African Greys). She keeps them in their cages 24/7 in the sunroom by the kitchen. I don't know how fragile bird respiratory systems are, but feathers/dust/ammonia are everywhere in there and I'm sure it's not good. Their water hardly gets changed- when it does it's gotten to the point of being brown with food/newspaper/feathers in it. They eat food that is really bad for them (high in sugar and probably sodium).

(2/2) The toys only get replaced when they’re years old and worn down to the point of being pieces. The birds never get attention, they’re never out of their cages, and they don’t have any stimulation except for the TV (what?). I don’t know how to help them because my grandparents and my siblings/I aren’t on good terms at the moment.

Golly, this turned out to be a looooong answer, so let me but a read-more here…

Now, you probably know this first bit, since you’re writing this ask in the first place, but just for the sake of being a bit more thorough, in case any uninformed bird-owner reads this and maybe has an epiphany:

(Let me just note that all sources I link here are pages that I just quickly googled, so I can’t judge their professionalism. However, the issues that I sourced with these links, are issues I know about from my avian vet and that can easily be found on the internet thousands of times. So I assume they’re somewhat current when it comes to our state of avian medic knowledge.)

Birds’ respiratory systems are not the sturdiest, as far as I know. Ammonia is definitely bad for them, and being kept near the kitchen isn’t great, either, as stuff like teflon being heated can be deadly to them.

The thing about the feathers and the dust, is that they are very bad for humans (but you’re right that too much isn’t good for birds, either!), as a family member of mine had to experience, and has to experience for the rest of her life.So maybe if your grandmother doesn’t have too much concern for the birds, as I sadly often find in older generations, maybe that will give her cause to think about the situation.

I obviously don’t have to tell you that the water situation is horrible, but it’s also less than ideal that these birds have access to newspaper (I assume as flooring of the cage). Now, I don’t know where you’re from and what the newspapers there are printed with, so the print might be toxic in high doses. However, google is telling me, that this shouldn’t be a problem anymore nowadays, and the last time I heard about that was during my childhood when my grandfather was breeding budgies, so that might be completely outdated.On the other hand, birds like to have litter (idk if that’s the right english word… bed? bedding?) to play in, and it has the additional benefit of soaking up fluids like spilled bathing water and poop, so that is more hygenic for both the birds and your grandmother’s lung.However, I’m not tooooo sure about this, since I can’t find any sources on the internet right now and this page even claims that paper is the better choice in these regards. I’m far from an expert, I just go by what my vet told me, which is the “litter”-kind of bedding (chipped wood for birds).

As for food - yeah. That’s not good either.

Being always kept in a cage isn’t… always… bad… and I hesitated a lot to write this. I think in my whole life I’ve seen two or three aviaries that are big enough for birds to exclusively live in. That cage would have to be huge, especially for so many birds.For african greys, apparently, that is more than 60x90x120 cm if these sources can be believed. Note that these pages do not say if that’s for one bird or a pair. I’ve never had african greys, so I don’t know if that size doesn’t almost double if you keep two of them (which, I assume since it goes for most birds, is a requirement because they are social animals).For cockatoos, I found the same size-requirements on the internet, right now. It bugs me a bit, because it seems pretty tiny for such huge birds. I own parrotlets and that’s pretty much their requirements. And they’re tiny tiny birds. But again: I’m not an expert.

And lastly, the toy and stimulation situation. At least they’re together, that’s a plus. But of course, having nothing to do and sitting in a cage all day, would make anyone depressed and develop bad behavioural patterns. I’ve seen an african grey go completely apathetic, I’ve seen one non-stop-spinning around it’s own axis for days, I’ve seen a lot of shit. It can get really bad.That isn’t to say that if a bird doesn’t exhibit these problem, it’s fine. I’m just saying, that’s how bad it can get. (What I’m trying to say is, just because hitting a child regularly is not as bad as beating it dead, a child that is being hit daily is far from fine.)There’s a lot of blogs about building foraging toys yourself, there’s a lot of places where you can buy them, and there’s a lot of guides on how to train a parrot, like you would train dogs, to give them something to do and exercise their brain and motorabilities. And as a plus, you have a bird that doesn’t do annoying behaviour (like land on posters *I’m not looking at you, Mealey, but I’m looking at you), and can do cool tricks! It’s a win-win!

Okay, tl,dr… now what you were actually asking. (Sorry, I’m like my old maths professor. You come to him to ask him about polynomial division and he starts by explaining you the complete probability theory…)

If you or someone you know is still visiting your grandparents now and then (maybe your parent that is their child?), you could maybe bring the birds new foraging toys, so they have at least stimulation. However, I think that’s the least of their problem. It’s something easy to do, though, and I don’t see what your grandmother could possibly have against new toys if they’re already there and she doesn’t have to do anything with them.

Of course, they could also change the water, while they’re at it, and maybe sneak in some actual parrot food for greys and cockatoos, and throw the sugar-stuff away. That’s assuming that they’re visiting daily, though.If they’re not, changing the food might still be an option, as with the toys: If they already bring it to your grandmother, and it’s paid for, I don’t see why she would have a problem with it, if someone explains to her that it’s healthier for the birds.

For the water, I have heard tale that water dispensers (they look something like this or this) keep the water “fresher” since there would be no poop/food/newpaper in it. It’s still important to change it everyday, but it might improve the situation a lot.(Please don’t buy the dispensers off the internet, except it’s a site that you trust and that says it’s specially for parrots. I’ve heard horror stories of lead-poisoning and whatnot from toys, water dispensers and food bowels from dubious sources. Go to a pet store and make sure the materials are listed on the packaging, and that they are safe materials!Please also make sure that they’re the right size for your birds. My parrotlets wouldn’t be able to drink from the dispensers that looks like the one bunnies have, and if the second type is too small for a bird’s beak, it obviously can’t drink from it either…)

The most obvious advice, of course, is to talk to your grandma or have someone who has a better relationship to her, talk to her about it. Maybe they can go to an avian vet with her (make an appointment for a consultation, the vet is probably just as happy to prevent further mistreatment as he’d be to treat it), and have a conversation about how to keep parrots, because if it’s coming from an authority on the field, it’s probably not brushed aside as easily as if it’s a family member.

And lastly, if the whole situation is too bad, and if nothing can be done about it, call animal protection.It’s harsh, but if it were a child, we’d call child protection too. They’re living beings, they feel pain, they feel suffer from illness, mental disorders and everything we do too, and they are even more helpless than a child that can talk (and a child is already absolutely helpless, don’t get me wrong).Maybe, your grandmother doesn’t even want them around anymore. African greys and cockatoos get so old, who knows how long she’s had them? Maybe she changed her mind, maybe the responsibility has gotten to much, and she’s relieved to have them out of the house (also a thing someone should talk to her about, probably). Recently, someone called animal protection for the dog of our neighbours (wasn’t us; to our knowledge, that dog was treated fine, and I still kinda believe that since I’ve never had any reason to believe otherwise, when I saw him), and apparently/allegedly, instead of proving (or even trying to) that the dog is being treated right, they just let them take him, because they were looking to sell him anyway. Maybe it’s kinda the same situation for your grandmother…

I hope that helped and I hope that big wall of text didn’t overwhelm you!

Lastly: Again again, I’m absolutely no expert on bird keeping. I have two parrotlets, that’s all. So if anyone reads this and knows something I wrote to be false, please reblog or message me to let me know (preferably with sources so I know you’re not a troll) so I can change it!

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ F*CKING HIGH ❜

with Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas.

Request: Hey! Maybe prompt 52. When Creeper get shot and Mayans don't know reader but when hé was high on medication he call her at Vicky's House ? 🙈Something really Fluff ? Thanks!! I love ur writings 😊😊

BY ANON

Warnings: none.

Word count: 1.6k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author, I found it on Google.

Masterlist.

The books over the table with a lot of notes scattered around them are starting to give you a horrible headache. You don't know how many hours you have been studying, but you're sure that it was daytime. When you focus your gaze on the horizon, through the window, you're aware of the streetlights turned on outside and the dark sky above Santo Padre. It's your final week to complete the MIR and you have left just one exam. The last one. So, when Creeper told you he was going to travel to Las Vegas for a couple days, you have to recognize that you felt a little alleviated. You want to spend the maximum time possible with him, but you also have to study, but both things aren't compatible. Even so, he should be at home already.

Checking the time on the clock in your wrist, you snort getting up from your chair to pick up the books and your pens. It's enough study for today and you're really hungry. After cleaning the table, you fall down on the sofa turning on the TV and looking in your phone for something to take away. Cooking it's not an option today. Choosing the local pizzeria for excellence, you're about to make the order when an incoming call interrupts your plans. Reading his name on the screen, you answer quickly.

“Babe!”

“Maaaaamaaaa”. He sings, making you frown somewhat confused sitting on the sofa. “Heeeeey, maaaamaaaa”.

“Are you… high, Neron?”

“Yeah… Fuckin' high… for you, my loooove”.

“What the hell? Where the fuck are you?”

“Mama, I want you here. I need you here, maaaama!”

“Ner—”.

“I am… close”.

“Close from what?”

“Border, mama. Close to the border. Come with meeee. I need my nurse, mama, pleaaase”.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Your heart is racing, jumping off from the sofa, running to your shared room.

“A guy shot me, mama. But don' worre', I'm okaaaay”.

“Neron, send me your location right now!”

“Mama, mama, mama, are you comen'?”

“FUCK, NERON, OF COURSE I'M COMING. SEND ME THE FUCKING LOCATION”.

“Don'... Don' shout at me, mama”.

From nowhere, you can hear him crying like a child. Even if he's high, that shit breaks your heart into pieces. Stopping next to your bed rubbing your forehead, barely gulping, you try to calm yourself.

“Are you alone?”

“N—No…”

“The bul—”.

“It's out, mama… I wan—want you here with me. I'm okay, mama, I'm okay… Come with me. Don'... leave me, don' break with me, mama, please”.

“Send me your location, okay? Could you do that for me?”

“Yeah, mama… Are you comen'?”

“Sí, Neron, I'm gonna get dressed, okay?”

“Okay, mama… I love you. I love you, mama. I truly love you, I swear”.

“I know, mi flaquito”.

Hanging up the call, you take some second to breathe calmly before looking for some clothes to put on and grabbing the medical kit when you're ready. They better have something to eat, or there will be more than one man shot. Leaving your house, your phone rings with a notification. The address of Vicki's house. You have heard about it, and you're not surprised at all. According to your boyfriend, this is the favorite place of Mayans. You don't know them, not yet, but you can imagine why they like it this much. Keeping the kit on the back seat, you step in your car turning the engine to follow the instructions recited by the gps.

When it says that you have reached your destiny, you focus through the Camaro's front window to find the house, looking exactly as he described you one day. Going out of the pilot seat and carrying the medical stuff in your right hand, you go upstairs practically jumping them to hit the door with your palm. A girl with brown hair, big eyes and almost naked welcomes you, pushing her by a side before she can talk.

“Hey, hey! Wait! You ca—”.

Coming into the living room, you finally meet his other family. They were drinking and laughing until you appeared, now staring at you confused. The one who you recognize as El Presidente gets up from his chair, the other two are pointing at you with their guns, warned by the bitch behind you.

“I'm from Tijuana, you can't scare me con una pistolita”. (With a gun). You spit with a strong mexican accent, containing a sarcastic laugh.

“Who are y—”.

“MAAAMI, MAAAAMIIIIIIII”.

Hearing your boyfriend calling you, you don't give them a single chance to let you introduce yourself, running upstairs following the laments of Creeper between moans and pleased begs. Disgusting. Opening the last green red door, you finally reach him. The medical kit falls from your hand shocked. Taking a step, you tour his silhouette lying on the mattress. Being shirtless you can see the bandage covering the bullet hole, with some blood trespassing the cotton, and the sling holding the other. His face isn't much better, with some scratches on his left cheek and his temple. The most disturbing is watching him crying like a scared child, trembling and trying to sit up on the bed.

Before the other mexicans can reach you, you're already kneeling on the bed not knowing where you're allowed to touch him and where not.

“Mami, I missed you”.

“You're an idiot, you know it, rai'?” You ask him with your eyes filled with tears, gently caressing the other cheek, while he nods.

Leaning forward you kiss his shaky lips once and again, before feeling his right arm surrounding your waist.

“Let me see the shot, okay?” Whispering, you get up from the bed to take the medical kit, under the look of the men waiting on the door.

“The doctor put it out, disinfected the wound and stitched it up”. El Presidente says, making you frown your eyebrows.

“The doctor, or the vet?”

“Wha—”.

“Answer before I fucking punch you”.

“The vet”.

Of course, it's not the same. Even the medicines that give you in the MIR are stronger than the ones for a veterinarian. Opening the kit over the bed and wearing a pair of blue gloves, you lean on Creeper to take off the bandage and the gauze, narrowing your eyes to see every stitch on it. It's… acceptable, but you could have done it better. Wetting some cotton with iodine, you clean the blood around the suture with soft moves to not hurt him more. Your boyfriend is assorted on how concentrate you look taking care of him.

“Do you know what you are doing, niña?” The oldest one rests his body against the frame.

“'Amma real doctor, not a veterinarian”. You respond without turning at him, but at your kit to find clean gauzes and an adhesive bandage to cover the sewn hole again. “What happened with the other, Neron?”

“Dislocated”. He just says gulping with parted lips.

“What did they gave you for the pain?”

“Just some pills, mami…”

“How many hours ago?”

“Almost ten”. El Presidente replies in his place, making you twist towards him.

“Okay, Creep', I'm going to prick you some morphine”. He just nods.

Grabbing a needle wrapped on a security plastic, you open it to fill it up with the transparent liquid from a small glass bottle. Hitting it softly with two fingers and letting some of the medicine spill on air, you lead the needle to his bare skin over the wound. Nailing it slowly until the metallic part has disappeared inside it. Then, you push the plastic container until empty. Taking off the needle and keeping it again inside its paper, to throw it later, you close the medical kit.

“You need to rest, okay?”

“Mami, stay with me, please… Don' go”. He begs you crying low and holding your hand as strong as he can.

“You need to rest”. You repeat raising both eyebrows and nodding with your chin one time, caressing his grip with your fingers. “I will talk with your friends for a moment. Ain't going anywhere, mi flaquito. Not without you”.

“I love you, mama. I really do”.

“I love you too, Creep'”. Smirking at your boyfriend, you kiss him again having a little more of caring to not hurt him. “Sleep, flaquito”.

Placing the medical kit over a desk, you leave him closing the door, killing with your eyes the men in front of you.

“I'm hungry, so you better find me some dinner”.

“First, tell us who you are, because he's high enough to confuse himself and believe that he's the fucking Messiah”.

“I'm his girlfriend, pendejo. And you're gonna be a dead man if you don't bring me my fucking dinner”.

El Presidente chuckles rubbing his chin, before nodding, seeing you disappear through the opened door again. Coming back to the bed, you can notice that your boyfriend isn't crying anymore, smiling like an idiot. Sighing you lie down by his side, wrapping his body with both arms, letting him find a comfortable posture under them. You can feel his lips kissing your right forearm somewhat sleepy, purring like a cat. Definitely, he's too high.

“Mami, I love you…” He whispers when you begin to caress his neck with your fingertips. “You are the love of my life…”

“Yeah, you already said it… like a lot of times”. You laugh softly, turning towards you with a soft grimace of pain on his face.

“Love you it's my favorite thing”. He mumbles stunned because of the smile on your lips.

“Mine too, babe. I love you more than anything”.

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