#i got found and brought inside hahahahah

[redhairedwolfwitch]

me: half an hour early to my meeting

me: stands outside to photosynthesise while waiting instead of just going inside early because cannot be an inconvenience by being early 💀🙄

[bugmomwrites]

How NOT To Adult: Awase Yosestu

Kicking off our Bad Adult Habits mini series is none other than seat #1 in class 1B, the potty mouth with a welding quirk. Again s/o to @thatgirlgames because none of this would be possible without her <3

To read the others check out the master list here

DIY mentality but doesn’t know where the line is

Sure, you could call a professional to fix that leaky ceiling, but why would you do that?

His quirk works well enough for the most part, and holds things together pretty well but it’s not 100% effective

You can’t just throw flex tape on everything pal

Then when it inevitably breaks he calls up the landlord, irate

Gets carried away with in app purchases

His banker is calling him, asking who is “Fortnite” and why have they charged $300 in the past month

Also has some of the worst road rage anyone has ever seen.

Unlike some of the others (cough Kamakiri cough) he lets bygones be bygones

Needed a mask to go shopping somewhere, and instead of using the standard blue ones that are ubiquitous (and much safer) he just said “bet” and pulled his headband over his mouth like a bandit 🤦‍♀️

Speaking of headbands, found his old Naruto headband and jokingly decided to wear it to work one day

Sen told him he’d give him ¥2000 if he did the ninja run through the door that day for a tiktok

Unfortunately that was also the day the higher ups decided to drop in and check in on the agency he worked at

The meeting was very awkward but hey- man is ¥2000 richer now fittingly spent it on ichiraku ramen for dinner

Ended up going viral by the end of the week, desperately wished he had Honenuki’s quirk when he ran into Momo on patrol and she told him how much she loved the video between giggles

“That was you, right?” “HAHAHAHAH yeah yup that sure was me” 🥲PLEASE HE JUST DIED INSIDE-

When he’s not doing hero work he’s cursing out little kids on Xbox live

That one guy that will scream into his mic

Sometimes gets trolled by old classmates who can recognize him easily

He’s had the same username since like middle school and refuses to change it, no matter how cringy it may be

Was gifted a swear jar once by a friend who thought he could curb his language

It's been a pencil holder for almost two years now

The little bit of cash that WAS in it ended up being spent on one of those mugs with a middle finger printed on the bottom

Curses in front of little kids constantly. Doesn’t even realize he does it, either

“But Welder says that word and he’s a pro hero! Why do you get to say it and I don’t?!”

His friend had brought over their 1 year old and Awase was thrilled to finally meet their little family- but his friend had to remind him to curb his habit in front of his very impressionable daughter

The good news is she liked him, squealing and giggling whenever he got to hold her

The bad news is her first word was something much too colorful to write in the cutesy “baby’s first” book the family had for milestones

Let me know if you want to be on the tag list!

@thatgirlgames

[undertale-rho]

Underearth: Book 1 - Chapter 39

Long ago, two races ruled over the Earth: Humans and Monsters. One day, they ALL DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A TRACE.

Frisk opened his eyes, awakening from sleep, though he couldn't remember how he fell asleep. The last thing he remembered was Flowey appearing, destroying Asgore's SOUL, then absorbing the six Human SOULs.

Standing up, Frisk looked around. There was only infinite blackness, though he could see himself just fine, but, for some reason, there wasn't a single shadow anywhere on his body. Suddenly, in his pocket, Frisk could feel a strange vibration. It was the pocketwatch he'd found back in the Citadel just after he'd awoken from his fall.

While Frisk was looking at the pocketwatch, he heard the sparking of a tube television, seeing it flash on in front of him. Once the static dispersed, a very pixilated version of Flowey's head appeared on it.

"Howdy!" Flowey said. "It's me, Flowey. Flowey the Flower! I owe you a HUGE thanks. You really did a number on that old fool. Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him. But now, with YOUR help... He's DEAD. And I'VE got the Human SOULs! Boy! I've been empty for so long... It feels great to have a SOUL inside me again. Mmmm, I can feel them wriggling... Awww, you're feeling left out, aren't you?"

Frisk shook his head, though Flowey appeared to ignore it.

"Well, that's just perfect. After all, I only have six SOULs. I still need one more... Before I become GOD. And then, with my newfound powers... Monsters. Humans. Everyone. I'll show them all the REAL meaning of this world."

Flowey's eyes then drifted to the pocketwatch Frisk was holding.

"Oh, and you can forget about escaping to the past using that old thing. We're not in that world anymore, so it's plain and simple impossible."

Frisk lowered the pocketwatch. This thing can send me to the past!? Is that what it was doing when I died!? he thought.

"Oh, but don't worry. Your old friend Flowey has worked out a replacement for you!" His face then went very toothy and sadistic. "I'll SAVE over your own death. So you can watch me tear you to bloody pieces... Over, and over, and OVER."

Frisk stashed the pocketwatch back into his pocket and drew the dagger.

"...what?" Flowey said in slight surprise. "Do you really think you can stop ME? Hee hee hee... You really ARE an idiot."

The screen then switched off. The television suddenly began moving slowly upward as flesh emerged from below, attached to the TV. Frisk heard the snapping of bones as more flesh rose from the TV, followed by a large hole with teeth surrounding it. The stench that came from the hole was beyond revolting. As the flesh grew more into form, more teeth emerged, and the mouth elongated into a sort of snout. Just above the mouth, nostrils formed from the unorganized flesh. Out to the two sides of the TV, eyelids formed, then filled, which then opened to reveal two heavily dilated eyes pointing in different directions. As the eyes opened, the mouth snapped shut, and the cracking of bone stopped for the most part. The mouth opened again, as though it had gone limp. Two tubes of a sort emerged from behind the mass of flesh, one on either side, passing the eyes as they fully came into focus and gazed at Frisk, and attached themselves into each side of the mouth, closing it again.

Frisk stepped back a bit, securing his knife.

The mass of flesh deposited some parts of itself into the ground, cracking it greatly, then re-emerged with two gigantic, thorny arms of plant matter, ending in three giant stubby red thorn-like fingers. The arms then came down, smashing into the ground on either side of Frisk, then pushing up, elevating the TV and mass of flesh. The mass then got close to Frisk, causing him to fall backward, with its giant mouth ajar, bathing Frisk in its putrid breath. Enormous cables then emerged from the sides of the TV, massing behind the mass already in front of Frisk, the falling to the ground with a loud boom, growing further. After a bit, the first mass with the TV elevated even further, supported by the larger mass behind. As it rose, more cables emerged from the fleshy and planty parts of the first mass and attached themselves to the second. Another pair of tubes emerged from the fleshy mass just above the first, encircling another pair of growths and attaching to itself again, the growths then opening into another set of eyes. As the first mass rose higher, another pair of cables emerged, these ones made of very thick thorned plant matter, which went to attach themselves to the larger second mass. Another pair of tubes emerged from the sides of the television, attaching themselves to the top.

The television then turned back on, showing a pure white screen to begin with, then showing three lines making up a smiling face. The mouth line opened into a big grin, followed by the two vertical lines opening to the sides, showing extremely red eyes with green irises. The enormous creature then laughed just like Flowey, but lower and more demented.

Frisk looked on at the mass. Just as he began moving one of his arms, Flowey moved one of his great vine arms and caused all the thorns to extend into vines and stab Frisk in the chest. Coughing up blood, Frisk was pulled up to Flowey's screen.

"Oh, don't worry kiddo." Flowey said. "This'll only hurt THE FIRST MILLION TIMES!" the vines then pulled themselves in all different directions, ripping Frisk asunder. As what was left of Frisk fell to the ground, he heard a voice.

"This is all just a bad dream... and you're NEVER waking up!" followed by the sounds of a thousand laughing Floweys.

Frisk once again opened his eyes to pure darkness.

"Hee hee hee." Flowey laughed, his voice coming from a television set sitting nearby. "Did you really think I was gonna be satisfied killing you only ONE time?"

Flowey then began rebuilding his body from the television set as Frisk watched again. This time, as soon as Flowey's body was finished, Frisk began running away. This didn't do much, though, as he was then fully enveloped by a bright blue beam Flowey had fired from his mouth.

Frisk opened his eyes again.

"Pathetic..." Flowey spat. "Now you're REALLY gonna die!"

Flowey began assembling his body again, but Frisk wasn't wasting any time, and began running before it finished. Again, though, it made no difference, as Flowey always seemed to be the same distance away.

"Oh yes, run, please, make this more entertaining." Flowey said before killing Frisk again.

Time after time, Flowey would bring Frisk back before killing them again. After a few more times, Flowey just had himself be fully assembled when he brought Frisk back. Killing him a few more times, Frisk just stopped trying to run, each time the world reloaded, he'd just fall to his knees and wait for Flowey to kill him again.

"Ha ha ha. Getting tired, little Human?" Flowey taunted.

Frisk didn't answer. He just remained sitting there, motionless.

"Ha ha ha ha. While it is fun killing you like this, you'll grow boring far too quickly." Flowey said. "How about we add some spice to all this. You can even play with each SOUL, before they kill you, that is. Ha ha."

Frisk's eyes lit up at the sound of that. Interact with the SOULs? It's unlikely, but maybe I could get them on my side, somehow... I could maybe take Flowey down. he thought.

"Of course, before I do that..." Flowey said.

Frisk raised his head just in time to see a large vine slam down on him, smear him around the floor a bit, then toss what was left away.

"Alright, kid." Flowey said after reloading again. "But first, how about we play a bit."

Flowey brought his massive arm over to where Frisk was and launched some vines at him. Frisk, however, dodged most of the barrage, getting nicked by a few. Frisk looked back at Flowey, who had deployed two barrels underneath him. After a second, they both shot flames directly at Frisk, who'd rolled to the side. After some time getting ripped apart by numerous attacks, Frisk fell to the ground, dripping blood from multiple wounds. Just then, Flowey's screen flashed to a light-blue SOUL in front of a flashing red background. Next thing Frisk knew, Flowey had disappeared and was replaced with the light-blue outline of a Human female with minimal facial features. The figure was around the same size as Frisk and wore a ribbon in her hair. She was also holding a knife.

"Ah..." Frisk panted. "Finally, one of the SOULs."

The outline didn't respond. She simply approached Frisk, tightening her grip on the knife.

"W-wait, hang on." Frisk backed up a bit. "There's no need to fight. Flowey's the enemy here, not me!"

The outline simply continued approaching. As she got close, she raised the knife to attack Frisk, who blocked their arm with his.

"I'm not the enemy." Frisk pleaded, though with no results, as the outline continued attacking.

After a bit of dagger-to-knife combat between Frisk and the outline, Frisk finally managed to grab the outline's knife-arm and suspend it, preventing her from using the knife.

"Please listen, I need your help to defeat Flowey. I can't do it alone, not with how powerful he is. If you're still in there, stop attacking and help me!"

The outline stopped struggling and just stared at Frisk.

"If I let go, will you stop attacking?" Frisk asked.

"Yes." the outline said.

Frisk let go of her. She backed up and brushed herself off.

"Will you help me defeat Flowey?" he asked.

"Not alone. Help the five that came after me, and then I will." she responded.

Frisk nodded.

The outline brought up their knife and it turned a ribbon. The ribbon then drifted toward Frisk, absorbing into him and healing his wounds.

Next thing he knew, Frisk was once again facing Flowey.

"Hahahahah. Playtime is over for that one. Wait, where's all the blood you were losing!?" Flowey demanded to know.

Frisk remained silent.

"Fine then, keep your secrets. Only allows me to extend my time KILLING YOU!!!"

Flowey once again went back to attacking Frisk, shredding his flesh until he was covered in blood once again.

"Hahahahah, better look for you anyway. Time for you to play with another SOUL now." Flowey said.

Frisk blinked and was then facing the orange outline of a Human male with minimal facial features, again around the same size as Frisk. The figure also wore the same leather gauntlets as Frisk, the ones he found in the Dimensional Box back in Snowdin Town.

The outline ran at Frisk, fists clenched, and took a swing as he got close. Frisk ducked and punched the outline in the side, causing them to go off balance and fall to the ground. Frisk climbed on top of the outline and pinned their arms to the ground.

"Listen to me, I am not your enemy. Our common enemy is Flowey. Please, if you're still in there, help me defeat him. I've already gotten help from one of you, so please help me as well." Frisk pleaded.

The outline stopped struggling.

"Well, if you're not my enemy, why are you on top of me, pinning me down, huh?" the outline said.

"Um, that was to be sure you wouldn't punch me while I talked." Frisk responded.

"Well I'm not gonna punch you unless you don't get off."

Frisk got off of him.

"Thank you. Yeah, I'll help, so long as all of us are helping, that is. Can't face Flowey alone, you know, even though I definitely would."

"Don't worry, my plan involves getting all of you on my side."

"Well then, you've made yourself an ally." the outline then gave a thumbs-up and tapped his fist against Frisk's forehead. When he did this, Frisk could feel his wounds closing and the blood that coated him leave his body. He was then once again facing Flowey.

"Healed again, have you!! Good, allows me to rip you apart some more without having to LOAD!" Flowey said.

"Only for you, Flowey." responded Frisk.

Another barrage of attacks ripped Frisk apart, once again coating him in blood.

"Playtime again. Play nice you two!" Flowey said before Frisk found himself facing another outlined Human female around his size, this one a deep blue color. She wore a sort of skirt and danced around on the tips of her toes. Frisk approached her.

"Hello." he said just before the outline kicked him in the gut.

In response, Frisk swiftly grabbed the leg she kicked him with and pulled up, throwing her off balance and taking her to the floor on her back. She then tried to kick him with her other leg, though he grabbed it two and stuffed them both under one arm as he took his other arm and used the lower half of it to slightly crush her neck.

"Listen, I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I must." he said. "I'm trying to rally each of the SOULs against Flowey. Please, I currently have two on my side. We can't do it alone, however, and need everyone. Will you help?"

When Frisk finished, he reduced pressure on her neck to allow her to respond.

"You know, you have an interesting way of telling people you mean no harm." she said.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Frisk responded, letting go of her and standing back up.

"Yes, I'll help. Convince the other three Flowey has absorbed, and I will gladly assist you."

The outline then began singing, causing Frisk's present wounds to heal. When she finished, Frisk found himself once again at Flowey's feet.

"Here we go again!" Flowey shouted as he began cutting up Frisk within an inch of his life before summoning the next SOUL.

The next SOUL was quite similar to the others, a purple outline of a Human male around the same size as Frisk. This one wore glasses and had a notebook open in his hand.

Just as Frisk began speaking, numerous projectiles appeared around the outline and shot themselves at Frisk. Frisk in-turn ran toward the outline, pain coursing through him as he ran, dodging the projectiles. Within seconds, Frisk reached the outline and tackled him. The projectiles then stopped.

"Sorry for tackling you, but it was the first thing I thought of doing." Frisk said. "I'm organizing the SOULs to help me defeat Flowey, and I need your help. Will you please help?"

The outline just laid there, motionless. Eventually, he spoke. "... Y-yeah..."

The outline nervously then healed Frisk by summoning more projectiles, though these ones soothed his wounds instead of creating more, and got once again shredded by the cocky Flowey before being sent to 'play' with the next SOUL.

The next SOUL was a green outline of a Human female around the same size as Frisk wearing an apron and working on a frying pan. As Frisk approached, fire suddenly rose from the pan and flew at Frisk. Frisk tried to dodge the flames, though was repeatedly hit with the pellets of fire. In great pain, Frisk screamed. Soon after, the fire stopped.

"I'm so sorry..." the outline said. "Here, I can fix it."

Frisk approached the outline to see what she was offering. It was a fried egg in the middle of the pan. Not wanting to come across as rude before asking for a favor, Frisk took a bite. In an instant, his wounds closed, and he felt better.

"I'll be there to help. Just free John and we can make our attack." she said.

Frisk was then returned to being back in front of Flowey, who tore him apart some more before sending him off to 'play' with the final SOUL.

Standing far in front of Frisk was the yellow outline of a Human male around the same size as Frisk wearing a hat typically stylized on cowboys. The outline walked towards Frisk. As they walked, a revolver appeared on their hip. They drew it and began firing multiple rounds at him. Frisk easily dodged the bullets, however, and dashed at the outline, grabbing their firing hand and pulling it behind their back.

"I don't want to hurt you." Frisk said. "We're on the same side. It's Flowey who is the enemy. Please, I've already freed the other SOULs, please help me defeat Flowey."

"Heh, I would if you weren't pulling my arm out of my socket." the outline responded.

Frisk let go of the outline.

"You say you've rallied everyone else already?"

"Yeah, that's about right."

"Good. Be prepared for anything."

Frisk was then pulled back into in front of Flowey.

"Did you enjoy your fun?" Flowey questioned. "Because it's now time to die!"

Flowey brought up one of his great vine arms and fired the thorned vines at Frisk. As they neared Frisk tightened himself, but then he found himself elsewhere, surrounded by the six outlines.

"We did it." the orange outline said.

"Of c-course we d-did." the purple responded.

"What did you do?" Frisk asked.

"We stunned Flowey for a moment." the light-blue said.

"We're unbound. Which means it's time for Flowey to pay for what he's done." the yellow said.

They all agreed.

"Well, new Human-"

"Frisk. My name is Frisk."

"Frisk. Pleasure to meet you. I'm Eumelia. Eumelia Ypomoné." the light-blue finished.

The orange outline then approached Frisk, offering a hand. "Nice to meet you, Frisk. I'm Heron Gennaiotāta."

"The pleasure's all mine." Frisk responded. He then looked to the other outlines. "And what do the rest of you go by?" he asked.

"My name is Lysandra Akeraiotāta." the blue answered.

"A-Albert Ackermann" the purple too answered.

"I'm Kallisto Hearth. It's so very nice to meet you." answered the green outline.

"And I'm John. John Acker." responded the yellow.

"And what of your ancestral name, Frisk?" Eumelia then asked Frisk.

"Ancestral name?"

"Yes. The name of your ancestors, the one you inherited from them. We all gave ours, now what of yours?"

Frisk remained silent for a minute, deep in thought, trying to remember his full name. After a bit, he finally gave his answer.

"Anendotos. My entire name is Frisk Anecros Anendotos."

All the outlines stepped back in shock when he said that.

"I-is something the matter?" Frisk asked.

"N-no. It's just that... Anendotos? How long has the name been in your family, do you know?" Eumelia begged to know.

"No. Why, is there something special about it?"

All the outlines remained silent, passing looks at each-other. After a few seconds of silence, Eumelia bowed down to Frisk, slowly followed by all the other outlines.

"Forgive me, but it is time to take the fight to Flowey himself." Eumelia said, face still to the ground. "We leave you in full command of us, your majesty."

A Whole New World : Your Best Nightmare

Previous First Next

[erlebnissance]

MRS. POTATO HEAD

Short Story by Bautista, L

            People said that I'm pretty and fair enough.  And my story will make your life change.

            Hi, I'm Melanie, and I am 26 years old I live in the land of Celestine. People said that I'm pretty and classy. I always received many compliments. When I was 18 years old. I started to like this guy named Josh. Until the day came he started to like me back. Josh started dating. We've been together for 3 years. And we got married at 21 years old. Josh said that I need to take some beauty products so that I won't look old. 3 years past, Josh and I are always arguing about my looks. In 3 years of our marriage, he always wants me to take some beauty products. He said that he wants me to be more pretty and perfect so his friends will not laugh at him. He said that being pretty is my responsibility.’

             So I followed him and take more beauty products because I don't want him to be embarrassed by his friends. I started buying ornaments, without reading the warnings. I always pucker my lips up until I suffocate. I don't eat properly to achieve a sexy body for Josh's sexual attraction. My soft skin turns into the leather. I spend 100 thousand dollars on Josh's compliment. I thought that Josh will love me if I am not attractive. When I was 23 years old Josh told me that  I should start taking surgeries. At that time I started taking breast and butt implants.  I take surgeries two times a year. At first, everything was fine. I feel so pretty and confident.

            I gave all the sexual satisfaction that Josh wants. And all the love that he wanted.

            Until Josh became unsatisfied with my looks. And deep inside I'm already hurt. Every year I struggle with the pain when I take surgeries.

            Does the new face come with a warranty? Is it true that pain is beauty? No one will indeed love me with I am non-attractive? That's the question I always asked in my head. As I look in the mirror I feel like this is not me anymore. My body was full of plastics. I've been taking surgery for 3 years. Wow, 3 years in a row I and I am now worried about my body.

            One day, Josh gave me money. " Go to the doctor and take a surgery, Your breast are too flat and your butt is too small", I freaked and shouted at him. " Small?! I'm already wearing a C cup bra and it is still small? My Underwear is getting tight because of my butt and it is still small?!"

            He got furious and angry at me and said " You don't have any rights to shout at me, Remember you're pretty because of me, Now take the money and go! Just do what I said." I ran into our room and cry. Is Josh really loves me? Why it is all just about looks and body? Am I ugly? I miss my old face. I miss the old me. I  wish I could turn back the time and go back to the old me.          

            A few days past, Josh became different. He is always on his phone. He doesn't even talk to me the whole day. Until I found out that he was meeting another woman. He also gave money to that woman to take plastic surgery. And I realize that this is all a joke. This is a joke, He doesn't really love me!  He is just using me for his just for his own satisfaction and I'm very stupid! I looked at the mirror and laugh at myself, Oh Melanie you are so stupid! HAHAHAHAH. I laugh and laugh until I get into tears. I started to become emotional. I hate myself. These implants and surgery? This is not loving anymore. I am not a potato that he can turn into a french fries. I'm a woman. I don't deserve this

            Josh heard me and he said, " Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic."

            And as I heard him, I freaked and my head turns into fire. Plastic? Why won't you marry a barbie doll so you don't need to turn them into plastic! Is this want you to want? A plastic? A body? why you didn't say so! So that I brought you some dolls in the first place! You Know what I regret this marriage. I'm so foolish that I married you.

            After that, I left him. I became stressed and as days past I realize that. If a man really loves you he will accept who you are. Surgeries and beauty products won't help you. People will love you even tho you're unattractive.

            Pain is not beauty. And That's my story. The end.

[stanvicton1109-blog]

Byungchan Day Fansigning/ SBS Inkigayo Recording

Hey Guys I know I am late with this story but better late than never. I am sorry. I just been so busy with all the Victon promotions and school assignments

So to start off the first recording for this era for myself was SBS Inkigayo’s pre-recording and Victon’s fan check in was at 8AM and I had to be there so I could get my sticker and get my number in line, I ended up being level 2 number 18 it was worth it I got to see the boys preform Remember Me! It took maybe 20 minutes I waited 2 hours for 20 minutes of Victon yes it was wild epsecially when the SBS Inkigayo studio is literally over an hour and a half away on the train, that is not the point it was cold and I had Victon to warm me up. After the pre-recording ended I left to the area where the fansigning was being held to pick up my seat number since Victon held their fansigning drawing through M2U records this time I had to go to the store I bought the albums at to draw my number I ended up being number 43. After I drew my number I went to eat because it is after noon at this point and I was dying since I woke up at 5AM I was beyond hungry and tired. After a few hours I bought Byunchan’s birthday a gift and labeled my album and went to the fansigning building. I was about an hour early, I eventually met up with my friends who came to the fansigning as well. After time passes it is time to go inside for the fansigning to start. The boys were a little late.

I am waiting my other friends got good numbers and one friend of my friends got a later number. While waiting my friend Ari comes back to her seat is like Porscha Guess what?? I am so confused I am like what?? She processeeds to tell me that Victon has seen her videos of them and I am so shook like oh my gosh she was freaking out I was like shookth I could not believe it either but mayber 30 minutes later it is my time to go. After getting my album checked it is time for me to go.

Sejun is first he sees me and he is like Oh... Youtube Star before I even sit down I am like woah what excuse me? He tells me that he saw me on youtube. I was like ohh. He proceeds to explain to me how Ari Vlogs her camera and such, he asks me that we always come together right. And I tell him yes and that she is recording behind me and he waves to her camera, and he tells me let’s wave to her camera together and I was like huh??? okay..... Sejun please I turn around and we wave together then he tells me Thank you for loving Victon like this. I was touched by his words he also wrote it in my book and it is time for me to move to the next member Subin

Subin sees me moving to him and is smiling like a little cheeky baby, and we greet each other and he is like I saw you on youtube and I am like oh god really? He is said it is interesting, Subin is such a smol bean he asks me what will I do tomorrow I tell him I will sleep. Then he says that he has a test next week. At first I was confused about what he was asking me I thought he was asking me did I have a test next week and then he clarified saying he has a test and then I was like oh okay, he then asked me to give him fighting and I did of course I gave him FIGHTING SUBIN! He thanks me and then I move to Seungsik

Seungsik is such a beautiful man, I love him so much as soon as I sit down he noticed that I changed my hair style, I took out my braids and straightend my hair and he told me that he liked the new hairstyle too, and I replied to him with I like his hair color and he replied that it was a relief that I liked it, then he asked me which hairstyle Iiked more his purple in the photobook or his blue hair and I told him I liked both, then I told him I went to Inkigayo today, and that I like is suspenders. I was damn broken, he finishs signing my album and I start moving to Hanse

Hanse sees me moving and looking at me says Hello Hello, and I am like hi! Hanse looks at my name after signing the page and asks me in Korean How do you spell this in English even though my name is written in plain English I spell it out for him like P O R S C H A, and when he is finished he like ohhhh and then he looks at me and he is like oh you changed your hair, Yes I changed it, and he then tells me cool, we smile at each other and he explains to me in Korean at how his english is not good I tell him my Korean is not that goos, and he tells me that now he will study English harder, an I am like okay!. Then we wave at eachother and I move to Seungwoo

My man Seungwoo was very sick that day he ran off stage a few times durning the fansign, I move to him and he sees my name and he says it like Porschaaa porschaaa porschaaa, and I am like yeah yeah yeah, hahahahah we laugh and he asks me did I eat and I tell him yes and he looks at me and notices that my hair is different and he says that ohh you changed your hair and I am like yes then he says its cool and gives it a thumbs up, he asks me why I changed it and I just said it was time and he just nods, and we wave each other off I just wanted to move on fast because I could barely talk my mouth was really dry, and he was sick I didnt want to keep him and he says thank you and I move to the birthday boy Byungchan

Byunchan is such a curious George, I sit and put this big ass Kakao friends bag on the table, The following conversation happens in English, Byungchan asks me if it is a birthday gift for him and I say yes, he asks me what kind of gift I tell him a shirt and he asks me Kakao friends shirt?? I tell him no, and he like I wonder what kind of gift this is? then he asks me If I am sick because of my lack of speaking I almost shout no but I just say no,and he says ahh okay and finish signing my page he shakes my hand and passes my book to Chan and I move to chan

Chan is last and I am dead I was so dead by then end of this like I was shocked I said things on my own, We great each other and Chan has a hard time finding his photo and when he finds it he say found it, and then he signs my page, he asks me something in Korean about liking something and the word I do not understand I repeat it back to him and he then says it in English and what he was trying to ask me was How Do I Like the 4th Album and I reply to him that I liked it, and then I mention Highlight’s (Beast) Junhyung but I was trying to say he did a good job producing the song, but it got caught because I realized that I did not know how to say that, but chan probably knew that I liked the song alot not Junhyung ohhh god!! he says thank you and it is time for me to go and I leave off the stage. 

After that I was like dead, I waved to Subin, and he waved back. The boys wished Byungchan a happy birthday, they preformed Remember Me. Byungchan asked the staff, if the fans could have a hi-touch, since he asked the fans what did they want to do for his birthday, and they said hi-touch, the staff said no, and they had a photo time with Byungchan and his birthday cake and his birthday cake, it was so cute, Their remember me performance was supposed to be a cute ver. but it was kind of a regular version. Overall it was an eventful fansigning, Also another thing though Seungwoo ran off a few times he always brought back a banana for the fan that was waiting for him or a cuti, one member even drew on a fan’s banana, then before they wrapped up Sejun gave a peeled cutie to a fan it was so sweet. The fansign was interesting I cant wait to go back again I miss them so much.

[sevensity]

RFA + V + Saeran reacting to an MC who just got stung by a wasp or bee? I recently got stung by a wasp and now my hand is all swollen ^^;;

Oh no! I consider myself lucky because I have yet to bee stung (hahahahah get it) and I hope I never will that shit looks painful T.T Did you clean the wound properly? Apparently honey really helps to soothe stings, but don’t use it if you’re allergic! I hope you get better soon ~

YOOᔕᑌᑎG:

Happened to my bro when he was like 8, we were in my Gradmother’s garden and wanted to catch butterflies, so my bro saw a bumblebee and he was like “it’s fuzzy, colorful, and flies…therefore it’s a butterfly” bless his soul

Summer had arrived, and with it came a clear, breezy day, that weather where the sun warms you up but the wind cools you down at just the right moment

It was a perfect time to go butterfly catching

So collected your net, sunscreen, food, and one (1) Yoosung before precipitating yourself towards a nearby park

Tbh he didn’t really want to participate because he’s scared of hurting the butterflies oh my god hold me back this boy is so precious

But he was fine cheering you on from the sidelines, after all your happiness is his happiness

It wasn’t long before you spotted a Monarch butterfly perched atop a nearby flower bush, and in one fell swoop, you catch it in your net

Yoosung is like woah that’s my girl look at her what a pro

But you hadn’t thought that there might be other small critters lying among the flowers

So as you reached over to close the net, you felt a sharp pain in the meaty part of your palm

Yoosung appeared right beside you before you could even start to cry, pulling an emergency med kid out of his backpack as he took your hand in his and begins to treat your wound

“It’s okay, don’t cry,” he said, kissing your brow.  Although Yoosung was a bit nervous since the love of his life was in pain, his words were so soft and soothing that as they washed over you, the pain gradually faded and you were left with nothing but the warmth of his hand over yours

For the next few days, Yoosung constantly checked up on you, and told you to limit the use of your hand

He applied ointment to prevent any swelling and discomfort, and basically just took such good care of you the wound vanished in a few days

You lowkey wanted to become an animal just so that you could visit Doctor Yoosung and have him treat you

ᘔEᑎ:

It was quite simple really, you were crouched in front of a flower bed, smelling their sweet fragrance, while Zen sat beside you, thinking about how much you looked like a flower fairy

But then a bee sorta plopped onto your thigh, and in your surprise, you tried to brush it off, but the bee ended up stinging you before it fell onto the ground

Your yelp of pain brought Zen back from his reverie, and he cradled you against his chest, asking you why you were suddenly crying

Babe I think something stung me and it really hurts

He went from 1 to 100 real quick, his eyes blazing in fury as he tried to find The Villainous One Who Injured My Princess™

He’s all like @ bee: (ง'̀-‘́)ง come at me u ‘lil bitch

Zen the bee is already quite dead

He whisked you away towards the nearest first aid station, and held onto you the entire time you were getting the sting cleaned up and covered

Insisted that he carry you home, because he seemed to be under the impression that if you walked, your leg might fall off

Once you got home, he placed you on the couch and ordered you to stay put for the rest of the day

But he knelt before you and…

Being the romantic bastard (I use this word in a nice way here don’t hate me) he is, Zen lifted your leg up to his lips and kissed the bandage

“From now on, I will not lose to anything.  No human, nor bug, nor any other formidable foe will ever hurt you again, be they large or small.”

I mean as sweet as that sounds, just imagine Zen hovering around you with an aerosol can in his hand whenever you go outside, constantly spraying bug repellent everywhere so it just sorta hangs around you like a cloud

Are you trying to poison me Zen do you really wanna pull some Romeo and Juliet shit Zen are you really that dramatic Zen

ᒍᗩEᕼEE:

At first, the both of you thought that adding tables outside the cafe for customers to use was a good idea

But neither of you thought of the horrible things leftover sweets attracted

One day, while you were clearing up a table littered with half-eaten cake on a side not who dares not finish their cake why would you even consider such a thing???, you picked up a plate an immediately dropped it after feeling something stabbing your finger

The plate shattered against the ground, and you felt your heart beating in your index finger

Jaehee never heard you cuss so loud

She rushed outside to see what all the commotion was about, and saw you clutching your hand, face red and eyes watering

Now Jaehee is smart, with just a single look, she can tell exactly what’s wrong

Baehee ushered you inside, telling you not to worry about the plate, not to worry about your finger, not to worry about anything because she is there and will take care of you

She apologized to the customers, saying that she had something important to take care of, and wouldn’t be available for a few minutes

In a flash, she had everything laid out and ready to use, carefully pulling out the wasp’s stinger, wrapping a hand towel around your finger before giving you ice

You felt bad for disrupting both of your work, but she again told you to stop fretting

She made you stay behind for half an hour, until the ice was almost completely gone, before allowing you to come back again

Though she insisted that you only use one had , and limit yourself to the smaller tasks

When you both went home that day, Jaehee settled you on her couch and declared that she was going to feed you herself

But Jaehee I have two hands you know

She wouldn’t hear any of it though

“Fine, then how about you use your other hand to feed me in turn?”

It turned into a fluff fest and ended with both of you giggling hard, chocolate pudding smeared across both of your faces, cheeks flushed, that day’s incident long forgotten 

Mmh and then Jaehee offered to “clean up” the pudding on your face, and so another sort of fest begun

ᒍᑌᗰIᑎ:

I’m like 700% sure that he’s already safe-proofed his entire penthouse

There are no bugs, no critters to be seen anywhere, even out in the garden, the only insects you see are the harmless ones

I guess with money, anything really is possible

EXCEPT, bees

Jumin was aware how important bees were for the environments as well as his garden, so he allowed the existence of bees to continue in his otherwise no-bug haven

But this led him to the fake belief that bees were completly harmless creatures

I mean for the most part they are but accidents still occur

And an accident was exactly what happened when you wandered too close to a bee hive

Luckily, you managed to escape with only one sting (actually I heard that even if you aren’t allergic at first, if you’re stung multiple times you can develop an allergy and die???) but it still caused enough pain to make you tear up

Jumin Mental Equation: You+Crying+Swollen Arm= MC has a fatal illness

Rushed you to the hospital despite your complains

Jumin I need tweezers and an ice pack, not an X-Ray and an IV

Did feel a bit embarrassed when the doctor told  him it’s just a bee sting

He had his arm around you the entire day after that, except when you fell asleep in the afternoon

When you woke up, Jumin was nowhere to be seen

The guards said he was in the garden

As you approached that place, you heard his voice talking to someone

You peaked around the corner and

Ju MIN??!

This dude was wearing a beekeeper outfit, in a cutesy kitten pattern to boot

But what shocked you the most was that he was trying to have a discussion with the bee hive

Or maybe, telling the bees off for hurting you was more accurate

Which did nothing but aggravate said bees, who were now swarming around him in a rather angry manner

Jumin you’re an absolute dork but that’s part of the reason why I adore you so much

ᐯ:

Really though, unless he’s there with you when it happens, the blind man will not notice your injuries, even if you happened to get your head chopped off

That’s really sad actually

When you were out in the garden tending he flowers and got stung by a wasp, it hurt, but you were adamant about not letting V find out

Imagine how he would feel if you got hurt but he wasn’t there beside you?

So you were biting your lip, fighting back tears as you rushed to treat yourself, when V came in

“Sweetheart? What are you doing?” he asked after hearing you rummaging around in the cabinets for tweezers.

“Ah, um, nothing!”

He reached out for you, and instinctively you did the same

V’s fingers brushed against your swelling forearm, and felt you flinch away

He froze

“”Did you…did you injure yourself?”

“It’s…it’s nothing major, just a wasp sting.”

“Oh my God, MC I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize before, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice your pain.”

The poor boy looked like he was about to cry, and clutched at his fkn gorgeous hair in distress

See this is exactly what I mean the poor man blames himself too much

You assured him that it was all okay, that you knew how to take care of your own wounds, and that if he wanted to make you feel better, he could stay near you

But after that incident, V suddenly decided to get the surgery

“What happens if something like this happens again,” he said, “I want to be able to prevent you from getting hurt again.”

ᔕᗩEYOᑌᑎG:

This happened to my friend in the same situation (except it was in a towel fort me and my friends had made),  we all found it so hilarious that even though she was crying from the pain, she still laughed along with us. What a touching story excuse me while I wipe away my tears

You managed to convince him to go to a public pool with you

Now this place had a really big grassy area with lots of shade, so you decide to sit down

But unluckily for you, you only wore your bathing suit and had your towel wrapped around your shoulders

And even more unluckily for you, there was a bumblebee bumbling around in your choice area to sit

Naturally, the little fuzzy fella was squashed to death, but not before his stinger was neatly lodged in your butt cheek

SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING OWWWW!!!!!!

The Defender of Justice Magically Appears!! He just kind of blinked at you while you were feeling up your butt tho

“Do you need some help with that, miss?”

Immediately became concerned when he saw you crying though, and pulled you into a tight embrace

“Honey what’s wrong?”

“S-Seven…I think I sat on a bumblebee.”

You felt him tense up

Then you felt him start to quiver

Bastard you better not be doing what I think you’re doing

Sure enough, Seven was trying to suppress his laughter, but when you pouted at him, he just couldn’t hold it in anymore

“Ahahaha! You sat on a bumblebee! I wonder what the view was like from down there…what did it see in it’s last moments? I bet it was a glorious sight to behold.”

You cheeky bastard pun 117% intended

Rest assured though, he gave you the best first aid care, especially given the location of your wound

After all was said done, Seven sighed wistfully and said, “But in all honesty, letting a bumblebee go somewhere so private…are you sure you weren’t having an affair?” also reference 249% intended

“No?”

“Good,” he says, leaning closer to your ear. “You better not bee.”

That night y’all watched The Bee Movie and he frequently whispered “That could be us but you playin’.”

What exactly he was insinuating, you did not know.

ᔕᗩEᖇᗩᑎ:

You went out to his favorite ice cream stall on a sweltering summer day

He went back for seconds while you waited at a nearby bench

Your hair fell over your shoulder as you leaned forward towards your half-eaten cone, so you lifted a hand to brush the locks back and –

OUCH!

You hadn’t noticed, but a sneaky wasp had flown into your hair, and you’d accidentally squished it a bit between your hair and collarbone

Real talk: when you get any sort of injury directly over bone, it fucking hurts

So when Saeran came back to see you crying, he was floored

Did I make her wait too long? Did someone hurt her? Did- wait what the hell is that?

He took one look at the swelling on your collarbone and decided that someone had tried to kill you

Ah Saeran, I’ve met a lot of people before who jump to the most unlikely conclusions possible but you reaaally take the cake

Though your tears weren’t something he wanted to see, so anxiously he patted your head and asked what happened

You explained to him, that you think you were stung by a wasp

Like Zen, Saeran looked around, trying to find someone to fight

Saeran who gives a damn about the wasp this sting hurts like a bitch

Tol bean wasn’t sure what to do though. There wasn’t no one to beat up, he he didn’t know how to take care of a wasp sting, and your crying was just making him want to cry

So Saeran, in a flurry, grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him

“It’s okay,” he said, “I know someone who can help. Just hang in there, okay?”

Saeran pls stop talking like I’m mortally wounded

With that he took off at break-neck speed in the direction of who knows where, pulling you along in his wake but shit this guy can go

Yeah, you still felt the throbbing pain beneath your neck, but Saeran ran so fast your were practically flying through the air behind him

A few minutes later, you found yourself at Yoosung’s doorstep, Saeran spamming the doorbell until a disheveled looking ray of sunshine boy opened the door

Without much grace due to his sheer panic, Saeran shoved you in front of him and yelled, “Please, help me! I don’t know what to do!”

When things calmed down a bit and the circumstances explained, Yoosung showed Saeran how to clean a sting wound, how to properly remove a leftover stinger as well as remedies to soothe the affected area

Yoosung teaching Saeran new thing, and Saeran absorbing it all with shining eyes was a really effective painkiller

Lol it was almost worth getting stung just to witness this moment 

[crashpaddiaries]

Dear Crashpad Diary #33

Yoooooooyoyoyoyo beasts!!!

Ha… our trip back home is approaching fast and I´m actually looking forward to see yas all back in Ireland! =)

I hope you are all fantastic and having a blast everywhere!! =)

Today I´m gonna tell you the story of an enchanted waterfall / the attack of the fish / tang shake / jumpstarts or the tale of the bull bus / the highlander of the buses / the long journey to Chiang Man / Hell on earth hostel / Going to Pai by bike

Wow… so much to tell!! I defo should stop more often and write about the trip… otherwise, the stories get accumulated haha

So.. since I wrote last time we´ve been to the most beautiful waterfall on earth!! I know… some will tell me... but you haven’t been to everywhere… man… you know when it can´t get better!! hehe We can find sth similar… but Kuang Si Falls is from another world!! Do you know those long exposure pics… where the water gets blurry and kinda fairy tale style? Yep… this cascades are like that but naturally!! =)

Well… I could be telling many many beautiful adjectives to describe it for yous… but it would be only being unfair to the waterfall.. nature and to you… that should grab your backpack and head there before the tons of tourists that visit the place without a bit of care or conscience destroy it. Unfortunately, we´ve seen people getting into the water even though there were signs prohibiting it… =(

Anyways, there were areas that you could go for a swim and enjoy the blue/green-ish waters… and that my friend… is where the danger lies hehehe we met a girl that crashed her bike few weeks before getting there and her legs were… I'd say… grated hehe and the scabs were covering the legs… until she got inside the water haha the fishes “attacked” her and ate… yep…. ate the whole thing… eeeeew!! hahaha

She got those fish massage for free hehehehe In fact… if you stayed static for few secs the fishes would start biting you haha weird sensation hehehe but totally worth it!! haha

As I have mentioned maybe 2000 times already… we are living on fruit shakes and smoothies… my bro even got some sore throat due to that haha… worth it again!! haha But you know… the more you get… the higher is the chance of going wrong… and that happened when I asked if the guy had coconut… he said yes… way to go!! Coconut and avocado shake… the perfect match!! Like heel hook and roofs… Bonnie and Clyde (the rocklands ones!!)…. you got me!!

But nope… when you get tang shakes… you know those powder thingy??? The guy were courageous giving me that shit… man… you are in the middle of a food market… in Laos… with tropical fruits falling on your head as you walk on the streets…. plus… there are maybe other 4000 stalls making juices… and you give me a tang shake?? Fuck off!! hahaha I gave the shake back… 2 steps to the right and 3 minutes later I got a real and scrumptious avo shake with his neighbour!! Hooooooray!! and Booooooo for that guy!! man… you must rethink your business!! haha

Unfortunately, our trip in Laos came to an end… and what an epic ending!! hehe I really do not understand how the buses there deal so well with the roads… We got a last one… after many… from Luang Prabang to the border with Thailand… man… there was a little road in all those holes… some parts of the road looked like a canyon on its own… it could also be treated as an attraction!! hahahaha

That bus specifically was way to strong… I think that one os the Highlander of the buses… it didn’t have any problems with the bumps… however… all the impact seemed to be transferred to our bodies hahahahaha what a massage!! hehe

As usual… for the entire trip, we kept the feeling that we would have trouble with it and sooner or later it would stop broke for good… but nope… it was brave and brought all of us to Thailand… that does not mean it was easy though…. every single stop the bus had to be started with a jumpstart… hehe The whole thing was shaking and whenever there was a stop for toilet or anything else we knew we would feel like a cowboy sitting in a bull… I´m not kidding… I think we got a new world record!! The normal cowboys get maybe 8-9 seconds riding a bull…. I wanna see these guys riding a Lao Bus for 10 hours hahahahaha

AAAAnd after the Highlander/Bull bus, we got to the border… bruised and tired… had to wait about 2 hours for the border to open… checked out from Laos… Checked in Thailand… another hour or so to get the van from there to Chiang Mai… 6 hours later we got to the Thai city in the north… awesome!!!

There we met Dai again… we had spent few days at the begging of our Thai trip with her in Koh Phangan and after 3-ish months we gather together once again… good vibes! But not good hostel choice hehehe She found this place and the pics were good (never go for the pics!! haha)… and we booked at the same place… I mean… not considering all the rats, dirty and mosquitos… the place would be fine!! hehe And we were thinking we would sleep well after the long trip from Laos hahahaha Oh boy!! haha Few days later we checked the reviews on this place online and the very first one had the funniest title ever: Mojito Garden… Hell on earth!!

Now you can only imagine hahahahahah And the worst part is that we had already paid for the 5 days upfront!! shit shit shit!! hahahahah

Well.. we survived and few days - many mosquito bites - all the rats - later, we separate again… Luh and I rented a bike and headed north… To Pai… what a wonderful city… small… awesome atmosphere… surrounded by nature and sweet landscape!! Another adventure to get there tho… as you have to drive through exactly 762 curves in an astonishing road going up there!!

We had driven through the loops in Laos and in few other places… but this one had won our choice of the most fantastic and enjoyable road trip so far! What a beautiful path!! =)

As most of the people are not able to drive with such a technique and skills (myself included)… a big percentage of tourist go there by van… you can only imagine the level of motion sickness… hahah they have even signs that alert the drivers where they should and could stop the vans for people to puke!! hehe I´m serious… there are signs where there is one person vomiting… you don´t believe me??? Check this out and have fun >> https://goo.gl/images/s7Hd2C. hahahahahahahahah

haha after this one I feel I should stop writing hahaha

We still have from this point on… a month or so of trip and loads of adventures… I´ll post more stories soon so… stay tuned and have a great life wherever you are!!

I´m sending all my best vibes and smiles!!

Cheers beasts!! Luv yas =)

Evan

[crashpaddiaries]

Dear Crashpad Diary #28

Helllllllooooooo my favorite beasts of the entire world!!

How´s going there?? Hope you´re ready for the summer and the outdoors season!! hahahahahaha

well… now I understand when some people defend that cold weather is better for climbing… after months of hot-boiling weather in SEA, I came to a conclusion that, summer in these places is not suitable for even a living, actually…. freaking hot hahahah I'm right now writing and dehidrating as I´m sweating hahahah

Today I´ll write about: Loads of falls, getting better on surfing, that´s why I don´t like policemen, drinking coffee that just came out of an animal´s ass, photo pranks, earthquakes…

I´m seriously having fun here while learning how to surf!! We´re currently in Bali and we´ve been going to some beaches that are better for learners and cookies hahaha The problem is that, when you are learning from someone that already knows what the story is, sometimes you lack some good information!! hahah The first morning we´ve gone inside the ocean I had a big board with good flotation… therefore… the thing would not dive right?!?! Yep!!

So there is no need to tell ya that whenever a huge wave was coming and I tried to dive with the board it would not work and I would go inside the wave in a washing machine state hahahah After 3 or 4 big waves I kinda felt that sth was wrong and I had to change the strategy!! ahahahaha

Ever since I almost died in Patagonia due to a sudden snowstorm allied to my excess of confidence I have always been afraid of nature and it´s power… maybe the ocean is the one that scares me the most… so… after all those huge waves, I was decided to leave the ocean and rest for a bit (or for days) at the beach… but my bro came and told me how to deal with them and it is actually pretty ok… you don´t feel like dying the whole time hehehehe And after that I could focus on standing up hahahahah which I did just after 4 hours… or 3 days…. not sure… I´m not controlling the time here!! hahahaha

Once in Bali, the rice fields and Ubud area are a must-see attraction… off we went then… We rented a bike… got my camera and all the stuff and venga!! 
 BTW… we have been using an app called Maps.me which is absolutely fantastic! you can use all the maps offline and download all the countries or areas you might need… freeeeeaking nice!! That saved us many times on the trip!!

And there we were… maps on one hand… Luh driving…. we had like 40kms in front of us… everything was fine till the time we got to a big avenue and the policemen stopped us… to check the docs… funny though that they were stopping only tourists…

As soon as he stopped us… Luh gave him the drivers license and all the motorbikes documents that were in pristine conditions as the bike was Wayan´s one, from the hotel we were staying… Anyways… does not matter if that was ok or not… they were stopping only tourists to get money out of them… they came with a story that the driver´s license was not valid here and bla bla bla… the police guy brought us to the corner and said that we would have to “fix the mistake”… we tried to discuss a bit but he asked for 500.000 rupees… we said we did not have, which was true, cuz who´d go out for a day trip in a place like this carrying the daily budget?? haha

He asked 50% then, and we said no… but in the end he got 150.000 from us and let us go…. fucker!! =(

Later that week we met some locals that told us it is pretty common… you only need to put like 50.000 inside the motorbike´s documents when you hand it off, they will take the money and let you go with no harm… it´s sad to see things like this happening tho!!

Forgetting about this shit happen… people like this policemen cannot dictate the way you face or remember the day… I just decided to write about to help people avoiding losing money for nothing!! 

The trip that day was awesome… the rice fields were beautiful an huge… even after living in Hampi and having its great rice paddies as a constant background… I still have the capacity of fall in love with rice fields around the world… they seem to get greener and more vivid as the life goes on!! heheh

Something funny happened that day in the fields… funny for us… cuz for that lady twas not funny at all!! hahahah She was being photographed… and suddenly, she was covered by the mud and surrounded by rice hahahahah Yep… she fell inside one of the fields… and all the people present in that valley that day will remember the scared noise that one of her family member made as she collapsed!!

I can only imagine what happened: “Let´s take a pic people… Grandma… one step back… another one…. one last step for a better position!!”…. Grandmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….. hahahahahhahaha

Poor thing!! She was rescued fast without major injuries… she fell prob around 3 metres… but her clothes…. hahahaha I´m laughing but twas not funny for her… clothes!! RIP white shirt!! hahahahah

The next matter might sound a little awkward and maybe disgusting for some of yous…. but it was a valid, different and, I risk to say, delicious experience!! Someone had already told me about the most expensive coffee ever… a coffee that somewhat was extracted from an animal´s poo!! hahah And the best part of the story… it was somewhere in Indonesia!! hahaha

It happened to be in that area.. in Ubud… place where the animals were kept in captive… feed by the human and, after all the digestive process, the poo would be collected, roasted, ground and served as the most expensive coffee on earth… I have to agree that the coffee is indeed good… but as all the good coffee I´ve ever taken… Colombian, Brazilian, Kenyan… all of them were great too!!

So… I have been trying to understand why we keep these animals in a cage to make sth that we have already mastered without them?? Maybe it is a way to add some different value to the product.. but is it worthy?? dunno…

It seems that the human being have a fetich for the animals asses though!! Some time ago a friend of mine told me that vanilla flowers are extremely rare, therefore, original vanilla flavour is costly… reason why all the big companies found a way to artificially replace it… and the way they found, involves something found on otter´s asses…. seriously??? First you get the vanilla from the otter ass and now the coffee from the Luwak ass????

Can you imagine what would be a Luwak vanilla coffee then!! hahahahahaha

Well… with the unpredicted bribe expense, we decide to save some money using the app Tripadvisor to get info on cheap places to eat and all… silly mistake!! They have a way to rate the restaurants with € symbols… if the place has one symbol is cheap and so on…

It was easy for me and Luh to choose…. the ones with more than € were automatically out of scope hehe Unfortunately and fortunately, they have some sort of trouble to define what is cheap and expensive… cuz the cheap stuff they define was overpriced … that's the unfortunate part… cuz we walked to few of them for 2 or 3 times… got there starving and had to abort the mission because of the prices…. However… and that's where the fortunate part comes… we got to find some nice, delish and cheap local places!!! Yummy and in your face trip advisor!! don´t like ya!! haha odds of using apps haha

Talking about odds…. what are the odds of going to bed thinking out of the blue about tsunamis and thinking what would be the best action plan for us if that happened (I know… it's weird but it was pretty random thought) and wake up the next morning with an earthquake???

Weird, isn’t it??? I know!!

Maybe because of the thought of the previous night… I woke up, got out of bed and opened the door to leave the room in a split of second… when I opened the door my brother woke up and while he was trying to understand what was going on I told him to leave fast…. by that time we had few more secs of shakiness and then it stopped… checking the internet few mins later I could confirm that it happened 35km from our place and it was quite strong… 6.10 on the Richter scale!! wow… one can freak out when the safety of the ground vanishes that sudden!! I can remember the soundtrack of it all was provided by some old ladies that kept yelling for the whole length!! haha

In that same website… earthquaketrack.com, I saw that you can register to receive earthquake alerts on twitter!! hahahaha Imagine that… you get an alert like: “Holy Shit…. run!!!!” or “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!” or even “Good night Mr. Jones, We´d like to let you know that in few mins from now you´ll feel like you´re losing it… don´t worry… it´s all good… if you live your home and head to a park or some sort of open air area like… NOW!! 

or... even the classic Douglas Adams advice: “Don´t panic!!” hahahahahaha

Sweeeeeet!! I hope you had good fun with this post… all the stories and infos are true, even the paragraph that I say I did get up on a surfboard!! hahahah

All the best smiles and sweet vibes from the great Indonesia!!

oh… and if you´re thinking about grabbing your backpack and travel the world… let me know…. I might join you somewhere!! =)

Cheers and good trip!!


Evan

[crashpaddiaries]

Dear Crashpad Diary #16

Happy New Year beeeeeasts!!

I wish you all the most fantastic and unimaginable things for 2017… it will be memorable and whenever… in the future… you think back and visit this year… your thoughts will be fulfilled with happiness and your face will be hit by a smile bigger than you can support… you know those one that you get cramps in the jaw??? hahahaha

So… the post is this year but with some reminiscence of 2016… which was… how can I relate to this year??…. well… the best year ever would suit pretty well!! hahaha but… it is defo the best year ever… until 2017!! hahaha

I have no doubt that the new year will come with some surreal surprises and experiences!! =) ENJOY it as hell!! hahahah

The latest adventures of last year involves crazy buses… people dying and reviving… urban legends and loads… loads of fun!!

I had to break the line up of the trip…. cuz so far on this trip I was keeping the same path the Portuguese people took in the past… haha following my roots… leaving Europe… towards south… getting to South Africa… then India… but.. because the visa issue we had to break the rule and go to Sri Lanka… did the portuguese have the same issue with the visa?? hahaha

Actually I am not mad at all because of it… our days in Sri lankan soil have been fantastic and enjoyable.. some time too adventurous… have you ever seen how the bus drivers act in their traffic?? haha That is madness… they don’t stop honking… almost going over anything the whole time… does not matter if it is a car… motorbike… tuk tuk… bike… dog… post… traffic light… they don’t even respect if there is an old couple on it…. they dont stop on the bus stops… actually I don´t know how they call it there… cuz bus stop should have the purpose to the bus park in that place so the people inside could leave safe and happy wherever and whenever needed… right?? So…. they should rename it… maybe Bus Dive area or Bus Jump-and-keep-running-if-you-can area hahahahaha cuz it is an extreme sport ahahahah

Fair enough I always left the bus in the final stop… I mean… when it was properly parked and safe haha I would not mind get injured climbing but commuting…. I have to decline the offer Sri Lanka hahaha

I don´t know… I think the drivers are on cocaine haha… they play freaking loud techno music and act a bit weird not to say much hahahaha

Great experience though…. got the bus… paid 50 sri lankan rupees… almost witnessed 45 accidents in 10 minutes… got stuck in the traffic without moving for other 30 minutes… decided to walk… hopped off… of course because of the traffic the bus was not moving…. but the driver was still honking…. the pay trance was running and I was already few meters away… ahead haha in your face bus!! haha You know that you made the right move when the universe give you back the money you paid on the bus… I crossed the street and there was the 50 rupees note waiting for me!! And around 1 hour later I got to the hostel to meet Stephen and get the flight to India!! Hooooooray!! =)

During my time in Sri Lanka I got the opportunity to travel alone for few days… something that I hadn’t done  in the last 2 years… I love being on my own and always do… but travelling in other country is another stuff… the freedom and the possibilities are awesome! Took the trains to the heart of Sri Lanka… visited temples… mountains…. hang outside the wagon… enjoyed the cold breeze…. how I love travelling!!

If you´re ever in Sri Lanka… don´t miss the scenery train to Ella and Kandy!! =)

I got to the Hostel at 9pm… our flight would be at 2am… we had time… 10 mins later the rain came as I´ve never seen in my life… it was so incredibly hard that we were in the rooftop and we could not chat among us because of the noise… hard to believe!! And quite long… almost an hour raining uninterruptedly…. I was sure that our flight would be delayed if not cancelled…. but nature is kind and everything worked out well!! =) There we go India… good to see you again! =)

Left Sri Lanka at 2am ish… got to Chennai (India)… had to get the stamp…. wait for the other flight to Bangalore…. got there…. ate a burrito haha…. went to Decathlon cuz Stephen had to get a new boot… tried to do some slackline there…. realised that I was sleepy…. lied down in one of the crash pads there for an hour… we had to kill time… our bus to Hospet would leave only 10:30pm from the centre…. after that we went to an restaurant… ate again…. waited…. went to the mall… at this point I was like the walking dead…. we found some sofa…. sat and did not move for a while…. hours passed by…. and its time to go to the bus…. and another hour waiting…. I was already gone…. wasn’t interacting at all… needed some sleep urgently…. hahahahaha

The bus was a sleeper bus…. but I didn´t sleep…. I died there and was waken up in Hospet by Stephen…. the adventure was almost over… we only needed one more bus or tuk tuk… cross the river in a boat and walk a little…. hahahahaha yep…. we do sacrifices for climbing!! =)

Once in Hampi… the climbing can’t stop hahah we got loads of great sessions… sweet problems and nice people….

Alfonso… our friend from Ireland also has arrived for christmas…. he had his own adventure coming from Bangalore…. but switching the sleeper bus for a daily one… full of people and stopping in every single city…. took him 10 hours to get to Hampi…. what a brave guy hahahahaha But I´m sure it was worth it…. we´re having such a nice time!!  

The Christmas morning we decided to go climbing… early morning we headed to the Crystal Ball area… on the way we passed by a couple that asked us if one of our friends was gone missing the christmas eve…. cuz that morning they found a guy passed out on the road… bleeding… unconscious…. with no IDs and in a pretty bad shape was taken to the hospital…. well… we weren´t missing anyone but got concerned as it is unusual here….

The climbing day was fantastic and we got as usual… wrecked…. that day we heard loads of stories about the guys… the legend started hshshhah

Some said that it was a scam and some people did sth bad to him…. we heard that he was well…. we heard he died… we heard he was climber…. we heard he was not…. the police was around but we did not see any…. until few days later…. the day they took the crash pads of everyone that was in the plateau climbing after the sunset…. that was the new rule… no climbing after darkness… cuz the guy supposedly told the police that it was dangerous….. haha Who is the guy??? Is he alive??? hahahaha what a mess….

And the police kept all the crash pads piled up in the plateau but did not know what to do with it… people that rented their did not know what to do…. some of the officers did not even speak english…. what a mess again hahahahaha

In the end they gave back all the seized crash pads…. and so far we don’t know whats the story with the guy!! haha Hope he is ok!!

Though…. I heard he was not actually a guy… it was an alien that because of the level of the energy Hampi has, got attracted on his way back home (Pluto) and in a meteor shower came to India…. as the gravity is different in his place and he did not have any shoe proper to the approach (shout out to 5.10… where is my sponsorship???)… he was walking through the egg shaped boulders… slipped…. didn´t have any spotter… neither crash pads (shout out to Petzl…. where is my sponsorship??? hahah)…. he fell and started the legend! hahahahaha

Talking about crazy people…. Myself and Alfonso went to the temples…. visited some new ones… had awesome time…. but the latest one brought me some weird experience haha

We were there… to see the monkeys and the elephant…. started taking pics of the elephant…. its important to emphasise that… to get in we had to pay… and to use the cams we had to pay a bit more… there were people with the elephant… people giving money to the elephant which would take it… give to a guy and then “bless” the person putting the trunk in their head… afterwards… getting some food… over and over… and wed took lots of pics…. after getting bored by the sameness and annoyed by the elephant´s “habitat”…. we went to the monkeys…. they are everywhere…. and the cams kept shooting loads…. the shooter was pressed pretty continuously…. as my lens are fisheye and wide-open…. I normally get freakin close to the subject…. almost in their face… and with the monkeys was not different….

Almost ready to go away we split and suddenly a guy came talking loads of pics of me… coming with the cam pretty close… you know when you try to understand whats going on live… as the things happen?? haha there you go!! haha

And that was me… I was there… in a photo shoot… without any clue and being photographic raped hahaha I thought at first that it could be because of the monkeys…. cuz I was getting really close and he wanted me to feel like them… which would make sense… but the old guy was really aggressive and shouting at me…. did not get at all…. until I started paying attention on what he was saying…. “thief”… “Fuckin thief”…. “you took thousand of pics of the elephant and did not give any money to him!!” hahahahaha

Oh… thats the reason… money… well… its funny how people get mad for nothing…. hahaha

I tried to argue with him that we paid at the entrance but there are some people in this world that don’t respect even the atmosphere inside a temple full of kindness and good vibes….

haha but as he came close to me shouting again I decided give him the same act he gave me… he took pics of my face right??? I put my big Canon 7D… with my big fish eye… as close as I could (without hit him in the face… even though that would be delightful….)… if you know nothing about photography…. its nice to know that this cam takes 8 pics per second…. and each pic makes a nice and loud noise…. hahahahaha it was like shooting the old fella hahahahahahah

I think that cam had never given me such a huge pleasure!! hahahahah but the pics I made with it are great anyways hahaha check them out in my Flickr page!!

After that he tried to punch me… I avoided engaging cuz it would mean trouble…. fighting an old indian guy… inside a holy temple…. no good!! hahahaha

Alfonso was chasing monkeys and didn´t even see it hahaha his big arms would have helped keeping the old grumpy and penniless guy away!! hahahahah

Good story though…. and good lesson learnt…. never fight back with the same weapon… unless your weapon is better that your opponent hahahahahahah just kidding!! =)

haha… cool… I had few other things to tell yas but got excited once again and wrote way too much…. hope you enjoyed…. we´re enjoying over here too!!

Have a fantastic life and smile everyday beasts!!! Keep climbing strong and having fun!!

2017 will be spectacular!!

Cheers,

Evan