#i feel like i should start going to sleep its like almost 12 am lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

palbabor-writes · 4 years

Note

Hellooo queen I hope you had/will have a great day. This is actually my first time requesting something so I’m very sorry if I do something wrong 🥺🥺... can you maybe write some fluff (OR NSFW I DONT MIND... just love him way too much damn) stuff for dabi?? I don't know if you only take requests with exact instructions or if this request is enough... if you need something more precise i will try to come up with something! Thank you very much!!

Hello, love! You did it perfectly & thank you so much for asking! I can be a bit of a lurker on things, so I totally get how much courage it takes to do one of these.

You did amazing & I love, love this question. I love it so much that I went ahead and took an old outline of mine & made it into a full blown fic for you!

Now, in honor of all the craziness swirling around our favorite flame user, Imma post it a little earlier then I’d planned! So, thank you for the ask & I hope to talk to you again ( ＾◡＾)っ ♡

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7496

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW 18+ only, mentions of blood and gore, heat play, dick piercings, adult language and freaking Dabi. That alone should warn you.

Thermós θερμός ther·mos adjective m (feminine θερμή, neuter θερμόν); warm, hot, boiling, glowing

It’s sweltering; the fervor of summer sticky, humid, and oppressive. Japan is in the throes of August, and this heatwave is not letting up. Even at night, it’s impossible for Dabi to get comfortable. He’s been lying, half naked, draped across his narrow twin mattress for the last few hours, sweating.

His quirk isn’t helping matters.

He’s been trying to recruit new members. Every day, he sets out, pounding the pavement, sifting through the bits and pieces of trash that he runs into. It’s a pity. If those scrubs weren’t so fucking pathetic, he might not be in this predicament. But they are, and now he’s having to suffer the consequences of his temper.

His phone gleams on his dilapidated side table, a text message chiming across the screen as it flashes a speck of brightness into the darkened room. Groaning, he leans over and snatches it up, his hands slick as he clutches the encased plastic.

It’s Toga.

As a rule, he tries to avoid her. He hates her chatter. It’s always some unending nonsense about those UA kids, about Stain, or about fucking blood. It’s always blood with her. Give her five minutes, and she’ll work it into her conversation somehow, even if it’s just blurting it out, a blush staining her cheeks.

Fucking freak.

[ Blondie: 12:34 am ]

- found smth 4 u. (Y/N) has a place. Keeps it @ like 60 degrees… lol

Well, disgusting as Toga is, she has her uses; he thinks as he reads her text.

He’d asked her, a few days before, if she knew a place where he could crash. Somewhere that had some goddamn air conditioning. The hideout’s unit is on the fritz again, not that it had ever worked all that well.

Hmm, well this is something, at least.

Dabi’s isn’t sure what to think about Toga’s little ‘find’. You were a newer recruit, someone that Compress had brought in.

He hadn’t paid much attention to you. You didn’t stay at the base and were only around if there was a specific mission, or a task, that Shigaraki set for you. He isn’t even sure what your quirk is. You seemed easy-going, neutral, but he doubted you’d extend that easy-going demeanor to him camping out at your place for the A/C.

Chucking his phone back on the side table, Dabi flops to his side and tries to drift off, hoping his exhaustion will let him ignore the suffocating heat he’s drowning in.

Fuck.

He’d done it again. It was hard to resist the urge when these people spouted such vague fucking bullshit at him. No one, not fucking one of them, could live up to his cause. And if they couldn’t meet that standard? Well, they were better off as ash, melting into blackened pools as the asphalt greedily soaked their blood into its cracked depths.

There is a heat advisory today.

He’d heard the news as he scarfed down a quick breakfast at the hideout’s bar. He wouldn’t be out for that long, he reasoned. Besides, maybe today he’d find someone good.

Wishful thinking on his part.

His skin feels oppressive and his staples and piercings are scalding, the metal hissing and steaming as he tries to dampen his quirk. It’s harder to regulate his temperature on hot days. He shouldn’t be out here, he thinks, snarling as he pats out a few rogue flames that catch on his dark jacket. Even lifting his arm to perform that simple task makes him grunt, hissing out a mantra of curses.

Shit, fuck, goddamn it fucking all.

He looks bitterly up at the sun and debates his next move.

He could retreat to the bar, but that doesn’t solve his problem. No, the viscous heat that radiated along those upper floors would just make his skin feel worse. Hell, it might even result in more mottling, his burns stretching farther along his arms and chest. He’s not going back to the bar.

Where the fuck even is he?

He peers down the alley toward the street. It’s not too busy; just after noon, so most of the foot traffic from the morning has died down. He yanks his hood up, ignoring the ache of his legs as he stalks toward the street corner.

Carefully, he pokes out, his eyes tracing over the crosswalk, looking for the street signs. Ah. He’s close to that address, your address, that Toga sent him.

Slipping his hands into his pockets, he saunters along the pavement, careful to keep his head down.

You were out of town.

He’d picked up that tidbit from Compress this morning. The masked man had been lamenting that you might be away for a few days, possibly weeks. Something about being on a fact finding task for that shadowy voice that talked with Shigaraki from his tv.

He didn’t care, still doesn’t. All he knows is that you supposedly keep your place cold, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

You’ve got a nice apartment.

It’s decorated in pleasing whites, yellows, reds and greens, with clean lines and modern touches. It’s kinda like you, he considers as he shrugs his coat off and breathes in that amazing waft of cold A/C. You’ve been useful to have in the League; efficient and no nonsense about the missions you're given and you can fit in with the outside world. You’d give even Toga a run for her money when it comes to espionage, he’s heard others say about you.

Dabi tosses a distasteful glare at your narrow couch and pads toward your bedroom, shouldering the door open and stepping into the dark sanctuary.

Your bed looks nice. It’s a good size too.

Lifting his boots from his feet and stripping down to his boxers, he presses into your clean sheets; shivering as the chilly air hits his overheated skin, cooling and dampening that oppressive sense of heat. He’s out in seconds, his body relaxing, slackening as he falls into the void of his dreams.

Yeah, now that he’s had this, there’s no way he’s staying at that hideout of the League’s unless he has to.

You’re gone for the better part of a week.

He’s started asking Compress about you. At first, the older man had given him an impassive stare. Since when did Dabi even know your name?

He’s asking because he needs to talk with you about… uh… supplies?

This, apparently, is the correct thing to say, because Compress nods his head sagely and elaborates on your timetable. You’re collecting things for Kurogiri and you’ll be gone for another few days.

Good, Dabi thinks, slinking into your apartment again, lowering the window behind him. He’s careful to leave things as he found them, his entryway into your place included. You don’t need to know about this.

What the fuck would he even say to you?

Hey, uh, it’s fucking hot at the hideout, and since you’ve got a working A/C unit and like 3 fans, he’s been sleeping over at yours. No big deal, right?

Even after you return, he keeps sneaking in.

He’s gotten your schedule memorized, and he’s heedful of the hours you keep. You’re a little more regular than the others in the League. You actually sleep at night; unlike the rest. The others are often out at God knows what hour, combing for recruits and leads, but not you.

So, Dabi shifts into full night owl mode. He crashes at your place in the midmorning, after you leave for the day, trying to ignore the perfume that comes from your sheets.

You’ve got a nice smell.

It’s oddly comforting, and he hates when he accidentally burrows into your pillows; nostrils flared, inhaling that aroma that’s all you. While he’s never talked with you before this, he goes out of his way to ignore you now.

What he’s doing is fucking weird, and lines are blurring. The other week he’d bumped into you coming out of the bar and he’d almost snatched you to him.

You must have just showered, because that fucking scent was radiating off your skin. It’s nothing too, eh, feminine? No, it’s more like… oranges and sandalwood. It’s a heady blend of rich balsamic and citrus, and he can’t get it out of his head.

August has faded into September, and he’s still sleeping over at yours.

He can’t help it. It’s not his fault your bed is so downy and, fuck, cool. It’s like the sheets don’t absorb his warmth. No, they’re always cold and they feel so fucking good against his staples and burned skin.

It’s midmorning, closer to noon, and he’s dozing, his eyes heavy and drooping. He’s exhausted, so bone tired, that he doesn’t hear your door opening. No, he doesn’t even notice you until he hears your voice.

“Um, would you like to tell me why you’re in my bed?”

He’s on his feet in a flash, a slow flicking of blue flames tracing along his fingers. You’re framed in your doorway, eyes wide, stepping away from his aggressive stance.

“Woah, woah,” you begin, lifting your hands in supplication. “Let’s just… take a minute and talk. I’m not-”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he snaps, his cerulean eyes narrowing, but he dampens his fire, a long curling of smoke framing his face.

“Uh, I think you got that backward there, bud. You’re not supposed to be here, I live here,” you scoff, one hand propping on your hip, head tilted exaggeratedly.

Dabi is about to spit something else out when you stride into your bedroom, tugging your jacket off and sauntering over to a tall dresser. He snaps his mouth closed and watches you. He’s not sure how he’s going to talk his way out of this, and he’s grateful for the reprieve. But, he knows an onslaught of anger or, fuck, preserve him, a lecture is incoming. Worst case, he thinks, observing you from his peripheral as you tug out a long shirt and some shorts, you’ll just kick him out and that will be that.

You glance at him again, your eyes lingering over his exposed chest and legs, and he can’t help the scowl that breaks over his face. He’s not embarrassed, he’s just, well, he’s not sure how to classify that stare. Most people recoil or toss him a glance of pity, their brows wrinkled with worry and distaste. But you? You arched an eyebrow and smiled.

Fucking weirdo.

Pausing in your doorway, you bite your lip into your mouth and carefully speak your next statement, voice smooth. “Look, while I’d rather you, oh, I don’t know, asked me about staying here. I’m not in the mood to argue with you, and I’ve got a long journey ahead of me tonight.” You take a deep inhale and toss him another smile.

“Just… just lay back down and get some rest. I promise I won’t molest you,” you tease, and he snaps his head up at that, his chin jutting in agitation.

You laugh at his sour face and he feels wrong-footed; lost. What the fuck? Who says shit like that? Who is in their right mind is just, oh, no worries man, promise I won’t grab your dick?

What’s wrong with you?

“I’m going to change and then I’m going to go to sleep. You can go, or you can stay, I really don’t care. All I know is that I’m not going to sleep on the couch when I’m in my apartment.” You retort, that grin still lifting your lips as you step away, the wall shielding you from his view.

Dabi remains where he is; standing in your bedroom, clad in his boxers, his hands clenched into fists by his side. Somehow this is worse than you throwing him out.

You return a few minutes later and he can’t get a good look at you. You slink past him and are under your covers in an instant. Not that he’s trying to give you a once over, he snarls to himself, shaking his inky head.

You nestle into the comforter and turn to your side, leaving him plenty of room on the opposite end of the bed. He blinks at you, a deep welling of uncertainty nestling in his stomach.

You’re quiet for a long moment, your eyes closing and shoulders relaxing, acting like there’s not a wanted, deadly villain in your bedroom, paces from your side. Then, you twist, giving him a quick scan, your eyes lingering over his.

“Either lay down or get out, Dabi. I’m not going to be able to sleep with you glaring at me like that. You look like some kinda ghost.”

Your declaration provokes a huffing, agitated reaction out of him. If there’s one thing Dabi hates, it’s being told what to do.

He slings himself beside you, splaying out, his body laying on top of the sheets. You chuckle, your head peeking at him over your shoulder. He ignores you and tries to close his eyes.

It feels strange, resting next to you like this. It’s… intimate, and he’s not sure if he hates or likes the sensation. He chances a glance at you, but you’ve already turned back to your side, your shoulders rising and lowering rhythmically. He shakes his head at your blasé reaction. How can you just, fuck, sleep?

He can’t get comfortable and his skin feels heavy again. It’s not heat this time. No, now something else is making everything feel too close, too warm.

He dampens his thoughts, mind frantically focusing on anything but you. As the sun slips behind the buildings across the street, his eyes lower and he fitfully sleeps, your rich smell filling his senses.

He’d left you in the night; tucking his clothes back on and easing out of your window.

True to your word, you’d relegated yourself to your side of the bed, hardly tossing or turning as you slept. As he paced back to the hideout, he wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into. He just hoped you’d keep your mouth shut. He didn’t want the others knowing about this, it felt, well it’s not like him. Abrasive- fucking spewing anger and vitriol? Yeah, that was him. But this? This was too soft, too gentle. He hated it.

But that’s the problem with hate. It’s terribly close to that other emotion. They’re sisters, really. Usually love and hate exist on two sides, but they’re still the same coin, no matter how you toss them.

You don’t act any differently after that night.

You keep coming to the hideout, giving him a vague smile and greeting before continuing your day. He’s acting differently, though. He can’t help but watch you, suddenly fascinated with how you move. He tries his best to shake himself from his musings, but sometimes he can’t help it.

If anything, he grumbles to himself, watching you chatter with Toga, you’re subtly going out of your way to place yourself in front of him. You were never around this much before. Well, maybe you were. He didn’t pay you any mind back then, but now? Now he can’t get enough of you.

He reacts when you laugh, or talk, his head turning, like a sunflower, toward the light you give off. Ugh. His only hopeful reprieve from this, from you, is the changing seasons. The days are getting shorter and that heatwave is finally, finally breaking.

It’s his one comfort, his saving grace.

Yeah, he should have fucking never tossed that wish into the universe.

No, another heatwave passes over the island and it’s the worst one yet. The daily temperatures have been hitting the low 100s and the nights aren’t much better. To make matters worse, the A/C at the hideout has given up the ghost and won’t turn on at all now.

Still, Dabi’s prepared. He’d bought a secondhand electric fan a few weeks ago, and he’s grateful for the tiny slice of paradise that it grants him. It’s not as nice as your apartment, or your bed, but it will do.

He’s laying across his mattress, sweat trickling down his back and shoulders, trying to ignore that ache in his burned skin. The fan is blowing across him and he’s about to crank it up a notch when it gives out an ominous sputter.

Dabi sits up, his eyes flashing. No, no, no, no. There’s no fucking way.

The fan’s blades are slowing, that sweet, cool air dampening, drifting into the low-lying humidity that surrounds him. He yanks the plug from the wall, his staples stinging as he stands. He stomps over to the outlet and plugs the fan back in, turning on his haunches to see if the blades will start that familiar whirl.

There’s fuck all happening.

Cursing, he kicks the shitty thing over and grabs his jacket, storming down the stairs and into the night.

You’re sleeping when he slinks under your window sill, sliding the glass shut and kicking his heavy boots to the floor. It’s that sound that wakes you, and you lift yourself up, your sheets falling from your chest, revealing a bare shoulder and low cut shirt to him. Unabashed by your appearance, you wipe a palm over your eyes, rubbing the sleep away and croaking out a greeting.

“When I said you could sleep over here, I didn’t mean you could barge in at all hours. And through my window? So, that’s why the hinge looks like that.”

Dabi considers you for a moment, his blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight. You tilt your head at him and suck your teeth.

“A, oh, I don’t know, sorry, would be nice?” you scold, that alluring smile lifting your lips. He follows the line of your mouth, his thoughts hazing over, focusing on some other, darker, daydream.

“Hello?” you call, waving your hand beside your face. “Earth to Dabi. What do you want?”

That question slips him out of his stupor and he lifts his eyes back to yours. “The A/C is out. Bought a fan a few weeks ago, but the fucking thing broke and I can’t… it’s hard to regulate my body temperature in this fucking heat. You keep this place like an icebox, so I started crashing here. Wasn’t planning on coming back, but after tonight-”

“Ok, ok,” you laugh, already scooting over and flinging the covers back. “Seeing as you didn’t try any funny business last time, I guess I’ll let it slide. Just, not to be rude, but shut up and let me sleep. I’ve gotta long day tomorrow and as enthralling as this conversation is…”

“Whatever,” Dabi mutters, slinging his damp shirt over his head and pacing over to the side of your bed. You blink up at him and shake your head, that tiny grin lingering. He presses into your familiar sheets, eyes already slipping closed as the fragrance of you pulls at him.

It’s early when he wakes, shuddering out of a nightmare, red flames and crying voices fading into the back of his mind.

Wincing, he raises a hand to his eyes and pulls at his face, relieved that it’s still cool air that meets him. As he rolls to his side, he feels something trace over his unscarred chest. The sensation makes him freeze, his eyes snapping open again, the cerulean searching, whisking over the dim figure beside him.

You’re still sleeping, but you’ve shifted, your body curled, facing him, and one of your hands is reaching toward him. Shit, he thinks, heart pounding in his ears. You’re so close.

He’s never been this close to you.

Your mouth is parted, delicate lips plush and soft in the early morning gloom. He tries to shift away, but your brow creases when he does, so he stills his movements, gritting his teeth and trying to ignore that flush that is building across his nose.

This is stupid. It’s just you. It’s not like the two of you have even done anything. Fuck, you barely talk with one another.

He burrows his head into his pillow and the shift of his body urges you closer to him, your hand opening and pressing to his skin. A sigh slips from your mouth as your fingers splay out, tapping against his warmth, and he nearly startles off the bed.

He looks down at your hand, aghast. He wants to move it off of him; can’t stand that you’re touching him, he tells himself, that you’re this close to him. But he can’t bring himself to move. Your hand is so delicate, so…

Unconscious, you turn from him, your fingers lifting on their own, curling back to you. Dabi almost moans as you slip from him, clamping down on the sudden, primal desire that races through him. He wants to grab you; to drag you back to him.

The hell? What the fuck is wrong with him?

Sucking his teeth, he turns over, facing away from the confusing neediness that’s lapping at his subconscious. He fluffs his pillow aggressively, trying to drown out all the raw emotions that are racing through his mind.

Forget it. Sleep.

When he wakes again, you’re gone.

The sheets where you slept are cold under his fingertips and he sits up, his arms resting on his knees. This whole situation is so fucking weird.

He lets himself ease into consciousness before standing and stretching out the leftover kinks in his muscles; stooping to grab his discarded shirt, pulling the fabric over his head and shaking his dark head against the sunlight. Just as he’s slipping his coat on, he notices the note that’s sitting on one of your bedroom chairs. It’s got his name on it, so he snatches it up, flipping open the folded paper.

“There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge, I won’t have time to eat it. Help yourself. There’s also a spare key on the coffee table. Take it and stop jimmying my window open.”

Scoffing, he crumples the paper up, tossing it over his shoulder as he paces into your kitchen.

It’s a fucking thing now.

He’s rarely at the hideout. Why bother? You don’t seem to care if he sleeps over. Hell, you make space for him. There’s gotta be something else to it; there has to be. What kinda idiot is so fucking accommodating? You act like you’re a fucking hostel or something. Well, a hostel where there’s only one bed.

You even bought another fan. You told him you don’t like to keep the overhead one on in the cooler weather, so he can use this one for his side of the bed.

Yeah, he’s got a goddamn side of the bed. It’s fucking insane.

The other members of the League either haven’t noticed what’s going on between the two of you, or they don’t care. It’s not like either of you talk about your sleeping habits. Fuck, you still never interact with him at the hideout, content to maintain that level of professionalism.

He’s not sure why it bothers him.

One night, the temperature drops into the low 40s and he’s stretched out on your blankets, enjoying the first real cold snap of the fall, when he sees you shivering. It’s not very noticeable, what with the way you’re turned away and bundled, but it makes him tilt his head toward you, watching.

Another pass of his fan has you repeating the quake and, without thinking, he pulls you closer, one long arm wrapping around your shoulder and tugging. Startled, you fight his hold, but he calms your movements with a squeeze, grumbling about your stoic reluctance.

What’s the big deal? It’s not like you haven’t brushed up against him before. Calm down.

You quiet after that and slowly, tentatively, you lean against his bare chest, your cheek cool against his heated skin. He tucks his chin over your head and tries to keep his breathing even. He doesn’t want you to hear, fuck, feel his heartbeat; it’s slamming its way out of his throat and he gulps when your fingers pull him closer.

“How are you so warm?” you ask, your breath floating across his pectorals.

“It’s my stupid quirk,” Dabi mutters, dipping his head down to his pillow, shifting you with him. You nod against his lean muscles and your fingertips trace cool designs into his skin, lingering over his burnt patches and staples. He sighs, unable to resist the low shiver that creeps up his spine.

This is nice; too fucking nice.

He can’t do without your touch now.

Remember that thing about love and hate being sisters? Well, that hate is simmering into something else for Dabi. It’s not love, he doesn’t know you well enough, but it’s certainly not hate anymore.

He likes touching you. You’re smooth against his jagged skin and he enjoys the contrast. He’s slow when he pulls you against him, careful to not snag you against his staples, but you seem to like his heat. You’ve even started wearing less to bed, slipping out of that baggy shirt and into a thin tank top; he’s pleased that he has more of you to caress.

It’s getting harder to keep you out of his head. He can smell your perfume, even if he hasn’t seen you for days, and each time he does see you, even at the hideout, his fingers itch to press against you.

You’d laughed at his sudden, intense, interest. The hell Dabi, are you touch starved or something? You’d teased. What’s up with you? I was worried about you burning down my apartment, not you turning into some kind of cuddle fiend.

He doesn’t care what you say. He knows it’s fucking stupid, fucking dumb, that he’s this desperate. It just feels good. And there’s not much about him that feels good these days, so he’ll take what he can get. Fuck you very much.

There’s a meeting. It’s one of the ones where Shigaraki demands that everyone make their way to the bar.

Boss man has been tense lately, thrumming with some dark energy, so the room is quiet as Kurogiri elaborates on the smaller details of the mission. Your part is minimal, limited to reconnaissance with Toga. It’s boring shit, and Dabi is only half listening to any of it.

Besides, there’s something else that’s snagging his attention.

Dabi is sitting on the couch, his eyes lingering on you. You’re wearing one of his favorite outfits and the color looks good on you. It brings out your eyes. You’re questioning Spinner and Toga about the finer points of your team up. He can’t hear you from here, but that doesn’t matter, he’s still in the best spot to spy you leaning forward, perfect ass on full display.

“She’s gotten better, more adept at working undercover,” Compress’ voice shakes Dabi from his thoughts and he turns to him, a bland frown on his face.

“Who?”

“Please, you know who I’m talking about. You can’t stop looking at her.”

He chortles, his laugh a sharp bark. “You’re fucking joking. Her? Fuck, no. I’m gonna head out, not like the boss has anything for me anyway,” Dabi stands, slipping his hands into his trench coat and pacing to the heavy door, shouldering his way into the night.

He leans against the brick wall, lighting up a cigarette and sighing a thin line of smoke into the chilled air. Fuck, they’re noticing what’s going on. Wait. What is going on? It’s not like the two of you are fucking. Yet, a small voice echoes in the back of his mind, and he smirks at that thought.

Yeah, maybe it’s time to speed things up.

You step out a few minutes later, your eyes searching for him. He flicks his cigarette onto the pavement and wraps his fingers in your coat, tugging you to him. You don’t fight him; don’t make a sound as he pins you against the brick, his body hot against your front.

The two of you watch the other, his cerulean eyes roving over your face. Then he’s lifting your chin, his lips sliding across yours. It’s a strange kiss. Usually, he’s too busy trying to get off to focus on his partner. He rarely kisses anyone, even if he’s hooking up. But this kiss?

Like everything else about you, it’s fucking nice.

You move with him, your body surging from the brick, breasts flattening against his chest, fingers cupping behind his ears; nipping and sucking at him, your teeth digging into his burned lower lip and pulling. You’re encouraging him to touch you next, rubbing yourself on him until his hands fall to your hips. He’s already half hard, and that warm juncture of your thighs isn’t helping matters.

To his shock, he’s having trouble keeping up.

You’re already pulling from him when he dips his tongue into your mouth. He gasps at the emptiness, that chilling vacancy that your touch leaves him panting into. Before he can bemoan your absence, you’re kissing at his neck, lifting on your tiptoes to reach the staples on the side of his face. You lick at him, your wet tongue dragging over his burns. He trembles under your hands and you smile, your laugh bright.

Snarling, Dabi yanks your head back and you meet his hazy gaze, biting your lip; pantomiming a wonton innocence. Immediately, he’s pushing you into the brick, his hands cupping and lingering until you’re whining for him. That’s fucking better, he thinks, his teeth worrying against your pulse.

Just when he’s got you where he wants you, your hand snakes between the two of you, pressing against the bulge of his dick. Dabi can’t help his sharp intake of air, and his head falls to your shoulder as he ruts into your palm. You keep kissing at the side of his face, your lips roving over his ear as you tug at his covered dick. You’re saying something, but he can’t focus when you’re doing that.

“Dabi,” you try again, teeth ensnaring his destroyed earlobe, sucking at the burnt skin. “They’re about to come out.”

He knocks your hand away from his straining, throbbing length and leans away from you. Fuck, you look good.

Your lips are swollen, and your eyes are dazzling. He can’t pull himself away. You smile at his dazed expression and lift a hand to his cheek, your palm cool against his overheated skin.

The door shudders open and the two of you spring apart. A few minutes later Toga is grabbing at your arm and pulling you down the street, away from him.

He’s waiting outside your apartment, another cigarette smoldering to ash under his lips. But he can’t bring himself to go in.

Not without you.

Toga’s kept you busy. It’s been over an hour since that kiss in the alleyway. He’s cooled off since then, but that simmering heat that you elicited from him? That hasn’t dimmed. He’s still half hard against his dark pants and he can’t bring himself to care. Besides, Dabi has a very specific idea about how he’s going to have you lessen that pressure for him.

He’s just about to light another cigarette when he sees you.

You walk into your building, and he starts the long climb up the fire escape. His heart is pounding again. He hasn’t wanted something this badly in ages. He’s been so fucking focused on his cause, on making his plans a reality; he just hasn’t had the time.

But now? Fuck, he wants there to be more hours in the day. He’s hoping the two of you can pick up where you left off. Yeah, he tells himself, scaling the last few steps, it’s just about the sex.

That sounds better than saying what he really wants.

You’re already slipping your oversized sleep shirt over your head when he lifts your window. You pause, watching him curl his way into your space. Once he pulls his legs inside he turns to you, his eyes dark, unfathomable, the blue so deep that you feel you’re drowning in it.

He doesn’t shut the window. Instead, he yanks his clothes off, clattering them against your floor. You smile and a gentle laugh makes its way to him.

“What did I say about coming in through the window?” you chuckle, already lifting your arms for him.

He’s against you in a single breath, his warmth seeping its way into your chilled skin. His lips are rough, pressing and lifting, biting and nipping. He’s working you toward your bed and once your knees hit the edge of your mattress, he’s shoving you down.

You flop against the cold blankets, your legs already spreading for his hips. He’s hot, scaldingly hot, against your hands. Your fingers dip into his hair and you pull him back, earning a low growl and his flashing glare, displeasure written all over his face.

“Slow down,” you scold, your legs wrapping around his hips, grinding against the hardness you find.

“The fuck? You goddamn tease. Fucking saying that, then rubbing your wet pussy all over my dick,” Dabi snarls, snatching your wrists and pinning your hands beside your head.

“How do you know it’s wet?” you ask, batting your eyes at his steeled jaw.

“It fucking better be,” he groans, his teeth sinking into your neck and pressing, hard.

You gasp at the stimulation and arch for him, testing his hold on your wrists. Grunting, he licks a wet line to your pulse, his hands tightening over yours. “Mmm, why don’t you find out?” you ask, leaning into his lips, loving the contrast of his destroyed and perfect skin.

He shifts his grip on you, yanking your arms up, pinning your hands above your head. He lifts one of his own hands away once he’s satisfied he’s got a good hold on you. His warm fingers trace down your side, pausing when he gets to the lacy band of your panties. Teasingly, he pulls fabric away from your skin, and lets it snap against your hip. Dabi tips his nose into the curve of your neck and shoulder, taking a deep drag against you.

You buck your hips, squirming under his weight. “You get lost? My pussy is a little further down.”

He chuckles darkly, his breath making you shiver. You’re just about to wriggle from him when one long finger eases past your panties and presses into your sopping heat. “Oh,” you gasp, your eyes rolling back. It feels like he’s heated his fingertip, and the skin that’s stroking and thrusting into you is warm, too warm.

Dabi leans away from your neck, bracing himself above you with his knees, pulling himself into a hunched position. He’s smirking at your awed expression and his teeth glow in the darkness.

“Like I said doll, you’re already so fucking wet for me. You want more?”

You nod and buck your hips, digging that finger deeper. He groans at your eagerness and you can feel him warming the next digit up, the tip burning against the soft flesh of your inner thighs.

Once it’s in, he starts to v the two, dragging them along your rippling walls, spreading you open, easing you into his hand. Your slick is sliding down your legs and seeping into the sheets. Still, Dabi keeps on, maintaining that steady stretch. It starts to sting and you shift away, but he releases your wrists, free hand moves to your hip, stilling you.

You glance up at him, curious. His eyes are hooded, the blue a velvety sapphire. He looks like he’s holding himself back from something. Almost like… like he’s handling you with more care than he’s ever given anything. It’s a strange thought, but the idea of it makes you reach for him, your fingers running down his discolored skin, lingering over the staples and piercings.

“I’ve gotta stretch you out,” he informs you, his eyes closing behind his trembling eyelids, savoring your gentle caress.

“Hmm, you that big?” you joke, fully expecting him to react, to silence you with a kiss or another well-timed thrust of his fingers. But he surprises you. He opens his eyes and fixes you with a rough stare, his digits continuing that aching pull. You’re throbbing around him, your arousal easing his passage, his extensions.

“I don’t want to… hurt-” he stops, his eyes narrowing. With an inaudible sigh, he slides down your body, only halting once he’s face to face with your sleek cunt. His breath heaves against you and you wrap a leg over his back, holding him close.

Dabi laves his tongue over you, latching onto your pulpy clit and giving it a soft suck. Your hands sink into his hair, curling into the spiky tendrils, urging him to give you more.

He rewards your needy moans with another lick and he flicks his eyes up to yours, watching you over your shaking curves.

“I’m going to add another finger,” he tells you, preparing you for another deep stretch. When he enters you almost pull from him, your hips bowing away at the pricking of pain. Sensing your distress, he keeps his lips around your pulsing clit, distracting you with kisses and low blows of air.

Finally, you can feel yourself loosening. Your feet brace against your bed and you use the leverage to maneuver him deeper. You feel, you feel so…

Dabi, realizing that your cunt is quivering around his intruding digits, shifts closer, his piercings rubbing against your thighs. He’s sloppy now, less controlled. His tongue is circling your clit with furious laps and he lets a canine trace the bud. His fingers are still spreading and he’s found that spongy spot now. He taps against it, teasing you, making you clench and gasp around him.

Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, when it seems like all the sensations are too, too, much; it snaps. The coiling in your core pulls free and you’re moaning, so loudly you’re worried your neighbors will hear. His name is falling from your lips at a rapid rate and you can feel his smirk as he lifts his fingers from your cunt.

Dabi leans away and you shake at the loss of him. He was so warm, so hot against your damp skin and you miss it. He watches you, tucking his fingers into his mouth, lapping the final bits of your release from him.

“Take off your clothes,” he demands when he’s finished, his hands already dropping to his tented boxers, slipping the elastic down his trim waist.

You shift to obey, your hands yanking your shirt, bra and soaked panties off of you. You splay under him, indolently admiring the sight that is revealed to you. Oh, you think, unable to contain your small gasp, he is big.

His cock is long, thick, and curved, and it’s dripping with pre-cum. There’s a crossed set of piercings at the tip of his length and you watch, mesmerized, as a shimmering strand of his arousal catches on the shiny silver, leeching down the smooth length of him. He’s bigger than anything you’ve ever taken, and that thought makes you shiver with anticipation, and a small sliver of worry.

Dabi grins wildly at your flushed face. “Like what you see?”

You nod, and he laughs, fingers snatching your legs, tugging you toward him. You spread for him, so eager and fucking turned on you can’t think straight. His hand lowers to his cock, and he strokes himself as he rechecks your silken cunt, gathering some of the gossamer strands of your arousal on his fingers as he ensures that you’re ready to take him.

“I’m not going to go slow,” he warns you, his eyes lifting from your folds.

Gulping and biting your lip, you nod, a shaking exhale escaping your lungs. He shifts himself nearer and begins to press. He’s right, you think, wincing at the sting of his intrusion. He’d stretched you out, licked you until you were leaking all over the bed, but it hurts.

It takes him a moment to bottom out. Once he does, he groans and gasps above you. “Fuck (Y/N), you’re so damn tight.”

You flop your head against your pillow and let out a long sigh. He’s holding still as you adjust, and, despite his warning, he’s being careful with you. It makes your chest squeeze. After a few more pained breaths, you can feel a low tingling radiating from your core. It’s like an itch. Experimentally, you cant your hips, your legs wrapping around his waist, cautious of the stapled skin across his lower back.

Dabi mutters a soft curse and pulls back, his length sliding out of your drenched pussy. When he glides back in, you feel that same tingling sensation. Distantly, you realize it must be those piercings of his, but you’re too overwhelmed by the sensation to process it fully.

“Hold on,” he groans, his hands bracing beside your head. You lace your arms around his bowed neck, and he starts to pounds into you. It’s a calculated motion, but- ah- he’s taking the extra second between his powerful pulls and thrusts to scrape his pelvis against your pulsating clit, stimulating you, ensuring that dim blaze pleasure within you keeps building. Whimpering, you arch your back, your ankles locking around him, encouraging him to keep going. You feel so good, so full, filled to the brim and practically begging him for more.

Sloppily, his mismatched lips find yours and he nibbles and kisses at you. The sheer heat of him is making you both slick with sweat. You don’t mind the salty, dampened feeling, if anything, it eases his motions.

You’re so wet now that he’s gliding easily into you; that piercing of his heating up, and the rapid fire thrusts he’s giving you create a smoldering inside you; like he’s catching you on fire from the inside out.

His hips stutter and he lifts one hand from the bed, his thumb easily finding your clit. He presses a tight circle across you and you see spots.

“Come on,” he groans, his voice hoarse, strained, “cum for me (Y/N). Fucking cum on my dick.”

That desperation in his tone is all that it takes.

Seconds later, you’re arching and shaking so much that he has to hold you still. He eases into you a final time, his frantic thrusts slowing, spacing out as he enjoys your rippling channel, and the fiery feeling of his own release almost hurtles you over the edge again. You curl against him, panting into his burnt ear, licking at the damaged skin.

Dabi leans heavily against you, one large hand pressing into your lower back, lifting you to him. Once he comes back to himself, he kisses at your shoulder, his warm breath making you shiver. He eases himself out of you and your legs clamp together, holding his cum inside you. It still feels so, so hot, and you’re not ready to let it drip out of you, not yet.

He untangles himself from you and adjusts some of his staples, wincing against the sting of his marred and clean flesh. Realizing what he’s doing, you slip from the bed and pad into your bathroom. You clean yourself off and grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, dampening a clean cloth with the solution.

“Here. It’s got some peroxide on it,” you tell him as you reenter the bedroom, tossing the rag his way. He catches it easily, dabbing it over himself, careful to not snag it on any of his loose skin. While he’s busy doing that, you snatch up his discarded white shirt and sling it over your head. He looks at you and scoffs.

“What’s wrong with yours?” he asks, tossing the cloth onto the floor.

“Yours looked better,” you inform him, returning to his side and leaning close. He rolls his eyes at you and you shift into his open lap, straddling his hips. Grinning, you kiss at his neck again, sneaking a few groans from him. Sighing as you give him a particularly hard nip, he bats you off of him, tumbling you down to the sheets.

“Give me a fucking minute,” he complains, shaking his head as you wrap around him, pulling him into your arms. Once he’s settled onto the bed you turn, pressing your back to his chest, relaxing into the familiar hold. He snorts, amused by your sudden change of mind.

Dabi lowers his forehead to the back of your head, a small smile rising along his lips. Your breathing evens out and he listens to the sound, trying to memorize each little detail of you.

Yeah, this is it, he tells himself as he drifts off. The rest is just extra. Oh, it’s nice, to be sure, but this, this right here is what he really wants.

Notes: Soft, soft Dabi. I like him like this ꒰ ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱ ˖°

Tags: @evesmores, @spicy-skull, @xwildskullx

#dabi #toya todoroki #i can put that #like omg #bnha smut #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #toya x reader #toya x y/n #toya x you #tw: blood #tw: gore #tw: dabi #tw: heat play #answered asks #asks

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bokutobaes · 4 years

Note

I loved the bad day hc it was so gooood🥺 can I get a hc (w the same boys👀) of ur first night over their house?? Bet Atsumu snores like a freight train lmao😭😭😭

first night at the inarizaki boys house :p

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆- with: suna, atsumu, kita

☆- no warnings!

☆- a/n: this request was soo cute i had so much fun writing this🥺thank u for requesting i really hope you like it <33 and im so happy u enjoyed the bad day headcanons

authors: lu and sen <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆- suna:

-you were in fact enjoying a nice saturday in your room, pixie lights strung, your favourite show playing and you in a warm fuzzy blanket. it was bliss

-until.. the vibration of your phone shook you from the scene you were watching, and who else would call you on a saturday at 1am

-“hello?”

-“hey”

-“uh whats up”

-“wanna come over.. to sleep”

-“suna- it’s one o clock in the morning”

-“so?”

-“so why would i-”

-“i miss you..”

-your heart just exploded from the fact he just said that

-“say no more okay i’ll be there in 10”

-“okay :)” you could hear suna’s smirk from his voice

-you’d snuck out before in your first year of high school just to hangout with some friends so you knew the basics

-you left a note to your parent(s) saying that you went to a friends house early in the morning because she had a boyfriend emergency

-the things u do for suna🙄

-the way to sunas wasn’t long, he only lived a few streets away so you packed a bag, threw on your comfiest cutest sweats and headed on down

-when you got there suna was already at the door leaning against the frame with his hands stuffed in his black hoodie

-“hi”

-“hi.” he hugged you, “come on it’s cold out” then he grabbed your wrist and with a finger on his lips telling u to tip toe and whisper you headed to his bedroom

-now, you’d definitely been to sunas bedroom before to hangout after school and study and whatnot

-but it now dawned on you that you’ve never stayed the night

-heat rushed to your cheeks

-“so where am I gonna sleep”

-“here?” he said

-“where?”

-“in my bed. you’re sleeping in my bed.”

-“suit yourself, but I kick people in my sleep”

-he scoffed, “and I’ll kick you back tf”

-you guys hopped in the bed and just immediately went on your phones

-but you were in one of those close ass positions where you could see what was on eachothers screens

-so you exchanged tik toks and tweets

-the night was filled with you both trying so hard not to laugh out loud

-you guys rambled on for a long time after seeing a post about astrology

-“i don’t get it.. your saying i’ll be in a bad mood on the 5th of next month because mercury is in gatorade.?”

-did he really just disrespect retrograde like that

-once it was getting really late your eyes started feeling heavy

-you switched your phone off and snuggled deeper into suna’s chest

-you were basically hugging eachother

-suna yawned

-“goodnight y/n”

-“goodnight rin”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆- atsumu:

-you were already at atsumu’s house, you’d walked there together after school to spend the friday together

-currently you were in osamu’s room with the twins playing “winning eleven”

-why they were so obsessed with this game? you do not know

-but right now you were being betrayed by atsumu

-he told you he’d “go easy on you” since you’ve never played before

-then just abandoned that idea

-“atsumu wtf your not even going a smidge easy on me”

-“hey it’s not my fault yer skills are lacking baby”

-ur about to punch him

-“ok then here” you hand your remote to osamu and cross ur arms scooching away from atsumu

-“wait heyyy hey don’t be like that I was joking” he paused the game

-osamu was literally on his phone at this point

-he smushed your cheeks and you rolled your eyes

-“what time even is it?”

-“10:43” osamu drawled

-“omg it’s late i have to go soon”

-atsumu got up and told you to come his room so you waved to osamu and headed out

-“stay the night”

-“really?”

-“yes really please i don’t want you to leave yet”

-🥺🥺🥺

-“awww tsumu”

-“SHUTUP! are you gonna stay”

-“yes I’ll stay” <3

-he took your face in his hands and kissed you all over

-you shot your parent a text saying you were sleeping at your friends house and then sat on the bed where atsumu was already sprawled out watching something on his phone

-“i don’t have a toothbrush”

-“there’s an extra in the bathroom babe”

-“i don’t have clothes”

-he looked at you

-“i have clothes”

-“aww are you gonna give me your hoo-“

-“nvm go home now”

-LOL

-it was already almost midnight after you had watched some movies on his bed

-you guys got up and brushed ur teeth together

-“next time you’re gonna sleep at my house instead and we’re gonna do face masks”

-you though about tsumu in a panda sheet mask and laughed to yourself

-when you were done washing your face he asked if he could put the moisturizer on for you

-so you sat up on the counter and he was being so gentle🥺 just looking at you

-your cheeks starting feeling hot and atsumu noticed

-“oh embarrassed now are we?” his stupid smirk plastered on his face

-“shutup tsumu” you looked down smiling

-it was half past 12 when you guys finally got in bed and you were honestly tired since it was the end of the week

-atsumu squeezed you tightly from behind and was playing with your hair

-it knocked you out

-“g’night baby”

-“goodnignt tsum”

-(you were not prepared for the snoring that came out of him at 2am but you loved him anyways)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆- kita:

-this sleepover with kita was actually planned by the two of you

-you wanted to spend time together outside of school and you thought this was a nice idea

-you came over a little before dinner and he was cooking when you got there

-“hi!” you said walking in through the kitchen door

-“hi love” he stopped stirring a pot on the stove and came over to hug you

-he kissed your forehead and asked how you are

-(like he didn’t ask you 1 hour again when you were texting)

-you ate dinner with kita and his grandma, she told stories about kita when he was younger embarrassing him but making you awww out loud

-after dinner you headed to his room, you’d put on something to watch but it ended up just being background noise in a conversation you were having

-“y/n.. did you wanna sleep in the spare bedroom? i want to make sure you’re comfortable”

-“its okay babe i don’t mind sleeping with you”

-so you both were on his bed just looking out the window together, now that it was later you’d switched from watching tv to sharing earphones and looking out the window at the stars

-a song came on, something soft and gentle playing through your ears

-“wanna dance?” kita said looking at you with a smile

-heart combusted

-“of course”

-you got up and he grabbed your hip, hand in hand you two just swayed slowly looking at eachother

-both your cheeks burned but you were so happy that you were here with him right now

-now you’d been dancing for a few minutes and your face was in the crook of his neck

-you were both starting to get a bit tired but then you remembered the face masks you’d brought in your bag

-“kita..! we should do face masks”

-“face masks?”

-“yep! i brought some. let’s go”

-leading him to the bathroom you started to put the sheet mask on him

-the fox imprint on the mask made you laugh being on kitas face

-you two looked so silly, a fox and a panda in pyjamas on a saturday night

-after taking a few photos the masks were done and you washed up for bed together

-it felt like taking a look into the future

-soo domestic

-sleep came really easy that night, you lay on kitas chest and rambled for a bit before you noticed he had fallen asleep

-poor bb probably tired from volleyball practice

-you fell asleep soon after right after kissing him on the cheek

#suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna x you #atsumu x you #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #kita x reader #kita x you #kita x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #hq hcs #haikyuu #bokubae!hcs #lu!writes #sen!writes

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hwrryscherry · 4 years

Text

The one where Anne teaches Model Y/N how to make gingerbread cookies.

blurb: Model Y/N never baked gingerbread cookies before and she has no idea how to do it, so as Anne is teaching her Harry realizes how good the relationship of his girl and his mother is and also, he gives model Y/N her first mistletoe kiss later at night.

warning: fluff, smut and more fluff Harry because we love it.

word count: 7.2K

author's note: DAY 2 of Christmas Special is here!!!! What are you guys thinking so far? I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am. Also, I must admit I’m a little nervous to post this because it’s the first smut I ever posted so yep, i’m a little nervous and I apologize if that’s the worst smut you’ve ever read lol, I just wanted to try. Anyway make sure you find the holiday spirits and start celebrating, I hope this helps♥️♥️

christmas song of the day: Like It's Christmas by Jonas Brothers.

December 21st, 2020.

After sleeping for a good number of hours from basically 7 AM until the current time that was 12:19 PM, you'd feel a sharp cold air running through your skin making you wake up, not fully, but enough to see that Harry had took all the blanket to his body leaving you uncovered. Neither of you actually had taken a shower or changed clothes when you arrived because the urge of laying in a bed was all you really wanted to do after traveling for 20 hours straight and the jeans were probably the one thing that kept you from waking up some hours earlier.

Anne noticed that you both were home when she woke up and saw that all brownies were gone. She walked her way carefully to the only room that wasn’t occupied when she arrived and came across you and Harry sleeping on the king-sized bed under that heavy white blanket extremely appropriate for the weather outside. Harry had his body very close to yours, by the way. The older woman admired the scene a little, she thought to herself that after some complicated relationships that generated the boy's music and also three Grammy nominations, he had finally found someone like you. Someone who brought him nothing but peace. She could see in the boy's eyes, in his voice and even in his appearance that he was genuinely happy. That he was excited about what life would bring him. Harry was Anne's little boy. It had always been like this and it always will be, he called her every day and they usually spend hours talking about how things were going. Harry asked about Gemma, asked about his family in general and she informed him with all the details, and then when she asked how you were, he’d spent a long time talking about you to her. And she adored you, she adored you for knowing that you loved and cared for her little boy but she also loved you for being an incredible person. And two Christmases ago when you met her you were so nervous, terrified would be the right word. Harry told you that you had nothing to worry about and that she already liked you, but how can you not worry? It was Anne. But being nervous about meeting new people was something yours. The first time you had met Gemma, which was on the New Year's trip to Ibizain 2017 that you and Harry had before you started dating, in fact Gemma told you that he was not being "just" friendly’’on that trip. Anyway, when Christmas 2018 came and you had to go to Holmes Chapel you were nervous to meet Gemma again. You previously knew her as your friend's sister, now you’d know her as your boyfriend's sister and that was a big thing.

Anne didn't stay long at the bedroom door, of course. And a few hours later when that cold wind ran through your skin and you woke up, you used your hand to try to pull the blanket over your body again but your tall and heavy boyfriend was completely wrapped around it like a cocoon.

— Harry! — You whined with your eyes closed as you tried to pull it, but the man didn't move, not even a muscle. At this moment, you already knew that you were wide awake and wouldn’t sleep anymore, so you decided to get up. You then put your two feet covered by cozy socks on that dark wooden floor and got up from the bed slowly. You passed both of your hands over your face as you approached the big glass window and could see the sky extremely clean and blue and all that white snow everywhere. On the ground, in the mountains completely covered with snow, on top of the roofs of other houses and even on top of cars that were left on the street and not in the garage. You really felt like you were in winter wonderland.

You took a deep breath and started walking to the suite bathroom and were amazed at how beautiful it really was. Like the rest of the house, it had the floor and walls made of wood but it also had some parts of the wall painted white. There was a long mirror on the wall of the sink that spanned the entire length of the counter, which there was a grayish blue color. It had a bathtub that was in by a window and in front of a painted picture of the mountains in the fall.

You walked back to the bedroom approaching your handbag where you took your toiletry bag and walked again to the bathroom. You placed the small bag over the sink and opened it instantly taking a hair clip inside it and then using your hands to join your strands of hair to be able to pin them with the clip. So you immediately brushed your teeth deciding that you would go into the shower and take a long and hot shower actually.

You had already undressed, but cover your body with a white cotton robe that you had brought for after showering. You were looking through your suitcase that was on top of the dresser next to the bathroom door open in front of you while you chose the clothes you would wear today for after you actually shower. As you took one of the baggy jeans, you had put in the suitcase. You felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, as you looked at them to see the little cross tattoo on his hand, you felt his hot breath close to your neck as he used his other hand to move your hair to the other side of your neck to give you a peck in it.

— Good morning, I can see you're rested — You'd say feeling the boy's warm lips slowing moving against your jaw and the spot under your ear that gave you goosebumps towards all of your body causing Harry to open up a smirk, which you could feel perfectly over your skin. He just knew, he knew your body so well at this point to know all of your sweet spots but he still is quite determined to find new ones.

— I am, but ye' look tired! — Harry whispered next to your ear as he started using his hands to slowly move the robe off your shoulders so he could see the skin of your neck, shoulders and collarbone exposed in front of him. You'd frown your eyebrows at his words trying to understand what he was trying to say and just when you were going to talk, you'd feel Harry's rough fingertips slide softly over your collarbone — And as I'm such a good boyfriend, I should relax ye', shouldn't I? — Harry would say, his voice deep and rough as he took his right hand up to your neck so he could hold your jaw to move your head to the side just a little to give him more space to kiss your neck again. Now moving his lips lightly as he used his tongue to suck on the sensitive skin, being careful to not leave any marks, even though he wanted to so much. He wanted to mark that pretty neck of yours, so everyone knew that you were his, and only his.

You'd roll your eyes at the feeling of your whole body becoming hot from the sensation he was gifting you to. You'd move your head a little as a successful try to free yourself from Harry's grip so you could turn around to face him. You'd kiss the boy's tempting lips immediately as you put your body closer to his feeling the boy use one of his hands to cup your face and the other one to your waist squeezing it as he brought your body even closer to his.

Once both of you accepted the heat of the moment, Harry would slide his hands to the back of your thighs lifting you up and carrying you to walk to the huge bed you had in your room. You'd cross your legs on his waist to hold you from falling as now disconnecting your lips to start kissing his jaw and then going down his neck feeling the small growing hair tickle your face a little because even thought he had shaved his beard two days ago it was already making its way back.

Harry’d put you lying in bed, just getting on top of you while he felt the wonderful feeling of your tongue sucking on his neck, maybe you weren't being as careful as him about the "no leaving marks" rule but at this moment Harry didn’t care, and he knew that if the mark shows up he would smirking show it around the house so everybody could know what you guys were doing earlier in the room.

You used your body to switch positions and now stay on top. Harry’s back was now on the mattress, while he took his hands to the band that held your robe, well, it held more or less since because of all the action it was almost out of your body now. He pulled the fabric and slid the robe out of your body, leaving you completely exposed in front of him. He would be stunned for a moment because it doesn't matter how many times he saw you naked. It feels like the first time, every time. He’d still admire any stain, any stretch mark, any cellulite, any part of skin that was present on your body because he finds you perfect just the way you are. Anyway, your knees would rest on either side of his hips, and your butt would be specifically on top of his now, growing boner that was covered on his jeans from yesterday. You'd feel him swallow hard when you'd pass your delicate lips over his throat and slid your hands to pull his goddamn shirt out of his body getting a perfect vision of his tattooed chest and arms. You'd softly run your fingertips through his butterfly tattoo to the two tattoos a little up the beginning of his jeans feeling his skin get chills under your fingers and feeling the urge between your legs get higher as you'd feel his boner getting harder under you and his big hands sliding through your naked back.

Harry would kiss your lips again, moving his tongue with yours feeling how your mouth tastes. He would suck and bite your lips as he teased you delicately moving through our body touching it slowly, as he caressed the sides of your body, the whole length of your back and hips feeling how incredibly hot you were now. Your body was on fire. He'd hold the back of your head's hair with one hand as his tongue would slowly circle on your skin as he dowered his lips from your neck, to your collarbone, your chest, until he'd get to your breasts where he’d kiss carefully the extension of your breast before sucking on your nipple putting it entirely on his mouth. You'd throw your head behind to let out a grasp and a low moan of his name as you felt his hot tongue around your sensitive nipple. "Harry", he likes it. He likes the way his name leaves your mouth, specially on situations like this when he could feel your breathing and your heart beating faster. Where he could feel the intimacy of being this close to you and to know that he’s the one who’s been touching you in places that nobody could and he planned that nobody else would ever do. Only him. He planned on being the only one to give you all this sensation, to be the only one to make you rolls your eyes of pleasure and shake under his body into yours. He’d wouldn’t give this intimacy away for anyone.

Harry's fingers would squeeze your hips harshly as he felt you unconsciously starting to move it against his boner. You’d hear a groan leave the boy's lips at the feeling of himself getting so turned on that his jeans were starting to tighten. He’d slid his hand down your stomach to your bare core, feeling how soaked you were for him so he’d take a finger and starts rubbing it slowly against your clit making you let out a confederative quite loud moan at the friction of his finger at your swollen clit, you needed more. You wanted more. Harry would look up to your red blushed face with closed eyes right before you’d lay your head on his shoulder to drown out the slightly pornografics sounds that left your throat.

— I can see ye' getting more relaxed, darlin' — He'd promiscuously comment with a smirk on his face feeling your hot breath on his exposed neck — You gotta be quiet, petal! D' ye' want everyone to know how good you're being on your relaxing moment? I'd think you'd rather keep it private. I'm very surprised — Harry would joke, then you'd guide your delicate hands to the buttons of his pants, unbuttoning as fastly as you could — Rushing, aren’t we? — Harry would say feeling a relief as you unbuttoned his pants and released its length. You'd stand up in the moment Harry'd say this indicating to him to take of his pants, and he did, throwing it at some corner of the room as you'd get back over the guy putting both of your hands on each side of his cheeks cupping them.

— I think you'll be the next one to be rushing! — You'd whisper as a smirk formed on your lips when you approached Harry's face kissing his lips roughly, full of passion and desire. You'd move one of your hands down the man's body playing for a while with the edges of his underwear until you took it completely off to see his hard length chilling on his lower belly. You'd carefully grab it with your hand with slow grinding twists, your thumb moving on his tip, and it’s Harry moaning your name lowly now as his head fell back on the pillow with closed eyes and parted lips over the pleasure you were giving him. He'd positioned his palms on either side of your hips trying to bring it down to give him any kind of friction that he desperately needed.

— Rushing, aren't we? — You'd now joke positioning yourself by the tip of his length letting out a grasp at the feeling. Harry'd chuckle at your words that was previously his. You'd slowly dig your hips into his length making your lips part at the huge pleasure.

He would use his hand to help you move your hips against him. And he’s not sure what he should focus on, if it's the feeling of your wet core moving against him, or how pretty you looked with blushed cheeks and sweat over your forehead.

Harry'd wrap both his arms around your exposed back and changes your position making himself be on top of you as he started to move his hips against yours at a quick pace washing your body in complete pleasure. His thrusts were deep and harsh as he continually hits your spot making it 10 times harder for you to keep it low. He positioned his one hand on gripping her right wrist above your head tightens it’s hold and he slid his other hand to your leg taking it to pull it higher to get a new angle. His grip on your legs tightens as he feels his abdomen starts clenching with the new sensation.

— Tell me… tell me how much you want this… — Harry would say as you let out low moans to the sensation washing all over your body. He can feel it. He feels your muscles shaking from pleasure under him, and he could feel you tighten around his length as the knot in your stomach continued to grow. Harry lets go of your wrist and moves his hand to your core to use his finger to stimulate your swollen clit increasing your pleasure.

— Harry — You'd whine taking your hand to the boys hair pulling it softly as you leaned ahead a little to distribute kisses through his broad shoulders — Pl..please — As you said that, sounding so desperate for him, his jaw locked as his eyes clenched tight making his entire body goes rigid, and his mouth to fall open while a deep moan left his throat as you felt Harry’s body to fall over yours as you tried to catch your breath and so did him.

— Did so good for me, darlin'. — He'd kiss your collarbone right before removing himself from you and you'd stay this way for a while. Just catching your breath as you reminiscing the moment, you both had until you sat on the bed making Harry see the view of your naked back to him covered by your long strands of hair, he would take his hand to your lower back and caress it gently.

— I'm going to take a shower, your mother must already be thinking that we died in here! — You said letting out a chuckle while getting up from the bed looking for your robe on the bedroom floor. When you found it closer to the big window next to the bed, you bent down to pick it up and hold it in your hands while you made your way to the bathroom leaving the door open.

— Look... I hope her room isn’t next door, if it is she certainly knows that we are alive. — Harry said with a playful tone also standing up from the bed walking to where you were in the bathroom.

— God, don't even joke about it — You’d say with wide eyes, and then looking at the sight of you in the big bathroom mirror seeing how sweaty your hair had gotten — I'll have to wash my hair again — You opened the glass door of the shower cabin by turning the hot water valve on the shower, walking back to the sink where you had left your belongings to get the shampoo and conditioner.

— Don't worry, I'll happily wash it for you! — Harry said placing a quick kiss on the top of your head with a smirk on his lips and soon after walking into the shower feeling the hot water fall down his back releasing any remaining tension from his muscles.

You would smile a little at the sight of it before agreeing and going into the shower with him. You would feel completely relaxed now after feeling the hot water fall on you, wetting your hair and your face. You would extend the big bottle of your shampoo to Harry, who’d pick it up by opening the lid and take the bottle closer to his nose to feel the relaxing and sweet smell of lavender invading his nostrils. He would pour some shampoo on his wide hands by rubbing them together and then on your scalp, later unintentionally pulling your hair a little causing you to gasp as you’d take your hand to touch his on your head.

— Oh my god, I said you could wash it and not get it out of my head! — You said with a playful tone making Harry chuckle and whisper a slight "sorry''. You turned around with the boy's hands still in your hair so you could face him. You could see that Harry was focused on your hair with his eyebrows drawn together and his lips squeezed into a line. You, on the other hand, ran your fingertips gently over his chest. Drawing the shape of his tattoos and then seeing the bonus nipples that he has.

— You know what, I think it's really cute that you have four nipples! — You said causing Harry to laugh out loud and you look at the boy's face focusing on his dimples appearing — What? — You’d say with a smile on your face, and then entering again with your head under the water after the boy's signal that you could rinse your hair now.

— Nothing, it's just not cute! It's weird actually! — Harry'd say putting a little of shampoo on his hair as well. His gorgeous hair, you could look at it all day long actually. When the Golden music video came out you freaked so much about how gorgeous his hair looked in it.

— It's just that I have peculiar tastes. You wouldn't understand. — You said with your eyebrows raised in the most sassy tone of voice you could do. That’s not true, not at all. It’s just that you loved everything about Harry, there wasn’t a universe or a time when you wouldn’t think he looks completely stunning.

— Oh yes, forgive my small brain for being unable to understand your deepest thoughts — Harry said returning your sass while he approached you to also rinse his hair now.

In general, you were grateful to have had many moments together this year. Moments where you could talk without interruption, where you could play and laugh without feeling that the world was watching your every step. Being a public figure and dating another public figure could be difficult at times but you and Harry have always managed to get through all the difficulties together. And let's agree that getting out of the shower wrapped in towels, with wet skin and hair, selecting the song Don't Stop me now by Queen in your Spotify app and dancing in front of the mirror was a moment to definitely cherish and never forget.

You prefered to keep yourselves comfortable when choosing which clothes to wear and you’d chose the baggy jeans you had chosen earlier, a white dress shirt and a red sweater over the shirt along with your white sneakers that you take everywhere with you just like Harry does with his vans. When you put your hand on the door handle, you’d feel Harry pull your other hand to get you closer to him. He cupped your cheeks as he leaned to give you a sweet kiss before you'd go out. It's not that he doesn't want to go out and see his family. He did; he missed those people and spending time with them would be more than he needed, but he was also reluctant to open that door and leave the comfortable and private space that you both created in that room. When he had moved your faces away, he’d sigh and remove his hands from your cheeks and collect them for himself.

— Okay, now I'm ready! — He’d say softly making you smile tenderly at him and open the door leaving the room. You both could notice that there was no one in the halls which made you deduce that they were all downstairs.

You and Harry would go down the dark wooden stairs paying attention to the details of the house that was extremely decorated for Christmas. Honestly, it looked like Santa's own workshop. Harry had an arm around your shoulders and you kept your arm around his waist. Like you, Harry was wearing a wine red oversized sweater, which was actually quite cozy and you could feel it just by touching the fabric.

Upon reaching the floor below, you could see Gemma and Michal sitting on the sofa in the living room doing nothing more than that thing where you put popcorn and some other candies on the string. Why were they doing this? You had no idea, but it was what they were doing for some reason. You quickly looked away at the clock over the fireplace trying to see the time, but you couldn't, it's very difficult to be a myopic.

Gemma would look away from the string to the two of you right after stepping on the first floor as she felt your presence in the room. She opened a huge smile on her face at the sight of both of you because you happened to not meet each other earlier.

— Look, the lovebirds woke up! — She’d say in a loud and lively tone with her strong and cute british accent as she got up from the sofa leaving her piece of string on the coffee table with Michal. You also saw the figures of your mothers leaving the kitchen with big smiles on their faces. Your mother and Anne got along very well and you even think that your mother's english improved a lot after they met, even though the two of you never spoke in English with each other. You’d remember that when she came to US with you, she could barerly say ‘’hello’’ and look at her now having full conversations.

Gemma would accelerate her step as she got closer to you and instantly wrap you in a strong hug.

— Hi! — You'd say hugging her back tightlyand then you and Harry would alternate hugging and greeting everyone. When you hugged Anne, she hugged you so tight, like she was showing all of her love for you in that hug. She would be stroking your hair and inhaling the perfume that Harry bought for you yesterday in New York. When you’d step back, you would basically run into your mother's arms that was shorter than you, wrapping her tightly in your arms while you heard Anne hug Harry calling him "mommy's little boy", which he was.

— We apologize for being late, there were technical problems! — You’d say referring to the situation where you and Harry overslept and missed the flight without specifically explaining why you missed it.

— Exactly! — Harry said, holding his laugh because only you both knew the despair you felt that morning when you realized that you were extremely late, but it was quite an adventure. Harry’d take a deep breath, running his ringed hand through his strands of hair, throwing that stubborn streak of hair away from his forehead — We’ll tell you the details later, now explain to me what this is all about! — Harry said turning around pointing to all that popcorn that Gemma and Michal were giving their attention to a few minutes ago, causing Anne to laugh briefly.

— We’re cooking now, we didn't want to go out and do things without you! — Anne said taking a few steps back and pointing to the kitchen, which made the curious asses of you and Harry to walk next to her seeing the kitchen yourselved. You could notice that they were cooking from the dishes on the sink and from the ver pleasent scent that you could smell coming from the oven. You’d put a lock of your hair behind your ear and then look at the group of people again.

— Uh, and what are you cooking? Can we help or is it an activity only for those who arrive on time? — You asked ironically making fun of yourself.

— It is an activity only for those who arrived early! — Gemma'd say with her raised eyebrows, mocking you and Harry, which made the girl's brother look at her with the most falsely offended look he could peform now.

— She’s joking. Gemma! — Anne would say scolding her daughter even though she was joking and she knew it because Gemma loved you, and you two had a great relationship. You always called each other and exchanged messages and when you were in person together you’d always go out to do something fun and have a girls' night which even made Harry a little jealous sometimes but in general he was very pleased knowing that his sister loved his girlfriend — Well, your mom was teaching me how to make brazilian chicken pie and then we were going to make Christmas gingerbread cookies. You both should come with us!

— Sure, but I have no idea on know how to bake gingerbread cookies! — You’d say softly looking at the shorter woman and then at Harry as he’d say that he also didn’t know how to. The woman looked shocked, not about you, she understood your case because baking gingerbread cookies aren’t a thing in Brazil but Harry? She felt offended. She was quite sure she'd taught the boy before even though he claims that she didn't.

And after some minutes of argumentations on wether she taught him or not, you'd finally make your way to the kitchen. And you'd confess it was one of the prettiest kitchens you'd ever seen, and you could actually say it because the kitchen is your favorite place in every house so you've seen plenty of them. And yes, you and Harry were there in the morning but you couldn't actually pay attention to the details because all you could think about was a long sleep on a comfy bed. You'd pay attention to the big glass window now. The window that reflected the sun's light on the large navy blue island and stone based wall. It was stunning, completely stunning. You would slide your right hand to the stone on top of the island and then lean in on Harry's chest as you felt the taller guy standing behind you. He'd wrap his arms around your waist resting his head on top of your head as you both watched his mother getting all the ingredients herself and Gemma and Michal entering the kitchen.

— I wouldn't mind not helping... — Harry'd whisper as he leaned his lips next to your ear as you felt his hot breath against your skin — I wanted to watch all Home Alone movies and then pretend like it's the first time! — He'd complement making you let out a low chuckle over the boy's argument. The thing is, you and Harry created a tradition for christmas, and thinking now, you'd have a lot of traditions for a lot of things, but anyway, you both have the tradition of chosing one day of christmas week to watch all three Home Alone movies laid on the couch wrapped on cozy blankets, eating some snacks and actually reacting to the movie as it was the first time you'd watch it because I mean, we can all agree that Home Alone is the best christmas movies and it should be treated as its prize, and honestly, every year when you'd watch it, you'd probably notice something new that you haven't noticed on the past times.

— We can watch it after the cookies! — You'd move your head a little to the side as you whispered to him back to him. You’d positionate your hands over his to play with his big cold rings on his fingers.

— No, love. You're not getting it — Harry would say with a very straight face as you tried to control yourself over your boyfriend's drama. It's not like you won't watch the movies, you'll just postpone it but he loved the drama — I wanted to be in the couch now. It's cold in here — He'd say fake shrugging a bit from cold making you give him a big smile while shaking your head

— It's not cold in here, there's a heater in the house! It's just you — You'd argue looking directly at his emerald green eyes that looked extremely green today by the way. It’s the little details for you.

— Exactly! — Harry’d whisper a little bit louder now with his eyebrows raised as he tried to expose his point — If we were in the couch now, I wouldn't be cold because we would be cuddling, please understand my point.

— You're such a drama queen. I promise we'll watch it. We can even watch it with everyone on the living room, but I want to eat the cookies and I’ll feel bad to not help your mom — You'd say moving your head to the side a little so you could peck the boy on his lips. His sweet, small and cute lips that you loved to admire whenever he talked.

— Alright kids so... — Anne would start saying as she turned around finishing to put all of the ingredients on the island being interrupted by Gemma when she’d notice both of you actions.

— HEY! — Gemma would shout at you and Harry making both of you to immediately part your lips and look at her — No kissing on the kitchen, focus on the cookies...Jeez, get a room! — She'd tease both of you. She's probably you guys biggest shipper in the world and her heart melted when she'd see moments like this where she could feel the love and happiness in the air. — I want the cookies to be done in a few hours and this will distract you guys.

— You know what they say, right? Bake with love! — Harry'd say with a smirk on his lips as he loosened his arms around you so you could walk to be beside Anne’s now, looking at all the ingridients on the counter thinking to yourself that even though you both are great bakers this could go really wrong.

— Yes, bake with love not bake while making love — Gemma’d say with a sweet smile on her face as she winked an eye at you both when she’d hear you laugh. It was mostly a nervous laugh. Is her room beside yours? Honestly, you didn’t even want to think about this now because you’d blush and wouldn’t focus on learning how to make the cookies.

Anne grabbed her glasses and a small paper from her recipe book as you

you gathered all your hair on the top of your head and with the help of a hair tie tied it in a ponytail. Anne had a specific notebook full of loose leaves with some amazing recipes that you loved and would often ask her for a picture of some recipe that you wanted to try and then you guys would probably face time each other as she’d give you instructions on the recipe and it’d usually be really nice to spend this time together.

It was 1:55 PM now and you saw it this time when you took your phone off your pocket and gave Harry asking him to put it the big dinner table that it has in the kitchen. In the recipe, it said that it would take around four hours and thirty minutes to complete the recipe so the cookies would be ready by the sunset probably. You walked to the sink, where you rolled up your sweater sleeves and washed yourr hands while looking at the view of the snow-covered mountains through the window in front of you. When you’d turn around, you’d see Harry sit on the table with Gemma and Michal scrolling through his phone as he asnwered some texts in it.

— What the hell? You’re not helping? — You’d ask him placing your palms on the bench bringing Harry's attention to you as he immediately stopped typing. He’d be silent for a few minutes trying to find a good excuse as to why he was too lazy to help.

— Well, no — Harry would say calmly while looking at your face — But see, I won’t help because I think that not having my help will help you to have a nice moment with your favorite mother-in-law.

— Do I have another mother-in-law that I’m not aware about? — You’d ask after letting a chuckle out causing Anne to laugh and ask her son if he had any other lost mother walking around.

— Y/N, focus on the cookie and the nice time with your mother in law! — Harry’d say laughing at himself and turning his attention to his phone again while Anne handed you an extremely cute personalized Christmas apron that she had brought from London and helped you tie it to your body.

— We should put some christmas songs to give that christmas spirit — Gemma said as she fiddled with her own phone.

— Wow yes! Michal, can ye’ please take the Alexa I brought from my room? — Harry asked his sister's boyfriend who agreed and got up from the table asking him where the device was — Oh, it's in Y/N’s bag, the bag that is on top of the dresser, other than the suitcase — Harry would give him the instructions and then focus on his phone again as the man left. It didn't take long for Michal to return with the small device though, and then Harry asked Alexa to play his christmas playlist that started with ''Santa Claus is Comin 'to Town' 'by Frank Sinatra.

— Alright my dear, let’s start! Take that small bowl over there for me please — Anne would ask, and you’d start to make it. In a small bowl, she’d tell you to whisk together the perfect amount of flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, and then cloves until well blended. Later, you’d take a large bowl and add the beat butter that she made while you were whisking the dry ingredients together. You’d add brown sugar and egg on medium speed until well blended. While you continued to blend it, she’d add molasses, vanilla, and lemon zest and continue to mix until well blended. Gradually, you’d stir in dry ingredients until blended and smooth. She would let you divide the dough in half and wrap each half in plastic and then tell you that you’d have to wait at least two hours so the dough could be ready.

While you were waiting for the dough, Gemma took the UNO cards she had brought and you all started to play together. Of all the things you did to kill time, your favorite would probably be playing UNO. Even if there was a lot of shouting when someone forgot to say '' UNO '' when it was just holding a card left, or when someone told the other person to add four more cards to its deck. The point is that probably with the number of times that you played this game, you added thirty more new rules that were not in the original rules of the game but it was these new rules that were fun and made you laugh out loud while playing. You were very good though, and you always finished your cards first which made Harry faithfully believe that you cheat in the game in some way and that would make him indignant.

You would play faithfully for two hours without even noticing that time has passed and then when Anne returned to the kitchen saying that the two hours had passed, you put your cards on the table and went back to the counter while they continued to play, but Harry didn't pay as much attention to the game as he did when you played alongside him.

Anne would preheat the oven to 375 deg while you’d prepare the baking sheets by lining with parchment paper. She would place one portion of the dough on a lightly floured surface and sprinkle flour over dough and the rolling pin as she’d give the rolling pin to you. As you rolled the dough, Harry paid attention to the way his mother carefully taught you and how you’d take her advices so openly to learn, if he didn’t know both of you, he would tell that you were mother and daughter because he’d never had any of his girlfriends to get along so well with his family before as you did and that’d honestly warm his heart. With so many years on the public eye, Harry learned the importance of his family and how important it was for him to receive their support in everything he decided to do and he’d in moments like this where he can see how his family loves you, the sensation that you were the one for him only grew more on his chest. He would smile openly at you when you show him the cute gingerbread man that you just cut with the dough. He’d appreciate your smile and how such little things actually made you the happiest.

In the past months in quarantine, Harry has been thinking about taking the next step in your relationship. You both would celebrate your 3rd anniversary on January 8th of 2021, and he’d feel like it’s the right time to do it because even though he knows that you don’t really believe that a piece of paper saying that you were married would change your relationship, he wanted that. He wanted to go around town being able to call you his wife. He couldn’t wait for a time when this would be a thing for both of you and that’s why later on that night when you’d finish baking the cookies and probably eaten way too many cookies and completely fall asleep on his chest while you all were watching Home Alone in the couch, he’d talk to his mom about how he’s been feeling and he’d be very content about the support she’d give him. ‘’She’s the one, my love! Do what your heart tells you to do’’, she’d tell him.

You’d wake up a few minutes later, though, when he tried to take you to your room. This time, when you turned the corridor out of the stairs to walk to your room, you would notice nothing more and nothing less than a mistletoe hanging from the wooden beam above your head and would stop walking immediately while Harry continued, and then he stopped and looked at you with a curious look on his face.

— What you’re doing? — He'd ask by releasing the door handle and walking closer to you.

— It's a mistletoe! — You said pointing upwards without taking your eyes off the mistletoe above your heads.

— Oh, it is! I hadn't noticed! — Harry said raising his head so that he could see the mistletoe you pointed with your finger.

— Did you know that I had never kissed under the mistletoe? — You would ask, now looking at him with a smirk on your face and he would then look at you with a wide smile and raising his eyebrows understanding exactly what you were saying.

— Oh, really? But that has to change. The mistletoe is magic of Christmas! — Harry said as he cupped your cheeks with his palms and approached you giving a tender kiss on your lips that had a smile formed in it. And at that moment Harry decided he wanted to kiss you for the rest of his life, whether you were under the mistletoe or not.

#harry and y/n #harry styles and y/n #HARRYxMODELY/N #HARRYxMODELY/NxCHRISTMAS #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years

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ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.

#frog anon #bee anon #peacock anon #subtlerainy #honeymoon anon #bestie mutual #honeypot anon #turtle anon #butterfly anon #tea anon #ladybug anon #anon anon #poker face anon #puzzle pieces anon #snail anon #good lord i think i got more anons about this than about anything else before lmao #good luck to anybody who actually reads this <3

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commanderserwin · 4 years

Text

starting over again.

↦ pairing(s): erwin smith x reader

↦ word count: 4.3k

↦ anon request:

I just wanna say that I really appreciate your writing!!! I love how you put in little details that just ties the whole story. I hope you're well! (If it's okay and not too much work on you, i'd like to request a scenario of Erwin x reader where they fight and then make up later on. You can make it modern au or canon. I am crushing HARD on Erwin lol)

↦ genre(s): modern AU

↦ author’s note(s): anon, i love u. the little details turned into a couple thousand words and here we are! i appreciate you and i hope you’re well too! ♡

ps. enjoy! enjoy! [i had too much fun with this ahh!!!] hope you like it, my anon! sorry to keep you waiting! [starting to think u wanted a different fight & make-up, but this is is what my brain will offer, mwa!]

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“It’s a text.”

“Is it that hard to send one?”

“Why do I even have to?”

“So that I could have a basic idea of where you are?”

“God, we have been together for years.”

“I’m only asking you to text me about your whereabouts.”

Both of you sat at the opposite ends of the couch, staring ahead at the idle television that’s playing a romantic movie— a complete opposite of what is happening. The actors kissed passionately, while you ached for that with him. Because lately, things have been piling up, and up, just waiting for it to all spill until both of you are drowning in unspoken problems. You reached for the remote on the coffee table, shutting down the television to get rid of the jealousy that’s pooling at your stomach.

“I thought we’re watching the movie,” Erwin asked, uncrossing his arms as he reached for the remote on your hand.

“You do that,” you said, clicking the on button as you dropped remote on the couch. “I’m going to bed.”

“Are you tired?”

You could only look at him with wishful eyes, hoping that the years together he could finally see right through your emotions. Tired, physically. Tired, mentally. Tired, of this relationship.

“Yes,” you scoffed, walking towards the bedroom as you peeked through your eyes that Erwin got more comfortable in the couch.

Can’t you reach after me?

Can’t you read me?

Can you whip me around like that stupid romantic scene from the stupid romantic movie that both of you were suppose to watch?

The bed feels lonelier and colder now that he isn’t here. The gap between the two of you have drifted into something larger than even the tips of your fingers and his couldn’t brush anymore. It isn’t there anymore, the emptiness in your heart, the exhaustion of trying to keep everything in check, trying to make everything work because you wanted to hold on to him.

He keeps you afloat, but at the same time, it’s him who makes you feel underwater.

Then it repeats.

Erwin would pad towards the bedroom, his hand hovering over the knob, hesitating if he should sleep with you. He could feel you. He could feel the drought. He could feel the spark fading, even when he tries to keep it alight. He doesn’t know where it went wrong, where it started to fade, where it started to fade into nothing.

He opened the bedroom that he shares with you, his eyes going over your body that was huddled on the opposite side. When it first started, both of you would huddle in the middle; arms wrapped around each other, legs tangled together, hearts beating together— and now. The distance is as wide as it can be. The bed dipped under his weight, his back turned on you, as he cradled his head on his hands.

Erwin gently retreats to his side, laying down as he stares at the ceiling. He turned to face you, seeing your silhouette against the dimmed light, he watched your chest rise up and down, sleeping peacefully. He wanted to touch you, graze his fingers on your skin, feel you... and he reached out.

Then he pulled away his hand.

He heard you sniffle.

Erwin closed his eyes, turning to his side, facing the wall, until the bed shook from your quiet cries.

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In the morning, Erwin would only squeeze your shoulder in passing as he leaves earlier for work.

In the afternoon, Erwin would look at his phone, waiting. His eyes glances over at the computer screen in front of him, then at his phone.

In the evening, Erwin slowly turns the knob over to enter the apartment. It’s empty.

Tonight, the lights are all off as he glanced over at the wall. The clock displayed its hands at 8:00PM, only a few minutes earlier than he would usually be home. You should be too.

He walked towards the kitchen, finding it empty.

He walked towards the bedroom, finding it empty.

He walked towards every door that he could open, finding it empty.

Erwin waited by the couch, his eyes drooping at every minute that passes. Not even the loud action movie could make him open his eyes. His eyes looked back at the clock, 12:00, and he looked at his phone.

No messages.

No calls.

He threw it on the other side of the couch, confusion settling in his chest. If this was your way of payback, it was immature.

You know it was immature.

That’s why Hanji kept glancing at her watch, her eyes going back and forth as she leaned in closer, the immediate smell of alcohol seeping through your mouth as you turned around. Even Levi scrunched his nose when you spoke.

“I think it’s time to head home?”

Hanji asked, placing the coat around your shoulders as her hand pulled you up, but you stayed glued.

“I’ll call Erwin,” Levi muttered, hand going to his phone.

“No!”

Both of them looked at you, your eyes shot and puffy.

“Don’t.”

“Babe, it’s one in the morning,” Hanji cooed, showing you the time on your phone. “You’ve got work.”

“I can call out,” you muttered, hand going up to the bartender.

“She isn’t having any,” Levi said, rummaging through your purse for your credit card. “Just the bill.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“You have to.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Just talk to Erwin,” Levi sighed, placing the card back in your purse.

“I hope it’s that easy.”

“Who said it’ll be easy?” Hanji whispered, leaning her head on your shoulder as you began to cry again.

You have been crying for almost an hour, tears drying and pouring again at every mention of Erwin. In the end, they coerced you to get into the car while Levi drove and Hanji stayed in the back of the car, holding your hand as you sniffled. It was the car ride of your life that you were terrified of getting off.

It’s the constant fight in your heart that makes you want to let go and yet you find yourself scrambling to hold on to the thread that’s keeping the both of you tied. Maybe you were afraid of breaking it off, maybe you were afraid of growing without him, maybe you were afraid of losing him. Maybe it is time to let go, but you haven’t got the strength to do it, because at the end of your grey thoughts; he is the one standing there, waiting for you.

It was your turn for your hand to hover on the knob. It was your turn to be at Erwin’s shoes, hesitant, apprehensive, as you enveloped the bright lights from the living room.

There he was.

“Where have you been?”

Erwin lowered the volume of the television because he can’t bear of only hearing your voice and his to be heard in the room.

“Just out, had a couple of drinks.”

“It’s one in the morning.”

You look up at his blue eyes, not knowing that he now stood in front of you.

“You could’ve texted me.” Erwin pressed.

“Hah,” you huffed, pulling away from his hand as you wobbly walked towards the kitchen for a nice glass of water. You can’t be near him or else you’ll break down.

“Is this about yesterday?”

“No.”

He stayed in the living room, watching you gulp down the water. You haven’t turned your back on him, your eyes away as you stared at the kitchen wall. Fitting how Erwin kept little small printed pictures of the two of you, and you’re directly looking at it. A nice coffee date by the park. His eyes glued to yours, as you looked at the camera.

“Then what is this about?”

“Let it go,” you muttered, gripping the glass.

You finally turned around, staring at Erwin from a couple of feet away.

“I can’t just let it go.”

“Erwin, please,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. Please don’t cry, you thought. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”

“No,” he said, grasping you by the wrist as you tried to pass by him. He isn’t going to bed like this. “Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

You finally stared at his blue eyes, usually finding comfort in them but all you could see was confusion painted. Anger. Betrayal.

You wanted to talk, but you're so scared of what it result in. Of the words that could be said, because you wanted to lie beside him just one last time- or forever, but you are so scared.

"Can we go to bed?" You whispered, breathing hard until you could turn away. "I'm tired, please."

"I heard you crying last night," Erwin said, his eyes looking right at you. His grip softened when your lips quivered as you rubbed your eyes with the other hand. "Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?" Erwin pressed, pulling you to him until you moved a little closer to him.

"Because!" Your voice cracked, pushing him away until you sat on the couch, your hands wet from the way your eyes finally poured their emotions.

Eriwn watch you cry, your shoulders shaking in every breath that you take, your palms wet as you cried into them for minutes. He couldn't help but tear up, finally realizing what this is about. He doesn't want to come to this, but here you are. He let his own tears fall as he watched you, his chest rising up and down as his mind clouded with the only thought he doesn't want to think about.

The drought.

The unspeakable— but it's time to finally voice it out.

"Let's break up."

"What?" You sniffled, wiping away your own tears as you whipped your head to him. He let his tears fall, as he stared.

"Let's break up," Erwin whispered, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch. He stared ahead on the television, finding comfort on the action scenes. "Because this isn't working out. You know it. I do, too."

"Erwin..."

"I'm right, aren't I?" He turned his face to you. His emotions have swam to the ends, feeling nothing as he stared. Until he drowns the all out.

Second turn into seconds turns into minutes. Nobody spoke. Nobody made a move.

Your heart stopping as if this is it. It's ending.

"I don't know where we went wrong," you whispered, wiping your tears away.

"Me too," Erwin agreed, nibbling on his lip. He looked away, chuckling dryly, "We had a good run."

A knife to the heart.

Erwin walked to the door, putting on his shoes as you stood, peeking behind him. You tug on his shirt, making him look at you.

"Where are you going?"

Was it suppose to end like this? It isn't suppose to end like this? The two of you were supposed to work things out, give it a little push, holding on to it until the light is there, until you could see where he was. Not like this. Love is supposed to be like this— the sparks, then here comes the drought.

Love has to be fixed. Love has to be tended. Love has to be thought thoroughly. He keeps you afloat, and little did you know, you did that to him.

He wants to pull you to him, keep you close. It's painful, it's hard, but love is like this. But he is willing to push himself away if you weren't going to catch him.

All of thoughts of breaking up became a blur to him, when he looked at you. He doesn't want to end it. He doesn't want to be away from you. But if this is where the relationship lies, then he'll accept it. All good things comes to an end. Even if he wants to fight tooth and nail to the very ened, but if you don't want it, then what's the use?

"Where are you going?" You asked again. Don't leave, you thought.

"Levi's," he answered, eyes flitting towards yours. "I'll get my things tomorrow."

"Don't go," you quietly said, runching up his shirt that's in your hand. He wrapped his hand over it, softly prying it away as he counted to himself that this is it.

You wrapped your finger around his pinky, throat dry, as you said it again. "Don't go."

Erwin smiled softly, placing his hand over your cheek as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. "You should go to sleep."

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He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He couldn't focus on anything. He couldn't think straight. Always you, you, you. Levi has to drag him off of the bed, ushering him to go to work.

"Get up!" Levi pinched his ear, making him blindly punch Levi.

"No," Erwin groaned.

"It's been a day!"

"Shut up."

"God, you two can't be away from each other."

"We broke up!"

"Like that could happen," Levi groaned, punching Erwin on the arm. "You kept crying about her, just fucking talk to her."

"Like it's that easy."

"No," he punched Erwin again. "Still talk to her. When I come back, I want you gone."

"Where am I going to stay then?"

"Back to your apartment!"

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You couldn't sleep. You couldn't eat. You couldn't focus on anything. You couldn't think straight. Always him, him, him. Hanji has to drag you off of the bed, ushering you to go to work.

"Get up!" Hanji pinched your ear, making you swat away her fingers.

"I don't want to."

"Stop being a baby!" Hanji pinched your ear again. "It's been a day, and here you are! Moping around!"

"We literally just broke up!"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Hanji sighed, slapping your leg as she threw the blanket off. "Like that could happen."

"It literally just did."

"Okay," Hanji groaned, raising her hands. "Whatever you say. Then we’ll see you two being back again."

"Pfft! Get out of my room!”

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It's been weeks.

The apartment still smells like him. His clothes neatly folded in his cabinet, his hoodies strewn in yours, his shoes by the door, his books on the bedside table, his toothbrush, his gel, his towel— everything that was his is still in the apartment.

Its cruel, how it's just daunting you to touch it.

The side of his bed, cold; and here you are, curled up on it like a wounded dog. Blanket covering your whole body, his pillows against cheek, as you squeezed it, wishing for it to be him.

He colored your thoughts in fragments, often wondering how is he doing, is he eating, is he fine. All the questions that you have no answers.

Suddenly, you found yourself scrambling underneath the blanket, throwing it off as you ran for the bathroom.

One hour, or else you'll miss it.

The line in the coffeeshop is long, and yet you still find yourself falling in line for it.

One black coffee, a croissant, and a cheese danish. Or just one croissant? Or just coffee? Fuck it, you bought it all.

Walking towards the building, you grinned at the security guard as he let you in. It was just you in the elevator, and you took a second before clicking the 32nd floor as you balanced the treats on your arms. Your heart is pounding, making you feel dizzy as you leaned on the wall, making you even feel dizzier as it stopped at every floor. Finally, the doors opened.

No sweat as the secretary opened the doors for you.

The desk. Where is it?

Ah, yes. It's at the end cubicle, by the window. You walked slowly, dodging everybody as you carried yourself towards the desk. It was a long walk and it gave you ample time to prepare yourself for it.

"What are you doing here?" Levi tapped on your shoulder, almost making you lose grip on the hot coffee. "Huh, I knew it."

"What?" Embarrassment glowing on your cheeks, as you tilted your head. "What do you mean?"

"You just missed him."

"I did?"

"I knew you two wouldn't last a few weeks without each other."

"That's just mean, Levi," you whispered, as he led you back to the door. "I'm just... I wanted to see how he was doing."

"Yeah, okay," Levi mumbled, opening the paperbag with the bread. He grabbed one, and quickly munched on it. You could only scowl at him, as he pointed outside. "I don't know where he went, but you just missed him."

"You're no use to me, Levi."

"I'll text you when I ask him."

A smile graced your lips as you pecked him on the cheek, waving your hand as you exited. Levi only took a bite, eyes pointing outside as he eventually called Hanji.

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"What are you doing here?"

Erwin stopped in his tracks. He reluctantly turned around, carrying a latte and a cheese danish. He's sweating by the end as he skipped towards your building, but he failed to get around it, as Hanji only raised a brow.

"I'm..." Erwin sighed defeatedly. He breathed hard as he leaned in to Hanji, "I'm visiting."

"Lovebirds," Hanji sighed, rubbing her temples as she escorted Erwin to the door. "She isn't here."

"Her day-offs aren't until Saturday?" He asked, remembering that it was only Wednesday.

"She called out," Hanji groaned, grabbing Erwin's arm as she clicked for the elevator. Her hand immediately rummaged through the paper bag but Erwin only raised it high.

"Buy your own. It's for her," Erwin smiled, as she pushed her towards the open elevator. "Do you know where she is?"

"No," she breathed, fishing out her phone, "I'll text you if she answers."

The doors closed as he watched Hanji unlock her phone, and retreated inside their company floor.

Erwin clenched his eyes closed, breathing deeply as he kept replaying that night. He regrets it with his full heart when he still let you go. He wants things back to what it was. Maybe a little better.

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The walk back to your building was disappointing. You thought it'll be best to just give it to Hanji as she drinks black coffee, but you opted to keep the cheese danish for yourself. Somewhat humiliating that Levi caught you snooping around Erwin's desk, then he wasn't there. It was just a big disappointed. You wished you didn't get off of that sad bed and just stayed there, wallowing. Daydreaming, heart-breaking— at least you weren't embarrassed.

The elevator door opened, waiting for the people to get off. Once they were gone, you've got the elevator to yourself once again, your fingers reaching for the 23rd floor of your company. The whole bumpy elevator ride, you crossed your arms just waiting for it to stop just so you could give it to Hanji.

You went through the floor, looking out for Hanji's desk. Immediately, you gently placed the coffee and bread while she gawked at you.

"Close your mouth," you muttered, fixing your clothes. "Did the boss look for me?"

"What are you doing here?"

"If people ask me that one more time, I would go crazy," you pushed the food towards her. "For you."

"You just missed him."

"Who?"

"Who!" You screeched, making you duck as people looked at you.

"Erwin!" Hanji grabbed her phone, showing the text to you. "He literally went to find you."

Her hands slithered towards the coffee but you only swatted it away, grabbing it back. "That's for him."

She only squinted her eyes at her, grabbing you by the arm as she pushes you to the elevator. "Out. Out. I'll text you where he is. All the nice phones you two have, and you can't text each other. Out!"

"Ouch," you moaned, pressing the elevator button as you waved at Hanji with a grimace.

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Standing outside the building, you watched all the people get on with their lives. You quickly thought of who was happy, sad, heart-broken like you. Did somebody else went to their ex-boyfriend's work to just chek up on him but then he wasn't there and they had to walk all the way to back feeling humiliated? Or did somebody else fell in line for the expensive coffee and a cheese danish that is meant for their ex-boyfriend? Anybody?

It was ridiculous. How heavy the breaking up is. All the emotions, tears, feelings, and the numbing pain that it came with it and it ends right here. Both of you looking for each other on opposite blocks, hoping to catch them. You wouldn't call it unneccessary because you grew. You grew in those last fews you've spent alone, trying to focus on yourself, at work, even if you were all puffy eyes every morning. Still, you grew.

Just weeks of being alone, made you feel that it's okay to not be in a relationship. Keep your own self afloat.

But it just bites you back in the ass because you wanted him. You looked for him.

In the morning, even the squeezes on your shoulder as Erwin leaves for his work.

In the afternoon, when you check your phone for anything, yet there was nothing.

In the evening, where you'll turn the knob over to find him, busy with his movies.

But in those mornings, he'd whisper an "I love you."

But in those afternoons, he'd text you a sleeping emoji.

But in those evenings, he'd have a warm plate of dinner waiting for you.

And it's normal for love not to be all sparkly. It's okay when it doesn't always makes you blush, it's okay if conversations turns into smaller nothings as both of you laugh away, it's okay if he only holds you in his sleep. You're finished with that falling in love phase.

Both of you are in love already— familiar with the ups and downs, the silence, the years spent with each other dull or not, love is still there.

Because in his mornings, he'd keep his eyes closed even if his alarm already rang, until he feels you stir awake, your lips kissing him on his shoulder as a "Good morning."

Becuase in his afternoons, he'd receive a wacky picture of you, and he sets it as his background for a moment.

Because in his evenings, he'd have a hot cup of decaf coffee by the kitchen.

╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾

Erwin leaned on your company's building as he watched you. He made sure he was hidden as best as he could, grateful for the amount of people passing by. He watched you scowl and frown, and smile sadly as people passed by, harshly speaking why you were in the middle of the pathway. He'd watch you grip the coffee in your hand, and peek at the paper bag, your lips turning down— rightfully guessing that you'll keep that cheese danish that he always buys for himself but you end up eating it.

That's why he always buy an extra one.

And it's sitting warmly inside the paper bag he was holding. He bit his lip, thinking when you'll notice him by the wall, but he's been looking at you for minutes already and you haven't looked back yet. He sighed, clutching the paper bag, his heart thumping loudly as he slowly approached you.

He wants to make things right. It gave him so much hope already when he realized that you were looking for him.

God, even looking at you makes his heart ache, he thought, in a good way.

"Looking for me?"

What a wicked thing to say, you thought. That's the first thing Erwin has said to you, in a failed attempt for a pick-up line... and its cruel enough that it sounds like him.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the person who just said that. You quickly did a double-take, whipping your head as you looked at the person.

It's him.

Erwin.

He cocked his head at the coffee you were holding. It's gone cold now but he'll take it. "Is that for me?"

It's really him.

"Yes," you answered, your hands cold as you gave it to him. He gladly accepted it, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you. The blue eyes you've gone to look for and miss, and he's really here.

"Latte and the cheese danish," Erwin smiled, giving the bag to you.

Both of you are blocking the pathway, making the people walk around. All their mean spews were nothing as he stared at your familiar eyes that he's come to want to look at forever. Erwin breathed nervously, as he pointed at the nearby public space with creaky chairs.

"Should we go sit there?" Erwin asked, and you could only follow his finger, absolutely knowing where it's pointing at.

"Just like the old times?" You asked breathily, starting to walk towards the first spot both of you shared. Erwin was quick to match your strides as he nodded.

Life is crazy.

Both of you walked together, accidental brushes of the hands as both of you walked quietly. He supressed a smile as he peeked down at you, feeling another brush of his hands on yours. He brushed his fingers on you, his eyes shifting towards the people and back at you.

And he's missed that. Your smile as you leaned in closer, as his finger wrapped around your pinky. Finally, the both of you reached the creaky table set, sitting on it gently as you opened the coffees and the danishes.

Erwin smiled, as he blew on your latte. He placed it at your side, his heart swelling up as you smiled widely. He watched you take a first seep, instantly seething as it burnt your tongue.

You looked up at him, embrassment on your cheeks as you always burnt your tongue, drinking your coffee. In one familiar move, he placed his hand in front of you. Erwin only cocked his head to the side, a smile on his lips as he nudged his head, waiting for you to accept his hand.

Instantly, you knew what it was.

This was how he first introduced himself years ago. That stupid pick-up line that made you roll your eyes. He took the spare sit before you, mumbling how he hates spending his lunch-time cooped up in that awful desk of his, and he prefers to sit here, on this table, but you already called dibs on it. Then he offered his hand. And the rest was history.

"Should we start over again?"

#erwin smith #erwin x reader #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith imagine #erwin smith imagines #attack on titan #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan imagine #snk imagines #snk #snk imagine #aot imagines #aot imagine #aot erwin #snk erwin #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyojin

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pomegranates-and-blood · 4 years

Text

νοσταλγία (Chapter 12)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: This is a retelling/romantization of the Greek myth of Persephone’s abduction with Ivar as Hades and you as Persephone. The Reader character is a Byzantine woman, follower of the Greek Pantheon/Religion, and a devoted follower of Persephone. This takes place after 5A, but the universe of this is a little changed in relation with the series, of course. Thank you for giving it a chance, hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: The usual

A/N: Hi, so...either in this chapter I completely dissapoint you or I pleasantly surprise you, I’m very much hoping for the latter lol. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, cause I’m an insecure little fuck and I’m very afraid you’ll all hate this chapter and where the story goes from now on lol

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax @pieces-by-me

Decided to post this a day earlier cause ffs, between the fucking election and minks with covid and destiel and putin, the world doesn’t make sense anymore. So fuck it, have some Ivar :)

“Word has it that the King has made you a free woman.” The girl whispers, handing you a piece of bread and sitting beside you, looking out at the stars.

“Mhm.”

“We’ve known you were more than a prisoner since the moment you arrived, though.” She quips quietly.

“Oh.” You can only mutter, but the surprise is written in your face.

Freydis smiles, warm and a little cold at the same time, “It is written in the way you walk, witch. You were never a slave, were you?”

“If you are asking if the Saxons kept me a prisoner, the answer is no. That privilege seems to be reserved for your King.” If your last words drip with venom and anger, she does not mention it. You dare think she understands.

“I was. But now, like you, I am free,” Freydis sentences, and this does bring your attention back to her eyes. Depthless blue eyes, perverse and innocent, relentless and broken. When the girl leans closer, you don’t move. Her words are barely a whisper, but carry the strength of the vow you hissed at Stithulf, “Neither you or me will die slaves to men.”

“To whom, then?”

“The Gods. Yours or mine, I do not know,” She answers simply, fierce when she hisses the words at you, “But we mustn’t settle with mortal men. What we have suffered, it has to…mean something. It has to mean we are destined for more, that we are more.”

“Sometimes pain is just pain, Freydis.” You offer quietly, but her mind is set. You wonder for a moment if these thoughts were what made her spirit survive her time as a slave.

“No,” She shakes her head, stubborn, “We are broken because our fate is to be strong, we are…we are defiled because we are to rise above it.”

You roll your eyes, and even if the conversation remains quiet in the dead of night your voice is strong when you argue, “Did Freyja release you from your binds? Will Despoina release me from mine?” The pain lacers at your heart, but you insist, “No. I shall not be thankful for an unending fight to survive.”

“Yet you survive.”

She is not talking about surviving the Byzantine warriors’ almost successful attempt to silence you like they did your mother. She is not talking about surviving the pain of years, centuries, that marks your soul, a pain that Freydis may not know about but understands regardless.

No. She’s talking of the ‘freedom’ you have garnered here in her homeland, of what it means to be a free woman in a world that steps over the ones that cannot fight like men. She is talking of surviving Ivar the Boneless.

As your eyes meet, different stories, different agonies, and different destinies meet as well; but you feel she understands, better than almost anyone, what guided your words, your steps, your promises, that made an army be laid at your feet, to make a mad King set you free.

“King Ivar was the one to free you.” You say quietly, leaning away from the girl. It is not even a question, is a realization. All her words, all her advice…she spoke from experience, more specific experience than you thought.

“He wasn’t a king then.”

A hopeless laugh leaves your lips, “What men like Ivar the Boneless need you to be, you become.” You repeat her words from a few weeks ago, a new meaning to them altogether.

The girl laughs as well, the sound dainty and musical even if it carries iron beneath, “Although now I realize you may have been too arrogant to lie.”

All you can offer her is a shrug and a sigh as you say, “I die on my own terms, with my own face, Freydis.”

“But you didn’t. Die, that is,” She insists, smile on her pale face that you find yourself starting to return in kind. Her hand settles on your knee and she squeezes and you wonder if it is in comfort or something else. “Whatever you are, he wants to keep for himself.”

You say nothing else, turning your gaze back into the sky outside, suddenly reminded of the circumstances that brought you here, of the invisible chains that still remain on you, of how you have failed to become what you ought to.

If we must, we will die. Resisting, like your mother and I taught you.

And yet you cower and accept scraps of freedom at the first chance you have. Shame and resentment fill your heart, and your mother’s favorite piece of jewelry hanging from your neck feels like a noose when your fingers toy with the old metal.

“Did you seduce him?” Freydis starts suddenly, dragging you away from your thoughts so quickly you find yourself disoriented.

You blink a couple of times before you can answer with anything other than a wordless sound to her question.

“What?”

She shrugs with one of her shoulders, drinking from her own cup of warm milk before explaining, “You earned your freedom, or whatever measure of it that you don’t seem to be happy with. Did you bed him for it?”

It should be insulting, but her clear eyes tell you she does not shame you for it. She seems almost…impressed. It still makes something churn at your insides, and you find yourself hating the world that bound her and made her a slave a little bit more.

“No,” You say, slowly, “Was I expected to?”

Did you? Is what your words whisper but you don’t dare voice, although you have an inkling that she hears it regardless. Her eyes remain on you for a few moments too long, and the start of a knowing smile curves at her lips.

The girl still shakes her head in response, “I was curious.”

“Why?” If you sound harsh, if what Sieghild calls your ‘Athenian nobility’ is heard in your tone, Freydis does not mention it.

“He wants you, you know that. Half of Kattegat wants you.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

She shrugs, “Word runs that he has never taken a woman to his bed. Earls have even gifted him noble women and slaves, but he never accepts them.

A part of you wants to ask why she is aware of all this. You remain silent however, looking back out at the stars and wondering why does she believe the King’s cock and its use or lack thereof is something you are interested in discussing.

“It’s not about beauty, the women brought in were the most beautiful I have seen,” She continues on, talking to herself as she recalls, “It’s also not about…power. Most I have seen wouldn’t be sharp-witted enough to try to get something out of him either.”

She seems to be willing to babble on, but a sharp voice interrupts you, no matter how quiet it is.

“Girl,” One of the older women chastises, gaze set on Freydis. “Eyes and ears follow the witch. Be careful.”

You are stunned into silence, as is the girl next to you, and when the quiet of night settles upon you, you can hear the rustling of leather and the deep breaths of soldiers set outside your door.

His guest. You guess to them being a guest just means a looser set of chains, or invisible shackles.

True fear settles in the girl’s pale eyes, and you reach to place a hand in her knee, placating her. The older woman, you do not know her name, motions so that you both move closer to the crackling fire and away from the windows.

“It will do you no good to gossip like this about any son of Ragnar, especially Ivar,” She advices, but a glint in her eye tells you of times in her youth spent just like this. She leans closer, and whispers, “And also, despite the rumors, you must remember he is a hot-blooded young man commanding an army, you oaf.”

“Maybe it’s about control,” The blonde ponders, side-glance directed at you. After a breath, she shrugs, “Maybe you were brought all the way here just to be fucked, witch.”

Freydis ends her sentence in a giggle, her voice quiet and eyes shining. The young girl behind the past suffering and fear.

The old woman smiles, and points towards you with her head, “She speaks like one of our own, she better fuck like one too.”

Her jest is well-meaning even if insulting, and used already to Sieghild’s equally brash humor, you only roll your eyes with a laugh.

The three of you continue exchanging secrets of this land and its people till the moon is high up the sky. It helps with the feeling of shame, the feeling of having betrayed your purpose; it helps, but it doesn’t quieten the voices that demand to know why you get the right to spend the night next to a warm fire laughing and exchanging stories while your people’s corpses are still fresh, while the survivors await the embrace of the incoming winter to let go of their strength.

When the whispers quieten, when the city sleeps, when you are left alone with your thoughts; you realize what a mistake you have made.

You were taught to fight, you were taught to resist. The Gods made you smart and ambitious, and it was for a reason. It may be Fate you are to cross paths with the Varangian, but it is not written that you are to be bound to him, you refuse to believe so.

You have fought with claws and teeth before, you have lied and kissed and promised to avoid bindings. There is no reason why you shouldn’t now, no reason why foolish thoughts and feelings should stop you from doing what you have before.

Fight. To return to your people. To remain free. To overcome.

And so, letting go of the guilt of not trying enough but with a new sort of guilt and shame settling upon you, you depart the apothecary towards the main hall in the dead of night.

You are not stupid, you know the Viking wants you, at least slightly, at least begrudgingly. And he knows he cannot get any political advantage from making you his wife, he may even lose power by making you queen. There aren’t many things he can force out of you, so that leaves your body.

So, if it is your body he wants, you will let him have it, in whatever way he sees fit.

When it is done, when the foreignness is no longer mysterious, when you make the allure of whatever it is dissipate; then it will be easier to make him see that this was not ordained by the Gods, not his and definitely not yours.

You thank the warrior that leads you to the quarters with a nod and a silent smile, wondering in the back of your mind when or how these men got directions that you are to be allowed in the King’s chambers when he hasn’t called for you.

It surprises you that he hasn’t yet gone to sleep, makes you wonder what he has entertained himself with. A foolish thought of it being a someone that entertains the King at night makes you clench your jaw.

Still, you stand in wait, letting curious eyes wander over the spacious room. When the uneven steps reach your ears, followed by the fainter footsteps of two slaves, you straighten your back and face the doorway.

King Ivar’s eyes widen when he finds you in the room, quickly moving over your form in the red dress before he dismisses the slaves with a gesture of his hand.

You keep your eyes on his, but there has never been a time you have shown less in your gaze. He sits down, discarding the crutch at his side, and you walk closer even though your legs shake and your hands tremble.

Playing games kept you from your freedom, but…playing games may keep you from chains this time.

You’d prefer iron shackles on your wrists and ankles for a thousand years if it meant not having to be an unwilling wife before Gods that, although you don’t worship, you respect and believe in.

Your steps falter, and your heart remembers the consequences of the last time you lied in exchange for freedom. The words in your head are promises that this is no different from Narses, even if Narses was kind, and sane, and you cared for him.

What men like Ivar the Boneless need you to be, you become.

You reach up, keeping your eyes on his, and let the dress drop down to the floor, leaving you bare to hungry blue eyes that immediately trace over your body.

His lips part before he speaks, and he seems to stammer for a moment before he asks, “W-What are you…?”

“I know you want me,” You offer, a little entranced by the desire, the fear, the struggle for control that you see written all over his face; taking a small step forward before you realize it. You shake yourself off your stupor, standing straighter. With what feels like your last breath before a defeated descent to Hades, you whisper, “You don’t have to make me your wife, whatever you want you can get without marrying me.”

Any wonder, any trace of desire and boyish vulnerability you could see written all over his face, shining in his hungry eyes; it all disappears with your words.

His expression hardens and his nose furrows on a snarl, his voice gravelly and almost disgusted as he motions dismissively towards you.

“Get dressed.”

You startle, and resist the urge to cover yourself with your hands.

“W-What?”

“I said get dressed. I do not want your pity.”

Your brow furrows along with your nose, and although with trembling hands you grab onto the linen and cover yourself, you still grit out,

“It’s not pity. It’s…desperation.”

“Desperation?”

“I cannot be bound to you, I cannot be made into your wife.” You try, and the pleading tone of your voice makes disgust at yourself churn at your insides.

“Are you ashamed you will have to be the wife to a cripple, hm? Disgusted?” He taunts, the flip of a coin and back into the cruel rage you have faced before, although with a different, more raw edge to it as he presses, “Is that it?”

And as before, the glimpse of something real, the victory of drawing something human out of the monster that bears the crown makes your own back straighten, your own voice turn into steel.

“That you think your legs are the reason I would have for not wanting to be your wife, King Ivar, tells me all I need to know about you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He spits out, and even as his raised voice puts you on edge, you still run your hands through your hair as you start placing, “Do not walk away from me!”

You turn back to him with wide eyes and quickened breath. But it is not fear, it’s rage. For a moment when your eyes meet you want to dare him to make you fear him, but the arrogance beats the desire to prove your foolish heart wrong, and you spit out,

“You have had me chained and humiliated; you have forced me to become something I do not want to!” Your nose furrows and your eyebrows crease, but your voice lowers and you settle the fury in your voice as you answer his question, “And you thinking me being against all this charade has anything to do with your legs makes me realize in your mind all of this,” You gesture around you, “is somehow alright.”

His nose furrows, his lip curls in a snarl before he argues, “It is Fate!”

“Why!? Because you say so!?” You shake your head, “Impressive a man as you may be, you are not yet a Manteion.”

“A what!?”

Of course he doesn’t know, how could he, how could anyone in this cold and foreign place know at all what you mean when you speak in your tongue, to your Gods, about your world.

Letting all the breath leave your lungs, you let yourself fall to the ground, hiding your face in your hands.

“Our worlds are so different, Ivar, how can you think that-…” You sigh, “I do not belong here, I do not belong here with you.”

“Well, you are here.”

You are here with me.

And his arrogance as he says it, his pride, his power, you have known those for a long time, you have seen them in familiar faces and strangers. You have been forced to accept them, accept their rule over you simply because of the way the world is, for too long now.

Your calves grow warmer before the fire, but even if you put your legs above the burning wood it wouldn’t feel as stinging and as burning as the red mark now on your cheek.

The reminder, the thought of it alone, makes your weak hands tremble and your eyes fill with useless tears.

“Tis your pride hurting more than your face, little one.” Sieghild starts, but even if there is the start of a jest in her words, there’s gravity in her voice.

“He had no right to-…”

“He did,” She interrupts. And it is the truth, and it makes you clench your jaw and look away from her green eyes. “You wounded his pride, most men don’t take kindly to that offense.”

You stay silent, because you know. And you know you spoke out of place, you know you acted like a child, wanting things out of your reach. You know you should have lowered your eyes, shut your mouth.

Still…

“Is what he said true?” You ask meekly, feeling the burn of shame at the base of your throat. “That they can…take me?”

“As a prisoner?” The Viking leans back on her bed, a crooked smile on her inked face, “They can try.”

“As a concubine.”

Your mother focuses on you, “You are my daughter, little one. They can force no binds on you.”

“What do you mean?”

Sieghild smiles, with that same smile that speaks of a world of liberties women where you come from could never even fathom.

“You need me to say yes!” You yell before you can stop the words from leaving your lips, and you can only watch with widened eyes and a hand over your treacherous mouth as Ivar the Boneless turns to look at you again, the arrogant ire shining in his clear eyes. You scramble to stand, your eyes wide and hand still somewhat covering your mouth.

“What?”

He heard you. This would be your opportunity to take back your words, to take back your resistance, to accept surrender. You waged war against the very Empire the last time you were asked to surrender, though.

“You need my consent for us to be married, Varangian,” You state instead, the words fast and your breath also. You stand up, hands tightened to fists. A flinch of anger passes over the King’s expression as he presses his lips together, irritated that you are apparently so bent on being free. Yes, truly scandalous of you. You swallow your own irritation down and insist, “I am a free woman, you can’t force me.

He considers you quietly for a moment, and before he has a chance to argue, you remind him,

“You won’t break a promise, so you won’t make me a slave,” Even if your voice shakes, you continue, “I-I know of your ways, of…of your Gods. This wasn’t arranged, and since I’m free you need me to say yes.”

He hears the words you don’t say: And I will say no.

After a moment of stubbornly considering you, the King merely shakes his head.

“You have already been given to me.”

“That Christian has no claims to me, and you know this.” You tell him, speak ing of Stithulf and his useless chains.

“I’m not talking about him,” Ivar says, cold smile on his face as he leans on his crutch and serves a goblet of mead. He lifts the cup to you in offering, but you remain in your spot. With a sigh of both disappointment and irritation, the King gulps down the drink and clarifies, “I’m talking about your mother.”

“My mother is dead.” You say without hesitation, although a pit of fear starts opening at your stomach.

But he shakes his head, lifting a finger from his hold on the cup and pointing to you as he corrects, “I don’t mean the Greek one.”

“You are lying,” Is all you say as you look into Ivar’s eyes, your voice trembling as much as the rest of your body. Your nails dig into your palms but you cannot help it, you cannot tell your body to uncoil, not until you hear the truth. “You are lying to play with my head.”

“How would I know Sieghild Vorsdottir, King Rorik’s wife, famed shieldmaiden from the Danes, is the woman that raised you?” He offers, and with each word the ground under your feet dissolves more and more, “She came to me, told me she gave me your hand. I have witnesses.”

No, no, she would never. All those years, telling you to stand tall, teaching you not to bite your tongue, it cannot all have been for her to ditch you and sell you off to the first king you encounter.

You want to think this rationally, you want to remain calm and look for the truth but…

A part of you that will always be her child, that will always love her like the mother you lost too soon; that part of you leaves you with your hands shaking and your throat clogged with only one word.

Móðir…

“She would never do that, she…” You close your eyes with a deep breath, “If she did such a thing, she told you why.”

“She said she had to, that it was fate.”

“You are lying.” The words are choked, the last grasp of a dying hope.

“Would you stop with that? I am not lying.”

Sieghild’s sad and loving eyes on you, her hand holding your face, “I have asked Freya for help ever since we arrived in Scandinavia. She has answered.”

Frantic questions leave your lips, but in her smile there’s the same resignation you saw when she said goodbye as you readied to face the Byzantines for what was supposed to be your death, “The Seer’s words-…it does not matter anymore.”

“She said-…she knew all this time,” You choke out, wide eyes searching the nothing before you for answers, “Her visions, the Seer’s words, she…she knew.”

There’s a strange moment of hesitation, a breath of uncertainty where you think the Viking is trying to find a way to comfort you.

“Prophecies, visions…it is usually too late to change the result when we realize what the Seer’s words mean.” Is what he finally settles on saying.

Foolish, stubborn tears sting at your eyes, and it is with a shaky hand you reach to hold on tight to your mother’s necklace, despair cursing through your veins.

The Völva offers you a small smile, equally mocking and apologetic, “Run if you want to, fight, kick, scream. Fate will drag you home by the wrists, child. You know how this tale goes. The chariot’s pace will tear the world asunder as darkness goes looking for you.”

Your eyes trace over the skyline, almost frantically searching for an answer you know you will not find there.

“This…this place,” You look over the sea, feeling your chest tighten. “This was Ragnar’s pride. Sieghild’s tales…this is Queen Aslaug’s home. The empty throne.”

“You are not making any sense.”

“I was supposed to come here, before I even returned to Greece. I was-…Sieghild, she knew we were to return to her homeland, to that place ruled by a witch from the Danes.

You turn to him with wide eyes, a manic laugh bubbling up in your chest at the realization. For once, the King stays silent, watching you raptly.

“She knew it was fate. We ran from it, I ran from it.

It is with wide eyes and parted lips you look at the man before you, now in a new light, now with a new weight over your shoulders and heart.

“I have no choice,” The revelation is stealing the air from your lips, but with cracked tones you whisper, “I am…I am to be here. It is fate I become your wife.”

Fate. You never thought a word that once brought you so much comfort would make you feel so devastated.

“I will not be a bad husband for you,” He promises after a moment of silence, voice as uncertain as his eyes searching yours, “You will want for nothing, you will be respected by our people, I...I will take care of you.

You nod, but stay silent as the weight of it all settles upon you. You don’t know what is expected out of you now, what fight can you conjure up, what you can try -and see fail, again- to try and escape these…these invisible shackles.

There’s a moment of quiet, and the man moves in his seat, settling back in place with a posture that in anything other than a monster would make you think he’s sheepish, awkward.

His voice is low, almost hesitant as he offers, “You can ask for anything you want.”

You look at him out of the corner of your eye, “I do not ask for things I do not deserve, my King.”

Maybe it is time you stop asking for freedom.

____

Kay so Ivar’s words at the end are inspired on Hades’ speech to Persephone in the Homeric Hymns: “(…) feel kindly in your heart towards me: be not so exceedingly cast down; for I shall be no unfitting husband for you among the deathless gods, that am own brother to father Zeus. And while you are here, you shall rule all that lives and moves and shall have the greatest rights among the deathless gods: those who defraud you and do not appease your power with offerings, reverently performing rites and paying fit gifts, shall be punished for evermore."

Anyhow, I would love to hear what you think of this chapter and of where the story has led. I hope I haven’t dissapointed you, honestly.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope to see you next Tuesday!! Love you all :)

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #vikings #νοσταλγία masterlist

129 notes · View notes

scatterpatter · 3 years

Note

Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.

FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT

1. What do they smell like?

Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.

2. What is their voice like?

Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Spite.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.

6. What do they like to wear?

He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Alistair's cooking.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.

12. How do they like to dress?

"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."

"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Denial :D

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Shrike: Killing his dad

Me: NOOOOOO

EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.

19. Are they right or left handed?

FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well

Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.

22. Favorite color?

Indigo!!!

23. Do they collect anything?

Books :3

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold weather by far.

25. What is their eye color?

Electric blue!

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*

In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee

27. Hair color?

Black!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/

29. Are they a morning person?

NOPE.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

*motions to above question* Sunset.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

More organized, actually!

32. Pet peeves?

*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES

His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.

34. Least favorite food?

Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.

35. Least favorite color?

Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?

36. Least favorite smell?

He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.

37. When was the last time they cried?

Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

Torvid :D He was there to comfort

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN

40. Do they have any scars?

Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Running away from his problems, definitely.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.

44. Why might someone love them?

He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

His party. Well- most in his party.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Nethyl :)

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*

49. Do they like surprises?

NO >:(

50. When is their birthday?

Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"

Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)

52. Do they have any family?

Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!

53. Are they close to their family?

... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/

54. What is their MBTI type?

FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.

55. What is their zodiac sign?

In Sekrezia: The eagle

In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/

57. What D&D alignment are they?

THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.

59. What are their views on death?

He's a necromancer lol.

Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Alistair :)

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

Dog time :)

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

... Ehhhhhh?

63. Do they have an accent?

Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."

66. How do they feel about sex?

I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.

67. What is their sexuality?

He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Bullshit.

73. Do they have a pet?

WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.

75. How patient are they?

More than he should be :/

76. Are they good at cooking?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.

80. Are they trustworthy?

Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Someone he can nerd out with :)

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.

87. What is their age?

43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"

92. What mood are they most often in?

"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.

94. Outlook on life?

Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)

96. What is their greatest weakness?

He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.

97. What is their greatest strength?

He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!

98. Something that they regret?

Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.

100. Create your own!

FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.

#LONG POST #LONG LONG POST #Corren #FUCK YOU DREWSKI <3

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drprettyboyspence · 4 years

Text

You’re a Hero, Spencer Reid

Dr. Spencer Reid/reader

Summary: Late one night Spencer comes home from an especially difficult case. His girlfriend Y/n persuades him to talk about it. Inspired by the JJ/Will episode “Sick Day” (Season 12 Episode 2) This takes place during Season 15.

words: 4.9k

warnings: mentions of violence, mental illness (basically the amount of violence in a regular cm episode), angst, very very light swearing, nothing else to my knowledge!

a/n: I honestly love that JJ and Will scene so I decided to right one about Spencer. This made up case took we way too long to come up with and honestly I know way too much about lobotomies now lol, but I hope you enjoy!! :)

It’s 12:30 am, Spencer Reid trudges up the stairs to his second floor apartment which he shares with his girlfriend of 5 years, Y/n Y/l/n. His body on the verge of collapsing but his mind hyped up on adrenaline, Spencer pulls his key out of his pocket before unlocking the door, excited to finally be home after an energy-draining case. He knows he should sleep, the team very rarely gets much sleep during a case and the last one had been short but intense, so it’s been about 48 hours since Spencer has slept if he’s being truly honest. Spencer feels as if he’s in a trance, he’s exhausted but he just knows he won’t be able to sleep if he tries. His exhaustion leads him to crash into a chair near the table, causing it to scrape against the floor loudly. Damn it Spencer thinks, hoping he didn’t wake up his girlfriend but knowing he probably isn’t that lucky.

“Baby, you’re finally home! I missed you so much!” Y/n says, appearing out of the shadowy hallway, obviously having just woken up. She gives Spencer a hug and notices the way he holds on to her extra tightly, like he does when he’s feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

“I missed you too Y/n, so much.” Spencer whispers, still enveloping her in a tight hug. The last case had been harder on him than he’s willing to admit, but holding Y/n close to him makes him feel safe, he can’t lose her if he just never lets go, right?

“Are you okay Spence?” Y/n asks after Spencer finally lets her go. She knows the tells, she may not be an FBI profiler but she can tell when Spencer isn’t okay, and right now is unfortunately one of those times. She can see the way he holds her just the smallest bit too tight, she can see his eyes, droopy from exhaustion but darting around the room at the same time, still hyped up on the adrenaline from the case, and the eye circles that have become a signature look for her boyfriend are even darker than usual, showing he’s been without sleep for likely more than a day.

“I’m fine Y/n, really, you know how the job is, it's never easy.” Spencer replies, in a manner that shows Y/n he wants to talk about it, but he doesn’t know how to ask and doesn’t want to be a bother.

“Are you sure Spence? We can talk about it if you want to-“

“I said I’m fine Y/n! Please drop it!” Spencer snaps back at Y/n, regret immediately flushing over his face. He doesn’t yell at her often, and they hardly ever fight, he says he’s seen too many couples separated by tragedy to waste time on silly arguments and quarrels. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to snap at you, I think I’m just high-strung and exhausted.”

“You can’t keep it in Spencer, it will all build up inside and stay with you, you know that. We need to talk about it if it's weighing down on you this heavily, I’ll put the coffee on, it looks like we won’t be sleeping for a while.” Y/n says warmly, walking across the kitchen to switch on the coffee machine. “Okay Spence, start at the beginning…”

40 hours earlier

“All I’m saying JJ is that you aren’t even giving science-fiction a chance, its not all-”

“Spence I honestly don’t care, I refused to go to comic-con with you back in the day and I still refuse now, but you can take the boys, they’d love to go.” JJ and Spencer abruptly finish their conversation as they walk into the round table room and see the rest of the team staring back at them with solemn looks on their faces.

“Let’s get started please.” Emily says promptly as JJ and Spencer take their respective seats at the table, everyone focusing their attention on Garcia.

“Alright my crime-solving friends today’s devilishness comes to us from the one, the only, sin city itself, Las Vegas, Nevada.” Long-time members of the team glance sympathetically at Reid, knowing how difficult it can be for him to go home, especially now that his mother has been moved closer to Virginia. “Those pictures on your tablet now, they are of Dolores Smith, the fifth victim in a series of what appears to be lobotomies gone wrong.” The team winces, remembering the last time lobotomies had come up in a BAU case.

“The fifth victim? Why weren’t we called in earlier, lobotomies aren’t exactly a common occurrence, even in Las Vegas.” Rossi asks.

“This unsub has been driving his victims out into the desert, even crossing state lines, victim number two, Susan Atkins, she was found in Utah, almost 400 miles away. They simply didn’t put it together until the last two victims were found in Las Vegas.”

“Garcia, anything connecting the victims, they seem to be of different sexes and ages.” JJ asks.

“Yes, this is where it gets tricky, all five victims were schizophrenic patients at Bennington Sanitarium.” It was like a chill went through the room.

“So they were all patients at a mental hospital?” Luke says, clearly confused about the strange energy currently in the room.

“Tell them Spence” Emily urges.

“Bennington Sanitarium isn’t just any mental hospital, it's the mental hospital my mom was in.”

The coffee machine beeps, interrupting Spencer’s telling of the story, he moves to pour the cups. Y/n places her hand on his knee before he can move out of the chair.

“Sweetheart, let me do it, you just sit here and try to relax, you’ve been through enough, the least I can do is a pour a damn cup of coffee for you.” Y/n picks out Spencer’s favorite mug, a Doctor Who one she had bought him for the first Christmas they spent together. They both inhale deeply over the cups of steaming liquid, as good as gold on a late night like this, the 1:20 am flashing over the stove only showing as a reminder that this night won’t be ending any time soon. “Alright, continue.”

36 hours earlier

“So here’s what we know. All five victims had recently been released from Bennington Sanitarium, they were schizophrenic, having been residents of the hospital for ten to twelve years.” Luke starts the discussion as the jet begins its descent into Las Vegas.

“Why were they released?” Spencer responds.

“Garcia, any information you can give us?” Tara asks the computer screen where Garcia’s face pops up.

“My friends, unluckily because of the discreet nature of mental health records, the mistress of all things technological is having a little bit of trouble narrowing in on the information you search for, but from what I can see, all five victims were taken out of the hospital after responding well to medication, I haven’t gotten to those records yet but I will hit you back as soon as I hear anything, peace out.”

“You okay Reid?” Emily asks Spencer as quietly as she can, knowing that this case is surely striking a nerve with him, all these victims sharing a very big part of their life with his mother, she probably knew some of them personally.

“I just have a bad feeling about this, and I tend to listen to those feelings very carefully. Let’s finish this one quick and get back to Quantico.”

“You heard the kid, let’s make quick work of this case and put this bastard away before he can even think about taking another victim.” Rossi states, earning nods from the rest of the time.

“I hate to burst your bubbles my friends, but a sixth victim has just been found in Las Vegas once again, 63 year old Barbara Sullivan.” Garcia popped in.

“Alright change of plans everyone, Matt go to the 5th dump site, Tara and JJ, you girls will go to the most recent dump site, Luke and Rossi will go the morgue, try to get any information you can about the lobotomies, Reid and I, we’ll go to Bennington and get insight into why each of these victims were released and what medicines they were on at the time.

“Sorry to interrupt, but why was Garcia having such a hard time finding the medical records, isn’t that type of thing usually a breeze for her?” Y/n asks. She’d become quite close to Garcia in the years she and Spencer had been together and there was nothing that girl couldn’t do.

“We were having trouble with that too to be honest, mental health records are usually rather secretive, but nothing a hacker like Garcia wouldn’t be able to crack in an instant. Can I have another cup of coffee baby?”

“Of course Spence, anything you need.” Y/n say before filling up another coffee, glad he’s finally relaxed enough to talk freely about whatever happened on this case that was so clearly affecting him.

34 hours earlier

“Dr. Reid, good to see you again, I wish we didn’t have to meet under these circumstances though.” The main doctor at Bennington says, having known Spencer over the years Diana had spent at the hospital.

“Dr., hello. This is BAU Unit Chief Emily Prentiss, we want to ask you some questions about the victims if that would be possible. I know it’s-”

“Excuse me Dr.! Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt! Wait, are you Dr. Spencer Reid of the Behavioral Analysis Unit? I’m a huge fan of your work. Work, oh god you must be here about the recent murders, tragic aren’t they?” A rather hyper man interrupts Spencer. Spencer awkwardly and reluctantly shakes the hand of the stranger, both him and Emily puzzled about this strange interruption.

“Mr. Robbins, if you would, please leave us alone as the federal agents and I have some important details to discuss. Actually, you may go home for the day, your services are no longer needed, see you tomorrow.” The high-strung man nods eagerly before waving once more and leaving. “I’m so sorry about that Dr. Reid, that would be the new data collector and organizer, Mr. Robbins, a bit hyper for my taste, but that man is a wizard with anything technological.” Just as Emily is about to resume questions about the victims, Garcia calls.

“What’s up Garcia? Anything you can tell us?”

“Emily, my sweet, sadly I come once again bearing bad news. A woman has just been reported missing, 54 year old Dana Reeley, schizophrenic, reported missing by her son 20 minutes ago, says he left the house for no longer than 20 minutes, came back to an empty house no signs of struggle.”

“Is it possible his mother is confused, left the house on her own?” Spencer asks, remembering times his mother had been so confused that she went off on her own.

“Definitely not, the doors had protective covers, the mother couldn’t get out by herself, it had happened before. By the way, I’m still having an extreme amount of trouble trying to figure out why the victims were taken out of the hospital.”

“Oh I can help you with that, each of the victims were taken out of this establishment due to the opinions of each of their respective children that they would be better taken care of under their own roofs.”

“Well, uh- thank you unknown male voice that I’m assuming is the Dr. running Bennington Sanitarium, that’s helpful information.”

“Dr. thank you for your time, but it seems we should we getting to the police station.” Emily says, realizing that this probably isn’t a good place for Spencer to be, and seeing his face becoming increasingly distressed due to the implications of the information the Dr. had just given them, if they’re going to need him to use his brain to solve this case they need to get out of here.

“Woah wait one second Spencer, all of the victims were patients at the same hospital that your mom spent years at, they were all schizophrenic, and they were all taken out of the hospital by their children shortly before their murder, that’s a-“

“Hell of a coincidence, I know, and you know me, there’s no such thing as coincidences. This was weird though, like a very small chance that this could be about me, but it was seeming more and more like I was to be more involved with this case than I had thought.”

24 hours earlier

The rest of the team had gone to bed hours ago, but Spencer is still awake, lying in the hotel bed staring at the ceiling. He debates calling Y/n, he tries not to bring his work home, he tries his hardest to keep the purest thing in his life away from the horrors and despair he sees everyday. He doesn’t want to put two and two together on this case, he doesn’t want to believe that this could all be because of him, all these victims, their lives ended early, simply because he decided to join the FBI those many years ago. It had happened before, Professor Rothschild back in 2009 and he doesn’t like to think about it, but Maeve was in the center of a case inspired by him as well. Spencer knows he’s overreacting, he knows he can’t blame himself, he didn’t kill those victims, and he didn’t force the hand of the unsubs, all he can do now is get some sleep so he can use his IQ of 187 to stop this son of a bitch, stop him from killing anyone else, ever.

The sound of a stomach rumbling interrupts Spencer this time.

“Spencer, when was the last time you ate? God knows how long its been since you slept and its probably been even longer since you ate. Tell me how long Spence, please.” Spencer looks down guiltily, knowing that Y/n is going to be mad when he utters his next words.

“I don’t know um I’m having trouble remembering-“ Y/n’s face tells it all, the man with the eidetic memory can’t remember when the last time he ate was. “It was yesterday afternoon, there were bagels at the Las Vegas police station, terrible ones but I ate one of those, figured I shouldn’t be drinking five cups of coffee a day on an empty stomach.”

“Yesterday afternoon? Spencer it’s 2:30 am!”

“Okay so the day before yesterday afternoon I guess, sue me Y/n!”

“Spencer Reid I know you aren’t trying to tell me you haven’t eaten in over 36 hours! You wouldn’t do that to me right? Sweetheart, you need food! What would you like?” Y/n notices that it’s strange, right now in this moment Spencer looks like a small child, shy and embarrassed.

“Um, could you…make pancakes?” Spencer quietly asks. Y/n could laugh, Dr. Spencer Reid, renowned FBI agent who will walk into an interrogation room no problem, is scared to ask his significant other to make pancakes.

“Pancakes is it? Sure thing sweetheart I’ll make pancakes.”

“With chocolate chips?” Spencer adds.

“Now you’re pushing it.” Y/n retorts back with a giggle, beginning to make the batter, if Spencer hasn’t eaten in 36 hours he deserves better than some nasty boxed pancakes, that’s for sure. “So what happened next Spence?”

17 hours earlier

“Good morning Garcia, any information for us?” Luke asks in the morning.

“Oh newbie how I wish it was a good morning, another victim has been taken, 43 year old Richard Saxons, his daughter reported him missing when she woke up to an empty house, hasn’t seen him since last night.” The team looks at each other with confused glances.

“Another victim? But he hasn’t dumped the last victim yet, this is a major change in M.O., do we think the last victim is still alive, we need to rethink this.” Emily explains.

“Okay why a lobotomy? That can’t be the easiest way of killing the victims.” Matt asks.

“Here’s the thing, this unsub isn’t necessarily meaning to kill the victims. Lobotomies began in the 1880s when Swiss physician Gottlieb Burkhardt removed parts of the cortex of the brains of patients with auditory hallucinations and other symptoms of schizophrenia. Later in 1935 Portuguese neurologist Antonio Egas Moniz is credited with inventing the lobotomy. There are numerous negative effects and since the procedure literally involves drilling into the brain to slice up pieces of the frontal lobes, if it isn’t performed by a doctor there’s a very high mortality rate.” Spencer of course rattles off.

“That makes sense with what the medical examiner told us, the lobotomies were crudely done but there was no reason to believe the unsub is a sadist, no signs of torture, the bodies were often dumped with what could be taken as remorse.” Rossi adds.

“Okay so we’re looking at an unsub who’s trying to cure these victims of their schizophrenia.” Tara states.

“We need to deliver the profile.”

“We believe our unsub is a white male of medium build, we believe this because all victims have been caucasian and although there have been cases of serial killers crossing racial lines, overwhelming statistics show he’s most likely white.” Luke begins,

“He has come into contact with all eight victims including the two currently missing, he knew all of them suffered from schizophrenia and were recently released, he waited until they were no longer patients at the hospital , meaning he most likely has a close connection to Bennington Sanitarium and could be tied back to the crimes, if he works at the hospital it puts him between the ages of 25 and 50, he could be the janitor, a cook, any job like that.”

“We don’t believe he has official medical training because the manner by which the lobotomies were performed lacks the professionalism a doctor could use, but he also demonstrates knowledge of schizophrenia and lobotomies in general, which shows he isn’t dumb, most likely can hold down a job.”

“Important as well, we don’t believe this unsub necessarily means to kill the victims, he is attempting to help cure these victims of their schizophrenic symptoms, he may have experienced a loss caused by mental health issues or believes the treatment each of the victims received was inadequate.” Tara finishes the profile, all of the team stepping back into the other room.

“Hey Garcia you’re on speaker with the whole team here” Rossi answers his phone,

“Hey guys, this is just getting more and more strange, I finally got into the hospital records, it really seemed as though someone was hacking me from the inside, but I finally got in and here’s the kicker, all of the records of the victims have been deleted, who would even have access for that.” Garcia says.

“Okay we’ll looks into that Garcia, can you start looking at anyone who fits our profile, has access to the records at Bennington, and has purchased items needed to perform an at-home lobotomy in bulk over the last few months, if the missing woman has somehow survived, this unsub needs at least elementary medical equipment in order to keep her alive, hopefully we’ll see it in his credit history.” Spencer instructs to Garcia before Rossi hangs up the phone.

“You know who might have some knowledge about all of this, that guy from the hospital, I know the Dr. osaid he’s only worked there a few months but maybe he’s seen something, or maybe he’s noticed someone snooping around the online files, we need to go back to the hospital, Spence lets go.” Emily says.

“So Dr., you’re saying Mr. Robbins hasn’t been to work since you sent him home when we were here last? That’s odd. What did you say his name was again?”

“Anthony Robbins, like I said before, he’s an odd guy but does good work, no one around here knows him that well though.” Spencer and Emily nod their heads to each other before Emily calls Garcia,

“Garcia I need a background check on an Anthony Robbins, stat, and send Rossi and Luke to his house, we need to talk to this guy fast, he knows something.”

“Agents, are you thinking he could have anything to do with this? I can’t imagine Mr. Robbins doing any harm to any one, especially not the patients at this hospital, he is always the kindest to them, the schizophrenia patients in particular.” Another call from Garcia interrupts Emily and Spencer before they can answer.

“Things are starting to look a little weird, Anthony Robbins, 37 years old, native of Las Vegas, was born to Linda and Christian Robbins, he had a happy childhood, no signs of trauma or abuse that I can see. He doesn’t have a record, juvie or adult, but his life did change when he was 10.”

“What happened then Garcia.”

“Reid stop interrupting me, you know how I like to tell my dramatic story. When Robbins was 10 his 7 year old brother Charlie was diagnosed with schizophrenia, when he was 18 he was put into care at a mental hospital, not Bennington but a close by hospital.”

“Any interest in alternative schizophrenia treatments?”

“As a matter of fact my dear genius yes, Robbins has been publishing articles for years, and I’m looking at his recent purchases right now, Robbins has been purchasing health care equipment as well as tools needed for an at-home lobotomy, Anthony Robbins is your unsub.”

“Hey Rossi, change of plans, the guy’s our unsub. You sure? Alright you guys stay there in case he comes back, the guy must have a secondary location.” Emily says before hanging up her phone. “Alright Reid that was Rossi and Luke, Robbins isn’t at home and it looks like he left in a hurry, there’s gotta be somewhere else he’s working, Rossi also said he wouldn’t be able to hold anybody in that tiny apartment, there’s no room and neighbors would hear.”

“Okay let’s think, we profiled he may have suffered some sort of loss. Garcia do you see any type of loss in this guy’s recent history.”

“Charlie Robbins, his schizophrenic brother, died two months ago.”

“That’s right before the murders started, that’s gotta be the stressor.”

“Garcia what hospital was the brother treated at?”

“Uh, it looks like a place called Smith Sanitarium, he was there was there for almost 20 years.”

“Smith! I know where that is, it’s scheduled for demolition actually, closed down about a month ago and has been abandoned since, it’s only about a 15 minute drive.”

“That’s the secondary location, let’s go Reid.” Emily says, the two agents rushing out of the room.

“Spence, the pancakes are ready.” Y/n says, pouring syrup over the stack, just the way Spencer always likes them.

“Thank you so much Y/n, I don’t deserve you. I know talking about the case is supposed to make me feel better but I just feel like an idiot. I mean, he was right there the first day we were at the hospital, it was so obvious, why didn’t I see it?”

“Spencer stop that right now, you can’t blame yourself for any of it, you met that man for less than a minute when your mind was focused on researching the victims, there was nothing about him that should have screamed 'mad scientist performing lobotomies to mourn the loss of his recently deceased schizophrenic brother’, you can’t blame yourself.” Y/n reassures her boyfriend while reaching up to rub his shoulder. He begins eating the pancakes in front of him, groaning slightly at the taste of food after going so long without eating.

“I love you Y/n, not just because you’re amazing at making pancakes, seriously these are so good, but because you somehow always know how to make me feel better.”

“That’s my job babe, personal pancake chef and make-Spencer-Reid-feel-better specialist, now tell me what happened next, it seems like you’re almost at the end.”

10 hours earlier

“Alright Reid, the rest of the team and Las Vegas police are on their way and will meet us as soon as they can, but you and I are going to be on the scene first, they’re significantly further away than we are, we’ll have to wait for them of course, this man may not be meaning to kill his victims, but he’s killed at least 6 people nevertheless.” Emily says, driving as fast as she can through Las Vegas towards the abandoned mental hospital, Reid quietly looking out the window. Emily is strapping her vest on when she sees Reid walking towards the hospital alone.

“Reid, no! I told you, we need to wait for backup, it’s too dangerous!”

“Emily you know how much I respect you, but there’s two victims in there and if they’re on the brink of death, an extra 10 minutes is not something we have, I’m going in.”

“Damnit Reid” Emily whispers before running after him.

“Anthony Robbins, FBI put your hands up”, Reid loudly speaks as he walks into the hospital with his gun in the air, immediately seeing two victims in chains.

“Dr. Reid, I’m so happy you’re here! Let’s put the gun down so I can show you the medical masterpiece I have accomplished.” Mr. Robbins says while holding what looks like a grenade in his hand.

“Mr. Robbins I know you think you’re doing what’s right, but this isn’t what your brother would have wanted, these people did not ask for this, they were doing well with the medication, now I need you to put down the grenade and let these people go.” Sirens can be heard from outside and Emily appears behind Reid as well, noticing the grenade in the unsub’s hand, but Reid’s eyes are completely focused on the female victim, a woman with extreme similarity to his own mother.

“It’s such a shame Dr. Reid, I thought you of all people would understand, seeing as you went to Mexico to research alternative medication for your own schizophrenic mother.”

“That was different Mr. Robbins, I was attempting to research homeopathic remedies for dementia, not performing life-threatening surgeries on mentally ill adults.” Emily can tell that Spencer is getting angry, this case being too close to his personal life, they should be stroking this guy’s ego, not angering him.

“Mr. Robbins, Emily Prentiss here, I think what you have done is magnificent! I actually want you to come with us, the rest of the world needs to see this!”

“No, too late, Dr. Reid doesn’t appreciate my genius, so no one will be allowed to. Sorry, agents.” The man says before dropping the grenade. Emily grabs Reid, pulling him out of the hospital while he’s screaming, still not taking his eyes off the female victim. They make it out of the hospital just as it explodes, Reid staring back into the burning building in disbelief while Emily looks at the rest of the team, shaking her head.

At this point in the story Spencer’s voice cracks, tears start welling in his eyes. “I should’ve saved them, it was completely my fault. He was a classic unsub with a god complex and I did exactly what they teach you NOT to do. I let my emotions get in the way and three people died because of it.” Spencer gets out before he starts crying completely. Y/n enveloping him in a hug and allowing him to cry into her shoulder.

“Oh Spence, shh, it’s okay, that was not your fault. That man was holding a grenade, did you force his hand? Tell him to kill those victims, no.”

“But we should’ve been able to save them, we profiled him exactly right, and I ruined it all by raising my voice at him, plus I didn’t wait for the backup we needed, I was too focused on saving a woman who reminded me of my mom.”

“Spencer Reid, I need you to listen to me right now, look at me, okay, you can do that right? Look at me sweetheart.” Spencer lifts his head to look at Y/n, his teary eyes matching her sympathetic ones filled with love. “You, Spencer Reid, are a hero. You’re my hero, you’re a hero for your team, and you’re the hero of all the people you save every single day. Today was not a good day, but how many victims would that man have killed if your team hadn’t intervened. Today you didn’t save everyone, but if you stop now, you’ll never save anyone ever again.” Spencer and Y/n sit at the table holding hands in silence for longer than either of them care to count, before Y/n hears soft snores, realizing Spencer has fallen asleep in her arms, exhausted from the past days and the emotional release of reliving it all in their kitchen. “Come on Spence, let’s go to bed” Y/n gently shakes him awake and helps him to their bed, knowing that what Spencer needs is a good night’s sleep and a lot of love, which she is more than happy to give him, for the rest of her life even.

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds season 15 #criminal minds #reader insert #y/n #criminal minds imagine

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samshogwarts · 4 years

Text

My review of 2020

Or: I say thank you.

First of all, sorry for the long post 😅. You guys know I don'tike long posts without a "read more under the line". But I nade the post with my mobile phone.... Aaaaaaaanyway. Also sorry for all the tags. I hope I don't annoyed someone with it <~<. So let's continue:

I think this year has been a particularly difficult year for everyone. As 2020 is drawing to a close, I mentally let the year pass again.

The bottom line is that I have to say that 2020 was turbulent for me, but not necessarily bad. Much good, but also bad, has happened. And I want to start with the bad things right away.

At the beginning of the year, my depression and eating disorder relapsed. I've always had trouble talking about it because I know my friends can't handle this issue. I felt pressured because they wanted to do things with me, but I couldn't. So I withdrew completely, hiding my emotions and wearing a mask.

At that time I created this blog. At first I didn't want to create my own content, just follow the content of @ladycibia, @hogwartsmystory and @kyril-hphm. Incidentally, that is also the reason why I call these 3 blogs the Big Three. So it's their fault that I'm here. Lol.

And then the first Hyops message came at the end of March. A very good friend of mine got Corvid-19 and lost the battle against the disease a few days later. I still remember how the news pulled the floor from under my feet. It feels like I completely lost faith in everything and I started to realize how dangerous this year could be.

But life goes on and so I visited a friend and her family in early July. It was the anniversary of her husband's death, who was also a very good friend of mine. He died of cancer last year and I couldn't go to his funeral. So I wanted to stop by on the day he died. I actually thought I could do it. But when you read a friend's name on a tombstone for the first time.. Guys, that's a punch in the stomach like no other and I can't really describe how it feels. I had made up my mind not to cry in front of his wife or children because it was hard enough for them. Didn't work.

And of course this year meant to go one better.

Another friend of mine died of the virus in mid-August, leaving behind a wife and a child. Again, I was unable to attend the funeral. And to be honest, it still bothers me way more I want to admit. In two years I lost three wonderful people who meant a lot to me and I couldn't say goodbye to any of them. When I see the three of them again after my death, you can be sure I'll kick their butts for it.

But August was the worst month for me in many ways. In addition to the death of my buddy, my father's family also volunteered. And that means only one thing - trouble. And properly. I haven't had contact with this family for over 12 years for good reason. Now one person from this family has passed away. And first of all, I don't really care if anyone of them would die. I don't even know the person who passed away. But I wasn't told either by my grandmother or my father. So my deadline to cancel the inheritance has expired. Of course it was debts. You have to know that the inheritance rights of my country are very complicated. The reason my father or grandmother didn't tell me about it was because they didn't want to bother with the paperwork. They always had the opportunity to contact me via Facebook or my half-sister. But that would mean work for them. And while I was walking from lawyer to lawyer to court to court, I was allowed to hear sayings from my grandmother that I apparently have achieved nothing in my life. Nice to know that some people never change. I'm still struggling with this matter to this day and will probably not be able to fully clarify this until the beginning of 2021.

At the end of October everything seemed to be taking its revenge and I passed out at a friend's house. Nobody knows exactly what happened until today, but my friend took me to the hospital where I had to stay one night. That was Halloween. And I'm such a big fan of hospitals hahahaha hahahaha. After that I was allowed to wear an ECG for 2 weeks and it turned out that my heart values had deteriorated. Why not. Let's just take everything with us this year!

Rounding out the negatives this year was my (as a teenager) best friend's suicide. I have to say that I haven't had any contact with this person for 9 years. However, it is the one who cut herself in her youth and then called me afterwards because she didn't know what to do. It was also the one I tried to get into therapy for 2 years. But her mother was always against it. And it was exactly this mother who was standing in my mother's shop, telling her about her daughter's suicide and that I was probably in the farewell letter. I don't know exactly what it said, but the mother now blames me for her daughter's suicide. And do you know what's craziest about the whole thing? I agreed with her! I really thought it was my fault because I knew how sick my former friend was. Yet I was the one who ended the friendship (for many reasons that had nothing to do with her depression). And I still wonder what would have happened if I had acted differently.

But enough of the negative things! A lot of nice things happened this year too. Among other things, I have found a new job within my group, earn more money and have pleasant working hours. I've renovated my apartment and I've started saving money on a new one. My two nieces are now going to school and I am a proud aunt. My male best friend and his girlfriend (my best harry potter friend) are pregnant and are expecting their first child soon and my mother's health is better.

But one of the best things that happened to me this year is this blog.

I already mentioned that I actually only created this blog to stalk the Big Three. I didn't want my own content at all. But I discovered more and more blogs and these incredibly great MCs that I thought I wanted to do whole too. And so Samantha O'Connell was born.

I received so much great support and encouragement on this platform. I don't think many people even realize how much that means to me. Especially this year.

I have also found great and lovable people here, some of whom I also call my friends. Even if we come from other countries, speak other languages and may never see each other in real life, you are my friends and I am grateful to know you.

@annabelle-tanaka-official : I'll start with you of course! XD on tumblr you are just my best friend. I don't write as much with anyone as I do with you. You are such an incredibly talented person and so warm hearted! Over the year we have invented so many insiders that soon nobody will know what we mean. Be it the monster hug, or that my cats are your spies or our many RP scenarios, which I really enjoy and which always make me laugh. I thank you for that!! I love you so much and I am so glad that we are friends! *minster hug*

@lunasilvermorny / @lunasilvermore : you are next to you !!! XD the next person I write to almost every day. What started with a little conversation about among us has turned into a friendship. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to streaming with you next year (and this year)!!! You are such a good listener that strengthens me. Your support is so nice of you too! Just the fact that you have subscribed to my YouTube channel xD (because of the language I even have an idea). I'm looking forward to the next year with you! Thank you so much for dealing with my craziness and still likes me!

@kyril-hphm : muahahahaha. You can't escape me !!! Yes, what should I say? One of my big three even made friends with me. One of my Senpais noticed me! And then it's a lovely fluffy marshmallow! I still think it's funny that we have such similar circuits and hearts! Nevertheless you are an incredibly honest, loving and talented person. I've never told you before, but sometimes I stare (for 20 minutes +) at your drawings to improve my style (just not working so far). You are an honest person and I am happy every time we talk, or when you react to my content. I would like to say thank you for that too! You are great and you can trust yourself more.

@carewyncromwell : my Chinese fireball, my Disney princess. Yes, for me you exude the aura of a Disney princess and nothing can change my mind. So! You were one of the first friends I made here on tumblr and one of the first to write with me! I still remember how proud and nervous I was back then! Just when I was in the hospital on Halloween and couldn't sleep that night, you kept texting me and distracting me from my fear. That means a lot to me. You are such a creative and lovable person too. Ah, that's just amazing. Your comments or hashtags always make me grin or laugh. Thank you for all your support and help!

@catohphm : my fluffier Ravenclaw brother!!! Of course you can't be missing either. I also write with you almost every day and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and your support. I just love the energy between Samantha and Cato. And it's always fun to write RP with you! Thank you for being such a lovely and kind person!

@mira-shard : MIRAAAAAAA! It's kind of funny how long we've basically walked next to each other without talking to each other. And now I don't want to miss you anymore! You are such a fun and happy person. Writing with you is just fun! I also love your cosplay photos. Someday I'll come to visit you, and then we'll do cosplay shootings together until the camera bleeds! I would also like to thank you for your support and your kindness.

@sirfluffig : ha. I hope you didn't think you were escaping me! Where should I start with you? Maybe that you were one of the first to give me such lovely feedback on Samantha? Or this super funny stream and that you helped me to stream in English? Or just like that, when we talk about our MCs or pen and paper. It's definitely always fun. I want to thank you for that and I'm looking forward to playing together again soon (get Among us)

@nightrhea-hphm : * run into you in slowmotion * Night! My wonderful supportive Gremlin! I've grown very fond of them over the years. And your support and feedback are just amazing. I also love the friendship between Night and Samantha. I think it's very similar to ours, right? You are also such an incredibly creative and lovable person. You make you feel like it's ok to be who you are. Thank you!

Of course there are many, many more like @rosievixen, @wangxianforever000 , @mollydarling-hphm , @morningstarinwinter , @hogwarts9, @hphm-brooke , @raymondhope-writer , @nikyiscreepy , @immagrosscandy , @mizutoyama , @ariparri-hphm and many many more.

I want to thank you all for your encouragement, support and feedback. You are the reasons why I am adding more and more details to this blog, why I dared to start with the fan comic and many more.

It's still so amazing for me to meet so many talented, creative, kind and funny people.

This year showed me again that life isn't just black or white. Life is Grey. Good things and bad things happen. Sometimes one side more than the other side. But as long we are taking the next step, life wl continues. Just keep in mind, as like you support me, I want to support you. So if you ever wanna talk, no matter what, remember you guys can always contact me.

I'm really looking forward to next year and already have so many plans. I can not wait any longer. Enjoy the last days of the year, stay safe and most important: they the way you are guys!

Love you all so much.

#My end of the year thank you #Personal #Ooc #My year 2020 #God my heart beating so fast #Don't know why but these post makes me nervous #Very personal #Cry counter while writing this: 4 #Yeah so adult xD #Like I care #Hope you all enjoyed the Christmas holidays #Love you all #Such a great community #Never saw this before #💙❤️💚💛

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pffbts · 4 years

Note

Mornings with Soonyoung🥺👉🏻👈🏻

―GENRE: fluff; comfort, just two people can`t get enough of the touch of each other`s skin.

―CHARACTERS: kwon soonyoung x reader | no supporting character.

―W.C: 1.5K (was supposed to be less than 1K but lol)

―AUTHOR`S NOTE: oh to wake up next to the person you love, adore & cherish with every fiber of your existence *sighs* WHAT HAVE YOU MADE ME DO ANON. THIS IS THE CHEESIEST THING and the most amazing thing i want to share with something :((( thank you so much from the deepest part of my heart for requesting this, lovely anon :) happy reading & stay safe! & i love you so much <3

[07:12 AM] [you thought of your person when you woke up today, right?]

―if comfort was a person for you, it would be kwon soonyoung ; definitely only him in this world.

when he wakes up though he looks like a baby who is lost in the midst of a crowd. his furrowed brows, his eyes still mostly closed, his lips so puffed up that the temptation to kiss him even this early in the morning just doesn`t go away from your head.

you watch him burrow his neck into the blanket more as he tries stretching out. he intakes a deep breath and tries blinking his eyes to look at you―to you, who is wide awake at seven in the morning; staring at the love of your life with the softest smile on your face.

your body turned towards him, just your head like him peaking from the under the shared blanket with soonyoung.

he stares at you for a while. blinking seamlessly, trying to process why are you probably looking at him this early in the morning with the most loving face. he was confused, you see. but as his brain started the engine slowly, soonyoung felt himself smiling back at you.

you tried stopping yourself from letting out a big smile, squinting your lips together but all it came out was a wheeze-like giggle. soonyoung pushed his face against the pillow―muffling out his laughter but you definitely saw his cheeks lifting up and a sneak peek of his gums from the side.

when he finally looked back at you, when you both have finally stabled yourselves and not ended up into another fit of laughter, you moved a little closer to him.

though soonyoung didn`t move his head any further towards you, you felt his arm snaking around your waist, resting at your back under the blanket. with almost like a few centimetre gaps in-between both of your faces, you pulled out of your hand from under the blanket and placed your palm against his forehead.

soonyoung closed his eyes as soon as the skin of his forehead met with the warmth of your palm. you caressed his forehead along with his cheek, re-arranging his bangs that remained half-sticking to his forehead and half standing in the air.

in return, soonyoung felt his own hand moving on their own. coming out of the blanket, he placed his own palm against the side of your face. under his skin, he felt the lift of your cheekbones, the trough of your eyes, your skin that was oozing with warmth so gentle it felt like velvet. the tip of his thumb ended up caressing the corner of your lips that was currently a little chapped, but he didn`t mind. he would still kiss you. he was just simply worried about his own puffed-up lips, almost looking like a bee stung him in the sleep.

after a while of caressing the side of your face, his hand moved down, tracing your side jaw, the skin of your neck, that sweet spot where he would kiss you before a good night sleep or when he hugs you from the back, he would always let his nose nibble at that spot and proceed to kiss you right there. he loved the feeling of you curling right in his arms when he does that. he would just simple hug your tighter when that happens moving his lips to kiss your ears.

his hand moved down further against your arm and then finally it met the small of your back as he pushed you a little more against him.

when you finally rested your palm against his cheek, soonyoung moved his head a bit to place a kiss against the skin of your palm. you smiled at him when he opened his eyes to look at your after the kiss.

soonyoung wanted for the world to stop right at this moment because the way you look at him now, it`s so loving, he doesn`t never want to stop you from looking at him like this. at this moment, soonyoung realized how much thankful he is for this moment to come in his life, for someone like you to come into his life and accept every bit of his into yours.

you made it look so easy―accepting all of his colours into your own bucket of paint. he never imagined love with you will be this slow, this feeling of being on his tippy toes, this random palm against his cheeks at seven in the morning or you surprise him by cooking his favourite food even when you don`t even like cooking or as simple as his arm resting on the curve of your body. he`s thankful you do these all for him and with him; somehow every time he looks at you, he wants to give back you something which is more than enough.

soonyoung just simply wants to cross every limit for you and of course, mostly for your smile.

but at present, he was thinking about what should he say to you now. should he greet you a good morning or just say how last night`s dinner at the local restaurant was so good he slept well after a long time?

you were looking at soonyoung and you knew he was probably thinking about something. probably something of how to say literally anything right now. you could see it through him and it`s strange because you never really notice such stuff with anyone else.

it`s like you suddenly have this superpower when it comes to soonyoung. when he`s in front of you, you become someone looking at a glass which reflects rainbows of emotions. it`s kinda corny to think like this but it`s okay as long as it`s for soonyoung. you`re sure he`s probably thinking of you in a cornier way.

before soonyoung could do anything or say anything, you moved your body a little lower and snuggled against his chest which was so warm you almost felt like your face was heating up. soonyoung pushing the blanket down a bit, he watched you with your eyes closed, calm washing over your face and simply taking in the heat from his heart.

at this moment, all soonyoung could do was put his chin on top of your head and close his eyes again and go into the dreamland yet again because apparently today`s good morning is going to have to wait a bit. there`s been a bit of a delay in its arrival.

fin.

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suknas · 4 years

Text

First Line Tag Game II

Tagged by @ruluxe (who dared to say that I have fanfics that I'm "holdin out on us" -- it is true tho lol)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening lines then tag 10 of your favorite authors.

Tagging: Everyone who wants to do this! (I'm not sure which authors are still active here ;-;)

Now we all know how inconsistent I am. But I do like starting with what's going on with the characters/where they are... Don't I? Well I decided to start with the most recent published ones, descending to the first ones published (skipping some), and finally some of my WIP/"One day I will finish" fanfics.

Quick fun fact: I didn't remember writing most of those fanfics lol

So here we go!!!! (it's gonna be a bumpy ride)

1. Into the Storm [GrimmIchi]: The lightning and thundering's brightness and strong noises were slicing the dark-blue sky of a lonely and sleepless night. A storm was coming. The heavy rain and gusts of wind were not the only thing rapidly creeping through the night. Kurosaki Ichigo could sense something else approaching along with the dark clouds and the pouring rain that now was hitting his window. [2021 (but the draft was from 2017 maybe), Bleach]

2. Ascension [AoKaga]: Light appeared in the darkness and soon darkness became insignificant before the beauty and immensity of the bright light surrounding a tall and masculine figure. He walked calmly through the uncertain route that many others once also stepped into it. He had a goal. The time to seek the one whom he had once shared many memories with, good and bad. The one person whom he had loved immensely but had never gotten to experience that feeling truly and at its fullest. The time had finally come. [2021 (again the draft was probably from 2016), Kuroko no Basket]

3. The One Where Prompto Does Not Want To Be In The Middle [Gladios x Prompto x Noctis x Ignis]: Sleeping in the camping tent was always a challenge in Prompto’s opinion. It is not as if he does not like camping, it was pretty nice being able to sit under the stars and gaze them, it was relaxing. Sometimes Noctis would sit behind him, embracing him in a warm hug. They would spend a long time chatting and exchanging affectionate touches until both of them felt like sleeping. Other times Gladio would join him, and the shield would let the blond lay his head on his lap. More often than not Prompto ended up sleeping while feeling his hair being played by dexterous and caring fingers. And whenever Ignis had time to spare, he would also join him after cleaning the mess they did during dinner. [2020 (again the draft was maybe from 2017), Final Fantasy XV]

4. The Owl Who Got Caught [KuroTsuki + Bokuto]: The third day of the training camp was finally over. Soon, everybody was running to the school cafeteria to grab something to eat. In the meantime, while nobody was looking, Kuroo took the opportunity to take Tsukishima’s hand, guiding him to the room that the Nekoma team was sharing; closing the door right after they entered. Nekoma and Karasuno’s middle blockers became closer ever since their first practice game, now they were spending more time together, and their relationship had an unexpected development. [2020 (draft probably from 2017), Haikyuu]

5. A Boyfriend Text [KuroTsuki]: Laying in his bed with a smile on the lips Kuroo was texting his sweet strawberry shortcake boyfriend. Eyes rapt, staring at the bright screen in the dark room; he was feeling anxious if his stupid smile and trembling fingers were any indicator.

TETSUROU: Wanna come over this weekend?

It had been some weeks since they had the opportunity to meet; school and volleyball practice were mostly the reason for their inevitable long separation. Week after week something "magically" came up in their agendas, but Kuroo was hopeful, however, that maybe this time their schedules would finally allow them to meet. [2020, Haikyuu]

6. Domestic Bliss [KiriBaku]: Sitting comfortably on the couch, Kirishima and Bakugou were finally spending some time together after a rough week. It was one of those rare days where both could enjoy a peaceful and uneventful afternoon. To say that both men were lazily on the couch doing absolutely nothing productive was not very accurate. Bakugou was doing something with his spear time, he was reading a book. By his focused attention on the pages, anyone could tell that he was enjoying his reading and only someone stupid would dare to bother him. [2017, Boku no Hero Academia]

7. Getting Together [KiriBaku]: “Let’s grab something to eat!” The blonde shouted after stretching his arms above his head. Bakugou’s red eyes fixed on the figure of Kirishima, who was sitting comfortably in bed with his back against the headboard.The redhead’s own red eyes snapped at the figure on the chair, eyeing him from head to toe; he spaced out in no second. Kirishima wanted to touch those damn nice muscled arms, which were slowly lowered down while his hands were placed on his toned thighs. Kirishima couldn’t help himself and started to imagine Bakugou’s whole body underneath him wrapping his body with those strong legs and arms. [2017, Boku no Hero Academia]

8. AoKaga short stories collection [AoKaga]: The atmosphere of the place was hot and heavy. However, because of that, the two teens lying down on the bed were more connected than ever. Their bare bodies were united white skin with dark skin. Their breaths were out of rhythm and their hands slid skillfully on each other’s bodies. The movements were synchronized and intense. The pleasurable moans and whispers echoed in the dark room, making the place even more delightful for both of them. [2017 - Short Story #4, Kuroko no Basket]

9. It's Picture Time! [Pomptis]: In the Regalia, Prompto and Ignis were heading to the nearest outpost from their camping spot to get some supplies for the night. The sun on the horizon was almost hiding behind the tree path by Prompto’s right side, the scenery formed by dim light and shadowy dark spots caught Prompto’s eyes.“Wow! Look at the light, it’s amazing!” the blond shouted, “Can’t we stop just for a bit?” Prompto was thrilled by the idea of adding more photos to his portfolio. [2017, Final Fantasy XV]

10. That Side of You [MiSawa]: Miyuki was laying in the bed on his back, eyes glassy, hands shaking and skin hot. The body above his was driving him to a place where it was absolute bliss and pleasure. Hips moved together, swinging with movements that were making Miyuki moans the pitcher’s name in a short and breathless tone.“Sa-wamura– Aah! Do that again,” his voice low and hoarse made the order sound weak, and his usual snarky tone was lost a long time ago in some part of his foggy mind. [2016, Diamond no Ace]

11. Runaround [Sterek]: Everything was set neatly on the kitchen table. Stiles was going to be there soon, so Derek had already prepared every single book and even snacks that they may need for their studying.It wasn't new that both of them were hanging out for studying matters. Actually, Derek had come up with the idea first, mainly because he was having some issues involving fast heartbeats and some inconvenient hard-ons whenever Stiles was around. He had a ridiculous crush on his friend. However, the smart geek boy didn't have to know about that. [2016, Teen Wolf]

12. Eavesdropping [MiSawa]: Sawamura’s suspicions must be right for his sake. Otherwise, Miyuki would make sure his so careless kouhai would pay a high price for being so noisy about Kuramochi and Ryou-senpai making out when no one was seeing. The closed and almost claustrophobic locker didn’t have enough space to move around, but he and Sawamura managed to fit in somehow. So what? They were eavesdropping, and he still couldn’t say that he was regretting this. [2016, Diamond no Ace]

13. Sterek Short Stories Collection [Sterek]: Stiles had broken up with his last boyfriend a couple of months ago. Or it was what he usually says to Scott when his best friend asks him why he isn’t over his past relationship. Because according to Scott, it’s been a year and a half since Stiles had parted ways with, at the time, his other half. And right now it was one of those times.“You should move on. I haven't seen you with no one since then. What about Danny? Last night I saw him flirting with you, and when I looked again you were nowhere to be found, but Danny was still there drinking alone. And let not forget your grumpy humor because your sex life sucks. It's getting old bro.” [2015 - Short Story #3, Teen Wolf]

14. Urge [AoKaga]: The small public bathroom stall in that bar hadn't been made for sure to accommodate two giants, dumbasses, and impulsive basketball players. Nevertheless, this fact wasn’t that important for the Too player neither to the Seirin player. Kagami was already pressing his body against Aomine’s, who was stuck between the wall and Kagami while his mouth was being devoured by the other’s tongue. Both were fighting into that kiss as if there was no tomorrow. Their hands were traveling quickly by each other’s body, and quickly they were undoing their pants’ zippers and buttons. Their shirts were all messy, as well as their hair. Their breaths were heavy, and the kisses now were directed to their necks, sucking and biting the skin exposed. Soft moans could be heard, but not loud enough to echo in the bathroom. [2013, Kuroko no Basket]

15. After Dancing Lessons [AoKaga]: The music was set up, and his hips started to move, his steps were guiding him to where a dark skinned guy was sat on a chair. The dancer's eyes were fixed in front of him. The watcher's eyes sparkled with excitement when the other sat on his lap, one leg on each side of his body, and kissed his cheeks along to his lips and chin, returning the same way till his ear, biting there slightly. The dancer felt the other hands trying to take his clothes off and immediately stood up, preventing to have those hands on his body so easily. [2013, Kuroko no Basket]

16. Sleep Well [ZoSan]: The night was agitated on board of the Sunny and lots of dirty dishes were pilled up on a corner of the sink. Sanji didn't have this time someone to help him to clean everything up. 'Those lazy bastards!' He frowned, 'all right! Let’s put all these things in their right place!' And with that thought, Sanji started the tiring process of doing all the dishes. On the bright side, if he was the one doing it everything would be spot on in no time. [2013, One Piece]

17. Possessive Lover [KidLaw / LawLu]: The bell indicating the change of periods rang and the students gradually began to leave one room to proceed to another. In the middle of changing classrooms, some students went to a quick trip to the bathroom, which was where that a spiky redhead boy was heading to. He had a dangerous gaze gleaming in his golden eyes; he had quite a threatening presence, and his looks did not lie about his fiery and explosive personality. Any sane person would prefer to avoid crossing paths with him or to even look the boy in the eyes. [2012, One Piece]

18. English Lesson [WIP, AoKaga]: The room was a mess. There were a lot of magazines, books, sheets, some snacks, three soda bottles, two hoodies and two pairs of sneakers all thrown on the floor. Sitting side by side, in front of the center table with notebooks and pens in hands were Kagami and Aomine. They had that idea of starting to study at each other’s places every Thursday night after their club activities. It was not like they liked to take a book, read it and think about the subject, the matter here was way bigger than just casual study. Their grades were in the red mark, which meant that they needed to rise them at least not to get scolded and taken off the basketball team. This time around Kagami was helping Aomine with his English study. The redhead was doing his best to try to explain, but he wasn’t that good at teaching those so detailed grammatical things… [unknown year - present, Kuroko no Basket]

19. High heels [WIP, KuroTsuki]: Tsukishima walked all proud on a black suit, white button-up shirt, grey tie and black stilettos in the room. Kuroo was watching his slow movements with a fierce look from the bed, where he was sat with his hands tied to the headboard by a soft cloth. Tsukishima stopped at the bed foot, looking straight at Kuroo. Ever so slowly, Tsukishima’s hands loosened the tie around his neck, the button-up shirt was having his buttons calmly undone, soon the shirt was wide open reviling Tsukishima's snow-white skin for Kuroo’s delight. [unknown year - present, Haikyuu]

20. Christmas thing / The untitled fanfic [WIP, AoKaga]: It was Christmas the snow was falling outside, many sparkle lights, so many decorations everywhere, people receiving and giving presents, eating together and singing songs. A day to celebrate and stay with family and friends. A day full of joy and happiness.At Kagami's house every single tradition was made. Kagami invited the Seirin basketball team to celebrate, but it ended up with some unexpected guests, the self-invited guests were some of Touou basketball team. And of course, Aomine Daiki was there. The redhead didn't even want to know how Aomine had found out about his little party. He'd bet that Kuroko had told something to Momoi and she kindly invited Aomine and the rest of the troupe. [unknown year - present, Kuroko no Basket]

#ruluxe #tag game #Kuroos got tagged #that was fun and I'm also embarrassed that I wrote some of these lol #aokaga #kurotsuki #grimmichi #sterek #misawa #kiribaku #zosan #lawlu #kidlaw #kuroosden #Kuroos writing again

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henryobsessed · 4 years

Text

The Borrower and Her Bean Part 11

Summary: Henry rescues Melina, and is now desperately hoping she will wake up.

Word Count: 1670

Warning: mention of nudity and stalking

A/N sorry for the delay had a block on this story, but i think its running again :)

Part 10 - Part 12

Melina's little body was limp and cold. Henry raced to his bedroom removed his shirt and then carefully removed her outer garments. Once she was only in her underwear he placed her on his stomach. Pulling a thick blanket over her. Slowly he rubbed her body with his thumb through the blanket pleading for her to wake up.

Kal noticing his masters panic. He jumped on the bed and smelling his friend placed his nose right near Melina. "Good job Kal, keep breathing your warm air on lina." Henry's heart thumbed as he continued to rub her little body. Wondering what else he could do he looked out at the night sky it's inky blackness only enhanced the brightness of the stars. Remembering her lullaby wondered if it would help her as it had helped him. His deep cadence hesitantly filled the room as he began to sing.

The silvery eyes silently watched as the bean tried to revive the borrower. They heard his song, a call to their kind, echo around the room. They watch as the little body began to breathe and then moan a sign of life. The Beans shoulders shook as relief was replaced with sorrow. His deep voice softly reached their ears. "My Lina, calls out to you her dreams to become like me, I don't know if you are really there or if you have the power. So let me add my request to hers, if I can become a borrower please let it be." Both eyes set on each other, they twinkled in delight and mischief.

Melina was trapped in the cold darkness, unable to move, unable to wake. A tiny glow lit ahead of her, growing larger as she felt pulled towards it. Suddenly she heard a deep melodic voice calling her name, then the sweet melody of her lullaby. Warmth engulfed her as she felt drawn to the voice. Her body tingled all over as her nerve ending burned to life causing a moan to escape her lips. Above her, she heard her beans sigh then the whisper of prayer before she fell into a deep sleep.

Henry smelt a warm current of hot putrid air pushing at his body. Groaning he opened his eyes and then shut them tightly against the image before him. Willing himself to wake up he tried again but the image didn't change. Beside him lay the sleeping Melina her arms hugging his duvet, that in itself was enough to cause him to believe he was still dreaming. However, what turned this into a nightmare was the large black mussel and an open-mouthed cavern filled with large teeth in front of Melina accentuating the fact that Melina had not grown but he had shrunk.

Hoping he was just stuck in a terrible dream he decided to make the most of it. Moving closer he wrapped Melina up in his arms. The feel of her soft skin, and the gentle movement of her chest bringing calm to his freaked out mind. Hoping to wake up in their familiar size differences he pulled the duvet over himself shut his eyes and willed himself to sleep.

Melina awoke to a groaning in her ear and an odd sensation, something heavy laid across her chest. She tried to move her arm to free herself of the constraint. It was at this moment that it became clear that another borrower was holding her close. The arm was not familiar, it was not Carson or Greg or even her father but it was definitely a male. Panic welled up in her as the arm pulled her close into his hard body. Soft lips nuzzled into her neck and moaned "Lina". Twisting her body around to face the stranger she gasped, shock numbing her speech as she stared at a sleeping Henry. Not her gigantic bean but now a borrower size bean.

She reached out a hand to touch his face as it scrunched up in his familiar nightmare grimace. Her hand now ran over his entire cheek rather than just grazing his cheekbone. Concern trumped her shock and she fell into the familiar routine of a song. Her sweet voice filling the air and his face relaxed, his eyes opened. Sleep hazed they held the same look of shock as they filled with tears "It wasn't a dream"

He burrowed into her arms seeking assurance that he would be ok, her arms hesitantly wrapped around him. It was not exactly how he had envisioned their coming together, in fact, it was completely the opposite. Instead of him comforting a scared and confused Lina, showing her his world and hoping she would stay. It was Henry scared and confused seeking Lina's comfort. Hoping that she would not be still angry at him, and she would show him her world. Eyes tight he was unable to think of anything else but clinging to the one who he desperately needed.

Melina was so confused and in reality, she was still angry with Henry, but this was an extraordinary situation. As he clung to her she hesitantly wrapped him up in her arms. It was confusing her senses now having her bean clinging tightly to her body. She rubbed his back in small circles as his shuddering breaths started to even out. Running her hand through his hair, something she had never been able to do before, she spoke softly to her bean "It's going to be ok Henry, your not alone." He looked up at her his eyes red and puffy, causing Melina's heart to clench. Determining to put aside her anger she was going to help him adjust as a borrower, it didn't mean she had to trust him, but she didn't have to be angry with him anymore.

It took a while for Melina to shift from full concern for Henry to questioning her own predicament. Her last memory was going to get Ice cream so how did she end up in his bed? it was at that moment that she also realised something else. A deep blush coloured her face as she felt that she was skin to skin with her bean. Hesitant to cause him more turmoil she softly said: "Henry, I need you to move away from me and tuck the blanket around you" having returned his face to her shoulder he mumbled, "Why lina?" biting her lip and fighting the embarrassment she started to lift his arm from her waist "because for some reason I am only in my undergarments ...... and I don't think your boxers shrunk with you" It took all of 2 seconds for her Bean to spring back from her his face also now coloured a Rosie hue of red.

He couldn't look at her, how had he not realised that he was completely naked. He heard her sigh before speaking "Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. It makes sense that they didn't shrink with you. But what doesn't make sense is how I am here in your bed and also almost naked." Pushing past the embarrassment he looked up at her frowning face, "well, umm you got locked in the freezer and when I got to you your body was turning blue. So I did what they suggest for hypothermia, Skin on Skin to warm you up slowly. " He knew that was only the half-truth and hope she would not ask. Her forehead deepened and she took a breath "Ok, Thank you. but how did you know I was trapped in the freeze?"

His red cheeks deepened further in colour as he rubbed the back of his neck a tell tail sign what she was about to hear she would not like. His eyes did not quite reach hers as he explained "Well when you and your family disappeared, I missed you all. I kind of got desperate to see you so I set up cameras. I slept during the day and watched the cameras at night just in hope of getting to see you again. That how I knew you were in trouble because I watched it happen" Melina's mouth opened in surprise at his actions. It confirmed her need to not trust him, but still, she realised that if he had not been watching she would be dead now. She thought for a few minutes trying to get the nervousness down before addressing the problem.

Gathering a breath and pulling the blanket tighter around her she said" In one way I am grateful that you saved me, and that you were watching when it happened. However, can you see how that behaviour is another invasion of privacy?" echoing her action of pulling himself deeper into his section of blanket her bit his lip and replied "I'm Sorry lina, I'm sorry I read your diary, once I realised it was a diary I should have put it down, I'm also sorry for putting up the cameras. The reason I came to see you that day was to apologise for my words that night. I don't just want you to be here as my dream catcher. I actually care about you and maybe that why last night when I thought about losing you I asked the stars to make me a borrower........I guess they heard me. Do you forgive me, Lina"

The atmosphere between the two of them was very heavy, both afraid of what the other felt. Henry watched as his Lina tried to come to terms with what he had said. Hoping he would not be rejected as he had been before he waited. She looked up at him and was about to speak when the sound of Kal's loud whine was heard. They both looked into the monstrous puppy's face, his large pink tongue lols out in a panting motion. Groaning Henry glanced at Melina in concern "How are we supposed to feed him?" chuckling she said, "We will work it out, that is part of being a borrower, problem-solving."

I have Tagged people who follow me and who I follow if you want to be removed or added please let me know :)

@keanureevesisbae @darkverrmin @viking-raider@littlefreya@madbaddic7ed @the-soot-sprite @thelastsock@lovetusilver20@crimsonrae @demivampirew@ladyreapermc@henrycavillobsessed @nitannichionne@runawayolives @heartfelt-pen @omgkatinka @star017 @llly113 @sad-ghost-of-garbage @ayamenimthiriel @starstruckkittyangel @summersong69 @notyouraveragemochii @imneonpanda @carriebee1 @ivyfatale @thereisa8ella @lucy930@sarahmichelle5 @stuckupstucky @cleodoramer @kmuir1@elliepower @xobriellaxo24 @xxxkatxo @supernovacocorocha@hennerslionhat @xo-mery-ox @waitedforlove743 @ladamari68@coksy @wickedrum @harleyfranquinn @mysticalstrangerearthquake @justrae9903 @willkatfanfromasia@daddys-littlewhitegirl @cavilladdict @lebguardians@theblondetumbleweed @snowbellexx @radaofrivia@geralttheewitcher @acdd22 @lana-rose5 @skorimizize @abschaffer2

#theborrowerandherbean #the borrowers #HenryCavill #henry cavill fanfic #little #giant

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ughgclden · 3 years

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bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

#asks <3 #anon asks!#star anon #long post

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