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arhvste · 3 years

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002 SAKUSA KIYOOMI X SHUT UP AND DRIVE SERIES

++ MSBY GARAGE

❝ get you where you wanna go, if you know what i mean, got a ride that’s smoother than a limousine ❞

dt — @omisluvr i hope you like this, i had a lot of fun writing about you and your husband <3

warnings — nsfw : oral [recieving]

“what the fuck were you even thinking when you said yes to him anyway?”

sakusa pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood in the doorway of his high rise apartment. you were looking up at him, eyes glossy and hair drenched. your skin soaked not just from the rain, but from the fresh, hot tears that had run down your face as your hands scrunched the hem of your soaking sweater, the material quickly growing uncomfortable to wear.

the outside hitter sighed before stepping out the way to let you in.

“stay there.” his deep voice rang through your ears as he left to grab you a fresh towel to use.

you stood there, glancing around the sleek apartment as the city lights from down below leaked softly through the windows emitting a soft glow around the room. moments later, you heard footsteps approach as your eyes flickered over to the hallway.

sakusa strode over to you, handsome features highlighted and sharpened under the dim lights. sticking his hand out, he dropped the plush white towel into your awaiting arms as a plastic bag. you looked up at him confused regarding the bag, but before you could ask, he cut straight in.

“strip.”

“excuse me?” you choked out as you stared at the man in disbelief.

“you’re excused.” he muttered bluntly as you wiped your face with the warm towel. “you’re all wet. strip here and go shower and then we’ll talk.” he finished as he turned to leave you standing, dripping wet on the doormat of the entrance.

sakusa walked down the hall towards the bathroom and began to run the hot water and ensure the vents were working for you. having him out of sight, you sniffled and began to peel the wet clothing off your body and toss it into the plastic bag you’d dropped onto the floor. after stripping bare, you wrapped the inviting towel around your cold body and padded towards the bathroom. sakusa had left the light on and had already heated the water for you to prevent any time wasted.

you dropped the plastic bag on top of the white wicker laundry basket and stepped into the wet room style shower. the cool tiles beneath your feet caused shivers to run through your body as you turned the tap on for hot water to flow out.

as a fresh wave of hot water flooded down you, so did a fresh set of hot tears. you did your best to hold back the sobs you’d been keeping in, but it was all too much now.

‘better get it out now before talking.’ you thought as you let the tears flow freely down your face.

luckily, sakusa kept an array of various shower products so you knew you wouldn't have to come out the shower smelling like a six foot plus man who’d had a shower at the gym. after knowing sakusa for so many years, you knew he was picky about his products and you were eternally grateful for his favoured and toned-down scent of ‘ocean waves’.

lathering the soap across every inch of your now warming skin, your sobs slowed down and your breathing less jagged. your chest still hurt, but whether that was your crying causing chest ache or your now-ex causing heart break, you didn’t care anymore. you saw the end of your already deteriorating relationship approaching from a mile away anyway. if anything, you were partially thankful it had come crashing down, ending the anticipation that kept you on edge everyday. you just didn’t think it would actually hurt.

rinsing the soap off and feeling a bit better, you stepped away from the shower head as the water came to a halt. grabbing the fresh towel sakusa had left waiting for you on the radiator, you dried yourself as much as you could before wrapping the towel tightly around your body and stepping out the steaming room.

wandering through the dim hallway, you peeped into sakusa’s room as he scrolled through his phone, slouched on the king sized bed adorned with a firm, but certainly luxury mattress.

you knocked gently as his eyes snapped up at you. his expression still agitated looked, but softening at the sight of you.

“i don't have any spare clothes.” you murmured quietly, stepping into his clean and immaculately kept room.

he hummed before getting off the bed and rummaging through his own drawers. you stood there glancing around all of his medals and trophies won from years of playing in highschool and now pro. you had been present when he had won multiple of these awards. you happened to be one of the lucky few allowed close to sakusa. yes, you had known each other from a young age, but sakusa was ruthless in the sense of cutting people off; you had been someone exempt from that treatment though.

after a few moments, sakusa grunted with a pair of sweats in his hand as he looked down at your damp form.

you were taken aback slightly because despite sakusa slowly becoming more comfortable with personal boundaries, particularly in the recent years, you still grew slightly shocked everytime he willingly loaned you something of his own.

“thanks.” you whispered as you took the dry clothes and headed over to his en suite bathroom.

locking the door behind you, you quickly threw the sweats on and inhaled the natural scent that had rubbed off onto the clothes. sakusa smelt expensive in your opinion. yes, it was his natural scent, but anyone could tell he was a man of serious selfcare just from the scent of his clothes alone.

satisfied with your dry attire, you hung the towel on the radiator before switching off the light and stepping back into sakusa’s bedroom.

the sweats were definitely too big for you, but he had done his best to find one of his older sets in hopes of them perhaps fitting you a little more and for the sake of his own comfort knowing you weren’t wearing any clothes he’d regularly wear and fear catching too many external germs onto. you smiled weakly at him upon catching eye contact as he sighed and patted beside him on the bed.

staying close friends with the germaphobe had definitely benefited you as you had only grown closer to the pro-volleyballer over the years, allowing the two of you to naturally grow physically closer too. there’s not a lot of people in the world sakusa would’ve allowed for them to shower, wear his clothes and especially not sit on his bed, but once again, you were exempt from that, you always were; and he knew why.

“so,” he began, cutting through the thick tension lingering. “what happened exactly.”

always so straight to the point. maybe running to sakusa immediately wasn't the best choice.

“he cheated.” you spoke dryly as sakusa’s frown grew deeper.

“explain.” he pressed as you felt your chest increasingly tighten.

“i showed up to his house and-” your eyes watered as tears began to spill out. opening your mouth to continue, you struggled as no noise came out. scrunching your eyes up in frustration, you sobbed once more but stopped as you felt a warm hand take in your own.

you looked up through blurred vision as sakusa had a firm, but sincere look on his face. tightening his grip slightly on your hand, you shakily breathed out before continuing.

“the door was unlocked, i went in and i saw.”

“saw what?”

“her. the girl he told me not to worry about. the one he promised me was nothing more than a friend.”

sakusa scoffed as you sighed warily, tears dripping down your chin.

“they were um- you know-”

“-having sex. yes, i get the idea.” sakusa quipped as your heart dropped.

“um, yeah. i just left and well, here i am.” you laughed bitterly, face wet once more and vision blurred.

“what a fucking loser.” sakusa spat out bitterly as you hung your head low.

“i don't even know why you said yes to him. what the hell does he even have going for him? tell me what exactly it is that he brings to the table, i’ve been dying to know.”

you looked up as sakusa’s hand held yours tightly.

sakusa looked almost as hurt as you did. you quickly put that idea to bed and assumed it was natural protectiveness. he was your best friend after all. you just didn’t know just how badly he had wanted more than that though.

“he was just- he was just there i guess. someone for me to date. maybe i was just lonely, i don’t know. i, fuck- i dont know omi! i dont fucking know anymore!” you sobbed as sakusa’s eyes softened.

“well. what are you gonna do now?” he spoke sharply, eyes fixated on you.

“nothing i guess. i’ll get over it, i knew it was bound to end anyway.”

“and running to me was your first option?”

“are you really that surprised? i just didn’t know who else to go to.”

sakusa sighed before standing up and urging you to stand up with him.

“where are we going?” you asked, begrudgingly standing up beside his toned form.

“to take you out. i’m not having you soak my sheets with tears caused by a loser.”

“but i’m not dressed for that!” “we’re staying in the car for the most part.” he confirmed, notioning for you to follow him back to the front door where his car keys were left.

you sighed but followed suit as sakusa grabbed one of his own sweaters to put on. looking back at you, sakusa noticed your down expression as his own heart tugged slightly. he could only hope you’d perk up by the time he’d taken you to where he intended. he almost felt bad. almost.

you huffed but followed sakusa out the apartment behind him and waited as he locked the door swiftly behind him. trailing sadly behind him towards the elevator, sakusa watched as your miserable state wallowed in sadness behind him.

waiting for you to get over the damage caused seemed pointless in his opinion. ever the efficient one, sakusa knew exactly how he wanted to go about getting you over your ex faster. he could only hope you’d cooperate with him.

the ride in the elevator with the occasional sniffle from you occupying the majority of the silence. at last, the elevator had reached below ground level and into the underground parking lot for residents to use.

you followed the man out the elevator and stayed close to him and the two of you headed over to sakusa’s reserved parking space. you heart picked up slightly upon locking your eyes onto sakusa’s car.

a matte black aston martin DB11 was parked perfectly into its designated space. the tinted windows showed you back your own reflection as you were met with the sight of your downcast face. brushing stray strands of hair out of your face, you sighed and waited for sakusa to unlock the car for you to get in.

to you, getting into the pro players car was no big deal, you were simply getting into a friends car for a casual outing. to anyone else, this would’ve been a huge deal though. nobody was allowed in sakusa kiyoomi’s car. he denied requests to drop off and pick up others and even teammates. the only exceptions from this rule were yourself and komori. nobody else.

sakusa unlocked the car and you clicked the door open on the passenger side. immediately, your nose was met with the heavy scent of air freshener and leather. the clean and polished interior never failed to impress you every time you rode with sakusa.

the outside hitter climbed into his own seat before shutting his door and waiting for you to shut your own. the leather of the seat cool under your sweats. shivers ran up your spin and the cold temperature car started up at the press of a button.

“strap in.” sakusa glanced over at you before fastening his own seatbelt and looking into the mirror to back the car up safely.

“hold still for a sec.” sakusa muttered as you felt his hand land on your shoulder as he looked back. his body close to yours, sakusa swiftly swung the car out his space as your breath hitched. why the hell did he have to get so close?

“you could’ve held the back of my seat.” you looked over at him as he revved the engine ready to speed out the exit.

“yeah you’re right, i could’ve. i just didn’t want to.” and with that, sakusa hit the acceleration and the car sped out the clear exit at high speed.

your head was thrown back and your heart fluttered at his words but you kept quiet as you tried to calm your nerves. sakusa however, looked like he was out to kill. you were just thankful the roads were clear in the late night.

his jaw tense and eyes sharp, sakusa made no mistakes as he swerved in and out of lanes so cleanly, leaving other drivers with no reason to complain.

“where are we even going?” you spoke up meekly as the man beside you pulled up at a red light. clicking his tongue in annoyance of the hold up, sakusa tilted his head to face you, his wavy mop of hair flopping back as his salient eyes met your own, throwing your heart off course.

“you’ll see.” was all he said as the light flashed amber. head snapping back to the front, sakusa revved his engine once more, hands both tightly gripped the finely stitched leather of the wheel. prominent veins running down the back of his hand, sakusa flexed his fingers before gripping the wheel once more and slamming back down on the accelerator throwing your head back into the headrest for the second time of the night.

if looks could kill, you were certain any driver in your best friends field of vision would’ve been dead at least two times over. you had no idea why he was so angry, but you’d be lying if you said you didn't find him at least slightly attractive. you just couldn't bring yourself to fully admit it though. you were fresh out of an awful break up and the heartache was still there even if sakusa was capable of effortlessly throwing you into a fit of excitement.

you gazed out the window as the car sped along the highway as pulled off the main roads and into the more separated streets. you paid no attention to where it was you were going until a wave of familiarity washed over you. your stomach tightened and your eyes flashed in fear as you quickly turned to see sakusa as focused as before, pulling into a parking space resided along the street of houses next to it.

“what the fuck kiyoomi! why are we here”

“where else would i take you?”

“oh i don't know, 7-11 maybe?!” you huffed as sakusa scrunched his face in disgust.

“that’s not going to help you get over him. this will.”

sakusa nodded towards the houses outside. more specifically, your ex's house.

“i can’t do this, i don’t need this.”

“you can and you want to don’t you?

you stared at him in disbelief as you shook your head.

“not like this, not now.”

“look at me.” sakusa demanded as his hand reached up to cup the side of your face, pulling your gaze directly onto his face.

“he’s a fucking loser. you’ve cried over him enough already and i just can’t sympathise with you anymore, show him that he fucked up.”

you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. once again, shaking your head, you pulled away from sakusa’s grip as he stared at you confused.

“how? how can i just confront him in this state? you don't understand omi! it still hurts, and i can’t just-”

“-it hurt me too. this whole time it hurt.” sakusa cut in swiftly.

“ever since you said yes to him, i couldn’t understand why it hurt until recently. maybe i should’ve been happy for you. i just couldn’t though. i don’t like him, i never did and you know what? he didn’t deserve you, but i think i do.” he confessed, expression sincere and voice clear and sharp.

“kiyoomi i-”

“-don’t answer me now. it’s not fair of me to just throw something like that at you, i’m sorry but i’m also really not. i’ve been waiting to say this. just please, don’t let yourself fall off over someone like him okay?” he turned away, one hand still firmly gripping the wheel as his other hand reached to start the engine again to drive you both back. your hand intercepted though, stopping him from starting the ignition.

“you’re right, i’m sorry. i promise i won’t so, let me prove it to you.” sakusa turned to face you and raised an eyebrow at your sudden change of attitude.

“i don’t want to cry anymore. not over him, not when i knew it was approaching sooner or later.” you admitted looking up at him. eyes glinting under the dim lights the streetlights provided through the tinted windows.

“then don’t let him make you cry anymore.” sakusa breathed out, voice taking on a soft tone.

“i’m relying on you to keep me in check then.” you whispered slowly leaning into him and letting him meet you halfway.

“well, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.” his final words muttered out as his slender fingers ran under your jawline as he tilted his head up to meet his own. eyes fluttering shut, sakusa mentally thanked whoever the fuck was looking out for him, because he’d been waiting for this moment for longer than he’d ever care to admit.

pressing his lips onto your own, sakusa’s heart ran laps as you gasped at the feeling his hands gripping your jaw tighter. humming in satisfaction, he deepened the quickly escalating kiss as he pulled you closer and closer to him. god, he just couldn't have you close enough to him.

sliding his hand down to your thighs, sakusa felt the way you had them tightly pressed together as the slow and languid kiss quickly heated with each whine he drew from your lips. growing greedy to hear more, sakusa dominated the kiss completely, teeth scraping along your bottom lip ever so gently, drawing a sharp gasp from your throat. with your lips slightly parted, sakusa slipped his tongue into your mouth groaning at your responsiveness to his actions.

pulling away, he left you gasping but gave you no time to catch your breath as his lips strayed from your own and you felt his hot breath teasing the warm skin of your neck. not wasting another moment, sakusa let his canines dance along your sensitive skin, teasing you and leaving you unaware of his every next move. finally, letting his teeth drag along your collarbone for so long, sakusa kissed, sucked and bit everywhere he had access too. he needed to mark you as his. it would give him enough mental confirmation that you were finally his and you seemed to have no obligation to this in the slightest.

“omi, i can’t-” you whined, frustration building up as the clothes you were wearing now became more and more of a bother.

“i got you princex.” sakusa grunted, shifting his body away ever so slightly.

“please!” you groaned, glaring at the now smirking man.

“whatever happened to ‘i can’t do this’?” he mocked relishing in the control he had over you.

“i didn’t think you meant this!” you whined as sakusa pulled himself off of you momentarily. looking down at your hot and bothered state he felt a wave of pride hit. he did that to you.

“backseat.” he demanded notioning behind him.

“what?” you breathed out.

“you heard. backseat.” you grumbled but obliged regardless, climbing into the backseats of the luxury car. sakusa followed suit and hovered over your aching body as you rested your head against the doors tinted window, waiting for sakusa to do something, anything.

“so obedient.” he sighed trailing his fingers along the waistband of the already loose sweats, hands slowly slipping under the material, tugging them off painfully slow, much to your impatience.

your breathing stuttered as the man pressed a soft trail of kisses along your now exposed thighs, the temperature of the car only increasing as the air got thicker and thicker.

“please.” you whispered as his kisses met the ache between your legs.

eyes lustfully looking up at you, sakusa smiled against the skin of your inner thigh, breath hitting dangerously close to where you needed his attention the most.

“since you asked so nicely.” he praised, fingers hooking under the thin waistband of your soaked through panties. pulling them down, his eyes flickered up to meet your own. a look of sincerity glinted in his eyes as you nodded at him, permitting him to grant what you both wanted, what you both needed. you wanted this as much as he did and he’d be a fool to pass up an opportunity like this. the opportunity to show you what you could’ve had from the start, none of that mattered now though. you could his now, he’d make up for all the time lost, starting with now.

gasping at the sudden feeling of his tongue dipping into your slit, sakusa’s confidence only built up knowing you were comfortable with this. the warmth of his tongue causing you squeeze your eyes shut as shivers ran up and down your spine. fully trusting himself now, sakusa worked his mouth on your clit, hungrily chasing the desperate pleads ands gasps he’d quickly grown attached to. he needed to draw more of these out of you and he’d do just that.

toying with your clit with his tongue, sakusa groaned at the feeling of your hands quickly grabbing the base of his hair, tugging him closer and closer in desperate attempts to get him to go deeper. he made it his aim to get you just as hooked onto the feeling of intimacy as he was and you seemed to be following suit perfectly.

“k-kiyoomi!” you gasped, tugging harder at the dark strands tightly gripped between your fingers. his eyes flashed up at you, an almost unreadable expression shown as he pulled away momentarily. “you’re so beautiful you know,” he sighed before moving his mouth back down to your twitching core “so fucking beautiful.” he praised as he glanced up to memorize each pleasured expression that twisted across your face. he felt so proud knowing he was the one doing this to you, only he could make your eyes roll back the way he did, only he could draw out those pretty sounds that escaped your lips. he knew he was the only one capable because he knew he was always the better choice for you, he was better than your ex in every single way and he was just relieved he was finally getting the chance to prove it to yourself.

completely encasing your core between his lips once more, he swallowed everything you gave him so selfishly, refusing to let anything go to waste and spill onto the seats, it’s not like he could let anything go to waste anyway, not when you tasted this fucking good and certainly not when you were in his clean car.

“o-omi, more!” you chanted as sakusa grunted as you felt the knot inside of you progressively tighten. firm fingers gripping your hips, sakusa curled his tongue inside of you making sure to lap up everything he got out of you. you whined and chanted sakusa’s name like a mantra as he continued to worship your body with his mouth.

“please, please, please!” you recited desperately over and over again as you felt yourself closer to the edge.

“so good for me.” sakusa praised pulling away and loosening his grip on you, your arousal coating his chin. keeping one hand firmly gripped onto your waist, he moved his other hand down for his fingers to pinch and toy with the bud as his tongue quickly dipped back into your tight pussy as you felt your high quickly chase up on you.

“f-fuck!” you cried out as you felt your back arch as the ecstasy crashed down on you. his actions didn’t stop though, as his thumb continued to circle your clit with slow but firm movements only further forcing your mind to go blank. mindless babbles dribbled out your mouth as you slowly came down from your peak, sakusa continued to let every drop of arousal spill into his mouth before he pulled away panting.

face flushed, but satisfied, he caught his own breath and waited for you to fully come back to your senses. your own breathing once again jagged, you looked up at him shyly as you leaned forward to rest your head against his.

“s-shit, i didn’t think it would go this far.” sakusa admitted, grabbing a tissue from the side compartment to wipe his face. a look of disgust flashed momentarily on his face when he saw the mess on the tissue, but silently praising himself for keeping his car free from any spills onto the plush leather seats.

you laughed breathily before fluttering your eyes shut.

“i knew coming to see you was a good idea.”

“you didn’t know this was going to happen, fuck, i didn’t even know this was going to happen. i only brought you here to confront him.” the dark haired male sighed before pulling away from you.

the two of you stayed like that for a few moments, a comfortable silence lingering in the compressed air of the car. you hadn’t verbally confirmed it yet, but sakusa knew from this moment onwards you were finally his. a blissful feeling bubbled up inside of him as he processed what had just happened.

suddenly, a loud tap on the window caused the two of you to jolt in shock as you instinctively gripped the hem of the disregarded sweats in attempts to cover your exposed body. leaning over to the front drivers seat, sakusa peered at the window and was met with the furious face of your ex. scoffing, he slid into the driver's seat and let the window roll down to come face to face with the man you called your boyfriend several hours prior to what had just happened.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” you ex spat in anger as sakusa glared back equally as bitter.

“enjoying myself.” sakusa boredly stated as your ex’s face twisted into an expression of horror upon noticing you climbing back over to the front passenger seat with your clothes now back on, but appearance definitely disheveled.

“with that bitch?” the man outside of the car hissed as sakusa blocked his view.

“first of all, that so-called bitch? mine now, should’ve been from the start actually and secondly, get your disgusting presence away from my car, i’ve already had it deep cleaned this week and thanks to you, it’s gonna have to go back to be cleaned thoroughly again.”

your ex scoffed before backing up slightly.

“whatever, get the fuck out of my parking space though, and you,” he started past sakusa and directly into your eyes. “this makes you just as bad as me now so get off your high-horse.”

“actually,” you spoke up, hand resting on sakusa’s forearm to calm his peaking rage. “it doesn’t. kiyoomi was just a friend throughout the entirety of our relationship, he should’ve been the one to have been more than that though. it was never you.” you spoke briskly and cooly as sakusa smirked beside you.

before your ex could even open his mouth, sakusa let the windows slam but up before pressing the ignition.

“let’s just get out of here, you’re tired and it’s been a long day for you.” he offered a small smile as you nodded. outside, your ex was still yelling and begging for answers as the two of you took no notice. firing the engine back up, sakusa didn’t bother looking back before slamming onto the acceleration and speeding the two of you back through the streets and onto the main highway to take you back to his apartment where the two of you had things to talk about.

there was a lot lingering in the both of your minds, but you were certain the two of you were finally on the same page.

sakusa was upset you were hurt, but it didn’t matter now. you were his and over time, he’d help build you back up again, hand in hand, he wanted to put the time and effort into you that he had been wanting to do from the very start.

there weren’t a lot of people sakusa kiyoomi allowed close to him, would go out of his way for, would even care about for that matter, but as always, each and every time, you were exempt from that.

++ TAGLIST! @crescenttooru @miss-angel-ash @sarahvvictoria @babierin @omisluvr @s0utien @toobsessedsstuff @omibaby @kenkodzu @sugabeaniee @lovesunas @slutawara @bunny-on-crack @shouyouorange @memorableminds @whootwhoot @yikes-buddy @sweetsamus

#LMAOOO I FUCKING HATE THIS #I WANNA REWRITE IT SOMETIME </3 #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #sakusa smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smut #shut up and drive series!

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squishy-mochi-is-bright-pink · 3 years

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hi! uh—sorry if this is confusing, it’s my first time making a request. uhm—i’ve just been feeling rlly down lately and was considering self harm. so, if it’s okay with u, can i request for tsukishima/sakusa/osamu (u can choose if doing all is too much) seeing their s/o with a fear of sharp objects about to self harm but not going through with it and them comforting their s/o? u dont have to do it tho if ur not comfortable with it, i just wanted to try asking :)

Characters: Tsukishima and Sakusa

CW: self harm, sharp objects

Genre: comfort

Word count: 1, 616

Summary: You've been struggling with thoughts of self harm, which then lead you to a fear of sharp objects. Your boyfriend notices and tries his best to help you.

A/n: your request wasn't confusing at all, don’t worry. So sorry I didn't get around to writing Osamu but I hope this is alright. if you ever need someone to talk to im here, or you could request as much or as little as you want. Just remember self harm isn't the answer, alright? Remember you're loved <3

Tsukishima

Okay, so even though everyone says that Tsukishima doesn’t care or isn’t a good boyfriend to you that is a big fat lie and you know it. This boy is super observant. ESPECIALLY when it comes to you.

You’re his baby and the love of his life, and one way he shows his love to you is by paying attention to everything you do and acting accordingly. He’s usually subtle about it though. You shiver? Oh, look extra hoodie. Tense up when one of your classmates approaches the two of you? Oh no something came up with the team and you’re both required to solve it.

Slight rant aside, he notices immediately that something is wrong. It may take him a little bit to figure out what exactly but he’s looking into it immediately. By the end of the day, he’s checked with your friends if anything is bothering you, he’s found out whether or not you are behind on work or if school is stressing you out. But nothing.

Luckily for him, it was Friday, thus, he was coming over to your house after school (practice). Usually, he’d come over and do some homework then you’d watch a movie together and honestly you could use some affection right now.

When he arrived at your house you were already showered, dressed and waiting at the table to start your homework. He came in and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and sat down across from you, he’d already changed into casual clothes after practice.

Tsukishima exalted deeply for the first time that day and let himself relax now that he was alone with you. He’d spent his entire day trying to figure out what was up since you’d been acting weird for a little while now and he was back to square one. Nobody he’d asked knew anything that might have upset you, and he’d asked a lot of people. More accurately he’d asked Yamaguchi to since he knew people found Tadashi less intimidating. However, he still hadn’t had any luck in narrowing down the issue.

You seemed to be focused on whatever work you where doing so he decided to do some of his own work and ask you about it during the movie. He pulled out his maths book and a pencil from his pocket to begin working on the algebra homework.

After around thirty minutes of working together with some lofi playing in the background and occasionally asking for help from one another, his pencil lead snapped in the middle of an equation. Slightly irritated, he went to his bag to retrieve a sharpener but couldn’t find his pencil case. Shit, he must have left it in his desk. Oh well, he won’t need it till Monday anyway.

“Hey, Shortcake,” that stupid nickname he’d gave’ you made you look over to him “do you have a pencil sharpener? My pencil case is at school.” At the mention of a sharpener, you squeaked out no far too quickly. Okay, somethings up. He’s sure of it now.

So he gently set down his pencil and placed one of his hands on yours. When you looked up and made eye contact you could see how concerned he looked. Though it isn’t just concern, there’s something soft and loving there too. It’s because of this that you just aren’t able to break the eye contact, even though you’d much rather check your house slippers for bits of dust.

“Baby,” he starts softly, “I know somethings up. You’ve been different for a few days now. And as long as you’ve been in my class you’ve never forgotten your stationary. Do you want to talk about it? Or we could do something else if you want.” By now there were tears beginning to slowly roll down your cheeks and Kei had gotten up to wrap you up in a hug. “Come one baby.” he says as he guides you over to the couch to sit down.

Once he had you settled in beside him he started to rub gentle circles on your back and waited patiently for you to calm down enough to talk to him. Once you had calmed down a little you began to explain everything. From the thoughts of self-harm to avoiding anything sharp or dangerous just in case. And he just sat there and listened. All the while gently rubbing circles and patterns into your back. He listened to every word you said and took it all in making sure to give little nods or hums of acknowledgement, enough to let you know he was listening without interrupting you.

When you’d finally finished telling you everything he simply scooped you up in his arms and hugged you as tight as he could. “Baby, Y/n. I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong and I’m so glad you didn’t do anything.” he gently kissed the top of your head and whispered, “I love you so much.”

You snuggled further into him and he turned the tv to your comfort movie, even if he didn’t love it or would much rather watch a documentary about dinosaurs.

Sakusa

Sakusa is another boy who people wrongly assume is a bad partner. I object. Although he is slightly more hesitant when it comes to physical affection in public he’s one of the best boyfriends you could ever ask for.

Generally, when the two of you hang out he has a routine to ensure there is no fear around germs and he can be as affectionate as he wants. You both take showers and change into freshly washed clothes when you arrive at either home before you spend time together.

Because of how naturally observant this boy is, and the number of showers he’s had to take at your house he has your shower products almost memorised. He knows what they are, what they do and where they go. Honestly when you’re running low on something he’s more likely to notice than you are. And of course, being the loving boyfriend he is, he’ll remind you to add it to your shopping list or even go shopping with you.

This mans love language is probably quality time or acts of service, so if there’s an opportunity to give you a hand or just spend time with you he’ll take it.

Today was just another day, well not exactly, Sakusa was coming to spend some time with you today, which honestly was not rare at all. You had both fallen into a steady routine of taking showers and changing before spending time together. He would never ask you to do it but you knew it made him more comfortable. Plus he far preferred your shower to the locker room one.

So as always he walks into your house, puts his bag on the table and walks to your bathroom to take a shower. When he’s in the shower he notices that your razor is missing from its normal spot. He thought that was a little bit odd. Mostly because he has never seen your razor missing before. Any time he noticed something was missing before it was always just running low on shampoo, or body wash or only having one bar of soap left.

It isn’t that weird so he just makes a note to himself to remind you about it later like he always does. Once he’s finished and changed into his favourite sweats and second favourite hoodie (you’re currently wrapped up in his favourite). He goes to your room and curls up beside you as you’re preparing to put on a movie.

By the time Sakusa had remembered what he needed to remind you of the movie had been playing for around 20 minutes. So he decides to just wait until after the movie to bring it up. With that decision made he just decides to focus on the movie and how you feel giving him cuddles.

After the movie was all finished and you and Omi where cleaning up, when he brought up the missing razor. “Hey baby, remember to add razors to your shopping list. Yours is missing” he mentioned as he placed your throw pillows back on your bed. He paused in the middle of fixing your pillows, that was not the reaction he expected. Something was up. When he turned around and saw you near tears he rushed over to check on you.

“Baby, talk to me whats wrong?” hes says in the most soothing voice he can muster when he reaches you. You dont respond, just crying a little harder and hugging him back. “Its,” you sniffled a little, “its nothing Omi. Ill be fine” you sniffled again trying desperately to pull yourself together.

Sakusa pulled out the handkerchief he kept for you in his pocket. And by the time you'd told him everything he was crying too holding you. "it's gonna be alright baby. I'm here, we're gonna get through this together."

You fell asleep holding together, knowing that you weren't alone. And wouldn't be as long as you have him and he isn't leaving any time soon

#haikyuu comfort #haikyuu fluff #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #sakusa x you #sakusa drabble #sakusa comfort #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei #sakusa kiyoomi #tsukishima hcs #sakusa hcs

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bunny-script · 3 years

Text

Not a date pt.1 ~ Spencer Reid x reader

Summary: Y/n and Spencer are inseperable, they're best friends. And they're in love with each other. Problem is, neither of them know about the others feelings. So it's not a date. Or is it ? (basically a really long build-up to something that may or may not be a date depending on who you ask.)

Wordcount: 1342

A/N: omg omg first part of "not a date" !! its part of the reason I created this account ! The idea has been inhabiting my brain for a while but I didn't have a place for it. Anyways this is terribly written, my apologies. Feedback, likes and reblogs are obviously very welcome. Thank you so much for reading, have an incredible day and enjoy ! - bunny

warnings: not that I can think of, if you need me to trigger warn anything please let me know !!

Standing up from her desk in the bullpen, Y/n stretched her arms out and cringed at just how loudly her back cracked, before gathering her paperwork and putting it onto a neat pile at the edge of her desk, rearranging the little fidget toys and pictures in her workspace to be in correct order again and throwing the strap of her purse over her shoulder.

She spotted Penelope in the break room kitchen and skipped over to her blonde, brightly coloured friend. Grabbing an energy drink from the fridge, she turned around to be met by her amused eyes.

“What?” Y/n questioned before bringing the sickly sweet carbonated caffeine bomb to her lips.

“Nothing… Just seem a little more excited than usual ‘s all. Could that be because of her ‘not date’ with boy wonder today ?” Penelope teased.

“God, Pen, It’s not a date!” She responded in a hushed voice. And it wasn’t. Not really, at least.

Truth is, Spencer and Y/n were head over heels for each other, and when your closest friends and colleagues are behavioural profilers, it was only a matter of time until everyone found out. And eventually, they all did. Except Spencer and Y/n of course, those two were still so deep in denial they would only scoff and nervously laugh whenever someone made the mistake of assuming the two were a couple. Only to lay awake in the motel room that night, thinking, dreaming ‘what if’.

But honestly, who could blame those people? The pair have been best friends and basically inseparable ever since Y/n joined the BAU around four years ago. They instantly clicked. Constantly touching someone, holding their hand or flat outsitting on each other might give outsiders the wrong impression.

They’d take the same lunch break and go out for coffee together, share rooms on cases, constanly talk on the phone or text each other.

They had sleepovers more times than they cared to admit.

Spencer’s apartment was filled with Y/n’s things, she had a toothbrush there, clothes, her own shampoo and conditioner, for gods sake he even emptied out a drawer in his dresser for her and hung up an extra hook next to his front door for Y/n to hang up her go-bag.

It wasn’t just Y/n inhabiting Spencer’s apartment though, the same deal went for him in her apartment. Only that Spencer is clingy and hates leaving her company for any reason, so the amount of books she never even read, that have been sitting in her bookshelves for so long...She really didn’t know how many there were.

So yeah, it was safe to say the two were inseperable.

Around a year ago during girls night, Y/n decided to come clean to her friends and tell them about her feelings for their resident genius. They all knew obviously. Everyone knew, except for Spencer, which she was incredibly grateful for.

They had all tried to subtly tell her that they knew for a fact he was in love with her too without directly saying “hey actually he confessed to Derek a while back” but she didn’t believe them.

“Okay cut the crap, we both know this isn’t just you two hanging out like you usually do. I dont have to be a profiler to know that, because I know Reid and I know you like the back of my hand. You’ve been fidgety and jittery all day and we both know he loves this dress you’re wearing, little miss “we’re just friends.””

The first time he’d seen the dress on her was two years ago when he opened the door to his apartment after hearing a knock only to find her outside, dressed in a soft, flowy sundress that suited her perfectly.

“You look lovely!” he blurted out instead of “hello” and earned a laugh from her and his neighbour who had just walked up the stairs behind Y/n. “Not so bad yourself, looking quite hot in that cardigan, Spence. Is it new?” She responded as she came in and put the grocery bags she brought down on his kitchen counter.

He blushed at the blunt compliment and helped her unload the ingredients for the dinner they had planned on making for the team. “No. I just haven’t worn it in a while. You? The dress, I mean.” Spencer explained and heard her say “Yes, I just bought it.”

At the end of that night when Y/n, Penelope and Derek were just about to leave, a tipsy Spence told her she should wear it more often.

She wanted to, but only found barely a handful of occasions to wear it after that night.

“It’s not for him. Can’t a girl wanna look pretty without an interrogation?” Y/n lied and excused herself to go and get Spencer. She found him still hunched over his desk, his two pointer fingers typing away on his computer.

“Hey, you ready to go?” Y/n asked as shecame up and hugged him from behind.

“Yeah, just another minute. Almost done with my report.” he quickly said in the most controlled tone he could muster.

Spencer had always had a problem with physical touch. He just didn’t like it, every fact he knew about the exchanging of germs screaming at him to not shake other peoples hands. And Y/n was no exception. At first. After they had grown closer and gotten to know each other, he let her hug him a few times. And it was like something in him just clicked. There was no yelling in his head, no fear of germs or letting someone get close.

He wanted her closer and closer, so when one morning hewoke up from one of their sleepovers and she was still sound asleep and snuggled into him, he embraced it with open arms. Literally. He slipped his arms around her and went back to sleep.

After that, it was all he thought about for days. The way her arms wrapped around his torso, her entire face nuzzled into his chest, her hand firmly pressed into his waist. She looked peaceful, so warm and content. Like they had been doing this for centuries. She felt so right in his arms and he never wanted to let her go. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Y/n’s legs tangled with his own that morning and how genuinely right and exciting it felt. Like a firework he didn’t know he was looking forward to finally going off.

And then it happened again a few weeks later, only this time she had woken up before him and found herself being spooned by Spencer.

To her it felt like contentment, finally being at peace with a situation she didn’t know how to feel about. Like finding herself in a field of flowers after wandering through confusing tunnels with only a candle to light her way.

At first, neither of them talked about it, just enjoying it whenever it happened and pretending to be asleep, desperately trying to stay like that forever.

Until one night when they were watching a horror movie. No matter how well she usually did or didn’t handle horror movies, this one terrified her. Unbeknownst to her, Spencer was just as scared as she was, so on one particularly bad jumpscare, they hid their face in the other persons shoulder.

They both laughed and instantly relaxed, just giggling at each other until the credits rolled. After that, he just pulled her into his arms and they went to sleep like that.

But that was ages ago, by now they’re so used to each others constant touch, holding onto the other persons arm, cuddling to fall asleep and laying her head in his lap while he stroked her hair so she could fall asleep on the jet.

But that didn’t mean her touch didn’t make him nervous, sent his head spinning and made his entire body flood with warmth and shivers.

Because it did, and he never wanted her to stop giving him that feeling.

#spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #slow burn #friends to lovers #spencer reid friends to lovers #SO MUCH PINING OMG #theyre so in love #so many italics help #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader fluff

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sckyie · 4 years

Text

song: where were you in the morning? by shawn mendes

word count: 1.2k

genre + warnings: friends to lovers kinda; swearing, established friendship, morning after, suggestive [ no smut ], also DONT HAVE DRUNK SEX.

pronouns used: female insert (she/her)

a/n: first part of the haikyuu song series :)

Your cheek were warm as you entered Sakusa's apartment. If it weren't for the alcohol in both of your systems, he wouldn't let you near him. You held his hand as you followed him into his bedroom. Sakusa closed the door behind you, pinning you against the wall. "I wanna get to know you better," He says. You feel his warm breathe against you before he crashes his lips into yours. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yes," You smiled as he trailed his hand to your back. Both your lips, moving in sync as you made your way to his bed. His hand began to roam your body as you landed on the sheets. "Omi are you sure?"

"Definitely," He says as his mouth connected with your neck.

After the two of you finish, you two laid beside each other on the bed. The room was warm from your heat and all you could do was admire Sakusa beside you. He reached over and combed your hair. "I was drunk when we started but," He sighed. "I'm not anymore."

"You're so pretty," As you were still a little tipsy, you smiled at his touch. "I thought you didn't like germs."

"I hate germs but...something about you, I'm okay with," He smiled. "I trust you."

"Hehe, you like me," You giggled. Sakusa rolled his eyes as he pulls you closer to him. You lay on his chest, drawing shapes on his naked body. "Does this mean we can have breakfast together?"

"Do you want to?" He chuckled at your drowsy proposal.

"Yeah," You yawned. "We can make pancakes, eggs, bacon.."

"Don't get my hopes up," Kiyoomi chuckled. "Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I work every morning," You groaned. "I wish I could stay here forever."

Kiyoomi laughed at your tipsy antics and began to comb your hair with his fingers. The night continued with your pillow talk, mostly making bold statements. Sakusa found your post-sex talk rewarding. He could tell he made you happy and you made him feel over the moon.

"You know I've never felt this- this- amazing with person in so long," You smiled. "Thank you Omi."

"Glad to be the one who made you feel this way," He chuckled.

"Thank you," You say. Your voice began to drift as you slowly fell asleep in his arms.

It was an odd feeling for Kiyoomi. He never let anyone touch him, not even his teammates. Having someone so close and so intimate with him was strange to him. He looks down at your naked body, pulling the blanket to cover you up. "Goodnight," He smiled. He kisses your forehead before falling asleep.

The sun began to rise hours later, the light shining through the blinds. You awaken to see the glistening lights hit your eyes. As your eyes fluttered open, you noticed yourself naked in a different bed. You looked over to see Sakusa's back facing you.

Your cheeks flushed red and you pulled the blanket up to cover your torso. You looked around to find your dress and undergarments on the floor. You quietly slipped out of bed and into the bathroom, grabbing your clothes on the way.

You examine your body, noticing the red marks littered along your chest and sides. You hide your face at the sight before quickly getting dressed. Quietly, you exit the bathroom to see Sakusa still deep asleep. "Sorry Omi," You say. You carefully leave the bedroom to head home.

"Shit, we took an uber home," You realized at the doorstep. "Fuck."

You ended up calling Hinata to pick you up and drop you off. You explained to him your mistake and how you hooked up with Sakusa. Hinata was shocked that he even let you touch him.

While you were on your way home, Sakusa was just waking up to an empty bed. He pinches his nose as he realized that you had left him alone. "She really left?" He grumbled. Sakusa dreaded getting up from bed but proceeded regardless.

As he entered the bathroom, he noticed something on the floor. It must've fell out your jacket because why would you leave your work ID card? He picked it up before turning on the shower.

Sakusa after his shower, he felt a pain on his back. He turned in the mirror to see scratches all over. He grazed the marks with his finger tips, wincing at the sore feeling. "Damn," He muttered. His phone began to ring from his bedside table.

"Hello? Omi-kun?" Atsumu answered.

"What do you want?"

"Oh just wanted to see how you were doing. You and Y/n were very drunk."

"I'm fine, I don't know about her. Thanks for checking in."

"You sound disappointed, everythin' okay?"

"Yeah, she just left me in the morning alone."

"Wait what?!" Atsumu exclaimed. "Did you two-"

"Yes, 'Sumu. We did," Kiyoomi rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"Oh my god- wait she ditched you? Was it bad?"

"No..." He began to think about last night. "It was more than just good actually."

"Oh, damn. Well, what are yer going to do now?"

"I'm going to her work to talk to her, and give back her ID card. I'll see you at practice later."

"Okay Omi! See you soon," Atsumu ends the call, leaving Sakusa to get ready to leave.

You had gotten ready for work after a long shower. You dragged your feet out the house and into your car to drive to work. It was a quiet ride on the way to the office and all you could think of was last night.

It wasn't that you regretted it, last night was amazing. The connection between you and Sakusa grew stronger yet you were too afraid to face him. Once you arrived at your work, you noticed a familar masked figure waiting for you out front. Your cheeks flushed red as you approached the entrance.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, avoiding eye contact.

"This," He flashes your work ID card.

"Oh, thanks," You reach out for the card but he holds it above his head.

"Where were you in the morning?" He asks. "You left me without a warning. Did I do something?"

"I-" You stopped and felt him bring your chin up with his fingers. "I was scared. Even now I am.."

"Why?" He pulled his hand away.

"You never touch anyone and I don't know if you meant what you said last night," You explained. "I was scared that you'd be freaked with me next to you. So if I left first.."

"You didn't have to face me," He finished your sentence. Sakusa hands you your ID card as he pulls off his mask. He brings his face close to yours before speaking. "I meant what I said."

"Oh, I-" You were cut off by Sakusa pressing his lips against yours. "I'm sorry Omi...for leaving."

"Make it up to me later today then," He stands up straight and adjusted his mask. "After practice, come to my apartment again. You owe me a meal."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu x you #hq x you #haikyuu imagines #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu sakusa #hq sakusa #sakusa imagines #hss; sckyie playlist

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kibybun · 4 years

Text

Soap

Tw: gore, poison, torture, Stockholm syndrome, non con/rape

You cry as the inside of your mouth bleeds. You try your best to wipe it away, afraid of the punishment you'd receive for being dirty. You cry harder as you hear footsteps above you. It wasnt your fault your mouth hadn't stopped bleeding since you scrubbed your gums raw. You just didnt want your mouth to be dirty.

You stand on shakey legs and wobble to the little sink in the corner of the large basement. You hold onto the smooth porcelain and grab your toothbrush and gently start to brush circles on your teeth. The sharp bristles stab your soft gums causeing more whimpers and blood to ooze out from your lips.

"You missed a spot."

You jump but stay in place, refusing to look at him. You hadn't realized he came down here and was watching you.

"Here. Let me help."

He reaches to grab your toothbrush but you flinch away. He looks hurt but that doesn't stop him from yanking your wrist towards him.

"Please (y/n). I just want to make you clean." You body teses at that word.

Clean. Something your captor strives to make you and yet you'll never be it.

You yelp as he pushes the toothbrush harshly against your gums. He freezes before removing it from your mouth.

"Just be sure to get all the filth off of them." He slowly walks but up the stairs.

You shudder in relief and the cold. You slowly start to brush your teeth as you try to gain more warmth. He always said the cold killed germs. He also didnt want you sweaty and gross. You understand that's why he doesnt let you have a blanket, he just doesn't want you to be too hot and start to sweat. If you started to sweat your skin would get scrubbed raw. You didnt want that.

You let out a shakey breathe before placing your toothbrush down and looking up at the spot the mirror used to be. You shudder remembering why your mirror got removed.

Your attitude was repulsive back then. When he first brought you here, you tried so hard to escape but once you figured out it wouldn't work you thought of new ways to make him mad.

You were brushing your teeth, back when they were strong and not bleached, and you smeared toothpaste on the mirror. You knew Keigo hated messes and germs, but it didnt stop you. He came down the stairs and saw the mirror. You can see the panic and anxiety rise within him as he slowly steps towards you. You wanted to have more fun. You give him a wicked smirk and stuck your tounge out, licking the mirror.

That's when he lost it.

His fist was sent flying towards the mirror as he screamed. How could you contaminate yourself like that? You cover your ears as his screaming was making your ears ringing. While doing this you fail to notice the large share of glass he grabbed. He grabs your face and forcefully pries your mouth open. You try to claw at his hands as you feel the corners of your mouth rip. You fail to stop the glass shard from entering your mouth and start digging into your tounge.

"STOP SCREAMING OR I'LL CUT YOUR VOCAL CORDS TOO!" You comply, silently whimpering and choking on your own blood as your tounge was cut down the middle.

You swallow the lump in your throat and move away from the sink. You were happy to still have your tounge, you even learned how to move both sides separately, but you dont like having a minor lisp.

You sit in the corner right next to the stairs. Right there was some warmth but not enough to make you sweat. You curl up and try to doze off but cant as you hear steps on the stair.

Over the railing you see him looking at you. You give him a quick glance before looking at the floor. He sighs, making it the rest of the way to crouch in front of you.

"Please look at me, I'm sorry for what I said before." You only tense hearing him speak.

You were looking at his wings one day and apparently he didnt like that. He yelled at you saying how dirty your gaze was, how he felt repulsed knowing you were looking at him. He then poured vinegar in you left eye, leaving everything permanently blurry.

Your eyes blur with tears as you resist looking at him. You loved him and wanted nothing more than to just admire him but you didnt want to soil his beauty with your gross eyes.

"Please?" His voice was gentle and pleading.

You couldn't see him in pain, so you slowly look at him with a small smile on your face. You just wanted him to be happy, and you'll try your best to give it to him even if you're filthy. His face seems to light up ever so slightly.

"C'mon, let's go eat!" He offers you a hand but you decline it. You arent clean enough for that yet.

The two of you stand and he leads up up the stairs. You make it to the top of the stairs and he closes it behind you.

Instantly you're hit with a wave of warmth. You'd never admit it but it felt like pure bliss but you knew you couldn't stay up here long. Filth like you didnt belong in the light.

You hear a soft click behind you but you dont dare to look.

He proceeds to lead you to the small wooden table in the kitchen. He pulls out a chair for you to sit, and you comply knowing that he had compulsively cleaned it right before you arrived. You know this because he made you clean this table so many times. You remember having to sit on your knees and scrub the furniture so it was clean for him to sit.

You'd do it again for him because he deserves it.

He walks around for a second before setting down a bowl of soup in front of you. You stare at it before speaking.

"Bleach?"

He sighs defeated before sitting next to you.

"Bleach isnt good for you."

Liar.

He used to preach about how you needed to drink it to be clean in his standards. But he had the audacity to scold you when you tried to drink it from the bottle to clean yourself for him.

You gently push the bowl away, still avoiding eye contact. You can feel his eyes staring you down but he refuses to do anything.

He used to force feed you, shoving the utensil down your throat, then he'd make you puke saying how dirty scum like you didnt deserve it. At least you lost that weight you didnt want.

"Can you please eat? You need something, anything in your stomach right now."

No. You didnt deserve him, you didnt deserve this. You were a disgusting bottom feeder that need to be cleaned. You slowly stand and start walking towards the basement door.

"Please (y/n), I can make you something else to eat." He sounds upset.

You stop and slowly look back at him. You tried to reassure him without speaking but somehow it seemed to backfire. He starts to stand but you dart to the door, not giving him a chance to grab you.

Your hands wrap around the handle and try to turn it, only to fail. You start to panic.

Its too hot up here, you'll start to sweat, you dont want your skin scrubbed, you didnt want him to pour hand sanitizer on you to clean your wounds.

"Hey, it's ok. You can stay up here." His voice makes you jump.

"No."

You wanted to go back to your cold sanctuary.

"Its not good for you down there. Stay up here with me."

Liar.

Liar liar liar. He said that down there was the bet place for you, even if you passed out due to the cold. When you'd pass out he'd take that opportunity to love you. You'd slowly wake up to him forcing himself in and out of you.

It hurt so bad.

He'd say how he brought you back to life and how much he loved you. Why did he stop? Does he not love you anymore?

You jump as his hand falls into your shoulder, shaking you out of your thoughts.

"Let's go bathe, we can take one together?" You eagerly shake your head yes.

Not only did you get to bathe with your love but this time he wouldn't put bleach in the tub! It's also a bonus seeing his face beam at you.

He leads you upstairs to the bathroom connected to his room. It's been awhile since you've been in here. He starts to fill up the tub, knowing that the shower head would hurt your damaged skin.

You stand there, awkward. You want to say something, anything. Mainly you want to say his name, but fear prevented you from doing so.

The last time you said his name was when you were trying to tell him to love him. He cut you off saying how you weren't allowed to soil his name with your filthy mouth. He scrubbed your mouth out with a bar of soap after.

"H-hey...." You can tell your voice startled him.

He sighs and looks over his should and wing at you.

"You can say my name you know."

You cant do that. You dont like the taste of the lavender soap he owns.

He notices your discomfort before speaking again. "You dont have to but I'd like it if you did."

He stops the water and starts to undress. You blush. It's been awhile since you got to see him so exposed.

You sneak glances, mainly staring at his wings. They are so beautiful in your opinion. It always amazes you how he slips his wings in and out of his shirt.

"Hehe like what you see?" You flinch and look at the ground, face burning. "Ah you can look at me if you want. I love knowing you like what you see!"

You hear the water splosh a little.

"C'mon, before the water gets cold."

You slowly start to strip, knowing if you didnt he'd come and do it himself.

You feel his eyes travel your body, leaving your skin hot and flustered. Stop. You're not allowed to feel this. You're trash, disgusting. Stop ruining his eyes.

You try to cover yourself as you walk to the tub.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?"

Liar.

He told you you'd never be beautiful.

You ignore him as you step into the tub, slowly sitting with your back towards him. You tense as his arms snake around your waist and pull you towards him, back flush against his chest.

"Please look at me... please say my name... I miss hearing your voice.."

Liar.

He said your voice was the worst sound in the world... but he was sad. He wanted to hear you. Maybe he wont punish you if you did it because he said so.

You wiggle in his grasp to turn and look at him. He had the cutest little smile as he looked into your eyes.

After a minute he gently leads your head to rest against his chest, hand slowly stroking your hair, and planting kisses on your head.

This was heavenly. He was never so gentle and caring. You must've been so good to earn this.

You decide to push it and hug him.

Hug him tightly, afraid of the pain to be inflicted on you, but you do it nonetheless. He seems startled but gladly hugs you back, almost as tightly.

You both know that this tenderness will not last, both of you only hold on tighter, afraid of the aftermath.

He uses on arm to softly clean you. You flinch everytime his hand touches you but you soon start to cherish the feeling.

Once he's done cleaning you, you slowly move from his grasp and start to wash him. Your hands shake as they gently trail down his chest and shoulders. He seems so ecstatic that you were touching him, not trying to scratch his skin off.

You hesitate to try and touch his wings but he grabs your wrist and leads it to his left wing. He laughs at how your face lights up. His feathers are so soft, so beautiful.

The two of you stay there, in that moment, holding each other.

He stands and holds you up with him. Instantly the cold attacks you and he holds you closer. He wraps you in a fluffy towel, as well as himself, and leads you to his bedroom. You stand next to the bed as he searches through the closet for clothes for you.

"Here, they're a pair of your old clothes." He holds out clothes for you to take but you refuse them.

You were even dirtier back then and you dont want to where clothes that were contaminated by past you.

"Well, what are you gonna wear?"

"Your clothes?" You freeze. You didnt mean to say that. You wish you hadn't said that. Now he'll probably force you to wear a garbage bag, he's done it before.

"R-really? I got a blue shirt, you still like blue right?" His voice was excited as he dug through his wardrobe to a smaller shirt for you.

You put on undergarments and take the dark blue shirt from his hand. It was big on you but you liked it because it smelled like him. It came down mid thigh level and had to slits in the for his wings.

As he gets dressed you crawl onto the bed. You knew filth like you didnt deserve to lay on the bed, he told you that himself, but today you were pushing your luck with everything.

"Do.... do you want to spend the night in here with me?" It wasnt an invitation for sex but to share the same room, same bed even. You eagerly nod.

You want to be held in his arms again. To feel safe and not cold and alone. He slowly sits next to you on the bed, scared to make any move. You timidly hold onto him. He gratefully holds you closer.

"I... I love you... Keigo...." He goes silent and you feel his body shudder. You look up at him and feel a tear fall onto your face. "Why....?"

"Because I've waited so long to hear you say that." He pulls you closer and holds you tighter.

Why? You tried so many times to tell him the words in your heart but he always silenced you before you had the chance. So why now?

"I love you so much (y/n)."

No.

No no no no.

That's wrong.

Why is it wrong? You're supposed to get butterflies in your stomach but all you feel is vile bubbling. Why does your name feel... so dirty coming from Keigo, your love?

Is it because..

He's dirty?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You wake up wrapped in Keigo's arms. This should feel good but to you it just feels wrong.

You gently try and wake him, desperate to get away from him. He grumbles and rolls over. Normally he'd be awake on patrol but you guess he has today off.

You slowly slip out of bed and walk downstairs. Past you would use this chance to run but you'd never leave your love... that's what you hope atleast. Now you contemplate it.

You walk into the kitchen and look around trying to think about what to make for breakfast. You decide in eggs. You havent cooked in, what you think is, months and you didnt want to try to make anything too hard.

You crack the egg but almost all the shell ends up in the pan. You grumble and try to find the trash can. You're surprised to find it under the sink.

After throwing out the egg, you move the trash can and look at what's under the sink. There you find an abundance of cleaning products. Bleach, disinfect wipes, dishwasher tabs, vinegar, window cleaner, hand sanitizer, you name it.

But there were two things that caught your eye. Rope and rat poison. You grab both.

You hide the rope on one of the two chairs at the table and carry the rat poison to the stove.

You crack more eggs onto the pan, with fewer shells making it to the pan, and pour a generous amount of the poison in with it. You quickly hide the rat poison back and continue cooking.

You dont understand why you did it, but it just felt right.

You put the semi under cooked and burnt eggs on a plate for him. Right as you did so he runs down stairs panicked.

"Goodmorning Keigo!" You made your voice chipper and excited to mask the gross feeling spreading through you.

Why?

He visibly calms down and walks towards you. He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you waist, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

You were repulsed. He touched made you squirm, it didnt feel right. It didnt feel like heaven like yesterday, it felt toxic.

"You didnt have to make breakfast (y/n)."

You almost gag.

"I wanna get back into cooking. Here!" You hand him his plate. "I made it just for you!"

You can tell he doesnt want to eat it but you persuade him by smiling oh so sweetly. He takes it and goes to sit down.

He almost sits down on the chair that holds your plan but decides against it. Your heart hammers through your chest as you lean against the counter and watch him.

"Hehe what are you doing? Come sit with me!"

"But what if you want more? I wanna be ready to make them!" You didnt recognize your own voice. It was too happy, too coated in honey.

Keigo chuckles at your antics before taking a bite of the meal you made him.

You can tell he's repulsed but he continues to eat it as you give him a cutesy look. He finishes his plate and his face is far paler than when he woke up.

"Do you want more?" You kept your voice excited and cute to help pull off your plan.

"Uh.. No thanks..."

"Was... was it not good?" You watch as panic floods his face.

"N-no! It was delicious! I'm just not feeling well."

"Oh.. ok."

"(Y/n) what's wrong?" He tries to stand but falls to the floor due to his wobbly legs.

You cant hide your wicked smile as Keigo groans and clutches his stomach. He doesn't notice you grab the rope from the chair but he does notice that you've suddenly straddled him.

"(y/n)... what are you doing?"

"Dont say my name. You're too dirty."

You tightly wrap the rope around his neck and hands, not tight enough to kill him but tight enough to limit the oxygen intake to make sure he cant think straight. For example; he could easily cut the rope with his feathers but he's in too much pain and has to focus really hard on breathing.

"(y/n)...."

"What did I just say?"

"(y/n)...."

"If you dont listen I'll make you." You stand and collect the need tools.

You grab the bar of soap on the counter, the knife block with all the knives, and numerous cleaning products from under the sink.

It was your turn to clean him.

He watches fearfully as you grab a knife and twirl it between your fingers and straddle him again.

"All this time I thought you were so clean and pure... turns out you were the filthy one."

You stab the knife though his wing, through where you knew the bone would be. He let's out a strangled scream due to the rope.

"Shhh, or I'll cut out your vocal cords."

You grab another knife and do the same to his other wing. He screams again and you've had enough. You grab a third knife and pry his mouth open. You slowly dig the tip of the knife through his tounge and drag it out, cutting his tounge in half like yours. He let's out pitiful whimpers as he gaggles out blood. His eyes leak tears as you watch them fill with fear.

You dont blame him. You know his blood splattered onto your face, you know you were smiling like crazy, you know that tears were also falling down your face. You didnt know why that was happening.

You loved him so it hurt watching him in pain but it felt so good watching him suffer.

Next you grab a sponge and start scrubbing the stubble on his face with the rough side. He releases more pitiful sounds as he tries to move his head away. You fill your fist with his hair and slam his head back so you can finish your work.

Keigo could most definitely over power you but he cant think straight right now.

After you finished scrubbing his skin and hair off you sit back and admire you work. He looks so helpless.

"P-please..." His words strangled and barely audible.

"Ah ah ah! You should listen more." You grab the bar of soap, which still had your teeth imprint on it, and shove it in his mouth. "I hope you like lavender~!"

He gags and tries to spit it out but you only push it farther down his throat.

You grab the bottle of vinegar and slowly twist off the cap. Once off you lean in real close to his face and pry open he left eye lid. You watch as his pupil darts around in panic as you slowly pour vinegar into his eye socket. You laugh as he let's out a muffled scream.

"I dont see the point in you screaming, no one with hear you. Even if they did, why would they help something so disgusting as you? You're filthy. So dirty. No one will love you because you are disgusting garbage."

bIt was almost like reciting a script that he wrote for you in your head.

You gently kiss one of his tears, tasteing the salty and vinegary flavor. "I'll leave your other eye for now. I want you to see what I do next."

You sit up and grab the knife again. Slowly you carve into his bare chest. He never did this to you but he had threatened it.

You carve the word dirty across his chest.

You remove the knife and grab something else.

Hand sanitizer.

His eyes bulge and he tries to silently convince you no but it only encourages you. You squirt a dollop into the deep cut and watch Keigo arch his back and try to scream. You add a dollop to each letter them some to your finger tips. You slowly insert your fingers into his chest and start rubbing the sanitizer around the muscle.

His sounds of helplessness sparks so much joy within you, how could you possibly stop now?

You continue for every letter before sitting back again to say a few words.

"I do love you, just I need to make you clean. You see, I was clean from the beginning and you were trying to contaminate me. Now let me fix you."

You give him a sickeningly sweet smile before standing. You hand wraps around the bleach bottle. He watches you flick off the cap and circle him.

"Red is such a filthy color."

You pour the contents of the bottle onto his right wing, then his left. It had no effect at first but slowly the burning sensation started. You watched him try to get the bleach off his wings, but all he did was spread it. His once deep red feathers slowly start to turn pink, then white.

You step onto his gut with a heavy foot and look down at him.

"I think I'm going to have a lot of fun cleaning you, my little dove~."

Kiby~💚

#mha keigo takami #my hero academia keigo takami #keigo tamaki #keigo x reader #bnha keigo #yandere keigo #hawks x reader #mha hawks #yandere hawks #hawks #bnha hawks #hawksbnha #yandere x reader #yandere

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hellishvu · 5 years

Text

Imagine BTS: taking care of you when you’re sick but you’re stubborn

— keke this was fun to make! honestly i can relate to this because i am so skfkskfk stubborn when i’m sick it’s like satan took over me, but thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy this more silly imagine !

Kim Namjoon: ˚✧₊⁎

You’ve been sick for a good 3 days and you didn’t want to admit it because you couldn’t afford to get Namjoon sick. So you slept on the couch and pretended that you only slept on it because you “passed out” watching youtube.

Once he came downstairs early in the morning he saw you sleeping, he gave you a kiss on the forehead before going to the kitchen when he suddenly heard coughing like you were dying coughing. Namjoon peeked out to see you coughing in your sleep even being enough to make you wake up.

“Hey are you okay? Are you sick?.” Namjoon said in a concern tone making another cup of tea to help your throat. You groaned covering yourself in the blanket to shield the painful bright sunlight from your eyes that were used to the dark.

“I take that as a yes.” Namjoon claimed before setting the tea down on the end table laying on the couch with you in his arms. You whine trying to push him away almost making him fall off the couch.

“Namjoon you’re just gonna get yourself sick.” Your voice was hoarsely the sore throat finally attacking your voice.

“Huh? I cant hear you. All I know is to cuddle my handsome boyfriend.” Namjoon’s voice was soft spoken not wanting to hurt your head more. You accepted the cuddles but not without a little stubbornness of telling him to think about the consequences.

Kim Seokjin: ˚✧₊⁎

Seokjin woke up seeing you sniffing near a pile of used napkins that he probably shouldn’t touch just imagining the amount of germs. Seokjin rolled over towards you on the bed wrapping his hands around your waist rubbing his face on your back, you groaned clearing your throat as you thought about the last time you could breath without mucus disrupting it.

“Why don’t I make you a good ol soup?” Seokjin asks making you lay back to bed nodding no, wrapping yourself in blankets because it felt like you were in Antarctica.

“Jinnie can you pass me one of your really furry coats?” You croaked from the depths of sick hell. The reaction on Seokjin’s face when you called him “Jinnie” that meant business! You were in crisis and he came to help.

Seokjin gave you the coat before leaving to the kitchen to make you some microwaveable soup so it doesn’t take too long to prepare. Seokjin walked back in the room hearing sneezing and some more sniffing.

“Here have some soup.” Seokjin places the soup on the end table seeing your reaction of smelling it which lead to disgust since food didn’t seem appealing at the moment.

“You don’t want the soup?” Seokjin titled his head stirring the soup causing you to turn away from Seokjin.

“My boyfriend is so mean~ didn’t want my soup~ now i’m in the coop~ maybe he’s an asshole~ but that’s too bad because i love him~” Seokjin sang making you giggle underneath the sheets, seeing Seokjin proud that he can lower your pain even to a minimum.

Min Yoongi: ˚✧₊⁎

When Yoongi woke up in the middle of the night still seeing you on your phone sometimes grunting of the horrible headache you had. The phone was probably not helping your head at all but you tried to keep your grunts quiet but Yoongi was wide awake once he woke up from his slumber.

“I feel horrible.” You groaned turning off your phone wrapping yourself more in blankets. Yoongi got up from laying down using the pillow for support seeing your face puffy and eyes dry from staring at the phone for so long.

“Why dont you drink some night quill?” Yoongi asked caressing your arm trying to comfort you even if it was only mentally.

“It tastes gross. My body can recover by itself.” You whines blowing yourself a tissue before Yoongi looked at you like “are you serious?”

“Are you 5? Take some baby.” Yoongi walked to the kitchen despite your cries of telling him you’re fine. Yoongi came back with night quill and some cap filled with the disgusting purple acid.

“Take the medication.”

“No.”

“Take it.”

“No it tastes gross.”

“I’ll give you cuddles.” Yoongi smirked as you shamefully grabbed the cap drinking it as quick as possible. It wasn’t long before disgust was all over your face.

Jung Hoseok: ˚✧₊⁎

Throughout the entire century that you have been sick. You have complained about it being cold then warm then back to cold. Hoseok was probably running in circle trying to please you. He didn’t mind it but of course he wanted to rip his hair out sometimes.

You two were cuddling even though you two probably shouldn’t. You coughing away from him so the chances of getting him sick went from 100% to 99%. Hoseok saw you fidget with the blankets taking it off of you and then gripping at it to warm yourself up.

“Are you cold?” Hoseok asks while you nod. Hoseok turned up the AC to go warmer seeing your pleasant face but that only lasted so long before you took the blankets making Hoseok to pause the movie.

“It’s too hot.”

“Okay I’ll turn it back to normal.” Hoseok announces hearing the clicks of the AC going down. You smiled cuddling next to him once again.

“It’s too cold now.” You were hesitant to say because you didn’t want to be a bother to Hoseok due to him dealing with you so much. Hoseok smiles at you when he looks at you.

“Why don’t you wear my hoodie and then I can give you a lighter blanket.” Hoseok got up taking off his hoodie showing a peek of his stomach, you felt your health go back to perfectly normal! Hoseok gave you it while he looks in the closet for a lighter blanket without a shirt on.

“Stop staring.” Hoseok announces making you to stutter before going back to watching the movie.

Park Jimin: ˚✧₊⁎

Jimin has been your errand boy since you got sick, blankets? He got it. Medication? He’s on it! You enjoyed the little videos and photos he sent to you while on the adventures of going to the store. Sometimes in the middle of the night or in the early morning. He didn’t complain about it because he knew you would do the same for him, you have!

“J-Jimin.” You rolled towards him having a vomit trash can right next to your bedside. The things Jimin does for you is insane but that’s love. From the pretty to the nastiest parts of it.

“What is it?” Jimin asked urgently caressing your back while you wiped your tears. Jimin got up grabbing his wallet already to get more anti-vomíters that what he likes to call them.

Jimin go in the car in just a few minutes after you requested that you got him something, it was the normal item that helped you feel better when you got sick. Jimin got in the store with a large hoodie that was yours, thankfully it didn’t smell like vomit. Jimin waved at the cashier before looking through the isles of stuff.

Jimin bought it walking out with only the receipt and the item because #savetheearth. Jimin heard a ding from his phone seeing that you wanted something else. Jimin looked back in the gas station feeling embarrassed before entering it once again.

“Welcome back.”

The shy wave he gave the cashier walking pass him once again. You finally sent him a text of a thank you with a heart , which lead all of Jimin’s embarrassment to go away even if he carried two recipients.

Kim Taehyung: ˚✧₊⁎

“You shouldn’t go to the rehearsal, seeing how sick you are.” Taehyung embraces you while you are laying in bed whining that you couldn’t go with him. You had another plan up your sleeve, while you see Taehyung waving at you taking off to his rehearsal.

Maybe it was a little chaotic to go anyway, but you never were the obedient type when you were sick. You waved at the staff them knowing who you are and what you meant to the boys. You sat in the large stadium hoping your dark hoodie could hide your identity.

Taehyung and bts started singing you silently cheering on the band. You chuckled at some parts of the rehearsal making Taehyung look around seeing if anyone was in the crowd. You lowered yourself in the chair till he made complete eye contact with you.

“Whoops.” You said when Taehyung got off-stage looking a bit mad kinda scary to see him like that.

“You’re sick you clown, why are you here?” Taehyung hold your hand leading you to the back, seeing the stadium was outside.

“I want to support my boyfriend.”

“Here could I get a blanket and some water?” Taehyung requested for the staff to find while he sits next to you giving his coat to you. Staff came with the requested stuff Taehyung wrapping the blanket around you like a burrito.

“Here now you can watch.” Taehyung smiles when he saw your eyes glow causing him to snicker.

Jeon Jungkook: ˚✧₊⁎

Jungkook was on tour and it’s like your heart knew he left because your entire body just decided to shut down which lead to the worst fever in your entire life (very much exaggerated). You saw a ringing on your phone seeing it was around 11pm at night seeing it was Jungkook facetiming you. You answered with the best smile you could seeing Jungkook already pouring himself a glass of wine.

“Hey baby.” You said your voice low trying to keep your sickness a secret.

“You’re sick aren’t you?” Jungkook says taking a sip seeing your reaction of how he knew so fast.

“Don’t you think I know my boyfriend like the back of my hand!” Jungkook giggles already feeling the intoxicating wine release in his veins but you knew he isn’t the one to get dead drunk.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Jungkook asked like he wasn’t the one that called you. You turned on a light so Jungkook could see you better. You winced at the bright light for a moment.

“Because I want to talk to you.” You grinned seeing Jungkook trying to think of something to say back.

“Well you’ve got a point but I’m going to need wine to deal with you.” Jungkook did little asmr noises on the wine bottle just to see you laugh.

“Gasp! And you’re not going to share?” You drank more water cheering him through the camera. You took some more medication off screen going back to see Jungkook looking directly in the camera, his doll eyes.

“If I gave you wine, your cells would literally explode brat.”

#bts x male reader #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts hoseok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook

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willgayers · 7 years

Note

i havent been COMPLETELY thru your list of reddie fics so if youve already done something similar ignore this but. what about a sickfic where richie is sick? also maybe eddie just like, forgets about germs to take care of him and then ends up getting sick too and blaming richie and richies jus like, dude, were you here

i changed it a little but only the part where he blames richie and richie wonders if he was there !!! hope u like it :-)

again,,, sorry for the length?? but i cant write these short?? also again. IT IS WORTH IT

so obviously eddie is TERRIFIED of germs and every time one of the losers has even a little flu he’s not gonna touch anything they touch and will stand 5 feet away from them and honestly in the end will probably just be that one friend who’s gonna say

“my mom said no”

just so that he won’t hurt his friends’ feelings even tho he really just doesn’t wanna be anywhere near them bc hey he could get it too and it could turn into something more dangerous like leper obviously

but then one tragic time… richie gets a flu

and eddie’s very torn bc he doesn’t wanna be with richie cause ???? he isn’t clean

but then again they were supposed to hangout

eddie is thinking whether he should ditch richie or not

“jesus i’ve been sneezin since 8am”

yeah eddie is not gonna go there

the gERMS ARE FLYING and just the thought makes him shiver

he’s thinking that oh well maybe tomorrow he’s gonna be ok again

spoiler alert: he’s not

so eddie suffers thru the day bc its boring at school without richie

they talk on the phone later that day and eddie’s like hey r u feeling any better

“i am nod” richie answers with a stuffed nose

eddie just sits on his bed with a facial expression that is nothing other than :(

then the day after that ,,, eddie goes to school in hopes of that maybe richie had a miracle healing last night and now he’s gonna be there

LMAO YOU THOUGHT EDS

now eddie is just gettin pissed off bc how dare his boyfriend be sick for this long

so again that night they speak on the phone

“richie jesus christ when are u gonna HEAL”

“i am do dorry eddi-spageddi bud i am just so sig”

eddie is gonna turn into hulk soon from the conflict bc he REALLY misses richie

should i stay or i should go™

(nice stranger things reference)

ok maybe eddie is gonna give it one more day.

so it’s friday and richie has missed school for almost the whole WEEK

“wow eddie you’ve been without richie for almost the whole school week how’s that feel must be a new record huh”

“shut up stan”

don’t be mean stan

eddie’s heart is breakin

again,,, he goes home from school and calls richie immediately

“ARE YOU,,,,STILL…. SICK?????”

“yeah i— *LEPER COUGH* i ah-ah-AMh *cough*”

eddie cringes because ???? oh my gosh he is turning into a zombie

“oK THATS IT”

eddie has had it

he hangs up and stomps out of the house and rides his bike to the grocery store and buys all kinds of stuff like non-caffeine tea ((bc he knows for a fact that it helps better than regular)),, some ice cream and chicken soup in a can even tho eddie thinks it’s disgusting and fights with one of the workers

“YOU DONT HAVE NORMAL,,, READY CHICKEN SOUP IN THE FRESH FOOD SECTION????”

“yeah not today”

“my bOYFRIenD haS bEeN SiCK!! FOR A WEEk and i hAVE TO BRING HIM A CAN????”

eddie shakes his head in disbelief and curses the store as he walks away

then he finally arrives at richie’s house

he knocks on the door first just in case his terrible excuse of parents are home but they aren’t

so he leans down to grab the key from under the doormat and opens the door

he walks in and stiffens his upper lip as he glances around at the sight of empty beer cans and liquor bottles and there’s just the smell of old booze and cigarettes in the air

like it’s normal (and eddie hates that it’s normal) but richie’s SICK and he should be breathing fresh air not the literal definition of the breath of a drunken bum who’s been living in the gutter

this wasn’t what he was expecting bc he figured that richie’s parents would at least open the fucking window because their son is sick inside the house

so quickly eddie makes his way to richie’s room that is at the end of the hallway and he knocks on it softly before opening the door

he finds richie sitting in his bed ,,, burrito inside blankets and he’s watching something from his laptop

his eyes are red and his face is a lil swollen and nose also v red

eddie wants to cry bc he looks so bad

“eddi???”

“yes,,, eddi to the rescue” he mocks his boyfriend’s stuffy nose voice a little

richie is literally starstruck bc ???? EDDIE IS THERE ???? EDDIE , IS THERE , WHEN HE IS SICK ????

“whad de fug edz u should go befor u ged dis doo”

“i’ve been to school without you for a week now richard im done”

richie wants to cry

eddie is still just staring at him bc he doesn’t know how to approach him since he’s still a little disgusted at the situation this is all new for him ok but he really wants to help his bf

“i bought u some stuff”

richie starts to smile wide

“BUT” eddie starts

“before i give u any”

“????”

“you’re gonna leave this house”

richie looks at him like he’s crazy

“r u serioud eddi every pard of ma badi hurts”

eddie feels so bad for him

“you don’t even have fresh air here richie so i am serious”

richie can’t take the fact that his boyfriend is such a knight in shiny armor

eddie leaves the bag for a moment to grab richie inside his blanket burrito and pull him up.

“ur gonna have to get rid of this blanket tho”

“no:(”

eddie looks at him

“srsly richie i can’t give you a ride on my bike you’re gonna fall down and roll down the hill”

“:(”

“i will give you my blanket once we’re there”

richie throws his blanket down way too fast and he starts feeling nauseous

the bike ride isn’t very aesthetic™ for him either bc his head is spinning and all of his muscles hurt and oh my gosh he’s doing his everything not to throw up on eddie’s back rn

eddie’s mom isn’t home so eddie can easily sneak richie in

he’s not sure how he’s gonna explain him living there until he’s healthy again tho

but he’s not gonna worry about that now

(fast forward;

i donT CARE THAT HE’S SICK AND INFECTED MOM,, i LoVE HiM!!!!)

so now they go into eddie’s room ( he’s basically holding richie up )

and richie settles down on eddie’s bed and eddie wraps him inside a blanket and richie is just smiling at him the whole time

“r u comfortable”

“very” richie says. the blanket smells like eds and he is in eddie’s bed. ofc he’s comfortable

“here’s my laptop”

eddie hands him his macbook and goes to the kitchen to prepare the chicken soup. in the can. which eddie still thinks is unacceptable as he heats it up

“here”

richie is about to cry bc “did you really mage me chiggen soub”

eddie nods with a light frown like wtf obviously that’s what you eat when you’re sick

“there’s also ice cream”

“ice cream???”

“yeah it’s for the throat…???

eddie is kinda confused bc how can richie not know it helps

then it occurs to him that

richie doesn’t know, because

no one’s probably ever taken care of him when he’s sick????

i REPEAT, NO ONE’S EVER TAKEN CARE OF RICHIE TOZIER WHEN HE IS SICK

now eddie wants to cry

“scoot over”

he wants richie to be on the side next to the wall so he can lean his head on it if he wants to it’s more comfy

with a lil trouble richie does move and eddie cuddles up next to him

literally cuddles

richie is SHOCKED

“are you sure u wanna do dat”

“100%”

richie wants to marry eddie

“wad r we watchin”

“kill bill”

“waid a minude… isn’d dis-”

“yours. yeah. i never watched it and i never gave it back so”

“u never watched dis?? oh my god eddi—”

“eat ur chicken soup and watch this movie with me now oKAY” eddie is a pissed off knight in shiny armor bc talking is just gonna exhaust richie more and he needs to get WELL

richie eats his soup and they watch the movie in silence,,,, glued to each other and at some point eddie realizes richie’s fallen asleep with his head resting towards eddie’s

eddie can’t move because he knows if he does he’s gonna wake up richie

but thankfully after like 15 minutes richie wakes up and he’s like “shid where am i”

“you’re with me”

he turns his gaze down at eddie and he remembers that yes,,, he is in fact with eddie and he just feels: ️️️️️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

well the weekend goes by and eddie goes hardcore nurse on richie and literally by sunday he is already pretty healthy like his voice is back to normal and so on

but… Oh… no

eddie and richie are eating in the kitchen

richie goes;

“baby can u pass me that ketchup”

“sure—”

SNEEZE

eddie’s eyes widen and he freezes in shock

richie looks at him like o'shit he done caught the flu

but then he starts to smile

“WELL I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER WEEK”

“what do you mean?!?!?!”

“because obviously im gonna take care of u”

eddie is 😨😭💘😓😭💕😨😭💗

then later they tell the other losers why they’re both missing school and stanley uris wants to comment again

“so eddie u went to richie’s house??”

“yesh”

“and i thought i was romantic letting bill choose dinner”

@nopetaking @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart @itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies @ageorgymi @oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @waterlouis @wyattghouleff@urtury @bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack@reddieaddict @icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir @anxiety-freak-yuuri @rheddie @queertrashmouth

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #hcs #it 2017 #it fanfiction #reddie headcanon

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gaberoothekangaroo · 3 years

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i havent been okay for awhile. there was the trauma of my childhood, early teens, and late teens that i had begun to process once being out on my own in college for the first time. but i wasnt focused on the trauma or what it had done to me. i was too busy exploring things that id hever had a chance to experience or do like my friends or peers had done. i was allowed to like things. i was allowed to buy things. to exist. and thats more of what i focused on. hard to have something taken from you if theres no one around to take it.

and then i graduated and returned home because i wasnt financially stable and didnt know where i wanted to go with my life. id gone to college for something i was good at and liked, not something i could make a life with. and i dealt with that instead of my trauma.

one of the things that cropped up in my late teens that never left, that i never ignored or put on the back burner was my picking. zits, pick. bumps, pick. scars, pick. enough time wasted that id lose myself for hours in front of the mirror picking at my face or sitting idly in my room picking at different parts of my body. its continued throughout my life. getting on a long dose of acutane helped to clear up some of the picking cause now there were less things to pick. but that happened more recently. i learned picking was most likely a body repetitive disorder. a cousin of ocd.

no one is a paragon of mental health in my family. my mom needs help mentally and refuses to acknowledge any issues. my dad is bitter over the fact that during their marriage she needed help and instead created a toxic divide that led to their divorce. no one ever talked about mental health in a positive way. or in something to look out for.

so i guess i never realized that picking was something i needed help for. trauma, yes but later in life was when i realized i needed help for that. so being away in college paranoia? ocd? something of the two slipped in alongside the picking and never left. it was never bad. i didnt count. things didnt have to be a specific way. but i checked the door. and again. and again. again. again. which graduated to checking the car. if i was still within 15-20 ft i would go back, unlock it, and check to make sure i locked it. yank on the door handle. and i would have continuous anxiety about is the car locked? not enough to overtake my thoughts, but enough to bother me until my attention was diverted to class or groceries or whatever. repeatedly check that i turned in an assignment. not just one, but multiple calendars or checklists. constantly asking my dad something multiple times. but are you sure? are you though? what about now?

and very quickly it transferred to my cat. check to make sure hes still inside. crack open the door to make sure hes still inside. look around the stairwell. check the door. is he still inside? and that progressively got worse over the years. before the pandemic it was bad enough that i would pick him up from wherever he was and put him on the couch in view of the window by the door so that i could see he was there when i locked the door. and checked the door. and checked. and checked.

pandemic hit and. i couldnt keep things clean. i couldnt keep my space clean. i couldnt keep myself clean. my cat clean. and i moved out of my room and into my office/the den. i did it while everyone was gone. i shut myself away because i could control how clean i felt in my room. but that progressed to not feeling very clean in my own room and hardly in my own bed. ive reached the point where i dont feel safe or clean being near my dad or sibling. they go out. they see other family. they dont social distance. theyve been out drinking and to restaurants. and theyre not vaccinated. and i feel so unclean next to them.

and the feeling of being unclean led to my showers growing from just washing extra long to multiple hours. 20 seconds is good enough to get the germs off your hands? must be applicable to the rest of your body.

it takes a lot of effort and energy and hypervigilance to be downstairs the 1-2 times i do it a week. then the effort and energy of showering until i dont feel dirty. its a lot. its been a strain. ive had the strong desire to stab myself and cry and scream because im at my wits end. this is not sustainable. ive trapped myself and i dont know how to get out. i dont know how to ask for help or where to go. what to do.

my cat has a cold and has been prescribed medication thats refrigerated, given 2x a day every 12 hours. i leave my room twice a week, spend an hour downstairs, and then the next four in the shower. i cant medicate him. and my anxiety is too high to call the vet back and ask them for something else. and im trying to be open with my dad about my mental health but its hard. he doesnt know everything. he doesnt even know 1%. and all i want to do is cry

im so tired. the pandemic has forced me to deal with my past trauma because theres a lot of patterns in the current trauma. its forced me to deal with my ocd or germaphobia or whatever it is. my chronic health conditions are out of control. i feel like im drowning in mental illnesses and trauma. and im so tired

#having a mental health moment. to be deleted.

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sid-the-super-tramp · 4 years

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when can you touch the newborn puppies

Newborn pups are delicate animals and kids should be overseen when around them. Puppies, specifically newborns, typically shouldn't be picked up, lugged, or had fun with up until they can stroll and also their eyes are open (three weeks is the target number below). Adults can hold the puppy as well as permit children to pet dog it until the 3 weeks have actually passed. Even after that amount of time, it's ideal to keep a watchful eye on both pet dogs and also a child. when can you touch the newborn puppies Few points to consider before touching the newborn puppies The Mother Dog’s Role After two months of pregnancy and hormonal surges, her long-awaited litter has arrived. Now your mother dog must adapt to her new role, that of caretaker and protector. She instinctively senses the complete helplessness of her newborns and even a very mild-mannered mother dog might curl her body around her litter or place her front and back legs over her nursing babes to shield them from human attention. Stranger Danger While everyone in the neighborhood wants a whiff of new puppy breath, wait a few days before inviting anyone over. A mother dog with a new litter is naturally anxious and she could view the presence of non-family members as a threat to her young. Monitor Small Children Kids are naturally loud, boisterous and they typically exhibit all the behaviors a mother dog does not want occurring around her babies. Instruct small children to talk in whispers before allowing them to enter the nursery. If the mother dog seems leery, have the child remain outside the room and bring a puppy out for her to see and touch. Socializing the Litter Puppies who don’t receive human attention can have problems adjusting to their new homes. Take time to pet and hold each puppy daily, even if you have to wait until the mother dog goes outside for a potty break. Within a couple of weeks, after the newborns’ eyes open, most mother dogs begin to relax, allowing more human interaction with their puppies. By the time the puppies are about 6 weeks old, most mother dogs will sit by complacently or take a nap as their puppies play enthusiastically with their humans. Nursery Rules When your mother dog relaxes enough to let family members in the nursery without becoming anxious, allow visitors one or two at a time. Hold a puppy so the puppy is between you and the mother dog. If you turn your back, she’s more likely to get up from her litter to come around and see what you’re doing. Bringing her a food snack tells her you’re not up to mischief. Respect her desire to protect her young ones and she’ll be more than happy to share them with you in a few weeks.

when can you touch the newborn puppies

How soon can you touch a newborn puppy or How long before you can touch newborn puppies

you shouldn’t handle the newborns too much until after their first 2 to 3 weeks of life. 1 . Newborn Protection The puppies’ mother usually handles their newborn's tasks without any human intervention. They’ll clean and feed their young and snuggle with them when it’s time to rest. But if mom (who can sometimes become over-aggressive) is ignoring or neglecting her pup or pups, then you’ll have to take action and remove those pups! Also, keep an eye on all the pups and monitor their health. If any of the puppies have trouble breathing or have a problem maintaining proper body temperature and they’re shivering or overly hot, you’ll have no choice but to pick up the pup and rush to the vet! 2 . A Slow Process The process slowly is the only way to handle puppies. Handling them in short intervals at first is recommended. A minute or two is enough time for puppy handling for the first or second time. 3 . Avoid Careless Handling You do not ever want your puppy to have a bad handling experience so pay close attention to what the puppy is doing at the time of handling. If the puppy is nursing then leave the pup alone! Touching and holding a puppy requires it to be done correctly, so if you follow some guidelines, the pup will be happy and also will benefit from human interaction. There's a trust factor. The dog should "realize" that the owner is not a threat. Once that trust is established, the dog generally doesn't bite.

Will, my dog bite me if I touch her puppies

A wise owner keeps in mind that the mother has just been through the exhausting process of birthing, her hormonal mix is undergoing rapid changes and her instincts are more likely to drive her behavior than usual. The owner of a bitch with a newborn litter should pay close attention to her body language signals and if she shows any signs of feeling uneasy or upset, back off ASAP. This is not the time to try to force human will upon the bitch because there is more than one way to lose in this situation. The owner could permanently damage the bitch's trust, could be bitten or could leave the bitch feeling so threatened that she eats the puppies (something highly stressed out bitches sometimes do). If all seems to be well with both puppies and mother, keep in mind that she needs room to learn how to care for her puppies and time to bond properly with them. She needs peace and quiet rather than parading the whole neighborhood through the whelping area to show off the new puppies.

If you touch a newborn puppy will the mother reject it

There is a long-standing myth that touching newborn animals will cause their mothers to reject them. This is almost never true, and puppies are no exception. In fact, family dogs are often very tolerant of their favorite humans touching their babies. However, although touching a puppy won't make his momma reject him, that doesn't mean you should do it indiscriminately. Always take the mother dog's comfort into consideration when you attempt to handle very young puppies. If the mother is nervous, defensive or aggressive, back off. If momma is growling or trying to hide her puppies from you, touching them is a definite no-no. Momma dog's main job is to protect and care for her pups. If momma dog is comfortable with you and doesn't show any signs of stress when you approach her new babies, most breeders recommend you begin gently petting them for a few minutes each day from the time she first gets them cleaned off and nursing. The idea is this early contact will habituate them to human beings and make bonding with their future human families easier and faster. This petting must be very gentle: simply stroke the puppies' backs with one finger. Stop immediately if the mother acts like this bothers her, and don't pet the pups for more than a few minutes at a time. Newborn puppies are very vulnerable to illness, so make sure you wash your hands very well with hot water and soap before and after touching them.

can you touch newborn puppies with gloves

Immune systems are non-existent at this point. The smallest germ can kill your babies. Keep them separated from all other pets in the household (except the mom).I know your first instinct is to show the puppies to every person that comes to your house because they are just that cute. DONT! No one should be around the puppies at all until they have at least done their first set of vaccines. When personally handling your puppies it is important to wear latex gloves which you will dispose of after each wear. That way you know your hands are clean and free of bacteria that could potentially pass along to the puppies.

what happens if you touch a newborn puppy

Nothing happens, you feel happy :) You can touch them straight away, but only if your dog lets you if she looks stressed then leave them alone. Never try and take them away, if she feels you are a threat to them she may eat them as a way to protect them, just hold them for a few minutes and then give them back. Make sure to stroke her first and talk to her calmly to let her know that you're not a threat to them. Finally, things to consider : Approach the puppies slowly in a reassuring manner.Back off if the mother is being protective of her litter!Gently pet the newborn pups by running your fingers softly along their back and sides but only AFTER their mother is finished cleaning or nursing them – never interfere with these processes.Lifting a small pup is easy, just slip your hand under its tummy. If the pup is larger, use both hands and make sure you’re supporting the pups’ head. Make the puppy feel safe by cradling its legs near to its abdomen, then snuggle the pups’ legs with both hands.Newborn pups are delicate animals and children should be supervised when around them. Puppies, especially newborns, generally shouldn’t be picked up, carried, or played with until they can walk and their eyes are open (three weeks is the target number here). Adults can hold the puppy and allow children to pet it until the three weeks have passed. Even after that time period, it’s best to keep a watchful eye on both pet and child. Read the full article

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t33th1ng · 7 years

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aborted nanowrimo attempt - november 2015

false bend sits on the coast and is quiet , and keeps to itself . its a town separated from the world by big high trees that pack together tight and leave no room for travelers .

toursits love it , you see . tourists love it . the people who live there wouldnt say they love it . but the people that live there arent overly emotive to begin with

everyones a little similar in this town and if youre passing through you arent going to notice that until you move on , you get to the next town and you remember the way people are Supposd to be. then it hits them , hits you , dawns on these tourists that hey something is a little weird over there , over there in false bend . somethings a little off

the people who live there know but they dont … acknowledge . that doesnt do much good . somethings fucked here , thats all they know .

somethings fucked and it reels in these tourists , who are on long scenic drives along the coast or are headed towards the national park up north , they are attracted to whatever this town carries they love the fresh ocean air and the clear crystal waters flowing down from the hills , the muddy streets , they love the towring trees the foggy beach and the cliffs above it (a witch lives in those cliffs) the tourists lap up the quirky locals and the weird way the light filters down from heaven , they love it , then thye move on . nobody moves into false bend , not really . like .. its been known to happen people Will move in but so slowly , it happens at at trickle . its like they come here . they love it , they want to Want to live here , then they leave again to take care of other affairs and in that time something Clicks in their minds like yeah , yeah false bend is nice , maybe we’ll drive through there again next summer or something but i guess .. now that i Really have time to mull it over .. i guess i dont particulrly want to live there . its nice but .. not for me

its not for anyone really . its a miracle the town even exists because no one fucking wants to live there Really .

Regardless

people live there . the same people , year after year . people dont really move away either they just . its Stagnant is what it is .

and then , in late summer , a full entire family moves in which is unprecedented entire Families dont move in if anybody comes into the town its a solitary being , maybe a couple , never a family . most parents have the good sense not to drag their children into something like this

but this family , the osmans , they move in regardless . theyre a weird lot , weird in just a way to fit in here and weird , water-damaged . the father is transferred here for work . hes a doctor . a … hes a pathologist okay , he works in a lab looking at germs . his wife is a mess , his two daughters are surviving. its a bad family .

they move into these apartments , known as being the nicer apartments in town. the building is low and either painted gray or weathered into that color who fucking knows . it has a courtyard which is pretty cute and well maintained , if you can imagine that . two stories , vacant feeling , nice apartments though . the stairwells are creepy . it feels a bit like a motel . the roof is flat .

these osman family move into the apartment that used to belong to gertrude stetson before her son sent her to an assisted living facility two towns over . the apartment was definitely too big for one old woman to manage on her own but at the same time its far too small for a four person family to live in. theres a sense that this apartment will be temporary , hopefully , thats the plan , please .

but really .. Are There four people living here ? the father puts in long long days at the hospital and sometimes just sleeps there . he has sleep problems , takes drugs for those, so if he is home hes passed out . the mother is here and there , shes not a staple in the ‘family life’. the daughters are the only ones there with any regularity . so maybe this apartment is just the right size .

theres two bedrooms , a bathroom , and reasonable space set aside for a conjoined kitchen+dining area and living room.

its some kind of arrangement

So , next door , across the hall from these osmans , is josef sokol , the younger daughter catches a glimpse of him and refers to him as the ‘tweaky looking fucker’ . its not a wrong assumption to make , josef doesnt look good . he doesnt feel good either , any time , at all , ever . he monitors his new neighbors move in just as he monitored old miss gertrudes move out . in fact , he helped , and his muscles ached for days after . so he doest help these new ones move in . he observes them through his doors peephole and gets a bad feel but he cant tell i if its just him or if its legitimate . guess he'll have to wait and see . he spies on them really , wonders if he should buy a coffee cake or whatever the fuck and give it to them as a housewarming gift . thats what ol miss gertrude did when he moved in here , years and years and years ago . but whatever . he ‘ll think on it . maybe .. he can get the coffee cake and give it to them and use it as an excuse to scope them out .. yes . yes sounds good . josef needs to keep tabs on people

he lurks around for days , observing simply. he doesnt work or anything , he doesnt have friends or hobbies , so hes free to watch these new folks movements to quiet his frantic mind . he Needs to get a feel on them . especially since theyre right next door to him . he sees a father and two daughters and a woman who stops by once who hes never seen before so he assumes shes with them , possibly the mother ? bad vibes , bad vibes . he sits on his barstool in front of his door , straining his eye thru the peephole , smoking a cigarette . he blinks , slowly

that evening he goes for a small walk to smoke some more . he runs into another neighbor , a man who lives down at the end of the hall fuck fuck oh fuck - a man who lives down at then end of the hall named terry . terry is out walking his shitty dachshund that josef wants to fucking punt across the street its peed in front of his door twice and barks in the middle of the night , soft far -off yaps that make him jolt awake . josef glares at this shit dog . shit dog is sniffing the bag of mcdonalds some lazy ass dumped on the gutter

‘so whatre the new neighbros like’ terry asks . josef shrugs , takes a deep inhale , tries to blow the smoke away from him but the winds being weird so the smoke ends up all going in terrys face anyways , but fuck that guy .

‘’nah, nah havent talked to them yet , figured id let them settle in first ‘ blatant lies : josef is in no frame of mind to speak with others right now . this includes you terry, you fucking demon . ‘ seem a little unusual but whatever . nice enough i guess . theres a father n two daughrers and i guess a mother’

‘you guess ?’ terry does this shitty awkward laugh that he always does when josef says something mildly weird which, to be truthful , is Often . josef knows this laugh in his goddamn bones

‘yeah . some older woman is there like , once . no clue who she is . neither of the adults look like the kids tho ,’ josef exhales more smooke , it goes at terry again , terry backs up . the shit dogs chewing on an old french fry cup thing what they fuck are those called ?? called shit dog chew toy now

terry gravitates away after that . josef does too . time to walk around a three block area and then return to his apartment . see if anythings new with these neighbors . think some more about that coffee cake .

by the next afternoon josef musters up the courage , soothes his fucking brain , and buys this coffee cake . time to meet the neighbors . gotta prove hes a reasonable functioning adult . he puts on some relatively stain free clothes , and moves out . maybe he shouldve shaved too oh well . he knocks on their door , its a sunday , late summer .

one of the daughters answers . shes shorter than the other and looks mildly fucked up . she looks like she gets in fights at school over shit that doesnt matter (this is very true) and like she doesnt get enough validation . she also looks suspicious .

‘hello ?’ she opens the door just enough to pop her head out . theyre the same height , both of them . roughly five foot six , five foot seven . theyre at eye level . and they both have brown eyes . go figure

‘im your neighbor . my names josef.’ he sticks out his hand . she reluctantly shakes it .

'im bea’

‘heres some … heres this coffee cake . welcome to false bend ‘ josefs ability to do this suddenly fucks out on him and he wants to run .

‘cool ‘

bea takes the cake , josef nods , they both vanish into their apartments . josef is getting a Really bad feeling from these people .

later that evening theres a knock on josefs door . oh fuck . he silently jumps out of his cherished recliner and lightfoots to the door . nobody can hear him. outside is bea and her sister . the sister is taller , shes definitely more attractive , she looks more wellrounded for sure but still kind of dead inside but josef isnt one to judge . he opens his door

the sister immediately smiles and sticks her hand out . ‘hello! sorry i missed you earlier , i was taking a nap. my names gloria. thanks for the cake!’

josef shakes her hand , studying her . he cant get a good read on her and its fucking him up .

‘josef .. josef sokol . nice to meet you’ hes forgotten to smile so far so he makes himself do it . he thinks thats the right facial expression for this . glorias smiling so …

bea isnt but hes not going to trust her for social cues .

‘its nice to meet you, sorry my parents arent here , im sure theyd love to meet you too ‘ gloria goes on for a bit about things that josef doesnt necessarily Care about but hes glad to know . family of four , her fathers a busy busy doctor man doing his medicine , they moved here from new mexico , its so beautiful here isnt it ? it sure is .

gloria thanks him again , promises to see him around , everyone retreats . josef knows more now but fuck that just making him more confused . he feels paranoid . he always paranoid but Especially now .

the osman apartment is a weird place to be . the grand dr norman osman has unpacked and situated all his earthly belongings . the larger of the two bedrooms is normal looking . the rest of the apartment , boxes and bubble wrap and the remains of several half assed unpacking attempts . the sisters are trying to make things nice but it isnt working like it should . theyve smashed their mattresses into their shared room , and have realized theres no room to put the bedframes in there , so now they have to figure out where to get rid of those . bea puzzles out how to get the wifi and cable set up , she figures it out , they spend an evening watching nature documentaries together instead of unpacking more because theyre tired . and then the next day they go on a walk instead because gloria wants to figure out whats where in the town shes says its so pretty lets explore . they end up doing that all day and are so tired by the time they get back they pass out .

bea knows her mother is staying in a motel and she doesnt tell gloria . it wouldnt be anything new but she doesnt want to say it . gloria probably already knows anyways why should she bother . mom is gone gone gone

they seee their father , their esteemed doctor , a few times .

he comes home almost every night , he takes his shoes off and immediately retreats to his room , he leaves early in the morning . the family does not communicate much .

but this is how things always are . life goes on .

josef observes , josef is confused . school is going to start soon , in a matter of days . gloria will be a senior , bea will be a junior . gloria wants to get everything unpacked before school starts . bea doesnt give a shit .

‘cmon . if it doesnt get done by school its Never getting done ‘

‘why cant we just go on another walk .. i want to look in the forest …. ‘

gloria wins , they unpack some . not all but some . they get the bathroom set up somewhat . bea finds her fuzzy sucks and puts them on . the apartment feels a little less shitty .

‘ isnt this so much nicer ?’ gloria feels like theres fresh air in her lungs . she likes things to be a certain way . bea doesnt care as much . they both clean up for bed and retreat . their bedroom has one tiny tiny window and they lay in bed awake , facing each other , eyes open . the moon is weak and the clouds are heavy , the light is cold and failing . they look at each other and think and remember

they arent related . bea was adopted by their parents when she was four years old and gloria is their godchild . gloria has seen a lot and it makes it hard for her to sleep sometimes . the first night they really truly met each other was a little like this , in the dark and staring at each other emptily . they are sisters in a weird ferocious way . they hurt together but theyre not dead

that night , like most of the others , norman comes home . theyre both awake when he unlocks the front door . they listen to him take off his shoes , take his sleeping pills down his throat , he strips his socks off , goes into the room , turns the tv on . the volume is low . light flashes under the door .

‘lets go to sleep ‘

please

bea and gloria go to the coffee shop down the street the day before school starts . the street is poorly taken care of and theres a bunch of weeds growing , theres plants bursting out of everywhere in this town its just the way . and the buildings around the street , just like all buildings , in town , are gray and beaten . the ocean weather gnaws them down into something gray and dirty .

all the buildings are low . gloria looks straight ahead while she walks and bea looks all around them . a truck drives by them , maybe the passengers are somebody they will go to school with ? theres a bar with a shining neon sign across the street . crows sit on the telephone wires . bea watches it all .

in the cofffee shop bea gets a donut , gloria gets tea and a scone . gloria cares more about keeping up appearances.

they sit at the window to watch people inside , and outside , the coffee shop . as they sit it starts to rain a little .

okay i dont giiiive a fuck

wanted to tdo donuts , donuts was boring ,

after the coffee shop wihc was Boring And a Mistake Fuck U .. afterwards thy go towards the ocean , it is cold and lovely

the ocean rolls out forever . before coming here , neither sister has seen the ocean before . they watch it for a long time . gloria is smiling , she likes it . bea is mildly horrified . she doesnt know why . she watches it move in front of her and she has a hard time breathing . oh she hates it . or not hates it . it scares her . and her first kneejerk reaction to being afraid of things is to hate them so its only natural

gloria wants to walk the beach forever , admire the nature and the shells and the gulls , admire the gulls and the clouds . . bea just wants to go the fuck home but hey she isnt going to ditch her sister on the beach .

they stay out there an hour , more than an hour . fuck im gying im g=done goodNight

bea can only view her chemistry teacher with suspicion. marcus rydell , who has long braided hair and plays guitar and wont shut up about his beloved pet cockatoo and has a gigantic potted tree in his classroom that cant be removed without killing it , well this mr rydell is a weird guy . and bea can handle weird but theres just something so off about this guy .

all the other students love him , hes a school favorite. but bea is creeped out by his pale pale blue eyes. something about his eyes . she doesnt know it by name doesnt know what it particularly is but its there she hates it , it drives her nuts

(months later after shes established her weird , mildly shitty relationship with josef, she tells him about it . he looks thoughtful on it but doesnt offer much beyond 'have you noticed how others have that look? in this town?' and now that he mentions it she really does notice that . imagine that . much much later he tells her more and she realizes what it all means )

anyways

bea doesnt like this fisheyed hippie shit bastard and waching him an hour a day in class is a bad feeling. she stews on this in the back of class and is thoroughly unnerved by the time she leaves. she cant even whine about it to anyone - again , everyone loves him. also she doesnt have friends so like

sol washington is the world famous darling of false bend, he has a huge home there on a cliff above the ocean with an all native species carefully maintained garden. hes there twice maybe three times a year . there is a live in staff of maids and yardworkers and one grouchy middle aged woman who takes care of his impressive 400 gallon fish tank. he loves those fish. she loves them too but not much else

josef would be the eleventh edition to this household and sol wishes he would but but josef doubts he could handle it and anyways , living in large spaces freaks him out . hes an opposite claustrophobe. also a reguar claustrophobe . josef has some issues

he goes to the grand washington house whenever sol visits , to keep him company and to be bathed in luxury. he also pays the house periodic visits to just to make sure its being kept to sols standards. and to send him pictures of his fish . he also kind of likes some of the staff there and likes to check up with them when hes feeling particularly sociable which is a relative term with him but is known to happen

sol designed the house himself of course . just as he has a fair number of the buildings throughout false bend. its only natural - hes a beloved renowned architect with a strong capability in interior design . he travels all over the world to build and lecture and entertain. sol is the light of whatever party hes sucked into . his passions are creation , and socializing (and the occult But ) in fact he met josef when he traveled to new mexico in the 80s to help create a spiritualists mountain retreat . a lovely complex integrated into the landscape and he picked up josef along the way . josef cant come to terms about how he feels on that - getting uprooted from the desert drug culture and transplanted into the northwest rainforest . he figures it was good in a way, not gong to complain about having a safe place to live and being somewhat sober is somewhat nice as well . he supposes . but going up north tossed open a whole new can of worms as well . thanks , sol .

josefs life in the desert was painful dangerous and something he will never properly recover from . hes killed a man and witnessed three other murders . hes wasted four solid years of his life on heroin , his body hurts and his scars stand out bright on his skin . and his brains never going to heal . but hes come to terms with that at the very least

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