#i feel like a genius. redstone is awesome

[mossy-covered-bones]

The fun thing about trying to learn redstone on your own is having no clue what standard practice is. Im reinventing the wheel every time i try to make something, and im sure it could be faster or more efficient or easier to understand, but it fits in the space i have, so. Who cares if its a little convoluted

[funky-lady]

Picture taken from the animatic “END OF THE SOUTHLANDS || Last Life Animatic || Grian, Impulse, InTheLittleWoods, Mumbo” by Dropster. Go check it out it’s awesome!!

Leave a Lichen Subscribe

Yes I am adopting Techno’s genius technique by shamelessly promoting my blog, sue me. Or don’t. Please don’t.

The Boatem Crew Boards The Dream Cruise Ship

“Wait, so you're telling me these don’t exist here.” Muses Impulse with a thoughtful frown as he eyes his lichen farm speculatively.

Next to him Phil nods, unwilling to admit the slight wariness he’s feeling at the sight of the scheming glint that enters the man’s gaze.

Phil notices the small, yellow i’s in the centre of the man’s pupils and wonders if Impulse wears contacts or of it’s a weird side-effect of the warlock ritual he went through.

“Yup!”

“That’s so strange… I’ll have to build a shop for it in this world then.”

Phil snorts. “You know they’ll just steal whatever you’re selling, right?”

The smirk that spreads across Impulse’s face is nothing short of devilish. “Oh don’t worry. It won’t be long before they learn not to.”

*

It’s while walking down the Prime Path that Impulse has an idea of how to build this world’s version of the Lichen Subscribe Shop.

He stares at the pristine, white building, plans and blueprints forming in his mind at lightning speed.

He won’t build it here, but Phil told him about this place called Snowchester, where glow lichen would grow very well.

It takes him a few hours to get there but finally he finds the perfect place to build his shop.

With a decisive nod he plonks his shulker boxes containing his building blocks and wastes no time getting to work.

*

After three days of hard work, he’s done with the build.

This shop might’ve taken a while to build, and used up enough blocks that the Boatem crew came by to drop off some more materials, but he’s so glad that he stuck with his idea of building a Lichen Subscribe Shrine as a shop.

Japanese in design while still making generous use of his trademark colour pallet, the shrine is a shop he could be proud of. The inside of it is covered with banners embroidered with a lichen-like pattern.

No need to leave some of his product out in the open for people to take.

The lichen he plans on selling is promptly stored in barrels below the shop, encased in multiple layers of obsidian and rigged to a trap that’s designed to drop anyone foolish enough to mess with his shop into a hole encased in multiple layers of obsidian, lava and water.

That should keep anyone from stealing the goods he’s selling.

For the shop itself Impulse builds a redstone contraption that acts as a distributor of sorts. The design is similar to Mumbo’s potato vendors, only more… classy.

Finally, after a few days of gruelling work, Impulse sits back and admires his work.

He can’t help but grin in satisfaction.

It’s always so satisfying when something he comes up with in his mind turns out to be just as successful once he builds it in real life.

And this build is one he’s definitely happy with.

As he sighs happily and starts putting his blocks away, Impulse stills when a voice sounds from behind him.

“Who are you and what are you doing?”

A/N : A master list for this au and a rough timeline can be found here

@call-me-dj @camilo-madrigal @blueliac @snowstorm174 @neonwizardheehee @kia-kit @who-needs-braincells @achille-s-cum-down @tubb-0

[ivi-prism]

I’m stealing Shade’s “Ranking the Hermits based on how much I want to fight them”

Have my list and thoughts under the cut :3

Tfc: -100/ 10. Why would anyone want to fight minecraft grandpa is beyond me. Like... maybe if you are in your hero arc and play spar with him because he is your mentor I can understand. Otherwise? No harm shall be bestowed on Minecraft grandpa

Xb: -50/10. Why would anyone want to fight Xb??? look at him! Hear him laugh!

Jevin 0/10. Not because I would lose but because he is a slime. Like he is a non-euclidian liquid so I’ll probably break my hand in the first punch and then get stuck and slime texture might be uncomfy so no worth it.

Etho 1/10. Etho is so cryptid I don’t think fighting him would be fair. Man probably would drop and anvil on my head and thats it. Or he somehow inflicts long lasting psychic damage on me with a pun. He is a pretty cool guy but the potential damage is not worth it

Joe 1/10. No???? Why hurt southern dad?? He makes poems and he is awesome!

Tango 1/10. Mad Evil genius Mr. Tek? Yeah I don’t think is a good plan. He probably has all the place trap already or he has more than enough rockets to out fly me and escape

Stress 2/10. She is so sweet and positive and nice and she has the wits to trap me and obliterate me, better not mess with her

Iskall: 3/10. Other of the Hermits known for pvp but I wouldn’t want to fight him because his laugh is so contagious and it brings me so much serotonin I would feel guilty . Also he a hitman, probably would lose in like 10 seconds

Keralis 3/10. Man would probably bonk me with a diamond block and there goes my teeth. That or he would use those eyes of his for psychological warfare. If I knew it wasn’t going to be an under water fight and that he isn’t wearing god armour I would be willing to give it a shot

Wels 4/10. Roasted in just two minutes but it would be hella cool. If not Wels still has armour and i doubt I have the strength to swing a sword effectively that and punches not available would probably make it a very short fight

Scar 4/10. He is so wholesome and positive I would feel bad. But what really stops me from fighting him is those vex powers of his. Man made a crystal that send Cub back in time, doubt is a good idea messing with him if he can do that and launch a rocket launcher by accident in self defense

Cleo 5/10. Cleo panics easily so in pvp I think I have a chance but she would probably end me with sarcasm before I can even think on a plan

Beef 5/10 if he is in his llama dad persona I would be done for. Just drop an anvil on my head and thats my end

Hypno 5/10. He is so cool I would like to foght him but also not because he is cool

Cub 6/10. Man has too much power. He would kill me in pvp or with redstone traps or with dad jokes. Still I would try it just to see if I can

Doc 6/10. Man fought a god and only lost an arm. It would be hella cool! I would get decimated in seconds but it would have been the most badass moment in my life

False 7/10. Queen of Hearts, Heads and Body Parts would inmediatly kill me with her martial arts but it would be a honor

Xisuma 7/10. His body armour is bad for attack but if I win, video game logic says I’m the new admin of Hermitcraft so is wort a shot. Even if I lose I could say I did it for the lols

Mumbo 8/10 not because I actually want to snap the lanky spoon. He simply looks like an easy target as long as I don’t give him enough time to make redstone traps

Zedaph 8/10 not because Zed is punchable. I just want the blueprints to his redstone contraptions and he ignored my zoucher so I had to take drastic measures

Rendog |8|/10. Ren is so positive it would probably derail into a practice fight and I would probably end up learning something new. That or the man that has a thing for chains and is horny in main will definitely go full Wrestler outfit for the match and I would probably nope out of there due to second hand embarrassment

Grian 9/10. Gremlin man is so punchable and he will definitely trick me with a fall trap or just go blood thirsty and go Lord Dreamslayer and decimate me in pvp. Either way it would be cool

Bdubs 10/10 I will definitely die stabbed 28 times but boy oh boy do I want to challenge such feral energy. Also knowing Bdubs it would probably be funny

Impulse 10/10. This man has looked god in the eye and defeated them just so he can do ‘a little bit of work off-camera’. i intend to try and bonk him in the head so he takes a nap! Will I be successful? Most likely not. But I’m willing to try

[writing-the-end]

Chapter 32- Chaos in the Clouds

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

After a successful battle against more of Dolios’s dark forces, Ren, Tango, Impulse, and False take a much needed break to enjoy Edenswell, the city in the sky. Little do they know, their peace will soon be shattered by death. 

____________________________________

The temple of Tyn was a haven of truth, the quiet whispers of candor mixing with the swift whisks of shuttles crossing the tapestries. Woven stories, facts and history written where no lie can ever be told. Finished panels hang from the wooden pillars, waving gently in the high winds of Edenswell. All is well, all is silent, truthful. Sincere. 

Until Impulse goes crashing through the main hall, splinters of wood spraying across the worshippers and weavers. From the broken pillar, a thunderbird perches, empty lightning coursing through ashen wings. If it weren’t the patches of husked feathers falling off in clumps and the burning white eyes, it would look like it’s usual stormcloud color. 

But the husk beast leaps down, talons scraping against the wood, it’s squawk as loud as thunder. Impulse shakes his head, shaking free from the dizzy spell and plucking a splinter as big as his finger from his hair. Through the dancing tapestries, the hermit can see False, Tango, and Ren stumble after the monster. He rises to his feet, offering a grin to a nearby priest. “I totally don’t have this under control.” 

He didn’t mean to say that. But the words that were on the tip of his tongue came out as what he was thinking. Damn truth spells, his words have done little except make the pilgrims feel worse! Impulse offers a meek smile, and hops over the husked thunderbird, a well-timed explosion tossing him over the enormous bird’s head. 

Ren’s hands cross, fingers symmetrical before snapping outwards, twisting and turning to summon his magic. “Let’s get this little birdy wrangled up, y’all.” 

With a chuckle, Ren casts his magic. The circle tightens, trails weaving into a braided rope. Just as he imagined, a lasso appears in his hand. Beside him, False calls out orders. Like the general of an army. “Tango, Impulse, keep it distracted for Ren!” 

“Hey Impy, think it’ll taste like chicken?” Tango laughs, fire blazing around him. He taps his heel against the cloud beneath his feet, and condensed water burns into steam, the floor falling away from the thunderbird. Together, the two keep the bird preoccupied, completely oblivious to the spinning rope of Ren’s lasso. 

Of all the cities the hermits thought would be safe from Dolios and his dark magic, surely the city in the sky would be. But the reports of unrelenting storms and flocks of broken-winged birds led them straight to the crystal. Nestled in the heart of a hot spring spa, in the depths of the clouds and open to the sky, False and Ren managed to destroy the corrupted crystal. But not before this thunderbird discovered them, and attacked with the strength of a hurricane. 

“I think he’s mad he didn’t do his job! Protect the crystal, kill any nosy townsfolk.” Impulse chuckles, snapping his fingers and blasting the flank of the bird. Ash of the husked form collapses, head rearing back and lightning crackling under the wings and feathers. Generated by the beat of the beast’s wings. But before it can release it’s thunderous caw, matched with the bolt of lightning, amber magic twists and wraps across the thunderbird’s beak. 

“Got’em, boys! False?” Ren grins, digging his heels into the cloud vapor. HIs ears tuck against his head, fur meeting hair as he struggles to keep the eagle from escaping into the sky. What Ren wouldn’t give for a buff from Wels right now. 

False doesn’t hesitate. She never does. She leaps onto the back of the bird, heels digging between feathers and flakes of the soulless, lifeless body, and raises her blade. The rippling metal turns bright red. As hot as freshly forged metal waiting to be doused in oil. Without wasting another second, she cuts the husk down. 

The form beneath her feet crumbles like fall leaves, ash and embers picked up by the winds of the cloud city, with False left to collapse onto the ground. For a place built in the clouds, her ass feels anything but cushioned. 

But she’s grinning all the same, accepting Tango’s hand to help her up and elbowing Ren in the stomach. “One less creepy beast in the world. And one more crystal in the books.” 

“I’d say we earned ourselves some rest and relaxation. Edenswell does have some of the best spas and retreats in Lairyon.” False lets her sword clatter to the cloud, pulling a hand through her hair and the clumps of blood and dirt from her locks. 

“I dunno about a spa, but I saw the Festival of Mimé is going on, and I wanna have some fun while we’re up here with our heads in the clouds.” Tango points out, which causes Impulse’s eyes to light up. 

“The festival of Mimé? That’s the biggest fireworks showcase in the kingdom! They have a contest every year to see who can do the best exhibition, and I’ve always wanted to see it.” Impulse has already turned towards the sound of music and celebration, in honor of the god of joy.

“Why not just watch it if you can join it, my dude?” Ren points out, stretching aching muscles, hands over his head and pulling them taut. Both Tango and Impulse stop dead in their tracks, and False only groans from her spot on the ground. 

“Ren, you mad genius. We’re going to blow that contest away. Literally.” Impulse’s toothy grin appears, matching his friend’s. False finally rises up, shaking her head. 

“You guys are adults, you do what you want. Just...don’t burn down the damned city.” False waves them off, and goes in search of somewhere peaceful to rest and recuperate. She could use some healing as well. That thunderbird did a number in battle.  Ren, Impulse, and Tango are left to their own devices. 

A dangerous thing. The three clamber over one another to be the first at the entrance to Mimé’s temple. At the mouth of the open courtyard, color blossoms across the grass in flowers, flags, and festivities. Kids run past dragging kites and blowing pinwheels, while adults are celebrating with their own joyous creations. As soon as the hermits are through the archway, flower crowns have been set upon their head. Impulse even managed to find ones that wouldn’t catch fire upon Tango’s hot head. Music and dancing fills the open air, surrounded by brightly colored food and even brighter laughter and crafts. 

Ren lets loose a low whisper. “Guess Mimé and Blumiere share one thing in common- creativity is joyous.” 

“We’re going to wake the ancient ones with our joyous fireworks show.” Tango grins, searching for the contest. But he notices another pageant going on. “Hey, Ren, look. A pet agility course.” 

Ren rolls his eyes, but his tail wags without his consent at the idea of running it. “I’m an imagination mage, not a dog. It was one mixup.” 

“One mix up that left you with ears, a tail, and a joy to chase carts.” Impulse snickers. “Come on,  RenDog, you’d be the most handsome dog in the whole pageant. And the fastest.” 

“What’s the harm? It’s all good fun, Mimé would want that. I dare you.” Tango’s words are all that Ren needs to hear, and the mage plods off to join the pet parade.

Tango and Impulse waste no time getting to work. A hellbound mage and an explosions wizard, teaming up to make the best fireworks ever seen by the entire kingdom.Mixing together all colors, all patterns, daring to go bigger and better than any other contestant, it’s Tango’s wild ideas and Impulse’s refined magic that allows them to slowly tune towards perfection. 

But not without a few mistakes along the way. Their first attempt at a spectacular sight turned into a show fit for ants, not for gods. And there aren’t even ants in Edenswell- it’s a city in the clouds, for Stratis’s sake. 

The next mistake was loud enough that even False heard it from the hero’s spring baths that healed her wounds. She peeked one eye open, seeing yellow and red blossoming in the open roof of the Hero's baths. She only sinks lower into the azure waters, shaking her head. They’re adults, she doesn’t always need to run in and be the S-Class mage. She’s going to enjoy this rest, dammit. 

After trial and error, error and trial, night falls on Edenswell and the fireworks shows begin. Sound mages ease the explosions to sensitive ears, allowing music to swell with the colors that blossom in the sky. Sincere shows, wishes in the sky, and large extravaganzas dazzle the crowd and illuminate the air in place of the sun. 

Tango and Impulse are last to show, and with each entry before them, they get more excited. Tango just wants to snap his fingers and light it up now, so everyone can see all the hard work they did. Ren disappeared hours ago, and they’ve only caught glimpses of his brown ears or colorful outfit since then. But at least False arrives just in time for the show. “Where’d you lose Ren?”

The two shrug, noticing that her wounds from this morning’s battles have already faded to scars and False looks more refreshed, ready to battle than ever. Whoever duels her next better watch out. “He joined the pet party or whatever. Seems like he was having a good time last we saw.” 

Tango laughs at Impulse’s words, still in disbelief their friend actually crashed a pet show. But that’s Ren for them, wild and innovative, and never backing down from a dare. “You ready to see the biggest, best, most awesome and perfect fireworks-ification you’ve ever had the honor to lay eyes on?” 

“I’m ready to see whatever it is you two have created.” False steps back, materializing a large shield, the blade pointed out and disk protecting her chest. “From a protected and safe distance away. I’m not making another cannon mistake.” 

“Oh, ye of little faith.” Tango grins, and snaps his fingers. Fire erupts at the base, dancing along an intricate, twisting sequence that False can only compare to Mumbo’s redstone lines. Fireworks blast off into the sky, dancing in spinning circles and straight lines, set off at the perfect time that when they explode, they paint the dark night with colors that twist and dance, intricate patterns flowing in seamless design. Music swells with the dazzling paint, the musicians inspired by the incredible sight before them. False is mesmerized, feeling the purples and blues and greens and whites light up on her face, the joy of watching such a show reminding her what it means to be a hermit. To see her friends create, to see the beauty of unrestrained magic. 

The finale blows the sky open with every color of the rainbow and then some, illuminating the entire city, but even under the crescending music False hears Tango and Impulse curse at the same time. The colors fade into streaks of light, embers falling to the city like a meteor shower. False shakes her head, realizing at some point in the show she put her shield down. She was too enamored by the fireworks. “Okay, I’ll admit- that was fantastic.” 

“But it wasn’t perfect.” Tango grumbles. “We messed up the pattern in the grand finale.” 

Ren bowls into the three, tail wagging and eyes alight. “Dudes, I could tell that was your fireworks, that was the coolest thing ever! Mimé must be stoked, he probably hasn’t seen something that epic since the ancients!”

“No, it really wasn’t.” Impulse kicks the ground. “We fucked up the end, it’s not what we imagined.”

There’s a loud thwap, sparks flying from Tango’s head while Impulse hisses, rubbing the crown of his brown hair. “That was the most incredible fireworks show i ever saw. You two are gifted with explosions- that I already know- and that was badass. Even if it wasn’t what you imagined, I thought it was beautiful. Because it was you two’s work, your heart and soul, even your mistake was a part of you guys.” 

“False is spitting truth, bros.” Ren adds, nodding his head. “That was so cool, you guys made your idea come to life! Wasn’t it fun making it?” 

Tango and Impulse pause, looking at the sizzling remains of their fireworks. The ash stained grass, a few chunks missing from the cloudcover. And they laugh. “It definitely was a blast.” Impulse croons. “I hope Mimé thought that was as cool as it was to make.” 

“I definitely think it was a joy to watch.” False hums. She rolls her shoulders, eyes roving across the festival. People’s eyes sparkle, conversations and fingers pointed towards the sky. “And I think others feel the same way. Congrats, hermits. No only did we save the day, you guys made it a little bit brighter here as well.” 

“And I won best in show!” Ren chuckles, showing off his medal. The others laugh, and he tucks it away. “None of you guys tell the others about this.” 

“No, we’re telling everyone.” False snorts.