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#i finished the ep last night and just couldnt get this out of my head
idkimoutofideas · 5 years
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Beau has nightmares about Fjord falling for weeks.
Even after Caduceus and Jester heal him. Even when he's walking around, fine except for the new scar on his chest. The scar that almost perfectly matches the one on Beau’s abdomen (the one that would match the scar Molly got, if he had managed to survive that fight with Lorenzo).
She can’t get the image out of her head. Watching Fjord (her Captain, her friend) plummet through the air, hitting the deck like a sack of bricks with a crunch of bones breaking loud enough to be heard over the storm.
She doesn’t remember screaming his name, she was stunned, and a good chunk of that fight passed in a blur. But she knows she did. Because every time she closes her eyes and sees it again (sees him fall, sees him get stabbed, sees the breath leave his body), she wakes up screaming.
She takes to sleeping outside of Fjords room. On the deck of the ship, not really shielded from the elements or anything else out there. But at least she’s close enough to help him, because she couldn’t last time and it kills her (not as much as it killed him). It only takes one night of that before Fjord sets up another bed in his room. It’s cramped, but Beau appreciates it.
Now when she wakes up from the nightmares, doing her best to scrub away the image of him falling, the sickening sound of him crashing into the deck below, she can look over and reassure herself that he’s alive. That he’s ok.
Because she’s his first mate. He’s her best friend. And she can’t let anything happen to him. Not again.
He told her that they were stronger together, but they aren’t. They just keep running into things that are bigger and badder and they get beat down time and time again and Beau dreads the day another one of them dies because she doesn’t think she can handle that. Not after Molly.
Funny, isn’t it. They grow and change and become stronger and more powerful, only to make the same mistakes, only to have their past catch up with them. Only to have their family ripped apart again and again and barely pieced back together.
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Are there any cookies you want costumes for? Or just any general costume ideas? :)c
you can never go wrong with giving dark choco more costumes...#TBH #Justmyopinion .... okay but in all seriousness, if it's anything i do have like. a few costume concepts in my wips that'll probably never see the light of day so i may as well share here.. don't want the post to get too long so i'll elaborate under the cut
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these ^ are concepts i had for a beauty and the beast inspired werewolf costume, which im fairly surprised we haven't gotten yet since it seems so obvious. was going to make a fully fledged sprite edit for this but i couldnt figure out the color scheme i wanted and i eventually lost the file when my tablet initially died a few months ago #LOL
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THIS is one that actually has chances of being colored and finished at some point, got the idea for wind archer with a cyber aesthetic and i had to get the ball rolling... need to come up w a better costume name though.
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remembered this one in the middle of typing this and i actually doodled this up earlier today. a blueberry pie costume based off of a dream i had last night HAHA. the idea for this one is also cool so i might also finish it someday... blueberry pie needs more love forreal
as for cookies i just generally think deserve costumes... off the top of my head, millennial tree is a must please he's been gaining dust for so long, i think werewolf just in general has been robbed of some cool costume ideas so i'll mention him here again too, also hope we eventually get blind healer pv and unnamed huntress hb + the outfit dark cacao gets in ep 13-14 as costumes for the characters too bc i love those designs. red velvet getting a costume would also be cool to see.. and also despite avocado getting a new costume in ovenbreak and kingdom soon i also think she deserves more costumes ^_^ bc i Loav her.
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 1
a/n: this is a mini-series that are based off of your asks and once i,,,,, finish,,,, my seijoh phase, i will also do this for the other schools but pls take these offerings in the meantime as i work on the next part of my manager!seijoh and the time traveler au 
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon request: 
Wow, your series of Seijoh managers is so cute.🥺👉👈 After starting to read, I can only think about Oikawa and y / n on a Saturday night seeing mean girls, painting nails, taking care of the skin and the another day Oiks rubbing the face of everyone who spends much more time with his dear businessman LMAOO Anyway, congratulations on your work 💕💕 seriously, I LOVE this series omg-
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I MIGHT BE AN IWA AND KYO STAN BUT OIKS IS DEFINITELY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRETTIEST DUMPSTER IVE EVER SEEN
yep lets start the pilot
so basically, oikawa was being oikawa again
what might i mean, you ask
well, he was starting to work much harder than before since this was his last ever inter-high and his last ever chance on beating ushiwaka 
even though they finally have the team assembled avengers assemble! with kyo back on the team, he still felt lacking and wanted to use every single free time to work on becoming better
yall fun fact about me, oikawa is actually my favorite character bc of how hard he works and the pain i have in that once scene during the karasuno match when he slammed into the tables and was struggling to get up bc of his knee----NO IM SOBBING AGAIN
iwa noticed him doing this again so he sent you out to drag him out and distract him from this 
‘cmon oikawa-san-’
‘NO, Y/N-CHAN! I HAVE TO-’
‘no, the only thing you have to do is spend time with me bc i miss you and i want to have that movie you kept talking about’
bahahaha he is so whipped that a single ‘i miss you’ from you will literally make him break his back and bend for you
it was successful and you were in your room, your parents understanding oikawa and his antics since youve complained about it before, and he was sitting on your floor while looking through movies
‘y/n-chan, do you have no alien movies in here? or barbie?’
IN MY CONTENT, IT IS CANON THAT OIKAWA LOVES THE BARBIE MOVIES FITE ME
you laughed from your spot on your bed and shook your head
‘no, oikawa-san. natsu took all my barbie movies and i get scared of alien movies’
he pouted but continued to look until his eyes literally lit up
it was like god took a picture of him and you saw the flash
‘MEAN GIRLS! Y/N-CHAN I DIDNT KNOW YOU LIKED THIS TYPE OF MOVIE!’
he shrieked but you shrugged
‘meh. katsuki, natsu’s boyfriend, gave it to natsu as a joke but he gave it to me instead bc he cannot stand regina george’
you reasoned while picking out nail polish colors and looking through the ingredients of your face masks
‘WE’RE WATCHING THIS! PERIODT!’
omg hes so loud but i am too so we compatible
ugh i hate my logic
then later,
as the movie played, you were arguing with oikawa as he refused to wear the unicorn and wanted the panda one, which was your favorite
‘OIKAWA-SAN, I LIKE THIS ONE!’
‘Y/N-CHAN I LIKE IT MORE!’
you sucked in a sharp breath before relenting bc you wanted oikawa to be relaxed per request of your beloved senpai
‘fine. but i get to paint your nails’
he nodded eagerly and you handed him the packet, to which he simply stared at it
‘y/n-chan, can you,,,, put it on me?’
he sheepishly asked and you gave him a confused and bewildered look
‘oikawa-san, have you never put these on yourself?’
he shook his head, cheeks flushing and eyes focusing on the blue blanket
‘my sister always put it on for me. or iwa-chan’
‘IWA-?! wHAT-?!’
but you nodded anyways and he made you sit on his lap to put it on
‘um, oikawa-san, this position-’
he smiled at you, a gentle and real smile, not the ones for his fangirls
‘nuh uh, its fine, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you so he likes you right here’
he mumbled, blushing and wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer making you giggle and nod
‘okay. close your eyes then, oikawa-san’
he excitedly nodded, expecting a kiss from you but you flicked his forehead making his eyes fly open and wince at the pain
‘so perverted, oikawa-san. pervert-oikawa-san’
you scolded and he pouted
he said something but you didnt listen, instead placing the mask on his face and smoothing it out
his fringe was about to touch the wet material so you hastily grabbed a clip and held his hair up
he looked so cute that you couldnt help but reach over and snap a picture of him
‘ara ara gomen did y/n-chan just take a picture of oikawa-san?’
he teased but you shook your head
‘no. what are you talking about?’
he did the same thing to you and now you were both painting each other’s nails, ofc staying loyal to your school mint green and baby blue on the ring fingernail
lmao dont blast me for not being exact w the school colors but it looks mint green to me
he finished yours first and omg?? hes so??? good?? like what???
you were holding his large hands with your small fingers and his heart started thumping really fast at the simple touch 
‘thank you,,,,, y/n-chan’
you looked up to him with large eyes, still unfamiliar with the softness of his voice
it was such a contrast compared to his usually loud and obnoxious, mocking tone
‘oikawa-san is not a really good captain since he burdens and bothers everyone but you always fix it all and keep everyone together. so, sorry for everything’
he mumbled and the eye holes from the mask let you see his sad eyes, genuinely sad about himself
you made the last paint stroke and capped the nail polish before leaning forwards, hands on his thigh so you could be closer
oikawa ofc freaked out because wow youre so much prettier up close and he doesnt?? deserve you??
your eyes blazed with anger and he stuttered your name but you cut him off
‘OIKAWA-SAN IS NOT USELESS. HE IS A REALLY GOOD CAPTAIN WHO LED HIS TEAM TO BATTLE THE ULTIMATE RIVAL AND EVEN THOUGH THEY LOST, THEY STILL WON IN MY EYES. YOU GOT KENTA-KUN TO COME BACK EVEN THOUGH HE DIDNT WANT TO BUT HE DID BC HE KNOWS HOW GOOD YOU ARE. HE WANTS TO PLAY ALONGSIDE A PLAYER WHO DESERVES TO BE ON THE COURT AND EVERYONE ELSE THINKS THE SAME THING. ME, Y/N, IS JUST A MANAGER WHO MIGHT NOT KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT VOLLEYBALL OR THE TECHNIQUES AND ALL THAT BUT I RECOGNIZE YOUR TALENT AND YOU WILL MAKE IT BIG SOMEDAY, OIKAWA-SAN! I PROMISE! AND WHEN YOU DO, I WILL SUPPORT YOU AND COME TO YOUR GAMES BC YOU ARE MY CAPTAIN AND I DONT REGRET EVER MEETING YOU. SO DONT APOLOGIZE AND SAY SORRY TO ME, INSTEAD TELL ME YOU ARE HAPPY TO BE IN THIS TEAM AND SAY YOU LOVE THE TEAM AND YOU LOVE VOLLEYBALL AND YOU LOVE-’
but he cut you off, placing a chaste kiss on your exposed nose
yall really thought it was the,,,, speaking function part of your face
nahnahnah that is only for the doggie
oop what
 you stopped, flustered at the sudden action but oikawa smiled
‘i love you, y/n. i really love you so give me a chance, okay? i will wait, no matter how long it takes but,,,, let me catch up and for now, think about me, okay?’
BRUH HOW IS THAT RELEVANT TO HER LONG RANT LIKE WHAT---
you tilted your head to the side, confused
she is deadass naive like bls protect her
‘a chance for what? you want to catch up for what? youre already good, oikawa-san’
then he laughed
so much more different than the ones he let out in public
it was so,,,, beautiful
you found yourself grinning with him and he calmed down, brushing away the stray hairs that is in danger of getting stuck on your mask
‘come on, y/n-chan. lets go take this off’
he stood up and offered his hand which you took
after the moisturizing and final touch-ups for your skin, you finally settled on the blanket fort and dozed off, the movie still playing but you were too comfortable in oikawa’s arms that you didnt even notice the credits rolling
the next day, you didnt feel the need to mention it at all
but oikawa did and it was still truly an accident
iwa heard about him staying late again and you having to drag him out of there and he was hitting him and kicking him again
you were so used to this that you were just writing down your notes at the corner, oblivious to oikawa’s crying
finally, he had enough of it
‘SEE THIS IS WHY Y/N-CHAN DOESNT LET YOU SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HER! BECAUSE YOU ARE SO MEAN!’
um, sire what did you just say
that was completely taken out of context and everyone, omg, especially iwa and kyo just froze
‘what,,, did you just say?’
iwa asked in a dangerously low voice and you shrugged
‘you told me to distract him, iwa-san, so i did. he was happy and satisfied and thats all that matters, right?’
you shot them a smile and oiks had such a smug smile when iwa looked at him and he was about to hit him when kyo just came out of nowhere and YEETED the smile off of his face
oikawa screamed
just a wittle blurb about this bc i totally love this :( and he totally needs more love and some of my readers love oikawa and want oikawa manager content so here it is!!! feast on these crumbs!!!!
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itsjusta · 3 years
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May 8, 2021
woke up so late todaaay doe almost 11 naaa idk why i slept so long todaaay doeee but my head hurts gyapon pag mata huhu issa very lutaw ko now doeee aish ion like it gyd basta so dugay wake up uiieee and so lain gyd ginhawa so i took painkiller doe and timing nag cook mommy lauya issa murag na ulian2 ko sa sabaw doeee hehe help2 pd ko sa kitchen uy nang limpyo and hugas ko cos mom man cook sa lunch and food for dogs
after dat i went to my old room there ko tambay doeee gitiwas nako ang kdrama na ako gina watch cos last 3 eps nalang maaan and u knooow what when i finished it 2pm kapin issa ka cry ko diretso doeee huhu idkkk i was holding out the negative feelings doe and when i was not distracted na aish issa i couldnt help it na doe
anad naman ko sa emptiness and loneliness but it still hurts a lot doeee the pain doesnt go away everytime i cry even though for the past year i have cried so much
only me and the universe knows how much i’ve cried this year doe and days like today when i cry the hardest are the most painful doeee because i question myself and my decisions a lot and all i can do is cry and be strong for myself doeee because i know that all i have is myself gyd. i know a lot of people are around me but sometimes i feel like a burden doeee other people cannot know about what im feeling doe and i also feel like a burden to you :(
its been almost a year doeee but i feel like im only at 40% not even halfway thereeee and i feel the sadness and the pain the most at days like these doe. sometimes i would have days and even weeks where i would be able to go on without feeling it so much but then there are also weeks like this na ma feel nako everyday ang emptiness and ang pain doeee aishhh u know i try so hard to break the cycle but its like my body and my heart is making me feel it doeee 🥺 hayyy i just need to get through tough days like todayyy and continue to hope for a better tomorrow and i know puhon puhon idk when but i’ll also be happy doeee 🤗 aish idk if naa muabot sako life so dat i’ll be happy or maybe i’ll just be contented with my life gyd heheh i want to be happy on my own doe but idk issa i am someone gets so bored basta walay ka storya doe omggg dapat na nako change cos ion wanna uyab2 pa!!! 😤😤😤 i want to be happy and independent!
i want to go far away and isolate doe 🥺 i think i need a break from all of this doeee but so hard gyd to even go out of town gani hahah i think the world is telling me to endure all of this and just stay strong doe hahah aishhh puhon2 i will go away doe even if diri lang sa pinas hahah i wanna start a new life aish if pwede lang gyd issa what if i disappear kalit doe dont miss me okay ahha
after my crying session i got hungwy doee so i cooked pancakesss heheh then after dat naka nap ko doeee cos im so tayurd and da weather so bugnaaaw hehe when i woke up issa 5pm na doeee and bakod nako uyyy das when i lung ag and ordered milktea doeee hehhe i felt better na after ko naka nap and naka milktea thank u doeee issa milktea gyd my comfort food!! 🥺🥺 issa milktea and ramen our go-to food but no ramen man here uyyy eheh
i took da exam na dayooon and i got perpek cos its so sayon lang maaan hehe excited nako for my grades uyyy and also for yoursss heheh i hope we get good grades 🥺🥺 the rest of the night scroll2 lang ko everywhere and babath and prepare clothes for my short stayyy sa medina aish im so duha2 gyd doe to go early cos i think i will get bored and i get so anxious and scared gyd doeee if wala distractiond cos im so scared na all i will do is be sad and cry :((( aishhh issa thats what i feel everytime gyd doe and its so scary gyddd but idk uie i’ll just survive tomorrow i dont care if i will just cry there das fine hahah im trying my best to not be sad doeee but a lot of things make me sad and its so annoying hahah i cried again before i slept doe aishhh sometimes i feel like an idiot gyddd and i feel like im making the worse decisions and i think i am gyd doe hahah but das fineee im fine with where i am now even tho its sad hahah i will just enjoy everything while it lasts cos the day will come when we will grow apart because of the situation and i can’t be in ur life na hahha dont miss me huuuh hehe but u wont even notice that im gone doe aish just enjoy while im still here okaaay im also enjoying it even though i cry a lot ahhah
good nighttt amping have fun tommmm
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hey, i really liked your posts about ep12, it helped me a lot to put things into perspective. i was wondering if you could share your thoughts on the 2gether finale as well, coz right now i just wanna cry im so disappointed with it =(
Aww, thank you, anon. <3
Ok so my thoughts on the finale are kind of all over the place but I’ll try to explain as best as I can and hopefully it’s gonna make sense.
Like I said, in my original post I dont love the ep but I dont hate it either. I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle. I enjoyed a lot of it - seeing all the couples progress and be happy together, Man/Type especially were just so adorable, Mil and Phukong starting to build something with each other (lil bro using Sarawat’s pick up line was a really nice touch, love that), Mil being an all around awesome supportive friend to BOTH Tine and Wat?? We love to see it. The way he turned up at the football field where Wat was being his angsty self and literally kicked his butt into taking action - *chef’s kiss*
Him and Fong are now the parents of the baby gays I dont make the rules.
Wat’s confession on stage and his song that he literally named after Tine and when he said he never confessed to Pam because he didnt know what love was before he met Tine - perfection. Absolute perfection. I’m here for it.
And Tine’s heartbreak was so well done too, I just felt so much for him.
Again, as I said, the whole thing with Pam didnt turned out exactly as I had hoped but it wasnt the worst case scenario either so I’ll take it. I’d rather have Pam making a mistake and realising it and backing off while assuring Tine that Wat really does love HIM and even though she tried Pam didnt stand a chance because it’s always gonna be Tine for Sarawat and she understands that now over her being an actual bitch who keeps trying to seperate them and uses the situation to her advantage. I mean they could have gone that way too - Pam didnt have to give Tine that recording or to tell him how Wat changed after meeting him but she did, I think, as her own way of apologizing for what she’d done. So yeah, overall, I’m fine with this.
ALSO NOBODY DIED SO THAT’S A BIG PLUS.
(History 3 MODC can’t relate)
ANYWAY, so those are the positives for me. Which as it turns out is most of the episode yay! Now onto what wasnt quite so positive.
My main issue with this episode is the resolution to Wat and Tine’s conflict. Mainly, there really... wasnt one. And I’m not talking about the physical intimacy thing, I’ll touch on that later but more importantly for the ending - the emotional intimacy. None of the problems they had were properly addressed. Tine’s insecurities were rooted so deeply that despite Wat spending 12 EPISODES doing anything and everything to show his love and adoration, Tine still couldnt really believe it. And that’s not gonna be resolved with a simple recording.
And on the other hand, can you image how all of this would make Sarawat feel? Like no matter what he does, no matter how much of himself he gives to Tine, his boyfriend still would find it easier to believe that Wat is just using him as a replacement for someone else. That’s gonna fuck with his head even if Tine came back. I really really wished they had talked at least a little about these things.
Like maybe if we didnt have half of the episode filled with pointless flashbacks there could have been time to actually talk... (tbh, part of me kind of wonders if they purposefully put in so many flashbacks to fill in the air time so they wouldnt HAVE to write those scenes which leaves me ?????).
I think I mentioned this too in the other post, but the Wat/Tine reunion echoes beat for beat the Fighter/Tutor reunion with all its issues but while WhyRU has a reason for why things turned out like that, here I just... I dont know what could have been the reason for 2gether’s writers? Unless they also couldnt film everything they wanted...
And then there’s the... “high-five controversy”, let’s call it and again I find myself in the middle of the argument. I stand by what I’ve said before about how I feel about the way they handled physical intimacy between the characters - yes, objectively and critically speaking, I’m not here for writers/directors/channel/whoever trying to censor the physical intimacy of an established couple. There is nothing wrong with two partners wanting to kiss/cuddle/have sex/etc. Sex isnt something dirty (I mean it can be depending on what you’re writing BUT THAT’S A DIFFERENT GENRE OK, we are not talking about smutty fic here cough cough) and shameful that “pure” people shouldnt be enjoying (lovely post on the topic here I was just thinking about it last night). And it’s about time show creators got with the programme, ESPECIALLY when it comes to non-straight couples.
As of ep13 it’s clear to me that 2gether went through some serious censorship - lots of people have talked about how it’s a thing that they do on this particular channel and maybe that’s all it is, I dont know. I dont want to speculate what’s been going on behind the scenes since I dont have any idea and sadly I dont think the writers will ever be willing to talk about it. I’d LOVE to hear their throughts on this matter tbh and why they decided to do things this way.
So on an objective level, this is bullshit. Subjectively, and this is where my personal opinion comes in, I wasnt as bothered by this as I normally would be because I’ve been enjoying all the other aspects of the relationship that the show successfully built up and prtrayed on screen. Does that make sense?
Specifically about the finale, though, I agree with the complains. Part of why the reunion felt so underwhelming and disappointing, I think, was not only the lack of emotional intimacy but also the hella.... awkward? physical “intimacy” they showed? The scene absolutely did call for a kiss or a hug, at the very least. Instead they were standing 2 feet apart cause... they’re not gay? I really really do not understand what happened there in that scene. I’ve seen some people mention that the finale was filmed before the other episodes so the actors werent used to each other yet and honestly I can see it - watching Tine and Wat in that ending montage felt like I was watching them at the beginning of their fake dating when both were awkward and unsure of where they stood with each other rather than seeing an established in love couple coming back together after going through something tough.
So these are my thoughts on the finale. It wasnt the best one I’ve ever seen but not bad enough to ruin the rest of the show for me (and there’s NOTHING I hate more than bad endings ruining a story I’ve fallen in love with so there’s that) and I do really love this show and its characters so much. It’s hard, even impossivle to find a perfect show from start to finish and honestly I’ve come to believe that’s not as important as what you get out of it - if the show makes you happy, despite whatever writing issues it might have, that’s the most important thing, I think. And 2gether did that for me. So I’m glad I watched it.
Omg, this got so long. Again. If you’re still with me, anon, you’re a hero. I hope I was able to help you. <3
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thegeminisage · 5 years
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alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever
because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE
but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale
but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly 
speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it
okay commence the liveblog:
love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe
it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly
EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful
although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF
lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG
like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it
love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”
i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season
ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen
if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade
in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......
we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.
i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole
“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it
I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly
my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle
merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too
“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t
love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad
up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP
for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”
for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK
WE
ARE
SO
BLESSED
i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD
repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF
was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey
uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too) 
i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL
“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was
and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.
you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.
“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”
you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther
i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)
but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck
between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now
and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE
and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2
ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT
me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc
actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth
percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell
there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it
absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good
can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur
the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow
there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”
and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH
if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that
i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend
multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy
“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL
merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine
love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD
do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync
here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.
you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable
until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO 
we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.
leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,
love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship
i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left
arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together
merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud
honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it
splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??
love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP
uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.
seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O
just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat
“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither
speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks
i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit
also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening
AND NOW IT’S TIME
FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE
when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER
HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING! 
“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment
AND HE DID THAT
HE👏
DID👏
THAT👏
NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.
how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that
to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences
i can’t even like
like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror
i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther
it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)
he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it
and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying
merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first
i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment
THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE
okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?
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arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?
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IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY
my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him
i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too
tbh. i wish he had.
i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden
i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......
uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing
and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both
i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME
i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING
i’m not talking about the glove thing
i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face
and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was
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flairandpassion · 7 years
Text
tagged by @moreracquetball thanks for tagging me c: this is like the longest post ive ever been tagged in so that’s fun :D
I tag @subtleglories @chickenmerengo @stephaniejblockmotherme @eldertwelvecupsofcoffee @elderandrew @weisenbxchfelds @nikolaevna-romanova @whizzerbrwn @strengthsbasedmediocrity @wihzzerbrown @livefortissimo @whizzerbrowne also if you wanna just go ahead and do it and tag people, go right on ahead! you can consider yourself tagged by me haha
last 
1. drink? five alive mango citrus
2. phone call? my mom
3. text message? my dad
4. song you listened to? making a home (falsettos)
5. time you cried? it was in may, on my road trip to ~ orlando ~ and it was ‘cuz my cousins were bullying me and usually it’s good-natured teasing but it was getting a bit much so i ended up crying in front of them lmao (but i had a lot of fun, and i definitely sang kevin’s “ORLANDO” way too much)
have you ever
6. dated someone twice? nope
7. kissed someone and regretted it? no
8. been cheated on? no
9. lost someone special? no
10. gotten drunk and thrown up? lol yes
favorite colors:
11. red
12. golden yellow
13. navy blue
in the last year have you
14. made new friends? yes!
15. fallen out of love? nope
16. laughed until you cried? i think so? probably; i laugh a lot and i laugh often
17. found out someone was talking about you? yes
18. met someone who changed you? no
19. found out who your friends are? kind of? in this last year, ive kinda been finding out who *i* am, and as a result, im finding out who really appreciates me for me, and that’s nice
20. kissed someone on your facebook list? nooope
general:
21. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? most of them
22. do you have any pets? nah, but i live with a dog who belongs to my ex-roommate
23. do you want to change your name? no, i quite like it :)
24. what did you do for your last birthday? i cleaned my room in the morning, my parents sent me these delicious chocolate strawberries, i watched the newsies pro-shoot with one of my best friends, we went out to eat korean food, and then bought drinks and came back home to finish act two of newsies--it was one of my favourite birthdays!
25. what time did you wake up? 10am? i had an alarm for 8am but it just didnt work out lol
26. what were you doing at midnight last night? i got frustrated i couldnt sleep so i pulled out my tablet and reread the second chapter of @moreracquetball‘s “the games i play” because honestly it’s such a good note to end the day on
27. name something you can’t wait for? ive decided i want to go to a sparring class on friday and the instructor’s kind of cute, so if im being completely honest, then that! but there’s a lot of other things, like dodie’s new ep, and im heading to skyzone, and falsettos being on broadwayhd! it’s been a good month of exciting things
28. when was the last time you saw your mom? on monday (two days ago)
29. what are you listening to right now? the sounds of the city outside; i live by a highway so i hear cars passing all the time and it’s soothing
30. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yeah! it took me a bit to remember, but i knew a guy in high school names thomas so i guess he counts? although now im second-guessing his name l o l
31. something that is getting on your nerves? my inability to take care of myself and my eating habits; i always forget to eat and it’s so bad
32. most visited website? ao3
34. long or short hair? short
35. do you have a crush on someone? the closest thing would probably be finding that instructor cute, but i dont think it really counts as a crush
36. what do you like about yourself? my enthusiasm! i’d also like to think i’m pretty open-minded and good at listening
37. piercing? just my ears
38. bloodtype? O+ ?
39. nickname? my name is basically already a nickname, so i dont really have one that has stuck
40. relationship status? single
41. zodiac? cancer
42. pronouns? she/her
43. favorite tv show? bbc merlin (find me on my main blog @reineyday if you like merlin as well #shamelessselfpromo)
44. tattoos? yep! a merlin on my left arm, a crown (king arthur’s tbh, but it also kinda refers to my name as well) on my right arm, a small stick-and-poke umbrella on my right heel (it’s a pun), and i kinda want a fortissimo tattoo on my left ankle bc falsettos tbh, but i want to know how to read music properly before i get it
45. right or left handed? right handed
46. surgery? yeah ive had surgery on my ears multiple times (my ear drums, to be specific)
47. sport? taekwondo, and also rock climbing
48. vacation? yes please! right now, i most want a new york trip to see more broadway shows, but i’ll honestly take anywhere new
49. pair of trainers? im not exactly sure what trainers refer to, but i wear those standard red converse
more general
50. eating: nothing rn, and im wondering if that is a correct move to make
51. drinking: nothing rn, but i just finished my five alive
52. i’m about to: finish a cover letter, download some stuff, buy tickets to a thing, and head to bed... lowkey thinking about putting off the cover letter tho
53. waiting for: the perfect time to listen to the last act of “36 questions” cuz ive been too tired to listen to it and properly appreciate it, y’know?
54. want: a falsettos movie poster
55. get married? maybe? probably? ideally? who tf knows
56. career? something artsy; the pipe dream right now is musical theatre--being on stage singing, or being backstage doing lighting or set designing--and even though the pipe dream changes from time to time, it’s always in an artistic direction
which is better
57. hugs or kisses? hugs? i havent really kissed enough to make an informed decision
58. lips or eyes? eyes
59. shorter or taller? taller, but short is good too
60. older or younger? older
61. nice arms or nice stomach? arms are the more visible of the two, but nice stomachs are great too, so can i say both?
62. hook up or relationship? relationship
63. troublemaker or hesitant? both have their appeals
have you ever
64. kissed a stranger? nope
65. drank hard liquor? yeah
66. lost glasses/contacts? yeah lol
67. turned someone down? yeah, but it was like, the fourth grade l o l
68. had sex on the first date? lol no
69. broken someones heart? nah, unless my mom counts (sorry mom)
70. had your heart broken? i dont think so, no
71. been arrested? nah
72. cried when someone died? no, but i think it’s just cuz ive been lucky enough not to have lost anyone close enough to me to prompt tears (unless we’re talking fictional deaths, ‘cuz i’ve cried at many of those)
73. fallen for a friend? yeah :/
do you believe in
74. yourself? on most days, i do :)
75. miracles? yeah, i think so
76. love at first sight? nah
77. santa? no, but i like thinking he exists--i believe in him like i believe in angels (see #79)
78. kiss on the first date? sure c:
79. angels? only in a fanciful way? i believe in angels like i believe in anything else i come to know about through stories
other
80. current best friend’s name: robyne; kristine; carolyn; elaine
81. eye color: brown
82. favorite movie: about time; eternal sunshine of the spotless mind; tangled
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69annebowlin69 · 6 years
Text
25/1/19 Watching True Detective Episode Three
8.29
Woke from dream about repeating harris wittel joke to best friend in bar where i work, only best friend left halfway through me telling it, my audience turned in to this really hateful guy who works there as well and i fluffed the punchline. Called the dr for an appointment, got 10.50 w dr cummings. Text Emmy. Set alarm for 10.
10.12
Woke, feel shitty about what i ate last night. Apple core floating in one third of a glass of water. Gross. Searched Harris Wittels on podcast app, skipped first fifteen of last CBB appearence, straight to introducing himself as pontiac. Chelsea Peretti was my fav comedian in 2013, like everyone else.
10.47
Running late. Emmy text ‘what practice r u?’ I said ‘C’ she said ‘for [my name]’
10.55
Old guy at desk told me i could check in next time via the touch screens next to the door, like i’m a returning customer. Emmy whispered ‘so proud of you for coming.’ Said i love you maybe six times in half a minute.
11.02
Dr Cummings asked why i came today if it’s been so long, i mentioned Emmy, he took it and ran with it ‘it’s always when the women get involved. well, nothing new there.’
Didn’t want to go on the scale, couldnt make out the numbers and he didn’t tell me the number, just asked my height and told me my bmi was low but not alarming. Wore tracksuit bottoms because although i wanted to look serious for the drs, i didn’t want to add weight with jeans and heavy materials if it came to a weigh in. If it came to it i’d have shown him the gaunt phots from ‘thirteen. I might show them to Emmy.
Have to see a psychologist
11.17
Emmy crossed the floor with her arms out when i exited the dr’s office. Christopher’s intervention where Sil says ‘disgusting’.
5.17
Trying to remember anything from media studies to apply to the title sequence and all i can think is that uh the camera is skewed inverting the horizon transposed over Mahershala’s silhouette, denoting…that this shit is fucked up.
5.20
This title sequence is way too long. I could literally blend some kale/spinach/ginger, throw up, read that carver story where the whole family are trying to work out who the baby looks like, , ,
5.21
True Ass Detective
5.25
What i’m wasting mum’s inheritance on this week
-Adderall
-123 pounds on bed sheets in ikea how did it come to 123? Ate 1 1/2mg xanax before we went and stopped looking at the prices of the bedsheets to save time which in hindsight was not a Good Idea. Actually a Bad Idea because now i need two buses to go back and return two duvet covers that cost 30pounds apiece.
-A subscription service called Stingray Quello? I did the free trial to watch the Classic Albums on Graceland because Simon’s supposedly very problematic in it which is equally fascinating and expected, and funny? I fell asleep ten minutes in and i’ll watch the whole thing tonight but i bet i forget to cancel the subscription. I should set a reminder. I need to set a reminder to text back dad and not to eat after nine. Some people need to remind themselves to eat which is the absolute opposite of the problem I have. I would love to have to remind myself to eat. Just texts coming up telling me to have dinner because i’ve forgotten again and haven’t been calculating stupid ass numbers all day hoping they add up to less 1800.
-For 44.99 i can return to raccoon city and contract the D-virus. Yes, please!
-cancel Netlfix, keep adobe, maybe cancel WordPress, wait for dad to work out that his phone bill comes out of my direct debit and offer to pay it himself
5.26
everyone’s always got diseases. Mil has completed the Guarm section of the Cowboy Game and just discovered the cowboy has TB. He said Arthur Morgan is one of the most important characters in modern culture; I have to agree, although Mil’s version hasn’t got the long hair or the moustache-stubble or even the bear hat.
5.30
In the parking lot of a Walgreen’s in Big Bear i had the second worst instance of fear ever. We asked the motel receptionist for the nearest pharmacy and missed the exit twice. There are videos of us waking up and her talking in Spanish. There are videos of us in Joshua Tree drinking warm Tecate and saying i love you  out of rote. She said you couldn’t get pregnant on your period but i was in the headspace where you question/google everything instead of trusting yourself/anyone. She remembered it was Sunday, went to fetch a bible from the car, which i didn’t know she had, and recited old testament; i read the first one and a half google results and dressed myself from the open boot of her car. Some woman asked ‘where you goin?’, like flirting.
The wolf hat we bought the night before from a liquor store that had a fun hats section. Like a stuffed wolf toy, but only it’s head and stuck to a skip cap, fur pouring over the sides, enveloping the whole head - fun! the scanner wire wouldn’t stretch to her head, she bent so the cashier could ring it up along with 12 more Tecate.
The toilet we met in, in which we met, was like two cubicles at a time and mine had Bernie stickers all over it. we were being sick at the same time, she hd acid reflux and i said that’s what i had as well. She couldn’t eat meals we never finished a meal together no siree not one, in the space of fifteen meals we either didn’t order or moved stuff around on the plate til it looked like less than it did before. She couldn’t keep anything down and disappeared to the bathroom for minutes at a time and then i would, too.
At Walgreens i’d decided that actually she was hoaxing me, that her saying i love you and wanting to come out here in the first place, us leaving in the dead of night, wanting to get married and crying when i didn’t must have been like a series of jokes to her. She said ‘you want it so you ask’ at the counter and the woman couldn’t understand so she took over, the bear hat bobbing with her rhythms. We left once with the plastic case that you need scissors to cut and i went back in for the scissors. She swallowed with warm water from her trunk, made a face. Her reflux was bubbling. She was in the Walgreens toilet for a long time and then, like Mahershala, we went back to the motel to fuck, and got drunk again and i decided it wasn’t just a joke again, until we got so drunk that she crashed the car driving back in on the 105. Wedging all the empty cans underneath our seats before the highway patrol got to our window was number one worst fear i ever had.
5.33
Hi i’m stephen dorff and this is Interrogation
*jackass theme*
5.34
Ok things i know from the first two and a half eps:
The nerds were into dungeons and dragons
1980, 1990, 2015
My dad turned me against shows where police are the audience surrogate when we watched Zodiac or something else earnest w Mark Ruffalo. My dad: not into police. One time he got very angry when i questioned how anarchistic he was when he implemented a hard bed-time of 10pm. Like maybe the most i managed to intentionally rile him. I was trying to watch Die Hard 2 in bed and invoked the 10pm curfew and questioned why i wanted to watch a film about a copy anyway. But yeah, it’s tough to get behind any of these characters. They’re portrayed as flawed, but lovingly, like you can tell we’re supposed to appreciate their flawed masculinity or whtever.
Pizzolato is AT LEAST a moderate republican, maybe not a Trump guy on a good day, but probably into Paul Ryan.
Dorff’s wig is off-putting
The fellas will return to the house above Devil’s Den
The first two episodes were the best shot. Some of the scenes in the mist at twilight as the police searched the fields were eerie and unsettling. Since then it’s been kinda rote stuff, no flashes. Maybe that helps in establishing the story, but the pace has been slow as hell and could use something fancy to support it.
I do not care about these kids nor who killed/abducted them.
Dorff gets shot at some point. He calls Hays ‘killer’ soo….
5.51
Brown sedan, white suit, some guy with a scar. Dorff demanding two fingers of soco and talking about his dick is funny but not in the way intended.
5.55
Annoyed at whatever the song on Rhythm of the Saints is where he says ‘i was drinking herbal brew’ grow the fuck up
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sh-lan · 7 years
Text
OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???
Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue
It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T
This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu
April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well
oop i just bought more rings goodbye money
my charger broke gg time to get another one
I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back
When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break
SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke
week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker
Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut
First attempt at 양념치킨~
been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T
went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL
currently craving anything strawberry
don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time
under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL
i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole
i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder
Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww
I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):
This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-
Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding
Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone
Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”
Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel
finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE
When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;
어떻게
Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3
highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh
You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol
Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):
i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know
most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA
Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA
Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend
Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop
Dammit i got called for jury duty
Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss
Week 5 i’m sick…
just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago
fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered
thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting
week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school
I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍
I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH
ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now
Really debating the 4th term
third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???
…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear
bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut
i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im
Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired
salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl
I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself
Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad
May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️
im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair
omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL
Just tryna level up here :<
Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning
Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips
watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED
Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me
Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL
i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???
lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever
LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run
Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i
When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh
i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o
Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL
Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed
Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life
May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????
Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH
Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL
Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened
nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL
Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography
Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING
Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”
I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake
Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼
First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list
I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL
i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird
i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL
ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure
omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh
Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;
after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*
okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY
i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-
hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?
burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary
week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home
NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa
“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings
Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol
that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg
dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now
Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit
My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE
Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit
Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….
saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I
put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T
ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM
JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot
i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me
so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts
omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*
Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too
lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home
finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL
and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL
and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ
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heyitsyn · 4 years
Text
Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 4
a/n: uwuwuwuwu @animesportboys​ and i were just talking about this and my heart was just bursting at this thought 😭
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
also requests are currently closed right now since i have like nearly 30 to finish so please be patient with me and wait for me to finish it all and until then i can open them up again. however, dont stop sending me cute stuff okay?  🥺
summary: its the time of the month for seijoh’s manager 🥺
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@ yn when shes extra moody and mean during that time and does this every time she hears anything even come out of the boys’ mouth
oh dear
so basically
it’s,,,,,, a natural thing that most girls go through every month for more than half of their lives and its absolutely D R E A D F U L
the boys ofc knew what the hell a period was bc hello health class so they knew you would become this,,, other version of yourself
youd be moodier, childish, and easy to annoy and snap to everyone
but you would quickly realize how you’re acting then be all regretful and teary and cry easily and then youd forget about it then start the cycle again
you’d stick your tongue out at them and tease them mercilessly, making them run even more laps and pushing them harder
‘I SEE THOSE ARMS SHAKING, IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ADD 15 MORE TO THAT ROUTINE’
‘WHAT?!’
‘IF I SEE YOU EVEN A STEP BEHIND KINDAICHI, YOU WILL BE RUNNING 8 MORE LAPS KUNIMI’
‘NOO!!!!’
‘CHECK YOURSELF OUT ONE MORE TIME, YAHABA, I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES’
‘HAVE MERCY!!!!’
dear god they hated it
when it was time, they would protect themselves and work even harder and be more perfect to make sure you couldnt see their faults and point them out and try and kill them
it was like war for everyone
but they didnt know the exact date it started so they didnt really know when to start preparing for war until it came
this time, you didnt either
you didnt even know you were starting as you were extra busy booking the buses for away comps and collecting and emailing teachers for any missed homeworks for the team
so when it did start,,,
oh dear part 2
it wasnt really something you found out when you woke up that morning but you noticed you must be getting close since you were feeling extra cranky and you havent even been awake for more than an hour
nothing really happened throughout the day so you were just thinking that you didnt get enough sleep last night so you were just tired and wanted to sleep
but then it happened
you were standing next to iwa, reviewing his spike percentages when you shifted your weight to the other leg and then your eyes widened
your water broke
i saw this tiktok of this one girl and she was about to start filming with her friend when her eyes widened and her friend knew immediately and her caption was ‘my water broke’
iwa was worried as heck on to what was going on with you and even followed your gaze to see it on the wall and nothing out of the ordinary
‘y/n?’
‘oh god’
you mumbled and you wanted to run but you were too scared that you leaked and probably have an obvious redness on your white track pants
yep it def was your time bc you felt tears welling up in your eyes and you sniffled, embarrassed and upset for this to happen now, of all times
then oikawa tooru bursted through the doors
iwa, taking his eyes off of you and to the captain, started to yell at him until he noticed the brunette’s flushed face and panting form, hunched over as he gripped on the door handle with the plastic bag
you, too busy trying to think of a way to get out of there like deciding to waddle or to just crawl, didnt see oikawa as he approached you
the team paused and watched as he took a black hoodie from the plastic bag and wrapped it around your waist
‘hmm, y/n-chan, better get dressed so we can go now’
he hummed and you snapped out of your panic and looked up at him with watery eyes
‘oikawa-san’
you whispered and he nodded, eyes knowing what was going on
‘coach, theres a planetarium special tonight’
oikawa shouted without tearing his gaze away from you and coach irihata instantly knew, knowing the code that oikawa came up with when you became a part of the family team
the elder coach made a noise of agreement and oikawa didnt wait to up and carry you in his arms and waved to the team while pushing your head in his chest so you can hide
‘work hard everyone!’
‘oi, shittykawa! what the hell-!’
but an intense side-eye from his best friend shut him up and he knew something happened so he didnt say anything since he trusts oikawa to fix it
‘i trust you will take care of them, iwa-chan’
iwaizumi nodded firmly before shouting to resume back to practice and he himself went back to the line for spikes
you were carried to the bathroom so you could change into your emergency undies and pad and after you did your business, oikawa noticed you uncomfortably waddling towards him so he took you back into his arms
oikawa continued to carry you like his bride down the street towards an unknown destination, humming a children’s show tune that takeru loved to watch, while you maintained curled around yourself, partly due to the shame but also from the pain in your abdomen
you wiped the few stray tears that spilled past your eyes and oikawa chuckled when he noticed you aggressively wipe them off
‘hmm, y/n-chan, you shouldnt do that to yourself. it irritates your eyes and the skin around it so gently dab it next time, kay?’
you nodded, burrowing back to his chest and breathing in his scent
french toast
he smelled like french toast as the smell of caramel and vanilla wafted into your nose
‘howd you know’
you mumbled against the fabric of his jacket
oikawa stopped his humming and replaced it with a chuckle
‘oh, y/n-chan. oikawa-san is a reliable senpai, dont you know? i got a tracker! just for you!’
he answered and your eyes moved from his arm to his smile and you gripped his jacket tighter, fingers curled around it as if it was your lifeline
‘thank you, oikawa-san’
your words of appreciation made oikawa’s heart thump and he faltered a little, blush creeping up his neck, but he fought it down, covering it up with a smirk
‘you should be, y/n-chan! girls would kill to be you right now!’
you rolled your eyes at the return of his cocky attitude but you knew better
the real oikawa tooru was under that mask
turns out, he carried you to his home as his house was the closest while yours had to be taken by a bus
thankfully his parents were out and his sister and nephew were in a trip in tokyo that you had the house to yourselves without anyone asking questions that might make you uncomfortable and them misunderstand
he shut the door with his foot and made his way up the stairs with ease, his strength truly impressing you at that moment, before settling you down on his bed
it wasnt even on purpose but you curled yourself on his blanket, head buried in his pillow
his heart combusted and tooru had to look away or else he wouldve jumped on you and coddled you forever
instead, he quickly ran over and knelt down under his desk to reach for the box that he has prepared for you
‘y/n-chan, i never knew your pattern until last month so i was able to prepare for you now’
you looked up from your position on the bed and sat up enough to see him standing there, grinning with a mint green box
‘wh-what is that?’
you asked and he shuffled over, sitting next to you
‘this, is the y/n care love box! this special box was created by yours truly with everything you want and need during this dreadful week. theres your favorite food, warm socks, coupons you can spend like watching movies and eating ten tubs of ice cream while we talk shit about the boys’
he listed, gripping the box nervously 
‘so? do you like it?’
he looked away from the box and to you but his smile slipped into a panicked one when he saw you silently crying and biting your lip to keep the sobs in
‘y-y/n-chan! i-its okay if y-you dont like it! o-oikawa-san can-’
‘no!’
you cut him off and lunged to hug him with all your might
hehe all might
E A T   T H I S
‘i love you so much, oikawa-san! so much! thank you!’
you sobbed into his neck and he tightly hugged you back, lifting you so you could comfortably sit on his lap straddle him if you want me to be straight forward
oikawa gently moved so he was leaning against the wall that his bed was pressed against while you were pressed against his warmth
his fingers were drawing small circles on your back and whispering corny jokes or puns that made you giggle and laugh and occassionally, he would kiss your nose and you would whine at the ticklish feeling
eyes fleeting around the room, your eyes settled back on the box and you reached out, wanting to grab it until oikawa beat you to it and snatched it for you then placed it on your hold
‘whats inside, oikawa-san?’
you cutely mumbled, sitting comfortably back on his thighs so you could open the box in front of you
oikawa laughed
‘just open it and figure it out yourself, y/n-chan’
you pouted at his tease but smiled widely when you revealed the contents inside
‘oikawa-san!’
his eyes followed your surprised expression and his hands gripped your waist
‘you like it?’
he whispered and you nodded, looking back up at him and kissing his cheek, his 
‘youre so sweet, oikawa-san! like-like this candy bar! howd you know i like this?’
you held up the treat and he shrugged
‘i keep seeing you get it whenever we go to the store’
you continued to sift through the things, seeing a dvd of your favorite movie, a f/c heating pad, a note that said your favorite ice cream was in the fridge, a bag of your favorite chips, fluffy socks, the goodies
you didnt even notice yourself crying again, only realizing it when there were wet spots beneath you
oikawa saw this and he quickly but gently put the box to the side and cradled your face with both of his hands, softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs
‘aw, dont cry, my little baby. princesses should never cry’
you sniffled and choked a laugh
‘hah, n-not a baby. j-just hor-monal’
you complained and oikawa snickered but shook his head then kissed your nose again
‘youre my baby’
you didnt have it in you to complain so you went back to snuggling into him
oikawa squeezed you and went back to drawing the circles on your back and he felt you relax into his touch and slump against his form, slowly starting to snore
your head rested on his shoulder and he turned slightly to watch your eyes flutter and nose scrunch when a strand of your hair fell on it
his heart continued to beat faster and faster and it showed by the way his fingers shook as he carefully lifted the hair away from you
he slowly bent down to give you a kiss on the forehead before laying you down to sleep more comfortably
‘good night, princess’
he sweetly placed a last kiss on your cheek before getting up to go prepare your heating pad for when you wake up
the next few days were possibly the best period days youve ever had
maybe because it was oikawa telling the team that you were in,,,,, satan’s domain currently and they should be careful with you so they tried their best to lift the weight and burden off of your shoulders
however,,
the next day after the incident,,,
they still didnt know what was wrong with you and oikawa forgot to text the gc about your condition so they were still unknowing
like today
during your classes, you were feeling off, almost nauseous but eating little bits of your chocolate treats were helping you get through until lunch
ofc kunimi noticed bc hellow he sits next to you and he doesnt pay attention during class so hes been watching you sneak little bites so the teacher doesnt see and ducking under your book
he was just amused with the way your eyes would widen if you thought the teacher caught you
kindaichi and kunimi and you usually ate lunch together at your classroom since you three only got to hang out as first years during lunch
so they know you usually have a bento with you and have a general idea of how much you eat
and kunimi thought since you ate all those chocolates earlier, you wouldnt eat as much food but then he saw you scarf down your bento, eat 2 more bags of chips and was finishing last chocolate bar
kindaichi,,,, wasnt even finished with his own bento and was watching you, amazed, at how easily you ate all of it
they didnt say anything since they thought you just didnt eat dinner last night but even during the walk towards the gym for after school practice, you were complaining that you were hungry and was eating another chocolate bar
they thought something was truly wrong bc you were eating so much more than usual
kunimi watched you chew on it as you opened the gym door and still ate even when you were talking to mattsun about his jump height
‘man, you sure are hungry, aren’t you, y/n? thats like your fifth chocolate bar today’
kunimi teased, grabbing a ball to spike but he froze, seeing you with the coldest and angriest look hes ever seen
you blinked at him, grip tightening on the treat, and mattsun slowly backing away from you
you advanced towards the blep boy, treat already forgotten and shoved to be held by mattsun 
despite your shorter height than kunimi, he trembled slightly as you looked up at him
‘are you calling me fat, kunimi? are you? am i fat? do you think im ugly? im a piggie?’
you ranted and slowly started crying, making kunimi frantically scramble to stop you before the other upperclassmen see or worse, oikawa-san
‘y/n-wait-no!-um’
‘y/n-chan?’
kunimi shut his eyes tightly in fear at the deadly sweet voice of his captain and kindaichi and mattsun sent a quick prayer to their fellow teammate before he was going to get killed
‘uh oh, i think we’d have to start looking for a replacement for kunimi’
makki, who just arrived, teased making kindaichi fearfully look at him
‘eh?!’
‘oh, you first years have never seen oikawa mad, have ya? well, you’ll get front seat of it!’
mattsun clapped him in the back making him gulp
you werent sobbing but you were definitely crying, tear tracks quickly being wetted by the numerous amount of tears that fell
kunimi scrambled to his knees and folded himself, forehead resting on the floor by his hands
‘I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE DONT KILL ME! I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE FIND MERCY IN YOURSELF AND FORGIVE ME, Y/N-SAMA!’
it was certainly a sight to see
normally calm and collected and chill and relaxed hippie kunimi begging to be forgiven
oikawa stepped forward but you quickly felt the change of your mood, feeling bad for your boy and scrambling to pull him back up
‘oh kunimi-kun! dont kneel like that! the floor is too hard and might give you knee pain!’
it was like whiplash
iwa stepped in the gym and saw the team’s confused and bewildered expressions and saw you, kunimi, and oikawa and he shook his head
this aint even half of bad as he has seen
oikawa gently took you away from kunimi and held you to him instead, giving you a smile, to which you returned, and looked at kunimi, a deadly glint in his eye
‘what happened, y/n-chan?’
the tone of his voice sent a chill to run down everyone’s spines and even iwa, the boy who’s seen this a handful of times, shivered and nervously watched oikawa, ready to jump in
but you just blinked, completely unaware of the change of atmosphere
‘oh, um, i overreacted. i was eating too much food today and mustve annoyed him or something’
you sheepishly mumbled but oikawa was having none of it
‘no, its fine. youre literally bleeding out as we speak! dont feel the need to validate yourself!’
he lightly scolded while you hung your head low and continued to apologize but he gently bonked your head before scolding you again
the team definitely knew now that you were in that,,,, time and they definitely knew now, especially kunimi, that even if youve seen oikawa mad, youd think that the devil was more merciful than him when it relates to the topic of you
a/n: i swear to GGGOOOOODDDDDD im an oikawa whore who cant seem to stop writing for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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