#i dont think anyone on earth is reading these tags anymore but if youre gonna suggest a song please check the playlist first

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

what do you like doing in your free time?

why is your name clenched buttocks (I wanna know the reason, pls its so funny lol)

what are things you're good at? (own it babe) (and i don't mean 'babe' in a weird way - just gotta clear that lol)

do you have a best friend?

do you write OG stories and/or fanfics?

one thing you hate about yourself

one thing you love about yourself

do you want a pet? if so, what pet and why

(pls at this rate, its sounding like an interview, so sorry 😂 i'm just...i have a lot of time in my hands and i decided to do this for no particular reason)

fave type of music?

what made you like bsd? and did you always like it? (cause for me, i didnt like it too much at first but it grew on me the second time around)

have you read the bsd light novels and what's your fave light novel if yes?

any pet peeves?

what's your 'ideal' partner (do you have a type like Kunikida or are you fine with anything as long as you're having fun)

Would you rather be single and rich or taken and with a normal salary?

are you happy with where you work/study?

what's your dream career?

what's the app you use the most?

would you rather draw or write?

*** (P.S just pick the ones you want to answer) **

i think im going to look like a weirdo asking so much questions but whatever. at least we dont know each other HAHA i hope you have a good day. <3 and also i love your analyses. just keep posting what you like. i find some of your posts funny lol

good day.

(# you asked and i delivered) (# just me looking for an excuse to use this line) (# cause you said you wanted more questions in your other post TT) (# also ik this isn't a real tag but i wanna be ✨creative) (# fan behavior? idk anymore lmao) okay bye mwa <3

KHJDKJKSAJDGKJSFKG I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU I WILL BEGIN ANSWERING NOW

i have no free time. I either overwork myself or sleep. however, assuming that i've got a sliver of time to do something, I swap from one obsession to the next <3 rn it's going for insanely long bike rides and turn down every road I feel like until I'm lost,, and going to the gym like an absolute maniac bc i want my arms to be the size of a regular adult's legs

my username is what i desire in life. it is was I strive to be worthy of. it is beauty and life itself, it is the culmination of the universe's most wonderous accomplishments all squished into two raging enormous, gargantuan muscular earth shattering sea trembling ass cheeks 😩😩 (BUT in all seriousness I chose this bc I felt like having tecchousthiccthighs wasn't quite as pleasant??? eheheh buttocks is a funny word)

MY TALENT IS SAYING ANYTHING THAT CROSSES MY MIND TO STRANGERS i've been on this spree lately where I just straight up call anyone pretty when I run into them and HOLY MOLY PPL ARE SO CUTE ABT IT this is your sign to compliment someone today ✨✨ but nah baby i'm good at everything it's a curse ngl (U CAN CALL ME WTV HUN IT'S OK KJKDJFKJS UR SO ADORABLE WHAT)

no best friend bc i can't do commitment and bully friends that get too close to me 😍😍 BUT i'm gonna tag @bellyjellyfish for being my one and only and somehow not hating me thru my unironic "uwu" phase <33

I wrote a 700 page story when I was 12 and it remains unfinished bc I kept rambling and there was no plot 🕴️I love writing but abandon a whole lot of works bc I dream up the rest of the plot and go "oh well why write it now i've been there done that" I DO WRITE FANFICS 👁️👁️ I have a wp account where i wrote a bunch of awful stories and it still stands to this day! (no i will not disclose it don't even try me grr)

I hate how sexy I am 😭😭😭😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I love how sexy I am 😳😳😳😳🥶🥶🥶🥶😜😜😜😜

I WANT A TARANTULA I WANT A TARANTULA I WAS A CHILEAN RED KNEE TARANTULA AND I WANT ONE SO BADLY OMFG I've always liked spiders but the ppl I live with would absolutely kick me out if I got one??? once i live on my own i'm def buying two cages so that whenever I have guests, I just put out the empty cage, hide the real one, and be like "oh no what happened to billy my tarantula, he escaped again :(" just to wreak havoc

(HAHA NO IT'S OK I USUALLY DO THIS TO OTHER PPL SO I APPRECIATE U SM LOL SLIDE INTO MY DMS BBG)

fav type of music is classical bc i'm edgy and not like other girls 🤩🤩🤩 something about la campanella just hit so hard when I was like 10 that I have taken it and ran, but I do listen to rnb a lot, never in just one language tho bc sometimes english sucks my d

I liked bsd as soon as I saw ranpo's silhouette in the first episode, I was like "him. I want him 🏃‍♀️" but it was solidified in my head as soon as I saw natsume bc 1) he's hot AF IT'S NOT FAIR I WANT HIM 2) I had been reading his irl works and fell in love, so I started exploring other bsd authors and it introduced me to gogol (i'm so in love with his writing style it's not ok) soooo yeah :)) I started reading bc someone (you know who you are) liked chuuya and I haven't looked back since, tbh it's one of my favs just bc of the characters and their depth

I've read all the light novels I could get my hands on, and I have to say stormbringer FOR THE ONLY, SOLE REASON THAT I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH ADAM

pet peeve hmmmm idk??? i'm chill with everything except pickles I hate those mfs, but if I had to chose smth it would be when someone shoves a ship down my throat (it's me i'm bitches go stan satosugu rn)

no ideal partner! I'm aro fyi, but also I feel like I'd be chill with just abt anything?? if u match my energy, we can be partners in chaos and i'll feel understood, and if you don't, I get to learn abt a different kind of lifestyle and get to have someone sane to hold me down (or to corrupt), so either way it's a win. I find culture to be incredibly attractive, speak a language I don't or tell me about a tradition of yours with a wholesome smile and I'd move mountains for you 💖💖 teach me abt something that you're emotionally invested in and an expert, and I'm literally yours <3

haha i don't ever wanna be in a relationship so i'll take being rich,, but honestly it ain't about the money, i'd want to have a normal salary and be taken, but it just ain't my vibe ?? dunno how to explain erm-

dream career is racecar driver YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD TO ICONIC DESTINATIONS YOU GET PAID INSANE MONEY AND YOU GO VROOM VROOM VERY FAST WHILE CONSTANTLY ALMOST DYING WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN LIFE????

app i use most is my local library app bc i'm constantly trying to renew my books that are incredibly close to being overdue 🫡 but nahh i don't use my phone that often it still irks me i'm actually a 60 year old gilf who hates technology and complains abt kids these days

I CAN'T DRAW BUT I ALSO CAN'T WRITE YOU'VE GOT ME AT A DEADLOCK BRO??? if it's which I would rather be GOOD at, i'd say drawing bc imagine thinking abt something and just printing it out on paper??? yall fr got some magical talent omg

WHAT IF WE DO KNOW EACH OTHER THO??? WHAT IF WE'RE ACTUALLY NEIGHBORS??? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER KNOW AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL MUAHAHAHAHA i'm gonna stop now but ty for all your questions and have a wonderful day, darling <33

[sodrippy]

thank you @ecthelions for knowing me so well to tag me in this fdhcnhdcxn

your name and then what you would have named yourself: well i have a name and i chose val instead so fhdsjcxn

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): scorp/sag/cap babey idk what that means except im sexy bc im a scorp

when did you join tumblr and why?: oh man uh when was year 9...2010? my mate who i probably had a crush on got one i think

top 5 fandoms: no<3

top 5 favorite films: i cant pick favourites bc i have adhd but some filmes i love are like. train to busan bc its the last movie i watched, into the spiderverse, the godfather pt i (shut UP i already know), spy kids 2 (unironic) and. the green knight when it comes out.

go to song when you wanna Feel something: what am i tryna Feel though. stream lay’s discography. 

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: bro i am jus. just sitting here.

a song that makes you feel seen: i never know what this question means but seriously stream lay’s discog

if you could have any career: i was supposed to have this anyway but genuinely i love film i wanna work on sets bc its just the right kind of brainrot for me<3 or sailor

do you have a type?: probably aye

what does your heart/soul yearn for: my wife, the ocean. also new tattoos

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: sexy, stupid, funny as fuck<3

favorite subjects in school: history and (cringe) legal studies

where does your soul feel most at home: in the sun or on the highway

top 5 fictional characters: jiang cheng, entire concept of the nie sect, i literally cant make my brain switch settings out of mdzs but i want to diversify so the other 3 are from the VOU (my and ellians ocs), lem, kai- WAIT SOKKA and sokka, king

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: sorry im edgy i dont cry but there were some moments in the untamed for sure. i cant remember which ones anymore but there were some. also in train to busan (not a show, i know) when the baseball teen died and the beefy guy sacrificed himself

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: sun babey

favorite kind of weather: BLUE skies, big sunny, 27C, gentle breeze

top 3 characters you kin with: jiang cheng...zuko when i was 10. i dont know. who else exists anymore. 

favorite medium of art: oil paintings and every piece of digital art of my fave characters 

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: idk i love my friends and being alone

a favorite literary quote: like from a book...bro i havent read anything in a year. this definitely doesnt count but i read it in spqr even though thats not where its from but whatever, the tacitus quote thats like ‘they make desolation and call it peace’

some of your favorite books: yall read the messenger by markus zusak? i thought it was good. i really do not read books fjdnxm

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: new york but in a stupid bougie high rise apartment, i dont care what you think about that its sexy. or just a fuckoff nice house right on the beach somewhere in the mediterreanean 

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: ok first off id need to be a cis dude AND be mindwiped about the existence of sanitation but after that any pre british imperialism time for the culture. wait no i want to live like those sicilians in the godfather, just sitting on a chair outside a building in the sun all day until al pacino is like ‘hey man whats up’ and i die or something. fun 

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: drums babey!! oh to be coordinated 😔

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: yeah nah

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll:

these arent super recent but i miss my burple hair 🥺💜

im gonna tag uhhh @weiwuxianisms @lesbianjiangcheng @wuxianphobic @adamsveins and anyone else who wants to do thisss

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[overly-b]

Love Letters to Jade

This has been in the works for a while now, but Jade is back on tumblr so I thought there’s no better time to post this!!

Hi Jade, Bri here. Lex @marvelrose01 and I wanted to do this for you to show you how loved and appreciated you are by your friend on tumblr. We know that you’ve been going through a hard time, and we wanted to prove just how special and fantastic you are. These are for you to have, to read whenever you want, and for you to remember when you’re feeling low.

Thank you to all of those who sent in their letters! You guys truly made this special!

If you are a friend of Jades and wish to add on, please reblog this with your letter and tag it “love letters to jade”

Without further adieu, here are our love letters to Jade

@midnightmagicmusings @midnightmagicmusingsmain I love you!

Dear Jade,

hiii bb!! just wanted to let you know how spectacular you are! you’ve got so much sunshine in you (literally) and it shines so bright everyday! you’re one of the sweetest, strongest people i have ever encountered and i’m so thankful to call you my friend! i love when you send me jj concepts that always make me soft 🥺🥺 and i love your positive energy! i love that you connect me and my acc with palm trees and i hope it stays that way forever!! you’re a QUEEN don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise!! 💗👑

Love Abby @softstarkey

Dear Jade,

You have no idea how much I love an appreciate you. You became friends with me when a lot of people weren’t anymore. I know you don’t really know about that but I had lost a lot of friends before you started talking to me. I was getting pretty sad and I started watching obx. After that, I joined the fandom and you were my first friend. When we got to talking we had so much in common and I was so glad to have met you. You helped me through more than you realize and I’m so happy to call you my friend. You’re by far the sweetest, most kind person I have ever met. You’re like a big sister to me and I’ve never had someone like they before so I’m very gratful. I love and appreciate you so much, remember that.

—

Brie <3

Dear Jade,

You are one of my closest friends on here and I am so happy I bet you!!! I cant believe how easily we fell into a friendship once I dropped into your messages randomly. You were so chill and rolled with it and we just talked about concepts. I loved that night so much and I cant believe I didn’t know you sooner. You are so so sweet to me, a better friend than I deserve. And as you know, I am always here for you, but your always there for me too. Asking about my day and begin interested in what I have to say. You are amazing and I love you to death. Your writing is amazing, and you mean so much to me babes.

Love, Maggie

Dear Jade!!!

you’re one of the bestest people i’ve ever met and i always want to help you and protect you and when i hear you’re having a bad day i go into attack mode because you should never have to have a bad day. you deserve all the good days in the world and i think you deserve more than that even, only the best, because you’re such an amazing friend even if i dont interact with you too much, and thank u for staying my friend cause i know that i dont message or tag you lots but you still are so happy to interact when i do and sometimes you tag me in things and i think thats so amazing and i love iti’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, i dont care what i have to do for you, i’ll do it in a heartbeat with no questions if it means helping you out of a tough situation or protecting you from a meaniehead. you deal with so much everyday and i’m so proud of you for getting up the next day again and again and still continuing to stay positive and post no matter how many mean anons say you shouldn’t, and im proud that i can say you’re my friend and it makes me happy every-time i see an ask from you in my inbox

you’re the best, jade, and you’re dandy and nice and caring!

and in the spirit of the “Jade, you’re cancelled” anon:

Jade, you’re Squid-approved

and i love u🥺💕

-from squiddy”

Dear Jade,

Hello beautiful how are you? I love your work and just some of your post. I know we aren’t close but if you ever need someone to talk to I’m your girl I promise I’m not a middle aged man who got out of a divorce and living in his ex wife’s basement. Now I have t been following you for very long but I have stalked you a few times and you seem amazing just some people are dickheads and don’t know how to be nice but send them my way I’ll hurt em good. I can’t wait for the Swim School series with JJ it’s gonna be great.

Love, Kelsey aka @k-k0129

hi jade!! it’s me amy(kissessforharryyy)

and i just wanted to let you know how important you mean to me and many people on this app. i love you very much!! i’m so happy we became mutals on your main account!! if you ever wanna talk about anything and i mean anything we can!! i love you very much and i hope you have a great day everyday💝💖💗💘💓💞

@verified-dumbass

Jade,

you are the sweetest person I've ever known. I know the times we interact are few, but everytime we talk you manage to uplift my mood simply by being so genuinely nice. The positivity you radiate is immeasurable and I know it sources from your kind soul. Even though the world has shown you hardships and you've gone through so many challenges- more then I can imagine- you never have taken out your emotions through hate and I have such admiration for you for that. You are so beautiful, (both inside and out,) you are so strong, and you are so loved. Never forget how much you mean to the world. ❤

Hey Jade,

so I know the past few months have been hard on you and I just wanted to let you know how loved and appreciated you are. You're one of the best friends a person could ask for and I'm overjoyed that I was one of the lucky persons who had the chance to meet you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the summer and know that our conversations are one of the things I will miss the most at basic. I love you bunches babe 💜@marvelrose01

Dear Jade, 

How insane is it that something as simple as a show can bring two people like us together. Two people who live so far away from each other, and who would have never known each other other wise if it wasn’t for their crazy stupid love for a show and their tumblr blogs. We became friends over a comment about being short, and a second comment about being hard of hearing. I have never been so thankful for a dumb app because that dumb app lead me to you. The friendship and love that you and I have developed in the past two months is truly one and a million and I am consistently amazed by your strength and will. We talk every single day and I wouldn’t change a single thing!! I’ve been with you through some good times and some bad times, and honestly all I can say is that shit gets better, it truly does. Sometimes it has to get worse first, which sucks, but it always always always will get better, and you always have a friend in me. I love you, I appreciate you, I value you and what you have to say, I am thankful for you, and I am lucky to know you and have you be my friend. From Bri+JSquared, to the serious life conversations that we have and the struggles we go through, I wouldn’t give it up for a single thing. I love you to the ends of the earth Jady Baby.

Bri, @overly-b

[yeoldontknow]

15 questions tag game

tagged by @chillingtae to do this fun game. thank you so much bright angel!! <3 i dont think ive ever seen questions like these around here so this is fun <3 

placing this under a cut because it is long !

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

uhm...im an old bean, and ive found that over time ive stopped asking for things necessarily and request more experiences. time spent with people matters more to me than items - i can pretty much buy things on my own if i want them. if im asking for anything id ask for money to put towards bills or savings or trips. this year i asked my parents for some money to convert to yen before i went to japan, which they gave me. of my friends, i asked if we could go for dinner and drinks which was a lovely evening <3 

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

song = Kvrt in Space by Fraunhofer Diffraction

album = 1 Billion Views by EXO-SC

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

depends on my energy level. usually chips and veggies with hummus because i dont have to make anything. my ultimate snack is popcorn so i have to be careful about how often i have it because i could eat an entire trucks worth and not feel the least bit guilty.

4. What is your morning routine?

check emails. text parents. catch up on group chats. roll out of bed and wash up. feed the cat. start the day!

5. What mythical/cryptic creature would you be?

god probably some bog witch or oracle on a mountain

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

i dont. if they are interacting with me i will be polite but the conversation will be curt and brief. 

7. How do you define a toxic person?

=> habits of  dishonesty, manipulation, gaslighting, deflection of blame for wrong doings  => reacting to criticism or conflict rather than responding => engaging or meddling or perpetuating drama simply for the attention, thrill/endorphins of it => someone who drains your energy in their company rather than heals it => inability to admit they were wrong or let situations go

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

ive been to a significant amount of concerts in my life. i love love love concert going and, before quarantine, i would list this activity as one of my favorite hobbies. while not a fan meet event, ive wound up meeting and becoming acquainted with a number of musicians - either by running into them on the street, working with them in some capacity, waiting in the queue before doors, waiting after a show, etc. i once was able to attend an after party of a show with @queenoftheimpala because i knew what a tubulum was after a band member jokingly posted about it on twitter and we started talking. one of my all time favourite bands provides ticket packages which are both a ticket to the show and an earlier event in which there are panels with therapists discussing the importance of mental health etc etc. 

regarding kpop, i have not attended a fanmeet and tbh i dont think i would. the set up feels unnatural, and it is not that i want to spend hours talking with an artist but it feels very rushed and not entirely personal enough for me to express what id truly want to say. this is just my opinion. i know many fans have attended these events and have had a wonderful time. i just dont think this would suit my energy as im quite introverted and feeling rushed would make me anxious.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

oh for sure i do. when you research charts, planets, alignments, etc etc it can be quite revealing when it comes to personality traits, needs, expectations. while i dont believe it accounts for every single thing about a person (upbringing and societal/cultural influence matter too) it can account for the fundamentals. astrology, tarot, and light work have seen me through some extremely difficult situations in my life and reading tarot/charts has helped me understand why i feel what i feel on certain days.

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

i rely so heavily on all my senses that i just...dont even know how to pick this. i think id go with touch. taste is a sense omg you mean i cant taste food anymore? oh god. ok uh yeah im still gonna go with touch. touch helps you feel the connection with other people - hugs, hand holding. sounds have waves which you can feel on the body. the earth has texture. touch is how the body relates spatially to other and to itself so yeah i would go with touch.

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

non kpop = prince, david bowie, chris corner, maynard james keenan....mostly its women. rihanna or sabrina claudio or rosalia. women in the root of their power and sensuality. they are unforgiving in their bodied expressions and i respect them so much. they are unforgiving in their femininity. 

kpop = chanyeol lmao like....unfailingly so

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

for the non kpop celebrities = im usually just really supportive of women in the entertainment/arts industries so id love to just hear their stories. in this instance i dont think me saying anything is beneficial, more that its important we listen to their journies and their path to success. they have a lot to teach us. chris corner ive met several times and have had many amazing conversations with so in this instance, id just ask if hes doing well, how california is, how his dogs are, give him the update on my tattoo plans etc. for maynard...idk just cry because hes the celebrity ive loved since i was like 4 years old.

kpop = if i had the chance to talk to chanyeol i think like...id just like to talk about his music, thank him for having women as his video editors/videographers, ask his genre tastes, talk about the sheer amount of retro/nostalgia modes on the recent sc album. maybe talk about astronomy. thank him for his power and remind him to eat and that he doesnt need to master everything. achieving perfection is a pursuit of pain, all he has to achieve is happiness within himself. again, remind him to eat.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

oooo lets go to an arcade and for dinner. theres some really great barcades in lower manhattan and on LES we can get some amazing dumplings for really cheap and just have a night of talking, playing games, drinking. then maybe walk along the river before we catch the trains home

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

my sweet tooth has a limit so while i do like sweet im more into savory

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

i have a lot of band tees, signed posters, albums of theirs theyve signed for me. i have some drum sticks given to me by a few bands, signed set lists. one band gave me a turntable slip cover. i have a few first press or numbered records that ive framed. i have some lightsticks from when i attended some kpop shows. ive got lots of stuff!

tagging: @yehet-me-up @queenoftheimpala @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @yoonia @jamaisjoons @ditzymax @jiminiethot @blackberrykai @hkynm @ninibears-erigom @readyplayerhobi @imdifferentshadesofpurple @red-exo and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if youre comfortable <3 

[hollyhomburg]

HOW DO YOU SLEEP? (KTH X Reader)

Tags: Friends with benefits to lovers au, bad behavior, Taehyung is kind of a dick, mentions of the reader being unattractive, insecurity, sex/ hook ups mentioned. 

W/C: 1.5k

Taehyung has a one night stand with a girl, and it’s the best night of his life- literally makes him almost pass out from how good good it is, but the girl...definitely doesn't fit the normal standards of beauty. 

You’re aware of this, you know that you’re not idol attractive, but Taehyung never makes you feel bad about it or insecure. at least not when you’re having sex.

Though in the industry would call you ugly and anyone else would just call you average. taehyung can’t get enough of you especially once you start hanging out as regularly as he can after you blow his mind (sometimes literally). 

and it’s not just the sex sometimes, its the way you play with his hands after he’s done, the way that you sit with him in his studio, the way he genuinely has fun with you feeling lighter than he does like- ever, when you occasionally do something that's not sex- and meet up more frequently with explicitly non-sexual things planned.

And Taehyung is like an inch away from saying he’s in love with you. But here’s the thing, you haven't met the boys yet. And Taehyung is a little bit worried about the judgement from the rest of his group and the media. i mean it's just a natural thing to be worried about right, natural to be afraid of the judgement of who he’s with? 

He’s used to ushering you out in the early hours of the morning which definitely isn’t a kind thing to do-he knows that. Hates himself every single fucking time he does it and makes sure to text you back after. taehyung has lost track of how many times he’s said he’s sorry. 

He makes up for it in better ways, like treating you to fancy dinners in delicious restaurants that it usually takes years to get reservations in, and more than a few designer handbags in exchange for his less than okay behavior. 

Taehyung is a little too good at apologizing, and you’re a little too- maybe not in love with him yet, but sometimes when you have a spare morning, when you can linger and brush his bangs back from his forehead- you think one day you could be. 

most of the time- you and taehyung have so much fun together, you’re always giggling and laughing and being ridiculous even in the middle of sex or a convenience store after he’d forgotten to buy condoms and made a stupid joke about blowing them up into balloons. 

on the bad days when he can’t sleep- you’re the one he calls, sometimes you don’t even have sex, sometimes you just go on long walks with taehyung holding onto your hand like its the only thing keeping him tethered to earth. 

He’s about to introduce you to the guys, to ask you to come out with them to a family dinner. but he happens to but dial you at the worst time when he’s talking to the others about you- just jimin- his best friend for ages. confessing all of his fears, how much he thinks he loves you how happy you make him. 

but you don’t hear any of the good parts only the bad, listening in with taehyung unaware, “she’s obviously not the best looking, but man, you have no idea, sometimes at night it’s like i dont even want to sleep because it’s so good. obviously i’d already be dating her if she where a little prettier, and i know it’s going that way anyway- but i’m just unsure about the judgement minnie,” 

“Can you show me a picture- oh tae” his sympathetic voice, and then taehyung's “oh shit for some reason i accidentally called her” where he listens, says your name a few times on the other side of the phone before he registers that there must be something wrong with the phone and hangs up himself.  

That night when Tae inevitably booty calls you, you’re very careful to make it the best night ever for him. bringing out all the stops, giving more than you get. But also to detach yourself from the situation, this- this isn’t about love or wanting, with every roll of your hips, with every inch that taehyung falls apart- it feels more about getting even. About proving something to him. 

When you’re done, you get up right after, you don’t linger in his arms even though they look so so inviting. You know the strength they hide and how safe you can feel in them but you don’t want it anymore. Taehyung’s so hazy and fucked out that he only really realizes you're not coming back to bed when he watches you stumble back into your high heels. “aren’t you gonna stay and cuddle?” 

 “Nope, see you around taehyung,” he pouts, a little upset, his arms feel vacant without you in them but yeah- he understands why you wouldn't want to say when he has to leave so early in the morning for practice. you’d barely be able to sleep before he had to wake you up and sneak you out. 

He lies awake in bed, thinking about how you only ever really call him tae and not by his full name, not since you’d met almost a year ago. and he suspects something might be wrong, but goes to sleep he has a full schedule tomorrow after all. maybe he can take you out for coffee tomorrow or something, or maybe dinner the next day. 

On the way home in your car, you have to pull over and stop because of how you're crying- because really- fuck kim taehyung for making you feel insecure, for making you feel like you where only worth sex. you’re 100% certain that you never want to see his face again. 

he knows something must be up when you start dodging his calls, when he gets left on read night after night, but Tae can’t stop trying, can’t stop double and triple texting.

 I need you so bad baby maybe he really was addicted 

Are you just going to leave it like this? at least tell me if we’re through so i know if i should be hopeful or crushed. 

and then the inevitable begging, won't you just talk to me? please tell me what i did wrong so i can make it better

but you dont respond, not for the first month, you’d intended that night to be the last, and you know that you’ll just fall back into him like all the other planets and girls in his orbit if you see him again. (You don’t know that taehyung was just seeing you, only hooking up with you through the entirety of your relationship- if you could even call it a relationship.) 

then you accidentally run into each other and he accuses you of ghosting him, kind of a little sad and a little petty. And you blow up about how he never treated you right and there are cameras and videos of you screaming at each other in lotte mart from a bystanders and it goes to the media and viral almost instantly. 

And suddenly your social media accounts are blowing up with people wondering who you are and criticizing your appearance, which is exactly what taehyung didn’t want to happen. 

Call him shallow about being honest about your looks but he knew what the media was like. how it could pick apart even the best looking and most genuine people out there and he didn’t want that to happen to you.

Taehyung goes on vlive to confront it, and manages to talk through it all without specifying anything, without addressing you. 

“Would you guys believe me if I told you that I’ve grown over the past year? in the last year, I've realized that love isn’t just about late nights or looks, but it’s about intimacy and another person's soul matching yours. I strongly believe in soulmates and I think i've met mine.  

“I think maybe in the past, i've acted in a bad way because of my predispositions and by what i was taught was important. looks- looks aren’t important in a relationship, and i know that now, what’s really important is who a person is, and how well their soul matches yours. i want to teach you guys this. Maybe you won’t make the same mistakes as I did, and you’ll fix how you think before it’s too late.” 

You watch the vlive- of course you do, you need to know what he’s saying to his fans, and you’re surprised as the broadcast ends. And suddenly, you're reconsidering it all, reconsidering taehyung, even as your phone next to you dings, with a text from taehyung. 

I know it’s too late for us, but i believe that if you love someone then you owe it to them to say it and tell them... so this is me telling you i love you okay? you understand that it’s him telling you that. you fiddle with your phone for a minute. After a second you send something back to him, and shoving your phone away from you on your bed hoping you don’t regret this. 

Where are you right now? we need to talk. 

[avornalino-old]

Tag Game!!

i was tagged by @delta-simmer thank you sm!!!

1. Cats or Dogs? cats. 100%. although now that i say that i guess im a little of both

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities? youtube celebrities? i think?? some of them are a little more down to earth but that depends who youre talking about

3. If you could live anywhere, where would that be? any big city. new york city, chicago, los angeles, etc. i just like knowing that nobody would judge me there and yeahh...

4. Disney or DreamWorks? disney but dreamworks has some pretty great movies (shrek)

5. Favorite childhood TV shows? dora the explorer, wonder pets, handy manny, little einsteins, fairly odd parents (but then my parents banned us from watching it)

6. The movie you’re looking forward to in 2020? west side story?? idk i dont really watch movies that much anymore. also apparently legally blonde 3? that could be pretty cool

7. Favorite book you read in 2019? i read the three musketeers (the old one) didnt like it that much but now i can brag that i read it lol

8. Marvel or DC? i dont watch superhero movies but from what ive seen, dc portrays women better so i meeeean...

9. Favorite member of X-Men? Favorite Member of Justice League? idk dude

10. Night or Day? im such a night person. thats why i get all my hw done at like 10 every night

11. Favorite Pokémon? i uhh dont really know that much about pokemon sorry

12. Top 5 bands? im gonna do musicals instead bc i dont listen to regular music: natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812, in the heights, heathers, hamilton, and bring it on!! all v good and i love them sm

13. Top 10 Books? harry potter series, three dark crowns, caraval, onyx and ivory, fangirl, rebel of the sands, flawed, song of achilles, the edge of everything, hold still (please read this one i cried like 27 times and i never cry)

14. Top 4 Movies? miracle on 32nd street, mean girls, coraline, any disney movie

15. America or Europe? europe i guess. at least theres history there

16. Tumblr or Twitter? im not super active on twitter, but from what ive seen, people are more open about their opinions on there so tumblr i guess

17. Pro Choice or Pro Life? not gonna say much but pro choice

18. Favorite Youtuber? the random ones the youtube algorithm spits out

19. Favorite Author? rainbow rowell 

20. Coffee or Tea? grande iced chai tea latte (otherwise known as what i always get from starbucks)

21. OTP? dont have one rn

22. Do you play an instrument/sing? If so what do you play? ive been singing for yeeears. not sure how good i am tho...

anyway i tag @ literally anyone who wants to do this. tagging is scary. just pretend i tagged you

[azaraspirit]

Just a Guy Named Tom l T.H. x reader fic preview

its probably a little soon to share this since i just finished writing this but i am SO EXCITED about this fic that i couldnt wait and had to share a preview of it to get you guys as excited as me. 

summery: Tom was an ordinary guy and had an ordinary life. That is until his best friend Harrison started working for a Crime Lord in London. Tom tried to talk him out of it but it didn’t work and so he stole from Haz’s boss which was a deadly decision. Tom has been running ever since till the reader comes long and finally starts living, in danger or not. 

tagging some folks: @lovelyspidey @spiderboytotherescue @i-couldnt-leave-my-best-girl @fanboy-tom @underoos-tom

Warnings: language, death threats. 

Notes: its not gonna be pretty and a shit ton of angst with a dash of fluff and smut. so a little bit of everything HAH. enjoy. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! 

PREVIEW. (part of chapter one).

*

Sometimes you meet just the right person at the right moment. You have been cheated on by your bf with your enemy who bullied you from middle and high school. He could have cheated normally with some random chick or even a friend but no. He chose your bully that made you feel a hundred time worse. Which is why you found yourself crying into your margarita at a bar.

“You alright miss?” a soft but unfamiliar voice spoke.

You managed to look over to see who it was. A handsome young man sat a seat away from you at the bar, looking rather concerned.

“Just peachy.” you murmured, taking a sip of your drink.

“I don’t mean to be rude. Just an odd sight seeing a woman crying in a bar in the middle of the afternoon.

You scoffed. “Trust me. I didn’t plan this. Just that…” You faltered. What did it matter? Why should you bother a complete-attractive-but handsome stranger-with your problems?

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. Besides we don’t even know each other.”

You sighed, staring into your drink. Yeah he was a stranger but there was something inviting about him. Maybe it was tousled brown hair or British accent. You had no idea but still you had a lot on your mind.

“My boyfriend cheated on me.” you confessed.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. Guy must have been a real dick-and not the good kind.”

You laughed. Actually laughed.

“Yeah he was. Too bad I didn’t see it sooner.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking?”

A sigh flowed passed your lips. “I told him all about my enemy from high school and middle school. Guess he found her attractive and slept with her. A lot.”

The handsome British man scoffed. “Wait hold up. The guy cheated on you. With your bully?”

“Yup.” The word smacked off your lips.

“Where is he? I need to beat the crap out of him.”

You chuckled. This guy was something else. “He’s not worth your time. I just pray that they both get an STD.”

This time the guy laughed and wow what a beautiful sound it was to hear. He laughed hard enough to where he dipped his head back and hold his stomach.

“Amen to that.” he grinned.

A moment of silence fell between you and the British boy. He smiled ever so softly st you, making your heart flutter and lift you off the ground like a cartoon character.

“Wanna get out of here?” he asked.

You smiled, big and wide. “After you tell me your name.”

“Tom. Just a guy a named Tom.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“That’s a pretty name if I do say so myself.” Tom paid the bartender, including your drink and a tip who was more than grateful-he even gave Tom a hand shake. “No problem mate.” Tom replied, smiling.

“Where you wanna go?” he asked as you both leave the bar.

You were silently debating whether or not to have a post break up make out sesh or keep it platonic. His voice alone turned you on. Normally this wasn’t your way of meeting but you felt like you needed to treat yourself after the break up whether it was sexual or strictly emotional support.

“Sounds crazy because we just met but I could use a vacation.” you decided.

Tom faced you so he was walking backwards, smiling. “I could be a killer ya know?”

You laughed. “I don’t think you are.”

“Oh, really?”

You nodded. “You have a good heart, Tom. I can tell. You already brought me out of the foggy state I was in when you first asked if I was okay. And I was certain when you first made me laugh.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Alright Y/N. Any ideas?”

“You have a British accent, correct?”

He smirked. “Yeah?”

“Why don’t we go to London?”

“You sure about that, darlin’?” he teased with a wink. You swore your heart skipped a beat just then. Was it possible to fall for someone this quickly?

“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

Okay this was crazy. Absolutely crazy. But you had no one or anything to keep you here and believe it or not Tom was what you needed.

A smile never left your face as you and Tom sat next to each other on the plane. You were above the clouds on the way to London with a man you just met. But what is life without adventure?

You caught Tom admiring you, making you both blush and giggle. He hesitated before gently taking your hand making your skin tingle. You wrapped your fingers around his.

“This is crazy.” he murmured, stroking your hand with his thumb.

“No it’s an adventure.”

He chuckled. “A crazy adventure.”

“Touche.”

You didn’t even know his last name but you trusted Tom with your life. You never felt this way about anyone not even your ex. It was like as if fate drawn you together. You would go to ends of the earth for him. “Get some rest, love.” he whispered. “We still have a long way to go.”

As if he was on cue, your eyelids feel heavy. You adjusted to be more comfortable, resting your head on his shoulder.

Tom waited till he was sure you were asleep. You snored lightly making him smile. You were a mere stranger but you already felt like home. It probably wasn’t a good idea to get so attached but it was too late. He wasn’t going to leave you now. If it goes as bad as he think he will, he was ready to go down fighting in order to protect you. It may have been a bad idea to steal from a crime lord and an even worse to go back home but it felt right. London was home, in danger or not.

Tom’s phone dinged with a text. It read:

H: YOU’RE DEAD.

Tom smirked and texted back:

Why so hostile? London is big enough for the both of us.

H: YOU KNOW WHY.

Tom laughed to himself

T: what happened bro we used to be friends.

H: you screwed me so I screw you. what’s the saying? Karma’s a bitch.

T: you need let go. holding a grudge is bad for your health.

H: dont be a smartass. Im gonna kill you one way or another.

T: good luck.

H: friends dont steal from their boss. Prepare to taste bullets.

T: its a date.

H: fuck you.

The texts stopped. He was tired of Harrison’s bullshit. So what if he stole from his boss who happened to be a crime lord? Doesn’t mean he has to be so dramatic. Tom looked down at you, still asleep. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I won’t let him hurt you, I promise.” Tom and Haz used to be friends but not anymore. Sure Tom should be scared and hiding but he knew he would be found eventually so why not enjoy the time he had before it ended in blood? He wasn’t gonna let Haz ruin his life.

.

[rqs902]

bias explanation tag

ok so @banana-jiayou tagged me to do this about one month ago and me being the forgetful person that i am, am just getting around to it now!!!

nini actually tagged me to talk about either my banana or my mr-x bias, but because i still consider myself as “developing” my bias order in mr-x (altho anyone can probably tell im leaning towards luo zheng) i’ll go with banana kids!! 

you may know already, my banana bias is Lu Dinghao 🌞🌞

(i dug deep into my #ludinghao tag to try to piece together what i can remember of what happened hahahha)

the rest will go under the cut bc i think this is gonna get kinda long....

Idol Producer Era

you may have seen me rant about this in my tags before, but I really did not plan on watching Idol Producer... at all. I watched p101s2 and it wasn’t the greatest experience for me (kenta and youngmin were my favs ;;;) and so I wasn’t too keen on starting another extremely similar show, because I had little hopes that the kids I’d like would make it to the end, so I thought the show would just end in disappointment for me again.  

but! *drumroll please* cue chen linong! (i promise, im getting to dinghao, itll all make sense eventually LOL)

so I forget why, but maybe when I was just on the internet, I heard a LOT about chen linong. (even my friends who don’t watch ip who are just normal taiwanese kids HAVE HEARD OF chen linong. he’s honestly THAT popular in taiwan that regular people who dont care about ip know his name - its crazy!) so i heard he was taiwanese and I heard he was super popular and tons of people loved him. so what did i do? I went and looked up his audition video bc i was like wtf why is this kid so popular?? whats so special about him??

so one audition video, one intro video, one upward!trainee video, and a couple of douyins later, i was officially committed to watching idol producer for chen linong. 

the next step, what do I do? go to wikipedia (LOL) and search up what other taiwanese boys are on the show. i immediately notice 3 of them are from banana ent and banana ent actually also has a malaysian child. (which was super interesting to me too bc i have a lot of friends who are southeast asian and southeast asian representation is super cool!!) and so i watched all of the 5 other taiwanese kids’ intro videos and upward!trainee videos. I’ll be honest, at the time none of them stood out to me as strongly as linong (I just love love love smiley guys, and linong’s personality was so strongly taiwanese and so down-to-earth in his audition video, i just couldn’t resist!) but from there, bc 3 of the 6 taiwanese kids were in banana, I knew to look out for the banana kids. 

fast forward to episode 2, I watch the banana audition perf and dinghao sort of stands out to me because i usually go for the “happy/ mood-maker” member in kpop groups, so when he introduced himself as “小太陽陸定昊” i was like oo who’s this? also im soft for boys with the curved lip smile thing heheh and so in my curiosity to find out who he is, i look him up and find his instagram! (i didnt have weibo yet) and I start seeing pictures like these and I’m like oh my goodness he’s beautiful :o 

but i think julie (@qinfour) was one of the first people i talked to about this, but one of the reasons why i usually like “happy/ mood-maker” members is because I feel like I can relate to them (ie: dinghao) bc I feel similar to them. In high school i was seen as the crazy hyper happy one and people actually thought that i was constantly happy.... all the time... which is impossible. so it was hard for me at times bc when i wasn’t feeling happy, people would discredit my feelings, or as soon as I stopped smiling, people would be like omg whats wrong with you?? so to me, seeing idols who are like that, having a happy, fun exterior but are actually insecure / experiences hardships inside, makes me feel like i can relate to them. 

so anyway, so after ep 2 im already like kinda interested in dinghao (but also still interested in linong and the other banana trainees, but he’s on my radar) and so ep 3 rolls around and this HISTORIC xinfan ep from Feb. 2nd comes with it: 

(in the original video, the banana part starts around 8:36) and from watching this and dyING of laughter at zhangjing being adorable and sassy and dinghao being HILARIOUS, i was like ok i like them, they’re my fav banana children!! (even tho neither of them are taiwanese and i only became interested in banana in the first place bc they had taiwanese people LOOL) and you may be wondering, what about yanjun?? he was really funny in that video too?? but actually yanjun didn’t stand out to me until around “ai ni” bc he was in the same group as dinghao maybe bc i just didnt get his humor as much??? HAHAHHAHA like zhangjing and dinghao were like SO FUNNY to me but yanjun i was likeee okayyy (i love him and his humor so much now, but idk i just didnt get it back then?? LOL oops sorry yanjun) but yea, it wasn’t until “ai ni” that i started noticing him and then gradually it snowballed into i was MADLY VOTING FOR YANJUN by the the final ep and SUPER EMOTIONAL when he made it into the final 9, like my body was shakinggg, i was so happy !!! (i was MUCH happier with the result than i was with p101s2!) 

but anyway, back to the point, I think around this time was when i found out about the “rock the show” mv (it was actually released beforehand, on 1/29 and the dance version 2/6??), and I think i freaked out to violet (@zhu-xingjie) like !!!! wtf is this ?!?? its so good omgomg (something along those lines, at least ;;;) and then after watching the mv i was like ok im def gonna be a banana stan wow they make good music, so talent, super funny members, much visual wow

(tumblr only lets me embed youtube videos, but you can find the official video in HD!! here and the dance version here. id highly recommend watching both if you havent already!!!!!!! the dance version has more closeups???? and i felt even more attacked than i thought was possible after watching the official video???)

and so basically from there, I became a banana stan, focusing on lu dinghao and you zhangjing. and ofc i love zhangjing to bits and he’s so warm-hearted and adorable, but I think I’ll always feel the most connected to dinghao, which is why he became my bias.

some other moments that led me to love him:

his mini chinese lesson because i also struggle with “zhei” but also since then, ive discussed with nini on multiple occasions how weird dinghao’s chinese is?? hahahahahha its like hard to understand sometimes??

4/9 banana boys discussing getting rid of fans at the airport !!!! this is actually one of my favorite videos because LU DINGHAO IS HILARIOUS!!! SO EXTRA WOW

the entire banter with yanjun during the “ai ni” era bc he finally got more screen time!! and also he showed how good of a friend he was to keep voting for yanjun until he just really couldnt anymore

nursery coloring class with chaoze bc dinghao is ridiculous?? 

during the hot pot ep, just watch for any clips of dinghao and he’s probs doing something ridiculous

the banana family scene from the “boom boom boom” era where dinghao shows his insecurity, bc it was a moment where i felt i could really connect to him, as a flawed and normal human who isn’t happy all the time

fun fact: I think this banana boys post was one of the first i ever translated, probs bc beibei was leaving and im soft for that boy too and bonus you can see in my tags that im already dinghao trash at that point bc i freaking had 芝麻糊 for the first time (and bought it with my own money!!) bc of freaking Lu Dinghao !!! (about two weeks later, i bought a whole pack of it at the grocery store....) 

but anyway, so “that’s how the story goes” (gotta include a zzt reference heheh) of how dinghao became my bias... i tried to keep it as relevant to dinghao as i could? lol and i also could be remembering things wrong LOL but basically post-ip, all that’s changed is that i’ve realized dinghao is even weirder than i first realized HAHAH BUT I STILL LOVE HIM. 

some additional fun moments: 

this interview where he describes roasts all the other banana trainees

watch “sawadika banana” if you havent already and you’ll get some GOLD dinghao moments like this crazy mess and other hilarious shenanigans

idk if its been subbed yet, but this bazaar interview is one of my fav dinghao / yanjun / zhangjing videos bc theyre so funny!!! i was literally laughing the whole time, its so fun to watch c: 

im not gonna tag anyone else to do this, because it does take quite a while (3 hrs for me LOL) but its fun if you have the time to reflect back and if anyone wants to do it, id love to read your story as well!! 

[friednose]

missing you comes in waves of memory stupid memory of things I can’t do with anyone else that nobody would understand stupid memorys of dumb roleplays that i loved stupid memroys of your voice get out of my fucking head why dont you just leave stop clogging my memory it just hurts its memorys from when it was good i want it to be good i want you to love me i just want your love your special love i dont want to give my love to anyone else i dont want you to love again yet i fall into another relationship with an ex I’m not happy I haven’t been happy in months I havent brushed my teeth sense you last told me too all my cuts are infected and I dont know what to do i dont have my little nurse girl anymore I think im around 95 pounds it hurts im in constant pain someone take me off this earth i shouldnt have left you despite you not loving me in the slightest because it felt better pretending you did  i love you I love you I love you I love you  love everything you hate about yourself its terrifying you know everything about me and you can do anything with that now you have no reason not too i think the only way to be friends is if you never even loved eachother in the first place maybe im wrrong idk i regret not touching you or hugging you i regret being dumb i love you idk how many times ive said that but it never loses meaning i have a bad memory you know this you know its weird you know i remember things at weird times when did it stop when did you stop loving me why i couldnt i fix it i shouldve fixed i shouldnt say this but i will i think id give up all my friends for you even Seth your not reading this and if you are you dont care I want answers to my questions I dont even know what i can do to fix this now im broken now you fixed me slow and broke me in a matter of around 3 months i have gotten next to no sleep i am always tired im failing almost all the classes imactually out during and its painful to eat everything hurts everything good reminds me of you so i start to throw up not even on purpose nobody cares about thispost though idont anyones reading it and I doubt theyll do or say anything if they do i dont really want anyone elses love despite everyone telling me thres so much other people in the world who could love me i dont care i want you i dont care i need you im working off all the foodd i eat during practie hoping to die of malnutrismatian eventually and nobody cares thats the fucking worst because i cant take care of myself i dont know how and i dont want i would pay someone to kill me rn because i dont have the motivation to do it myself i love you idk how many times ive said this ik i said that already your the best and worse thing that ever happened to me i deoned in you to ive and that wouldve been fine if you planned on staying i feel my bones i black out for two seconds when i stand up im always dizzy and tired at practice youree beautiful you know your brown eyes are beautiful i torture myself thinking about you every fucking day until i pass out at 5 and get up at 6:30 i need your voice i need a voice telling me it’ll be okay even if theyre lying i need you to promise me you wont leave me again i need you to actually stick to that promise i need to hear i love you too even if youre fucking bullshitting everything id rather live a lie then this if youve made it this far thanks what the fuck are you going to do now im not gonna kms so dont go telling tumblr staff idk live your life this post wont ever change anything and if this person i targeted this to is reading this then great what now babe @sinningdragonfromspace yep im tagging you calling you out i guess because i doubt you even go on tumblr anymore

[theday]

i forgot to copy andpste the rules fuckjdjh anwyay taged by @younghyuuns and @pupcats :D thank u guys for tagging me i havent done this in ages

tagging: @minhyukwithagun (just saw ur new icon ffuck) @briwoon and @tokayhk u guys dont have to tho ily all oh also @hyunghoney and @hyungkyunnie and @minhyukt suddenly im tagging everyone u guys dont have to do it either ily toohdjh

last:

drink: water hddhh im so happie to hear everyones answer is water too stay fresh

phone call: ................ oh my mum i was gonna say i dont call ppl but she called the house phone yesterday

text message: ‘what’ jhddsjhjhsh

song you listened to: beside you by 5so/s im wheesinghs falen kdhs

time you cried: really cried??? january on a thursday aka last month i broke down in school djhhsjh schools the place i cry the most i couldnt go through one month without breaking downdjhdhs every year i have 2 cry there at least once apparently jesushdjs

have you ever:

dated someone twice: i havent even dated anyone once

been cheated on: see above

kissed someone and regretted it: see above

lost someone special: immmdmfmmdkks i guess not? in terms of friends they were special but not anymore so i guess that doesnt count

been depressed: nope

been drunk and thrown up: in this house we only drink water

in the past year have you:

made a new friend: heck yeah? i made so many good pals after revamping this blog im so happie :( 

fallen out of love: no lol i stopped having this crush on this person at the end of 2016 best decision of my life

laughed until you cried: one too many times but i cant remember any ;-/ 

met someone who changed you: falen?? but everyone has an effect on mehjd 

found out who your true friends are: well . yeah

found out someone was talking about you: idk i dont rememberjhdhjhs i dont care enough

general:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: only karissa and she doenst even use tumblr much ;-/ 

do you have any pets?: i wish i did D: but not now.. jsjd maybe when im out of this country/place

do you want to change your name?: ifjkksj not rly..??????? i just hated it for a while when i was younger bc i didnt like the nicknames that came with my namejhddh

what time did you wake up this morning: 11am fuck my life

what were you doing last night: giffing :D and then i gave up bc it started messing up so i went to bed

name something you cannot wait for: school to start bc im excited since its a whole new jhhdhsh thng? but im also terrified im learning physics theres a reason why i took biology instead man my course is called biotechnology nothhjjhhjjhsjhhf physics dont interact 

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: the only tom i know is tom from tom and jerry

what’s getting on your nerves right now: the gifs 

blood type: a emoji

nickname: when ging said her answer i lost my mind how many of you arent using ur real names tf... does ging stand for ginger also this question is about me hold onfjdhhhjshd uh egg and meggan i guess? nutfucker toojhdjhhjdh bc that was my ig name so irl ppl would call me that and embarrass me thanks or just nut because of that username too

relationship status: never dated thank god

zodiac sign: capricorn sun and taurus moon im the .optimum dirt call me soil hdjsh also i showed ayesha my chart and she lost her mind saying the reason why i say oh worm so much is bc im like 50% earth i couldnt stop laughing tumblr install a filter search function in chats i need to dig that up 

pronouns: she/her

favorite show: haikyuu i aint gonna stop loving u bitch

college: idk what this means either im not gonna tell yall my school im gonna be doing biotechnology tho trust me i dont know what the fuck that course is about im a fool all i know is that it has to do with cells [changkyun voice] well its cells

hair color: black but i like to think its brown

do you have a crush on someone: crushes and the whole. love game is cursed 

what do you like about yourself: i learn... from my mistakes i guess idk also im generally friendly .         ...

firsts:

first surgery: none

first piercing: none im a [redacted] 

first sport you joined: fucking. golf or swimming or tennis i used to be all about sports now i just. walk 

first vacation: probably malaysia

first pair of sneakers: converse which i used to deem as clown shoes ... now all i wear are converse dkhhdshj

right now:

eating: amylase 

drinking: nothing i need to drink water im thirsty hold on stay hydrated if ur reading this drink some water

i’m about to: pee i need to go, 

listening to: spotify ad time hates me. ill go back to this later oh wait this isnt a spotify ad anymore scavenger by finish ticket who r they? idk either my friend recommends me songs and theyre good but by bands ive never heard of

want kids: no iwnt animals

get married: marriage ? sounds phake

career: ive been saying this since 2016 but farmer

which is better:

lips or eyes: i hate myself i read lips and thought of l** m*nhyuk ;-/ singularity’s impact! and nojhhsjjhdh idk? fucking both i guess ??????? i dont look at peoples faces often

hugs or kisses: depends on the kiss but i love huggingjdhjhd i dont think. id be able to hug certain people tho? which is weird im fine with likejhdhjsjh hugging this person (usually happens when we’re watching movies bc djdkjjs im a [redacted] again so i have to hide my eyes) but i cant imagine myself.. hugging my other friendshjhdh??? idk itd be awkward ig 

shorter or taller: taller ! love me that height if ur below 165 cm dont talk to me

older or younger: older ???? or my age idk 

romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous im always like this with my friendsjhfhjhdh me: hey lets walk there instead my friends: ready tof ucking kill me

sensitive or loud: a ? a mediudndjs like... an in between 

hookup or relationship: preferably nothing but relationship of coursehjhd

troublemaker or hesitant: an inbetween jjdshjshd?? idk shit lads

have you ever:

kissed a stranger: nope

drank hard liquor: drank sparkling water once it counts 

lost contacts/glasses: no im so blind they always have to be on my fucking face 

sex on first date: sex never . 

broken someone’s heart: yeah but when i was kid so it probably didnt mean much 

been arrested: iddjsh i was gonna joke but i cant think of anything so no

turned someone down: jhdhhdjs yeah but mostly like hangouts?? hdjhd not like dates and shit 

fallen for a friend: let me think the first girl i liked wasnt a friend but when we became friends i was like o womrie nvm but she did help me realize im Not straight as did tumblr which even tho i constantly insult it helped me a lot fjdhjhs but my two crushes after were on my friends ;-/ my first crush unfortunately on a guyddhhs wasnt my friend either tho damn now u guys know my whole backstory :D

do you believe:

in yourself: sometimes bitch has 2 get those grades man

miracles: yes you (love live) please come home........ ... .... 

love at first sight: dam. was gonna talk abt anime again but hjhdhshj no ? i guess not maybe like wow ur attractive at first sight but thats it

if u read until the end thank u ur the realest have a good day!!!!!

[tex-studmister]

11 Questions

Two people actually tagged me in this but I’m doing @gentle-outlaw‘s here so its not a ridiculously long post. they’re both gonna have the same 11 questions but all the tagged people will be here sorry gfsjk

Gentle-Outlaw’s Questions:

1. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the 3rd line on that page?

-...”the sun in? We must look into it!” - Gandalf from The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.

2. What is your happiest memory and why?

- i have many happy memories to choose from so i have no idea! i guess when we got marley would be an extremely happy memory, and when i got accepted to the university i wanted are both contenders

3. Do you have any OC’s (for fanfiction or totally original)? If so, describe them or if you have more than one, describe your favorite one!

- i have so many ocs its actually not funny anymore sklgdj i have maybe? 70? Anyway Alex Mercado and Tei Owka-Romero both contend for my favorite but Alex is the one I create more scenarios for so uhh here we go

Alex is 22 and lived in Alabama for a while before he and his mom moved to Ohio to escape Bad Situations. His mom and dad were both from Puerto Rico before they moved to America. He has medium length curly dark brown hair that he keeps in a small ponytail, umber eyes, and relatively short.

Timeskip forward he was lucky enough to have the money and the time to go to a con and met someone who was the counterpart to his cosplay, and they became friends. Oops that person wasn’t human and could cross dimensions, he grabbed onto them as they were crossing and now he doesn’t belong to any dimension or world, so time tosses him around.

Basically a load/save function in a game: that’s his life but he remembers it. if he dies he goes back to his last save, unless that save was considered “too late,” and eventually time puts him back further. time (the player?) decides when he can leave a world, and if they’re a completionist (like me with certain games) hes potentially not gonna have a fun time. some games he loves being in, like stardew valley. others....not so much.

4. Who is your all time favorite fictional character and why?

- ....arthur bcus shit he pretty and he so so good as a character but also? very relatable in the way he acts and like,,, thinks of things? if that makes sense?? im v bad with words gsjdk

5. What do you find yourself thinking about the most?

- ....cowboys. drawings of cowboys. cowboys

6. Look out your nearest window and describe what you see!

- its night so theres not much but uhhhh i can see the silhouette of my neighbors house in the backyard, i can see the light of the moon against the leaves of the bigger tree in the backyard, i can see the yellow crescent moon, and a lit window from someone far off behind my neighbor

7. What makes you feel nostalgic?

- childhood games and music from them. u play animal crossing, paper mario ttyd or mario galaxy osts and im humming along, and potentially crying a bit skjlgd

8. You have two hours left on earth, how do you spend them?

- probably blasting all my favorite songs, if it’s night, get in my car drive the gravel roads alone, at my own pace, alone

if its day see if anyone will eat sushi with me then go to the forest alone and walk

9. What’s your favorite sound?

-there is no way to describe this without sounding fucking crazy sdgkjl

in princess mononoke san’s mask gets shot and the sound it makes ive always adored?? like glass breaking but its lilted and then her EARRINGS SOUND is such soft pure ringing IM GSJKDGJ!!

THAT or the rising sun sound in okami....very good

10. What was the first fandom you were involved in?

-first fandom i like,,, looked at content other than the original source would be Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters when i was super young, but the first one i actually MADE content and posted for would be Overwatch i think

11. Describe your idea of a perfect day!

- waking up late but not considered afternoon, well rested, not a big breakfast but a satisfying one. walk marley for at least 30 minutes, go to the forest and walk around, draw or paint there for at least 2 hours,

come home, then it starts to storm but not bad but a low rumble and heavy rain, and i change into comfiest clothes possible, play viddy games with friends for a while, then make something either more drawing, felting, bracelet making, whatever.

dinner is my fav dish, i have ice cream as a snack at night, chocolate coffee, im in my fuzzy blanket, marley is on my lap, i am happy i am content i am safe

I’ll tag: @arthurmorgansgf​ @mary-gillis​ @jewishmatsuda​ @antonymmouse​ @albertmasonry​ @chonkyarthur​ @gwennolmarie​ @vandermatthews​ @katjiit​ @nyoom-bum​ @cyberpunk-keanu​ @my-funky-little-cowboy​

Sorry for anyone who was already tagged!

Here are your questions!

1. What’s your favorite type of music?

2. Do you like pineapple on pizza? (im not someone who will end u dont worry)

3. Tell me a random fact about the OC you’ve most recently created content for! (Or just your favorite one!)

4. If you were to meet any character/person from anything, who would it be?

5. What was the last book you read? (If you can’t remember you can say your favorite book)

6. Where do you want to be right now?

7. Last time you cried?

8. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? (pls go to bed at a good time if possible fellers)

9. Do you prefer dogs, cats, both, or other?

10. Who is the person you look up to the most in your life? (Can be anyone, real or not)

11. Favorite flower/plant?

[joisapig]

Looking Back and Moving Forward

With the new year resolution made, my life was back on track. So much freedom and happiness in me and I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have so many close and loved ones supporting me.

¾ of 2016 had been rough from the beginning till after the break up. However, it was also a relief that I got myself out of that shit hole which I kept falling back in the last quarter. It wasn’t easy, and I wouldn’t say I was proud of myself either but I managed to get out of it.

And was I glad I did.

I become the person I am and do things I want to. The experiences were amazing and they filled me to the fullest.

Right after the rough stint, I went to Malacca with my brother and his family in mid Aug. They welcomed me with open arms and the “self-pitiful” me went along and was pulling a long face the whole three days because I was supposedly heart-broken. However, having family around is the best thing ever. They left you alone to your moods but still tried to be there at the same time. For that, I’m grateful.

Estelle invited me to try pole dance with her. At first I was skeptical, I ain’t got no dancing bones in me! Been there, done that! 4 years in modern dance in secondary school. And I still feel stiff as fuck. I suspect it could be my shoulders know. Like cmon, relax man~ But, I still went for it. I joined kfit. What’s there to lose? Nothing. I needed to keep fit anyway. Tried many studios, tbh it was fucking fun. I’ve always love doing new things, more of like challenging myself. Imagine hanging on the pole and doing some awesome tricks but still looking graceful. Well, I can try that, cant I? But, I was err “shy” or should I say lazy? And this is what Estelle told me, “I’m going US the next month and you should really go for classes yourself instead of only when with me. Because this will then prove that you genuinely like it and you aren’t going because I am.” Woah. What?! That was a given challenge. Hey woman, I love it so I’m gonna show you that I really do. And that’s when I did. Went for pole classes myself, made new friends and brought friends in. Fun as fuck. And Estelle returned from US amused and proud of my improvements.

Phuket in Sept was next with liyuan for 5D4N. It was amazing. I said I want to surf and she went right along with me. That was fun and I absolutely enjoyed myself that we went again! It was liberating to do things for myself. I had time. Time for myself which was lost when I didn’t know how to manage.

Then Bangkok in Oct was next with lovely Huiyi and Zhimin. Huiyi’s mentor tagged along and I must say I was a little sad that they didn’t have anything going on. I really wish for her to have someone who’s not him in her life instead. Then there will be future ahead. But Bangkok was fun. I shopped so much! Bought stuff for myself too! I was happpppy!

And in the very same month, I got a surprise from my manager that I’ve got a salary adjustment for my work. It was great news because I felt at least now I’m earning the “right” amount in comparison to others in the society. I love my job. I love IT. And to be recognized for my effort was encouraging because this is a company which values its people. I’m blessed.

In Nov, I’ve decided to join an all girls’ darts league. It was a great decision made. Tiring as it was, I got to meet many people and gained league experiences. It was challenging and for the first few games, I was nervous. I always wish that I can focus. It’s like I am a 3 minutes person. Ooo, I love this, I’m gonna do this and excel in it. Then, I lose focus and it’s gone. But this league, it keeps me going. I didn’t have a choice. It was a commitment. And because I have teammates which I don’t want to “let down”, I practice. And when you practice, you improve. And it is still fun to me. When you hit the bulls and triples, the sounds coming from the dart board exhilarate me.

Yixuan broke up in Dec. She said I seem so happy and doing things that I like which made her see why her relationship wasn’t working out. I don’t know how her relationship was. But I have always felt that relationships starting out since secondary schools or junior colleges lasting till now seems to be like couples only having each other. This is what I see from social media which I could be wrong but the couples are usually hanging out with only each other. And that isn’t healthy I suppose. Sometimes, we need friends around us too. But of course, always set your priorities right. I’m really glad for her though. Super glad. Not the break up but her changes. She is so much happier now and amazing. She was the matured one in our clique. Now there’s this wild side of her appearing and full of life. Spontaneous but hopefully, still able to keep herself safe.

So past 2016 after the break up, I told myself that I would stay single for a year but I have friends telling me there’s no such thing. When love comes, it comes.

Even though I said I would be single, I did go dating around. I was just thinking like hey you know what, I have to meet people. Meeting people is interesting. You get to read them, find out what you like or dislike. I know I don’t have to meet guys and I don’t need any more new friends, but I would wanna know what’s good for me too. I’ve always wanted to settle down but I find out that hey, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t want to settle down then you meet anyone and that could be the person for you. No. Because you don’t settle. I want to meet the person who makes me want to settle down with. The idea is different now.

Truth be told, I’ve probably met about 7 new persons from tinder. None matters of course. But sometimes, the funny thing in life comes least expected. Met up with Chelsea and the rest as usual to have meal in HV and we were just talking about life when she teased me about liking Indians and wanting to intro her friend to me. I was like nah, not interested luh. I don’t like Indians specifically but I like nice people. And liking nice people don’t mean I have a thing for anyone. So after the meal here and there, apparently there was a plan to go clubbing and her Indian friend was going along. And that’s when I met him.

Okay, cute. Okay, tall. Hello beer belly. Hello smokes. Eek. Nopes! Haha! So I formed these in my head. But he suddenly became fucking cute to me that night in the wee morning which must be due to the alcohol. Entwined his fingers around mine to lead me in the club was interesting as I dont usually do that with strangers. But then again, my clubbing experiences could be counted with two hands back then. Haha.

Whatever it is, somehow, he texted me the following evening and we began texting everyday. I would say our texts were purely friends. Just talking and I didn’t read much in them which of course I shouldn’t. He seemed nice but I didn’t feel that we had a lot to talk about because we were only getting to know each other. But when we started to self disclose in our meetings, it felt different like in a nice way.

And in someway, he slowly grew on me like a constant. I can tell him anything and I don’t have to worry what fucks he thinks about me. I can be me and I am me. I feel comfortable around him and it was nice yet scary at the same time. I don’t know what the fuck I was getting myself into. I really don’t want history to repeat itself and so I really have to protect myself. I am cool headed. I have to be. I was a diver. Not literally. But someone who falls head over heels over a human quickly and stays devoted when there is supposedly chemistry or sparks. I can’t be that person anymore. This time, I need to be in control of myself.

He told me he likes me and asked me to go The Canopi with him but I was afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again in any way know. And somehow, when he mentioned Taiwan (I love Taiwan), I thought hey that seems fine.

Side track (so me!), I went to Bangkok with my family and friends in early Jan. Months filled with travels make me happy. All the exciting line ups. I feel like a free bird. Oh and I joined a new mixed darts league too as the previous one ended. This bunch of new people is just as fun and lovely!

Anyway back to Taiwan, I went there with him this Feb. It kinda changed things. We grew even closer and I would say we had fun together. Good fun. And I really enjoyed his company. He’s respectful and have amazing self-control there. Thumbs up gentleman. And Kenting was fucking amazing. Especially that one full day we had where we e-scootered the area and ended the night off with the perfect suggestion from him to look at stars together on the beach in the night. I’ve always wanted to do stuff like that and I get to with him. Seems like our travel plans just worked out and flowed when we are together. For now I would say as it is just the beginning. I daren’t look into the future just as yet.

A week plus after Taiwan, we had our first fight kinda too and he just bolted. It felt like when things got bad, the supposedly close person to you would leave. It felt like people only stay when time is good. That feeling sucks big time but we did get to know one another a little more than before. I could have just fucked it and moved on with life initially but me being me, I needed answers and clear cut ones too so I messaged him first. Felt like a loser but as usual I wanted closure. What was the point of closure though when someone doesn’t want me already and yet I kept questioning why. No means no, simple as that. But if he bolts again, I don’t think I want to deal with it because it hurts I hope I am firmer and stronger now than before.

Anyway we had our first staycation together on 25 March. It was the best stay I ever had. I felt so at ease with him just being me. Saying shit and doing silly things with him knowing that he will not view me indifferently after. It was liberating and exciting much. Lovely meal at TheLab. He picks good meal choices yet he doesn’t know. Heh. And all he talks about was McSpicy, no lettuce add cheese only. Teehee. And jacuzzi was awesome. There were lights and he filled the jacuzzi up with bath salts and shower gel. So many bubbles and so foamy! We drank and danced a little. His dance moves are so frigging adorable. Haha!! I love it when he seems so carefree and happy. Okay fine, he drank a lot more than me. Ha!

Oh and when he winks with one side of his lips inching upwards, that is fucking hot and cute. There’s this cheeky kid in him that makes me smiles and I just want to squish him so bad. Those big eyes staring into mine. I can lose myself in his eyes all day and night.

Mid March was Hongkong trip with my JC clique. So blessed to be able to hang with them the 9 years of friendship and still counting. That aside, all I can say was boy am I glad someone didn’t show up due to work. Because by then, I only want to be seeing him and none other.

Oh and I’m rubbing my feet now too. So smoooth.