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blindrapture · 4 months ago

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WEDNESDAY JULY 13TH, 2011 ("Operation: RIse Against Fear")

12:32 AM We’ve hit the Kentucky border. Great. Like I care.

12:40 AM Donnie’s trying to grab my hand. I’m trying to drive! >_> Gah. One-track mind.

12:44 AM ..sorry. .____.;; I didn’t mean to get like that. I.. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

12:56 AM I hate.. I hate something. Myself, probably. It’s who I always hate, after all. I am the sickness, and I’m down. ..ooh-wah-ah-ah-ah? God, that was cheesy. …heh. Like, wow. That was insanely cheesy. Even for me. Hahahahahahaha. Ha. What was I even mad about earlier? Ah, who cares.

1:49 AM Hitchhikers!

1:50 AM They kicked us out of the car and drove off.

2:29 AM I did not miss the slowness of walking. "It definitely sucks." We can’t even listen to music. And I've got an Alice in Chains craving! "We didn't have any Alice in Chains." Yeah, it was kind of burning in the back of my mind even still. It's "The Man in the Box," I want that song. It was in Rock Band 2. "That's a good song. That was in Rock Band?" I'm telling you, the best setlists in either the games or music industry were in those games. "I liked Guitar Hero 3." Yeah, see, you're missing out. There's a whole thing, I can prove algebraically that Rock Band was leagues above Guitar Hero. I mean, RB3 was seen as a weirder setlist, but I think it just needed more time to grow on people. The fact of the matter is, the RB trilogy is unrivaled. You'd be hard-pressed to find a single mediocre song. Case in point: “Pull Me Under” is Dream Theater’s only hit single in their, what, 26-year career, yet when Harmonix decided to give them a song in Rock Band 2, they instead chose “Panic Attack.” Neversoft played it safe in Guitar Hero 4 and chose the hit single, while Harmonix made sure to choose a song that would be downright impossible to play on all instruments. Harmonix knows what they’re doing. They don’t just choose the popular songs; they choose the songs that will be fun to play. Because every member of Harmonix is a musician in some way. Who better to craft a music game? And, y'know, Harmonix were the creators of Guitar Hero. They made the first two, then went off and made Rock Band as just.. a Bigger and Better kind of thing. Meanwhile, Guitar Hero gets Neversoft assigned to them, and look, I love Neversoft! I grew up with the Tony Hawk games! THUG and THAW were my childhood! But Neversoft are good at making skateboarding games. They're not musicians; they can't compete with Harmonix, and they'd never beat them at their own game. ...literally! ...I mean. Am I going on? "I like it." :) Ah, Harmonix! You and Valve were my all-time favourite video game developers.

2:38 AM I remember reading an article, an interview with a couple Valve employees. They talked about the way Valve works. And it was like first fuckin’ contact with an alien species! They said that there are essentially no higher-ups in that company, no set agendas, no status quo, no conventional business structure at all. The way they decide what game they’re gonna make next? Someone experiments and makes a little demo— entirely by themselves or with whoever else wants to help— and tries to get more and more people to help him make it. That is it. Can you believe it? o_o "o_o" So the only reason Half-Life 2: Episode Three never came out was because nobody actually got around to finishing it. ..I’m sure there were more complicated reasons than that; I respect Valve more than that.

5:35 AM Decided to stop at the nearest hotel. We’ve been walking for so goddamn long, though we’ve been trying to make it easier by talking about just about anything we could think of. Video games, movies, even resorted to talking about porn at one point. (There were opinions to be had...) Map says we’re about halfway through Kentucky now. We’re making great progress! But then again, we just lost our car, so.. this next leg might be a lot slower than before. And plus we’ve still got to pass through Missouri before we reach Nebraska, let alone even California... ugh. Anyway, Donnie and I are talking about our plans for this journey. We know, maybe even more than trying to get to any physical destination, we’re gonna have to figure out how to find the Cipher. Me, I’m kinda hoping we’ll run into EAT again. She has her suspicions about that thing. “It’s a Fear. It’s no different from the Harlequin. It’s planning something. When we get past a Fear unscathed, we're not safe, our backs are turned. And that one knows a lot about us.” I.. don’t know what to say to that! She could very easily be right. But in the end, I told her the fact that EAT knows so much about us is also what makes it our best bet at the moment. It’s a being of knowledge; we’re X factors. It’s not gonna attack us unless we prove ourselves to be a threat. Besides. The Ciphers seem to be the answer. We scared Archie and the Musicians last time, didn’t we? ..right?

1:11 PM Awake now. Nice sleep. Dreamed of sweet foods. ..wow, Donnie looks great today. .w.; Well. Time to resume our long walk. ^^;;

1:13 PM Wait a minute. We just entered a rabbit hole, didn’t we? I mean, we’re kinda now in Rachael Land.

1:20 PM Oh, now all the Rachaels are crowding around me. I’m making sure Donnie stays close. ..oh, now they.. left. o_o

1:24 PM Donnie says they’re all glaring at her. ..I don’t see them doing that.

1:30 PM I asked a Rachael where I might find the exit to this rabbit hole. She asked which exit I wanted. I said I wanted to go to Nebraska, specifically, but anywhere close is good. Then she looked at Donnie and said she’s not helping us. So now we’re on our own. Now, I admit, I can see them glaring. Tiger Stripes is at the ready.

1:37 PM Some Rachaels are coming our way. Some are cracking their knuckles. I am so ready fo oh Donnie says she’s got this.

1:38 PM holy shit. o_o She really does got this.

1:40 PM She fucking wiped the floor. Owo;; Oh shit, look out, second wave! She threw her frying pan on the ground and pulled out the empty rifle. She's swinging it like a baseball bat.

1:44 PM That one’s got a gun. Donnie’s got her hands full. I’m not just gonna stand here.

1:45 PM HELLO MEET X-PLORER Got her hand, dropped the gun. Good. Now the Rachaels are coming for me too. Tiger Stripes, we’re gonna have to strike harder than we really want to.

1:48 PM RACHAELS WITH SHOTGUNS FUCKING REALLY? "Hold onto your hat, let's go!" yes, ma'am!!!

1:49 PM DOWN THIS ALLEYWAY

1:50 PM MOVE IT BLUES BROTHERS …WAIT

1:85 PM A voice speaks to me: "Do you want to see?" Repression, obsession, lay your character bare. You make a good pair.

4:44 PM Ugh. Where the hell are we now. It’s a house. …OH hello dead person on the floor. I’ve gotten pretty used to this by now. Where’s Donnie there she is hi. Okay. Next step is to figure out where we are.

4:48 PM This seems to be a town. Not sure how big it is yet. SCREAM what What’s happening.

4:49 PM ..a lady ran out of the house and called us monsters. o_o Now she’s chasing us!

4:58 PM Crowd of people, hoping they’re people and not zombies!

4:59 PM Yep, people. The crowd’s shutting up, the lady stopped chasing us. A man’s coming up to find out what the hubbub is.

5:00 PM The lady called us monsters, and we said we weren’t. The crowd’s pretty sure we’re not monsters. The lady said we killed the mayor. We said we didn’t; we just arrived via rabbit hole. The crowd believes us. Now the dude’s gonna speak to us in private.

5:40 PM He told us what was going on. Apparently, we found a sanctuary under armed protection. Apparently, we’re in East Saint Louis, Illinois. Just a little further west is the state of Missouri, actually. Apparently, the organization protecting this town calls themselves “Operation: Rise Against Fear.” It's a reference to the international organization, but word is flaky on if they're actually related. And apparently, the organization’s logo is a faceless suited man flipping off the slender man. Are you starting to get the picture, journal? Okay, last clue: A good portion of the people in this town keep a Guy Fawkes mask with them. These guys are Anonymous. ..well, I mean, to be exact, they were formed by various members of Anonymous. That was kind of a big project, after all. But this was one of their branches. They must be at least competent at defending people?

5:45 PM The guy I’ve been speaking to tells me a black dog’s been spotted. Well, he said the black dog. Because apparently the Black Dog is a Fear. It’s said to be a deathly omen.

7:21 PM Donnie and I have decided we’re not gonna leave these guys on their own. We’re spending the night with these guys. We support their cause. Besides, it’s about time we stood up to the Fears.

8:19 PM Dinner time, hell yes.

8:22 PM Good god. The whole town has gathered into this hall just to receive some food. These guys look skinnier than I expected.

8:30 PM I was just asked why I’ve got so much meat on my bones. …I don’t. o_o I'm kinda unhealthily thin?

8:41 PM This man wants Donnie to go with him. I asked if I can go along. Donnie assured me she’ll be fine. ..well, okay. ._.;;

9:05 PM Donnie’s back. She says the man told her we look like Fears; people don’t trust us. Apparently, it’s because we look too young, too normal. Everyone around here’s pretty much either starving or dying of some disease, and here we are, two relatively not-bad-looking kids with absurd clothing and strange weapons just waltzing on in via rabbit hole! So he gave her two Guy Fawkes masks to disguise ourselves. And then he tried to make some advances on her. She says she took good care of that problem, though; Donnie can really take care of herself. ..she winced a little after saying it. ._.

9:39 PM The people around here are offering us a place to stay. Well. I mean. I guess sleeping would be nice!

11:00 PM Knock knock. I’ll get it.

11:01 PM Oh, it’s an Anon. See, Guy Fawkes mask. It’s the mark of the culture. :3 ..o____o SHUTTHEDOOR WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK THATWASN’TANANON OHMYGOD OHMYGOD WHATTHEFUCK That guy’s mask wasn’t a mask, it was his face. o__e Its mouth moved, its eyes blunk, it breathed. whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

11:05 PM Donnie took a peek outside. There’s no one out there now. Ohhhhh, I have a bad feeling about this.

11:08 PM Guy Fawkes masks? In the trash.

11:11 PM I WISH SHIT WOULD GO WELL FOR US. I wish shit would go so well for us. ohgod

11:13 PM At the heavy advisement of my cohort, I’m.. I’m going to try to get some sleep.

11:20 PM We’re talking about methods of relaxation and stopping panic. Donnie knows a lot about it. ..hugging her.

11:35 PM ..are you sure you’re okay, ma’am? After all the excitement and after that guy.. “I’m fine.” You’re shaking. “I don't want to talk about it.” Well… you don't have to. But I want to say something. Donnie, you've been an angel to me, placing your trust in me and working to keep me up and going. Ever since we met, you've been an unexpected friend, flawless and selfless. And I need to do the same for you. I need to back you up. I need to listen to you. And I need to make sure you know that we're in this together. I've got your back. …"Thanks." We're not in a safe place here, I don't think. We're getting back on the road tomorrow. "Yeah. That's a good idea." ...I'm going to hug you now, if that's alright. "Please do."

(Attached: “As an aside: The narrative of the world, as it were, doesn’t quite match the flow of Jordan’s journals. When he and Donnie were trapped in Blackpool, a team of scientists in South America had the idea to sail to Antarctica and hold a global convention with lead scientists from the rest of the world. Contrary to what one might expect, that actually worked. In fact, the plan may have been communicated a little bit too well. When the day of the convention came– I believe the date was June 30th, not that it’s important– the hall was well beyond capacity. One headcount later, and they realized they were trapped on a frozen continent with Camper. Jump forward to this date, that of July 13th, and the narrative of the world had hit a sort of rock bottom. China had completely abandoned its west half, electing to migrate east for reasons I’m actually not all that sure about. I think it was a nasty case of Eldritch Bear. Either that or the abundant fertile soil in the east. Yeah, maybe it was that one. South Africa, however, may have been the only country not totally lost of hope. Their local sect of Rise Against Fear-ites were quite successful in recruiting members, and as much as the Fears like to boast about their ‘eldritch’ this and 'incomprehensible’ that, they don’t really fare well when against literal armies of gunfire and all-terrain vehicles. But yeah, generally people were fucked. See, for another example, Sweden. What’s that? You can’t see it? Not anymore.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

#ogtrib #oh god the rapture is burning #ogtrib act 2

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heyhilana · 4 years ago

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50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @harryandthatgayvodka (thanks lovely)

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

It’s just a brown color because my brush is just super simple.

2.) Name a food you never eat

I hate to say this because people will seriously question me for why I won’t eat it but anything that has to do with pasta. I just don’t like it and yes, I have tried multiple versions of pasta and I really don’t like it.

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

I’m usually too warm. I love being cold because it takes nothing for me to get hot. But, it’s not completely bad because I am a human heater for some of my colder peeps which offers me free hugs, cuddles, and a chance to be cold for a little while because they can cool me off while I warm them up.

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

I was watching One Punch Man. It’s actually not bad to watch and I’m on the second episode now :)

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

Usually Twix or Snickers.

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

Yeah I’ve been to a couple of them and I want to go to more of them.

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

I said that I was hungry because I’m always hungry for some food lmao.

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

I like anything that’s vanilla flavored and if I want to eat some ice cream that is really bad for me, I get the cookies and cream one or the reeces pieces one :)

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water because we have to all stay hydrated :)

10.) Do you like your wallet?

Uh, I don’t hate it but I do need to get a new one since it’s been through a lot.

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

Yogurt and a protein shake.

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

I got two new shirts that are super cute :)

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

It was a rerun of some baseball game. I believe it was the Mets vs. Marlins game.

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Regular or white cheddar? They both slap.

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

My best friend :)

16.) Ever go camping?

Nope but if I was not so fearful of someone attacking me at night and the whole bugs all around me thing I would do it. I mean, think about all the stargazing that you can do during camping.

17.) Do you take vitamins?

No because I haven’t found vitamins that don’t make me feel weird afterwards.

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope. I’m not religious really.

19.) Do you have a tan?

Not as of late since I have been avoiding the sun but I do tan easily.

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

Gosh that’s hard so I would say a tie?

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

Nope I just drink it regular.

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

Black or grey.

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

It depends on where I’m at because well I don’t want to get in trouble or hurt somebody?

24.) What terrifies you?

I think not living the right way is what terrifies me. I want to do it all my way, even if it gets me hurt because I don’t want to die thinking that I lived on someone else’s terms.

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

I see my nightstand, my lamp, and my book that I picked out recently.

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

Usually anything that has to do with laundry because it’s just annoying.

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

Uh nobody really?

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

Sprite is my favorite.

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

Drive through because I’m usually in a rush.

30.) What’s your favorite number?

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

My best friend because she’s awesome.

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

I don’t eat beef anymore but I would say whatever is just really bad for me. The worse it is, the more younger me would have wanted to eat it.

33.) Last song you listened to?

Favorite Mistake by Giveon.

34.) Last book you read?

The last book that I finished was They Both Die at the End. The last book that I read/started is All the Light we Cannot See.

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I get maybe 8 letters in and then I crash.

36.) Favorite day of the week?

Saturday because it’s usually a day off :)

37.) How do you like your coffee?

Usually anything cold brew because I really don’t like hot drinks and nothing overly sweet because it will make me sick sometimes.

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

Anything vans or converse related.

39.) Time you normally wake up?

Anywhere between 10-11 am since I go to sleep hella late all the time.

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

Sunsets because the sky just looks heavenly.

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

One and I barely use it. I use the sheet since I get hot way too fast in my sleep.

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

I have two sets. One is a green set that is super simple and the other is a fancier set that has a marble look to it.

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

It’s all cleaned up since I went on a cleaning blitz today.

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

I don’t have one actually. I just don’t care to drink all the time.

45.) Do you play cards?

Yes but not all the time.

46.) What color is your car?

It’s black.

47.) Can you change a tire?

No, but I am planning on learning.

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

I like California because it’s just so laid back compared to where I live. It’s just a whole other world out there.

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

I don’t think I have one since I’m incredibly lazy lmao.

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

I have a scar on my leg from when I was a toddler. Strangely enough, I don’t know how I got it but I know that it’s fun to look at because it reminds me of my fun times as a kid.

Tagging: @agirllovespasta @halfwaythereroyal @archqtype @engineeredfiction

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cousinbarnabas · 6 years ago

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Hey, nobody's more surprised than I am that you're reading this. The Collinsport Historical Society podcast began its slide into oblivion the day my son was born in 2014. My plans that day involved sitting on a convention panel with Sharon Lentz and (I think?) Butch Patrick for a discussion about classic television. Instead, I spent the day at a hospital trying to deal with the possibility that that my wife and child were going to die. (While also messaging one of the original cast members of Dark Shadows to let her know I was going to miss the convention, because my life is fucking weird.)

If you're a follower of this website, you already know things worked out just fine for all involved. As of today, about 67% of the members of my household have their own podcast, and it's probably just a matter of time before that number climbs to 100% (my son has opinions about Mister Rogers he'd like to share with you). It's been a struggle getting from there to here. But I'm back, and I have a mission.

I've been running this website for seven years, often haunted by a singular regret: Dark Shadows has an incredibly diverse audience, but that audience hasn't always been represented here. The Collinsport Historical Society has usually been, if you'll excuse the expression, a sausage fest. Ball soup. Cock salad. Lots of straight white men doing what straight white men do best, which is hijack a dialogue to suit our own needs. We mean well, don't get me wrong. This website is woke as hell, but being woke is generally a luxury few can afford. For everybody else, being "woke" is just "life." With this first episode I'm taking a step toward trying to widen our narrow perspective.

And this is one of the reasons why the first episode of The Collinsport Historical Society is such a beast. It runs almost two and a half hours ... longer than any of the Dark Shadows feature films ... which seems excessive, right? But there's a method to my madness! Here's the pitch:

Newspaper and magazine design works to expose you to news ideas. Turn to any given page and you'll likely find stories with varied subjects, a device that exposes you to ideas you might not otherwise have sought out. Facebook has pruned those ideas to the bone, not only giving you fewer stories in a day than you once might have seen, but also allowing you to amputate entire perspectives from your personal experience. It would be more practical (and result in more traffic) for me to release all seven segments in this podcast individually ... but I want you to listen to them all, not just the contributors you're most comfortable with. Sure, you can still skip ahead in the podcast if you want. But you're going to have to make an effort to do so.

And holy hell, the line-up I've got for you in this episode. Dana Gould has generously lent his time and talent to the CHS, a selfless gesture that will almost certainly do irreparable harm to his career. I've been a fan of Dana's since seeing him on Paul Provenza's Comics Only on Ha! (Google it) so it's exciting to have him involved in this. Thank you, Dana.

The reason this podcast exists at all, though, is because of Ella Minnope. Back in February she sent me a pitch for a podcast. Before I could tell her that I was mostly out of the podcast game, she began sending improvised recordings to illustrate what her idea might sound like. It was great, and I thought everybody should hear it ... but it was a little short to be published as an independent feature. Invites were sent, content was discussed and POOF! the podcast returned from the grave. If you like this podcast, make sure to thank Ella on Twitter.

The theme of the first episode is "Runs in the Family," an idea that sprang from a song by Amanda Palmer that has always reminded me of the multi-generational dysfunction of Dark Shadows. You'll find the theme of "family" running throughout all of the segments in this episode, from the comfort that Alice Collins' found in the familiar dysfunction of the series, to a reunion of Jonathan Frid's professional family at Clunes Associates on the anniversary of his death.

What's new? If you're already subscribing to the podcast, you don't have to do anything. Your still signed up to get it. For the time being, episodes of the Bodice Tipplers podcast are still in our archives (we're working on getting them their own dedicated podcast server) but everthing else has been tossed into the vaults for the time being.

You can download the new episode directly HERE, subscribe to it on iTunes, and listen to it on Spotify, Overcast and pretty much anyplace that hosts podcasts.

Here's what you can expect in this episode:

2:12 Evolving in the Shadows with Ella Minnope Ella Minnope talks about how the romantic aesthetic of the deep South compares to the dysfunctional Collins family.

6:30 Night Rally with Dana Gould

Dana Gould discusses the Kennedys, the real-life family that could give the Collinses runs for their money in The Suffering Olympics.

14:02 The Dark Shadows Daybook with Patrick McCray Patrick McCray and Justin Partridge have a drink at The Blue Whale and talk about Master of Dark Shadows, how the show speaks to the lonely and why the 1897 storyline is like an episode of "Fantasy Island" for Barnabas Collins.

49:23 The House by the Sea with Jessica Dwyer Jessica Dwyer explains why the sins of Collinsport's royal family aren't always that sinful.

101:04 The Clunes Reunion On the seventh anniversary of Jonathan Frid's death, his production staff and creative collaborators reunite in New York City.

131:44 My Drawing Room with Alice Collins Alice Collins talks about discovering "Dark Shadows" on The Sci-Fi Channel while home sick from school at age 11, and seeing something familiar in the show's themes and characters.

138:18 Big Finish's Welcome to Collinsport The producers of Big Finish's line of "Dark Shadows" audio dramas talk about why extending the show's storyline has always been about extending the Collins family.

The Dark Shadows theme is performed by Valentine Wolfe.

#Dark Shadows #Dana Gould #amanda palmer

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starchild--27 · 5 years ago

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85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake . This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do.

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long

36. do you have a crush on someone - if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

#tag game

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cosmosogler · 7 years ago

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all things considered this evening was fantastic. i won a bottle cap in the lottery (after winning a gold one the other day AND a master ball yesterday), i listened to two episodes of the adventure zone, AND the pokemon competition sign-ups opened again so i registered right away.

i even got up more or less on time. i slept in a little bit... just until 9:40. i took off some of the surgical tape while i was in the shower and found the incisions were a lot smaller than i thought they would be. they haven’t healed fully yet but i don’t think the tape was going to be much help at this point anyway. and it’s been way longer than the 10 day period i was supposed to keep them on.

i left the three strips of tape covering my bellybutton on because when i see the small puddle of blood that they picked up i figure that cut is either a lot deeper than the others, or that part of your abdomen is just really bloody? since the tape hadn’t even loosened up over that area i just left it alone. i managed to scrub off a lot more of the bandage residue too. now i just look like i got poked really hard in a couple places. with a knife.

as i wrote earlier i asked dad if he wanted thai food for lunch. over an hour after i asked he started yelling for me and asked where i’d been and if i wanted to go or not. i told him i’d been waiting for him and he acted like it was my responsibility to just... come down and check in on time every ten minutes until he wanted to leave or something?

so we went out for thai. even though elton john was on the radio i was pretty hurried about putting my headphones in to project more closed-offness so maybe that would discourage dad from trying to talk about politics with me. i guess it worked because he didn’t say anything going there or coming back except to talk about how i was handling the food.

i got super sick but i’m not gonna let that stop me. for a bit during the car ride i thought about deliberately keeping information from people and how weird it felt. over the years my silence has gone from “i have a reason not to say this” to “i don’t have a reason to say this.” i guess that makes it wayyyyy easier to keep secrets.

maybe that’s part of what is taking up all my mental energy. keeping which people i’m not telling what information straight is a hassle but i can’t not do it.

i was kinda bummed because i asked for my dish to be “between mild and medium” since they don’t have the 5-scale at that restaurant, but the chef must have thought i was a baby or something because there was no spice at all in neither the soup nor my noodles. i felt kinda bad about asking them to water down their dish so much, and it really didn’t taste as complete without the spice. the soup was kinda sour and since it didn’t have any bite it came off as salty. it was still really good with the lemongrass and stuff but i miss eating spicy things so much already.

i guess it feels, like, almost inappropriate to ask a family-owned place like that to make their dish bland. it bothered me even though i am physically incapable of eating spicy food for at least a few more days/weeks and i just like their food so much. getting sick was totally worth it at least.

going full “hot” level is always too much for me to handle but i feel like maybe if i burn myself on my food enough times i’ll start building a tolerance for it. i handle most mexican food just fine.

anyway, eve has made some headway on chewing through her bandage. not a lot of headway, but i noticed the tape we had held the gauze together with is broken in a lot of places. enough that the gauze has come unraveled around her ankle. it’s already gotten so dirty from her walking around the yard and stuff that i’m not sure re-wrapping it would be a good idea. the wounds on her leg are kind of exposed and i don’t want to get them dirty at all.

tomorrow i’m gonna try to drive. i got therapy in the afternoon. i haven’t taken painkillers in roughly a week now and i can bend over in most directions. and it’s well after when a normal follow-up appointment would be so i figure i should be at least mostly good to go.

god though the adventure zone is so funny. i love it. i hope i can find something idle enough to do while i listen to it in the future. i’ve fished up so many bottle caps... i only need two more and i’ll have all of my *new* pokemon hyper trained. like, the shinies i had in other generations that i just couldn’t use because their stats sucked. i have a shiny altaria from my brother’s game. it’s named “churpy”.

i may require luis or eric’s aid soon. several pokemon without nicknames running around in my boxes now.

is this what... being in a good mood feels like? that is a lot of power. i’m not sure what to do with all this strange experience. it’s not that... i’m feeling physically great. my body is still telling me “there’s a giant hole where the gallbladder used to be and i don’t like it.” still not looking forward to the future or studying much physics. but... i don’t really feel particularly bad about anything?? i mostly just feel kind of sleepy. and look at that, it’s 12:30! i could go to bed at my ACTUAL BEDTIME for once. and even GET UP ON TIME!!!

i should start moving my sleep schedule up a little bit. i gotta get up for eve’s surgery on friday around 7 at the latest. i’m not gonna... not go with her. that would be really confusing and scary. if i wasn’t there to greet her and sit in the car with her after something this major.

here’s what i’m gonna do. on thursday i’m gonna see about downloading a couple episodes of the adventure zone or something. maybe on itunes, i have a gift card floating around my desk area somewhere. then i will sit in the waiting room at the office and listen to the podcast and try very hard not to laugh while waiting with other people and their sick pets.

i mean... what else am i gonna do. worst case scenario i could bring super mystery dungeon and try to play that, though toward the last few missions there my reactions were getting a little heated. they were really hard and depended a lot on the rng. but it wasn’t easy to get to the random part so you usually just end up wasting a lot of time.

it’s good to have options. i still haven’t thought about what i would like to talk with my therapist about. maybe just preparing for the move i guess. i wanted to have a few topics to “wrap up” in the next two sessions before i leave. but so much of my life the last eight months has been kind of just surviving day to day. it’s hard to pick out a theme to focus on.

there’s not much more i can do to address my reservations about meeting my new classmates. i know that they will probably be fine to talk to and get along with but working with them will drain my confidence hardcore. i guess in that case i could talk a bit about impostor syndrome. taylor and i talked about it a little bit at my party on saturday. but it was more of a “haha i know the feel” sort of conversation than a “how do i solve this problem” one.

one thing i could do to make myself more comfortable going in is to spend some time looking at the city on google maps and stuff. i won’t be able to do much with addresses but knowing the layout and things that are generally close to or reachable from my apartment complex might be helpful. and i could look at some more physics materials. i don’t think i’m quite at the “practice problem” point yet but... the only way to get there is to keep trying. i’ll do some of that in the morning. taz podcasts are more of an evening deal.

and, of course, i always have the rest of the self esteem modules i didn’t finish. coulddddddd be helpful to put more work into that.

i also told mother that if it was still muggy and not death hot outside tomorrow i would take wiley for a walk. he’s been super restless the last few days. and he gets overheated when he’s got too much energy in the morning or evening and won’t stop running.

ok. battle plan. a little pressure, but not too much pressure. i will consult this entry in the morning and try to get some of those things worked on.

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southernconstellatiions · 7 years ago

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Get to know me!

Tagged by @pyroinquisitor !!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people

THE LAST:

1. Drink: i had an orange soda with lunch xD 2. Phone call: i called my mom to have her pick me up so i could do laundry o: 3. Text message: sent a snap to my boyfriend telling him i love him and to he safe while hes delivering food in the rain 💕 4. Song you listened to: motion sickness by neck deep (im so excited for the new album) 5. Time you cried: tbh i just cry in my sleep sometimes because im a mess and constantly over stress and worry about everything xD

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: only this one time a year ago because my boyfriend was going through a rough time and we took a ‘break’ kinda ;-; 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah, all my exes and more than once ive played drunk spin the bottle 8. Been cheated on: every relationship except this one :s 9. Lost someone special: lost, as in died? only family members when i was a lot younger. im absolutely terrified of anything ever happening to my boyfriend or my mom 10. Been depressed: once i didnt leave the house for three months straight so take a wild guess lol 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i spent most of my freshman year drunk but i hold my liquor real well so thats always been good xD

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14. dark blue, purple, and red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: kinda, in a way? 16. Fallen out of love: no, thankfully i fall more in love each day 17. Laughed until you cried: at least five times that i can think of 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not that im aware of which is hopefully good 19. Met someone who changed you: met him years ago xD 20. Found out who your friends are: ive only got like three and im okay with that 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i dont technically use facebook but my boyfriend was on my facebook list

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: maybe less than a hundred, the other 4500 friends and 2000 subscribers are all from when i did sitemodeling years ago because i was an emo fuck 23. Do you have any pets: eight dogs xD 24. Do you want to change your name: maybe my last name xp 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went out to this bar where they make you custom cheeseburgers with my boyfriend, mom and her boyfriend 26. What time did you wake up: around 5pm like usual :p 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the last episode of K o: 28. Name something you can’t wait for: my boyfriend to get home from work and to get a car since i finally got my license xD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: two nights ago o: 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: if i could be a little skinnier and rich thatd be great xD 31. What are you listening to right now: the new episode of teen mom 2 xD 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: when i was in high school i knew this guy i called handshake guy because he never gave me hugs and i didnt know his name, but he finally rold me what it was the day he left school 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: how hot it is, 110°+ daily is absolutely ridiculous. thankfully monsoon season makes it slightly more bearable at night 34. Most visited website: probably twitter or tumblr 35. Mole/s: none 36. Mark/s: i have a scar on my knee from when i fell down a hill on elementary school during olympics day xD 37. Childhood dream: to eat more party pizzas than anyone in the worls 38. Hair colour: my original hair color is an ugly brown :/ but at the moment its half blue and half purple 39. Long or short hair: definitely long, my hairs never been shorter than my shoulders, right now its mid-back 40. Do you have a crush on someone: my love cx 41. What do you like about yourself?: i have good relationships and good taste in anime 42. Piercings: nose and snakebites but ive had so many more 43. Blood type: never gotten my blood drawn and havent been to a doctor since i was in elementary school so who the hell knows xD 44. Nickname: kaylaa, lightpole #1, white grape 45. Relationship status: taken 💗 46. Zodiac: scorpio 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV Show(s): game of thrones, naruto, one punch man, greys anatomy and like a billion more xD 50. Right or left hand: im ambidextrous which is pretty convenient sometimes lol 51. Surgery: none, that shits scary 52. Hair dyed in different colour: red, blue, pink, blonde, black, purple, brown, white, yellow 53. Sport: i hate sports and ive never played anything. i even took online pe to graduate lol 55. Vacation: id love to go to Japan or Europe. my favorite places ive been are washington and pennsylvania 56. Pair of trainers: idk what that’s referring to xD

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: wish i could be eating taco bell 58. Drinking: nothing o: 59. I’m about to: finish this episode of reen mom and then go to walmart xD 61. Waiting for: my love to get off work 62. Want: unlimited money xD 63. Get married: i neved wanted to but now i do 64. Career: id love to make a career out of my mosaics and stained glass

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: my boyfriend gives me these super big hugs and kisses my face all over and its one of my favorite things cx 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach xD 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i suppose o: but my boyfriend gets loud and excited when he’s playing games with his friends and its cute seeing him all happy cx 72. Hook up or relationship: def. relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, ive had enough trouble throughout my life xD

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: during drunk spin ths bottle years ago lol 75. Drank hard liquor: so damn much 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: forever thankful i have perfect eyesight xD 77. Turned someone down: so many people tbh 78. Sex on the first date: nah 79. Broken someone’s heart: tbh probably 80. Had your heart broken: not yet thankfully 81. Been arrested: when i stole stuff from walmart in high school :/ 82. Cried when someone died: mmhmm 83. Fallen for a friend: my best friend and its been the best thing thats ever happened to me c:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: ehh 86. Love at first sight: kinda cx 87. Santa Claus: no xD 88. Kiss on the first date: thats fine i guess as long as it goes well??

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: lorenzo 💕 91. Eye colour: this greyish color :o 92. Favourite movie: balto, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, just like heaven o:

#me #tag #didnt upload right at first lol

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one-soul-two-brothers · 8 years ago

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Dreamweaver

season 12 stories [part II]

Jensen was back in Vancouver again, filming episode…20? 21? He couldn’t remember, he was so tired that it felt like his brain had liquefied. He was riding in the backseat of the SUV, head lolling on Jared’s shoulder. He could see Clif looking at them every so often in the rearview mirror. Jensen couldn’t tell if the expression on his face was one of fondness or one of warning; maybe a mix of the two. He had no energy to care right now; then again, he really hadn’t cared for awhile now. He was getting bolder, Jared was getting even more handsy, and he just couldn’t care anymore.

Jensen felt the car stop and realized that his eyes were closed. When he finally managed to open them, Jared was sliding out of the car and gently pulling Jensen along with him. They were in front of the building where Jensen’s apartment was located. On paper it was only his, but in reality it was Jared’s as well. Jared had his own, though it was mostly just for the sake of appearances and used as extra storage space for them both. They usually stayed at Jensen’s because his was closer to set, which meant more time that they could spend in bed (though usually that just meant them passed out from exhaustion).

Jared had to half-drag, half-carry Jensen through the lobby and to the elevators. Jensen dozed off while they were waiting, his head once again resting on Jared’s shoulder. Jared shook him awake.

“Dude, you just fell asleep standing up.” He was giving Jensen that smile that said normally he’d be laughing but it was too late and they were too tired and he didn’t want to make any noise. Jensen loved that smile because he was the only one who ever got to see it.

“Yeah, ‘m kinda tired,” Jensen practically slurred.

“You sound drunk,” Jared replied as the elevator doors opened. Jensen couldn’t argue; sleep deprivation always hit him hard, making him act loopy one minute and falling-down drunk the next. And it happened often, which was no surprise. Being one of two leads on an hour-long TV show, which seemed to have the requirement that at least 60% of every episode happen at night, meant lots of late night shoots and early morning calls. He learned to live with it, and being able to use Jared at a personal pillow helped quite a bit.

Somehow they made it up to the apartment and inside, and Jared threw his keys on the table by the door.

“All right, time for bed,” he whispered in Jensen’s ear.

“Nngh,” Jensen agreed as Jared practically carried him into their room. Jensen flopped back sideways onto the bed, legs hanging off so that Jared could get his shoes and jeans off. They’d done this dance countless times, Jensen didn’t even need to count the steps anymore.

Jared made short work of both of their clothes. Jensen felt warm and pliable beneath his partner’s capable hands, and just managed to help Jared twist him longways onto the bed. Jared was strong but Jensen was practically dead weight at this point. Jared slipped into the bed and pulled the covers up around them. Jensen hummed and snuggled close to Jared.

The way they interacted at cons made it seem like Jared was always the more touchy-feely one, but behind closed doors it was a different story. It was Jensen who, at the end the day, exhausted from eighteen hours of filming or an amazing round (or two or three) of sex, completely glommed onto Jared. Tonight was no different as Jared settled onto his back and Jensen rolled onto his side, pushing his body flush again Jared’s. One of Jensen’s hands snaked up and tangled in Jared’s hair while the other one wrapped around Jared’s waist. One leg was thrown over Jared’s thighs, effectively trapping Jared in a Jensen cocoon.

It was nights like this that Jensen loved. Sure, it was 4am and he’d been up for almost 24 hours and he was completely spent, but it was still and quiet in their apartment and in the city outside, and he could pretend he and Jared were the only two people in the world. And with their bodies pressed together like this, Jensen couldn’t help feeling like his very molecules were sinking into the spaces between Jared’s own, fitting together like atomic puzzle pieces. One time he told a crowd that he and Jared were made for each other, but that didn’t even begin to describe how intertwined they were.

“I can feel you smiling,” Jared murmured. “What’re you thinkin’ about?” Jared’s Texas drawl was getting more pronounced as he got closer to sleep, and it sent warmth shooting through Jensen’s body, partly from arousal and partly from a feeling of just being home.

“Molecules,” Jensen whispered in reply. Jared chuckled.

“Babe, you sound stoned.”

“Our molecules, Jare,” Jensen tried to clarify. “They fit, y’know?” He somehow found the energy to slide himself on top of Jared, letting his weight rest fully on on his partner. He found Jared’s mouth with his own and they kissed deeply, Jensen’s tongue flicking around and then between Jared’s parted lips. Jared moaned and Jensen felt him harden beneath him.

“Mm, happy t’see me babe?” Jensen chuckled and Jared groaned again, his hips bucking up slightly before he gently pushed Jensen back to his side.

“God, Jen…you’re killin’ me. But you are really out of it right now, I can’t.”

“Hmph,” Jensen grunted.

“Tomorrow morning, k babe?” Jared whispered, then kissed Jensen’s forehead, nose, lips, then forehead again. Jensen hummed quietly in agreement before passing out.

~ ~ ~

Jensen was standing on stage in front of a couple dozen fans, his head hanging down slightly with his forehead pressed again the microphone. Jared was sitting on the edge of the stage listening to a fan who was crying more than talking. Jensen was so sick of this. He was sick of watching his other half constantly be bombarded with crying fans treating him as if he were their own personal therapist. Jensen was thinking that maybe they should start screening con questions again when he noticed a block of fans walking slowly towards the stage. He froze for a minute, trying to figure out what was happening. His gut was hit with a bolt of white-hot fear which snapped him into action. He started moving towards Jared, who was only a few feet away, but he didn’t seem to be getting any closer. Before he could process any of this, the group of people seemed to suddenly appear at the foot of the stage, right in front of Jared. Jensen was able to see them clearly and he panicked. It was a horde of wailing fans dressed in black robes like wraiths, their arms reaching towards Jared, scooping him up and above them. If they had just finished winning a basketball game, it might have looked like they were holding him up in victory; instead, he looked like a sacrifice.

“Jared! JARED!” Jensen shouted. He was still trying to move, to get off the stage, but for every step he took the floor slid backwards underneath him like some sort of sadistic treadmill. Jared was facing towards him and Jensen could see that his eyes were wide with fear and his mouth was moving, silently at first, and then—

“JENSEN HELP JENSEN JENSEN JENSEN…” His cries got quieter as he was carried farther away from the stage, but Jensen didn’t stop screaming.

“JARED! NO DON’T—JARED!”

“Jensen!” Jared’s voice cut sharply through the haze of the auditorium and the wails of the deadly fans, and Jensen couldn’t figure out why Jared’s voice sounded so different when he was forced awake by a quick slap on the cheek.

Jensen opened his eyes and looked around wildly as he sucked in a deep breath. He felt his body twisting around under the sheets in fear before he realized he was staring directly into Jared’s eyes. He stilled himself, trying to regulate his breathing so that he’d calm down. Jensen swallowed thickly, not daring to take his eyes off Jared’s.

“What happened?” he asked after a few minutes.

“Nightmare,” Jared breathed out in relief when he realized Jensen was back with him completely. “You were screaming my name, sounded like you were watching me die or something. Scared the shit outta me.” Jensen breathed out heavily as he brought a hand up and scrubbed at his face. Jared’s hand landed gently on top of his.

“You’re rubbing your skin raw,” he whispered. Jensen could tell Jared was well past concerned and had settled into mildly terrified. “What…I...fuck, Jen.” Jared paused, then repeated, “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” Jensen finally spoke. Jared stroked his thumb over Jensen’s cheek down to his jaw and then back up for a few minutes before coming to rest on his bottom lip.

“Wanna tell me what it was about?” he asked. Jensen shrugged. He really didn’t, because it was a stupid dream, not even that scary. He was also worried that if Jared found out, he would somehow find a way to blame himself, and Jensen definitely could not let that happen.

Jared’s fingers moved, wiping underneath Jensen’s eyes. Jensen didn’t realize he’d been crying a little until he saw the tears on Jared’s fingertips. He rolled away from Jared and over onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow.

“’m fine, Jay.” Even muffled he could still hear the slight shake to his voice, which meant Jared certainly heard it too. Right on cue, Jared snorted in disbelief.

“Look, we’re both awake now, and I know I’m not gonna be able to fall back asleep for at least half an hour. So please, just talk to me.” He was lightly rubbing circles in Jensen’s back, trying to coax him out. Jensen huffed before turning back over. He kept his eyes fixed firmly on the ceiling as he relayed the dream in a monotone voice.

“Nashville. The morning panel. It was going so well, and then…that last question, where the girl was crying…” Jensen trailed off, trying to keep any emotions out of his voice and off his face.

“And…?” Jared urged kindly.

“And suddenly there were a bunch of them. They pulled you off the stage and held you up like some kind of sacrifice.” Jensen’s voice cracked on the last word, but now that he’d started he couldn’t stop. “And I tried to move but I couldn’t, and they just carried you away and you looked so scared and you were yelling for me and I still couldn’t fucking move.” He was breathing heavy when he finished; his fear had morphed into anger, anger directed at all the fans who thought they were entitled to ask Jared those questions.

Jared didn’t say anything, just pulled Jensen over on top of him and wrapped his arms and legs around him. Jensen felt so selfish. Here Jared was protecting him when it should be the other way around. Jensen tried so hard to do that for Jared, to be that for Jared, but sometimes he wasn’t enough, and he hated that.

He gripped Jared’s shoulders tightly and buried his face in his neck. Jensen breathed in the scent of his hair, calming him down and soaking up the tears that he definitely was not shedding. Neither said anything after that; they didn’t need to. As the minutes ticked by, Jensen listened to Jared’s breathing, felt the steady rise and fall of his chest underneath him, the smoothness of Jared’s skin against his own.

His mind drifted, thoughts swirling slowly through his head. He realized that if something didn’t give soon, something else was going to break, and he was terrified that that something else would be Jared.

#j2 non au #ficlet #j2 ficlet #j2 season 12 stories #mine

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the-backspin-alchemist · 8 years ago

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1 3 4 6 8 11 12 14 17 19 26

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

Oh man, I had just bought Fury Road on DVD (because I was 100% sure I was gonna love the movie) and I thought I was gonna sit down and maybe get a few projects done while watching it.

Boy was I wrong.

I was so fixated on all of the stuff going on in the movie I completely forgot I had an open small-components box in front of me. I knocked it sideways when the movie ended and I excitedly clicked over to the special features and got all my chainmaille stuff all over my desk, lol.

Still a damn good movie.

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.

I had the single dumbest crush on my friend Natalie for the longest time. It was exceptionally stupid. Like...I dunno, it’d probably had been a lot less dumb if I weren’t terrified of the fact that I’d scare her off as a friend should I actually admit my feelings for her at the time, so I was constantly dancing around trying not to let her know that I liked her. And then one day I was dumb and asked her out to my high school prom. Which she said yes to, until we found out that HER school’s prom was on the same day (like every other high school in NJ, apparently, because nobody ever fucking communicates to make sure that doesn’t happen, for some bizarre reason. My sister had the same problem I did HER senior year, if I remember right). Afterwards, we...I dunno. Were like “Hey we should actually like..go on a date or something” and then nothing happened until she ended up going down to Pennsylvania and I ended up here in Vermont, and we’ve seen each other once since then.

She’s apparently doing pretty well for herself, which made me happy to see.

I’d still settle to just have her back as a regular friend at this point. She was a great person to me over the years, even BEFORE I ended up having romantic feelings for her. Hell, she was one of the few people who stuck around during my early high school years despite me turning into a complete asshole during that time...

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Probably not saying anything to Nat earlier on. I dunno, probably wouldn’t have changed much, but I still feel like I was a bit of a jerk for dancing around things the way I did...

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.

Freshman year of college (my 19th birthday, to be precise), since I had to spend it in VT instead of with other friends or family. AND because I was surrounded by very...exhausting...individuals in the dorm room at the time. So I tried to get everyone who knew it was my birthday to keep quiet about it because I didn’t want to end up swarmed with people I didn’t wanna spend time with.

Introvert problems, I guess. :/

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

I know more about audio tech and production than most other people I know, sans maybe @coryschneiderisahugenerd who actually runs a pretty good radio show.

Which means I can make some pretty cool audio stuff now. Including a podcast with aforementioned friend-who-runs-a-radio-show, which takes my audio knowledge and Fil’s ability to run a show and mashes them together right now. It’s fun, we’ve almost finished editing the first episode.

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.

When I was, like, 10, I had a dream where I was basically Samus Aran.

It was kickass. 10-year-old me woke up and immediately gushed about it to my parents, who had NO IDEA what I was talking about.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.

I dunno. I haven’t had a proper nightmare in a long time, and even then, I can’t remember any that I’ve had. It’s just been too long...

14: Talk about a vacation.

My family used to go to Point Sebago in Maine every summer until there were too many of us to fit in a cabin.

Those were fun. The water was nice, I’d go kayaking with my grandfather, uncle, father, and sister pretty consistently. My sister and I played the ever-living crap out of the mini-golf course they had there.

I’d kinda like to go back there at some point. give the actual, proper golf course a go.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

A lot of people I’ve had interactions on here with are people I want to be closer with. They all seem like pretty cool people.

That said, there’s this particular person who’s in a lot of my classes that’s really cool that I’d probably like to be friends with. She’s apparently into a lot of the same stuff I am, and makes some really cool art, and she’s just generally pretty cool. Just not sure what I’d have to bring to the table on that friendship-front, though, lol.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

So I was known as the unathletic kid for a while, right? Mostly because everyone’s sports of choice were basketball (which I am bad at, and also dislike, but not because I am bad at it, I just think it’s too hectic for me) and football (and I didn’t play THAT because I was the scrawny-stick-kid early on in middle school, and I didn’t wanna die). So naturally, when we went on a field trip in sixth grade where they had a rock-climbing wall that most of my classmates couldn’t scale completely (and those that did took a while to do so), EVERYONE was shocked when I strapped into the harness and scaled the thing in like...under two minutes.

Someone compared my to Spider-Man.

It was hilarious.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.

Listen to music, play games, watch stuff, generally chill in an effort to recuperate.

I made it halfway through Hyper Light Drifter when I was sick last week, so like...yeah.

#artietheyorkie

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catertochemicals-blog · 8 years ago

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3/27

So it’s Monday and I haven’t written anything in what feels like a really long time. The month of March is flying by, like it always does. I feel like this time of year is so painfully short and sweet.

Last week at work was really busy and I felt good and productive and like I really might have been getting the hang of things. Since I wrote last, I’ve really felt like I’ve been having more positive thoughts about myself than negative, and I think that I’ve channeled my anxiety and depression in a useful way or in any way at all that has resulted in my negative intrusive thoughts about myself minimizing a bit. It feels really good to be in this space. I’m melancholy, of course, because I’m always melancholy, but I’m not riddled with worry or anxiousness about how I’m behaving or the things I’m saying. It’s a very freeing feeling, having room for thoughts other than self-destructive ones.

Like I said, life has been chugging along a quite a pace. The last time I wrote, I know C & J were in town. We had a great week, although maybe a little strange because there was a decent amount of pot smoked and both J and I worked the full week. The best day was Thursday, though, because I took a sick day and we rode up Chapman and hammocked all day on the side of this vast enormous mountain with this insane view and tripped on LSD together. The ride down the mountain was extremely intense, as we were peaking. It was one of those moments I knew I will remember for the rest of my life, and a moment that I know that on my deathbed I will look back on and say, “I really lived. I grabbed life by the shoulders and breathed it in, I flew, I screamed, I laughed, I sobbed, I was utterly fucking terrified, but I lived at a breakneck pace and I lived hard.”

After we rode down we weren’t ready to go inside so we laid in the dog park and talked and laughed and looked at all the dogs being goofy. We ordered Ali Baba (the best) and hung around in the apartment and just enjoyed each others company. It was one of the most refreshing days. And in some way, I thin that the LSD does help curb my anxiety and depression. I think of it almost as an antidote. My symptoms had really been ramping up and now they’re ebbing. I want to google it and do some research to see if there’s any validity to this or if its just a placebo effect. Either way, I’m happy about it because feeling normal and sane feels REALLY good.

So last weekend was really cool because it was tame and grown up and fun. Friday night, J and I went over to J&A’s for a game night, and two other older couples showed up as well and were really unique and nice people. We drank beers and some gin and tonics and played scattergories and this Cyanide and Happiness game that I didn’t care about but it felt good to just be with other nice people. We rode our bikes home and went to bed and the whole night just was peaceful and without incident. Saturday, MT came to town. Our plan was to do a ride and then have a cookout with everyone, so I spent the morning making German potato salad. He brought brats that he had hand made himself, homemade mustard and mayo and pickled peppers and buns, the works. He also brought me an espresso machine that I’m completely enamored with but don’t entirely know how to use yet. He sort of showed me but I’m slightly intimidated. Also it takes a little while so I feel like I’ll only use it on weekends... But STILL!! What a treat. It was the best surprise. I love it. So he got to town and J was mountain biking in fort collins with TPC guys and MT ended up going up Flagstaff and down Chapman and finishing like 3 entire hours before anyone else. We changed and freshened up and had some espresso and ate brats and drank Bud Lights and talked to each other and goofed around. J came back, and G and A and A*. We all ate and listened to music and talked about bikes and stuff. Then we went to Rayback and had a beer and I had some ice cream. We shot the shit and went home. MT stayed over and we watched some cool freestyle rap videos. In the morning, we got coffee at Boxcar and had some breakfast at Whole Foods. MT left around noon when J left for work. I went to Target for a casette-to-aux cord thing but totally forgot that, and ended up with a new romper and some shorts and new underwear and lighters and some potting soil. I tried to re-pot my plant but it was a goddamn mess and a total lost cause. Oh well.

We had thought that B was going to come into town but typical her, she couldn’t stick to her non-plan and she purposefully missed two flights. J and I have been talking for like 12 hours over what we should do about her. She’s very obviously going through some kind of manic episode and is really kind of going insane and needs help. It seems like J has a plan, with the help of her sister. Calling B’s mom and stuff. It’s really cool of her and I feel super bad because I have absolutely no idea what to do other than try to be supportive for J. She’s been having mad anxiety about this whole thing too just because of the unpredictability of all of it. Luckily on Tuesday she’s having her first therapy session and I’m really excited for her and relieved that she’s looking into it. It helped me quite a lot and I feel like anyone could benefit from going.

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topweeklyupdate · 8 years ago

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TØP Weekly Update #29: Concert Withdrawal Week 1 (3/12/17)

The American leg of the Emotional Roadshow might have wrapped up last week, but that’s ok. We persevere. Thanks, Mark.

This Week’s TØPics:

US Emo Show Wraps

New “Sleepers” Video

Community Spotlight: Old Concert Pics Hit to Hit You Right in the Feels

BLIND SPECULATION About How This Concert Cycle Will End

Major News and Announcements:

Our only major release this week was the second installment in Mark’s “Sleepers” series. This episode confirmed that each installment in the series will focus around an acoustic soundcheck version of a non-single off of Blurryface, in this case “Message Man” featuring a great key escalation in the last chorus. The video was about much more than that, of course: we had more footage of the indoor football game between the TØP and Bellion crews, some great #aesthetic shots of Tyler in the red suit in the snow, and, yes, Tyler and Josh “kissing”.

Oh, and they won a Kid’s Choice Award for Best “New” Artist. Which is great. Sadly, neither of the boys were in attendance to get slimed accept the blimp in person.

Performances, Interviews, and Other Shenanigans:

The Emotional Roadshow wrapped in Louisville with a show just like any other, without any big speech about Blurryface beyond the normal promises to come back with new music some time (minus the above-pictured underwear message that caused Tyler to bust up at the end). It remains to be seen if we’ll get anything more final when they finish their last headlining show in Perth next month (possible), for their last festival show in the summer (unlikely), or if Tyler and Josh might sneak a finale show into Columbus, where they haven’t played a full show since 2015.

A bunch of from the last week of touring all made their way online over the last week. Let’s cover ‘em and get it dun.

Michelle Lewis, Somewhere (?)

No idea when/where this interview took place (other than that it was post-Grammys).

Apparently the idea for giraffes in a show came from something Tyler overheard Josh say in his sleep (fanfic, go).

When asked if there was anyone they saw at the Grammys they might want to do a collab with, Tyler said bluntly, “Musically, no,” before adding with his stupid smile “Socially, yes.”

Tyler says that its important that they continue to involve their families in their lives because, when this moment inevitably ends, it will be more special because they shared it with others.

Josh says that they are able to stay humble because they make fun of each other so much whenever they do something dumb. Tyler absolutely loses it, laughing “You’re saying it’s like it’s my goal to make you feel like dirt.” “Two dumb dirt boys.”

Alt 94.9, Birmingham

This interview’s questions are chosen by the reliable method of cootie catchers.

When asked what they were like in high school, Josh says that he “rebelled against authority but also was interested in people caring about me”. Tyler “rebelled against people and cared about authority”. That sounds about right.

They tell a Meet Cute story involving working in Best Buy and electric toasters that I think went right over the head of the interviewer.

When asked about the underwear they wore at the Grammys, Josh claims that they were his friends’ and it ended up in his bag in Europe (ok), while Tyler goes in-depth on the exact type of underwear he wore, which again goes right over the interviewers head, poor lady.

Some Station, Charleston

One of the interviewers is very interested in Tyler’s opinion on college. Tyler states that time dedication can only cover two things- he had to do music and earn money to live, so he couldn’t keep up with his grades. Tyler states that he knew he had to drop out when he had to read the syllabus for his Spanish class and knew he had zero chance of passing and still doing everything else. He also says that he’s grateful that they had jobs that allowed them to schedule around their music interests.

They talk about Paramore and Panic’s friendship and mentorship a bit, which is fun.

106.1 The Underground, New Orleans

Nothing much to say about this one, other than that they both agree that they have no advice they’d like to give to their younger stuff, because they just got crazy lucky with everything falling into place for them.

The Q 107.5, Memphis

The band has learned in their travels to always order breakfast food at late-night diners. Sound advice.

The interviewer has one really great question about what songs they’ve made that they wish had gotten more exposure on radio after so many listeners demanded they play “Car Radio”, and even encourages Tyler to be honest. Tyler says that he understands the standard radio “formula” that makes sense for the radio, but he also says that he really enjoys how the Clique has picked their own singles that are utterly necessary for their shows in the same way the radio stuff is. The radio host quotes Childish Gambino about how his singles are always the ones he gets annoyed by first, and Tyler and Josh just chuckle knowingly.

The MAX 102.3, Louisville

This one’s a game of This or That. For brevity’s sake, I’ll post the stuff they have in common and differ on in different categories.

Same: Eggs (scrambled), bread (white), soft drink (Coke), frozen dairy (ice cream), M&Ms (plain), pizza/sushi (pizza), footware (sneakers), thrill-seeking (skydiving), vacation (beach), social media (Twitter), holiday (Christmas), sport (football), time of day (night), fun sport (both bowling and putt putt), console (Nintendo).

Different: ‘Merica food (Josh: hamburger, Tyler: hamburger or hot dog, depends on the day), transportation (Tyler: car, Josh: “I feel like there’s stuff involved”), carnival or circus (Josh: circus, Tyler: carnival “for people watching), weather (Tyler: storms, Josh: sunshine, because of course), dog/cat (Josh: cat, Tyler: humans).

99.7 DJX, Louisville

As Tyler says at the end of the interview, the guys have been promised a lot of original questions before by dozens of interviewers, but these guys actually managed the feat of asking nothing but original questions. Maybe not the most “deep” questions, but definitely original.

Asked if they’re hunters or gatherers, Tyler definitely gathers.

If a penguin walked through the door wearing a sombrero, Josh guesses he’d be searching for his vacation identity far from home.

A movie of Tyler’s life would be an action film starring Josh Dun in his film debut.

The 22nd Pilot (har-har) is Tyler’s dad.

If Tyler was a new crayon, he would be “Brand New Ballpit”, a crayon made up of every color.

Josh plays Monopoly with friends, not enemies, because he doesn’t have enemies.

Tyler prefers pirates to ninjas. “It’s a deeply personal story, and I don’t want to get into it right now.”

Josh’s autobiography title: “Tyler Joseph”.

98.9 Radio Now, Louisville

The interview starts out great, with Tyler and Josh looking over the interviewer’s shoulder and seeing that her phone wallpaper is a picture of them. This amuses them both to no end, but it bodes well for the rest of the interview.

Unlike the Birmingham interviewer, this one is all too aware that she won’t get a straight answer about how they met, so she just seizes on the opportunity to hear a great story from TyJo about interdepartmental conflict at the General Mills plant between the Rice Krispies and Rice Krispie Treat manufacturers (which is strange, because I’m pretty sure they’re made by Kellogg’s... lol).

Josh admits that the Mario Kart stuff was put into the show for two reasons- to show Tyler’s dominance at his favorite game and to give them a break after the ball run (which “kinda sucks”).

Tyler acknowledges that he probably should be grateful to the guy who stole his car radio, but just can’t bring himself to- that cost money.

Tyler and Josh get underwear gifts for their next Grammy- Tyler gets Pikachu, while Josh gets “a cat riding a unicorn in space firing a laser”.

Community Spotlight:

This week’s spotlight goes to Dana Greene, who has more claim to the title of Tru Fan than most. Dana was a concert photographer in Columbus who took tons of photos of the band at local gigs during the Self-Titled and Regional at Best eras. She took the above photo, which dedicated fans might recognize as the interior of the Regional CD case, and has been posting HD scans of a bunch of old photos that are sure to hit ya right in the feels on her Twitter. She also posted this sick video that shows us why Tyler started using that wood piano case for his keyboard... I’ll just leave it at that.

BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK:

I already brought up the question of how Twenty One Pilots will put a pin on the Blurryface Era. I’m still hopeful for a surprise small show in Columbus, but they didn’t do any such thing for Vessel- the last show in 2014 was in Mexico City without any big party or anything. What they did do to cap off the album cycle, you’ll remember, is release the “Ode to Sleep” music video; if we’re getting anything to put Blurryface to sleep for awhile, I think it will come in that format.

There were roughly three weeks between the first two installments of “Sleepers”; if that pattern continues, we’ll get acoustic covers of “Hometown”, “Not Today”, and “Goner” between now and mid-May, right before the summer festival season. Because they still have at least three more shows to play after that point, I’m betting Mark will throw together one more treat for us before we start getting stuff from the next album- here’s hoping it doesn’t have the same release date as “Ode to Sleep” and we don’t have to wait until 2018 to see it.

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

#twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #emotional roadshow #top weekly update

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years ago

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“Dope A-F” - 3/7-3/19 - “First Weekend Featuring And Some Other Shit”

Listen up folks. It is time to catch up. I’ve been all over the place and not feeling my best lately. I have let this blog get away from me, but I promise I am bringing it back baby so let’s hop right into it laydees.

3/7

This was a nifty night of comedy. Jacob McFadden had gotten me an opportunity to do a live Winstmas Games at VCU’s create-a-thon- I was super stoked for this. I had booked a super strong lineup (Anne Meng, Beau Treauxclair, and Brandon Beswick vs Jacob McFadden, Dylan Vattelana, and Kate Carroll.) Create-a-thon is where a bunch of students stay up all night and work on developing ideas/apps and then presenting them. So this is going to be an all college crowd, they’re going to have been working for like 12 hours, and we are their entertainment for the night.

I meet up with Beau, Dylan, and Kate at Mojos and hang for a bit. I grab my camera and we all head over to VCU’s Temple building to meet up with McFadden, Beswick, and Kate. It took us a while to find everyone but once we did we headed upstairs. They took us to a side room and set everything up. We used Jacob’s PA and I set up my camera in the back. I got a good look at the kids and it gave me some anxiety. You always hear that comedy shows at colleges can go weird. You hear that they are super PC and you have to adjust. My gameshow lends itself to offensiveness. I like that we go over the line and say all types of insane stuff.

Everybody files in and we get started. It was super duper fun. We did a bevy of games and only did about an hour long show. It started kind of slow but the audience slowly got into it as the show went on. The more offensive stuff/sexual stuff they did shy away from, but we were able to hook them. There were a few lulls but there were also some huge pops. The episode will be up on iTunes/Google Play soon so check it out. Honestly Jacob yelling, “get a new man!” at the top of his lungs for 3 minutes absolutely destroyed me. There were some good running gags, and everybody had a blast.

I was able to give out some stickers and people seemed excited to have been there. I packed everything up and headed out. IT was a dope night I’d give it a B+.

3/8

The next day I realized I needed to kind of take a day and enjoy myself. I went to go see Captain Marvel after work. I got a good meal and then took my time getting up to DC. Yes I only did one set, but it was fun. I got to Big Hunt early and got to hang out and talk to my friends.

I got to catch up with Benjy Himmelfarb, Matt Deakins, and a few others before heading downstairs. My buddies Chris and Tj showed up next. We went downstairs and hung out and got ready for our sets.

I figured this would be.a good time to prep for my JFL set. Sean tells me I am going first at the mic. It is my first time going first here and I want to set the table nicely for everybody. So I go up and do a five minute set. It was super tight and I got some big laughs. I felt like I did my job in that spot and I am beyond happy with how it went. Nothing too crazy or special, but I did get some big pops which was exciting. I’d give my set a B+.

I was absolutely exhausted but TJ was going later in the show. So we just all stuck around and chilled. Chris and TJ both had good sets. After they finished we walked to Chris car and I drove them back. Chris at first was like you’re going too damn slow. Hurry up. Then about 5 minutes into the ride he was like, “you know what you’re respecting tf out of my car right now, and I love it.” I drove them back to the metro and hopped in my car and met them at TJs where I immediately went inside and passed out for like 12 hours. I had a big show tomorrow, and honestly just needed to rest.

3/9

This night was going to be super special. Chris and I were going to be doing The After Show. This is a political/social roundtable show. It is kind of a spiritual successor to Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn a comedy show that influenced an entire generation of comedians.

I booked a super dope lineup imo. I tried to have a diverse lineup. The more diverse these shows are the better. I had Francesca Lyn, Clinton Johnston (radio host of Home Grown Live), Paige Campbell, Garrett Barnes, Chris, and myself.

This show I was functioning as a panelist and as fact checker. My job was to read off the topics, fact check, contribute, and Chris was going to lead the discussion of all of the topics.

This ended up being one of the most fun shows I have ever done. There was a nice sized crowd there and they were incredibly into it. We covered some pretty heavy and intense topics and we got some incredibly huge laughs from it. I am so upset that my camera didn’t work. I have absolutely no audio or video of the show.

We covered the Jessie Smollett thing, Michael Jackson/R Kelly, representation in media/comics, anti-vaxxers, race, religion, sexuality, and so much more. It was one of the more fun 90 minutes I have ever spent on stage. People absolutely loved it. The best part was Clinton seemed to have a good time. He isn’t a comedian but he is a super kind, funny, and smart dude. He was worried he wouldn’t do well, and he ended up being on e of the best parts of the night. He kept the show grounded while the rest of the comedians made points but were also mostly just going for laughs. I’d give this show an A+. It was a blast. I headed home and passed out immediately I was so tired.

The following two nights I took off. I was incredibly sick those two days. I even took off from work on Monday which I almost never do. That’s ok though because I had a week of fun shows coming up I needed to get ready for.

3/12

After my days off I had to drive to Winchester Brew Works to open for my buddy from LA Pete Buchbauer. He grew up in Winchester and this was going to be a super fun show.

I left right after work and it is a super long drive to Winchester. Like almost 3 hours each way. I don’t mind it, but I was thankful I got to leave work at 3 that day.

After I get there I walk in and catch up with Pete. I got to meet his gf and he let me know about all the cool stuff he has going on. The venue is a dope brewery. There is a pretty good crowd and turnout but everyone is crazy far away from the stage.

The feature act is a dude name Pat McCloig from San Diego but he also grew up in Winchester so he brought a lot of people too. So we had a good crowd, but we needed to get them closer. I went up to make the five minute warning announcement and told everyone if they could to move up and the show would be so much better. They all listened. They moved every table closer and it looked more like a show than before.

The show starts and I do mostly crowd work and little bit of jokes. The jokes aren’t really hitting. It is such a big room that the laughter sounds weird coming to the front. Also the feature acts father was a minister and he brought some of the members of his church to the show and they sat dead in the front and they weren’t huge fans of me. I got a big laugh though when I said they looked like the last supper. I warmed up the crowd and I’d give it a C.

The feature went up and he did ok. The room was still being weird and I think they picked up on him doing jokes in front of his dad. He did ok, but his closer didn’t really hit at all which sucks. Pete told me I could do a couple more jokes to bring them back and I did. I did about 3 more minutes of just jokes and it did really well. I got the room back and ready for him. I’d give the second set a B.

Pete then came up and did about 25 to 30 minutes and did really well. People were there to see him, and they got a great show. Afterwards I got some nice compliments and got to talk to some of the audience. That room definitely has promise if they do more comedy. I also saw another of my comic friends’ (Sami Sfeir) mom at the show. So I took a pic with her and sent it to him with a joke caption.

I then hopped in my car and drove back to Richmond to go last at Fallout. I needed the stage time, and I needed to run this JFL audition set. I get back just in time and get to watch a few of my friends go up before it is my turn to go. There is a few audience members there which is insane. So I have an actual crowd.

Kate Carroll is hosting and she gives me a super nice intro and I get to go up. I did my 5 minute set and it goes pretty well. I am definitely going to switch some stuff around and add a couple new jokes. It gets a good response though and I close with a brand new joke that I am happy about. I’d give the set a B. I go and pass out as usual. I still feel really sick so I am just trying to keep it together.

3/13

The next day I had double booked myself. I had agreed to close out Clash of the Comics at the Richmond Funny Bone, but I had also agreed two months earlier to ride down to Cozzys with Alex Castagne for Nick Deez show at Cozzys. I was going to record Alex set and Nick was gong to give me a guest spot.

I thought about it, and since I was at Funny Bone rest of the weekend I txted the gm at the Funny Bone and told him I had double booked and if someone wanted my spot they could have it. He said that’d be awesome, and that he had someone who had been asking about it. Then about an hour later at work the gm gave me a call and said that since Lil Rel had cancelled they didn’t have a feature act for the weekend. He offered me a weekend of featuring and I jumped at it.

This was officially going to be my first feature weekend. I have done feature spots but they were always on an off night and not for the whole weekend. This was going to be 6 shows in front a national touring headliner in my home club. This was a huge deal and I could not wait. I knew it was going to be a tough gig, but I just was ready to show how much I have grown over these almost 4 years.

With this news I am basically jumping for joy at work. When I get off I go over to Alex’s place and we head to the grocery store and get some Ukrop’s coffee cake. I then take a nap while he gets ready and then we head down to Cozzy’s.

We have a great ride in the car. We are riffing and raffing. Joking about anything and everything. Getting caught up, and talking about our sets. The main reason I didn’t want to miss this was it was going to be Alex’s first time in a club doing 30 minutes. This is a big deal. It’s super cool Nick felt Alex was ready and asked him to do it. Alex was super nervous, and rightfully so this was a dope and big deal.

We get to Cozzy’s and Nick is hanging outside looking nervous af. He always looks nervous when he is running a show. He is afraid no one is going to be there and quite frankly that is everyone’s fear. The first one was fun, but you never know if that was a fluke or if it will be consistent.

We hang out and talk for a bit and then Alex and Nick head to the corner to do an episode of Nick’s podcast Comedy Buildups and Breakdowns. During this time some of the other comics show up and crowd members start to come in. At first it looks like it is going to be a light night. Which is ok, but I know it isn’t what Nick wanted. I go outside for a bit and what I assume is a homeless dude is on a phone and he starts talking to me about the Redskins and to forgive him if he started watching porn. So yea Newport News is dope.

Then the audience starts to file in. By the time the show is getting ready to start we have a pretty good crowd. I don’t know many of the comics on the show, but they all seem nice. Rock Allen showed up to support and I hadn’t seen him in a while. The other comics on the show included Jose Roman, J Marc Perry, Michael Dillard, Aaron Johnson, Justin King, myself, and Alex closing it out.

Nick goes up and tries to get the crowd in the mood for comedy. He has a bit of a rough set but finishes fine. He gets a couple of laughs, but hosting is always hard. He gets them on his side and brings the comics up. The first couple of comics do ok. The crowd can definitely be cracked, but no one has really hit them in the right spot.

I ask Nick to put me up next. I had felt a little weird this day and I didn’t want to go up any later. He told me that was cool so I got ready. When he called me up I went straight into it. I just tried to wake people up and keep them engaged. I did crowd work, and one bit. I had a super fun set. I didn’t destroy, but I know that I got the audience into. Definitely a hot set that I am proud of. I love being the one to crack the room. I’d give this set a B.

I then went and talked to Alex a bit. He is still a bit nervous about having to do 30. recently Alex has been talking himself out of good sets. Everybody does this from time to time and when I was at the two year mark in comedy like he is I did it a lot more than I do now. I believe in self-fulfilling prophecy and the power of being excited/positive so we try to focus on that.

A couple comics go up and do ok in front of him. Nothing special, just a couple of fine sets. Justin King went up and I hadn’t seen him in a while. He did pretty well going right before Alex. He had some good jokes and left on some laughs. After this set it was time for Alex.

Alex had a fine set. He did his time. He has the material for 30. He lost them a few times, but he was never devoid of laughter. His crowd work did really well, but he kept going away from it to get back to his jokes. This was a crowd that was there for more interaction than jokes. I think if he had mixed it up more, maybe do a 50/50 split of crowd work and material than he would have felt better about the set. I was proud of him for doing it. He got to headline a show in a club and people enjoyed it. That’s all you can ask for.

We said our goodbyes and left. Alex and I talked about this set and comedy the whole trip back. It was a nice way to end the night. I was absolutely exhausted so I passed out as soon as I got home.

3/14

Today was the day. My weekend of featuring at the Richmond Funny Bone was starting. I was so stoked on it. But first I was heading to The Camel to do a quick spot before hand.

I got there pretty early and did some writing. I waited for a few of my friends to show up. I got to see Jason Kusterer who I don’t see very often, Brandon Beswick, and the one and only Kenn Edwards. WE did a lot of ball busting and riffing. It was so much fun to catch up with these guys.

Jameson did me a solid and put me up first. I went and had a good set. I was proud of it. I can’t really remember what I did, but I know it was newer stuff. I got a solid response from the crowd and was happy. I’d give it a B. I then watched Brandon and Kenn perform. They both did well and had some good lines. It was great to see! I grabbed my stuff and headed to the club.

This was my first night featuring for the weekend. I was opening for BoDacious from the 757. Jaye Toler and another comic I’m not really friends with both show up and say they were told they’d get to host the weekend. I am legit thinking please let Jaye be the host. Like I don’t hate the other dude, but I wanted this weekend to be nothing but fun. I wanted my friend I’d known since I started to be bringing me on stage. Thankfully my prayers were answered. Jaye would host all weekend and this dude would get to do a guest spot.

The show starts and we are a little over half full. Which is more than I thought for a Thursday. Jaye has a pretty solid set and the guest spot does well got some real nice pops. I then go up and have a killer first 15 minutes. Like I really hooked them with crowd work and my opening bits. The only problem is after this I lost them. They didn’t enjoy a joke I did and every one after this was me trying to get the good will back. It wasn’t a bad set and I closed strong. It was just one of those things where I had them and let them off the hook. I’d give the set a C/C+. I tell myself I will not let this happen again. I go home and regroup and get ready for the weekend. The Funny Bone is a tough/urban club. It is hard to work and they can be unforgiving. I refuse to let this club beat me this weekend.

3/15

On Friday I had two shows. The headliner for the rest of the weekend was going to be Billy Sorrells (BET, Wild n Out, from Houston Texas).

I got to the shows earlier than everyone else because that is what I do. I went shopping and bought some new jeans and was going to get a new pair of shoes but decided against it.

I go to the club and just wait around. I’m crazy nervous. I don’t want this to be a weekend full of mediocre sets. The GM gave me a shot to feature and I wanted to kill it. So I made my set list and tried to get in a good head space.

Billy got there and introduced his self. He was a super laid back, confident, and nice guy. I was excited to see what he does on stage. We chilled in the back and got to know each other a bit. He played super loud music in the green room (mostly soul/R&B) for the whole show. Even when he was on stage he had it on. I would turn it down, but it seemed odd to me to just keep your phone running in the green room. He also saw I had my videocamera and asked me to record him. Which I didn’t mind doing, but it’s just a pain in the ass to edit people’s stuff for them.

The show starts and we have a little over half of the room full again at the start. I worry it is going to suck like the previous night, but I have to shake this feeling. Jaye goes up and has a pretty good set. After him it is my turn.

Jaye calls me up and I go right into it. I do some crowd work about how people chose to not sit in the front and it was messing up my profile picture I was trying to get. I hit on a bunch of black women in their 20s in the front row. Asking each of them if they’d ever been hit on by a white guy, and eventually I asked another white dude if he had been hit on by a white guy. That killed super hard.

I went into my material and it was also working. After a few minutes a group of people came in and I got them up to speed on the set so far and that did super well. I then asked the black lady in her late 30s if she had been hit on by a white guy and she was like, “right now.” So I told the other people they lost their chance because they sat around and I was going home with her. That destroyed as well. The rest of the set went well but never hit those highs. I am just super comfortable doing crowd work and then getting into my material. I closed strong and got a huge applause. It felt good I’d give this set a B. I knew I could and would do better.

Billy went up and killed for 45 minutes. In the green room he mentioned that one of his best friends was Ali Siddiq and you could tell he had an influence on his comedy. He was laid back and was a great storyteller. After the show I got some pictures with people, handed out some stickers and then headed back inside to get ready,

On the second show Billy’s friend Rob Gordon showed up. He is a DC comic I have never met and he runs the DC Comedy Festival. He was going to be doing a guest spot. He comes in the green room and seems like a super nice guy.

We are all chilling and I am just trying to get in a good headspace and try to follow my set from earlier. So I go and sit in the showroom for a bit.

When the second show starts it is closer to 3/4 full for this one. I was also excited because one of my coworkers hit me up and asked what time the show was. It felt so good to not only know she was coming but to also be able to hook her and her husband up with tickets was so dope.

The second show started and Jaye has a good set. Rob Gordon goes up and is super high energy. He really captured them up top. He was supposed to only do five but he ran tfo of the light and ended up doing 10. I didn’t feel like following his energy, but I knew that I could.

I go up and really get into it. There was a woman in the front who had been weird the whole show. You could tell she had an attitude so I went right at her and got her on my side. I teased her and her whipped bf. They loved it.

She had glasses on and so did the woman next to her. I asked the lady next to her if she was going to be mean like the other black lady with glasses. That got a laugh. Then the original chick was like, “just stereotype us then.” Then I went on a riff for a minute or so about how it wasn’t stereotyping if they were actually just both black women with glasses. I wasn't on stage saying, “What’s the deal with all these black women in glasses. It’s like they’re trying to see or some shit.” I then talked about being too woke for that and it brought the place down. I also mentioned my coworker being my boss and that I was going to lose my job and they ate that up too.

The rest of my set went well too. I did some of my usual material and peppered in some different stuff I needed to try there. I’d give the set a B+. I felt like I just kept getting better and better as the weekend went on.

After the show I got to talk to my coworker and her husband and they were both really into it and impressed. It felt so good. After I said my goodbyes I got Rob’s info and headed home to get some rest even though Billy was trying to hang out. I think he parties a little too hard for me and this was going to be my one chance to get some real rest this weekend so I took it.

3/16

Saturday was going to be better than Friday. Two more sets and I had confidence from the previous night. The shows started thirty minutes earlier so we were all afraid that Billy was going to be late. Which is my biggest fear. The best part is I didn’t have to worry about it since I wasn’t hosting. Being a feature is so much more relaxing.

The show is even more full than last night. As usual Jaye goes up and gets them warmed up. Then it is my turn. I walk up and start talking to a table to the side about their hats. I then get to talk to one of the women they are with and she yells, “I’m the side piece.” This gets a huge reaction so I start talking to them about this. Saying that’s the proudest side piece of all time. I asked her name she said, “Mrs. Side Piece”, and I respond, “I’m pretty sure it’s just miss.”

I then do some teaching and club material. It is going really well. I go back to side piece and do some more crowd work. Then I talk to two people on the side who just met because their friends ditched them. This doesn’t get much laughs for a couple minutes but it set me up for a huge callback later. The rest of the set goes really well and I close strong. I killed pretty hard and I’d rate it a B+/A- so still better than the last one.

During Billy’s set I listened a bit, but mostly decompressed in the green room and ate a bunch of food while I screwed around on youtube. After the show I had a bunch of people asking for pictures, and stickers. It was awesome to see this reaction. Richmond is one of the toughest clubs in the country. I hear that from every feature/headliner who comes through. It is a tough/black room and if you can’t work a black room then this is a difficult place to do well in. I’ve bombed there and felt like shit hosting there countless ties but I do believe that it has made me into the comic I am today. I feel like I have a long ways to go, but when it is on the line I can work any room/crowd around.

The second show went even better. The crowd was electric and I had them from the start. I didn’t slip up once. I had my best crowd work of the weekend.

I had another guy who didn’t want to laugh so I addressed him first and people loved it. I have the video on youtube so check it out at youtube.com/c/winstonhodges .

The dude was a truck driver, and his name was 40. He told me to call him, “black” first and I flat our refused because I was, “too woke for that shit.” I really had them. I told him I was there for his struggle, and I was active listening. I was an ally. Just really hamming it up and people loved it.

I then had a moment during a joke when someone who knows my mom shouted out my name. I talked about how you can’t bring anybody to a show because they always screw it up. I kept going in and out of crowd work and material and people were digging it. I’d definitely give this show an A. It felt like a culmination of four years of grinding. I am now no longer scared of the club. I know what I can do to make it work, and I feel like I am ready to eventually been the road. I left right after my set and once I got home I passed out.

3/17

I was ready for the weekend to be over. Sunday shows are usually kind of tough. They are earlier, and people aren’t always super into it. I was ready for it though. I was so excited because I had a lot of people coming to see me including my parents and my brother. I always want to do super well for them.

The show starts and they were not on board. They were a lighter crowd, but they did not enjoy what was going on at first. I was getting nervous but I had already proved all weekend I deserved to be there.

I get on stage and go right into it. My material and crowd work were hitting. It wasn’t my best set, but I had some super fun moments. It was all in all a great Sunday night show. I had a really fun moment talking to a guy that had been a truck driver for 27 years and married for 33. I asked if the first 6 years of marriage is what made him hit theroad.

I then asked them about how to make it that long. She said communication and he said she is always right. I riffed on that and got back into my material. It was a super fun show. I was so proud and this was a great ending to a superb weekend. I’d give this show a B.

Billy went up and it was weird. His first 45 minutes were just about a story that happened while he was in Richmond and then he did like an additional 50. The audience was tired and wanted to leave. So it was a bummer, but I got some great compliments afterwards and all in all I got like 70 IG followers just from this weekend. I know that’s a small number, but it made me feel really good. I said bye and headed out to get ready for work this week.

This was a huge moment for me comedically. The GM and Billy were both extremely complimentary of me. It meant a lot. Billy asked me about moving and told me to get the heck out of Richmond. I think I am getting closer and closer to a move. That’s why I’m trying to do the best I can while I am here. Almost four years ago I was doing my first set ever on this stage. I went from winning a contest and getting hooked on comedy to being the paid middle act of an actual show. This is my dream and I will make it happen.

3/18

I was feeling under the weather for this show, but I refused to miss the Southern two weeks in a row. I stayed in town a bit and had a bite to eat before driving out there.

I was stoked because most of my friends were there. Paige, Alex, Chris, and almost all the guys were out. It was a lighter crowd than the last few times I had been there, and a smaller comic list (so we all got 5-7) instead of 3 which was nice.

I told myself I was going to do new stuff tonight. I know I shouldn’t since I am prepping for JFL audition, but who gives a shit. I didn’t want to change what I do. I like working on new shit so I decided to do some new stuff, and then also bring back an oldie from the vault that needs some work.

The crowd isn’t super into the show honestly. At least not at first. Paige goes up and he does not enjoy his set at all. He had some jokes hit that he was trying to work out, but he didn’t have the confidence I usually see from him. It was productive but I can tell he hated it.

I went a couple after him and enjoyed mine. I got a laugh on every joke. Some definitely need work, but I had 4 new jokes get something. They will probably be the basis of my next 5 minutes which is cool. I also brought back an old joke I liked and realized needs work. It got a laugh, but I forgot some of it. I always enjoy dusting off the oldies. I’d give this set a B-.

The rest of the night went ok. I helped clean up afterwards, but honestly I don’t remember much craziness from the show. We all had fun shooting the shit and watching each other. Padgett had a solid set. He is really coming along as a comic. He just has to get off of his notebook and put it together as a cohesive set.

We had a few bombs which were fun to watch like McCallie and Sam Wood. Sam went up after this other black comic named Vaughn who did some homophobic stuff and it was funny to watch her mean ass follow him. She got a big laugh and shit all over Colby Knight which made my night. I love these guys and they’re all getting better in their own way. It is cool the scene is growing and getting tighter. I won’t be around it too much longer, but I am glad to have been a part of it while I could.

Alex went last and did well. He hated how a few of his jokes went, but it was a super productive set. He got some really good laughs, and his timing is getting better. I love these fellas.

After cleaning up and talking I headed home to pass out. I was so tired. It had been a lot the past few days. I was so glad that I have a day off on Tuesday. Which I spent relaxing, cooking, and hanging with family. I love my days off now, and I am really trying to have more of them. I used to go out everyday, but now that I am at a position where I can still perform between 8-15 times a week I take my days off and enjoy them

WOW I DID IT. I am caught up again. It won’t happen ever again (JK IT IS TOTALLY HAPPENING AGAIN). I’ve got three open mics tonight and then a weekend in DC doing a ton of shows. This is the life. I love you laydees and baybees so much. Thanks for following xoxo hugs and kisses see you all soon!!!

#comedy #standup #improv #funny bone #comedy club #jokes #hilarious #cvillecomedy #comedyrva

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remembermemorablememories · 6 years ago

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Monday, February 18, 2019

post #406

main points:

- wake up early to go to NYC

- turn in lease (officially signed an apt!)

- $1 pizza and gong cha

- come back home, get chipotle and go to target with sheena

- eat at home, watch bob’s burgers/help dad with the kitchen ventilation

- played smash online, getting lucina into elite and playing snake in elite smash

- dinner with fam, learn about dad’s childhood experiences with his mom in the hospital

- book tokyo housing, look into airbnb experiences/kyoto/osaka

- mario kart with deepak and sheena

writing this on tuesday feb 19

today i:

- woke up at 6:30am. i was so tired waking up. yikes. i mustered all my strength to get up and out of bed, grabbed a banana downstairs, then drove out in mom’s car to the trenton train station

i got there around 8am, then got on the 8:10am train. on the train i signed the blanks where i should fill out for the lease, then just listened to music and rested

got to penn station and then walked 10 blocks to 43rd to meet up with marsha. it was wet out so i’m guessing it rained last night :s we went in to the broker office in the basement but before going in, marsha did one last pass on all of my paperwork, collect my checks, then we headed in

we dropped off the paperwork, everything seemed solid and that was it. the whole thing took like 20 minutes

marsha stopped outside to give me a bottle of champagne as celebration and we took a picture together. then we parted ways and said good bye :’( we’ll be in touch probably the next month to get everything sorted out logistically but it was good working with her

i stopped by the post office to try to get a refund for my remaining money order but the post office was closed cause it was president’s day :( i guess i’ll go tomorrow

- decided to walk back to penn station and just head home but i first stopped by $1 pizza to eat. it was like 10am lmaooo. while i was sitting there eating my pizza i also got a notification that my 4gb of data on my phone ran out :( it won’t renew until 3/5 rip. walked over to gong cha since it was near the station, got myself some milk tea and sheena some milk tea

hopped on the 11:14am train back to trenton. i watched white bear of black mirror since i downloaded it offline on netflix. then watched an episode on the stock market and then astrology for vox’s explained series. very interesting stuff

- drove back home, getting back around 1:30pm. idk why but i started getting a headache. i wonder if it was cause of the milk tea or if it was cause i was watching stuff on the train and maybe the light swaying caused me to be motion sick or something?

- once i got home, got settled down, i went out with sheena to target. she needed to go get sunscreen and some other travel sized stuff for her school trip to florida coming up soon. then we went over to chipotle and both got some burrito bowls. sheena stopped by wendy’s to get some large fries then we drove home and ate while we watched bob’s burgers S6E10. halfway through watching, dad went to the backyard deck to try to fix the ventilation for our kitchen stove. since it’s windy out sometimes the wind gets caught in it and makes flapping sounds. he stacked two chairs on top of each other to reach it and i was really concerned it was not stable so i went out to watch over it. i told him we should just use a ladder but it’s a bit buried in the garage since the kitchen renovations happened

he got a tentative fix with a spring and duct tape and then we went back inside. i finished the rest of my burrito bowl and the episode of bob’s burgers around 3:30pm

- i still had a headache so i was gonna do japan planning but played smash online instead. i played with lucina a bunch, then got her into elite smash. cutoff is around 3.81 mil GSP right now. then i played some snake in elite smash and did fairly well. there was this marth that i played really well against. but after 5-6 games he slowly started adapting to my gameplay which was interesting to see. (even though i still won :p). then i had to go eat dinner so i peaced out. i got snake to like 3.89mil... still can’t break 3.9mil GSP yet

- went to eat dinner with the fam. there was pork/potatoes, duck, and some veggies. yum :D i went to the bathroom and once i finished/came out, i sat back down and listened to some of dad’s stories from when he was a kid and living with his mom/visiting the hospital. the topic came up cause i mentioned my abdomen pain. he said he had a severe flu once and went to the hospital. they had to take a biopsy and mixed him up with the person next to him and thought he had cancer. but since his mom (my grandma) worked in the hospital, she thought it was really odd, especially at dad’s age (maybe like a teenager). fortunately they were able to do another biopsy and the people there realized it was a mistake. damn... these kinds of things are scary

- i cleaned up the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while dad cleaned up the kitchen table/stored food. we heard more flapping from the stove vent so dad went out again, this time with two chairs. i watched over him just in case, and he just stuck the screw straight through the flap instead of using duct tape this time. and it looks like it fixed it for good

- went upstairs around 8pm and planned out some more of tokyo, mostly booking a hostel through airbnb. then also looking into airbnb experiences in tokyo, then kyoto and then osaka. i also looked into hostels for kyoto and osaka but i’m not too time pressed on it cause since they’re close to each other, i can figure something out. while i was doing this sheena was playing smash behind me. i told her about grab out of shield which helped her a lot. she was playing dittos against another zelda that was doing almost identically what she was doing LOL

- also i told deepak i’d play mario kart with him. so after taking a long shower, we played from 10pm-11pm. sheena also played with us (since she was already playing smash). we did shine thief battle mode for a bit (we got wrecked by deepak), then racing (again got wrecked) -- deepak 1st, me 2nd sheena 3rd. then we played teams to try to balance things out. sheena and i did better overall with CPUs/team so we won that one :p

- hung out with sheena in her room a bit. browsed some instagram, watched some old videogamedunkey videos on smash, then went to sleep around 12:30am. i was so tired after waking up at 6:30 today

okay the end

#post #february #2019 #normal

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thegirlbeneaththesmile · 7 years ago

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I’m proud of myself, for the first time ever I actually managed to keep a travel journal while I was away on vacation. A part of me has always wanted to be a travel blogger, or some sort of travel blogger, but I haven’t exactly gone a ton of places to do so, and definitely none that are very exotic. Nor do I travel more than once or twice a year... yeah, I would be a lousy travel blogger, but still, it would be fun. Anyways, point is, I figured I would share my travel experiences on here, just to be a little bit of a travel blogger myself. (I went to Atlantic City by the way, sorry to its residents, but I would not recommend travelling there)

Day 1: 1) The U.S. is as bad as home when it comes to summer road construction 2) All the feels. A portion of our route was the same route we took to NYC which made me really want to go back. Especially once I started seeing the signs for NYC 3) I have now seen 2 Ivy League schools: Columbia and Penn State. They’re both beautiful, but they aren’t Ryerson 4) It is in fact NOT always sunny in Philadelphia. It was actually quite cloudy when we drove through, but it’s a really pretty cit 5) Not going to lie, Atlantic City is kind of sketchy looking. Maybe it’ll just take some getting used to, but right now I’m not loving it 6) I’ve been resigned to sleeping on the pullout couch because of my cold. It’s not the most comfortable but I guess it’ll have to do 7) I look like a ghost. This sickness has made all the colour leave my body. What the heck?

Day 2: I didn’t actually write about this day, I just wrote down an idea to consider pursuing and I’m not in the business of having that idea taken right out from under me, so moving on.

Day 3: TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF So this is what it feels like to watch an episode of Teen Wolf live. Not going to lie, it was a bit of a lack lustre premiere, but damn, Dylan O’Brien in his FBI attire. A solid 10/10. Also Derek’s back, that’s a win. He’s wanted for mass murder, but still, Derek’s back. I’m going to miss this show. It’s ironic how it’s coming to an end as I’m starting the next chapter of my life. It’s almost like it’s signifying the end of an era. Now that’s sad.

Day 4: My God it is hot here. It’s probably the same kind of hot here that it is at home... when it’s not raining a ton that is. You’d think that there would be a bit of an ocean breeze while walking the boardwalk, but nope, it’s all just sweltering heat. Thank God for the pool and hot tub (ironic, I know). Correction: thank God for the pool and hot tub when they’re both not busy and filled with screaming kids.

Day 5: 1) Ryerson released the schedules! My schedule isn’t bad, the only downside is this really big chunk of time between my Friday classes, and the fact that my last class of the week is from 5:00 - 6:00 p.m. The poor sis had to sit with me for almost an hour while I tried to figure out how to change my lab times around. If all goes according to plan on Tuesday, I should have Mondays off and be done downtown by noonish on Fridays. Overall this is getting me more pumped for school to start. 2) Something happened down at the beach. Don’t know what exactly happened, but something happened. There were a bunch of ambulances, then helicopters and a boat scanning the water. I think they were looking for someone. I’m going to keep an ear out and see if I can figure out what happened. 3) Update on the cold: the cold is almost fully gone. Now just to clear my nose and get rid of this damn cough.

Day 6: 1) If I get melanoma it’ll be on my legs. My bad habit of not putting sunscreen on is being put to an end by the mother and sister. Unfortunately my legs are already a different shade than my torso which did have sunscreen on. Hopefully I just tanned though. Mum and the sis are already pink/burnt. Thank God that doesn’t usually happen to me. 2) Yeah, so I got a bit burnt. Whoops.

Day 7: 1) Wow we are in the sketchiest area of Atlantic CIty. Brigantine, Ventnoor (?) and Ocean City are so much nicer than where we’re staying. Brigantine beach patrol is also HOT to top it off. The sis and I turned some heads too which is always a compliment. 2) Suicide Squad isn’t bad. The character development was probably the best part in my opinion. I think I’ll stick to my Marvel movies though.

Day 8: According to my family, today is my birthday, or at least it is at Rainforest Cafe. I strongly dislike being sung to at restaurants. It’s quite embarrassing. Yes, the (typically) free dessert is nice, but please spare me the singing and clapping. Especially when there’s a cute bus boy working. If tonight’s dinner extravaganza is any indication, I will forever not know what to do while people sing happy birthday to me.

Day 9: Wasaga Boy texted me, which was really out of the blue. A lot of people have been texting me like that lately. It turned a rather uneventful day into something somewhat interesting. Otherwise I would simply be writing about how in a day’s course I’ve read 75% of my new book and how Dad and I watched Rogue One again. Man, there really isn’t a lot to say about Day 9.

Day 10: Okay, so we weren’t really in New Jersey today, but it’s close enough. Philly’s a lovely city, it kind of reminds me of Montreal with the mix of the old and the new. It’s very American though, considering so much of American history happened there, but when you’re driving down the old streets lined with townhouses you start to forget. It’s days like these that remind me how much of a city girl I am, and how that’s where I feel the most at ease. Or at least in the non-sketchy parts of town. I can’t wait to be downtown everyday come September.

Day 11: Today was a lazy day. It was raining and I really didn’t want to do anything. So I didn’t. I sat and finished writing the next episode in my TV series. Then I formatted it. And then I proof read it. I’m probably going to have to proof read it again before I start writing the next episode. Either way, I’m happy because it’s progress. I forgot (or at least temporarily forgot) how much I love writing, and this show practically writes itself. It feels good to have an actual show up my sleeve. Now just to finish writing this season.

Day 12: 1) Course Selection: ☑️ Ideal Schedule: ☑️ I survived the semi-annual Ryerson Hunger Games. It was stressful as all hell, but at least it’s done now. Plus it was good practice for all those mornings I’ll be waking up at 5:00 a.m. to make it to my 8:00 a.m. classes. This definitely makes it feel more real, like it’s actually happening now. 20 days from now frosh week will begin and I’ll officially be part of the Ramily. My excitement levels could not be higher; if only my sleep deprivation didn’t mask it. 2) Finally some cute boys.They’re probably younger than I am, but who cares, I’m just glad to know that they exist in my vacation universe. That, and I have a boy anyways. 3) Passengers is a really good movie. 10/10 would recommend. For such a limited cast it was so human too. I really enjoyed it. 4) Baths are kind of overrated. At least ones without bath bombs. They’re relaxing sure, but when you think about it, unless you showered first, you’re sitting in your own filth. Which is gross.

Day 13: Even though this building doesn’t have a floor 13. 1) So some idiot thought it was a good idea to clear the smoke from their kitchen out by leaving the door to their room open so it would escape into the hallway. At 7:20 a.m. setting off an alarm for the whole building. This annoying buzzing sound plus a recording saying that an emergency has been reported and to listen for further instructions. That went on for like 10 - 15 minutes before the “All Clear” message took over... for another 10 minutes. That was exactly how I wanted to wake up. Because waking up before 8:00 two days in a row is at the top of my list. 2) Well then, cute boys really do exist here, and this time there were actually two that are the right age for me. These two boys who we’re guessing are cousins are 19 which is good for me. It was so cute to watch them playing with some little boys and goofing around with them. They were definitely the kind of eye candy I want while lounging around the pool. And of course it was pretty nice to have them checking the sis and I out. It was a good day at the pool.

Day 14: The last day is always pretty bittersweet. Sweet, because it’s a day to enjoy and make the most of. Bitter, because it means packing up and heading back to the same old same old. Usually by the time the 2 weeks is over the condo and area feel like home (okay, Atlantic City does NOT feel like home, but the condo is home-like). It’s almost as if we could actually live our lives out of the condo if we decluttered and brought all our stuff out to meet us. Am I going to miss New Jersey? Probably not. Will I want to come back to Atlantic City? Definitely not. It was nice while it lasted: the sun, the hot tub, the pool; but I think I’m actually ready to go home. Maybe it’s the anticipation building up for university. Maybe it’s the fact that I miss my people back home. Whatever the reasoning, it’s been good, but it’s time.

Day 15: A.K.A. checkout day A.K.A. my birthday (my 18th to be exact) and what better way to spend it than in my favourite city? Not only did I get to relive bits and pieces of my NYC trip, but I got to play tour guide too and stay in one of those hotels that the main character in a film stays in when they go to the city. It’s been the best birthday yet, even if the sis picks fights, even if tomorrow is going to be a mad dash. 18, has been a great one.

Day 16: Today it’s the mad race against time as the Shawn Mendes concert looms in front of us. The only thing standing in our way is the 8 hour drive and the threat of traffic, construction, and getting stuck at the border. This definitely wasn’t our best plan but it makes for an interesting journey and a fun story. After all, not many people wake up in NYC to finish with a night out in TO. This should be fun.

P.S. If you made it all the way to the end, thank you for sitting through this, you’ve got my gratitude

P.P.S. we made it to the concert, time to spare and all

- 08/15/2017

#blog #blog post #travel blog #new jersey #atlantic city #travel #journal #vacation #summer #new york city #philadelphia #shawn mendes

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opepin · 8 years ago

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april: week four

24: i felt bloated in the morning and my body woke up at 6:30 am. i laid in bed for a bit and then got up and did 30 minutes of cardio. it was a good session. i felt much better after. then i showered, ate breakfast, and said goodbye to kevin. i caught an even later train at 8:45 am and i still got to the office at around 9:15 am LOL. is it worth going early anymore...? it’s nice not to rush too much in the morning. i shared the pocky i got yesterday with everyone. charles hated it, cole liked it, and steve said he liked it too. steve never had original pocky so i will definitely bring him some! it’s still too grape-y imo. we did a bit of work and then charles, cole, and i walked over to the gogi on the block food truck at around 11:15 am and got rice bowls and yuja smoothies. mmm. the rice bowl with bulgogi was yummy! i would get it again, but it wasn’t like amazing. it’s definitely something i would recommend though. :) cole and charles really liked it too! i had lunch with the dev guys and then headed back to the office for a 12 pm call.

i worked real hard for the rest of the day. i made sure to get what i wanted to get done before leaving the office. i got to leave a bit early too because i was so productive. yay me! i walked to south station with cole and he actually wanted to get food from mcdonald’s. so we went and we stopped by the coin souvenir cranks and cole gave me 50 cents to get me a boston tea party one! thanks! :) two homeless guys came up to us during our visit to south station. i think it’s because we stopped walking. anyway, cole ate and we talked for a bit. then we caught our trains. cole got pulled over by police for a random bag check? i didn’t know they had those in boston??? still confused about it, but i got home and then chilled for a bit. then i did my exercise, showered, and cooked dinner! it’s been such a long time since i’ve made dinner. of course, i made the kale coconut stir fry and then kevin got back from climbing, showered, and we ate dinner while watching black mirror. this episode was about social status via likes and ratings and it was lulz. kevin didn’t like the episode because all the characters weren’t likable. then we called it a really early night. we both went to sleep at around 11 pm. kevin was tired from staying up and gaming LOL.

25: both kevin and i woke up at 7 am. well, i woke up and i went back to sleep...and kevin stayed up listening and watching a game in the dota tournament that’s going on. i got out of bed at 8 am and then did 30 minutes of hip hop cardio. then kevin made us breakfast, we ate, he continued watching games, and i went to shower off and then we were out the door at 9:10 am. my doctor is now located 3-5 minutes away from the apartment and we drove there and got lost because it was a large suburban company area... we found the tuft’s branch at the end of the long road. i was a bit late because we did get lost but everything went smoothly. i got blood work done again just to make sure i don’t have any deficiencies, thyroid problems, etc. she guessed that i may have celiac disease? but i’m not allergic to gluten? hmmm. well, the blood tests will let me know. kevin picked me up and then we continued our work day from home.

the day went by pretty quickly. i got all of my work done. kevin and i had a spontaneous nap session for like 10 minutes or so lol. then i went to exercise. i’m noticing that regular pilates and focused ab workouts don’t tire me out as much anymore. i did about 40 minutes of just abs and i felt like i wanted to do more cardio. x__x; kevin started cooking because we were just so hungry throughout the entire day? i’m guessing kevin was hungry because his body wasn’t used to waking up at 7 am. i was hungry because... i don’t even know... well, i showered and then we ate while watching black mirror. my favorite episode is still ‘white christmas.’ this one was interesting and scary af though. kevin went to game and i took this extra time (it was only 9 pm!!!) to play ‘bravely default’ and look at my finances, ahha. i brushed my teeth and went to bed at around 11 pm. yay. go me!

26: it was so dark outside. i thought i woke up at 5 am but it was 7 am... i got up and then did a hiit workout and it was intense af. o__o i think it’s because i haven’t been pushing myself enough this week (i think i overdid it last week though). i felt really good afterward. it’s all about finding the right balance. i showered, ate breakfast, said goodbye to kevin, and then got on the train at like 8:45 am and got to the office at 9:17 am. mathew was there but i was the second one in...LOL. notice that i’m taking the train later and later. x__x; anyway, i thought i would be super unproductive because of the weather but i got pulled into dave and mathew’s brainstorming session and then got to catch up with phil and got new work to do. it was exciting! haha i’ve been on that video and tutorial grind for too long now. we broke for lunch and dave had to get into a call. i microwaved my food, ate it at my desk, and then took a walk outside. i got rained on the last minute and ran back in. then i had a good long call with phil about moving forward.

i worked on some tasks left to me in the call for the rest of the day and then left work a bit before 5 pm. i was the last one out (besides michelle who was on a call). i thought kevin was supposed to go climbing today but he didn’t and i got to south station way earlier than him. i took it home because he still had some work to get done. :< i was a bit sad because i love taking the train home with him. i got back, picked up a package (which was the mug replacement that kevin got for me <333) and then chilled and waited for him to get home. he was feeling sick and tired and we ended up napping on the bed for about 1-2 hours LOL. we woke up a few times and one of those times, i just forced him back to sleep with me HAHAHA. we got up at 8 pm and then i was a bit grumpy but i exercised it off while kevin cooked salmon and bok choy for dinner. we ate and watched another episode of black mirror. ugh, all of the protagonists are so unlikeable right now. i liked yesterday’s episode more than this one. then kevin got on a call with haoqi while i played some bravely default. i stayed up a bit after kevin finished his call and went to sleep before 12 am.

27: i did a tabata workout this morning and then decided i should curl my hair because it was looking odd and flippy this morning. i still made it to the 8:45 am train, ate my breakfast, said goodbye to kevin (he was wfh today), and got to the office at 9:12 am? what? then cole and i headed over to kane’s donuts and got the office half a dozen doughnuts because it was a beautiful thursday :) we got a(n): apple fritter, butter crunch, old fashioned glazed, snickers, honey blueberry pie, and boston cream doughnut. the butter crunch was delicious and i didn’t like the pie one that much. we got the last apple fritter, huhuhu. i talked to steve and cole about real estate, food, and then the lakes? haha. then i went and started my day. i had a quick customer call that went well and then i worked on finishing up something from yesterday and continuing with tutorial stuff. we had an odd standup that wasn’t an actual standup but it the actual standup got canceled? haha. then i spent some time ordering my mom’s mother’s day gift on the phone (this thing was sold out online, not in the closest store to me, and was the last one in the store i called to order it).

i signed up for book of the month club (so excited) and i also took a short 10 minute walk to enjoy the warming weather. cole got real angry at the business men today because they mistook him for the pizza delivery guy in the rudest way -__-’ anyway, i had lunch at my desk and watched some youtube videos. then i went back to work. i felt that food coma coming on but i just kept going. i finished all of my work early and then me and cole walked over to south station. he went to meet with his sister for dinner and then i took the train home to kevin :) kevin finished cooking and then took a really long nap. i think he napped from 6 to 9 pm. i did my workout, showered, ate by myself because he was still sleeping LOL, watched the newest episode of jane the virgin, and planned things with hillary and daniel for their weekend in boston. then i woke kevin up, he ate dinner, and i went to bed while he stayed up playing some games. i don’t think he stayed up too late though.

28: i forgot to set an alarm for myself this morning but both me and kevin woke up at 7:30 am! i did my work out at 8:30 am and then started my day. kevin made me breakfast -- he took a sick day today because he wasn’t feeling well. then i did some work and played a bit of bravely default. today bae and phanpy are flying over and i can’t wait! it was a really chill work day. although, i did miss out on connecting with phil at the end of the day, which made me feel bad. x( kevin and i had to meet up with hillary and daniel to get their luggage though so they could make it to the game on time. so we hopped on the train and waited for them (their bus was experiencing some rush hour traffic). we met up with them and then sent them right off :) kevin and i took their luggage back and then i exercised and kevin cooked. then i showered and kevin continued gaming. i spent the night just chilling and gaming and then preparing the bed and towels and stuff for them. they came back at around 9 or 10 pm and then i just talked with them until 1 or 2 am. lol i got real tired though. kevin hit the hay real early too. zzzzz.

29: daniel and hillary woke up hella early and worked out. i woke up at around 9 or 10 am and then did a 45 minute work out while hillary did some homework. daniel left to grab breakfast with his friend in the morning. we waited for kevin to get out of bed (this boy woke up at 4 am and watched a dota game until 6 am). then we headed over to the sowa open market and met up with daniel there. the moment we got there, we realized all of us were pretty hungry so we yelped a place and found out that ‘area four’, a place that hillary looked up earlier in the morning for brunch, was nearby! so we walked there and got the best freaking service ever. the decor was also bomb and so was the food. i loved it there. :) hillary and daniel got the hong kong waffle and breakfast pizza. kevin and i got the deep fried apples and caramel and a hot mess skillet. yummm. daniel got the swipe right drink, which was an orange vanilla flavor mint drink? it was pretty delicious. the owner didn’t charge us for kevin’s oj and daniel’s beer. so nice! they also let daniel sample beer! wowow. i can go on and on.

after we paid, hillary and daniel got a lyft to fenway and then kevin and i went back to the market to see if we could get any produce. turns out there’s no produce at the market but we got a loaf of sun-dried tomato and garlic bread from when pigs fly. then we headed back home. we relaxed for a bit and then planned meals for the week and then drove over to lucky fortune grocery store where we kinda figured that the produce there wasn’t better than kam man but they just had a wider selection. i got a bit grumpy because we had to make a stop at kam man anyway but i apologized and we worked it out. ><” sorry about getting mad about the little things. i just wanted to be efficient. we only spent $15 or so on our groceries this week ;D haha. hillary and daniel came back at around 8 pm and then we drove to shaking crab only to find out that it was hella packed O_O so we went to fat cat and ordered out. i feel like it was a win-win situation. ;P

i got the ahi tuna wrap and kevin got the lobster mac and cheese. daniel got the lobster mac, hillary got the thai mussels, and they shared calamari. they devoured everything O_O omg, so impressive. kevin and i called it a night pretty early? i had trouble sleeping because of all the salt and food in my tummy, but i felt super sleepy a couple hours after eating. daniel watched some streams on his phone while hillary did homework.

30: we all slept in LOL. hillary and daniel headed into the city at around 12 pm to explore and get pastries and kevin and i left for worchester’s vegfest shortly after. the drive was interesting because we experience super warm and sunny weather then cloudy weather then slight rain and then pouring rain LOL. it was so cold by the time we got there. T_T but we got there and it was packed af. we got some delicious italian ice, tried some kombucha, bought some vegan cheese :O, and realized that we hate being in crowded busy places LOL. i saw people eating fomu ice cream so we tried to track it down but it was too late. they were packing up when we found them. i also went into the bathroom and it was disgusting and people are so mean. :( the lady that got out of the stall before me clogged the toilet with toilet paper and didn’t even bother to tell me so i went in the stall and came out and told the lady after me that the toilet is clogged and not to go in there and she just assumed that i did it and said “gross.” wtf. anyway, we decided to get into the long af line to the vegan treats bakery booth and also got a carrot dog on the wait there! lol it was literally a carrot in a hot dog bun lawls. it was really good with the sauce and toppings though! the hot dog bun itself was delicious.

i got a hazelnut notella cheescake, coconut rice pudding, chocolate-covered cannoli, and chocolate chip cannoli for $28 T___T LOL the french pastries were super expensive, but eh, yolo right? the cheesecake was my favorite and the cannolis were pretty good. kevin never had a cannoli but he has now and he really likes them :P we drove back in time to park and walk to hojoko. we had an argument on the way back about how i make him / other people feel dumb when asking questions (lol he asked a very inquisitive question) and i responded negatively, but we’ve talked about this and i really did try to bring the conversation back, but at that point, kevin was just frustrated at me, but it’s okay, we talked it out and i will continue trying. :) we ordered the wasabi roulette, kimchi fried rice, uni toast, okonomiyaki, and yakisoba to share. the portion sizes are small for 4 people but still yummy! i was the one who got the piece with 2 grams of wasabi T__T but the horchata baby bottle was A+! haha.

daniel got the dahk n’ stormy and a beer. i got the tokyo tea -- it was good but there was so much tequila in there! lol i am definitely off my game permanently from drinking now. it was fun eating and chatting with everyone <3 hillary and daniel went off to the game and then kevin and i drove back home. we showered and relaxed and then kevin gamed while i did some exercise (had to hit 10k steps) and then i just brushed my teeth and went to sleep at around 11 am. kevin let daniel and hillary in after they came back from the game.

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