#i finally was able to put it into words ive had this weird vibe the whole time but couldnt explain it until now

[why-its-kai]

ok holy shit i figured out what my main gripe with Stampede is. the mystery of Vash's origins and who he is as well as Knives' and who Rem is are immediately given away in the first trailer.

long ramble under the cut. spoilers for 1998 anime & manga/Trigun Maximum ahead.

at the beginning of the series, we don't know anything about Vash besides the legends and the fact he is a wanted outlaw. for all we know, he's just a regular human guy with some extraordinary abilities, since that is all he appears to be. but they begin dropping hints about his past that gets you starting to wonder who he is. i remember on my first read of the manga, i thought Rem was Vash's dead girlfriend when he dreams about her during the BDN arc. I remember how completely stunned and surprised i was the first time Vash's arm is revealed to be a prosthetic during the fight with Monev (at first i literally thought Vash had ripped his own flesh & blood arm off in the manga!!) heck we barely know who Knives is until Legato appears before Monev or even the fact he is Vash's brother until episode 17 of the anime/chapter 4 of Maximum (after the 20 chapters of Trigun (tho it is kind of implied in the manga version of the Monev but not explicitly stated)) !! and fuck I cannot overstate how much of a shock seeing the episode "Rem Saverem" for the first time was. I literally thought i'd somehow started watching an episode of a different show since up to this point, it'd all been a western planet sort of setting and now we were in a spaceship in space with this whole crew of unfamiliar people until I was like wait is that Vash's dead girlfriend...? and these two kids who are they.... like that whole episode had me fucking glued to the screen watching this unexpected story unfold and reveal Vash's backstory, who Knives is, who Rem was, that Vash & Knives are indeed not human but Plants, and what led to the whole genesis of the story. like for that episode alone makes me wish i could totally forget everything I know about Trigun and experience it all again for the first time because it was definitely one of the most unexpected/compelling twists i've seen. meanwhile in Maximum, we don't learn about Rem/where the kids came from/the cause of the fall in this version until chapters 39-42. like in the anime, this is episode 17/26 (more than halfway through the series) and counting the Trigun chapters, that's 59-62/116 chapters (just about the halfway point). like the a huge part of the first half of Trigun's story is the mystery of who Vash is and why everything is happening and we're given little hints along the way that suddenly all come together when we get this flashback section about Rem. like this reveal is a pivotal moment in the series that gives us the reason why everything has happened to this point and reason to be invested in seeing this story to the end and how it will resolve now that we know why everything has happened up to this point.

and then. the first Stampede trailer. immediately gives all of this away.

they even give away the smaller twist that Vash's arm is prosthetic by making it a very obvious element of his character design.

two of what were the most unexpected and memorable twists of Trigun to me are spoiled before the show even began. like sure they didn't show/tell us the full details of how these came to be but they've given away so much that the full impact is gone. we won't be as surprised when Vash's arm suddenly becomes a gun. We won't be as surprised to learn that Vash & Knives are Plants were born 150 years ago on a spaceship. We won't be as surprised when Knives causes the Great Fall. like we already know it's gonna happen bc they already have shown us and so half of the impact these parts of the story had in the original manga & anime is just gone !!!!!!! they won't be half as memorable !!! they won't carry half as much importance !!!!! and that is so frustrating to know people are gonna be experiencing this story the first time this way !!!!!!! Trigun genuinely is one of my favorite series ever and a big part of it was the flow of the storytelling !!! the dropping of hints leading up to the reveal !!!! the experience of trying to piece together the mystery of Vash's past the first time through !!!! agh !!!!!

tl:dr my biggest problem with Stampede is they spoiled the biggest reveals of the story before it even began.

.....and realized this all because i had the thought this morning of "I hope the first episode doesn't start with the SEEDs ship crashing like in the first trailer." lmaoooooo

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[humanemotionssuck]

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[wolf-555-writer]

Still Breathing Part 7

I really did a number on your patience with this one I think ;p. But here it is, the final part. (That’s the intention at least, who knows what will happen in the future). Anyways, thank you all for reading the story, especially if you made it till this one! :) Enjoy! 

Read part 1; part 2; part 3; part 4; part 5; part 6

Alex Danvers x Reader

Word Count: 2,643

“Talk to you later Danvers”, you breathe out, closing the door behind you and leaving Alex her apartment in shame and guilt. She sighed agitated and squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of your footsteps fading away. Being aggravated as hell while still seated on the couch with her arms crossed in anger.

“I definitely need something stronger than coffee…”. Alex grabs a bottle of wine and pours herself a glass. Or two. Maybe even three. It’s already a total mess at the DEO, with Colonel Hayley parading around, watching over the Director’s every move, and now THIS!? DEO Agents beating each other up, fighting over absolutely nothing. Alex has a soft spot for you, considering you both confessed your long-lasting feelings to one another in front of the bar earlier. But that doesn’t mean she can’t be mad at you. Maybe the alcohol will help her relax from this long, intense day.  

Trying to ease her mind while sipping the red liquid at a reasonable speed; more or less. Finally… some peace and quiet, when suddenly her phone buzzes. The screen lights up and Alex takes a quick peek to see who it is. It’s your name on the phone display. A deep sigh followed by a dramatic rolling of the eyes as she drops back, burying herself in the couch again. She doesn’t even think about picking up. You’re probably calling to apologize, or beg for forgiveness. Why can’t you just let it rest. Alex is not in the mood to handle anything else today. The phone buzzes again. “Ugh, I’ve had enough”. She grabs it from the table and turns the phone off, whereby the silence kindly returns.

After simmering down, and an entire bottle of wine, she decides to call you back. A thorough, flawless speech thought out, ready to be delivered since you've had more than enough time to think your selfish actions over. She lightly regrets playing ‘hard to get’ earlier, though you kind of made her. You were practically an asshole, so it’s your own fault she ignored you. Alex noticed you left her a voicemail and listens to it first. Best case, you came to your senses all by yourself by which Alex would be relieved of a frustrated outbreak on the phone. She puts the phone to her ear. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops while a small gasp escapes her mouth after she’d covered it with her hand. Without hesitation she jumps up from the couch and storms out of the apartment. It’s as if all the alcohol left her system in a snap of a second and she’s never been more focused -or worried- before. Slamming the door shut with a loud bang and while running she dials a number. Hearing it ring a couple of times, after which a person on the other end of the line picks up and speaks:

“National City General, how can I help you?”

///

“Am I ...still alive? …still breathing?”. Vaguely perceiving all kinds of beeping noises and a pungent, hygienic smell that’s hanging around makes you feel nauseous. Carefully opening your eyelids as you give yourself some time to adjust to the bright lights. All too familiar with the place you’re at. “Again? How many times is this going to happen?”. No recollection what time it is or even which day of the week ...or month? Different types of wires are attached to you and fluids with medicine is entering your body through the IV. You try to lift your head up and inspect the room, but it’s hard, almost impossible. Your whole body is aching, muscles are sore, and the pain caused you to let out a deep groan.

Hearing the low sound, Alex promptly jumped up, since she had fallen asleep in the chair, exhausted from the constant state of uncertainty she was in. You take in the sight of her, pale skin, red eyes and it seems she hasn’t slept for days. Now standing beside you at the edge of the hospital bed, she takes your hand and clutches it delicately. You try to speak.  

“H-how l-long... “, stuttering with a dry, hoarse throat. “Have I been on life support? On ventilation?”, you think, feeling your trachea burn and having difficulty speaking. Alex is aware of your struggle and answers: “You’ve been in a coma for weeks now. To reduce brain swelling and give your body time to heal.”

In shock, you gape at her as the color drained out of your face and try to point at your neck with your other hand. “They’ve had you on ventilation, yes. Does your throat hurt?” she caringly asks. You weakly nod at her. Alex averts her gaze towards the bleak hospital floor. “It-it was pretty bad… You were in pretty bad shape ...and had stopped breathing. I-I thought…”. She said with a trembling voice, not able to finish the sentence. You grip her hand tighter with all the strength left and press to her, now with a more audible tone: “I’m still here. Still breathing''. You've locked eyes with her again and watch Alex staring at your poor face. You smile at her, and she matches you by showing a faint grin when you notice she’s desperately fighting back the tears that are heaping up in the corners of her eyes. She leans forward and gives you a tender kiss on the forehead while a doctor enters the room.

“I see you’re fully conscious now. Good”, she says as you and Alex turn to her. “Given your history I don’t have to explain everything in detail to you, sadly. I won’t lie, you have a tough road up ahead”.

Knowing it all too well due to your past experience. You have to go through rehabilitation all over again. Only the thought of it makes you feel even more miserable. However, that’s not all. It’s also the feeling of being weak, helpless, not able to do easy or simple tasks yourself since you don’t have the strength for it, yet. You have to start at square one again, and this time it’s your own damn fault. Alex noticed the sad, hopeless expression and strokes your shoulder gently. You look at her. This time you're not alone, Alex has been beside you, from the moment you were brought in injured up till now.

“I’m not going to leave your side, not ever. I’ll be here with you, every single step of the way”. Those words hit you right in the feels as teardrops started to run down your face. You tried to pull her closer with the little power you have in your hand which Alex was still hanging on to. Luckily she understood the hint and moves closer while she cups your face with both her hands. Brushing her thumbs across your cheeks mildly, wiping the tears away. Bringing her lips to yours, kissing you, slow and passionate, as if she thought this would have never, ever been possible again. You taste the saltiness on her lips, since Alex wasn’t able to hold her tears back any longer. By that time the doctor had left to give you a moment alone and to let it all sink in. However, with impeccable timing Kara barged in and rushed towards you, seeing that you’ve woken up. You and Alex being kinda busy, in a legit emotional sentiment, while Kara swoopes in, now at the other side of the bed. She squeezes herself in between Alex and you to make room and gives you a hug.

“Can’t breathe”, you moan, because Kara her hug is obviously too tight, and not to mention the weakened condition you’re in. 

“Oh, sorry! I’m just so glad you’re awake”, she apologizes as she quickly pulled back. Kara straightens her glasses and immediately starts to talk, telling you stories about her Supergirl adventures with Dreamer, who you’ve apparently met before, reporter news, how matters at the DEO progressed, about J’onn and his PI office, and many more. It hurts, cause these are all moments you missed out on. Although you love the distraction, not having to think about the obstacles you’ll need to face, and it’s nice to know that everybody is doing well. Being hesitant at first, and undeniably a little pissed at Kara for ruining the moment back there, Alex joins the story telling later on, seeing you enjoy hearing them. After a while she notices you’re getting tired, knowing Kara can be rather overwhelming. “I think (Y/N) needs to rest for a bit”, she mentions and raised her eyebrows as she’s looking at Kara with a piercing gaze. “Eh, yes. Um- I’ll go. See you later (Y/N)! I’ll tell the others you’re awake!”, Kara responds while leaving the hospital room in a rush. “Bye Kara”, you deliver too late, cause she’s already gone, and you turn to Alex. “Something wrong?”. You’ve sensed a weird vibe hanging around the entire time since you’ve woken up. You can clearly see it in Alex her dazzling, brown eyes. It’s guilt. Alex takes a step back from the bed, thereby letting go of your hand, instantly losing her warm touch. She stays quiet, avoiding eye contact as she’s gazing out the window while biting her lip nervously. “Alex, is it about the phone-”.

“It’s all my fault that this happened. I’m the reason you left the apartment and I-I didn’t pick up the phone and I was too late at the hospital and I said those mean, awful words and I-”. “STOP”, you interrupt, now coughing due to the loud voice you had to use, heart rate spiking which is displayed on the monitor.

“It was my mess that caused this. And that asshole of a DEO Agent of course…”, you mutter. You really hate that guy. "I picked that fight and- Wait... what mean, awful words did you say about me?”.

“Ow, um- no, I said some, like, awful things inside my head. Which I deeply regret now-”, Alex confesses while rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. “It’s okay”, you chuckle, she's just too good for this world and you probably deserved it anyway. “It’s all good”.

“I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to you”. Alex takes a step closer again and pauses. “I thought that ...I was never going to see you again. To speak to you again. To hold you again…. To kiss you again”, she whispers with a quivering voice. “But I’m still here. And you're here. With me. That’s all that matters now”. Meanwhile, you carefully shifted to the left side of the bed, creating some room on the small mattress. Glancing at Alex and making an inviting gesture while tapping on the empty spot with your right hand. You feel her warm body moving closer as she comes lying next to you. Her head resting on your chest and you wrap your free arm around her, wanting to hold her forever and to never let her go. "I've missed you", Alex voices in a softhearted tone and closes her eyes. She’s extremely tired, now finally able to get some well-deserved rest, knowing you’re all right and that everything will be fine.   

“What happened to that DEO Agent anyway?”, you suddenly remember. Kinda hoping he got punished for what he did. “He got arrested for assault and is locked up”, Alex answers directly, her eyes still closed. “Good, he got what he deserved”. It’s quiet again, aside from the occasional sound made by the medical equipment in the room. Breathing frequency becoming slower and slower, relaxing in your arms, dozing off, almost asle-

“Did you guys have game nights without me by the way?”. “Come on (Y/N), you need to sleep”, Alex suggests as she lifted her head up, now staring at you with a commanding expression on her face.

“Copy that, Director Danvers”, you return with a smirk, kinda loving the bossy side of her. She’s right though, you’re completely worn-out and need to recharge. But you can’t help it, wanting to cherish this moment for as long as possible. You grip her tighter, or at least try to, to keep her close, to feel her touch, her warmth, her heartbeat. It doesn’t take long for you both to fall asleep. It’s peaceful and despite the delay, you’re together, at last.

///

A sudden slip to the right, followed by mean right hook. The muscles in your arms and shoulders are burning. Completely out of breath, deeply inhaling to fill your lungs with oxygen. And exhale again. Sweat is coating your forehead and you wipe it off with your arm. You’re a total mess. Only one round to go and then you’ve reached the goal. Throwing a sprint of punches, as fast as you can, it’s mind over matter now. Stopping at the sound of the timer reaching zero, you’re finished. Removing the boxing gloves to grab a towel from the floor nearby to clean yourself up.

“Okay, that’s enough for today”, you pant, weary from the intense workout on the heavy bag. It's been a rough couple of months, you've had extensive rehabilitation training, needed time to heal and were not spared of the pain that came along with it. Giving up was never an option, but becoming your old self again is highly unlikely. The damage has been done, you can't change the past anymore. But you've made peace with it, well, sort of. Luckily you've had tons of support. Friends visiting at the hospital and swinging by your place frequently once you were discharged. It feels so good to be home again. 

While unwrapping your hands, you hear the doorbell of the apartment buzz. Looking up in surprise, who could that be? You rush to the door while throwing the boxing wraps aside, nearly tripped over them, and unlock it. Standing in the doorway, you feel your heart rate rising again, now for a different reason. Still happens every damn time. A satisfying smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth.    

“Hi, forgot the keys again?”, you laugh, lifting up your eyebrow as you smoothly lean against the door frame. “Yeah... but I brought some take-out with me”, Alex counters, pulling up her right arm to show off the bag which carries a delicious scent with it. It would be outrageous to deny this offer of course.   

“Permission hereby granted”, making a humble bow and a gesture with your arm to invite her in. “Also cause I’m literally starving”. Rubbing your stomach with your hands, only being a little dramatic, and you close the door behind you. "Easy (Y/N), you're not turning into Kara are you?".

“Ha. Ha, funny", you sarcastically return."But I’m gonna take a quick shower first. Don’t you dare eat it all Danvers”. Alex placed the food on the kitchen counter and shrugs her shoulders while raising her eyebrows.

“Well, I don’t know, I guess I need something in return then”.

"You sure? You don't want me to shower first?", you assure, still being kinda sweaty with a specific smell that goes with it. Alex walks to you and throws herself into your arms while you place your hands on her hips, her arms resting on your shoulders. "Absolutely sure". Pulling Alex closer and wrapping your arms around her waist as you press your lips onto hers, giving her a desirous kiss. You have to admit, the years of denying and avoiding your feelings for Alex makes you feel utterly stupid, looking back now. Seriously, you were an idiot. A wide smile appears while kissing Alex, because you've never been happier.  

"I love you (Y/N)", Alex softly speaks after she pulled back. "I love you too Alex". Her forehead is resting against yours. "And I'll never stop, as long as I’m still breathing”.    

[benhardyisdaddy]

Howl - Part 4

MASTERLIST 

(hope this doesnt seem boring to u guys, but its about to get good so like im excited??? also this pic reminds me of a moody cute boyfriend vibe so i used it lol anyways ily all and i hope u like it BYEEE)

Word Count: 2,053

Bright lights. Loud voices. A man yelling. You slowly blink a few times and adjust your eyes to your surroundings. You look around and focus your eyes on the tiny white room around you. You’re hooked up to an IV as you lie on a hospital bed. Well that was a clear sign of where you are at the moment. You attempt to sit up and a slight pain from your leg shoots up. You hiss and lean back instantly. A nurse rushes into your room and hurries to you. She smiles and messes with something on your IV.

“Miss y/l/n, do you know where you are?” she asks slowly. You instantly nod to her.

“I’m in the hospital.” you whisper, having to clear your throat. The nurse smiles and nods.

“Perfect! And do you know what happened to you?” she asks again, grabbing a clipboard near the end of your bed on a tiny table. The memories of what had happened floods your mind. Something had slammed into the back of your car. You were in shock as you got out. You remember looking down at your leg and seeing a huge piece of glass sticking out. Then you remember seeing black.

“Yes, the accident. The glass in my leg.” you say, moving your leg just a bit. You feel pain again, but not as bad.The nurse writes something down as she walks closer to you.

“Yes, you were in an accident. And as for the glass, it missed your major artery by just an inch. You’re very lucky to be alive. You just needed a few stitches and it’s all wrapped up now. The hospital will provide you with the crutches.” she says. You look up and frown.

“I’ll need crutches?” you ask, bummed. She sweetly smiles and nods.

“Unless if you want to be in pain every time you take a step.” Your frown drops and you smile back as you shake your head no. She smiles and nods. “The doctor will be in here very shortly to talk to you. All your tests came back fine, so you shouldn’t be here any much longer.” she says. As she goes to reach for the handle, there’s a loud knock at the door. She turns to open it up half expecting the doctor, but it’s not. It’s Ben. He looks up and his eyes are instantly on you. He looks nervous and his face is flushed. You sit up straight and are utterly confused.

“Ben?” you ask as he quickly walks in. The nurse watches him for a second, then shuts the door behind her. He walks up and half smiles, looking you up and down.

“Are you alright?” he asks fast. You raise a brow and lift the covers off of your legs, revealing the large gauze wrapped around your thigh. A tiny bit of blood is stained over where you assume your stitches are. He tenses his jaw and looks up to you.

“Why are you even here?” you ask, still not understanding. “I’d expect Joe or Gwil to be here, not… You. And what happened to your arm?” you ask. He had his arm hung in a sling. He looks down quickly and shrugs.

“Touch football. Rami got a little too handsy. Messed up my shoulder.” he says, staring down at his arm still. He looks back up and shakes his head. “But that doesn’t matter. Are you okay? What did the nurse say?”

“She said my tests came back fine. I had a piece of glass in my leg that apparently barely missed an artery. I’m lucky to be alive.” you say, smiling to yourself. Ben tenses his jaw and looks back down to your leg.

“That stupid fucking truck driver.” he whispers to himself. You look up and cock your head at him.

“What? How did you know it was a truck driver? And how did you know I was even here?” you ask. He looks up fast and his eyes slightly open wide. He clears his throat and shrugs once more.

“Oh, um, the nurse had told me what happened. The truck driver slammed into the back of your car. Right? Did they not tell you?” he asks. You shake your head no and attempt to sit up more.

“No. They hadn’t told me any of that yet and you still haven’t answered my question.” you say, squinting your eyes. He looks to you and sniffles.

“Joe got a call from here, but he couldn’t be here fast enough, so he, uh, you know, called me.” he says, shifting his feet.

“Is Joe going to be here?” you ask. Ben nods and pulls up a chair to place it next to your bed.

“He’s on his way.” he says as he sits down and stares at you. You look away and play with the hem on your hospital gown. Your head starts to suddenly swarm and a feeling of loopiness comes over you. You close your eyes and lean your head back. You felt almost high.

“I feel… Weird.” you say, half giggling to yourself. Ben watches and looks up to your IV bag. He laughs.

“Probably because they’re giving you a high fun dose of morphine. Probably for your leg pain.” You lean your head up and look at him.

“I’m on morphine?” you ask, now frowning. “I’ve never been on morphine in my life.” Ben watches you and smiles.

“First time for everything, right?” he asks, winking. You catch yourself giggling again and lay your head back once more. You allow the lightheadedness to over take you as you just listen to the sounds all around you. And one of those sounds being a man in another room yelling about something you couldn't quite make out. You tried listening, but failed. You felt Ben’s eyes staring at you, but you didn’t dare look up. It felt like forever when your eyes were closed. Finally there was another knock at your door and it was suddenly opening up, giving you no time to object. In walks Joe as he looks around nervously. He spots you and rushes over. He pats Ben on the shoulder as he gently leans down to hug you.

“Oh my god.” he whispers. “I got a call that you were in an accident and I just started panicking. I’m so happy you’re okay.” he says, cupping your face. He kisses you on the forehead and steps back just as your door slowly opens up once more.

“Knock knock.” says a man as as he walks in. He has on a white coat and you instantly know he must be your doctor. You smile and feel your head swarm.

“So, how are we feeling?” he asks. Ben looks to you and laughs.

“High.” he says, watching as you have trouble holding your head up. The doctor laughs as he walks over to your IV machine. He adjusts the buttons and walks away.

“There,” he says. “I think that’ll do. The pain still bothering you?” he asks slowly. You shake your head no. “Alright, good. So, I went over your tests again and everything is still clear. All we’re worried about at this point is the wound on your leg. You know, infection and such. It’s cleaned out and stitched, so just watch it in case if it starts turning an angry red or pussing. If you notice any of that, you need to come back here ASAP, okay?” he asks.

“Okay.” says Joe, answering for you. You look up to him and lazily smile. The doctor walks over to a tiny closet in the room and types in a code on the door. It opens up and he grabs out a pair of crutches. He leans them against your bed and grabs another clipboard beside you.

“I just need you to sign right here and you’re officially all set to leave.” You grab the pen and quickly scribble your name, ignoring the horrible attempt. The doctor hands you a pain prescription for your leg. “Check in with your primary doctor in about a week and a half, okay? They’ll be able to release you from the crutches. Just remember, if it starts looking bad, don’t hesitate to come it. Got it?” he asks, smiling. You smile back and nod your head. The doctor slips out of the room as Joe helps you stand up. Ben walks around and gathers your clothes. You sit on the edge of the bed as he hands them to you.

“I need to get dressed.” you slur. Joe quickly looks to Ben as he slightly nods his head, now knowing what to do.

“Here,” says Ben, holding up the bed sheet. “I’ll block while you hand her what she needs.” Joe nods as he quickly helps you untie your gown and walks away. You’re covered up as you slip it off and hurriedly put on your shirt. The hospital had provided you with baggy, hospital pants so they don’t rub on your wound. You lean down and slide the pants over your legs and hike them up. You look up and Ben’s eyes are glued to yours. Something about the way he stares at you gives you this deep dark feeling in your stomach. You swallow hard and quickly look to Joe. He looks from Ben to you and smiles.

“Okay, I’m done.” you say. Ben tosses the blanket to the side as Joe slips on your shoes. He reaches over and grabs your crutches for you. You hold onto them as you stand up, a dull pain in your leg. You wince a bit as you place them under your arms. You lean forward and take a step. Your legs go wobbly as you fall down, but not before Ben swoops in and catches you. His arm is sternly behind your back as you hold onto his neck. You look up to him as you gasp.

“You okay?” he asks quietly. You can’t speak so all you do is nod yes. He helps you back to your feet as Joe hands you back your crutches.

“How about we get you a wheelchair?” he asks, watching you all worried. He was definitely like your older protective brother. You shake your head no quickly and place them back under your arms.

“No, no I got this. I’m fine.” You attempt to walk once more and it comes more naturally this time. You walk towards and out the door. You slowly pass by a room as Ben stands close to you, fearing that you might fall again. You’re looking forward as an older man begins to shout at you.

“You!” he yells, standing up from his bed, pointing. He’s short and has a trucker hat on, his eyes are wide. You look over as Ben stands in front of you protectively. He stands up tall and gives the man a threatening eye.

“They think I hit you! I didn’t! Didn’t you see it? The giant thing that slammed into you!? It wasn’t me! I was on the other side! It pushed you out of my way! That creature! Didn’t you see it!?” he yells at you with pleading eyes. You stare at him wide eyed and don’t know what he’s talking about. You shake your head, not knowing what to say.

“You need to step away from her.” says Ben as he places his hand on the man’s chest, not allowing him to come any closer. The guy doesn’t seem to care, he’s too focused on you.

“It was a monster that hit you! They think I’m crazy! Look at my semi! There’s no mark! I didn’t hit you! It did! I saw it!” he continues shouting as a few police officers rush in. They order him to sit down, but he just needs to tell you what happened. He continues yelling as Joe places his hand on your lower back, motioning you to continue walking. You couldn’t look away from this man as he called out for you. There was something in his eyes that made you confused. He keeps yelling that he didn’t hit you and something deep inside of you tells you that he’s telling the truth. And you almost believe him.

Tag List: @loudxxstar @iambuckyrogers @peter-parkersbb @seven-seas-of-hi @ramimalekrp-roleplayerpage@mautand @rogertayolr @mothermercuryy @basics-andthesimplelife @caterinaborgia@discodeakyjazzyjoe @bethany-cc @onexlittlespark @ohmystaxk @secretsweetscollectionblog @that-fandom-sucks-tho @thewinchesterchronicles@iambuckyrogers @idontbelievethiss 

[famedroleplayarchive]

YOO RIOH is the MAKNAE, LEAD VOCAL, AND LEAD DANCER of VIVE under GOLD STAR MEDIA. He was born on FEBRUARY 25, 2002. He looks a little like YANG JEONGIN (I.N) OF STRAY KIDS.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: Yang Jeongin (I.N), member of Stray Kids

legal name: Yoo Rioh

stage name: ///

pronouns: He / him / his

birth date: Feb 26, 2002

hometown: Seoul, KR

position: Maknae, lead vocal, lead dancer of Vive

claims: ///

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: ///

( YOO RIOH’s LIFE IN VIGNETTES // FROM 2002 → PRESENT )

SCENE I. SEOUL, KR — 2009, Q2. ON-SET, PHOTOSHOOT.

“Yes! You’re doing so good, baby!” His mother encourages from off-set, the harsh, warm light beaming over at him so strong that he’s not able to open his eyes properly. The photographer pauses, readjusts, and continues shooting—the pint-sized “model” for the day doing his best to smile wide and act “cute,” just like he’s practiced in the mirror at home. Honestly, he’s not really sure why he’s here, nor does he know what he’s getting involved in, but it’s easy enough that his family frames it as a fun extracurricular activity… even if he finds himself getting distracted from time-to-time. After all, he’s only here because he was “discovered” in a shopping mall, and when the subject of payment was mentioned, mom and dad became increasingly interested.

Living off of lower salaries made them desperate for more cash, even if it meant utilizing their son’s adorable appearance to their benefit. Luckily though, they love him all the same; their greed has never swallowed them up whole—thank goodness!

Teeny-tiny hands are grasping at the bottom of his shirt; playing with the hemline to self-soothe himself from the constant flashing lights and loud voices all around him. When it’s time for a break, he’s taken aside in order to indulge himself in some sweet treats and beverages—which, to be honest, has been his favorite part of this whole experience.

“Mama, will I get to have cookies and cake every time I get my pictures taken?!” He asked, his mouth and cheeks covered in strawberries and chocolate. His mother laughs, wiping his face. “If you do a good job, of course! Just try not to eat so sloppily, love. You don’t wanna be dirty for the camera, do you?” With that, he shook his head; perfectly willing to obey his mom. Rioh’s always been an easygoing child like that.

When he finished his snack, he was immediately put back to work; changing his outfit and hairstyle for the next few frames, then repeating the process until all was said and done.

Little did he know then that this would slowly, but surely, envelope his entire life for awhile. That, and well, he’ll now forever begin to expect getting rewards for accomplishing small tasks.

SCENE II. SEOUL, KR — 2012, Q1. THE YOO RESIDENCE.

“Hello, Mrs. Yeo? Hi, yes, I’m glad you answered! This is Kang Hyojung. I was who spoke to you a few days ago about representing a company that’s interested in training your son.” She recalls it, but also remembers being suspicious of the offer at the time. This supposed “casting agent” wasn’t exactly eager to share what company they were working for, so all in all, it felt like a total scam. Though, after a somewhat long conversation on the phone, she agreed to meet up with them and the whole casting committee at an address she didn’t at all recognize. Fortunately, it was in Gangnam, so felt a little more promising. When the call ended, she immediately went over to Rioh’s bedroom and knocked on the door; allowing herself in after a few seconds.

“Do you remember that lady who talked to us at the restaurant?” She asked, slightly shocked as to how her child kept getting this recognition. It isn’t like she and her husband were putting him on display by taking him to auditions or casting calls. Sure, he’s taken part in a few small-scale commercials and photo-spreads—mostly in catalogues—but after awhile, he stopped focusing on shoots in exchange for going to school and making friends. He doesn’t truly realize that he’s been “marketable” since birth, and while he’s lucky to possess such a rare quality, it’s one he’s not very comfortable with—even at just ten years-old.

At the question, he nods his head; unsure of what’s about to be said next.

“Well, she called us like she said she would and she wants to meet with you on Saturday. Is that something that you’d want to do? I told her we’d go, but if you don’t want to, I can call back and tell her never-mind.”

What’s sad is, even at such a young age, he knows the situation that his family’s in. Mom’s a waitress, dad’s a butler at a wealthier person’s estate, and most of the time, he doesn’t see him often. Neither of them pull in enough cash to support their lifestyle, especially since Rioh’s the youngest child out of five children. Putting enough food on the table has never been an easy feat for the Yoo household. So, even though he’s not exactly invested in continuing his ever-blossoming career as a child model, he knows it could help his parents out.

Even though he’s the youngest, he still feels the need to contribute.

“Yeah, I’ll go! Hopefully it’s somewhere cool and not something weird,” he added simply; his tone drenched in optimism despite his mind not being on the same page.

SCENE III. SEOUL, KR — 2014, Q3. BC ENTERTAINMENT HQ.

He watches with wide eyes as some of the older trainees practice; the fierce gaze in their eyes containing a fire that he’s never felt before. The way they move is so striking and strong, and it isn’t only impressive that they’ve been able to work hard to hone their skills, but he can’t help but find himself as feeling almost… “attracted” to them without realizing it. Not only is he drawn to the art of their dancing and singing, but also, to how all of them look, as well.

It’s a confusing feeling to him… especially since he’s always been told he’d feel this way about girls as he gets older.

However, when the others slowly begin to leave the rehearsal space, he enters; awaiting for his acting instructor and the few other kids in his division to show up. It’s then when he finds the strength to bravely approach the last of the idol hopefuls still in the room; his shyness slowly creeping over him despite the complete want to speak to him. After a few seconds, though, he’s able to piece together a sentence that’s coherent enough to make sense. He hopes so, at least.

“Hey! Uh, you look really cool when you dance.” He starts, very obviously a little nervous. “How do you do that one move in the middle of the song? The one where you’re kinda jumpin’ but like spinnin’ at the same time?” It’s then when he attempts it and near about falls, but luckily, he’s able to just barely save himself from tumbling over. His face burns red with a blush, but his senior seems to find it endearing rather than annoying.

“Want me to show you?”

Without hesitation, Rioh nods his head; excited enough that his whole body starts to bounce beyond his control. Even though he was approaching adolescence, there was still a glimmer of youthful innocence in his eyes—one that he’d—amazingly—be able to clutch onto even as he ages. It’s that vibe alone that’s carried him this far, even if he doesn’t understand it fully yet.

Carefully, he watches how the dramatically taller male performs the motions, listening intently to his instructions all the while. After a few terrible attempts of his own, he finally does it… mostly. It’s a feeling of accomplishment that he’s not felt while studying acting for dramas and modeling for cameras, and when this mini dance lesson passes him by, he can’t help but feel a bit sad.

The disappointment only continues when his instructor arrives and hands him a script. A deep sigh follows suit, but he does what he’s told… just like he always does.

SCENE IV. SEOUL, KR — 2019, Q4. MOM’s CAR, BCE HQ.

A few notes from the last few years.

Rioh was too young for CHARM when they debuted in 2015.

He eventually transferred to idol training at the age of thirteen.

There, he discovered a true passion for singing and dancing.

He worked so fucking hard; he almost had no social life.

Hard work and passion wouldn’t pay off like he thought they would.

“It’s not an easy decision, but we’ve decided to put our focus into a new girl group, and instead of keeping you in our company, we would rather you try out for other agencies who are actively looking to create a boy group.” Their voice was warm, but that didn’t mean the letdown was any easier to process. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of chills race through him; his eyes swelling with tears as his heart pounded a mile a millisecond. It was clear that he was emotional, but he stood up to bow instead; nodding his head as he suppressed his emotions. That said, they all rained down on him the instant he got back into his mother’s car.

“What’s wrong? What happened?!” She was shocked, but when the situation was explained, she understood a little better; undoing her seatbelt so she could lean over to hold him easier.

“Sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some, but what’s important is that you don’t stop fighting for it—especially if it’s something that you really, really want.”

“B-But, what about you and dad? What’re you gonna do now that you can’t work anymore? I want to help, but now it feels like I can’t do anything…”

His words took her aback. She hadn’t realized that her children knew so much about the stress she’s been under lately. Due to an injury, she had to stop waiting tables, and sadly, she’s found it hard to find another job. Laughing softly, she shook her head back and forth; squeezing onto his shoulders a little firmer. “Yes, I’ve been stressed… and yes, I’ve been worried about finding something new to do, but listen to me: you don’t have to worry about me, okay? I promise that I have things together, and I promise that I’ll be fine.” Her words were matter-of-fact, and though he heard them loud and clear, they didn’t quite sink in. Though, they were enough to calm him down momentarily. At the end of the day, he was still disappointed—even if it was mostly in himself.

“I love you, mom… I promise I’ll try harder.”

SCENE V. SEOUL, KR — 2020, Q4. UNDISCLOSED STUDIO.

“Is it just me or is Yoo Rioh really fucking obnoxious?” “Ugh, he always pushes his way to the front and center…” “In my opinion, Rioh doesn’t even compete with many of us.” “I feel like people only like him because he’s handsome.”

He couldn’t hear them all of the time, but he somehow had a hunch that many of the other trainees didn’t like him. Did he sometimes read as desperate for attention? Yes. Did he have little tantrums off-screen if he wasn’t getting enough camera time? One hundred percent. The viewers and some of the producers never saw it, but his fellow competitors witnessed it full force. All of them were in the same boat, and the tension was high, so it was only natural that there would be stupid disagreements, petty anger, and unnecessary drama. How unfortunate.

There’s no excuse for his immature behavior, but he’d argue that his passion is just… stronger than the others. He’s been training for a whopping eight years and he’s only eighteen years old. That’s nearly half of his life. To him, there’s almost no comparison between he and the others. Many of them were older than him, but he’d still consider himself their sunbae. So, he had no idea why he wasn’t being respected for his hard work and talent. His childish ways didn’t make things any better, though, so he wasn’t totally blameless. That, and well, a lot of the chatter that was being thrown around about him was fairly accurate. Again, how fucking unfortunate.

The upside to all of this? The general public that tuned in seemed to fall head over heels in love with him. Whenever he was brave (and lucky) enough to read online comments during filming, he found that many of them were positive. Lots of viewers said he gave off mischievous “little brother” vibes and many claimed that he’d be the perfect maknae if he was in the top five.

At this point, he decided to put more of his focus on appeasing his future fans, so no matter how competitive and annoying he was on the show, he was focused so much on winning that he stopped caring entirely how the others treated him. He made a few friends—some of them he’d later debut with—and he wasn’t particularly hated by all forty-nine other guys, but his thirst for notoriety was truly off-putting to a lot of people. So, when he ended the competition with a metaphoric silver medal in second place, there were plenty of eye-rolls and scoffs to go around.

He tried his best not to let everyone else rain on his parade, though.

SCENE VI. SEOUL, KR — 2021, Q1. GOLD STAR MEDIA HQ.

He reads over his contracts with a lawyer that his father’s employer recommended, making sure that he wasn’t signing onto anything that would negatively compromise him in anyway. As far as he was aware, things looked good enough for him to sign his name on the dotted line, so when the time came, he did just that—overjoyed that his time spent training was finally rewarded with a little recognition.

Took long enough.

“Guys… we’re finally getting everything we ever wanted!” He speaks aloud to his members, the smile on his face genuine. “Like, can you believe that we’re actually gonna be the next big thing?!” His giddiness was infectious, but also a lot to handle. He can’t help it—he’s pumped.

Rioh just hopes his assumptions don’t bite him in the ass, though. The last thing he needs is to jinx the golden opportunity that’s been bestowed upon him by making hasty predictions.

In the end though, his marketability is largely what he got him where he is today. While he can keep up with his seniors as far as singing and dancing are concerned, he still has a long way to go if he plans on being as successful as some of his company’s other artists. He’s young, he’s dumb, but he’s learning—that’s gotta count for something, right?

His career is just beginning, though, so let’s hope he’s able to make it work.

[rqs902]

.

LOL xiao zhi asking if he can pull up a chair bc its hard to bend to write on the lower part of the chalkboard bc hes a 老年人 HAHAHAHA SUCH DAD BUT I FEEL YOU BRO

omg i didnt realize all 4 of them really want qiang ge so badly, like they each FILLED that chalkboard with words of encouragement and love and support omg 

the more i watch this, the more i understand why tencent was willing to give them so much time to form their next groups. these kids are REALLY done. and tencent doesnt want them to leave either, so the only thing they can do is hope that somehow the other kids can talk them into staying, bc otherwise they really will leave. 

hmm so ive been wrong about qiang ge, or maybe he’s changed over time. i thought he was more afraid that people wouldnt want the suo na but when zy started talking about qiang ge may be afraid that people want the suo na but he himself doubts his own abilities, doubts that people see him for being talented as a person, not just as a unique instrument, to see qiang ge whisper "對" and “你說的真的太準了" oof. that feeling of when you’re going through internal turmoil and self-doubt and you feel lost, but someone straight up sees through you and speaks your mind for you, that must hit hard. 

LOL “youzi is someone who talks a lot” but he can still hit you right on the 點子 :’) and its true that zhang yang must have thought about it a lot to truly understand qiang ge’s point of view. such high eq in this group :’) 

if this isnt the cutest thing

i love them 

hahahahahahahha im glad they were all on the same page of wanting qiang ge tho, since that wasnt the case for them last time. it is sad that qiang ge goes through this every round tho, always a spiral of self-doubt and uncertainty and people have to work so hard to convince him that he’s wanted. 

at least xiao zhi finally got another(?) popular contestant on his team hahahahhaha

its kinda nice how zy can relate to and wishes the best for ljt to be able to convince muji to stay too. 

aw it seems like muji went through a lot too (we dont get to see as much?) but then im glad he asked his teachers for advice and they told him to stay. 

hm well kinda weird that we just never see the rest of the kids, or even get to see them feel sad about being eliminated. 

mmmmm i think its nice that zhao ke put 熱帶低壓 into his lyrics, its part of him, his story. interesting that hyt phrases it like tencent was trying to force them to perform an old song but they refused. "你們好好活著不行嗎?" seems like it was a harsh way to try to convince them to rest, but hyt is the type to stand his ground 

personally i didnt think the song’s repetitiveness was appealing to me, but its nice to see that zhao ke has fit himself in, and im surprised but not surprised hes like their new centerpiece, rather than xiao xiong. his personality is stronger 

mmm in contrast, ill summarize the next perf in a few words: i love fruit planet

they’re so fun!! i couldnt stop smiling watching them perform. i love how much fun they had grooving on stage and it was such a simple sounding but fun song. the lyrics are also perfect and i love how they contain hidden messages. like the shout out to nana :’) but i can totally see qiang ge being a lychee!! zhang yang is really a pro at assigning fruits to people. i think he was saying his reasoning was bc lychees are hard to grow and qiang ge has been through a lot, but my take on it is that qiang ge appears rough on the outside but hes a softie inside, and at his core, he has a strong heart and will

yrz has really grown on me! his voice is nice and fits the song well (i do like how they each got to sing their own parts tho hehe) and his silly dancing around the stage really set a chill vibe even tho nana says he gets nervous easily. 

ofc xiao zhi looked like he was having the time of his life but i do really respect how he is able to create such a fun team atmosphere as a leader. I also respect qiang ge for picking up a new instrument and wanting to show off a different side to himself. i actually think he made the right choice to fit this song, and to show that he can play other instruments and he isnt bound to the suo na. 

on the flipside wu xing’s group’s song sounded a bit off to me. maybe its what the judges were talking about, with the mixing and the balance, but i just felt like the cello and bass coordination could’ve been better and i felt like they could’ve played more long tones to highlight the richness of their instruments’ sound. it felt kinda choppy to me, but i can see why the 5 of them have come together. this grouping seems like they fit well. fsc just looks so smol hahahahhaha but his instrument is so large lol 

im so glad that muji is able to kick their group into shape!!!!! hes the type of no nonsense person that they need, with jym and szb lololl but im impressed that they tackled their immaturity head on and made a song that really addresses their own feelings of running away and giving up when things get tough, bc literally jym and szb have done this, muji was about to until they finally reeled him into their group and something tells me ljt is not a stranger to these types of feelings himself. the lyrics seem to really reflect and suit their group. somehow im not surprised that ljt’s lyrics sound the most deep and his song sounds the most complete out of all the groups. im glad muji’s sound is able to mesh well into their group. actually all of the new additions this round have meshed better than i expected.

i know absolutely zero about bonbon girls 303 but i find it cool that the center is half uyghur and it is interesting they have a someone from snh48, someone from gugudan, and someone who is thai. i kinda feel the need to watch their dorm show this ep to see how the kids interact with them LOL

[themrsdiaries]

Milan’s Birth Story

A week ago I went into labor and had a baby completely unmediated and if you asked me two weeks ago if that was the plan I would have laughed at you, like big, howling laugh! “Give me the drugs” was basically the first thing I told my nurse with Zara but with Milan’s birth, I didn’t even have time for an IV! If you’re a birth story lover and enjoy scouring the web for fun stories like I do, keep on reading!

I woke up last Saturday morning, April 25, at 4am feeling veryyy minor contractions that could have easily been dismissed as Braxton Hicks, which should have been my first clue because I never got any Braxton Hicks with either pregnancy, but I thought maybe this time around it would be different. They came every hour but weren’t painful enough to stop me from going about my day. I got ready, attended a Zoom meeting with my Lead Pastor and other staff wives and simply said “I’m getting some baby vibes so it could be soon but nothing crazy right now...” little did I know she would be in my arms a few hours later. I put Zara down for her nap at about 1pm and decided to go lay down to see if the contractions would stop. They didn’t but they still weren’t that painful. Disclaimer: I like to labor at home as much as I can cause the thought of going in and realizing I was at a 2 or not far enough along for them to admit me just doesn’t sound fun so basically my philosophy is stay home until I can’t stand the pain anymore and then go to the hospital...jokes on me this time! While laying down I began realizing that the contractions were steadily picking up in pressure and coming more often. I Facetime’d my mom and told her what was going on but I STILL didn’t think this was it. By about 3pm, I could tell things were progressing and told Tim we should just go in to have them see how things were progressing so I could get some clarity. Disclaimer Pt 2: I opted not to have my OBGYN check me at prior appointments because it’s not the most pleasant experience and I’d just rather not know. Unless there is a medical reason as to why they need to check, I opt out and like being just as surprised as everyone else. The contractions at this point are steadily increasing and I was beginning to get emotional because I knew I had to go but also knew Zara was sleeping and I was devastated thinking about leaving without saying goodbye. I Facetime’d my mom AGAIN who convinced me to wake her up to say goodbye and to tell her that I was going to see how sissy was doing. So back upstairs I went at 4:08pm to say I love you, I’ll see you soon and to let her know I’ll probably have sissy with me when I come back. It was a moment I’ll never forget. No one prepares you for the feeling of leaving your one baby up until that point to bring another one into the world and I’m so happy Tim was able to catch this last photo of us.

I got into the car at about 4:25pm after putting some final things in my hospital bag and that’s when things really began to pick up. Looking back I think having said goodbye to Zara gave my body the permission it needed mentally to give birth. It’s super weird to explain but in the car was when things REALLY picked up. I was in the front seat and literally could not sit. I was facing the back of the car bear hugging the front seat with all of my strength during the contractions. I had Tim put on “Man Of Your Word” by Maverick City Music and endured the 20 min car ride. I knew things were happening and knew they were happening fast...and Tim drove literally the opposite of that hitting EVERY. SINGLE. RED. LIGHT. It got to the point where I told him he had to run every single one or I would be having the baby in the car. He didn’t listen to me and would patiently wait at each one as I secretly plotted his murder. He would keep telling me “5 more minutes, 3 more minutes” based off of the GPS and looking back I think that helped me get through. We pulled up at 4:45pm and I told him to run and get somebody. There was no way I was walking in with the pain I was having. Nurses came running out with a wheelchair and I told them there was no way I could sit at this point so I powered through one more contraction and walked to triage where things REALLY, REALLY picked up. In the room, I felt my body needing to push and before I even had the chance to undress my water broke right then and there. I was sweating profusely and I knew it was go-time. Tim wasn’t allowed in at this point so he went to park the car. I was in agony and gave the nurse absolutely no chance of seeing how far along I was. I was in pain and I needed drugs. I was quite literally begging for them. I was not prepared to push a baby out unmedicated but once my water broke I knew there was going to be no other option. She finally checked me and immediately walkied for everyone possible to get me on a stretcher and the room ready. I could tell she knew this baby was coming fast and all the while Tim was still standing outside. A storm of nurses came in, a doctor I had never met got suited up and I was ready to push. There was no stopping Milan even though I begged multiple times for drugs and each time the nurses told me I was way too late and she would be here in literally 10 minutes. I had to power through. I pushed once and they saw her head. The nurse then had the audacity to ask me what Tim’s number was so she could call him and tell him to come in. In agony I told her his number and she called him to come in immediately. I was literally screaming in pain at this point. There was no “birthing breathing mama goddess” moments at all. It was straight drama every single push. LOL! The nurses and doctors did their best to control my efforts and I finally got into a rhythm that lasted maybe 4 minutes. When contractions came, I would tell them and within 3 pushes, she was here. 29 minutes from arriving at the hospital she arrived at 5:14pm. They finally were able to get an IV into me so I could get morphine and deliver the placenta somewhat peacefully. Tim and I both were in complete shock at how fast it all went down and how beautiful she was! Tim was maybe with me for 10 minutes and luckily didn’t miss it. Milan came earthside completely perfect and healthy and once the morphine hit, I was in a dream world and so, so happy it went by so fast so I could get home even faster.

I requested immediately that they send me home as soon as I could (I hate staying at hospitals!) and they said if all went well with Milan and I, we would be discharged at 5pm the next day. After eating dinner, I was wheeled to our maternity suite and along the way every nurse said “congratulations, but please come in earlier next time” ... LOL! Nurses truly are the heroes of this world! We were able to spend a glorious 24 hours with just Milan and after passing all of her tests, meeting with her pediatrician and requesting to leave probably 17 times LOL, they let us go. I was up and at it probably 2 hours after delivery and was ready to GET OUT. I really like getting home and getting situated, showering in my own shower, and knowing Zara was there made it even more sweeter. I can’t wait to tell Milan her story and if her entry into this world is any indication of the person she will be, she is going to be a force to be reckoned with. So here’s to giving birth with no meds in the midst of a global pandemic ... guess I can check that one off the list!

[briteboy]

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did  :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

[reversingxtime-blog]

Five Times Loved

Send “Five Times ______ed” for a Drabble of 5 different times our characters… did that.

          // @avedonxsque

i. MONEY CAN’T BUY YOU HAPPINESS.

“Uh… Are you sure?” Max peers into the gift bag that, in itself, screams EXPENSIVE. She hadn’t expected Victoria to actually buy her anything, and a part of her is reluctant to accept it. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate the gesture, but how can she accept something so extravagant? She’d probably just ruin it, anyway.“No. I just bought this for you because I wasn’t sure.” The sarcasm is almost enough to make Max cringe and Victoria sighs. There’s a pause that follows, and Victoria is staring at Max expectantly. “Would you just– try it on, Caulfield.”There’s more hesitation before Max finally reaches into the bag, pulling out the soft, royal purple, cashmere cardigan. It’s not really her style, and probably more expensive than everything she has in her closet combined. If anything, this is more Victoria’s style– well, obviously, since she’s the one who bought it, but could Max really pull it off? She wasn’t so sure… ‘Hipster Chic’–if she could even call her wardrobe that–was one thing, but ‘rich girl’? She couldn’t give off that kind of impression even if her life depended on it.She can practically feel Victoria’s stare on her, boring holes into her skin, and it’s enough incentive to prompt her to slip her hoodie off and slowly slip the new garment on. She’s almost scared to look at her reflection then– afraid to see how ridiculous she must look. But, when she finally brings herself to look into the mirror at her reflection, all she can do is stare, taking in her appearance.In all truthfulness, she doesn’t look nearly as bad as she feared. In fact, the cardigan somehow manages to hug her subtle curves in a way that her hoodie never could. She’s pretty sure that it makes her look like a totally different person and she’s awestruck. Maybe she could pull this off after all…Unable to keep a smile from forming on her lips, Max glances over at Victoria, silently awaiting her feedback. When she sees the slowly ebbing smirk that aligns Victoria’s lips, she takes it as a good sign.“Not bad, Caulfield,” she remarks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Now, if we could just change the rest of your wardrobe, you may just be able to pass for someone who actually has fashion sense.”“Hey,” Max is still smiling, but rolls her eyes anyway, “There’s nothing wrong with my clothes!”Still, if Victoria could manage to find her more clothes that would look this good on her, she wouldn’t be opposed to it.Money might not have been able to buy you love or happiness, but it was definitely a start in the right direction.

ii. TENSION.

It was bound to happen sooner or later… After all, happiness couldn’t last forever, right? Things had just been too perfect, and perfect Victoria with her perfect face, and her perfect hair, and her perfect clothes, and her damn near perfect everything, started giving off strange vibes. They were friends now– or at least, Max liked to believe that they were, but once Victoria started acting weird, she called her out on it… And that’s when she realized that it definitely wasn’t the smartest thing she could’ve done.Victoria had her cornered and pinned against the wall, towering above her. Max’s heart leapt to her throat, and between between being frozen in place and paranoid that any girls in their dorm could enter at any moment and catch them in this position, Max’s gaze kept flickering past Victoria’s shoulder and down the dormitory hall.Her mouth felt dry, and she wasn’t sure if she should be scared or not. Victoria’s dark gaze certainly didn’t help her any, and she could only chew the inside of her cheek.“U-uh–” she finally attempts to speak up, her voice cracking, “Look, Victoria, I didn’t mean anything by it, I just–”… No way. No way is Victoria Chase kissing her right now. There’s no way in hell. If you’d asked her just last week if she thought such a thing could ever be possible, she would’ve laughed in your face and told you how absolutely ridiculous such an idea would be. Not that she was opposed to the idea or anything, but it just wasn’t plausible… Well, she’d thought so… until now. Victoria’s lips are warm against her own, and she freezes up for far too long as the dawning realization winds up slapping her straight in the face: She’s about ninety-eight percent sure that she’s falling for Miss Queen Bee, Victoria Chase.

iii. SCAREDY-CAT.

When Max had first suggested the idea of a horror-movie marathon Halloween night, she had no idea that Victoria hated horror films. How could she possibly know when Vic put up such a believable front? In all honesty, she half-expected for Victoria to try to drag her out to one of many Halloween parties–lord knows how the Vortex Club was probably missing their precious queen bee right now–and yet, here they were, curled up on Victoria’s couch and watching a stereotypical 90′s slasher film on her ‘tasty’ plasma screen.A bowl of buttery popcorn sat wedged between them, and Max was so busy shoveling the fatty food into her mouth and so engrossed in what was happening in the movie, she had no idea that Victoria was one jump-scare away from freaking the fuck out, turning the entire movie off, and calling it a night.And sure enough, the girl stupid enough to wander off on her own got attacked, loud, dramatic music flaring up, and making Victoria nearly jump out of her skin. She’d done a good job up to this point disguising her fear– keeping it hidden, but with the popcorn flying off the couch and Max hitting her head on the armrest due to the extra weight of Victoria barreling into her, it was quite obvious to her that Victoria was scared shitless.“Ugh– what the fuck, Victoria?” she groaned, pretty sure that she was seeing stars flashing before her eyes.Vic pauses the movie mid-scream, right before the lone girl is killed, and the stilled image on the TV is only slightly disturbing.“Let’s watch something else,” she suggests, removing herself from Max, and watching the brunette slowly sit back up, before gawking.“What? We can’t do that! It’s just starting to get to the best part!” Max protests, frowning. “I thought you said you liked scary movies.”“I said I could watch them,” Victoria defended, “Not that I like them… And I don’t like this movie.”“Oh yeah, I totally couldn’t tell from the way you nearly killed me just now,” Max scoffs lightly, and rolls her eyes at the way Victoria’s face pinches up at her.“Okay, fine. What do you wanna watch?” she asks, watching as Victoria gets up and moves over to sift through her various DVDs.As ridiculous as it might’ve been for Victoria to torture herself by trying to sit through all of that, Max also couldn’t help but find it just the tiniest bit endearing and it just made her love her more.

iv. SLEEPOVERS IN MY BED.

They sometimes sneak into each others dorms and sleep next to each other. It was a surprise the first couple of times when Max would be stirred awake by Victoria sneaking into her room and crawling into bed with her, but after a while, she eventually got into the habit as well.It was always nice to cuddle, and the added warmth on cold autumn nights was never not appreciated. Besides, Victoria always looked adorable when she was sleeping and it was a softer, more innocent side of her that Max didn’t think she’d ever seen before.In a way, it brought them closer together, and Max might even dare to say that it strengthened their relationship. And even though she’d lost count of all the mornings she’d wake up shivering because Victoria was hogging all the blankets, she knew she still loved their moments like this.

v. “I LOVE YOU.”

The first time this word is said, it’s first moaned, and later stuttered out in a whisper. Max says it first, and she doesn’t expect Victoria to say it back, nor is she surprised when Victoria asks her if she meant it. It’s just something that slipped out during the spur of the moment, but Max has no doubts that she truly meant it.They’re laying there, curled together in their aftermath of… rumpus, when it’s brought up. Max’s cheeks are burning all over again, but she can’t seem to tear her eyes away from Victoria’s. Lots of people say they love someone in moments like those, the words only holding little to no meaning, so she couldn’t blame Victoria for asking if she meant it.“I meant it,” Max whispers in confirmation, “I love you, Vic.” It’s something that’s undeniable now. It’s something she’s questioned for a while, and even after coming to the realization that she was totally in love with Victoria Chase of all people, she kept it to herself until now.

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 9

THE 25/10/16 UPDATE

WOW, third update in one day? I must be extremely bored or something. Anyways, I think we’re just gonna start this up without the big fucking intro part. Lets just. do this.

Come on you gay fucks, make up and KISS.

G U Y S. Also Jake, look at Dirks face not his ass.

OH man Jake looks sad and awkward.

DIRK: (Son of a fuck.) DIRK: (That was you trying to get me to leave you alone, wasn’t it?) JAKE: (I... well.) DIRK: (It’s fine. I get it, finally.) DIRK: (You don’t want anything to do with me, or this awkward dance we’ve been doing around each other.)

No damMIT, don’t leave him alone. you need to MAKE UP. not avoid eachother.

DIRK: (And I was convinced I'd actually try giving you some space so you wouldn’t have to deal with my overbearing bullshit anymore. Yet here I am.) DIRK: (Honestly, I’m not even sure why.) DIRK: (I just had this impulse to try and smooth things over with you by offering some sort of half-assed congratulations.)

You’re on the right track DIRK! You’re almost there, but instead of giving him a shitty congratulations, you need to work out whatever the your problem is dammit.

DIRK: (Sorry for making you uncomfortable for a solid 10 minutes by stringing that conversation along.) DIRK: (I’ll go bother someone else.) JAKE: (Dirk, wait!) DIRK: (What?) DIRK: (You don’t need to humor me. Or worry about hurting my feelings, or whatever.) DIRK: (You’re not obligated to care about any of that anymore.) DIRK: (That ship has sailed.)

A A . AH GH DF  Dirk you BUTT, just listen to the fuckin hope child.

pft thanks jake.

JAKE: (Thats not... oh pussyfeathers!) JAKE: (This is exactly the problem!) DIRK: (Uh.) DIRK: (It is?) JAKE: (Im so lousy at saying what i mean and then you put all of these words in my mouth and i have no idea how to make you understand!)

YES JAKE THIS IS PrecISELY THE PROBLEM! 

JAKE: (Maybe because i hardly understand myself...) DIRK: (...) JAKE: (This is all so difficult to parse. I am utterly fucking bamboozled by everything thats happened today.) JAKE: (Ive tried to politely get everything to hold its damn horses for perhaps ten friggin minutes but no!) JAKE: (Those stallions shot right out of the gate with forceful gusto and ive been trying to keep from being trampled underneath their thundering hooves this entire time!) JAKE: (There are SO MANY PEOPLE here.) JAKE: (And while im sure theyre all perfectly upstanding folk i have no clue how im supposed to TALK to any of them.) JAKE: (Especially when i cant even bring myself to engage with those whom i actually KNOW.) JAKE: (Because im certain there are a plethora of things i need to apologize for but im still puzzling out what exactly they are.)

Damn, I know the feeling Jake. When you know you’ve done something wrong, and you have no fucking clue what it is, yet somehow that makes you feel even GUILTIER because you think you SHOULD know what you did wrong.

DIRK: (Jake...) JAKE: (Honestly ive been resigning myself to the possibility of never speaking to anyone ever again!) JAKE: (Considering im such a dunce theres no way ill ever be able to figure out how to make things right with you or jane.) JAKE: (And if i badger roxy ill no doubt botch things up with her too somehow.)

Dont be ridiculous Jake, I honestly doubt there’s any way for Roxy to ever hate you.

JAKE: (So whats the point?) JAKE: (Im never going to be a good friend let alone a good anything... more than that.) JAKE: (So ive already accepted that im really just a waste of space and i ought to spend the rest of my life keeping out of everyones way.) DIRK: (Holy shit, Jake. What?) JAKE: (Its just the simplest solution for everyone involved. Im fine with it!)

Jake you BUMFUzZLING BAFOON. COme on, get a goddamn grip on yourself.

JAKE: (I was perfectly willing to mind my own beeswax and allow the rest of you to mind yours and make myself scarce when the opportunity arose.) JAKE: (But then you ambled up to me and put that plan on ice.) DIRK: (Jake.) JAKE: (Which has had me reeling for the past little while let me tell you!) JAKE: (I dont know what to do because im getting the vibe that perhaps you still want to be friends? Though I cant even begin to guess why!) JAKE: (And im so conflicted because theres a part of me that does want to give the whole friendship thing another go even though i know its bound to end in disaster.) DIRK: (Jake-) JAKE: (But if im really going to commit to that mad gamble, it feels like this might be my only real chance to try and patch things up between us!) JAKE: (Except im so blasted TIRED! And even thinking about fumbling through that conversation with all of these people around makes me want to curl up into ball and...) JAKE: (And embarrass myself.) JAKE: (Though attempting to salvage my pride at this point seems a fools errand. Nobody can possibly take me seriously while im NOT WEARING ANY FUCKING PANTS.)

DAMMIT JAKE NOWS NOT THE TIME TO BRING UP YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS

DIRK: (...) DIRK: (Ok.) JAKE: (Im sorry dirk i just cant right now. I cant. Its too much!) JAKE: (I know its so typical of me to chicken out and disappoint you.) DIRK: (Dude-) JAKE: (Sakes alive i cant believe i just went on and on like that what am i doing???)

You’re VENTING, Jake. It’s perfectly natural and everybody should be able to do it.

DIRK: (Ok!) DIRK: (Jake, I hear you!) DIRK: (You can stop, now.) DIRK: (The fact that you managed to whisper all that was pretty impressive.)

Yeah no shit. Like, how in the fuck was that a whisper?

DIRK: (But let’s take it down a notch. Like, to breathe.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (Are you ok? Maybe we should sit down or something.) JAKE: (No i... everyone else is standing.) DIRK: (I don’t really care, and nobody else should either. Your legs look like they’re about to give out.) JAKE: (Im really fine and can we please not talk about my legs.)

... dammit jake

DIRK: (Shit, sorry. Sure thing.) JAKE: (But. Maybe sitting isnt such a terrible idea.)

It isnt. its the best idea. sit down and TALK.

There you go, much better. Now dont fall.

DIRK: (Feeling any better?) JAKE: (A smidgen...) JAKE: (Are people looking at us?) DIRK: (Not sure. Probably not. But even so, you aren’t the only one who could use a breather. I’m sure they understand.) JAKE: (Ok...) DIRK: (So.) DIRK: (Sorry for putting words in your mouth. Looks like you already had plenty of your own in there.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (I mean, like. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m actually kind of glad you told me.) DIRK: (I’m going to be real with you here and say I’m more than a little concerned about some of what you just said.)

Yes, this is GOOD.  Dirk’s realizing that MAYBE Jake has problems of his own.

DIRK: (But I get you’re not in a position to talk about it right now. And, hell, there are probably better people to hash that shit out with than me.) DIRK: (You don’t have to say anything else. Especially not about... well, us, I guess.) DIRK: (I don’t know about a lot of the other stuff, but I’m perfectly willing to save opening up that particular can of worms for later.) DIRK: (I’m... probably not ready for that conversation either. So it’s most likely for the best.) DIRK: (Being perfectly frank, I’m also not exactly enthusiastic about this crowd. I’m not really used to having this volume of people around.) DIRK: (And I guess we’re both kind of at a loss when it comes to approaching them all. I demonstrated my lacking conversational chops earlier I think.) DIRK: (I knew it was a bad idea. But I came over here anyway.) DIRK: (Mostly because... I think I just really wanted to talk to you.) DIRK: (I guess old habits die hard.) DIRK: (Or in this case, ridiculously young ones.) JAKE: (Um...) DIRK: (Right. Getting to the point.) DIRK: (Whatever you may be thinking about yourself, I can pretty much guarantee you I don’t agree.) DIRK: (But I’m going to put that aside for now and just say that yeah, I really do still want to be friends.) DIRK: (If there’s some part of you that’s willing to give it a shot, I want you to promise me something.) JAKE: (Ok. What is it?) DIRK: (That you’ll put all that bullshit about cutting ties with everyone aside, at least for long enough to talk about this stuff properly later.)

Good, GOOD, they’re both not being idiots anymore. this is good. because holy shit that was awkward. they’re just gonna work out all their problems, and not be dumb shits over it.

DIRK: (It doesn’t even need to be with me. But just... somebody. I mean, don’t you want to talk to your grandma, dude? You’ve been pen pals for ages. And now she’s right there.) JAKE: (That, um... Yes actually. That does sound nice.) DIRK: (Good.) DIRK: (Maybe we ought to wrap this up, then.) DIRK: (Or am I wrong in thinking you still want some space?) JAKE: (So long as were all on this platform i doubt ill be getting very far with that either way.) DIRK: (True.) JAKE: (What i could really use is a NAP!) DIRK: (I feel that.) DIRK: (But it might have to wait a bit longer.) DIRK: (Think you can manage until then?) JAKE: (Probably?) DIRK: (And just to make things crystal clear...) DIRK: (Until we get our shit together enough to actually talk about, well...) DIRK: (You know what.) DIRK: (Are we cool?) JAKE: (I think so.) DIRK: (Thank fuck.)

Thank fuck indeed. I realize I didn’t say a whole lot during all this, mainly because I’m indifferent to this whole conversation. I’m not realizing anything new about them other than that they were really annoying when they tried avoiding the subjects. in a weird adorable awkward kinda way.

Yes, there we go, fucking SMILE. 

DIRK: (C’mon.) DIRK: (Let’s go claim our reward.)

GO get’em tiger.

Alright, that was the end of their interaction! It was a little boring to read over, so that kinda made it tedious. not because the act omega team wrote it bad! i just never really cared much for either of these characters. BUT that’s fine. just personal preference and shit. BUT NOW WE GET A CHARACTER INTERACTMENT IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO.

Here we are aN HOLY SHIT JADES EYES. I dont know what it is about them, they just look off.... HMMmm..

JADE: (hey rose?) ROSE: (Oh, hello Jade.)

8D THEY FINALLY MEET

ROSE: (I see you’ve finally woken from your nap.) JADE: (yeah!!! thank goodness!) JADE: (now i can finally give you a proper nice to see you hug!)

OH YES HUG HER NOW JADE

ROSE: (Is that so?) ROSE: (Well, It would be remiss of me to refu-)

8D....

thats the end of this update. I suppose I can ship them next time So yeah, expect a fourth update today.

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 15} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

ALSO I have included asks I received to do with IWSY in the hours leading up to before I posted it because there was a few! So if you sent in an ask to do with IWSY and I didn’t post it - it will be in this post!

@kpopppimagines said: *Looks at clock, notices time, starts to dance strangely and do weird jazz hand motions* Wooooooooo yeahhhhhhhh! So excited! Xx 🙌🏼🙌🏼💕

Ahhh I really hope you liked the chapter love!

Anonymous said: Hope the new chapter will be as great as the rest!! Really looking forward to what direction the story will go in❤️❤️

I hope it lived up to your expectations :D

@mocking-butts said: I'm probably way too excited for this chapter because holy moly i need more!!! Honestly one of my favorite fanfics i love it <3

I really hope you enjoyed it my dear ^^ Thank you very much!

@audreymv said: I wanna kill Yoongi like mate I UGH I CANT. Like why and now Jungkook cant tell her his secret just omg everything os crashing down. I love this so mich but Yoongi he is ooooo on my list in this fanfic. Loving it so far 😘😘😘

Just when he was about to tell her :c How can he tell her now?! heh ^^ Thank you so much for reading it!

Anonymous said: Wow, new chapter of IWSY was really good! I'm so glad to finally get some backstory on the reader, but I kind of feel bad for Jungkook now.. Because how will the reader react when he tells her? And Yoongi's going to the ball so she'll recognise him.. Ahhh! Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but patiently wait. Stay healthy and keep up the hard work! Thanks

I’m so happy you thought it was good! I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how she will react when/if he tells her ^^ lol Thank you so much for reading and I hope you stay healthy too!

@loverofotome said: 😱😱 IT'S THEIR FATE TO BE TOGETHER 😱😱 I was definitely not expecting that. Yoongi seems to think there's something special about her and I can't help but wonder what that is. Ahhh! I love your writing and it's so good, as always. I can't wait until next week!

IT WAS DESTINY~~ hehe ^^ I wonder what’s so special about her? I guess we will have to wait to find out :D Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have an awesome day :)

@doubletroublesince1994 said: NOPE. NEVER EXPECTED THIS. BUT THIS. HOW DARE YOU. OMGGGG WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU LEFT ME WITH A CLIFFHANGER EVEN IF IT ISN'T ONE?????? UGH I LOVE YOU.

I am very very sorry c: hehe~ I love you too and thank you very much for reading the chapter!!

Anonymous said: oh my gosh, yoongi.. what he did was so cruel. and that's why he's looking for y/n... i'm really curious about when and what's going to happen when y/n finds out jungkook is a vampire

Why did he do it though? And what’s the reason he is looking for her? Is it to just dimply finish what he began? If so - is he going to go looking for Sid, too? ;o SO many questions! haha ^^ Thank you for reading the chapter!

@omelys-space said: IT ALL CONNECTS GOD DAMN! Like how amazing is this update 😍 I am honestly excited for every update you post and they never let me down   Thank you ❤

I’m so happy that you can see it all connecting and beginning to come together to make a bigger picture! There is still much more to come :D hehe Thank you very much and it makes me happy that you said I never let you down. Thank you!

Anonymous said: Honestly this fan fiction is one of the best things I've ever read. I hate reading, but this story has changed my perspective about it! IWSY is also the first long fanfic that I've read heh~ I just want you to know that I think you are a really good writer and the stories that you make are amazing! I am in love with this story!❤️❤️  -Ro (you don't know me but I'm gonna put my name anyway☺️)

Hi Ro! :D Ahhh thank you so much for your wonderful words, I’m smiling so much! And thank you also for reading my series and I’m so happy that you’re enjoying it ^^

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: IM S C R E A M I NG I DIDNT EXPECT THAT AT ALLLLLL FUCJSKSKKFMFMGMDMAMZMXMXKSK I LOVE

YAAAAAY I’m glad I could surprise you! I think a lot of people thought it was either going to be Yoongi or Jungkook that had something to do with her parents death. But in a way - they both did, I guess :D Thank you so much for reading the update!!

@im-so-scared-aaaa said: Ok, I'm suppose to be studying, but now I'm shooked ^^ Thank you😿

I hope you managed to get back to studying you naughty child! c: Haha thank you so much for reading it and I hope you enjoyed it too!

Anonymous said: That curveball thoooooooo I don't want jungkook to be hurt :"( how is he ever going to tell reader about his secret like this 😰😰😰😰

I know :( How could you ever tell someone that after what they just told you? :(

Anonymous said: OMG This chapter give me chills!!! It's amazing, I am loving how the plot starts to thicken ... things are about to get a while lot more intense and complicated isn't it ?!😏 I honestly can't wait for the update , thank you so much for updating every week. I Love you and you writing so much❤

I’m so happy I could give you chills c: And...it may possibly get more complicated and intense from this moment on...yes c: Thank you so much for reading and I love you too! Have an awesome day :D

Anonymous said: Ah this chapter was so angsty... I never read angst but You did so well!! Ta! x  U.K. Anon :)

I do enjoy writing angst a lot :) It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written something very angsty since my Who Are You? series! Thank you so much fellow U.K anon!

@moonlighthollow said: I somehow new that her parents were killed by a vampire But Holy shit it's yoongi He's scary af 😐 Poor brother😭 Poor girl😭 And poor jungkookie😭 It was good as always tho😅😊

Idk about you but evil Yoongi gives me such a sexy vibe isfskdgksjng lol Thank you for reading the update and I hope you have a wonderful day babe!

Anonymous said: I don't know if I'm shivering because it's cold in my room, or because of ch 15 of IWSY... Oh my fxxking god!!!! I mean, there were hints, so the plot doesn't come as much as a surprise, but the writing style had me sucked into the story completely! Loved it! 👏🏻💕

I am also shivering but my reason is that it is DEFINITELY cold right now TT I want it to be summer already I’m so DONE with the cold lol Thank you very much for reading the update and I hope you’ll enjoy the future chapters too!

Anonymous said: I LOVE YOU AND WRITING SOOO MUCH!!! ❤❤❤

I LOVE YOU TOO THANK YOU BABE! :D

Anonymous said: Hi Sara!! I'm the anon that had that super late 7:45 class, so I couldn't read IWSY a couple weeks ago when it updated. ANYWAYS, I usually post some kind of ask to you every update you have, but the past couple weeks I haven't been able to because of school T.T SO, I wanted to finally message you again and tell you how WONDERFUL IWSY is! Not gonna lie, it is my ALL TIME FAVORITE FIC that I have ever found on Tumblr! Like the last couple chapters with the smut.. WOO DAMN GIRL. (cont.) Usually I read the smut for the smut (lol), BUT when I read those chapters, I was so engrossed in the story that I wanted to know what was going to happen next more than reading more smut X3. AND THEN YOU HAD TO COME OUT WITH THIS NEXT CHAPTER AND HOT DAMN. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET MY FRIENDS TO READ IWSY SO THAT I CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT BUT NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME >.< Anyways, keep up the good work! You keep throwing curve balls my way gah damn. (2/2) - 7:45 anon

Hello 7:45 anon! That’s okay, I completely understand and you don’t have to apologise or explain yourself because school/work is important and I’m glad you’re focused on your studies! But thank you so much for reading and catching up with the series, and I’m really happy that you’re liking it ^^ Awwww I hope once of your friends reads it too so you guys can talk about it with each other! That’s so cute haha c: Thank you so much and I hope you have a great week :D

Anonymous said: BRRROOOOOOOOOHMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK HWAT THE FUCK WHAT THE F U C K OOOHHHH MY GOD!!!! pls tell me the next chapter is the charity ball I'm READY for the action the drama GIRL PLS I cannot wAIT GIRL!!! That chapter had me yelling at the top of my lungs 😱😱😱

*giggles* thank you so much for reading! The ball will come soon - I promise! Just hold on tight a bit longer :D I hope you enjoyed it my dear!

@fashionkilla124 said: I love you. That I won't stop you story just stopped my heart. I honestly knew yoongi had something to do with but when I found out yoongi killed her parents I was like NOOOOI NOT MY BABY YOONGI AWWW LAWD TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE. I cant wait for next week I'll probs have a heart attack next chapter

Awh I love you too :D hehe~ Evil baby Yoongi what is he doing :c lol thank you so much for reading the update and I really hope you’ll look forward to next week too!!

Anonymous said: Omg poor Sid 😞 he was only four...DAMMIT Yoongi

I know :( Poor Sid indeed - but I wonder why Yoongi did it...;)

Anonymous said: Damn in the span of like four days (not including the hours they're at work) they've managed to christen every room the house, didn't you say there were like 13 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, not to mention the kitchen, living room etc.?? Damn they got busy 😏

LOLOLOL they got busy indeed c: Haha it was more so meant as a sexually comedic idiom, but if it’s possible it’s possible! lol I hope you enjoyed the chapter my dear :D

Anonymous said: BISH. I'm jungshook rn. I can't. I love you. But why you play with my emotions like this? I love this story. I love you. I love Jungkook. I love the way chapter 15 snatched my edges and left them at a bus stop in Miami. You're the best. ~With love, New Kookie Anon

Hello new kookie anon! lol Jungshook~ I think everyone becomes a little Jungshook from time to time c: I love you too my dear!! I hope you got home safely from the bus stop in Miami xD thank you so much for reading the update!

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHHH SARA OMG I CANT FUCKING EVEN OF COURSE YOONGI KILL ED Y/NS PARENTS AND NOW WANTS HER BLOOD. OMG OF FUCKING COURSE. I NEED TUESDAY TO COME BACK HOLY SHIT I'M SCREAMING SARA. Y DO YOU DO THIS TO ME. I CANT EVEN THINK CLEARLY THIS FUCKED ME UP THIS MADE MY DAY 10000X BETTER BECAUSE I HAD A SHITTY DAY. SO THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OMG I AM SHOOK

OOOOOH BUT WHY DOES HE WANT HER BLOOD?! That’s the most important question ;D lolol I’m so glad I could make your day a little less shitter though c: I love you too and thank you so much for reading the new chapter my dear!

Anonymous said: OMG MY HEART! THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS JUST SO HAJSKCLZPAVAVAFUCABAKDLXLXNAL(ノﾟДﾟ)

AHHHHH I HOPE THAT’S A GOOD THING! I hope you enjoyed it ^^

Anonymous said: Oh mai gawdddd!!! Sara you're such a good writer! Part 15 of IWSY gave me the major feels!!!! Poor kookie... Halfway through part 15, I already knew what was going to happen before I read it, but you're so skilled that you still managed to make it sad T-T. I can't wait for part 16!!!

Ahhh thank you so much my darling :) You’re too kind to me! Thank you very much for reading the update and I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well!

Anonymous said: I cant believe Vampire evil yoongi was looking for y/n since back then ONG GET A LIFE LMAO love your serie💜

But remember that he has been locked up for the past 13 years! So he has had a lot of time to plan c: Thank you so much for reading and enjoying it my love ^^

Anonymous said: 😭😭 I wish it's a happy ending for Jungkook and Y/N, in the "I Won't Stop You" series. I love you Author-nim!

I wish for that too my dear! I love you too and thank you for reading my series *hugs* Have a wonderful day!

@jynxy24 said: SARA SARA SARA SARA SARA!!!! WHEN WILL JUNGKOOK TELL Y/N?! ARGHHHH YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS! LIKE JUST WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO TELL? COME ON!!! This is just like when I found out Who Are You was a dream. T.T But i still love your writing Sara! Great chapter today, stay awesome! 👅👅

But how can he tell her straight away now right after she just dropped that bombshell on him?! So many questions hehe :P I hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway my dear ^^ I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you so much for reading!

@lostheretics said: i thought they were going to the fundraising ball in part 15 but they had a deep talk instead asdfghjkl kill me rn bc y/n's secrets omg😭😭 iM STILL CONFUSED WHAT's THE SPECIAL THING THAT YOONGI WANTS FROM HER

Deep, heart to heart pillow talks are my fav thing in the world *feels very soft at this thought* ahhhh :c lolol And I guess you’ll just have to wait to find out why he wants her so badly! Hopefully, someone will be able to tell Jungkook too, before it’s too late...heh ^^ Thank you for reading my love and I hope you’re enjoying the story!

Anonymous said: oh my fucking god :( i hope y/n wont abandon jungkook once she found out he a whole dracula :(( oh my god no but then ill love that because I LOVE PAIN but no dont do it LMAO WAIT WILL Y/N RECOGNIZE YOONGI AT THE BALL HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I hope she won’t either :c He deserves to be loved since he is so capable of loving now! You masochist hehe (fucking same tho) c: Thank you so much for reading my dear!

Anonymous said: SO YOONGI HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR Y/N FOR YEARS NOW??? IT SEEMS LIKE Y/N'S PARENTS PROTECTED HERSMJWHFJD WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABT HER IS SHE SOME TYPE OF VAMPIRE GOD LIKE SOMEONE EVEN MORE SUPERIOR THAN JUNGKOOKS FAMILY?? IS THAT WHY YOONGI WANTS HER SO MUCH???

Well if you remember, Yoongi has been locked up for 13 years but has now only escaped with the help of Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin! Hehe I hope you enjoy how the story unfolds c: Thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: OMG THE BACK STORY I'M CRYING how will y/n react if jungkook tell her the truth bruh I can't take the suspense AND ALSO IS THE BALL NEXT WEEK???? I WANNA SEE HER DRESS OMG

In the story, Y/N and Jungkook are currently talking when it is Friday night - so the ball is on the Saturday; which is the next day! c: And yessssss! I wonder what type of dress Taehyung and Jimin are creating...I think it will be a masterpiece~ Thank you for reading my series! :D

@semisweetsuga said: MY HEART. SARA MY LOVE YOU HAVE HURT ME BUT I'M OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE THAT UPDATE WAS BEAUTIFUL. I LOVED IT SM GOOD JOB!!

I’m sorry for hurting your heart Koto :c Please forgive me ahhhhh. I love you a lot and thank you for always being so fucking awesome ^=^

@manibbunny said: i am sure that Y/N will be understanding of jungkook when he tells her about him being a vampire. she will get sad but she loves him and she knows he's different and won't do something like that ever again. loved the new chapter btw!

I hope she is understanding of Jungkook too! I think if you really love someone and have feelings for them like that - love can always find a way and triumph. So I hope that’s the case for Jungkook and Y/N too! Thank you for reading the update my love and I hope you enjoy the rest of the series too!

Anonymous said: Oh yoongi's been after OC since she was young.. Loved the chapter. I'm even more excited to find out what's special abt the OC. I wonder also why jungkook (and taehyung) dont know what's special if yoongi knows? (You dont need to answer that ofc. just me voicing my thoughts while reading). Looking forward to next tuesday~

Don’t worry - I always love to read people’s thoughts so think and say all you want! But yeah, you’re right - I won’t ever say whether is someone is wrong or right :3 Jungkook and Y/N will be talking with Taehyung and Jimin before the ball when they go to get her dress (which is the next day in the story if you remember ^^) So I wonder if something will happen then?! c: Thank you for reading and enjoying my series dear ^^ It means a lot to me!

@animeimmortal said: wow. Just wow. Like I am so curious as to how this is going to turn out but right now I'm just amazed omg

I hope you’ll enjoy how the story unfolds and pans out in time! Thank you for reading the update beautiful ^=^

@taekookiesandcream said: Sara, my love, part 15 was amazing! You keep out-doing yourself!! You're so so talented and I want you to know your very appreciated! Also, I feel really bad for only speaking to you when you update lol, I'll try and speak to you more often, pinky promise 🙋🏼💕

Ach, thank you so much my little flower ^^ And no oh my goodness don’t feel bad about doing that! You can always talk to me whenever you wish - my DMs are always open! (although I may not be able ot reply straight away due to work and Uni etc~ I will reply eventually lol!) Thank you so much dear :D

Anonymous said: SHIT JUST GOT REAL

YOU BET YOUR DAMN ASS IT GOT REAL HOHOHOHO

[lsradio]

Interview: Mollie Marriott (09/04/17)

Last sunday we caught up with the wonderful Mollie Marriott prior to her gig supporting the incredible Paul Weller at the Mountford Hall. Here’s what she had to say…

  So you say you’ve been walking around Liverpool today?

Yeah we went to The Beatles museum but couldn’t get in so we walked around the docks instead. It’s an amazing city with great architecture and cool vintage shops. There were these amazing street performers – a lad singing Al Green which I had to put up on my Instagram.

  When was the last time you were here?

Oh my gosh I think I was 14! So it would have been…

  I wont ask…

17 years ago! I was touring with a band back then.

And I tell you what, I can’t believe how cheap it is here for a cab! Compared to London we were amazed.

  Yeah its great as a city, has got so much going on but at Northern prices!

Absolutely, really cool.

  So what have you been listening to recently?

Oooh lots!

A female singer called Empara Mi – London grammar vibes.

Lana Del Ray – because I love her

Billie Holliday – this album I’m always playing, makes me feel at home!

  So good for going on tour?

For sure!

Before I go on stage I like listening to Sound Garden – to pump me up! And Audioslave.

And to wind down French Swing music from the 40s and 50s – I find it really soothing!

  Good answer, lots of really interesting stuff there. Iv been listening to lots of your music this week, in particular new single ‘Control’ on Youtube, which is going to be released soon right?

Yeah May 12 it’s coming out officially. One of my favourite songs on the album so really excited to get it released; it’s a real powerful song. Peoples responses have been funny because they’ve been saying “yeah! Empowering women, taking back control”, but actually I wrote it because I was getting screwed over by a lot of women, hence the words ‘I’m not a fool for a pretty one’ – it was always these really beautiful women using their looks to kind of trample on you and get ahead! That said, I’m loving all the positive feedback on the song.

  Yeah I though it had a real Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac vibe about it!

Oh cool! Thanks! ‘Rumours’ has got to be one of my favourite albums of all time. Stevie Nicks is the queen!

  Yeah pretty hard to disagree with that! You’ve done a lot of session work and backing vocals, have you ever had the chance to work with Fleetwood Mac or Stevie Nicks?

No sadly I haven’t the chance to do that, but have had the pleasure of writing with someone with similarly strong lyrical content – Judy Tzuke, she just paints the most beautiful pictures and tells the most wonderful stories with her writing and she’s definitely inspired me and become a very close friend of mine. A lot of the songs on the album I’ve written with her – she’s amazing.

  I don’t think I’d be able to work with Stevie Nicks though I’d freak out, and I don’t really get starstruck!

  You’ve worked with some pretty special artists though, what’s the closest you’ve come to getting starstruck?

That’s tough! Probably when I was 16/17 and during the concert for George Harrison when he passed – most of my family were on that show, so I was hanging out backstage and this guy bumped into me and said “I’m sorry darling,” I turned around and it was Tom Hanks – so cool! So yeah probably the closest I’ve got to being starstruck. I think being raised with well known musicians, famous musicians don’t really bother me so much, but when its actors its something else. I met Matt Le Blanc once doing a show on Radio 2 and seeing a ‘Friend’ in person was also awesome.

  So how’s it been working and touring with Paul Weller? Must be class.

It is! Paul is a really close friend of mine and he’s really taken me under his wing especially the last couple of years. I recorded the album at his studio, and have been very fortunate to have him guest on it playing guitar. On tour he’s really looked after me and the band, and they’ve been saying how rare it is for the main artist on a tour to come out and say hello to the support band. The whole tour feels like a family thing, I’m really close to Steve Craddock, Andy Crofts, and the rest of the boys I’ve played with before so it’s a different kind of vibe to when you’re with people you don’t know. I’m about to go on tour with Wilco Johnson in two days but I don’t know Wilco at all, so that will be a completely new experience.

  Sounds great, and doesn’t come as a surprise to hear that about Paul Weller, who comes across as so right on when he talks and writes.

He’s the best guy! I have to say I think he’s one of, if not the, nicest man in the music industry. He will do anything for anyone, isn’t in it for the fame or glory and he’s a real musician – something that’s really lacking in music at the moment.

  I can’t wait for the gig later; I remember ‘Wild Wood’ playing in the car from my childhood so is going to be very nostalgic even for me.

The funny thing is today we were sat in a café and ‘You Do Something to Me’ came on, then when we went for lunch we looked at the menu and it was for the Wild Wood café. Our last show of the tour and it seems like the universe knew!

  So if you had a favourite Paul Weller song? Jam, Style Council or solo?

Oh no!! … Ok… NO!

Do I have to pick just one?

  No! Can be 3 or 5 or whatever!

Ok phew – ‘Peacock Suit’, because it’s definitively Paul Weller.

Obviously ‘You Do Something to Me’.

‘Sunflower’.

  Haha I can’t pick!

  And these are all just solo!

I know! Also ‘White Sky’ off his last album ‘Saturn’s Pattern’

For me I think I’m more into his solo stuff having grown up in the 90s when it came out. It made a real impression on me; ‘Stanley Road’ that whole album is amazing.

I feel weird saying all this! Think he’d be like ‘what you talking bout? Shuttup, don’t be silly!”

  Well I was gonna ask if he’d influenced you next…

Of course he has! But then everyone’s influenced me. I think everyone influences everyone, whether it’s for the right reasons or the wrong ones. But yeah, he blows me away – his professionalism is inspiring, his longevity in the industry, and it just goes to show when you’re a good musician, when you know what you’re talking about and you’re a decent man, you get far.

  Well that’s the sort of story we need, right!

Isn’t it just.

  So we’ve talked about your single, and the albums coming out this year too.

Yep, albums coming out in September. ‘Truth is a Wolf’, no exact date yet. I’ve worked with Paul and Judy on it, and one of my best friends called Sam Tanner who’s in a band called Brother Strut.

  The albums been a real labour of love, a nightmare in some circumstances! Its taken a few years to get right, but now it is right. I wanted to work with Stan Kybert, who produced all Paul Weller’s albums in the last 10 years, Heathen Chemistry, all the Oasis lot. I met Stan when I was 15 and I knew if I ever did an album it would have to be with him, I wanted that big sound. We’ve remained friends this whole time and so I made that call! “Lets do this!” 15 years later!

  Will be great then once its out, something that’s been 15 years in the making.

Yeah it’ll be fantastic! It kinda feels like I’ve been in labour for 15 years and its finally coming out!

  I’m not even gonna pretend I can imagine that feeling.

Unfortunately, I don’t have to!

  So I read that you live in Henley, iv found there’s a weird connection between that part of South Oxfordshire and Liverpool – so many of my friends here are from the towns and villages round there its strange!

I think its because Liverpool is so cool and cheap, with great music and history. Henley is so musical its ridiculous – George Harrison used to live there, Dusty Springfield is buried there, half of Deep Purple live there, half of Bad Company – its amazing and quite bizarre.

  Something in the water?

Something in the water.

  Mollie’s debut album ‘Truth Is A Wolf’ is out later this year.

  Read the full post on LSRadio.co.uk