ianjamesnewyork

[post3l]

iam showing symptoms of mental illness!!!!!!!! /vent

[nyewclear]

BakuKami headcanons on Bakugou and Kaminari living together after UA (but before they start dating)? Would it be a trainwreck? I think it would be a trainwreck...but a cute trainwreck. Like so many opportunities for things be awkward and cute...I'd love your thoughts on the idea.

oh my god i love this so much YES it would be a MASSIVE trainwreck and i am literally IN LOVE with this whole concept. its even more interesting if you throw in some more housemates… the rest of the bakusquad perhaps? i accidentally went literally crazy on this ask too so imma put a read more HAHAHAHAHA yall be sending me too many good asks recently i cant resist

but for the sake of this ask, lets just consider the idea of them living together and it just being the two of them. lets also just consider the idea that neither of them have any romantic feelings for each other prior to them living together, save that kaminari probably had a relatively small crush on bakugou that lasted a couple months in second or third year, but he likes to say hes gotten over it. so when the two of them move in together, its strictly a bro type of situation

(or so they think LMFAO)

the first couple months of them living together goes without a hitch. they have a nice little apartment just outside the city and they deal with each other pretty well. they stay out of each other’s way– kaminari keeps all his mess in his room and tries to clean up after himself in the kitchen and the bathroom since they share both spaces, and bakugou… well, hes bakugou so hes sure as hell not messy LOL. they’re both doing some supplemental college courses alongside their hero work (they’re both sidekicks at this point, trying to work their way up with assistance from their former teachers, connections, and reputations from school) and everything is fine! they hang out too, and its really natural since the two of them have gotten pretty close. they do a lot of stuff together and go quite a bit of places, and their other friends come along too most of the time

slowly, they start like… noticing things about each other. living in the dorms was different than living in such close quarters with each other, especially since its just the two of them. there have been too many times where one has walked in on the other in various states of undress and there have been too many times where their routine has almost slipped into something that resembles domesticity. and of course, kaminari is as touchy as ever, giving bakugou pats and pinches on the cheek and falling asleep on him during movies. bakugou is trying to figure out how to deal with it and he is not handling it well AHAHAHA

bakugou is the first one to come to the realization that there is something that he feels for kaminari that extends beyond just being friends. it takes him way too fucking long to realize it (and even then hes not sure what is it that hes feeling) and it happens the night he comes home from hanging out with kirishima and sero to find kaminari passed out on the kitchen table, lightly snoring on top of agency paperwork, his head resting on his arms. bakugou feels an unmistakable fondness deep in his chest and it almost takes him by surprise. he manages to take kaminari to his bedroom without waking him up, and when he goes back to his own bedroom he just stares up at the ceiling, remembering kaminaris weight in his arms (hes gotten heavier– stronger) and the way kaminari nuzzled into his chest as he walked through the apartment

we all know that bakugou is fucking horrible with feelings so he has literally no idea how the hell to deal with what hes feeling for kaminari, so it sort of manifests in being a lot more doting than he usually is. since they’re such close friends, bakugou is already pretty doting (the rest of the bakusquad can confirm this. hes like a mom, but angrier and more temperamental LMFAO), and it just ups to like level 10, mostly in the form of food. kaminari comes home to the most delicious fucking meals in the world… and even dessert. that’s how bad bakugou has it. hes fucking making dessert for a boy because he has a stupid crush omg. but its so worth it because honestly? one of the many ways to kaminaris heart is through his stomach ASDJFASDF

kaminari on the other hand… hes in the biggest fucking state of denial ever. the morning after bakugou finds him asleep at the kitchen table and carries him into his room, kaminari wakes up in his own bed all confused because he knows he did NOT go to his room to sleep. he realizes that bakugou mustve taken him to his room and basically curses himself for not being awake enough to have experienced that, which makes him so embarrassed for no reason and hes just like “SHIT my crush on bakugou NEVER FUCKING LEFT” because he lays there in bed trying to imagine what it was like to be carried by bakugou and he almost loses his fucking mind

(but at the same time hes like nah omg. that was a one time thing i CANNOT have a crush on bakugou. no. nope. no i do not)

after both of them come to this realization, they spend so much time tiptoeing around each other. when their friends come over to visit the apartment, EVERYONE but bakugou and kaminari can see the romantic tension thick in the air. the whole apartment stinks of romantic tension. it is so bad but none of their friends want to say anything, because its kind of funny to see kaminari and bakugou stumble around each other.

this happens for several weeks, and its like… its like they’re courting each other… very awkwardly. bakugou makes kaminari so much good food and spoils him with desserts and looks at him with stars in his eyes, and kaminari just fucking YEARNS and gets so touchy with bakugou. he’ll bump their legs together when they’re eating or he’ll creep up behind bakugou while he’s brushing his teeth or something. hes also started this weird game where he keeps playfully smacking bakugous ass when bakugou isn’t expecting it, and kaminari has NO idea how much it makes bakugou want to just… squeeze kaminari to death and pepper his stupid little face with kisses. there’s only one time that bakugou manages to get kaminari back, and he smacks kaminaris ass so firmly that it has kaminari gasping between breaths because hes laughing so hard. kaminaris laugh is like music to bakugous ears and as he watches kaminari almost piss himself laughing (not without laughing himself. they’re both cracking up) he realizes that he is in it DEEP he is so fucking in it and he has no idea what to do with himself

kaminari also copes with his massive fucking crush on his roommate by buying him things, and you’d think that would be so obvious and telling that he is horribly in love with him, but NO they’re both so dense oh my god. he buys bakugou the fantasy book series he loves so much, and he buys him some fancy stuff for the kitchen (and you have no idea how much bakugou appreciated that shit. oh my god. they’re fuckign dorky as hell). he also buys himself ground zero merch as a guilty pleasure… and you’d think THAT would be a tell but for some reason it doesn’t click in bakugous mind at all AHHAHAHAHSADFJHSD

their friends are all like… wow. these bitches are so fucking stupid. cuz both kaminari and bakugou come to them like “oh my god. i think im in love with him, but hes so obviously not into me” and everyone on the outside of the situation is just like

[jawnjendes]

shawn meets... | sapphire

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)(continuation/spin off of goth gf)

AN: it REALLY feels like shawnblr is fuckign dead but yknow what its spooky szn so death is acceptable! speaking of spooky, this is another for @fourtristattoos spooky writing fest! i swear im building up to actual spooky stuff pls bear with me oh and theres more smut in this

***let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist

previous chapter

sapphire’s blog | sapphire’s playlist | masterlist

Shawn was quite open to wearing anything these days. He was also open to wearing nothing, but that photoshoot opportunity hasn't come yet, though. But this pastel pink and white suit was a bit much. Actually, the sparkly silver boots were the tackiest part of this getup. Sure, the entire outfit was worth more than all three of his guitars he'd be using during the performance, but he wasn't exactly looking forward to resembling the Had To Do It To 'Em guy when he took off the pink blazer. According to Tiffany, the birthday girl wanted all party entertainers to be in her signature color.

He still hadn't met Sapphire Venus Lilith. This performance was for her, and she hadn't even attended the meetings for it. She was apparently busy with an old friend… catching up in her bedroom. For two straight days.

The yard was full of partygoers already. Tables with hot pink clothes were displayed with all sorts of snacks and drinks. Servers were going around tending to guests, all in pink bowties of course. There was also a raised, pink metallic throne in the middle of the yard, surrounded by 2 burly security guards. The throne was right in front of the stage that Shawn was going to perform on, so he wouldn't miss Sapphire in the crowd. Music was already booming through the large speakers, a Little Mix song that reminded him of a different time. The bass was shaking the window Shawn was looking out of.

“Fan of myself, I’m stanning myself I love me so much I put my hands on myself”

Tiffany was fixing the cuffs on Shawn’s blazer. Anna was doing last minute touch ups to his hair, which was slicked back. It was similar to the 2019 Met Gala, but instead of bronze streaks, it was silver glitter that was definitely going to be a bitch to wash out.

“You nervous?” Tiffany asked.

“Excited,” Shawn corrected. “I missed playing shows.”

“We need to get you on tour again.” She smiled.

“Gotta make a record first.”

There was a sudden knock on the door, making all three of them jump. Shawn made eye contact with Tiffany, and they both chuckled at the ridiculous response.

Anna went to answer, since the door was locked. “It’s probably Andrew, wondering if you’re ready.” She opened the door, and let out a surprised, “Hello! Hi, come on in!”

Just by the change in her tone, it was safe to say it wasn't Andrew who had knocked. Shawn turned to see who had come in, and was first met with a powerful flowery scent, followed by a tall, petite woman.

“Make way for the G-O-double D-E-S-S I spare no enemies in this dress Uh huh, uh huh”

This woman was blonde, curled princess locks cascading down her shoulders. On top of her head was the largest and most extra looking sparkling tiara Shawn had ever seen in his life, but it suited her. Her face was soft with pretty pink lips and piercing blue eyes. Her petite body was clad in a tiny top made of soft pink bedazzles and equally tiny shorts of the same color. There was no other way to describe her as anything but beautiful. Knock-the-wind-out-of-me, step-on-me-in-your-white-Louboutins beautiful.

She was followed by Kat, who was the polar opposite, color wise. Tight black dress, long dark hair in a high ponytail. Unlike her employer, she was not smiling, nor giving Shawn any attention. She merely typed on her phone in a professional manner, the same look Andrew would have when he was texting important people.

Shawn couldn’t even think about the potential awkward tension he would have with Kat because he was too busy gaping at the blonde. How was one person so powerful already?

“Hello, I’m Sapphire,” she greeted, holding out her hand.

Something possessed Shawn the moment he touched her soft skin, and he bent down to kiss her hand.

That seemed to please her, because she grinned, showing the tiniest dimple in her cheek. “You’re my little singer tonight, aren’t you?”

“That’s me,” he replied, almost losing his voice by how much it softened. He really couldn’t stop looking into those eyes. “Happy birthday!”

“Oh thanks, love. I can’t wait to see what you’re gonna do for me.” She was still holding his hand, squeezing ever so slightly.

Shawn’s cheeks heated up so goddamn fast. There was something in those worse, something sickly sweet and intoxicating. “I, uh, I think you’ll like it. I hope you do.”

Sapphire was still smiling as she turned to look at Kat. Wordlessly, the assistant went to Tiffany and Anna, chatting them in on the evening’s events. Then, Sapphire took Shawn by the collar of his blazer and stepped closer to him, her glossy lips at his ear.

“If I really love your gig,” she whispered, “I may give you something extra.”

And yeah, his pants got tighter. Good thing he was going to be holding a guitar all night.

Sapphire leaned back, smoothing the area she had been clinging to. “If it’s okay with you, of course.”

He cleared his throat, trying to calm his body. “Uh, no yeah. Yeah. Yes. Very okay.”

“Wonderful, darling! I’ll see you out there. Come along, KitKat!”

With that, she turned on her heel and left the room, Kat in tow.

Shawn immediately plopped down in the nearest chair, starstruck. He’s never seen nor heard of this girl ever in his life, and somehow she managed to turn him into putty within the first few minutes of meeting him.

“You need anything?” Tiffany asked, trying to mask her amusement. “A glass of water? A cold shower perhaps?”

He blushed even more. He’s never been so flustered so fast, let alone from someone he just met.

“Did I say happy birthday to her?” he asked, dazed.

“Yes,” Anna and Tiffany said at the same time.

Then, Brian entered the room, a dopey grin on his face. “Guess who just met the birthday girl!”

“Shawn did,” Tiffany answered.

Brian’s grin vanished. “What? Man, I thought I was the first one! She’s so…”

“Yeah,” Shawn agreed. Then he got up and took his friend to the side. “Dude, she wants to meet up after my set.”

“No way.”

“I swear.”

“Didn’t you just hook up with her assistant?” Brian asked. “You’d think she caught wind of that.”

Shawn didn’t know, nor did he really care. “That’s why I need you to hit up the assistant. I don’t know if she’s hung up on me or anything and I don’t wanna take that chance.”

Brian made a noise between a scoff and a laugh. “Full of ourselves, are we?”

“Please?” Shawn asked, bringing his hands together.

“Well, what if I want Sapphire and not her stuck up assistant?”

This wouldn’t be the first time Shawn asked Brian to distract a former one night stand. But it was the one time Brian wasn’t agreeing to do it. Shawn put his hands down, surprised and mildly annoyed.

“Kat’s not stuck up, trust me,” he said. “And… Sapphire said she wants me. It’s her choice.”

“I’m not taking your leftovers again, man,” Brian said as he folded his arms. “You always get the girl! Let me have something for once!”

Now Shawn was even more annoyed. “Maybe you’d get something too if-”

“If I was a famous popstar? If I was as good as you?”

“Why are you being such a dick?”

Then, Tiffany stepped in, literally. She stood between Shawn and Brian. “Guys, don’t do this. It’s just one girl.”

Brian ignored her. “I’m being a dick because I’m tired of being an extension of you! I’m being a dick because you’ve taken dates from me! You don’t even give a shit about any of them because you can’t get over-”

“Don’t!” Shawn warned, raising his voice.

Brian narrowed his eyes. “You’re not over Annalise Flores!”

“Who?” Tiffany asked, bewildered.

Paralyzed with anger, Shawn glared at the other man. The man who was supposed to be his friend. Why couldn’t he just do him this solid?

“Get out,” he said venomously.

“You know I’m right,” Brian sneered.

“Get the fuck out!” Shawn yelled.

He scoffed as he stormed out. Shawn huffed out a sigh, wanting to punch something.

“What the hell was that?” Anna asked, utterly confused. “Who’s Annalise Flores?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he grumbled. “Can you bring me Jocelyne?”

One quick shoulder rub and a redress later, Shawn’s disgruntled state eased a little bit. It was enough for him to fully focus on the beautiful lady he had to impress.

~

The set went well. It went great, because not long after leaving the stage, Charles the butler found Shawn and led him up to Sapphire’s bedroom. Shawn didn’t get to see much of the party, but that was very, one hundred percent okay.

Most of the mansion's interior was baby pink, but this was an overload. Shawn wandered around the large, pink bedroom as he waited. The walls were made of soft pink felt, and there was a large, sparkling chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The desk against the wall was the same color, along with the laptop and picture frames sat on the surface. The photos in the frames were only of the girl he was waiting for. There was no room for modesty apparently. Shawn was never not going to think of the birthday girl whenever he saw this color.

He went over to the king size bed, draped with the softest velvet covers he's ever felt. The headboard was a metallic pink… with bars. Shawn couldn't deny how exciting that felt. He really couldn't believe someone as breathtakingly attractive as Sapphire could possibly want him.

"Didn't know it was my birthday," he mumbled with a smirk.

"What was that?" a soft, female voice said from behind him.

Shawn jumped as he turned around. There stood the birthday girl, Sapphire, blue eyes wide and expectant.

"Uh, I, I didn't hear you come in," he stammered. Way to keep your cool.

She smiled warmly, fixing the silk robe she was wearing. She was quick to get out of her tight little party outfit, but she still had that sparkly tiara resting on her head. Shawn couldn’t help but notice the perky little nipples poking through the thing material, only adding to the burn in his pants.

Wordlessly, Sapphire moved past Shawn and crawled onto the bed, letting him get a view of her ass. He was about to follow, but her high heel clad foot landed gently on his chest, stopping him.

"Take off your clothes," she ordered, her voice still soft.

Shawn had a feeling he shouldn't challenge her, even though that was something he grew to love and get off on. As he unbuttoned his shirt, he felt his face and chest grow warm; Sapphire's gaze was intimidating, she didn't even blink. She looked at his face, trailing down his body as he removed more of his performance clothes. Her tongue peeked out of the corner of her mouth as she watched him drop his briefs and step out of them. Shawn felt mildly embarrassed that he was already hard, but just looking at Sapphire's pretty features made him this way. She already possessed him without even doing a single thing.

And somehow, he couldn't tell if she wanted to fuck him or eat him.

"Don't be shy," Sapphire told him as she curled her finger to get him to join her.

She moved to the side and patted the center of the mattress. Shawn crawled onto the surface and lied down against the pillows. The velvet sheets felt incredibly soft against his skin, heightening his senses.

Sapphire traced the butterfly tattoo on his bicep. The tip of her manicured fingernail left a tiny trail of fire on Shawn's skin.

"I'm so glad you were able to sing at my party," she told him. "And I'm glad you stayed."

"Me too," Shawn replied, trying to keep his voice steady. "Really, really glad."

"I can tell." She glanced down his body, making him blush.

Shawn really wanted to touch her, feel her, learn what makes her tick. He couldn't wait any longer, and it made him feel incredibly juvenile. He hasn't been so easily wound up since his university days.

"Saph-" he tried to say but a finger went over his lips.

"Shh, I know, baby boy." She leaned in close, her nose touching his ear. "I know what you want." Then she gently cupped his chin and turned his head towards hers. "I just need to know how far you're willing to go."

Shawn could barely hear himself. "As far as you want."

Sapphire's glossy pink lips curved up as she leaned in closer. Shawn closed his eyes, taking in her intoxicating flowery scent, craning his neck in the slightest, and then he felt her lips press the quickest kiss on his cheek.

He didn't even have time to breathe before she was straddling his thighs. Smooth hands went up his torso and rested on his broad shoulders, and she was hovering over him. Shawn lifted his hands to cup her pretty face, but she was much faster than him. Sapphire grabbed his wrists and pinned them down.

"No touching," she told him, her voice still soft and borderline innocent. "Understand?"

Shawn nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.

She cupped his chin once again, her blue eyes piercing his brown ones. "Use your words."

"I understand."

"Good boy." She patted his cheek. Then, she moved down his body, to his hard cock.

Breathing out, Shawn braced himself for what was about to happen. His eyes fluttered shut as a soft, warm tongue ran up the length, and then his whole cock was engulfed by her soft mouth. His immediate instinct was to place his hands in Sapphire's hair, but he had to follow her single rule. But she also had a lot of pretty blonde hair, and it was covering her face. Shawn couldn't see her mouth move on him, and he really wanted to.

Just as he lifted his hand, Sapphire sat up again, taking in a breath. She looked Shawn in the eyes as she wiped the corner of her mouth.

"I know you wanna touch me," she muttered. "But you'll have to prove that you're gonna listen to me."

He nodded rapidly, and then she was going down on him again. Shawn breathed out a soft moan at the feeling, his fingers curling around the silk sheets. It felt amazing, way too good to be real. His toes curled as he felt her mouth suction lightly, tingles spreading all throughout his body. Tiny little whimpers came out of him as the tingles persisted, causing Sapphire's blue eyes to flicker up to him as she pulled off once again.

"You are so cute," she said, reaching up to cup his chin. "Most guys don't like to make little noises like that. Keep it up."

He couldn't stop the sounds even if he tried.

Sapphire sat up and turned her body, straddling Shawn's thighs. She pushed her robe back from the bottom, letting the smooth material spread over her partner's torso. Shawn felt his cock on her ass, and resisted the urge to move his hips up. He had to be good, had to do exactly what she said.

"So, what do you prefer, little one?" she asked, moving her ass back and rubbing against his cock. "I'm on the pill, but I have condoms here if you want that."

"Mm, no condom," he answered a little too quickly, feeling the need for relief.

Her head turned, so he could see her perfectly sculpted eyebrow quirk a little bit. Then, she sat up on her knees, taking hold of the base and swiftly sinking down on it. She let out a little hiss, and remained still in that position.

"You oka-" Shawn almost got out before choking on his words.

Sapphire very quickly recovered and started bouncing on him. For a moment, the only sound was their skin slapping together, until she pinched his thigh.

“Where are my little sounds, little one?” she asked between pants.

Shawn found himself blushing yet again. What was with that nickname? What did that say about what she thought of him? He was about to ask, but he saw the back of Sapphire’s robe fall, exposing her skin. She was naked under that little robe, and she wasn’t letting him see anything. It was a tease, and only drove him further, causing a little moan to bubble past his mouth.

“That’s it,” she praised, leaning forward on her hands so as to get better leverage. She was practically twerking on his cock, making him want to grab the plump cheeks.

Obscene noises of their skin slapping and Shawn's moaning filled up the room. Sapphire was incredibly talented with her hips, keeping the rhythm steady, and she didn't stop or slow down. The coil in Shawn's abdomen was tightening more and more every minute, making his heart race and his breath hitch.

He rested his hands behind his head, eyes squeezed shut from the feeling. Fuel to the fire were Sapphire's first sounds of the evening. Shawn picked his head up and noticed her arm moving rhythmically in front of her, and he immediately knew what she was doing. God, he wanted see that, and she probably knew that too. She probably picked this position on purpose.

Even after a shaky orgasm, Shawn was still thinking about the ways he wanted to take her. All the things he wanted to do with her. His body was weak and sweaty, and he was catching his breath while Sapphire fixed her robe and plopped down next to him.

Like Kat, she still looked well put together, like all she did was go for a casual stroll. Not even sweating or panting. Sapphire did all the work and all she did was dab at her leftover lip gloss with her finger afterwards.

Shawn was a little confused at this. Why was he the only fucked out mess here? He lifted a hand, his fingers gently touching Sapphire's blonde locks to get her attention.

"Was that good for you?" he asked.

She nodded with a smile. "You did everything right, babe." Then, she took his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, and she lied her head on his chest. "Hell, I might even keep you here a bit longer than planned."

Whatever the fuck that meant, Shawn didn't really give a shit. Looking down at the beautiful socialite in his arms, he realized he wasn't prepared to leave either. And he certainly wasn't thinking of Brian, or his ex-girlfriend.

next chapter

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taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx

[vaguely-concerned]

TEMERAIRE LET’S READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN

- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:

I do love that one of his first realizations is that he’s definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name

- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and it’s only page 9 it’s going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling ‘HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???’

- “Yes,” [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence

(I am very much enjoying this uh. ‘setback’ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ‘now... from the top again, let’s see if you’ve been paying attention these last seven books’ haha. no one told me there’d be a test!!!!!!!!!!)

- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasn’t dismissed him out of hand)

- y’know... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations he’ll be blissfully, innocently unaware. that’s something, I suppose... well who am I kidding we’ll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway

- . . . and His Majesty’s Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land you’ve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars

- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post

temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!

them: what does he look like?

temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons

- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND you’re willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all you’d have to do was say something vague about how the ship can’t get too close to shore; it won’t actually help them and they’ll know it but you won’t make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious

-  :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually

- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNET’S NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway

- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed

b o i

- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself

- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I can’t even think for how darling it is

also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite

aw man I love gong su

- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I can’t breathe

KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DON’T CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captain’s table. I. am. dying

thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the ‘friends, romans, countrymen’ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance

- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurence’s adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like ‘ah well nothing for it then guess you’ll have to stay on my ship and I’ll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old child’

junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and it’s a delight

- y’know this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah don’t think so no europeans ever is the greatest ‘fair enough’ in human history.  (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)

- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling

- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why don’t you

- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons she’s the only one who has a lick of sense

- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* “Ma’am, I beg your pardon,” Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave

god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like ‘RUDE’ and “Ma’am, I beg your pardon” fdslfhsdlkjh

- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, i’m sorry about your life hammond

- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)

- bwahahaha yeah I’m sure the only reason this impressionable young kid who’s slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because he’s got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)

- aw junichiro :(:(:(

- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think you’re dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.

- “I am under an obligation to Junichiro,” [Laurence] said, quietly, “who you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?”

fdsfhsdkfsdja  *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful they’re all such good people why must this happen why this  

(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)

- “He is a prince of China, and my captain.” “The devil I am,” said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced

- good job making me cry whenever I read the words ‘principia mathematica’ naomi novik that was real nice of you

- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boy’s gigantic body mass is pure heart

- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whatever’s going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least it’s deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables

- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath

- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsyth’s ‘A Short History of Drunkenness’, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didn’t have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, let’s return to the book at hand

- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livin’ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that she’d find some way to have a good time down there

- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising he’ll take care of junichiro 😭 this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone

- I like how the incan dragons are told like ‘don’t pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equally’ while the poor japanese ones are told ‘actually don’t love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honour’ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa it’s not like they’re exempt from it, they’re just supposed to repress it to conform)

- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emily’s his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious

the descriptions of roland’s letters: even more delicious

- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurence’s robes and ‘hello darkness my old frieeeeend’ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isn’t really in a position to experience the relief

- He is very much a one-note character, but O’Dea’s resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny

- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god

- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. I’m bawling laurence’s dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everything’s a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurence’s natural loving impulse at war with his dad’s cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesn’t know what is right.............. oh b o y

- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic

- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit

- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji*  

- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them don’t get any real page time in any given one -- I’m sitting here plaintively like ‘I realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough books’

- ouch memory loss isn’t stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(

there’s something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesn’t; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writer’s POV haha

- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiro’s political situation is in all this

they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile he’s just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than he’s ever seen in his life. it’s a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book

- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear

we don’t have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get  u g l y

- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable     :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brother’s cardiac health tho

- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesn’t need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above

- laurence: approaches little

little: gay panic

- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Plato’s cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain

- oh hay arkady

poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. ‘oh shit arkady’s egg oh fuck oh crap’

- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god he’s great at what he does!

- laurence wouldn’t have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh

- thARKAY

.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck

(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like ‘well I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a job’ fhkjshdfkalhsd)

- I’m very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot

- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GOD’S SAKE is a go

- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me

- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahhha

haha

what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this

- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow

- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. That’s just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol

- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurence’s bed

(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do I’ll start crying and that’ll just be embarrassing for everyone)

- “I hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,” Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. “ -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?”

a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that he’s just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft

- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy

- “I am of the opinion,” Tharkay said, “that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.”

he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him.  

- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks that’s literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didn’t matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary

also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster

- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back

- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh

- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that ‘those particularly magnificent robes’.... *prayer hands emoji*)

laurence is like ET TU BABE?????

I think this is very delicate gong su speak for ‘please do not be a dumb bitch your majesty’

hahaha chu knows what’s up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please don’t have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident

- “If I may cut your Gordian knot,” Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... we’ve come so far

- Also this means he’s close enough to Laurence’s height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, y’know, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since it’s pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)

- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didn’t do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???

- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks

- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him

- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I don’t read history so I don’t know. might be a great idea. who’s to say.

- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the ‘communicating complex information solely through eyebrow movements’ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*

- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. he’s just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move he’s made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesn’t have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)

- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)

ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that he’s like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf

ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.

- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, he’s finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again

- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. she’s so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds

- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not  g r e a t  but also... karma. y’know?

- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment ‘oh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked’ naomi novik

(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- she’s set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that I’d need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)

- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his father’s house and it’s Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, it’s shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.

also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple “Tenzing,” [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. that’s my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are

This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesn’t have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it I’m not that keen on reading it? That’s not the ending to this story I want, so I’ll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-don’t-like-this-choice-so-I’ll-ignore-it

(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because that’s not how it usually works in real life, but that she’d just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge she’s so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... that’s too much of a letdown to bear, really)

let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.

- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, who’s been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. that’s some good spy shit right there, he knows what he’s about

[no-error]

Just little more klance again

More klance fics ive read.

Remember read author tags! There are some triggers, smut etc. So read with care yes?

the missing part   

"I can hear your thoughts," Keith nearly whispered.Lance went pale, but that wasn't what Keith was focused on.  Because he could feel the horror creeping up inside himself as Lance heard his declaration.  Because he could feel his own heart skip a beat in time with Lance's.  Because he could feel the rejection bubbling up inside him as Lance frantically worked out what all this meant."Wh—what are you talking about?" Lance said, stumbling over his words even while his mind screamed clear as day please say you're lying just say you're fucking with me don't play these kinds of games with me—

In which the paladins are subjected to the unfortunate consequences of a broken mind meld program.

20,357 words   AO3

What a Healing Pod Can't Repair

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn't be coming for a very long time.

55,777 words  AO3

Silver Tongued

One way or another,

His truth they will learn

Although perhaps the message

For them, incapable to discern

14,848 words   AO3

I'll Walk on Water to Lend You Some Air

(I've Never Loved a Darker Blue Series not completed 29,895 words 2 works)

Keith comes out of a healing pod having no idea how he ended up in it. The other paladins won't fill him in but everyone is acting weird, especially Lance. Keith is determined to find out what happened but when another mission goes wrong, he may not get the chance...

11,403 words  AO3

Love & Cheese

He’s a teenage boy, in way over his head. He’s a college kid, delivering pizzas on a bike that his mom bought for him when he was twelve. He’s a media major, a movie buff, and a total moron who’s madly in love with the snooty heartthrob at the Deli, who always gives him an extra slice of cheese. He’s a trainwreck, a total lovestruck fool, and a hopeless romantic who always says the wrong thing.

But today, despite everything, his one true goal in life is to tell the cute Deli-guy, loud and clear, “It’s not Lucas, it’s Lance.”

115,421 words   AO3

nothing's quite as sweet

Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.

50,369 words   AO3

can you tell me 

(Coffee and Crowns Series not completed 51,487 words 2 works)

Keith works in his brother's coffee shop for the summer, expecting a boring break before college. Lance changes all of that.

The boy is still in the front of the group, but he doesn't take off his glasses so Keith can't tell what he's really looking at -- either the menu or Keith. Keith feels a flash of annoyance but smothers it and pins his smile in place.

28,058 words   AO3

The Bet

Something about the casual way Lance spoke to him, with easy grins and direct words that made Keith feel comfortable, but at the same time put him on edge. Like he wasn’t supposed to be feeling this ok around someone, not him. Keith, who barely had friends until college, shouldn’t have someone who could coax him into such a sense of security that he found himself agreeing to do things he’d never thought he’d do.

35,847 words   AO3

of florists and tennis shoes

'Lance wasn’t sure if he’d imagined the brief tremble at the corner of Keith’s lips or not, that slight stutter that promised a smile. But before he could guess further, Keith gave his knee a shove and got to his feet. He reached out to him, “I’m done here, and I’ve still got some daisies to sell you.”

“Yeah,” Lance agreed, looking down at the extended palm, noting the little Saturn tattoo on the inside of Keith’s wrist where the sleeve hiked. He took the hand, “better not overprice those too, you asshole.”'

63,783 words   AO3

Written on your skin

Keith is your typical troubled kid who's just trying to sort his life out. Things aren't perfect, but he's attending night school to get enough credits for university, he loves hanging out with Shiro and Matt on the weekends, and he's prepped to be the youngest member of his martial arts club to get his second Dan black belt. Things are looking up for Keith!

That is until strange notes start to appear on his arm.

They don't come off. At least, not when Keith tries to remove them. And they're written in handwriting that Keith knows isn't his.

So where are they coming from?

34,384 words   AO3

Unknown     (Series not completed 9 works, 123,151 words)

It’s been a few months since Keith’s dad remarried, leaving Keith at a new school with no friends, no mom, and no hope. The only thing that keeps him from going completely insane is Lance Fuentes, the charming, funny, and surprisingly intimidating boy that Keith’s been admiring (read: pining after) from afar since day one.After a bad day leaves Lance miserable and embarrassed, Keith takes a chance and uses the Garrison’s school messenger system to comfort him as an anonymous admirer named Unknown. What was supposed to be a one-sided message of hope turns into the strangest friendship in the school, and soon Keith finds himself closer to Lance then he’d ever dreamed he would be. But keeping a secret this big is hard--especially when a few chance encounters lead him to become friends with Lance in real life as well.Unable to explain to Lance that he’s Unknown, and equally unable to fade away as he’d first intended, Keith soon finds himself trapped in a web of secrets and lies. As he becomes desperate to keep his identity from being discovered, Lance becomes just as desperate to find out who Unknown really is. The question is, just how far are they willing to go?

82,141 words   AO3

You and I Collide    

Lance likes to sing in the shower.

Keith lives in the apartment next door and the walls are not very thick.  And you can bet when Lance wakes him up at 7:30 in the morning, Keith has something to say about it.

72,256 words  AO3

Follow My Lead

Becoming “hook-up buddies” with Lance Sanchez was just supposed to be a small, insignificant fraction of Keith’s life. But of course, things don’t work out that way at all.

117,792 words   AO3

A Sky Full of Stars

Lance's life is hectic between his civilian and superhero identities - that is, until his soulmate and a new villain arrive to town on the same day. What's more, this villain seems to have a few secrets of his own and it's possible that, whoever is behind that mask, may not be who he claims to be. Lance is determined to figure out just who this Red Paladin is.

63,596 words   AO3

Chivalry Is Dead

Prince Lance was an adventurer. That was all there was to it. So, when he's suddenly assigned a new knight to follow him around, all Lance can think is that his freedom is being taken away, and it's all because of the red-clad, mullet boy named Keith, who is honestly just trying not to lose his job on the first day.

61,071 words   AO3

Jealousy Thy Name Is Keith   A/B/O

Keith narrowed his eyes as he watched a large alpha lean close to Lance, saying something that caused the omega to bring a hand to his mouth and laugh as though it were the most dirty thing he’d ever heard.

Now that? That, was where Keith drew the line. He slammed the empty glass that had once contained alcohol, down onto the bar lined in purple neon lights, and made his way over to the omega, his friend, Lance. Keith draped an arm over the omega’s shoulders, smirking slightly.

14,268 words   AO3

Fated

In a world of magic, Lance is a wizard and traveling performer. He possesses a special talent, the talent to read the fates of those he meets, which he uses to bolster his act. Life is good, though lonely, until he meets a hermit wizard named Keith, and both have their fates changed forever.

11,283 words   AO3

fuckign witches

Keith Kogane wasn't really interested in the art of witchcraft until he found a small shop in the city - and it honestly was one of the best decisions he ever made.

38,111 words   AO3

just like heaven

Keith's got a second sight that comes with a lot of burdens. One is being saddled with banishing an obnoxious spirit haunting Hunk and Pidge's cozy San Francisco loft.

The other is dealing with said obnoxious spirit, a guy named Lance, who doesn't remember who he is, who his family is, or what he did before falling into a coma.

But with Lance's life on the line, the pair make a deal to figure out how to save him, and fast. Along the way, they find out fate tied them together in more ways than one.

37,784 words   AO3

Mr. Fahrenheit

Thousand of years ago dragons ruled the land. Burned shit. Caused a ruckus. Number one on everyone's shit list.

That stopped when Witchers, hunters of monsters and experts in combat and death dealing, arrived and drove dragons to the brink of extinction.

Now, less than a thousand dragons roamed the earth and Lance was one of them.

His new neighbor, Keith, happened to be a Witcher.

What could go wrong?

38,932 words   AO3

Arrest Me, Officer, I Dare You

"Stay still! Anything you say can and will be held against you." Keith said, voice firm. Blue's eyebrows shot up and his eyes crinkled in what Keith could tell was a smirk. The same smirk that made Keith want to punch him.

"Officer Kogane." Blue replied, the name rolling off his tongue easily. "Does that mean you'll be held against me? 'Cos I'd happily let that happen."

Keith is a police officer who seriously wants to arrest a certain blue-eyed thief.

Though, things don't usually go as planned.

37,619 words   AO3

[blookmallow]

i started the count lucanor over again bc i thought i had trapped myself before (i Know Now... i could have gotten out of that situation but oh well i had forgotten what i was doing/etc anyway) and i think i FINALLY am getting the hang of things

so just for my own reference/idk if anyone else cares:

- you get a bone to give to the dog. i dont think the bone has any other obvious use. i dont remember if i tried not giving it to the dog on my first attempt but im guessing it probably wont let you leave or something 

- you get your grandfather’s cane from your mom. i gave it to the old woman. if you do that, she later gives you the ring. without the ring, the fake treasure chest room would be a Nuisance but probably not impossible. not sure what other consequences could be involved. not sure what other uses the cane could possibly have either. theres a spot where theres a lever missing and you don’t have anything to work it, but i dont know if the cane would serve that purpose or not and it doesnt seem to be a Required thing

- you can give coins to the merchant (and he steals an extra one). i think this caused him to later give me one of his items for free, so you probably save coins overall by doing that. you would have to pay more coins otherwise so i guess this one mostly just depends on how you use your coins. however, if you......take the goatherd’s friendly suggestion, as i discovered this time around, : ) ill get into that more later,

that causes the merchant to run away. i had already bought all his things at that point so i dont know if i would’ve been able to just take them for free if i hadnt 

- if you share food with the goatherd he still gets murdered by his goats :’) that bit is scripted and wasn’t my fault. however he becomes very friendly toward you and gives you a crowbar that you can open vents with and sneak around and generally makes your life easier. i thought you couldn’t progress without it (he won’t give it to you if you didn’t help him before) but it turns out there were just some things i missed :’) im also not sure if he offers you his.... assistance, if you didn’t help him before, since he definitely did NOT say that to me before but its possible i might’ve missed it somehow

anyway. as it turns out there was. a massive chunk of the labyrinth i missed before which was why i couldnt make any further progress :’) oh well ive learned more stuff this way anyway 

come on now thats just rude 

i didnt touch it so i dont know if its actually possible to open it without getting dead (or if maybe you just get hurt but not Killed) so i dunno whats in there. its not a kobold letter chest so its probably just food or candles or coins or something. im not desperate enough to try it 

i might go back for it but i also dont really want to go into that labyrinth again

holy shit 

i. love this 

thank u ambrosius

he told me he had advice for me but i had taken too long so it would no longer be useful so 

i have no idea what advice he was going to tell me (or at what point it’s considered “too late,” or if he just says this no matter what, for that matter) but it was definitely worth it just to experience him 

uhh. shit 

i may be misinterpreting this, but, 

anyway i made it back up to the bit where pig boy tells you to murder his mom 

last time i used the corn to trap him in the treasure room with the cage and got him to give up the letter that way, however, this time, i discovered,

HES OFFERING TO COMMIT MURDERS FOR ME JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT :’) i fuckign.....love him. i love u, murder buddy

my first instinct was “ok while i admire the shit out of you and the fact that this is an option, i should probably not do that since i Know theres a nonviolent solution to this problem” 

but then that was shortly followed by, do i really fuckign want to negotiate with eisbein or whatever the fuck his name is. do i REALLY want to pass up the chance to straight up murder him i have longed for his death this entire time am i REALLY gonna NOT

hans asks him whose left/right he means (his or mine) and he just laughs at you, plus he is shall we say perhaps not the most trustworthy of friends, however lovely he may be, so i figured the. outcome of this decision might get messy in more ways than one 

so i decided to save beforehand and just. see 

you’re the best 💕

alright lets fuckin do this

i guess this is goodbye 

good fucking riddance pig boy 

hhHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA HOLY SHIT

HE DID IT... HE REALLY DID IT. LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THE CARNAGE I HAVE CAUSED. FUCK. I LOVE IT????

oh sorry about your son though lady 

ALRIGHT COOL SHE DOESN’T EVEN MIND 

EVEN YOUR OWN MOM IS KINDA GLAD YOU’RE DEAD, BUD 

i genuinely dont even feel bad l m a o bye

you are a terrible influence and i Love You thank u so much for doing murder for me xoxo

aaaaaaaaave maaarriiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaa

i also have no idea whether theres any other use for the corn (i havent seen any) so i probably didnt actually need to get it in the first place but i didnt know this was an option at the time :’) 

however, very shortly after this i died accidentally and got put back to right before i made The Decision, so i decided to just kinda. experiment a lil bit since i had a conveniently placed save point 

so next i tried clicking BOTH goats (even though i see no actual reason to kill the old woman, i was just doing Okay What Happens If) 

this crazy son of a gun sure loves murder (i love him.......) 

well FUCK

i like the blood fountain thats a nice touch 

well yeah, kiddo, you kinda made a deal with a very, very murdery decapitated head and his demon goat buddies. this is exactly the outcome you asked for

then i restarted again, both bc i didn’t actually want this and because i wanted to see what happens if you kill the woman and not eisbein

also why the fuck does eyesbean get a Name and my boy the goatherd doesn’t 

YOU TOLD ME TO DO THIS YA DUMBSHIT

fuckign idiot pig demands his mother’s death and then cries when he gets what he asked for 

anyway then i restarted again 

and i killed eisbein again :’) i decided to make that my Official Decision im sticking with, im officially A Murdererer and im not sorry 

HHAAAHAHAHA I WAS READY FOR YOU THIS TIME 

HAVE FUN BEING. STUCK BEHIND. BOXES AND SHIT

oH FUCKSHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SAFE GARDEN GET OUT GET OUT 

[xjvsmyn]

i was tagged by @msf-diamond-dog!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my sister 3. Text message: gage! 4. Song you listened to: heads will hang - fit for an autopsy 5. Time you cried: on the 3rd when deftones played phantom bride and digital bath LMAO

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yesss 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah lmfao 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: nah 10. Been depressed: yeeeeeah  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. green 13. blue 14. purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: ye!! 16. Fallen out of love: that requires fallin in love this year tho 17. Laughed until you cried: yes hahaha 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not that i can remember 19. Met someone who changed you: sorta 20. Found out who your friends are: hmm yeah i guess 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeeeee

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them 23. Do you have any pets: my cat, luna and my snake, rypto! 24. Do you want to change your name: nah yo i like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went to a lil cat cafe (it was cute as shit omg u just get to pet cats and drink coffee for like an hour.........like...binch.) and wandered around seattle and theeeeeen got dinner 26. What time did you wake up: like 11am lmfao 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: bein asleep bc i passed out early as fuck last night 28. Name something you can’t wait for: summer slaughter on august 17th! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: right now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: oh man i don’t even know 31. What are you listening right now: the tv lmao 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: uuuuh i don’t think so  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: how poor i am rn  34. Most visited Website: facebook n twitter

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: nah 36. Mark/s: what do you mean......like.......scars?? birthmarks?? idfk 37. Childhood dream: shit i don’t know 38. Haircolour: right now it’s a blue n green ombre type of thing 39. Long or short hair: long! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yesssss 41. What do you like about yourself: hair and music taste, that’s it tho lmao 42. Piercings: industrial in both ears, double tragus in both ears, stretched ears, 3 additional normal ear piercings, my bridge, nose on both sides, septum, lip, chest dermals, nipples, my tummy, hip dermals,  43. Bloodtype: o negative 44. Nickname: jas and fuckign jasmeme 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: libra 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV Show: it’s always sunny in philadelphia hahaha 49. Tattoos: none until like november / december, but i plan on having sleeves on both arms! 50. Right or left hand: right handed 51. Surgery: not unless getting teeth pulled counts lmao 52. Hair dyed in different color: no my hair is naturally blue :^ ) 53. Sport: sports are lame as shit 55. Vacation: uhhhH i have no idea 56. Pair of trainers: ??? what

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothin right now 58. Drinking: waaaater 59. I’m about to: listen to music and go on the internet some more 61. Waiting for: Death™ 62. Want: what do you m e a n 63. Get married: oh sure why not 64. Career: somethin to do with music hopefully

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: both! 66. Lips or eyes: hmm both! 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older yo i couldn’t date someone younger than me lmao i’d feel hella weird 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i don’t care about either 71. Sensitive or loud: somewhere in between idfk 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: why not both tho

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nah 75. Drank hard liquor: lmfao yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t wear either 77. Turned someone down: yeeeeeee 78. Sex in the first date: second date lmdaoadsjldksjf 79. Broken someone’s heart: ye 80. Had your heart broken: yuuppp 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yeeee 83. Fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: nah dude 85. Miracles: uuuuuuuuh idk 86. Love at first sight: sometimes 87. Santa Claus: lmao no 88. Kiss on the first date: heck yea dude  89. Angels: nope

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: chloe (ur damn right i just put my sister as my best friend) 91. Eye colour: brown 92. Favorite movie: uuuuuuuuuh i don’t watch movies tho

thank you!! i tag whoever wants to do this hahaha you can just say i tagged you!

[chronotopes]

of fire and stars: final impressions

spoilers for the latest Gay YA Fantasy under the cut! 

there was something vaguely aggravating about character voice in it, mainly in the early parts of the book. i think mare in particular had a tendency (before she’s revealed as Soft™) to revert to the Snarky First Person Narrator trope. and i sensed a problem in the tone that was conspicuous to me mainly because i struggle with it so much - an incomplete integration of character voice into a period fantasy setting, if that makes any sense. some of the things the characters said/thought were jarring

that said: the main love story was charming and i liked the protagonists a lot. i mainly warmed up to mare about halfway through the book due to the issue described above but - while my investment in her grew w the book as well - denna was great from the getgo

like i said last night i laughed at denna’s ‘crush’ on olin bc That Iconic Lesbian Experience Of Attaching Oneself To ‘Unattainable’ Men

i loved ellaeni??? i love that denna got a little fellow lesbian pal to hang out with. i hope she and her sea girlfriend are very happy together. overall i think fantasy narratives in a non-heteronormative setting are always Doing A Great Thing and i liked the visibility that that retained throughout the book

mm as soon as i found out horseback riding would be the initial vehicle for them getting to know each other i was like ‘oh boy oh boy oh boy’ because: lots of opportunities for EXCITING TOUCHING while mutual-pining at one another. the book did not disappoint. boy didn’t it. also: CORSET LACING JESUS CHRIST

“as she walked away, something tugged on the thread that held me together. if she pulled too hard, my life was bound to unravel.” OOMPH WHAT KIND OF ROMANTIC ASS BULLSHIT I LOVED THAT

and i love that the moment denna realizes she’s into mare she just??? goes for it?? no lesbian angst, not even any ‘i’m engaged to your brother’ angst just. go for it! flirt with her like hell - in the picnic scene she is just KNOWINGLY DRIVING MARE CRAZY so then mare has to retaliate by Dressing To Impress at the concert but then denna takes Full Charge and just. like i said. goes for it!!! because we sort of fall a little bit for mare’s impression of denna as blushing and passive but boy she just. gets r ight in there. 

‘mare let’s do it’, says denna. ‘ohh denna we shouldn’t’ mare says, already taking off her clothes

AND i love that the whole magic secret-keeping thing doesn’t drive them apart, and that mare never thinks for a second that denna could have been the one to kill her father, and that denna tells her instead of Witholding It Like A Fool Like Certain People One Could Mention, and that - in fact - almost ALL of the things keeping them apart are external ?? like that’s so good

also they both have friends!! which is great!! although poor nils :(

speaking of The Actual Plot: i liked what was done with the magic arc, especially at the end, and the transformation from a sort of waffly moderate concept both the protags have in their heads to “i’m freeing all the imprisoned mages because fuck you that’s why”. 

the whodunnit was a bit obvious and i could have done with a more interesting villain (also i’m tired of Desert Nomads being the villains!! they have an entry in dwj’s tough guide to fantasyland (”occupy the hot parts to the south, which is either desert or rather parched grass. for some reason this is ideal terrain for breeding horses…”) and i don’t think i’ve ever seen a Desert Nomad that wasn’t either a sinister villain or some kind of Wise Advice Vehicle. (i don’t think the ones that were featured in allana of trebond’s White Savior Antics count lol)

mmm someone do justice to the desert nomads they deserve it. 

that public kiss!! you KNOW mare fuckign dipped her and if they hadn’t had to deal with a whole kidnapping and assassination thing denna would have just. sat down on the floor and contemplated how hot that was. Just Mare Things: Kissing Your Secret Girlfriend In Public For The Drama Of It All

i liked denna’s relationship with her mother (and thank god her mother knew she wasn’t dead at the end). also denna’s got three grandparents on her mother’s side so i totally choose to believe they were ALL together - i think that’s implied in the text??. these kingly magic polyamory antics <3

i love this climax!!!??? denna CONJURES LITERAL DAMN STARS, FAKES HER DEATH, AND GOES TO ZUMORDA WITH HER SECRET GIRLFRIEND?? love these dramatic gay antics

overall it was just. like it had some of the usual ya pitfalls (and #JusticeForDesertNomads alert!!) but it was just?? so nice? to read a book by a woman who loves women about girls in love that just had the stakes of a normal ya romance? with a reasonably interesting magic/political plot? idk it was just. very nice. it’s the sign that someday there’ll be massive arrays of books like this.