#i enjoy doing oc stuff

[cynicallyneutral]

kiri kisses for kiri birth

[inquisitors-and-serpents]

a lot of things have happened in the first month of the year but being compelled to draw the clockwork sun and getting thrown into a weeks long art block right after sketching it out was one of them?? i guess??? timelapse below:

[sleepinglionhearts]

Kana may, in fact, be named Kana because it is a simple name but also I know where I started, I'm borrowing that name with great respect u___u

[iizubuzu]

redraw of this post for @theskeletongames !! man i've definitely improved a lot since 2021 :o

more rambling and oc doodles under the cut (bonus rekkie doodle!)

i love seeing chip and red interact its the silliest thing my small brain can think of to draw when im bored

i'm not sure how well they would realistically get along since chip is pretty quiet but...i can still try <//3

i also love rekkie's design!! haven't seen him in a bit but i still love him sm :> <33

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

she begged, "I caught it. I caught it."

"No," murmurs time and the waking world. "You didn't."

[kurim-chis]

“The one who buried the beloved, was also you.”

—— blade/yingxing x reader (VERY lightly implied dan feng x you)

BACKGROUND: You're a short-lived species who arrived to the xianzhou alongside Yingxing in the merchant ships (perhaps childhood sweethearts??), you've been in a relationship for a few years now and while Yingxing is gruff and rough around the edges, he's nevertheless besotted with you and fiercely in love with you; a happy ending to this story seems likely —— until you get struck with the mara-disease.

AKA this is half-assed narrative and half-assed word vomit, I just want to add more pain and suffering to Blade's past while being self-indulgent trash :D

.

.

yingxing has seen the mara disease so many times before, during the war and within the ships with their citizens, especially once their times passed the five hundred mark and madness slowly creeps in. their faces had mostly been obscured by golden flowers and twisting branches the first time he saw the corpses, but throughout the years he's seen many variations of them.

faces contorted in agony, twisted in fear and despair, or slack and numb as roots wriggled out of their skin and flowers bloomed over their eyes, and most often they would be driven into mara-struck madess and insane bloodlust in their rampages.

yingxing never expects the mara to fall upon you.

if yingxing tries to look back on it, perhaps it had started way more earlier than they'd known — perhaps it was the itching, the little scratches healing faster than they should, the headaches and the daydreaming. it doesn't quite strike either of you until one day you are screaming as golden lines split your skin, as little branches claw their way out of your arms, and small buds blossom from the wounds on your flesh. it's sudden and unexpected and terrifying and you are hunched over yourself trembling and shivering and sweating as he tries to hold you, a hand hovering over the tiny blossoms that grows out of your neck and collarbone, the tiny roots wriggling out of your arms, and it gets progressively worse from thereon.

this can't be happening, you say

i'm scared, you say

please believe me, you say

(because you're a short-lived species, and the only way you could've been struck with mara like this is for you to receive the plague author's blessing)

yingxing believes you (yingxing loves you)

you are frightened and terrified and yingxing can only hold you through the tears and terror and confusion and pleasedon'thatemeyingxing

perhaps, if it had been just the blessings of the abundance, it would've been fine. there are countless individuals within the ship who use the power of the abundance in medicine and aid, after all. but roots continue to wiggle and settle over your skin like bangles and chains, golden flowers begin sprouting from the buds in your flesh, and even your eyes and hair starts losing their colors.

you try to snip the blossoms and the locks of hair and the branches, and the wounds only heal over and over and over again, each time faster than before, the blooms brighter and livelier than the last, and the tips of your hair take on the color of dry blood and your eye color melt into the gold of the mara disease.

you are in pain, you are in agony and miserable, and eventually, even your memories and sense of self start deteriorating amidst a haze of golden petals and blood.

you start asking if it would be better to die "while you still can" (you are afraid of becoming like the mara-struck soldiers in the game), but yingxing doesn't allow you to.

this cannot be happening, yingxing thinks.

it breaks yingxing to watch you like this, but no one else can know. xianzhou will see you dead for suspicions of worshipping the plague author. he can only hold you during the nights and soothe your fits until you settle like a docile beast in his arms, and then during the day, he researches

yingxing puts aside the forgery for as long as he possibly can without arousing suspicions and throws himself into mara research discreetly, but there's not much he can find. access to advanced texts are restricted and he only learns about as much as anyone interested in the mara disease knows, but one thing is for sure —— there's no documented recovery from the mara in the centuries of the xianzhou history.

become mara-struck, and you either die in a flurry of golden flowers or are striked down by the cloud knights.

(there's another thing yingxing eventually finds out, as well —— this is no accident. someone caused this to you)

(yingxing will hunt them down to the farthest reach of the stars, and he will not stop until they are dead. whoever did this will wish they hadn't been born.)

if yingxing cannot find anything about how to recover from the mara, perhaps then he could find a way to control the disease, prevent it from hurting you as it was doing now, prevent it from turning you into a mad creature. it wasn't too late yet, and yingxing refuses to give up on you.

yingxing turns to imbibitor lunae and the scalegorge waterscape — the sacred abode of the vidyadhara, a race devoted to the sealing and guard of the ambrosial arbor, and that becomes one amongst the many mistakes he will have commited.

in the future, the man - yingxing - who will become known as blade will look back on this moment and laugh — madly, loudly, hatefully, as he lives on cursing his life and that of two other sinners.

you are dead, and yingxing could not save you

you are dead, and blade wants to die

.

.

.

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE NARRATING:

There are a LOT of layers to what I want to be happening in the premise of this short. For example, I wanted to write that the ones responsible for "you", as a short-lived species, going mara-struck was a result of sabotaging and conflict with Sanctus Medicus (or whatever antagonist there is during the events of Dan Feng and Yingxing's crimes), who wanted to sow strife amidst the Xianzhou. There's a lot of plot going on that my little brain can't be bothered to rationalize.

During his research on mara and trying to find out HOW you turned mara, he begins suspecting of foul play and unearths quite a bit of shit within the Xianzhou. There's a lot of sketchy shit, some not related at all to what he wants to know, and it paints numerous targets of Yingxing.

Their main targets would actually be Jing Liu (who some time later on succumbs to mara and goes on a murderous rampage) and many other higher ups and important figures to different areas of the Xianzhou. In trying to discreetly trigger or infect mara to others, they also partook in indiscriminate damage in hopes one of their targets will be caught unawares and be infected with something that can trigger or coax out the mara disease, and "you" were caught in the crossfire and ended up mara struck (or perhaps you were intentionally targeted as well, can't decide on this) as a short-lived species collateral. Many of the other short-lived species die during this period of time.

By some twist of fate or whatever, your descent into mara isn't instantaneous and is instead painful, slow and with a clear consciense of the changes in your body, but it's only slowed, and your body can't adjust to mara like how Blade and Jing Liu will in the future.

Ying Xing, however, clings to the hope you can mantain your clarity and sense of self, and what he wanted to do in this short is research the vidyadhara's records to see if he could seal away your mara or contain your disease. When that wasn't enough, he will perhaps 1) try to find some other way, 2) try to see if Dan Feng can find a way to contain your mara disease, or at least delay it until something can be done because this wasn't your fault.

Instead, what happens is that Dan Feng kills you.

Dan Feng sees you and you are half consumed with flowers even though you aren't being violent or crazed, you've tanked the attacks of many other cloud knights and mara-struck alike and are covered in blood and tatters while everyone's dead. Your sins are set in stone (are they really?) and your ending is only a matter of time, so Imbibitor Lunae - although pained - decides to put you down and lay you to rest. He tries to kill you - and either fails or obliterates your sense of self so all that remains is a corpse that keeps healing - and then seals/buries your regenerating body into the Scalegorge Waterscape.

Dan Feng's actions are an act of compassion, love and mercy in his eyes. He buries you in Scalegorge Waterscape, where your rest will be undisturbed and none shall desecreate your body, not even the Xianzhou will be able to part the seas of Scalegorge.

But that and what Yingxing sees are different. (they also think differently lmao)

After Yingxing reaches Scalegorge amidst all the chaos that would be happening, he would only know you were hurt very, very badly. Blood, flowers, tattered clothes. Lots of fighting, arguing, etc.

Ending is that - as mentioned - despite his efforts otherwise, Yingxing sees your body cast into the abyss of the Scalegorge Waterscape and sealed there, left to rot in the darkness and cold of an artificial sea.

Afterwards, he himself becomes mara-struck and then is sent of to be killed over and over again by Jing Liu lmao. He wants to die, but he cannot.

At some point in time, he almost forgets that his name is Yingxing and he had loved someone who died unjustly amidst internal conflict and everything, but it comes back to him when he escapes and becomes Blade.

EVERYTHING here is just self-indulgent brainstorming. NGL it could've been better.

[marclef]

OKAY HELL YEAH THE POWER'S BACK ON HERE SO, VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!!

SOME-FUCKING-HOW I'VE GOTTEN TO ✨300✨ FOLLOWERS!!!!!

I DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE BUT, I AM BEYOND AMAZED BY THE SUPPORT AND LOVE YOU'VE ALL GIVEN ME SO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ❤❤❤ YOU'RE ALL TOO SWEET AND KIND AND I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU /PLAT 🤗

this came a lot sooner than i expected, so i didn't have the best of plans to celebrate... but i do have a good Babysitter Fakey to offer. i hope you like him 😊

and... some ramblings under the cut, if anyone cares about hearing me yell for a moment...

but.... let me just say that, moving my art onto Tumblr has been one of the best decisions i've ever made. the love and support from here compared to Instagram is unreal, and, something i never saw coming, i've actually made some real close friends here. and me being the socially-awkward weirdo i am, it really means a lot to me. you guys have been helping me feel not just better about myself, but helping me reach out and talk to others like me, it's just insane. i genuinely mean it, thank you guys so much. you're the best ❤😭❤

and another thing..... i've been a bit busy with stuff lately, but i promise i'm trying to work on stuff! i've got a few drawing asks i really need to work on, and as for my writing..... okay i still haven't started it. but i AM trying to figure out how best to write it, because i plan on doing both split parts AND drawings for it. i want to make sure it comes out the best it possibly can. but stay tuned, there's a lot i've got to finish up!

..... oh alright. one more bonus if you've made it this far. lo and behold: the very first art piece i ever posted to Tumblr, not thinking i'd be moving fully onto here hehe 😅 enjoy Peppino's old design in all its full glory ✨✨✨

ain't he a beaut'.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Greetings I play cookie run

[yummyyummie]

Here's some Peaches drawings, based on a piece of writing i wrote, you can read it below :3

A Demon's Visit - wordcount 2381 cw: vore, fulltour, unwilling prey

"So full of despair and anxiety, aren't you dear? Good thing I heard you, we'll get this fixed up, don't fret it, sweet little thing~"

You never quite expected that just calling out to nothing would actually be answered, sure it was genuine, but you would never think that it would work. It just sounds too ridiculous. And yet here you are, held off the ground in the clawed hands of some four legged demon. She had ominously appeared after you had been crying your heart out, feeling like a wreck after a particularly rough day, something finally snapped the camel's back so to speak. Out of the shadows she had approached, and even if she was soft spoken it was still terrifying to have a literal demon standing before you. But you were too emotionally drained to really do much about it, as if it mattered to try and run. 

And now she has picked you up so she can actually look you in the eye. Her yellow, faintly glowing eyes don't exactly look back with sympathy, more so they gleam with some morbid eagerness. She gives you a gentle smile, and speaks up again.

"Wouldn't you want to feel a bit better? Just have all those terrible feelings and mean thoughts go away? I could help you, no charge needed~" She offers, it sounds too good to be true, to be honest. Clearly there must be some kind of catch, it's a demon after all.

"Really?" Is all you can muster out, you'd want to ask more but don't have the energy to really say much right now.

"Really~" She slyly responds, grinning back at you. "All I'd ask is to be allowed to do what's needed to get you better, that's it. I'm not interested in much else, truly!" She says moving you a bit closer to her.

You think about it for a moment, you have no clue what it is that she'd do to you. But at the same time you wanted little more than for all these shitty feelings to leave you be, so it did sound tempting. And for nothing in return? It sounded dubious in every regard, really, but your head's not in the right place. You just want things to get better so you can move on with your life, not just keep sulking. So if she can supposedly fix it, might as well give it a shot. Like things can get much worse.

"Do we have a deal~?" She asks, taking a hand off of you, to hold it out for you to shake.

"Sure.." You mutter and lightly shake her big, clawed hand, to which she merrily grins again. 

"Wonderful! Now, don't struggle too much dear, it won't hurt a bit. Just… let it happen~" She says, lifting you up closer and closer to her face, getting uncomfortably close. Her breath on your face smells vaguely of some kind of flowery incense or perfume.

And then she opens her mouth. You want to instinctively freak out and pull away, putting your arms up against her face, holding yourself away. She chuckles before closing her mouth and looks at you with a playful smile. You can feel your heartbeat having just started racing, your fear getting some energy back to you. She shakes her head and tisks at you.

"What did I just say? You made a deal, my little sweet, no take-backsies now~" She says, trying to lift you into her mouth again. But you just can't get yourself to calm down, you grip the edges of her mouth again to resist and push back against her trying to get a bite of you. This time she doesn't look so amused, as if getting annoyed with you. Even if it would make sense to not be willing to accept a demon just shoving you into their mouth, you think.

"Darling, if you're gonna be difficult I will have to pacify you, and I'm sure neither of us would enjoy that very much. So be a good little mortal and let me help you!" She growls and opens her mouth before you again, it doesn't exactly ease your nerves hearing her getting frustrated. Against your better judgment, you still struggle, it's hard to beat your fear telling you to fight back. She stops and sighs, you're not making this easy at all. But she appears to fend off her annoyance, trying to remain patient.

"Alright, alright. This isn't working, clearly. Eventually you will grow too tired to struggle, but listen I don't want to spend my whole day waiting for that. So, let's see if calming you down will make this go a bit smoother." She says, as you feel her gently stroking your head. "Breathe in, and it should soothe some of your nerves, little one~" That you can do, probably, you think in response to her request. Her neck puffs up as she takes a deep breath in, and then gently blows a lavender smoke or gas at you. It has that same flowery scent, only much more intensified. At first it feels like it burns your nose and your lungs, but the stinging feeling quickly subsides as the calming effect takes hold. Slowly but surely you feel the tenseness in your body lessen, as if it and your senses all are being softened up. Even her petting is starting to feel quite nice.

"There, that's a little better, isn't it? I'm not out to hurt you, that ain't my style, I just want to help rid you of those pesky, delicious anxieties and distresses of yours~" She coos gently, giving you a little lick across your face. It feels warm, but not as bad as you would've imagined. "Let's get you where you need to be before the temporary calm wears off, yes~?" She says and you meekly nod in response, and she smiles back at you.

This time moving you up to her open maw you don't immediately go to resist, feeling too tired and soothed to fight back. She lets your head rest against her tongue for a moment, you're not sure if she's tasting you or just giving you time to look down into her mouth. 

She shoves you in further, careful not to accidentally catch you on any of her sharp fangs. You feel her saliva across your face, and it only gets warmer as you have your head all the way in the back of her mouth. Her throat widens and opens up for you, as she pushes you further and further in. You feel your upper body glide down and push up against the fleshy, warm walls. It becomes hard to move, but you still don't feel all that compelled to struggle. With a gulp she pulls you down more into her, you feel only your legs still in her mouth. With another you are cradled all in her soft, yet tight throat. It takes a moment before she sends you down, you feel as she presses her hand against her neck outside, squishing you within. After a small, content chuckle from her you feel the walls squeeze you downwards with one last loud swallow.

After a short trip of more squeezing you exit into her stomach. Expecting it to be dark and uncomfortable, it surprisingly is glowing a ambiently gentle purple. The surrounding walls are pillowy soft, if it weren't for the wetness and movement it'd almost be like being caught in a big fluffy blanket. But even with how oddly cozy it is, you feel the unease creep in again. As it dawns on you that she just ate you, whole and all. You start to look around frantically, trying to see if there's any way out somehow. But even if you spot the mouth of the stomach, it is pressed firmly shut. Panicking, you press and move your hands around against the walls, trying to find something. Anything. But all you find is hearing her chuckle at you, the sound reverberating strangely hearing her from inside of her. You can't help but be a bit upset at her for finding this funny, it isn't funny one bit, you feel tricked. Out of frustration you kick against the fleshy walls, but it doesn't seem to do much.

As you sit there and grumble angrily and fearfully to yourself, you come to notice that there's not really anything in here that's hurting you. Sure it's wet, but there's no sign of any acid or anything burning your skin. You're just soaked and covered by floral scented liquid, the smell is a little bit calming. Though the longer you wait the closer the soft walls start to encroach, giving you less and less space to move around inside her belly. They squish up against you all around, forcing you into a scrunched up fetal position. Even if tightly snug, you don't feel uncomfortable, oddly enough. The stomach squeezes you gently in almost a rhythm, and you can more clearly hear the sound of the demon's heartbeat when your ears have the walls pressed against them. The sensation causes you to relax, almost feeling like you're being softly cradled. Then you hear her humming, she sounds pretty happy with herself, gently swinging her tummy from side to side. Is she trying to lull you to sleep? You can't quite tell, you're having a hard time focusing at all. The thoughts you're having feel fleeting, being absorbed by her as you continue to be squeezed. Telling the time is incredibly difficult, but you can imagine it just keeps going for hours. Yet you can't get yourself to worry about the things you're missing. It's as if those thoughts are being taken the moment you try to think them.

After a while, however many hours have passed, you feel something change. The walls around you shift and move, tensing up as they push you towards the bottom exit of the stomach. It opens up and you're pushed through. At first you want to think that you're about to be going through her intestines, but your mind doesn't seem to want to care. It doesn't matter, nothing matters now really. You just feel empty, like someone took all your emotions away, or at least the negative ones. And now your brain is having a hard time producing any new negative thoughts, it takes way longer than you have the attention to spare for it.

And then you enter into another fleshy chamber, it appears to be her second stomach. You do recall her having two tummies when you saw her from the outside, before you ever had a clue you'd end up in her. This one is even softer than the last one, and squishes around you keeping you in a lying position. Your senses almost feel overwhelmed at first, with how soft it all is. The comforting smell. The groaning sounds of the belly coming from all around you. Your empty thoughts and feelings are slowly filled with comfort and calmness, you haven't felt this relaxed in forever. You can't think of anything else, it's all your brain wants to care about right now. It's an odd sensation, and again time just moves on without you having a clue for how long.

It's just warmth and softness, a distant heartbeat ringing in your ears, and no way out on your own. Like being stuck in a sleeping bag that wants nothing but for you to feel good. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to let her eat you, your thoughts wander, feeling relief.

But you can't stay here forever. That wasn't a part of the deal.

You feel everything move around you, pushing you forward. Even if you don't want to leave, you have no means of fighting it, your body refuses to act. It just accepts being tugged out from the incredibly comfy chamber, into the fleshy tubes that are the demon's intestines. The constant pulsing surrounding you brings you deeper and deeper.

It just keeps going and going. Will it ever end?

At least it isn't too bad, you still feel quite relaxed. And you didn't die, which you guess she was right about not hurting you. Still not exactly how you expected to spend your …day..? You'll just have to check how much time has actually passed when you get the chance.

Eventually it appears like you have arrived at the end. It is a peculiar experience, not particularly dignified, but it certainly could have gone way worse. You're surprised to find yourself back on the floor of your room, a fair bit soaked, but you feel a whole lot better compared to earlier. Frankly you barely even remember what got you in that state in the first place, it's all dust in the wind now.

You hear the jingling of the demon's golden jewelry as she steps around behind you, and as you're just about to try and get up your vision goes dark, from a bath towel having been dropped over you.

"I'd stick around to play with you more, but I have other matters to attend to. Thanks for the meal, though, lemme just dry you up and I'll be on my way~" She says and ruffles you over with the towel, drying off whatever liquids that are soaking you. "Don't worry, I've just been lazing around in here, mostly. I did have to find something for when you eventually would get out, but surely you don't mind. It would feel rude to leave you all numb and wet laying on the floor for a while."

After getting you dry she picks you up and places you on your bed, you still can't quite get your body to move, so you just lay there watching her tuck you in. She giggles to herself, and strokes your head before she wanders back towards the shadows of the room.

"Don’t try to get upset just to make me come back, y'hear sweetie? If you want me to visit, remember me and I'll probably hear you~" She waves at you, though you can't really wave back.

"Taa-taa for now!" She says before vanishing into the shadows she emerged from way earlier.

[linrinkuarts]

🍕💣❔

[azuneekun]

Hi! I really love your art! I have a new farmer OC that I've been wanting to show off, but I don't know how to introduce them, do you have any tips? I would draw them but idk how

i hope you have a good time introducing your farmer!

[magellanica]

~ First Experience on Brittle Hollow ~

[boyswhowawa]

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

YOU CAN'T FATHOM THAT REACH BUT NEVER CATCH

[ I'm really really proud of how this came out ]

this was TONS of fun to do and I feel so CONFIDENT IN MY WORK

I'm hAPPY

delighted to be where I am, to have th friends I have, and to be doing this tumblr thing, to have the opportunity to share this creation, to share all my work, and keep growing better and better

ANYWAYS MORE GOOFING UNDER THE CUT

SONG ASSOCIATION

early sketchings

then with the base colors of the different three colors they have in this piece!

here were base colors almost done !!

oh also fire spear ajd;sflkajsdflakjdsf

here's me goofin' off with some color filters gyehehhehehe

here was a rough sketch of the background partially

here was the front layer of the background

then here was the background prior to effects!!

then here's the whole piece zoomed out!! which shows off the sparks better, I lvoed the sparks they were such shape y to do asjdf;lkaksdjfal;ksdfja

this piece was delightful to work on, and I really love how it turned out

I had this idea yesterday, which was whwen I designed Foxificer too, but putting it to action was such fun??? my goodness, Foxificer is just fun to draw ajsd;flaksjdf;klasdj;lfkas

thanks for reading! hope to see ya around

[undefeatablesin]

DARK THUNDER ⚡️: 6/6 PAGES

[liquidstar]

now its time for these three

[razrogue]

channeling energy (Minthara x Tav)

It takes Minthara some time to come to terms with the force that Gan is.

Someone being so in sync with her and wasn't trying to kill her to take it all was like a fever dream. All the right words are said, almost all the right moves are made, Minthara found it unsettling at first. Many nights she wanted to push into Gan's mind to really find out if there was a dagger waiting for her. The one night her curiosity got the better of her and she did, it was illuminating and incredibly frustrating.

Gan felt Minthara's tadpole engaging hers as they got situated in Rivington. She knew it couldn't really be anyone else because it was a sensation she'd known before with Minthara given how she often intruded into her thoughts long before now. Minthara hadn't done it since before the shadow cursed lands when she last saw her after the party so Gan was a little annoyed at the intrusion now. She dropped the bag she'd been holding and stared at her, waiting for her to use her words. It surprised Minthara for a moment before she finally tells her.

She wanted to know if this was all a dream. If she had to be worried that they would eventually end up on opposing sides. Gan looks at her before finally agreeing to let her in. Minthara is hesitant at first. She had to admit to herself that her intrusion was not entirely about finding out if she was only a rest away from a dagger to her throat, not unlike how she'd once done to her. Whispers of companionship had also crossed her mind. She knew the elf was coupled with the vampire spawn. She'd seen them cavorting about but he was of no consequence to her, he barely registered as a threat, let alone a rival. Minthara did find it puzzling how such a formidable person had gotten tangled up with such a fiend but being on the surface had introduced her to many strange customs.

The two of them went into the barn, away from prying eyes, and allowed their minds to mingle.

Minthara pushed in, gently at first, bracing for whatever lie in the thick of it all. She found herself greeted by hesitation of Gan wondering if they should trust them then admirable scenes of the two of them side by side slicing and smiting their foes. It brings Minthara joy to see them removing threats to their claim. But then Minthara pushed further and saw something a lot more personal. The two of them embracing each other by firelight. Gan lying beneath her, hands palming her ass, running her tongue along the edge of her ear. Quickly nibbling its point as she slides her hand further down until it reaches warmth.

Minthara pulls back. It is a revelation indeed. She tells her that she is a little surprised, not that they had not connected physically before. But the vision Gan had shown her held far more intimacy than she anticipated.

She reached for her hand, letting her know her feelings were not one sided. Then she had to lay everything out - that she did not share those she cared about.

Gan runs her thumb across the back of her hand, along a freshly healed scar. She understood that Minthara felt that way but she could not live like that. She told her how she grew up in a family with many parents who all loved and embraced each other freely. She found it incredibly selfish to want to consume someone wholly when you are capable of loving many as love and the capacity to love was not finite. The irony wasn't lost on Gan how she could be unapologetically selfish in so many aspects of her life but loving and sharing herself with others was not one of them. She understood that Minthara felt how she did but she was not one to hoard her affection for others. Gan grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm as she stood up. 

She valued Minthara, not only as an ally but as someone she was starting to care about in a sense, but she would not be made to conform to someone else's definition or expectations. And so Minthara takes that knowledge and response in stride.

It was not her way and she knew the surface folk moved very differently than those in the Underdark. She couldn't fathom having to share her affections with others because when she loved, she only wanted to love one.

But time and insight had a way of bringing clarity. When they were engaged they were no less attended to than the spawn was. Even if it hadn't been in a romantic capacity at the time, Minthara felt no less important to her. Minthara slowly came to see what Gan meant. It may not have been her way but it was a sight to see and to be a part of. So when she finally decided she was willing to partake, she did so with the full knowledge that she wouldn't feel lesser.