#definitely want them to communicate but it was for sure a punch to the gut for laudna after everything

[paperglader]

Laudna.

Back to the place where she died.

Back to the place where she has been brought back. Twice.

Still healing from that. Still not over how not too long ago she killed a man in cold blood because she lost control. Because of betrayal. Darkness. Hunger.

A little kid touched her chest and felt so much hatred that she had to run away, scared. A hatred that laudna did not put there, that is not her own but that she’s been made to carry.

Delilah. Imogen’s promise.

Ashton. Her friend. The one that’s as visually broken as her. The one that’s always got it. The one that’s enabled her behavior in the past. Comforted her. Betrayed her. Hurt Fearne. Almost didn’t make it through. Reckless. Stupid. Woke up something within her, something bad.

The shard. Delilah. Hunger. Fear. She’s gonna hurt someone again. Her old hut. Coldness.

“Sometimes you have to walk from whence you came to appreciate how far you’ve come.”

The woods. Her friends running after her again. Guilt. Shame.

Ashton’s doll.

Imogen, the one she loves, the one that gave her a reason to live, the one that has never shied away from her, that has loved her through it all. She took off the circlet that kept her away from Laudna’s thoughts– thoughts that once were musical, that truly were the first reason that drove them together– immediately told her that she was disgusted by what she now found within her, the recent state of presence of the woman that lives there. That haunts her. Her abuser, driving Imogen away.

Laudna’s not sure which of her wants or feelings are actually hers anymore.

Laudna dreams about a normal life. Sometimes. All the time..

[bronx-bomber87]

First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.

I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.

6x08 Punch Card

Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.

Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.

Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.

Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.

This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.

Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.

This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....

Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.

Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.

Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.

Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha

What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.

Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…

Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.

This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...

Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.

Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.

From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.

Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.

First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.

‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.

Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*

Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.

Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.

I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.

She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.

Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.

Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.

He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.

Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.

That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.

Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.

But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.

[burnt-tortellini]

Phillip Graves is cursed forever to sleep on a twin sized mattress (feat. soap)

aka line by line breakdown of twin size mattress by the front bottoms and how it relates to gravesoap because i made a joke about it on tiktok and i cant sleep

“this is for the lions living in the wiry broke down frames//of my friends bodies”

a key part of being in a non private military is that the people you’re surrounded with are literally stripped down to being a fighter and to their aggression and how good they are at killing people. having a genuine connection with anyone is hard when basic/SAS training guts you of most of your personality when youre on the job. the 141 in general are good examples of people who slip through the cracks but other examples of people who arent like that that theyre around is people who are part of pmcs like the shadow company who dont have SAS training exactly.

“when the flood water comes it aint gonna be clear//its gonna look like mud//but i will help you swim i will help you swim//im gonna help you swim”

one of the reasons i hc soap putting up with graves’ toxic behaviour is because he sees his past self in him. he sees the internalised homophobia and the self hatred and he wants to help because he knows from experience exactly whats coming, what itll look like and what he wished he had when he was going through it.

“this is for the snakes and the people they bite//for the friends ive made for the sleepless nights//for the warning signs ive completely ignored”

soaps aware hes getting hurt, hes aware that the most graves will let them be seen as is really close friends but hes also aware of the night hes spent lying awake wondering why he went back to graves’ room knowing hes wake up in his anyway. hes seen the warning signs and they are yet to stop him

“its no big surprise you turned out this way//when they closed thier eyes and prayed you would change//and they cut your hair and sent you away”

soap understands why graves is like this, he might not have grown up in southern America but he’s no stranger to the Christian culture surrounding being queer. the military is often seen as an escape from society or the people in your community, they might not have sent him away as such but they definitely pushed him in that direction

“you stopped by my house the night you escaped//with tears in my eyes i begged you to stay//you said ‘hey man, i love you, but no fucking way!’”

while graves’ betrayal was a complete shock to soap i think they both fantasise about what couldve happened if graves told soap beforehand. i personally think that if canon compliant graves ever did confess it was the night before he betrayed them because he knew it would be the last time

“im sure that we could find something for you to do on stage//maybe shake a tambourine or when i sing, you sing harmonies”

in an AU where soap finds out about the betrayal before it happens i think he would try and convince graves to stay and try to carve out a place for him in the 141 so he could switch sides despite them both knowing its not feasible

“it should’ve felt good but i can hear the jaws theme song//on repeat in that back of my mind”

in the lead up to the betrayal i think soap realised something was wrong, graves was making the most of their time together and trying to appreciate what they had while they had it but soap could sense something was wrong even though graves kept denying it

“make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face//there are lessons to be learned//consequences for all the stupid things i say”

graves knows that soaps gonna be pissed, he knows hes ruined it and worst of all he knows that the anger soap shows him will he more emotion than graves ever gave him back

“and it is not big surprise you turned out this way//the spark in your eyes, the look on your face//i will not be blamed”

whatever soap thought he saw in graves is gone the second he betrays them. and then it hits him that this was always what was going to happen, this was always the plan and it kill him because he had to convince everyone (cough ghost cough) that they could trust him and he was wrong. thats gonna leave a stain on his reputation

“i wanna contribute to the chaos//i dont wanna watch and then complain//cause i am through with finding blame//that is a decision that i have made”

soap has a bit of a moment after the betrayal where he decides he either wants to never so much look at a man again or just become THE worst person ever when it comes to dating

“she hopes im cursed forever//to sleep on a twin-sized mattress//in somebody’s attic or basement my whole life//never graduating up in size to add another//and my nightmares will have nightmares every night”

soap is PRAYINGG for thjs mans downfall

[thedestructionofgrace]

SPOILERS!! Gosh, the new episode of the last of us was amazing (as expected). To get a little background on Henry and Sam just made their deaths even more devastating, we already knew Henry would do anything for Sam but now we get to see how far he really went for his little brother (killing a well loved/known person for medicine).

The fact that they incorporated keivonns deafness too, was great to see (I am deaf too, I can’t sign but I wish I could and think it’s a real beautiful language) Sign language is really useful especially in situations where you can’t be loud or give away your location. It’s awesome to see hard of hearing/deafness portrayed in the show and I wasn’t expecting it or aware, maybe they did that on purpose, they didn’t make a big announcement about having a deaf character for clout, their just happens to be someone who’s deaf and that’s it. I love it.

Oh man, I love apocalypse shows. They always reveal people’s true nature. What’s interesting to me is that for 20 years Kathleen’s people were under the thumb of FEDRA, they fought (endured?) and survived them and took the city for themselves. In another situation we know the audience would support the people and be happy to see them get justice but instead of being good guys the writers kinda flipped it on us by giving us Kathleen and her right hand man (Perry), who we automatically hate because of their want to kill the two brothers. To me it’s thought provoking, if we’d started off with Kathleen and her brother there’s a chance we’d hate Henry for killing him and we’d be on her side instead of Henry and sams. It’s kind of like the situation with Abby, we hated her automatically for killing Joel but we actually got to see her side of the story and now I love her character and understand why she did what she did, it’s guess it’s not an official parallel between the storylines but that is how I see it.

I’m not sure if changing sams age (from early teenager like Ellie to child) was on purpose or not but I thought it was really good, you don’t get to see any really young kids beside Ellie, Riley, Sarah and Abby (but they were in their teens when we see them in flashbacks). To see it from a child’s perspective was heartbreaking especially since we knew what was coming to him, Sam and Ellie’s relationship could not have been portrayed any better in my opinion. Sam showed Ellie he was bitten and they first thing she does was try to save him 🥺 and she stays up and comforts him throughout the last night of his life while his big brother is in the next room none the wiser. Like that shit had my eyes teary and blurry. While i knew that they were going to die the writers still managed to find a way to still make their deaths shocking and rip out my heart (again), so they deserve high praise for that.

You can really see on bellas face how good of an actor she really is, that look she had after Henry shot himself was just 😫. This is definitely one of those key moments in Ellie’s life that lets her know how fucked life can be and again Bella just knocked it out of the park with her reactions. With Joel he’s had 20 years of this kind of stuff but obviously with Ellie it’s different, we have to go through all these firsts alongside her. Ellie’s “I’m sorry” was just gut punching and now we can see that those close ups of joel which we’ve been seeing in the trailers for the last few months was his reaction to reading that and looking down on their graves. I can’t believe the whole time that’s what he was looking at 😢

Honourable mentions:

That little clicker girl!!! She was so freaky!!!

Ellie being cocky knowing that Joel will change his mind later and let Henry and Sam come with them to Wyoming

Sam and Ellie’s love of savage starlight and them signing “endure and survive” 🥹🥹

despite not verbally speaking, Sam and Ellie still have the ability to communicate with each other

They cast Henry and Sam perfectly

Bloater!!!!

Joel’s determination to keep infected away from Ellie while he was sniping was making me sweat

Ellie being badass and saving Henry and Sam, also Henry saving Ellie in the smoke 🔥

DANNY AND ISH!!!!😫

Henry’s look on his face when he hears his little brother laugh 😭

“He’s not my dad” “I’m not her dad”

I thinks sams superhero mask deserves a shoutout too

it’s also cool how they made Henry and Sam actively seek out Joel and Ellie compared to how they meet in the game

[darklordofthesimp]

König realizing he loves birdy must have been a bittersweet hell, I mean- just coming to really care for her (not just trying to make it up to her, but actually really wanting to be her friend and have her reciprocate) must have been stressful enough considering she hates his guts and wants nothing to do with him, but love? Dear god. Torture, true torture for him after all that. I’m sure he feels guilty enough about how his mere presence stresses her out to begin with, realizing that he’s fallen for her must seem like the most selfish thing he could possibly have done. Love is stressful and complicated under moderately good conditions, much less- *gestures wildly at their whole situation* -This. How does one begin to unravel their feelings and attempt to communicate how much they care when they completely destroyed any implicate trust and friendliness in one rather Gory meeting? What do you do when your first impression was maiming them beyond recognition and almost killing them? How do you backtrack from that when they still hate you, and even more painfully, still have nightmares and flashbacks of you to freshly remind them anytime they begin to forget? The searing pain of her flinching everytime he so much as moves too quickly, of seeing her emerge in the morning with puffy bloodshot eyes glaring at him, knowing she spent another night with him as her personal boogeyman and there’s nothing he can do about it. That she won’t let him comfort her because she’s still afraid of him, afraid that he’ll hurt her, and he can’t claim that he would never- she would spit back that he already has, and she would be right. I wonder if it would be a slow sinking realization and acceptance of his fate, or if it’d be a sudden and violent sledgehammer to the heart that sends him spiraling into a panic attack once he finally finds the words for the extra spark he’d been feeling towards her lately. Each one is a special kind of pain anyhow.

Can I just point out that this was beautifully written and I was FEELING SOME SAD SHIT READING THIS. Just this crumb that you've offered has more talent than every ounce of brain power it takes for me to put out a fic I stg.

I think König would genuinely feel like a bad fucking person. He knows it was an accident but to fall in love with the person whose life you ruined?

He thinks there's definitely a special place in Hell reserved just for him- and not for the war crimes.

I can see him definitely heaved over in his room, eyes wide as he tries to regulate his breathing. It's like he's been fucking sucker punched, it's as if someone had hit him with a freight train.

He wishes he had never met you.

You would have been safe from him and he wouldn't be fucking haunted by you. His every waking moment you're on his mind.

He's never felt such an overwhelming sense of emotional turmoil.

If he ever let's himself imagine you feeling the same way back, a fantasy he keeps as he falls asleep- he reminds himself that he's fucking disgusting for even insinuating it.

Loving Birdy means hating himself.

He wishes he had never met her.

[paalove]

could you maybe write something little about insecure akk? a new friend of aye is obviously interested in aye and he doesn't notice and Akk is not good at communicating that he is jealous/insecurities and gets a bit weird around aye. And Ayan is scared because he notices something is up but not what

sorry this took Eight Million Years i had a bit of an incident. im back now though!!

also on ao3

The enemy is an older student.

Akk doesn’t know exactly what this guy studies – it doesn’t matter what this guy studies – he’s one of the seniors who organises what Aye’s been calling “gay club stuff” but which is not, in fact, a university-endorsed club. He’s not going to- like, it doesn’t matter, that it’s not official, it’s just that it makes him kind of worried that things are secret-

“You’re jealous,” Kan points out.

Akk rolls his eyes at the phone and says, “Yeah, I know, but I can’t-“

“Tell your boyfriend you’re jealous of his new friend? Why not?”

Because that would be.

Well.

“Well,” Akk says, and then hangs up.

If he wanted advice he intended to follow he’d call, like, Wat, who would probably call their former teacher who actually does give good advice, so he doesn’t feel guilty or anything for just hanging up.

He does feel kind of pathetic for being this worried.

It’s Aye, Aye’s not actually going to do anything behind his back, but.

But.

That doesn’t necessarily mean Aye doesn’t like this guy. At least a little.

…

He’s got his phone held between his ear and his shoulder, because Akk just got all the textbooks he needs to switch to the education faculty and his hands are kind of full, and on the other end his dad’s saying, “Your mother held the stepladder,” just as Akk uses his elbow to open the – thankfully unlocked – door to the room and tries to decide if he should ask his dad to stop trying to fix the roof until Akk can visit, he hears a voice he doesn’t recognise from inside his room.

“Eighty might be too many,” the strange voice laughs.

Giggling, Akk’s boyfriend says, “The last twenty are for me.”

The stranger and Aye are cracking up when Akk shoulders his way through the door.

The stranger is probably Akk’s height, he thinks, from comparison to Aye. The stranger is smiling down at Aye, after all, and Aye is smiling up at him, and they aren’t standing super close or anything but as Akk watches, Aye mimes a punch to the stranger’s shoulder and Akk’s gut twists.

“Tell me if the roof gets worse, at least,” Akk says to his dad, just as the phone starts to slip from the loose hold and he adds, “Oh, fu- shoot.”

This summons Aye’s assistance – the stranger stands, startled, where he was, and when Aye has Akk’s phone and two of the new books, and Akk’s own burden is more reasonable, the stranger is still just looking at them.

Like Akk arriving is a surprise.

Or something. The guy looks rapidly between them, and there's a smile on his face that Akk looks at and can tell, he can tell it means something, and it means something about them because he keeps looking between them and Akk has no reason to panic, but.

The stranger is good-looking.

Akk guesses.

…

“Are you sure you won’t come with me?”

Aye looks really, really good – it’s definitely one of Akk’s tank tops on him, just slightly bigger and sitting more loosely over his arms than Aye’s own do, and it opens up on the sides of his waist to show smooth skin – and he’s doing a teasing pout, eyes sparkling.

Then Aye walks in closer and snaps his fingers in Akk’s face and says, “Hey,” laughter in his voice.

“Hey,” Akk replies, taking the opportunity to slip his hand onto Aye’s half-bare waist, “Why the snapping?”

“I asked you a question,” Aye pouts.

“Oh,” Akk nods. “Still not coming. I don’t like big parties.”

That’s an oversimplification, but it’s one Aye knows about, because it’s kind of a lot to say the whole big groups of people make me stressed sometimes and I don’t trust myself when student clubs are involved and also I love you but Wat and Kan aren’t here to shield me too, and of course the explanation Aye doesn’t know about which is the guy whose house this is makes me really worried because you smile when he calls and that one time you introduced us properly you watched his face more than mine-‘

So Aye makes a sympathetic-worried face and says, “As long as you’re sure,” and kisses Akk on the cheek once, then pouts dramatically.

Akk’s hand is still on Aye’s waist, so he strokes his thumb from side-to-side as he raises his eyebrows and says, “Don’t you need to be leaving?”

Pouting harder, Aye makes a whining noise and presents his cheek to Akk, who can only smile and obey. Aye’s cheek is smooth under Akk’s lips, always, but there’s a weird scent today from his new moisturiser, and Akk’s trying really hard not to be weird about how they use different moisturisers now so he maybe lingers a little longer on the kiss than usual.

As he draws back, already preparing to feign confusion about the need to kiss Aye’s forehead, Aye says, “Oh, that’s bad,” and Akk doesn’t have anything like a heart attack before seeing that Aye’s looking at his phone. A text from P’Leo – Akk recognises the chat background.

With a kiss, given on tiptoes, on the end of Akk’s nose, Aye flees.

Before getting his forehead kiss.

It shouldn’t feel apocalyptic, they don’t do the kiss routine literally every time they say goodbye or anything, it’s just-

Just-

Aye requested the cheek kiss. When he starts with that, they always do the rest, too.

Not always, Akk reminds himself with a deep breath. He had to go, things do come up, it’s not unprecedented, it’s fine. Even if Leo hasn’t been involved before.

Akk has papers to write.

He sits down and opens his laptop, because he has papers to write. Not to open insta, he has that on his phone.

There’s an open Facebook tab.

Weird.

He opens the word doc for the paper he’s working on.

It’s fine.

Akk’s okay at focusing, so even if he has Aye’s notifications on, for insta, and he keeps getting notifications of updates to Aye’s story that are normally just photos of mysterious rainbow items or blurred kitchen counters, that’s not going to get in the way of him doing his assignments.

Even if all the ones that have faces in them seem to have Leo in them.

It’s not like Leo’s ever alone, or even alone with Aye, and Akk is aware he’s being kind of crazy about this, he is, which is why he’s working on his paper and not getting distracted by his own completely irrational insecurities.

129 words.

Shut up, word doc.

He’s frowning at the outline taking shape on the page (square brackets to indicate the planned paragraphs, and some of them are blank because he knows he’ll need something between two points but he’s not so clear on what, but there are two actual sentences as well so he’s been productive, clearly) when his phone buzzes, again.

This buzzing keeps up – not one notification.

Akk’s getting a call.

Wat’s Friend, says his phone, because he changed it during some bickering last summer where Wat completely betrayed Akk and took Aye’s side, 12.13 AM.

“Aye?” he asks before he’s even fully swiped to answer.

“My favourite,” coos Aye, only semi-audible. “You answered. Cutest.”

He can feel himself flushing like he always does when Aye calls him cute, and even though nobody can possibly be looking at him he scowls at his phone and asks it, “What do you want?”

There’s a pause in which all Akk can hear is the faint hum of the party, some of which sounds like a nearby conversation not including Aye.

“I,” enunciates Aye in the pointed manner of the obviously-drunk, “Am not allowed to walk back alone. But Akk’s not here. So I need- Come get me, baby,” he breaks off, less deliberately, sounding like he’s pouting. “P’Leo says either you come and get me or I have to stay.”

Akk’s already shoving his feet into the nearest shoes by the time Aye gets to that line.

…

The house is smaller than Aye’s, back home, but it’s equally fancy and modern – busier, though, loud even through the closed door.

Akk wonders if P’Leo lives here alone.

It doesn’t matter – he’s got instructions to follow, and he ignores that closed front door entirely to circle around to a side entrance where-

Come on.

Aye is sitting on the doorstep, and so is Leo, and Aye is swaying like he might just fall onto Leo and start leaning on him, and Leo’s probably just waiting for that to happen so he can hold him up and say ‘Hey, Aye, why don’t you stay here anyway – your boyfriend isn’t here yet, after all,’ in his stupid sleeveless tank that looks too much like one of Akk’s and shouldn’t Leo be inside anyway? It’s his party, he should be hosting-

“Akk!” smiles Akk’s enemy, with dimples and everything, “You’re here!”

“Akk’s here!” cheers Aye, dropping his phone in celebration.

He doesn’t even notice.

The twisting annoyance-fear-worry recedes completely for just a moment, because Aye’s smiling at him so widely his eyes are almost closed and he’s doing the happy little headshake he does sometimes as Akk draws in closer.

Leo picks up Aye’s phone and hands it over him, to Akk, and just as the screen dims and locks Akk can see that it’s very clearly open on Akk’s own insta page, and Akk stops right in the middle of a sullen, “Thanks for taking care of-“

The pause might only be awkward for Akk.

Aye stands up with one hand held up to Akk to catch and the other, for balance, on top of Leo’s head.

He’s still doing the dimples thing.

The suspicion rises again.

“Thanks for taking care of him, P’Leo,” Akk says in a measured tone.

Aye makes a little noise to himself, and Akk pats him and draws him in against Akk’s side, because the balance is looking kind of precarious and also so he can put an arm around Aye’s waist and make eye contact with Leo.

Leo nods rapidly.

As Aye nuzzles into Akk’s neck, humming a tune to himself, Leo says, “I don’t think he realised the party juice was that strong,” sounding really sincere and sorry as the dimples finally fade.

“I made it,” Aye says to Akk’s neck, the words tickling.

Yeah, Akk bets he made it – it’s an official rule in the Suppalo group that Aye is only allowed to mix drinks for drinking games where the goal is to black out, because Aye doesn’t seem to believe in moderation. He isn’t, for all of that, actually even good at holding his drinks.

So, Akk hums in deep, sarcastic sympathy, “Mm. I bet you had at least four of them, to get this bad, right?”

Aye’s offended noise comes at the same time as Leo holds up a peace sign – two drinks, he’s saying.

That sounds right.

It’s also the most information Akk could need from Leo, so Akk turns around, slowly steering Aye back where he came.

He took Aye’s car here, of course, and it’s parked as close to the party as he could get, which means there isn’t at all enough distance to justify Leo jumping up and propping up Aye’s other side, but Akk isn’t drunk so he’s still got the inhibitions to know he shouldn’t actually tell Leo to get back to his own party, not when he’s being all helpful and standing on Aye’s other side, being Akk’s exact height like the enemy he clearly is.

At least it’s still Akk’s neck that Aye’s nuzzling.

He is, Akk would probably admit at gunpoint, useful in helping him pour Aye into the backseat. It’s good that he knows to get out of the way and let Akk do the buckling, too.

Still, Akk isn’t happy when he closes the door and turns around and Leo is standing there, looking all purposeful and dressed weirdly like Akk, his exact height but friendly and older and dimpled and able to be part of a secretive club that hasn’t ever nearly killed anyone and able to make Aye laugh.

His face might say as much, but Leo isn’t making eye contact.

“Hey,” Leo starts.

Then stops.

“So,” he adds.

Akk stands there.

After a moment, Leo adds, “I mean.”

This guy is even awkward in the same way as Akk, apparently. Still the enemy.

But the awkwardness is familiar from the inside, so Akk unbends enough to say, “He said you wouldn’t let him walk back alone. Thanks,” and he’s only a little bit stiff about it.

“Of course,” Leo smiles again, dimples returning, “We have to take care of the juniors!”

Then there’s another pause.

Music from Leo’s house competes with the sound of mosquitos and distant traffic, still pretty heavy on account of it being absurdly early for Aye to be this drunk; it doesn’t compete with either of them saying anything, as they stand there like a pair of mirrors.

Then Leo takes a deep breath and, in one breath, says, “Sorry-about-being-so-weird-about-meeting-you-guys-I-was-just-so-happy-to-meet-Aye-and-it’s-so-cool-to-meet-you-too-and-it’s-even-cooler-that-you-guys-are-actually-together-for-real-and-that-you-came-here-and-is-Wasuwat-still-making-other-movies-“

“-Huh?”

…

Apparently winning that award was an actual big deal. And the movie has fans.

And Leo – P’Leo, Akk guesses, if they aren’t actual enemies – is one of those fans. He thinks Akk and Ayan are cute together.

Akk does not feel cute.

He feels like a moron.

In the back of the car, Aye says, “Aaaaakk. Akk. Baby. Akk,” pout audible and devastating.

Akk rolls his eyes and watches the traffic lights.

“Akk,” whines Aye.

Laughing, feeling like he’s only as dumb as his own boyfriend, Akk says, “You can’t get your forehead kiss until we’ve parked.”

There’s another whine.

“It wasn’t me who ran off before you could get the kiss.”

“People were arriving at the party early,” Aye sulks, “I couldn’t leave P’Leo hosting alone, I promised to mix the drinks.”

Akk doesn’t think that’s going to be a problem in the future.

Because he’s a nice, caring boyfriend, he doesn’t even say that out loud. P’Leo’s right – he is cute with Aye.

“My kisses,” whines Aye.

[keyh0use]

Delicate

in honour of finishing delicate + the fic trailer + because I'm emotional + I don't actually know when I'll post either, have some headcannons from my SOA rafebarry fic that only I care about

☠︎︎ Rafe is the definition of institutionalized, needing structure and guidance to thrive.

☠︎︎ His time inside the prison wasn't wasted. Rafe learned many useful skills and bulked up considerably, he even attended therapy to learn how to control his temper and communicate in better ways, though there was still a lot of work to be done. Getting clean definitely helped.

☠︎︎ The Outer Banks didn't welcome Rafe home with open arms. The words cop killer stalked after him and haunted him late at night, remembering the blood and the gushing and the cries.

☠︎︎ Seeing Barry for the first time was a gut punch, waves of emotion the boy had spent years taming crashing over him. At least it looked like the situation fucked Barry up too, the older man immediately asking if Rafe had come to kill him.

☠︎︎ Tig was the one to take Rafe to pick out a motorcycle and give him some pointers on riding it. The two of them had a different relationship with eachother than with the rest of the club, Tig affectionately calling Rafe son instead of brother and always checking in on him.

☠︎︎ It seemed like wherever Rafe went, Barry happened to be.

☠︎︎ More often than not, Rafe would give in to Barry's invitations to hangout, both of them powering through the awkward conversations and shifty glances. Barry was trying to be like they were before, and Rafe wasn't sure if that was possible.

☠︎︎ Rafe knew Barry was trying, the boy just needed time.

☠︎︎ The Cameron family was in shambles and it hung over the patriarchs head like a target from the other snooty families in Kildare. Sure, Sarah had forgiven their father enough to keep in touch and Wheezie picked up the phone every so often, but it wasn't enough. Of course it wasn't. Nothing was unless it was exactly how Ward wanted it to be, which means Rafe flat out ignoring him just wouldn't do.

☠︎︎ As things start to heat up between the SONS and a rival MC, Jax decides they need extra help to maintain their front. Who better to hire to run the garage than a freelance mechanic who's already old friends with a patched member?

☠︎︎ Rafe just about melts into a puddle when he rolls into the lot to find Barry elbows deep in the guts of a Harley.

☠︎︎ Hating Rafe has brought the pogues back together, more determined than ever to foil his schemes like he's some sort of super villain. The accusations never end.

☠︎︎ Rafe keeps Barry's betrayal from the club, knowing what happens to a rat.

☠︎︎ A can of spilt paint is what finally sends Rafe stumbling over the edge of his finely drawn sanity. Red spreads across the pavement like the mess of sludge from Opie's brain matter that night in solitary after the brutal bludgeoning and Rafe has to empty the contents of his stomach into a bush outside the trailer. The flood gates open when Barry tries to comfort the boy, screams of anger spewing out with Rafe's dinner to fall around them, infecting their newfound sorta friendship. But Barry doesn't lose his cool, instead fighting Rafe until they can embrace. It's that very same night Rafe decides to open up and recount all the gory details of his sentence with a very compassionate, very apologetic Barry.

☠︎︎ Rafe has never admitted what he is out loud in fear of repercussions, once from his father and now from the club, unsure where he would stand. But Tig figures it out the first time he watches Barry and Rafe interact, the way they share inside jokes and shove eachother playfully and sneak lingering touches.

☠︎︎ Tig knows—Tig knows and he doesn't beat the shit out of Rafe like Ward has so many times. Tig knows Rafe is gay and all he does is press a kiss to the boy's forehead and pull him into a comforting embrace before the tears even have a chance to start leaking out.

☠︎︎ Time is filled with violent days followed closely by peaceful nights with Barry by his side, feeling content even as tensions between MC's grow and Ward tries again and again to force his way.

☠︎︎ Rafe confided in Tig that he wasn't sure if Barry was into him, let alone boys.

"He's at least half gay," Tig tells Rafe while peeking out from behind a curtain to watch Barry work. "Yup, I can see it in the way he wipes his hands with that rag."

It's ridiculous but makes Rafe laugh, feeling a little lighter at having someone to talk to.

☠︎︎ Meeting the Reaper for the second time in his short life has Rafe making the bold decision to come clean to Barry about his feelings, convinced he's not going to get lucky twice as the infection from the bullet wound spreads.

☠︎︎ Rafe doesn't have a moment to himself in the stark white hospital room, sterile environment feeling warm and safe in the company of his brothers, and Barry.

☠︎︎ Rafe and Barrys first kiss is bloody and violent, split lips and possessive hands.

☠︎︎ Being with Barry is the sunlight Rafe's been missing since he was eighteen and convicted of murder one. All those years he spent imagining what it would be like sinking toes into warm sand and feeling salt water on his skin that came from a source other than his own bloodshot eyes...only to come back and feel nothing. The OBX provided him no comfort, no happiness...but Barry snuck in and lit him up, kept him full of hope and want and potential.

☠︎︎ Taking his place on the older man's lap, Rafe patiently watches Barry sew his Men of Mayhem patch onto his cut—awarded to those who kill in the clubs name.

☠︎︎ Rafe would commit horrendous, rotten acts and return to Barry in the aftermath, violet knuckles kissed and every scar worshipped, before the older man would bury somewhere deep in him and ease away the last traces of guilt with each thrust.

☠︎︎ Tig confessing to the club he's been dating the call-girl the club did business with, who happens to be a trans woman, makes Rafe feel safe enough to disclose his own relationship.

☠︎︎ Later, when Jax and Rafe have a moment alone the boy is pulled into a full body hug, a rough hand on the back of his head caressing affectionately. "I love you, brother," Jax says softly, just like he has a hundred times before.

☠︎︎ Rafe is happy. There are internal issues with the club and with his family, still, but it's okay because things have been looking up. Besides, his relationship is perfect.

☠︎︎ As Ward's efforts grow desperate, his motives starting to present themselves.

☠︎︎ "This life...it ain't romantic or free. There's no path to anything that makes any sense. It's just dirty and sad, and we both know it's only going to get worse."

___________________________________________

I decided to leave out the NSFW headcannons because it's a whole other thing, but I'll post it soon

[ecargmura]

Dog Signal Episode 18 Review - The Mangaka's Deaf Dog

After three weeks of emotional punches to the gut, this episode delivers another emotional one, but in a more light-hearted tone. This episode was so great. I was surprised that the client of the day managed to solve his issue on his own without consulting the trainers earlier. Despite that, it was a very compelling story of discovery.

Haruyuki is a struggling manga artist who moved to Tokyo to achieve his dreams. His first serialized story got cancelled after a while and he has been struggling to put out something new for a while now. His editor always tells him his stories lack emotions, which is shown from how withdrawn he is. His only companion is Chataro, his Shiba Inu who is the cutest thing ever with his dopey smile that can brighten anyone’s day. Haruyuki’s story is about how pets can change people and bring out the best in them; this is definitely shown when Haruyuki realizes that Chataro has become deaf and they both discover new things about each other and themselves as they both try to deal with this sudden change in lifestyle.

I love that Haruyuki imagines speech bubbles as if he’s thinking about what Chataro could be saying to him. It’s definitely showing the creative side in him—the hidden talent that is waiting to be discovered by himself. His main issue is that he’s socially awkward, so he’s not good with understanding emotions. Chataro is full of emotions and energy, which is why Haruyuki is so dedicated to his dog; I love the fact that he found his dog as a stray and he just followed him home one day. Chataro definitely just saw him and claimed him as his human. Later in the episode, the speech bubbles disappear because he is troubled over Chataro’s loss of hearing; not only that, he also notices the change in Chataro’s mood as he stopped smiling since his hearing loss.

Haruyuki is one of those rare dog owners in this show where he’s very kind and patient. He doesn’t try to force Chataro to do things he’s uncomfortable with and tries his absolute best to communicate with him in other ways, eventually resorting to hand gestures and lip movement. Even when his dog bit him due to being startled, he doesn’t give up on him. I know for a fact that some dog owners would be super dramatic over the change in their dogs, but Haruyuki blames himself for troubling him and tries to imagine what his dog is feeling over his sudden silent world. The change manages to help bring him out of his shell as he learns the importances of emotions and manages to get serialized!

I think the most impressive thing about Haruyuki is that he doesn’t go to Proud Dog at first, but only went towards the end. He first met Miyu when he and Yuko were out on a walk with Tiara. When he saw Chataro, who doesn’t like being around other humans and dogs, Miyu gave his business card to Haruyuki, who then finds it in his pocket towards the end of the episode. I do like that even though he technically fixed his issue, he still went because he wants to know more about what he can do for Chataro. Seeing Niwa be impressed was a first! Though, I’m sure Haruyuki still need some consulting over Chataro’s minor issues like his habit of waiting for food and barking at other dogs, but that will most likely be done off-screen.

I’m always amazed by the choice of guest voice actors for this show. This episode has Miyu Irino and Junichi Suwabe as Haruyuki and Chataro’s speaking voice. If you’re a long time anime fan, you know these two are big names. I was legit shocked to hear that they casted these two. Miyu Irino did an excellent job with the reserved, gloomy side of Haruyuki and the loud, confident side in the second half. Since Miyu is voiced by Kensho Ono, seeing their characters interact felt like a Seraph of the End (where they played the leads) and A Silent Voice (where Irino played the MC and Ono played the best friend with green curly hair) reunion! Heck, the scene at Proud Dog with Niwa, Miyu and Haruyuki is basically just a Seraph of the End reunion as Niwa’s voice actor Suzumura voiced Crowley. Most of all, I did NOT expect Suwabe to be voicing the DOG. The way he used a cuter voice to voice him got my heart all fluttery. I wouldn’t mind watching an entire anime with Suwabe voicing all the dogs. I love it when voice actors play a totally unexpected character.

What do you mean there are only two episodes left? What do you mean Dog Signal is going to end in two weeks? It’s going to be hard to part ways with this anime. It’s easily a hidden gem and a potential all-time favorite. The list of my absolute favorite animes doesn’t usually have much changes, but Dog Signal, a very underrated and obscure anime, could easily make a change in that list. What are your thoughts on this episode of Dog Signal?

[dogwittaablog]

I was never a nolpat fan (didn't hate him, he just wasn't one of the guys I was fannish about), and even I was... not devastated, but still felt something of a gut-punch when I read about what he said in these accounts. And it's not because I have some rosy view of hockey - I grew up around it, unfortunately I know all too well how toxic it can be. I try to go into fandom with the expectation that any player (including/especially the ones I admire) can do any of the myriad terrible things that are so common in this sport's culture, fall in step with the also terrible political views of the majority, would generally be a person I would not want to talk to irl. The gut-punch part for me I think comes from 1) plain old sadness/disappointment/horror at the reminder of how awful human beings can be, just, in general, because yes of course I know these people exist and see evidence of it all too often, and even if this was some rando on the internet those comments would be upsetting; and 2) that these comments hit me right in my sense of unfairness, that so much opportunity and privilege was given to someone so terrible. (Of course privilege isn't distributed based on goodness, but it's always infuriating to see shitty people get good things/no comeuppance for being shitty; sure, cosmic justice isn't a thing, but we sure wish it were.)

As many others have said, I do think it's important to understand the reality of this sport's culture and its myriad issues, and take steps back to make sure you're keeping that fiction/reality divide clear in your head, but as you pointed out, some people are new or have less experience with the realities of hockey for whatever reason, and even if they are, people will be upset by news of someone being a piece of shit because someone being a piece of shit is generally upsetting. I don't think it's productive to tear people down for simply not knowing how bad it was. Dismay and the misguided belief that someone being good-looking and talented and quiet correlates to their quality as a person aside, I have yet to see anybody digging in their heels and bending over backwards to defend him (like other anon(s) pointed out, the Kane fandom meltdown was... scarring, to say the least, and I have absolutely no patience for that, that is block on sight for me.) We're all in this fandom community together, do try to give people some grace to be upset, and maybe don't call them deranged or in need of professional help so readily.

(Which is to say, I agree with your stance!)

A little bit of a long read for some, but you broke down even more points and articulated parts I wish I could've come up with in some of my other anon responses.

I'm sure you're specifically talking about P.Kane (There is so many genuine problematic fucks in the league with the last name Kane, ironically). Though don't even get me started on that because I remember hearing stories about P.Kane through my brother even when I was 12 and seeing media gradually expose his problematic behaviours as well over time too. I am truly convinced anyone who's a fan of his new or old, just obsess over how hot he was in his early 20's and that's all they see when they think or hear of him, cause bro my man went downhill after a point, so it's like what are you even liking about this dude, cause I know it's not even about how he plays hockey LMAO... He literally has an open track record that with a 10 second search you can find everything problematic he's done the past decade, heck you even got grown men even saying fuck that dude too. His fangirls are definitely what I'd consider concerning.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Somehow, even though I haven't watched in years - and am 0% tempted to tonight - I've still got this tiny sliver of anxiety about the ending of The Blacklist. Is that crazy? It's like I know they can't possibly wrap up the story in a way I'll be happy or satisfied with (and after the 8th season I mostly gave up caring about what happens in "canon")...and yet I'm sure when I hear about what happened in the finale it's going to feel like one last, poorly written gut punch.

How are you feeling about tonight?

Hiya, anon ❤️ Ugh, can I just say that you summed up my tangle of feelings absolutely perfectly? 🥺 More specifically, no, that is not crazy at all. I am in the same place as you with not caring about any of it anymore - not since 8.22 ripped my fucking heart out - & I literally can't think of anything I'd like to do less than watch the series finale. But even in the years since 8.22, there was still that awareness that the show was still out there somewhere, even if I only heard drips & drabs, & I scoffed at it all, & I didn't give a tiny rat's ass what happened. And while that remains true, the fact that it's OFFICIALLY ending (despite the fact that it ended for us two years ago) is... a little sobering. For me, I think it's a reminder of the pain & grief of The Terrible Awful™️ 😓

Also, yes, anon, I completely understand the sliver of anxiety & dread... I felt the same thing when I heard that they were finally blessedly cancelled & again when I realized the last ep was coming up... I can only speak for myself, but I think it's bc I still care at least a little about Red &, deep down, I still want a happy ending for him, even though I fully believe he can't have one without Liz. But I have zero faith in TPTB & I'm sure they will make it a nebulous, "cool" ending with no real answers, like always, or they'll confirm godforsaken R*darina, or they'll just kill off Red because they're incapable of writing anything else. And I'm sure every other aspect of it will be disappointing, like Ressler being the hero or something (LMFAO) & it will be awful all around. I have no other expectations & I suppose I have to either accept it and/or ignore whatever happens AND/OR consider it all a crap AU & Lizzington as our canon. But the way you describe it, "one last, poorly written gut punch", perfectly describes how I feel. I tell myself that none of it matters anymore - it's not like we're getting a Lizzington ending lolz - but I think I'm just afraid of being hurt again bc, for all my posturing, I know TPTB still have the power to do that, simply bc I still care just a tiny bit. Despite all the heartbreak I've already felt... a little remains of the show, the characters, & my heart for them to destroy 💔

Idk if that made any sense at all, anon, but I hope I communicated at least 3 things: 1) you're not alone in the way you feel, 2) the ending will probably hurt & ache & betray in just the way we're afraid of, & 3) we simply have to deal with the residual hurt, know that TPTB failed us & it's not our fault, &... cherish what we had by holding our Lizzington AU close to our hearts & keeping them alive through fanfic... at least, that's what I plan on doing. So, feel free to drop another ask if you want to talk more, anon, I would certainly love to commiserate & work through our feelings together tbh, & btw I'm very flattered you came to my ask box with this & wanted to know how I feel, thank you for being so sweet. In the meantime, hang in there, anon, you're definitely not alone, & much love to you, my friend ❤️

[notlycheesden]

Rearview Mirror

Heyyo ✌🏻 this is my first written piece for Endeavor , as a gift for my friend @kogo for the evil exchange. so I hope you like it my dude 👍🏻. A piece I will def be coming back to write more for sure.

⤍ Endeavour x reader

⤍ 3.6k

⤍ TW.incest, TW.dubcon, TW.father/daughter

⤍ Summary:

Enji was trying to be a better father, a better man.

And you never lied to him.

Guess it was a time for a lot of firsts.

Everything was always red between the both of you.

It's past four when his phone rings.

He was awake. even on his day off -those becoming more frequent now- years of routine were still strong. His body alert and aware way before the break of dawn for hours of training before patrol, and later to go to his own agency, the literal empire that wouldn't run itself.

He was pretending to be asleep, unmovable laying on his stomach, face buried on his pillow. Deep breaths in and out in a rhythmic pattern. His massive frame takes most of his king-size bed that for more than a decade he slept right in the middle, no reason to let the right side of it unoccupied.

It was almost meditation-like. There in the quiet and calm of his bedroom between his sheets, he could organize -or at least try- his thoughts. A time in his day where he gets lost in self-reflection. The things he would have to do that day, what work in his agency he would have to supervise, and even stubbornly he would do a little steaming out, analyzing his “actions and emotions”, passing commentary from the resident agency therapist threw his way.

“A strict but good man, if not for some, mishaps, from your intense and fiery nature.” was his professional opinion about Endeavor. The man really lived to throw things his way.

It used to help calm his turbulent mind. But lately there was nothing in his head but turmoil.

It was something he would do until 6 AM, when he couldn't take any longer and had to get up, body and muscles aching from staying in bed for too long, the sun already rising on the horizon, painting the sky with yellows, pinks, and reds.

The silence of his room is broken by the ring of his phone. Instead of the familiar tone of the morning alarm, it was his normal ringtone. When he opens his eyes, the room was not bright as he expects, still shrouded by darkness. Endeavor sits on his bed at once, alert.

Getting it from the bedside table quickly, his posture falls when he catches the time and the already saved contact of who was calling him: Natsuo.

Enji picks up, but before he could question the call, the time, or even say hello, Natsuo speaks, voice grave and serious.

“You need to pick up your daughter right now.”

It’s a punch to the gut. One that makes all the air from his lungs escape at once. In a second, he feels like he is thrown into a rollercoaster.

The only thing he can muster in his shock is a guttural and deep bark of incredulity “What?”

Natsuo cuts Enji off immediately. His tone triggering him into snapping, memories hushing in -not the time for this- “She just called. She was a crying mess, begged me to come for her but I live two hours away-Shouto is on patrol and not picking up and Fuyumi is with her fiance's family at the onsen-”

Enji inhales sharply. Dread takes hold of him while he can't even see straight with the sudden rush of adrenaline, sirens blasting off in his head.

“She was supposed to be with fuyumi at the onsen.” His voice echoes back at him in his bedroom walls, he doesn't realize he is shouting.

“Look, this is really not the time. She has no money and her phone’s dead. I was able to get her to tell me an address before the call dropped. she's all alone there. Are you gonna pick her up?”

Natsuo calms his own breaths now after snapping and shouting back, and he can hear shuffling noises on his father’s side of the line. The older man was up in a second, not really seeing anything, rushing through his stuff picking his keys and wallet. He hates the way his father could make him snap so easily.

Enji was completely distraught.“She said she was going to be with fuyumi…” He mutters under his breath while running through the corridors, even forgetting the phone by his ear, his son still on the line.

But Natsuo hates even more the blatant difference in the way his father treated all of them and you in comparison. Always. Like he could fix his mistakes. Hide his sins.

“Well. Think your little princess lied to you old man.”

Enji didn't even register the venom in his son's words, nor when he hangs up on him.

He’s out of the house in a blink. He tries not to rip the door out of its hinges on his way out.

——

He drives fast, almost no other car in the streets making it easier to speed up in his nervous state. The GPS voice droning about the directions, a forty-minute drive that he would make in twenty.

you said you were going to spend the weekend with your sister.

You lied to him.

Enji’s heart hammers in his chest and his flames burst multiple times on his face out of control. His grip on the wheel tightens to ground his shaking hands, his jaw set with such force that he could feel a headache already forming.

Thoughts were flying through his mind a mile a second. Where are you? What happened to you? Who were you with? Were you safe? Why were you crying?

Why did you lie to him?

It was like his heart was being squeezed by dread and being broken at the same time.

You were his youngest. After he realized what he did to his children as a father, he tried his best to do better; connect, communicate, but he was emotionally and socially stunted -Thanks doc.- and by the time he tried to reach out, it was just a little too late.

Fuyumi was the pillar of the household, replacing their mother too much young and having to fit in a mould not meant to be hers, barely holding the treads of the family and house together. Natsuo was out of the front door as soon as he finished high school and got into med school, choosing to live in the dorms and work part-time rather than stay at the manor. Shoto was another history in itself.

And there was you, a couple of years younger than your now up-in-the-ranks pro hero brother, at the time just a pipsqueak. Too young to remember Rei, remember the worst of Endeavor.

And when he tried to connect, you were there. As if just waiting. Wanting your father to look at you. Frail and innocent and just in want of care, of attention, of love. You welcomed him into your life with open arms and heart.

Enji did try to make it right by you. And for some time things were progressing, even his other children were starting to turn their heads around his direction.

Until Touya’s incident.

The media cracked down on him and his family with a vengeance, almost nothing was left unturned or whole.

Natsuo was the first to cut ties. Shouto threw himself into his hero work, completely closing himself off. Even Fuyumi decided that she was done, took the next step, and went to live with her now fiance, completely ignoring whatever Enji tried to shout about costumes or honor.

Then it was just the two of you.

He tried to be a good father.

He was a quiet man in his private life, strict and with a violent nature, but he reached out for outside help to make it right. An older and trustworthy housekeeper to not chain his daughter down at the manor, guidance from therapist to help him become a better father, a better man, anything to do right this time.

Call it atonement, call it his redemption, call it hypocrisy, he didn't care.

He only cares that at the end of the day, you were there at his side, happy.

This morning he saw the note on the fridge.

Going to onee-san family trip,

Be back on Sunday.

You never had lied to him before.

Guess it was a time for a lot of firsts.

——-

The music blasting through the night tipped him off even before his car's GPS tells him he arrived at the destined location.

He parks way down the street and assesses the place inside the darkness of his car.

Enji’s way out of the city now and inside the industrial district, the building seems old and falling to pieces, people are lingering all around the street, but it’s thicker there. At surface level the building was empty, but the music was definitely coming from there.

He dreads the worst.

Getting out of the car still in his sleeping sweatpants and tee, he throws the hood of his workout jacket over his hair to conceal himself. He’s going for discretion, get you and get out, no need to make this a public affair. Not with this, not with you, not right now.

He searches around but still can't find you. Half an hour has passed since Natsuo called. He's in a frenzy. Endeavor forces himself to calm down and think.

His son didn't mention music. He looks far into the street and he can see the entrance of an alleyway, he hushes there.

His stomach tied in knots when he sees in the dark your small figure crouched down beside a dumpster. your shoulders ate shaking with silent sobs holding your dead phone for dear life, trying to make yourself smaller than you already were, head down.

Enji barks your name and your head snaps to the entrance of the alleyway in shock, your body trembling and fat tears running down your smudged makeup.

“Daddy!”

In a second you were up and running, throwing your body against him and hugging his middle. He doesn't know what to do first, but he opts for following his instincts. Enji hugs your shaking form, shushing you lightly while petting your head. He doesn't know if it's him or you who's shaking more.

He doesn't remember how, but he manages to walk both of you to his car without being seen, his hulking form covering your smaller one.

He's shaking. When Enji puts you in the passenger seat and the car lights momentarily shine everything in an amber glow, rage fills his chest. You are in a dress he has never seen before, he knows it was not yours. He would never allow a thing like that or let you use it in public. Your makeup that before being ruined by your smudging and crying, was heavy and meant to seduce.

He closes your door and gets in the car.

He's shaking.

——

Enji can only control himself enough to not rip the wheel or step on the gas right through the flooring for only three blocks. and thank the gods again for the hour, because he could not quite see the streets in front of him. If they weren't deserted while he drives double the velocity permitted, it would be likely that the fears of his family being again under the cruel and ravenous judgment of the public eye would become reality, although for a completely different reason from the ones he has been dreading until this point.

When he reaches the fourth block, he makes a sudden stop, turning and parking harshly with the front of the car almost all the way over the curb, the tires skidding loudly into the quiet of the night and scaring you out of your still shell shock state. your small sniffles stop when you let out a muted yelp of surprise.

Enji quickly pries his hands that have a death grip on the wheel and smash the roof of the car to turn the lights on in such a way that later he’s impressed he didn't send the entire ceiling flying. As fast as he did that and the darkness of the car is now cast in warm gold, his hands are on your small frame like a striking snake, a big calloused one gripping your face between meaty fingers, squeezing your wet cheeks and the other one in your far shoulder, turning you in his direction with a barely controlled yank. Enji wasn't sure if the shaking was coming from your body or his.

He's frantic, hectic, eyes going up and down your body trying to find anything, something. “Are you hurt? tell me,” His voice is harsh, too loud into the small space. You jump startled, but his grip locks you in place, he doesn't notice.

Why did you come to a party? Why are you dressed like this? Why did you do this?

“Are you?? Someone did something? Gave you something, touched you?” He barks again louder, bending and twisting to be in your face now, eyes scanning all over your body. But again and again, they would be drawn to the too short hem of your dress, from your ruined tearstained makeup and down again to your soft and creamy thighs, trying to find a mark, a scratch, a stain. Anything, something.

“Fucking answer me!”

“Dad please!”

Enji lets you go as if you just slap him in the face. He blinks.

You are shaking. Looking at him in fear, silent tears running down your cheeks. Your jaw is set as you try to hold your whimpers back, his fingers make red marks bloom on your face and arm under his digits.

Memories come back rushing. Phantoms scourging in blue flames.

He releases you as if you burn him.

His hands hover in place, and he doesn't dare to move, still crowding you. Both of you staring at each other in fear and confusion as if something would break.

He slowly backs away, and you keep still. He turns the light off and stares at the road.

Enji couldn't take more things between both of you breaking.

He takes a deep breath. Starts the car again to drive back home.

——

Friday nights are your nights.

Enji doesn't really remember when it started. But he knows it wasn't something that was spoken of or agreed beforehand. It happened once, then twice, then his job got in the way, then thrice, and when he noticed, it was a routine between him and his daughter.

Like most things between both of you, it just… fell into place. And it just felt right.

Endeavor would arrange his schedule in a way so that his Fridays would be empty, any emergency at the agency could be easily solved that way, patrols and hero work set on the weekends so he could come home at a sensible hour, just by dinnertime.

He would be just taking his blazer and shoes off at the entrance when Enji would hear your running steps from the kitchen, your pinky apron-clad figure hushing to meet him with a bright smile, eyes shining.

you would get a hold of his tie and gently tug down for him to bend at the waist to your level, your arms were thrown in a warm hug on his neck and a sweet and lengthy kiss on his cheek after he steps through the threshold. you would giggle against his face from the tickles you got from his stubble while warmly welcoming him, the food still hot on the table.

It was one of your multiple habits together, just the two of you. And it felt right.

It was routine. And it felt so domestic, warm and right.

Friday nights are your nights. After he gets home, you guys have dinner, something you cooked by yourself, sending the older housemaid away earlier.

Sometimes it is a new recipe, sometimes something you already tried before. But it's always good, and when Enji compliments your cooking skills and how much he enjoys it, your cheeks blush red. You daintly try to hide your smile as you thank him, bashful behavior so alluring even when he knows is just a little act, playing coy. There's warmth in his chest.

The lights in the dining room cast everything in this whimsical warm glow and maybe it's the beer, but Enji thinks it reflects lovely on you and the color of your blouse today. He says so.

“Looking so pretty tonight, princess.”

The red on your cheeks grow stronger. From across the table, he hides his smirk behind his can at seeing how you fidget in place, trying to contain your coquettish smile while biting your plush bottom lip. The warmth spreads lower.

Only later it dawns on him. Enji was flirting with his own daughter. And it was a habit.

It was routine.

Enji is sprawled on the big sofa comfortably, already showered and in his sleeping clothes after dinner, the second movie of the night halfway through.

It was a period drama and he tries to pay attention to the main points for your quiz about it the next day, but he was mostly checked out, lulled by the comfy dark of the living room, the buzz of the beers he drank, sleep and your warm body draped over his.

He doesn't really remember when it started, but he knows it was gradually. One day in your Friday movie nights, he notices you were glued on his side, and on the next one you had an arm draped over his torso while both of you were laying on the reclining couch, and since then, you were always over him, arms and thighs and breasts glued to his body, but most of the time cutely laying on his chest.

That night was no different. You are laying on his broad chest, using your arm as leverage to look down and back at the tv in front of the sofa, and for you to not slip he has one big palm over your waist and the other in a secure hook on the slope of your knee, propping your bent leg higher across his stomach. Your breathing matches his, and if not by your little grunts and noises of surprise, the redhead would have thought you had fallen asleep on him. It would not be the first time.

The clothes you are using are small and had hiked up a long time ago, a loose tank top and booty shorts, both of them old and worn out, sleep clothes.

From where he was, he could see all your body over his. From the crown of your head to the slope of your waist as it dipped under his scarred hand. His gaze follows the curve of your thigh draped over his waist to the fat of your ass pointing high. He muses in a daze that he could see the inside of your tank top, the soft swell of a breast making an appearance. He leers.

You move a little, and this time, he can make out the shade of a nipple. It’s pert and small and pretty, and blood rushes to his clothed cock, but is late, and he's tired and buzzed out. It doesn’t connect in his mind.

You move. you are getting yourself higher on his chest. Enji feels small hands wandering under his shirt. Presses of lips on his neck. Wet kisses on the stubble on his jaw.

The soft touches pull him deeper. There's a young and wanton body over his. It’s been so long since he truly touched another, let himself be touched. Smooth lips and an uncertain tongue were kissing him, and he wants to devour them. It’s hot and burns and makes his insides coil, his cock hard and heavy inside his pants. A warm slit humping it.

Could have been the tiredness, the beer, the comfort of the situation, anything really.

Enji kisses you like a man starved. Head moving and ravaging your much smaller mouth with his tongue. His hand yanks your tank top down exposing your breasts, and now he’s pulling and pinching the sweet nipples in a way that makes you moan against his tongue with a voice he couldn't recognize.

His other hand was down at your ass, guiding your movements back and forth on his erection with vigor, the friction against your slit makes you weak, but he keeps you moving, his calloused hand encompassing most of your behind. At each needy thrust his fingers would slide down between the cleft of your ass more and more.

His meaty fingers push the bottons of your shorts aside with a flick of his wrist, and now he's touching directly your puffy lips that are messy and wet all over. Enji growls in your mouth as you moan louder when he starts playing with your pussy, a pitched whine as he flicks your clit up and down, a strong hold on your breast.

A loud bang from the TV is what snaps him back to reality.

It was his daughter.

His daughter was over him. It was his daughter that was humping his cock, that he was sucking her small tongue and tweaking her nipples until he made her squeal.

He jumps to his feet and throws you across the couch.

Different from him, you look wide awake. Flushed face and startled eyes stares up at him, exposed breasts still heaving. Nipples rosy and hard. Between your legs, a glistening trail of where his fingers dragged when he ripped them off of you. Your shorts are drenched.

There's a moment of silence.

Enji snaps. He sprints to his bedroom, leaving you alone in the living room.

He locks his door, drops to the floor, and whips his hard and heavy cock out. in three pumps, thick ropes of cum cover his hand and clothed middle.

Taking big gulps of air trying to calm his breathing, his eyes glancing everywhere in a panic state, he looks down, and spot the wet patch on his clothed thigh. Yours juices that leaked on him. Its still in his other hand, fingers wet.

Enji wants to cry.

He tried to be a good father.

He ruined it again.

[viacursecasting]

Sonadow Scenario #53

{ Requested by @premingeracdc }

"This town is so small I'm fairly certain we've all breathed each other's air at some point."

Rouge's laugh emitted from the agent’s communicator as he waited in line at the grocery store. "Hang tight for a few more days, hun. We just want to check every nook and cranny."

I highly doubt we'll find him here, Shadow wanted to say, but there was no point in complaining...

Deep down, he had already mourned the loss of the hero, who had sacrificed himself to save Shadow after defeating the Finalhazard.

He suppressed the memories of his late partner's breathtaking super form before addressing the bat. "I understand."

After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Shadow set his items on the conveyor belt, scanning his shopping list to make sure he got everything he needed. He mumbled to himself, "Damn it, I forgot bread..."

"Want me to grab a loaf for you?"

Shadow huffed, looking up from his list. "What makes you think you're fast enough to—"

He froze.

It was... No... It couldn't be—

"Sonic...?"

"Ah, actually it's Stanley," the blue hedgehog corrected as he pointed to his name tag.

Shadow furrowed his brow. "Don't you... recognize me?"

"'Fraid not." Sonic then said with a wink, "I think I would've remembered someone as handsome as you."

Shadow turned rosy before shaking his head. "Sonic, this is no time for games! Everyone's been searching for you—!"

"Whoa, Hot Stuff," Sonic said, hands up in surrender. "I think you have me confused with someone else."

Shadow crossed his arms. "Then grab that loaf of bread for me. Whole wheat."

Sonic was gone and back in a streak of azure, grinning widely as he presented the loaf like he pulled a rabbit out of a hat. "Ta-da~!"

Shadow slapped the bread out of his hand. "It is you, you dumbass!"

A customer behind him piqued up. "Hey, you're holding up the—"

Shadow shot them a seething glare. They scrambled back to their cart to retreat to another lane.

Shadow then returned his gaze to the hedgehog. "You and I need to talk."

Sonic chuckled as he finished ringing him up. "Believe it or not, this isn't the craziest way I've been asked out..."

~

As Shadow made his way to the restaurant, he thought about disclosing their past relationship, but decided against it. If Sonic truly lost his memory, it was probably best not to overwhelm him.

Shadow was surprised to find Sonic—ah, Stanley already seated at the table for two. The blue hedgehog waved him over excitedly.

Shadow hesitantly took a seat. "You're early." For once...

The hedgehog thought nothing of it, showcasing the menu with enthusiasm. "They have my favorite Italian dish here!"

"I know. Spaghetti—"

"Ravioli!"

The night seemed to be filled with double takes for Shadow. When he thought Sonic would say soup, he said salad. Water instead of soda. No cheese instead of extra.

As they waited for their meals to arrive, Shadow asked him about subjects that were typical for a first date.

"Favorite movie genre?"

"I mostly watch documentaries."

"Favorite hobby?"

"Knitting is my go-to."

"Cats or dogs?"

"Dogs, definitely."

That felt like a punch in the gut to Shadow.

He started to question himself. Maybe he didn't know his partner as well as he thought he did? But that couldn't be the case. He knew every detail. He knew his favorite flower. His favorite type of music. His favorite scent. Maybe this guy was just a doppelganger? But that couldn't be the case either, for when he gazed at the hedgehog...

He knew how he got each and every battle scar.

Their meals came, but the agent didn't even reach for his fork. Sonic regarded him with concern. "Are you okay, Shade?"

"It's Shadow," the lifeform corrected. "You don't even remember my fucking name," he muttered, more annoyed at the circumstances rather than Sonic.

But it didn’t make a difference to Sonic—Stanley. "Well, excuse me," he retorted. "It's not like you've been calling me the wrong name all night.

Shadow slammed his fist on the table, jostling silverware and making other patrons turn their heads. "That's because Sonic is your real name!" he yelled. "You're the one who's saved the world countless times, the one who’s always there for his friends! You're the one I fell in—!"

He stopped himself; he didn't know when he rose from his chair. He slowly sat back down, staring at his spaghetti. He suddenly had no appetite.

But Sonic/Stanley stared at him wide-eyed. "Shadow, were you and I...?"

The lifeform averted his gaze, trying not to let his tears spill.

Stanley/Sonic took that as a yes. "Oh," he uttered, slightly tinting. "Now I get why you're so riled up."

When a moment of silence passed, Stanley spoke. "Just out of curiosity, what was it about... Sonic... that you loved?"

Shadow let out a shaky breath. "I loved... everything about him. I loved his yearning for adventure. I loved the way his eyes lit up when talking about the latest video game, the way he laughed at his own stupid jokes." He flexed his fingers. "I loved the way his hand felt in mine.

"People say I'm the Ultimate Lifeform, but Sonic... was the ultimate life."

Stanley breathed in awe. "That's very poetic."

It seemed that there was nothing else to confess. But Shadow just wanted to try one last thing.

"I know this is very forward," he asked, "but... may I kiss you?"

Stanley blushed. "S-Sure."

Shadow leaned across the table, stroking a lock of the hedgehog's quills back, before pressing tan lips against peach ones. He started slow before moving deeply, passionately. While Stanley wasn't a bad kisser, he wasn't in the same rhythm, didn't reciprocate as strongly.

It just wasn't the same.

Shadow broke away, finding rivers flowing from emerald eyes. He spoke as if sharing a secret. "Why are you crying?"

Stanley sniffled. "I'm sorry I'm n-not... I wish I-I could..." He gave up. How could he explain that he felt like he stole a kiss meant for someone else?

Shadow seemed to understand, though, wiping the hedgehog's flushed muzzle with his thumb. "It's alright. You're not at fault."

Then he stood. "If you don't mind, I'm going to take care of the bill, then head home." After receiving a nod, he left soon after. He wanted to cry in peace...

To mourn a second time.

~

Shadow waited on a bench at the subway station, face buried in his hands.

"Aren't you afraid of missing your ride?"

Shadow recognized the speaker without looking up. "I'm not in the mood, Knuckles."

The echidna crossed his arms. "Well, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

Shadow sighed, muttering, "I found him."

Knuckles' eyes widened. "Him!? As in—"

"Yes, but it's not him!" Shadow cried. "Not really..."

Knuckles crinkled his brow. "You're not making any sense—"

Suddenly they heard a call in the distance. "...adow? Shadow!"

Shadow stood eagerly—a hard habit to break when it came to this particular voice. He called, "Yes?"

Stanley waved at him, running over with a take-home bag. "Hey, Shads. I'm glad I caught you. You forgot your—"

"Sonic, you imbecile!" Knuckles intervened as he shoved Stanley’s arm, though tears were welling in his violet eyes. "We... We thought you were dead!"

Stanley rubbed his arm, letting out a nervous chuckle. "You must be Shadow's friend?" he surmised.

"'Friend' is a bit generous," Shadow stated as he took the bag.

Stanley laughed, a twinkly noise. Then he set his gaze on the agent. "Hey, before I go, there's something I wanna ask you."

Shadow's ears perked at attention.

"I've been thinking about everything you've said and... well..." He took the agent's hand in both of his. "I think I'd like to give us a chance. I-If you want," he quickly added.

Shadow froze. Did he hear him correctly? Being with Sonic again was the only thing he had ever wanted.

He tightened his grip. "I..."

.

.

.

Sigh. Damn it...

"...I can't."

"What?" the other two said in unison.

"I'm sorry, Stanley," Shadow explained, "but truth be told, I would spend the rest of our relationship trying to turn you into the person I used to know. And that's not fair." He released his hold as the echidna continued to stare in disbelief. "You were given a fresh start. I think you should take it."

Stanley's features fell, though he tried not to show it. "Ah, I understand." Then he added, "Maybe you can visit if you ever get the chance?"

Shadow gave a small smile. "I think I'd like that."

~

Two years passed and Shadow found himself in that grocery store once again. He remembered the bread this time.

"I'm just making a pit stop," Shadow said to his wrist communicator as he waited in line, "then I'm heading straight home."

"Good," a magenta chameleon responded. "I can't wait to see you."

Shadow tinted slightly. "And I you."

They logged off after saying their farewells. Just then a familiar voice made him raise his head: "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

The hedgehogs locked gazes. Stanley's eyes were as lively as ever, his grin as wide as ever. The smile was contagious.

"Yes," Shadow replied. "I did."

[princessamericachavez]

Okay here’s my Stranger Thing theory while there’s still time for it

A) I don’t think Steve nor Robin will die despite the Trailer scaring us all shitless

B) I think we WILL lose someone and I think it MIGHT be Mike

So okay hear me out:

A. Listen, I’m not delusional but I’m pretty sure he’s safe here.

1. There’s been too many “Steve dies” red flags. A few, i would get it, but at this point they might as well be waving it in front of our faces and I think it’s too obvious. If they were planing on killing Steve Harrington they would want it to be an unexpected gut punch that shocks the audience and rocks the fandom and online community. But they are already getting that with the month-long scare. At this point, if they were really planing on doing it, putting Robin’s line on the trailer would be too big a spoiler.

2. (Also I’m pretty sure the way that scene is edited in the trailer it’s missing some context or in disorder and also they are filling things with gasoline and I think Robin talks about fire and weapons not being enough against Vecna…)

3. So at this point I’m willing to call bullshit. These are all red herrings designed to have us all exactly like we are right now: freaking out and distracted from the characters that are actually at risk.

4. There’s the backstage photos of the cast with another set of outfits and it looks to be post-final fight. Someone already made a great post about that. But yeah basically Steve is there and I think he’s going to be ok for now

5. Even if the writers wanted to off him I’m pretty sure the producers would riot because they KNOW he’s too beloved by everyone and that the fandom would riot. If they didn’t entirely kill El nor Hopper, no way they are killing fan-favorite Steve.

6. They’ve built his connections to other characters so much and it would be a waste of potential to kill him right now when clearly so much of his story and posible future are still taking shape.

Ok now

B. Okay hear me out, I think we are definitely going to lose Mike. I don’t think he will die-die, though, I think he might get stuck in the upside down. Why?

1. It would heavily impact most groups. Eleven and Will obviously but also the Party and the Teens and Nance so fucking much and also we know Karen is in the season’s marketing and I think she will find out about the upside down and join hopper and Joyce in their quest to save the kids and protect them.

2. The whole “I love you” thing is a classic arc. They are going to have Mike say it to El right before he does something stupid to save her and protect them all from Vecna.

3. Finn has been criminally underused this season and I think Vol.2 will be his time to shine and it would also give them a great way to exploit his acting in s5. He’s great and right now it feels like the writers are stuck with him and aren’t sure what to make out of him other than Eleven’s boyfriend. But he has been intensely involved with the upside down plot since s1, either by searching relentlessly for Will or for Eleven. It would make narrative sense to switch it around and put him in danger for once.

4. It would parallel the ending of s1 and we know they love their parallels…

5. It explain’s Will crying and hugging Jonathan in the trailer too.

6. Vecna wants revenge on Eleven and we have seen the Snow Ball things which I think are Vecna flashbacks and I think Vecna will use Mike to taunt El who thinks he doesn’t love her and then Mike comes in and saves her saying he does and then THEN Vecna’s revenge is taking that away from her. Because what could possibly hurt her worse than stealing the boy she loves from her right before her nose.

[sweetery-ko]

Hello!! May i request hcs for the 3 characters with an s/o who's like "don't touch me" when they're mad, tho even if they don't touch them, the reader will likely to pinch them (in a cute way) because of frustation and it happens almost everyday? Uhh yea hope you get it and thx you!

Could you tell my motivation went 📈📈📈 at Nagito's part? Also I'm not sure why I suddenly went with a different style for Izuru????? Brain is weirddd

CW: Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda, Izuru Kamukura, 1 mention of T/rut/ru H/nam/ra, self deprecation

Hajime, Nagito and Izuru with an S/O that won't let them touch them but pinches their cheeks if they don't touch either way

His temper isn't the best and most of his other peers are a handful to deal with so he definitely gets you losing your temper so quickly.

What he doesn't understand though, is that you get frustrated every single day, even without communicating with anyone you go out of your cottage with the most grumpiest (yet cutest) expression you could do.

He wanted to know if everything's alright. You always manage to cheer him up when he's upset so he should try it too right? He's not the greatest at comforting but he couldn't bear seeing you so moody anymore.

He was pretty shocked about you telling him off and want him gone, Even got pretty pissed when you say that you will not let him touch in an aggressive tone, like he's some sort of dog.

"Ugh, fine! I'll leave you alone then!" quoted Hajime as he was about to storm off.

But when you grabbed and pinch his checks softly, he went "(｀ー´)???" he was so confused on what's going on. Do you want him to touch you or not?

If you (manage to) explain it, he will be berfuddled. Even with the explanation, he hopes that you don't be too mean on him. His temper and patience is the worse out of all people in the list, after all.

Please, he begs you to tell reason why you're so frustrated as that's the real reason why he tried to confront you in the first place. Was it just your personality? Some sort of hassling work? Did Teruteru said something upsetting again? Just tell and he'll be more understanding.

It's gonna be a rather long time on getting for him to get used to your grumpy attitude but he's gonna try his best to not get caught off guard again and not embarrasses himself.

He would always wait outside your cottage so you both can walk together to the restaurant but this time it's not like the ordinary. Even if you're the type to be late, you're too late that it's suspicious and worrying.

He didn't want to bother you as he doesn't feel like he's worthy enough to ask you anything but he feels like that hearing grumbled noises of what is supposed to be from anger is... Hard to pass on as normal.

He would try to softly knock your door and ask if everything is ok. Depending on your answer, if you even said a word that is on an existing language no matter what it is, he couldn't help getting more worried each second passes. What if his luck is the reason you're like this?? No doubt about it. I am the trashiest--, he continues to deprecate himself.

He snapped out of his thoughts when you say open the door in a furious manner and glared at him. He felt very intimidated, would be shaking in his zipper shoes if you were taller than him.

"My hope, is everything alright?" he softly spoke as he touched your cheek but you slapped it away, causing him to flinch.

Nagito was very hurt by the action. He awkwardly rubbed the slapped hand to hide his sadness. "Of course you don't want to trash like me to touch you." he muttered as he was about to turn around until you stopped him.

When you pinched his cheeks to stop him from going away, he was shocked and confused but then smiled as he realized that it's not a painful pinch but a rather agressive yet still loving one.

"My hope..is there something wrong? It must be awful to touch scum like me." he asked as he unintentionally just, goes soft at your pinches no matter how hard you're pulling.

He would really want you to tell him your frustrations out as the last thing he wants is seeing you so upset all time, he would even let you pinch his reddening cheeks for stress relief too if it helps!

You were studying for an upcoming test and you were very left behind from your studies because there may or may not be an apocalypse that lasted for a year and now that everything is back to normal, so is the education so the sudden stressed university student life is really punching you in the gut for the past few weeks.

Izuru really loves spending time with you and without you around smiling and being yourself feels lonely and boring. He doesn’t want to experienced the feeling of what the scientists have done to him before so he's apparently now unintentionally has separation anxiety.

Fortunately, he's the ultimate hope and has enough intellect to educate you so he became your personal tutor but there is a problem however. Even if you're his partner, he's still not the best with taking care of other's feelings so...

When you're at your limit and yelled out your frustrations out of nowhere, he felt conflicted. He was right, you kept doing the same mistakes no matter how much he corrected but he felt really guilty for some odd reason, it's sickening and he wants it to stop.

"No, you're doing this wrong..", "I have thought you this already." You know, stuff like that. Of course, you being the normal human being with emotions, this will tick you off. You were so pissed and sad, you wanted him to comfort you but you get this instead? Ouch..

"s/o-" he was about to reach your shoulder until you almost slapped it away, he has quick reflexes and even if it was predictable, he was still hurt by your words and actions. Though, he will realise that he upsetted you so he will take the blame.

The silence was deafening and he picked up that he should leave but once in a life time, he was wrong. As soon as he turned around, you softly tugged a few of his strands and pinched his cheeks, making him gasp very, very quietly.

You...You actually suprised this God of a man! Your luck must have been very high as you can see a shocked expression rather than the usual neutral one he always does. The feeling was different and he wanted more yet he didn't quite understand it either.

When you explain it to him, he wouldn't really understand it that much but wouldn't mind it either. Izuru thought that pinching is something you do to someone you hate or are angered with but it seems that is always not the case.

There is no need to tell him your problems as he already knew and he's gonna do great use of practicing his empathy and comforting you the best way he can. It might be a little awkward but he's trying!

Also big bonus; go all out and rant your problems and be grumpy all you want with him as he can easily get used to it and not mind it one bit. He finds it rather cute, if he has to be honest.

[starlight-loki]

Seeing Each Other In Dreams (Loki x Reader hc)

A/N: as someone who's had some really freaking weird recurring dreams over the years, I thought it would be neat to explore this topic a bit more :')

there was that saying, that everyone you encounter in a dream is someone you saw in real life, even for just a second

but as soon as you dream about him, you know that that saying's definitely not true

you're not really sure who he is, but you definitely haven't seen anyone like him before

his face isn't one you'd forget

or his eyes

the way he looks at you -- even though in your first dream he was standing at the opposite end of the room -- makes you feel as though you had gotten punched right in the gut

you didn't speak to Mystery Dude the first time you dreamt about him, but you sure as hell couldn't get him off your mind after that

not a day went by where you didn't think about him -- who he was, why he was in your dream in the first place, why he wouldn't stop staring at you like he was uncovering your every secret

it was a few months, though, before another strange dream occurred

Mystery Dude was back, and this time he was there long enough for you to get closer

you opened your mouth to speak, to ask him for his name, but as soon as the two of you locked eyes, you heard a name in your mind

Loki.

you wake up before you could think anything more, your heart racing as fast as your thoughts as you tried to piece together everything you knew about this man

who was Loki? why was he showing up in your dreams? and why could you suddenly communicate telepathically?

you researched until the early hours of morning, desperate for some sort of explanation into why this person -- who might not have even existed for all you knew -- was suddenly occupying every corner in your mind just because of a small handful of dreams

your research led you nowhere, but the dreams started getting more frequent

there was one dream in particular that haunted you

about 4 months into regular yet short dream visitations from Loki, something suddenly changed

rather than the usual meet-for-5-seconds-then-wake-up scenario, you actually found him alone this time, almost waiting for you

he sat on a bench overlooking a garden, and you could feel his emotions as you moved closer to sit beside him

he felt... melancholy to you almost. it was a deeper feeling beyond sadness, a lonely yearning for something without the bitterness.

"Are you okay?"

You're not sure why you ask that question out of all the others you had rehearsed over the months -- "who are you?" "why are you in my dreams?" "are you stalking me?" -- and in reply Loki gazes at you with this indescribable look of desire in his eyes

"Took you long enough."

"I don't get it."

As if you weren't confused already, Loki shakes his head

The edges of your dream start to blur, and you panic. you just got here, you just started to talk to him more, he can't leave you now.

"Come find me and you will understand."

The sheer emotion that stays with you when you wake up brings you to tears, and you sit with your head in your hands, sobbing without fully knowing why

there's some sort of connection between you and Loki, you're sure of it

this has never happened before, he has to be real, he can't just be a figment of your imagination

somehow over the next few months, one thing leads to another and you end up finding yourself at the Avengers Compound

it started when your friend out of the blue showed you a job posting for administrative work, which you happened to apply for two days too late, only to be forwarded to none other than Stark Industries for an interview out of pity more than anything else

as you followed Tony through the Compound towards your office, you passed by a few Avengers chatting in the hall

"...I'm scheduled to train with Loki, and I'm definitely not looking forward to it-"

"I'm sorry, did you just say Loki?"

Steve Rogers as well as Tony give you quizzical stares as you gape at them

"Yes... why? Everything alright?"

A part of you wants to ask if this 'Loki' he mentioned has dark hair and green eyes that have the ability to expose your very soul, but instead you bite your lip and shake your head in dismissal

Moments later, however, you catch Tony peering down the hallway and rolling his eyes

"Speak of the devil, look who it is."

You look over in Tony's direction, and your just about give in right there on the spot

oh my god. it's him. It's Loki.

He looks exactly like how he did in all your dreams

you look away before his eyes meet yours, your breath caught in your throat, but you catch him freeze out of the corner of your eye.

he whispers your name

"I know you."

"Me?" Your heart is pounding, all you can think of is the whirlwind of emotions you felt when you sat beside him in your dream

"I've seen you before. In my dreams."

[deadravenclaw]

If You Could See My Heart

Summary: Emily accepts the job at Interpol. Penelope doesn't want her to go. Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Emily Prentiss Word count: 1.9k Category: Angst, this is just sad with a tiny sprinkle of fluff Warnings: None I think A/N: I really like writing sad stuff huh. This was suppose to be fluff but here we are with the sad (:

Read on AO3

Taglist: @simmonsmilf

She did it. She told the team she was leaving. Going back to Interpol. Everyone had been in varying stages of shock. Some were proud of her for her decision, others clearly saddened. On some level, she expected the reactions.

The one she didn’t expect was Penelope’s. The blonde had stormed out of the room the moment she broke the news. She hadn’t even given Emily a second glance. She tried following but was stopped by JJ, asking Emily to give her some time as JJ tried to talk to her.

It had been an hour since and Penelope and Emily were now sitting alone in Emily’s apartment. Emily offered to drive Penelope back to her apartment but Penelope refused, leading Emily to drive both of them to her own apartment instead. Penelope had not said a word since they were left alone. Emily had tried getting Penelope to speak, trying to explain her decision but was met with nothing throughout. They entered her apartment in uncomfortable silence, Penelope immediately making her way and sitting on the edge of the couch in the living room.

Usually, Emily would grab both their bags and coats and hang them by the door, before they both made their way to the kitchen to make themselves a mug of tea together and cuddled on the couch. This time, Emily did it alone, putting up her coat and placing her bag on the cabinet before making her way to the kitchen.

She wasn’t sure of what she should do. In the two years they had been together, Penelope had never stayed silent for this long. Even when they had their rare arguments, Penelope had always tried to talk through it. It was always Emily who hid behind a mask. Who brought up her walls when she didn’t know how to handle her own emotions.

As she poured the boiling water into their mugs, Emily thought back on their relationship. They had started dating after JJ got sent to the state department. Penelope had gone to Emily’s apartment the day after JJ left, crying into Emily’s arms. She stayed over that night, and the more it happened, it became a habit between the two women. As time progressed, it was natural that they started dating.

Then Ian Doyle happened. Four months of bliss shattered by her own past. JJ had confided with her on the plane to Paris that Garcia couldn’t even attend the funeral. That Morgan had stayed with her in their apartment, holding her as she cried. That statement alone had almost broken her. In those seven months, JJ had kept in contact with Emily through online Scrabble, not only keeping her company but updating her on the team, especially on Penelope.

Each message was like a punch in the gut. With the limited amount of characters and risk of them communicating in the first place, JJ could only tell her so much. More often enough, Emily only wanted to know about Penelope, and every time JJ could only tell her how Penelope was grieving. How she was at JJ or Morgan’s home every other day, crying her eyes out. Those conversations left Emily sick to her stomach. She knew that if she wanted, she could always leave a bread crumb on the internet which she knew her girlfriend would definitely find but the knowledge that it would potentially cause her harm kept her from doing so. Instead, she opted to lay in bed, crying into her pillow in rural France.

Then, after seven months of emotional and physical torture, she was back. Declan being the reason for it. When JJ and Hotch told the team, she stood outside, waiting to enter the conference room. But before she could even step forward, she was ambushed by Penelope rushing out of the room. They had locked eyes for a mere second before Penelope ran off again. All Emily could do was look at the retreating figure.

She had barely seen Penelope for the rest of the day after. Or for the next few days for that matter. It was only after getting Doyle that they had actually spoken. There was a lot of crying, a lot of “sorrys”, and most importantly, a lot of “I love yous”.

They spent the next week together in Penelope’s apartment, spending as much time as possible together. It was also then that Emily made the promise as they laid together in bed:

I’ll never leave you again.

She had an inkling then that it was a lie. (And she hates that she was right)

Now, as she gathered the mugs and brought them out to the couch, Emily couldn’t bring herself to look Penelope in the eye. She wordlessly placed the mug in front of the blonde, taking the seat at the other end of the couch. She heard a mumbled thanks and from the corner of her eye, she could make out Penelope gently taking the mug and sipping her tea quietly.

They sat that way for nearly twenty minutes. Multiple times, Emily tried speaking, only for words to be stuck in her throat. Penelope remained silent, sipping her tea and seemingly trying her best to ignore the person beside her.

Five more minutes passed before someone spoke.

“I need you.”

“Huh?”

“Please, Emily. I need you.” Penelope’s voice trembled as she spoke, her eyes seeking Emily’s.

Emily placed her mug down, turning her body to face Penelope. She couldn’t bring herself to look Penelope in the eye. She knew what she would see if she did and she didn’t think she could handle it.

“I need you, Emily. You… you just came back. After Doyle. After all that. Seven months, Em. Did you know how much I cried in those seven months? JJ and Morgan took turns staying over throughout those seven months because they knew how much of a mess I was without you. Everyone was walking on eggshells around me and I hated it so much. They kept asking me what I needed and I couldn’t tell them that all I wanted was you because you weren’t there. I missed you so much and to find out that you were alive all this time?” Penelope was crying, tears streaming down her face. Emily hesitantly handed her a tissue which Penelope took gratefully.

“Then you came back and everything was going back to the way it used to,” sniffed Penelope. “And… and I thought that we were good again. I mean, we even adopted another cat so Sergio would have a playmate.”

They both gave a small chuckle at that memory.

***

Two weeks after Emily had returned and Doyle was gone, she and Penelope had gone to the local shelter where they had their first date together. It was also the place where Emily had adopted Sergio. They both had soft spots for cats and other animals and Emily found it absolutely adorable how Penelope would cuddle with the animals.

It was why Emily suggested the shelter. She knew how much Penelope loved the shelter and she wanted Penelope to be happy. They spend the rest of the day with different animals, helping the volunteers and spending time together.

“Emily look!” cooed Penelope.

“Wha-?”

Emily turned around, confused. She looked around, trying to figure out what had gotten her girlfriend so excited. It was then that Emily noticed what was in Penelope’s arms. A small grey kitten laid comfortably in Penelope’s arms, purring softly as the blonde stroked it.

“Can we?” asked Penelope, looking up, hope in her eyes.

There was no way Emily could deny Penelope, especially with the look in her eyes. The eyes she fell in love with all those years ago.

Smiling, she took the cat from Penelope’s arms and began stroking the cat, cooing as it snuggled into her.

“Her name’s Pebbles,” said Penelope excitedly.

Emily took a good look at Pebbles.

“How soon can we adopt her?” Emily grinned.

***

“Tell me, Emily,” said Penelope, staring Emily in the eye. “What do I have to do to make it better? To make you stay?”

“I-”

“Please, Emily. What about me? Am I not enough to make you stay?”

Tears were streaming down Emily’s face. How was she supposed to explain that she couldn’t? That everywhere she looked, all she saw was pain. That she couldn’t step foot into the BAU without being bombarded by memories of what had transpired in the weeks before her “death”. That she spent most of her days moving about like clockwork, counting down the minutes till the end of work.

“I… I just… I just can’t deal with it anymore,” croaked Emily.

Penelope tried moving closer but Emily shifted back. Her hands twisting on her lap, Emily let out a strangled sob.

“Ever since I got back, I keep having nightmares about Doyle. About everything. Every time I step into the BAU all I see is Doyle and all the pain I caused. I tried forgetting, putting it behind me but I can’t. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t breathe. I just… I can’t do it anymore.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper by the end of it and she wiped at the tears on her face furiously.

“But… But there must be something I can do. Please Emily, we can help you,” whispered Penelope.

Emily shook her head as she whispered, “I can’t.” Her hands trembled as she took her mug, trying to focus on the feeling of the mug in her hands instead of the crushing feeling in her heart.

Her fingers wrapped around her mug, holding it tightly as her knuckles turned white. She couldn’t This time, as Penelope got closer, Emily didn’t back away. Gently, Penelope pulled Emily towards her, tucking the brunette under her chin. Emily clung on, and a few seconds later, she found herself sobbing. She could hear Penelope whispering in her ear, telling her it was alright. Her mug gently being pried from her hands and the soft clunk when it was placed on the coffee table.

But it wasn’t alright. How was it that she was the one who was leaving and yet Penelope was the one comforting her?

A few more minutes passed as Emily cried while Penelope held her. As her crying subsided, Emily felt Penelope shift under her. Sitting up and facing the blonde, Emily could see remnants of tears on her face. They stared at each other, joined hands on Penelope’s lap.

“There really is no convincing you?” whispered Penelope, breaking the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

Penelope hummed, pulling Emily closer to her. Both sighed softly as they allowed themselves to be comforted by the other’s presence for what they knew was the last time. Emily felt Penelope’s hand stroking the side of her arm, and she held on tighter.

Finally, Penelope was the first to let go. Emily sat up silently, her eyes meeting Penelope’s again. This time, Penelope was smiling, though Emily didn’t need to look that closely to see that the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s getting late. I should get going.”

“Yeah, of course. Do… Do you need me to-”

“No, I can call a cab,” Penelope interrupted.

They walked to the door, each unsure of what to say. At the door, Penelope turned to Emily, her eyes searching for something in Emily. Finally, Penelope sighed.

“Will I ever see you again?” asked Penelope with a sad smile. Emily shrugged sadly, a ghost of a smile on her face.

“I don’t know.”

Penelope took a long look at Emily. Unspoken words passed between them as their eyes conveyed those unsaid messages. Finally, Penelope cleared her throat softly.

“Good luck,” she whispered, her eyes on Emily’s one final time before turning back to leave as Emily closed the door behind her.