#i feel like if he lived and i had to choose between kenny and him rather than kenny and jane i would have a much harder time

[jvliefleur]

NOT BAMBI ALSO BEING A LUKE GIRLY, I SEE YOU

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

valentine's on a budget

pairing: non-idol bf!Seungkwan x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, established relationship!AU - minors dni.

warnings: a serious argument, mentions of financial troubles, crying, mentions of getting sick

smut warnings: making out, marking, teasing, dirty talk, use of petnames, fingering, nipple and breast play, minor panty stuffing, minor lingerie kink, oral sex (f rec), edging, mentions of multiple orgasms.

word count: 2.4k

summary: Valentine's day is the holiday you're waiting for the most every single year - but a certain mishap brings a series of events that might test your relationship.

Author's note: hello beloveds! i am finally back haha. this is my entry for the Cupid For You @svthub collab, hosted by my dear @wongyuseokie and the fic is solely dedicated to @dirtysvthoughts 💕I hope you will enjoy this fic Kenny, happy Valentine's and Carat day🥰

©multi-kpop-fanfics, 2024. No reposting allowed. No translations allowed without permission.

Valentine’s Day. Probably one of the days you’re anticipating the most within the year.

Knowing your boyfriend, he has planned something really exciting and fancy for the two of you - he always knows how to treat you right (and not just on Valentine’s).

When you accidentally found out about the reservation he had made in one of your favorite restaurants, you were smiling like a maniac and feeling giddy like a highschool girl. You could already imagine yourself in your favorite velvet dress and a pair of strappy heels, makeup and hair on fleek. Of course, there was no way you would let Seungkwan know he was busted, it would hurt his pride immensely.

That is, if things hadn’t gone to absolute hell.

“What do you mean the reservation was canceled?” You ask him with a baffled expression.

“You heard me. No fancy dinner tonight.” Seungkwan purses his lips in a thin line.

“Please tell me you’re just trying to mess around with me.”

“I wish I was, but I was forced to cancel it.”

“Forced? By what?!”

“My fucking bank account, Y/N.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“That’s….. I cannot tell you.”

“What do you mean you cannot tell me?! We’re literally sharing a home and a life!” You yell at him.

“I know! But I seriously cannot tell you! I just fucking can’t!” Seungkwan loses his temper.

“What makes it so hard for you to tell me the reason?!”

“My fucking pride!” He yells back.

Silence befalls the living room

“Of all the days to break my heart, I didn’t think you’d pick today.” You say with a monotonous voice, “But I guess your pride is more important.”

Seungkwan lets out something akin to a scoff before turning on his heel to walk out of the house. His action catches you off guard - he’s not the type to just walk away from an argument, let alone of this caliber.

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes in displeasure, going back to the bedroom to remove your dress and shoes.

Taking a glance in the mirror leaves an even more sour aftertaste in your mouth, as you were hoping you would be taking off these clothes a few hours later and perhaps in a more vulgar way. You push these thoughts away as you change into comfy clothes and go to the bathroom, picking up your makeup remover and cleanser to take off your makeup.

The one hour you spent perfecting your face is wiped off in seconds, as if it never existed in the first place. But again, you choose to push away the thoughts of Valentine’s dinner away.

You go back to the living room and sit on the couch, turning on the television to zap between channels. 

The house feels quite empty without your boyfriend around, but you’re not in the headspace to deal with him at the moment.

That is, until you hear thundering outside.

Great, now he’s going to get all soaked, you think, grumbling to yourself. Whatever, he’s a grown man, he should know how to take care of himself.

The thundering grows louder and you can now hear heavy rain pouring on the streets and hitting the windows. You get up from your seat and slide the curtain to the side, your worries growing bigger.

You pick up your phone and dial Seungkwan’s number, but you’re horrified when you hear his phone ringing between the couch pillows.

“Fuck.” You curse and run back to the bedroom to grab a pair of boots and your umbrella, terrified that something bad could potentially happen to your boyfriend.

As soon as you run back to the door and turn the knob to open it, you’re greeted with a soaking wet Seungkwan, whose eyes are colored red - possibly from crying.

“I’m sorry.” He sniffles, shaking like a leaf.

“God, please get inside.” You pull him on the entrance carpet and close the door behind him. “Stay here, I’ll be back soon.”

You make a short trip to the bathroom and return with two towels in your hands, handing them over to Seungkwan.

“Thank you.” He mutters and starts patting the towels to soak the excess water off his clothes.

“You can thank me after you take a shower. Can’t risk you getting sick.”

Seungkwan nods wordlessly and carefully walks towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him. You let out a puff of air through your mouth when you hear the shower tap running and you take off your boots, setting them next to the doormat. 

You’re not stupid -  the elephant in the room is too big to ignore and you don’t intend to just gaze upon it. You return to the bedroom and sit on the mattress, picking your phone from your pocket. It accidentally slips from your fingers and falls on the floor with a loud thud.

“Fuck.” You kneel down to grab your phone, but an unfamiliar box hidden under the bed catches your attention. You struggle a bit to take it out, but you manage to bring it in front of you.

You notice the seal has already been cracked and your eyes widen when you open the box to reveal a brand new laptop.

“What the hell?” You narrow your eyes. “Why is a laptop here?”

“Why do you think it’s here?”

Seungkwan’s voice catches you off guard and you whip your head around to face him.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or is it going to hurt your pride?”

“This laptop is for you, Y/N.” He admits with a neutral expression.

“For me?”

“Yeah, since the one you had completely broke down.”

“How do you even know that?!”

“I saw the receipt from the shop you took it to get it fixed. The owner didn’t charge you and he wrote comments. It’s not hard to put two and two together.”

“Still, what does that have to do with canceling the reservation?” You cross your arms in front of your chest.

“Well, I weighed my options and decided that getting you a new laptop was more imminent and would relieve you of the stress of not being able to work properly and whether you would spend a hefty amount of money on a new device.”

Your features soften when you piece everything together.

“You….used the reservation money for the laptop?”

“Pretty much.” Seungkwan rubs the back of his neck. “Although I hated that I had to ruin Valentine’s because of that. But I didn’t want to watch you be upset because of one dumb device breaking down.”

You can’t help but want to burst into tears after your boyfriend’s confession. 

“I wish I had more money to give you both the laptop and the dinner date, but capitalism kinda hates fun, I guess.”

“Oh my God, Kwan, I-” You cover your mouth with your hands, keeping your sobs from escaping.

“Y/N, it’s okay, it was my fault too.” Your boyfriend wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back soothingly.

“God, I feel like such an asshole right now.”

“Well, to be honest, I wasn’t any better. If I had told you about the laptop from the beginning, nothing would have happened.”

“I’m so sorry.” You give him a muffled apology, hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m sorry too, darling.”

“It’s just that-” You wipe away your tears, “I was really looking forward to that dinner and I had coordinated my entire outfit inside out and all that.”

“I mean…. It’s not too late to check out the inside…” Seungkwan pouts his lips with sneaky glances.

“Well…..I still have it on…” You look at him with a grin, “Do you want to unwrap me?”

“I was a little strapped for cash this year. Do you want to unwrap me instead?” He raises his brow teasingly. “You can think of it as an apology.”

Your grin grows wider and you untie the knot of his bathrobe, letting it fall open to reveal his naked body. You don’t hesitate to take off your clothes and show him the cotton candy pink lacey set you bought recently, just for tonight.

“Holy shit, Y/N, a man could die here.” Seungkwan lets out a ragged breath.

“Mmm, you seem perfectly fine to me.” You smirk and kneel in front of him, slowly wrapping your hand around his half-hard cock. You look up to your boyfriend once before sliding out your tongue to give his shaft a few licks to test the waters.

“Ever the tease, aren’t you?” He threads his hand in your hair and you giggle, kissing the tip of his cock.

“Well, serves you right for putting me through misery.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it.” Seungkwan chuckles and pulls you on your feet, lightly shoving you on the bed. He discards the bathrobe on the floor and climbs over you, capturing your lips in a quite hungry kiss.

“You have no idea how nuts you drive me.”

“Is this about the argument or the lacey set?”

“Both. But talking isn’t the thing we’re supposed to be doing now.”

“I know. You should be doing me.” You grin on his lips.

“Ever the smartass, huh?” You can feel him grinning back.

“Takes one to know one.”

He takes another look at you and the grin is still plastered on his face. Except this time, he wordlessly runs his hands over the semi-sheer lace covering your breasts, his fingertips toying with the delicate material. He carefully slides it down to uncover your soft flesh, deft digits eagerly playing with your taut nipples.

“Mm, that feels nice.” You exhale in satisfaction and you part your legs to let your boyfriend slot himself between them.

“I can give you better than nice.” He whispers and pinches the buds, eliciting a whine from your mouth. He pinches them and rolls them a bit harder, forcing your back to arch off the bed.

“That’s more like it.” He licks his bottom lip and dives his head to attach his lips on your breasts, making out with the plush mounds. He keeps his mouth busy with your nipples, all while his right hand descends towards your neglected core.

“Kwan, please touch me more.” You beg with a whiny voice, wiggling your hips to get some kind of friction.

“You know, for someone who was really angry just half an hour ago, you’re quite the needy little thing right now.” He teases you more about your earlier behavior.

“I said I’m sorry!” You defend yourself.

“I know, darling. I wasn’t planning on keeping you high and dry.” He smiles sweetly as he slides his hand between your folds, moaning lowly as he lets his fingers get soaked in your arousal.

He plunges two of his slender fingers in your pussy, enjoying the way your walls clench greedily around them. Stilling them for a few seconds, he keeps making out with your chest, a few red marks already blooming on your skin.

“God, just stop teasing, please! I’m begging you!” You whine louder and wrap your legs around his back.

“You sound so cute when you beg for me, it almost makes me want to keep you wanting more.” 

“You’re mean.” You put your lips in a pout.

“But I’m also madly in love with you.” Seungkwan presses one last kiss on the valley of your breasts and he climbs down to bring himself on eye level with your lace-clad pussy.

He retracts his fingers and tugs the lace crotch upwards, making you moan and fist the sheets in response. Your reactions urge him to tug on it a bit harder, the thin material rubbing over your clit. Your entrance clenches in a needy manner, your slick gushing out and soaking the pink lace. 

“Eager to make it your second skin, aren’t you, darling?” Your boyfriend comments as he digs the pads of his fingers on your panties to push them in your hole, just enough to make them stick on your pussy.

“I’m n-not the sole c-culprit here.” You stutter, bucking your hips to get a bit more friction.

“One does not negate the other.” He bites back, pulling your panties away from your body, not missing the clear strings of your juices connecting to the fabric. He throws them somewhere in the room and gently unwraps your legs from his back.

He parts them open with his hands, finally uncovering your pussy.

“So worth the wait.” He whispers and licks a fat stripe over your slit, collecting your slick on his tongue.

“Oh God, yes.” You lean your head back on the pillow, your hand creeping in Seungkwan’s hair. The touch you were craving this whole time is finally yours and you couldn’t feel more blissful.

Sex with Seungkwan is never boring, but foreplay? It’s his fucking specialty.

Part of you wants to keep your eyes closed and get lost in the moment, but part of you also wants to keep them wide open and watch your boyfriend worship your cunt.

He uses his thumbs to keep your folds apart and make space for his tongue to re-explore your cunt and savor it like a Michelin star worthy meal.

“Have I told you before that you have the prettiest pussy in the world?” He peeks his head from between your legs.

“At least once during sex, Kwan. Not that I mind, of course.” You tug on his blond hair.

He flashes you a cocky smirk and purposefully circles your clit with the tip of his tongue, never breaking eye contact.

Your thighs clench on the bed, struggling to keep them still. If it wasn’t for Seungkwan’s hands, his head could have been crushed. 

His assault on your bundle of nerves is relentless and the buildup to your climax picks up the pace. 

You don’t want this to end yet, you want him to stay like this for the rest of the night, if possible.

All of a sudden, everything stops and you’re left on the edge of your orgasm, a loud whine bouncing off the walls of the bedroom.

“This might sound cheesy, but will you be my Valentine?” He asks you with doe eyes and glossy, cum covered lips.

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to say this right between my legs.” You protest from above, almost mad at him for ripping all stimulation away from you.

“I also have the nerve to edge you until you give me an answer.” He smirks.

“Fuck, how could I ever not want to be your Valentine?!” 

“Good to know.” Seungkwan grins wider.

“Because the night is still young and only one orgasm won’t cut it.”

[themastermarkus]

Why Erwin Smith in Season 3 and the Choice in Midnight Sun Doesn't Work.

In Season 3 (excuse me for using “seasons” to mark out the arcs, as I do mean the equivalent time in the manga, it’s just simpler since this problem is spread out between all the arcs in that season), Isayama sets up Erwin’s intense guilt over sending soldiers to their deaths for his goal of wanting to learn the truth of humanity and the titans—dspite it making no sense for him to feel like his goal is selfish, as finding out the origin of the titans is already established to be part of the goal of the Survey Corps. It’s fine for Erwin to feel guilty for making calls that lead to peoples’ deaths, but Isayama seems to write Erwin as though he is objectively in the moral wrong despite the fact that using people to fulfill his personal goal is indistinguishable from if he just took over the Survey Corps and kept doing what they already did. I suppose it might be implied that he encouraged more research about the titans which… is not a bad thing when they fight the titans. Otherwise in the rebellion arc he has Survey Corps soldiers dying for him in fights against the government, but I never got the impression that he was forcing anyone into it under orders.

It feels very out of character for Levi not to choose to save Erwin. Kenny’s line about “everyone being a slave to something” that’s referenced in the moment of that decision doesn’t work because Erwin has not been shown to have a harmful, slavish obsession, just a personal goal that he throws himself into more recently since the opportunity to achieve it has presented itself (Not to mention that Erwin is like… metres away from his goal when this choice is being made, after which point he would no longer “be a slave to it”). Not giving the serum to Erwin does not feel like a choice that Levi, the character, would make given how close he and Erwin are implied to be. Instead, it feels like Levi is making the choice as if he only knows as much about Erwin and Armin as the audience does and is making a choice that could reasonably go either way because WE know both characters roughly as much, or Armin even better than Erwin, really. The problem is that this doesn’t realistically consider Levi’s experiences with each character, which is the choice between a man he’s known for years who changed his life dramatically, who he follows loyally and holds a lot of respect and affection for, and a kid that he’s come to care for in the general way that Levi cares for all the cadets, but he’s only known for like… a year max. It feels like choosing to save Armin is forced upon Levi because Isayama wanted Erwin to die and Armin to live and get the Colossal Titan because he came up with those story beats and was going to shove his way into them somehow.

On that note: Armin is just… I would say objectively the wrong choice. Armin is a character who is shown to be clever and driven (and everyone talks about how smart he is), he’s good at deduction but he’s not a tactician or a leader. He is brought back because Isayama wanted to have him, Mikasa, and Eren once again be crucial to the story at the end of it, not because it makes sense for the Survey Corps to sacrifice their COMMANDER for a cadet who has shown to be worth something, but clearly isn’t a replacement for a man who seems to be the best leader they’ve ever had. I think the choice of Armin could be more valid if Erwin was mentoring him (though still a stretch considering there’s nothing wrong with Erwin [at least nothing worth the mercy killing that Isayama seems to be portraying not using the serum on him as] and he’s only like 35 or something), but he’s not. Armin is only really, functionally important to the Survey Corps because he is close to Eren. Also, while this is probably my least-strong argument against picking Armin, but I feel like if Isayama wanted him to be convincingly still alive at that point, he probably should’ve had Armin a bit further away from Bertholdt’s explosion. That boy isn’t just externally burnt, he should have died like… immediately.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t even dislike Armin, nor do I think that Levi wouldn’t feel a bit of guilt for not saving him, I just hate bad writing that seems to rely so heavily on plot convenience, and I think that this point of the story is where it was really affirmed that things were going to go downhill pretty consistently (barring most of Reiner’s part at the beginning of the Marley arc, but that’s another subject).

P.S. I'm currently reading the manga for this part after having only watched the anime, so I might have more to say later, though I doubt that my opinions on these writing choices will change considering that I don't think the anime cut out SO MUCH that these choices will instead make sense.

[butteerfly]

Levi's mind

Levi desperately needed sleep.

He was so tired, so exhausted that his body moved by the inertia of surviving, fainting seemed imminent, yet it never came, his spirit refused to give in, he assumed. As a soldier, if he could avoid being squashed by a titan or getting a bullet between his eyebrows by an enemy soldier, he didn't have probably not much more than a year, alive by the will to live… well it was uncertain.

Levi felt deep down that if he continued at the pace he was taking he was going to die. the cause? It wasn't his problem, he would be dead before he realized that the last strength of his body was fading, the consequences? it was a totally different story. He hated to be aware of it, but he knew the responsibility he carried on his shoulders, he knew that at a certain point he was essential, he was one of the sharpest knives in Paradis, . If he died so suddenly, everyone would be just as bewildered as he had been many years before when Kenny left him to fend for himself. He didn't like to think about it.

Besides, you were never going to forgive him and that was more than a big problem for his moral conscience.

Two years had passed since, due to your health, you left the army without looking back, trying to bury next to the bodies of your comrades all the memories that you had left of the survey corp. You made a decision that privately Levi envied because stopping cutting was not a luxury that he could afford being the knife of the nation, A decision for which Levi resented you as much as he understood you. You never talked about why you did it, although both he and Hange suspected that Erwin's death had affected you a little more than you openly expressed. You couldn't look Armin in the eye even years later, that was enough evidence they needed to confirm it.

Levi understood it more than anyone, because with each passing day the remorse he had for himself increased every time he thought he had made a mistake in choosing the idealistic young man over the experienced commander, his friend, your fiancé.

till the present day he still cannot close his eyes and not see you completely defeated, begging him to please save the man who was so close to fulfilling his dream. Little did you know of the last conversation that the most important men in your life had, little did you know that Levi had killed Erwin before the man stopped breathing, it wasn't as if he was going to confess it anyways, paradoxically he couldn't find the strength to face you.

Life had been so unfair, so cruel and merciless. From time to time Levi thinks about what would have happened if both of you had settled for the city underground, if you had not been ambitious to see the starry sky, little did he know that the price of a such clear sky was the blood of your friends,

Maybe Levi should have insisted on staying down there. That way now he wouldn't have to suffer for not being able to get the guilt off his chest, if he had insisted maybe now you'd be happily married, running the illegal business or being a bounty hunters. Perhaps, if only he had insisted a little more, Farlan and Isabel would still be alive.

maybe he could sleep.

Maybe he would have the one he needs most by his side.

.

.

.

.

.

I have the feeling that I am wrong in some tenses. anyways I hope you liked it :D

[cosmicjoke]

hi!! i was curious to hear your opinion on this: you've mentioned in the past about kenny's speech about everyone being a slave to something and we can see this evidently in multiple characters such as eren, kenny, erwin, etc. i was wondering what are your thoughts on this matter for armin? thank u and i hope you're doing well :)))

Hi there, and thank you for the ask! I hope you're doing well also!

Armin's a really interesting character, and I've gone into this before, because he really distinguishes himself from Eren and Erwin, in particular, precisely because he ISN'T a slave to his dream. I've gone into this particular subject a lot in regards to why Levi chose to give Armin the serum over Erwin. Armin was able to let go of his dream of seeing the ocean. He was willing to die and he came to that decision on his own during the battle to retake Maria. Whereas Erwin needed Levi to make the decision for him, Armin simply lets his dream go willingly. A big theme in AoT, of course, is how our inability to let go of our dreams can end up corrupting us, or ruining us in some way. Eren of course is the best example of this, taken to the greatest extreme. Zeke's a good example too, and also Reiner. These are people who couldn't let go of their own, personal dream, and ended up doing horrific things in the process. Eren and Reiner ended up feeling immense guilt and regret about it, too, and it drove Reiner toward a near suicide-attempt. I think a big part of why Levi chose to give Armin the serum is because he saw and understood that he hadn't been corrupted by his dream. That he was willing and able to let his dream go, whereas Erwin, and so many others, weren't. Armin's dream didn't define him, or even drive him. He wasn't trying to prove anything, or gain anything. It was a purely innocent dream. Wanting to see the ocean just for the sake of it.

Levi talks about choosing Armin because he saw the same look in his eyes as "all of you", meaning his comrades when they were just starting out in their dream of freeing the people behind the walls from the menace of the titans. Armin reminded him of a time when his comrades dream hadn't yet destroyed them, hadn't driven them toward cynicism or cold-heartedness, or selfish actions, etc... I think Levi saw the hope of humanity in Armin in that moment. He understood that in order for humanity to have any kind of chance, it needed people like Armin who weren't chained down by obsession or blinded by selfish desire or self-interest.

It's an interesting parallel between Levi and Armin too. I see a lot of similarities between them, and here there's a similarity, but it stems from two different things. Armin has a personal dream and he's able to sacrifice it for the greater good, which is a selfless act, while Levi is just plainly selfless in the fact that he never had a personal dream to begin with, that he wasn't fighting for himself or a personal dream, but instead for the dreams and lives of others.

It makes sense to me that the one person who doesn't want anything for himself, that in a way really lives for other people, would also understand that the selflessness of Armin being able to let go of his dream was the hope that humanity needed in order to have a future worth fighting for at all.

[cowboyshit]

If I remember correctly, I think Evil Uno said something along the lines of Adam still not being happy even when he was champion. What are your thoughts on that?

oh, you don't even KNOW how excited I am about this ask. I'm going to have to tuck my answer under a readmore. this was honestly a change in hangman's character that I LOVED and always wished could have been more fully played out.

firstly, yes! evil uno told adam specifically: [The Dark Order was] there for your big moment when you won the championship, but you weren't happy. You never seemed happy. I don't know if you thought this was going to be your big moment and it wasn't enough. I hope you find what does makes you happy, but I don't think that championship was it.

I felt like this was a subtle piece of story that most people did NOT pick up on until it was a little too late, because adam lost the belt and couldn't continue telling whatever character arc he'd been working on - which I will ALWAYS BE UPSET ABOUT. some of his best work is in the subtlety of his long-term storytelling and in the brief time he had the belt we saw him go from happy to have it, to feeling the pressure of carrying the belt and the matches he was having to go through, to these brief moments where he would act like the weight of it felt burdensome. there's even a shot (one of my favorites) where he's walking down the ramp with it on his shoulder and he looks over at it and seems upset that it's there.

which is so FASCINATING for a character who chased after it for years with such a hunger, it oftentimes blew up years-long friendships. for a character who proclaimed at the very start of the company that they WOULD be the champion, to finally hold it, and not actually feel satisfied? TRAGIC! the story wasn't the chase for the belt, the story was that he needed to believe IN HIMSELF. he thought once he was holding it and he was champion all of those insecurities that had berated him for years would magically disappear, but they didn't. In fact, the insecurities stuck on even stronger, because now he had to prove that he was capable of holding it, capable of representing this company. the spotlight was front and center on him.

also, shortly after he became champion, adam added one of my favorite songs to his playlist: heavy crown by trixie matel

Heavy head and a heavy crown Had a few since you came to town Where are you gonna keep them still? Winning's losing with a couple strings It's a choosing between two things It's a two-piece suit or all the frills Did you ever think that if you got everything All the records, they don't play the same?

take into account that it was kenny he won the belt from? that added on so much more pressure!!! I honestly was fascinated by the turn of his mood toward the belt and the way he was beginning to lash out again because of it. it was such an intriguing turn of events, versus "he won the belt and now he lived happily ever after"

there was so many avenues of storytelling that I could see adam building up when he held the title, and I will always find myself a little curious to know how that story might've kept playing out. even if he (when he) gets the title again, it won't be this story again, since his character arc has grown in too far of a direction.

although I am curious what that story will be - a lot of people don't pay close enough attention to understand the stories adam is trying to tell. I think he's sorely overlooked as a storyteller in this business and I wish I could scream from the rooftops how much of a mastermind he is.

[jewbeloved]

can you write about Main 4+ Butter with a Rich s/o

Main 4 + Butters with a Rich! s/o💵💵💰💓💓

Warnings: None

Gender: Neutral

🫐 Stan Marsh 💙

Let's imagine that you were a really popular student in the school.

Everyone is fonding over you and always wanting your autograph.

You were also indeed very rich, you also just sometimes feel like these people just only like you for your looks and money.

But you knew you already had the looks for a certain boy you took interest, Stan Marsh.

Stan is most definitely in utterly disbelief that you would choose him out of everybody in this school.

He didn't really care about how somebody looks or If they're rich or not. He mostly goes for their personality.

You explained to him that you choose him because he didn't take interest in your looks or your money and you were glad about that.

But people would stare straight at you both if you are walking the hallways to class.

Some even gave him death glares.

You gave those people a death glare back If they ever stared at Stan.

It's their lost.💙💙💙💙💙

💚 Kyle Broflovski ☘️

Omigod

When you saw Kyle, you just saw this as a win-win.

Even thought people are always following you where ever you go, you always kept your eyes on Kyle and nobody else.

You tend to make him fluster all the time and sometimes spoil him a little.

He does appreciate it, but he declines your gifts because you didn't need to spend all of that money to get him that, you could say all he want is your affection towards him <3.

Your house is a literally luxury mansion, that Kyle almost mistaken you for living in a castle-

He is amazed by how unique your house is thought!

Same with Stan, people do get jealous when they see you holding hands with Kyle.

Sometimes he even ends up receiving letters in his locker threatening to beat him up.

He shrugged it off because it was probably written by somebody who has no bitches or is a desperate loser.

If the person does try to hurt Kyle, you immediately blocked the person's way with a angry look on your face.

The person then ran away and you embraced Kyle into your arms while placing a kiss on his lips.

He felt so loved that you were doing all of this for him.

You love him for the way he is, and he loves you the same. The moments between you never ends💚💚💚💚

❤️ Eric Cartman 🍒

His mom spoils him all the damn time, so you spoiling him is like playing with matches ;-;

He likes that you spoil him, but he also still doesn't give a shit about how rich you are. He still sometimes make fun of you just like everyone else but he doesn't be too mean about it.

Cuddles with him is still always the best! But he prefers to cuddle on the couch then in bed because your bed is literally huge and he gets sunk into it like he's in quicksand-

He hates to admit it, but he likes it whenever you are the big spoon when cuddling. He likes the feelings of your arms around him holding him close to you like you never want to let him go.

Cartman is an evil asshole, but he still has feelings you know?❤️❤️❤️❤️

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🍊

You felt bad when you found out that Kenny was the poorest kid in south park and you were the richest (including Token).

Every night, you sneak out of your house with a basket full of food and drinks and left it at the Mccormick's doorstep.

You knocked on the door and ran away back to your house.

Karen was the one to open the door, she found a basket with a little note attached to it on the doorstep.

Kenny came out behind her and saw what she was looking at.

They both looked at each other for a sec before picking up the basket together and took it inside.

The note on the basket was written: "Hey, it really does make me sad when I see that you guys are poor and have no food to eat so I asked my mom to prepare a meal for you guys and put it in the basket to take to your doorstep for you". - signed by Y/n.

Kenny was surprised and his face lit up in flusterness until he saw that you written more on the back of the note.

"Oh and by the way, that confession letter you putted in my locker. I accept! I would love to be your girlfriend/boyfriend <3".

Kenny immediately fainted onto the floor with a big smile on his face, even if its covered by his parka.🧡🧡🧡🧡

💛 Butters Scotch 🧈

Please, you spoiled this boy to the maximum!

Same like Kyle, Butters also declined your gifts as well, he didn't want you to spend a whole a lot of money to get him a sample gift you know?

But also at the same time, he loves the affection you give him!

It makes him feel all happy inside <3

Butters grandma doesn't like you both being together so she demands you both to break up.

Butters didn't know what to do and feared that his grandma will beat him up again if he doesn't break up with you, but at the same time he loves you too much to even want to break up.

Let's just say that you had a real talk with his grandma and his parents for quite a couple of hours.

After you were finished Butters grandma had a worried look on her face.

"Woah, y/n..what did you do to my grandma and parents?", "Don't worry about that Butters we just only had a little talk that's all".

At the end of the day, Butters is really glad to have you by his side. He was really wishing that he had this kind of affection with his family, but since it's with you he doesn't mind it.💛💛💛💛

Request completed✅✅✅✅

[omegawhiskers]

DYNAMITE 1/11/23

DAMMIT, MAX!

Firstly, we need to address something here, and its Matt Taven’s wonderful giraffe hoodie. Maybe down the line, Taven, can use a kick, and call it the giraffe kick. Then we can get a Giraffe kick vs. Kangaroo kick match. These aren’t just beautiful fingers typing these words you know.

The big question of the night was, who will MJF choose as his tag team partners?

We had a surprise appearance from Adam Cole via virtual call. He thinks Max should pick Samoa Joe as his partner, but Max is fond of this idea. The Man in the Devil Mask would interrupt the broadcast as his presence was looming over the show. Since the attack on Jay White, has this masked individual done anything else besides pop up on our screens? He needs to do something a lot more threatening.

Orange Cassidy defended his International Title against Claudio Castagnoli in a great opening match. Claudio showed off his impressive strength throughout. At one point he put Orange into a chokehold and swung him around. Orange won with a beautiful hurricanrana. The celebration was short lived as Jon Moxley returned to give Cassidy a beating. This sets up Orange Cassidy vs. Jon Moxley at Full Gear, and it also looks like a feud between with Wheeler Yuta and Hook is starting.

The ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Championship’s were on the line as The Young Bucks/Adam Page defended against The Mogul Embassy. I really didn���t care for this match. I’ve said it before, the ROH titles should stay on Ring of Honor. I mean, I can’t even tell you who the other wrestlers were outside of Brian Cage. To my surprise, my prayers were answered. The belts are off the Bucks and Page, and the belts can return to the show where belong on. Page chased after Swerve Strickland as the two will meet at Full Gear. Matt was very upset after the loss and took it out on inanimate object's. Later on, The Bucks would take out their frustrations on Kenny Omega as they were not afraid to remind Omega of Jericho's past. Kenny as some work to do to get his friends and Jericho on the same page.

Daddy Magic/Cool Ange fought Jericho/Omega later on. Callis was on commentary with his family beh-WAIT, is that Kyle Flecher? Did I miss something? I thought Don kicked him out of the faction. Anyway, this match was short, so we could get to the meat of the story. In two weeks, it will be Kyle/Hobbs/Takeshita, taking on Jericho/Omega and…Paul Wright, in a Street Fight. I joked that it would be Wright last week, but I think he will work well in a Street Fight. I know some people will take issue with him being used, but I like when Paul is used like a beast.

Adam Copeland finally speared Christian Cage, after his former friend promised to snap his neck and leave him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I still think Adam will come out of Full Gear as a heel, even though I didn’t expect him to lay his hands on Christian tonight.

Tony Khan makes rare appearance on TV to make another big announcement. It feels like these announcements are a bit excessive at this point. The reveal here is that AEW will be returning to the UK at Wembley Stadium next year. I didn’t get a chance this year to go , so I might just buy a ticket come December 1st.

Hikaru Shida defended her title in very good bout against Willow Nightingale. As I wrote previously, Shida had poor matches last week, and I’m glad to see her back on form. Julia Hart appeared post match to lure Willow, but Skye Blue came out and turned full heel, but it's a trick! She is actually a babyface. She misted Julia with the blue mist. Unfortunately she missed her face and her neck.

After some backstage segments, it's revealed that The Acclaimed will be MJF's partners against The Golden Elite. MJF wore Acclaimed inspired gear decked out with a pink burberry scarf. The match was about MJF getting his hands on White and getting his belt back, while Max Caster wanted to scissor MJF. I thought at this point, MJF would get his belt back, but lost when he was pinned by White. Post match, Caster took a title shot to the head from White as he pushed MJF out of the way. This led to a reluctant Maxwell scissoring The Acclaimed.

The show set up a few matches for Full Gear. Outside of that, you got the payoff with MJF teaming with The Acclaimed. I was expecting a bit more from this show, but I'll see where some of the stories end up before diving into any real major criticism.

[banannabethchase]

New Traditions - also on AO3

~

Adam is hiding a gift from Nick on Christmas Eve, and Nick is too impatient to wait until family gets there on Christmas Day.

~

For December prompt challenge day 25: Christmas morning, but also for my own self indulgence because I will never let go of the Set the World Alight universe. The first part of this fic is the day 24 fill, but adapted to fit what I wanted. Again. Purely self indulgent.

~

Adam yawns as Hercules sings about going to distance. “Can we go to sleep now?”

Nick turns to him, looking horrified and also very surprisingly awake. “Sleep? No.”

“Why not?” Adam asks, fighting another yawn. “It’s ten at night and I’m fuckin’ exhausted.” He tries to look as pathetic as possible. “I worked at my parent’s farm for eight hours today and that doesn’t even include the two hours of driving to get there and back. I can sleep, can’t I?”

Nick rolls his eyes. “We have to do the Christmas Eve present. Duh.”

Adam sits up, suddenly very awake. He’s never been with Nick on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning – usually, they hang out on the 26th and bake cookies until they’re sick. Or, at least, that’s what they done before they started living together. He feels some sort of fuzziness build in his chest, knowing that this is what he gets forever. That is, if the biggest gift he’s ever purchased goes the way he hopes. “You guys do that?”

Nick nods. “Of course. That’s why we’re eight hours in to a Disney marathon.”

Adam’s jaw drops. “That’s not true. We’re eight hours in to a Disney marathon because we love the movies.”

Nick kisses his forehead. “Cute. Come on, I’ll grab your gift.”

Adam stands and grabs the first gift with his name on it from under the tree. “Don’t I get to choose my Christmas Eve present?”

“Absolutely not.”

Adam stares up at Nick, but he puts the gift down slowly. “What? Why not?”

“We can’t just open any present,” Nick says. Adam’s even more confused, if he’s honest. “It has to be the pajamas.”

“You open one thing of your choice the night before,” Adam says slowly. “Why’s it gotta be the pajamas?”

“Because,” Nick says, “you put on the pajamas, you sleep in the pajamas, they’re full of Christmas magic or whatever.”

Adam fights a smile. “Christmas magic?”

Nick groans. “I knew you’d make fun of me. But tomorrow Matty is bringing Mox over, and Kenny’s bringing Kota, and then our parents will be here, and we’ve all done the pajamas Christmas Eve into the morning our whole time knowing each other.” He looks beyond sweet as he tries to level sky blue eyes in Adam’s direction. “Please?”

Adam sighs like it’s hard. “I guess,” he says. “But I had an idea.” He shakes his head and pulls out the small wrapped box from in between the branches. He has to keep it on him overnight, for safety. “Thought I could convince you to pick this one.”

Nick blinks over at him. “What the eff is that?”

“You don’t get to know,” Adam says, grabbing the box and keeping it out of Nick’s sight. “Only pajamas tonight!”

~

Adam wakes up the next morning to rustling, and sits up.

Nick has his hands in the pockets of the jeans Adam wore yesterday, bent over in a way that makes the matching pajamas surprisingly flattering on his ass. But that’s not what he should be focusing on at the moment. Adam just knows he has his fingers curled around the box.

“You,” Adam says, stretching, “are a terrible sneak.”

“Am not!” Nick says. He drops the pants, but Adam doesn’t miss the way the small box is still between his fingers.

“Terrible.” Adam stands up and walks to the end of the bed, sitting down on it. “You got a reason for digging through my dirty laundry?”

“Maybe I do,” Nick says, breaking into a grin. “Maybe I’ve got, like, some big boner for your dirty clothes. Maybe seeing your pants on the ground gets me hot and bothered.”

Adam grins. “Oh, that’s all it is? Then you won’t mind if I take this,” he grabs the box out of Nick’s hands, “back.”

Nick reaches out to grab for the box, but Adam wiggles it in his fingers just out of reach. “Uh uh uh,” he singsongs as Nick dives for it.

“Just give me the damned thing!” Nick pleads. “I can’t hang out with my friends and my brother knowing I don’t know what this is!” He dives at the box again, but Adam leans back and ends up pinned to the bed by Nick.

“Hello,” Adam says, curling his fingers tightly around the box. “Oh, no. You’re on top of me in our bed.” He flutters his eyelashes. “Whatever shall I do?”

“You – stop it,” Nick says, and it’s authoritative enough to give Adam shivers down his spine. Four years together and Nick can still give him butterflies. “Tell me what it is.”

“You’ll have to get off of me,” Adam says, but he can already feel his heart racing. “I can’t tell you. I have to show you.” He thinks of Matty, who insisted she had to be there when Adam proposes. He thinks of Mrs. Jackson, who said that, if they’re getting married, she hopes to be the first to hear about it.

And then he thinks of Nick: eager and anxious in front of him, looking somehow stressed on Christmas break. And he knows: that’s his priority.

“Nick,” he says, and his voice sounds weird, “Nick, give me, like, two seconds.”

Nick scrambles off of him and sits crosslegged on the edge of the bed, looking as nervous as Adam feels. “Okay.”

Adam stands, box tightly in his fingers. “Okay – you comfortable?”

“I – yeah?” Nick asks. “Do I have to be?”

Adam shrugs as he walks toward Nick. “I’d like you to be. Makes it a little less stressful.” His heart is racing. His entire body feels lit up, like there’s a live wire taking the place of his spine.

“What are you doing?” Nick asks, eyes following Adam as he drops to a knee.

“You know,” Adam says. He can’t fight his grin. “Nick, we’ve known each other since middle school.” Nick nods at him. “I’m best friends with your sister. We’re best friends. You – your mom’s given me Pepto Bismol when I was throwing up at after your birthday party.” He exhales, trying to get back on track. “What I’m saying, Nick, is we know each other.” He looks up, only to meet Nick’s wet eyes. “You’re part of me, Nick. I don’t want to ever be without a part of me. Not ever again.”

Nick exhales slowly. “Holy crap.”

“Nick,” Adam says, keeping eye contact as he carefully unwraps the ring box. He snaps it open, revealing the relatively modest platinum band with sapphires and small cubic zirconium around its circumference. “Nick. Last year, when you were abroad, was the hardest time I’ve ever had. I don’t ever want to be without you that long again.” He holds up the box, ignoring the ache in his knee. “Nicholas Jackson,” he says, hearing his own heartbeat in his ears, “will you marry me?”

Nick lets out a weird little squeak. “You are so – how did you –” He cuts himself off with another one of those squeaks as he dives at Adam, knocking him to the floor. “Yes!”

“Hi,” Adam laughs. He holds up the ring to Nick. “Yes, you’ll marry me?”

“Yes,” Nick says again. He’s shaking as Adam slides the ring onto his finger. “Oh, you’re – did you talk to Matty?”

“Yes,” Adam says, “and you better prepare to fake surprise later, because she said she had to be there when I propose, but you were impatient.”

“Matty can deal,” Nick says before leaning down and kissing the breath out of Adam’s lungs. Adam’s glad they’re in their dumb little one bedroom apartment, because then everybody else is locked out until they’re ready.

Adam slides the ring onto Nick’s finger, and thinks that death by infuriated Matty would be worth all of this any time.

~

No mini playlist because this entire universe has developed its own playlist.

[swervestrickland]

thoughts on the bucks relationship with hangman vs their relationship with kenny? and/or hangman's relationship with the bucks vs his rleationship with kenny?

sorry for the delay, i had to talk to a friend about this because some of the relationships i'm a bit biased about, and also this got a little long

so when it comes to hangman's relationship with kenny, i honestly believe that it was out of necessity. they both stood to gain something from the relationship - titles, and in this, a sense of self worth (and for kenny, a little something else). in the context of aew, they have always been foils for each other. they've followed roughly the same paths. when they started in aew, they both lost to pac. they both lost to a former wwe star, and they both fell into a pit of depression. the difference between hangman and kenny at this particular point, was the bucks.

the bucks checked up on them both, at the beginning, but they outwardly showed more concern for kenny. i choose to believe it was because kenny was a more melodramatic person when it came to isolating himself, as opposed to hangman who played it off like it was nothing. the bucks, observing the both of them, likely believed kenny was the one more likely to go off the deep end. and it's this mistake that caused hangman to fall further away from them, to feel less than and unseen, and ultimately leave the elite (i do think if he had just communicated his needs a little more confidently that maybe they might have listened though, because later on it's proven that when he stands his ground with them, they do end up listening).

hangman's relationship with the bucks, and in particular matt, is a stronger bond than the one he has with kenny because matt's opinion of him matters so much. he sees kenny as the prime object of the bucks' affection, which has always caused a rift between himself and kenny. but it's because of how much power he gives matt's opinion. the bucks were the ones who brought him into the fold in ROH, they were the ones who gave him a chance, they were the ones he had tagged with as the hungbucks and won belts.

with kenny, there will always be jealousy. there will always be this sense of 'the love they give you is what i want to take from you'. though he may have witnessed it finally in november, and again the week that matt and nick came to apologise, he's never felt like their (the bucks') love could be shared between the both of them, and it's partly also because kenny is just larger than life. he does command a room (the fuckin. nerdy ass piece of shit), he commands attention in the ring. he's the kind of wrestler people strive to be.

kenny and the bucks though. they were the OGs of the elite. they've always been tight. im not very familiar with the golden lovers era, but i want to say that that was the most confusing time for the three of them because kota commanded kenny's attention. the bucks probably felt like the third wheel. though i think in the end of all that, the bucks ended up accepting kota and accepting their position in kenny's heart.

during his run with hangman, it felt like kenny was trying to re-live something. like he was trying to duplicate something he had felt before (this is the Something Else i mentioned at the beginning). but the problem with that was that in this relationship, he wasn't the one striving to be like his partner. it was the other way around. and i think kenny works best when he feels like the underdog. he strives under the pressure, but perhaps in this relationship it felt like he was the one pulling somebody else up, and he couldn't actually bear that weight.

often in this aew run, kenny has chosen the bucks. i want to say if kota was here, it wouldn't be the case. but right now, as it stands, he has always chosen them. he said as much. and oddly enough, it feels like nearly every moment that they have a chance, they do not do the same. i recently skimmed through BTE from the 2020 year of aew, and i noticed something that happened again in august. when matt (and by extension nick) gets rejected by hangman, they double down on their hatred and they choose kenny. but only after being rejected by hangman. that entire bit where they were slow heel turning, after refusing to when kenny asked it of them, matt got that 'fuck you dont ever talk to me again' text from hangman's phone (sent by matt hardy) and immediately turned into a fucking asshole and broke more shit. when hangman refused their hungbucks reunion this august, matt immediately turned rude to brandon again. matt's emotional journey, like hangman's at the beginning, is affected by someone else's acceptance or rejection.

i want to say something about nick. but i'm not sure what to say. all i can say is that, from the beginning of the aew run, it felt like nick was the closer buck to hangman. when nick got injured, hangman asked about him. nick is the only one in hangman's phone contacts that has a picture WITH hangman also in it. in the match this past All Out, he was the first to wrestle hangman and they fist bumped each other like they were just. Cool. it's an easy going relationship. it's also, i think, why hangman found it so easy to screw him over in particular during that gauntlet match. it's always easy to take advantage of the people closest to you. in the back of his head, maybe he believed it would be easier for nick to forgive him.

i don't know where i'm going with this, i don't have a definitive closing statement to it at all ksdjhfdsjhgj i hope this is kind of what you were asking for, anon??

[ziracona]

I can't believe Kenny never died and actually was taken into the realm by the entity then escaped. So wild of the team to do that crossover right haha. He's totally not dead though, totally.

I know, right??? I love that they really took a risk with that TWDG chapter, because it paid off SO WELL! Like, if you include the outfit skins instead of just the base survivors/full paragraph survivors, they added not one, not two, but TEN dlc survivors? I mean obvs they were right to make the default chapter two be Kenny and Lee, and I am in love with it, but I also really love that with so many dlc skins, I can fan interpret this to mean that hypothetically almost everyone I truly loved in the whole TWDG franchise got a second chance at life. It’s such a gift. :’-] Catch me on the 12 o’clock news snagging Florida Man a boat from the Entity’s ether so he and the world’s best dad can slit its belly open with the propeller and sail back home in time for their girl’s next birthday. 😭 You love you see it.

[dalekofchaos]

Things I would change about Telltale’s The Walking Dead

As much as I love TWDG, there would be things I would change if I could

Season 1

Nothing as the season is perfect

Season 2

Christa lives. Christa is separated from Clem after the attack by the scavengers.

Sam does not turn feral and attack Clem. Sam gets to travel with Clem throughout the series. He is the protector of Clem and later AJ

We do not witness the most incompetent Doctor in the world. Seriously, what kind of a doctor CANNOT tell the difference between a human and dog bite? A walker bite is still a human bite.

Clem and Sam runs into Luke and Pete, no hostility, they save them from walkers. So it's more friendly.

Everyone is wary around Clem but knowing that she's looking for her friend, they decide to let her stay and search for Christa. The plot of episode 1 is finding Christa

Eventually they do find Christa, but Christa is badly injured, she is badly injured. But the problem is they cannot give away medical supplies so easily, so they put both Clem and Christa in the shed. Christa trusts Clem and asks her to find the medical supplies to help her. "it'll be just like how I taught you"

After saving Christa, eventually Clem would kill the walker in the shed.

The rest of episode 1 plays out as the same.

Episode 2 would be different. If we choose to go with Nick, mostly the same. But if we go with Pete, there is a chance for him to live. I really feel like it was wasted potential for Pete to die so quick. So change the setting of the beginning of the episode. Let’s say it’s an area where there’s heat. So Pete would chop off his leg and cauterize the wound. So Pete would be in the group at least until episode 3.

We get to see the reunion of Clem, Christa and Kenny

We would see a bond/friendship between Rebecca and Christa

Kenny asks Christa "what happened to the baby? I noticed you were pregnant the last time we saw each other" Christa will confirm that she had a miscarriage 

Episode 3 play out the same. But with Pete alive, they would build Pete a wooden leg as they want him to be useful. Sadly Pete would die by Carver’s hands. During the scene of Kenny giving the radio back to Carver, after Clem tries to stop, Troy of course hits Clem. Pete has had enough of Troy putting his hands on Clem, so Pete knocks him off his ass and before Carver can do anything, Pete kills Troy and that’s enough reason for Carver to kill Pete. Pete dies trying to save Nick and Clem. He deserved more than to die in the beginning without knowing that either of them would be safe.

The only difference between episode 4 is Nick and Sarah would not be pointlessly wasted. With Nick, Nick rushes over to the meet up spot and goes to look for Clem. So Clem, Nick and Jane would go and save Luke and Sarah. After returning, Nick would be there for Rebecca as best he could.  Nick arguing and putting Luke in his place after he sleeps with Jane, giving the guy a serious reality check. Trying to be there for Rebecca after she gives birth, noticing how ill and emotionally drained she is, and mourning her after her death. Trying to be there for Rebecca after she gives birth, noticing how ill and emotionally drained she is, and mourning her after her death. Gets sentimental with Luke and Clementine about the good ol’ days with the cabin group during Luke’s Birthday. Nick would be there in the end(more on that later) With Sarah. Clem would inspire her to live for Carlos and for the group. She would be a survivor and be developed throughout the rest of the season, and both Clem and Sarah would take care of each other. It would be revealed that Carlos taught her some medical knowledge. And all the books she read. Despite learning of the horrors of the world, Sarah remains kind, enthusiastic and non-aggressive, well still being able to fight for herself. Proving that good people don’t need to change to survive the apocalypse.

There is no Arvo and no Russians. Instead it’s Eddie who Clem and Jane meet and Eddie leads Tavia, Vince, Wyatt, Russell, Becca, and Shel. I think something that would’ve improved the end of season 2 was replace Arvo and the Russians with Tavia and the 400 Days characters. It makes perfect sense. They destroyed their home and killed their leader and these characters deserved more than cameos. And originally Eddie from 400 days WAS MEANT to take Arvo’s role in episode 4 originally, so replace Arvo with Eddie. So when Tavia and her people corner Clem and the others, Bonnie is trying to make peace with them since they were her friends. But after Rebecca is turned and when either Clem or Kenny shoot her. Bonnie is the first casualty. 

I’d like to think the rest of episode 5 is about the group being hunted by Tavia’s people and trying to save AJ, however Tavia wants the baby as Carver convinced her that the baby is his. Ultimately it ends with Mike, Jane, Vince, Becca, Shel, Wyatt, Eddie, and Russell dead and only Clem, Kenny, AJ, Luke, Nick, Sarah and Tavia left alive. The final choice is about who you save from Tavia. Kenny or Luke? I think something like this would’ve been better than that loathsome little shitbird and the Kenny vs Jane drama.

The endings would be Clem, Nick, Sarah and AJ in Wellington. Clem, AJ, Nick, Sarah and Kenny together. Luke, Nick, Clem, Sarah and AJ returning to the cabin. Or Clem, Nick, Sarah and AJ surviving together.

The New Frontier

Big change is Gabe and Mariana would be separate. Also they would be twins. I was inspired by this fanfic I found. Javi, Kate and Gabe would separate, while David and Mariana would be together. Eventually it’s revealed that Ava has helped keep David and Mari alive. It’s revealed that before she was kicked out of Richmond, Clem and Mari were close friends. Only Kate would be shot. But there would be one big Garcia reunion. Kate is put at ease when she sees Gabe and Mari together.

Continuing on Clem's story for the flashbacks. We would see that no matter what choice you made, Sarah and Nick would survive and return. I can see Sarah showing off her medic skills to save lives and impressing Lingard and becomes an asset while in their stay to The New Frontier. As for Nick, due to losing Luke his drive would be to keeping Clem and AJ safe, so eventually he would be a loyal asset to David. The New Frontier would refuse to let either of them go with Clem. Nick grew to be a skilled fighter and David would not let him go. Sarah’s medical skills are very much needed. Both of them feel like they are needed and they say goodbye to Clem.

The only change to the main story is after either killing or sparring Joan, we would keep in the cut content of what happens to whomever lived. If Joan is to survive in "Thicker Than Water", she would appear, and the player would decide her fate: Execute her, exile her from Richmond, or let her stay. If Clint survived the previous episode, he would come to suggest about keeping the stolen supplies from the raided communities. If he is dead, Eleanor will suggest about not keeping them instead.

Keep in the deleted sequence of  Clementine’s flashback to the day everything started, apparently we were going to see how her babysitter Sandra became a Walker

Regarding who Clem gets to romance. It would be between Gabe and Mari. As Javi we would notice that Gabe and later Mari are both crushing on Clem and you can direct a romance with Clem and either sibling. You can convince one to remain friends, while telling the other to pursue those feelings. And when we are in the truck, that specific sibling will make their move and Clem will either share a kiss with Gabe or Mari(this is why I Gabe and Mari twins)

Nick would hep Javi and Gabe out during the looking for weapons bit. It would be revealed that Joan had him killed during the public spectacle later

Clem would get to say goodbye to Sarah. She forgives her for staying with The New Frontier and understands that she is needed. Sarah  wishes Clem luck in finding AJ and tells her to keep him safe

The Final Season

First of all. Clem would tell AJ about not just Lee, but also Kenny, Luke, Alvin and Rebecca. AJ would know about everyone who kept him safe. Clem would even tell AJ about Javi, Kate, Gabe, Mari and David.

AJ would be wearing Kenny’s hat.

If we choose to pursue Louis in every choice we get, Louis basically gets a confidence boost and learns to leave the jokes behind and takes up a leadership role alongside Violet. 

Pursuing Violet remains the same, but she stays loyal to Clem even if we choose to save Louis(more on that later)

In episode 1 when they are playing war, when Louis asked if Clem had a boyfriend, Clem will reveal she either had a boyfriend or girlfriend in Gabe or Mari. 

One of the choices for Clem to ask during War is Clem gets to ask what happened with that burned building. That will also answer how Tenn got his scar. I guess during the outbreak something happened that caused the fire and Tenn was left inside. The twins saved him.

Instead of having “a bad experiences with dogs” Clem will say she used to have a dog, “his name was Sam, he protected me and AJ, he was a good boy”

In episode 2 when Lilly and the Raiders attack. Lilly will yell “Minnie and Sophie wanted to come”

Sophie will be alive. After Clem subdues Minnie, Sophie will aim her gun and warn Clem. After the revelation that it’s Minnie and Sophie, Clem lets Minnie go. Sophie is heartbroken to hear about Brody. “I loved her and that fucking bastard killed her” after the revelation that Marlon killed Brody and Lilly killed Mitch, Sophie will start questioning if what they are doing is right anymore

Sophie will look something like this it is from TFS concept art for Minnie, but boy would this work for Sophie

Clem would seek help from old friends in Wellington. So Javi, Kate, Gabe, and Mari would return to help Clem, AJ and either Violet/Louis to save their friends. Depending on who we had Clem romanced in TNF, you can either stay with either partner or break up with them,  either partner will accept that Clem moved on and are glad they are happy and focus on getting Clem’s friends back. Gabe and Mari are friends with either Louis/Violet. But if you choose to stay with either Gabe or Mari, Gabe/Mari will move into the school and stay with Clem and AJ

We would also find out why Marlon and Brody got sent to the school. Marlon. Brody was sent to the school because she liked to joyride. Marlon, it could be shoplifting, but something tells me he liked to hurt small animals before he got sent to Ericson’s

Since Violet ALWAYS had Clem’s back and stood behind her, Violet would not give in as I just could never see it. Instead of Violet immediately complying to Lilly, Violet fights back and never gives in. This results in Violet losing an eye. She never gave up hope in Clem like Louis. It would look something Something like this. Art by spacedlexi

When Lilly tells the story of glorifying her abusive racist father, Clem will get the opportunity to say “I’m glad Lee let Kenny kill Larry, he was an asshole to Lee from the start and he wanted to throw Duck to the walkers” This strikes a nerve with Lilly. “God, this is what it’s about isn’t it? You are still not over it are you? All this hard bitch is just for show isn't it? After all this time, you are still the same scared little girl crying for daddy's help. Well get the fuck over it, Lee had enough of your bullshit and I have too. Go to hell Lily, tell Larry I said fuck you!" This would result in Lilly hitting Clem

Clem does not lose her hat

Depending on who we romanced either Violet/Louis will return as usual, but with Sophie. She will apologize to Clem for ever siding and beveling in Lilly. Clem will say that doesn't matter anymore, the important thing is she made the right choice and that she can see Tenn. 

When Sophie sees Tenn, Sophie embraces Tenn in a hug. When he asks her about Minnie, Sophie says she is far too gone to ever return. And ultimately, Sophie saves Clem from Minnie and with Sophie being alive, Tenn instead will put Minnie out of her misery. Sophie and Tenn return home as a family.

We get to see AJ teaching Tenn and both of them hugging in the end.

Depending on how we left things off with James, James will either be nowhere to be seen or James will be at the school. 

Richmond’s people helped rebuild the school

Clem, AJ, Violet, Louis, Tenn, James, Sophie, Aasim, Omar, Ruby, and Willy are the survivors of the school.

If you romanced Violet and Louis still has his tongue, it’s hinted that Louis is pursuing James, Louis holds his hand and James smiles.

In the end of the last episode, we get one final kiss between Clem and Violet or Clem and Louis.

Ends the same way with Clem looking at peace.

[tamhrayis]

I’ve seen a take that claims Mikasa is not important or needed in the story as she (apparently) doesn’t affect or push the story forward. What do you think?

That’s an interesting question, actually. I would like to read that take! Could you please send me it via inbox? :)

Okay, before starting I want to answer this question. Is AoT a plot based story or character driven?

Plot based stories often have an apparent antagonist or the character has to go from point A to point B, while character driven ones mainly function because of characters motivations, inner transformations and relationship between characters. Sounds familiar? Yes, AoT is a heavily character driven story that explores an abstract concept like freedom.

The main questions of the story are “How people can achieve freedom in a world with the repeating cycle of hatred? What is freedom itself? Is it a power? Is it love or full independency? What’s life itself? Are people born free or they become free? Is death meaningless? How does it feel like to be a soldier? Should we recklessly sacrifice ourselves and others?”.

All these questions are explored by individual characters and Mikasa has one the main roles in exploring the concept of freedom.

First of all, what is Mikasa’s characteristic that Isayama himself used in her character? Pride. Mikasa helps us to understand what is pride.

What’s pride itself?

Pride is, above all, the feeling of self-respect and self-worth. It’s about knowing that your life and you are important and valuable.

Mikasa knows that she is a soldier who worths 100 normal soldiers. She knows that loosing her will cost them a lot of looses. Mikasa knows her worth and she values her life.

Why does Mikasa always continue to fight? Because she has pride. If she dies, memory of her loved ones will be buried with her. Mikasa doesn’t only value her own life, but others’ as well. That’s why she always tries to save others. Yes, she won’t hesitate to kill or threaten someone who tries to take others’ freedom (life). But she will never let people she loves to die as her parents. She uses her pride and power to let others live.

Now, let’s look at the moment when she encouraged someone to live and fight.

She encouraged Eren to fight. If Mikasa wasn’t there in ch.50, Eren wouldn’t attempt to punch Dina and active the coordinate. The ch.50 itself was a turning point of the story and later the plot started to revolve a lot around Eren‘s Founder. Mikasa’s words became a big push in the development of the story and they strongly affected the whole narrative. Mikasa’s presence was important.

How does pride help us understand the concept of freedom?

Pride is being able to not be ashamed of your life and yourself. It’a about embracing your identity, doing what you want for yourself and accepting yourself as you are. When you actually accept and free yourself from the boundaries that keep you, you are finally free. You finally achieve freedom.

Another concept that Mikasa portrays is love. The love that goes beyond all boundaries, conditions and dimensions. The love that’s unconditional and free. The love that motivates you to live.

Love for Mikasa is a motivation. She fights for people she loves and it’s another part of her pride. She knows the worth of her people, because she simply loves them. She wants to remember them, because she loves them.

Mikasa’s fear is loosing people she loves, because in the past she couldn’t fight for her parents. But her fear pushes her to fight and win. Mikasa shows people that you can stay independent and free, while being in Iove with someone.

Mikasa saved many people out of her free will, she knows that they are precious to someone. Even if they can’t fight, Mikasa will do it for them. She doesn’t want others to lose their loved ones as she did.

She saved Historia from a titan that tried to attack her. If Historia died on that day, we wouldn’t find out about Reiss/Fritz family, more about monarchy on island and have Eren’s further development.

Moving to more recent instances where Mikasa’s love was important are ch.123 and ch.138.

Eren, who was conflicted about the rumbling plan, wanted to find a reason to not do it. He wanted someone who will change his mind and that someone was Mikasa.

Mikasa’s feelings for Eren could change the outcome. She could affect Eren’s actions and, again, the plot would be much much different.

Lastly, her choice to disagree with Eren’s idea of forgetting him and continue to fight, made Ymir smile. Her love and pride impacted Ymir Fritz herself, a person who was trapped in Paths for 2000 years and tried to find an answer for “What’s love?”.

How love can connected to freedom?

When you love someone and don’t tie your love to some conditions, limitations and boundaries, you give the person the right to choose and act as they desire to. Having the right to choose itself is freedom. Loving someone doesn’t make you less independent.

Besides being the symbol of pride and love, Mikasa helps us understand and enrich the world wilding within AoT universe.

As we remember, Mikasa’s mother was a descendant of Hizuru’s shogun, who moved his people to Paradis. However, as time passed by Asians were hunted down and Mikasa’s mother had to live in mountains, where she met an Ackerman and had Mikasa.

Hizuru had an important role in the last arc as Kiyomi proposed rumbling as a way to secure the island for 50 years. Yes, Mikasa was used as a reason to come to the island, but, nevertheless, her bloodline was important to make Eren come up with his current plan.

And, of course, we can’t forget about the Ackermans. The whole existence of Levi, Mikasa and Kenny explores the concept of Ymir and this whole titan things as Ackerman are a byproduct of titan science, who are immune to memory manipulation and possess a great amount of physical strength.

But besides their relation to titan science, Ackermans also contribute to freedom, because they are the freest people on the island and their bloodline is free from Ymir as they can’t be turned into titans or manipulated by Founder’s powers.

Without Ackermans we would never know about the struggles of previous Founders (Kenny and Uri), the concept of meaningful death and having no regrets (Levi and Erwin), and unconditionally loving someone and yet opposing that person (Mikasa and Eren).

How does Mikasa push the story forward?

My answer is...Mikasa’s relationship with Eren is the biggest force that pushes the story. Again, AoT is a character driven story, where the relationship between characters matters.

Every time, when these two have a heart-to-heart moment, it’s always the turning point of the story (ch.50, ch.123 and ch.138).

The reason why Eren tried to get stronger and learn to control his power is to give his friends and loved ones a peaceful and happy life with no hate or threat. As Kruger and Grisha said:

“If you want to save Mikasa, Armin and others, carry out this mission to the end and learn to control this power”.

Even when he publicly turned himself into a titan, it was to protect Mikasa and Armin from cannon fire.

All what Eren does is for his loved ones and Mikasa is definitely one of those people.

Saying that Mikasa is irrelevant, unnecessary or doesn’t push the story is debatable, because her characters carries a lot of thematic and symbolic meaning. Her relationship with other people and presence are important and helps to unleash more plot points.

Isayama didn’t make her the centerpiece of the story and his literal trademark just to be considered useless.

[issaxcharlie]

Owen hosts Couple tag

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Artist Fem Reader

Summary: We play pretend world guys✨ (I missed them, I’m SoRryyyy.) So, Charlie wants some reassurance after starting to prepare his proposal to Y/N and makes this “genius” plan with Owen to find her answers without being suspicious. (She totally knows tho) also a lot of friendship fighting between Owen and Y/N because I had to, I made myself laugh a lot so I’ll hope at least makes you smile🤧🤣Anyways, have fun!

This is also my weird and nonsense way of doing sweet @marvel-ousnesss request of the we play pretend couple to do a couple buzzfeed quiz 💖

The blonde takes a deep breath before picking up his phone and heading to the living room, where his couple of friends and roommates are on the couch. Charlie is lying down watching television and Y/N is lying on top of him with her face snuggled into his neck, he hugging her around the waist while gently running his fingers down her skin.

The plan was simple, to help Charlie plan the perfect proposal and give him an idea of what she expects from her wedding, they were doing a “Couple tag” video. That way the questions wouldn’t be as suspicious. Of course, there are easier ways but we are talking about Charlie. They convinced Kenny to call her and tell her that it was to promote the second season that is currently being filmed, and she agreed.

Charlie mentioned many times that someone else had to ask her the questions because she reads her boyfriend like an open book, so his improvisation had to be perfect to keep his best friend’s clever girlfriend out of the hook.

He decided to start the live from his room so as not to give the singer the opportunity to think much about it, so he sits in the living room and focuses the image on his friends who are not affected in the least by their positions. After all, everyone already knows that they are a couple and that they live together.

“Hello, I’m Y/N Y/L! And yes, that sexy, beautiful, adorable and talented man is my boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie.” He blushes as the memory of their first night back as a couple invades the mind of the Canadian, who had his girlfriend in exactly this position when she was, as she said, 'practicing' her introduction. Sadly, this time it will not end like that night because his best friend and about 500,000 people are watching.

“Welcome to my first edition of the Couple tag everyone! Here's my first guest couple, I know it’s not much, but I promise to find someone worthwhile next time, this is just for practice." Charlie laughs but looks nervous. Instead, his girlfriend sits down and rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe you chose him over a puppy or a hamster." The girl says to her boyfriend while laughing at her friend's offended reaction.

“I'm going to write that down in my long enemies list, but for now I have a live to lead. Okay guys, so basically I will ask them questions and I will also choose who answers them because I’m the only one hot enough to call the shots here."

She laughs and sticks out her tongue. Charlie sits down too and she takes his hand to fiddle with it. She keeps arguing for a few minutes with Owen but shows no signs of not wanting to play the game so he starts before she regrets it.

“Okay, first one is for Charlie. How did you guys met? This is actually a good one because a lot of the fans think you met on set and are like this really intense couple who started to date the very first week without even knowing each other’s last names.”

They both start laughing at the comment. The truth is that they have seen multiple posts and comments online from people judging their relationship and how fast they were going, especially when they did that last interview together and Y/N said that Charlie was taking his sweet time to ask for marriage, since for the fans they only have one year and months of knowing each other.

“We have known each other since forever. Our moms were best friends and we were born only a few weeks apart so we've always been together. We grew up as best friends and were dating before Y/N moved to New York to play Daniela on Stardust." Charlie tries to shake off the memory of the last tearful kiss before Y/N got on the plane. Hopefully he’ll never have to part from her for so long again. Sometimes he can't even understand how he managed to get through those 5 years.

"So no, we don't know each other for just one year, but 22." She adds, kissing his nose.

"Y/N, honey. I didn't ask you, don't be rude and wait for your turn." Owen says teasingly, the girl laughs and throws a pillow at him.

“Okay, rude again. Y/N, What is the first thing that he ever gave you?”

“Oh my, this beautiful valentines card! We were like eight I think. The paper is red, and it is filled with gold and silver glitter stars. Inside is a big star that has written in the middle, “My bright star, happy valentine’s day. I love you. And a lot of doodles of my favorite things, like my guitar, a microphone, chocolate, and a little Charlie. Just adorable, I still have it and to date it is one of my favorite gifts.”

The emotion with which she responds makes Charlie's heart melt. That was the first time he called her bright star, and he kept saying it to her during every audition, every performance, every practice. The exact reason not even she knows, but maybe one of these days he'll tell her.

“Rude and a liar. The 22-year-old Charlie's handwriting is horrible, the 8-year-old Charlie handwriting could only be close to a squiggle, nothing more. Oh, and probably only you had the ability to read it. I very much doubt that was beautiful."

She opens her mouth in surprise and wrinkles her nose, feigning annoyance. “I liked you more when you had a crush on me. You were nicer.”

Owen's eyes widen and he turns to see Charlie looking for help but he just starts laughing. “Wh- What are you talking about, mean girl?”

“Oh c’mon, you totally did, Ohio.” She smiles at the camara while showing a superiority face.

“Really? I already told you a thousand times, I'm from Oklahoma. But hey, how funny, forget about Stardust and audition for Funny Girl!”

“Jokes on you, I would nail Fanny Brice.”

“Man, defend my honor!”

“Bro, I can’t. You totally did, I even got worried for a second there.” It is incredible to think about how their friendship has grown and matured over time. They went from Owen fangirling every time he saw her to being really good friends. All these fights are more of a show than anything else, the truth is that when nobody is recording they tend to be very cool around each other and the three of them have quite a pleasant dynamic now that they are living together for the show.

“I won, Idaho. Now, please continue.”

“Well, my friends embarrassed me on my own live. I can already imagine the headlines tomorrow. Anyways, Charlie, Would you let yourself in danger to save her?”

Charlie starts laughing as he drops his head on the girl's shoulder. "I think she's not going to let me lie, I always have and will continue to do so. For me it's always her safety first."

"Which has given me more than a scare but he's so freakin stubborn." She adds while looking stressed and Owen can't help but imagine all the situations Charlie must have put himself in before.

“I prefer you scared than in danger, beautiful.” He grins and kiss her lips, her facial expresions relaxing at his touch.

“Gross. Y/N, do you prefer a small wedding or a big wedding?” She can feel Charlie tense at the question, so she leans her body back to support it against him and give him a lowkey reassurance.

“I hadn't really thought about it, but I know that my almost mother-in-law has been planning it all her life so you should check with her.”

His mom. Y/N is right, as always. His mom is their biggest shipper and the wedding is probably something she’ll want to be an importart part of, maybe way more than with his brothers since she adores the girl as much as her own kids, and the fact that his girlfriend is even more aware of that fact than him makes him smile.

“Do you love it when someone refers you as ‘her boyfriend’?”

“Always. Especially if it's her. She has that little knack of saying it whenever she can and it’s the most adorable thing in the world.”

“Oh I thought she was just showing it off to me because she was intimidated by our chemistry. I don't feel so special anymore.” Charlie chuckles and sends a secret air kiss to his friend, who just smirks and fakes to blush.

“How would you handle it if you thought another man was hitting on her?” Owen asks the guitarist raising an eyebrow.

“She usually takes care of that situations, her method is to take me by the shirt and kiss me hard on the lips. I’m never going to complain about that.” Charlie says smirking and blushing.

“We are a celebrity couple, for better or for worse. I’m not having him in a fight when I can just kiss that beautiful lips and solve the problem.” Charlie smiles as he wraps his girlfriend in his arms, so she can't see his face with the next question.

“What do you dream of your marriage? Mmm, let’s go with Y/N.”

“Anything will be perfect if I spend it with the man of my life. My Char is my everything and my biggest dream is to live my whole life laughing by his side.” Owen pretends to vomit as Charlie fills her with kisses under the ear, clearly moved by her answer.

“Let’s get to someting less cheesy because I really can’t with you both anymore. Has anyone ever tried to break your relationship?”

Charlie rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment. “Yes. We were like seventeen, and this guy from hockey had this big crush on her, so he tried to flirt with her many times even though everyone knew she was my girlfriend, until one day that he made her too uncomfortable and things escalated between him and me. Luckily my brothers intervened before something else happened because he was much bigger than me. I would have totally lost.” He chuckles while his girlfriend turns to see his face and gives him another sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Yes guys, they are this annoying all the time. How do I survive? A lot of yoga. Next question, If three guys are standing, and you have been blindfolded, then how would you recognize him? Guys we actually did this like three days ago on set.”

“It was awesome! We put my bandana on her eyes and since it had my smell she couldn't be guided by that to choose.” Charlie explains excited.

“We got the three of us, first Jeremy then Charlie and then me in front of her, then she began to lightly touch Jer's hand. Then she went to Charlie's, it didn't take her a minute to recognize him and she took him from the hair and draw him to her lips, it was actually a pretty smooth and risky move, I’ll give you a point for that, prodigy brat.”

“Char's body inadvertently reacts to mine. It was pretty easy to tell the difference, especially after touching Jeremy's hand.” She turns her head to give Charlie a soft kiss on the lips and then Owen starts laughing like crazy and telling her to come see a specific comment.

She gets up and goes to sit next to him, Owen changes the camera so that now they are the ones in the image and she begins to read aloud. “Charlie I could give you my... Oh my god!” Owen continues laughing, resting his head on his friend who simply watches the screen in shock.

“Thank god Charlie doesn’t know how to read.” Owen, who was just recovering from his giggling fit, laughs again as Charlie giggles and sticks his tongue out at his girlfriend.

"Who needs to read when you look this hot with sleeveless shirts." He jokes while winking at his partner, which seems to melt in front of the camera that is still pointing directly at her.

“The man has a point. Okay, Y/N move your ass back there I’m still in charge of this show. Would you prefer a silver or gold ring?”

She makes sure to move off the screen and sticks her middlefinger at Owen before heading back to her place with her boyfriend. “Good and really random question.” She smirks, not making contact with her boyfriend. “I don't have a preference, but I would love Char to design it. Obviously with the correct guidance, but yeah he choosing every detail and then explaining to me why he choose it would be the dream.”

Charlie smiles. He was already imagining something like this after so many years of gifting and has already been visiting the jewelry store several times to make sure he designed the perfect ring for his girl, a slight feeling of pride filling him.

“Which series does she thinks resembles your relationship?”

“She loves Boy Meets World and see a lot of us in Cory and Topanga. I can totally see it too, after all they too have known each other their whole lives and have a bond as strong as ours.”

“Well that explains why she’s always telling me ‘Life is though, get a helmet’ instead of actually help me.” She grins at the memory of Charlie’s last prank on Owen a couple of days ago, it was really good since she secretly helped him plan it.

“Man, It wasn’t personal. I do the same with Char. I’m not going to be known for being the one ruining prank war. Take it to the end of the road, if you need me to take you idiots out of jail I totally will... eventually.”

“My girl, everyone. Isn’t she awesome?” He watches her adoringly and she blushes in response, buring her head on his neck.

“She always has this enormous energy and personality but all it takes is for you to see her for her to melt, that’s... kind of cute actually. Okay next question Stardust, What about If Charlie tells you to marry him tomorrow?”

For the thousandth time that night Y/N can feel Charlie stressing out. The fact that he planned together with Owen and Kenny all of this just to make sure he was on the same page with her is the most adorable thing in the world.

“I’m pretty sure he knows I would always say yes. He could have gotten on a plane when we were 18 and told me ‘I don't want to be without you, let's get married.’ And I would have said yes. He’s my person, I have nothing to think about, I have always known it’s him."

Now it's Charlie's turn to melt, and Owen himself can't help but smile.

Charlie's confidence in what he has planned is higher than ever, and the day when he can finally make it official is near. He has been dreaming of this day with his Y/N for years and he will finally get it.

“Well guys, that was it, give it up to my favorite couple of dumbasses and please stop asking obvious questions. Will I be Y/N’s maid of honor? Of course I will. Oh, and tune in next week to see me becoming Kenny’s new favorite after I challenge Y/N in a dance duel with I got the music. Golden star is GOING DOWN."

Thank you for reading✨

NEXT PART HERE

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13 , @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @dpaccione @tuttigunner

[luke-patterson-owns-my-soul]

Kiss Me

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Title: Kiss Me

Words: 1593

Summary: Charlie’s back from Hawaii and providing social media with all the content.

Requested: No. I had to write this after that video of Charlie singing in the bath tub…

TW: Implications of sexual intercourse, mostly the reader getting frustrated by Charlie being Charlie.

Author’s notes: I just wanted to write a bit of domesticity between Charlie and the reader, and thanks to all the content we got from him the other day, this kinda just fell into place. I hope you like it. - also, a little shout out to @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ because she’s been giving us some AMAZING fic content, and she isn’t feeling to great today. I hope this helps a little, Nele.

Three weeks without being able to see Charlie in the flesh had been hard. Yeah, he’d posted photos and videos while he’d been away in Hawaii with his castmates and Kenny, but it wasn’t the same. Neither were the intimate FaceTime calls the two of you shared pretty much daily. Nothing beat being able to wrap your arms around him, to feel the warmth of his skin against yours, to smell the scent that was intrinsically him. Yeah, you’d missed him like crazy.

Checking your watch, again, before checking the arrivals board you leaned up against the wall behind you waiting for his flight to disembark the plane and make their way through to the arrivals lounge. You scrolled through your Instagram feed, checking out what people had been tagging your boyfriend in, amazed by the talent of his fans. More than anything, you wanted to share them, but as no one knew about you, you couldn’t. It was a good thing you ran a semi-popular fan account that you could do it all from, and your story was full of amazing artwork and song covers. As far as your followers knew, you were just another fangirl.

You were so engrossed in the pictures on the screen in front of you, you didn’t hear Charlie approaching you, didn’t know he was right in front of you until grabbed you by the waist, making you squeal in shock and almost drop your phone.

“Oh my God, Charlie. You scared me.” You laughed, flinging your arms around his neck, breathing him in. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but my mom taught me that lying makes my nose grow and my tongue fall out. And I don’t think you’d want that.” He teased after placing a quick kiss on your lips.

“Well, no. But it would be quieter around the apartment.” Your response made him pull away and pout. “What? Am I lying?”

“I thought you loved me.” If he hadn’t been grinning like the loveable idiot he was, you would have believed his offended tone of voice was real.

“Oh, you know I adore you. Shall we go home?” as you slide your phone into your pocket, you take hold of his hand and lead him out to the parking lot where his car is parked. “Do you want to drive, or shall I?”

“You, please.” You know he’s not the most confident of flyers, so you understand his need to chill for a while before he’s at full Gillespie – a term you coined not long after the two of you met and he was his usual ‘constant overdrive’ self. He was always moving, doing something with his hands, or exploring. Charlie Gillespie didn’t do bored or sitting still very well.

Once you’re back at the apartment you share Charlie sets about unpacking his case, dumping his clothes in the washer straight away. It always strikes you how domestic he is. You’re not the best at remembering to do stuff, but he always manages to catch what you miss.

“Have you got to go to work?” he asks you as he leans up against the counter while you prepare some food for the two of you. You work at a TV studio, but the show you work on is on a break so your hours are more flexible than they would be normally.

“No, I’m all yours for a couple of days.” Your words make him grin before he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss.

Your kiss had led to more of an intimate reunion which led you both to your bedroom for most of the day. By the time you emerged, it was almost dark outside and the food you’d been preparing needed to be tossed in the trash. You couldn’t complain though because you’d been able to show Charlie just how much you’d missed him.

___________________________

After the insanity that was Charlie’s delivery from and subsequent live with Madison’s dad, you now had a billboard poster partially unfolded in your bedroom. Naturally, because he was often a child in an adult’s body, Charlie had been like a kid at Christmas when he’d been allowed to open the box. Off camera, he’d been able to slide the parcel that had been included with your name on – Mr. Reyes had so kindly included a hoodie for you which you were now wearing while you stared at the space around you in horror.

“Charlie, babe. Did you have to open it in here? You heard what he said, it took up their entire back yard. Our bedroom is like a shoebox.”

“Yeah, I kinda got carried away. Sorry.” Leaning over, so he wouldn’t rip the poster, he planted a kiss on your lips.

“Well, don’t expect me to help you fold it back up.” With a grin, you turned on your heel and flounced out of the room to post screenshots from the live to your fan account. Only Charlie knew about it and had followed you early on. Eventually, after hearing him swearing and falling over, you went in and helped him fold the damn thing up. It took a ridiculous amount of time, but it was soon back in the box ready to be transported to Canada in Charlie’s car when the both of you went back for Christmas.

Exhausted, you flopped onto the couch and decided to order in some food rather than cook. But first, you took a sweaty selfie and sent it to Madison.

I love your dad, but please don’t let him send us anymore billboard posters. It took two hours to get it back in the damn box.

Her reply was instant.

Dad never expected him to unfold the thing. Love to you both. She wasn’t wrong. Only the man you adored would have ever done that, and live on the internet too. Shaking your head, you ordered pizza.

“Babe, I need a favor.” Charlie spoke as he tidied up the pizza boxes and soda cans from your dinner, making you groan. You were still exhausted, and now a little bloated. All you wanted to do was to slouch and watch a movie, curled up in Charlie’s arms.

“What?”

“Help me set up my phone in the bathroom.” That got your attention.

“Er… why?”

He scratched at the back of his head, a sheepish look on his beautiful face that was covered in the stubble you adored.

“I want to do a couple of videos.”

“And you have to do it now? Haven’t you done enough today?” you close your eyes as you lean your head on the back of the couch. You sense Charlie standing behind you, and when you open your eyes again, he’s looking down at you, the puppy dog eyes in force. Even upside down, he knows what they do to you. “I hate you, did you know that?” you tell him affectionately. With a grin, he bends over and captures your lips in a searing kiss.

“I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” With a chuckle, he runs his jaw along yours, knowing the roughness of his stubble is a huge turn on for you.

“Yes, yes you will.” You pull away and stand up. The sooner you get this done, the sooner the two of you can snuggle, and the sooner you can claim your owed favor.

Grabbing the car keys from the sideboard, you head down to the car to get the phone holder. You figure the suction cup works on the car’s windscreen, so should work on the glass screen. When you get back into the apartment, Charlie’s changed clothes and has his guitar in his hand.

“Remind me why you can’t do this from the couch?” you ask, walking into the bathroom. It’s tiny and you know Charlie’s going to regret his decision, but when he mumbles about acoustics you keep your mouth shut. Trying to change his mind when it’s made up is nigh on impossible.

You manage to secure the phone holder to the shower screen you’d cleaned that morning, pull it across the tub, and leave the small space.

“All ready for you, maestro.” You call out as you enter the lounge. Charlie stands up, kisses you and disappears into the bathroom. You fully plan on putting the TV on, choosing a random Hallmark Christmas movie to watch, and wait for him to finish, but when you hear his clear voice singing what he knows is one of your favorite Ed Sheeran songs, you can help but go and stand at the end of the tub and watch him morph from Charlie your doofus boyfriend to Charlie the star.

You watch him, with a smile on your face, as he records a video for his Instagram reel, messing it up a couple of times and having to restart a few times, making you laugh.

“If you can’t be quiet, you’re gonna have to leave.” He scolds you without any anger in his voice.

“I’ll behave. For now.” You wink at him as he starts to record again. Once he’s done, he says he wants to do one more, slightly longer for his Tiktok account.

“Last try, because my leg’s falling asleep.” He speaks into the camera once it’s recording.

I’m in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved

Wanna be loved, wanna be loved,

Wanna be loved, yeah

As he sings, he looks up, catching your eye and smiling. In that moment, you fall in love with him all over again.

.

.

.

.

.

Taglist: - if you want to be added, please send me an ask, just in case I happen to miss any comments

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[inomios]

Beauty behind the madness || levi ackerman x reader || PART I

Summary: “You knew that under all of his layers of grief and rage there was something worth loving; he knew that under your easy smiles and sweet words there was something dark lurking. He wanted all of you and you wanted all of him.”

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Words: 7,4K

TG: Brief allusion to soldiers’ suicides; little description of a panic attack on the seventh part (I can’t feel my face); brief talk about death and addiction; and even though I wrote it all using gender neutral terms, at some point I used the term girlfriend because partner sounded too cold for the situation.

-        If you are triggered by some content that I haven’t mentioned, please tell me so I can add it to the list and prevent it from happening again.

Author’s note: Mushing my favorite album with my comfort character is being so much fun. I’m enjoying so much this process you wouldn’t believe it. The second part will be up next Tuesday, and it’ll be the ending. Please, share, comment and like if you enjoyed, it would mean the world to see your reactions and impressions. As always, English is not my mother language, so sorry for the mistakes.

                                                          . . .

1. REAL LIFE

He had carved on his soul, heart and mind the words that Kenny had once told him, back when he was a scared and weak kid under his wing in the Underground, back when Kenny had caught him crying in the dead of night over his mother.

‘Boy, you won’t survive a day with that attitude. Your mother was a whore and now she’s a dead whore, get over it. You don’t have time to mop over her, crying is for people who have nothing more important to worry about.’

Kenny, for better or for worse, had taught him many lessons that became the key to his survival, advices he would never forget, and this was one of them: ‘Grieving is a waste of time.’

Every second he cried over his mother was time he could have spent granting his sorrowful existence. He couldn’t let his grief control him, because missing his mother wouldn’t make him last another day, she couldn’t protect him now that she was gone. So, for better or for worse, he let his sadness and rage aside and started focusing on what was important: survival.

Grieve is a tricky feeling, it makes you think you can control it, while it just keeps bottling up until it explodes, and you better be ready for when that happens, because you may not be able to fix the mess it’s going to leave behind.

Levi thought he had masqueraded his feelings pretty well, he tried to shrug everything off, as if nothing mattered to him, but it did, and Kenny knew it and he loved to tease him about it, he loved to press his buttons, Levi had learned that pretty soon in the relationship, but he was trying to handle his feelings, he wanted to prove Kenny he was worthy of his time, that he was strong, that  he wasn’t weak, not anymore. So, whenever Kenny tried to get a reaction out of him, he kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t water down the fire in his grey eyes and Kenny could see it, he always could.

‘You are as worthless as your mother, maybe I should leave you in a brothel too, then you would be useful for something.’

A loud howling laughter.

Levi’s brow twitched.

‘Did your mom have time to teach you how to read or was she too busy fucking half the Underground?’

He thought he had said something hilarious. He bent over his back.

Levi had a little knife clutched in his hand.  He was starting to see red.

‘You’re as worthless as your mother.’

He was pushing him to his limits.

Levi had already passed them.

He liked to think that there was a dark abyss inside of him, a bottomless place where he could hide all his emotions and thoughts, they were useless, so he ignored them, he kept them away, far from the surface. Levi thought that he could detach from his pain, but it was a part of him, and if you stare into the abyss for too long, the abyss stares back at you. The Levi who grieved was still there, looking at him, the Levi who felt too much but said nothing wanted to get out, so he did, he escaped from the abyss and took control.

He run towards Kenny, eyes gleaming with unshed tears, knife in his hand, aiming for his heart, but Kenny was faster, quicker on his feet, he moved just in time. However, Levi still managed to scratch his shoulder, he teared his shirt and he could see the blood slipping, tainting the white fabric.

Kenny got mad. Levi had never seen him that furious. He grabbed his scrawny body and gave him the beating of his life. When he ended, Levi couldn’t even move, he was lying on the floor on a puddle of his own blood.

‘Listen kid, I don’t give a fuck about your shitty problems. You think you’re special? Guess what, you are a piece of shit, just like everyone else. Everyone here has issues, solve them or do whatever you want to do with them, but don’t you ever dare to pull a stunt like that again, because I’ll will leave you here to die, boy.’

That was the second lesson Kenny had told him: ‘Control is vital.’

He thought that by ignoring his feelings he was controlling them, but he was wrong, he realized that when those bottled emotions caused him to be bed ridden a few days.

Instead, he decided to let his feelings out in really calculated moments, he started to canalize all his rage into more productive stuff, like cleaning. He liked to think that by cleaning he had control over something, there was something cathartic to him in scrubbing floors, doing the laundry, and mopping floors. It was the Underground, it was filthy no matter how much effort he put into it, but it gave him something he could focus on, something he could use to let his frustrations out.

So, he cleaned, for his mother who deserved a better live.

For the innocent child that he once was, who had been stripped from everything he loved.

For Kenny, who he despised and was cruel and ruthless.

For all the things he had to do to survive.

He cleaned and cleaned, and he never had an outburst again. He was in control.

Looking back, he is sure that part of Kenny’s fury that day was that a kid made him bleed. You see, Kenny liked to think of himself as some kind of god, a ruler, someone who could control everybody, someone who was holding your fate between his calloused hands. And when he hurt Kenny, both of them realized two things, especially Levi, who discovered this: ‘Gods bleed to.’

Levi learnt his third lesson that day. No one could control him, the same way he couldn’t control anyone. You are the one who makes the decisions, just be sure to choose one you won’t regret. Kenny had no power over him, he wasn’t a god and if he was, Levi wouldn’t bow down to him.

Kenny learnt that Levi, that child, had a fire within he couldn’t tame, Levi wasn’t going to be a submissive, brainless follower. He had potential, he had willpower, he didn’t really need him, but the boy didn’t know it yet. So, when the moment came, he left. He had grown to care about his nephew, at least a little, but Levi was a survivor and Kenny knew he would fight with teeth and claws until the very end. Therefore, Kenny left him with the only person who could protect him: Levi himself.

When Kenny left him at his own, alone again in the Underground, he learnt his fourth lesson: ‘Love is a risk he wasn’t going to take again.’

  2. LOSERS

Stupid is next to ‘I love you.’ He was pretty fucking sure of that.

He made a bow to himself: he wasn’t going to love anyone ever again, people are bound to leave, and whenever they left, they took away a part of him, and he was already too broken for that. However, life happens, and it turns everything upside down, it doesn’t ask for consent, so his plan of never loving again was ruined sooner than he would’ve liked.

Furlan came first. He wasn’t looking for a companion, at all. A companion meant more people to care about, a distraction, and he didn’t need any of that. However, Furlan managed to convince him that he could be useful to him. Whenever he looks back, he thinks that both of them knew that Levi didn’t need anyone, he could survive on his own, he was tougher than anyone else in the Underground, but he was alone, so alone, and a part of him yearned so much for someone that he let Furlan come with him.  

Their relationship was weird at first, not sure where the boundaries of the other laid, what they could do or don’t. Furlan didn’t want to overstep and piss off Levi and Levi didn’t want to overshare with him, he didn’t want to show him his weaknesses, but at the same time he wanted to spend time with him.

He remembers that there were moments when Levi desired to say something, talk about pointless stuff, but he never did, after Kenny he was deprived of human contact that he even thought that he had lost his voice. However, as time passed them by, they fell into some type of routine, boundaries became clearer. Furlan started to get Levi, how he would never start a conversation no matter how bad he wanted; how his mind was always plotting something; how he always had an ace upon his sleeve… Furlan grew fond on him, he knew that there was a lot Levi wasn’t telling him, but from time to time he got to see a glimpse of all the man he was under his façade and layers of secrets, and he wanted to learn about him, he wanted to be his friend, he wanted to have someone to help and he wanted someone to take care of him, he wanted to stay.

On the other hand, Levi liked how Furlan seemed to know when he could talk and joke around and when he had to stay silent, it was like he understood him, Furlan was prudent and chill, thinking before acting, and he knew when to fight and when to give up. Levi started to care about him, a lot, against his better judgement, he just hoped he wouldn’t regret his choice.

Then, Isabel appeared on scene. Levi was happy enough with Furlan, he didn’t need someone else to worry about, that was more trouble, more chances to get hurt. However, he soon found he had a soft spot for the girl. She was so energetic, so bubbly, eyes always gleaming with hope, she was a ray of light in the darkest place. She was messy, reckless and wild, she balanced them out. When she asked to join them, Levi wanted to let out one of his characteristic ‘Tch’ and turn his back on her, there was no room for compassion in the Underground, but he couldn’t, he was weaker than he thought. He couldn’t leave her at her own knowing she could get herself killed, he didn’t want to be like Kenny, he wasn’t going to be like him.

The three of them became a gang, well, not just a gang, a family too. They looked after each other, they looked after Levi, just like his mother did. They were the best criminals in the Underground, and sometimes Levi felt like a god with the world at his feet. He shouldn’t have forgotten his third lesson: ‘Gods bleed too.’ He thought they were invincible, they weren’t, they were no gods, life wouldn’t bend at their will.

When Isabel and Furlan died, he didn’t even have proper bodies to bury, he just did two little makeshift graves and carved their name on the gray stone. He was the only person who would remember them, so he visited them at least once a week (he still does), mainly during his sleepless nights, when no one would ever question or notice his absence. Talking with them was the only reason why he hadn’t given up long time ago, he was their leader, he told them to always keep going, to never back down.

So, he kept going, for his mother, for Isabel and for Furlan. For the only people who ever loved him.

Maybe he didn’t really keep going, maybe he just let life pass by, what mattered was that he was alive and fighting for a purpose, he owed them that, their deaths wouldn’t be in vain.

Why did he always have to lose everything?

Why there was nothing good in store for him?

He was bound to lose to lose everything.

Stupid is next to I love you.

He was so fucking foolish.

3. TELL YOUR FRIENDS

The mission had been a carnage, a lot of fallen soldiers. He could still hear their screams and see the fear in their eyes, more images to haunt him while he was sleeping, as if they weren’t already enough. He couldn’t save anyone, he never could, he was human after all, even if some people thought about him like a god.

He had had a problem with his ODM gear during the mission, the gas cylinders were failing and wasting too much gas, so he ran out of it pretty quickly, which costed him a seven meters fall, breaking his right leg, his left arm, a few ribs and a concussion in the process. He could have died and a part of him wished he had, then, the pain would have ended. Luckily, Hange arrived just in time to help him, he still thinks that maybe they knew what was going on in his head, that he had thought about giving up right there, and that’s why as soon as they arrived back home, they sent him to the infirmary, not wanting to leave him alone. Hange still says it was because he couldn’t take proper care of his injuries by himself. They both knew he had had it way worse than that.

The infirmary was clean, and that meant a lot according to his standards, but your desk wasn’t, not at all and it was driving him crazy, if he could, he would get up and clean it himself. However, you seemed unphased by it, every day you would drop more documents on your table (but no document ever left, they just kept piling up); he had seen you drop coffee on some paper and not giving a fuck a single fuck about it; you had seven books on your table, none of them related with medicine, you just had them there because you wanted; and if you asked him what irked him the most, he would say the brush, you had a brush in your desk and it was full of hair. He couldn’t get his eyes of your desk, and if you ever noticed, you never did anything about it; or maybe you did notice and since you are a little shit, you just wanted to see how far you could go before he went feral. We will never know.

If you had been any other person, like one of the members of his squad, he would have said something way earlier, but you weren’t his subordinate, you were a medic and as far as he knew, he didn’t have the right to scold you at your own workplace.

You were competent, you just talked when necessary and you would always ask him if he wanted something, no matter how many times he had said ‘no’ and whenever Hange came to visit, you would always talk with them and ask them about their experiments and research. Hence, Hange thought you were the sweetest person ever, they had even told him that he better not be giving you any trouble.

You both had an easy routine. You would come in first hour in the morning, trying to be silent with no success at all, you were so noisy, luckily for him, he never sleeps more than four hours. You would sit on your desk and write a letter, every day, who the fuck had so many people to talk to or how many things worth telling did happen in your life? Then, you would go out to get him breakfast and you brought more documents with yourself, his breakfast always came with a cup of tea, a shitty cup of tea, but at least it wasn’t coffee or juice, he didn’t know if you were the one behind the tea, but if you were, he was glad you didn’t work on the kitchen. After breakfast, Hange would pay him a visit and talk with him, his squad would often visit him after training and Erwin once or twice a week, whenever his work let him a little free. At midday you would water the plants on the window, you had once called them ‘Asphodels’ and after watering them you disappeared, at the beginning he thought you just went to eat, later on, he would find why you did that. The rest of the day was the same, you wrote and read documents and he would either look annoyed at your desk or he would vert his gaze at the window to distract himself.

This routine changed the second week, because you asked him two questions that made him be more comfortable around you.

‘Why do you look at my desk as if it were making you sick?’

‘Tch, because is making me sick, it’s dirty as fuck.’

Okay, not the best words, but you asked, and he answered. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel better after telling you. You blushed a little and scratched your neck bashfully.

‘Sorry, I can be a little messy sometimes.’

‘I can see.’

That day you spent the evening emptying your desk, any other person would have asked you not to bother, but Levi couldn’t care, after all, his last thread of sanity depended on that desk. When you finished cleaning, you asked the second question.

‘You hate my tea, but you drink it anyways, why?’

He felt his ears getting a little red, and he just shrugged and looked away.

‘You are taking care of me, didn’t wanna be a bitch about it.’

You smiled, a smile brighter than the morning star, and for a fraction of second he forgot how the breath, but he obviously didn’t say a thing about it.

‘I promise you that tomorrow you’ll have the best tea ever.’

‘Tch, if you say so.’

He appreciated your gesture, kindness wasn’t something he was used to, it felt weird and strange to have someone to do good things just for the sake of doing them, it made him wary, he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought that maybe you wanted to get something from him and that’s why you acted so nicely around him.

The next day, after writing your daily letter, at your then clean desk, you brought him breakfast with a steaming cup of tea. He drank the beverage under your expecting gaze and to his surprise it was nice, not the best tea ever made, but definitely not the worst.

‘It tastes better.’

‘Thanks, this time I followed the recipe.’ You admitted proudly.

‘How the fuck were you even making tea before?’

‘Instinct?’

He looked at you astonished, how come you were a doctor, but you couldn’t follow a three-step recipe? At that moment he thought his health was in the hands of dumbest medic in the area, however, he didn’t really care, well, at least not as much as he would have expected. You had something, an aura around your persona, that was soothing and endearing, rather than infuriating.

At the crack of dusk on that same day, he was the one who asked a question.

‘Who are you always writing?’

For a moment he swears he saw your happy demeanor quivering, as if he had opened a cage that should have remained closed, but you quickly fixed, the funny glint coming back at your eyes as fast as it had left. It was in that moment when he knew that you weren’t as shallow as he may have deemed you to be.

‘I’m just telling my friends about this annoying patient I have. Do you know he made me clean my office desk?’

Your voice was laced with amusement, you were trying to divert his attention to another topic, and he knew, but he was no one to press you about it.

‘Well, as soon as I’m free, I’m telling my friends about how my medic is a fucking shitshow.’ Too blunt, but you brushed it off.

‘They sound like a nightmare.’

‘They are.’

You smiled, yet again as blinding as the sun.

He didn’t smile, he didn’t even grimace, his face was as stoic as always, but for a split of second, a smile nearly slipped in.

To his surprise, he actually talked about you to his friends. When he had the medical lease, the first thing he did was visit Isabel and Furlan’s impromptu graves and talk about you. It wasn’t a lot, he just mentioned you a few times. It didn’t mean a thing, and at the same time, it meant everything.

 4. OFTEN

It didn’t mean a thing.

Not a single thing.

It was unimportant.

He was like that with everyone.

Except he wasn’t and he knew it.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He would always find himself at your door, not because he was sick or harmed, he just felt the need to see you. He didn’t even talk with you that much, he wasn’t good at opening up or even small talk. He was foul-mouthed, snarky and his words could cut deeper than a knife. You were soft, kind, funny and there weren’t uncomfortable silences with you, your presence was comforting. Levi didn’t get why he felt that way about you, he barely knew you, but you had something that drew him in, maybe it was the normalcy you brought him. You were a doctor, you healed people, you tended their injuries; you hadn’t seen the titans, you hadn’t seen comrades die at their merciless hands, you didn’t know what was outside the walls and he liked that. You were an escape. It was as if his life was only centered around Titans and his existence had no other point but to kill or think about to kill Titans: Hange were always babbling about Titans; his paperwork was always a painful reminder of fallen mates; Erwin was always tracing missions and plans; and the whole point of his squad was training to defeat those beasts. He never had a break, but visiting you felt like it.

He knocked at your door and it opened, you were at your desk, which was an unorganized mess then again, humming some song he didn’t know while you were reading some medical reports. And the asphodels in the window looked beautiful as always.

‘Hi, Levi.’ You looked up and gave him a smile.

Your smiles.

Oh man, he took them in like a dehydrated man would savor the first droplets of rain.

He just nodded as a salute and walked towards the window to see the asphodels.

‘Why asphodels?’ he asked, you loved those flowers, and they weren’t necessary the most beautiful.

To him you were more like yellow lilies, he had read somewhere that yellow lilies meant joy and happiness. They always brought a simile to one’s face because they are the true depiction of the sun, just like you were.

‘I don’t know, they are special’ you said with a small voice, the same haunted look in your eyes, the same that appeared when he asked about your letters.

‘I guess they are.’

A comfortable silence fell in the room. He was getting used to these havens of peace.

That night at dinner, he was sitting next to Erwin, Hange in front of him, looking at him quizzically.

‘What’s going between you and y/n? You’re always at their place.’ They ask.

‘Tch, nothing, I just visit them often.’

Lies

‘So, there is no ulterior motive, like, I don’t know, our Short king having a crush?’ Levi sometimes forgot how punchable Hange’s face was.

‘No.’

More lies.

Something was going on, they both knew, but he was too scared to think about what it was.

 5. THE HILLS

Another fight. More deaths. What was the point of it? He felt like he was fighting for a pointless cause, the more deaths, the less they knew. He would have to send more letters to the families, telling them that their sons and daughters fought bravely until their last breath and sacrificed their lives for the sake of humanity. However, broken families would come to him and ask him if it was worth it, if the death of their children, cousins, brothers and parents brought them answers, if their deaths meant that humanity was closer to taste the freedom they longed for. He had always said that no death was in vain, but he was starting to question that.

He had barely seen you after the mission, he retreated to his quarters, drowning himself in reports and regrets, if he had been better, he could have saved more lives, but he wasn’t enough, he was no hero, he was a human. He had been fighting his whole life and he just wanted it to stop, he wanted peace and tranquility, not more deaths at his shoulders, no more ghosts to haunt him at the end of the day.

He never slept, at least not for more than a few hours. However, after a mission he didn’t sleep at all, the images of his comrades’ deaths still fresh on his mind, their screams still piercing his ears, his sanity vanished a little bit more every time he tried to close his eyes, so he just laid awake looking at the roof, thinking about all the things he could have done to save them, repeating their names as if he was asking for their forgiveness.

Sometimes it all got too much, and he needed to walk to clear his mind, there were nights when he walked for hours with no direction at all, but that night he did have a direction: your office. He didn’t really know why he was doing it, but he was too tired to turn back and ask himself why you. He thought that you would probably be asleep, but to his surprise there was a dim light coming from your office, so he knocked, just like all of those times before, and your soft voice told him to come in.

He had never seen you so disheveled and tired, dark bags under your eyes, traces of tears on your face and bloodshot eyes. He also noticed four new asphodels on your desk. He looked at them and then he looked at you. He wanted to ask, but he couldn’t, so you spoke.

‘My regrets follow you to the grave.’ He barely heard you.

‘What?’

‘That’s what asphodels mean, you asked me about them once, you remember?’

He nodded, that’s all he could do.

‘I couldn’t save them, I tried, but I wasn’t good enough.’ You broke down to tears.

He wasn’t good at processing his own emotions, let alone other people’s. What was he supposed to do? He knew that people hugged to show support, but as he would say, he was ‘emotionally constipated’, so he just stayed there, looking at you.

Do something.

Do something.

Do something.

But he remained stiff, it was like watching the scene happen in third person.

‘I’m sorry, I know this is making you uncomfortable, it’s just that it’s been a long day.’

‘It’s been a long day for me to.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘You told me that asphodels mean ‘my regrets follow you to the grave’, that’s why you have them? Because you feel guilty?’

‘I plant one for every soldier that dies on my watch.’ That was the first time you opened up with him.

‘I keep the badges of their uniforms.’ That was the first time he opened up with you.

Right then everything shifted.

‘It wasn’t your fault.’ He knew those feelings, the remorse and the guilt, he was so painfully familiar with them that they had become a part of his being.

‘It wasn’t your fault either, Levi.’

It wasn’t your fault either.

It wasn’t your fault either.

It wasn’t your fault either.

Your words echoed in his mind like a drum and for a moment he believed them.

You came closer and you wrapped your arms around him, he tried to respond, embracing you in strangely, you laughed at his antics and in that moment, he wanted to disappear. You smiled and you readjusted his arms around your waist. He brought you closer, slowly, not wanting to scare you away and break the moment. You laid your head in his chest, right above his heart, and he hoped you couldn’t hear his heart beating wildly. He hid his face in the crook of your neck, his breath tickling your skin and your smell intoxicating him. For a moment he felt like home, even though he didn’t understand what ‘being home’ meant, but it had to be very similar to that: comforting, reassuring, peaceful, safe.

That night, he spent what felt like hours holding you, until you had to part separate ways, the only witnesses were the asphodels and the hills at the distance.

  6. ACQUAINTED

What are we?

Levi couldn’t stop asking himself that question.

Friends didn’t have what you two had. Maybe he wasn’t the most amicable person, but he had had some friends in his life: he once had Isabel and Furlan when he was younger, and now he had Hange and Erwin, and maybe he could even consider his squad friends. And none of what he felt for them was like what he felt for you.

He tried to make sense of his thoughts by writing them, but words weren’t his forte and he just ended more and more confused.

You were nice.

You were beautiful.

You made him laugh, well, not laugh, but close enough.

You were kind.

He appreciated you, he cared for you and he wanted to protect you, but he also felt the same towards Erwin, Hange and his squad. Then, if it was the same, why it was completely different.

He kept visiting you, everything looked like it was the same, but everything had changed. It felt like the calm before the storm, as if something was about to happen, the tides were shifting, he could feel it. There were words unsaid lingering in the atmosphere and sooner or later, someone would have to utter them. But who? And if you spoke them, what would he say?

He also spent a lot of his time thinking about that too, if you happened to confess your feelings for him, if you had them, would he be able to respond them? Normal people would try, give it a shot and see what would happen, what the relationship had in store, let things flow; but he wasn’t normal, he was far from normal, he knew he wasn’t the easiest to love. He was rude, mean, a control freak, he wasn’t the one for big displays of affection, he was the last person someone would want as a partner. People yearned for epic love stories, something that could take your breath away and he wouldn’t be able to do that, he wouldn’t be able to give you the bare minimum.

Also, after all the people he had lost, he didn’t want your name to be added to that list. He preferred the uncertainty of your relationship than the possibility of losing you. If he left more people in, more people he could lose. He wasn’t stupid, he knew you were already in, but there were still boundaries between both of you.

He had also fantasized about laying himself bare in front of someone, share all of his trauma and memories, share the burden with someone, but who would love all of him? If he couldn’t even stand himself most of the days, how could he expect that someone would   do it?

‘If you were a flower, I think you would be a gladiolus.’ You would always blurt nonsense out of the blue, but for some reason, he found it endearing instead of annoying.

‘Tch, what’s even that supposed to mean?’

‘I don’t know, it’s just, gladius symbolize strength, generosity, faithfulness and I guess those are things I associate with you.’ Your cheeks were tainted with the softest tones of red and you weren’t looking at him, your gaze was fixed on your paperwork.

Those words had a way deeper meaning, he knew it and you knew it, it was as if you were testing the water by putting the tips of your feet in it. As per usual he didn’t know what to say, what was he supposed to say to that? Thanks? I think I may be falling for you?

‘Sorry, I made things weird, I should just-’ you couldn’t finish because he had started talking.

‘I think you would be a yarrow flower.’ Amazing, now he was the one talking nonsense.

Not so long ago he pictured you as yellow lilies, joy and happiness, but after getting to know you better, he realized that that description was too shallow for what you meant to him. He didn’t know a lot about flowers, he wasn’t really into botany, but he had heard about yarrow before, he had heard merchants inside Sina call them ‘plant doctor’, since they would be often placed near other plants to keep the pests away, he had also heard that it was considered invasive too, because how easily it spread. Therefore, the association came quickly to him, you were healing, a solace from the cruelty of his world; and you were invasive, because he couldn’t be away from you, you consumed him.

‘That means a lot.’ Your blush was now more pronounced now and he wondered what you had made out of his words.

He felt a wave of panic travel through his body, maybe that statement was too deep, maybe he screwed it all, so he decided to excuse himself and ran away from the situation he had created. He had told you he was going to his room, he lied, he was going to the library, he needed to see what his words had meant. He wasted all his evening looking for books about the meaning of flowers, he sure looked like a madman, he hadn’t even gone to the Mess Hall to have dinner, he needed to found answers, and he found them at two a.m.

“The secret language of flowers” said the title, he opened the book and he started looking for the yarrow’s meaning.

Healing and Good Health

Courage and War

Everlasting Love

When he read the last symbolism of the flower, his heart stopped for a whole minute, did he just declare his feelings, that he wasn’t ever sure of, to you? He wanted to disappear in the spot, just vanish into the air.

He went to his room, holding the book close to his chest. He spent the rest of the night reading the book, he wouldn’t mess up again, if he ever wanted to talk about flowers with you, he would be informed. When the sun rose, his head was buzzing with flower meanings, and he would be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about you while reading some of them.

At breakfast he did go to the Mess Hall and took his usual place.

‘Where were you yesterday at dinner?’ asked Erwin.

‘With his girlfriend.’ Replied Hange with a big smile.

‘She’s not my girlfriend.’ He said with a grunt.

‘What are they then?’ Hange was using the tone, the one which meant “I know you’re hiding something, and I won’t stop pestering you until I discover it.”

‘We are just acquainted.’

‘Liar.’

 7. CAN’T FEEL MY FACE

He remembered how there were days when Kenny would drink himself to oblivion, Levi didn’t understand why he did it. He didn’t see the point of passing out in the floor, and when he asked, Kenny answered that ‘his vices kept him sane’. It still made no sense to him, how a man could be so cunning and sharp, while he wasted his nights and days with alcohol, women and many other things that Levi wasn’t interested on trying. He had seen Kenny drunk and it was far from having control. The first lesson Kenny had told him was that control is vital, then, how come he was powerless in his own life, letting alcohol take control of him.

‘You’re old enough to try it, boy. Take some if you want.’

The first time Kenny offered him alcohol, he had declined, he had said no, and Kenny had shrugged it off, as if saying: ‘more for me.’ He wouldn’t get it, it didn’t make sense, Kenny, who prided himself on his cold-blood and his steel nerves, would renounce to that control so easily, he didn’t want to be like that, never in a million years, he would never give up his self-control.

Until he did.

He had lost control. And he now understood Kenny.

He knew he should distance himself from you, he didn’t want more Furlan’s and Isabel’s, he was getting dangerously close to you and he didn’t want that. He should run away, disappear. You were kind and sweet, you would find someone else to feel the void he would inevitably leave. He had always been the one being left behind, and he survived, you would too. Also, it’s not as if he contributed a lot to your life. He was sure you both would be better with the other far away, I mean, the facts were there. Actually, they had been spiraling in his head for a while.

Then, if he knew all of that, why was he helping you cut clean bandages, especially so close to you that he could smell your shampoo? Oh yeah, because you asked him to, as easy as that, all his conviction melted away from every fiber of his body.

Why did he do that? Why was he so helpless around you? Oh yeah, because you made him feel so damn good. You had him wrapped around your finger and you didn’t seem to notice, you acted as if it was nothing, you had power over him, you had Humanity’s Strongest at his knees.

‘My family died a long time ago, I couldn’t save them, I moved in with my aunt and I decided that I’d study medicine for them.’ You said out of the blue.

You cut one bandage.

‘The letters I write are for them. It’s stupid, but it makes me feel closer to them.’

You cut another bandage.

He didn’t say a thing.

He hated himself, any other person would have hugged you or said something, he just stayed there, frozen and acting as cold as always. Why did you confide in him something so personal? He wasn’t the one to go when you are sad, he didn’t even know how to process his own trauma and baggage most of the time. What was he supposed to do?

On the other hand, you trusted Levi more than anyone in your life. He brought you peace and solace, something you thought you would never have.

You lost your family when you were really young, always feeling guilty for being the one who survived, and you promised to yourself you would vow your life to help the others, never putting your needs first. When you joined the military, you watched many soldiers die on your hands, you could still hear their last words, how scare they were, how they didn’t want to die like that, alone and far away from their family; you could also recall their mutilated bodies; and you could also remember how many of them would survive the Titans but lose the fights against their own mind and end up being another fallen soldier that died for nothing. You loved your job, but it also killed a part of you every day, there were no victories on a war, and you knew it. That’s why you picked up gardening, you planted a flower for every soldier who died, something to remember them.

When you met Levi, you admired him, you had heard the stories about him, his courage, mood changes, sharp tongue, skills, intelligence… You would be lying if you said he didn’t make you curious, you were used to soldiers haunted by the horrors they had faced, but something about him was different, maybe because you saw yourself in those grey eyes. You two were similar, you both had so much pent up that you could not talk about, you had an image to keep, and it was exhausting. He had a name to uphold, people looked up to him, if he failed, if he crumbled, everyone else would; you were a doctor, and no matter how hard things were, you had to be strong for your patients, never showing how much their pain took a toll on you. You could let your mask down, because even though he didn’t talk too much or overall understand why you were sharing that, it felt good, liberating.

Sometimes, he would also talk about him, not a lot, but enough to make you feel understood, and those moments, when he showed the man underneath the façade, glimpses of his true persona, those few minutes, sometimes even seconds, were responsible for your growing feelings for the captain.

‘It’s not stupid, I talk to my dead friends’ graves.’ He said nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t baring a piece of him in front of you.

Those kind of flashes of the man he was underneath took your breath away every single time.

You came close to him, slowly, testing the waters, not wanting to scare him away. Maybe it was too forward, too reckless, too much at a time, but he didn’t move. You brought your hand to his cheek. He didn’t jump away. You looked into his eyes, pools of mercury. He held your gaze, expecting your next move. You could feel the tension. He could too.

‘They would be really proud of you.’ You said, voice thin and trembling.

He was silent. Your words caught him of guard.

He was feeling too much. His heartbeat was erratic, beating wildly, he could hear it. He felt the blood boiling under his skin, he was so hot, he was sweating. He couldn’t move, but he felt his body trembling. He could feel the room closing on him, trapping him. He wasn’t in control.

It was a too familiar feeling, one he had experienced a thousand times before.

‘Levi, are you okay? I’m sorry I’ve made you uncomfortable.’ You said worriedly.

He didn’t know what to do, he just wanted the pain in his chest to end.

You were too close. You were trapping him too. So, he pushed you away from you and run from the infirmary. You couldn’t see him like that, no one could.

Why did he share that with you? Why did you get too close? Were you going to kiss him?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why was he like that?

Why did he ruin things?

Why did he lose control of himself? He couldn’t even feel his face when you touched it.

He felt pathetic. He felt like the little kid he once was.

Control is vital.

Control is vital.

Control is vital.

If he was with you, he wasn’t in control. And if he lost his control, then he would have nothing.

He had to get away from you, because you were stripping him from the only thing he had: his control.