#i dont care if this order is contradicted anywhere

[sandymybeloved]

these two

are the same incarnation of the master, I will be taking no notes at this time

[stingrayloveblog]

More side order criticism and complaining that you are under no obligation to read

I get that side order was a roguelike which apparently tend to be short? Idk ive never played one before but anyway that still doesnt justify the initial hype, the blatant change in aesthetics and plot (remember the first trailer? And the second trailer i think with the lobby doors looking VERY different and matching what we saw in the concept art trailer) almost last second fnaf security breach style, and the amount of stupid shit that happened throughout most of splatoon 3s lifespan since SUPPOSEDLY the games only gonna be getting updates for like, what, 2 more seasons? And its like wow we waited all this time and went through so much shit for a story thats hardly even a story. Once you unlock everything its just. Prlz grinding for gear to get.

It was fun! It was enjoyable! But it sucked and it wasnt worth all of that. Unfortunately i care a lot about splatoons lore and they didnt really go anywhere with what little lore they did have. They also contradicted themselves multiple times for a net zero lore gain anyway. This is about the whole memories """subplot""", if you can even call it that. It really was just "pearl and marina and also this other random irrelevant character talk to each other while you stand there and stare at them from the background" simulator and its like. Thats it? Thats the story? Thats what i waited through all the bullshit for? And then they make you think that there is more, actually, because they keep leading up to something, and then nothing happens. Like okay what was that for.

The gameplay was quick and easy because thats just my skill level. I didnt find it difficult. If youre good at salmon run then chances are youre good at side order. Theres nothing else to be done about that. Im not gonna play bad on purpose for a chance at a challenge. That isnt fun. I just wish the game was rewarding and to me the lore is the reward but... when you think about it literally at all nothing that marina did all this for shows any proof of having worked. She still has to hack her own vr world to do anything with it. Order, now smollusk, is still very much in control. They dont show you anything memory-related actually changing or being affected. They just say it happened and act like thats all there should be to it. And if they were gonna focus on memories, why did they make this whole thing about how bystanders can accidentally be sucked in and then do literally nothing with that? Why not show an actual change in the actual inkopolis square? Why murch of all characters to get a pallet. Why not involve iso padre, whos in inkopolis square now (im very happy about that), who had also lost his memories and was an established character that we could actually interact with in the previous game? It just doesnt add up. Like sorry that i expected good storytelling, its just this is the same people who made octo expansion and they keep trying to one-up octo expansion and they keep falling flat on their face because they keep thinking the gameplay is what made octo expansion so good when it was also the plot and the lore and the worldbuilding that added so much to it so i thought "this time for sure" especially with everything they showed us in the first trailer.

Again, i know it was all concept art, but surely it wouldnt be fair to show off so much only for the final product to be almost nothing like it? Surely if they werent set on the story then they wouldve waited longer to be realeasing trailers and announcing dlc in the first place? Surely it makes sense to expect what was shown. I dont get why theres some people who think everyone had too high expectations. Like its literally just a matter of if you think about any of it literally at all and actually care about it any way more than barebones surface level stuff literally at all then its natural to expect more.

[familiarstale]

Nixy was meant to be the only Eclipse I made

oops Pixel happend and they're more of a solar eclipse rather than a fusion of sun and moon eclipse like Nix is

a very tiny arcade eclipse with a love of star-shaped chewy stim-toys, ribbons and has a Pokemon MissingNo tail-tip Even though I dont really rp here anymore, Pixie Sticks is being added here

close up of Pixel’s arcade because I just really like how it came out

some info on this tiny digital mans under a read-more

Name: Pixel Also responds to: Pix, Pixie, Pixie Sticks, Eclipse Pronouns: He/It/They True Neutral First started to form: Feb 14 Code says he’s about 23 but he doesn’t act it Most likely AroAce but might be Demi Languages Known: Any it can download into itself

The arcade cabinet started to get a glitch after Sunny took out its need for faz-tokens in order to be played, Pixel came from the day/night cycle glitching into each other

Pixel has full control over anything internal in the arcade cabinet. He can’t push the buttons in or move the joystick but he can go anywhere on the screen, mess with gameplay elements - like causing balloons to just pop etc and mess with the high scores. He messes with Sunny’s high score a lot finding it funny

Pixel can’t speak from the arcade. there are game sounds but it’s not enough to let speak though - the only way he can communicate is through making text boxes appear or though gestures, facial expressions or tapping on the screen

Often he will pull of a ‘black curtain’ to make it look like the arcade is switched off

Pixel spies on the brothers - or anyone really - whenever they’re in the balcony room and this is how its learned any and all social cues which he’s not really good at and can often make mistakes thinking something is normal when it might be an unhealthy coping tactic

Pixel doesn’t like being confined to an arcade cabinet, its lonely and finds it very boring

he could be moved to another device by plugging said device into the arcade and downloading him into it. If that were to happen he would have full control over anything digitally on said device - if it were a tablet or phone he would have control over all the apps - but he still would not be able to physically move it around himself

if connected to the internet Pixel could potentially travel through it to another device with WiFi but if presented with this idea he would mostly likely be afraid to try it in fear of getting lost and scrambled up in other code

if discovered he will try to still hide until eventually revealing itself but ask whoever made the discovery to keep it to themselves

it’s not always easy to get a grasp on what Pixel’s personality even is: sometimes through text boxes he can be snarky or rude, but then also some secret caring can slip through

there are moments were he even seems to contradict himself: afraid of being discovered but finding it fun to mess with someone playing as a haunted game

Pixel’s name is given to it when its eventually discovered by the trio of brothers

When changing his appearance his pixels have a shimmery effect and changes as the shimmer goes across

Having been ‘born’ in the arcade, it’s very much apart of Pixel and he can’t be permanently removed from it. He can be temporarily removed for a few days at a time though

Pixel’s favorite colours are blue and hot pink

Because it lives in an arcade cabinet, Pix isn’t used to being touched, it sees the brothers hug each other but he’s never been hugged himself. The first time he is hugged he freezes and tears up from how touch-starved he is

Pix likes bows and has a large blue one around his neck and waist, and small pink ones around his wrists. He struggles with the Eclipse-Interests™ and he has an interest in Stars that he’s unable to shake

Pixel added a tail into his code when he saw so many others with tails. The tip is shaped as the pokemon MissingNo glitch

Pixie is pretty good at making viruses

because he’s completely digital he has some light shapeshifting abilities. when he is able to have a temporary body he’s able to go into, its made out of nanomachines which allows him to keep the light shapeshifting when out. When he does finally get a physical body, its 4 ft tall

Pixel really likes chewy stim toys. When in the arcade he programs a few in there

While out its gotten a few to chew on kept hidden under its ribbons. The stim toys are either hot pink or blue and star-shaped

[hellraiseher]

fuck it whatever .. semi-coherent review (with spoilers!) under cut 🎃

objectively i can't say what is Good or Executed Well or Bad about Ends, just that it awakened the id part of my brain and even while consciously thinking 'wow this is a swerve' i still enjoyed it immensely... of course it isn't anywhere near h1978 (and there's no point expecting that any sequel / remake will be a reprisal of the original) and i wouldn't get up off my ass to defend it (apart from That Kitchen scene) but when it comes down to it i love melodrama i love unhealthy obsession / possessive romance i love moody darkwave i love characters who just keep getting Worse i love michael getting undeniably overpowered by laurie ...

the risk of bringing in corey was uhhh i can understand why people hated it but idk!!!! i guess i already knew to expect the film would be clumsy in its 'evil is inside us all' so the disillusionment didn't get to me... and it was from a love story angle and as cliche as it got with 'if i can't have her no one can' i am still a slave to that trope especially when you get to witness corey killing everyone who has wronged allyson / everyone who gets in the way of them being togeddur... my pupils dilated i was there for it 100%

well not 100% bc eventually that lead to laurie but !!!!!

his arc did feel... plausible ... in a batshit suspending all disbelief kind of way.. its major flaw to me was that it has to contradict the simplicity of h1978 SO much and is shoving in your face that 'ok corey is supposed to be michael's ?? motivation proxy/??' which cool!! i will indulge!! but i feel like it's a v convoluted mirror to construct in order to solidify the tether between michael and laurie.. like i feel vindicated but at the same time the source material says it enough...

the unpredicability did work in its favour tho, while i knew what to expect with the ending judging by route previous films in trilogy have taken, i was still caught off guard a lot .. ANYWAY onto most important part

the Kitchen ....

THE KITCHEN !!

i dont know WHY they chose a kitchen (staging purposes??) idk!! BUCKWILD !!!! VISCERAL!!! SHE CRUCIFIED HIM!!! SHE STRADDLED HIM !!! not only that but michael attempting to / inflicting the same wounds she did on him???????????????????????? extreme courting ... THE HAND HOLDING ?? A FLASHBACK SEQUENCE??

A FUCKING FLASHBACK SEQUENCE?????????????????

100% real footage of me:

i didnt care much for the whole town procession.. i would have preferred laurie and allyson burning michael in the garden like a bonfire but the most important thing is she kept the mask :^)

also the part where michael starts shaking after killing the cop like he's at jesus camp had me so creased

[revelation19]

How come that you still believe in the heresies of calvinism? It goes against everything the early church taught, it has no connection to the historical church and has been rehashing old heresies ad infinitum. I have myself been a calvinist until I bothered reading all the church fathers. Nothing even remotely like it has ever been taught by the early church. To be deep in history truly means to cease to be a protestant.

The very fact that your page is full of those reformed clowns is proof enough that you know nothing about the early church apart from the brain washing you might have undergone in the seminary. you quote John Calvin instead of people like Clement of Rome, St. Athanasius etc Your theology is a joke at best, and damnable heresy at worst. You dont believe ANYTHING the early church believed. That level of ignorance is mind blowing.

They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer, because they confess not the Eucharist to be the flesh of our Saviour Jesus Christ, which suffered for our sins, and which the Father, of His goodness, raised up again. Those, therefore, who speak against this gift of God, incur death in the midst of their disputes. But it were better for them to treat it with respect, that they also might rise again. - sounds an awful a lot like your heretical group.

Notice how you didn’t mention anything about how Calvinism goes against Scripture? Strange huh?

I’ll start off by simply quoting Calvin’s own response to this claim. 

“They [Catholics, i.e. you] unjustly set the ancient father against us (I mean the ancient writers of a better age of the Church) as if in them they had supporters of their own impiety. If the contest were to be determined by patristic authority, the tide of victory--to put it very modestly--would turn to our side. Now, these fathers have written many wise and excellent things. Still, what commonly happens to men has befallen them too, in some instances. For these so-called pious children of theirs, with all their sharpness of wit and judgment and spirit, worship only the faults and errors of the fathers. The good things that these fathers have written they either do not notice, or misrepresent or pervert. You might say that their only care is to gather dung amid gold. Then, with a frightful to-do, they overwhelm us as despisers and adversaries of the fathers! But we do not despise them; in fact, if it were to our present purpose, I could with no trouble at all prove that the greater part of what we are saying today meets their approval... 

He who does not observe this distinction will have nothing certain in religion, inasmuch as these holy men were ignorant of many things, often disagreed among themselves, and sometimes even contradicted themselves. It is not without cause, they say that Solomon bids us not to transgress the limits set by our fathers (Prov. 22:28). But the same rule does not apply to boundaries of fields, and to obedience of faith, which must be so disposed that “it forgets its people and its father’s house” (Ps. 45:10). But if they love to allegorize so much, why do they not accept the apostles (rather than anyone else) as the “fathers” who have set the landmarks that it is unlawful to remove (Prov. 22:28)? Thus has Jerome interpreted this verse, and they have written his words in to their canons. But if our opponents want to preserve the limits set by the fathers according to their understanding of them, why do they themselves transgress them so willfully as often as it suits them?” -John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion

He goes on to list several occasions where the fathers explicitly disagree with official Catholic Dogma. 

I’ll list some of those quotations from the fathers here and elaborate on how they contradict the Roman Catholic Church.

“Sozomen tells a remarkable story of Spyridion, bishop of Trimythus, in Cyprus, ‘That a stranger once happening to call upon him, in his travels in Lent, he having nothing in his house but a piece of pork, ordered that to be dressed and set before him: but the stranger refusing to eat flesh, saying, ‘He was a Christian,’ Spyridion replied,  ‘For that very reason thou oughtest not to refuse it; for the word of God has pronounced all things clean to them that are clean.’” -Origines Ecclesiasticæ: Or, The Antiquities of the Christian Church

Here Spyridion says that it is unchristian to mandate fasting from meat during Lent as Christ has made all foods clean.

“For our Lord Jesus Christ, dwelling in your inner part, and inspiring into you a solicitude of fatherly and brotherly charity, whether our sons and brothers the monks, who neglect to obey blessed Paul the Apostle, when he says, “If any will not work, neither let him eat,” are to have that license permitted unto them; He, assuming unto His work your will and tongue, has commanded me out of you, that I should hereof write somewhat unto you. May He therefore Himself be present with me also, that I may obey in such sort that from His gift, in the very usefulness of fruitful labor, I may understand that I am indeed obeying Him.” -Augustine, On the Work of Monks

Here Augustine calls into question the entire monastic system and shows that it is contrary to Scripture.

“When I accompanied you to the holy place called Bethel, there to join you in celebrating the Collect, after the use of the Church, I came to a villa called Anablatha and, as I was passing, saw a lamp burning there. Asking what place it was, and learning it to be a church, I went in to pray, and found there a curtain hanging on the doors of the said church, dyed and embroidered. It bore an image either of Christ or of one of the saints; I do not rightly remember whose the image was. Seeing this, and being loth that an image of a man should be hung up in Christ's church contrary to the teaching of the Scriptures, I tore it asunder and advised the custodians of the place to use it as a winding sheet for some poor person.” -Epistle of Epiphanius to John of Jerusalem

Here Epiphanius shows that the use of images in Worship is not to be permitted. This position was reinforced by the 36th canon of the Council of Elvira which said “That there ought not to be images in a church, that what is worshipped and adored should not be depicted on the walls.”

"The sacrament of the body and blood of Christ, which we receive, is a divine thing, because by it we are made partakers of the divine-nature. Yet the substance or nature of the bread and wine does not cease. And assuredly the image and the similitude of the body and blood of Christ are celebrated in the performance of the mysteries.” - Galasius I, On the Dual Natures of Christ.

In this quote Galatius I rejects transubstantiation and points out that the elements represent a similitude of the body and blood. This is not to be confused with Zwinglian memorialism nor Lutheran Consubstantiation. 

“In obscure matters where the Scriptures do not give guidance, rash judgment is to be avoided.” -Augustine, The Guilt and Remission of Sin; and Infant Baptism.

Augustine says that Scripture is to be the norming norm for all knowledge and that anywhere the Scriptures are silent we are to proceed with caution. 

“Zealous of reforming the life of those who were engaged about the churches, the Synod enacted laws which were called canons. While they were deliberating about this, some thought that a law ought to be passed enacting that bishops and presbyters, deacons and subdeacons, should hold no intercourse with the wife they had espoused before they entered the priesthood; but Paphnutius, the confessor, stood up and testified against this proposition; he said that marriage was honorable and chaste, and that cohabitation with their own wives was chastity, and advised the Synod not to frame such a law, for it would be difficult to bear.” -Sozomen, Ecclesiastical History.

Here is a passage which describes Paphnutius arguing against celibacy of the pastorate at the council of Nicea. Paphnutius won and pastoral celibacy was not included in the Canons of the Council of Nicea.

Some of these are a bit dated and obscure, so I’ll include a couple quotes from people that you mentioned...

“And we, too, being called by His will to Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” -Clement of Rome, The First Epistle of Clement to the Corinthians

Clement of Rome is affirming the justification by faith in no uncertain terms here.

“The Holy and inspired Scriptures are sufficient of themselves for the preaching of the Truth.” - Athanasius, Contra Gentiles

Athanasius is saying that the Scriptures alone are sufficient, that there is no need to appeal to the Fathers or councils or popes or anything else... just the Word of God. 

Now, you quote Cardinal Newman to say to be deep in Church history is to cease to be protestant... but I’m not even going to get into the history of Roman Catholic Church because this post is already way too long... and that would make it probably 3 times longer. I’ll just bring up this one anecdote from 1378 in which there were 3 popes simultaneously and they had to call a council to resolve the issue, forever dissolving any appeal to papal succession/authority.

[xxxdownwithmydemonsxxx]

Do not ignore this post if you relate to being a fuck up, diagnosed abnormal, or dont see having a future.

I cant be the only one out there who hasn't stopped fucking up since coming into existence.. follow my journey if you can relate in anyway to the things I share. dont be scared to send me asks, i am an open book and wont withhold from satisfying your curiosities. if you're alone with your thoughts and need to vent, feel welcome to flood my dm's and I will respond as soon as I can because I understand when we feel pain and are left to process by ourselves, that is when the bad thoughts seep into our mind, saturating our thoughts, and darkening our souls.

Anyway, 🥀☠🖤

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Page turned. A week ago my partner and I decided to give life one more effort before letting our lives fade to black.

Warning, before continuing to read, my thoughts are poured straight from my mind and into these posts. You must be willing to give up some of your time in order to read what I gave up my time to type.

25 years spent living in chaos and self-destruction with the inevitable escape to try again, only making the same decisions leading to insanity. Surprisingly enough, I made it to the end of 2019. Thanks to my best friend, now partner, I was able to realize how fucked off I let myself become. The trauma I locked away, thinking it wouldnt affect me, had complete control over my mind and physical actions, which resulted in me allowing everyone to take advantage of my entire sense of self.

I have a lot of gaps in my memory, more recently because my mind would "check-out" and I would go into auto pilot to avoid the stress or pain that I just couldn't handle processing.

But I'll never forget the time my mind checked back into my body because it was the most terrifying experience I've ever had to feel and process and understand. Sparing details, whether I close my eyes or not, I can clearly see myself looking at my partner who is sobbing and looks tired and full of pain. I felt myself come back into my body, sounds went from some sort of inaudible fog to sharpening where I could hear what she was saying to me. For a couple seconds after I was coming back to myself, I stared blankly because I couldnt process or feel anything but all at once I started blinking and felt whole again. Disprientated and confused at what was going on but at that moment what I was being told finally clicked. I was ready to hear how fucked up I became. How anything I say or do doesnt make sense and I contradict myself all the time and that I have been on a path to self destruct one more time, leaving myself with no friends or family to lean on, burning every bridge, leaving myself to some suicide mission and I didnt even realize what I was doing. I did things I dont remember doing, I said things I would never say to people I care about, and I was in complete denial. Not the kind of denial where you ignore facts but know you're kind of wrong- I'm talking about straight denial where I wasn't able to decipher fact from fiction and I thought my thoughts were true, however after the fact, I knew it was denial because nothing I did added up. Traumas a bitch, huh?

Anyway, terrifying & never want to live through losing my mind ever again. I'm surprised I made it out of the past 24 years still sane because if we look at statistics, I should've died anywhere from a decade ago to today.

Where was I.. oh, turning the page.

Whatever or Whoever had the power to not only restore my sanity but also give me the strength to process a lot of what I had suppressed, has offered me the opportunity to live and I believe this is my last chance to figure it out. I've been given a gift by the Universe and given how brilliant I actually am, I'm not going to deny accepting it.

A week ago I started making necessary changes- changes I've never made before or fully committed to. Externally and internally there has been an immense shift, from wiping the slate clean with disconnecting from everyone except my mom and girlfriend, to cleaning out, rearranging, and making my apartment an entirely new space and vibe, and internally because now that I'm aware of the choices I have been making that hurt myself and others, i can rewire my mind to stop before acting out of habit and I can act in accordance to how I genuinely feel or think. It's become liberating and I feel my sense of self developing as I continue to experience life with a new set of awareness and understanding.

It's been about a week, 6-7 days, since making the decision to go all in with doing something different and theres a new battle with each new day, but I have never been so motivated to figure out a way to keep pushing forward because for once in my life I see a future worth living for. Finally, a glimpse of hope and happiness, things I didnt think were obtainable for me in this life.

I originally said "page turned", but what is more fitting would be to consider it the second installment on my life's series.

If I continue to make it through each day alive then Part 2 of my life will develop into quite a story. I'm sharing through Tumblr my experiences with the intent to show broken souls who believe they are destined fuck ups, that there is way out of self-induced madness and happiness can be obtained. For me, when I was able to even slightly accept the idea of being happy, that gave me an excessive amount of motivation to the point where I will kill anyone who stands in my way of obtaining something I didnt think I would ever have. The amount of dopamine that floods my entire mind, body, and soul gets me higher than i have ever been and I'm addicted to it. I fiend for the rush that encompasses my entire existence so much that I nearly pass out everytime.

I'm weird. I'm nonconforming. I'm psychotic. I'm dramatic. I'm sick in the head. I'm not fucking normal. So I'm going to be the 1% who got down with my demons and (hopefully) lives to finish Part 2.

[welcome-to-sanjis-shitty-kitchen]

Guys...holy hell.

I just realized, in the dream world Carbuncle tells Noct he can get back by going to his "safespace" And in episode Prompto Prom goes there twice. After he passes out from hypothermia and when he confronts his younger self. But, but here's the thing, how Prompto get's out and get's his determination. His heading up the stairs into the Citadel rather sitting at the bottom staircase like he did earlier. So his exit is the Citadel, and why would that be his safeplace, what kinda attachment does he have to a building? And then it hit me, it's not the building, it's because Noctis is there, that Ignis and Gladio is there. It was ovbious and we all know it and subconciously knew. But we never actually thought about it. How his safeplace is litterally Noct and co. They're all he got in this world and it's godamn beutiful. Or his safeplace is just litterally just Noct and Promptis has been canon all this time. I can't be the only one who feels that the amount of how much Prompto loves and depends and dedicates his life towrwards Noct goes far and beyond and best friend or family type of relationship. I feel like they legit could stay like platonicly togther forever to the end of time. I mean doesn't have too, but it feels like super right that they can just be together forever without any labels. Like they're not friends nor lovers....just something more. Also if a dude spent years losing weight just cause he wanted to look perfect in order to talk to u then his a catch. If i was Noct i would be head over godamn heels man, i wasn't gay before but i guess i am now! Man i both hate it and love it when they write relationships like this, cause its basicly up to your own interpretation. Its enough for them to be best friends but also something more. Because nothing tells u it cant be a thing. But nothing either tells u it is a thing. Ive always imagined Proms feelings for Noct somewhat romantic, because theres so much extra shit that is kinda weird and overwhelming for just "friends". And we dont think about it but Prom low self confidence and selfworth makes him a very extreme person. Someone could say his freckles are ugly, he would probably wear makeup to cover them up cause bybdoing so he doesnt cause this person discomfort or digust. His eager to please, to improve himself on his "faults" if u remember all it took for prom to loose weight was one comment from Noct how he was heavy. Also the fast decision on him trying to burn his barcode of his arm, his hella impulsive. The fact that he have such strong feelings to the point if he doesnt have Nocts approval he no longer wants to live is also very extreme. No matter what relationship they have Noctis is the one he loves most in the entire godamn world. And even if they started as friends, someone that means that much too you often becomes something more amd you dont even think about it. And judging by all of this it's very possible he did love Noct, but there was no reason for him too show it. First take this, Noct is the prince, Prom wouldn't do anything to put a spotlight on him or make him uncomfortable or cause him any trouble. Then the wedding with Luna, the mission to save Luna and save the world. His personal feelings wouldn't belong anywhere there. Cause he deemed his feelings not important because his world revolves around noct. No matter what happened, even if prom told him it was doomed from the start. It had no future, noct had no future as he was destined to die by the gods. It honestly makes sense why prom sounds so depressed, unsure and kinda snarky torwards noct later in the game. Cause this is his last change but its still not the time, and it never will be so its gonna be a secret he takes with him to the grave but his feelings for noct, he cherished those and it was enough for him. It could also be because he knows Noct is gonna die soon but what do i know. Im just here to speculate and overanalyze relationships between a prince and a poor boy. Also the fact that Prompto stays single those 10 years and litterally only hangs out with Cindy even though she probably told him no. But from how Talcott says it it seems like Cindy was kinda oblivious and Prom just hang around and never told her. Kinda like his pinning but shes too busy working she doesnt notice him, for 10 godamn years. What i always feel was weird in this game was how forced Proms interactions with girls was. Like no joke he has lowkey crushes on every girl he met. Cindy, aranea even iris jesus christ. If u go by his character its really contradicting that he would react like that to them. But its also just stays in his head because he doesnt actually wanna bother them irl. Like that photo tour where noct is the wingman and noct tells him to just ask vindy for a pic amd he tells him that would be creepy. It weird, but its a prompto thing to be satisfied imagining what could have been rather them act on something. Which what i feel with noct and why he would never even put that tought in the open for noct. Like with Cindy and all the girls it seems more like his impressed by what theyre capable off. Like cindy being a genius engineer and running the garage herself. Aranea being a godamn badass fighter, its like his so impressed what they can do and developes small crushes. But thats what they are, small insignificent crushes that would never lead anywhere. In a way they remind me of Clouds, zacks, aeriths and tifas relationship. In which cloud started with a crush on tifa, started to develop feelings for aerith but they never lead anywhere cause she wasnt there anymore. But then theres also the fact that cloud cant let go of aerith or zack, but i feel like aerith is more about guilt rather then love. And No matter what, zack always priorities in clouds mind. Cause back then zack was all he had, he had given up on going back to tifa or even see or talk to her. He failed his goal but zack got him hopefull again. Zack was his only ally and friend. Then shit happened and zack decides for him that theyre gonna stay totgether and be mercenaries forever. Zack takes care of him like no one else has ever done and that caring and love goes way deeper then crushes. Like no matter what happens its the same with prom. Noct will always be the number one love in his life. Oh god this is way to long, i did it again. I just wanted to talk about carbuncle man. And please, if u read this long pls come talk to me about what you think.

[theladyofthewest]

I’m an emotional mess so :)

A lot of these posts have been going around and I have had the distinct honour to have been tagged in some myself. Firstly, a huge thank you to anyone who did tag me, I can’t begin to describe how happy you made me by doing that. 

Secondly, one thing I want to say is that a lot of this list is comprised of people I hold very dear to my heart especially considering that even though our interests may vary and I may not post about things they enjoy anymore, they’re still here and really that shows me that I have friends who are here for me, who like me, and not any content I post so for that I’d like to extend another huge thank you. i can’t begin to describe to all of you what that means to me :) <3 

@wreathoflaurels​ : Oh mannnnn haha where do I begin??? Umm Laura is like literally one of my best friends and I cant begin to say how relieved I am that I mustered up the courage to talk to her that one day cause its been nothing but love and support and caring for each other since. i cant understand how someone i have never been able to lay eyes on in person could have so much of my heart and so much of my trust. I would lay down my life for you in a second and i dont think I get nearly enough opportunities to show you that. You are such a giving and supportive person and I truly count myself privileged to have been able to meet someone like you and count you as one of the people nearest to my heart. I love you and I want nothing but the best for you. 

@gobodosama​: Someone else that I count myself so blessed to have mustered up the courage to talk to omg. I remember the first time I spoke to Abbey was on one of her streams and she was so kind and supportive that I immediately thought ‘well fuck she’ll never like you.’ But!!!! by some miracle, she did and I get to say, with so much pride that Abbey is one of my best friends. Abbey is someone I have been able to pour my heart out to and never feel like my words will be misconstrued or misinterpreted. I truly feel like the best version of myself when I am speaking to you and i CANt begin to thank you enough for that. My super talented, kind, loving, beautiful best friend. Stay awesome, I love you. 

@sankontesu​ :Sometimes I sit there and wonder to myself how I, hell the world, got so lucky to have someone like Lali. honestly. Lali is easily one of the kindest and most generous and open hearted people I have ever met. Lali, I remember being absolutely floored that you would spend your own money on commissioning art of Reiko for me as a birthday present. That you hadn’t even met me and you were willing to spend your own money on me. We were so close to being able to meet in NYC and do I wish to god it happened so i could give you such a huge hug and thank you for being you. People can say whatever they want about Lali but let it be known that in all my life I have never met someone like you, someone who is so good to the core and deserving of nothing but love. I love you, even if we havent spoken in so loooongg, and I hope you are always smiling cause you deserve nothing but . 

@mirsan​ :Angie is someone that I could talk about for days. I would never get tired of announcing to the world how much Angie means to me as a person and how beautiful and giving and caring and supportive she is. There have been too many occasions for me to quote to anyone where I have felt like Angie would take on the world for me and there have been times where she has done just that. And whats most amazing about Angie is that its not just me or any of her friends that she would do that for, Angie would do that for anyone. That is what makes her such an amazing person. Angie i have been able to cry to you, cry with you, laugh with you, and listen to horrific 10 minute voice notes with you, do dramatic live readings of horrific fics with you - you name it. I will never forget that when I was scared of seeing someone to talk to, it was you who talked me through what the initial process would be and gave me the courage to go through with it. i cant thank you enough for that. I love you so much you are literally my life coach, be mirsan af and happy always, i will fight anyone who contradicts that. 

@narkik​ : amandaaaaaa omg. Amanda you were probably my first friend on here. The Office AU haha and I remember thinking that you were waaaaay too cool for me and lo and behold I am correct. You are such an intelligent and beautiful person, so easy to talk to and i love that i can go months without talking to you and yet the next time we do talk its like it was just yesterday. idk what it is that makes me feel like I could talk to you about anything but know that i would literally fight the entire universe in order to put a smile on your face because you deserve that. Its weird how someone can be the opposite of me in so many ways and yet we can still be so similar. I love you and I want to always write smut that makes you cry in public places from trying not to smile haha, please stay happy always!!!

@aaya-ranjha-mera: omgggg you are a wild card entry! I can not begin to fathom how close I have gotten to you in such a short time. I can honestly say that I never expected for you to become a daily fixture in my life where it feels weird if we arent talking about one thing or the other. I love that i can always count on you to understand how im feeling and offer perspectives on it that i didnt even imagine. I love how I dont have to explain things to you, you seem to just understand them and sometimes its like you’re just on the same brainwave as me haha (our twins moments are far too many to count). You understand me and my love for certain,,,, characters,,,, *sigh* in a way that makes me feel a little more sane at the end of the day anD i LOVE you for that. I adore that you trust me enough to talk to me about things because the feeling is 10000% mutual and I would fight the entire planet for you!

@smilebomber : OH RINNE.. soMETIMES i think about you and just get really emotional because you are such a pURE soul and you honestly must be protected at all costs. When i think sunshine and happiness and the warmth you get from being around someone you love, I think of you. You’re so strong and loving and beautiful and TALENTED. Is there anything you cant do?? i think not. I love that youre always so considerate of everyone around you, you’re always thinking of others and their feelings and i want you to know that I am always always always thinking of you and i have so much love in my heart for you. you have been there to ask me if i’m okay when I’m feeling down, to leave me nice asks and pick me up messages and I can’t find words to tell you how much that means to me. All I can really do is impress on you that I will always, in any circumstance, be here to do the same for you and if anyone ever tries to make you feel like you are anything short of an actual goddess I will come for their ass so help me god. 

@hedevimaiyya: i want to say to you shivangi that i am guaranteed going to cry typing this and if you laugh i will kill you ok. Shivangi omg omg omg i have been able to tell you things that i would never tell anyone else, i have been able to cry to you in ways that i dont know if ive done to someone else. You understand me on a wavelength that I dont think even I can reach??? When i talk to you its like all my sadness and stress becomes background noise because we just have so much fun talking to each other. I share everything with you, be it art or fic or OCs and you make me feel like ive done something worth the nobel prize every single time and I cant tell you the fuzzy feeling i get every time you message me because you are associated with goodness and happiness to me and I just feel so strongly for you. I would murder anyone who hurt you and I have been on the verge of doing so more than once. i hope to god, more than anything, that you come down to ontario so i can hug you and scream or i come up to montreal and you can laugh at my french which, while being fluent and spoken with a correct accent, is probably horrible. I LOVE YOU BOOBOO ILL DIE FOR YOU. 

@onikik : You know what michelle you wanna know the truth. i struggled a lot writing your paragraph. Because i dont know where to begin talking about you. Do i start with your talent, with the fact that youre the actual hand of god? do i start with your wonderful ideas and humour?? Or do i start with the heart of pure gold in your chest? You are honestly one of the most amazing people I have met hands down, you are always ready to spread love and care and be there for other people. You - god Im getting teary eyed thinking about it - you go out of your way to do things for other people and even when youre doing a commission you go out of your way to personalize it for the person and really make them feel like you did this for them and only for them, to make them happy. theres this loving intimacy in everything you do that makes everyone around you feel like you care about them and that you are there for them. idk how you do it honestly but i think youre an actual god. yOU must be i cant imagine there being any other way that you could be so beautiful and kind and loving and giving and caring and just pe r fect. I love you and id die for you and kill for you. know that always. 

and to you beautiful, beautiful people: you are all such amazing people who have made me feel so loved and welcomed. I see your URLs on my dash and I immediately am filled with warmth and love because thats exactly what all of you represent to me!!!!!

@ohblackfire, @kristicles, @thequeenwillruletheboard, @oh-haseena, @inukag, @sinuyasha, @kongosoha, @ashcanvas, @macabre-and-cheese

to anyone I forgot: I am so incredibly sorry. Know that if your name isnt on this list anywhere, that doesnt mean you’re not in my heart and that I wouldnt give my actual life for you. I have a horrible memory and I give you my deepest and most sincere apologies. <3