#i don't like talking about my social phobia because i know its lame | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alilaro · 5 years

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it’s weird having social phobia and being an online creator at the same time.

on one hand it lets me share all my thoughts, feelings, and ideas through a platform without much consequence. i join fandoms and make friends, and people give me the confidence and feedback that otherwise i would never have in person. you get to be unique in a sea of other unique individuals.

but on the other hand, in real life doing things like sharing my artwork with another individual instantly puts me into a spiral of anxiety and manic depression. peers could say good kind things about my art to my face and i would probably burst into tears of despair and self-loathe myself for the interaction for at least a month.

but online I do this most days? and sometimes interactions do still lead to panic-ridden breakdowns, but its different, somehow. it feels safer showing things to people on the other side of the world than it does showing it to friends and family. it takes the edge off.

it's nice.

#*#i don't like talking about my social phobia because i know its lame #like im not just an introvert or antisocial—being in public and interacting with people is such a sensory overload and causes breakdowns #and im aware its dumb and makes me sound like an asshole but im genuinely terrified #thats why im of the mindset that online friends would hate me irl because i am a hysterical mess in person #being online gives me the chance to be social remotely and with some air of composure #sometimes i wonder if posting my art online is bad for me—the pros outweigh the cons so it wouldn't stop me regardless #but uploading content has triggered off breakdowns multiple times just because of how sensitive and paranoid i am #see: every time i private my blog its for this exact reason #sorry this is a rambling MESS i took my anxiety meds and im kinda high; i still can't hear anything; and im just yelling my thoughts online #personal #delete later

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movedtoprsmise · 7 years

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hope you don't mind me confessing something but I kept it inside too long lol /i had a crush on my friend for like 2 years, I don't know why tho because when I had a problem she suddenly didn't care, even normally she kinda kept the distance and now partly because of her I'm scared of people, have social phobia or something and I have nobody to rely on yaay

hey anon, i dont mind at all! in fact, you can talk to me about anything 💗

im sorry to hear about that friend of yours.. sounds super shitty and lame //: and about the social phobia stuff, i FEEL you. i used to constantly worry about people looking at me, talking to me,, everything. only recently, at some point during the last two years or so, did i come to terms with the fact that no one really cares? that sounds awful, thats not what i mean. what im trying to say is, when you’re walking down the street, its so unlikely that people will be paying attention to you rather than themselves. humans are very self-centered, as you probably know! anyway, i hope this means something idk. thank you for sharing and feel free to share again anytime or even shoot me a message if you wanna talk privately. always here for you 💗💗

#asks #anon #confession

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