#i don't trust people who only accept nice expressions of trauma

[whumpbby]

I think the best take I've seen today is someone justifying being anti-JC with the argument that "it's been 13 years and he still didn't get over it! He's still angry! He yells at people! No one deserves to be yelled at!"

I mean, yes? That's how trauma works? You don't 'get over' stuff with no support. It's not pretty, but it's life my dude. Some people get hurt and then spend the rest of their life defensive and unfriendly. He was clearly put together and approachable enough to build a very wealthy, respected sect, and raise a child, so he didn't spend all that time wallowing in despair, did he?

I mean, against what people like to proclaim, Lan Wangji also didn't move on. He goes out and fights things, but his irrational anger towards JC is still alive and well, he didn't get over anything by understanding the situation everyone were in. He wasn't interested in asking how the hell things got so bad or why his own golden brother (who had 100% more clout than JC) didn't do anything to step in. He doesn't yell, but he's a dick nonetheless. Does JL deserve LWJ being a dick to him only because he doesn't like his uncle? Does he deserve Jingyi acting like a dick towards him because Huanguang-Jun also does, so it's safe?

No one moved on in this story - the war left them all shattered. They all commited atrocities. They all have regrets. Barely anyone gets any closure. Wei fucking Wuxian didn't move on - he just died and came back right after, and then ran from the hard questions because he didn't have the bandwidth to deal with them at the time. As you do when traumatised.

Dislike the man all you want, but the argument is just.... JC didn't stub his toe 13 years ago, he lost his entire extended family and was left to pick up the pieces. Thirteen years of being angry at the world is nothing.

[yanderes-galore]

Hi! May I request a Yan X-Tale!Chara concept?

Thanks!!!

　- 🪷🪼

Sure! Wasn't exactly sure what to call him but I hope you enjoy this :) I recently started Season 2 of Underverse. Take this as an AU (Ironic) where Chara is an adult for both Season 1 and 2 (I ALSO JUST LOVE HIS ADULT DESIGN IN SEASON 2, HELLO? I WANT TO SEE MORE?) This mostly just focuses on behavior anyways.

Sorry if plot is a bit messy, I wasn't sure what even in the story you wanted me to focus on so I just... let my mind wander. I got too excited about writing him I didn't make it full coherent so... here's pure brainrot (?)

Yandere! X-Tale/X-Event! Chara Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Sadism, Trauma, Clingy behavior, Possessive/Protective behavior, Kidnapping, Attachment issues, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Chara certainly wishes for a time where he could be happy and peaceful again.

Despite what he's done, he ultimately wanted to make one true timeline where people are happy.

It doesn't excuse what he's done... Part of him knows that.

His tale is a tragic one and your first few meetings certainly aren't the best.

Chara is used to betrayal, so letting anyone nice near him is difficult.

Maybe you're trying to help Ink, Sans, Fell, and Swap?

Chara may have met you when he was still a phantom with Cross.

That or maybe you were also part or his old timeline, reborn into something new?

There's many possibilities of how you could've met him.

What's true for all of them... is he begins to cling to you.

Maybe deep down he wants to think he has a chance of being better.

Or maybe he just wants to toy with you like all the rest.

Your kindness makes him feel bitter... Yet at the same time he knows he craves it.

You may not like him... But in some way he likes you.

Perhaps you remind him of simpler times.

Maybe you yourself are even a human, one who wanted to help all those copies go home.

He knows you want to help....

However, this whole issue is bigger than you could ever imagine.

Helping him only puts you in danger... Especially when X-Gaster is free.

There's an infinite amount of possibilities for how you can meet, this is the multiverse after all.

Chara's intrigue starts with Cross.

Even as a phantom he notices you and takes interest.

He sticks to his goal... steal code from timelines... appease Nightmare...

But even Nightmare notices the emotions that stir within Chara.

He can tell the human wants to reach out to you in some way.

Perhaps you can be a reward.

When Chara first gets close to you, overpowering Cross as much as he can, he isn't sure how to express his interest.

So he ends up toying with you, body often glitching between that of the skeleton he hosts and himself.

He comes off sadistic, interrogating you about your own timeline.

Occasionally he probably drops hints of interest, although with his grin you don't know if it's genuine.

Another time he meets you is when he's utilizing US! Chara's soul.

Using a human soul he's more stable.

His true form shows and he's often distracted by you.

He hates that you huddle so close to Ink... the traitor.

While he torments US! Sans + Papyrus, he'd probably try to strike up conversation with you or something.

He openly admits his interest at this point..

He offers you a proposition... stop trusting Ink and come with him to start a new universe.

Regardless on if you accept or not, he'd probably try to take you anyways.

Writing for X-Chara gets confusing around the time X-Gaster comes into being.

So for now, let's say eventually X-Chara takes you back to his universe.

With US! Chara's soul, he manages to hold his form enough to communicate with you.

Chara probably reflects some of the mercy feel in his soul towards you, much to Nightmare's distaste.

He may even tell you his story, he isn't sure if he's asking for sympathy or some sort of opinion...

But you seem to want to help him, don't you?

With a Human Soul, he can finally use OVERWRITE again.

He could try and use it on you to make his perfect life.

Especially since you've managed to plague his mind all this time.

Chara may even admit his hopes to you.

He wants to make a timeline where everyone can have their Happy Ending.

Including you and him.

Yes... he's done bad things... but it's for the greater good, no?

So... trust him... he can make you happy.

If you don't comply, well...

He can make it work since you drive him downright insane.

Chara isn't sure what to do with these emotions he has towards you.

It's been too damn long since he even had these....

Chara would do his best to make you compliant in creating something new with him...

New emotions... a new universe... new everything.

Although, even now X-Gaster manages to ruin what he was doing.

When Ink releases X-Gaster and Chara's killed before being revived...

I imagine Chara would want to make a deal to stay compliant.

Sure... in 0.4's Epilogue he sees all his friends and family again.

But there's one thing he wants more than anything.

"Bring them to me."

The request surprises X-Gaster.

Chara's emotions bring him distraction... yet it intrigues him that he wants you of all things.

His brother's back... his universe can come back...

But he wants an anomaly such as you?

I think it would be interesting if X-Gaster complied on this deal and targeted you.

Anything to keep the brat quiet.

One way or another, Chara plans to involve you in his new life.

You will obtain perfect happiness in a perfect universe together...

Even if he has to rely on X-Gaster right now to get it.

[spicedfink]

Break down of Lumpy Space Princess (or something? Idk)

LSP is one of the few characters we know the age of being listed as 15 when Finn was 12/13 so we know by the finale she's 19 or 20 years old

The basic time line is that she lived in lumpy space and only visited Ooo every now and then before getting into an arguments with her parents and running away to prove she can make it on her own

LSP then spends a good chunk of her teenaged years living out in the woods

LSP has complained about her parents through out the series and even gone as far as to compare them to monsters in her Fionna and Cake fanfic - the show frames these complaints as unreasonable. The problem with this is that children rarely act out for no reason and she continues to resent them even when she's had time and distance away from them

Her parents think she acts out on purpose - this sort of mentality made LSP feel like they saw her as a villain and was extremely frustrating since she didn't actually understand what she was doing wrong

Her parents are at the very least don't know how to meet her needs at worse are intentionally abusive towards her (there isn't really enough shown of them to determine a solid placement)

LSP has a hard time understanding how her actions effect others and is easily upset when people express displeasure with her - either from the delay between her actions and their reactions or she has a knee jerk stress from past experiences (probably from authority figures)

LSP is deeply insecure. Her insecurities can be seen in cases like risking life and limb for a plump lip potion, punching herself smooth for "the nice king" and when she asked Finn and Jake to preform plastic surgery on her to make her hot

Her confidents isn't faked however, her desire to change isn't based on how she actually feels about her body but instead based on wanting to be liked by others - a theme in LSP's story is wanting to be liked by others (especially romantically) Even though they don't really change how they draw the characters much it could also be implied that LSP's insecurities came from the changes her body had during puberty

But also Brad messed her up. They had an on again off again relationship where Brad would date her friends to make her jealous and ignore her boundaries and yet LSP spends years focusing on their relationship. He's a creep who tore LSP down and made her think she was somehow underserving of anything better

When LSP got with Johnnie it showed her as really supportive and loving, the second she was flirting with someone who actually liked her back it went smoothly things only went wrong when Johnnie said she couldn't go to the dinner because it's a private business dinner with PB. She immediately thinks PB is trying to steal him from her, this is a clear reflection of her trauma from having Brad betray her trust and playing with her feelings so much

Side note on "Bad Timing" PB threaten to go to war with lumpy space because LSP was being rude despite knowing full well LSP has very little if anything to do with lumpy space's politics at this point (girl is homeless and PB is treating her as if she's a spoiled brat with a sliver spoon in her mouth)

I'm going to have to mention "Breezy", I know we want to collectively ignore it but I want to make a point about what this suggest about LSP's character. Her actions are a reflection of her own boundaries having been crossed repeatedly through out her life and she was told by the people crossing them that they weren't doing anything wrong which leads to her thinking that's what normal people do. It doesn't make it right but it's insight towards her world view where she rather see it as normal behavior then accept that people she cared for didn't care about hurting her

On how LSP communicates with others, she knows that other people don't say what they mean and that she is suppose to read between the lines but she doesn't know how so that leads to misunderstandings as she fills in the blanks (alt she's filling in the blanks based on lumpy space's social norms and can't wrap her head around Ooo having different ones) I think the best example is in "Gatcha" when she assumes Finn is in love with her because he's being nice to her and ignoring the part where she's flirting with him (he isn't taking her too seriously and doesn't know what she's talking about) The problem is others don't try to talk to her in a way she can understand: they get annoyed, frustrated or feel it's pointless so they ignore her. They yell and lecture at her for doing things wrong (she can't understand what people are trying to tell her when they lecture). Or they walk on eggshells and treat her like she'll go off at any random little thing, they just go along with what she says to keep her happy or go out of their way to make sure she doesn't get frustrated because they don't want to deal with her

The exception is Marceline. In "Princess Day" Marceline compliment LSP showing an appreciation for her bad girl behavior, she doesn't tell her she was in the wrong and supports her actions. This leads to them taking things too far but at no point does Marceline shame LSP for it, Marceline also owns up to her own part in the escalation. When LSP expresses concern about if these actions mean they're bad people Marceline doesn't dismiss LSP's feelings on this, she instead explains her own view saying she doesn't think there's such a thing as a "bad person" and that people just make mistakes. This was the first time LSP was able to explore her own guilt without being shamed or told she hadn't done anything wrong. Marceline supported and validated LSP's feelings through out the episode. This was the kind of support LSP needed the entire time but this is the first time she actually got it

LSP wouldn't have been able to grow as a person without that connection. Up until that point LSP had been become more and more detached from others, lashing out with emotional fits. After becoming friends with Marceline however she seemed to regulate and truly mature

One thing that reflects her growth is in her date with Lemongrab, when he gets up to leave she says he's afraid of intimacy, which while this shows she's still putting words in other people's mouths at this point there is a key difference in the words she using and even the tone of voice she says them. She says it as if she feels genuine concern for him, it's not indigent or aggressive it's soft. And she isn't talking about how his actions reflect on her looks but instead she thinks it's an insecurity he's feeling. She wants him to be able to face this supposed fear not because she feels cheated out of her date but because she doesn't want him being personally held back by it (Lemongrab doesn't actually have this issue)

You can also see growth in the Elementals episodes where she's the calmest she's ever been towards Finn. She's still hitting on him (I'm assuming it's a reflection of the fact she thinks everyone else is stuck in these changed forms and is seeking comfort via romantic escapism)

The finale shows her growth the most. She went to war to aid PB compare that to when LSP barely helped Finn cure Jake and treated it like a huge inconvenience that she isn't responsible for (despite them needing a cure because she accidently bit Jake)

Marceline is LSP's closest friend but Turtle Princess is LSP's BFF Turtle Princess and LSP can talk for hours, they listen to the other info dump and love trashy books, romance and gossip. They have trouble talking about other things and both become uncomfortable if they try. Turtle Princess thinks LSP is really hot and cool and looks up to her a lot. LSP thinks Turtle Princess is also hot and cool and will hype Turtle Princess up all the time

In summary, I think she has a lot of trauma and made a lot of bad decisions but is able to grow once she has a support system with friends who actually care about her

[shrimpmandan]

What do you think about portraying problematic things in a good light in fiction? As someone who's more of an anti than proshipper, it baffles me when some people call out offensive portrayals of people belonging to marginalized groups but don't care when abuse/pedophilia etc. are glorified in fiction. It's totally fine to explore darker topics in fiction just out of curiosity or to cope with trauma but I think seeing traumatic things that happen to real people being glorified is kinda worrying.

I'd be glad to hear what you think. Have a nice day!

TL;DR: it's a recontextualization thing.

It's important to note of course that what someone finds enjoyable in fiction does not equate to what they find acceptable in real life, not 1-to-1, and it rarely ever correlates. That's not to say it never does, but I'll get back to that.

What I mean by "recontextualization" is that it can be a recontextualization of trauma. "If I portray my abuse as something positive or something that I wanted to happen, or that felt good, or that I was comforted and cared for afterwards-- maybe it won't hurt as much now." You can actually see this in real-world BDSM and the like, e.g. with rape victims using CNC to recontextualize and process their trauma with someone they trust and who cares about them. A lot of trauma victims see it as a reclamation of their sexuality, and you can easily apply this to incest, toxic relationships, and minor/adult relationships being portrayed in fiction as well.

But of course, it's not like you NEED to be a rape victim to have a CNC kink, yeah? 50-60% of women have one, and not all of them are rape victims. Some of them are drawn to the taboo. The power exchange. The "removal" of their autonomy in the context of a roleplay. That doesn't mean those women glorify rape, or think rape is a good thing. It just excites them, whether sexually or nonsexually. Would the same not apply to taboo relationships being explored in fiction-- the good, the bad, and the ugly?

I think you could also apply this to prejudice in fiction, to a degree. There's always this assumption that those types of works-- those involving raceplay, misogyny play, homophobia / transphobia play, and so on-- are written by bigots. Or that the only way you COULD enjoy that content is if you're a bigot yourself. News flash? I'm a bi man and I adore when homophobia is present in fiction. And that could include exploring the perspective of why someone might think homophobia is a good thing, or it being nothing more than a component to some vapid smut. There are PLENTY of minorities who project their trauma with dealing with prejudice into their works, and you can apply that 'recontextualization' argument here, too. A woman who has a misogyny kink as a way of reclaiming her oppression and for the illusion of having her autonomy violated, even though she consents to and has just as much power as her "aggressor" in the fantasy scenario, just as an example.

Of course, this all isn't to say people don't make bigoted or deplorable content for the EXPLICIT purpose of normalizing certain things or causing harm. Propaganda cartoons exist, wrought with racism and sexism and homophobia. There are people who genuinely believe that pedophilia is a good thing, or that BDSM relationships are abusive.

Anti-censorship is not anti-criticism and I feel like that might be where you're confused; you can support freedom of expression wholeheartedly while still critiquing the way something is portrayed in fiction, whether it be something taboo like incest, or something heavy like prejudice. The issue comes in when we accuse ALL portrayals of these things as being glorification. When we throw victims of oppression and trauma under the bus for not expressing their trauma in the "right way", whether it's "too heavy" or "too light-hearted". When we hound authors by immediately assuming malice and hate as opposed to ignorance and an opportunity for growth and education. When we put fanfiction writers who get maybe a few thousand hits tops on most of their works on the same scale as published, best-selling authors.

Yes, these things happen to real people. That's why we write about them. I think I'm pretty much allowed to glorify whatever I want in fiction when I've lived through nearly everything taboo, disgusting, and harmful you can think of. And hell, just because I have a thing for kidnapping doesn't mean I'm disrespecting my mother who was actually kidnapped in the actual real-world by an actual predator. Or is the taboo and traumatic only bad to portray as anything but "100% bad" when it comes to things that make you personally squirmy?

[aquariclily]

🔞 Minors do not interact! 18+ only, & preferably 20+.

⠀General Roleplay Information!

All my blogs are listed here!

I personally prefer long RP stuff to be discussed through messages or Discord as I value OOC trust & communication. However, I'm good with filling in interest checkers as well.

I accept most inbox submissions, even for non-(Tumblr)roleplayers. But please don't expect for literally all inbox replies to turn into threads (though, you can ask.)

I can't consistently cut posts bc I'm generally on my phone & open Tumblr on the app.

I roleplay on both Tumblr & Discord. Discord RP's are a little more prioritized sometimes because it's more easy for me for short/more casual stuff. I'm open to try out other platforms if convenient.

NOTE: I am highly selective with my canons.

⠀Do Not Interact…

— DNI if your blog contains the following: Pedo/Incest/Bestiality/Anything Too Problematic (think of e.g. uncomfy~immoral/illegal taboo stuff, etc.) I really don't care what tf you're into - I just don't want to SEE these things on my dash. (Plus, I also don't want trouble.)

— OOC garbage behavior such as; Racism/Sexism/T.ERF/S.WERF/G.ender critical/M.AP/Z.oosexual/A.lt-right/Any discrimination or insensitivities to marginalized groups/etc. I will block that shit on sight.

— "Collectors". I block collectors on sight. I have terrible experiences with them. I usually block them on sight (for my mental health.) If you want your OC x Canon ship, you must offer double-up or leave me alone. Find some other blog.

— I'll repeat: No minors. Roleplay is for 18+ only, 20+ is preferred (not mandatory. This is because I'm 30+.) However, minors are free to follow my blog(s) if they are SFW. It's just that I don't want to roleplay with them.

— If I blocked you: Don't fucking block evade me!!

Notes: I block very liberally to curate my Tumblr Experience™ (it usually means that I just don't want to interact so don't take a block too personal) & it would be too laboring to fully elaborate on every small thing that just bothers me. (Along on how a lot of people on this website lack basic reading comprehension… not worth it. 🗿)

If you read this. Please don't worry about me blocking you out of the blue, I usually (kindly) confront people if we're mutuals for a while.

I admit that I suffer from trauma (C-PTSD) so curating my experience is very important. I don't want to list my specific triggers because it can be used against me but it's in the range of taboo/extreme stuff (what's in my DNI.)

⠀RP Do's…

— Just wing it. Don't get intimidated, I like casual RP's on Tumblr too. Don't worry too much about length/detail.

— Try to read the Blog/Muse Info's. Not mandatory, but it would be nice. This post is just the general RP rules (hence, it's posted on my main.)

— Be patient. Acknowledge that there is an actual PERSON behind the screen. I am not an AI. Don't treat me like one. I have my preferences, & prefer to stick in my comfort zone. And sometimes I get busy. Sometimes, I just want to do different things. Sometimes, I'm just too tired, moody, sick, or whatever reason. You can ask what's up when in doubt, though. It's fine. I'm just saying that I have a life, my preferences, and that I need my rest.

— Talk OOC, plot stuff, discuss dynamics between our muses, etc. I may fill in interest checkers but I personally prefer to work through messages. Interest checkers don't really work for me on my canons so I no longer do that. I value good OOC communication. This is how you get things done with me.

— If there is a problem, talk it out. Let's acknowledge that we're human and being humans means that we're flawed and we all can have our bad days; I want to keep my mind open and hear you out.

— Give attention, show some excitement; I gravitate to those who seem most interested & express it. Don't worry about ♥/reblog-spam lol, I don't mind. I like the attention.

— Come up with ideas. Talk about our muses & world-building. You could never ever bother me with genuine interest & passion. Passionate writers are admirable.

— If you struggle with coming up with ideas: Ask! I will not mind if you ask, because that indicates that you're interested! Which is a good thing. I'll gladly brainstorm for you.

— Drop threads & start new ones if you lost muse. It's fine.

— Take a break if you need it! ♥

⠀RP Don'ts…

And I can't stress it enough.

— Don't be weird. Respect my boundaries. I am very tired.

— Don't sexualize/romance the muses that are minors or child-coded.

— Don't godmod. Don't try to control my muse without my consent.

— Don't expect me to ship something if we haven't discussed it. Also don't be a jerk if I say "No". I'm still selective. Don't demand me to do double up for ships if I don't see you demand it to others & don't see it in your BYI/RP Rules. (It's unfair to put a double standard to me.)

— Don't disrespect my wishes and preferences in roleplays. I am not an AI that is willing to write literally everything. Don't get mad if my muse isn't going to act the way you want them to. Don't guilt trip me for retiring muses: My muse for things isn't going to stay the same forever.

— Don't pressure me to write things I'm not (or no longer) interested in. When in doubt, just ask. If you don't ask; I guess you'll just stay in doubt then! Sorry.

— Don't make OOC vagueposts & stuff like that. It makes me nervous and worry if it's about me. I also will raise a brow at you if you give OOC drama more attention than roleplay, this can result into me confronting you or even unfollowing you if we're not close enough. Outside that: I actually DO support callouts of genuinely shitty & problematic people with actual/proper evidence! I'd rather not want to end up interacting with e.g. someone who's predatory or weird around minors.

— Don't be afraid to message me!! I'd love to talk.

Discord…

— Feel free to message me for my Discord if interested. Be sure to have some clear information about yourself somewhere before I add you!

— My status often says that I'm "offline". I want to reply at my own pace.

— Even on Discord, I take my breaks.

⠀⠀♡ this post to confirm that you've read the "General Roleplay Information"!

— Message me if there are any questions! Don't be shy if you don't understand some things.

[elia-de-silentio]

Vanitas and affection: a complicated relationship

In light of recent chapters and waiting for the next to deliver our new dose of pain, I've decided to make a bit of analysis on how Vanitas relates to affection.

Vanitas enters this world, and gets the first of a long series of traumas. A classic: mother dies in childbirth, the baby is blamed for existing. Vanitas had internalized this thinking from his father ... or maybe it was a reasoning he made on his own (he says that his father 'must have hated him', but does not recall the man actually telling him so), and his father did not correct him - either because he subconsciously agreed or because he wasn't the most emotionally attuned man in the world.

After all, the only thing certain about Vanitas's father is his tendency to self-sacrifice: he abandoned his birth family and respectable profession to follow the woman he loved in her travelling caravan, even if he didn't like the rest of the people there; he gave up his life to save his son.

And this latter part is what furthers Vanitas's trauma, as he will feel an extra dose of guilt for causing his father's sacrifice.

After the death of his family, he is taken by the Chasseurs to be trained and become one of them. His strong hatred for vampires fueled him, and it's likely he was quite good at fighting, given what we see of him now. But alas, he caught the attention of Moreau.

Vanitas's damnation was his high empathy. As Luna will later point out, he would be able to escape; but Moreau had faked his death by killing a kid that looked like him, thus triggering his trauma of 'other people sacrificing for his sake'.

And then, he thought that even if he escaped, someone else would be tortured in his place. The reasoning is actually more based in self-loathing than reality, as attested by the existence of n.70 and 71; so he turned his reason for being there into trying to get more torture and lift it from the other children whenever he could.

Then he gets saved. Well, he likely doesn't perceive it like that, because Luna is a vampire, especially the Vampire of the Blue Moon whose blood Moreau injected him to try and turn him into a vampire. Nevertheless, there appears to have been a somewhat peaceful period between the escape from Moreau and the start of the series: we see Luna take care of him and Misha, giving them shelter, teaching them about malnomens and trying her hand at life lessons; we see little Vanitas do most of the chores, even if with a standoffish attitude; we see little Misha basking in the happiness of a somewhat stable and nice family situation.

Then something terrible happens.

It is revealed that due to Moreau's experiments, the kids are not exactly human anymore, but they aren't vampires either; their body can't substain this state of being, and they will die if they aren't turned into kins of the Blue Moon. Misha accepts, Vanitas refuses, wanting to stay human. Next thing we know, they are both kins of the Blue Moon with Marks of Possession, and Luna is dead.

As of the time of this writing, it is not clear exactly what happened; we know that Luna died, and that Vanitas played some role in it. Misha outright accuses him of killing her, but the framing of the actual events is quite ambiguous.

Vanitas, on his part, seems to have conflicting feelings: he says he wants to take revenge on Luna for drinking his blood, but when he's half-delirious, he mutters that he didn't really hate her; he appearently made Misha some promise that he didn't keep, and he is crushed by guilt as a result.

But whatever happened, his consent on the kin-making was ignored (just like it always happened in Moreau's laboratory) and another person that was close to him died either at his own hand, or because of him. And he gets some other trauma on top of an already long list.

Moreover, he was surprised to find out that Misha was alive. So, for some time, he believed the person who he loved like a brother was dead. Add good old grief to the mix.

So, we get to the Vanitas of the very first chapters of the manga. An outgoing, cocky individual ... a mask. After all, every time he has shown his actual feelings of anger and grief, it didn't turn out very well for him in the end, did it?

It also allows him to annoy and gross out people, specifically Noé and Jeanne. Nobody really likes his arrogance and pushiness, so they won't give him the affection he doesn't deserve.

Then, the aftermath of the Bal Masqué. Vanitas is provoking Ruthven, and Noé goes unexpectedly to protect him. To take risks for his sake. This already scares him, but then Noé has the gall to go and try to understand him! His reaction has to be more extreme: he flat out tries to attack Noé with a knife and tries to get him away, whereas he had been pretty much stalking him up to this point. But Noé refuses; and Vanitas is maybe just a little comforted and moved, enough to stop trying to push him away.

Then there is the Catacomb Arc, where a new character is introduced: Roland. He doesn't show spite to Vanitas, but still sees him with condescension, denying that he is acting out of his own free will. And this, to the former Chasseur who was left by the rest of them in Moreau's clutches, is untolerable. Roland means well, but he's going at it the wrong way.

After the fight with Roland, there is another argument between Vanitas and Noé. Vanitas does exactly what Noé had done before: shields him. This sends Noé on a sermon about how Vanitas, as a human, is weak and shouldn't take such risks, which infuriates the other boy: he bites back by calling Noé overconfident, citing the Ruthven accident as an example. This confuses Noé, because didn't he want him to become his shield?

I suspect that this was both Vanitas tendency to sacrifice himself for others, and a sign of tentative trust towards Noé. He does the same thing the vampire did for him ... and got rebuked, and called weak for his trouble. Noé's attitude is too patronizing to be seen as an actual sign of concern,and his already bad mood sours considerably.

Well, there is to say that after a similar crisis repeats itself a chapter later, complete with anti-vampire slurs on Vanitas part, Noè amends ... by using him as a fake hostage against Roland, which is still better that treating him as if he was weak.

Now, Noé might be naive in a lot of regards, but he is not stupid. From that moment onwards, he gets that Vanitas will be treated as an equal. He won't force him into dangerous situations, but he won't even treat him like he's too frail for it. He will be incouraging, but not condescending. And the result is that he actually snaps Vanitas out from his trauma-induced flashbacks, and gets him to be more open and trusting than he has ever been.

In the Gevaudan arc, Vanitas's emotional connections get shaken on two fronts: Noé 's and Jeanne's.

In this arc, he is the one to encourage and support Noé. He gives him advice on how to handle Astolfo; he gets worried about him when he's captured by Chloé (even if he expresses it in his own way).

He saves Noé from getting lost into Jean-Jacques's memories, listens to what he has to say, and concedes to what he wants, where at the start of the manga he was all 'my way or the highway'. He even almost (almost) admits that he was worried about Noé!

He still receives some actual support: demostrations of Noé's spirit which are good for the soul, and a proclamation that he believes in what Vanitas thinks about the origin of Malnomen, the first time a vampire says something like that. Vani plays grumpy, but he is obviously very shaken, in a positive way.

He finally shows Jeanne some actual support: he is cold to her after he was unwillingly vulnerable in her presence due to his illness, but pushes that aside rather quickly, in order to help her realize what she truly wants (saving Chloé instead of killing her) and that she's right to want it. He reminds her that she's a person, not a tool.

And she's grateful for it, and has definitely no qualms about expressing it. The result is that our hero spends days in blue screen, to then have a complete freakout at the possibility of being actually in love with Jeanne. He's so out  of it, he ends up oversharing his feelings of being undeserving of love to a Roland who he doesn't like and a Olivier he has never met before. Still, it's the first time he flat-out says his issues.

This brings us to his rooftop conversation with Noé. I really liked the vampire's behaviour here: he was comforting in a sort of roundabout way, à la Vanitas. He said that he is happy Vanitas is the way he is, even if he still doesn't like him very much. Translation: you're a way better person than you think you are, and you deserve to be loved. This is coming from a totally unbiased place, I'm not a weird person who would like you or something.

And this is the last conversation we see between the two of them: as of the time of this writing, Noé has been compelled to drink Misha's blood, and Vanitas has just arrived on the scene.

Vanitas has seen his self-loathing perspective challenged and has changed a lot in the span of a rather short time, and I really don't know how he'll react to Noé learning the details of his past; he sure won't want any form of compassion. Personally, I suspect he'll be very cold to Noé for quite some time, possibly even trying to drive him away, before a reconciliation.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

[wistfulrat]

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.

but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]

part 2: dramas

mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known

includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.

(Un)wanted by @aibidil​ - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.

Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth. 

Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home” 

Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson​ - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​ - 153k - T  this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.

Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise​​ - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.

Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.

Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3​ - E  “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.

A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).

Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx​ - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!

Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.”  i cry

The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

[strangertheory]

"anti-Mileven"

I know you submitted this as a message and not an Ask, but I hope you don't mind if I answer your question with a longer post because this is a topic that is important to me but is complicated. I've meant to do a post about this, but kept putting it off because it is a very layered topic for me and my thoughts about Mileven are probably not what a lot of fans want to hear.

I respect that everyone develops an attachment to their preferred couples in stories for personal reasons, and as such any criticism of the dynamic between two characters that are dating can feel like a very personal criticism. I respect everyone's head-canons and favorite ships as sacred ground: I don't want to tell anyone how they should or should not relate to a story. That's unique to each of us as fans, and we will all enjoy Stranger Things for different reasons.

However: I do have some thoughts regarding the way that the narrative has established the dynamic between Mike and El. And I personally do not find their dynamic *as it currently is* to be one that is ideal for either of them yet.

I really care about Eleven and I really care about Mike. They are two of my favorite characters in the story.

To say that I'm "anti-Mileven" is a huge oversimplification of how I feel about Mike and El's dynamic.

I am very much anti:

overlooking the fact El has been treated as a lab rat and abused and isolated from society for the majority of her existence and her ignorance of her own identity and her own desires is repeatedly reinforced canonically. ("How do I know what I like?") El has spent only a few months out in the world beyond her cell at the lab and beyond Hopper's cabin, she knows very little about the world yet, and she is being taught much of what she now knows by her boyfriend who also happens to be one of the few people she interacts with in her daily life. The power difference and social difference between them is huge currently regardless of whether Mike is a nice kid with good intentions or not, and they are both fourteen years olds.

overlooking that it is superficial and not representative of a "deep" relationship to only kiss and make out with a significant other and not do other meaningful activities that establish a real day-to-day relationship (like hanging out with friends and other loved ones as a couple.) There's a popular misconception that the act of two people kissing is inherently romantic and a sign of emotional closeness. But kissing becomes romantic psychologically when two people share a deep affection for one another that is based on shared experiences and emotional and psychological connectedness. If two characters can be shown to care about one another without ever physically touching, they have the potential for a deep connection that is based on more than the thrill of physical affection. Give me a well-developed relationship first, and then kissing will seem romantic to me. Without an established psychological and emotional connection between characters, kissing is merely a superficial representation of the idea of intimacy between characters without any actual substance underneath. Sure that's what kids do when they're figuring out how dating and feelings and physical intimacy work and it's not harmful in itself provided that they are both comfortable with it, but keep this in mind within the context of the other concerns I list here.

trivializing Mike's dishonesty and blaming Hopper for Mike's lying when the truth is Mike could have easily explained to El that Hopper didn't want them spending as much time together and having some space would be better. El is well aware of Hopper's dislike for their time spent together. This should have been a very easy conversation. As Lucas rightfully asks as Mike is ranting about the situation he got himself into: "Why lie?" Good question, Lucas. Good question. El asks Mike this again later at the mall. "Why do you lie?" Mike stares back at her with an awkward expression, and does NOT answer her. Why is this answer not an easy one? Why has Mike still not addressed things with El? I think there is more going on here than just Hopper's threats.

I am very in favor of:

El learning more about who she is and what she wants to do with her life outside of the desires and expectations of other people.

Mike figuring out how to effectively express his thoughts and feelings honestly. He is clearly struggling to do this throughout season 3, and it is uncharacteristic of the kid who defiantly said and did what he wanted frequently in seasons 1 and 2. Clearly Mike is not comfortable and is nervous, which is understandable for someone exploring new emotionally vulnerable territory like dating for the first time, but he needs to learn to be honest and tell people how he is thinking and feeling or else he is also putting himself and his feelings and needs at risk and potentially establishing an unhealthy relationship that will hurt him and hurt others even if he doesn't mean to. Mike's nervousness is STILL present in the final goodbye scene in which Mike and El talk, and El tells him she loves him and kisses him. He is still stumbling over his words and anxious, and he seems notably confused after El kisses him. These small details are not trivial, they are clearly intentional.

Recognizing that Mike is the first person her age that was kind to El when she escaped the lab, and given that she has only known pain and abuse her entire life and has never known friendship let alone romance that her psychological readiness for understanding a romantic relationship is NOT the same as an ordinary 14 year old's and this cannot be stated enough.

Recognizing that societal pressures and personal insecurities might be a huge factor in how Mike clings to El's attention and affection for him, and that there is evidence in the story that supports this interpretation. We know that Mike is bullied frequently, and that there is a layer of homophobia often involved. (Even if James and Troy were speaking rudely about Will, they were still directly confronting Mike. The implication is there.) We know that Lucas yelled at Mike "No Mike. You're blind. Blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you!" This reveals that Lucas knows that Mike is insecure and wants validation. Just because Mike has a desperate desire to be loved and liked by a girl does not mean that his appreciation of El's attention is based on his genuine romantic affection for her. Mike might be dating El because he enjoys the attention, he likes being liked, and he likes how having a girlfriend makes him feel more accepted and normal.

Recognizing that every moment that Mike has tried to share something that he is passionate about with El (the Yoda figurine, the dinosaurs) she has been completely disinterested. Since El has no cultural connection to the pop culture stories Mike loves and she lived in the Lab her entire life, it makes perfect sense that she will have no interest in these toys. Her lack of interest in what Mike is passionate about, however, is worth noting: not because it's a bad thing, but because it's just one of many reasons they are "not even from the same planet" and cannot bond and connect easily. El has lived an incredibly different life from Mike, has suffered through so much, and is still learning about the outside world and about herself. She is severely behind in social and personal development. She needs time to learn and to grow and to heal so she can live her best life and recover from what she has been through. (She doesn't really care about your Star Wars toys, Michael, because she just learned what a phone is and is processing a lot of other things right now.)

*I want to credit @kaypeace21 for pointing out many of these particular observations listed above: you can read her very detailed and extensive analysis in her post here: El is Not in Love with Mike.

These are just a few of many thoughts I have regarding Mike and El's dynamic together, and why I find the romanticization and idealization of their dating relationship to be more suited to fan-canon and fanfiction. For El to have a relationship with Mike that I would personally enjoy and appreciate, the story would need to convincingly allow her to establish a notably better understanding of who she is and what she wants, and have time to heal from her trauma and learn a lot more about the outside world. While I suspect that the Byers moving away will be very difficult for Will, in many ways I think it will benefit El tremendously and I hope that she is given more opportunities to learn and to grow.

I also agree with @hawkinsschoolcounselor 's hypothesis that Mike is projecting his feelings for Will onto El. It's impossible for me to see Mike's dynamic with El as entirely separate from Mike's relationship with Will because El was found in the woods when they were looking for Will in season 1, El helped everyone find Will in the Upside Down and saved his life, and El reappears at the end if season 2 and saves Will from the Mindflayer. Until season 3, El's appearance in Mike's life has been directly tied to Will's survival and safety. I do not think this is a trivial aspect of El's narrative. El's importance within the larger story being told is repeatedly tied back to what Will is dealing with. The reason that El and Will's narratives are so deeply intertwined has not been revealed in the story yet, but I suspect that there are some important aspects of El and Will's stories that haven't been fully revealed yet that will bring all of these seemingly isolated plot threads together. The creators of Stranger Things repeatedly tie El and Will together visually and narratively (re: @kaypeace21), and I believe there is a very specific reason for this.

I look forward to seeing what happens in season 4. Whether my interpretation of El and Mike's dynamic is fair or not, I trust the writers have a compelling next chapter in their story for us all to enjoy.

[queenaeducan]

8 & 10 love for ian & solas

ship meme | @gaysolavellan

8. Who is better at comforting the other?

In the beginning it would be Solas. To be fair to Ian, I don't think he'd necessarily be bad at comforting Solas, but Solas up until the point of Wisdom's death is doing a good job at pretending that comfort isn't something he needs. And even while he's putting up that front Ian still does offer him a lot of comfort, but the beginning of their relationship from Solas' POV almost by necessity brings him some internal strife just b/c of the things Solas is grappling with in accepting the nature of the world around him.

In addition to that, Solas has experiencing dealing with trauma and trauma responses from his time as a rebel leader. A lot of the comfort he grants Ian is validating his emotions and his experiences, and not being off-put by things Ian's been taught are wrong about him. Even in one of their first conversations where things end sour between them, Solas is still offering some degree of comfort by simply listening to Ian and being undeterred by Ian's stutter. It's not enough to save Ian from crying, but the fact that they both listened to one another has greater ramifications on their relationship going forward than either realised in that moment.

As they grow closer (and as Solas learns how to let him) Ian does learn how to comfort Solas, too. He's probably one of the only still-living people who can and the only one who knows Solas' own traumas with the intimacy that he does. Not to go way into my own personal Solas headcanons, but there are things Ian knows about Solas that Mythal never knew because rebellion distanced their relationship and he was always trying to make her think the best of him, there are things Ian knows that Felassan never knew because he was the rebellion's figurehead and thus needed to keep himself together for the People.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Solas prefers physical, but at the start of their relationship he needs verbal. One of the big things I stress when I write Solas is that without the Fade he's lacking a dimension, a physical sense that he relied upon more than any other. While he can use expressions and inflection to determine how people feel, it's never as certain as it was before the Veil, it's harder to tell if it's real.

Solas and Ian share their first kisses outside of the Fade, their first dream together happens later than it does in-game for Lavellan and Solas. When Joly and I wrote their first kiss Solas asks if he can kiss Ian, and then waits for Ian to invite him to kiss him again, because well. I like when people ask before a first kiss I think it's very romantic, but also because Solas is lacking a cue that makes him uncertain. So towards the beginning of their relationship verbal affection/assurance is something he needs, but as he becomes certain in what he is to Ian he needs it less, excepting tumultuous periods such as after Ian's personal quest where he's of the mind that Ian will want to end things with him. He did, after all, go directly against Ian saying he should remain Tranquil.

Ian is also physical over verbal, but needs both. That has more to do with anxiety than Fade-induced doubt. He's a very physically affection friend and it's how he expresses love, but for his own sake of mind he needs to be told nice things, as well. This becomes more true on bad days. He needs the reassurance that comes with "I love you" or as mentioned above, validation and reassurance that his trauma doesn't spoil him. Or, on a lighter note, he needs to hear Solas say he's enjoying himself to trust that Solas is enjoying himself.

Thankfully verbal affection is often Solas' first instinct.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon back again. I had a sort of writers block for the last like 2 days which made it really hard to do some questions, but I got em done finally. Sorry about the wait. This one is split between the numbered questions, and next ask is the other questions you asked!

I think I accidentally skipped a question in the last one. I honestly don't completely remember but in case I did skip it by mistake, the groups first travel out of the city's limits and even further beyond in a carriage. When they reach the end of how far the driver is willing to go they then get out and start walking. With Jackie screaming about how their finally going on a adventure. 

1: It thankfully doesn't get to to bad before the others notice. And he immediately told them about Dream, wanting to be very clear with what happened and what they where getting themselves into. But they accepted him anyway and helped him. 

2: Isaac is the leader cause Cletus is too much of a wildcard and too impulsive to lead safely, Charles is too shy to lead, and while Benjamin is perfect for leading he doesnt really like leading and is more of a follower than a leader. But Isaac can joke around and gets along with everyone but also be able to take things seriously and know when something needs to be handled.

5: They do not, they last for a few minutes and unless its a healing or regeneration potion (in which it can take a few days for it to fully go away) they have no long lasting affects. They do know of eachothers past to an extent, they know enough to avoid triggers and enough to know what not to do when around eachother. They know through telling eachother, and they feel awful Grievous and Jackie had to deal with that, but leave it in the past and focus on making their current life better. 

6: Yes and no, while Jackie did mean to throw it at Ran, he ment for it to just hit nearby him, not directly hit him. It was ment to be more of a scare/intimidation tactic than anything else honestly. Grievous's luck is for basically everything, he has won the lottery twice before actually but only those 2 times, he's correctly guessed how many items are in a container more than a few times as well. 

7: I use the height charts and they help mostly for comparison, problem is I have trouble applying it to real world stuff and because of that I still have trouble knowing if something or someone is to tall or short. Jackie can get very mean, like he can make fun of someone who just lost a loved one or experienced a traumatic event at the worst. But he usually doesn't get nearly that mean, most he does normally is making fun of how someone looks or how they do certain things. The others comfort him the best they can when he gets sad, and when he gets mean they either encourage it (Grievous), or discourage it and stop him (Watson. Ran is between either encouraging or discouraging it).

8: He was! He spent most of his life adventuring actually! He misses it somedays now since he lives in Subbin, but he believes giving up his adventuring life for a family and friends who needed him is a more than far trade and would happily pick his family over adventuring again. For around 4 years after Ran left Mizu (including the day he left), Ran traveled everywhere, and learned how to survive himself and taught himself different things, like sewing. Ran has made new socks, fixed clothes, and made blankets for everyone at least once. Watson also designs bows and arrows for show, for top functionality, and for just simple (training) gifts to the others. Ran (and Watson) has visited the nether, though Ran tended to stay in it longer than Watson cause he could withstand the temperatures better. And while digging a new tunnel across the nether he ran into ancient debris, which he then messed with until he figured out to mix it with gold and coat his sword in it. He tried to find more ancient debris but sadly hasn't found any, leaving his sword permanently damaged and at risk of breaking. Jackie isn't good at all at painting, its more of a hobby he's trying out. They try to camp out there at least once a week, where Grievous will sometimes build a pillowfort and either force everyone inside or play a game of capture the fort with them. Sometimes Ran will also read during the pillowfort nights, but not to often. Jackie wants to vist a Snow, Savanna, Jungle,  Tagia, and if possible, a Ice Spike biome. He also wants to vist the nether but he'll have to fight Ran on that. Ran and Jackie's secondary titles are in Javanese!

9: Ran just kinda went "Hey Jackie, stand still for a second." "Ok?" And then he just picked him up and threw up. 

10: When he's first given dinner after already eaten lunch, he just kinda stares at the food. Then asks if they meant to give him food, and when the others say yes, he asks why because he thought people only ate once every few days. His answer shocked the others and they ask him to explain, and he explains futher that he was only allowed to eat and drink once every 3 days. Their horrified by this answer but explain to him how theres 3 meals a day and he can drink whenever, he doesn't believe them at first but eventually accepts it. 

11: When the fishermen first come to Ranbob about their worry, he expresses the same worry as them. But says that it's unlikely Ran will hurt the fishermen specifically, because Rans haunting are already friends with them, and Ran wouldnt risk breaking the friendship unless he deemed it necessary for their safety. 

12: Ranbob is sad that Ran goes to such lengths to avoid him and keep people away from him, but he has resigned himself to it. As he knew that if Ran was alive it was greatly unlikely that he would trust him and knew he would be avoided. Which is actually particularly why he believes Ran will never trust him again and why he views Ran as a kind of lost family member. One he'll never get back no matter what he does.

13: Their first stop is a nearby flower biome, and after that Watson has planned to lead them to a waterfall he found with a shattered Savanna somewhat close to it. They plan to travel for a minimum of 6 months, they can actually travel for as long as they want to, but Prokius made them agree that they must be back before the next General Pit Battles (which happens once every 5 years). 

14: He would 100% run himself into the ground until he's barely alive while searching for them. Benjamin compares Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream, to an abused person wanting to go back to their abusive lover. They believe they've changed and that they truly do love them and want the best for them, but in reality that's not it at all and others have to help them see thats not true and help them save themselves. So it doesn't surprise Benjamin or Isaac that much (it surprises Charles and Cletus though), and after its explained to them, their all more than willing to help Ranbob get over Dream and help him be himself again.

15: Oh definitely. Once they hear the Green-Eyed Enderman is back from hiding they all set out again, and after the group gets attacked and once word spreads that its in a group and there's another enderman with them, they all get targeted. With the Gladiators and Fishermen being targeted as bait or hostages to try to trick the enderman into following a trap. Ran wasnt affected like his brother was. Im talking about trauma and maybe even a bit of PTSD that came from Mizu, caused by Dream. Though both of the brothers have gained different amounts of trauma and PTSD from Dream. I may give the raven to either Watson or Ran, I think its fits both of them really well. I want to have them come across ruins of other Tales but im not sure which ones. Maybe they could find the remains of the Wild West Tale and the Haunted Mansion?

Glad to see you, Brothers Anon, and excited to read!

1: The perfect start to an Adventure. And a funny mental image. Imagining these two groups cramped into carriages is pretty amusing. How ready was everyone to get out by the time they could?

2: The fishermen are really great, and Ranbob is very lucky. I love them.

3: Isaac sounds like he’s a pretty good fit for it then. But nobody’s perfect! What are some flaws of his, leadership-wise?

5: Interesting. What makes Regeneration and Healing last longer? I suppose it’s not relative to the AU, but I am a bit curious. What’s the world’s potions mechanisms, if you don’t mind me asking? And that’s good! They may not know everything, but they know what to avoid, and that’s important. Everyone’s moved forward and are making the best of life, and honestly, that’s pretty cool of them.

6: Welp, Jackie, it seems intimidation tactic failed. However, you have managed to anger Ran, so..there’s that. He won the lottery? Dang. Well, if they ever need money, they can just send him to the nearest casino, I suppose.

7: Aight, so I may have a solution for you there. Whatever height you’re going for, find something in real life that’s just about the same height. Like a tree, or something. Or not, we can always just leave it at short enough to be tossed and tall enough to be the tosser. Jackie sounds like he knows where to hit to make it hurt, honestly. It’s good that they comfort him, though I am curious why they all react as they do to him being mean. Why does Grievous encourage it? And is it more of a depends on the day thing for Ran, or a depends on what was said to Jackie, and what Jackie’s saying thing?

8: Nice! What kind of places did he go? Does he have any particularly interesting knickknacks from that time period? And Ran personally sounds like he knows what he’s doing. Watson’s weapons sound really cool, where did he learn to make them? Is visiting the Nether not a common occurrence these days? Or is it simply that the others never got around to it before? Well, hobbies are always fun to try. Does Jackie keep at it and get better or get bored and try something else? How does Capture the Fort go with these guys, considering they’re gladiators? Why does Jackie want to visit those particular biomes? Is there a reason, or do they just sound cool to him? And why would Ran not want them going to the Nether? Because of the danger?

9: FDXGHJ- He just- tossed him?? No warning?? Oh my gods, I’m dying. How did Jackie react to that? Heck, how did Porkius react to that? I doubt anyone was expecting that display.

10: Oh, no. Now I really want to punch Dream in the face. What the heck, Dream?! He legit asks if they meant to give him food...If one of the fishermen or gladiators doesn’t eventually find a way to punch Dream, I will be forced to travel realities and do it myself. 

11: Kind of sad that Ranbob was equally concerned about it. But hey! He won’t have to be, one day!

12: Poor Ranbob. I hope he’s proven wrong, eventually. Do the fishermen know that he thinks this? If so, how do they feel about it? Or does he kind of just keep those thoughts to himself?

13: Flower biomes are really pretty. What did everyone think about it? Did they bring any flowers with them? So this roadtrip could possibly go on for a few years. Did they leave just after a General Pit Battle, or do they have like, less than five years? Speaking of General, is Jackie still the General in this AU? Does he have extra duties because of it? Or is that not something that happened in this AU?

14: Yikes. Reactions to this? Why does Ranbob believe Dream’s changed, as you put it? Is Dream still able to talk to him, or is it because he just misses being there? So Benjamin and Isaac aren’t all that surprised about it. Do they take the reins in helping out? And how do they all do so? It’s good that they’re helping him though.

15: Well, this sounds like it can’t end well. They try to use the hauntings as bait? Is anyone actually captured? Rescue missions? And alright, that makes a bit more sense. I can see how they’d both be effected differently, and honestly, they’d probably both have very different perspectives of the event, all things considered. Ravens for the win! And it’d be really cool for them to come across the ruins of old Tales buildings. Can you imagine the kind of things they’d find? Diaries, faded photographs, moth-eaten clothes, blood stained floors...Like a walk in the past, but they’ll never know what came to be for the people of that time.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Ambian induces sleep walking.

It can cause vivid dreams and more.

So Ambian is given as a poison in my prisons

Its a legal and safe dose under the guidance of a doctor.

But also the side effects can be induced thus people can do things they normally would do without thinking or using brain efforts..

Users can easily become arrogant or egotistical thus provoking a fight with a guard as the,criminals in my prison requested, gabapentin does similar. But doesn't induce the vivid hallucinations. Only the quiet ones.

And so if you're in my prisons and you're daily taking Ambian I am asking you to request to To guards a safe drop off medication.

Otherwise you're at a risk for suicide and brain kick back of hormones causing even worse hallucinations.

Ambian is perfect for up to and including once or twice per week use of a the low dose..

Or two times per month at a max dose.

Ambian is an emergency reset of the sleep cycle medicine.

Ambian is being prescribed incorrectly due to the sanofi-aventis labs lying about the dangers of the medications.

We have incredible proof of the horrible side effects done to people on Ambian at high or mid level doses for extended period of times. But Greed as stopped them from telling the truth.

As i promised. Only the 7 deadly sins will be served in my prisons

I've taken it. The shit is a good high and good sleep

I had a friend who told me that she was prescribed it and she didn't need it and knew sometimes I would drink at night to sleep instead of taking pills

She had PTSD. She didn't tell me a lot but she was getting help. One thing she told me was that she was supposed to ride out and was late to because she was fucking her man and another girl took her place. The jeep hit a roadside land mine meant for her and blew the girls legs off and she's still alive and legless. And she knew had she gone she would have died. It was her time. So, she was Zulululu and stealing time and it cost a girl her legs. And she began to struggle only because she was my friend and i caused her to see truth.

So the Ambian gave her horrific nightmares. Of truth of her existence on Earth.

And so she gave me almost a full bottle of her prescription. Because she said taking it made her want to kill herself.

So yes i give them to my prisioners that have the opportunity to be luxury if they meet or exceed opportunity and they may have the stone doors slide open.

Alex Laughlin gained his for his ability to show true emotion. Including terror and fear. The ability to accept his situation with strength and solitude. The ability to show disappointment with respect to himself and those that disappoint him. He had self respect and he had respect of others. In fear of being raped, he ran. He didn't attack. When being disappointed with shells of animals in his pillow he didn't scream or shout or be disobedient, violent or disrespectful. He accepted his situation and merely again stated his wishes with equilibrium and a mature presence of sadness. "I just wanted pets" He was calm and gentle. And due to the extreme trauma we placed him through that he was able to express, the ability to trust him with the lives of small mammals was present. I am told y'all didn't understand.

But y'all saw the same as i did. Except I saw it in my mind and y'all saw it on the TV. He is one with his mind and heart.

His choices are environmental. As are Eric Trump's. So incarceration is perfect for a person like Alex Laughlin. Due to his close proximity to other life he is responsible for, he is not on Ambian.

Getting up in the night to strange a rabbit isn't good for a person such as him. And he has in the past slept walked and slept talked. While he's never harmed anyone. We do not want to provoke a "nightmare" in him to where he's confused or not in proper control of himself.

If the need comes then he will have the room closed and he will take his dose of Ambian in his original room but since he was traumatized in that room the potential of him to attack a guard is significantly increased especially if his pets are taken away during the 8 hours after Ambian is given. So that is an Extreme ounksh. The alternative is for him to be trapped in the room when he just goes in when he's told to and he's squeezed in the walls. That is his main punishment for big deals. There's level of minor such as food substitutions (stale white bread, mystery goulash, etc), media being removed or electric lights being limited. And other things.

But I took Ambian instead of taking shots of rum (up to 3) and it was amazing. I had the best euphoria and the best dreams and it was wonderful. But I felt drugged in the morning. So I didn't take it because I felt heavy and being awake was a nightmare.

The opposite of what my friend felt. So despite not being friends with her since New year's eve 2009, I still have the bottle of pills in my kitchen cabinet.

In one way or another, Ambian has the ability to make a person want to kill themselves.

As I promised my prisoners, I would not give them any thing I haven't suffered due to their kinds of crimes.

And i am telling them now, exactly as a Zulululu told me: "Don't take them if you have any bad reactions that is why i am giving them to you"

She was nice and sweet about it and so my guards are the same. They will not open the door and beat you for rejecting the sleeping aid.

There are safer alternatives for sleep and a system to safely ween by substitution of another supplement so the attempt of suicide doesn't occur.

Its been scientifically proven that Tylenol PM will cover both issues