#i don't think i wanna live anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dylanconrique · 5 months

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i just finished tonight's episode.... i need a long hug.

#carly lb the rookie #the rookie spoilers #i don't think i wanna live anymore #the way my heart has SHATTERED #INTO A MILLION CRYSTALIZED SNOWFLAKE PIECES #I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE WITH NO MEDICAL EXPERINCE KIDNAPPED ME AND TOOK MY HEART TO SELL ON THE BLACK MARKET WHAT THE FUUUUUUCCK #I KNOW I SAID I'D BE STRONG IF THEY BROKE UP BUT I LIED OKAY???? I LIIIIIEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I NEED THEM BACK TOGETHER DESPERATELY #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #otp: you know me so well

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mcroutfits · 6 hours

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on flickr / by shangrila-la-la

7/10 cute chelsea jersey but...

you're only one step away from an argentinian... and i feel nauseous

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hychlorions · 9 months

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What if I told you that I've fallen?

[ID: Art of Susato Mikotoba and Haori Murasame/Rei Membami, done on a stylized background of swirling cherry blossom petals. Haori is falling backward, pulling Susato with her, so close that their noses are touching. Haori closes her eyes as she pulls off Susato’s cap, while Susato — still dressed as Ryutaro Naruhodo — looks down at her with eyes wide. The background is suffused with the faint colors of the lesbian flag. End ID]

#susahao #susarei #susato mikotoba #haori murasame #rei membami #dgs #tgaa #dgs2 spoilers #<- i guess !#.png #me: ok we've done our fill of comms for today let's do something quick and easy (doesn't do that)#this is a nightmare to tag actually. why does she have two names #also here's to hoping external links don't get hidden on here anymore i've been living with that fear since 2019 #do i think that song fits them. i'm not sure. it's just stuck in my head and i don't wanna use kiss kiss fall in love

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annn-starrr · 6 months

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their love story hurts me so bad. if someone asks me "damn, who hurts you?" it's them. they hurt me. they are so "loving you is a losing game" coded. the way no matter what path she took, she will always be on the path that is against him. and lovers who HAD to be on the opposite side in any kind of event could actually kill me on the spot. I'm not even attempting to joke around rn. the way their nature is opposed to each other but they were still drawn by each other. LIKE HE KNEW WHO SHE WAS AND STILL PATIENTLY WAITING FOR HER TO COME CLEAN WITH IT HERSELF. HE DIDN'T FORCE HER LIKE HE DID WITH OTHERS. AND THE WAY THEY'RE NOT EVEN ENEMIES, THEIR NATURE FORCED THEM TO BE ONE. SOMEONE TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME, I CAN'T BREATH WHEN I'M READING THEIR SCENES. I JUST CAN'T

#romance club #interactive game #romance club game #rc song of the crimson nile #rc sotcn #rc amen #rc evthys #i actually hate them #for making my miserable life ten times more miserable #atp i don't have the strength to read anything about them anymore #i have lost the purpose to live #what's the point if I can't see a happy ending for them #i swear on the final chapter of sotcn I'm gonna genuinely cry at their ending #they're all i can think about nowadays honestly #I'm actually sick of them #I'm THIS 🤏🏽 close to take a bath with my toaster #wanna test the theory if it's true or not #normalizing by blaming all of my life problems to hataroth

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longmaxsilvarg · 1 month

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will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together

#she's not the best person ever #but no one is #and i'm not excusing a lot of her actions #like the way she acted when kate called max will always leave me biting my fist out of frustration #but people love to just stare at the surface n focus on the parts of her that aren't great #n don't bother to wonder what got her there #the part that jumps to conclusions and does things out of pure selfishness #and that part that doesn't really think things through...#like shooting that damn bumper #but i GET IT #putting so much trust and love into people just to have them disappear on you especially if you dont know if its intentional #not getting closure can do SO much damage it's not even funny #n it legit can just make you feel like an idiot when you look back like #why did i try so hard just to end up alone #like this girls life went downhill at the age of 14 #she just like me fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭#no but #it's hard not to feel like the worlds against you #even at the end she acknowledges that she's been selfish #SO #i don't like believing that she chooses to be this way yknow like #i truly think that she believes acting like a hardass all the time is the only way she'll be able to get by anymore #she lost her dad n then max n then tried again with rachel and then lost her #i'd be fuckin insane too #girl just doesn't wanna be hurt anymore #there's better ways of coping and acting but overall i get where she's coming from #n ill always save her bc i genuinely believe that she deserves a second chance #to live her life and find happiness again #life is strange #chloe price

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jichanxo · 3 months

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date outfit kitakata save me......... save me....

#kuwana jin #jin kuwana #lost judgment #judgment #jichanart #fic extras #fic:senseific #was itching to work on something related to kitakata on his date with yagami so. here #have actually drawn this outfit before but i don't like that art much anymore so. lol. new one!#the wrist cast is a new addition though cause i think it would be funny #it's not locked in yet BUT fingers crossed i can include it (something something plot)#anyhow other notes about this:#clean shaven bc it's kitakata as opposed to kuwana #jewellry bc you can tell he's really trying here #necklace to draw the eye to the chest #and earrings just cause i think he likes em. plus it's a fun extra detail for yagami to notice #kitakata doesn't get to wear em at his job so it's fun to have that little extra edge you know #i like to think his shirt would be fitted to better show off his arms and chest. he's been working hard on em after all #he can wear his canon boots cause they're practical. i also think he's wearing some cologne #if not for the cast he'd be wearing a decent looking watch too. again. kitakata is REALLY TRYING #and is generally a little more put together than kuwana is #anyway (chews my own arm) i can't write their date until i work more on the actual fucking PLOT #but i reaaaaaaally wanna make this happen so 💔#anyway. yagami shows up to their date wearing what he always wears. can we all make fun of him #because he thinks it's practical and he looks good (which is why he wears it all the time). kitakata is not impressed #ANYWAY #live laugh love senseific

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rapidhighway · 1 month

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Hnngg

#im so stressed ughhhhh #this divorce is gonna end me man though im probably stressing out over nothing AGAIN #like tomorrow my dad's bringing some expert to the house to put a price on the house #and i literally have no idea whatever that's gonna be how we are gonna pay that shit lmaoo #also i just really don't wanna be there or be with them in the same house god i hate it when they're near each other #i am..... going through it more than i probably should since I'm an adult now n stuff but whatever #it's not like i can just stop feeling all this distress and grief n shit especially since he's already found a girlfriend #with kids and stuff and they've already been going to my grandparents ughhh i feel thrown away you know #it hasn't even been a year it's pissing me off so badly #i feel like killing myself every time i think about tomorrow and then I feel even worse when i think about later ughhh #i shouldn't be so distressed i really shouldn't #especially since I've been living my life on an incredible streak of luck so.#whateverrrrr #uhh like comment and subscribe #vent #i just gotta. cause there isn't anyone here i can really talk to since #everyone sees this so much more differently and sis is just always telling me im making it into something bigger than it is #but it's really stressing me out #idk i fear this is not gonna end nicely I don't even see him anymore #and it literally hasn't even been a year but he's not really talking to me but at the same time i don't really #feel like talking to him either so who knows uhh..

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lastofthe20thcenturygirls · 8 months

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how do you create so many cool amazing smart clever sweet absolutely badass women characters and also create the worst most annoying lesbian ever too

#somebody poison that clingy bitch to death please #i don't even like yao but i am starting to feel bad for her now #also i don't trust her one bit so every time maomao praises her i wanna hold her by the shoulders and violently shake some sense into her #every time she knows something and maomao goes “oh her information network is great as usual" i am like girl don't you think it's fishy????#i am convinced she wants something from lakan's mansion and maybe she's the one who tried to poison jinshi #maybe she's a spy gyokuyou's bro sent or smth idk but i really really don't trust her and mostly hate her sm it's unreal #she wants to live at kan mansion? cool #but stop forcing maomao to go there she needs to tend jinshi ffs and not waste anymore time with you hoes #die already 😭#yeah i do really hate her this much #and so much more #kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #light novel #knh text

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txrtxglix-lvver · 1 month

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I dont want to get things confused he said hed never settle for some boy he couldn't use so now I gotta call the doctor so he prescribe me medication so I can deal with all the memories of being here this way

#I fuckinh hate him #he doesn't even deserve to be thought about by me #let alone have lyrics dedicated for him #this stupid ass song is reminding me of him¿#I hate him oh my god #but it's like at every turn I see his disgusting face and I have to force myself to not break down just right and there #I get flash backs just at the slight reminder of him #I'm gonna vomit #I was doing so good until I fucking saw him #I might switch schools just because of this #it's not something I want but it's kinda hard to just do school and stuff when I think he's in the class right next to me #I see him everywhere #HE FUCKING TRAUMATIZED ME.#HE RUINED MY LIFE.#and I just have to “get over it”? get over it? get over it?#get over it? really? get over IT?#go through what I fucking went through then talk.#I'm so mentally drained #I don't wanna live anymore #I mean I was able to see all my friends at least once so..#that was one of the things I wanted before I died #finn yaps 🎀#vent #★ finn sings 🎤

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bardicious · 1 month

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Honestly if anyone deserved to survive into the new timeline it was Lila and Five. 😭😭😭

#The Boy Who Survived the Apocalypse #Umbrella Academy #umbrella academy spoilers #umbrella academy season 4 #yeah Im biased #I just watched four seasons of five sacrificing everything to save his ungrateful family #Im happy he got some time with lila and found love in a real person before he stopped existing #he was literally THE motivator to save everyone #Im happy he got some real peace before it all went to hell #not me imagining same age lila and five in new timeline #getting together because of fate #oooo - you know - I wanna think up a final timeline au and figure out what jobs and lives the family would get there #and how they might come together - not to save the world - but to just exist #five would probably be in something like the cia - lila also #diego would be a cop with patches #viktor would be a violinist - maybe living above a bar he owns #luther obviously an astronaut/military and allison still an actress - maybe politician #ben... uuuuh i don't know - business man? klaus a medium - honestly the fact that he talked to god - i think he may just be like that #grace could still be diego's adoptive mom #Im not sure if reggie and abigail exist anymore? that confused me #yeah baby Im turning this family into a procedural show 🤣

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falderaletcetera · 1 year

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come to think of it another reason I'm biased towards nine might be because we never reach such beautiful casual queer vibes as the doctor + rose + jack situation again, at least not as far as I've watched. like I'm honestly not that much of a shipper but that kiss scene DOES things to me. and part of that is how loosely defined the relationship seems to be, at least maybe from jack's perspective. I can't rightly say it was wholly romantic in canon, but it sure was something - yes, rose flirted with jack way more than the doctor did when they first met, but the doctor even just being chill about jack kissing him feels significant - and I do love a quasi-romantic loosely-defined Something.

#doctor who #falderal speaks #I have stills from the jack+rose and jack+doctor kisses because I'm. normal about it #and I think we avoid seeing the doctor's face during or right after because they didn't want to shock the viewers too much?#if we don't see the doctor's face or reaction it can be waved off as just a Jack Being Jack thing #and it leaves us this sort of... almost plausible denability almost ambiguity #and again that may just be the vibe jack brings to it #it honestly makes me a little sad that he feels so different in torchwood #because I almost wanna say that pre-torchwood jack is maybe just LIKE this with his close friendships #maybe he comfortably straddles/ignores the line between friendship and romance when that's safe and welcome #(or else just falls into that with rose and the doctor specifically)#and maybe he's just lived through so much by torchwood (or lived so long in such a restrictive culture)#that he just. doesn't do that anymore. can't.#those are my feelings on it at least!#I haven't strayed into the fandom at ALL I just grew up with the show so nobody read this as reacting to any trends in the fandom pls #anyway apparently I'm mostly feral about the relationships I can think about and ship in a queerplatonic way #which will be a surprise to absolutely no-one who knows me from fandom stuff #but I hadn't thought to think about these three that way before. and it's a treat.#drafted last night just posted today #(like this was probably the first queer character and queer kiss I saw on screen and it was a nationally beloved family-friendly show)#(I'm basically obligated not to be normal about it)

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twilightarcade · 2 months

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anyways wanna hear about what I've been thinking about

#wordstag #Heavily redacted on account of I don't wanna dox myslef #Anyways like yesterday someone was like 'you're prettygood at driving' and I was like. I play a lot of Mario kart. I don't play a lot of #Mario kart that was a flat Lie. Also I hate driving ohhhghhhh my goodod it's like if they made the worst thing ever and if you do bad #Everyone kills you anwyas was thinkingof sending a letter to my friend. But I don't really know how letters work to be real I haven't sent #letter in 5 million years.#next topic was thinking about (not someothonh we would ever do) a gimmicky fundraiser wheee it's like there's goals and at certain #Goals you unlock different things. At 50 bucks we buy [GUY] a new mouse at 100 bucks we make a collectible pin line etc etc #at 200 bucks we do a choreographed dance routine #Next next topic like a bit ago we had an idea to make like #A pet sim but your pet is doomed to die. Pet sim where you outlive your pet #where basically you have a pet yeah and it's like a clicker and you gotta click and upgrade yr clicks ets #all while feeding this pet who's life span is only limited by how much money you make #and it was like. A slow decline yknow. The prices of everything gets higher snd eventually you can't afford to feed your pet yknow #something of a tragedy. You can keep playing but your pet won't be there anymore #and like at some point you don't have time to play with your pet anymore because you need to focus on making money #I told my friend this (golf friend) and she was like. You're insane. Horribly crudeidea but that was also the point?#What message about society or whatever the shit is there? I dontknow bro.#there r two endings one ending where your pet dies sad and you live on (you have like a taxes you pay rent or some shit #So you loose money and if you can't pay rent you die. Or something like that it isn't that thought through #then the other ending is like everyone dies forever but you died playing with your pet so. Peace and love on planet earth #Anywyas um. I've gotta head to bed man. Or they're gonna Get Me #I don't think I'm going to but. ominous.#dude the computer is loud as fuck are we mining bitcoin or some shit. Is it usually this loud ?????

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bad-at-metaphors · 29 days

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The good news it's I got an interview for the first real big girl job I applied to

The bad news is I don't actually want it

#I just want a part time low emotional weight easy as shit close job #I'm not ambitious anymore #I don't need the grind I just wanna live my life #I'm thinking about intentionally bombing the interview

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wereh0gz · 11 months

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Ok. Y'know I don't talk abt current events and stuff all that often. The internet has always been a sort of escape from irl stuff for me, plus i'm not an activist or anything. I'm just Some Guy. But with what's happening rn with Israel and Palestine and how staff keeps doing shady shit both in regards to what's happening rn and with other stuff they've done before, it just makes me feel uncomfy even being an active user here

I've never given them my money or anything, but just being here is starting to make me uncomfortable. They haven't said anything abt these things outright as far as I know, but knowing how things are going on other socials (like deviantart, which I stopped using bc of the blatant pro-israel shit staff there posted recently among other issues, or youtube being. Y'know. Youtube) I have no doubt they're very much pro-israel as well. Stopping Palestine related tags from trending and nuking pro-palestine blogs might as well be a statement on what their stance is even if they try to hide behind technical issues

I just don't want to feel like I'm inadvertently supporting genocide just by being here and using the site. Maybe that's a bit of a reach bc I don't support them financially but idk. It's not like I'd really have anywhere else to go anyways since pretty much every major social has gone this route. My mutuals are all here too and I don't wanna leave y'all. This is like 99% of my social network

Idk if I'm just overthinking. It's late, I'm tired and I'm rambling and I should be sleeping bc I have shit to do tomorrow but I can't stop worrying abt it. Idk

#ramblings #neg #i'm generally just thinking abt leaving social media all together bc i genuinely don't wanna support this shit in any way #i already did it with da #but idk if that's the right thing to do. and it's not like one guy leaving the internet is going to do much #plus i don't wanna leave my mutuals behind. i don't wanna stop sharing my art. but i still feel bad #i'm probably just overthinking but it's not letting me sleep #man i sure wish i wasn't living in historical times right now!#ugh #idk if i should trust how i feel abt this at almost 12 am. i need sleep #and i'm also stressed abt my personal life #so. yeah #delete later probably idk anymore

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pluggedintosaverockandroll · 8 months

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you know it's exam season because i'm questioning all my life choices

#you know i don't mind going to classes actually but studying and taking exams makes me feel like i'm a cog in a machine #as i got older i started caring less about school actually not because i don't think it's important #but because it makes me feel like a product of capitalism #why did i choose this major?#do i even still like it?#do i want to work in this field later?#like i think that no matter my feelings on my major i'm not gonna change it #bc 1 i already got this far 2 i don't know what else i would wanna do and 3 i couldn't live with the feeling of failure #i just have to make it through another 2 and a half years of uni at least #and right now i just have to make it through the next week and a half #god i want exams to be over #i don't have any motivation anymore and i don't care about the classes i have to study for that much #anyways can you tell that my last exam didn't go well ?#i should be nicer to myself bc it's weekend and i am never that productive for uni in weekend anyway #anyways thanks for coming to my rant #kj post

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alltheprettyplaces · 2 months

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there are 2 too many teenagers in my house at this time of day

#this BOY has been here for hours too LEAVE #and then my sister's friend just walking in right at 10 like??????? why r u here #yes i feel like an old lady but i don't wanna live here anymore anyway skjfhfhjgdsaj #i never did the shit my sister pulls as a teen so i think that's why it makes me a little skdfjhadfhdks

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