#i genuinely hope marisha’s cooking some good stuff from what just happened

[paperglader]

Laudna.

Back to the place where she died.

Back to the place where she has been brought back. Twice.

Still healing from that. Still not over how not too long ago she killed a man in cold blood because she lost control. Because of betrayal. Darkness. Hunger.

A little kid touched her chest and felt so much hatred that she had to run away, scared. A hatred that laudna did not put there, that is not her own but that she’s been made to carry.

Delilah. Imogen’s promise.

Ashton. Her friend. The one that’s as visually broken as her. The one that’s always got it. The one that’s enabled her behavior in the past. Comforted her. Betrayed her. Hurt Fearne. Almost didn’t make it through. Reckless. Stupid. Woke up something within her, something bad.

The shard. Delilah. Hunger. Fear. She’s gonna hurt someone again. Her old hut. Coldness.

“Sometimes you have to walk from whence you came to appreciate how far you’ve come.”

The woods. Her friends running after her again. Guilt. Shame.

Ashton’s doll.

Imogen, the one she loves, the one that gave her a reason to live, the one that has never shied away from her, that has loved her through it all. She took off the circlet that kept her away from Laudna’s thoughts– thoughts that once were musical, that truly were the first reason that drove them together– immediately told her that she was disgusted by what she now found within her, the recent state of presence of the woman that lives there. That haunts her. Her abuser, driving Imogen away.

Laudna’s not sure which of her wants or feelings are actually hers anymore.

Laudna dreams about a normal life. Sometimes. All the time..