#i don't have any evidence these are just my mundane thoughts

[sokoal]

Some Charles fans in the past few days are very annoying. Why do you think about Charles as an innocent puppy? He is a grown up man with a sufficient level of self-confidence. Not a defenseless little boy who can't fight his own rigths. I'm sure when he was aware about Lewis his first thought was his own place in the team. But why do you think he didn't use this during the negotiations?? And don't have illusions, he definitely knew about it all the time not just in the winter. I'm quite sure after Lewis signed his contract with Merc Charles knew that Lewis didn't closed all the doors to Ferrari. Do not think that these two didn't talk even once about it... So yes, Charles can fight and he certainly reached as much as he wanted. He would never have signed the contract if he had not insured himself.

And yeah, at first sight Charles' situation is not the best, but don't you think that Lewis took the biggest risk here? What if his calculations won't work? Charles wins anyway. He has an opportunity to prove himself again and I think he sees it as a motivation. In the other hand he wants change inside of Ferrari, just like Fred, and the best boost for this is Lewis. And don't forget that Lewis is one of the best development pilot so with his knowledge and attitude he can shake this team from nihilism...

Oh and Lewis gets paid more.... pff please, he is Lewis Hamilton for god sake! I guess this is the last thing what Charles cares about...

[littlefireball]

May I please request a Yeosang x reader x Seongwha smut. Where yeosang is a virgin and so is reader and seongwha set up so yeosang can lose his virginity unknowingly the reader was a virgin so they went at it and reader started to bleed and freak out and Yeosang helped her settle down and called Seongwha to come in and help etc?

hmm sorry im not sure i understand so i write this request based on my own understanding.

ʏꜱ|ᴍᴀʀᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ (ᴍ) ꜰᴛ. ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ

ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ʜʏʙʀɪᴅ ʏᴇᴏꜱᴀɴɢ x ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ʜʏʙʀɪᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ʜʏʙʀɪᴅ ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ᴏʀᴀʟ|ɴᴇᴄᴋ ᴋɪꜱꜱ|ᴅʀʏ ʜᴜᴍᴘ|ᴛʜʀᴇᴇꜱᴏᴍᴇ(??)|ᴄʟɪᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ|ʀᴏᴜɢʜ ꜱᴇx

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.2ᴋ

Masterlist

Dragon hybrids, like werewolves, usually find their soulmate after their first shift which is between the age 18 to 20. Yet, there is a difference. If that dragon hybrid doesn't mark their mate, they can be marked by others which means their soulmate can be 'stolen'.

"You still haven't marked Y/N yet?!"Seonghwa nearly exclaimed in disbelief upon learning that you and Yeosang had not yet mated. "We are not prepared," Yeosang mumbled, feeling embarrassed as he nervously scratched his neck.

"C'mon, Yeosang. You know it's risky if you don't mark her." "I know but…" To be honest, Seonghwa couldn't imagine Yeosang marking you as he was too innocent to do that. But, it was necessary. Seonghwa's mate had been 'stolen' because he believed they weren't ready for mating, just like what Yeosang thought, and tragedy ensued. The painful and sorrowful memories were still fresh, and he never wanted Yeosang to go through that.

"Sangie~" You rushed to Yeosang once you found Yeosang and Seonghwa were resting in the pavilion, back hugging yeosang and nuzzling his neck. You loved his oud wood scent. "Have you finished training?" He gently caressed your head, smiling lovingly. "Yah!I ranked first today. Did I do well?" You nodded as a fool, acting so cute. "My baby is always doing well." He pecked at your cheek, his gaze wall full of affection.

"Okay, you two. I'm still here." Seonghwa said helplessly, covering his face as if he was watching something embarrassing. "Oh sorry, Seonghwa." You trailed off, offering an embarrassing smile.

"Y/N you want a fly?" Yeosang asked. "Sure." "Okay, then you two go to fly and don't be hovey-dovey in front of me." You two nodded as you spread your wings and flew to the sky, disappearing from Seonghwa's gaze.

"Sigh Maybe I have to do something to help them." Seonghwa decided.

—----

You both embraced each other on the lush green grass, relishing in the serene moments. While some may find it mundane to simply recline on the earth and engage in idleness, you both found joy in it as well. After all, you were soulmates.

"Y/N?" "Hm?" You raised your head to meet his gentle gaze. "I have something to ask you…" "What? Honey." "You are my mate and I know it is risky not to mark you." Yeosang trailed off, feeling embarrassed as blush creeped up his face. You didn't say anything but just looked at him getting closer to your lips. "What do you think about this?" He brushed your lips with his thumb, whispering softly. "I…" A sudden ringing phone cut you off, Yeosang took out his phone and 'Seonghwa hyung' flashed on the screen.

"Hello?" Seonghwa's angry face displayed on the screen, you knew something bad happened. "Yeosang, you better come back now. LOOK AT THE MESS YOU'VE MADE!" The camera panned to reveal a charred section of the kitchen, evidence of a forgotten stove. "Oh my god! I'm back right now!" Both of you flew back to their shared house as fast as possible, without noticing that it was only a fake image.

"Seonghwa hyung?" The house stood empty, devoid of any signs of a burnt stove. All seemed in perfect order, as if untouched by any mishap. "Why did he call us then?" Yeosang inquired, to which you simply shrugged. "Yet, do you not detect a special fragrance?" Upon stepping inside, a delightful aroma embraced you like a warmth, causing both your body temperatures to soar.

"Is it from you?Y/N?" You could tell Yeosang's gaze was full of lust, his tone became even deeper. Actually, that special fragrance was yours, just enhanced. Yeosang's oud wood scent enveloped you like a hot wave; and your musk scent crushed his sanity.

Both of you got nuts.

"You smell so good, Y/N." Yeosang's longing surged like a wild creature unleashed from its confines, compelling him to assert his dominance over you. He found himself unable to resist drawing you close, burying his face in your neck, savoring your intoxicating aroma. "Yeo…yeosang." Instinctively, you tilted your head, granting him greater proximity, sensing his hold grow stronger.

"No, it's not enough." He whispered softly against your delicate skin before swiftly removing your top. Yeosang was overcome with desire, lavishing kisses on every inch of your body as he tore your garments apart. You were taken aback by his sudden intensity, yet you couldn't bring yourself to halt his actions. He lifted you onto the table, causing items to crash to the floor. The noise of shattered objects failed to rouse him from his trance; his mind was consumed by your intoxicating scent.

You grabbed the edge of the table tightly to support yourself, watching him bury his face in your lower core. Pulling the hem of your panties to the side, he sucked and kissed your clit without a second thought. "Fuck!" You screamed at the sudden touch of wet muscle, making him suck harder and lick quicker. "Baby, you taste so good." He whispered against your clit before standing up to undress himself. Due to his lack of patience, he found himself in a rush. Enraged, he swiftly tore off his garments, causing the fabric to drape on each side of his well-built physique and you swallowed hard at this sense.

"Mine." He pulled out his cock and eased into you in one go, making you throw your head. Yet, he didn't allow you a moment to adjust as he proceeded with such intensity and speed. You furrowed your brow and clenched your lip to bear the discomfort, assuming it was usual. Yet, the discomfort jolted you awake from the longing. With each collision, it seemed as though you were being struck by a boulder, prompting you to hiss.

"Yeosang, yeosang." You attempted to halt him, yet he remained oblivious to your murmur. Your warmth, your fragrance, every aspect of you sent him into a frenzy. He drew his hips and shoved into you with all his might. "Oh!Fuck!!It hurts!Please stop, yeosang!" The sharp pain became unbearable and you shouted out, making yeosang stop immediately as his sanity came back.

"Baby?Baby?Are you alright?I…I…I'm sorry." He was heartbroken when he saw you cry, and couldn't believe what he had done to you. "Oh my god, you're bleeding." "What?!"As he withdrew slowly, he found that the blood was staining on his member and even dripping onto your thighs. You freaked out, not sure when it would stop. "It must hurt, I'm sorry, honey." Yeosang comforted you as he swept your tears and caressed your cheek with all his gentleness.

"Don't be that rough…" "Yah, yah, I'm sorry." He murmured softly before placing a tender kiss on your cheek; you enveloped him in a warm embrace, yearning for comfort. But, both of you felt bad now, not only because of the pain he caused, but also from the fiery desire that still raged within your bodies. "Please fuck me one more time, I need you, sangie." You begged, feeling the emptiness was unbearable.

You needed him to fill you up, with his knot.

"But…what if I hurt you again? And you have to stop bleeding first." He asked with concern. "Please, please, please." You relinquished control as the tumultuous emotions unsettled you; yearning for his return, you extended your tail to ensnare his thigh and draw him near, yet the pain he caused just now gave you pause.

Feeling his tip rubbed against your entrance sent you a numbness through your body. Yes, that's what you wanted. Yeosang, however, stopped you before you could have a further process, causing you to whine in dissatisfaction.

"Baby, wait for a second. Hm?" You shook your head and pouted. "Be a good girl," He gently tucked your hair behind your ear, pecking at your cheek. "Let me help you stop bleeding first, okay? And I'll call Seonghwa hyung for help."

—---

"Need some help?" Seonghwa entered the room without a second thought once he received Yeosang's message for help, not realizing the fragrance was still lingering. Shit. Your musk scent was so freaking good to drive him crazy. "Oh gosh…" Seonghwa growled in a deep voice as he found you hugging Yeosang naked like a koala.

He wanted to fuck you, too.

"Seonghwa hyung, we need your help." Seonghwa clenched fists to keep calm, coming to both of you. "Wh─what you need…need me?" He stammered, unable to tear his gaze from your beautiful figure. "Please, teach me how to mark her." Yeosang's words made his eyes widened at surprise, he never expected this kind of request. "I hurt her but I can't just leave her…Did you get it…?" "Well, what you need to do is treat her gently." He swallowed hard as he got closer to you, feeling all the heat rush to his tip.

Seonghwa walked to you, his fingertip shaking at the moment he touched your back. His hands shifted to your thighs, lifting you up and whispering in your ears, "Sit on him, girl." Aiming at Yeosang's arched cock, you slowly sunk down and hissed at slight pain. "Take it slow and don't be too rough. That's it." Seonghwa's deep voice sent shiver down your spine, not to mention his breath landed against your skin, making your heartbeat raise up.

Your head rested on Yeosang's chest for a while, but still not moving. This position allowed Yeosang to nestle so deep inside you, each small movement could stimulate you. "I-I need help…" You asked for help as you were afraid of pain to move. "It's okay, honey." Yeosang brought you into a passionate kiss by cupping your face, sucking your lips slightly while starting to thrust upward. But again, you frowned because it was uncomfortable.

He was too big for you, maybe.

"Hey hey, slow it down, Yeosang." Seonghwa climbed onto the bed and sat behind you. "Try to relax, don't be so intense, Y/N." "Can you help her? Seonghwa hyung." "Wh…Are you sure?" "Yes, please help me, Seonghwa." "I won't mark her, I promise."

Seonghwa's hand trailed down to your clit, giving it a soft press before rubbing it at a quick pace. "Shit…" You whispered softly as you sensed his strong chest against your delicate back. Seonghwa skillfully moved his lower core closer to your ass, caressing it with his curved crotch; Yeosang, on the other hand, firmly held your chin to claim you into a hungry kiss.

You could feel how Seonghwa's cock nestled between your tight asses and Yeosang's member twitched each time you let out a moan. Seonghwa traced circles with his finger, occasionally tapping it, sending ripples of ecstasy through you. As the kiss broke, a newfound confidence surged within you, compelling you to bounce with desire. You mirrored Seonghwa's rhythm, bouncing up and down, maintaining a steady tempo.

"You're so good, babe." Yeosang rolled his eyes at the back as his tip reached the deepest part when you sunk down. The sensation of numbness just like an electricity ran through the whole body, making you both moan so loud. "Doing well, Y/N." Seonghwa encouraged you.

"Fuck!" You let out a soft whimper as their pace quickened. Yeosang surged upward, striking your most sensitive spot perfectly, causing your walls to clench around him. "I must claim you now," he declared, his size increasing as he prepared to knot you. With a firm grip on your waist, Yeosang leaned in closer. "Oh my!" Your head nestled against Seonghwa's chest, his crotch sunk deeper, eliciting a shared moan that lingered on both your lips.

Yeosang buried his face into the crook of your neck while thrusting as fast as possible. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, nails digging into his skin, making blood flow out a little bit. Yeosang never felt this excitement before, causing him to almost cum. Seonghwa continued to tap and caressed your clit, moving faster to follow Yeosang's thrust.

"Fuck!!" Suddenly, a sharp pain spread throughout the body. Yeosang's cock entered your most intimate space and locked in. His thrusting was ruthless, trying to reach his peak. "Yeo…yeosang." You shutted your eyes and panted heavily, the pain was shifted to pleasure after a few powerful thrust. "Baby, cum with me and be mine." His words pushed you to the edge, coming hard on his cock. Yeosang bit your chest and released it all after a while, finishing the marking.

"Oh god…"Yeosang laid beside the bed and pulled you into his arms. "You alright?Honey." "Yah, I'm ok." Three of you wheezed and sweated profusely. "Thank you, hyung." "Nothing, just remember to clean up is ok." He rested his arm on his forehead, finding a wet spot on his crotch. Alas, it was hard to clean. Screw it!

"But wait a minute…" Yeosang gazed at Seonghwa with shock. "You call us back but there is no burnt stove!" Seonghwa stammered, not knowing how to respond. "You fool us!" "Wait─aww…" "What a horrible hyung!" "Wh─I just…sigh fine…" But, it may not be bad at all because you finally became his, forever his.

[reidfucker]

two left feet

dr. spencer reid knows how to dance. keyword, knows how to — not that he's any good at actually, physically performing it.

or dr. spencer reid asks you to waltz with him.

an itty bitty reid drabble as i try to familiarize myself with tumblr. no beta or second thoughts at all !!! i typed all of this out experimentally. (update: edited it a tad :–D)

oh, and spencer is a trans man. it's not explicitly stated or dwelt upon, but i hope you know.

once reid gets into something, he gets into it. lately, he's been reading up on dancing: in particular, the waltz.

in his silently agreed on corner of the couch, with his feet in your lap as you sat beside him. you see him reading the waltz book, whatever that entailed.

it wasn't uncommon for spencer to be interested by things he completely hadn't dabbled in the past. he usually accumulated facts on a multitude of topics, storing each trinket of knowledge for later use. though, he hardly ever applied those skills after getting familiar with them.

this time, he closes the book, thinking to himself. you can't help but giggle to yourself and wonder, what is so thought-provoking about the waltz? but reid finds something to ponder on even in the most mundane things, so there's no need to question.

"hm." reid hums, getting your attention.

"spence?" you can visibly see his train of thought derail.

"oh– um– i was just wondering if..." he considers his words, "i was just going to ask if you'd like to dance with me."

you grin, "aw, of course. who am i to decline you?"

"um... i'm no good yet. but hey, what's learning without trying?" he gives a shy smile, getting on his feet pushing up his reading glasses, instead of taking them off. you told him he looked cute in glasses, and he'd look cute nonetheless, but you noticed he wears them more often now.

"what songs go well with the dance you have in mind?" you say, browsing through your cd collection.

"would it be cliché if i said 'cant help falling in love' by elvis presley?" spencer stands slightly behind you, sort of waiting for you.

"yeah... very cliché. but it's okay, i'll play it anyway." you can't help but grin at how anxious he is about nearly everything.

"well, it's because my mother loves that song. well, used to, now she can hardly remember things."

you turn to him once the cd is in place, "you don't need to explain yourself to me, spencer. i like the song." you reassure him, "now... shall we dance?" you hold a hand out.

spencer gladly takes your hand, gladly taking charge. you've never danced before, and it's evident that spencer hasn't either, but strangely, you feel like the ceramic couples spinning together inside a music box.

he closes his eyes, following the rhythm, visualizing the images from the textbook.

what a mind, you think. it would be nice to live inside his brain: to know every thought before it's fully processed, to see what images flash through his mind, to watch the connections between lines from books and quotes an unsub dropped.

on the other hand, you don't know what you're doing. spencer's eyes flutter open and closed every once in a while and he oh-so-softly laughs whenever he commits a mistake. you consider kissing him, but you don't want to interrupt this brilliant mind at work.

once he's comfortable enough with the pace, he leans his forehead on your shoulder, transitioning into slow dancing. you wrap your arms around his waist, and you just melt together.

rocking you back and forth just in time with the rhythm, he whispers in your ear, "you know, waltzing was considered... scandalous back in the day. couples danced in what they called 'closed position,' they were practically, uh, pelvis to pelvis."

you chuckle, giving him a nod. he feels you nod and takes it as a sign he's good to continue.

"yeah, up until the waltzes of strauss, it was deemed inappropriate. i get that, 'the blue danube' is such a beautiful song, it's hard to pass up the opportunity to... y'know..."

reid rambles on, whispering to you all throughout, as if he were professing his love for you. and in his own little way, you knew he was.

he takes a few (many) awkwardly timed steps, and even you can admit your bodies don't flow together seamlessly. but really, it isn't half-bad.

[ohtobeleah]

Best Worst Christmas // Jake Seresin

Summary: After some life altering news. You confide in Hangman which leads you to ticking off something incredibly important on your bucket list.

Warnings: Terminal illness. Mentions of death. Dark humour. Jake Seresin x Reader. Angst & fluff—Jake being just the best version of himself.

Word Count: 4.8k

Author Note: TRUST ME TO DO THIS. Because we can’t have anything nice here. Even at Christmas time. Got this idea from Bianca’s story line from Shameless. Not your typical happy go lucky Christmas fic.

Slow motion. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. From the way Bob brought the lip of his glass of lemonade up to his mouth to hide his infectious smile to the way Bradley twirled Phoenix under his arm and pulled her into his side. Dancing to whatever song had been blaring from the jukebox. 

Slow. Slow and silent. You couldn't hear a single thing beside the high pitched ringing in your ears that sounded like just the right pitch to break the glass of the windows out front. No laughter, no music, no mundane chatter from other patrons littering the Hard Deck on this oh so average Friday afternoon. 

Except there was nothing average about being told just forty five minutes ago that you were dying. Merry Fucking Chrismas. 

“I'm sorry, Payback.” You shook your head softly as you blinked a few times, the ringing in your ears clearing as everything seemed to come back into real time, sound and all. “What did you say?” 

“I said you don't look so good, Jake mentioned you left early for a doctor appointment off base, you good?” 

“What is Hangman doing with my name in his mouth?” You spat before you took what was left of your beer into your mouth, skulling the burnt amber liquid like there was no tomorrow. For you there really wasn't all that much time left. Paying attention to how your liver processed alcoholic beverages had become an afterthought. “But yeah, I uh– I did.” 

“Something any of us should be worried about?” Payback had always been a kind and gentle soul. You envied his passion for all things Christmas. His ugly Christmas sweater told you everything that you needed to know, his was down bad for the holiday season. “Nut?” 

“Everything’s just peachy keen Fitch, you don't gotta worry about me.” You tried your best to hide the ever mounting pressure you felt in your chest through a pained smile and soft gaze. “But–” You held your empty glass up as you twirled around on the barstool you'd been sitting on. “I'm tapped so I'm gonna grab another beer and then you and I are gonna have a game of pool once shit for brains is finished showboating.” Reuben followed where your eyeline had evidently landed and low and behold there stood none other than Jake Seresin, claiming his title as undefeated pool champion with a grin so prominent on his face it made you feel sick to your stomach. “Be right back.” 

You slid off the stool and fixed the ‘Christmas’ dress that had been sticking to the back of your thighs. It wasn't anything special, just a red mid length dress that fit the Christmas attire that had been mandated but Reuben Fitch himself. Head and only member of the party planning committee. It wasn't anything special, but at least the dress was red, right? 

You'd been excited for the staff Christmas party for months up until the moment your doctor had sat you down and handed you a one way ticket to the afterlife. You thought maybe the reason you'd been feeling so unwell over the last few weeks had been an imbalance in your birth control or a shift in seasons or just something, anything other than what your final prognosis had ended up being. 

“What can I get you Nut?” Penny asked when she saw you leaning against the bar, card in hand, swinging on the barstool. “The usual?” 

“Uh can I get a double Jamison please Pen, on the rocks if you could.” Penny got to work fixing up your order as Jake slipped in beside you. Not turning his head in your direction as he fished his wallet out from the back of his jeans as he sat. The stupid matching Chrismas shirt he wore with Bradley looked ridiculous on him. Only Bradley Bradshaw could pull off a Christmas themed Hawaiian shirt. It wasn't Hangman's usual attire, it looked idiodic on him in the best way possible. 

“Another beer if you can Penny, extra tenner on the bar for you too.” Jake was, if anything, a charmer at heart. But despite his ability to smooth talk his way out of any situation and into anyone that had a hole he could put it in, you couldn't stand him. “You seem even more shrewd than usual this afternoon there Nut, not feeling the Christmas cheer?” and he couldn't stand you either. Or so you both led on. 

“Bit me.” Penny slid you the class, brown bourbon had never tasted so good before as you downed the double shot you ordered before slamming the glass back down. It wasn't the best move you could have made because the second you swallowed? Your stomach churned. “I gotta go.” You were quick for a woman who could barely walk in heels, racing towards the nearest exit without so much as causing a scene. Leaving Jake in your dust as he almost gave himself whiplash trying to crain his head fast enough to keep up.

“Wait, hold on the parties just getting started?” Jake took the beer bottle from Penny, being gentleman enough to say a quick thankyou her way before making a dash after you towards the front door. “Nwet hold on!” Your call sign had you as the Goddess of the sky. The name originating from Egyptian Mythology, but for some reason or another that had been shortened even further. Everyone just called you Nut for short. 

“Not now Hangman, I’m serious I’m not fee–” You didn't get a chance to finish your sentence before you were throwing up the contents of your stomach in the nearest pot plant on the front deck. Down on your knees as your hands gripped at the ceramic. Coughing and splattering as Jake put his beer down on the railing and balled your hair into his first to keep it from falling into the backsplash. 

“Alright, I'm cutting you off killer, how much have you had to drink?” Jake crouched down beside you as you sat back on your heels, whipping your mouth on your forearm. “You good?” 

“Get me another drink and I'll be even better.” You had heard loud and clear what Jake had said but just chose to ignore it. You didn't have much choice anymore. Jake just looked at you like you were on another planet. His eyes wide as his mouth fell slightly open in shock. There weren't many people who could render Jake Seresin speechless–but you always seemed to manage. 

It was the same look he gave you whenever you'd get into a heated argument over training sessions or whenever you’d go head to head in another one of your PTI’s latest workouts. The same look he gave you when you said you were fine when you had to miss the last few days of flight training, the same look he gave you when he found you making your doctor's appointment in the rec room between his runs. He looked at you like you hung the stars in the night sky just for him and once he’d finished admiring them you'd knock them out of the sky just to watch them shatter before him. Unpredictable and oh so beautiful. 

“Uh, no–I'm not gonna get you another drink when you're throwing up in Pennys plants.” 

“It's not the alcoholic, Jake.” You sighed out in response as you pressed your palm to your forehead. 

“It most definitely is I can smell it on yo–” You didn't know why, out of all the people you could have told first. Your Parents, Your Commanding Officers, any of your colleagues that seemed more and more like family every day, you chose Jake fucking Seresin to drop the biggest life ending bomb on. The worst Christmas Present ever. Deep deep down you knew exactly why. But there was no time left to figure it out now. 

“Jake it's not the Alcohol.” You cut him off, shutting your eyes as tight as you could because you couldn't look at him when you told him. “It's cancer.” 

“What?” When you opened your eyes again Jake's expression had softened to something you’d never seen before. “What do you mean it's cancer?” This couldn't really be happening could it? You wouldn't be cruel enough to play such a sick joke on him. But with the way you were looking at him right now? Jake felt his heart collapse into his stomach. The love of his life had cancer? “What do you mean by cancer Y/n?” Jake repeated as he brushed your hair away from your shoulder. “You aren’t being serious right now are you?” You didn’t respond right away because you were stunned at the saddened and stunned look Hangman had been stricken by.

“What I mean by cancer is that I have a shelf life.” You tried to make the moment a little more lighthearted. “A cosmic fuck you when you were just getting started huh.” It was the hardest thing you'd ever done, to sit in front of the man you loved to hate and hated to love and tell him you were dying. You hadn’t even had a chance to see what you could have been. You'd both been too caught up playing the long con that you'd wasted whatever time you had. 

“What's the uh–?” Jake didn't know how to ask as he stood with you and moved over to the nearest table that was clear and free. “What's the prognosis?” 

“Stage three Pancreatic–well basically stage four but—” Silence fell as Jake sat beside you completely stunned. His mind was running a million miles an hour, thinking of all the times you’d smiled at him. Beamed his way whenever he taunted you or teased you for something stupid and meaningless. You took everything like a champ because you could dish it out in return. He’d learnt to expect an elbow to the ribs whenever you had this one particular look in your eye. 

“And what's the going rate for stage three?” Jake wanted to hear you say at least something promising, but that wasn’t the case at all.

“Two Percent, Doc said even that was being generous.” His heart stopped for a moment. This wasn’t happening, not to you. Not to the one woman he had ever loved.

“Okay but what about chemo? What about other treatments that could surely raise that number up right?” 

“Oh, I ah–I don't wanna do any treatment.” That knocked the wind right out of Jake, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Like the entire world had just been knocked out from under his feet. “I saw what it did to my friend's mother Cathy, she spent whatever time she had left being pumped full of poison, because of it she became so weak she couldn't enjoy the things she could have been while she still had time.” 

“You can't not try Y/n.” Jake had moved as close to you as he possibly could. So much so it was easy enough for you to accept your own mortality with your head resting gently on his shoulder. “It's probably really selfish of me to say this but I'm not ready to just let you go.” 

“Please, spare me the hallmark card sympathies Seresin.” Scoffing, you took the beer bottle Jake had been sipping infrequently on. Taking a gulp of the yeasty beverage. “I don't need you treating me any differently now that you know I'm practically worm food.” It was the way Jake looked at you like he couldn't believe what you had just said. Did you expect him not to laugh or something? Strifally back a laugh so pure Jake waited for you to crack first, the symphony of highs and lows that sounded like the most prim and proper orchestra surrounded him as you laughed with him. 

“When did you find out? You seem to be dealing with the inevitability of it all well.” 

“About fifty minutes before I told you.” The smile had been whipped clean from Jake's face once again. The laughter that had just filled the atmosphere around you both now replaced with silence so heavy you were sure you had just been buried alive. “I haven't told anyone, and I wasn't planning to either.” 

Although you and Jake pretended most days to loathe each other's existence, there was no real animosity there. It was simply a childish act. Your mother had told you at an early age that boys who pulled your pony tail on the playground at school must have liked you. So you learnt play rough too, showing your affection by taunting and teasing between lingering eyes and daydreams of what it would be like to be with Jake as more than just whatever the fuck you were. 

“Why did you tell me? I mean I thought I would have been the last person on earth you would have spilled your darkest secrets to.” Jake felt nothing but content when you let your head fall back to his shoulder. He decided this time though to wrap a comforting arm around you—drawing you further into his side. 

“Believe it or not you were the first person who came to mind when I was told.” You'd thought about what Jake would say. If he’d even say anything at all when he found out, if he’d change the way he treated you or if there would be a small part of him that would be relieved that you wouldn't be around to annoy him anymore or challenge him whenever he thought he was better than you. “I thought maybe you’d be a good person to tell because you wouldnt look at me like I was weak.” 

“If there’s one thing you are, it's not weak.” Jake shook his head as he finished the remains of his beer. Standing as he offered you a hand. “Come on, we’re getting out of here.” 

“What? Where are we going?” You didn’t protest all that much—knowing what Jake had in mind was probably better than wallowing in self pity. You took his hand gracefully as he guided you to stand, meeting his gaze yet again. 

“We’re gonna go back to your place—“ 

“Oh, as if you would.” You cracked a smile as Jake looked at you a little confused. “I’m dying Hangman, don’t get that confused with desperate.” It wasn’t that you wouldn’t, you would in a heartbeat—but the feeling you got from your back and forth taunting just made the prize all the more worth it. Jake just stood in front of you, eyes trailing from your gaze to your lips then back to

Your eyes. Committing every last detail of your face to his long term memory. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, but we’re going back to yours.” 

“I told Payback I’d play a game of pool with him.” You explained as you tried to push past Jake, all he did was grip your wrist, stopping you from getting any further away from him. “Jesus Christ Jake what has gotten into you?” You stood there questioning his sudden need to be overbearing. 

“You just told me you have terminal cancer and you’re asking me what’s gotten into me! Jesus Y/n.” Jake let go of your wrist as he ran his hands through his hair, extinguishing a frustrated sigh as he looked anywhere but directly at you when he let his guard down. Nothing good ever came with Jake Seresin let his guard down, so he didn’t do it all that often. “I was just told the woman I’ve been obsessed with for the last year is dying and there’s literally not a single thing that I can do to stop it!” You let your walls down almost instantly at the confirmation, softening your shoulders and letting yourself just enjoy the satisfaction of the moment you thought would never come. Jake knew you were thinking—he could practically see the cogs turning in your head as you stood before him smirking a bashful smile. Suddenly doe eyed and willing to step a little closer. “What?” Jake scoffed as his lips curled into a smile that matched yours. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“So you’re obsessed with me huh?” 

“That’s your take on this whole situation?” 

“Oh yeah—“ Wrapping your arms around the back of Jake's neck you drew him all the more closer as his hands instinctively went to your hips. “Because I didn’t have to admit that I’m obsessed with you first.” You really didn’t give him a second to respond with some witty remark on how he was just saying it because he felt sorry for you—instead you let your lips press against Jakes softly. Testing the waters before diving into the deep end. Pulling back as you slowly opened your eyes. “It’s not fair of me to ask you to love me, especially knowing what you know—“ It was Jake's turn to cut you off before you could try and talk him out of spending whatever time you had left right by your side. His lips connected with yours as his hands came up to cup your cheeks as your tongue danced with his. Savoring every second because you’d always wondered what type of kisser Jake Seresin was. The answer? He knew what he was doing. 

“Doesn’t mean I won’t.” Pulling away momentarily Jake tan the pads of his thumbs across your flushed cheeks. “How long?” Jake didn’t really want to know the answer but he knew deep down it wouldn’t be long. 

“Anywhere between six months to a year.” It broke your heart the way Jake dropped his chin slightly at the realisation. “Depends on my lifestyle.” 

“Then I’m gonna be by your side for the next six to twelve months.” Jake promised as he held his hand up to wrap his pinky with yours. “Till the end of the line.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

Not a single person had seen you or Jake leave the Hard Deck unannounced. Payback had texted you a few times before you decided enough was enough and sent him a quick message saying you were with Jake before placing your phone on do not disturb. 

“Okay so you’re sure this one has the built in lighting?” Jake asked just one more time as you both stood back and looked at the piles of broken down Christmas tree that you’d sectioned into piles on your living room floor. 

“For the millionth time, yes—“ You’d leant Jake a pair of your ex’s old sweatpants that you’d forgotten you had until he was long gone. They fit snug, but well. In true Hangman style though? He was parading around your house, shirtless. Sweats hanging low leaving very little to the imagination. 

“Okay well, let’s start by fanning these prongs out before we attach anything to the trunk.” You’d changed into your Christmas pajamas—a cartoon version of the grinch saying it’s about to get naughty right across your chest. Jake had thought your house would be full of Christmas decorations by now—always the life of every holiday season. But when he stepped through the threshold and saw you hadn’t been bothered he knew that had to change. 

Especially if there was a possibility this could be your last Christmas. 

“You got your tree up yet?” You asked as soft melodies of Christmas songs played from your speaker, filling the living room as you and Jake sat on the ground amongst a sea of fake Christmas tree. Jake nodded softly as he worked to fluff out the prongs. 

“Yep, had it delivered the first of November—got a real one this year.” 

“Yeah you would be the type of person to have a real tree wouldn’t you.” It’s not that you had anything against it, it’s just that a real tree always seemed like so much work. “But if I get the chance to see next Christmas, I’ll get a real one.” 

“We can go Christmas tree shopping, new ornaments and all.” Jake offered as his pile grew a little faster then yours. “How come you hadn’t put your tree up yet?” He asked, perplexed. “You’re always drowning on about how the holidays are your favourite time of year.” You didn’t answer right away, you were going to make up some lame excuse but then you remembered Jake Seresin was the o my other person besides you general practitioner that knew you were dying. You could tell him. 

“I just haven’t really had the energy to.” 

“The cancers the reason you haven’t been flying as much isn’t it?” 

“Yep.” You popped your lips at the P. “Probably won’t be too long now before I’m stuck behind some desk in the admin building doing some mundane Johnny pencil pusher projects.” Sighing, you reached for another set of prongs. “Even a swivel chair will eventually make me gag—I don't know how much longer I’ll be able to withstand G’s and barrel roll.” 

“Well damn Nut, who’s gonna keep the top of my head from popping off?” Jake teased as he came to sit beside you, leaning back on the couch as he legs fell either side of you. Your back to his chest as he took the prongs you were working on from your hands and finished it himself. “You’ve always kept my ego from inflating.” 

“God help the crew when I’m dead and gone.” You chuckled softly as you left your sink into Jake's embrace. “You’ll just have to remember who’s the goddess of the sky, I’ll still be around to kick your ass.” 

“Oh yeah? How are you gonna manage that killer?” 

“I’ll wiggle your ear whenever you do something stupid.” You grinned, reaching up and around to wiggle Jake's earlobe. “Like that, whoever you get a little too hot headed, you’ll feel me.” 

“Deal.” Jake smiled softly as he kissed your shoulder from behind. “Now, while I’ll sit here fanning these things out, why don’t you make a list of all the things you wanna do between the next six to twelve months?” 

“Like a bucket list?” You asked softly as you lulled your head back to catch the glint in Jake's eyes. 

“Exactly, whatever you wanna do, I’ll help you do it.” You really couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. Settling back against Jake you started listing off things in your notes app. 

“I wanna get a tattoo, something stupid but meaningful—maybe even just something funny.” You’d end up getting a matching tattoo with Jake a few weeks later. Both in the same spot, on your tricep just above your elbow. Two hands pinky promising—till the end of the line written in calligraphy.

“Solid plan, I approve, what else Nut?” Jake reached for another pile to fluff up, almost having made his way through all the pieces. 

“I wanna skinny dip at the beach, at night, or even when the suns just starting to set.” Jake takes you. You both strip down and race towards the waters edge. You wrestle and fight until you're hooking your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. Kissing him like you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. His hands hold you up by your ass—and you squeal when a rogue wave knocks you both down. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” 

“Shameless Y/l/n, but deal—what’s next.” You add about six different things onto your list, telling Jake every single one as you both stand to place all the pieces of your tree together. Deciding that you were both committing to the entire project together. Making a trip into your garage for the ornaments. 

“Maybe I should have a threesome?” You held the ladder at the bottom of your manhole Jake had climbed up into to fetch the seasonal box. “Yeah, never had one of those before but maybe it’s worth checking out.” 

“Two guys or one guy and one girl?” Jake handed you the box before he jumped down with a soft thud. “Or you and two girls?” You just raised a brow in response. “Hey—“ Jake was quick to hold his hands up in surrender. “I dunno what your sexual preferences are! I’m just being inclusive.” He sent you his signature shit eating grin. “But uh, pencil me down for whatever you decide.” 

“You wouldn’t be included in the girl on girl fantasy.” You gained back as Jake took the box back from you, walking side by side down the hall back to your living room. 

“But you’re saying there’s a chance I’d be included in the other two choices.” You never do end up having a threesome, it never actually makes the list. “Can’t say I haven’t dreamed of that a few times.” 

“Really? Funny that, I had a dream that I dropped you down a well just the other night.” You didn’t even look Jake's way as you fished out a few ornaments and started hanging them on the tree. Jake followed curiously. “And get here you are dreaming of having sex with me?” 

“I definitely like my dream a lot better—“ You couldn’t hold back your laugh as you shook your head, turning on your heels to fetch more ornaments. 

“I’m not having sex with you Hungman.” Jake raised his eyebrows in response to what you’d called him over your shoulder. “Isn't that what they all call you?” 

“Seems a little rude, and also short sighted.” He was quick to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, kissing your neck as you tried to pull away. Secretly enjoying the affection you could have been experiencing for a whole year before now. “Add it to your list.” 

“I’ll reluctantly add it to my list.” It didn’t take you and Jake all that much time to finish decorating your Christmas tree. Stepping back to admire your work, you turned on the lights and dimmed down your overheads. Jake held his fist out for your to fist bump before he drew you into his side. You had told Jake you’d add to fuck him onto you bucket list—he even watch your write something down into your notes. But it wasn’t that. No—it was something much better. 

“Best worst Christmas ever, don’t you think Nut?”

“Best worst Christmas ever Hangman.” Turning into Jake you kissed him once again, only for a fleeting moment. “Thankyou for this, just being here—I felt like I was drowning at the bar.”

“Like I said, till the end of the line.” Kissing the top of your head, you asked Jake to say the night, it was the first time Jake Seresin had slept in the same bed as a woman and he didn’t fuck her. All he did was hold you till you fell sleep—and that’s when for only a few brief moments he let himself cry. He loved you, truly. 

***~***~***~***~***~***

Eighteen Months Later //

“Are you thick or are you fucking stupid Rooster!?” Jake barked as he walked down the tarmac towards his wingman. “I said break right and follow back and under—talley two at five o’clock low means exactly that!” Jake was seeing red. “Do you wanna get yourself killed in a real fight?” 

“Ease up, we’re alive and we still have the fastest time on the leaderboard—Coyote, Payback and Fanboy are nowhere near us.”

“That’s not the point, Bradshaw! You just didn’t fucking think!” Jake was seething, his face was red and if Bradley looked close enough? He swore he could see steam coming out of Jake's ears. “Something’s gotta be in there—it can’t just be air in that thick—“ Before Jake could finish, he felt a tugging sensation on his left earlobe. Shutting up instantly as he reached up to tug at the phantom sensation. 

“Nut got your ear?” Bradley asked as he tapped Hangman on the shoulder, Bradley had been the one Jake confided in when you finally passed on. He didn’t believe in the afterlife until he couldn’t let you go. “Mum used to say dad would whistle around the house, she’d smell his cologne too.” Bradley caught the sun catching on Jake's wedding band. You’d both decided fuck it one night and high tailed it to a Vagas to get hitched. “She’s probably trying to tell you to stop yelling at me!” 

Christmas had long passed and Jake still had his dead tree up. Something about taking it down meant saying goodbye and he wasn’t ready to do that. You’d only just managed to make it to new years before deciding you just couldn’t do it anymore. But you were wrapped to have two best worst Christmas’s under your belt. 

Jake held you close till you took your last breath, you weren’t in some hospital somewhere hooked up to all sorts of machines. No. You were down by the ocean, in Jake's arms. Talking about how you were so thankful to have completed everything on your lift. The final one being the most important. 

“Here—“ Jake remembers you saying softly as you handed him a letter. “I wrote them down so you’ll never forget everything you did for me.” 

Jake scanned the page of about fifteen different things you had done together, the last one though he never knew you wrote. He couldn’t help himself as he held you a little tighter, a little closer. He framed the letter and placed it on his bedside table—The tick next to number fifteen his favourite thing of all. 

Number 15: Know what it’s like to fall in love on the worst, best Christmas ever.

[alkaline-wtr]

WE WILL SURVIVE

- - CHAPTER 2 - -

Ghost x reader Description: Reader and Ghost make there way towards the city in search of supplies. Genre/Warnings: zombie apocalypse AU, Ghost x fem!reader, survivor!reader, angst, gore, violence, explicit language, weapons, mentions of death WC: 2.6k

My Masterlist

**I finally finished chapter two!! I am awful at starting stories I find it difficult to push passes the mundane slow set up portion of fics but, I think I hit a decent point here in this chapter where it started to flow together. It took me way longer than I wanted to finish this one. Hopefully, the length makes up for it and from here on it should get a bit more interesting. Enjoy. (started a tag list at the bottom)

<< PART 1

You and Ghost make your way between houses looking for anything useful. So far you had found a few bottles of water and a bit of food. You secured yourself a pocket-knife but still have yet to find a suitable weapon.

You glance over your shoulders anxiously as Ghost pried a board out of the fence for you to cross through the next yard.

"Go on," he demands.

You don't even stop to think as you slip through the gap. Ghost following closely behind. You pause letting him get in front of you.

You continue through the backyard. A nice suburban area filled with an eerie silence.

Ghost scales the back wall of the house peering through the windows to check if it's clear.

You are lost in thought looking up at the tree house perched in the large oak in the corner of the yard.

Ghost works at opening the sliding glass door. He gets it open and glances your way. He clears his throat gaining your attention once again.

"If you're going to stick with me then keep your mind right."

He scolds. You give a small nod and follow him into the house. Ghost's gun is at the ready as he peers around each corner in a loose stance, ready for anything.

You stand back waiting for his okay like you had the many houses before. You couldn't help feeling like you were walking on eggshells with him.

Ghost re-emerges from the living room letting his gun fall to his side.

"Downstairs is clear. Raid the kitchen, I'll check upstairs."

You follow Ghost's orders heading straight into the kitchen. It is quiet as you search through the cupboards. There were just some plates, and cups in the first few above you so you decided to check the lower ones.

As you were crouched below the sink you heard a shuffling come from behind you.

You suspected it was just Ghost coming back down.

"Anything good?"

You ask still rummaging through a cabinet of cleaning supplies.

There was no answer.

A cold, wet, hand places itself on your shoulder. You turn, faced with the corpse of an old man. His bloodshot eyes and greying skin left your stomach in knots.

You let out a scream falling to the linoleum floor in panic, scrambling back away. You tried to grab the knife from your pocket but had no time before the man lunged forward his weight falling over you. You put your hands up defensively, pushing the man's shoulders back trying to keep him at least an arm's distance away from you.

He snarls, snapping his teeth at you, his limp body squirming over you.

You let out a frustrated cry, using all of your strength to keep the corpse at bay.

Heavy footsteps bolt down the stairs, Ghost, having heard the struggle, comes quickly to your aid. His eyes were dark and focused. He pulls the mall up by the back of his tattered tee-shirt sinking the blade of his knife directly into the corpse's skull.

The old man falls lifeless to the floor. His body hit the ground with a thud.

Your chest heaved as you attempted to calm your panic. Ghost seems irritated.

"Were you Bit?"

He asks. His eyes search your body for any signs of harm. You shake your head.

Ghost seems skeptical about your response for a moment but quickly accepts it.

"This is exactly why I can't keep you around. You're clumsy and unfocused. It's a wonder that you've lasted this long."

The anger is evident in his voice. As harsh as it was Ghost was right, you weren't cut out for survival. You had no skills, no strength, no awareness.

In your mind, you look for an escape from this reality. Which sooner or later will get you killed. You need to learn to stay present and be prepared. Ghost could be the one to teach you that.

"That's why I need us to stick together."

You explain. Ghost shakes his head in pure annoyance.

"Please! I won't make it out here without you. I will do whatever takes, I can do better, I will find a way to be useful."

Ghost can hear the desperation in your plea. Ghost had always been the lone wolf type. Especially throughout these past months.

He shakes his head in frustration giving you no verbal response. Before all this, Ghost made a living saving people, sacrificing for the greater good. Things were different now, so why did he still care so much?

The both of you had continued in silence. Searching the remaining houses in the neighborhood.

You were upstairs in a master bedroom. The room was nice and put together, almost like the couple who occupied it had just gone off to work for the afternoon.

It was hard not to imagine those things. What had happened to the people in these houses that day? Who were they? What was their daily life like and what were they doing when the outbreak started?

You took a breath and made your way to the bedside table. The drawer opened with ease, everything inside the drawer was clean and untouched, unlike the rest of the room which was coated in a light layer of dirt.

You shuffle through the pile of papers, not finding anything useful. You shut the drawer and sat on the edge of the bed. There was a photo on the nightstand of a man and a woman on their wedding day, looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

Ghost comes into the room,

"I found you a pistol. The noise would draw too much attention so, you should only use it in necessary situations."

You don't respond to Ghost. He waits a few moments before coming around the bed.

"Y/n?"

His voice was soft. He seemed concerned, which was strange considering how unemotional Ghost had seemed.

"Please,"

The words are hardly audible. You turn to face him eyes glassy with tears.

"Don't leave me to die."

Your voice cracks on the last word and the flood of fear and sadness wash over you. You had been referring to an earlier conversation with Ghost.

He watches you with a sigh as you sniffle, feeling guilty but, Ghost kept his ground. He hadn't begun the outbreak alone, and he wasn't going to be responsible for anyone else's safety again.

"Y/n, we talked about this. Once we are past the city, I will help you get settled and be on my way. If I was leaving you to die, I'd have taken off by now."

Each word built up the annoyance inside him. He was tired of arguing with you about it and felt he was being fair in helping you for these few days. Ghost didn't appreciate how guilty you had been making him feel when he was trying to do the right thing by preparing you for survival.

You shake your head and stand up. Up until this point you'd kept quiet hoping you could change his mind by obeying but, it was clear now he had no intention of budging. Ghost had made up his mind and it was starting to piss you off.

"You're pretending like you're doing me a favor when in reality, you're only helping yourself!"

Ghost's jaw clenched under the mask.

"You only got this far because I helped you." He retorts, "I could have let those men back there shoot you! Is that what you prefer? Being dead on the road?"

You cross your arm over your chest and roll your eyes looking up to the ceiling like a teenager being scolded by a parent.

Ghost scoffs at the child-like attitude.

"I am giving you a chance to live. Nobody in this world owes you a goddamn thing, I know I sure as hell don't. So, if you feel like this is a waste of your time then get through the city yourself."

You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach.

"W-what?"

Ghost eyes narrow.

"You heard me y/n. I'm done. I tried to be nice I tried to help you, and you have done nothing but be unappreciative. I was alone for a reason."

Ghost looks down at the pistol he had found, he clicks on the safety before tossing it on the bed beside you and turns to leave.

You watch in disbelief as he stomps out of the room and down the stairs.

The front door closed with a thud and panic ensued. You bolt to the bedroom window watching Ghost continue down the street.

Overwhelming fear and adrenaline coursed through your veins, you hadn't felt like this since the outbreak began.

You were quick to pack up your things and pull your backpack over your shoulders.

Although it was rather useless to you, not having any knowledge of how to use it, you grabbed the pistol carrying it in your sweaty hand.

By the time you were out of the house and crossing the front lawn Ghost had already disappeared out of the neighborhood.

Your eyes darted around. Keeping on high alert, you began to walk down the street. You swapped the gun in your hand for the knife in your pocket as you continued, hoping to catch up with Ghost.

The fear made the situation feel surreal, you didn't want this to be happening, and you couldn't be alone again.

You hoped and prayed to any possible higher power that Ghost would change his mind, that he'd come back and apologize.

The sun was getting ready to set as you reached the outskirts of the city. It was apparent to you that it must be late afternoon by now and you hardly had a clue where to go from here. Without Ghost and his map, survival skills, and ability to navigate, you were sure you'd be dead by dusk.

You looked around for signs, anything that could tell you where you were or give you any sort of direction.

It seemed you were across from a shopping center, which you knew from any movies you'd seen of these types of survival situations, was a death wish. Yet so was the city. On foot at least, you figured a better bet would be the freeway.

You kept walking until you reached a freeway on-ramp. At this point, you'd accepted that Ghost was gone. It was impossible for you the assume which way he'd gone, where he'd stopped, and even if you could have guessed correctly what were the chances he'd still be there?

The freeway was surprisingly empty and quiet as you'd made it to the end of the ramp.

As you continued, your mind wandered to Ghost and the argument you'd had. You started to wonder if Ghost was right. Had you been that ungrateful? Were you anything more than a burden to him?

It wasn't long until you reached the long lines of abandoned cars. The eerie silence sent a shiver down your spine, you started to weave your way through the cars silently.

The area seemed to be safe. You glanced through widows as you passed hoping to find anything useful.

Finally, you stopped next to a smaller, silver car. Through the back window, you could see a couple of grocery bags. The front window was cracked, and you were able to push it down low enough to open the back door.

You sat on the edge of the seat and leaned in to search the bags. You were disgusted to see the rotten fruit and moldy loaf of bread but were relieved to find a few nonperishable items as well. You gathered what you could and continued looking.

The sun was almost set, and you had made it a few miles along. The lanes were still packed with abandoned cars.

With the sky getting dark you were getting nervous. The night would soon consume you leaving you in complete debilitating darkness. You had survived this way before, walking along roads allowing them to take you wherever they happened to end. But that had been then, in the rural parts of your small hometown. Where dangers were sparse and easily escapable.

You had been checking cars here and there for supplies as you moved forward. You had hoped by now you would find, at least, a better flashlight than the small one Ghost had given you but had no such luck.

Finally, you'd come across a pickup truck. It looked as if it had belonged to a company of some sort. In the back was a large toolbox.

You climbed up and over the tail end and into the bed of the truck. The toolbox was large and mounted onto the back end of the cab.

You lifted to heavy wooden lid and searched it.

With the last bits of remaining sunlight, you were able to make out the shape of a large hammer. Not the best weapon, but still infinitely more useful than a small knife.

Keeping the hammer in hand you pocket the knife and climb back out of the truck.

With darkness overtaking the road you decided it would be best to keep to the edge rather than in between the cars.

Your pace had become slower as you tried to keep as quiet as possible.

As you came to another passenger side window you could see the glistening of a flashlight on the dashboard. Your eyes widened, pulling at the handle frantically.

The door was locked. You slipped the hammer into your belt and walked around to the driver's side door. To your surprise, the driver's door opened with ease.

Unfortunately, the car alarm began blaring. Your heart pounded in your chest. Panicking you reached across the center console and grabbed the heavy metal flashlight.

You turned it on and searched the floorboards with the dim yellow light. There were no keys anywhere to be found.

You heard distant groans and snarls. If there was anything around right now, they were surely going to come directly to you.

You pulled yourself away from the driver's seat and began to run. Weaving again through cars. The dim flashlight hardly leads you through the road without tripping and bumping into the askew vehicles.

A corpse reached out to you from the back window of a car as you passed. Startled, you lost your balance and fell to the ground.

It fought its way out falling through the window and landing on the pavement beside you.

You reach up with a shaky hand feeling for the door handle of the car beside you. You swing the door open and climb into the back seat.

The door slams leaving the corpse to grasp desperately at the metal door with its bony fingers. Your chest heaves with panic but your feeling of safety is short-lived when a weak hiss comes from the driver's seat.

A skeletal hand reaches back between the front seats. You crawl to the other side and slide out of the car trying to steady yourself on your feet.

With the flashlight gripped tightly in your hand and the car alarm still blaring behind you, you continue to run. The weight of your backpack is starting to hurt your shoulders, but you push through the pain.

You fall to your knees, back pressed to a car. Your mind raced but you needed a plan. Where could you go from here?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of gunshots ringing through the air. A part of you was grateful someone was here to help. The other part of you feared whoever it was and prayed that it was Ghost. Although, you knew that was unlikely.

The shots continued. You turned off the flashlight and kept crouched along the cars as you moved forward.

The shots ceased and moments later so did the alarm. You froze in place crouched against the hood of a van. Footsteps approached, the crunch of glass and gravel beneath a pair of heavy boots, getting closer and closer.

There was a snarling, then the squelching sound of a knife entering flesh.

"Shit!"

Exclaimed a man's voice. A body thudded to the pavement and the footsteps continued.

That voice wasn't Ghost.

A white light shines on the ground beside you and you know you'd been caught. Your breath was caught in your throat as a pair of boots stopped on the road beside you.

This was it.

PART 3 >>

Tag list

@itsthealice

[starryficsfinishwen]

“I can't keep accepting your favours like this. I...need to do something in return.”

“Oh! How about this: peel this orange for me, then.”

Curiosity and confusion is evident in Chrome's face as you hold out the fruit in question in front of him.

On one particularly hot afternoon at the Strike Hawk Lounge, you are lounging in Strike Hawk's lounge, still wearing your pajamas with a few small oranges in your lap, with sleepy eyes obviously drowsy from your long nap. You are found sitting in one of the four bean bags in the room, specifically, Chrome's seat. Although the captain had no problems with that—he'd never even find any problems with you anyway— Chrome finds it endearing enough that you were handing him something that doesn't even need to do.

“Um...?”

“You don't like oranges?”

Chrome shakes his head, “No, I just...find it, quite odd. I thought you were going to ask for something hard to do, like carrying a sofa or a bed...”

“Are you kidding?” You wave your hand that held the orange, beckoning him, “Peeling oranges are hard enough! Come and sit, I have a trick to show you.”

“Is that the trick you wanted to show me?”

The hand-sized orange looks heavy, but had fit perfectly in the palm of your hand. You moved a little to have some space for Chrome to sit next to you. Smiling, you slip an identical orange in his unknowingly open hand.

“Could be!” Giggling, your fingers lightly graze the rind of the orange in his hand, “Look, peeling oranges are so time-consuming and messy at some point.”

Turquoise eyes trailed your every movement, intently studying what you were doing. Scratching the pedicel, or the top of the orange, you peeled off one part of your orange. Some juices poured out of the opening you've created, but you nonchalantly wiped it off by your arm

“You can get a lot of stains, too, if you're not careful. That's why it can be messy. Peeling the skin and the white parts off can be frustrating for me.”

Chrome understood, but as someone who had been eating orange by himself since he was young, he found it quite hard to comprehend your words. But seeing your focused eyes, he decided to keep on looking at you, nodding at your every word.

“It does seem like a lot of work.”

“Mm,” you nodded, a little grin on your lips when you've fully peeled the orange, “when I was younger, my mom would peel oranges for me, because I never liked doing it.”

He watches as you delicately pull off the white parts. Slowly, trying not to squish the orange. Carefully, trying not to spill. He watches and watches, in wonder, as the smile on your lips seems to grow brighter with your work, heat willingly growing in his chest.

“I realized,” you whispered, “that it must be love, then.”

Ah, love. The word that Chrome knew you were infatuated with, always looking for it in everything you do. It must have been interesting, for you, even when you were living in an apocalyptic world. You've had that conversation with Chrome, yet Chrome was still perplexed with your thought processes. But now, watching you underneath the lights, happily peeling away the orange, watching you smile— what was the feeling that was knocking in his chest?

“How so?” Chrome asked, leaning forward.

“Doing things willingly for someone without waiting for an exchange. You value that person a lot, so you would do anything for them, even the most mundane things.” You paused, looking at Chrome with a bright smile, “Isn't that the very value of love?”

Oh, Chrome understood you now. A little better, even.

His gaze sets in the orange in his hand, a little blush on his cheeks with the full realization of his feelings. “I see.”

“Here you go,” you proudly placed the orange in Chrome's free hand, cheekily grinning, “an orange for you.”

Oh. For once, realization hits Chrome harder than ever.

“Commandant,” Chrome said, the blush in his cheeks getting darker, “Are you insinuating something?”

You blinked at him before looking away. Amusement fills his eyes, eager to tease you as he sees your ears turn red.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Commandant, why are you looking away from me, then?” Chrome pokes your cheeks, “Hm? Commandant?”

“J-just eat your orange, Chrome!”

Chrome's smile mirrored yours, “Let me peel one for you, Commandant.”

[songsofadelaide]

"—ppy Birthday tooo yooou!" The light was dimmed and the only illumination came from the numerous candles set alight on a shiny fruit and cream shortcake, your smile as bright as the sun as your friends sang in the background. "—ke a wish before you blow the candle—"

Click.

"—toru, hurry up before the timer hits!—" "—f my life, my angel, my—" A young Satoru ran to your side and gave your cheek a big-ass smooch as countless golden ginkgo leaves rained in your background. A picture-perfect autumn ahead of a new year full of decisions. "Ahaha! Nooo! That tickl—"

Click.

"—guru, come on over! You too, Shoko! It—" Empty coffee cups were strewn across your shared table with your friends, the sound of both laughter and complaints filling the air as your friends gathered around you and Satoru, his laughter the loudest of them all. "—haha! Ack! No! W-Wait up, Kento! Satoru said—"

Click.

"Oh, so that's what you've been up to, Seiya," you said, breaking the silence that enveloped your son's bedroom as he jumped from his gaming chair and hurriedly minimized the open video player on his PC.

"M-Mom! H-How long have you been standing there?!"

"Long enough for me to know where my missing SD cards went," you chuckled at the evidently embarrassed face of your teenage son, the spitting image of his father in his youth except for his eyes— which he clearly inherited from you. "Now how did you get your hands on these?"

"W-Well, I..." Came the boy's sheepish reply, a nervous hand on his nape as he evaded your curious gaze. His embarrassed expression starkly contrasted with your husband's usual mischievousness and boisterousness, even though they shared the same long, feathery and silvery eyelashes and hair.

"You're not in trouble, dear, if that's what you're worried about," you reassured him as you took a half-seat on the handle of his chair, careful not to rest your entire weight on it. "Now let me see..."

Seiya released his mouse to you, which you used to click on the minimized video player once more. Digicams were all the rage back when you were in high school and well into college and as the only one in your friend group who owned one, you were primarily responsible for documenting every mundane and special occasion whenever you all got together.

"Oh, this was from my 18th birthday," you laughed as you clicked on the following snippets. "And this was when your father and I visited Meiji Shrine before our college entrance exams. Aaand I think this was just a regular day! We just had coffee..."

"Aunt Shoko never really stopped smoking, did she?" Came your son's query as he eyed you browsing through the aged video clips with a small smile on your face. It was clear to him that you were reminiscing now about the days of your youth, encapsulated in slightly grainy and overexposed photos and videos, yet the memories were clear as day.

"Nope. Though she does that thing now. That, uh, vaping thing? Now don't get any ideas, young man."

"I-I won't, Mom! I promise!" Seiya stammered at your slight warning. "I'm sorry I touched your things. I just thought it would be interesting... to see how you and dad were when you were my age."

Oh, but he pulls off those adorable puppy dog eyes just like his father, all right.

"It's hard to believe that he had so much time for you back then! I-I mean he's so busy now! Does he even remember to text you or at least get you a gift every now and then? I-If not, maybe we can go somewhere together? Or do something together?"

"Oh, Seiya. I'll have you know that I am very happy to be married to your father," you gently laughed at your son's little outburst, coiling your arms around his neck as he lazily rested his warm cheek on your chest. "He loves me a great deal and does so much for me. And for you, in case you've forgotten."

"I... I know," came his defeated response. "All the work he does is for us..."

"I don't think Toru is so busy that he forgets us... Do you perhaps miss your father, Seiya?"

"N-No, I don't!" The boy huffed in your arms, his brows furrowed as he attempted to hide his evidently embarrassed face yet again.

"Your father and I love you very much, Seiya," you said with a smile and a soft hum as you tenderly ran your fingers through your son's hair. You weren't surprised when he wrapped his arms around you and returned your embrace. I suppose he takes after his father in clinginess, too.

"I already know that... But thanks, mom."

[thorraborinn]

hey man, hope you're well.

bit of an arb question for ya - and i totally understand if you'd prefer to skip it because time & effort etc etc - but if you're game i'd really be interested in your thoughts on the ᛇ rune.

thanks dude, appreciate it. even if you nope the hell outta this ;)

cheers

I'm sorry that I left you on read for months. The honest truth is that at first I had trouble reigning in the scope of my response and knowing when to cut myself off from researching (there are still things I've yet to read that could influence my take on this), and then I got busy and just straight up forgot. I'm gonna give you a response that will be completely unsatisfying but hopefully better than no response.

For more on the details of the different linguistic theories about the rune that I only briefly mention below see "The Yew Rune, Yogh and Yew" by Bernard Mees.

The problem I have talking about this rune is that any examination of it produces a lot of questions, all of them very interesting, and some which call into question what we can know about runes in general. Talking about this rune is like untying a knot where every time you loosen a section another one tightens. There are a lot of people on the internet who claim to have figured it out but who have not realized that the conclusions that must logically follow are not things they're likely to accept. It's hard to talk about it at all without saying a lot. This is entirely unlike ᛈ *perþō(?) *perþrō(?) where it simply becomes a dead end quickly due to lack of evidence. With ᛇ there is an extreme overabundance of mutually-conflicting possibility, plus a history of the rune being innovated in ways that obscures how it was used prior to that innovation.

I recognize that most people who want to talk about runes on this website are mostly interested in magical/divinatory uses. For better or worse I don't have anything to say about that, but if that's what someone's into then I urge you to at least consider that the mundane aspects of a rune form the ground of speculation about everything else, and any magical/mystical speculation should at least be inclusive of things we can see and touch. And I think that if someone chooses not to grapple with the evidence, they're actually missing out on what's actually interesting about this rune.

Even giving it a single name is loaded. In text I call it "the yew rune" but thanks to the particularities of English that doesn't work out loud. There's no possibility of writing or speaking its name without making some bold assertions about linguistics, whether one knows it or not. I think the most accurate way to give it a "name" results in this entire paragraph-length sentence:

There were a few synonyms for 'yew (tree/wood)', which may have included any or all of *īwaz, *īhaz, *īgaz, *īhwaz, and *īgwaz; that may or may not have arisen by the splitting of an earlier proto-form that is difficult to reconstruct; and which had some degree of exchangeability in some places and times; and the earliest name of the rune could have been any of these but it was also identified with one or another at different times.

*īwaz informs the normal OE word for 'yew' and the Old Norse rune ýr; *īhaz informs the OE rune īh/ēoh. Sometimes they get shoved together into *īhwaz, which on the surface is just a way of abbreviating "the above explanation"*īwaz and *īhaz", but has potential to be read at face value if you're willing to grapple with some questions regarding Proto-Indo-European, Verner's Law, maybe Germanic reflexes of laryngeals. *eihwaz is a name I see a lot but which is either definitely wrong; requires either significant reanalysis of the languages it was used to write; or undermines the use of the comparative method for reconstructing rune names at all (which, hey, maybe it should be undermined, but the consequences for the rest of the runes would be significant). Sometimes when people propose *eihwaz or anything starting *ei- they are actually intentionally saying "runes are older than Proto-Germanic" which is an argument one can make but you have to actually make it, and they are usually neglecting that at that time, the word for 'ice' was *eisa- and so this doesn't actually restore balance to the runes anyway.

The next set of problems involves its use in writing. In the earliest inscriptions we have, it's used very rarely but when it is it's indistinguishable from *īsa(z), i.e., it writes /i/. Later on, it also comes to write a consonant that was probably something like [ç], the sound in German ich, which was present in some of these languages but cannot be the first sound in a word. It would actually be pretty satisfying to argue that the [ç] sound was original, and that /i/ is a later thing coming from the principle that a rune's name should start with the sound it writes. But this is the reverse of the evidence -- are we supposed to just be okay with the idea that the rune's original usage just happened by coincidence not to produce any surviving evidence for hundreds of years, and then suddenly did?

The īh rune in Codex Vindobonensis 795, c. 798 with sound value given "i & h"

It would eventually gain other sound values too, including /k/ in some Old English sources and of course it becomes (or rather, merges with ᛉᛦ into) the /ʀ/ rune in Old Norse, then a weird multifunctional vowel rune for a bit before settling on /y/ which was its main use into modern times.

Ideally, if you lined up the questions about the reconstruction of the name in one column, and the problems in what sounds it was used to write in another, you could find overlaps and find items in each column that reinforce each other; but in reality the questions tend to multiply instead.

I have some thoughts about why most of this rarely gets discussed, even by people for whom runes are an important part of their religion. I think we have a cultural predisposition to recognized systematic order and balance as a sign of legitimacy, to the point that it even overwhelms material evidence. What this rune is evidence of isn't an original cohesive and complete system (whether or not that existed), but rather of persistent intervention over the course of a thousand years -- it cannot be understood in isolation of stone, parchment, and human hands. This is anecdotal but it seems that most people who are into runes at all are really only interested in that "original" pure unadulturated state that they suppose must have been the first iteration of runes, and view everything that comes after -- that is, all actual evidence -- as valuable only insofar as it points back toward that idealized system. But not only doesn't ᛇ do that (though admittedly, one day it might, if the right theory comes along), it shows that the way people interacted with runes over generations calls into question our assumption that the other runes do provide reliable evidence for that. I think that for most people who post about runes online or even write books about runes for a popular audience, this is in such violation of common sense that they don't find it worth consideration, and generally side with whatever one of the simple theories about it they most recently read. Even among professional linguists, most attempts to explain the rune simply aren't just neutral answers, they are expressions of panic and attempts to restore order. Admittedly, a theory could still be proposed that puts all this to rest. But the way people respond now, while it hasn't, while people habitually latch onto explanations that they clearly don't understand, is still revealing of our epistemologies.

If you want to find meaning in this, I might suggest something like this. One of the distinguishing characteristics of yew wood is its flexibility and springiness (making it so suitable for bows that ýr can simply mean 'bow' in Old Norse). Whatever the rune's earliest name was (or set of names were), it was somehow seemingly set up to stay relevant a thousand years in the future. Despite being redundant already in the earliest examples we have (maybe even when it was first used??), it found new usage for writing a [ç]-like sound (presumably *īha- was pronounced somewhere in the vicinity of [iːça]). Old Norse was eventually going to need a rune for /y/, and *īwaz was set up to produce a word by regular phonological development: *īw > ý (see also *tīwaz > Týr), and it's almost creepy how they thought to preserve that name despite needing to move it to a different graphic form, given that *elhaz/algiz worked perfectly well as the name of a rune for writing /ʀ/, but lacked a y.

[Edit: I should clarify that I don't actually think there's anything unexplainable or mystical about this -- I think it's a combination of the same opportunistic innovation that is characteristic of rune use in general and a little bit of coincidence].

So basically ᛇ is distinguished by how often it's been bent and twisted and made to fill gaps that arose as a result of language change while always maintaining continuity with its earlier forms. Its name may or may not have alternated between some closely-associated variants, but it was never changed outright, unlike a bunch of others. It exhibits a plasticity that's fitting for a rune meaning 'yew,' and it was given that name long, long before demonstrating its suitability. All this can only be seen by taking the long view, looking at how it unfolds over time, by specifically turning away from an idealized, atemporal proto-Elder Futhark.

[incohorace]

i don't like any of the analyses of saltburn i've seen so far so here's my interpretation (spoilers below obviously)

at the core of the film is the way oliver’s loneliness and oliver’s desire for felix play off one another.

his desire for felix intensifies his loneliness because it highlights all the ways he is lacking – he wants felix, but does not have him, and he wants to have what felix has (friends, popularity, effortless beauty), which again he does not – he simultaneously wants felix and wants to be felix

his loneliness intensifies his desire for felix in the same way – it is because he has no one else that his obsession is so intense, and it is because he feels like a ‘loser’ that felix’s popularity is so stark in his mind

the setting of saltburn is vital in that it acts as an amplifier for these emotions, and becomes a physical manifestation of oliver’s inner turmoil.

it highlights just how much of an outsider oliver is, looking completely out of place beside the sheer luxury and scale of the place (his clothes are often awkward to contrast with the grace and opulence of the cattons, e.g. that ghastly blue flannel shirt he wore)

we also see this in the way the cattons treat him – he is a friend, but fundamentally Other and Inferior

after we discover that oliver’s family is much better off than we were originally led to believe, his being pulled towards wealth reveals itself to be less of a desire for that which he is deprived of, and more a striving for the remarkable – for intensity and passion, which he begins to link to saltburn itself – and an escape from middle-class mundanity (his thoughts, not mine!) 

the interesting part is how it affects oliver’s obsession with felix.

saltburn mimics felix in a lot of ways: he's perfectly at home and yet vaguely ill at ease with all of its pomp & archaic pride & expensive art. the house and his attitude to it mirror his easy grace, charisma and casual wealth, and how he tries to play all that down

therefore oliver’s desire for felix extends into a desire for saltburn

the entire place is built for voyeurism – the door is cracked open while felix is masturbating, seemingly on purpose; the windows are huge and easy to watch people through; the maze is entirely visible from the long gallery. everything is perfectly arranged to be admired all the time, adding onto oliver’s lust 

saltburn lets oliver feel at home (sunny, beautiful, time spent lounging in the gardens etc.) but at the same time ensures that he will always feel like an outsider or even inferior – creates this sense that what he wants is always just out of his reach, again intensifying his obsession with felix 

therefore oliver’s desire for saltburn both extends and replaces his desire for felix, and also originates from it. 

i don’t think saltburn was oliver’s original goal – while his narration certainly gives that impression, the evidence suggests that at first he was only concerned with felix 

however, his obsession extends over the course of the first half, and eventually when oliver realises he can’t have felix, he decides to take saltburn instead

we see him change and become colder, more confident and self-assured in how he acts and talks

saltburn ends up consuming him – in his mind it gets more and more tied up with both felix (the original object of his desire and obsession) and with his loneliness & desperation to fit in (the apparent root of all his fixations, and of his calculations)

thus oliver’s infatuation with felix and his deep loneliness are both twisted and distorted by the setting of saltburn into something far more sinister.

(this analysis is pretty unfinished i know and i will eventually add more it’s just. The Brainworms required me to post this)

[cidr-monologic-trials]

Okay, thinking more about your idea of 'Monokaller could have been hacked'. thing, I had more thought about it and realised a problem.

Wouldn't it be easier just to send the text from your own Monokaller than someone else's? They know that most phones can only be accessed through ID fingerprints. so stealing a Monokaller and using it to frame someone doesn't make sense if the first obstacle is the ID. Now, the Mystery Kaller has no ID fingerprints but also has no interface, making it impossible for anyone to use it to text someone. Hacking it would be an option, but that would be a lot of work and complication, having to find a computer, having to know to program, having to go through the process of something that is mundane, all just to send a text. it's incredibly overkill that it would have been easier just to send the text to Star from their own Monokaller. it's easier to hide since it's a two-way conversation. nobody would know about the text. This is why I believe that only Jenny could have sent the text, since she is a robot and likely linked herself to the Monokaller, texting as normal or at least her normal. As for the hidden icon and name, either Jenny knew about her Monokaller being missing and hid herself in case somebody search her Monokaller or Monokuma hid the icon and name to make the murder mystery interesting.

My problem with this theory resides on the fact that the Killer really wanted to protect it's identify, even going as far as to paint a sweater, so them sending the message from their own Monokaller wouldn't make sense since that would reveal their identity and get rid of the surprise element.

You also have the problem that Star would've probably suspected something if someone asked her to go alone to the kitchen in the middle of the night alone, while the message she received was not only from Jenny her best friend in the academy and also mentioned that Blossom and Bubbles would be there.

Whoever killed Star really wanted to make sure that:

A) Star was lured with a false sense of Security as to get her with her defenses down.

B) Erase any trace of their identity.

So I still stand by the fact that it wouldn't make sense for Jenny to be the killer even if she somehow managed to get out from the power draining process early.

On top of that We have the problem of the Sky mask, Star didn't have any injuries on the head so the blood has to be from the killer, as seen in his show, jenny doesn't bleed when injured, not even releasing oil, so it couldn't be from her.

And she wouldn't win anything by sending the message to lure Star towards the real killer being someone's accomplish since it has already be stated that only the killer gets to graduate.

I understand where you're coming with the Jenny send the message theory, but I really don't see how it could work given the information we have.

And I know the Monokaller being broken from the inside (like in DR1 Case 2) or being hacked doesn't have any evidence, but it also contradicts the least with the rest of evidences.

[softyforbuck]

I wonder how it feels to be safe in the palm of your hand

Fandom: 9-1-1

Words: 4,200

AO3

Paring: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Summary: The 118 receive new recruits and they're not sure if they're dating or they're really good friends. So naturally, they make a bet.

Note: This is an AU and it's my first work for this fandom, so I hope you like it. I leave the link in case anyone wants to read it on AO3, but the complete work will be also available next.

●

Eddie's life is made of changes. He's trying to accept them but he has never liked them. To him, change means that he has to live a new life, even if the change is something as mundane as buying a new brand of milk because in the market they usually go there isn't any of the brands he actually likes.

But this change is different, he is doing it because he wants things to change. He wants to work in an environment that respects him, more especially, that respects Buck.

Buck, who laughs at the silliest of things. Buck, who will go down the rabbit hole at 2 a.m. and explain everything he learns with an excitement that makes you want to pay attention. Buck, who deserved to be loved the way he loves.

So yeah, Eddie is fine with this change just for Buck.

His best friend had gone through changes for him, so there’s no second thought in doing the same.

A giggle breaks the silence that was covering the house, and the smell of bacon begins to make his wake through the rest of the rooms.

Eddie leaves behind the bathroom and walks toward the kitchen, in there the view takes his breath and makes his heart go a little bit faster, a smile in his mouth appearing without warning.

His son was sitting, the school uniform already on Chris, he was watching Buck make breakfast.

“Dad, are you excited?”, Chris asks when he sees Eddie enter the kitchen, a big smile on his face.

“What for?” Eddie asks, pretending no to know what he refers to, he moves until he reaches the coffee pot to serve himself a cup.

“Your and Buck’s first day”, the excitement in his voice evident, “Buck said that he is happy because he will meet new people”

“Yeah, I’m happy too” Eddie answers as Buck turns off the stove, sunny side up eggs with bacon on the side in the plates.

“Just remember, there’s nothing wrong in being nervous”, Chris says as he puts his hand on top of Eddie’s. His son is reciting the same words Buck said as they were on their way to Chris’s new school.

“Thanks, buddy”, Eddie deposits a kiss on Chris’ head before the three of them move to the table so they can enjoy their breakfast.

After that, they will drop Chris at his school and Buck and Eddie will start their shift at the new station. He hopes that this new change will bring good to their lives.

__________________________________________

Hen and Chim are going up the stairs when Bobby calls for a meeting. Hen suspects it may be with the fact that they’re two men down after Chloe got severely hurt on a call that left her with an impossible way to come back and Steven decided it was time to retire and floaters have been occupying their spots. So it was only natural that new recruits made their way to the 118 station.

“The chief called a week ago” Bobby starts as everyone settles in the loft, “He found two firefighters that needed a transfer so we agreed on them moving here, they will start today. I know it isn't necessary, but please make them feel welcome”

Murmurs of agreement fill the loft before everyone goes to do their chores. Hen and Chim move towards Bobby, who is heading to the kitchen so he can make the grocery list.

“So… what can you tell us from the new recruits?” Chim asks, curiosity lacing with his voice.

“Guys, they will arrive in two hours. Why don't you wait to ask the questions to them”, Bobby answers with fondness.

“At least tell us from which stations they are transferring” Hen says.

An exhalation comes out of Bobby's mouth before answering, “132”, and with that, he moves to his office, Hen and Chimney behind him.

“Uh, I heard that lately, that station is getting many complaints, even from the firefighters there” Chim says

“How would you know that?” Bobby asks as he turns.

“Well, a man has to have contacts to keep himself informed”

Hen opens her mouth because she has so many questions but she decides she doesn't wanna go there so she keeps on following their captain.

“Guys, I'll introduce you to them when they arrive, go do your chores before the bell rings” Bobby says before entering his office.

The duo just look at each other before going to sort the ambulance. After finishing they go to the loft, the TV has been left on so they sit while waiting for the new recruits.

And as Bobby said, at the two-hour mark, the captain goes to the loft to tell them that they have arrived.

When the three of them move towards the changing room, Hen sees two men. One is putting on the top part of the uniform, his black hair pulled back by gel and he is porting a small smile, shaking softly his head as he turns toward the other man. He is lacing up his boots, pausing sometimes to move his hand widely as he talks. They seem comfortable with each other, so Hen suspects that maybe they are close.

When the dark blond-haired man stands up, Bobby moves towards them. The men seemed to notice them and three things happened at the same time. One, the dark-haired man deems his smile, not in an impolite way, more of I'm being cordial way. Two, the blond smiles even bigger, excitement oozing out of him. And three, the dark-haired man moves closer and to the front of the blond, as if to protect him, which to Hen looks a little bit ridiculous, considering that the blond mas it’s taller.

“Guys, this is Eddie Diaz” Bobby says as he signals the dark-haired man, “And this is Evan Buckley” pointing now to the blonde man.

“Hi, I know my name is Evan, but everyone calls me Buck”, he says as he extends his hand in greeting.

“Well, Buck, it's nice to meet you. I'm Hen and he is Chimney” Hen says, accepting his hand.

“Chimney?” Eddie asks as he also extends his hand.

“Yeah, the name is Howard, but an interesting story got me the nickname Chimney”

“Interesting story?” Hen says after a snort that gets from her best friend a betrayal face.

After that, the five of them move through the station, Chim and Hen giving them a tour and Bobby, behind them, just contemplates his team.

Through the day, Buck and Eddie work to adjust to the team, but it’s notorious that they work better as a pair Since the first call, Hen noticed things, not only about the new member of the team, but also the dynamics of the team itself.

The first call was something so mundane as a cat stuck on a three, in their way there Buck and Chim began a conversation so they could get to know each other better, so there was the first point that Hen put on her mental list of thing to know about the newbies. Buck likes to talk, and Eddie is more of a listener, he would sometimes complement what his partner is saying but would usually let him lead the conversation.

Between the fifth and sixth call, the team had a break, so Bobby began the preparations for lunch. Hen, Chim and Eddie were sitting on the couches, the latter was turned towards the kitchen where Buck was helping Bobby. That was another thing Hen noticed, Buck likes to learn new things, he pays close attention to what Bobby is explaining, and Bobby is happy to explain it.

The second to last call of the shift was the one that brought more insight into the lives of the new duo.

“Be careful”, “Always. You too”, “Well, I’m not you so”, Eddie and Buck collided their wrists before walking to their respective places, their words were said with care, with meaning, with something Hen couldn’t figure it out yet. Not until they return to the engine. Eddie was sitting in front of Buck and they were communicating with their eyes, Eddie’s especially reflected worry and love.

Oh.

Eddie and Buck were in love and most likely dating.

She had to tell Chimney.

__________________________________________

Some weeks had passed and almost everyone of A and B Shift knew about the bet.

Yes, there was a bet around the station, regarding whether Buck and Eddie were dating or not. Most were leaning towards yes, they’re dating. No one was brave enough to ask them, they didn’t want to inconvenience the best friends in case they weren’t dating. So everyone did what they didn’t like to do, wait.

The things they knew about Buck and Eddie were accumulating, but not because they were vocal about it. No, it was because of the things everyone observed, like carpooling to work every morning or one of them always having a cup of coffee prepared for the other one. This time was because a woman visited them.

Chim was in the ambulance as Hen listed the materials when a redhead woman walks through the entrance of the station, balanced on her palms were two plates of what look like cookies.

Mark, the firefighter that was closest to the entrance, greets her.

“Hi, I’m looking for Evan Buckley or Eddie Diaz”, her sweet voice makes her way to where Chim and Hen had stopped their movement.

“Yeah, who do I tell them it’s looking for them?”

“Shannon”, it's everything she says.

“No last name?”, Mark asks her.

“No, they know who I’m”, planting a nice and big smile on her lips.

“Right, I’ll be right back”, Mark tells her before turning to the supply closet where Buck is working.

Chim climbs out of the ambulance, wanting to see who is looking for the duo, but before any of the two can utter a word, footsteps sound through the station behind them.

“Shan!”

Hen and Chim see Buck running toward the woman before enveloping her in a hug, Shannon moves her arms around him carefully, trying not to let the cookies fall.

“Hi Buck”, she says after letting go of each other.

“What are you doing here?”, Buck asks confused, but not even that let the smile fall from his face.

“I brought cookies”

“Yeah, I can see that, but I know those cookies” Buck says as he raises his eyebrow, asking a question with just his expression, one that clearly Shannon knows.

Hen observes the interaction curiously, the team hasn’t met anyone of Buck and Eddie’s lives outside work.

“I wanted to ask a favor”, she seems nervous, “Do you think I can change my weekend for some days in the week?”

“Everything okay?”, Buck asks

“Yes, it’s just that”, Shannon opens her mouth and closes it quickly just to open it again and keep going, “I have a date on Saturday”

“Really?”, Buck’s tone comes out teasingly

“Yeah”, she says softly, just as the smile she is porting now.

“Well, thanks for the cookies, they weren't really necessary, Eddie and I would’ve agreed anyway”

“I know”, Shannon says as she gets closer to Buck, “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to make cookies for one of my favorite boys”

“Do I at least make it to your top three?”

“You know you do Buckley”

Buck smiles as he takes the plates. Shannon stands on her tiptoes and gives Buck a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

“Was that Shannon?” Eddie makes his appearance behind them.

“Yeah” Buck says as he turns to face his best friend, “and she brought this”, he signals with his head the content between them.

“Buck's bribery cookies”

“I'm sorry what?” Hen inevitably asks, making the duo turn to where Chim and her are standing.

“Shannon always bakes these cookies when she wants a favor from Buck” Eddie answers after his laughter has calmed down.

“Not always” Buck says as he moves to the ambulance, where he offers the treats to the rest of the team.

Hen takes one and gives it a bite, she admits that those are good cookies.

“So, Shannon?” Chim asks as Eddie gets closer.

“What about her?” Eddie's voice comes out a little defensive, and his stand is more rigid than before.

“Nothing, it's just that neither of you has mentioned her before”

“She is our best friend, we've known her since we used to live in El Paso” Buck says absently, half of a cookie already in his mouth.

“Wait, both of you used to live in Texas?” surprise emanates from Hen's voice. She knew Eddie was from Texas, but Buck? He said he was born in Pennsylvania.

At the question, Buck turns his panicked look at Eddie before sprinting to the loft. In turn, his best friend just let a surprised sound fall out of his mouth before turning to Hen and Chim.

“Buck moved to El Paso when he was five years old, his family lived close to a park I frequented, that's how we met. Shannon met us when I turned eleven”, Eddie explains, a wistful smile on his lips.

“He doesn't like to talk about his past that much, so please don't pressure for information”, his eyes and voice full of the protectiveness everyone knows Eddie has for Buck.

Hen and Chim just nod and with that Eddie goes to the loft, to his best friend.

__________________________________________

Days and weeks pass, and the boys bring up Shannon more. Slowly, Buck and Eddie let other people in.

And even then, no one fully realizes how deep their bond goes until a bad call, until Eddie is screaming Buck's name, until he is debating with himself is he should follow Buck or stay with the team.

The call was to an abandoned house, fire was consuming everything in his wake to get to the bones of the structure. The caller sounded not even seventeen years old yet, he explained that he and his friends were just exploring the house when it started to smell weird, so they decided to leave the room they were in, or so they said.

When Hen and the team arrived at the location, the fire was quickly spreading through the dry grass on the front.

Bobby began with the indications, Mark and Chim will start with the hose, Buck and Eddie will rescue the survivors and Hen will wait in the ambulance to check up on the patients when they come out.

The rescue went smoothly for the most part, that was until parts of the house began to tumble down as Eddie walked past the frontal door with the second to last boy.

“Buckley, evacuate now, the house it's not stable enough”, Bobby orders through the radio.

“But there's still one missing”, Buck's voice is purposeful and Hen has heard it enough to know what it means.

Eddie turns his eyes to Bobby as he keeps on walking to the ambulance. Bobby pulses his radio, his face void of emotion.

“Buck, there's not enough time, you need to get out of the house now”

The crackle of the fire sounding even stronger before the silence on the other side of the radio.

Eddie leaves the patient with Hen before turning to the house, but Bobby holds his arm before he can take another step. Betrayal colors his face as Eddie turns to the captain. Hen distracts herself with the patient, she doesn't want to imagine why there's a silence.

“Buckley answer” Bobby says stronger, as if wanting to smother the fire with just his voice. He and Eddie take a step toward the house when the structure produces a rumble, and in the blink of an eye, most of the house gives up at the fire, preventing the exit of the living souls inside it.

“Buck”, Eddie’s scream comes from dread that was forming inside of them since the first silence. He wants to walk towards the rubble, but Bobby holds him, fire still consuming what's left of the wood skeleton.

Hen has heard that type of scream Eddie just gave again, it comes close to the type of screams a spouse gives when they acknowledge they have to keep going without the love of their lives.

She doesn’t want to turn towards the house, Eddie is still being held back by Bobby? Are Buck’s and the kid’s bodies visible now that the house fell?

She finishes her examination and turns to look at Chim, he and Mark have dulled some of the fire but it's still going strong.

Movements close to Hen obtain her attention, as she looks at the source, she sees Buck coming out of the side of the house with the last kid. Eddie and Hen move quickly towards them, she takes the arm of the kid and puts it on her neck, so she can carry him towards the ambulance, Eddie does the same with Buck, taking him to the end of the engine that it’s closest to Hen.

She moves to the side to let Eddie take supplies to check on Buck, but instead, he moves to where Chim is still working, they exchange some words and Eddie takes Chim place, helping Mark instead.

Chim walks to the ambulance and exchanges a look of confusion with Hen, expressing exactly what she was thinking, that Eddie would like to make sure Buck it’s fine, but apparently, she was wrong.

She focused on the kid, he looked scared, but other than that he looked fine on the outside, his lungs produced a small wheezing so he’ll be taken to the hospital, with that she turns to Buck and Chim, the latter doesn’t look concern so Hen lets her worry dissipates.

Chim moves to the front part of the ambulance to drive, while Hen moves the patient so he lays down with an oxygen mask on his face, someone moves the doors so they can be closed but before they do, she catches a glimpse of Bobby speaking to Buck. And Eddie nowhere in sight.

__________________________________________

After the fire is extinguished, the crew minus Hen and Chim return to the station. The trip back has been made in silence, Mark doesn’t want to be involved in anything, Bobby already talked to Buck, Eddie is mad but he doesn’t want to say something he’ll regret later so he stays silent and Buck, well Buck is staring at the busy streets of Los Angeles through the window, lost on his thoughts.

When they exit the truck, they all move to the showers to get rid of the soot and sweat. Eddie moves as quickly as he can, he is dreading a conversation with Buck. He knows that if the talk takes place now, he might confess something neither of the two is ready to hear or discuss.

After finishing his shower, he changes quickly and leaves behind the station, Eddie walks towards the jeep leaving behind the ambulance that’s just arriving.

He is fully conscious that, obviously, the talk that it is bound to happen will happen, but he's hoping to drag it out as much as he can, although that doesn’t seem possible given the fact that they carpool every day to work and live in the same house.

“Eddie wait” Buck says, his steps echoing in the asphalt.

Eddie wants to keep walking, but something in his voice just makes him stop, he could never walk out on Buck, never on Buck.

“Why aren’t you talking to me” his voice comes out vulnerable, “Did I- Did I do something wrong?”

Eddie takes a breath and keeps looking at the Jeep, “No, just forget it, Buck”

“No, I- I just want to know what did I do to make you mad”

“I’m not mad”, Eddie says, because it’s the truth, he isn’t mad, he’s scared.

“Then why aren’t you talking to me?” Buck’s voice falling into hurt, “I don’t understand why you’re acting like that”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m the worst person alive”

Eddie closes his eyes because that was never his intention, he just wanted time on his own to calm down his initial anger.

“You are not”

“Then why can’t you even look at me?” his voice revealing the confusion.

And that it’s what makes Eddie turn towards his best friend. Ocean blue eyes filling up with aching as they connect with his.

“I’m not mad, Evan” the name falling easily off Eddie’s lips, “I’m scared. Scared that today will be the last time I see you”.

Buck’s eyes begin to fill with tears.

“Because you believe that your life is less valuable than others, because you run towards the fire as in you’re part of it, because you don’t think twice before risking everything”.

At this point, their bodies are closer than before.

“Because you don’t seem to realize that every day after work you have to come back to Chris. You have to come back to me”, Eddie makes sure Buck’s eyes are only focused on him, he needs Buck to know that every word that is coming out of his mouth is true, “I’m mad because I’m in love with you and it would destroy every single cell of my body if you don’t get out of there alive”

Eddie’s heart crawls through his throat until it’s spilling in the air. Words that his not sure should be said are said. Feelings that had been simmering in Eddie’s soul for the last 20 years are now in the front, being exposed to the world.

“You love me?” it comes out in a form of a whisper.

“Yes, I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since the first day I meet you, maybe I didn’t know what it was at the time, but yeah”

Eddie’s beginning to feel nervous, Buck doesn’t say anything more, it feels like the world has stopped spinning just to witness this.

Buck takes a few steps toward Eddie, he examines his best friend’s face, as in looking for something, and in truth Eddie will give anything to Buck, he just has to mutter his name. Finally, his eyes settle on Eddie’s and Buck moves until their lips collide.

Eddie allows himself to close his eyes and enjoy something that he has been craving. He moves his hands until they are clinging at the back of Buck’s shirt, meanwhile, Buck’s hands are cradling Eddie’s face with so much adoration and softness.

They pull apart after some minutes, breaths became elaborated. “In case it wasn’t clear enough, I’m in love with you too”, Buck smiles and Eddie follows.

“Who is Chris?”, Hen’s the first to interrupt them, they take a step back but still hold each other.

“Our son” Eddie says without missing a beat, meanwhile Buck looks at his best friend surprised.

“What? it’s not like you haven’t been raising him seen he was a baby”, at this, Buck and the rest of the team are clearly lost for words.

“You have a child together?” this time it’s Bobby the one asking

“Not officially but yes, we have a child together” Eddie is the one answering, “He is also Shannon’s son”

“I’m so confused right now”, Chim says, but then he turns to Hen, “Wait, then who won the bet?”

“What bet?”, asks Buck, who moves to look better at his friends, but his arm snakes around Eddie’s waist, bringing him closer to his body.

Hen just hits her best friend’s shoulder, before turning to the duo, “We had a bet about wherever you were dating or not”

At this, Eddie and Buck just turn to look at each other, amusing and confused expressions crossing their faces, before turning again to their friends.

“So who put their money on the not dating, cus that's the one who won” Buck says

“I mean, we are dating now” Eddie responds, Buck’s and his cheeks turn red, “But, buck’s right, who won?”

“Athena” it’s the only thing Hen says, before pulling her phone out of her pants, probably to tell her friend that she won. Not noticing the little smile that now was illuminating Bobby’s face.

Buck moves his front so he’s facing his now boyfriend, “Now we can go on double dates with Shannon and Grace”, his smile is so big that makes his eyes close a little bit.

__________________________________________

Athena shares half of her winnings with Bobby, after all, he is the one who told her the information on their files, Eddie was marked as divorced and Buck as single, although they had their doubts. Athena said that if they were dating, they would have been closer, if is even that possible.

When they tell the news to Shannon, she pulls both of them in a hug and says, “It’s about time”. Chris joins the hug and tells them that he thought they were already dating given that they live in the same house, drawing a laugh out of Buck and Eddie. Everyone thought they were dating, their love for each other was that evident to everyone except them.

Good thing they are now together.

[krawlernyannyan]

The fun part about theorycrafting is that every one in a while you get an absurd thought in your head that you know, instinctively, isn't correct, but you start connecting dots anyway because bad theories can still lead to greater truths, and once you start connecting dots you have the moment of "Wait this might actually explain a lot?"

My crack theory for the night is this: Something Unto Death didn't actually kill Robin. Robin's killer...was herself.

Points of analysis to explain myself:

If we assume Firefly and Robin were both killed by SUD, there's a key difference between how we see Firefly die and how we see Robin's body - that is, we see Robin's body. She left a corpse. Firefly exploded into dream bubble paste instantly before she even had time to hit the ground, yet Robin's body was evidently lying around long enough for Aventurine to find it and show it to two other people at different times before it finally evaporated. This theory provides a pretty straightforward answer to this question - the bodies are in different conditions because there were two different causes of death.

The location of the body is also suspect. Both times we see SUD, it's in wide open spaces, which is intuitive because it's a massive monster and it needs room to maneuver. Why, then, is Robin's body lying in the middle of a hotel room? Would SUD really cram itself into that small of a space just to kill someone? Now, there are some possible mundane answers here - SUD could've possibly just teleported a part of itself in, or Aventurine could've just moved the body from somewhere else, but neither of those really cleanly answer this question. By this theory's line of thought, where Robin died wouldn't matter, even if SUD has to find you and kill you itself, because she could theoretically take her own life in any location she saw fit.

What exactly was Robin - interastral pop superstar Robin, pride of The Family - doing alone in the middle of the primal dreamscape? Given how important she is to the optics to the Charmony Festival, you'd think she'd have a 24/7 security detail or, barring that, someone with authority like Sunday keeping an eye on her, yet she managed to sneak off into an area that is largely outside of The Family's control? What if the reason she was there was because she was deliberately trying to get out of The Family's sight so they couldn't stop her?

It's stated multiple times that death shouldn't be possible in Penacony; in the game's own terms, "It's the promise of The Family and the blessing of The Harmony." Even a Memokeeper can't circumvent that...but what about a member of The Family? What about a tuner who can channel The Harmony, and demonstrated that ability earlier in the story?

While Sunday's lines in the epilogue would point to "death" being the culprit in both cases, I'd like to raise the following counterarguments: [A] It's possible he just got bad information and naturally came to the same conclusion we did about how Robin died; [B] Likewise taking the information he's been given and mentally blocking out the possibility his own sister chose death for herself because who would ever choose to believe that if they didn't have to; [C] He knows for a fact he's talking to Sparkle from the start of that scene since he already knows Robin is dead, and could be deliberately skewing his words to keep the truth of the situation from getting out into the public.

This isn't a complete theory - I'll admit as much. If you're looking for an idea of what she did to inflict spiritual death on herself, or why she would want to do something drastic like this: I'm sorry, I don't have them. Maybe the combined stressors of celebrity life and the threat of The Family re-establishing control over her after she'd left them drove her over the edge. We are only a third of the way into the Penacony story and there is very little we can dig into about Robin, before or after her death.

However, if you think this idea is "too dark", that it's "too depressing" and they'd never actually do it: I get it. I came up with this idea and, frankly, I still don't think it's what the real answers are going to amount to. But I think it's a possibility worth some consideration, and I'd like to present one more piece of evidence to my case. This is the one that got me on this train of thought in the first place:

On Penacony, the theme of suicide and self-annihilation are pervasive and constant. You can't go two sidequests without seeing it in some shape or form: Lew Archer, throwing herself off buildings; IV, threatening to do the same; Leslie Dean, an imaginary being, ending his own existence for the betterment of the people who created him; Sparkle, symbolically killing herself over and over by making herself the victim in murder mysteries she creates; even Tizocic II, who erased her life once by wiping her own memories, then, when she got them back, chose to return to her homeworld for what could only be her own execution. There's even more examples I could list, but you get the gist. An entire planet of people, destroying themselves and the lives they've built up, all in the hopes there's something better on the other side.

I would be incredibly surprised if that theme doesn't translate itself into the main story sometime in the next two updates. Maybe it's not via Robin specifically, and there's something much worse lying under the surface in Penacony. Right now, though? We've been given a murder mystery, and murder mysteries are never straightforward when it comes to their victims. It would be very on-genre to make us think a certain Memory Zone Meme did it, right after we saw it kill someone else, only for them to pull the rug out under us.

[skaldish]

I'd like to push back a little, if I may, on the idea that faith is not part of heathenry (I'm not heathen myself, but polytheist and "don't have prescriptive beliefs" is actually a part of my approach so).

A big issue with the divine is that it is... Well, a bit mercurial. No one seems able to get consistent, replicable results. The great amount of religious experiences seems to show something exists, bit nothing more, and very rational and scientific people will disagree with even that.

A hardline believer who's very open to the spiritual might never experience anything, and a hardcore atheist might someday have a bonafide mystic journey that 100% confirms everything.

And a lot of people will experience the divine, but never in ways that can be seen as clearly confirming it. Emotions or coincidences that very well could be divine, but might also just be the world as it is. Yes of course, discernment can help with that, and knowing your own voice. But it never precludes the mundane possibilities, just renders them less likely.

Ultimately I think dismissing faith privileges the mystic. To get anywhere near the certain confirmation some pagans have of the gods existence takes years of mystical practices like astral stuff, like clairsenses, etc. Most will not talk to gods and will not be called by them. Even for those that do, the gods might simply not give any confirmation. They need to make the active choice to be religious if they want to be without any certainty.

I don't think it's useful for these people to then go "ah I think the gods are real but that's just a hypothesis." It just leads them to eternal, unsatisfying doubt. A lot of people need to be able to trust, to some extent, that when they do the ritual and the prayer, the gods and spirits are there listening to them. Otherwise what's the point of being religious? That's where the leap of faith comes in. Saying "I don't know if this is real, but it's useful to me to act like it is." That's faith, imo.

I also think discounting faith enables bad religious behavior. I've seen many smart christians who have come to the conclusion that christianity is the empirical truth that others need to be led to. They don't acknowledge that others can come to the completely opposite conclusion rationally. Similarly there's many pagans that clown on monotheists cause "we know our gods exist!!" There's a humbleness in acknowledging that you believe what you believe on faith, that there is an element of uncertainty you shoulder past.

I should specify that there's a difference between "faith" and "capital-F Faith."

The former is exactly the explanation you gave: Choosing to believe in something because it's useful for you, even if you're not sure it actually exists. I totally agree that this is a perfectly reasonable outlook to have. In fact, it's kind of required for subscribing to any philosophical model, not just ones that pertain to deities.

This definition of faith is not the definition Mormons or Evangelicals learn. They learn the latter thing, which is Faith.

Capital-F Faith is the act of believing in something despite any and all evidence to the contrary. In fact, being exposed to evidence is typically interpreted as God's (or the Devil's) way of testing your conviction. You can't take partial measures; if you're not 100% convinced God is objectively real and that Jesus is objectively the messiah, then you've strayed from the path of righteousness and now your immortal soul is at risk.

Capital-F Faith is something Heathenry doesn't have, nor should it, because not only is it a form of dogma (which Heathenry doesn't really have), but a tool for thought-control and brainwashing. It's the kind of self-indoctrination behavior found in high-control groups.

The asker was ex-mormon, so I assumed they were talking about Faith as opposed to faith.

[ohtobeleah]

AAAHHHHHH LEAH YOU CANT LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THAT WITH TERMS OF ENDEARMENT!

You know I can anything I want right? because I can and I will leave you on yet another cliffhanger. Masterlist is linked here.

WARNINGS: Mentions of graphic domestic violence issues. Heavy and mature theme of domestic violence ahead. Do not read if you aren't comfortable reading about those issues. (Please also keep in mind this is not me glorifying abuse, but highlighting the long-term effects that domestic abuse can have on those directly exposed.)

***~***~***~***~****~***~***~****~****~****~****~

It was meant to be a holiday to the California Coast, something to break the day in day out mundane routine of home. But you felt somewhat naive to believe that while on holidays things would be any different to what they were at home. If anything? Things were much much worse. On holiday on the California Coast was where your final straw was pulled. You had to escape, you had to leave because the signs were all there, written in bright red ink. You were fighting for your life now, for your daughter's life, no more games or tolerance. 

“You can cancel my bank cards, you can push me around, you can beat me black and blue but you will never win because I don't love you anymore!” You shouted as you stood on the opposite side of the king bed that Jaidyn did. Putting something between you so that he couldn't lungs at you. “The only mistake I ever made was staying this long, not speaking up and telling everyone the truth.” You knew threatening him wasn't the best idea, but you wanted him to know that at this moment you weren't afraid of him although deep down you were terrified. “I kept my mouth shut because I thought that's what a good partner did–I didn't want any of this to be true so I stayed silent–I kept quiet!” You chuckled softly to yourself in disbelief that this was your life, that you'd put up with this abuse for so long because you thought that this was love, that this was as good as you were going to get, that this was all you deserved. “I don't think you ever loved me, if you did you wouldn't treat me like a hostage! A slave that you can just take and take and take from!” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Jaiydn hissed as he tried to make his way to you only for you to step back and move around the bed. “Just you wait until I get my fucking hands on you your stupid bitch!” He spat, anger evident in his eyes as he balled his fist and pointed at you. “I’m gonna kill you–” Again, you just chuckled almost maniacally, shaking your head because it was now or never. 

“But not anymore, I am leaving! I am taking my child! I am walking out this goddamn door and I swear if you try to stop me I will scream and I won't stop screaming!” 

It didn't matter how much you screamed in the Air BnB, no one was coming to help you. Jaiydn had called your bluff and completely decimated you. He beat you black and blue until your ribs were broken and your eye socket was shattered. You screamed so loud you eventually lost your voice. That only made it easier for him to have his way with you–against your will because without a voice how do you say no? 

“One more sip for me darlin.’” He cooed as he tipped your chin up and poured the burning liquor down your throat. The bottle nearly empty as you laid bloodied, beaten and bruised between Jaidyns legs. “Good girl.” You swallowed, crying, a gentle sob escaped past your broken lips as you coughed at the sting of a drip running down your chin over lacerations. “See? Isn’t it just so easy to do as your fucking told instead of being a physotic cunt?”

Drunk, Jaidyn pushed you into a heap on the floor as he got up. Kicking you in your stomach one final time for good measure. Smirking at the sound you made. He loved the way you looked so helpless, all because of him. 

“I'm gonna go down the road to the casino with a few buddies of mine who are in the area.” He explained as you laid with your head spinning from the amount of alcohol you'd been forced to drink in such a small amount of time. “Might even bring some of the boys back for some fun too.” He threatened. “Since you wanna act like a fucking whore, ill hire you out like one.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Jaidyn?” 

When Bradley had seen the way you paused in your tracks like you’d walked right into an investable brick wall, he knew something was seriously wrong. Unclipping his seatbelt as quickly as he could before jumping out of the car. His imminent response was to grab your daughter. No question or hesitation about it. 

“Hey slugga–” Bradley cooed as he unclipped Odette from her carseat. She was in hysterics. “Shhh you’re alright bubba, hey, none of that.” Holding her to his chest trying to soothe her worries, Bradley shut the door once he knew Dot was okay and that she was safe in his strong arms. “You’re okay darling girl, I got you.” He’d do anything for her—without question. 

“Mamma–” Dot cried out as Bradley rounded the front of the car, coming to stand beside you but just a little in front. He wanted to be a barrier for whatever had frightened you. It didn't take Bradley long at all to figure out what was going on. He was privy to your ex’s sudden appearance in North Island and despite Jake's constant taunting about Braldleys intellectual capacity–he didn't need a degree in aerospace engineering to put two and two together. The man standing before you, the man who had hit Jake's car at the T-intersection, was Jaiydn Dolan. 

“Sugar Plum oh how i've missed you!” Jaidyn beamed as he stepped forwards and tried to reach out for his daughter who seemed to recoil at his gesture. Curling her little hands into the fabric of Bradleys shirt as she clung to him for dear life. Hiding her face in the space between his shoulder and chest, her tears still falling freely down her traumatised cheeks. 

“Reach for her like that again and you’ll lose both your damn hands.” Bradley hissed as you stepped a little further behind him. He’d never seen you like this before, so closed off and scared. He’d remembered quite well how quiet and in your own shell you were when he’d first met you–but it was nothing like the display he was seeing now. You were beyond that of terrified. “You hit my friend's car, I'm gonna need your insurance and stuff to get the damage covered.” Bradley puffed his chest as your ex eyed him down. “Unless you want me to call the cops and have them come down here?” Jaidyn smirked, it made you feel sick to your stomach when he turned to look at you hiding behind Bradley's left shoulder. 

“So this is who fell for your fucking bullshit huh?” He chuckled wildly as he stepped back, spitting a glob of spit and blood out of his mouth. It looked as if he’d been a victim of his own airbag too. Rooster still had blood dripping from his nose, it stained the hairs on his moustache an orangey iron colour. Yours did the same, only the blood that ran down went strain into your mouth. Both having been victims of the force of those airbags. “She's a trainwreck man, drags whoevers around her down into the dirt.” Jaidyn thought he was being smart, degrading you in such a public way. Bradley wasn't going to stand for it, turning to face you as he passed you Dot. “Bitch took my fucking daughter away from me.” 

“Brad–” You tried to protest but your voice was caught in your throat. Soft and barely audible. Rooster could see it in your eyes–you knew just how bad of a situation this was, probably more so than Bradley could understand himself. But like Pete had told him, he had to protect his family. 

“Take Dot.” Passing you your daughter, Bradley kissed the top of your forehead. Suddenly nothing else mattered more than keeping her safe, it was the very reason you had run in the first place. “Walk to the park across the street, call Jake–tell him what happened.” Rooster was a rather happy go lucky kinda guy. He’d always found a way to make you laugh, make you smile. But right now? His voice, the tone he projected—had never sounded so serious. 

“I don't wanna rui–” 

“You could never ruin Christmas.” Bradley knew what you were going to say before you even finished your sentence. “Go, call Jake, get her out of here–once you’ve called Jake I want you to call Penny and tell her we need a ride, can you do that for me?” Bradley asked as he cupped your face–you were too busy looking over his shoulder. “Hey, Y/n? Look at me.” You snapped out of the haze that had clouded your gaze, looking Bradley in the eye as he got down to your eye level. “I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.” 

When Jaiydn had left, you used the phone in the Air Bnb to call a taxi, specifically requesting a female driver. You knew it was a long shot but you thought you could appeal to her natural instincts. 

“Come on baby, Mums okay–” You cried as you stumbled out the door and sat on the curb waiting for the taxi. “I've got you baby.” Dot had been screaming the entire time Jaidyn was laying into you. She was so scared, the little girl locked in a room all by herself for at least two solid hours. “I'm so sorry, but we’re going baby, we’re okay.” You weren't sure who you were trying to convince at this stage, you or your daughter. But as the taxi pulled up you knew you only had once change. 

“Ma'am are you alright?” The taxi driver asked as she rolled down the passenger side window as you stood. 

“I don't have any money.” You needed her to understand that first and foremost. “But I need to get to forty nine Wallows Street, North island.” Jake's address, he’d given it to you a few weeks ago before Jaidyn took your phone. “If you don't take me? He’s gonna kill us both.” You tried to remain strong, keep your shoulders squared and your chin held high. But you'd never felt more broken. “My partner is gone but he’s coming back and if I'm here when he gets home he's going to kill us.” 

“Did he do this to you?” She asked, you could tell by her eyes she was thinking about the pros and cons of getting involved in a situation like this. So you nodded, confirming her question as you held your daughter on your hip. The taxi driver whose name you later learn was Mary, could smell the alcohol on you as you stood outside the taxi. “Well alright then, get in.” 

“Thankyou–” You sobbed, opening the back door and sliding in. “Thank You so much.” Reaching out for her shoulder, Mary cupped your hand in response. 

“I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.” She smiled at you through the rear view mirror. “North Island it is.” 

“Y/n?” Bradley rubbed the pads of his thumbs against your cheek, bringing you back to reality. “You hear me? I’ve got you.” It was the most sincere thing you ever heard. “I’m not gonna let anybody hurt you ever again, I’ve got you.” Bradley Bradshaw was a born protector, he was brought up to believe that to protect those you love was the most important thing you could ever do. In what form that protection came didn’t really matter, but right now in the moment he stood between you and your ex he knew that he’d lay his life down for you. No question, no hesitation. 

“Okay—“ You mumbled, nodding at Bradley’s reassurance that he had your back. “I’ll ring Jake, then call Penny.” You didn’t want to hang around for too much longer, lingering in the presence of the man who tried to kill you made you feel sick. “I’ll be in the park.” 

“I’ll be right behind you.” Bradley’s eyes never left your back as he watched you hurry off with Dot, looking over your shoulder periodically as people who stood on the corners of the sidewalks watched on at the aftermath of the moderate Christmas Day car accident. Knowing nothing deeper than what it was on the surface. 

“Till we meet again sweetheart, I'm so glad I finally found you!” Jaidyn barked with a sinister smile. Waving you off as Bradley turned his attention back to your ex. “You know we’re engaged right?” Jaidyn taunted Bradley as he stood there thinking of all the things he wanted to do to him. If he could, without consequence, Rooster would put Jaiydn into the dirt. But he couldn’t. “Got her the prettiest ring and everything—so ungrateful—“ 

Choosing to ignore the revelation that you had been engaged, knowing it was most likely against your will, Bradley balled the fabric of Jaidyns t-shirt into his first and pulled him close. 

“Listen to me because I'm only gonna say this once.” Gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw until the vein in his neck popped, Rooster saw red. He saw the man who had hurt you, who you trusted to take care of you, who betrayed every level of trust there was to break.“You even so much as think about looking at her the wrong way ill fucking kill you–do you hear me?” 

“I don't even know who you are, man! lay off–” Jaidyn shoved at Rooster's chest as he stepped back. “She’s got you all convinced she’s some damsel in distress hasn't she?” With one swing, Rooster's fist was connecting with Jaidyns jaw, a crack as loud as thunder could be heard from those who watched on. As Jaidyns stumbled and doubled over, Rooster shook his hand, surely to bruise up nicely in the next few hours or so. But he didn't mind all that much, it would be a small sacrifice to pay to keep you and your daughter safe. Bradley wanted it known that he wasn't messing around, that he was serious and he would do anything to protect you and Odette. 

“Come near those girls–” Rooster hissed, towering over Jaidyn as he held his jaw and groaned out a pained sigh. "And I'll make sure you end up breathing through a tube.” Bradley had never felt such disrespect for someone else, but where he came from and with the men in his life who raised him right, there were only two words he’d used to describe a man who hits women. A little bitch. “And I'm not bluffing either, man.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Jake Seresin sat at his family's dining table amongst his extended family tapping his leg relentlessly under the table. His knee bounced in with anxiety as he tapped his phone screen to see if he’d missed any calls or text since having spoken to Bradshaw earlier that same morning. 

“How's everything going in your neck of the woods Jakey?” His cousin asked as she nursed her son. “You still out at North–” Before Jake's cousin could even finish her question, Jake was jumping up from his seat at the sight of your name lighting up his caller ID. 

“Hey Fe, Merry Chris–” 

“I lied.” Jake's heart instantly broke at the sound of your sobs. “I lied, we aren’t okay.” Your sobs quickly turned into a small pathetic laugh before turning right back into sobs as you sat on the bench in the park. Dot at your feet entertaining herself with a few rocks. A little girl with such creative imagination everything and anything could be a toy. She’d calmed down when she noticed you were walking over to the park. “Jaidyn–” You didn't need to finish your sentence or explain anything more before Jake was making his way upstairs to pack his stuff. 

“I'm coming home.” 

“He hit your car–” Jake frowned as he held his phone between his ear and shoulder. Packing his stuff into his suitcase haphazardly as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. “We were driving back from Penny and Mavs and he just came out of nowhere.” 

“Hang on.” Jake had to stop what he was doing for a moment as his mother stepped into his childhood room. “He hit my car as in, he purposefully caused an accident?” Jake was fuming, his face had turned a nice shade of red and he was sure his core temperature had risen a few degrees. “Are you okay?” Jake started on all the necessary questions he needed an answer too immediately before his heart exploded out of his goddamn chest. “Is Dot alright? Bradshaw?” 

“Yeah Jake.” You sighed. “We’re all alright, just a little shaken and I dunno if he did it on purpose or if it was just some fucked up coincidence but the cars fucked Jake im so sorry.” Again, Your sobs broke Jake's heart. “I'm in the park with Dot, Bradley told me to call Penny for a lift because we can’t drive the car back to yours.” 

“Where's Rooster?” Jake asked nearly panicked. He knew what Rooster could be capable of if given the chance and the right motive. “Is he not with you?” 

“He's still with the car, said something about needing to get insurance.” 

“Bull fuck he wants insurance.” Jake mumbled to himself as he threw the last few articles of clothing into his suitcase. “Listen, stay where you are, but when Roosters finished with his dick measuring contest, don't you dare leave his side, you got it?” Jake couldn't see you but he knew you nodded in response. “I’ll be on the first flight back–” 

“What?” You heard Jake's mother in the background, but for once in your life you wanted to be selfish, you needed Jake to come back. Come home. You weren't going to tell him to stay in Texas when you needed him here with you and Dot and Bradley in North Island. “What do you mean you’re going back, what's going on?” 

“I got a family emergency.” Jake explained and your heart melted for a moment amongst the chaos. “I gotta go home ma, end of story.” 

“All your family is here Jake, what do you mean a family emergency!?” You really didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you could hear everything loud and clear over the phone. 

“Not everyone ma, I've got family in North Island too and something just happened, I gotta go home, end of story alright.” 

“Jake?” You whispered as you watched Dot entertain herself. “I really am sorry, for everything–” 

“Nothing to be sorry about, I'll see you when I get home.” There was nothing else to discuss, it was an open and shut conversation. Jake hung up before his mother could figure out who was on the other end of the line. Watching like a hawk as Jake zipped up his suitcase. “I really do have to go, I'm sorry–I'll just have to make it up to you another time?” 

“It's Christmas Day Jacob.” Jake's mother couldn't have been more disappointed even if she had tried to hide it. Not like she was through. “What am I supposed to tell your father?” 

“Exactly what I told you” you and Odette were Jake's family. He’d already beaten himself up enough for letting you stay with Jaidyn for as long as you did, but he didn't know how bad it had gotten because you were just so bloody good at hiding it. He should have known something was wrong when you’d stopped returning his calls and text a few months before you showed up on his doorstep in the middle of the night. He couldn’t take what he didn’t do sooner back—but he had a chance to do something that mattered now: 

“That I have a family emergency.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Penny and Mav are on their way.” By the time Rooster had made his way over to you in the park, you were a shaking mess. “Said they wouldn’t be too long.” Coming to sit beside you, Bradley didn’t draw you close. He didn’t wrap his arm around your shoulder or kiss your cheek like he normally would. Instead, he just sat beside you—waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to be touched. “Jake said you were having a dick measuring competition.” Bradley’s lips turned into a small almost unidentifiable smirk as you turned your head to look at him. “He’ll be on the first flight back.” 

“You reckon he did it on purpose?” Bradley asked as your eyes fell to his hands, his knuckles were a nice shade of red. Bloodshot capillaries had started to form some subtle bruising, a light dusting on dried blood had formed a thin layer on top of the cuts. Reaching out to take his hand in yours, you turned your attention back to Dot who was happily collecting different coloured leaves as she waddled around close by. “Kinda seems like it was premeditated.” 

“Oh, oh no he definitely knew it was us in the car, which makes me wonder how long he’s been following me.” It was a terrifying concept to think about. How long had Jaidyn had his eyes on you? How long had he been in North ISland for and more importantly, did he know where you were living? Did he know where you and your beautiful daughter had been staying since you ran. Did he know that the lock on Jake's front door was slightly broken and sometimes doesn't lock properly?  “Bradley, I can't stay here.” 

“I figured you’d think that as much.” Rooster knew this conversation was coming. He knew it was going to have to be one he had with you the minute he saw you standing there looking as if you’d seen a ghost. With his knees on his knees, Rooster watched Odette as she flew off with the fairies, in her own little imaginative world, so blissfully unaware of the imminent danger that loomed for you and her alike. “Let's be rational about this though.” 

“If he’s here? you aren’t safe, Jake isn’t safe, my daughter isn’t safe—“ You were once again putting everyone around you before yourself. “It was so selfish of me to bring you into this.” Wiping away your tears, Bradley brought his arm up around your shoulders as you fell into his chest. Crying. “I never should have let me guard down and I never should have let you get close, because he’s fucking right, I drag everyone down around me.” It broke Braldey heart to see you like this, a woman with such a fire and grace repressed to such a level of self worth it was basically non-existent. “I can't let you get involved with him, he's too dangerous.”

“I think you’re forgetting that I want to be here.” Bradley wasn’t going to argue with you, he knew that would do any good. He knew if he told you to stay that that could come across like he was forcing you to, you were your own person. Beautiful and brilliant in every way. He didn't ever want you to feel trapped with him, that you couldn't make your own choices in life. But he needed you to know truthfully and wholeheartedly that he'd cross oceans and move mountains for you. “So if you’re thinking about running again, just know—I’m coming with you.” 

“What?” You asked as you sat back up, rubbing your running nose on the back of your sleeve. Dried blood that had remained in your nose seeping out as you cried. It wasn't all that attractive, but nevertheless Bradley reached out to wipe it all away with the cuff of his jumper.  “Why would you do that? Your whole life is here?” 

“My whole life is sitting right next to me.” Bradley cooed. “So if you wanna go, we’ll go, but hear me out alright?” You simply nodded in response. “If you keep running every time he catches up? Are you ever gonna be able to move on?” 

“He’ll kill me if I stay.” It was a fact as immutable as gravity. “You and Jake playing heroes and getting the rulers out and saying I'll be safe when I won’t be won't change anything because he's psychotic!” It was one of the biggest contributing factors as to why you hadnt reported Jaidyn to the police when you had so many chances to. 

“What would change if you left now and he just found you in the next town?” Bradley asked as calmly as ever, knowing it was a fact that wouldn’t change if you ran. “If you run he’ll just find you again and you’ll forever be stuck in the cycle.” 

“It's just a high price I'm willing to pay to go free.” You replied, sitting with Bradley in the middle of the park. “Listen Bradshaw.” You smiled, reaching out the cup Bradleys cheek, a light scruff against his cheek tickled your palm. “I really like you, like a lot.” You wanted to say you loved him, truly. But it just wasn't the right time. “You're probably the only man who's ever gonna look at me the way you do and I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me and Dot.” 

“I sense a but is coming.” Rooster chuckled as he leaned into your touch. Admiring you like a love sick puppy. Not trying to hide his admiration for you in the slightest bit. 

“But you’re too good to lower your standards for me.” It left like someone had pulled directly on the strings of his heart. A sharp pain resonating deep in his chest when you said that you thought you weren't good enough for him. 

“Too bad–” Bradley shrugged as he pulled you closer, letting your head fall against his shoulder. “Listen to me okay, because I just dont think it's sinking in.” He wasn't going to let you live a life where you thought you were less than others.

“You're gonna get caught in a mess you won't be able to get out of, Rooster, now that He’s here I can't even begin to imagine the havoc he’ll cause.” Bradley knew you were going to put up an honest fight, it was in your inherent nature. You’d been doing that since day one so to expect any less than a solid conversation at the very least wouldn't be his own fault. Mentally cracking his knuckles and neck, Bradly settled in for a fight, ready to plead his case. 

“Why don't we stop talking about your ex for five minutes and talk about you?” It sounded firmer than he probably meant it to come across, but nevertheless you sat up a little straighter and frowned your brows. 

“Okay.” Hesitancy laced your tone and Braldye immediately softened next to you. He knew this whole situation was hard to be in and would be even harder to navigate. But lucky for you he was pretty good at working a GPS. 

“Your Ex can get–” Before Rooster could get into his novel of a statement as to why he thought you should stay, Dot was leaning against your legs with a pouty bottom lip. 

“Mamma, I wanna go home.” She cooed with tired eyes as her little fist came up to rub at them. It melted your heart as you picked you up. Cuddling her, fixing her hair. Kissing her cheek. She was everything to you. 

“I know baby I know, me too–but we’re just waiting for Penny and Pete.” 

“O’Tay.” Dot replied softly as her gaze turned up at Bradley. “Can I sit on your lap Toosters?” She asked politely. It still amazed you how quickly she’d grown attached to Brdley Bradshaw. It frightened you a little because what if this just didn't work out? Again your daughter would go without a father figure in her life. Not that you were insinuating Bradley was, but he was surely doing a hell of a lot more than her biological father ever did. 

“Sure Baby, here.” Bradley reached out and took Dot from your lap, gently placing her on his as he bounced his knee to rock her gently. She was exhausted. A little girl in a big scary world. Once Dot had settled in Roosters lap, his arms encapsulating her, he turned all his attention back onto you. “Now as I was saying, enough about that pissant.” He started. “I wanna life with you Y/n I don't think I could be any more clear about that.” 

“You're stupid if you think a life with me is worth fighting for.” You chuckled at the sentiment although it made you blush. It made you feel all fuzzy inside. Even while you were staring down the fact that your very dangerous, very unpredictable ex was now in town, Bradley Bradshaw still found a way to make you smile. 

“Okay, you can definitely hold back a little on the degradation there.” He laughed as Dot cuddled into his chest a little more, sucking her thumb as her eyelids fluttered. Listening to the lub dub rhythm of her Toosters heart. “You and your daughter have been nothing but a blessing since you moved here, and it's not my fault you made me fall in love with you, so technically you're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're stuck with me because I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“But what about–” You tried to argue, you just weren't used to being loved. Being wanted, being needed. Bradley couldn't blame you, he hated to compare you to a dog but it was like he'd rescued an abused dog from the shelter. At first they'd be a little standoffish, but soon enough they'd realise they're loved and in a safe place. A home. It was the same premise with you, he just needed to work you over, brick by brick. 

“Fuck your ex Y/n, fuck him!” Bradley scoffed. “He doesn't get to dictate your happiness or what you do with your life or who you choose to love or don’t love or where you live.” You sat silent next to Rooster as he rocked your daughter to sleep. You caught yourself for a moment falling into a daydream where you and Rooster could just play house, be happy and in love without all the drama and fuss. “He doesn't have a claim to you anymore and if he tries to mess with you? If he tries to come near you or Odette or so much as breathes in your direction, there's not a single thing I wouldn't do to protect you both.” It was a massive sentiment. You’d never ask Rooster to fight your battles for you, but knowing he would willingly meant a whole lot to you. More than he’d probably ever know. 

“I think Penny and Pete are here.” You sighed softly as you saw the silver sedan pull up to the curbside. 

“Don't change the subject Y/L/N.” Bradley smirked as he eyed you off, never taking his eyes off you for a moment. “So, if you wanna go, we’ll go and we’ll pack whatever you need and we’ll leave tonight.” Standing up, Rooster readjusted Odette to his hip before holding out his hand for you to take. Helping you stand from the bench you'd been occupying. “But–if you wanna stay? You’ll be surrounded by people who love you and who care about you and who just want you and this beautiful daughter of yours to feel safe and loved.” You weren't necessarily ignoring what Rooster was saying as you walked side by side slowly through the park, but you weren't directly answering his questions either. 

“Jakes just gonna tell me i'd be crazy to leave isn't he?” You shook your head as you let out a frustrated groan. “Fuck this is such a mess–” 

“Oh yeah big time.” Rooster agreed with a nod, pressing his lips together in a firm line as he slung his arm around your shoulder. “He’ll probably handcuff you to the dresser too if you say you wanna leave, but I think we’ll have a solid few hours to remove all the handles from all the draws he could possibly cuff you to before he gets back.” Laughing together as you approached Penny's car, you thought for a second what Rooster would think of Jake if he knew how you and Jaidyn originally got together. You knew Jake hated himself for it, still to this day he’d mention from time to time just how sorry he really is. He blamed himself for everything you'd ever been through. 

“I can only imagine the foul as fuck mood hes gonna be in when he gets home.” 

“That sounds like we’ll be here when he does get home?” Bradley raised a single brow as he walked with you over to Penny's car. Holding a sleepy Dot on his hip. “And well, honestly he has a right to be pissed– I mean, no man should get away with what he's done to you Y/n.” 

“Yeah, but it's not just that.” You sighed as you stopped in your tracks, wondering if you should even tell Bradley what you were about to tell him. 

“Then what?” He asked curiously with a puzzled expression plastered across his face. You pressed your lips together knowing it wasn't all that deep but still gave Bradley another puzzle piece to play with. Letting him in a little more each and every day. Letting him decided for himself if he should stay or if he should hightail it the fuck out of dodge. 

“Jakes the one who set me up with Jaidyn in the first place.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~******~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt t @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox04 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87 @akalei349 @notjustsomeblonde @americaarse

[goldenworldsabound]

gimme coffee shop, college, fake dating, and crossover for THE BOY CLAYMAN >:33c also i see that ur blog is now clayman themed hehe i love it

I owed it to him at this point to Claymanify the blog fkjdashfkjdsa

AIGHT LET'S GET TO IT

[COFFEE SHOP] - How many AU's do you have between all of your f/o's? What are they?

I answered this earlier but for Clayman I have quite a few as well!!!

College AU

Modern AU

Clayman is a magical cat AU (I love my cat AUs fkjhdsa)

Rich Bitch Trio counts here

Magical Western AU

True Dragon SI AU

Clayman is the Self Shipper AU

I think that's all of them fkdjsahfkjdsa

[COLLEGE] - What is your most developed/fleshed out AU?

Well funny you should say that it's swiftly becoming College AU, though all of these are pretty damn fleshed out. But College AU also includes a ton of other characters and it's just so FUN I love it, I'm sure I'll end up writing for it eventually fkjdsahfkjds

[FAKE DATING] - How would a reverse/personality swap AU work between your f/o and s/i?

personality swap...HONESTLY I don't- it wouldn't be us then anymore I get very confused by personality swap HOWEVER role swap is pretty interesting! If I was the Demon Lord and he was the summoned human...it would sort of shift our personalities though because it's hard to be cocky and smug the way he is in canon if he's...new to the world and lost. But I would be a lot friendlier than he was initially to me because I have excellent emotional intelligence (esp compared to him fkjdhfa). I think he would end up being the sort of subordinate Yamza is to him in canon - very aggressively and ready to tell everyone else how much they suck compared to me and to praise me endlessly. I let him- fkjdshafksa as for me...well, I would certainly be very confident. I'm not really super scheming myself the way he is in canon though so I no doubt talk to Laplace and Clayman and Kazalim and seek far more feedback than Clayman tends to in canon. Results in much better thought out plans until the mind control anyway-

[CROSSOVER] - Take your f/o and s/i and put them in another fandom! What happens? What do their stories look like now? Any big design changes?

Let's consider Genshin!!! His family strikes me as one that would work with the Fatui, even if they have their own goals related to Celestia...but they keep those under wraps. They have no qualms about doing dangerous or awful things. They also aren't human - maybe they're like Klee or maybe specifically Kazalim is like Klee (and part of the Hexenzirkel even) and the jesters + Clayman are homonculi like Albedo. Clayman's role would be to hold a rich and powerful position in Fontaine which he does fantastically. His Vision would be...

Electro, for the way he follows his family's plan for eternity. And also the electrical currents can be controlled to puppet others, allowing him to remain a sort of puppeteer, though this kind is far less suited for espionage and such and is more just terribly painful I imagine. But he could manipulate and control mechanical bodies perhaps.

As for my SI, in this case I suppose they would be living a mundane life in Fontaine, up until they are accused of a crime and almost wrongly convicted. Evidence that salvages their case is found last minute, but the whole experience traumatized them (yeah totally stealing from an actual Genshin SI's bg but shhh) and perhaps led to a Cryo Vision (which they use to create ice shards much like Tensura SI's "crystalline shards" and shields, and perhaps even wings though I doubt they could actually fly with them, more as an expression of art). Their belief and trust in gods is shaken - they understand now that their archon is quite fallible.

Clayman snatches them up straight away. I imagine he attends the trials at the Opera quite often and he sees how broken I become, and sees opportunity there. And the Vision. He also sees the Vision. And also sees that I'm pretty-

Anyway you get the idea, I am initially repulsed when I learn of the terrible actions his family does but I come to accept that since Clayman has already somewhat groomed me on their motives and goals and as such I begin to be able to look past all sorts of atrocities they slowly unveil to me, and before long I am committing them as well.

[shihalyfie]

The frustrating part of Adventure/02 is all the lore they did not put in the series, or extra material and we only discover through Kakudou's twitter or blog, or some recent interviews with SekiP or some old staff members.

Like, there's a ton of things we don't know!! And things released later in a drama CD or booklet which has the suspicion to being part of the backstory/hidden lore from production notes ._.

I think Adventure implied the eight digimon from Taichi's group were made with the kids' traits, so they knew who were their partners and even their names as well ... Meanwhile the new three mons from 02 had to introduce themselves, ask for their partners' names and such...

Meanwhile Wormmon... We don't know anything about him. Since Ken has a Crest, i suspect Wormmon is in the same camp from Taichi's partners -- made with Ken's kindness trait which also originated the Crest of Kindness.

Do you have any theory or headcanon for him and the said Crest?

I personally figure that the answer is probably really mundane, honestly. That's a recurring pattern with stuff in Adventure and 02; sometimes the answer is the simplest one, even if it's not entirely grand or epic. The Adventure and 02 kids were not a singularity; there were Chosen Children before and after them, all implied to go on their own adventures. We have no evidence the eight Crests seen in Adventure were the only ones made, just that they seem to be the ones that survived the attack Gennai was involved with. For all we know the could have been a part of a much bigger set made to correspond to a bunch of kids who all witnessed the Hikarigaoka incident in 1995, but only those eight survived that attack. So, likewise, there's nothing saying Ken's Crest wasn't also made around that time, or even later as an experiment afterwards.

Personally, since there are so many contradictions between Tag Tamers and the anime that you can't take them simultaneously at face value, I prioritize the anime and only draw from Tag Tamers as needed, so the version of Tag Tamers' events in my head could easily involve a Crest being involved in some way. It would explain why Ken had it on his person and used it as a power source for his base, unaware of or having forgotten its original purpose.

In the end, I think there are certain things that can only be explained by the fact Adventure and 02 were too obviously written as they went along -- even though I argue often that they had more thought put into it than they're given credit for, it doesn't change the fact that both series' plots are built on retrofits. The biggest example is probably the fact that the Adventure kids just all happened to simultaneously move from Hikarigaoka to Odaiba and attend the same school; Hikarigaoka's on the other side of Tokyo, so I can't stress enough how implausibly convenient this is. The real-life obvious answer is that the first movie and the TV series were developed separately and the TV staff had to come up with excuses to rationalize how they were in Odaiba when they used to be in Hikarigaoka, and in fact the staff struggling to keep up with contradictory movie and media mix compliance was exactly one of the reasons we didn't get a third Adventure series at the time. So the explanations are forced, and the staff knows it, so to a certain degree you just kind of have to roll with it.

That said, the Adventure novels do provide a suggestion that there is some kind of higher power beyond even Homeostasis's awareness (referred to as "God's territory"), which was responsible for pulling the strings behind things like everyone in Hikarigaoka conveniently forgetting the incident in 1995. As much as a cop-out as it may feel like to resort to that, keep in mind that the Adventure universe has always been very linked with Shinto concepts; this is of course brought up most prominently in 02 episode 33, in that Digimon and the Digital World may not be all that distinct from the world of youkai and the gods. In this case, this should not be taken as "gods" in the Christian or Greco-Roman definitions, but the Shinto concept of gods that exist in everything and could potentially be good or evil (Professor Takenouchi brings up the example of tsukumogami, or objects that become sentient after a hundred years of existence, and Survive parallels this by depicting the Digimon as "Kemonogami", or "beast gods"). So according to Adventure universe lore, the development of digital technology has allowed us to start seeing and understanding more of those things we never were able to before, but that doesn't mean we'll immediately understand everything about it as humans, and Koushirou's character arc wouldn't work if it weren't for the recurring concept that even Homeostasis and the Agents and Holy Beasts aren't entirely clear on what's going on with the world. This is also why "destiny" comes up so much in Adventure and 02; the world itself is guiding you towards something, but at the same time, it's up to you whether you want to actually fulfill that, and that's why certain "coincidences" seem to happen all the time to give the kids chances to make use of them.