#i forgot how much i loved her since tb

[pedgito]

RUTINA WESLEY as MARIA THE LAST OF US | 1.06 — 'Kin'

[crguang]

ok, so, I wasn’t sleeping bc I probably just have insomnia, possibly my depression, and also I’d just moved in to my dorm and I suck at sleeping in new places, lol, dw tho I slept for like most of the weekend and I’ve been sleeping regularly this week.

I honestly forgot that we don’t actually know wtf the stellaron hunters are actually doing , line they literally could just be lying abt everything. Actually none of them even say anything except Kafka , blade has his own thing going on, silver wolf is usually behind the scenes fucking around and firefly just didn’t say a thing , like come on, TB didn’t even think to ask anything, there was that dreamscape pass thing of whatever it’s called and the quote from 2.3 is like “Once, we dreamed of being strangers.Upon waking up, we realized we had always loved each other.” Which I assume is abt TB and firefly, and I do kind of wish we got some more stuff about TB’s past with the stellaron hunters, especially since firefly was so important, but it’s whatever. I am actually kind of interested in the script, what Elio tells them to say, and the stuff they’re just making up as they go. Especially since firefly’s script for penacony was just a few words (also firefly said she was part of the iris family the acting/performing one bc she carries out scripts). And Kafka was told was to tell TB during her interrogation abt what they’re doing on the Luofu, but I’m not sure if she’s just lying after that 😭Kafka has some explaining to do when she comes back very soon, in the main story.

hsjajsmskdmnx the arrests on the Luofu are so silly tho, especially since jing yuan pardoned her so she’s not technically wanted there anymore BUT I STILL WANT HER even tho she’s literally worth almost 11 billion by the IPC. The IPC stuff kind of bothers me tbh, they’re not the government, but also they’ve got a fair amount of authority, I feel like pardoning the stellaron hunters wouldn’t be allowed, like I don’t understand how Jing yuan did that without getting in trouble 😭 especially with the most wanted one. And topaz APPARENTLY doesn’t know who the stellaron hunters are, in her voice line abt them she said she didn’t know who they were but they had a good credit score ITS KAFKAS CREDIT SCORE SHES THE ONE W THE CARD and like it’s funny bc that means Kafka registered it under her actually name, and no one cares. Like it would’ve been funnier if she said like the wanted criminals, the ones who blah blah blah, but they have a good credit score. And jade knew exactly abt firefly and the other stellarom hunters, and even tho they’re different ranks topaz should know them. Especially considering the fact that they’re pretty infamous, ig I shouldn’t be nitpicking especially since march literally says when in Rome one time, but whatever.

sorry for ranting 😭 hope you’re doing ok!

-🌠

hope you’re doing a bit better!! insomnia is a bitch, make sure to take care of yourself as much as u can <3

i totally agree with you on the stellaron hunters not revealing anything, i dont really expect them to since we’re still quite early in the game timeline wise but it’s a bit disappointing for the TB to have gotten close to firefly and she never alluded to them knowing each other before, especially when the game’s marketing was pushing romantic implications between them😭 and the trailblazer’s “idgaf” mentality is a bit annoying because i get wanting to move forward and not wanting to be burdened by the past but not being curious at all is… weird. even march, who was repeatedly told not to look into her past, got upset about it at some point. and in the TB’s case, their connection with the stellaron hunters is actively shaping their present/future, so it’s not like they gain nothing from asking a few questions. kafka was the one who encouraged them to get some information from her when they were alone by playing truth or lie, like they don’t care😭 it’s annoying cause i wanna knowwww. a big missed opportunity with firefly imo, we could’ve gotten a pattern of learning a little bit about the trailblazer on every planet they stop by and it’d have been nice. instead all i get is trashcan and raccoon jokes like oh brother are we 8. i wonder what the script actually says, the SH says he always tells the right future but from what we know , it feels super vague. “experiencing 3 deaths” “finding the stellaron in a non-physical way” is not precise at all like how do they even carry those orders😭 no wonder they have liberty to do lots of stuff during missions, there’s barely anything in the damn script

about jing yuan, he’s general of the luofu and the xianzhou has its own regulations and criminal law, the ipc has no control over how they treat their prisoners and their bounties dont really matter to the xianzhou unless they want the money LMFAO, so the ipc has no jurisdiction to punish jing yuan for letting the SH get away. not to mention that the alliance and the ipc have trade agreements and stuff, so their relationship would be damaged and the ipc wouldnt benefit from that. at the end of the day they’re a corporation, they don’t really care for justice.

what bothers me is TOPAZ. IT MAKES NO SENSE. she’s a stoneheart in the same division as jade, sure jade is more cunning and always looking for opportunities to make profits but not knowing them at all is so ridiculous and unrealistic fr. they’ve broken into pier point like twice and that’s her place of work😭😭😭😭😭😭 no way she never heard anything about it to not form an opinion on them. i feel like giving her a voiceline about them was just for the credit score joke which also makes zero sense because why would any of them pay taxes to the corporation that wants them dead or imprisoned. how would the ipc even know which credit card is theirs and why are they doing nothing about it like its so stupid… herta froze all of silver wolf’s accounts cause she was feeling petty but youre telling me the ipc is monitoring their credit scores?.. like im not going to lie i dont take the ipc seriously at all. silver wolf was literally participating in a tournament they sponsored and they just let her compete. like that girl was on the big screen with people cheering her on… for a company that would benefits from civilians fearing/hating the SH, they really dont give a fuck. once again it lowers the stakes and makes the story less exciting for me, and in general it’s inconsistent and weird narration wise to approach heavy themes while simultaneously making a joke of everything. if that makes sense 😭 like the tonal shifts are always very harsh and out of place, it’s one of the things i hate the most about hsr. having the trailblazer crack a stupid joke when everyone’s super serious (which often gets them ignored by dan heng or makes march’s face turn unimpressed, or has her tell them now isnt the time) is starting to annoy me like we get it they’re dumb as rocks omg. when cocolia died at the end of the belobog mission and march’s first words were “well! what an adventure!” in front of bronya hello?!? having no tact in actual serious situations isnt endearing to me like u can just keep ur mouth shut atp

anyway sorry i ranted i guess i needed that off my chest HDJFKFKG

[baekhvuns]

Ah hello, I forgot to answer earlier 🔫

HA HA HA WHAT THE FUCK that "Seonghwa is a work of art" post you sent I was about to do the same 👁👄👁

"Don't worry about the European tour" he said... Well, I'm worried darling...

Wonhyuk a dedicated Atiny, he probably has a stan account too lol. He and that To1 guy who cried when the Teezers won, I recently searched for his Ateez moments and he's been mentioning them since 2020, cuteee. Me af

Damn I felt awkward after winning a few calls last time, but it's not like I see them THAT often. Some people are there EVERY SINGLE TIME. As much as I like seeing some videos, not everything has to be posted, especially if you tell them shitty things ☠☠☠☠ snitching on themselves? Clown behaviour

"Kept seeing Seonghwa" me everywhere I go lmao. I don't get those school thoughts, but dreams & nightmares yeah. And it's usually me failing and avoiding classes then shitting myself because of exams. No alphas please 🤐 but angel Hwa... Taemin's lore... yeah I'm listening

Imagine attending a Shinee concert with Hwa (imagine attending a Shinee concert in general, lmao good luck if you're not in SK or Japan 🤡 I wanna see them agaaaaain)

Me and Tae haunting you miss Baek

Speaking of Twilight, Yeosang you good, you need help? They're both bad, but come on... TB was sexy and bloody, but the love triangle again and ofc I was team the other guy 🙄

Omfg yes SM do something right and put the devils together. How could I forget about mr TY and his Ghost?! It was very hot of him

Well I LIKE VILLAIN Y/N IDC. "Why would he think of someone else" well do I have news for you, some people get married AND think of other people kaydishsjshjshshs. I wonder how the relationship between Hwa and Y/N develops then 👁👁 Oh I know he's gonna be obsessed, clown behaviour after disliking her LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. But he'll be in a competition with ME

Please free Chungha because she needs to slay agaon, I searched for her photos, because I'm trying to make a BIIIIIIG collage with my fave kpop photoshoots and her dark concepts wowowow

No because Sayonara Hitori is one of Taem's best songs and it's a Japanese track?! (the Korean one is fine, but the OG hits different)

You wanna hear the falsettos, bestie most don't sing live 😅😭 but yeah I get what you mean, sometimes they keep talking, but sometimes I am the one talking so 🤭

I'm confused about Mingi's current colour but he looks great. I thought red Mingi was my fave, but I think wolf Mingi takes the cake for me 💞

None of my cats wanted to cooperate, but one time my Tiny was on the windowsill and I slightly aimed the camera at her for Hwa to see and he was like "aaaaaa kitty" and asked about her name 🥰

What is that video you sent 😭 what if they dropped the baby also the way I thought it'd be Baek but no it's The Rock 😭 whose baby are we stealing?!

Bestie did you read the new fic from miss tenelka, because I stayed up late last night even though I had to wake up early, because SPICY 😳 - DV 💖

hi hello!!!

HA HA HA WHAT THE FUCK that "Seonghwa is a work of art" post you sent I was about to do the same 👁👄👁

👁👄👁 aRE U IN MY DRAFTS????

"Don't worry about the European tour" he said... Well, I'm worried darling...

i guess we’re seeing it through the screens rather than irl bc no euro but a whole cb???? 😭😭😭🤚🏼

Wonhyuk a dedicated Atiny, he probably has a stan account too lol. He and that To1 guy who cried when the Teezers won, I recently searched for his Ateez moments and he's been mentioning them since 2020, cuteee. Me af

ateez fr have only atinys and elast HDJQBD I BET HE DOES AND I BET ITS A HWA ONE TOO 😭😭😭 no it’s so cute when their fans are idols too and they show it in public like I WOULD BE CRYING AT THEIR WIN TOO & 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

Damn I felt awkward after winning a few calls last time, but it's not like I see them THAT often. Some people are there EVERY SINGLE TIME. As much as I like seeing some videos, not everything has to be posted, especially if you tell them shitty things ☠☠☠☠ snitching on themselves? Clown behaviour

no bc what’s there to talk about 😭😭 im sure even after a few there’s nothing to talk about,,, like it makes sense if u see them a little in a while but some fans doing it every fancall in that cb era 🔫🔫 NO LITERALLY NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE POSTED SOME THINGS ARE BETTER PRIVATE PLS,,,, no literally how are u not embarrassed bro come on 😭😭 like if u were an idol would u like it if someone said your hair isn’t good change it ?????? 🔫🔫🔫

"Kept seeing Seonghwa" me everywhere I go lmao. I don't get those school thoughts, but dreams & nightmares yeah. And it's usually me failing and avoiding classes then shitting myself because of exams. No alphas please 🤐 but angel Hwa... Taemin's lore... yeah I'm listening

FBWNBDKFBWM EVERY WHERE I SEE THIS MAN EVERY WHERE,,, omg bestie i could never avoid a class bc id always be thinking “what if he said something in class and it was important 🔫 and it’s on the exam 🔫” when teachers don’t post slides 🔫🔫 NO ALPHAS??? I THOUGHT U LIKED FURRIES 🤨🤨 angel hwa or vampire hwa now 🔫

Imagine attending a Shinee concert with Hwa (imagine attending a Shinee concert in general, lmao good luck if you're not in SK or Japan 🤡 I wanna see them agaaaaain) Me and Tae haunting you miss Baek,,, Speaking of Twilight, Yeosang you good, you need help? They're both bad, but come on... TB was sexy and bloody, but the love triangle again and ofc I was team the other guy 🙄

NAURRR THE IMAGINE ATTENDING ONE IN GENERAL HIT HARD IT’ll BE SO HARD TO ATTEND ESP NOW AND AFTER TAEMIN COMES TOOO 😭😭😭 STOP THIS IS RIDICULOUS IF THEY COME FOR CONCERTS WE NEED TWO DAYS IN ONE CITY OR SOMETHING,,, id be absolutely honoured if you and taehyung haunt me,, pls be the speaking person between me and taehyung so my thv fan girl dreams true 🤲🏼🤲🏼 we talking about tb but my guy hagrid passed on 😭🤚🏼

YEOSANG JDBWJDHWK PLS 😭😭😭 hear me out, yeosang as a cullen 😵‍💫 wAIT DID U SIDE WITH THE BLOND HAIRED GUY??

Omfg yes SM do something right and put the devils together. How could I forget about mr TY and his Ghost?! It was very hot of him

sm the devil unit wHEN NO HOW COULD U ANON HOW COULD U FORGET TAEYONG 🔫🔫🔫 all of them in red suits too 😩😩 would start passing out

Well I LIKE VILLAIN Y/N IDC. "Why would he think of someone else" well do I have news for you, some people get married AND think of other people kaydishsjshjshshs. I wonder how the relationship between Hwa and Y/N develops then 👁👁 Oh I know he's gonna be obsessed, clown behaviour after disliking her LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. But he'll be in a competition with ME

LMFAOOOO NDBWKDBWK THE SHADE,, im super excited to see how their relationship turns out and the day, the time, the second he switches just like that and miss yn is “????? i-is anyone seeing this???” OH OBSESSED??? MAN LIVES AND BREATHS YN DBWNBD but do they end up together???? LMFAOOHFBDKWL ANON SIMPING FOR YN ALREADY??????????

Please free Chungha because she needs to slay agaon, I searched for her photos, because I'm trying to make a BIIIIIIG collage with my fave kpop photoshoots and her dark concepts wowowow

no bc i went on her company’s ig page and the last time they posted is in july 😭😭😭 I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE SOME PROMOS FREE OUR GIRLIE GO UNDER SM JOIN THE DEVIL UNIT PLS omg omg let us know how that goes!!!

No because Sayonara Hitori is one of Taem's best songs and it's a Japanese track?! (the Korean one is fine, but the OG hits different)

sayonara hotori (his japanese album) itself was my intro to taemin as a soloist and i could honestly could not have it any other way,,, truly mind blown esp after press your number 😮‍💨😮‍💨🤲🏼 NO BC WHY DO THE JAPANESE TRACKS HIT DIFFERENT THE EMOTION IN THEM 🤌🏼🤌🏼

You wanna hear the falsettos, bestie most don't sing live 😅😭 but yeah I get what you mean, sometimes they keep talking, but sometimes I am the one talking so 🤭

i would get 🔫🔫 if someone kept talking when im watching taemin or exo,,, iM THROWING HANDS

I'm confused about Mingi's current colour but he looks great. I thought red Mingi was my fave, but I think wolf Mingi takes the cake for me 💞

wolf mingi???? 👁👁 time to read miss ateezmakemeweep’s wolf mingi 👁👁

None of my cats wanted to cooperate, but one time my Tiny was on the windowsill and I slightly aimed the camera at her for Hwa to see and he was like "aaaaaa kitty" and asked about her name 🥰

THIS MAN IS SO CUTE

What is that video you sent 😭 what if they dropped the baby also the way I thought it'd be Baek but no it's The Rock 😭 whose baby are we stealing?!

LMFAOOOO JDVWNDBWK AND THE BABY LOLS LIKE A NEWBORN??? BRO WHY ARENT U AT HOME SLEEPING HELLO??? the rock holding a little pebble 😭😭😭 bestie yours..

Bestie did you read the new fic from miss tenelka, because I stayed up late last night even though I had to wake up early, because SPICY 😳 - DV 💖

BESTIE TBWNJDJANDMW. IM SCREAMING READING IT BC ITS SO GOOD HOW CAN ONE BE SO GOOD AT WRITING A FIC,, SPICY???? PHEW BESTIE THIS IS THAI FOOD LEVEL SPICY

2/2 FUCKING HELL it's me DV again, I forgot to answer the quiz 🤦🏼‍♀️ omg all the MCR options, made for me <3 I got: old cleaning lady at the vampire mansion, wbu? Just saying the mansion will NOT be clean, soz

LMFAOOOO 😭😭 I GOT THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER AT THE VAMPIRE MANSION 😭😭😭 but if they pay u 22$ per hour for the cleaning 👀🤚🏼 house would be sparkling clean— DBWMD FR HDQL AS I WAS WRITING THIS FBWMFHEK ATEEZ NEW ALBUM FHQJDHWKDHWKBDMW PARADIGM 😭😭😭 HWA BLOND IN 1080P

Let me attach some important links. I got;

NO NO NO

PLS A SMOOOCH INCOMING. Oh I am appreciating okay. LIPS MODEL SEONGHWA, any thoughts?

NO THOUGHTS NONE NONE EVER EVER 🔫

🥺 // His face is so kind 😭 // There's a meme that says "the world is too fast for Juyeon" because boy is so slow and...

Mingi THIS IS KILLING ME /// Oh and speaking of Gidle, my lil meow meows covered Tomboy and I need to promote them <3

ANON MINGI ERA INCOMING BFNWBDK MIGHT MAKE VILLIAN YNS LOVE INTEREST MINGI THEN

BUT SEONGHWA TUX????

bestie we about to be on war 🔫🔫

ITS A KPOP QUIZ THIS TIME DBDB

omg did u hear about the kamp la thing 😭😭

[ayameyumesaki]

SO LISTEN, MY TOKYO BABYLON CPC VERSION HAS COME HOME 🥺 So I must do this

Tokyo Babylon - CLAMP Premium Collection - Commentary

FIRST OF ALL, THE RED IN VOLUME 1 IS INDEED, MY FAVORITE RED. My camera doesn't do justice. And Subaru here is super cute, and handsome! I really love Subaru's vibes from CLAMP's recent artworks. Also, when he is alone or with Seishiro in CPC cover, he looks pretty much 15/16 y.o. to me, but he gets extra cuter when he is with Hokuto. Anyways, Volume 1 is amazing and even for the sake of collection, please buy it.

(I want to add that CLAMP did say that xxxHOLiC's symbol is pipe's smoke, and they decided that Tokyo Babylon's will be crown. It's kinda strange because it's clear that TB's symbol is a cross, seeing how it appears in original covers and Subaru/Hokuto's clothes, but I think they probably chose cross for X since they also have cross as one of their symbol, a heavier one compared to TB, but maybe also due to other reasons.)

I will comment every chapters and talk about some interesting, cute, or parts I want to highlight! First, I read the chapter 0, T.Y.O and the first thing I noticed is since Subaru used a fedora here, whenever he jumps or evading something, he keeps his hand on his fedora so it doesn't fall, and that's just... so cute of him 🥺 In case you forgot, we have character introduction and two cases in this chapter: the case of cheating entertainment figure, and Chanel suit.

Hokuto and Seishiro: talk about Subaru chose to exorcise (is this even a word in English) because of the girl's sake, not the man.

Subaru: Play with lil (unfortunate) dog

Hokuto: You don't need to hide (your relationship). Sei-chan said he falls in love with at the first sight!

The queen has spoken the truth. This man, indeed, falls in love with Subaru on the first sight and since then, hasn't been able to let him go even after his death. This man!

Subaru really gave the dog a red-bean paste bread 😭 I'm soft

Subaru: I'm just a normal onmyoji

Hokuto: EVEN ONMYOJI ITSELF ISN'T NORMAL AT ALL!

Honestly, the first half of her appearance in this chapter is just her screaming 😭

Subaru evading the lady's attacks and the notes next to him said "the nails of an office lady who did coating when manicure is strong" 😭 I'm dying

And in this panel, finally, we are shown how a normal 16 years old boy would react when he realized that he needs to take off the jacket. Hilariously panicked. Probably the only moment that's normal out of all Subaru's personality burned in my memory. This is so so so cute...

Then this is one panel that I have no recollection at all, and after reading the translation again, I was confused whether it was the translation that decided to exaggerate things or the text is actually changed from original to CPC version. Then again, I don't think CLAMP members said about changing the text, only Mokona-sensei reworked some background drawings. Then again, it doesn't differ that much though.

Hokuto said "That's right! In front of human's power (selfishness), even monsters and ghosts are powerless. Things like environment destruction or riots in Eastern European is like a lullaby for Japanese girls!!". It's funny because this is released in 1990 (the first tankobon is released in 1991 but the chapter is written/released in 1990) and Uni Soviet was still a thing, and now it's being re-released in 2022 and there is another war raging in Eastern Europe. Time is only repeating themselves in a loophole, isn't it?

There is another panel that differs from the translation I read, which is what Seishiro said after Subaru told Hokuto that her thinking is scary. He said "in front of girls, no matter what logic or theory (you said), it will bounce back because they have an invicible barrier (which means girls won't listen to what you said no matter how logical or theoritical it is)". I think this panel is funny, because Seishiro literally described Hokuto in one sentence, and it's funnier because Seishiro is probably defeated due to the very line he said himself (not listening to Hokuto's warning of her curse. And Seishiro isn't even a girl.

And Hokuto's respond is "You understand such thing, Sei-chan!" Oh my. He did.

Additionally, I want to add that you can feel how hard Hokuto ships Seishiro and Subaru better in the Japanese version. She is so excited to that and we can never be her for SeiSub 😞 She just loved these two.

Also, I can't put another picture but, the final line for T.Y.O chapter, and the very tagline for Tokyo Babylon is 「あなたは東京をきらいですか。」, which means "Do you hate "Tokyo"?". Subaru did say he loves Tokyo by the end of this chapter though it's because different reason from Seishiro, but the question is, by the end of Tokyo Babylon, does Subaru's opinion stay still or changed?

EDIT: I’m so genious to link the newest commentary to the first one, but never direct it to the next one, SO click here for the next part!

[slytherinwh0re]

🥑 hi can I please request a Draco headcanon where he finds out his normally quiet and a bit shy s/o is quite freaky between the sheets?

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors dni) and swearing

He fell in love with her fast, it was impossible for him not to

She cracked away at Draco’s hard exterior with ease and without any intentions of doing so, the girl who went unnoticed by many quickly became the center of his world

Her quiet nature and shy personality wasn’t something draco would usually go for but when she began opening up to him, he knew he was a goner

The small giggles drove him crazy and the blush he could always make appear on her face was the beginning of it all

They took things slow, he never wanted to push her into something she didn’t feel comfortable with and she loved him even more for it

Draco would always take his time with her, making sure she’d reach her high before he’d even allow himself to think of his own

Everything they did together was full of love, the kisses, the slow steady thrusts of his hips, the gentleness he’d caress her body with, all of it was to ensure his girl always knew that he loved and cared for her

So when Draco had accidentally wrapped his hand around her throat one night he’d expected her to shy away from him, it terrified him to think he might’ve just scared her away

But no

The girl moaned

His quiet girl moaned at the feeling of his large hand wrapped around the delicate skin of her smooth neck and fuck, was it the hottest thing he’d ever heard

“You like that?” He hadn’t moved his hand but instead squeezed just a little harder to see how she’d react

When she threw her head back and nodded eagerly Draco just had to find out what else she liked, it seemed that she wasn’t as innocent as he’d thought

“Do you mind if we try something else my love? If you don’t like it we can stop immediately” he removed his hand and watched her eyes for an ounce of hesitation

“Anything Draco.” She’d be death of him, he was sure of it

“Put your hands above your head” she does as she’s told and watches as the handsome wizard uses his wand to bind her wrists to the bed frame. “Okay?”

“More than okay” he’s in awe, the sight of his beautiful girl tied up under him was enough to make him cum right then and there but she was the important one, her pleasure always comes first and since it’s her first time doing anything like this he’d made it his personal goal to make sure she enjoys it to the fullest

He’d started slow, the familiar rhythm of his hips against hers made the witch lull her head back as he touched her body in the way only he knew how

Draco couldn’t help it when he’d pushed into her rather rough, the sight of her like this was too much, but when she’d screamed his name he made sure to keep up the fast pace, wanting to hear her say it again and again

He untied her, flipped her over onto all fours, and pushed her face down into the bed before slamming back into her

Draco let one of his hands message her cheeks before being it down on her in a firm slap “okay?”

“Yes Draco, more, please!” He massaged her red skin some more before bringing his hand down on the other cheek, his hips never slowing down as he fucked her into the mattress “I’m close, I’m gonna cum!” She screamed

“Cum for me, cum on my cock (y/n)” her walls clenched him in the best way, slick with her arousal and warm as she rocked back onto his cock as she rode out her high

His hips stuttered and he spilled himself into her, both his hands on her ass as his vision went white with pleasure

“Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?”

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[tagsecretsanta]

From @Psychoseal

to @avengedbiologist Secret santa does not won this fic, full credit to the author above

Scott is exhausted. Running his hand through his prematurely greying hair as he exits Thunderbird One, the only thing running through his mind is the thought of a long hot shower and the largest pot of coffee on the Island. 

All Scott has ever known in his life is responsibility. He doesn’t even remember the peaceful years before Virgil was born and his life flipped upside down. Before Virgil was born, he had a number of names. Sunshine, Sweetheart, Darling, Scooter are just a small sample. But then everything changed. And his name became “Scott don’t” “Scott don’t put the stickers on the baby. Scott don’t feed the baby your broccoli. Scott don’t climb the furniture.” 

But he learned to love Virgil, and by the time his youngest brother was born his new nickname was smother hen! 

Scott can even remember his first grey hair. He was nineteen and had just gotten witnessed his thirteen-year-old brother fall from the barn roof in a dare gone wrong. That first grey hair he named Gordon! 

Once he has escaped to the safety of his room, Scott quickly strips off his clothes before climbing under stream of fresh almost boiling water. He is so tired he doesn’t even realise that the water is dying his skin blue as he lathers shower gel into his hair, his eyes closed happily as the water helps him to relax. Finally. 

Flicking the water off, he strings a large fluffy towel around his hips. 

Then screams. 

A scream so loud it brings Grandma running up two flights of stairs from the kitchen and barging into his room. “Scott?” she gasps, struggling to catch her breath. The rolling pin she was using to make the pie crust still in the hand. “What happened?” 

“Gordon!” Scott growls. “Where is he?” 

“London with Lady Penelope on vacation and has been all week, I don’t think this is one of his” Grandma reminds him gently. 

“Never jump to conclusions Smurf” Virgil says having also heard the screams, and come running, stopping short when he spots his big brother and bursting into laughter. “Think, who have you annoyed recently, then follow the trail to the culprit” 

“Annoyed? I never annoy anyone” Scott splutters in protest. “I am going to borrow your bathroom to get rid of this ridiculous dye” 

“Sure Smurf just let me do something really important first” Virgil says, and before Scott has the time to run, Virgil snaps a photo of him and runs away laughing. 

“Grandma!” Scott protests, he can feel a new grey hair emerging. 

“Go and get a shower, I will have a word with Virgil” Grandma replies leaving him to his thoughts.

Scott’s thoughts are not pleasant, and involve drowning the responsible brother in boiling oil, or tarring and feathering them while he films their humiliation. Googling cruel and unusual punishment ideas once he is back to normal and hiding out in his own room, Scott smiles at some of the ideas and regrets the vote he lost to build an island jail for his wayward siblings. 

Lying back on his bed, his head resting on the pillow, Scott stares at the ceiling in the ever-increasing gloom of the early evening, but he doesn’t get up to put the light on, but he can’t sleep. The frustration with his brothers isn’t receding the longer he lies here. Revenge is the only thing he wants! 

*TB*

Gordon is back from leave the following morning. Carrying a bag full of gifts for his family. All neatly wrapped. 

“Where is everyone?” he asks Virgil who is the only one in the kitchen. 

Virgil doesn’t answer him while he focuses on draining his coffee instead. “Mmm, that is better! What did you ask Squid legs?” 

“Where is everyone?” Gordon repeats. Rolling his eyes and pouring himself a coffee.

“Alan and Scott are still in bed. You need to apologise to Scott. He didn’t think your prank was a good idea!” Virgil says. 

“What prank?” Gordon asks. His eyes wide and innocent.

“The dye in his shower head. How did you pull that off anyway? You weren’t even here” Virgil asks, he is impressed despite himself. If Gordon has evolved to pulling pranks remotely, then the whole island is doomed! 

“Oh that. I just gave Alan the instructions and told him where the joke kit is hidden. Alan is the guilty party, not me” Gordon insists.

“IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!” A voice booms from behind him, causing Gordon to startle and almost drop his coffee. 

“Smurf, hi” Virgil says, trying to dissipate the tension building between his two brothers. 

“I KNEW YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS” Scott roars at Gordon.

Gordon rolls his eyes picks up one of Grandma’s scented candles and throws it at Scott’s head. “Lighten up Smurf” he says before running from the room, Scott on his heels determined more than ever to pound the brat! 

Gordon runs up the stairs and out the main doors to the pool.

“No running by the pool Fish” Scott shouts at him, that thing in his brain telling him to protect his younger brothers kicking in again. 

Gordon once again is one step ahead of him as he dives into the pool, and swims across to the other side, before climbing up and continuing to run down to the beach still pursued by Scott, who can’t outswim him and he knows he can’t break an important safety rule. Gordon is fast, but Scott is angry and determined, and he catches up to him, tackling him to the ground. 

“What on earth?” Jeff asks in exasperation. “Gordon you only had one job!” 

Gordon struggles under Scott’s weight, as his eldest brother is now sitting on his chest, pinning his shoulders to the ground with his arms. “I got him here didn’t I?” 

“Let him up Scott please” Jeff asks.

“What’s the magic word?” Scott asks Gordon. 

“Abracadabra” Gordon replies. 

“Scott” Jeff asks again.

And Scott knows that this is the best he can hope for as he rolls off his brother and allows him to stand. “Why are you here?” he asks his dad. “And what did you mean when you said you got me here?” he asks Gordon, now thoroughly confused by the whole matter. 

“Come with me, and you will find out” Jeff replies cryptically. 

Scott follows his father and brother along the sandy pathway leading to a small cove Gordon discovered during his first summer on the island, before he stops in his tracks at the scene in front of him. 

All his favourite people in one place. something that rarely happens in his family. His brothers, even John, are all sitting on the floor around the preparations for a bonfire, yet to be lit. 

“Scott come and sit down” Grandma calls him over. There is a smile on her face, as she pats a spare piece of sand next to her. Scott does as he is told, even though he is confused by what is happening. 

He hasn’t even noticed a large pile of gifts, all neatly wrapped nearby where Alan is sat chatting to Colonel Casey. 

“Why is everyone here?” he finally asks, unable to resist the temptation any longer. 

“I TOLD YOU HE FORGOT!” Gordon cries gleefully. 

“Forgot what?” Scott asks, racking his brains desperately for anything he might have missed. It definitely isn’t Christmas as the villa’s not been decorated. And it isn’t one of his brother’s birthdays as there is no way he would be allowed to forget those. Alan still drops gift hints for months before the big day.

“Hand it over John” Gordon says holding his hand out for his winnings. John reluctantly hands over a twenty dollar bill. 

“Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?” Scott asks. Unable to take the laughter any longer. 

“What day is it?” Virgil asks, trying to help him out. 

“Erm Wednesday?” Scott replies. 

“It is Saturday Scott” Virgil replies rolling his eyes. “How about the month?” 

Scott knows this one. As it was Alan’s birthday recently. “March” Scott says this time confidently. 

“It’s April” Virgil says. 

“No it isn’t. Alan’s birthday was the other day” Scott insists. 

Virgil takes pity on his eldest brother. “Scott it’s the fourth of April. This is your birthday party!” 

“It can’t be. I would know if it was April already. Gordon is this an April fools’ joke?” Scott asks, turning his attention to Gordon, who is sitting on Lady Penelope’s lap while she hand feeds him grapes. “And can’t you do that in private?” 

“Nota April foolsh joke” Gordon confirms, his mouth full of half chewed grape.

“Ugh swallow first” Scott tells him disgusted, and still not convinced that it really is his birthday. 

“Scott, it really is April. And it really is your birthday. I am sorry I gave Gordon the job if getting you down to the beach, but happy birthday son” Jeff tells him. “We are worried about you though. You have been working far too hard recently. You missed Gordon’s April fools’ day prank because you were on Mars with Alan. it was a good one this year too” he adds.

“What did he do?” Scott asks. Remembering that this is Jeff’s first April fools’ since he got back from the Oort cloud. 

“Snuck into the GDF headquarters and left a notice on the board advising on a Chewbacca Roaring contest and to call my phone and leave a voicemail with their best effort and that I will judge them tomorrow. He even managed to set my phone to go straight to voicemail and put a message on it repeating the contest instructions.” Jeff tells him grinning. 

“And you found that funny?” Scott asks. 

“I did. And I have picked a winner already. Gordon will be paying the fifty-dollar reward though!” Jeff says. 

“Worth it” Gordon says with a shrug. “But Scott, seriously open your presents already!” 

Scott is still sceptical but he also knows that Colonel Casey and his father wouldn’t play a practical joke on him, maybe it really is his birthday.

Picking up the first gift from the pile. Scott knows without looking at it that this was wrapped by Gordon. It is wrapped in bright yellow paper and covered in so much tape he knows that it will take him hours to get in to! Sure enough the label reads “Yo scotty. Have fun getting into this. Love your favourite brother” 

“Hey look, he’s picked your gift Gords” Alan says with a grin, grabbing his phone and loading up the timing app. “Ready Scott?” he asks. 

“Ready for what?” Scott asks.

“Our party game; let’s see how long it takes you to get into the present. My guess is thirty-five minutes” Alan replies. 

Scott knows that he should play along, this has always been one of their favourite traditions. An invention of Gordon’s the first year he was old enough to wrap gifts. “Fine. Start the count” he says. 

“GO!” Alan calls. 

Scott tries to slide his nail under the tape but it is impossible. He can’t deny that Gordon is the master. Turning the badly wrapped gift over in his hands, looking for a way in Scott gets more and more frustrated as the minutes tick by, and starts to chew his way in, finally biting a hole through the tape and into the paper. 

“How long?” Gordon asks the official timekeeper.

“Six minutes, thirty-five seconds” Alan replies. “Dad and Colonel Casey have been eliminated from the game” 

“You all had bets?” Scott asks, he is laughing now though. Finally starting to relax.

“Of course” Jeff tells him. “We have been planning this for weeks” 

Scott is now working on making the hole bigger, sticking his thumb in and wriggling it about. the contents are confusing, as whatever is in here feels slimy. 

Pulling out a piece of still wet seaweed Scott is confused. “Seaweed?” he asks Gordon. 

Gordon grins at him. “Yep and there is something else in there too” 

Scott pulls out the rest of his gift. A book. 

“Stop the clock Al” Gordon says. 

“Eleven minutes, twenty-two seconds” Alan announces, checking the contest list for the closest. “Hey Virg, you won!” 

Virgil jumps up from the floor to do his victory dance, pumping his fist in the air and twirling around until he falls over his own feet. Picking himself up and spitting out sand, he turns to Scott. “What is the book Scott? I don’t think Gordon has ever even opened a book let alone bought one for someone else!” 

Scott examines the books cover. “1001 of the weirdest laws in the world” he realises that one of the pages is bookmarked. Opening the book Scott reads the highlighted passage “In New Hampshire, it is illegal to collect and carry away seaweed at the beach, but only at night.” 

“You didn’t?!” Scott asks, eyeing up his brother. “You went to New Hampshire in the middle of the night to get seaweed even though it is illegal?” 

Unrepentant, Gordon nods. “Yeah I even borrowed thunderbird one. Do you like it?” 

“Like it?!” Scott asks spluttering with laughter. “Only you Gords. Come here” 

Gordon scrambles to his feet from Lady Penelope’s lap and runs over to Scott, who grabs him by the waist and tackles him to the ground. “Of course I like it! Who doesn’t love gifts that have been gathered illegally?” 

The rest of Scott’s presents are more normal. A painting of Thunderbird One over the Island from Virgil, which will look great above his bed. “Thanks Virg. I love it” He says, now with genuine enthusiasm. 

“The cavern quest expansion pack” Scott says opening up his gift from Alan. 

“Yeah, I am going to need that back once you are done” Alan says. 

“Sure” Scott replies, handing it over. He does not have the time to play mindless video games. 

Alan rolls his eyes. “Scott. You have to play it first. Come and see me tomorrow and Kayo and I will teach you” 

“You know I don’t have the time” Scott reminds them. 

“You do, we cleared your schedule for the rest of the week. You are on vacation and we are going to teach you to have fun!” Alan insists.

“I know how to have fun” Scott insists. 

“Scott, your idea of fun is doing paperwork, nagging me and cleaning your room” Gordon tells him. 

Making the only decision that will allow him to keep his dignity, Scott ignores Gordon and goes back to his presents. This one is from Grandma and turns out to be vouchers for an evening out at his favourite restaurant. “Thanks Grandma, but can I leave Gordon and Alan here to eat your lasagne, they really like the way you leave it frozen in the middle but burn the top layer.” 

“Scoooooo-oooooott!” Gordon and Alan whinge in unison. 

“Call it big brother’s revenge!” Scott replies with a grin. 

Their pouting doesn’t last long as Scott unwraps his gift from his father. 

Shocked by the contents, Scott just stares at him. 

“Well?” Jeff asks.

“I can’t” Scott insists. “International Rescue needs me. They need me” 

Scott has been raising his younger brothers for so long, he has not had a proper vacation in years. But this states he can have a whole month away from all the worry and stress. 

“We can cope. The GDF are going to take care of some of the simple rescues. The hood and the Chaos Crew are all safely locked away in the newly rebuilt Hex prison. I don’t think they liked the irony of being locked up in a prison they blew up!” Jeff says. “It is okay to admit you need a break Scott” 

Scott can feel tears welling up in his eyes, and it his father who makes the first move, wrapping his arms around his eldest son, who has been so strong for so long. 

“We love you Scooter” Jeff says. “You have held this family together beautifully, but please let me help you” 

Scott nods. His head still buried on Jeff’s shoulder. 

“If I do, please don’t let Gordon have Thunderbird one!” Scott says, trying to inject some humour into the situation. 

“Oh I don’t know; he did a g-g-great job while you were on Mars. A-a-apart from the unauthorised t-t-trip to New Hampshire” Brains says.

“Oh don’t forget the drone he crashed into the Eiffel tower” John says. 

“And the flood in the hangar when he was trying to clean off the mud off after he had to rescue the three explorers from a mudslide in Italy” Virgil says.

“Stop it, or he will never agree to leave” Jeff says. 

“Where am I going to go?” Scott asks. 

“Anywhere you want son” Jeff replies. Still holding him in his embrace. “We can talk about it after the party. Now how about you open some more presents, then we can get the bonfire started and grill some breakfast” 

Scott doesn’t make an effort to move from Jeff’s side, but happily opens the rest of his presents. Finally realising that they are right, he has been so wrapped up in the problems of the world that he has been carrying that weight on his soul, and it is slowly crushing the life out of him. Maybe, just maybe he can take a vacation. 

*TB*

The party lasts all day, thank you to the organisational skills of his family there are no emergency call outs, as Eos is forwarding the calls to local authorities and the GDF. The sun is starting to set, but the party is still going strong. Gordon and Lady Penelope have disappeared somewhere more private, but everyone else is there.

Alan is in charge of the music. Having set up a playlist and letting it go.

“GUYS COME ON! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE” Alan calls when the introduction to his favourite some comes on. “LINE UP” 

No one moves as the opening lines of the macarena start up. 

Alan grabs Jeff’s hands and pulls him into a standing position. “Come on dad, pleeeeeeaaaaassssssse!” he begs, giving his father the wide doe eyed start that no one, not even the great Jeff Tracy. 

“Okay fine show me what to do” Jeff replies. 

“Great! Okay Scott, Virgil, John, Grandma, Kayo, Parker, Brains, Colonel Casey” Alan calls while he starts going through the movements of the dance.

Virgil is the first to join in. knowing that Alan needs this just as much as Scott does. Taking his phone, he tries to contact Gordon. A family macarena isn’t the same without the family fish. 

“Hey Virg, what’s up?” Gordon asks. 

“Where are you?” Virgil asks. 

“Thunderbird one with Pen” Gordon replies. 

“Please tell me you’re just giving her a tour” Virgil asks facepalming. 

“Sure” Gordon replies with a shrug.

“Anyway stop it, and get back to the beach, we are having a family dance off” Virgil says. 

“You know I am going to win right?” Gordon asks, ringing off without giving Virgil a response. Pulling his shirt back on, he helps Lady Penelope zip back up her dress before they hop down from the pilots seat and exit Scott’s plane before running hand in hand back to the beach. 

“The macarena?” Gordon says with a grin. “Put it back to the beginning Al” 

Alan skips the track back to the start, and Gordon takes centre stage. Wriggling his hips before jumping up into the air crying “HEY MACARENA!” every single time. 

Even Parker and Grandma join in. the move on to the cha cha slide and the YMCA before collapsing into a heap on the floor laughing. 

“What song next DJ Allie?” Kayo asks. Even she has relaxed, her hair no longer in its customary tight pony tail but falling loosely around her shoulders. 

Alan grins before jumping up to his feet and skipping over to his phone. 

“No way. This I draw the line too!” Kayo says as the opening to baby shark starts to blare through the speakers. 

“SCOTTY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO! Gordon starts. “SCOTTY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO” 

John is the first to join in. “SCOTTY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO” 

Jeff joins in too “SCOTTY SHARK!” 

Kayo groans, but she knows when she is defeated.  “VIRGY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO VIRGY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO VIRGY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO VIRGY SHARK!” 

This is the version of the song Jeff would sing to Alan and Gordon to get them to sleep after their mom died. It never got them to agree to go to sleep but became a family tradition along with their bedtime stories. 

“JOHNNY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO JOHNNY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO JOHNNY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO JOHNNY SHARK! 

Lady Penelope is looking at the boys and Jeff like she has never seen them before while they do the baby shark song dance like the madmen, she always suspected they are. But she can’t help but join in. 

“GORDY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO GORDY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO GORDY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO GORDY SHARK!” 

“ALLIE SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ALLIE SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ALLIE SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ALLIE SHARK!” 

Lady Penelope stops there she has no idea what will come next, as there is no way they will hunt prey! 

“TRAPPED IN A CAVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO TRAPPED IN A CAVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO TRAPPED IN A CAVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO TRAPPED IN A CAVE” 

“LET’S GO SAVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO LET’S GO SAVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO LET’S GO SAVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO LET’S GO SAVE!”

“SAFE AT LAST DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO SAFE AT LAST DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO SAFE AT LAST DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO SAFE AT LAST!” 

“You guys are too adorable” Lady Penelope says. 

Night has fully fallen now, and with it the boys’ inhibitions and dignity have evaporated with the daylight and they are now dancing their way through whatever song that comes on. Wild songs that see them dancing round the fire all holding hands and laughing. Slow songs which Lady Penelope and Gordon take centre stage for, dancing like their the only two people in the world. Fast songs they dance wildly too. 

“Is anyone going to bed?” Jeff asks, just after four o’clock. The fire is starting to die down now, and with it the temperature is dropping. He is starting to feel the chill in the air and he can tell by looking at Alan who is standing over the dying fire, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm that he is not the only one. 

No one protests, as they tiredly march back to the house, Scott and Virgil taking the time to make sure the fire is out. 

*TB*

“So, Gordy Shark” Lady Penelope says once they are alone in Gordon’s room. “Want round two of what we got up to in Thunderbird One?” 

Gordon grins before he strips his shirt off and jumps into the bed. 

*TB*

Scott leaves for his vacation the following afternoon, carrying one rucksack full of everything he is going to need for his trip, after forcing all four of his brother’s sign a contract that they will tell him immediately if he is needed. 

There is an immense feeling of relief as he gets settled in the cabin he has rented, looking out of the window at the sun glittered lake. This is the perfect place, miles away from civilisation and the problems he deals with every day. 

The only issue he faces here, is will he want to return to that chaos when his dream holiday is over?

[journal-of-an-outlaw]

Red Dead Secret Cupid

Happy Valentine’s day @boedkerillustrations ! I hope you enjoy your angsty piece about Arthur, it was fun to write!

Arthur leaned up against a brick wall, enjoying the shade on the hot summer day at the park in Saint Denis. Droves of people swirled around him, mingling and mixing together with the same ebb and flow of a river moving leisurely around a rock. To be honest Arthur enjoyed the indirect attention. It allowed him to watch the people fret over little details of their day that seemed oh so important in the moment but tomorrow would be forgotten. The colors of their dresses. Who was coming to dinner. Where they should vacation next. 

Blah, blah blah. 

Talk was a worthless currency to a walking dead man. It didn’t matter. But stealing these little moments away drowned out the other words that constantly rang in his ears. 

Get yourself somewhere warm and dry. Progressive disease. Coughing. Blood. I’m so sorry, son. 

He pulled out a cigarette and held the lit match a few inches away, frozen between two impossible choices. Arthur knew he had no time left, that much the good doctor made clear. Did he spend his days burning the candle at both ends because there was an end in sight? Or did he cautiously move forward, save any and all strength he had to help the gang and those living longer than him?

But he took too long to decide. The match burned out and he dropped it and the cigarette both to the ground and crushed them with his boots out of habit. It seemed all his choices were made for him lately. He had lost his control. But that didn’t matter anymore. He knew that now. 

“Need a light?”

The gentle voice startled Arthur. A woman about his age moved along the wall, resting in the same pose and staring out into the crowd. The clothes were new, but that face he would recognize anywhere. 

“Lydia Jacobs. I’ll be damned.”

“Good to see you too, Morgan. Been too long,” her smile stretched wide and Arthur couldn't help but give one back as her brown eyes crinkled at the sides just like they always had. 

The pair met years ago but their time together was brief. Alone and desperate, she cornered Dutch in a bar begging for a safe place to lay her head for awhile, not knowing what she was getting herself into. Dutch had a soft spot for women in need. He liked to play the savior. He brought Lydia back to the camp he and Arthur shared and watched the two connect instantly. Lydia was no gun slinger, in fact she had been left behind as bait for another group for being too posh, but over the weeks learned enough to defend herself if needed. 

An expensive perfume wafted Arthur’s way with hints of jasmine and vanilla. He breathed in the pleasant scent and tried to remember if it was what she used to wear all those years ago but he couldn't quite recall the specific notes.

“It’s been, what, nearly ten years since I saw you? What are you doing here?” 

“I’m actually hunting a bounty. I know, I know, strange to hear,” she laughed at his bewildered expression. “But it’s a good income and I get to leave the city behind.”

“Though you’d be married, living in the city by now.” 

“Nah, that wasn’t the life for me.” 

Arthur watched her curiously, her eyes darting away at her words to look at anything but him. His own slanted but he was distracted as she scratched the back of her neck, her gloves catching his attention. 

“You kept those old things?” 

He hesitantly reached out for the white leather, time and use wearing them down to look much less like the fine things he purchased when he thought himself in love. Lydia smiled and held her hands out to admire them. Arthur was twenty-seven when he found the gloves and knew right away the woman warming his bed back at camp had to have them. A rose pattern etched across the backs made them unique, he had never seen anything like it. She squealed at the gift. But that hadn’t kept her from leaving the next week when the time came. 

Watching her now Arthur was reminded that Lydia’s hands were no longer soft and delicate. That the skin was probably hardened from years of gun fights and horse reins. He never forgot what they got up to when the roughest thing she touched was his bed sheets in the throes of something a bit more reckless. Those memories made him blush and he coughed to hide his deepening cheeks. 

“‘Course I kept them. One of my most prized possessions,” her words broke Arthur or his reprieve and brought him back to the present.

As Arthur opened his mouth a cough burned his throat, his question dying on his tongue as he hacked in pain. He turned in embarrassment and shame, the disease inside of him bursting at the surface no matter how hard he fought to keep it contained and in control. Lydia’s brow pulled together in concern but he waved her off with a gruff. 

“‘M fine,” Arthur wheezed. 

“You don’t sound it.” Her response was flat and sarcastic. “We should move somewhere else, there are too many eyes here.”

Together they made their way away from the midday crowd gathered for picnics and social gossiping in the town park and towards the outskirts of Saint Denis, passing the tailors before crossing the street and continuing on. Lydia was headed towards the garden house when Arthur grabbed her arm to stop, needing to lean against a fence for support as he began coughing again. 

“Arthur, have you seen a doctor?”

The words were meant innocently enough but they sent panic burning below Arthur’s skin. He gripped absentmindedly at his ribs, half wishing he could either rip out the infested organs pumping life into his failing body or that anyone listening would answer his prayer. He didn’t want to die. The thought terrified him. But even he knew his bed was made and it was time to lie in it. 

“I fell,” he spoke softly, guilt and pride not allowing his voice to carry far beyond his companion. “Down some street by the docks and a fella carried me to the doctor. Felt like a horse stepped on my chest.” For a moment the sunlight reflected off Lydia’s sweet brown eyes and her dark skin and Arthur was lost in the beauty that wasn’t tainted by his bad decisions. “He said it’s, uh, tuberculosis.” Lydia tried to control the sharp inhale to hide her emotions. “All those bad deeds finally caught up to me.”

“Arthur,” sympathy laced her words. “You know that ain’t fair. You put a lot of good out into this world.”

“Did I?” The laugh barely passed his lips. “The view from here is…”

Dismal. Petrifying. Bleak. 

“We all have a limited time on this earth. I know things have always felt a bit out of your control but what you did mattered.” Arthur snorted half-heartedly. “I know I can’t change your mind in one conversation. I won’t try. But please, know that you saved me. I am living proof that you did something good.”

“Ms. Jacobs, no offense but you’re hunting bounties for a living. That ain’t what I’d call -”

“I am happy, and that is what matters most. I owe that to you. Spent my whole life doing what I love and I don’t regret it for a second. Which does bring me to why I’m here,” Lydia laughed as she pulled a folded up paper out of her pocket. “I’m hunting a bounty who’s, well, you.”

Arthur took the poster and examined the drawing. “Could have made it something more flattering. Doesn’t even look like me.”

“Especially not now.” Lydia meant the words as a joke, but silently cursed as she froze.

Arthur Morgan spent most of his life running. After thirty-five years he was finally slowing down. The bags beneath his eyes were dark and his cheeks hollowed. He didn’t just look tired, he looked…

“Well,” Arthur sounded dejected. “At least I know you’ll use the money well.”

“I’m not bringing you in, cowboy. I just came to warn you.” His eyebrows raised at her words. “Not only do we have a history, Arthur, but now it’s not...I won’t put a sick man in jail.”

At least she didn’t dance around the subject. Arthur didn’t want to hide behind the fact that TB was a disease nearly no one survived. He knew the odds. Not only did the thought of ceasing to exist send terror through him but he worried about those he was leaving behind. 

Would John and Abigail ever have a home? Would Jack grow up like his father? Would Molly ever leave Dutch’s side?

His mentor and brother had been...different of late. Aggressive. Rash. Frightened. Arthur would never admit to anyone the flashes he saw in Dutch’s eyes when a decision came down to the wire but his heart recognized what it was. At first he ignored it. They were simply the emotions brought about by the decay of time and a friendship that passed every test they had hurled at them, nothing more. But more and more Arthur’s conscience would not allow the debate to happen; his words lashing out before he could think through the consequences of berating Dutch alone or in front of others and often had to hear how much he betrayed him by speaking up. 

Subconsciously Arthur pushed a thumb across his palm to distract himself from the tightening of his throat and the tension behind his eyes. In truth he was terrified. There was no use fighting, but that didn’t take away his instinct to try. 

“Not sick, Lydia. Dying.”

“How do you feel?”

Gently she took one of his hands in her own as they stood against the fence on the outskirts of the city. Life buzzed all around them; kids playing games, animals eating grass, adults doing chores. The mundane tasks made Arthur want to shake these people awake. Didn’t they know there was only so much time on this earth? Why were they wasting it hanging up clothes? That didn’t matter, none of it did. They should be running away, taking those they loved with them, and ensuring they prospered in happiness and love. Not money or things. 

“Doesn’t matter how I feel. Just have to keep...keep…” His words cut off with another cough. Lydia’s heart broke for the man she once loved and fought back tears of her own, the shuddering gasps of Arthur’s laboured breathing shattering the illusion she had built up from her memories. This man had no fight left in him. Not for himself. “I got people to take care of.” 

Lydia nodded sympathetically, watching his resolve harden. Arthur pulled his shoulders back and pushed off the fence to stand tall once again. 

“You’ll do it Arthur, I’m sure of it. They’ll be okay,” something caught Arthur’s eye over Lydia’s shoulder as she spoke and he tried to hide the flash of recognition on his face. “Someone you know?”

“Yeah, a friend. Lydia, I should…”

“Of course.” She glanced back to see a dark skinned man with two horses approaching. He wore a blue shirt and an apprehensive look. “Just know if you need me for anything Arthur, I’m only a letter away. If there’s anything I can do, anyone I can look after, if you need a place to run away to, please just…”

Her words trailed off with the realization this would be the last time she would see him in this life. Arthur was always a figure in the back of her mind who came to fruition every now and then. A reminder that the cards she was dealt didn’t have to be her only ones. And now, to know he was dying in such an awful way, it took everything she had not to break down into tears. 

“Sorry I couldn't help with that bounty, real shame he was gone before you got there.”

“Arthur,” she whispered.

But he waved a hand at her tone. “I’m nothing anymore. We both know I wouldn’t survive the way the world is going, seems I finally learned that myself. Just...promise me something, will you?” His blue eyes shimmered with life and Lydia found herself nodding right away, desperate to give this man’s last wish life. “Don’t, don’t waste what you have. People will try and tell you what they want from you, but it don’t matter. All of this is only worth it because you get to enjoy it for so long, so go out and do what matters and don’t listen to what other people want. In the end you’re the only one who shows up so just...do what matters to you. Whether it’s hunting bounties or taking care of someone or...I don’t know, picking berries or something. Leave your mark.”

Lydia couldn’t tell if it was the words of a wisened dying man or something she had been needing to hear but she felt changed. Her eyes followed as they rode away and off into the swamps, a silent goodbye with the tip of his hat the last sight of her friend. 

How could one interaction affect her so deeply? Did approaching death give him an insight to not only what brings true happiness but what was wasted time? Did he know she would be there that day?

One day, Lydia knew she would ask him. But for now she would take what he said to heart and try to live alongside the memory of someone history would forget.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Stark’s New Intern” Chp. 10

Summary:  Caught between two friends, Erik finds himself caught with a third...

NSFW. Mature Audience.

Me Can you focus on me? Baby, can you focus on me? Me, me Can you focus on me? Baby, can you focus on me?

H.E.R. - “Focus”

Erik sat between Giselle and Athena at the round booth table they were seated in at a seafood restaurant overlooking the Santa Monica shores. Tony ordered lobster platters and fresh New England chowder for their meal.

Tony got down to business talking about his expectations for New York and the women were focused on him instead of each other. After they finished the first course of clam chowder, Maria joined them and Erik gave a sigh of relief. Maria had a way of making people comfortable with her spastic energy.

Erik almost didn't recognize her when she swept in.

Dressed in a black tuxedo dress and midnight black boots, Maria looked beyond sophisticated. Even her hair was slicked back in a chic way, reminding him of when her tresses were wet in the pool when he kissed her…

For a second, Erik forgot about Giselle and Athena and even Tony, his eyes taking in Maria's visage. She looked good. Real good. Sitting next to Tony, Maria handed him an envelope and he tucked it inside his blazer pocket. A waiter brought over a tray of Oysters Rockefeller and while everyone dipped in to savor the goods, Maria finally looked at him, and her face looked stressed.

Tony allowed Erik to have a glass of white wine with everyone else and most of the talk was food and vineyards in Paris. Athena and Tony compared favorite wines, and Erik could tell that Giselle was stewing. So did Tony.

"So…you two know each other well?" Tony asked.

Athena took a sip of her wine and glanced at Giselle.

"From school," Athena said.

Her voice was cool.

Tony looked at Giselle who looked super annoyed.

"Frenemies," Tony said while pouring more wine for himself.

Maria watched the two women and then she glanced back at Erik. The mood was icy and not improving. Erik decided to change the topic.

"You look real fancy, Maria," he said.

Maria smiled at him.

"Maria is going to be giving a presentation this evening for the Los Angeles Asian American Business Alliance in a couple of hours. You all set?" Tony said.

"Yes," Maria said.

"Love that dress," Athena said.

"Thank you. It's a cocktail mixer and I'm going to talk about the internship and my experience with it so far," she said.

"You look lovely, Maria," Giselle said.

"Thanks."

"I'll be right back, restroom break." Erik said.

He stood up and moved past Athena. His bladder was calling.

"I'll go myself," Giselle said, following him to the back of the restaurant.

"Yo, what's the deal?" Erik asked.

Giselle stood near the ladies' room and her face looked cross.

"I fucking hate that bitch," she said.

"Why?"

"She and I used to be friends. Tight as hell back at Brown University. Before we graduated, I applied for and an overseas fellowship in Paris to study. Kicked my ass trying to get letters of recommendation and worked hard to get this thing. My mistake was telling Athena about it. She applied for it too. And she got it."

"Maybe she was a better candidate—"

"She called her father who pulled some favors. She didn't get it on merit. I know that for a fact. She just wanted to go to Paris and have that on her resume."

Giselle's eyes were in full kill mode.

"I hustled so hard. During my interview, I was told that I was a top candidate. She knew I wanted it, didn't even tell me she applied for it until after she was awarded the damn thing. She saw me putting in extra effort for a whole year…"

"Don't get bent out of shape over it now. That was the past. You're here with Tony—"

"That's just it, I know her ass didn't earn this spot like everyone else. I know her father is tight with Stark. I know it was just another quick phone call. Just like Wes, and all the other mediocre people who leapfrog over people more deserving."

"Don't let her steal your thunder in front of Tony. It makes you look bad. Do you really think she used her Dad to get her here? Tony doesn't seem like a dude who would go for that. You gotta have real game to get this internship."

"You know what sucks? She and I were like sisters. This cut me so deep, Erik."

"Y'all can't salvage your friendship?"

"Would you?"

Erik shrugged and dipped into the restroom. Giselle was still standing outside when he came out.

"Ready to go back?" he asked.

Tony was spinning a tale about New Zealand and Maria and Athena looked enraptured. Dinner seemed to get everyone back on track. Giselle ignored Athena for the most part and when the meal was over. Erik was asked to join Maria at her event.

"I'd like to attend," Athena said.

They all ended up going.

###

Maria did well.

More than well.

Erik didn't know if it was her clothes, the way Tony fawned over her in front of the event coordinators, or how Maria answered questions from the audience with sass and excited zeal. She was funny, endearing, and so fucking ready for any and all questions. Tony was asked to come up and say a few words, and the Asian audience ate up his words too. Later, as the mixer got into full swing, Maria stuck by his side. So many people came up to ask her more questions.

"Oh jeez," Maria said.

Two women and a man walked over to Maria.

"Maria, didn't recognize you for a second."

The name tag on the woman said, Yuna.

"Hi. Yeah, it's been a minute," Maria said.

Erik noticed Maria's countenance changed quickly. The confidence she had earlier was gone.

"Erik, this is Yuna, Paul, and Sooh-Ha."

They looked at Erik's clothes and his face and were about to brush him off when Tony sidled up.

"Maria, Erik, I'd like you to meet some people," he said.

Erik and Maria followed Tony, and Erik heard Yuna, Paul, and Sooh-Ha following them.

"Erik, Maria, this is Mr. Huang of TBS Corp. Mr. Huang, these are my two top interns…"

Tony bragged on them and Erik could see the others looking at him different. He wasn't just a random Black guy to ignore. He had some status. A bit of clout. Typical.

Erik and Maria showed off to Tony's delight, and Erik found his eyes wandering to Athena and Giselle who were talking amicably it looked on the other side of the room. He was curious to know what they were working out. Tony guided Mr. Huang to another group of business owners and Erik led Maria to the open bar. The clout chasers followed them.

"Maria, Joseph Kim is here," Yuna said. Her eyes sparkled when she said the name and Maria's lips went tight.

"Who is that?" Erik asked.

"Nobody," Maria said.

She picked up a glass of wine. Erik grabbed a coke.

"Your face says different," Erik said.

"Joseph!" Yuna called out.

A tall Korean man walked over carrying a plate of food. A smile spread on his lips when he saw Maria.

Maria tried to turn away from him, but she was stuck next to the bar table. She ended up bumping into Erik's side.

"Maria," Joseph said.

Erik recognized the look on Maria's face. He'd seen it himself on enough women he'd broken up with or dogged out. This dude had hurt her. And that pain was still there inside of her.

"Hi," Maria said.

Joseph's eyes looked her up and down.

"I didn't recognize you until you started speaking. Working for Stark must be amazing."

"Yeah, it is," she said.

Joseph glanced at Erik. They were the same height.

"How is your family?" Joseph asked.

"Everyone is great," she said.

Maria looked like a shrinking violet.

"Joseph and his wife just had a son," Sooh-Ha said. There was a smirk on her lips.

"Congratulations," Maria said.

Joseph beamed, and Erik wanted to punch him in his bland smug face.

"Since you work for Stark now, maybe you could put in a good word for me. I applied for a position in his San Francisco office," Joseph said.

The unmitigated gall. Erik felt his jaw clench.

"We better get back to Stark. He has some more people for us to talk to."

Erik held out his arm for her. Maria pushed back a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned into him.

"Nice seeing all of you again, but our boss calls."

"Good luck with that application," Maria said.

Erik steered her away from them and he felt Maria relax. They went to the other side of the room and stood near Tony as he spoke to a group of older women with a ton of questions and picture taking.

"Thank you," Maria said.

"I could tell they were bugging you. A nobody, huh?"

"Ex-boyfriend. He broke up with me to marry someone who was not Filipino and too Black for his family."

"Too Black?

"Yeah. My father."

"It was like that?"

"Yep."

Erik noticed Giselle stomping away from Athena.

"Excuse for a moment," he said.

Threading his way through the crowded mixer, Erik stepped to Athena who looked a bit shaken.

"Hey. Everything okay over here?" he asked.

"Never better," Athena said trying to brush him off.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really…"

Her eyes connected with his. She gave a sigh and leaned against the pillar she stood next to.

"I used to think Giselle and I would run the world together. She was the bestie that I dreamed of having. But now…she just thinks I steal things that don't belong to me like I don't work for stuff."

Athena's eyes flicked over his shoulder, he turned to see Giselle at the bar ordering a drink.

"She thinks I'm like these white boys out here. Always a phone call to Daddy to make things happen."

"Is it true?"

"Fuck no."

Erik felt his lips quirk when she cursed.

"I don't even like my father. We aren't even on speaking terms. Haven't been since I left Brown. She just…she makes wild accusations. Assumes too much."

"That's what y'all were going in about?"

"She doesn't think I belong here. But I do. I worked hard to get here and I worked for every fellowship I ever received."

"The one in Paris?"

Athena's eyes bored into his.

"She told you about that?"

"Said she told you about it and you stole it from her."

"I didn't steal it. She told me about the program and the company had twenty fellowships throughout France. The entire country. Twenty slots. I applied for the fellowship that matched my studies the same as her. I even turned in my application weeks after she did, almost missed the deadline waiting for a recommendation. I had to do six different interviews before I even got picked. In fact, I didn't even get picked until another candidate dropped out for a family matter."

"She says your father made a phone call on your behalf—"

"My father didn't even know I applied. I did it to get away from him and my family."

Athena's eyes were watery.

"I miss my friend…"

Athena wiped her eyes and Erik moved in to block her from spectators.

"Did you tell her all that?"

"Yeah. She doesn't believe me. Doesn't believe I earned my spot here. I told Tony not to even tell my father I'm here, let alone applied for a spot. She's just so damn angry and not trying to listen to me. I have never lied to her. I have never tried to sabotage her aspirations. I was always her biggest cheerleader. Been there for her through her darkest times…even when she had a—"

Athena pulled away from the pillar.

"Shit. I've been drinking too much. Talking too much…"

She glanced at her watch.

"How long is this thing? I'm ready to go."

"I can take you home."

"On a motorcycle?"

"Lyft."

Erik pulled out his cell and texted Tony.

"I let Stark know I'm escorting you back."

"Escorting me?"

"Looks like you need a friend to do that."

Her eyes dropped from his.

"I don't have very many friends, Erik."

"Let's bounce."

###

Erik ended up taking the vibranium with him to New York. It got through customs without alerting the metal detector.

He flew first class with Maria, Athena, and Giselle, along with five other interns hand-picked by Tony to attend the event. Their hotel was V.I.P. status all the way and their first night in New York was spent finding a club that Erik could sneak into. They ended up staying at the hotel bar lounge where the waiters assumed Erik was of age like the others.

Athena and Giselle were on their best behavior. Erik tried to get Giselle to talk to Athena, but that was tossed aside. Erik knew it was a misunderstanding. He believed Athena. But Giselle needed to have a villain to blame for something she wanted badly. He tried pushing up on Giselle, tried to get her to loosen up while they were away from the office, but she curved him.

Maria took a liking to an intern who seemed genuinely intrigued by her. Erik played the overprotective older brother and mean-mugged the white boy as much as possible to keep him on the straight and narrow. He seemed to get the hint and treated Maria well.

"What are you daydreaming about?"

Athena caught him sitting in the hotel gym, the stationary bike he was on far from spinning wheels.

"Tony has me hosting the children's day opener. I was just thinking about how I was when I was that age. I had this robot I entered when I was like nine, and I got pretty far. I was thinking about what I would've wanted to hear from somebody working for Stark back then."

"That's so cute. A robot."

"Got a certificate and everything."

"Did you come to the convention?"

"Nah. My family had to deal with some stuff so I wasn't able to go."

He watched Athena step onto a Stairmaster and start a program. Her gym clothes were form-fitting and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her curves and the deep cleavage in her work-out tank. The girl was bad, no lie. He started cycling and looking down at the mileage he was putting up.

"You had a chance to talk to Giselle?"

"Nope. She's still ignoring me."

"Same."

"You two…?"

"Was trying."

Athena smiled.

"What's that smile for?"

"She keeps her eyes on you."

"I'm tryna get more than that."

"Alright now."

Athena laughed and it made Erik smile.

"Them dimples are deadly. You'll wear her down soon enough."

"It's been almost three months. This gig is about to end and she ain't budged. Not happening."

"Perhaps if she weren't messing with Cameron she'd be all over you."

"That buster."

Erik rolled his eyes.

"He's cute. Has a lot of personality."

"And I don't?"

"Yours is more volatile. A little rough around the edges. That's not her style."

"I think it is. She got a little taste."

"Ooh…a little taste?"

"I mean…she knows what I'm working with and she seemed to like it."

"You slept together?"

"Nah…just a little touch and feel—"

"Okay…stop. This is none of my business. I'm sorry I started the convo."

"No you not."

He stepped off the bike once he hit his target. He joined her on the Stairmaster next to her for his cool down.

"I can't figure her out. She's hot and cold with me."

"Maybe take that as a hint. Find someone else."

"Would you go out with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Too young."

"That's a cop-out and you know it. Y'all keep settling for weak dick then—"

Athena burst out laughing.

"You laugh, but when you ready for that deep dick, you come holla at me."

He stepped off the machine a walked out of the gym.

Athena was still laughing.

###

Erik was drinking bottled water when he heard Maria fumbling with her key card trying to get into her room. He stuck his head out to tease her for being drunk when she couldn't open her door.

"You know it's bad when you can't get into your own room with a card—"

Her eyes were red and her face was streaked with fresh tears.

"What happened?"

Her hands dropped to her sides and Erik ushered her into his room and sat her on his bed.

"Maria?"

"Kevin—"

"He hurt you?"

"No…I…we…"

Her voice shuddered.

"Take your time."

She nodded at him.

He poured her a glass of water from a fresh bottle in his mini-fridge and she drank it down. She smoothed her dress and pushed her hair back from her forehead.

"I thought it was the right time for Kevin and I. We've been seeing each other for the last month and…I guess…I wanted to and…"

"And?"

Erik felt his stomach tighten. He was ready to fight.

"We had sex, and it wasn't good. It wasn't what I thought it would be."

"So it was consensual?"

Erik felt himself relax a bit. He unclenched his fists.

"Yes…oh God, yes…I don't want you to think I was forced. I wanted to do it."

She wiped her eyes.

He wanted to know why she was crying so hard about it.

"You have regrets?"

"I should've waited. I like Kevin well enough. It felt right at first. But it was missing something. Thank God it didn't last that long. I left the moment it was over even though he wanted me to stay the night."

A knock on his hotel room door interrupted them. He answered.

"Hey, we still on for dinner?"

Athena was dressed and ready to head to the hotel restaurant. She wore a snazzy black blouse and skirt. Dinner and then some clubbing afterward.

"Yeah…about that, Maria is having a moment and I'm—"

"Hey, Athena!"

Erik opened the door wider so Maria could see Athena.

"Hey, Maria. What's going on?"

Erik let Athena in. It would be best to let another woman handle the situation.

Maria looked at Erik. Then she looked at Athena.

"Maria…why don't you go take a shower and change and come with us to eat—"

"How did your date go with Kevin?"

Athena had a look on her face that let Erik know that she knew the extent of Maria's date night plan.

"Not so good," Maria said.

"Oh, honey…"

Erik opened Maria's conjoining door.

"Go get dressed. We'll talk at dinner," Erik said.

"I'll wait for you two downstairs. I want to keep the reservation," Athena said.

"I won't take long," Maria said.

Athena left and Erik put on his shoes and some brand new cologne.

A soft knock on his inner door let him know Maria was ready. She walked in looking cute and bubbly again in a slinky green dress.

"Ready to go downstairs?"

"Yes."

He turned to go open the main door and Maria hugged him tight around the waist.

"What's this for?"

"Listening to me. Not being grossed out by me talking about it. Not judging me."

"Sex is always different with different people. It's not easy the first time."

"Was it for you?"

"Hell yeah."

Maria rolled her eyes.

"What I mean is, I wanted to do it and I was ready to do it with whoever. But I was hella young. Fifteen. I was just all poke and stroke. I wasn't thinking about my feelings afterward. I was thinking about getting better at it with the next girl. I didn't know any better."

"I'm sure you were better than Kevin. He had his eyes closed the whole time, and it was like I wasn't even there. It was like he was screwing a sex doll."

"How are you feeling physically?"

"Okay. It didn't really hurt. But it seemed so fast. Is it always fast like that?"

"Um….nah, it depends. On who you're with and where you are—"

"I thought there would be more kissing. He kissed very little—"

"We should probably leave."

His hands stroked her shoulders and she placed her head against his chest.

"I'm glad you were here so I could vent."

"Me too."

He pushed back from her gently and when her eyes looked up at him, he felt a little funny.

Funny enough to lower his head and kiss her on the lips.

But not the way a friend would.

###

Chapter 11 Here

Tag List:

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@allhailqueennel @bartierbakarimobisson @cpwtwot @shookmcgookqueen @yoyolovesbucky

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@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @bugngiz @stariamrry  @honeytoffee @meilintheempressofdreams

@tyees @eye-raq @writerbee-ffs

[thefigureinthecorner]

i made a joan/owen playlist woooo

first image is a softer world edit that i made right after tama but never posted; second is the playlist cover that i used the last panel for

playlist notes under the cut ✌️

general note: it’s mostly owen being sad whoops, i made a lot of this with the conversations from tama in mind

also i have a playlist masterpost and i definitely wrote notes for this playlist there but i’ve also added a lot since and idk how i feel about those notes anymore so i’m just. rewriting everything

share your address- ben platt: i think there was a patron stream that made me put this on here but i definitely feel like he’s someone who loves, like, the little things about being in a relationship. no big, grand plans or whatever, just being able to make someone breakfast and share a space with them and understand them

the bird and the worm- owl city: so there are some lyrics in this song that fit in a really terrible way and we’re not gonna get into those here but if you know, you know. aside from that though this is one of the softer songs on the playlist and it’s there for p similar reasons to the previous one, with some added fun fish puns

atlantis- seafret: Maybe I'm not built for love/If I knew that I could reach you I would go/It's in my heart, it's in my head/You can't take back the things you said

better with you- jason mraz: owen’s a better person with joan around. that’s why he asked her to come back to the am in the first place; he didn’t trust himself, not alone. also: I'm better because you give meaning to the words "I love you" is such a soft line

flaws- bastille: You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve/And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground/Dig them up; let's finish what we've started

this could fit a lot of tbs ships honestly but to me it feels most like a joan/owen song? so it’s here

white blank page- mumford and sons: Oh tell me now, where was my fault/In loving you with my whole heart/Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life

quiet light- the national: the whole thing gives me owen vibes directly post-breakup i think. like, i may not know how he reacted to it, but i do know he loves joan a lot and... yeah.

title and registration- death cab for cutie: There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade/And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all/And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide/Lying awake at night

better- ben platt: the whole song. it’s just the whole song. i can’t quote just one or two lines because it’s the whole. damn. song.

two- sleeping at last: this song makes me sad when i think about them honestly, it’s like. despite the fact that he knows joan will probably never love him again he still loves her and he’s not going to let that love go. he just loves her for the sake of loving her, knowing that’s not going to be returned.

also the last two lines of the section i shared make me sad for uh. Different Reasons. tama reasons.

Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you with every single thing I have Like a tidal wave I'll make a mess Or calm waters if that serves you best I will love you without any strings attached It's okay if you can't catch your breath You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest

reminder- mumford and sons: again, the whole song, and actually like all but two or three songs on this album fit the two of them really really well so choosing only two songs off that album was difficult

you can do better than me- death cab for cutie: this one definitely reminds me of the conversation sam and owen had in am archives 13; There's times I think of leaving/But it's something I'll never do/'Cause you can do better than me/But I can't do better than you

tompkins square park- mumford and sons: somehow i forgot to list this song on this post but it’s just. so good for them

I only ever told you one lie When it could have been a thousand It might as well have been a thousand

But no flame burns forever, oh no You and I both know this all too well And most don't even last the night

in between- linkin park: there’s a lot about this song that works, especially from owen’s perspective i think, but the part that i love a lot is: Fear is not afraid of you/But guilt's a language you can understand/I cannot explain to you in anything I say or do/I hope the actions speak the words they can

over you- ingrid michaelson ft. a great big world: p much the only duet song in the entire playlist, and the fun and cool and not at all painful part about it is, it works as a pre-canon owen or a post-tama joan song!!

it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday- jason mraz: again: pre-canon owen or post-tama joan, and it’s on my tama playlist as well as this one for a reason; I don't know where this road/Is going to lead/All I know is where we've been/And what we've been through/And if we get to see tomorrow/I hope it's worth all the wait/It's hard to say goodbye to yesterday

i don’t wanna love somebody else- a great big world: again, another song that reminds me of the sam and owen conversation in tama 13; Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping/Oh, that you will change your mind/And one day we could start again/Well I don't care if loneliness kills me/I don't wanna love somebody else

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#1)

Right, monkey brain said no sleep no rest, only suffering at the hands of med.

I am going to start with the first episode of S2: Soul Care. Reasoning? I need to check if Latham references Ava in his first interaction with Connor.

If my memory serves me right, when Connor is passed over to Latham for his fellowship, Latham says that he was not his first choice. In fact, his first choice was a brilliant surgeon from South Africa. In the first episode of S2, a season where Ava Bekker is only introduced with one line at the end of the last episode.

If I remember correctly and Latham does actually say that in the first ep of s2, it will be huge for the continuity (and my theory that I came up with today, if you’re interested in following this you should really read that really long post that came a little before this where the basis of the theory is laid out). 

Also in rewatching this I see more of Sarah which, again, I have not seen in two years, and she was the reason I became invested in the show, and the reason I stopped watching after she left.

And all of this even before I start the episode.

There are so many emotions and thoughts running through my brain it literally hurts. I think i’m getting a headache. I’m already really regretting this, this cannot be healthy for me.

(btw, this will basically be a train of thought type thing, I’ll do my best to keep it coherent)

- omg its starting

- i completely forgot how s1 ended but its not importnat in anyway

- just, why are they in a helicopter

- how fast does the episode move ive forgotten and i need to know

-JESUS CHRIST SO DRAMATIC

- THE BEGINNING WITH WILL WHY

- it is at this point where I apologize to all those who made it this far bc we’re literally not even 30 seconds in yet

- i just have a lot of med thoughts

- oh god save me

- i am laughing hysterically

- JESUS CHRIST THE APRIL TB STORYLINE AND TATE WTF

- god that feels like a lifetime ago it was relevant holyshit

-remember when she was pregnant?

- literally what have I missed

- side note, i really like the cup april drinks out of.

-THERE SHE IS

-SARAH

-SHE’S HERE

-and she’s a barista

-literally wtf is this show

-and the dramatic music is still going literally chill man god

-THE WAY SARAH SMILES HOLY SHITTTT come on man there was literally no way i’d survive this but fuck not even a minute in...

- okay but i never understood charles’ family scenario but this is already too fucking long for a minute in so i hope we can just skip past that

-hahahah sharon’s fucking divorce? holy shit, this is too dramatic for the first ep literally save me (at least she acts well)

-yeah the one thing I will say about med (thats a lie ive already said a hundred but yk) is that for the crap storylines and all, the actors take what they’re given and give it their all and i appreciate it so much

-the helicopter’s number is N365UCC and just... succ

-ethans bird (!)

-also the fact that’s so big for ethan to be chief resident is so weird to me. like the last medical drama I watched was greys and they are all like grizzled veterans and have been doing that stuff for actual decades and i tend to put med and greys on like the same level bc they are the only medical dramas ive watched but.. holy crap the people on med are so young?? half their main cast is med students and residents. when nearly every main character on greys is a department head. its wild.

-proud of ethan. proud of my boy (did you know that adam jacobs who played aladdin on broadway was in a s3 episode? fun facts) (fun fact: did you know that ava is the only main character on the show who’s status is now deceased? I’ll shut up now.)

-oh my god i say roland buck III’s name and GOD noah jesus

- i find noah incredibly annoying, especially bc he tries to overshadow reese (my fav) but also just bc hes spoiled [that thing that said that one of the biggest mistakes med made was not having sarah get the emergency med residency at the end of s1 comes to mine, and the fact that noah got his residency easy peasy] - but, i will say that the moment at the end of this season where noah and reese dance together at the party is very adorable. (pre reesker brain showing lmao I really did love sarah with my whole heart) (moreover my snapchat memories were filled with just recordings of reese scenes lmaooooo)

-okay at this point I need to stop once i get to the potential ava thing bc what is happening we’re not even two minutes in why is this so long. (so many thoughts)

- i find will annoying but,,, he is kind of nice to look at. and what i mean is like facial acting (i am a lesbian). like. just. don’t speak. and when he’s being a good character he’s fine. it’s very few and very far between ig

-natalie annoys me so much and shes only had one line, and it wasn’t even a character line, it was mainly exposition.

-EW

-FUCKING EW

-ITS CONNOR HE’S HERE. god i forgot what he looked like in red scrubs and his poofy hair. child compared to s3 and s4. hopefully we see latham soon so we all don’t have to suffer through this. and he looks so angsty. he definetly glowed up in the later seasons.

- i have no clue how to spell definetly. I am guessing literally everytime.

-latham please come and end this all.

-oh haha there’s downey hes dead.

-okay so i actually watched s1 after i watched s2 which is so weird to think about. like that means that i liked s2 so much that i BOUGHT THE DVD FOR S1. yeah. I liked it that much (it really only means I was that much of a simp for sarah). but it also means that technically i watched s1 after i met ava?? like i honestly had NO CLUE what was in my future. did young me ever think she was going to stay up late at night, avoiding history hw while analyzing a defunct character from this show on a whim? a character i was super annoyed with at the beginning? who has no become a huge part of my personality? honestly? no. no she did not.

-and the story with downey was so jarring. and the story with zanetti. like i think i first started watching with the first ep of s2 (the one im talking about rn) and i was a bit lost. so going back and watch s1 to like connect the dots. but i never expected the dots to look like that. its like each season of this show is a completely different show from all the other seasons. like i’ve said before, this show is a headache. but literally latham please come and end this for now.

-GOD CONNOR LOOKS SO YOUNG WHAT THE HELL thats so weird lmaooooo

- like i had absolutely no clue who downey was going into this. and they they started talking like ‘oh yeah he killed his attending’ and i was just like ‘damn bro ill cheers to that’

- that’s literally ava’s first line actually. “i heard your girlfriend went insane and you murdered your attending.” - which was why she was hated at first. that was literally her first line to connor which is like, so hilariously rude that it was instantly iconic.

-also HAHAHAHAH CUE FUCKING ANGST ABOUT CONNOR HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WTF BRO THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE

- but i’m also sad now. --- “I heard your girlfriend went insane.” Oh. Oh, sweetie. Ava... No. --- but why does s2 ava (all two lines) foreshadow s4 ava in so many ways. like literally what were the writers on.

-baghdad.

-ah yes. the return of baghdad. been a long time since i heard that one, but it is easily one of my favorite running things about med. its just a little detail but the nick name is like perfect. (when i read fanfic where the chars are actually doing doctor stuff in the hospital it makes me light up) the WORLD BUILDINGGGGG. but whatever

-this is the girl who has the fake baby right? that was a really good ep (bc sarah content. can you see my favorites? for the same reason the one where the girl has split personalities easily ranks high with me.) oh wait this is the one where the dad like dies but then comes back for a split second to see his grand child. there’s not really a lot I can say about that, but the fact that i remember it vividly is... weird.

-okay but I actually love the ED in this show. I love how the show is centered around the ED and not the OR like greys. its fast paced, you see a lot about the characters really quickly (one of the reason’s connor’s intro to the hospital in the pilot is certified iconic in my mind [his interactions with will are gold]). the team works well together (usually, when things are good. - which is another reason I hated the show more as time went on. The personal lives interfered more and more and more with their work as time went on. it got so annoying). but like right here will just calls maggies name and maggie is just On It. I love it. I love the fast pace. it’s why this show got me to come back. so many things happen, it overloads my brain, like the way a video game works y occupying all of your attention.

-when is the dad gonna pass out i’m just waiting

-AHAHAHAHAHA JEFF NOOOOO. what even was the deal with jeff that storyline annoyed me so much I never got it. he was friends with nat’s husband (who died) and they were both named Jeff? and she actually ended up getting with Jeff a few times?

- the more you watch med and see how the characters get with each other, the more jaded you become

-omg they’re transferring the girl to the bed i love it when they count

-maggie was great but from what i heard/read they ruined her character too??? just not the same

-lmao only real g’s remember the chicago fire backdoor med pilot (if you want an explanation ask me lmao it was a ride)

- i was a real med simp bc I bought that episode on apple video.

-ahahaha this is so stupid. Jeff tries to do things and Will (being a fucking asshole and jealous, doesnt’ let him). he’s a med student let him fucking learn. also i remember why i hated will

-okay but if you look at greys vs. med, greys literally gives their med students no rights. scratch that. they give they’re interns little to no rights. (i only watched the last three seasons bc lesbian, but in those seasons they introduce the bottom of the totem pole, the sub I’s, who are a step ahead of med students, yet they are jokes on the show.) its just a weird juxtaposition is all.

-”lungs are wet.” dramatic music intensifies.

-OKAY BUT I LITERALLY FORGOT NATALIE SPECIALIZED IN PEDS. LIKE I COMPLETELY 100% FORGOT. HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY i can’t believe in my mass hyperfixation i forgot, just more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything.

-why did will make nat do that call? also idk why but is it weird to anyone else when the characters call each other but just.. their names.

-ahahahah i laugh literally everytime i remember that will is supposed to be in charge like he is threatened by anything that MOVES. (also more juxtapositon to greys bc here the attendings are treated as a joke!)

- hly shit i just remember monday mourning and god damn the angst literally never takes a day off but whatever.

- i dont usually get like this but the dad’s acting here is actually making me sad lol. Usually i get annoyed when family members get emotional (im weird uhhhh)

-why did we have to watch the tube being put in for so long - med is so dramatic this fucking show whyyyy

- i bet u the dad is gonna pass out

-oh ig not oops

-OKAY FUCK ME THAT LITERALLY ONLY TOOK US TO THE TITLES HOW DO I HAVE THESE MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS.

-wait latham introduction we may just be able to call it here.

-haha i fucking hate him (connor). he just... comes off so fake-charming its annoying. i cant get over it lmao

-okay but literally every gives connor shit and I am here for it. Latham: “did you kill him?”

- it is literally so funny but annoy how connor throws hands with literally everyone in his path (like dude just chill come onnn)

-okay. okay. okay. finally the part i was waiting for.

- Latham: I preferred a young woman from Groote Schuur, but I was outvoted.

That’s an actual quote, from Latham. For those who are wondering, Groote Schuur is a famous hospital in, you guessed it, South Africa. This is where I’m calling the episode. This is all I needed.

I just want to restate. This is the first episode of season 2. Ava Bekker is introduced to the show in the last episode of season 2. What does this mean, my friends? It means everything.

For those of you who stuck through to the end, I am very thankful. Here we have probably the first piece of evidence to my theory, at least chronologically.

I, personally, think it’s absurd I remembered this point, but I did. That point, that line, presently, watching this episode with no idea of what the future holds, is only there to tell us that Latham and Connor are not going to agree. But this is the single greatest piece of foreshadowing med has ever done.

Med has never planned anything. I feel confident when I say that. Look at their storylines. They are literally on fire, and every decision the characters make reads like the writers going ‘we have no idea how we made it this far, we thought we would get stopped like ten steps ago.’

When has med ever planned things more than a few episodes in advanced, honestly? Almost never, and going a full season sitting on a plot point, that’s major. This was the first time med has ever planned something miles in advance.

In all honestly, yes I am probably giving the med writers a lot more credit than they deserve. It’s quite possible that as the season progressed they just decided connor needed a new love interest or at least a new dynamic, so they could have just easily looked back and thought ‘oh, hey, here’s a fun little thing we said earlier in the season, wouldn’t it be fun if it paid off?’ That could be true.

Here’s why it probably isn’t. The med writers have no respect for their own continuity. you really think that, in order to come up with a whole new character, they went back to the first episode of the season and paid off a line that is said in less than 2 seconds? no way. Bull. Shit.

honestly, it is probably equally unlikely that either of these things happened. The med writers don’t look back at their story. It’s true, but they also don’t plan things in advance either.

here’s the thing, the more i write, the more absurd it starts to sound. Yeah. Sure. the med writers sat on a character for an entire season, that’s totally a thing that happened and not sarcasm. When pigs fly. everyone knows med is impulsive and messy. But what I am saying is that they planned one thing. One thing.

Ava has an accent. That was a commitment. A pretty uncommon one too. South Africa is such an out of the box choice that god its barely on the map. It asks a lot of someone to act hard while also doing an uncommon accent. If the med writers just decided they needed to give connor a new dynamic, they could have made it a n y o n e. Yeah, sure it would have been nice to have the latham dynamic with the new character, but it would have been so much easier to just create a new character that doesn’t have such a commitment. We all know people who play opposite of Connor Rhodes do not stay around that long.

There is absolutely no reason Connor’s s3 love interest had to be the girl from South Africa. It could have literally been anyone. They could have kept Robin on. They could have made the new character not have so many specific requirements.

At this point, I’m pushing this really hard. Yeah, obviously Ava was planned from the beginning of s2. She had to be. It’s way too specific to be anything else.

What I’m pointing out here is med has never done that before. (at least to my knowledge, if i’m wrong please tell me i don’t want to be a fool) They have never had such a concrete plan for a character, so much as to tease them a full season before they were introduced.

I’m saying, that Ava was special. She was the only character who was teased ahead of her arrival. The one who they knew they wanted, other than the originals, and honestly saying the ‘knew what they wanted to do with the originals’ is being generous. But Ava was different. They had big plans for Ava.

It’s undeniable. Ava was the only character who was planned and teased ahead of her arrival. Ava has such a different style and character than anyone else on the show. She was always planned to be, even when she was just being teased, a rival to connor, meaning she could stand her own against him (or without him).

Now of course, the med writers forgot this when writing s4 and s5. But for the purposes of the important things, all that really matters are the two mentions in s2, and what happens in s3. (for the theory at least).

In conclusion: think about how odd it is that Ava was the only character that was planned over the course of the show. Like sure the characters are planned, but never this far in advance. Med writers don’t really plan anything. I would be shocked if they did anything but through a dart at a spinning wheel. But they had plans for Ava, and they had plans for s3, when she was good.

Think about how odd it is that the med writers had a character planned from the start of s2, that they sat on for a whole season. They never, ever did something so slow and deliberate. Never. It goes against their formula. Like a fucking shark, they have to be moving or they die, at least in their heads. But Ava was always a change to the formula. They had a plan for s3.

that’s it for now. we will see what happens when i watch the last episode of s2.

read the next parts:

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[mileycyprus-hill]

The Little Things

A RDR2 imagine with Arthur x gender neutral reader

It was supposed to be a short fluffy imagine, buuuuut once I started I couldn’t stop. TB? Nah, just misdiagnosed pneumonia that nearly kills our poor Arthur. Or chronic bronchitis, who the hell knows in those days, he just needs to quit smoking.

Warnings: violence; so much fluff you could choke on it

It’s 1903. It’s been four years since the gang split up and you rescued Arthur from that rat Micah. He was covered in knife wounds and barely clinging to life. Micah was ready to stab Arthur in the back as he crawled. But you were quicker. You ran into Micah’s back, knife in hand, with all of your might and stabbed him in his right lung. You didn’t even see Dutch leaving the three of you to die near the cave. 

Luckily, you had the strength to carry Arthur to your horse and take him to the Wapiti Reservation. It was an extremely lengthy and challenging recovery for Arthur. There were nights you laid next to him and worried he wouldn’t wake up the next morning. It seemed that one day he’d improve, but the next he’d be in a feverish sweat and unresponsive.

But that was long ago now. While he’ll never fully recover his strength, the important thing is he’s alive. And with you.

You stayed with the tribe for seven months while Arthur recovered. The pair of you then wandered the country for a while before deciding to move to Canada, inspired by Charles’ idea. Charles promised Arthur that he would spread the news that he died there at Beaver Hollow. So the two of you could start a new life, with new identities.

You both came across an abandoned cabin deep in the woods. It needed work, but it was a cute little cabin with a small barn nearby. Perfect for the two of you.

You encourage him to let you carry the brunt of the house work. He wants to be useful and help, as being the work horse is the only life he’s ever known. However, you do your best to remind him that he’s not the young man he once was. You’d rather not see him collapse like he did when he overworked himself trying to patch the leaky roof on your humble home. You refresh his memory of how upset you were when you sprinted to his side while he laid on the ground unconscious.

Arthur is now nearing his 40th birthday, and he decides he wants to go hunting.

Well, he decided to, but it took days of relentless begging on his part to persuade you to let him go. You were ready to put your foot down until he made a good point on how you’ve been babying him for the past couple years you’ve owned this house together.

To be honest, he was right. You felt guilty, but you implored you had a good reason to coddle him. You nearly lost him once, you didn’t want to risk losing him again. 

So off he went early one morning before dawn. You barely felt him rise out of bed. You woke when he kissed you goodbye. You couldn’t help but sleepily mumble to him, “Be safe out there.”

A few hours go by as the sun slowly rises. You decide the cabin needs some deep cleaning.

Throughout the day, you scrub and repair nearly every corner of the house. You’re nearly finished in the bedroom when you walk over to Arthur’s side of the bed.

As you walk over to his nightstand to put something away, you step on a loose floorboard. You feel it shift oddly under your weight with a loud squeak.

That’s odd. Never noticed that before.

You kneel down and inspect the loose floorboard. It looks like someone used it as a floor safe, as you notice the scratch marks on one end where the person most likely used a knife to raise it up.

You go to the kitchen to grab a knife. Your heartbeat quickens at this discovery. Could there be valuables left by the previous owner? Jewelry? Perhaps even gold?

You finally wiggle the knife in the board enough to pop it up. You reach down into the small space and discover a cigar box.

As you open it, you gasp in surprise.

What you find is of no monetary value. But it’s still a treasure to you.

They’re letters. And cards. And small trinkets. All given to Arthur from you.

He kept every single one from the day he met you.

Even little notes you once left at his bedside telling him you were out on a job. They didn’t mean much to you, but they meant a lot to Arthur.

As you sort through the box, you read each one.

Arthur,

Out with Mary-Beth in Rhodes to get supplies. Bill is escorting us.

See you soon.

-Y/N ❤️

-----------------

Arthur,

I noticed you got into a bit of a brawl with a local. So I picked up some salve for you. Be sure to use it on those cuts.

-Y/N :)

----------------

You come across a valentine card. It’s actually the first one you gave him. You were just friends at that point, but you wanted him to know how much you admired him. You were still too shy and decided to sign it anonymously and leave it at his tent while he was gone.

On the front of the card was a faded drawing of a cherub with a bow and arrow, surrounded by red roses and blue birds.

On the inside, you had tried your best to write in your prettiest handwriting:

Happy Valentine’s Day!

You are sweeter than sugar. You bring the sunshine on a rainy day. Your laugh makes my heart skip rope. Your eyes make the sea green with envy at their beauty. Don’t forget that you are loved.

Yours truly,

A secret admirer

You chuckle at the memory. You forgot about that sappy love card. You were never a good poet. While a part of you wanted him to know it was you at the time, you were still nervous and embarrassed. You remember cursing yourself for listening to Mary-Beth. She was the one who came up with the idea.

Looking back at it now, you’re glad you listened to her.

You remember the note you received the next day in reply,

Y/N,

Thank you for the card. Didn’t think I’d recognize your handwriting? Though I hope I’m right. If you’d like to, meet me under the big birch tree where we target practice.

If not, I understand.

- A.M.

You suddenly feel a tear roll down your cheek at the memory. You never thought he kept all of these notes and letters from you. You were delighted knowing that you hold such a special place in his heart. 

As you continue reading them, you don’t hear the front door open, or the quiet footsteps behind you.

“Y/N?”

You nearly jump off the floor and give a quick yelp. You turn around to see Arthur standing behind you. Confusion covering his face, until he sees the letters you have clutched to your chest.

You see him staring at you. You stammer nervously, “I- I’m sorry. I-I-I didn’t mean to snoop around your uh, things. It’s just that uh...I noticed the uh, floorboard here a-and...”

Arthur smiles at your awkwardness. He steps forward with his right hand out to you, tinged red in blood and dirt caked under his fingernails. He gently grasps at your shoulders.

“I guess you had to find out sooner or later,” Arthur says with a shrug.

“I know it’s silly,” he mumbles. “But I couldn’t throw ‘em away.”

You grip the letters even tighter against your chest. You can’t help but smile at how sheepish he’s acting right now. 

Big, tough guy Arthur Morgan is blushing. 

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, “I liked keepin’ ‘em and readin’ ‘em whenever I needed to. I’d keep a few in my saddlebags and read ‘em whenever I was gone. Made it feel like you was there next to me.”

Arthur continues, “After that whole mess back at Beaver Hollow, I was worried I lost ‘em. So, I asked Charles to look for ‘em for me when we was with the Wapitis.”

As he continues explaining, he slowly plucks one of the notes from your grip.

“I’m glad I put ‘em in a lock box, cause when Charles found it, it was all burnt up.” he chuckles while looking at the note in his hand. “Luckily, these were safe.” 

“Arthur,” you finally say. He raises his head to look at you with those beautiful eyes of his. 

“This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.” Your blink as tears escape your eyes. “I’m glad you kept them.”

You open one arm up and embrace Arthur in a tight hug, kissing his cheek. You take a small step back to break the hug until Arthur pulls you back. He wraps both his arms around you and nearly squeezes the breath out of you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. The papers crinkle in the tight embrace. 

“I love you so much,” he says.

“I love you too,” you reply. 

Together, you put the letters back in the box and under the floorboard. 

You then cook a wonderful stew with the venison he had gotten that morning. 

Later in the evening, you treat Arthur to a bath. While massaging his head, you ask Arthur what he’d like for his birthday.

“Just you,” he says, leaning his head back to look up at you.

You smile and brush your lips against his. He parts his soft lips as you continue to kiss him. He slips his tongue gently into your mouth, tapping the tip of your tongue with his. 

The two of you proceed to make love three times that night. 

[zalrb]

Emma’s acting in B&tB seemed pretty bad tho? and they added all those seemingly ~feminist~ elements too. Granted, the changes they made in that movie seem more natural than whatever jasmine’s new SLs were. So you might be onto something.

Emma's acting certainly wasn't the greatest and the movie was overly long, it did not need to be 2 hours. I don't think it was a good movie or anything but I did find it a more organic adaptation than Aladdin so I'm giving it a bit more credit after seeing what I just saw. I also understood why certain things were updated in Beauty and the Beast considering the ongoing debate about that love story so I get why the Beast wasn't nearly as temperamental as the original Beast, I understand having Belle teach other girls to read because it's a natural step forward from the original character, I understand the expansion of the prologue and why it wasn't just a little boy refused to let a strange old lady into his castle and the added line of everyone forgot about them because magic since ppl were like so there was just royalty in provincial France and no one remembered? I did think that spending as much time as they did on added details took away from the time Belle and the Beast actually spend together though so their actual love story seemed shrunken? Also at first I thought they watered down Gaston but then they made him a different kind of villain and I just preferred ridiculous machismo bravado Gaston? I did like the expanded focus on the castle, they really humanized Lumiere and the others although I preferred original Cogsworth. Did not care for Beast's daddy issues, predictable addition and I didn't see how Belle's backstory on her mother added anything.

[broadwaycantdie]

Newsies at Prom

a/n: my school just had our prom so i’m inspired

warnings: none / long headcanons

pls click at least some of the links, i spent a lot of time thinking of each persons exact outfit

——————————————————————————

pre-prom:

the outfits were...

albert, elmer, finch, hotshot, ike, jack, mike, mush, sniper, spot, tommy boy in black suits

henry, katherine, kenny, kid blink in white suits

bill, buttons, crutchie, darcy, davey, jojo, race, romeo, specs in colored / patterned suits

and sarah, smalls in dresses

hotshot and spot decide to go to their boyfriend’s prom instead of their own (which was the same night) since they were closer with more of the newsies and it’d be more comfortable for everyone else

the boys all got each other boutonnières and the girls got each other corsages

except for race who wanted a corsage cause he “liked the compliment of the corsage to spot’s boutonnière”

he also wanted to take one of these pictures

davey and jack collectively bought all the single people in their friend group some as well so they didn’t feel left out

they all met up at central park and got pictures done together for like 2 hours cause there’s just so many of them

they all went to dinner right after pictures and had to put together a whole bunch of tables just to fit everyone

they also showed up about 25 minutes late cause pictures and dinner took longer than they thought

at prom:

the venue was a gorgeous country club with fountains and hedge sculptures and so much room to move and roam around, along with marble white indoor and gazebo areas for sitting and eating with a photobooth, twinkle lights all around—light enough to see but dark enough to be fun—a huge dj station, a buffet line of food and drinks, a balcony area to look down on the dance floor, and so many beautiful views

mike had to sneak in hotshot cause he forgot to fill out the form for students from another school and no one even noticed

they tried to fit all of them into the photo booth which davey ruled out as being “physically impossible” but race shot back with saying “even if just your finger is in it, you’re still in it” so technically with that logic they all got in one picture

but all the couples got photos and the smaller closer friends got pics together as well with their whole faces in them

jack did a backflip off the fountain and almost got kicked out

about halfway through the night davey found all his friends and gave them cups of water cause he knew they all would forget to hydrate

spot and race made-out behind one of the walkways for about 28 minutes until mike found them while looking for a place to do the same thing

when the slow songs played all the couples went out while the single friends ate some food and hung out together

henry claimed “i don’t need a date, this food can be my date, it’s the first time we’re together and i’m already eating it—god, i sound like race!”

for how clumsy he is, race is surprisingly really good at slow dancing

he’s also not-so-suprisingly good at finding his way around the rule of “no explicit sexual contact” by holding spot close enough to touch him without getting caught

sarah’s feet started to hurt from her heels about 3/4ths of the way through the night so katherine literally carried her—bridal style—to the tables to sit down and take her shoes off

but when their song came on, katherine carried sarah back to the dance floor and had her stand on her toes while they slow danced

mush won prom king

sarah won prom queen

they did a cute little winning slow dance together while their partners cheered them on incredibly loudly

at the end, they all met up at their cars and said their goodbyes for the night, taking a few more pictures and giving out hugs

(and yes, katherine did carry sarah to her car even though she said she was fine to walk)

after prom:

albert, crutchie, finch, henry, ike, kenny, smalls, and sniper (the non-couples) got together and went to denny’s at like midnight

jack and davey went back to jack’s house and laid on his roof looking at the stars, davey pointed out constellations while jack ran his hands softly across his boyfriend’s body

spot and race sped to spot’s house as quickly as possible without getting pulled over, as soon as they got inside the intimacy hit and they did everything they couldn’t—but wanted to—do at prom, they might’ve been in bed but they didn’t sleep that night

elmer and buttons got a hotel room since they both had big families at home, they got it for privacy and quiet, they held each other close and just relaxed, their hearts filled with love

mush and kid blink went to mcdonald’s and ordered + ate their weight in food then made out in the back of mush’s car until realizing they should go home so they could finish

specs and romeo went to romeo’s house and took a bath together in his jacuzzi-sized bathtub, they went all out with bubbles and candles and champagne they stole, they laid their bodies on each other and enjoy the intimacy

mike and hotshot went to an afterparty in brooklyn and get so drunk that they did karaoke in the street at 3am and then went back to hotshot’s place and made nachos

jojo and tommy boy went back to tb’s house and skinny dipped in his pool then made out in the water until jojo almost fell asleep, tommy boy then carried him to bed

katherine and sarah went to katherine’s house and took a nice shower together and got ready for bed, they put on a movie and cuddled up close in bed leaving soft kisses on each other until they fell asleep

bill and darcy drove around the city in bill’s convertible and enjoyed the night playing music while being young and in love

it truly was a night none of them would forget

[douxreviews]

Legends of Tomorrow: Luchas de Apuestas

"You were right. There’s no such thing as happily ever after."

Legends of Tomorrow is back with its first episode in nearly four months, and it comes out swinging.

The second half of season four just got real, y'all.

Wow. That is a lot to process. Just... wow.

The most admirable thing about this episode is how much every additional tragedy felt like a natural consequence of the events that led up to it. So often when a show wants to create big, dramatic rifts between its characters it ends up coming across as incredibly contrived. The writing staff wants A and B to have a falling out for whatever reason, and so they find some way of starting a fight between them that usually comes wrapped in a big sign that says 'this is an excuse for A and B to fight.'

That's not the case here at all. What we have here is a bunch of characters that we know quite well by this point, responding to events in ways that feel perfectly true to who they are. And the actions that they take cause other characters to react in ways that are true to who they are, and soon the reverberations of all of those in character actions are careening off in tragic but understandable ways. It's like watching a meticulously arranged domino pattern but with crying.

Obviously, I'm girding myself to discuss Sara and Ava.

OK, right now I'm rocking gently and repeating to myself, 'It's not permanent. They'll work it out' over and over again. But as much as I hate that Sara and Ava have broken up, I can't help but watch all the little steps that led up to it and think, 'Yes. That is exactly how Sara would respond to that' and 'Yep, that's exactly how I would expect Ava to react to that situation.' Of course Sara would choose to give Mona and the Kaupe the benefit of the doubt and try to shield them from the Bureau. Of course Ava would feel betrayed by that and respond by attempting to take more control over Sara and the Waverider in order to protect time. Or course Ava would ultimately try to prevent Sara's team from doing something she sees as reckless by sending in troops, and of course Sara is going to respond badly to that. Just to make it more heartbreaking, they both genuinely tried several times to talk the situation through like adults so that they could head the whole thing off, but failed.

Ava needed Sara to be on her side, and Sara couldn't be because that would mean abandoning Mona and the Kaupe, both of whom are basically innocent, to punishment and torture. She feels like Sara let her down, because Sara did actually let her down, even if it was for the best of reasons. Sara needed Ava to back her up against Hank and the government forces that are torturing their prisoners, and Ava couldn't do that because without Hank and his funding the Time Bureau ceases to exist, which would leave time unprotected just as it's being overrun with magical monsters. She feels like Ava is compromising herself ethically by ignoring the torture because Ava is, in fact, compromising herself ethically by ignoring the torture, even if she is doing it with the greater good in mind.

Which was a great final twist of the knife, by the way. A lot of Sara's dilemma in this episode was not knowing if Ava was part of the corrupt system, or in danger from the corrupt system. And because Sara is an emotionally healthy adult her default position was to have faith in Ava. Which made that final conversation all the more painful when Ava not only revealed that she didn't have a problem with the torturing of prisoners, she also pointed out that the Legends were sending those same prisoners to literal Hell only a few months ago. Ouch. I had forgotten that. Hell, they were ready to send Charlie to Hell now that I think about it. Goodbye moral high ground.

Meanwhile, in the rest of the episode, wow we have a lot of characters now, don't we. So, Charlie and Ray hang out back at the Waverider, while Mick, John, and Sara go to check out the Lucha Libre to which they've tracked the Kaupe. Zari, meanwhile, heads to Time Bureau HQ to dig into their security software and find out if Mona is telling the truth about not having released the Kaupe herself. She pairs up with Nate, and of course uncovers that Hank doctored the footage and is behind the whole 'creature torture' thing. Nate shows that he's undergone some character growth and doesn't fly off the handle at Hank, but instead pretends to be cool with it so that he can go all monster hunter Donnie Brasco. I like that new direction for Nate a lot. Having him investigation the TB from within is a lot more interesting than him slowly turning to the dark side and siding with Hank during the inevitable upcoming civil war, which is where I thought he was going.

Mick, John, Charlie and Ray don't get a ton to do this week, but Mick does get a couple of solid bonding scenes with Mona, over his Buck and Garima books, of which there are now apparently many. I guess that's what Mick was doing over the winter break. John, similarly, doesn't get a lot, but had a couple very nice moments with a Luchador who is supposed to be a big hero, but who's been supplanted by the time displaced Kaupe who's now wrestling under the name El Lobo. The detail that John is apparently a big fan of that particular wrestler and his later monster movies is perhaps a tad too convenient, but it was earnestly endearing, and earnest helps to excuse a lot in my book.

So, after all that uplifting triumph over adversity, Mona has the opportunity to run away with the Kaupe, but makes the emotionally correct choice to not run away from her problems, and everything is warm and fuzzy and deeply moving. But then the Kaupe is abruptly shot and killed and Mona is apparently a werewolf (were-Kaupe?) now, and all you can think as a viewer is, 'Oh, that's why they reminded us about her Kaupe-injury and why we had all the wolfman references made to the Kaupe. They were setting up that moment really well as the natural consequence of this sequence of events and I didn't even notice.'

If only every hour of broadcast television understood and used cause and effect as a result of character choices this well. What a world that would be.

So what have we learned today?

That the show isn't even remotely concerned about what the knock on effects of changes to the timeline might be anymore. That was actually the one big flaw this week. If the presence of the Kaupe in 1961 was changing the timeline in a way that the Bureau could see, then it would have eliminated a lot of the underlying problem. Specifically, if Ava could have seen that having the Kaupe fight the Lucha de Apuestas fight was the only way to get history back on the correct course, then the whole final fight could have been avoided.

Of course, the whole final fight was much more about Sara and Ava and their relationship, so it doesn't detract that much from the episode. But it would be nice if they'd addressed it at all.

Everybody remember where we parked:

This week the Waverider went to Mexico City, 1961, to catch a little Lucha Libre. And Zari somehow flitted back and forth between the Waverider in 1961 and the Time Bureau in the present day.

Present day, interestingly enough, is still stated here as 2018, probably unavoidably, as the action picks up right where "Legends of To-Meow-Meow" left off.

Quotes:

Gary: "Aw, what an adorable little puppet." Puppet: "Eat my fuzzy dung, ya dick!"

Ava: "Gary. Close that hospital gown or I will report you to HR."

Gary: "I don’t know who I am. I don’t know why anything is things. I don’t know where my nipple went. Where’s my nipple? Where’s my nipple?!?"

Constantine: "Oh, come on Raymondo."

Nate’s mom: "Zari? What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman with excellent childbearing hips."

Ava: "Sara, my ass is already on the line. Feeling me up in front of my boss is not a good idea right now."

Constantine: "Trust me, there’s nothing people like more than a good comeback."

Bits and pieces:

-- Please don't let them be hinting that Zari and Nate are going to be a couple. I'm just not down for it.

-- Zari and Sara again looked absolutely amazing in their party dresses.

-- On the one hand, I like the implication that the show has finally remembered Nate's hemophilia, since it's implied that that's why his parents host an annual fundraiser for it. On the other hand, it's weird that that never came up once from anyone.

-- Seriously, powers that be, if you're going to take a four month mid-season break, for the love of god make the first half's episodes available on-demand so that we can get back up to speed. I spent most of this episode thinking, 'Oh yeah, I forgot that that happened,' which really killed several of the reveals for me.

-- I really, really wish that there'd been a luchador with the number 5 on his mask, somewhere in the background.

-- Luchas de Apuestas means a fight with a wager on it. Usually either the opposing wrestler's mask or hair.

-- Was the Kaupe a demi-god before? Because I think that was a bit of a ret-con.

-- Apparently the heavily hinted Gary/Mona/Kaupe love triangle is not going to be a thing. I hope they find a way to fix Gary and that he forgives Mona.

-- I did not see Mona's monster transformation coming. Can't wait to see where that goes.

-- When exactly did Sara and Ava learn that Tango? Not that I'm complaining, it looked amazing.

-- I would totally play Ray's 'Cards to Save the Timeline' game.

An episode that was both a lot of fun, and a lot of heartbreaking. Welcome back, Legends. You were gone too long.

Three and a half out of four missing nipples.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[insomniac-reviews]

Running Man season 1-2

P: Running Man was classified as an "urban action variety"; a genre of variety shows in an urban environment. The MCs and guests were to complete missions at a landmark to win the race. The show has since shifted to a more familiar reality-variety show concept focused on games.

TG: This show always makes me smile.  Sometimes I laugh so hard I have to pause the video to catch my breath.  The games are fun and the cast is engaging.  It has been fascinating to watch there ‘characters’ evolve.  Seeing Ji-Hyo become the Ace, and Gary and Haha from being “the kids” to be fearsome competitors.  

TB: I know they are joking but I could do without the men mocking Ji-Hyo as much as they do.  I also get annoyed when they throw her over for hot female idols.  I in general get annoyed with the way they talk to women as if they feel like they don’t think female guest can take care of themselves.  A lot of the early episodes are only okay.  They have brilliant moments but the over all episodes could be boring.  When they shifted to a classic reality-variety show it got a lot better.

HIWFI: The addition of Lizzie for 20 random episodes was unneeded.  They never said on the show that she was that she was a cast member and when she left they just went on as if nothing happened.  She added very little to the show and I even forgot she was there at times.  I wish they were more even with who got screen time as I get tired of just following Jae-Suk around.  I feel like Ji-Hyo gets often gets very little screen time and it’s annoying.

FF: Watch the first episode and if you find it boring then skip ahead.  Yes you will be behind in some inside jokes but it’s okay.  The beginning was fun to me but also slow.  Just don’t give up on it as it is an amazing show.

This is my favorite show of all time.  It’s what I watch when I have a bad day and need cheering up.  It made me fall in love with Song Ji-Hyo an actress I previously didn’t like.  Honestly words cannot describe how this show makes me feel.  Even the ‘bad’ episodes are enjoyable to me.  I would recommend this show to anyone and have gotten several friends addicted to it.  Give it a shot.

5/5

[chompincheesecake]

CRÉPES

This will start like normal as a recipe review and then morph into more of a how-to, so bear with me.

These are not vegan because they contain eggs and milk. In America I made them with almond milk instead of dairy milk, which I actually liked better. I’ve also heard an alternative recipe (still unfortunately uses eggs but suitable for people with whom gluten is not compatible) that I’ll be attempting and uploading the recipe to soon-ish.

The original recipe can be found here: https://www.marthastewart.com/335089/simple-crepes

I will be annotating the recipe below.

INGREDIENTS -1 CUP FLOUR (so I actually have measuring cups now but elected to eyeball it) -1 TBS SUGAR (yeah…something like that…I also added some honey) -¼ TSP SALT (I was going to make fun of this before remembering that this exactly what I did–salt brings out the sweetness of anything) -1.5 CUPS OF MILK (I actually measured this) -4 EGGS -3 TBS UNSALTED BUTTER, MELTED (I eyeballed some coconut oil–refined doesn’t have the coconut smell)

So I’m going off-script from here because I have strong opinions about making crépes.

When you’re making crépes, unless those crépes are being used as the vessel to eat another thing, you will always add other stuff. First thing you need to decide is if you want a sweet or savoury crépe. I almost exclusively choose sweet because my tastebuds aren’t advanced and I’m a child. Also because my experiments with savoury haven’t been excellent and they intimidate me.

When I make sweet crépes, my big three: nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla. You’ll probably add a little more of your sweetener. I also usually add a little citrus for acidity (in the US I used lemon juice, today I squeezed a lime in).

There’s a saying in French that gets used often in kitchens referring to pancakes and crépes that translates to, “the first one goes to the dogs.” Two big reasons for this: 1) your pan usually still is not quite in the perfect temperature zone, so your first one isn’t cooked the same way the rest will 2) you’re the dog in this situation: don’t serve food without taste-testing. What is wrong? Texture too fluffy? Can’t taste your cinnamon? Needs a lil’ something-something else? Fix it now. Keep adjusting between crépes until it tastes the way it should. Today I went through two before realizing I forgot the vanilla. I can’t be serving my Thai grandma crépes without vanilla, this is her main experience with Western food!

I usually use a ladel to portion out batter. Just a small amount in the center of the pan, then literally tilt the pan to spread that batter out evenly across the pan. When it can slide across the pan without sticking, flip it over and count to ten before sliding it off. Seriously, these things are thin, you’re basically cooking the other side for show.

Your pan should either be extremely nonstick or well-greased when making crépes. This recipe has enough oil built in that it shouldn’t give you much problem, but it’s certainly something to be cautious about any time you make crépes.

After, enjoy plain (since you added all of those spices) OR put on some toppings! Popular ones for sweet crepes: -powdered sugar -nutella -jam (especially if there’s a little tartness, it compliments the citrus you added to the batter) -peanut butter?? -chocolate syrup -whipped cream

Play around with different flavors! Today I started daydreaming about chocolate-ginger-orange combos I could make by adding some cocoa powder and a smidgen of ginger to the crépe batter and then making an orange sauce with a little more ginger zest. Or a pumpkin spice one by swapping some pumpkin pie filling for an egg and adding some cloves and allspice. Crépes are really lovely just because of how flexible they are.

Have fun!!