#i fucking hate all of this you make me feel inferior and embarrassed and miserable and dysphoric

[tealvenetianmask]

Thoughts about Striker being a "supremacist:"

On the surface, he's sort of a social class activist/ Robin Hood archetype. I think he truly thinks of himself this way. But when Blitz calls him a supremacist, who's he a supremacist against exactly? It's imps. This guy hates imps (and also identifies as one, even though he's clearly some sort of hybrid, which is interesting).

Let me show you what I mean. The short version is that he's the self-hating minority bigot trope, and it's executed really well.

"Blue Bloods"

"Disgusting, rich, pompous goetia"

"Some of us have everything we care about taken away by fuckers like you."

"You don't get to talk over me. . . all you ever do is try to talk over us."

"Once I split your neck open and let you choke on your own blue blood, you won't be worth any more than the tomb stone you'll be buried under."

So . . . first, he doesn't actually say a lot that's solely about royals, and ALL of the quotes above are about how royals look down on people like him, NOT about any inherent flaws that they have. They're about class, not race, unless you count "blue blood" as race. I don't. It's tied directly to money. "Disgusting" comes up in reference to Blitz's relationship with Stolas, but the words "rich" and "pompous" follow immediately. Striker hates royals because he hates that society places them above him.

Imps

"Pathetic."

"You little things aint worth the cleanup."

"Oh I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of, little one."

"Blitz, come on. You know the two of us are superior to most of our kind."

"I still think it's embarrassing. You're wasting a lot of potential relying on a weak little . . ."

"Vermin"

I think that this is where Striker's worldview comes into clearer focus. He thinks that Moxxie and Millie (and by extension MOST imps) are inferior to him. The word "vermin" is particularly telling. There's something visceral about his disgust for "lesser" imps.

I think Striker worries that they reflect who he really is. I think he truly believes that imps are inferior to higher class demons, and he fears that if he doesn't prove himself to be special (through violent dominance), he's vermin himself.

Notice how in the image below, his edge over Moxxie is all about size and physical strength- the things he implies throughout the episode make him the superior being. Look at that wide smile. He loves the feeling of being superior.

Relationships between imps and royals

"You are so above sucking on a disgusting rich pompous goetia . . ."

"kill the unkillable . . . starting with the one that treats you like a plaything."

"Blitzy"

"You two are both embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue bloods to begin with. But at least loud mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of being a little purse dog."

"This worthless little pet reeks of his over bloated master. I'll at least enjoy getting rid of him."

Striker clearly sees these relationships as imps lowering themselves. It doesn't seem to occur to him even for a moment that these relationships might involve genuine care because he sees all interactions between social classes as being about power and "who wins."

Notice that despite in theory caring about the power dynamics, Striker puts most of his shaming language on the imps in the relationships, and uses demeaning language to do it- "embarrassments, purse dog, little pet," as if they're at fault (for being used, in his view . . .?) and should be ashamed.

I thought about delving more into why Striker sees Blitz as closer to his own level, and I think it comes down to the things he values (physical strength, willingness to kill, detachment/independence), which are not the things that we the audience end up liking the most about Blitz. He misses the point of what actually makes our boy great, basically. 😍

I've spent a lot of time reading and watching videos about real life white supremacists because I like to be miserable, and . . . yeah, this character really shares their view that some people are inferior to others, and that the traits that make them inferior are inherent and immutable. The people he hates just aren't the ones he'd have us believe he hates.

[citrusghost-etc]

some days i fucking hate being trans and autistic i fucking hate it i don’t want to be like this it fucking sucks and i hate it

[engie-ivy]

Remus and James find out Sirius has been hiding their friendship from his parents. Maybe they jump to conclusions a bit too fast.

“Apparently we, mere halfblood and blood traitor, are deemed unworthy of the heir of the ‘Noble and Most Ancient House of Black’. I suppose he doesn’t want to lose face by letting his precious pureblood relatives find out he has befriended such inferior wizards.”

A bunch of berks

“What the fuck, Sirius!” James is standing with his hands on his hips, glaring at Sirius. If the tone of his voice and his posture weren’t enough to show his anger, the fact that he uses Sirius’ name instead of his nickname does it.

“What’s going on?” Remus asks warily, as he approaches their table.

“Prongs has been reading my letter from home,” Sirius says, glaring at James.

Remus looks from Sirius to James. Sirius never talks about his family. Remus and James only know what everyone knows based on their reputation: they’re supposedly stiff, old-fashioned, and narrow-minded. Remus and James never bring them up either. They know Sirius isn’t like that, and that’s enough. Besides, you can’t really ask your best mate ‘oi, are your parents really as horrible as everyone says?’

James rolls his eyes. “Not on purpose! It was lying on the table and I picked it up, not knowing what it was.”

“And you didn’t realise until after you read the whole thing?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Then I was too appalled to stop reading!” James snaps back. He straightens the piece of parchment in his hand. “Moony, hear this!”

Remus opens his mouth to say he really doesn’t want to hear Sirius’ private correspondence without his permission, but what James reads to him makes the words die in his throat.

“ ‘We don’t see why you should want to stay at Hogwarts for the Holidays. Gryffindor already has hardly any decent purebloods, and I expect the few there are will be going to their families themselves. It is quite pointless for you to stay there on your own’ Or this sentence! ‘We understand that in such an abdominal environment as Gryffindor House the temptation to form relations with witches or wizards of a lesser descent can be strong, but we expect you will be sensible enough to continue to solely associate with decent purebloods, or at least as decent as the ones in Gryffindor can be’.”

Remus frowns. “Solely associating with purebloods? That doesn’t make any sense.” The Potters are infamous blood traitors in their circles, and no one would mistake the Lupins for purebloods.

“Well, you see, Moony,” James says. “Turns out Sirius here has been hiding our friendship from his family.”

Remus stares at Sirius. “Why?”

James huffs. “Apparently we, mere halfblood and blood traitor, are deemed unworthy of the heir of the ‘Noble and Most Ancient House of Black’. I suppose he doesn’t want to lose face by letting his precious pureblood relatives find out he has befriended such inferior wizards.”

Sirius grits his teeth. “I never said that!”

“So you deny that you’ve been purposely hiding our friendship to please you’re parents and their blood supremacy ideas?”

“No, but-“

“Well then,” James cuts him off.

“It’s not important whether they know!” Sirius says, almost sounding desperate. “They’re not important.”

“If they weren’t important to you, you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of pretending!” James argues back.

“You’re embarrassed about being friends with us?” Remus whispers. “You’re ashamed of us?”

Sirius looks at him with big, pleading eyes. “Moony, no...”

Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus knows they’re maybe being a bit unfair. They’re jumping to conclusions without giving Sirius a chance to explain. But James is raised in such a way that he’s completely allergic to anything that even leans towards blood supremacy, and Sirius pretending to uphold his parents blood supremacy ideas is definitely enough to set him off. And Remus... Remus is not a very confident person, but if there’s anyone who makes him feel like he’s worth a damn and good enough just the way he is, then it’s Sirius. And to now find out that Sirius is actually ashamed of him... Well, that hurts. A lot. So neither Remus nor James is really thinking clearly.

“Is this also why you never want to meet up during the breaks?” Remus asks.

“I hadn’t even thought of that!” James says. “I guess we’re good enough to hang out with at Hogwarts, without many other options, but when you can also choose to be with your precious pureblood friends and family, we don’t make the cut anymore.”

“That’s not... I don’t even have...” Sirius sputters. “You don’t know what it’s like!”

“Don’t know what it’s like?” Remus asks, incredulously. “You really think our parents didn’t have any reservations when they heard we befriended a Black? But we stood up for you! We told them you were nothing like the rumours say. We defended you, but I guess you didn’t feel like doing the same for us.”

Sirius stares at the ground. “I just didn’t think it was worth all the trouble,” he says softly.

“We weren’t worth it?” James asks. “Okay then, noted. We were wrong when we defended you anyway. You’re exactly like your ancestors. You’re a real Black. They can be proud of you.”

Sirius just stares at him for a while, face gone pale. For a moment, Remus thinks he’s going to tell James not to talk shite about his family, but then he just turns around and walks away.

Remus sighs. “I don’t think we handled that very well. What he does and doesn’t tell his parents is his own choice, after all.”

“But he’s been pretending to uphold their blood supremacy ideas!” James says defensively. “Or what if he’s not pretending with them, but with us?”

Remus shakes his head. “Prongs, we’ve known him for years! One letter can’t suddenly make him an entirely different person.”

James sighs. “I suppose you’re right. It’s none of our business if he wants to play the perfect pureblood son for his parents.” He looks hesitantly in the direction Sirius had gone off to. “Should I go after him?”

“Probably not right now,” Remus replies. “He’s upset, we’re angry and hurt. It’s probably best if we all calm down a bit and then have another conversation about it.”

They still have classes the rest of the day. Sirius doesn’t sit with them, and looks positively miserable. That’s enough for Remus to whish they had just talked it out right away. To make a bad day worse, they have to face Boggarts in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Remus is anxiously standing in line next to James. What kind of mad professor would think it okay to let students face their biggest fears in front of all their peers?

Soon enough, it’s Sirius’ turn, and Remus and James watch in amazement as the Boggart turns into his mother. Remus recognizes her from the glimpses he has seen at King’s Cross, but even if he hadn’t, it’s clear from her haughty air and typical aristocratic features. What’s also hard to believe, is that Sirius actually flinches when he sees her.

Even with having learned that morning that Sirius has been lying about their friendship to live up to his parents’ standards, it still comes as a shock to Remus that it’s actually Sirius’ biggest fear to disappoint his mommy. It seems so unlike Sirius, and quite frankly, it pisses Remus off that he cares so much about that lot’s good opinion. Judging by the way James’ jaw has tightened, he feels much the same.

They fully expect Sirius’ mother to begin scolding him, and they’re quite taken aback when she... smiles. It’s an approving and proud smile, and she looks at Sirius with admiration.

“Sirius, my son,” she speaks fondly. “You are truly a perfect representative of the Black family values. You’re exactly like your ancestors. You’re a real Black. We’re so proud of you,” she finishes with almost an exact echo of James’ words.

Sirius puts on a brave face, squares his shoulders, and casts a well-aimed Ridikkulus. The black stole his mother is wearing over her robes suddenly turns into a big, black dog, very reminiscent of Padfoot, who jumps on the ground and bites her in her arse. She jumps with a shriek and the Boggart retreats. Sirius turns around and walks out of the room not meeting anyone’s eye.

Students are whispering and Professor Flitwick looks confused. After all, why would someone’s biggest fear be their mother being proud of him?

Remus stares after Sirius. So he’s not afraid of falling out with his family and earning their disapproval. He’s actually afraid of fitting in with his family and earning their approval.

James grimaces. “We really buggered up, didn’t we?”

Sirius is sitting on the stairs with his knees tucked against his chest. James sits down on one side of him, and Remus on the other.

“We’re a bunch of berks,” James says. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, you have every right.”

Sirius shrugs. “You weren’t wrong. I have been hiding out friendship from my family.”

Without thinking, Remus wraps an arm around Sirius’ waist and he feels a tingle in his stomach when Sirius leans in to him. “We were just attacking you without giving you a chance to explain. We judged you without knowing the situation. We’re sorry, Padfoot.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“You did nothing wrong,” James argues.

“I made you believe I was ashamed of you. I hate that,” Sirius replies. “You must believe me when I say I don’t think myself better than you because of the bloody blood that flows through my veins! Quite the opposite,” he adds with a murmur.

“Of course we believe you!” James exclaims. He nudges Sirius with his shoulder. “How could we not? You just irrefutably proved that being like your family is your literal worst fear! We’d have to be massive idiots to not believe you.”

“Well...” Sirius says with a teasing smirk.

“Oi!” James shoves Sirius playfully.

Remus laughs, but something is still gnawing away at him. If Sirius doesn’t seek his parents’ approval, why hide their friendship from them? For that matter, they still don’t know why they never see him during the breaks. And his own mother being his biggest fear is just wrong, especially with the way Sirius flinched upon seeing her. Something is off.

But for now, James and Sirius are laughing together again. For now, Sirius is pressed up against Remus, resting his head on Remus’ shoulder, with Remus’ arm firmly around his waist. For now, it’s alright.