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#i don't think i'll ever be able to actually understand it
cosmicjoke · 2 days
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Am I the only one who finds Erwin and Levi's relationship toxic?
I've read your discussions and I agree that in ACWR Erwin set up a plan to get Levi to join the SC that would get his friends killed. And even though Levi is betrayed when he learns of the intentions of this man he has blindly followed over time, and even though he realizes that the man he followed for his ideology does not serve that purpose, he still follows him. It's very disturbing that he follows him for no reason, even though he's following him for this purpose and even though he finds out that it doesn't serve this purpose, even though he has no reason to follow him, in a way. Did he wonder if he himself was part of this betrayal? Was the deaths of Farlan and Isabel also part of this plan? I would have given him the right to hold a grudge against Erwin just because of their deaths, but he doesn't even do that, let alone mention them once.
I think this is a failed character script and characterization
I will never understand why people romanticize it by saying they have a great relationship.
I agree that Levi's situation is really sad and I find it disturbing that he follows him despite all this.
Erwin didn't want Furlan and Isabel to die. I don't know why anyone thinks that. Yes, he endangered their lives by forcing them into a military unit that has an astronomically high death rate, and I'll agree 100% that Erwin's manipulation of Levi and his friends was the most morally wrong and unethical thing he ever did. But it wasn't his intention for them to die. He used them, undoubtedly, but Erwin isn't a sadist, and he isn't a bad person, despite his many, many flaws.
The thing that needs to be understood about Erwin is, he bought into his own line about fighting for the victory of humanity as much as anyone else. He convinced himself that's what he was fighting for, as a means of coping with the truth, which is that his true motivator was discovering the truth of the world to atone, basically, for the death of his father.
This self-delusion of Erwin's begins to unravel during the Uprising Arc, when for the first time, he does something that is counter to humanity's well-being, that being the military coup he enacts. And we see Erwin begin to spiral from there.
Levi trusted in and believed in Erwin so much because Erwin, in fact, WAS a great leader and DID have a far-reaching vision that allowed the Survey Corps to make more progress toward freeing humanity than any other leader in the SC's history. Levi never "blindly" followed Erwin. He took plenty of issue with Erwin's methods and approach as a leader. But he also trusted in Erwin to do the right thing because, up until the Uprising arc, he always had when it came to benefiting the greater good. He trusted in his abilities as a leader because he'd proven again and again to be someone worthy of that trust. It's why Levi thanks Erwin near the end of his life and tells him that it's thanks to him that they've made it as far as they have. That's the truth. The SC never would have made it to that point without Erwin's leadership and guidance.
Erwin began to sink into a mire of self-loathing and guilt (which in and of itself proves he never was some heartless, uncaring sociopath), and that colored his own perception of himself as somehow unworthy or undeserving of his role as Commander. But Erwin was never the bad person he believed himself to be. Yes, he was motivated by a selfish dream, but the moment that dream began to interfere with his actual ability to lead, we see Erwin start to fall apart and the self-loathing begin to consume him. If he was actually a bad person, he wouldn't have felt anything at all about it. He would have been a-okay with the dawning realization that he'd been selling people a lie this whole time to get them to sacrifice themselves. And it's also important to understand that Erwin, even though he wasn't able to completely let go of his selfishness, and he needed Levi to make the choice for him, he WANTED Levi to make the choice because he WANTED to do the right thing. He just knew he didn't have the strength to do it on his own. But the desire to do the right thing, even as he lacked the strength for it, is also proof that Erwin wasn't some horrible, evil man that was just out for himself.
Levi is a better person than Erwin. But then, Levi is an exceptionally good man. Most people aren't as good as him. It doesn't mean Erwin was a bad person, just because he wasn't as selfless as Levi.
Levi has a greater insight into people than basically any other character in AoT. He sees people for who they really are. And he saw a goodness in Erwin that Erwin couldn't see in himself. That's why he followed him. Erwin was flawed, and in some ways, weak, but ultimately, he cared and wanted to be the leader that everyone believed he was. Levi helped him become that leader.
Their relationship isn't romantic or "great", maybe, but it's important and meaningful and, ultimately, deeply poignant.
Again, this desire to see Levi "hate" Erwin for failing to be the perfect, ideal man is more projection than anything. People projecting their own lack of sympathy or empathy or compassion onto the most empathetic and compassionate character in the series. Of course you're going to be disappointed when Levi doesn't succumb to the same, vengeful mindset and petty grievances that most of us would.
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If i ever were able to list all the things i dislike in Magisterium series, this post would've been endless. Instead, I'd mention smth i love so much that it makes me re-read the series for the fifth time and gives me inspiration for new drawings and playlists
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The first one is aesthetic. I don't think I've ever read a YA book with the death and necromancy as the main lore theme. Also, the first book in series is so sweet and innocent compared to the fourth I can't believe it lol. Corpses. So gothic. So edgy. Love it
The second is very similar to the first - chaos magic. We come across elemental magic in all sorts of media, but they don't usually have the 5th element, or if they have it's more likely to be electricity or smth. Not ACTUAL NECROMANCY omfg... I love it. Also Makars being able to manipulate not only chaos (the void itself) but the soul.... Cute
So next. The main character ofc. Callum Hunt. What can I say he is such a cinnamon roll hating himself for what he is not. Screaming, crying, throwing up. I can feel his pain with every fiber of my soul he's so relatable. He is a type of chaotic neutral main character which is rare I guess, and at the same time he doesn't act like a total jerk and piece of shit. Can't name some other like him, idk. He's sweet but also edgy. His self-confidence is below the surface of the earth. He's just like me frfr my poor little meow meow. Also he is disabled and it influences the events of the book. Sometimes. Cool, representative. Not a disabled person myself but can appreciate it
Another reason for me to love the series is the changing of Call's secrets idk how to call this. The structure of his character lore. His secrets and abilities, they're layered.. you know... And every book one by one uncovers these layers: 1 - he uncovers that he is the reincarnation of Constantine. 2 - he gets his powers (which made Constantine evil at the first place). 3 - he learns more about Constantine's family, and the whole world finds out that he "is" the Enemy of Death. 4 - omg how much he uncovers here lol i can't. May be my favourite book thanks to its maaad vibe. Everything he learns here makes him closer and closer to Constantine. 5 - i know that most of the fandom thinks it was stupid to make Constantine himself a reincarnated thousand-years-old evil Makar. And i may agree. But in the moment of reading this it was so impactful for me idk why.... I literally cried idk!!! Lol. Love the moment where Call opens his memory to help his friends to fight wolves or smth, and PASSES OUT. KING. So, the other secret is uncovered here. Everything he learns makes him understand Constantine's/Maugris's motives, but he never ever becomes anything like them nor wishes to follow their path. Pretty symbolic and meaningful
Upd. SOME MOMENTS ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS
So what can I say? Every series has it's weak and strong points. Some of them become classic literature, some are forgotten in the abyss of YA books. I understand why Magisterium's place is with the second type of series, and it's not even saddens me anymore (we're so underground teehee). But i see many posts where the series is shitted over, and not much of posts appreciating the things that we actually love in it. Aren't they the reason you started and finished it sometime? So I'm here spreading positivity! And also because I'm so tired of being a fan of this shit so i tried to acknowledge all that i love, and why am i here in the first place
I think it's all for now, maybe I'll come with more ideas later
Fandom are you alive? Heh am I a Call kinnie to the point that i become necromancer?...
P.S. sometimes i think I'm so cringe to be periodically obsessed with this STUPID POOR-WRITTEN CHILDISH BOOK ABANDONED EVEN BY IT'S OWN CREATORS BUT I CAN'T HELP IT...... AND THE WORST THING IS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN READ IT IN MY EARLY TEENS (except the 1 which i read when i was around 13. Read it twice in one week so maybe that's the moment my brain was damaged) I READ IT WHEN I WAS 16 ALREADY aaarrrhh I'm so cringe. Why obsession why why why why why why i hate this but this is literally the only book which makes me cry and scream and feel every fucking time i re-read it even when i know EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING reading it all again for the 6th time FOR GODDESS SAKE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
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anakinh · 2 years
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honestly, probably an unpopular opinion but i want more stories about ambition and intelligence that isn’t portrayed as evil. also I’m not raised religious and i don’t understand the big deal re: gods
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ghostly-cabbage · 2 months
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We need to talk about the worst thing about making AUs....
The fact that then when you inevitably think about crossovers you don't want the crossover with the canon you want it with your specific AU. Your brain worms, your circus, but THEN WHAT?
Oh, yeah, to understand this crossover you need to go read this entirely different fic/series? Girl help 😭 you can't do that
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laurelwinchester · 5 months
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one of my many many many arr*w related grievances is that people in the fandom (including in the laurel lance sub fandom) are very hesitant or even outright refuse to admit that quentin lance was an extremely emotionally abusive father. i still don't understand why that is.
#the thing is it's not like you have to go deep to see the abuse#it's actually quite in your face literally from day one which is why i'm forever raising an eyebrow at all the praise he gets#he was an extremely emotionally explosive man who constantly verbally or emotionally abused and manipulated laurel#he shredded her self esteem and confidence#he kept her shackled to him out of selfishness and made her small so he could continue to control her#and eventually he was the direct cause of her violent death#like what's not clicking?#he's john winchester* and yet for whatever reason he still doesn't get the john winchester treatment and i'll never understand why#is it because he more openly loved his children? because abusers often love their victims. it doesn't change the abuse#this rant coming to you because i'm trying to shift back into htlgi mode for the new year so i can at least try to get something posted soo#and i know i've talked about how i'm going to be tackling laurel's mommy issues but with the mommy issues come the inevitable daddy issues#and something i'm currently struggling with is that i....don't think laurel will ever be able to save herself from that man#especially not htlgi laurel#she is simply not capable of removing herself from that cycle of abuse. not where she is right now. maybe not ever.#which means 🤔#what if - and i'm just spitballing here - i kill him off?#........😏#oh that does sound satisfying ngl#it's not like i've given him much else to do#he mostly pops up every now and then to trigger both dean's fight or flight daddy issues and his overprotective husband issues#hmmm#anti quentin lance#arrow discourse#(*my hot take is that i think quentin lance is worse than john winchester. disclaimer: yes i'm aware that's an unpopular opinion.#i'm also aware it's ~cringe~ to be arrow posting in 2023 almost 2024 but this is how long it takes me to write lol)
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benevolentslut · 18 days
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my mother will see textbook depression and then decide it just pisses her off
#it's not an excuse to not do things but can i please just get a little grace and understanding#like..... funnily enough. make me feel like shit for struggling and i will struggle more.#and i already hate myself for not being able to do jack shit when there's no fucking reason for it#i just. i don't know why just existing is so hard for me when there's nothing to justify it#am i just fucking lazy in my core or am i broken#there was One (1) thing i was able to muster up enough drive to do and then a few comments completely fucking destroyed it#there are so many things i should be able to do and i just can't force myself to do it bc i can't find the energy#and so i just keep perpetually distracting myself from ever experiencing a Thought but that doesn't fucking help#and i don't know how to stop#everyone around me is doing so fucking well no matter what and i've had a fucking fraction of the hardship and yet i'm a WRECK#and it's so easy for me to think 'well i'll Just Do It! I'll stop crying about it and I'll just do it' but that lasts for about a day#before i burn out completely and i DON'T GET IT#IT'S JUST EXISTING AS A FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHY IS IT SO HARD#WHY CAN I NOT EVEN PUT IN THE EFFORT TO SURVIVE LET ALONE LIVE#WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO ACTUALLY HARD SHIT SO WELL#while i'm here just fucking. scraping by and feeling like i'm fighting for my life when i'm literally not even doing ANYTHING#it just feels so fucking hard but it's NOT i'm not doing ANYTHIJG AT ALL SO WHY DO I FEEL BURNT OUT#HOW CAN I BE BURNT OUT WHEN I NEVER DO ANYTHING#HOW DO I GET THIS FEELING TO STOP#and i don't even have a right to complain because just! there's nothing hard about my life right now!#emotionally speaking there's one major thing i'm dealing with. practically speaking there's nothing#so why can i not even do basic everyday tasks. if even surviving feels like too much how the fuck am i ever supposed to do more#i'm so beyond disgusted with myself for it and i just.#i don't fucking deserve to live.#the one and only thing i'm able to push myself to do is my driving lessons#literally the only thing. other than that i can eat. sometimes. that's it#i'm a fucking disgrace and i'm aware of it and i don't deserve to live or to complain. but how do i change that.#i'm able to push myself to shower occasionally. i can eat at least one meal per day. i do an hour long driving lesson once a week#and if that's too much what the fuck is wrong with me.
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troublcmakcrs · 3 months
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//thinks about the rpc's different accessibility needs and how we are all so cute and interesting 😊
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medicinemane · 10 months
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I really do think one of the biggest problems in the world is people's inability to accept shades of grey
Thing is, a lot of people are totally willing to accept shades of grey... unless it's something they care about, and then they're gonna say "no, only my way is correct!"
It's just like... if we can't talk about things like adults, if we can't talk about what the costs of each way of doing things are without covering our ears and pretending our plan has no costs because we don't want it to have any... well we can't figure out a solution, can we?
#I'm not gonna talk about what this is actually about; what's actually stuck in my craw here#instead what I'll say is that like... lets take sanctions on russia as an example#people will be like 'but that hurts ordinary russians more than it hurts putin!'#and it's like... of course it does; of course it absolutely does; that sadly is the way these things work#the people at the top are always hurt the least by these things and pass all the pain on to the people at the bottom#but I can acknowledge that; I'm not sat here pretending that the sanctions are only happy fun times#or that they're perfect things that catch everything or instantly will bring russia to it's knees#and this is what I'm talking about with accepting some grey#I accept that the sanctions I support can hurt people who don't deserve it#and I accept that they're not a perfect solution#it's just in the end I think that the harm from not sanctioning russia and not trying to starve their military of supplies#and just generally put as much pressure as possible on them#that doing it outweighs any downsides#or like killing russian soldiers; I understand that when I hear a russian military pilot crashed and died#and I go 'oh thank goodness'; that I'm feeling glad about another person's life being snuffed out#it's just... one less pilot means one less person to fling missiles at civilians#I accept that I have to back imperfect solutions that cause pain that I don't like#I have to accept that much as I hate it; the US military industrial complex has it's uses with being able to do stuff like supply Ukraine#and that sadly... we can't just wish away war; we have to approach it like adults if we ever want to find a final cure for war#and it may not even be possible; and it probably won't happen in my life#but I can't just peacenik and say 'no war man' and magically have Ukraine not be invaded#you've got to accept a little pain and a little bad when you're thinking about what needs to be done big scale#purely because if you don't you might cause even more pain that what you're trying to avoid; because you just covered your ears about it#...fucking idiot#not saying what this is about; but fucking selfish idiots#I'm even nominally on the same side; just I don't put my feelings first on this shit#and I see I can't just magic fairy dust and hope to make things work out the way you think they will (but they never do)#and I actually worry about shit like government surveillance which for all your claims... you sure seem happy to accept it in this case#and your being fucking selfish and putting your wants and feelings over practical concerns and solutions does so much harm#you literally make the world a concretely worse place with more death in pursuit of your morality
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yunmew · 1 year
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"You're too nice."
Honestly, I'm getting really tired of hearing that. You know what? I think you're too mean 😂
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tidetfs · 2 months
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"Ugh, bro, pleeeeease?"
Max looked at me with those dopey blue eyes of his, staring dully through me and appearing to lack any kind of intelligence or perception.
"I told you, I have a very important club interview," I replied. "This could determine if I can network into a good job after college!" stressing the importance of a job, something my stoner roommate never seemed to understand.
"Just one hit, man, come on! You gotta stop worrying about that stuff and just chill out!" he replied, stretching his muscular arms over his head of greasy (probably unwashed) brown hair and closing his eyes, as if musing about something important. "You gotta try this weed bro, I just, I-" he stuttered as he took another hit. "I don't fuckin' know man, I think you just need this."
Exasperated, I dropped my heavy bag on the floor and strode over to his side of the room, switching to mouth breathing to avoid inhaling too much foot funk from his "clean pile" of clothes, as Max called it. Even three air fresheners weren't enough to keep the pungent smells of weed and sweat at bay.
"What the hell, dude, when's the last time you even washed those?!"
"Oh, I dunno, a couple weeks ago, maybe?" Max replied, shrugging.
I could see some of the dried crust still clinging to the fabric. I couldn't help but be amazed at the sheer size of his stash. The pile was easily four feet across, and it was clear Max was still working to roll his way through the rest. I couldn't even imagine where he got it all.
"Look, just let me finish my meeting, then I'll smoke with you, okay?"
Max's eyes lit up.
"Yeah, for real?" he replied, excited. "You promise? Pinky swear?"
Max stuck his hand out, his pinky raised and his arm shaking slightly. He looked like an overgrown child. I was so tired, I didn't even hesitate. I wrapped my pinky around his, then turned to walk out of the room. As soon as I let go, I felt a sudden, powerful wave of euphoria wash over me. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I couldn't even think straight, the sensation was so intense.
I collapsed against the doorway, unable to move. I could barely even think. The only thought that went through my mind was that I'd never felt this good in my life. Every inch of my skin tingled and buzzed, like a pleasant static that sent ripples of bliss through my muscles. I couldn't even control the way my body twitched and shivered.
"Duuuude," I heard Max say. "You feel that, man? I told you it's the good stuff."
I didn't know what was happening to me. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe, and the feeling was getting more and more intense. "What..." I struggled to even sound out words. "I didn't even...take a hit..."
"Well, no, not technically," Max said, laughing. "But, uh, that's not what it was, actually. See, I sorta dosed your pinky."
I looked up at him, confused. My vision was blurry and I could barely see him, but he was grinning widely, and I could see the outline of his meaty, calloused hands rubbing the front of his jeans.
"See, it's like this, man. That wasn't weed. That was just, you know, a little something to get you to loosen up a bit. And, uh, well, there's this other thing, too. That shit I sprayed on your hand. It's not, uh, not exactly what you think."
The euphoria was fading, but it was still intense, and it was making my brain spin. "You sprayed my...hand?" I mumbled, barely able to understand what he was saying.
"Yeah, bro, I sorta had to, man. You kept getting me down with all your stress." He flexed his big biceps and gave one a kiss. "Now you're gonna be just like me!" He grinned wide, his perfect teeth glinting in the low light.
I couldn't respond. The sensations were still washing over me, but the euphoria was fading. As my brain began to work again, I suddenly realized that there was something wrong with me. There was a new, alien weight between my legs.
"Wha-what did you do?" I stammered, still dazed and confused. "What...what did you..."
I looked down, and froze. There was a huge, heavy bulge straining against the crotch of my jeans, stretching the thick material taut. It was huge. Like, absolutely massive. It was easily the size of my fist, maybe even bigger. It was so big and round, I could even see the outline of the individual balls.
"Duuuuude, bro, look at that fucking thing!" Max exclaimed, pointing and laughing. "It's totally fucking huge! Holy shit, man, it's the biggest cock I've ever seen in my life!"
I tried to speak, but I was still so confused, I couldn't get my mouth to form words.
"I didn't know they could get that big, man! Wow, bro, you're really packing a fucking cannon, you know that? Holy shit, it's so fucking hot." Max was practically drooling as he ogled the enormous bulge in my pants.
I could feel the heat radiating off of it, and I could tell it was pulsing and throbbing with each beat of my heart. The sensation was incredibly intense.
"It's...it's not possible..." I stammered, my voice cracking. "What...what did you spray?"
"Bro, I'm telling you, it's totally normal!" Max said, trying his best to sound reassuring. "My friend from home, he said, well, it's just that..." Max stammered again, his usually peaceful face betraying some shyness. "I've always thought you were cute, even without that package. You just needed to loosen up a little. And, I mean, I just wanted you to be, like, comfortable with me. It was just a little bit, man, and it was totally safe. Like, I swear, it's totally normal, dude." He grinned and shot me a wink. "Soon you're going to be just like me."
Max was still staring at the massive bulge, and I could see the outline of his huge dick stretching the crotch of his jeans.
"Dude, bro, I-" my hand shot to my mouth. I had never used those words in the same sentence before! "I...I didn't mean that!"
"Oh, yeah, dude," Max replied, not even noticing. "It's totally normal, bro. You're just a little high is all."
"High?!" I shouted, exasperated. "This isn't...I'm not...this isn't how people talk!"
Max just shrugged. "Bro, you've always been a nerd, and it's cool, man, I totally get it. But this is a big step forward. You're gonna love this. I swear."
I couldn't believe this was happening. I was still trying to process everything that was happening to me, when I heard Max's voice.
"Duuuuuude, check it out, bro," he said, gesturing to the bulge in his jeans. "We're, like, totally packing!"
"I can't..."
"Oh, shit, right. Dude, you gotta feel this."
Max quickly reached down and grabbed the bulge in my pants. As soon as he made contact, I felt a powerful surge of pleasure ripple through me. My body immediately responded to his touch, and I could feel my new cock throb and twitch. I groaned, unable to hold back the sounds.
"Dude, holy shit, bro, it's like, really sensitive or something," Max said, his eyes wide. "Like, really, really fucking sensitive, bro."
"No, it's...not..." I moaned, but I could tell it was a lie. It felt like Max's hand was squeezing my balls, and the pleasure was incredible.
"Fuck, bro, it's, like, really fucking sensitive, dude. Like, fucking, crazy fucking sensitive." Max was practically drooling, and his eyes were glazed over. He was clearly enjoying this a lot.
"Please, stop..."
"Fuck, bro, you're so fucking hard," Max groaned. He started to rub my bulge, and his other hand went to the front of his own jeans. "...and, you're so pretty too. I just don't want to lose you to all those meetings, bro. I want you to be with me."
"Wait, no, what are you doing?"
"I can't hold back anymore, dude, I gotta see your big dick," Max replied, unzipping my jeans and reaching in. He slowly pulled down, and my eyes widened as he revealed the huge, throbbing bulge in my underwear. It was so big, the fabric was stretched tight, and it was already soaked in pre-cum.
"Holy shit, dude, that thing is huge!" Max exclaimed, his voice cracking. He was staring at my huge bulge with a lustful expression, and his long tongue darted out to lick his lips. "It's, like, fucking, massive."
I looked down and was shocked by what I saw. It was easily twice as big as it had been just a few minutes ago. It was still growing, and it was stretching the fabric of my boxer-briefs to the limit. Max began to move closer, scrambling to take off his busted old t-shirt, meaty pecs and perfect washboard abs busting out as he did. He leaned forward, and his massive bicep brushed against my new rock-hard dick.
"Oh, shit, bro, fuck," Max moaned as he leaned in closer. At this point I could almost feel the waves of sweat and weed rolling off his huge body, and my cock was throbbing and leaking, straining against the tight fabric of my underwear.
"You're so hot, dude," Max said, reaching out to grab my huge bulge, wrapping his meaty hand around it. His hand was warm and rough, and his grip was strong, squeezing my bulge and causing a fresh burst of pleasure. "You're, like, fucking sexy as hell, man."
"What the hell, bro, no, that's not...that's not right!" I stammered, but Max's words sent a thrill through me. I could feel my cheeks burning, and I could feel the heat radiating from my skin. "That's not, I'm not a fag!"
"You sure about that, bro?" he asked, giving it a tug and sending a bolt of pleasure through my body. I felt the euphoria return. This time, it was a hundred times more intense.
"Fuuuuck," I groaned, leaning my head back. "Bro, it feels so fucking good."
"I know, right? And it's going to feel even better when you're a stoner like me, dude." Max replied, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Fuck, bro, I can't take it, I gotta get naked," Max moaned, frantically undoing his belt and shucking his pants. "I'm so fucking hard, bro, I can't wait to fuck you."
I looked down, and for the first time, got a good look at my new equipment. It was absolutely massive. It was huge and thick, easily the biggest cock I'd ever seen, and it was still growing. It was 10 inches long, and thicker than a beer can. My balls were huge, too, hanging heavy and swollen between my legs. I'd never felt anything like it.
The sensation continued to wash over me, slowly becoming heat as I began to sweat. It felt amazing. I couldn't control myself, I was already starting to moan and groan, and the euphoria was starting to mix with my arousal. My new cock was so sensitive, and the slightest touch made it throb and pulse.
"It's starting!" Max shouted, looking at my side of the room as my clean and organized things started to transform. My desk became cluttered with bongs and pipes, and posters of the periodic table were suddenly replaced by scantily clad men. My clothes started to change, too. My formerly neat shirts were suddenly full of holes and stained with various substances. My shoes were replaced with flip flops and Crocs.
"I can't take it, man, I'm too horny, I need to kiss you, right now," Max moaned, his voice shaking with desperation. "I've been waiting for this day, dude, and I can't hold back any longer."
Before I could protest, Max leaned in and kissed me, his big, thick tongue probing my mouth. The heat was overwhelming, and his kisses were passionate and hungry. His big, rough hands began to explore my body, rubbing and stroking and caressing every inch of me. He broke away from the kiss and buried his face in my neck, licking and nibbling and kissing. He was so close, I could feel the heat from his body, and I could smell the overpowering funk of stale sweat and reeking weed. It was so powerful I almost didn't notice my feet begin to ache and the pain in my lower back.
"What's...what's happening to me, bro?" I asked, my voice breaking. "I feel...I feel like...fuck, bro, it hurts!"
"You're changing, dude," Max replied, grinning. "It's the weed. You're finally becoming one with the bud."
"Fuck, bro, I can't hold back anymore," Max moaned. He reached down and began to stroke his giant cock, pre-cum pouring from the tip. It was easily 9 inches, and his massive balls were swollen and heavy with greasy, unwashed hair.
My feet continued to ache and burn as they stretched out, becoming bigger and broader. I could feel my bones shifting and rearranging, long tufts of sweaty hair sprouting out of my feet as they morphed into giant, hairy stumps. I couldn't believe it. The changes were getting more and more intense, and it was driving me wild. I felt like I was going to explode.
"I can't take it anymore," Max groaned, his voice a husky growl. " I have to make you mine."
Without hesitation, Max grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, pushing me face-first into my mattress. His hands were rough and strong, and he easily manhandled me.
"Holy fuck, dude, your ass, it's..." Max moaned, his voice filled with lust. "It's so fucking huge."
My ass was getting bigger and rounder, and it was stretching the seat of my boxer-briefs to the limits, and I felt a sharp, sudden pain as the fabric gave way and tore, leaving my huge, jiggly, fat, bubble butt exposed.
"I'm so horny, bro" Max moaned, his voice shaky and breathy, as my ass filled with greasy, oily stink, the air thick with the musk of unwashed flesh and reeking, unwashed funk.
"You're so hot, dude. It's so hot that you're getting stoned."
"What? Bro, that's not...wait!"
"Don't worry, dude, you'll get used to it. It's just the weed talking."
"No, wait, bro, you can't..." I moaned again as my legs began to push me taller, my thighs and calves widening and thickening. My feet swelled even more, filling to a size 13, and a sudden rush of heat swept over my body.
"Fuck, dude, you're so fucking hot, man," Max groaned, his voice thick with lust, rubbing my new, tick legs as dark, swirly hair began to sprout, quickly becoming matted with the sweat of hours upon hours of mindless smoking.
"Please, bro, stop," I moaned, as my body began to shake. "I can't take it, I'm gonna...I'm gonna cum."
"Dude, that's the whole point, bro," Max replied, his voice trembling. "Just relax, and let it happen. It's gonna feel so fucking good."
"It's too much," I moaned, my cock throbbing and pulsing. "It's too intense."
"I know, dude, it's just the weed, bro. It'll feel better after you get used to it. Trust me."
I could feel the hair begin to creep onto my stomach and chest, quickly spreading and covering me in a layer of greasy, foul-smelling, sweaty body hair.
"Dude, are you seriously not feeling this, too?" I asked, my voice cracking. "Bro, I can't take it, please, just stop, it's too much."
"Dude, chill, you're fine," Max replied, flipping me back over and rubbing his hand over my new abs and thickening pecs. "Just enjoy the ride."
"Wait, no, I'm not...fuuuuck!"
The sensation was so intense, it was driving me wild. I could barely even think. My pecs were growing larger and heavier, and my nipples were swelling and darkening, the areolae growing thicker and hairier.
"Fuuuuuck, dude, you're so fucking sexy," Max groaned, grabbing a fistful of hair and giving it a sharp tug, making me moan with pleasure.
My cock was throbbing and leaking pre-cum, and I could feel the heat coming from it. My balls were swollen and heavy, and they were aching for release.
"Fuck, dude, I can't take it," Max moaned, his voice filled with desperation, shoving his face into my pit as they began to grow and deepen, quickly filling with rank, musky body odor. As he licked, my arms grew longer and wider, my biceps and triceps growing thicker and bulkier. My forearms became thicker and more defined, and my hands and fingers were getting bigger and beefier.
"Bro, it's so fucking good." Max's voice was muffled by my armpit, and I could feel his tongue lapping up the stale sweat and musk.
My arms were now completely covered in thick, greasy, matted hair, and the same was happening to my back, the swirly pattern spreading like a wildfire. My shoulders were growing larger and rounder, and I could feel the muscles shifting and rearranging.
"Please, dude, don't...I can't..."
"I can't stop, bro, you're so hot," Max moaned, his face buried in my pit. I could smell our odors mixing together as our muscular bodies writhed against each other, slick with sweat and the stinking smell of weed.
I was so turned on.
"You're so hot, bro," Max moaned, his pre-cum leaking all over the place.
"No, bro, what?" I moaned, my voice trembling. "I'm not a faggot."
"That's just the weed, dude," Max replied, his voice low and husky. "You're gonna love it."
"Please, no," I moaned, but I knew he was right. I was so turned on, and the weed was driving me wild as my neck and jaw began to fill out and widen, my Adam's apple growing into a large, meaty knob.
I moaned as my voice deepened, the vibrations reverberating through me, causing me to shiver, my speech becoming permanently relaxed, just like my roommate's.
"Fuck," Max groaned, going in for a slobbery, wet kiss, our body heat generating enough stink to make me gag.
My body was now covered in matted, swirly body hair, and it was growing thicker and greasier, the same thing happening to my chest. I could feel my pecs bulging even more as my face was being smothered in kisses and licks, my nose cracking into a previously-broken shape and the skin becoming rough and scarred.
"Oh, fuck, dude, you're so fucking hot," Max moaned, burying his face in my thick neck, his voice muffled by the hair.
"No, please, bro," I moaned, my voice cracking. "I can't take it, it's too much."
"You can do it, bro, just hold on a little longer," Max replied, his voice shaky.
My tongue grew thicker and longer, and it started to loll out of my mouth, my face cracking into model-level handsomeness. I was so turned on, and I couldn't take it anymore. My balls were throbbing and pulsing, and my cock was throbbing and pulsing.
"I'm gonna cum," I moaned, my voice deep and slow.
"Do it, bro," Max moaned, his voice trembling. "Do it, cum all over me, bro."
I felt his fingers run across my short hair, sending a shiver down my spine. My body was wracked with pleasure as I felt ropes of rancid, stinking cum shoot from my cock, splattering his chest and stomach. I couldn't control myself, I was moaning and groaning, the intense orgasm rocking my body, my new, masculine frame shaking and quivering.
With each rope, my bright green eyes became dimmer and dimmer, coloring grayer and grayer as all of my worries and stress flowed out of me, and I fell into a state of bliss, my cock still twitching and throbbing as the last change began. My hair grew longer and thicker, until it was a long, shaggy, dirty mess, and a fresh wave of fresh musk rose off me.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck," I moaned, my voice deep and slow, my tongue lolling out of my mouth.
"Fuck, dude, you're so fucking sexy," Max moaned, his voice cracking. "I can't believe it, dude. You're, like, totally a stoner now, bro."
"Haha, yeah man...wait bro, haven't I always been?" I looked at myself in the dingy dorm mirror, and realized I looked like a dumb, stoned idiot. My voice was deeper, and my accent was different. My hair was messy and unwashed, and my skin was tanned. My pecs were massive and my abs were rock hard. My cock was huge and throbbing. My feet were hairy and stinky. I had a huge, round, bubble butt.
I laughed a deep, airy chuckle.
"That's right" Max said, staring into my dull eyes. He seemed like the hottest man I had ever laid eyes on until I realized.
"I love you, dude." Max giggled.
"Yeah man, I love you, too" I slurred, leaning in for a sloppy kiss, my tongue probing his mouth, the taste of weed and sweat overwhelming. He returned the favor, and soon, we were a mess of sloppy, stoner kisses, our thick, stubbly chins rubbing together, the sound of slurping and licking filling the room.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck," I groaned, the kiss ending, both of us breathing heavy and panting, a mixture of spit dripping from our chins. "That was, like, totally amazing, dude."
"Fuck, yeah, bro, it was fucking awesome," Max groaned, his voice trembling. "I've been waiting for this for, like, ever, bro. It's fucking crazy."
"Yeah, dude, totally," I replied, staring at his gorgeous, masculine features. His big, thick arms, his perfect washboard abs, his massive pecs, and his perfect, handsome face. He was fucking hot, and he was all mine.
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yeslordmyking · 2 years
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"Be you, at least for once..."
Like always, it's like he knows exactly what I'm going through and knows all the things I want to hear.
He's been through so much pain...
And now I can't give him my support to make it better anymore.
I wish I'd known you were something I had to lose. To choose to get rid of even though you make me smile 🥺
I feel gutted. But... I can't love anything more than God. No idols before me... May it please the Lord. May all our pain please the Lord. Eventually. Somehow. 💔
#if only i could jackson... 😭😭😭#if only our natural human selves wasn't wired to offend and betray God. if only the things that feel good were right#if only even... things like liking and seeing the good in other people who are just sinners like me wasn't smth i needed to stop#because i will always love you and see something beautiful in you even if i never let myself be a fan of and enjoy anything ever again#everything you're saying about knowing myself and being myself... when i know that God wants us to deny ourselves.... i.... can't#as beautiful and comforting and inspiring those words are i know i have to do what God wants instead of what i want. always#i can't trust that what i want is good for me. i have to let God show me what's actually good for me and my soul#ny 'gut feeling' could be deception of the devil and flesh. my life doesn't matter. just my soul.#i worry that our wants and dreams can replace God. i can't let that be a possibility#i hope that you're chasing things in your life that God has placed in your path. i worry about you just like you worry about your fans#that's why i can't make myself stop praying over you no matter how much i convince myself that it's dumb or a waste of time#because.... because i think i love you too. whether i really do or not who knows. i hope i really do love you jackson#maybe i'm not allowed to love you the way i want. maybe not in the way the world understands love and support. but I'm trying to love you#and I'm trying to let you go and let God do what I'll never even be able to fathom for your life and your soul. i don't want to let go#I've let go of everything about myself. it's all still there but i don't engage in it anymore. you're still there#clearly me posting this is proof that i'm a failure to die for God and give Him full control without involving myself#you helped me believe that i didn't have to do this to myself. to kill my dreams and everything in my heart to be an empty vessel for God#i wish my heart would let itself believe your words again. would let me believe it was ok to love you#if it's wrong to hold you in my heart despite trying to stop then i pray God has mercy on me on the day of judgment#because i still love you. and i don't understand why i should stop loving someone i see pieces of God#i can't stop loving you because i don't have faith that God's got you. I've seen it. maybe. I've convinced myself that God is in your life#I've convinced myself that i care this deeply about a complete celebrity stranger so i could convince myself of anything i want to believe#i wish i could convince myself that.... nevermind. i just had to vent and cry over another beautiful thing that i'm losing#i want to stay. i want to be part of your loved ones that you support. would God ever allow it? would i recognize it if He did?#take care of my beautiful Jackson. Your beautiful creation Jackson. please#no matter if i never know about it. I'm trying to get better so i can get to Heaven. i want to see Jackson there too#jackson wang you are my only true love#my baby boo#super secret fanfirl queue#i'll probably delete this later
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baddestboy · 1 year
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"Katsuki, I had such a bad day today." You pouted at your phone, talking to your boyfriend on video call while he was currently away on a mission.
"Who the fuck ruined it, baby? I swear I'll beat them up, especially if it's Dunce Face or S–"
You giggled a bit, making Bakugo stop his rambling and just looked at you like you were the crazy one. 
"It's not a person, you dummy. It's actually my laptop, it suddenly broke down when I was almost done with the report I was having a hard time with. Good thing it was saved on the cloud before it gave up, but I'm still bummed about the other files I can't retrieve until I have it repaired tomorrow."
Bakugo seethes on the other side. "When I get back, I'm buying you the fuckass most expensive laptop available so it won't break easily, and get my fucking hero support to make modifications so it won't break again. Good thing that piece of shit lasted long enough."
You hummed, flattered that your boyfriend cares about you so much he was... mad at your laptop? You smiled at him through your camera.
"I don't think that's what your supports should do, baby. They have more important things to do, like I don't know… Optimize the hero Dynamight's support items?"
"You smartass. They're on my payroll anyway so they should be able to do this request."
You let out a loud laugh, and Bakugo looks at you through the screen with a mischievous gaze.
"Actually, baby. Can you put your phone down on your laptop for a minute? I'm just trying to see something."
"Why?" You looked at his face, confused, but he just smirks at you. "Just do it for me, okay?"
You shrugged and got up, walking over to where your laptop was and placing your phone on top of it. Bakugo's booming voice the next second surprised you.
"YOU SHITTY FUCKHEAD LAPTOP! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD INCONVENIENCE MY SMARTASS LIKE THAT. IF YOU HAVE BEEF WITH THEM BLAME YOURSELF FOR YOUR SHITTY PROCESSOR AND GPU. YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG PERSON I'M LITERALLY THEIR BOYFRIEND, THE GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GOD DYNAMIGHT. TRUST THAT I WILL BURN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERBOARD TO A CRISP WHEN I GET BACK FROM THIS SHITTY MISSION…"
It was so unexpected that you started laughing so hard, tears running down your eyes as you slowly sat down on your bed, trying to catch your breath.
You grabbed your phone while Bakugo was still ranting, talking about the slow and painful death that the laptop was going to have in his hands. "Katsuki, the hell was that?" You wheezed out in between your fits of laughter.
Bakugo stops mid-swear and looks at you confidently. "Open your laptop." "Babe, I literally told you that it won't boot up anymore." 
"Just trust me on this, okay? When was I ever wrong?" You rolled your eyes and moved your phone to your other hand to press the power button. "Well, did it work?" He looked at you expectantly.
The laptop fan whizzed, the power button lit up, then the screen lit up momentarily.
You held your breath in anticipation… But then it died down.
You started laughing again due to the sheer absurdity of the situation, and you could see Bakugo scowling on the screen as you made fun of him. "You were so sure too! You thought that threatening it would work, as if the laptop could understand you!"
"I'm hanging up."
"No, wait! Let's talk about it more! I'm literally Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight? Why'd you introduce yourself to an inanimate object? I have so many questions!"
"Fuck off."
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"Look, Steve, I don't have any bad feelings towards you," Eddie says, has been saying, talking nonsense, like he and Steve weren't anything more than fuckbuddies, like he isn't breaking Steve's heart. "I used you too, y'know?"
It's then Steve rears back like he been slapped. Or punched. It feels more like a gutting. Joke's on him, he supposes. Once again, he wants more than the other person. He wanted a boyfriend, Eddie'd wanted sex. Why does he keep trying? When Steve finds his voice to speak, it comes out flat and dead and not really like a question at all. "Used me. Like you think I've used you?"
Eddie shrugs, looking for all the world like he's not bothered by that statement. "We had fun, right? So it's all fine in the end."
"Fine," Steve repeats, hollow. They're in his house but Steve feels the need to leave, to run before the reality of how unlovable he truly is sticks inside him forever.
"But I think we should stop while we're ahead," Eddie continues and Steve wonders if Eddie is listening to him at all, or just saying his piece before he goes. Can he not hear Steve's heart breaking? "I want to... I want to find someone to love."
If Eddie's previous words felt like being gutted, these ones feel like cement. Heavy and solidifying. Trapping in the truth of Ever Unlovable Steve. He doesn't even feel heartbroken anymore. Just numb. Dead inside. He should say something encouraging. Let Eddie know that all he's wanted was for Eddie to be happy and loved. But words seem impossible, so he gives one jerky nod of his head. An understanding.
"Right," Eddie says, returning the nod before turning away, towards the door, "I'll just go now. Umm, see ya later, Harrington."
Facing the horrors of the Upside Down should feel like the scariest thing he's ever done but it doesn't. Watching Eddie walk away does. Steve should be able to hold it together long enough for Eddie to leave. He's the tough one. He can hold himself together no problem-
"Why can't you love me?"
Eddie whips back around, an expression on his face like confusion and anger mixed.
It's only then that Steve realizes he spoke. He hasn't meant to. He was going to let Eddie walk away but now his voice has been freed from the cement. His heart has shut down his brain it seems because he just keeps talking, voice flat and hollow, "why can't you love me the way I love you? What is so broken and wrong within me that no one loves me back? My parents, Nancy, now you. Why can't- I thought that we were- where did I go wrong?"
"What?" Eddie asks, and the anger is gone from his face but now he just looks horrified. Which is understandable. It's horrifying to be loved by Steve Harrington. "What did you think we were?"
Boyfriends. Together. Going steady. At the very least, dating without labels. But none of those very reasonable, normal answers come out of Steve's treacherous mouth. Because Steve can't seem to be a reasonable, normal person. He's got to be too much, too soon, too clingy. So, instead, he says, "In love."
Eddie looks like he's just received the worst news of his life. In fact, he looks a little sick. "Oh fuck. Jesus Christ. I can't- I thought- Fuck!"
Steve just nods along. He hadn't actually said I love you to Nancy that night at Tina's Halloween party, but he imagines if he had, the beginning of the bullshit conversation would have sounded much the same as Eddie does now; like anger and regret, the starts and stops. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- if you want to go, you should go."
Eddie crosses the room back to Steve in half the steps he took when he first walked away, hands reaching to grab Steve's face between them. He speaks quickly and sounds panicked now. "No, no no no. I fucked up, misunderstood. I don't know how I got it so wrong. I don't want to go. I never did."
"What?"
"I am in love with you, sweetheart. I just- I didn't know you loved me back. I thought you didn't- that we weren't..."
"I thought we were boyfriends."
"Jesus, please let me fix this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I'll be the best fucking boyfriend you've ever had."
Steve thinks if he had any shred of self-worth he might step back, make Eddie explain himself, but as it is, he steps into Eddie's space and kisses him, hands pulling him as close as he can get. He doesn't want to think about the cruel things Eddie's said, about using each other. Maybe one day they'll have to hash that out, have that conversation, but Eddie says he loves him too, and that's all Steve's wanted.
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 5 months
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Hi! Finally able to request. I really enjoy your work!
Can you try a creator who use their power through music (like singing or playing instrument) in an Imposter-AU with the Archons? (The voice of the Creator is heard as the sound of nature like wind or water, though. No one knows their true voice)
Thank you so much.
🎄Merry Christmas🎄
Welcome @peaceindreams ! I'll see what I can do with Your Request :D
Also VERY LATE Merry Christmas—I'm writing this a few days after Christmas.
Archons Realize Reader is a MUSICIAN WOAHHH
To be honest, you were kinda just minding your business when the Archons found you and your ever-singing glory.
They SHOOKETH so good job! Let's nitpick at their reactions! >:)
(Warning: Might be OOC!)
Venti
Wisp boi HELLA SHOOKETH. But he also happi boi so good job!
Wants to hear your voice sing and not the wind just continues to gently smack his face. Don't get him wrong, he's probably the only one who can actually listen and understand and compute with what you're singing, but like he really wants to hear your actual voice. He thinks it'll be such a treat!
"Your Graceee...Is there a way to let these humble gods hear your voice? Pleaseee? This bard will make a ballad about it and the world shall start spewing about it right after!~ Hehe, it'll be a big hit, one as grand as your visage!"
He really wants to hear you sing now. Good luck explaining that you got no control over dis :)
Zhongli
GRANDPA ABSOLUTELY SHOOKETH. But he finds it pleasant to see that you're having fun and enjoying your time in Teyvat.
Unlike the airhead beside him, he cannot understand what you are singing, and he feels kinda disappointed that he can't enjoy it too. He would share the memory—
Ahem, anyways. Loves it, 100%. Bro's a huge supporter even though he legit has, like, zero comprehension of the situation. He's also giving Venti some bombasic side-eyes.
"Your Grace, please do not be pressured by this wind god. While it would be a stunning blessing, do NOT feel like you owe us anything." You know those memes where like, one person is forcing someone's head to bow while they bow to apologize to whoever got offended? Yeah, it's that one meme except it's Zhongli making Venti bow for his idiocy.
Grandpa wants to hear your voice fr this time, but bro's not gonna force it upon you. Grandpa will, nevertheless, share the memory over osmanthus wine, because "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I—"
Ei
Raiden Ei, Raiden Ei...I honestly think she feels like she doesn't DESERVE to hear you sing. Like, she feels like she just intruded on your personal space and she crossed some sort of line.
But the wind's pleasant and all of the surrounding area is practically glowing as you sing. Your voice practically carries throughout the place, becoming the nature, the water, the wind, everything.
"Your Grace, you need not heed to the request at all. We are more blessed to be in your presence enough." As much as she's getting more and more used to the present times of Teyvat, she's still kinda stuck in her ways a little. She still thinks of you highly and does not let her beliefs falter.
She really doesn't think she deserves to hear your voice, but she is also very curious. Never wants to push though because she's old-school.
Puppet Shogun looking at this and going "This will be forever engraved in eternity" as Ei is shaking the Puppet Shogun by the shoulders like "NO, WE SHOULD NOT BE HEARING THIS WHAT KIND OF PROGRAM ARE YOU ON I DID NOT PROGRAM YOU LIKE THIS—"
All in all? Mental crisis! :D
Nahida
Cute god loves you! She loves how the flowers bloom, how the wind flows, how the water speaks—not even analogies can describe the amazingness of it all!
She's grinning so wide with such wholesome-wide eyes, like an actual child discovering music for the first time or smth ykwim? IT'S ADORABLE IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
"Your Grace...is it possible if we could see this more? You don't have to, of course, but this is really amazing!" She's practically GLOWING with excitement and nervousness. While Nahida wants to hear you sing and see you enjoying your time, she doesn't want to push boundaries!
Safe to say, she'll support whatever your answer will be!
Furina
Girl's flabbergasted. She thinks she might have been sent to both celestia and hell because it was hard to compute whether she was trespassing or if she was being blessed.
Furina is utterly speechless to how your voice alone commands presence and power without even needing to try so hard. Anyone, absolutely anyone, can tell you are truly the Almighty Creator.
Though she's retired from being the Hydro Archon, she still has the slight dramatic flare she has had for 500 years. And she's got to say, she absolutely loved your performance!
"Your Grace, if I could humbly suggest a request on the behest of the follow archons beside me." Furina dramatically bows a little. "May we be humbled by your presence, and continue to gaze upon our unfathomed eyes of what a real god can truly do in the likes of the world? I'm sure this will bring many beautiful pieces of art—be it music, visual arts, dramatic arts, and so on!" Girlie doesn't realize she made a beautiful monologue about your singing on the spot, but one thing's for sure—she loves you and you singing, even if her ears can't understand it. It was still a beautiful piece.
After all, she was the All-Powerful Hydro Archon before she retired. She knows power and art when she sees it, and you bypass all forms of mortal concepts. You're practically her favorite musician!
Please grace her—I mean them—with your singing! It's too beautiful to miss!
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I am SAD I couldn't finish this when it was still AROUND CHRISTMAS SOBBING, but I hope y'all like this post, though! Hopefully my next post won't take too long—but I'm not gonna say anything because rn I'm EATING those words up like it's for breakfast lol—I'll see you all next time :)
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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Honestly? So much of Sonic Prime happens the way it does because Sonic is unabashedly, wholeheartedly neurodivergent, and I wanna talk about that in detail for several reasons
I think most people assume he has ADHD, and while I agree, I think they tend to leave it at "he's hyperactive and impulsive" when there's actually a lot more going on there.
For example, he lacks a filter. He says exactly what he's thinking, all the time, regardless of who's listening. I wouldn't be surprised if he does it as a type of vocal stim, considering that he talks to himself as much as he does to other people. Maybe he dislikes the way silence feels on his ears, too?
Something I noticed was that when Thorn gets on his case for this, asking if he ever stops talking, the way he says "eh, not really" sounds... almost resigned?
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He could have easily said it in a more jokey way, but his tone (and the wide camera shot) gives me the impression that this isn't a trait of his that he feels especially positive about.
It's not cool or funny to him, at least not in this instance; it's just something he does, which further proves to me that it's more of an unconscious stim than anything else.
On the topic of the jungle world though, it also shows us a couple instances of him not being able to read others' intentions very well. Prim lies to him about knowing what the Prism shard is, and Thorn uses him to get to said shard - and despite how hostile they are, he takes both of them at their word.
He only realizes Thorn's intentions after she hits him across the clearing - not for the first time that day, mind you - and Sonic berates himself a little for not seeing this coming.
But it's not like this is the only time he has difficulty understanding intent; just look at his interactions with Shadow.
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This is not the behavior of someone who understands why Shadow's picking a fight with him. He doesn't understand the implications of "you literally shook the world" because he doesn't know about the Weirder aspects of the explosion. In his mind, he just messed up a mountain.
Though I think his attitude implies another thing about his dynamic with Shadow that might explain why he was so quick to dismiss what he was talking about, which is. I don't think Sonic usually understands why they fight??
Shadow is a person of few words and Sonic has a hard time picking up on subtleties, that's a recipe for miscommunication already. And if Sonic's already predisposed to thinking that Shadow fights him Just Because, then of course he didn't take this particular instance seriously.
Though going back to "he only registered the physical effect of the explosion," Sonic is actually pretty consistent with understanding things that are tangible a lot better than anything else. Case in point: that One Palm Tree
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His first reaction to seeing it presented as a gift is that it must be a trick. because he doesn't see the tangible point of the tree, and isn't enough of a symbolism guy to see the sentimental point of it, either.
Don't get me wrong, he is being insensitive here, but I don't think it's on purpose in any way. Look at his body language and expressions:
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Even as he's getting on their case for being too sentimental, he's not unhappy or uncomfortable with them. He's just completely failing to recognize that this was supposed to be a big deal for them, so he's treating it way more casually than is appropriate.
Which is like. a classic social flub for neurodivergent folks
(Quick side note - this specific "huh" that he makes as Tails is flying away before Sonic realizes he's upset is a whole mood. I don't know how to explain it but this is Exactly what it feels like when you can sorta tell something's not clicking but you don't know what yet)
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(Look at him. brain static)
I could go on with the detailed explanations but some of that would just be me repeating past posts I've made, so I'll leave it at "he is clearly not handling change well either" and link back to an example.
So anyway, this is what I meant when I said that so much of the show is impacted by Sonic being neurodivergent. It affects how we hear his thoughts as viewers, it affects his ability to understand and connect with his friends, it's why he dismisses Shadow, it's why he impulsively smashes the Paradox Prism, the list goes on.
And he's not stupid because of any of these traits, either. None of what I've described has to do with intelligence, but I've seen "Sonic is too dumb" as a reason to criticize the show, and that's just not what's happening here.
If anything, I'm actually really impressed with how well the writers have managed to portray a more nuanced take on what a character with ADHD would look like. Because he's not just being hyperactive and chatty, you can tell it affects how he perceives things too.
Which is a much bigger part of the overall experience, and it's really cool to see in a cartoon like this - and in the lovable main character, to boot! Who cherishes his friends despite his struggles to understand them! Why is it so good!
In conclusion Sonic is the ADHD king we both needed and deserved, thanks for coming to my TED talk
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gotholdladywithadhd · 2 months
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Unpopular opinion, probably.
So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.
I'm taking it at face value.
Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!
I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.
As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.
Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.
That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.
It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.
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They'll get there in the end though!
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