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mrmeowski · 2 days

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˚✦𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭✦˚

Synopsis: Yīn Chén Jingyi's parents hired you to care for him, as they were concerned about their child. You've only been working for him for a few months, but it still feels like you're strangers. Sometimes you questioned if he even noticed your presence in the house. He is a game programmer who spends much of his time holed up in his room, drowning in his grief. During his episodes of depression, he freaks out and refuses to reason out why. It was your responsibility to keep him calm and be his shoulder to cry on. Will you be successful in your job?

CW: Depression, angst, sexual thoughts, possessiveness, slightly suggestive

Pairing/s: Depressed.M.Yandere x Caretaker.GN.Reader

Word Count: 4k

It was a damp, chilly night. The magnificent moon in the night sky gleamed brightly and nicely through the windows. Even though you had another companion in this residence, it didn't feel right—the deafening silence that filled the passageway, as well as the agonizing loneliness. Occasionally your thoughts wandered to the man trapped inside his room; 'How can he survive like this? 'and so on, but you didn't want to pass judgment.

Because the man never left his room, even for lunch and dinner, you had no idea if he even showered. You would come knocking on his door and either hand him a meal. The stairs creaked beneath your weight when you climbed to your destination. As you were ready to knock on his door and lend him his dinner, you heard him mutter something.

Though it was muffled, you managed to pick what he whispered to himself, "How can a world like this be so horrible to its inhabitants... Why must fate treat an already broken soul poorly? Have I done something to be treated this way? Is there even a God that watches over us or has He long abandoned us?" You sighed deeply as you opened the creaking door.

He was certainly having another episode, and you didn't want it to get any worse, unlike the prior time when you were still new. The room was silent save for the shattered man's tears, and your footsteps echoed through the dreary bed chamber.

You gazed at the dark-haired man, who was slouched in his chair with his head down and hair obscuring his pale face. On his desk were some empty and half-full anti-depressant bottles, dirty and clean clothes, and textbooks on the floor, but you said nothing about the mess. You'd offer to help him clean his room, but he always declined.

"Hey, Jingyi..." you whispered softly, and he peered up at you. His eyes were red and puffy, and seeing him in such anguish was heartbreaking. You placed his dinner in an empty area at the desk. "You know, I'm always available—you can reach out to me whenever you want to talk about something." Gradually extending your hand, you gripped his shoulder, expressing comfort and support, but he suddenly drew away.

He dislikes physical touch and is not used to it, yet he was impacted by both your gentle words and the comforting touch of your hand. However, his mentality will not allow him to be happy even for a moment.

"But isn't that your job...? To look after me?" His voice was poisonous as he gazed down at you; there was no feeling in his eyes, only a hollow hole in his soul. "The sole reason why you're staying around is because you're getting paid... None can tolerate me—all of them left since I was so much of a 'burden' that the money wasn't worth it." It was terrifying how his mind infects itself with lies, and you're not sure how to mend it that is if you can.

You were aware that before accepting the position, his parents had another caregiver. She sought to stay because it was free money. She hardly had to do anything, but the man had a reputation for getting aggressive if pushed too hard. That was what occurred to you before: he tossed books and other items at you while demanding for you to leave his room. Perhaps that is what happened to her, but you are unsure because there isn't enough information concerning her.

"Sure it is my duty to provide for your needs and that I also get paid for staying here yet I keep staying even if occasionally things become rough. I'm concerned for you and your well-being, what can wealth do if I knew I failed to assist someone in need when I knew I could've?" His face was unreadable as he glanced away.

Should you leave him be or stay by his side 'till he expresses his want to be alone? His countenance remained blank, and he sat motionless, which added to the turmoil in your mind as you considered your next move.

Following what felt like decades of drowning silence, the man in right in front of you spoke, "Thank you..." His voice was raspy and physically worn out as he pushed himself to keep going, "It's easy to become isolated in this space. In this whole household... It's a relief to have you here." He still refused to gaze directly into your eyes, preferring to concentrate on the medication on his table. "Do you think they help?" You pondered it for a moment, seeking to find the perfect words to tell him because you were reluctant to hurt him.

"I believe that they do help, yet," you started, not exactly intending to lie to him, though you were also reluctant to tell him the whole reality, "it's not a long-term fix. At times, you still need somebody to talk about your situation and experiences." You wanted him to come out of his shell along with trying other methods to assist him conquer his depression since clearly, his present way of life wasn't working out.

"Perhaps you're right..." His tone became a soft whisper, "It's just difficult to speak up..! To be completely sincere, I'm somewhat embarrassed of my emotions because I can't properly express them." He muttered monotonously, nervously fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket. "I'm scared that I'll be judged, of becoming a joke to others; I'm worried that when I grow exposed to someone, they'll abandon me... deceive me. That's precisely why I became a game developer—it's the only means by which I can express how I feel without others mocking them." He eventually glanced at you, his eyes poised to cry up again, and his lips quivering. "Y-You... You won't be like them, will you? You're not simply claiming these things? Just speaking to you... takes a toll on me." A ping of sorrow swirled in your heart; in all your years caring for him, you'd never seen him this transparent.

You were glad you were making some progress since he felt at ease discussing details with you.

"I won't—I utter these words with a purpose, and that goal is to see you in a better light." Your hand moved to his cheek again, this time subconsciously.

It simply cannot help; after all, physical contact is a means of expressing your affection for someone. He flinched and stiffened at first, but then relaxed slightly.

He sighed as he commenced, "Thank you again... I'm truly very grateful." He hesitantly took your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. "You know [Name], the world that we exist in... is overrun with misery and sorrow. Humans are selfish, greedy, and narrow-minded creatures." He sighed, his hold tightening slightly from his simmering rage and disdain.

You could only nod and listen to his shattered story. He delivered a long and bitter monologue about his background and suffering, his disdain for the world, and his philosophy. An extended outburst in which he expresses all of his anguish, as well as his melancholy and depression. He believes his heart and intellect will shatter into billions of bits. He feels like he might have done something wicked if you hadn't been present.

"Humans aren't just bad—they're undoubtedly revolting! The lowest of the low. The things that we carry out to achieve our selfish ends. How we destroy one another and our planet. The deceptions we spread to destroy a person... the fact that we use those who claim to be friends like tools to seize our goals. It's vile; can't those people not see or think of the person they've played with and had fun with? It's as if the misery of others makes them feel satisfied... makes them feel dominant and in control." He shook his head, and rage-filled tears began to stream from his eyes. "I can't change it... never." He held his gaze locked on the floor.

"Hey... pay attention to me, Jingyi." He was hesitant yet ultimately obliged. "You might not be able to alter reality, however, you can make yourself never to be like them, and you can motivate others via your games, which you said is the only way you could express yourself, right?" He nodded, understanding what you were saying. "Then you could share the message—make others see the consequences of their actions." He smiled briefly until his lips formed a line.

"Huh... I thought of that too, but I was worried they wouldn't get it or want to play it, because who would engage in something that is so—" You quickly caught him off before his mind completely corrupted itself and shut the notion off again.

"But you haven't yet attempted it yet!" He remained motionless for a moment, staring up at you through his tears.

You simply can't help but wipe it off his face with your thumb which made him embrace the warmth of your hand.

"Hmph... I am not sure. But perhaps you could be correct. You know... you have an unexpected amount of patience with me..." That comment made you chuckle, causing his brows to knit together. "Is there... anything humorous with that?" He relaxed his grip on your hand, nearly letting go.

You quickly addressed the potential uncertainty, "I-I just find you adorable! I wasn't... I didn't mean anything else." This time, he was the one laughing, pressing harder into your hand, causing you to turn red, which he probably noticed.

"I see, well... you're fairly cute too, stunning even." You swear you felt his lips brush against your palm, but you hastily ignored the possibility.

"Thank you! I... you're also quite good-looking." You grinned nervously, feeling his cheeks flush.

Even though he was still feeling low and wasn't used to connecting with individuals other than those written in code, chatting with you made him feel better than before. You got him to smile sincerely, something he hadn't done in what felt like a millennium. He chose to push additional buttons after all, you had said to try new things... So, why not try it here, with you?

He whispered under his breath, half-lidded eyelids, "I can't bear such an ovation from a deity... a divine being such as yourself, [Name]..." There was an expression engraved in his features that you couldn't quite figure out. "Do you have faith that there remains hope for finding joy within this cruel, monochrome world?" Your lips dropped a little, and he shifted the subject so swiftly that your mind couldn't thoroughly evaluate his initial statement in time.

"Of course! There will always be a possibility of anything." You opted to dismiss it again, assuming you had been hearing things or misinterpreting them.

Instead, you kept wiping away the small tears that were falling. Your hands were warm... Your touch was pleasant and soothing. It was addictive for him, and he could feel his entire being drifting off in response to your actions. He experienced something new in someone's touch... warmth. He simply felt your delicate hand on his cheek. It placed him into a trance. Almost immediately, when you first stepped foot in his freezing home, a warm aura enveloped you, and he regretted not getting closer to you.

However, there was one thing that bothered him significantly. He was merely a blemish in the world, vulnerable to being used as a toy and discarded when they became bored, whereas you were clearly something more. Why would you worry about something as pointless as him? So meaningless that even his own family had abandoned him to perish in this home, where others only treated him for money?

"[Name]... do you honestly believe a mere shattered soul such as me deserves to be handled like a person?" His silky voice was tinged with anguish; he had suffered in the past... a lack of concern for others.

His fears and sense of worthlessness were greater than you had anticipated. It was almost astounding how low he thought of himself. A simple compliment cannot only lift him. You realized he still didn't think you and your acts were sincere.

"Everybody deserves to be handled kindly... at least the majority of them do. You're among those deserving people, and if you're continuing to have doubts concerning my actions, remember that I'm doing this from the bottom of my heart." This was the final straw, he couldn't hold his emotions in and jumped at you.

This causes you two to land on the cold hardwood floor. Before you knew it, your shirt was moist with his tears as he wailed uncontrollably. The man had forgotten what it was like to feel warm towards someone... He had never felt understood or loved like this before. He spent the majority of his life isolated in his room, his only source of consolation being the characters that appeared on the screen of his computer, but this was never enough. He couldn't touch or feel the twirling figures because they were always hidden by glass. He had no hope of being with them, of feeling their warmth that could melt his cold heart.

"I... I swear to you this: I am going to do everything I can to live a life deserving of this generosity and empathy that you have shown me. Eventually, these actions you made... I will pay them back twice more. All of the emotions that you made me feel, I will give the same for you." He tightly wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

"There's no need for that, you know?" He thought it was quite selfless of you to accomplish all of this and not want anything in return.

It was too good to be true; he had been waiting to wake up while lying in bed or on the floor, drowned in his own tears, with no one to comfort or help him. But minutes had gone, and he continued to lie with you on the floor. It felt fantastic like he'd finally been appreciated. He was not accustomed to being listened to, let alone cuddled without ulterior motivations. You were a breath of fresh air he had been eagerly seeking and longing for.

He allows all the tears to fall freely onto your shoulders. He felt protected, heard, and loved—he tasted heaven. Following a flood of emotions, he smiled through the tears. A stunning smile. It's a smile that says he discovered happiness despite his dark and horrible life.

"I may still be trapped in this dreary world, yet I'll never going to be alone anymore when you're at my side... perhaps you are an angel." Looking intently into your eyes, his were filled to the brim with ecstasy and affection.

You chuckled lightheartedly, finding his praise delightful, correcting him, saying "I wish I was—but it's what someone would typically do—helping the ones who are down and desperate." He wished that was true, but in the years he had graced this unfair world, he had rarely met anyone with the same mindset.

"That's what an angel would say..." he whispered, and as he buried his head more into the crook of your neck, he added, "Word for word." You smiled, smoothing a bit of his hair back; it was surprisingly soft to the touch.

You had no idea that the man's face was as blazing as the fiery gates of the terrible depths below. He clung to you like a forlorn puppy, seeking love and care after being abandoned by soulless humans. He clutched you tightly in his arms, frightened he would lose you if you didn't.

Overwhelmed by so many distinct feelings, his mind couldn't cope as they continued to pound in his head. The sheer possibility that his life could have a future... There is still some brightness in this earth... It is too much for him to take. He started crying again, but this time it was tears of excitement rather than grief. He could feel his stomach twisting and turning, and he wanted it to go on. Is that what they call feeling butterflies in your stomach? Was he now feeling love? He wasn't used to it, regardless of what it was. He accepted it with wide arms, and he will want it in the coming years.

He took a deep breath and attempted to speak, his voice shaky and hoarse, "You're the one that saved me from this never-ending suffering... An existence that solely holds misery and pain in its wake. My rescuer, my little angel of light." Closing his eyes, your heart halted as he leaned in, your lips touching his.

He kissed you passionately, wanting to show you how much his heart and soul are in your hands, as well as how much he trusts you with his life. It was his way of expressing gratitude. His quick action surprised you; you had no idea he wanted to kiss you. You could feel his hand roaming the back of your head, deepening the kiss, as his body forced you down on the floor, trapping you. His kisses had turned urgent.

You can't bring yourself to push him away, and you'd probably be lying through your teeth if you claimed you didn't like it. After what felt like ages of kissing, he eventually broke the kiss, releasing a string of saliva from both of your lips. He peered down at you as if you were his prey, and he was the hunter looking down at his prize. His unhinged expression made the hair on the back of your neck spring up, sending thrills down your spine.

His eyes raced around, savoring every part of your face before settling on your body; quick and ragged hot breaths exited his mouth. A sly smile slowly sliced his face, and he felt joyful, genuine contentment. His ambitions and aspirations had finally come true; those anime figures he had so many fantasies about having fun with could now be fulfilled with you.

The man blushed like never before, not even while watching porn. None of this resembled anything else. If he could, he'd rip your clothes right now and do as he pleased. You'll be satisfied with that, right? You said you'd do whatever to make him happy...

"I'm... I-I'm sorry I didn't..." Unfortunately, he must be patient and deal with his hardened urges for the time being.

"It's alright! Just eer... impuuulsiveness?" You paused with your remarks as if you were merely looking for excuses for his conduct. Thankfully, he accepted it and gently nodded. "Y-You know, Jingyi, a smile on your face doesn't seem so bad! It fits you rather well!" Taking your gaze away from his mad expression, you hesitantly extended your palm to his face. "You should do it more often..." His cheeks had a subtle glow that had grown stronger with your statement and soft touches.

"Do you really think of that? You flatter me, but I... wouldn't think so [Name]." He realized he was repeating himself so much that he was scared you'd grow bored of him, but his thoughts contradicted that concept; he simply couldn't get enough of your compliments. "I can't take such a compliment from you; I should have been giving it all to you..." With open ears, he listened to your words and realized he couldn't get enough of you—you had become a narcotic to him, and he was fully addicted.

"Of course I mean it! Why should I not?" He merely hummed in answer, a devious smirk on his face. It appeared that he had calmed down somewhat before you entered the room, so you proceeded, "Hey, it's getting late and you haven't had a bite. Come on, let's have dinner!" The meal that you had first placed on his table had gone cold, but that didn't matter at this point.

"Hmm... I would really love to have dinner with you." He rose and rubbed the back of his neck in shame. Lifting you, he muttered sheepishly, "S-Sorry... I can't contain myself. Were you hurt?" Throwing himself at you was immature, even animalistic, but it also felt fantastic.

You chuckled, "No, it's perfectly fine! It means you're able to talk about your tale with me." He nodded, the tiny concern in his heart gone.

But when you turned away to get his dinner, you missed his whisper, "You're my new world [Name]..."

The two of you sat down and began eating together, and you noticed Jingyi sneaking glances at you although you remained silent. You simply want to enjoy the brief time you're given with him until he falls back to his old habits. The man couldn't stop smiling as he looked at your relaxed physique; it was as if you were the most gorgeous thing he'd seen.

After your nice supper, he requested that you watch a movie, which you gladly accepted. He was starting to come out of his shell, and you're not one to say no. He even snuggled with you as though you were a plush toy, burying his face in your hair. He couldn't be happier right now. Perhaps if you both had... intercourse—or, at the very least, marry him then it will double his joy. Oh, and he'll make it certain that no one interferes with his schemes, not even you.

The lone guy was no longer in the prison he had made to safeguard his little vulnerable heart from the cruel world that sought to exploit him. It was like he had found a reason to live; you are a drug that he can't get enough of; you move him closer to heaven. He cannot go back now, and unlike narcotics, this will not harm him in the long run. His admiration for you is infinite, more so than the galaxies above.

Long before the film ended, you fell asleep in his warm embrace. In contrast, he remained watching you until he too fell into a deep slumber. Even while sleeping, his mind was calm and content. He can't believe you'd invest your time and effort in someone like him without ill intent. You were truly a miracle.

In the dark of night, as the midnight chime rang, after he had ensured you had long fallen into an unwakable sleep, he stopped pretending to be sleeping, which he nearly failed... It can't be helped when he's with someone who exudes such ease. With your body now completely his, soft fingertips traced your jawline, loving every detail of your features. His touch was gentle as if one incorrect move might break you like glass.

His gaze moved from your face to your body, where every curve and flaw was a work of art in his eyes. You were live proof that humans were created by God. He has touched and tasted you, but it does not satisfy his insatiable appetite because he has yet to go further. His teeth brushed against your soft skin as he approached your neck to take a bite.

As he kept sucking on the side of your neck, he let out a quiet groan of pleasure. It tasted so sweet, and he pondered if it could be even sweeter down below. Silly little ideas had made him feel warm and fuzzy under his trousers. Fortunately, you were sound asleep; otherwise, you would have felt it and his mounting urges, which may or may not have scared you away. He wouldn't want that, he can't imagine a life without you.

He will ensure that you never leave his side, just as he will not leave yours. Even death cannot separate the two of you. It won't hurt for him to be a little selfish, will it? After all, this fractured world has stripped him of everything. It took both his soul and body and ruined his mind, forcing him to view reality at such a young age. But he will not allow them to take you away from him. He was selfless and naive at the time, making him the ideal target for their little plaything.

You are his alone, and he will go to tremendous measures to maintain it that way. Don't even think you can get out of this when you discover his deepest and darkest desires... You accepted this position and his conditions, and you agreed to stick with him.

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*•.𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃.•*

#yandere x reader #yandere fic #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere #yandere male #yandere oneshot

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