#i dont really have a good explanation for it but they just feel like autumn to me idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tumblunni · 5 years

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I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

#weird dream tag #the sequence with trying the teleporter curtain on different doors actually took up the majority of the dream #it was ridiculously long and i wish i could slap my brain and be like 'geez save some time for explaining gramp backstory more!'

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years

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Happy Ending (Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

A/N: This is a request from @veggiejimin Thank you for this wonderful idea, I hope I do justice to your amazing plot <3 I posted her request at the bottom of the story so that it wont spoil the ending. but for those who wants to read it first before reading the story, you can do that.

Also, I’m sorry but I think everyone knows by now that I'm a Jungkook slut, whore, will sell my soul to him and give up my first born for him, whatever you want to call it, so whenever you give me a choice to choose a member it will always be him. If that makes me a sinner, so be it. Hahaha.

And I have been dying to write a story based on this particular line, and I think this request fits what I have in mind:

"I never promised you a happy ending, you never said you wouldn't make me cry" - Autumn Goodbye by Britney Spears

MASTERLIST

"I we do this, if we really going to be together, I cant promise you a happy ending Jungkook,"

"And I cant promise that I wont ever make you cry," his answer make her smile. Being friends before developing any romantic feelings towards the other, the two of them are too honest with each other.

"So we are really doing this?" Jungkook smile at her question. A smile so bright she felt her heart might burst just from the look of it. He take a step forward and held both of her hands in his.

"Yes. We are doing this. I love you Y/N," he leaned in and she felt his lips against hers, soft, sweet and everything more than she could have ever imagined, marking the day as the day he becomes hers and her, his.

Y/N is heads over heeks in love with one particular Jeon Jungkook, and she hopes this is her happy ending.

"Happy birthday Y/N!" Y/N smile, as she covers her face to hide her red nose, the after effect from her non stop crying. Something she does every year for the past five years on her birthday. Jimin and Taehyung look at each other before looking back at the cake which is top with fully lit candles that they were holding.

"Were you crying?" Jimin asks, brows furrowed in concern. He already knows the answer but decides to ask anyway. Y/N hastily shakes her head, trying to lie like she always does and gave them a smile. Taehyung placed the cake on her side table and went to engulfed her in a tight hug.

"There is no need to lie to us Y/N. You can cry all you want tonight. We are staying the night," he kissed her forehead and flashed her his signature smile.

"Thankyou guys. Thankyou for doing this every year for me," Y/N's voice is almost unheard as it is muffled by the two boys who are now hugging her. "Lets forget about it and just eat some cake and watch a movie yeah?"

"Okay birthday girl. Whatever you want to do," Taehyung smiles as he take the cake to the kitchen and Jimin starts to pick a movie. Y/N stood and watch the boys, a smile gracing her lips. She loves Jungkook, she loves him very very much, but every year on her birthday, she has never been more grateful to have Taehyung and Jimin in her life.

/////

"You are back!" Jungkook immediately stood up from the couch and approach his hyungs who just walked in the door. He spent the whole night, and the better part of the morning restless and guilty, waiting for his hyungs to come back from his girlfriend's apartment.

"Yeah,"

"How..how is she?" Taehyung glared at him as he asks the question.

"What do you think?" Taehyung's voice is laced with sarcasm, making Jungkook hung his head low.

"She was crying even before we got there. And she spend the whole night crying too," Jimin answered the restless maknae. "How long are you going to do this to her Kookie?"

"Yeah, if this goes on any longer, you should just let her go," Taehyung interrupt. Jungkook's head snapped at his hyung's ridiculous suggestion.

"What?! No, never! I love Y/N,"

"You sure about that? With the way you treat her, maybe you should think again," Taehyung's said, voice full of venom as he marched off into his room. Jimin gave the maknae a small smile and pat his shoulder.

"You know Tae's like that because he really cares about both you and Y/N right?" Jungkook nodded weakly. "But you really need to figure things out soon Kookie," he reminds him before walking off.

Jungkook went back to the couch and slumped himself down. Him and Y/N has been together for 5 years now. Their relationship is wonderful. Y/N is the perfect girlfriend he could have ever asks for. But every year on her birthday, he will just shut himself out from the world. He felt bad. He should have spend it with her like any loving boyfriend should do. She deserves that. She deserves every happiness in the world.

But he cant... because that exact date is the day Nari left him for good.

He would like to think that he had moved on when he met Y/N five years ago. Her smile and her laugh gives makes the butterflies in his stomach goes crazy. He always miss her when she's not around, and he enjoys being with her. He really thought he had fully moved on, that he's happy now, no longer haunted by that dreadful tragedy, but every year when the annivesary of the day Nari walk out from his door came by, he snapped.

The memory of Nari with tears on her face as she said her final goodbye, how she said she will always love him, how she said she wish the circumstances are different so that they could be together haunts him. It just happens that the tragic days falls on Y/N's birthday.

He still remember their first year together. Y/N was so happy. She has always been obssesed with birthdays. Anyone's birthday. Jungkook remembers how happy she looks when she came to his dorm, bringing a piece of cake, just to celebrate her birthday with her boyfriend since they have a full day practice that day. And what did he do? He grabbed the cake from her hold and threw it on the floor, startling Y/N.

"Wh... why did you do that Kookie?"

"You are asking me?! Why the hell would you come here looking so happy for? Didnt I tell you not to disturb me today?!" He snarled. Y/N who is confused of what's happening starts to tear up.

"But... its..its my birth-"

"Please just get out. I will see you tomorrow okay?" He pushed her shoulders, shoving her towards the door and slammed it close.

Y/N spend her birthday crying the whole night that year, confused and hurt on why her boyfriend is acting that way. Jungkook went over to see her later the next day, explaning to her and apologizing for his extreme behaviour. He explains that that particular date brings a bad memory to him, something he doesnt want to remember and that the day triggers his ridiculous actions. He never meant to hurt her. He had expected Y/N to throw him out from her house and break up with him from his shitty explanation; his behavior is beyond unforgivable. But instead she smile and said she understand that he has his reason and never once pressured him to tell her in detail of what happened that would make him do the things he did. In fact, Y/N never talk about that date or her birthday with him ever again.

Its been five years since then, and every day since that day, Jimin and Taehyung will come to see her, in place of her boyfriend, making sure she's alright and not spending her birthday alone since her own boyfriend will shut himself out from the world without any explanation. Jungkook sighed. He can see the sadness in her eyes every year, he can see her longing to spend her special day with the one she loves, he can see that he is hurting her. He knows Y/N doesnt deserve such a shitty boyfriend like him, but Jungkook admits he is selfish. He is positive he loves her and he cant just let her go akrhough the memory of Nari still haunts him day and night. Jimin is right. He needs to figure things out. He just hopes Y/N will still be willing to wait for him while he tries.

Y/N never asks. She never question Jungkook. Not even once. She believed that Jungkook will open up to her when he's ready.

But its been 5 years. And Y/N finally wonders how much longer can her heart take it.

/////

"Hey..."

"Oh you are here," Y/N turned from the dishes and smile at Jungkook who just entered her apartment. He went over and give her a quick kiss, noticing how her eyes and nose are still a bit swollen. She must has spend more than a day crying. Jungkook tries to forget the thought and flashed her his biggest smile.

"Yeah. Practice was cancelled today, so I came. I wanted to see you. I miss you," he tugged her closer by her waist and stare at her beautiful face that he miss so much, making her blush. "Lets spend the whole day together today,"

Y/N nodded her agreement and that is exactly what they did. Spending the whole day watching movies, cuddling, exchanging kisses and eating a whole lot of takeout food that Jungkook is sure he needs to work extra hard tomorrow to burn it all off. The day went well until Y/N suddenly stiffened as she straighten herself from laying down on Jungkook's chest, making him confused.

"What's wrong baby?" Y/N avoided his gaze and fiddled with her hands that is on her lap, indicating that she's nervous about something.

"Kookie... we have been dating for five years now,"

"Yes. I know that," he laughs.

"And... can I ask you something?" She turns to look at him. Jungkook grab her hand to assure her that she can ask him anything.

"Of course you can baby. You dont have to be so nervous around me. Its me," he giggle as he traces unknown shapes in her palm, helping her to calm down. Y/N ease into his touch and takes a deep breath.

"I know I shouldnt ask... but its been five years... and I think this time i want to know," she paused. "Can you tell me what happened on that day that makes you hate that date so much?" The moment the question left her lips, Jungkook's face changed into anger and he immediately shrugged off her hands.

"You are right. You shouldnt ask," was his cold answer.

"But Jungkook, I just want to know-"

"No! You dont need to know anything!" He suddenly stood up, yelling, startling her. "We had a very nice day today. Why do you have to go and ruin everything by being a curious little bitch?!"

To say that Y/N was shocked by his words was an understatement. During their whole five years being together, never once Jungkook ever said those harsh words to her. Nor has he ever raised his voice to her. What happened on that day that could make him change 360 everytime she brought it up?

"You know what? If you cant just let it go, then I dont think I want to do this anymore," he starts to walk away, anger radiating off him. Y/N jumped to her feet and grab his arm before he could walk off.

"Jungkook, please. Dont go. I'm sorry,"

"I just need some time okay," he shakes his arm off fron her hold and walk to the door. He turns to look at her before exiting. "Just... just give me some space,"

Y/N colllapsed on the floor the moment Jungkook slammed the door close, the tears she tried so hard to conceal finally rolls down her cheeks. After quite some time crying her heart out she slowly crawled to the couch, picking up her phone with the last of her strength.

"Hello?"

"He..hello?"

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"Tae... I think I'm ready to know what happened to Jungkook,"

/////

"What did he do this time?" Both Jimin and Taehyung peered into Y/N's swollen face that is sitting opposite of them in the quiet little cafe. She gave them a small tired smile.

"He didnt do anything,"

"Stop defending him. He dont deserve it," Taehyung protests as he rolled hia eyes at her answer. Typical Y/N. Always defending her undeserving boyfriend.

"Why do you love that asshole so much," Jimin sighed. "Tae is right. He really dont deserve you," Y/N laughs. Really, she is always so grateful for Jimin and Taehyung in her life. They were the only thing that could replace the hole Jungkook left inside her heart.

"Stop it guys. I know you love Kookie as much as I do," Y/N chuckles, making the two smile.

"Sadly, that is true," Jimin nodded before his face turned serious. "But Y/N... are you really ready to find out?"

Y/N fiddled with her hands again as her gaze shift between the two boys who is wearing identical serious expression. She exhale and nodded. "Yes. I think its time for me to finally know what's making Jungkook this way,"

Jimin and Taehyung look at each other before nodding, silently agreeing to her request.

"Jungkook... he hates that date so much because that's the day Nari left him," Taehyung 's soft voice pierced through Y/N's heart. She had thought about millions possibilities of what could have happened to Jungkook on that day, but a girl? They have been together for five years, how is this girl still have so much effect on him? Is he lying when he says he loves her?

"Na..Nari?"

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a worried expression, silently discussing if they should continue on with the story but Y/N reached out from across the table and hold their hands, assuring them to go on. It might hurt her, but she needs to know. She needs to make Jungkook happy again, whatever it takes.

"Nari is Jungkook's first love,"

"His true love," Taehyung added, earning a smack from Jimin who points at Y/N with his eyes, worried his friend's word might hurt her. Y/N chuckle at the two who is not at all subtle in their behaviour.

"Its fine Chim. Go on,"

"They met when they were young. Before he even debuted. Jungkook is head over heels in love, and so is she," Y/N focus herself on listening, ignoring the ache in her heart at knowing that Jungkook was once in love with someone else, most probably still is. "But you know us trainees are not allowed to have girlfriends right?" She nodded.

"They tried to hide their relationship at first, Jungkook spend what little money he have to visit and spend time with her whenever he can. But their relationship got found out eventually. Jungkook could have been kicked out but he has so much potential that the management decides they couldnt do that," Jimin stops, looking at his friend for the continuation.

"The management went behind his back to see Nari," Y/N gasps.

"That's horrible. How can they interfere with his personal life like that?" Y/N starts to sympathuze with them now. Jungkook might be the love of her life, but the thought of people trying to break him apart from this Nari girl breaks her.

"That is how valuable Jungkook is to the company. They dont want to lose him. Especially knowing that Jungkook is willing to give up on his dreams to become an idol just to be with her," Y/N dropped her gaze. Jungkook must love Nari so much if he is willing to do that much for her. For the five years they have been together, his career always comes first, and although Y/N understands that but sometimes it still hurts her feelings. But still, she never once said anything to Jungkook. Its something she always know that she will become second to when she agreed to marry him.

"So they told Nari that if she didnt leave him, then Jungkook would lose his chance to become an idol, which is his dream. And Nari, I guess loves him too much to do that to him. So she broke up with him and left him..."

"On the same date as your birthday," Jimin finishes the story.Y/N was silenced from the shocked. She would never have thought that Jungkook could love someone this much. He surely never showed this kind of love to her.

"But... you guys are allowed to date after a year of debuting. Why didnt he find her then? Or wait for her till then?"

"She went to study abroad during that time. Jungkook was devastated when she left and he had planned to wait for her return, but he met you instead," Jimin smile softly at her.

"Yeah. We thought you are the saving grace that would make him forget. He really does loves you, you know. But I dont understand why the date still triggers him. He shouldnt be like this. He already has you. Doesnt he know that he's hurting you?!" Taehyung snarled. He is always protective of Y/N. He cares for her like a little sister and he hates to see her crying because of his stupid maknae. Y/N smile at him and rub his hand, trying to sooth him down.

"I told you, its okay Tae," she lets out a little giggle. "And thankyou guys for telling me this. Now I understand him a little more. Its hard to lose someone you love," Jimin sighed at her respond.

"I just wish Kookie would take the time to understand you too. You are really too good for him Y/N," Y/N laughs and shakes her head.

"No I'm not. He deserves better than me," she whispered, which the boys didnt hear.

After the conversation she had with Taehyung and Jimin, Y/N already know what her next steps are. Her next steps to ensure Jungkook's happiness. She look at the name in her phone contacts, a number she gets from Taehyung behind Jimin's back after a long session of begging, pleading and bribing with endless ice creams and pizzas.

Song Nari

/////

"There is just one more thing I need to know. Do you still love him?" The pretty girls sitting in front of her smile shyly and nodded.

"I do. I love him so much I dont think I can ever love anybody else,"

"You promise to make Jungkook happy?"

The girl nodded her head as she smjle widely. "Of course I will. I will do anything for Kookie,"

"Then that is all I need to know," Alrhough the way she called him makes her heart tighten, Y/N smile back, although her smile this time lack sincerity and sparkles like it usually does.

/////

"Baby... are you still mad at me?" Jungkook held both of her hands tight in his, peering into her eyes, looking for a reaction. Y/N smile. Like she always does whenever they were fighting. Whenever Jungkook is being a shit to her.

"No I'm not. I was not even mad at you in the first place," she shakes her head. Its been almost two weeks since their fight and Y/N didnt contact him at all, respecting his wishes to give him some space, although she misses him so much. But at least the time apart from him gave her the space she needed to seek out Nari and finally clear out everything. She didnt mean to see Jungkook today. Taehyung invited her to their dorm saying everybody is out except for Yoongi who is not bothered to keep him company. Bored and alone, he seeks out Y/N to accompany him. She didnt think that the other boys, Jungkook of course included will be back so soon. The moment Jungkook saw his girlfriend in a questionable position while playing Twister with his hyung, he immediately dragged her into his room. To be honest, he miss her and he had wanted to reach out to her sooner but his schedule has been deadly this past weeks. So its a good thing that Taehyung invited her over. Well, a good thing minus the position he found them in, limbs tangling around each other on the Twister mat. Jungkook seeths at the memory.

That hyung really deserves some beating.

"Why are you always so nice to me baby? I dont deserve any of this," he whispered to her as he hug her tight and kiss the top of her head. Y/N return the hug, basking in the scent of him. She can feel the tears starts to prickle the corner of her eyes as she remembered what she's going to do in a moment.

"Dont say that Kookie. You know you deserve so much better than me," her voice muffled by his chest. Y/N breaks the hug and looks up to him, trying to burn every inch of his face in her memory. Jungkook was her first love, but sadly now she knows that she is not his. "Jungkook, you know I love you right?"

He smile and nodded. "And I love you too baby,"

Y/N tries to ignore the pain in her heart, now that she knows what he's saying is most probably a lie. He doesnt love her. He might think he does but its Nari that he loves.. "And you know I would do anything to make you happy right?"

"Why are asking me this? What's going on Y/N?" Jungkook's brow furrowed, confused and a little nervous at her sudden questions. She just smile at him although her heart is breaking when she remembers what she's about to do next.

"I think... I think we should break up,"

The silence following her statement felt like a thousand years before Jungkook finally say something.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think we should break up," she repeated herself. More sure this time. Jungkook ran his hand through his hair and turn to look at her.

"No. I wont allow that,"

"I dont think that's your choice Jungkook," Y/N's voice is soft, trying to hide her sadness.

"No!" He yelled, making her jumped. He walk towards her and grabbed her hands. "Why are you doing this? Is it because of our fight that day? Im sorry baby. I know I have been a shitty boyfriend but I swear I will try to change,"

"No Jungkook. Its nothing that you did," her heart breaks to hear Jungkook plead and beg. He is not the kind of man to lose his composure like that.

"Then what is it? Tell me and I will fix it. Dont do this Y/N. Lets just forget this hmm?" His grip on her become tighter as he stares into her eyes. The way he looks at her almost make her change her mind, to just be selfish and stay with him. But what's the point? Jungkook doesnt love her. If he does he wouldnt freak out every year like he did whenever that tragic date came around.

"Jungkook... I promise you that I will do anything in my power to make you happy. Do you remember that?"

"I do! Then why are you doing this? It doesnt make sense!"

"Because you are not truly happy with me. You are not in love with me," Jungkook can hear the crack and shaking in her voice. He can see this hurts her as much as it hurts him. So why is she doing this?

"Stop it Y/N. I love you. You are my girlfriend! I love and I want to be with you! Stop saying nonsense, of course I'm happy with you!"

"I wish those words were true... but I know its not," she smile sadly at him, eyes already glazed with unshed tears. "I know you love me Jungkook, but you dont love me as much as you love Nari. You wont ever love me as much as you love her," Jungkook was stunned the moment he heard Nari's name came out from her mouth. How on earth does she knows about her?

"Y/N, I-"

"Its okay. I already know everything there is to know about the two of you. And no, before you ask, I'm not angry at all Jungkook. In fact, I finally understand now why you pushed me away every year. Why my birth date ticks you off so much. Why we never eat at that restaurant downtown eventhough I like it so much, why you always turn off the radio when that one particular song came on. I already know everything Jungkook. And knowing why finally makes the pain I felt all this year seems better,"

Pain? How much did I hurt her by pushing her away because of Nari? Jungkook thought to himself. He was hellbent on making her stay. There is no way in hell he would ever let her go. He loves Y/N. But when Nari's name came up, everything goes out the window. All the memories and his feelings came back to him. Jungkook is just speechless.

"Y/N, you dont have to do this. I-"

"No. Stop. Listen," she raised a hand, stopping him. "I know why you two broke up. And I also know how much you suffered from losing her. How much you love her and miss her. She was your first love Jungkook. You never did get over her. You are willing to give up your dreams for that girl," she chuckles but it just sounded force to his ears. He tried to respond but nothing came out. Everything Y/N is saying is true. He never did get over Nari. He realized that now. The pain he felt on the day she left still feels fresh and he relives it again and again every year on that very day.

"And... I also know that she still loves you and would do anything to be with you again," Jungkook immediately looks up at that, a trace of hope and a glimmer of sparkle shows in his eyes, causing Y/N's heart to shatter a little bit more, but still, she continues to smile, blinking back the tears. For Jungkook's happiness, she knows this is the right thing to do. She just have to. "Everything has change now. The system is different now. There is nothing stopping the two of you to be together,"

"Wh... what are you talking about?" Jungkook was shocked by that statement. He would never in a million years expect Y/N to say that. He expected her to go hysteric, maybe gave him the cold shoulders for a few days or maybe cry her eyes out when she found out that he is still pining on Nari, but not this. "Y/N..." he looks into her eyes, no longer sparkle with laughter and happiness like she usually does. "How can I be with Nari? How can I do that to you?" You stepped closer to him, cupping his face in your hands.

"Jungkook... I know you. I can see it in your eyes how much you miss her. How much you still love her," Jungkook lowered his gaze, making her chuckle. "And the fact that you never deny even once that you still love Nari cemented that fact Jungkook," he kept quiet but his soft brown eyes are looking into hers now, his hand holding hers tight, which is still carressing his cheek.

"I'm sorry Y/N," his voice so small you almost missed it. "This was never my intention," You let out a small laugh and shakes your head.

"Dont be. You dont choose who your heart will fall in love with. And I know you will love whoever your heart chose with everything you habe Jungkook. You are just that kind of a person. It just happens that its not me,"

"Y/N..."

"Its okay," she hushed him again. She dont think she can bare it if Jungkook says another word. She can already see it in his reaction, in his eyes, how much he loves Nari. How excited he is to be with her again. "Its time for me to go now Jungkook. Nari is waiting for you," Jungkook takes a deep breath and kiss her palms before letting go. She walks towards the door but turns around when Jungkook calls out her name.

"How about you then Y/N? Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm not going to lie and say it doesnt hurt. It hurts. It hurts so much because I love you Jungkook. But it hurts me more knowing that you are happier with someone else and I'm the only reason that stops you from it. And that reason alone will help me to be okay. So I'm letting you go Jungkook," tears are racing down her cheeks as she said the words that hurts her the most to him.

She is letting go the only man she has ever love.

A part of her silently cried out, begging and pleading him to say that she is mistaken. For him to say and insist that Nari is his past and she is his future, proving her wrong. Proving to her that he is indeed very much in love with her, not Nari, but those words never came. Instead as she reached out for the door knob, he still didnt say the words she wanted to hear, making whatever left of Y/N's heart shattered completely.

"Thank you Y/N. For everything. I always thought you will be the one I will have a happy ending with," he chuckle softly.

"Dont you remember," she tries to cover up her shattered heart with a smile that just seems forced. "I never promise you a happy ending," She teased him, repeating the words the two of them said to each other years ago when he asks her to be his.

"And I never said that I wont make you cry..." he whispered, as she nodded with a smile between her tears.

"Be happy Jungkook. I will always love you,"

Jungkook flashed his bunny smile one last time before she turns around and walk out. Walking out from his life forever, leaving him to ran freely into the arms of the love of his life as her whole world crumbles down around her.

/////

Jungkook smile as he pulls Nari towards him, sticking his naked chest om her naked back, limbs tangling with one another under the sheets. Its been a week since his break up with Y/N and he went and see Nari on the same day. It turns out Nari, Taehyung and Jimin all knows what Y/N has already planned for him, asking the two boys to give him the details of Nari whereabouts once she left. Although his two hyungs dont really approve of what he is about to do, they still do what they were asked to, respecting Y/N last favor from them. He ran until he was out of breath to see Nari waiting for him, and without waiting for another second he capture his lips with hers.

Jungkook is finally happy.

At least he wants to believe he is.

"Good morning sweetheart,"

"Good morning Kookie," Nari leans in to kiss him.

"No kissing until after I brush my teeth!"

"Nope, sorry. Cant wait that long," he trapped her under his weight and kiss her senseless, grinning once they broke the kiss. "I love you Y/N. Forever and always,"

Jungkook shakes her head. Where did that thought come from? He is with Nari now. The love of his life. The girl he waited for, for so long. Why is he still thinking about Y/N? Nari's voice broke his thoughts.

"Lets go out for breakfast!" She grinned happily.

"I thought that I would make us some breakfast and we can cuddle in bed all day. I have a free day until after lunch today," Jungkook pouts, hoping Nari would understand. He wants to spend the day with her, getting to know her again.

"No way! I finally get back the man of my dreams," Jungkook beams at her statement. "The most sought after idol. I want to show him off to the world," Jungkook's face fell the moment she finish her sentence. Something about what she said doesnt sit right with him. Does Nari only wants him back because he is well known now?

"Urm okay then," he silently agree, wanting to pleased the girl of his dreams and he just doesnt want to dwell to much into it. As he tugs and adjust his mask while they were walking down the pathway his thoughts drifted back to Y/N again.

"Kookie, stop tugging on your mask! I already told you if you are not comfortable we should just stay in. You know I make a killer breakfast," she grins looking at her boyfriend who is trying hard to conceal his identity with his mask, shades and hoodie.

"No. We have been dating for years and I have never once taken you out for breakfast!" He pouts underneath the mask.

"You know I dont mind right? I already know what I'm getting into when I agreed to date you," Jungkook stops walking and turn to face her.

"But arent you upset? Dont you want people to know you have a boyfriend? Or who your boyfriend is?" She shakes her head.

"No. I dont need all that. If they know then they know. I dont need to tell the world about it. I'm already happy and lucky to have you loving me,"

"What did I do to deserve someone amazing like you? I love you Y/N. Forever and always," He took off his mask as he leaned in.

"Kookie your mas-"

"Shh. Just let me kiss my girlfriend,"

"Lets eat here!" Nari's shrill voice broke his thoughts as they stop in front of an expensive restaurant.

"For breakfast? Isnt this a little too much?" Jungkook wondered. He was imagining eggs and toast, at his favorite diner. Well, Y/N's favorite diner, maybe some additional pancakes and bacon if they are really hungry, not this... 5 star restaurant.

"Well, this restaurant suits your world star status! Take off your mask Kookie. No one will mobbed you here. They dont let common people in anyway," common people? What has gotten into his Nari? Since when does she categorized people like that?

"Afterall, cant you see how pretty I'm dressed right now?" She twirled around, showing him her expensive dress that she made Jungkook bought her on their very first date after they got together, before heading into the restaurant. Ah, no wonder she wore such a pretty dress so early in the morning. Jungkook had wondered about it too, when he saw her outfit and her overly applied makeup, but thought maybe she just likes dressing up. Y/N would just wear her sweatpants and put her hair in a messy bun when they went out for breakfast, and she still look damn beautiful too him.

God, stop thinking about her Jungkook!

"Kookie, can we go shopping after this?" Nari suddenly asks him in the middle of their extremely fancy breakfast. Not that he minded, he can afford to eat it everyday if that's what she wants but Jungkook prefer something more domestic and comfortable, just spending time with his girlfriend and not trying to figure out which fork is meant for which meal.

"Sure... but I have to go back after lunch. We have practice today,"

"Oh, can I come with?" Jungkook hesitates for a moment. Should he allow that? But looking at Nari with her pleading big eyes he has no other choice but to say yes.

"Of course you can sweetheart," he flashed her his signature smile, making Nari squeal.

"Yeay. Oh my god I have to tell ny friends. They would be so jealous to know that I'm hanging out with the Bangtan Boys later! Hey do you know if Taehyung is seeing anyone, because my friend..." The rest of the conversation melted in the background as Jungkook starts to drowned out her voice. He doesnt need to know how excited Nari's friends are or how hot they think his hyungs are. Is that the only thing that is important to her? Letting people know that she's with somebody famous?

Its only been a week, but Jungkook is starting to feel like he had made a big mistake.

Weeks turned into months and Nari is still the same. All she cares about is people seeing her with Jungkook, dining at expensive restaurants, shopping and following him to practice where she will take endless photos and live videos with his hyungs, making them extremely uncomfortable. Where was the Nari that he remembered from 5 years ago? That cares for him and love him for him and not his status as someone well known? The Nari that sacrifice her happiness for the sake of his dreams and career? Did he only built her up in his mind? Has Nari always been like this?

Those thoughts starts to cloud his mind as Nari make her way out from his dressing room for the live show. She has made it a habit to come with him backstage now. Of course she does. There are a lot of idols back here, something that seems to interest her more than her own boyfriend did. Jungkook sighed as a knock was heard from the now empty room, his hyungs has all left to go to the stage already and saw Seolmin, one of his idol sunbaemin from one of the most well known group.

"Hi hyung, what are you doing here?" Jungkook smiled at him. They have met each other countless times during performnaces before and has gotten closely acquainted, where Seolmin asks him to be casual with him.

"Hi Jungkook," he turned towards the hallway before turning back to the younger man. "Was that Nari? Song Nari?"

"Ermm yeah. You know her?" Jungkook looks confused. Weird. From what he knows Nari dont really mingle with idols and celebrities except for him. But the way Seolmin smirks gives him chills.

"Of course. She's my ex girlfriend," Jungkook was extremely shocked. Nari told him that she wasnt with anyone during the five years they were separated. He wouldnt mind, five years is a long time to be alone, but why is she lying? "Wait, dont tell me she's your girlfriend now?" Jungkook weakly nodded before Seolmin started laughing.

"Typical," he huffed.

"What do you mean hyung?"

"Dont get this the wrong way Kook. But Nari here has been known among us to latch onto the most upcoming idols. The most well known. She dated me, Junhyo, Minseol, Donghee..." the list goes on and on and on. An endless names that Jungkook recognized as extremely well known idols in the industry. "And now you. Well, probably because BTS is the latest hype right now,"

"That... that cant be true," Jungkook's voice came out as a whisper. Nari loves me right? We have history together. "We met even before I debuted, five years ago. We were together then?"

"And let me guess. She left you?" Jungkook nodded.

"Yeah... but that's because my management wouldnt let me date. She did it to make sure I achieved my dreams..." Jungkook weakly tried to explain, but to be honest, even he himself doesnt seem to believe what he's saying right now.

"That could be true Kook, and she might have changed and is sincerely in love with you right now, but you better find out the truth before you get hurt. You are a good kid, I dont want you to get hurt. You seems like you are really in love with her too," he ruffled Jungkook's hair before giving him a sad smile and turn around to exit the door. "And oh, five years ago was when we met and dated too. Before she cheated on me to latch onto another uprising idol,"

What Seolmin told him haunts him all day. Is Nari really like that? He tried not to believe it. His Nari is not like that. She loves him as much as he loves her. She sacrificed everything for him, didnt she? That is how much she loves him. But as he glanced towards the crowd and saw Nari talking to other random fans while pointing and waving at him, Jungkook starts to doubt. Is being with someone well known that important to her? Jungkook starts to think about their relationship for the past months. Their relationship consists of nothing but expensive dates, shopping trips, public announcements, videos with his hyungs. No intimate conversation, purely sex, no asking him how his day went or telling him about hers, no cuddling and talking all night long... Its true BTS is currently the most sought after group right now. Is that why Nari happily wanted him back when Y/N talked to her?

Y/N.

Jungkook sighed. He misses her. He thought about calling her a million times since the breakup. Just wanted to ask her to hangout and listen to her talk about her day, but he knows its not fair to her. He broke her heart, the least he can do is give her the space to get over him.

Get over him... to be honest, that idea left a bad taste in his mouth. Its selfish, he knows that but the thought that Y/N no longer loves him... it doesnt sit right with him.

His eyes flicked back toward Nari who is in the crowd. He's going to find out the truth. Today.

"Hey baby! You were great today. I told some of your fans that we are dating, and you should see how jealous they were of me!" Nari starts talking once she entered his room. Jungkook huffed and turns to her, eyeing her excited form up and down.

"What's wrong baby? Saw something you want?" She start to smirk as she walk forward to him seductively, mistaking the look Jungkook gave her as lust. Jungkook stops her at arm length, pushing her shoulders making her confused and startled.

"Jungkook?"

"You didnt break up with me because you care about me achieving my dreams, or my career didnt you?" Jungkook's voice is low and cold. He decides that he is going to give her the benefit of the doubt. He is going to give her the chance to say no.

"Wh..what?" Her voice starts to shake, eyes starts to look everywhere but into his.

"Five years ago. When we broke up when I was about to debut. Did you or did you not break up with me because you are cheating on me?" Jungkook knows he doesnt have a solid proof. If Nari denies this, then he will believe her, but the fear in her eyes and the shaking of her voice is starting to prove to him otherwise.

"I...I..." Nari cleared her throat to regain some strength. "What are you talking about?" She said confidently but its a little too late now. Jungkook smirked.

"I had a little talk with Seolmin hyung today," was all Jungkook need to say before her face contorted into pure horror at the mentioned of the name.

At her reaction, Jungkook's whole body is radiating with anger. How could she do this to him? He thinks about her every day for the past five years, but everything he thought he knew is a lie! She cheated. She actually cheated! She never really did love him did she?

"Kookie, I... I," she avoided his gaze as she failed to find the right words to say to ease his anger.

"You cheated on me.... You. Cheated. On. Me!" He yelled, making Nari jumped. "You left me because you wanted to go to someone else. Someone who is more successful than me. Someone you can gain more popularity, money and status, didnt you?" He ran his hand through his face and hair in frustration. "Me being an idol is just an excuse for you to break up with me! I love you Nari. I never stop loving you even when we were apart for five years," his voice shakes as he starts to feel the tears of anger and frustration coming out on the last sentence. "I wasted my time waiting for you. I wasted my feelings thinking about you. Pining over memories of us that is not even true! I hurt Y/N multiple times because of you!" He is screaming now, making Nari's whole body shakes in fear as he moved backwards to get away from him. "Y/N...God Y/N..." he raised his anger filled eyes to stare into hers, giving her chills right to the bones. "Did you know that never once have I celebrate her birthday with her because it falls on the same say you left me?! I shut myself out from the world every time when I remembered you. Remember what we could have been. That's how much I love you!" He swing his arms all around. "I never take her to her favorite restaurant because we had our first date there and turn off the radio when her favorite song came on because its too painful, because it reminds me of you!" Jungkook points one shaky finger towards her. "But you... you are just using me,"

Jungkook cant contained his anger any longer. The girl he worship all his life is nothing but a lie. She never love him. Not even a bit. "I... I broke up with Y/N because of you..." his shoulders shakes, trying to hold back his sadness as he remembers Y/N.

What have I done to us baby?

"Dont blame me if you are a shitty boyfriend to her. She was your girlfriend for five years. Its not my fault that she cant make you love her!" Nari tried to defend herself but badmouthing is an extremely wrong move as it only sets off Jungkook even more.

"Get out," he released a low growled.

"Kookie, please. We can start over. I-"

"Get out. There's no way in hell I would ever want to be with you again. I dont ever want to see your face or hear your name ever again. Get out now before I do something that both of us will regret," Nari blinks back in fear at his voice, and with tears starting to rolled down her cheeks she gathered her things and left the dorm, leaving an angry Jungkook alone with his thoughts in the middle of the room.

It took him a while before he comes to his senses and calm down. The moment Nari left the room he immediately fished out his phone and start replaying videos of him and Y/N that he never deleted. Their memories together is too precious for him to delete, even if he did end up with Nari. The videos helps to calm him down. Y/N's smile and laughter, her silly dance and corny jokes, he miss them all. All the selfless things she do to ensure his happiness. How he can always count on her to calm him down when he is stressed out from work, how he can always talk to her about his troubles. The passionate nights they spend together underneath her sheets. Jungkook closes his eyes. They had spend five years of good times together, why did he ever think the memory of Nari would be better suited for him? He should have fought for Y/N. He should have told her she's ridiculous. The he loves her and not Nari. He should have never neglected her, hurt her, just to chase the memory of Nari.

He quickly gets up and grab his jacket, with only one destination is mind when he came to a stop in front of Jimin's room as his two hyungs were having a deep conversation.

"Y/N called me two days ago before she left,"

Wait, Y/N? His Y/N? She left? Leave to where? Jungkook hides himself from his two hyungs, trying to hear more of the conversation.

"You didnt stop her Chim?"

"I tried Tae, but she has set up her mind. But something she said makes me feel so bad for her. I feel like killing Jungkook for hurting her like that. She has such a beautiful heart. She doesnt deserve to suffer because of that stupid boy," Jimin sighed. "If only she had chosen me to fall in love with... I would have taken care of her," Jungkook felt his heart clenched with both hurt and jealousy. He hates the fact that he hurt Y/N when all she ever do for the last five years they have been together is loving him and doing anything to make him happy. And he didnt know Jimin felt that way. That just... scares him. Y/N could not possibly fell in love with one of his hyungs right? She couldnt right? She loves him.

"What is it? What did she say?"

"I asks her if she's really okay. She let out a laugh that sounded so sad it broke my heart," Jimin trailed off. "She said she will be fine if it means Jungkook is happy now. She hates thinking that she cant make him happy like Nari does, but the look on his face when she said she's letting him go to Nari just broke her. She hates herself for feeling the way she did. For hoping that Jungkook would laugh off her suggestion and calls her carzy, for Jungkook to say Nari is his past and he doesnt love her anymore," Jimin raised his eyes to meet Taehyung's. "But those words never came. Instead you know what that stupid maknae did? He thanked her and smile. Absolutely looking forward to see Nari again. At during that exact moment is when Y/N said she decides to really let Jungkook go,"

Let him go? Please tell me you still love me Y/N. Jungkook clutched his chest The pain he is feeling is starting to be unbearable.

"She said now she understands why Jungkook is always cold with her eventhough they have been together for five years. She finally realized that Jungkook never did love her. No matter what she did, Jungkook's love is always for Nari,"

"Wow..." Taehyung sighed, eyes sad. Sad for Y/N's broken heart. "That's-"

"That's not true!" Jungkook suddenly burst into the room, interrupting the conversation, hair looking disheveled, as if he has been running his hands through it a million times, eyes glazed with unshed tears.

"Jungkook?"

"That's not true hyung. I love her. I love Y/N. She is the best thing that could have happened to me and I lost her because I realized it too late," he plopped down on the floor. Taehyung and Jimin looked at each other, not knowing what to do with the distress maknae on the floor. "I want her back hyung. Please tell me she will come back. I have lost her havent I?" He wailed making Taehyung chuckle.

"Were you earsdropping Kookie?" Jimin looks at him with disapproving eyes but Jungkook didnt care.

"You are seriously so stupid Kookie,"

"Yeah and stop crying. You look ugly when you cry. The tears doesnt fit your muscle," Jimin continue to tease the maknae. Jungkook looks up to his two laughing hyung, confused as ever. How can they laugh right now? Cant they see how broken he is?

"Oh my god," Taehyung rolled his eyes. "You look like a lost puppy. You are really whipped for Y/N arent you?"

"Its about time. Hope he stops being so stupid after this,"

"Yah idiot. Stop being so sad. Y/N only went for a long ass vacation to clear her mind. She will be back soon," A smile instantly graced Jungkook's face. He can feel a huge weight has been lifted. Y/N is coming back! She didnt leave him!

"Wipe that stupid smile of your face," Taehyung glared at him. "It still doesnt mean she will take you back you idiot. You hurt her for five years, and you happily agreed to leave her for some other girl. Even I wouldnt forgive you if I am her,"

"That's true Kook. What you did is kinda shitty," Jimin immediately agreed. "But wait, what about Nari? You cant just break things off with her,"

"I already did..."

"What?!" Two pairs of eyes turned wide at his confession. "You think love is a game? Something you can take lightly? Chase after it when you wanted it and throw away when you dont? Did you know how much Y/N suffered because of he-"

"I do!" He cut his hyung off. "I do know how much she suffered because of Nari, because of me..."Jungkook nibbled his lips as he turned his gaze downwards. His hyungs were right. Would Y/N even forgive him? "But I have realized that Nari is not the girl I have build her up to be. Every memory I had with her is a lie. Y/N... she's the one for me. She's the one who makes me happy. I miss her everyday when I'm not with her. I... I am absolutely head over heels in love with her hyung," Jungkook's confession silenced the two older boys who look at each other, dumbfounded, silently asking the other what the hell had happened between Jungkook and Nari, but they decide that would be a question for another day.

Jungkook stood up and held both their hands in his. "I will win her back hyung. She loves me. I know she does. And I will show her how much I love her. I will never miss to celebrate her birthday this time. Hell, I will celebrate it for one whole year if it means she will smile again. I will let her listen to her favorite song on repeat, take her to her favorite restaurant anytime she wants. I'm no longer haunted by the memory of Nari and I'm going to prove it to her," his eyes turns soft all of a sudden. "All I want is Y/N,"

"Well, you have about a month to think how to get her back then,"

/////

Jungkook chuckles as he watches the video on his phone. The videos of Y/N in his phone is the only saving grace he has to keep him strong for the past weeks as he waits for Y/N's returns. Jimin told him that Y/N has disconnect her phone for an absolute peace of mind, not wanting anyone to get a hold of her. That is how hard she's trying to get over Jungkook. But Jimin also lets him know when she's coming back and he's been waiting for that day for weeks now.

And that day is finally here.

Y/N is coming back today.

He watch the videos again as he leaned his head on the glass window of the van, his manager taking him and his two hyungs who are asleep on each other's shoulders at the back seat to the airport. He is going to wait for her arrival. He's going to surprise her. Jungkook realized he never once spoken to her since their breakup, but he dont need to. He will use the rest of his life in making sure that Y/N knows how much he loves her, wants her, and regret what he did for the last five years.

"Do you love me?" Jungkook hears him asks her in the video playing on his phone, the screen showing her beautiful giggling face.

"How can you ask that? Its impossible not too," she giggle before running off alongside the beach.

"Hey, wait for me. I need my kiss!" The video shakes as he ran and it ends with Y/N giving the screen a kiss, making Jungkook smile.

The next video shows Y/N's sleepy face, grumpy for being woken up too early in the morning.

"Kookie, let me sleep," she whined into the video. "Why are recording me so early in the morning?"

"Because you look beautiful. I want to keep this forever. And I'm bored. Wake up baby," he laughs in the video as Y/N tries to hide her face with the blanket.

The video starts to play the next one, where they were running around in the kitchen, flour all over Y/N's face as he heard himself laughing and the camera shakes.

"Kookie, stop! I'm trying to make you breakfast!"

"I know. But the flour looks better on your face," he giggled. "I love you Y/N," the camera shifted angle to show him leaning in to kiss her. He must have placed it on the counter.

"I love you too Jeon Jungkook. Forever and always. Dont you even dare to break my heart," she poke his nose, making flour stick to it as she laughs.

Jungkook smile, feeling tears are starting to pool at the corner of his eyes. I'm sorry I broke my promise. I'm sorry for breaking your heart baby. He misses her so much. He wants all of this again. He wants to wake up beside her again. Cooking breakfast together, cuddling all day long.

He wants Y/N back in his arms.

Jungkook arrived at the airport ealier than expected, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand, Y/N's favorite flowers. When all the other girls will usually prefer roses, his girlfriend of course have a unique taste.

His girlfriend.

Jungkook really hopes she is willing to hold that title again. He really dont know what to do if she didnt. He swears to be different now. He will make her happy. He will shower her with everything she deserves. He will love her like she has never been love before. That is if Y/N still wants to take him back. Jungkook sigh, fear creeping in his mind. What if Y/N hates him now? What if the vacation is successful and she really did get over him? He did ran back to his ex girlfriend the moment she gave the okay. He smacked his head. What an idiot.

Jungkook shudders as he remembers the last word he says to her, which is months ago.

"And I never said that I wont make you cry..."

He is really an idiot. He really is. How can that be his parting word? If Y/N ever take him back, he swear he will say it to her every single day that he wont ever let her cry ever again. Noy a single tear will grace her eyes. How can he ever say that to her? How can Y/N still accept an idiot like him in the first place?

He paced around the waiting area, anxious and excited both at the same time. Trying to ease his mind, he watches the airport TV which is currently showing some K drama. A few minutes into the show, the program was cut to make way for a breaking news.

"Breaking News: Flight XXXXX bound to Seoul which is expected to arrive today at 1800 was reported to have crash. There were no survivors reported so far. Stay with us for more updates. We wish our sincere condelences to the friends and family of the victin of this tragedy"

Jungkook felt his world spin as he drop the flowers on the ground, losing all strength and collapse on the carpeted floor.

"Hyung... that's..."

"Y/N's flight," Taehyung finishes as he too collapsed on the ground next to Jungkook.

The gasps and cries from people who are also waiting for the same flight around him seems so far away as he can only hear a blinding sound in his ears. Flight XXXXX.

Y/N. Please God no.

Plesse dont take Y/N away from me.

"It cant be her. It cant be right hyung?" Jungkook is hysterical as he turns to both Jimin and Taehyung who is holding him, tears also evident in their eyes. The two kept quiet, not knowing what to say as they too cant believe the news. "It cant be her! It cant be!" Jungkook is yelling through his tears.

"Kookie, calm down. We still dont kn-"

"It cant be her hyung," he wailed. "I need to tell her I was wrong. I need to tell her I'm sorry. I need her to know that I'm happiest when I'm with her, not with someone else. I... I need to tell her I love her. She has to hear me say I love her. She have to, she have to!" Jungkook's cries starts to get weaker as he continue to weeped and wailed on the floor. Taehyung and Jimin engulfed him in a tight hug, both crying just as much as Jungkook himself.

"You didnt get to hear me say that I will love you forever too. I never get to promise you that I wont ever make you cry again. You boarded that plane because you need to get away from me. Me! Your stupid idiotic boyfriend! I'm.. I'm sorry baby. I'm so so sorry baby. I guess you meant what you said... we were not meant for a happy ending. Goodbye my love, goodbye Y/N," Jungkook's voice is muffled by Taehyung's shoulders as he hold them tight, making the other two cry louder at what the maknae is saying.

Memories of their last encounter starts to flood his mind. The way the tears stream down her face as she flashed him one last smile. Jungkook felt his heart break, shattered, ruined to tiny pieces with regret as his last words to her keeps replaying in his mind.

"I never promise you a happy ending, remember?"

"And I never said that I wont make you cry..." he whispered.

"Be happy Jungkook. I will always love you,"

A/N: Andddddd, for those who dont like sad endings, I did say in the announcement that there were no survivors so far. Do you think Y/N survived? Or could she have changed her flight and not boarded the said flight at all? I will leave it to you to decide 😘 Tell me what you think!

#bts #bts fiction #BTS jungkook #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan scenarios #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario

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fuckyeahexofics · 6 years

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fic search #171

180130. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where Sehun hit his head whilst on stage with the rest of EXO and I think he has to go off stage and to the ER. I also vaguely remember that it's hunhan (maybe sekai?) and that Luhan extremely worried. In the end of the fic I think Sehun died from the injury although I'm not 100% sure. Sorry if this was a messy and short explanation. If it helps, I think I read it on lj or aff, not A03 or tumblr. I appreciate your efforts!

180131. I feel like an idiot bc I found the fic through here but I lost it but it's sutao and suho accidentally mentally connects to Tao and has to leave his dad and Sehun behind to travel with Tao. And Kris is a dragon I think? and Tao refuses to speak to suho in their minds or give him the affection he craves

3. you’re a perfect 10 by glossymop

180202. hello!! i read a story about a year ago, and it was about kyungsoo/jongin. in this story kyungsoo would give jongin a rose every now and then, i believe kyungsoo was a tad (mentally) slow. i remember jongin never bullied him, but never stoped the bullies. then one day kyungsoo had a black eye and wouldn’t reveal his head, and the bullies had made him cut his hair. that’s when jongin stepped in. i was wondering if you have any idea what this story is!! thank you guys for your exceptional work

180203. Hi! I was wondering if anyone had an idea of what this one exo fic was called. I read it so long ago i can't remember the name/pairing. But the plot was that people could inject their idol's dna and become more like them and they were all obsessed with this one idol who had a terminal illness and i think it might have been jongin or sehun who tried to prevent people from dying bc everyone would get the idol's terminal illness too??? i'm sorry this is really vague...

5. To Touch A Daydream by WinterRobyn

180203. hey i was wondering, do you know a fic abt chanbaek, chanyeol has amnesia, he forgot everything else, not even his bestfriend's name (sehun), he only remembers a name (byun baekhyun). they supposedly broken up before the accident bc chanyeol's father wanted a straight son, after that chanyeol started to act up and baekhyun couldn't take it anymore. but it has happy ending! i read it on AFF. thank you so much!

6. Stardust by astroblemish (Baekchen) and taken down

180203. Hi, there is this baeksoo fic where some of the members have powers and kyungsoo is a scientist that tries to understand why they have them, then meets baekhyun in a bar when he is trying to flirt with him and discovers he has a light power and then tries to get him to help them with the experiments. Also Yixing is a psycologist. Do you guys know the name? Please help 😭

7. please don't ask me how i've been getting off by constantcandy

180204. Hi! I'm looking a chanbaek fics in which they have some kind of relationship but I'm not sure what it is called. It is almost similar to 50 shade of grey? I remember b went to cy's place after getting his msg and cy only fingered b bc that's the only thing he deserve for masturbing during his absent? There's two part. For second part cy use toy I think? And b have his bladder full. B end up peeing after he orgasm and cy said good job to him. it's being posted at here several times back at '13/14

180205. hello ^^ thank you guys for all of your hard work, there's this baeksoo fic where baekhyun works as an escort to pay for his sister who has cancer and kyungsoo is a doctor who helps him i cant seem to remember the title >< so if you please can enlighten me thank you

180205. Hi lovely admins! I’m trying to find this one fic but I’m sorry that I can’t be very specific considering I only glimpsed it once and I didnt even read the full description. All I remember was that it was an OT3/threesome fic where one of them was a priest. I don’t remember the specific pairing but it was on AFF and I think SeHun was part of the main pairing. Thanks so much and I’m sorry!

10.

180205. Hello lovely admins, i'm looking for this fic. its a oneshot hunhan with baby!kyungsoo. Luhan felt frustrated because he thought he was a bad parent. luhan tried to feed kyungsoo on his high/baby chair& kyungsoo accidentally hit the spoon, then luhan called sehun. turned out kyungsoo has fever. and sehun came home brings some ice cream (even tho it's winter / autumn) and then they were on bed, luhan felt bad and sehun said they were still learning. Kyungsoo said sorry and the end. Thank you~

11.

180205. Hi! I’m looking for this fic and I believe it was mpreg also HunHan. Luhan went to the doctors and they found out he could carry children so his parents disowned him for being different. His parents had a daughter(?) and would ignore luhan. Then Sehun made a bet with his friends that he could sleep with luhan(?) and ends up falling in love with him and sleeping with him. But then someone exposes luhan and also tells luhan what Sehun was doing. And then luhan runs away and doesn’t tell Sehun.

12.

180206. Hi, i have read the description of this exo fan fic and now i forget its name if anyone know then please help me to find this fiction. In this fiction the exo split into two teams with the members like the exok and exom they are like in a game where they have to make the other team members to fall in love with them and the other team has to resist falling in love and if they become unable to complete their task they must get the punishment. I'm really sorry i just dont remember much.

13.

180207. a-r-m-y4life Welcome back admins! As always this blog is a gift from the celestial dieties. ♡ I'm sorry to interrupt your day but I've been trying to find this fic for literally a year. It's an OT12 A/B/O, I believe it's Chanyeol/Yixing. It's a highschool!au and Chanyeol's an omega who has a crush on Yixing who's apart pf the basketball team. I think Yifan was also on the team and he's friends with Chanyeol and knows about his crush. And they go to a party and Chanyeol goes into heat. Thanks in advance. ♡♡

14. These Golden Years of Mine by cabbages

180207. monster-sus Hey! I was wondering if you could find this fic for me, I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find it. It’s a chatfic and it’s kyungsoo-centric, and chanyeol’s in love with kyungsoo but he’s going out with this girl (I think her name was yeseo or smth like that?), the girl had dated jongin before and jongin tried telling ksoo she was no good but he didn’t believe him. It was on ao3 and it was incomplete from what I remember. Thanks!

thank you anons, @lcmusic00 and kjkyungsoo for your help!

#fic search

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fedal-is-another-world · 6 years

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I was tagged by @psgmylife , thanks :) (oh and thanks for tagging me as one of your fav blogs, you are lovely <3)

Rules:

1. Post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you 3. Make eleven questions of your own 4. Tag eleven people

1. What’s your favorite poem and why?

I’m Hungarian and I adore everything about Hungary’s 20th century poetry. During the war so my amazing poems were born, full of emotions and hope. Even if they are “just” about everyday life, they were written beautifully.

And if I have to choose one poem written in English, that would be “If” by Kipling.

2. How are you feeling right now?

Oh really good question. So many (maybe too many) emotions mixed together. Dont know how to describe them.

3. If you could choose a famous person to spend an afternoon with, who would be and to what city would you both go?

Dodie Clark. Yeah, definitely dodie. We would walk around in London, or sit down in a small cafe and talk about everything. Ups and downs, music, movies, life and stuff.

4. What’s your favorite movie and why?

Movies are my passion, dont make me choose one pls :) But I’m gonna give some examples I guess. So maybe “La la land” or “Brooklyn”. “One flew over the cuckoo's nest”. Or literally any black-white film.

The explanation why I love them so much would be too long... :)

5. Best time of the day?

Late at night or very early in the morning

6. Best season of the year and why?

Autumn time is my all time fav. And maybe the beginning of winter. I love wearing big sweathers and socks and drinking tea all day long while watching a good movie or series or reading an interesting book and listening to music. And I’m that type of person (sorry not sorry) who feels the christmas vibes right after halloween so....

7. What’s your favorite food? Best restaurant/place to eat it?

Italian food is the best. I had a chance to eat it in Roma, nothing can be compared to that.

8. Name your future son or daughter.

Cornelia or Charlotte or Jane. Sebastian or Rafael

9. Favorite sports team?

I support Barca in football. But I really enjoy watching the Hun teams in waterpolo or handball.

10. A place in the world you would like to visit.

The mountains in Switzerland. Any part of Spain or Italy. Ireland. Anything in South America or Africa

11. Let us know your favorite quote:

“ You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” - Stephen King

My questions:

1. Name one thing you love in yourself:

2. That one artist/band you can listen to anywhere, anytime:

3. A nation’s culture you love and wanna know more about:

4. Favorite thing to relax, to clear mind?

5. Favorite snack or cookie?

6. Favorite character? (from a movie, book or anything)

7. What is your dream job?

8. What is the thing you admire most about a person?

9. Best live experience? (a concert, a match or anything)

10. Dream place to live?

11. Superpower you wanna have?

I dont wanna tag anybody directly but if you fancy answering these questions just do it :)

Ahh I really enjoyed doing this, thanks for tagging me <3 (and sorry for any mistakes my English skills are far from perf)

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beehuts · 6 years

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Pokemon of the California Chaparral!

I was inspired by a recent field trip i went on and couldn’t stop thinking about it until i made this post. Be warned: some of these aren’t completely scientifically based. As diverse as pokemon are, some of these just straight up dont match with local fauna, but i had an empty niche that was bugging me. This is by no means meant to be comprehensive, it’s just for my personal enjoyment. Also im a lazy typer so if you want an explanation on some of these that dont fully explain it, feel free to send me an ask and ill explain my reasoning. Also they arent in any particular order, just the order that i thought of them. ANYWAY!!!!! I put it under the cut cuz it big

Ponyta and Rapidash

Who woulda thought i would have a fire pokemon in the chaparral huh. For those of you that don’t know this extremely specific habitat, the chaparral is characterized by lots of flammable flora that facilitate wildfires. The idea behind this is that herds of ponyta and rapidash were accidentally released when they were brought to the Americas by settlers and, being fire pokemon, gravitated toward the hot chaparral regions. They have a particular taste for manzanita.

Vulpix and Ninetales

I bet ur starting to see a pattern here. These would be the equivalent to the gray fox, just… fire type. Hey, I never said all of these entries would be exciting

Cyndaquil, Quilava, and Typhlosion

Before anyone gets on me, i know they are supposed to be badgers. If you didnt know, the california state flag has a grizzly bear on it. The california grizzly. Who wouldve guessed? Anyway, i needed two things in this ecosystem : a small mammal and a friggen bear. This gives me the best of both worlds let me live also i may have wanted an excuse to include one of my favorite starters

Fletchling, Fletchinder, and Talonflame

Im only on my fourth entry this is going to take forever. I think these ones are pretty self explanatory

Houndour and Houndoom

Now i understand these are a bit of a stretch. My idea is that theyre the equivalent to coyotes. Sue me

Spearow and Fearow

Did you know theres a shit ton of birds that call this place their home? Well I do and what better birds to represent this rough back country than these mean ass birds right here

Doduo and Dodrio

These are your roadrunners. Maybe more of a southern thing than a foothills thing, but it didnt feel right not to include them

Vullaby and Mandibuzz

In heat this bad, you can expect a lot of dead things. Bon appetit

Rufflet and Braviary

Little known fact: in Wallace, CA along hwy 12, theres an eagle nest right on top of a power pole. Its neat. If you ever find yourself in buttfuck nowhere, CA make sure you keep an eye out

Noibat and Noivern

I already know this is the one of the ones im gonna get shit for and i was so so close to not including them. There are pretty extensive cave systems in the sierra foothills though so i feel like im justified

Zubat, Golbat, and Crobat

You can never have too many bats

Tauros and Miltank

At least in the sierra foothills, you see a lot of cows. Its good ranching country and i cant say those gold miners didnt utilize it after the spanish had the valley mowed down of its natural grasses

Bunnelsby and Diggersby

Jack rabbits are very common in this area and of all the rabbit pokemon, these seemed the most hardly and likely to live in satans playground

Deerling and Sawsbuck

These pokemon would only appear in the chaparral during the spring and autumn. In Spring, they would pass through on their way to the sierras in order to avoid the hot summers of the valley and in fall they would head back down to avoid the cold mountain winters. This was a common practice of the native tribes in the area, who based their behavior off of the migrating sawsbuck

Bonsly and Sudowoodo

Idk to me they are reminiscent of certain shrubs that can be found here and thats their whole shtick is to mimic trees

Grubbin, Charjabug, and Vikavolt

Now i know i know these are stag beetles and i know they dont belong in california. i just wanted some shit cool beetle and this is like the quintessential shit cool beetle

Scattterbug, Spewpa, and Vivillon (continental)

Butterflies are a pretty big thing in california. I just dont see the wurmple line being here (no silkworms) , but you could probably put the caterpie line and weedle line too. Maybe even venonat and venomoth. Use your imagination, i just didnt feel like putting a million different bugs in here that are basically the same

Joltik and Galvantula

There are ticks and tarantualas here. nuf said. and there ARE pokes for joltik to feed on they just arent mammals idk throw an electric mammal in there if it really bugs you (pun unintended) that much

Hoppip, Skiploom, and Jumpluff

When i thought of these, I really had the cottonwoods of the riparian and mixed conifer habitats in mind. They have wind dispersed seeds so i can just imagine these guys just floating on through not staying too long. It just felt lonely with no grass pokemon.

Helioptile and Heliolisk

Yes i see these more as desert pokemon, but chaparral is just a step above the desert. Game freak really needs to diversify their lizard selection but tbh i didnt look too terribly hard after i picked out these dudes it was getting late and i was getting tired

Seviper

This is another one i almost didnt include. I wanted something to represent the rattlesnake, but the only snake with a rattle was ekans and thats clearly a constrictor. Anyway, finally a place seviper can be free from harassment by zangoose

Dunsparce

And to conclude our list is everybodys favorite burrowing bee snake thing!

If you actually read through all of this, thanks so much! I dont expect this to get much attention, but it was fun to make so thats what matters ^-^ and like i said before, if you think i missed anything or want a deeper explanation into one of my picks, just let me know!

#pokemon #pokemon headcanons #pokemon biology #idk what else to tag this as but theres so many pokes theres no way im gonna list them all off in the tags #i just want interested people to actually see it ya know?#my posts #long post

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24hs · 7 years

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Ablaze

summary: Jeongyeon and Mina, Mina and Jeongyeon. This is about the fire that is their love for each other and how they’ve become one.

pairing: jeongyeon x mina

genre: fluff

words: 4700+

also readable here

ablaze

əˈbleɪz/

adjective

1. burning fiercely.

"Their clothes were ablaze."

2. very brightly coloured or lighted.

"Seoul is ablaze with colour in autumn."

3. filled with anger or another strong emotion.

"Her eyes were ablaze with excitement."

Asking for love advice probably wasn’t the worst idea, but coming to her friends with it was.

“Repeating”, Jeongyeon deadpans. “Repeating”, Nayeon agrees, nodding. “Thats the plan? Building up mutual habits and patterns?” Jeongyeon makes two peace signs and bends her knuckles when quoting what Nayeon said confidently earlier. “Just keep annoying her like you already do”, Dahyun nods, too, “She’ll grow attached to you eventually. Like Sana’s snorting, in the beginning I couldn’t stand it, but now? Can’t even fall asleep without it.”

“I want to be more to Mina than just an annoyance, Dahyun”, Jeongyeon groans.

(“I snort?”, Sana asks Dahyun, and Dahyun is suddenly utterly interested in her fingernails.)

“I dont think thats possible”, Nayeon frowns, “you’re kind of a pain in the ass.” Jeongyeon throws a bag after her.

Jihyo - the only one giving the issue the appropriate thought - smiles at Jeongyeon encouragingly. “Doesn’t hurt to try it, does it?”

Jeongyeon doesn’t think so - it comes from Nayeon and Dahyun, after all -, but in the end she doesn’t have any other options.

She wishes she had.

Mina’s face when Jeongyeon sits down next to her without a word of explanation during lunch is priceless. Jeongyeon would have probably laughed if she wasn’t so nervous and, well, if it wasn’t the ethereal, smart, graceful Myoui Mina. She gulps - her knuckles, clasping her meal tray, turn white – and then starts eating. Her hands are shaking. She tries to focus on the dull lettuce she’s chewing, but the only thing she can sense is Mina’s glimpse burning on her skin.

“You’re Yoo Jeongyeon from literature class, right?”, Mina eventually says - states - and Jeongyeon almost chokes on her food, trying to answer as quickly as possible.

“Yes, we also have Math together, but it’s no wonder you didn’t remember, I sit in the back and because of that I have to wear my glasses, my friend Chaeyoung- do you know her? She’s an underclassman, but I think she’s known for her art and stuff.. oh, anyway, she says I look like a whole different person with my glasses because they’re kind of old fashioned and round, but I think they’re still very pretty, do you want to see them?”

Mina blinks once, obviously overwhelmed with Jeongyeon basically spouting words, and Jeongyeon can feel the burning heat of embarrassment crawling up her neck.

Great job, dumbass, now she thinks you’re a loser.

“Sure”, Mina answers, sounding anything but sure, and Jeongyeon panics for a second because she forgot what she asked - being too busy scolding herself - and then she fishes her glasses out of bag. (She takes her time so her face can cool down a bit. It must be as red as the ketchup besides Mina’s French fries.)

“Here they are.” She puts her hand out, clearing her dry, so dry throat, and Mina takes them with caution. She looks at them for a moment and then gives them back.

Jeongyeon suddenly realizes that she probably didn’t know what to look at - it’s just a fucking pair of glasses - and her embarrassment reaches its climax.

“Thank you for sitting with me today, Yoo Jeongyeon, but I have to go now”, Mina says, her voice as quiet as usually, and yet it rings loud in Jeongyeon’s mind. She bows her head quickly in her direction - Jeongyeon’s face flushes even more - and walks out of the cafeteria before Jeongyeon can say anything (something along the lines of “Wait”, “I love you” or “I’m sorry for being a creep”).

Jeongyeon stares into the air for a second (processing the whole scene) before burying her face in her hands.

She was so going to jump off a cliff.

(Needless to say, she was never going to take advice from Nayeon ever again.)

(This statement doesn’t include her other friends.)

While her friends are having fun, Jeongyeon sits in a corner, alone, and sulking. Why did she think talking to her was an good idea? She should have just ignored her in classes.

Why, why, why?

Momo jumps next to her, sitting down on the couch. “Are you still pouting?”

“No”, Jeongyeon grumbles.

“Come on, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re right, it was even worse than that”, she scoffs. Momo nudges her - more or less gently. “Wanna hear a tip?”

“Not really, no.”

“You always have to be the first.”

“What?”

“When she falls, you have to be there to catch her. When she’s sad, you have to comfort her. Make her need you. With that, she’s going to fall for you in no time.”

Jeongyeon frowns. “Who are you to give me date advice? You have zero.”

“I dated!”

“Who?”

“I made out with Nayeon once, remember?”

“That’s not what dating is, Momo.”

But despite her mocking words, Jeongyeon is convinced.

(This was probably going to be another bad decision.)

The next days, Jeongyeon watches Mina. Of course, she doesn’t want something bad to happen to her, but it would be a good chance to act like - damn, she doesn’t know - a prince, maybe? (Sana said girls like to be taken care of, but Jeongyeon doesn’t trust her when it comes to an opportunity to expose Jeongyeon’s inner loser or, to be straight, to make her die from embarrassment.)

When the chance pops up, Jeongyeon almost fucks up, but she gives herself an C for the overall act.

Mina trips and falls to her knees - Jeongyeon didn’t know Momo meant the falling part literally -, and Jeongyeon hurries to help her up-

And slips, too.

Mina looks at her for a second, already half on her feet. “Did you fall on purpose so I wouldn’t feel bad?”, she asks, her cheeks pink, and Jeongyeon reddens, too.

“Uh, I wanted to help you and-”, she stops herself. “Yeah, that was totally the plan.” She hears a light chuckle and is already close to jump on her feet to fight whoever the fuck is laughing about them when she realizes it’s Mina. “Thank you, I appreciate it”, she says, covering her mouth with her hand and Jeongyeon is both really amazed and overwhelmed - because she just made the ethereal, smart, graceful Myoui Mina laugh and fuck, she’s cute when she smiles that way. It’s the kind of the smile Jeongyeon wants to see every single minute of every single day in her life.

“No problem”, she squeaks, and in the end Mina helps her up because her knees are suddenly made out of jelly and she can’t move at all. “See you in class, Yoo Jeongyeon”, Mina says, still chuckling. Jeongyeon widely grins at her and they stay like this for a moment, until they both part their ways. Jeongyeon brushes her left hand, where Mina touched her, with her right index finger. She’s is flying, floating, free. Her heart is light and her smile bigger than ever. (Chaeyoung tells her that she looks like an lovestruck idiot, but she doesn’t care.)

Her relationship - if you can call it that way - with Mina is finally evolving, and she hopes Mina can forget her awful first impression.

Slowly, literature and math become her favorite subjects, even though she doesn’t spend any attention to them.

Jeongyeon really, really wants to sit next to Mina, but she has found friends that now surround her whenever she’s alone, even if it’s just for a second. (Jeongyeon is glad Mina has someone she’s close with, but why can’t she become close with her, too?)

So she just glares at Mina when she can, wondering how a single person can be this pretty.

(She doesn’t notice that Mina turns her head in Jeongyeon’s direction from time to time.)

This time, Mina isn’t baffled when Jeongyeon sits down on her table. Or rather, their table - her new friends are right next to her, eyeing Jeongyeon with confusion.

(Jeongyeon can understand that, after all, Mina has probably never even looked at yet mentioned her. They must think she’s crazy.)

“Hi”, she smiles, and even though it’s a shy one, Jeongyeon is melting. “Guys, this is Yoo Jeongyeon. This is Lisa”, a girl whose hair-ends are dyed in neon green waves at Jeongyeon, “that’s Mint”, the small girl smiles brightly, “and this is Sorn.” Sorn has a small, cute face and makes a peace sign before giggling. Jeongyeon greets them, suddenly shy rather than brave. “How did you guys meet?”

“There is a schedule for foreigners so we can get to know Korean culture better”, Lisa says.

“Yes, we met Minari there”, Mint adds with a cute accent, stressing each syllable of her nickname for Mina. Jeongyeon nods, unsure if their relationship is stable enough for her to tease Mina about the pet name. (She wants to, though!)

She tangles her phone out of her pocket when it starts ringing and answers it. “Yes?”

(In the meanwhile Sorn asks “Minari” how Jeongyeon and her met, and Mina struggles to answer. She also blushes. Jeongyeon doesn’t notice.)

"What are you doing, you idiot?”, Nayeon’s voice snarls directly into her ear. She can hear Sana laughing in the distance. “Hah? What do you-”

“Get that girl’s number! Make up an excuse to leave and then smoothly transition to something like ‘Hey, I just noticed I’ve lost my number, can I have yours?’”

Jeongyeon scoffs, forgetting that four to six people are watching her (she’s not sure if Nayeon and Sana do, but Mina and her friends sure glare at her). “Get lost”, Jeongyeon mumbles into her phone before hanging up. “Everything alright?”, Lisa asks politely. “Yeah, uh, sorry, need to go. Catch up on school. Didn’t spend lot of attention at class today.”

“Yeah, I noticed, you were staring at M-”, Mint starts but ends up muffling since Sorn quickly put her hand on her mouth.

Mina blinks.

Jeongyeon knows she’s practically a genius, but still hopes she doesn’t figure, can’t put one and one together because if Mina notices that Jeongyeon has a massive, stunning crush on her she will literally die from embarrassment.

(Jeongyeon is bothered by the presence of Mina’s friends, she thinks it’s just an introverted thing, but without the typical signs of it, her heart and stomach act up, but it’s in a different way. When she tries to explain it to Sana and Momo, they just share a glance with each other. “Maybe you should try to avoid her for a while”, Sana suggested, nose crunched, and Momo continues:“ So she’ll miss you.” Jeongyeon, however, decided not to do that, mainly because she simply cannot. Mina has become a part of her daily life. The world is uninteresting and dull and bland without her and she can’t live like that anymore.)

“How is it going?” Chaeyoung asks, obviously bored, and lays her head on Jeongyeon’s shoulder, trying to read the book that’s opened in Jeongyeon’s lap. “With Mina? Great!”, she beams and turns her head to Chaeyoung. “I think sitting together at lunch became our habit now. Like, when I was sick the other day she even asked Sana where I was. And she’s really shy! I think we are really getting to know each other. Getting warm with each other.”

“That’s cool and everything, but, uh, I was asking about you studying, Jeongyeon.”

“Oh.”

“But I’m glad it’s working out for you”, Chaeyoung lets go of her and sits down on the chair next to her, running her hand through her hair. “Though I think you’re lacking in romantic actions. Poor girl probably thinks you just want to be her friend in a very desperate way and not that you want to get in her pants.” Jeongyeon scoffs. “I’m not trying to get into her pants, Chaeyoung.” (At least, she wasn’t for now.) “Also, what do you mean with ‘romantic actions’? Everything I did so far was pretty romantic.”

“I’m just saying you should show your love better. Buy her flowers, make her some genuine compliments, take her out. That kinda stuff.“

Jeongyeon gets goosebumps.

Love, huh?

She isn’t sure if she loves Mina.

Love is a grave word and Jeongyeon isn’t one to play lightly.

She wants to, though, because loving Mina sounds magical, as magical as Mina herself is, and Jeongyeon has always been the type to believe in some this big, this great.

“Mina”, Jeongyeon starts almost immediately when Mina sits down in front of her (today her friends aren’t with her, and Jeongyeon’s clique accepted a dozen lunchtimes ago that Jeongyeon wasn’t sitting with them anymore).

“Yes, Yoo Jeongyeon?”, Mina asks, smiling lightly, and it turns Jeongyeon’s fluttering heart as light. Everyone else would have made it sound too polite, too dull, but when Mina calls her by her full name, it gives it an almost teasing vibe, something she isn’t known for, but it only gives Mina yet another side Jeongyeon is amazed of.

The ethereal, smart, graceful Myoui Mina has turned into her funny, clever, lovely friend, and it’s even better than before.

As the leafs begin to turn into deep red, pale yellow and strong brown - the colors she associates with Mina, they’re livid yet calm, warm yet cold, pretty in the traditional sense but also in a deeper one only few can guess - her attraction turns into a spark that’s soon to be ignited by her feelings for her.

It’s a dumb thing to say and incredibly, awfully, terribly cheesy, but once Jeongyeon realizes she does, she falls all at once. Mina is now one of her closest friends, if not her favorite person, and Jeongyeon only avoids thinking that because it’s scary how much she suddenly means to her, always meant since their first meeting, just in another way now.

The advice her friends gave her along her way - “Be always there for her”, Dahyun told her, and Jihyo said that she always had to see right through her - naturally became her way of thinking as she wants to take care of Mina well, wants to protect her and wants to make sure no one or nothing will ever, ever harm her.

She doesn’t make her presents often, though, because she knows Mina wouldn’t appreciate bought stuff as much as hand picked flowers, self-made chocolate, a necklace with a heart shaped locket for a picture Mina can choose. (She doesn’t know what Mina put in. She hopes it’s a picture of her.)

“Where do you live?” Mina blinks, and then makes a movement with her hands as if she would draw a rainbow in the air. “In the moment.”

Jeongyeon stares at her for a second before bursting out in laughter. Mina’s expression changes from deadpanned to smug because her joke worked. “Really didn’t expect that, Myoui”, Jeongyeon grins. It’s adoring to see parts of her own personality in Mina’s, and she noticed that some of Mina’s characteristics were added to her own. They’re complementing each other in a nice way that keeps Jeongyeon warm at night.

Mina smiles widely, her eyes almost disappearing. From all of Mina’s smiles, this is probably Jeongyeon’s favorite. (Just kidding. All of them are her favorites. She could never choose.)

“My parents own a house in Gangnam”, Mina says when they both calmed down. “What about you?” She doesn’t brag, just states, there’s no pride in her voice.

(Jeongyeon loves it, but she loves everything Mina does, so it probably doesn’t really matter.)

“I live with my older sister in Seocho”, Jeongyeon hums. Mina looks like she wants to ask further - the way she blinks and gazes more intensely and her chest rises -, but in the end, she doesn’t.

“Do you want to stay at my place at the weekend?”

Jeongyeon hears herself asking - she doesn’t know why she chose to do so, but it happened instinctively. Maybe it’s because she wants to be closer, even closer to Mina - so close they will ask each other right away when they want to know something. No, she’s sure this is it.

Mina looks at her, eyes soft. “I’d love to, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

Jeongyeon is nervous, which is something she hasn’t felt in a while. Not with Mina.

“Let’s play a game.” Jeongyeon glares at Mina when she lays her index finger on her lips, acting like she is thinking about declining the offer (even though both know she wouldn’t. At least not without a reason).

“What are the rules?”

They sit on Jeongyeon’s floor, leaning against a wall that’s covered in photos from Jeongyeon and her friends, sometimes selcas with her sister.

(Jeongyeon is proud that Mina likes - loves - her room. She knows that because 1. she sees the glowing in Mina’s eyes when she first entered and 2. because she told her herself. Almost in those words.)

“I ask a question and you need to answer as honest as you can. Then it’s your turn.”

“That’s just talking”, Mina laughs, and Jeongyeon grins. She cannot not when she’s with her.

“It’s a game to get know someone’s desires and stuff! So, Myoui Mina, when was your first kiss?”

“Oh, it’s that kind of game? Jeongyeon!” She gives her a light slap on the wrist, gasping, but smiling right after so Jeongyeon doesn’t think she’s serious.

“So? Remember, you need to be honest.” Jeongyeon tangles her hand with Mina’s, with caution, because they were never really the touchy type of people ; but suddenly, if it’s Mina, Jeongyeon wants to touch her more than everything. Wants to know what her hair smells like and wants to know if her lips are as soft as they look like.

Mina squeezes Jeongyeon’s hand and it sends a jolt down her spine. “My first kiss, huh?” She stares in the air, thinking about it, and then says:“Last year of middle school.”

"With who?”, it slips from Jeongyeon’s tongue before she can stop it, and Mina smiles.

“Isn’t it my turn?”

Jeongyeon puckers her lips.

“Yeah. What do you want to know?”

“How many…”, Mina hesitates, “boyfriends did you have?” Jeongyeon glares at her. Mina’s voice flattered when saying the word “boyfriends”, and she’s sure she’s interpreting it the right way. Suddenly, Jeongyeon feels incredibly confident. She has to suppress the everlasting smile that always comes up when Mina’s there.

“I had a girlfriend last year”, she says softly. Mina’s mouth turns into an implied “o”. When Jeongyeon turns her head to the side she can swear she can see Mina smiling to herself, but when she looks at her again, it’s gone (but it stayed in her eyes for she could tell).

“Who stole your first kiss, Myoui Mina?”, Jeongyeon asks, whispers, she can feel her voice vibrating in her throat. “I don’t even remember her name”, Mina mutters, voice unusually husky. Jeongyeon’s heart starts to beat faster, wants to escape the its ribcage and be with Mina’s forever. They’re definitely blurring the line now. If she tried to grab the electric air, she could.

They stay like this for a little while and no one can really disturb them. Mina’s thumb idly brushes over Jeongyeon’s index finger, there is no need for any words.

Jeongyeon realizes that she’s fine if it’s just the two of them, eternally, and even if that amount of time sounds awfully long, Jeongyeon doesn’t mind spending it with

Mina. At all.

“Yoo Jeongyeon?”, Mina asks, breaking the silence, but it doesn’t feel like a sharp cut, rather than dipping something in honey, because that’s what Mina’s voice right now is like - sweet and slow and almost sacred.

“Yes, Myoui Mina?”, Jeongyeon stares at her lips, trying not to, but she couldn’t suppress it if she tried, anyway.

“Do you have a crush on someone?”

Mina’s voice became stronger with every word and Jeongyeon loves it. It means that Mina is overcoming her shyness, that they become closer. If her funny, clever, lovely friend Myoui Mina can be brave, Jeongyeon can be, too.

“Yeah”, she says, almost choking on her words because they want to go, go, go, break out of her heart, “do you?”

“Yes”, Mina breathes out, and Jeongyeon knows they’re experiencing the same thing right now. “I do.”

Mina hesitates for a second, but it doesn’t matter because Jeongyeon knows what she’s going to ask and she’s bracing herself to answer.

“Who do you l-”

Seungyeon tears open the door and Jeongyeon and Mina jump apart, untangling their fingers. Mina looks like a deer facing a car’s light. Jeongyeon isn’t sure if she wants to faint or slap her sister for interrupting them like that. “Um, the pizza arrived”, she says, at least looking appropriately sheepish. Jeongyeon nods, killing Seungyeon with her eyes until she closes the door behind her. Mina stays silent and Jeongyeon stands up, offering Mina her hand ; she takes it immediately. But the spell is broken and they share an unusual tensed silence while eating.

The evening fades and makes space for the night, and they sleep next to each other, side to side, and when Jeongyeon wakes up, the first thing she sees is Mina’s face, looking peaceful, and it makes her calm. She stares at Mina’s nose, lips and jaw line, and when her eyes open, fluttering, she panics, but doesn’t look away because she wants Mina to know how much she adores her. They’re passing the phase where they’re denying their feelings slowly ; at least Jeongyeon thinks that - she’s sure her crush is mutual. She isn’t the type to get blinded, she can see the signals Mina’s sending her, she isn’t just hoping Mina likes her.

Then why does she feel they’ve hit a low point with delaying that conversation (confession)?

It’s the first time since weeks they don’t sit next to each other and Jeongyeon is close to a break down. Mina isn’t in the cafeteria - hasn’t been in school all day -, and she can’t think about anyone else.

"Where’s Mina?”, Tzuyu asks, chewing her noodles. “She must be ill”, Jeongyeon responds, sounding pressed.

Tzuyu nods, and then asks:“ Have you already told her you love her?” Jeongyeon isn’t eating - too anxious, she wouldn’t get one bite down her throat -, but she still chokes on her saliva.

“What?”, she splutters, waving her hand in front of her face so it’ll go from red to its normal color.

“You love her, right? You should always show your love well”, Tzuyu says, frowning.

Jeongyeon glares at her when she calmed down. To her, Tzuyu is still a child, mainly because she takes what she wants. Not in a selfish way, but she doesn’t think about what people could think, she just takes the risks.

“Yeah”, Jeongyeon says, kind of amazed by the conclusion she got into herself, “I love her.”

“Don’t give up, Unnie”, she answers, focusing again on her food. “Take the step.”

When Mina opens the door and looks at Jeongyeon standing in front of her, it awfully feels like their first official meeting. According to Mina’s smile, not only Jeongyeon thought about it. “Hi, Myoui”, she says, grinning. Her anxiety is flaking off slowly, she’s been never relaxed like this with anyone else. Only Mina has this influence on her and she loves it.

“What are you doing here, Yoo Jeongyeon?”, she asks, leaning against the door. Jeongyeon lifts her bag. “Mind if I stay over?”

It’s the same situation as the one last week, but it’s also completely different. Mina’s parents are gone, so they have the whole house - actually, it’s a villa - for themselves. Because it’s late (the stars came out a long time ago, Jeongyeon is just glad she didn’t disturb Mina) Mina suggests they go straight to sleep after dinner.

When they were at Jeongyeon’s they ate pizza on the couch while watching a Chinese movie both didn’t understand, and it was comfortable and chill and calming.

Now, as they are at Mina’s, they sit at a long table with candles and eat something the Myoui’s private chef (they have their own cook) made for them. It gives Jeongyeon family vibes - like they lived together and had their routine, and both ways just felt so right. Everything feels right with Mina, no matter what they’re doing, when they’re together it just clicks and fits like they’re a puzzle with the solution included.

“Hey, Jeongyeon”, Mina whispers. “Are you awake?”

It’s dark in Mina’s room, the only source of light comes from the small gap from the slightly opened door. “Yeah”, Jeongyeon whispers back.

“Want to continue that ask game?”

Jeongyeon can’t suppress a smile. “Would love to”, she mutters, carefully trying to reach for Mina’s waist so she knows where she’s laying. Mina comes a bit closer and now Jeongyeon can see her vaguely. She looks stunning in the soft light (when does she not?).

“It was your turn, right?”, she teases when Mina doesn’t speak up immediately, and Mina snorts (it’s very cute and Jeongyeon melts).

“Who do you like, Yoo Jeongyeon?”

Jeongyeon has never been particularly what they call brave. She may doesn’t look like it, but she’s more the shy and - it hurts admitting it - cowardly type. How often did she have to stop Nayeon jumping down from the climbing scaffold when they grew up, always without the courage to do it herself?

However, Yoo Jeongyeon believes Myoui Mina changed her.

And if she hasn’t, her desire to confess is big enough for Jeongyeon’s courage to reach its maximum.

(Well, almost. She still doesn’t dare to say it. Rather, she-)

Jeongyeon takes Mina’s face in her hands, leans forward and finally kisses Mina, and it’s the best feeling ever.

Mina kisses her back - almost as if she foresaw and solely waited for her to take the step -, and Jeongyeon can feel Mina smiling and she wants to spend the rest of her live like this, with Mina, just kissing the love of her life, because honestly, that’s what Mina is for her. And Jeongyeon has no time to lose so she tells her, tells her that she loves her and did since months and Mina chuckles and says that she fell for her months ago, too, and Jeongyeon can’t help but smile and Mina smiles too and they’re in love.

Jeongyeon loves Mina and Mina loves Jeongyeon and everything is alright.

They’ve come a long way, awkward strangers to close, close friends. A spark that eventually led into fire, and it wasn’t like the love stories in movies, books, comics, it wasn’t a big firework from the start, and honestly, it’s even better this way.

They’re ablazed and Jeongyeon loves it.

#jeongmi #twice #girl group #fanfic #writing

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evakaname · 7 years

Text

tagged by @uchihanochidori

♦ AGE: 26 (I know, I’m old TOO :P)

♦ BIGGEST FEAR: Losing my parents/getting sicker/death... pick one

♦ CURRENT TIME: 11:50 pm

♦ DRINK YOU LAST HAD: herbal tea

♦ EVERY MORNING STARTS WITH: whining, of course, and/or desperately clutching to the latest dream which for sure gets interrupted at the best part like last time when i finally got the hot girl all to myself after a long ass adventure.... meh looks like im still pissed XD

♦ FAVORITE SONG: I for sure cannot decide that... or think of any atm, but my taste is VERY eclectic.

♦ GHOSTS ARE THEY REAL: Fuck u just kicked that jar of worms open. Fine. Here. i reeaaalllyyy wish i could say no with confidence, for only that agrees with my scientific beliefs, but damn i had 2!!! GHOST ENCOUNTERS in my life, one seen by others too, one refused to go away, and please feel free to come to my chat and explain them to me, so i can more easily seal and push it under a rug again and pretend it never happened so i can live in happy ignorance, cuz i to this day cant explain those “events”. I never even believed in them... mocking me then? XD OR its not ghost nor hallucination but then what i dont have such crafty people around in this small old village ...not that it wasnt the most frighteningly BEAUTIFUL thing ever, one with the most BEAUTIFUL voice i cant even compare to anything ive heard EVER, repeating one word over and over, (so yeah i guess i AM nuts after all XD) but it still all doesnt fucking agree with my world-view. So come and prove im just crazy and how collective hallucinations happen. I want an explanation. Wow i got carried away. But lets just forget and live in peace now, again. One either gets obsessed over a mystery or moves on.

♦ IN LOVE WITH: "dreams”

♦ KILLED SOMEONE: hah BIG confession times i see, who even... was this post started by some sneaky agents to trick idiots? :P lol. No. Im innocent on this matter, of course. :P (But really. No.)

♦ LAST TIME YOU CRIED: .... end of YOI s1?... maybe.. idk... rarely.

♦ NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2

♦ ONE WISH: to get HEALTHY!!!! hah, i wish. Perfect wording.

♦ PERSON YOU LAST CALLED/TEXTED: Last called my current main doctor / Last texted my best friend

♦ QUESTIONS YOU ARE ALWAYS ASKED: huh... “how are u feeling” probably

♦ REASONS TO SMILE: OTPs, FANFICTION, FanART, YOI, happy GAAAAYYYS, gloriously gay stuff in general :D, ‘SNS, music, good movies, love’, friends, flowers, good games, good books, scientific progress and new revelations, from-tiny-to-big acts of kindness, CATS, pets, pretty people, pretty stuff, water, comments, beloved nice strangers-but-friends ‘on the internet’ texting u/ commenting something making your shitty day much better like a magic spell somehow, others smiles, excitement, loving family, kind words, cool cars, our ability to “dream”, naps, good food, those slow moments of peace, those strong moments of adrenaline high (of good excitement like extreme sports), LIFE. etc... people should do these lists daily. Hope u found something here too summoning back a smile it caused :)

♦ TIME YOU WOKE UP: 8:00 AM but FUCK summer time just hit that would have been 7 yesterday whyyy

♦ UNDERWEAR COLOR: ... why someone even... ok.. oh, white today.

♦ VACATION DESTINATION: hmm.. for the year? Or, one big plan.. idk but im laying bored so: well next month Netherlands for the tulip blooming, driving around Transylvania for a few days with my best friend at summer, maybe La Spezia (Italy) for a week also summer, ... damn and also squeezing in the the seaside trip week with dad at Black Sea, a Mondocon weekend at Budapest -autumn, and some trips to our mountain house across the year... guess thats all for this year.. for now. (lol and people call me a hermit cuz im not going out like normal people ever and socializing)....O.O ...damn i just realized im gonna need a plan... will my new boss even be this laid back...

♦ WORST HABIT: oh boy... how to pick... staying up at night despite knowing better is probably the worst.

♦ X-RAYS YOU HAVE HAD: ..but why... i guess almost everything from hips to neck. (lol i probs should get my head checked out XDDD)

♦ YOUR FAVORITE FOOD: i wish so bad id never have to eat it just hurts me so NONE really

♦ ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio

♦ TAGGING: @frosty-haddock @katsudonski @no-signs-no-lights @beanpots @fangirlandiknowit101 @gweatherwax @niteangel496

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survivornavarino · 6 years

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Episode #9: I’m A Fighter -Jake

*loud screeching noise* AHHHHHHHHHH omfg i cant believe we just did that #beam 4 life ok so like i feel horrible because i love drew but he was trying to make an alliance and it didnt include me and i had to take him out before it was too late because while it wouldnt be me this vote it probably would next time so like sorry drew i love u im sure this doesnt help my case for like why u should b my friend but like i rlly am sorry. also i feel bad for lying to jake but it just wouldve gotten back to drew and i didnt want to risk that. im hoping he doesnt hate me too much for blindsiding his ally but like again, they were trying to have a majority alliance that i wasnt a part of and i just didn't want to deal with it tbh. maybe jake and i are just doomed to eternally be on separate sides in games idk (sad music plays) umm trixie idk we dont really talk we just kind of coexist UM HOLDUP JESUS CHRIST WE JUST FUCKING MERGED WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WIG ON PLUTO WHAT TO HECK ????? im off to plot heathers demise xoxo gossip beckka

Woot Woot its merge loves. Time to be a complete mess and be first merge boot. Hehehe

I MADE IT, MY SECOND ATHENA GAME AND I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN IM INCREDIBLEY HAPPY. Let’s hope I don’t get eighth place again, and if I’m gonna be honest I need Drew gone if I’m gonna win. He’s so fucking good at challenges. So eliminating him would mainly be out of fear.

Remember how I’m a dumbass? Me too ok so Drew was eliminated already.

Excuse me I am stupid and don't get letters are better as numbers... and also reversed. I would like an explanation plzz

words tried in number form and reversed so far that have not worked. Emily-Amanda-Abbey-Francie, Navarino, Survivor, Athena. Im gonna cry I cant find it yet.

Oh yeah tea, I ended up finding a secret advantage called the deja vote which means I can steal someone’s vote from a tribal and re-use it at a later tribal

This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out. Okay so looking back at my last confessional, bitch I'm boo boo the fool. I seriously thought Eddie and Autumn were being honest with me because I trust(ed) them sooo much, but it turns out they were playing me and orchestrating a Drew blindside behind my back. So before I went out last night, EVERYONE told me they were voting Matt. Then two minutes before the vote, Eddie and Autumn message me like "JAKE! Are you here??? SOMETHING is happening" like bitch shut the fuck up something is not happening don't act like this shit just happened last minute. Then they say "Drew is getting voted out tonight!" So...I went to Drew and told him to play the idol if he had it. Because I didn't want Matt staying if I was voting for him. But Drew said he didn't have an idol, and Eddie found out that I told Drew and told Autumn. So after I got home I messaged the group chat with Eddie and Autumn and told them that I was upset by them lying to me bc I did trust them the most. Then Autumn decided to get ballsy and reply "I don't buy that at all since you told Drew to play his idol, you were more loyal to him than me." GIRL STFU yes the fuck I did tell Drew because you told me TWO MINS BEFORE TRIBAL - MEANING YOU KEPT THE VOTE HIDDEN FROM ME ALL DAY. DON'T SAY IM DISLOYAL WHEN YOU WERE THE BIGGEST MFING SNAKE THIS ROUND! ...Anyways. Autumn then tries to come for me by saying "So tell, what's with this alliance between you, Eddie, Drew, and Trixie." And this is when I got more mad. BC Drew proposed this alliance to me, but it was never made, hell I didn't even tell Trixie about it. And when I told Eddie about it I told him I think we should tell Autumn about the alliance (Since he wanted to as well) So it became clear that Autumn was spreading to rebecka and matt that I was in an actual alliance with them to get them all to turn on us. So um Autumn, I wanted to trust you and go far with you in this game, but you're dead to me in this game now and I want you GONE. Autumn has the most connections here. She has Eddie, Rebecka, Matt, Ben, and I've heard that she has Mitch as well. She is a huge threat and if I can find a way to take her out, I will. But right now I need to focus on surviving. After the vote, Trixie added me to a call with Julia. Julia told us all of the alliances she's in (and she's in a damn lot) and said she basically likes Trixie more so she's working with us. Umm okay that's cool. I hope she's being serious because my life in this game is in Julia's hands now. She has all these connections and I need to get her to gun for someone that isn't me, Trixie, or Shoib. I've decided that my ideal final 3 would be with Trixie and Shoib because I trust them the most now, we've been together since day one, and we're all fans. It would be perfect. Sooo yeah. I also talked to Heather and basically blamed Tyler for all the animosity between us. I am trying to repair relationships and hopefully push the target off my back because I am worried about being targeted for 12th. IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO! I am in SUCH a bad position right now and it's so annoying. At the start of this game I had a lot of allies and the two people who trusted me the most (Tyler and Drew) are gone. But I'm a FIGHTER. I will NOT give up! I was in the minority at merge in crossroads and turned it around and made it to FTC so I just have to keep pushing and hopefully I'll get the same results! Woo wig! This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out.

https://youtu.be/iUDlOxxgtz0 my face in the thumbnail for this video is so funny cause it's when i found out of another to do the idol search. Obviously we know it didn't work adhshjks

I am pumped for this merge, I feel like I am playing a really under the radar game and it will make people come to me and ask me to vote with them if the game does break down into two sides, which I think it will. I trust Julia and Trixie the most right now and Trixie has two FREAKING idols omg. I also trust Mitch and Autumn but they are my secondary alliance which I will fall back on if I lose Trixie and Julia

Ok so no one is really messaging me about the vote, which is scary. I don't want to be first merge boot. The only people who have spoke to me are Matt, which he is confused, and Jake, which says no one really spoke to him about the vote yet. I did hear that people thought Ben and I were close, which like we have voted together, but aren't to close. I know now that Trixie has an idol and someone found the merge idol so FUN. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST MERGE BOOT.

Me starting a grassroots movement of Ben vs Heather cause I'm not aligned with either? Yep. Me forcing people to show their hands and make choices? Absolutely https://68.media.tumblr.com/41399c7dcc99b69388de05d609f7323c/tumblr_inline_o6ola1oDhw1sso1z7_500.gif Look none of these votes will be easy cause I like everyone and I'm aligned with almost everyone but it's Survivor I ain't scurd. I neeevvveerrr talk to Ben or Heather so I'm just gonna be a swing vote in the mess I created. Also feel free to give me the villain edit that's the one thing I haven't accomplished in Athena, besides winning or beating my placement. If not that's cool too I'll just continue to be my messy antihero self. Ok bye! Time to disappear and let the drama fester while I'm at work

You know what would be great, if more people would know who the vote is gonna be. Won't be surprised if that is me to be quite honest. Right now I hear Ben and if that is the only name I hear, I'll do it.

i never thought i'd say this but I WANNA HEX JULIA THE WITCH. okay not really bc i dont want her to read this and think im actually mad. but im wary of what i say to her now considering she told heather about my idol hehe

The votes for me cuz Beckka is bitter over another game. At least in that game I didn't isolate her. I'm prob just gonna cry in a corner.

This is a mess

this round has been a fucking mess and a half and im too busy rn trying to save my ass to make it all sophisticated i have a lot to say so if i stay ill explain everything later but basically autumn came to me today saying she wants to flip on ben so im trying to rally eddie trixie shoib julia and heather to get 7 on ben but apparently ben is throwing my name out bc he doesnt want to vote heathwr and immm fucking nervous idek if heather will wanna vote ben now if hes trying to save her what if she flips like this is bad help

The first merge vote is stressful as fuck cus there’s 12 people. I’m fine as long as it’s not me.

Don't know what's going on. Voting heather and hoping it works!!!!!

Good god am I glad I'm immune for this bullshit Let's start with merge. Woo merge! The idol system is announced. I actually make progress on the advantage hunt! Then I finish it. And someone already has it. GREAT So then I try the idol hunt and someone ALSO has it! GREATER. So now I have to worry about that shit. So I won immunity somehow because I guess preparing was a good idea since I blew through the second round. I won't be first merge boot in Athena woo!!! But now the vote is fucking crazy. I want to vote out Heather because, as sweet as she is, she's got a lot of ears listening for info for her and it's better to get someone like that out early before it's too late. But people don't want to because they're the ears! Big surprise. People are between Jake and Ben and Heather and honestly? I want to keep Ben around a little more. My plan for now is to not have one big alliance, but rather to be a part of small trio alliances so people can have my back without the worry of a huge alliance fracturing. I just have to keep the trio members safe. My planned trios are as follows: Ben, Mo, myself Shoib, Autumn, myself Rebecka, Julia, myself (WIP) That's 7 people who have my back in varying circumstances, as long as they're being truthful. I've also been alerted to a greater alliance of Matt, Ben, Julia, Mo, and Rebecka. Hopefully this trio plan will help me get in with those people more, and perhaps in the close future I can take out Matt and get rid of that variable.

i made merge!! its lit!! there hasnt been a lot going on so far. nobodys really reached out to me and ive been so busy so im just going with what rebecka wants, which is heather. i’m not sure voting heather is a good move for me, in fact i know its not, but unfortunatelt i dont have the time to make another move and im just tryin to survive

What is going on here on this day? This is a mess and i'm just on the train a long for the ride. I'm hearing Ben, Jake, and Heather, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's me tonight. Like I'm sure they're afraid of Jake having an idol, so why not throw their votes on someone who's irrelevant at the moment and who probably wouldn't see it coming? Anyway, I HIGHLY doubt Ben is leaving tonight, and I don't really believe that the votes are going on Heather or Jake, idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk. I really hope Jake stays, and I really hope Ben goes or I am probably screwed af.

#turnuptheheat

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theweirdlifeofzub · 7 years

Note

There's 150 questions so i challenge you to pick the first 75 to answer or the second 75 to answer or choose every odd number or choose every even number, GO!

I’m gonna pick all the odd ones.. here i go lol

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

the last person i dont really remember, not held hands with anyone in a while

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

don’t really have anyone in mind that i am going to see

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yes

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

idk

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

if it’s with someone that i class a friend then no, if it’s someone random or that i don’t know well then yes

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

‘bish waaat’

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i spent time with people that i love

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

there has to be

19. Do you like bubble baths?

not had one in ages but i loved them

21. What are you bad habits?

i overthink

23. Do you have trust issues?

slightly

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

does ‘all of it’ count as one part? lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

id say neither but if it had to be one slightly darker

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

not to my knowledge

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

nope

33. Spell your name with your chin.

zzyhbaud (supposed to be zubair)

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

literally nothing

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

allsaints (albeit too expensive), yankee candle (albeit i buy the same one candle), and starbucks (albeit i only buy hot chocolate)

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

everyone deserves a second chance just not for the same mistake

43. Do you smile at strangers?

lol no

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

existential dread

47. Have you ever been high?

i wouldnt class it as high, i tried a tiny bit but it wasnt enough to make me high at all

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

recently not that i can recall

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

in the past yes but im kinda happy with who i am

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Clinique (dont ask why)

55. Favourite blog?

currently its @softporn

57. Favourite food?

chinese food

59. First thing you ate this morning?

eggs

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope i haven’t

63. Ever been in love?

yes

65. Are you hungry right now?

its 1:31am answering this question, no im not

67. Facebook or Twitter?

facebook

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

71. Craving something? What?

a hug

(there are two 72′s, so the numbers will turn even now but if you look at the questions its in order still)

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 1 id say

76. What colour is your underwear?

grey and yellow

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

vanilla

80. What colour pants?

like burgandy? idk

82. Favourite movie?

im gonna have to say 3 because its the lord of the rings franchise, i cant pick only one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory

88. Last person you talked to today?

my friend

90. Name a person you love?

someone?

92. In a fight with someone?

nah

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

a lot, im not going to count them, just trust me. its a lot

96. Favourite actress?

lucy hale id say

98. Do you tan a lot?

not at all

100. How are you feeling?

right not fairly happy

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

a lot of things

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i know of

108. What should you be doing?

it’s 1:38am - i should be asleep

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes lol

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my friend

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

well im in the uk, but i’ll change the question to country - not in a while

116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope

118. Do you like Chinese food?

i love it

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

sometimes lol

122. Is cheating ever okay?

never

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

not at first sight no

126. Are you currently bored?

im more sleepy lol

128. Would you change your name?

nope

130. Do you like subway?

depends on my mood but most of the times yeah

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my friend

134. Can you count to one million?

im honestly too lazy to

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

138. Curly or Straight hair?

im going to answer it to what i prefer - i prefer both really

140. Summer or Winter?

both, i wish it was winter weather with summer day lengths. thatd be the best

142. Favourite month?

november, its the end of autumn but the start of winter soon

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk chocolate

146. Was today a good day?

today was yeah

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; you just wake up one morning and you’re not as upset anymore.”

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

World War Z - Page 42, line 1 - “Resettlement and quarantine. At that time, I just saw it as a prison.”

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gldnfng · 7 years

Text

Excerpts from Wind-Up Bird

“I am me and / He is him: / Autumn eve. But you dont’ belong to that world, sonny. The world you belong to is above that or below that.

Which is better? I asked, out of simple curiosity. Above or below?

It’s not that either one is better, he said. After a brief coughing fit, he spat a glob of phlegm onto a tissue and studied it closely before crumpling the tissue and throwing it into a wastebasket. It’s not a question of better or worse. The point is, not to resist the flow. You go up when you’re supposed to go up and down when you’re supposed to go down. When you’re supposed to go up, find the highest tower and climb to the top. When you’re supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the bottom. When there’s no flow, stay still. If you resist the flow, everything dries up. If everything dries up, the world is darkness. I am he and / He is me: / Spring nightfall. Abandon the self, and there you are.”